#bobby and lois

[citizenscreen]

Now watching on TCM

[psychicvoidtale]

IF YOU MAKE GLORIA, LOIS, ROMAN, AND ARNOLD

A FUCKING POLY

I SWEAR TO GOD

OMG YES!!!!!!

THEY ARE POLY NOW

[blushingsastiel]

another scene that I quite like is when castiel is spying on sam, dean, and bobby because they think castiel is working with crowley (they all don't want to be right) and sam says he would DIE FOR CASTIEL. and castiel is just there in the back like ":)" but also ":(" because he knows deep down that what he is doing is wrong. AND BOBBY COMPARES CASTIEL TO SUPERMAN GOING DARK SIDE AND DEAN REPLIES TO THAT WITH "that makes you lois lane" pointing to sam and the writers don't expect people to ship sastiel?????

[gonedove]

Hey there im currently seeing what style would be best for me to easily draw the kiddos , while i usually delete my quick sketches i though why not share them? Hope you like :)

[lavoixhumaine]

i am now in a world where these two—

and these two—

are being referenced together and i am fucking living for it.

[cloudaintfair]

Would this fic be considered Taylor Bashing?

It's just the FireFam commenting about Taylor's book via the podcast made by one Billy Batson.

[the-myrna-loy-blog]

Wow!  ~  Myrna and Cary.

[haveyouseenthisromcom]

[jojoblessed365]

popping into people's asks this morning!

what's your favorite film of all time that you want everyone you know to watch and enjoy?

Hi there!

So uh, I guess if anyone has seen my blog, I'm a sucker for classics, and I don't have one favourite film of all time. So I'll give you 3:

1. The Apartment (1960)

This is by far the funniest and darkest film I've ever seen- the harsh reality of wanting what makes us happy in exchange for our morals is the theme of the movie and is handled quite deftly by Billy Wilder. I think this is my Casablanca preference and everyone has to watch this movie at least once.

2. The Bachelor and The Bobby Soxer (1947)

Cary Grant should've made more than just 3 movies with Myrna Loy, that's all I'll say about this one.

3. Holiday (1938)

This movie is an eye opener for a lot of us in today's day and age- what constitutes "living" is the core question and Cary Grant's character is a phenomenal guy. Plus we get to see some acrobats and some really lovey dovey expressions.

Thanks once again @disasterbiwriter

P.S. I wanted to consider adding The Heiress, but I doubt people would really enjoy it so ... but it's a wonderful movie and Olivia De Havilland is exceptional as always

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode!

Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 12 on my list: RKO and Vanguard Films’ 1947 comedy The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, directed by Irving Reis, written by Sidney Sheldon, and starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, and Shirley Temple.

This movie is kind of like the Major and the Minor in that it has an incredibly bizarre premise and absolutely would not be made today but is somehow way better than it has any right to be. There is so much going on that I don’t even know how to summarize the plot concisely in a way that will make sense to people who haven’t seen it, but I’ll try.

Judge Margaret Turner (Myrna Loy) is the guardian of her 17-year-old sister Susan (Shirley Temple), who thinks she sentences people too harshly. Perhaps slightly influenced by this, when artist Richard Nugent (Cary Grant) comes before her charged with starting a brawl, she lets him off with a warning, against the urging of assistant district attorney Tommy Chamberlain (Rudy Vallee). That same afternoon, Richard is the guest lecturer at Susan’s school, and she immediately develops a crush on him. After interviewing him for the school paper, Susan decides she needs to model for him, so that evening she gets into his apartment when he’s not there. As soon as he discovers her, Margaret and Tommy show up, assuming Richard was trying to seduce Susan. Richard ends up in jail after punching Tommy. When it becomes clear how deeply Susan has fallen for Richard, the court psychiatrist, Dr. Matt Beemish (Ray Collins), who also happens to be Margaret and Susan’s uncle, convinces the ADA to drop the charges if Richard agrees to date Susan until her infatuation wears off. And then of course, Richard and Margaret start to develop feelings for each other.

I don’t really remember my first impressions of this movie. I think the rest of my family watched it without me before I’d seen it, but I can’t remember if I was busy doing something else or just wasn’t interested. But it didn’t take long for me to start loving it, and that love has never really faded. I watched it twice in 2003, three times in 2004, once in 2005, once in 2006, once in 2009, twice in 2010, three times in 2011, once in 2012, 2013, and each year from 2015 through 2021, and three times in 2022. I’m pretty sure I had also seen it in 2002, because I remember being very into it in 7th grade, which was the 2002-2003 school year. I was in a writing class with one of my best friends, in which we got to write a play together. I must have shown this movie to her by then because we would quote the “You remind me of a man.” “What man?” “The man with the power.” “What power?” “The power of hoodoo.” “Hoodoo?” “You do.” “Do what?” “Remind me of a man.” “What man?” “The man with the power…” etc circular routine so frequently that we had to put it in our play. Now I know that that has also been referenced in other media, but as far as I can tell, it originated in The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.

In addition to inventing that silly routine, this script also invented fake slang that I love. Susan likes to say that she’s feeling “sklonklish,” which seems to mean too tired to do anything, which is very much a mood. And then there’s the iconic “Mellow Greetings, Ukie-Dukie” that Susan’s former (and future) boyfriend Jerry White (played by Johnny Sands) teaches Richard, which has been the header on my main Tumblr blog since I started it in 2012. In fact, if you can get past the whole “a court would never order a middle-aged man to date a teenaged girl, wtf” of it all, this movie’s script is surprisingly fabulous, full of great one-line zingers and thoroughly engaging conversations between well-developed characters and several iconic scenes. Sidney Sheldon won an Oscar for the screenplay, which I still kind of can’t believe because goofy movies like this don’t tend to win Academy Awards, but it was definitely deserved. The writing is so excellent that it not only pulls off the ridiculous premise, but it almost makes you forget that the premise was ridiculous in the first place. The characters are written so believably that you don’t want to question them. There are so many great scenes throughout, and the part in the restaurant where it seems like Richard and Margaret might finally get on the same page but keep getting interrupted by more and more characters showing up and the waiters singing “Happy Birthday” and “Happy Anniversary” to a bunch of different people, is still one of the best comedic drama scenes I’ve ever seen.

The script was already incredible on the page, and then it was brought to life by the perfect cast. I’ve already talked about one Cary Grant/Myrna Loy pairing, Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, which was made the year after The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, and they are equally delightful together in both, although their characters’ dynamic could not have been more different. In Mr. Blandings, while their relationship has some ups and downs, they’re married to each other the whole time, whereas in Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer they embark on a mutual-contempt-to-mutual-admiration journey. And they both play every stage of their relationship flawlessly. They have incredible chemistry, both romantic and comedic, so their scenes together are beautifully entertaining. And then there’s Shirley Temple. This was toward the end of her film career, and you can kind of tell that the studios didn’t really know what to do with her now that she wasn’t a little girl anymore. In many of her earlier films, she played an orphan who managed to charm grumpy older men, and again in this movie she plays an orphan, but now that she’s a teenager, enchanting adults isn’t cute anymore. The older man needs to find it annoying that she’s trying to charm him, otherwise it would be creepy. I’m sure it must have been frustrating for 19-year-old Temple to be essentially typecast in the same kind of role she’d been playing since she was a toddler, except now she’s the obstacle to the main love story rather than the star. But by golly, she sells the heck out of it anyway. She gives Susan the exact blend of silliness and earnestness required to make the character and the story work. She has a very believable sisterly dynamic with Myrna Loy, even though Loy was definitely old enough to be her mother. It’s unclear what their characters’ age gap is supposed to be – we know that Margaret is an established judge while Susan is still in high school, so they have to be pretty far apart, which is kind of odd because Margaret tells Richard that their parents didn’t get married until they were both out of law school, so they must have been rather old when Susan was born, but let’s not overthink it too much. Margaret is clearly torn between trying to be a sister and parent figure to Susan, who doesn’t seem at all interested in making that easier on Margaret, and I love the way Myrna Loy and Shirley Temple play within that tension.

And then there’s the way Susan interacts with Richard. She thinks he’s the most wonderful person she’s ever seen and is initially awestruck. There’s this great moment when they first meet and she dares to lightly touch his arm, and then looks like that’s the most fantastic thing she’s ever done. And then she decides she’s deeply in love with him, and when they start going out, she’s convinced they’re going to end up together. Richard never really knows what to make of Susan, but he tries to keep up with her as best he can. One of my favorite scenes is when Susan is interviewing Richard, and he starts out just giving her vague, bland answers, but when she keeps insisting that he must have had a very interesting life, he starts making up a super dramatic backstory. She hangs on his every word, absolutely eating it up. At one point, he tells her that he used to steal, and she breathlessly asks, “What did you steal?” Richard’s line is “crusts of bread and things,” but Cary Grant gives one of my favorite line deliveries of all time. He starts with saying “crusts of bread” kind of normally, but then he pauses dramatically, leans forward, and puts a lot of emphasis on “and THINGS” and then does this amazing little nod and I love it so much. “Crusts of bread… and THINGS” is one of those random movie lines I quote a lot and nobody knows what I’m talking about. Anyway, there are a bunch of other very entertaining moments between Richard and Susan, like when they’re watching the high school basketball game and Susan’s really getting into the cheers, and at the end of one, she looks at Richard expectantly, so he just goes, “Rah!” with mock enthusiasm, which seems to satisfy her. And of course there’s the “mellow greetings, ukie-dukie” scene when they’re both just saying nonsense fake slang but making it sound like a real conversation. They absolutely should not be dating, but I really enjoy the aspects of their relationship that don’t involve Susan trying to make something romantic happen. I can definitely see them having a fun sibling-in-law dynamic in the future.

It’s funny because I feel like this movie is one of the main things that made me think that I did have a crush on Cary Grant, and it was also one of the main things that convinced me that I didn’t. In my teens and early 20s, I claimed that I loved this movie because I related to Susan having a hopeless crush on Cary Grant. But eventually I realized that I was relating more to the part toward the end when Susan finally realizes that she actually doesn’t like Richard that way. In Susan’s case, it’s because she’s better suited for Jerry, who is literally perfect for her – they talk the same way and have the exact same attitude toward life, and he cares about her so much that he even organizes a group of friends to make Richard win an obstacle race because he knows it will make Susan happy. In my case, it meant facing the fact that I was probably never going to like anyone that way, despite society’s myths about soulmates and amatonormativity and such, which is perhaps why it took me decades to figure out what Susan learned in a few days. This movie, like most, is very amatonormative, but I think it does a pretty good job of demonstrating that being in awe of someone is not the same thing as being in love with them. The first time Susan sees Richard, she imagines him in shining armor, and immediately puts him on a pedestal. Even if there hadn’t been an inappropriate age difference between them, that kind of relationship is not sustainable. Margaret, too, imagines Richard in armor, but that’s after she’s gotten to know him. She initially saw him as a common criminal, then saw him briefly as a gallant knight, and is mature enough to conclude that he’s just a normal person in between those two, and that’s part of why I feel like their relationship has a future.

While I love most of the characters in this movie, there are two that bother me. One is Dr. Beemish, aka Uncle Matt, and the other is Tommy Chamberlain, aka the assistant district attorney. Dr. Beemish does play an important role in getting Richard and Margaret together, but I don’t know why he has to be so slimy about it. Part of what I don’t like about him is he’s way too focused on Margaret getting married. Before Richard even enters the story, Matt responds to Margaret putting on her judge’s robes with, “Exit woman, enter judge. More’s the pity.” And it’s just like, excuse me, she can be a judge and a woman! It feels like the movie was trying to say, “We’re progressive, but not that progressive” and I hate it. Although Matt does add at the end of that scene that he’s more interested in making sure she marries the right man than making sure she gets married at all, which I guess is nice, though I’m not sure why he’s appointed himself in charge of that. Margaret can find the right man for herself. But to be fair, he did say that in response to Tommy giving her a present, which, like, I’m sorry, but it seems very weird to me that Tommy and Margaret are kind of sort of dating at the beginning of the movie. Like, I’m not an expert on judiciary ethics, but an assistant district attorney dating a judge feels like a major conflict of interest. I guess the idea was that if they got married, she would just… quit? I don’t know, but I don’t like it, which is why I forgive Uncle Matt for trying to steer Margaret away from Tommy and toward Richard. I do think Dr. Beemish should lose his job, and possibly his medical license, for telling the police that Tommy’s a mental patient of his who thinks he’s an assistant district attorney, even though that scene is very funny and Tommy does kind of deserve it. What I’m trying to say is, this movie is far from perfect, but none of its flaws make me love it any less.

I do think it’s a little ironic that this movie made such a big deal about how inappropriate it would be for Cary Grant to date someone as much younger than him as Shirley Temple was, and then in Father Goose he played opposite Leslie Caron, who was born three years after Shirley Temple was. I mean, that movie was made 17 years after Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, and as I mentioned in that episode, age gaps are significantly less disturbing when the younger partner is over 30. But still. Given that Cary Grant would now be 119 years old, it’s kind of wild to me that some of his costars are still alive. (Shirley Temple is sadly not one of them, rest in peace, but Leslie Caron is.) But at least in this movie, Grant’s main leading lady was only a year younger than him. I also think it’s kind of funny that the movie establishes that Richard is 18 years older than Susan, when Grant was actually 24 years older than Temple, especially because Susan was two years younger than Temple. It just goes to show that Hollywood has been messing with people’s perceptions of age for a very long time. I’ve always been more interested in age from a numerical perspective than an existential perspective, and I often forget that most people in this society view aging past adulthood as inherently negative, at least until one reaches a particularly impressive old age. As of this week, I am over a third of the way to 100 years old, which realistically probably means I’m more than a third of the way through my life, but my brain is far more interested in going, “Ooh, 33.33333…infinite threes!” than pondering my mortality. But I’ve learned that that is unusual, and a lot of people get offended if you bring up their age, which is part of why I tend to focus my interest in people’s ages on past movie stars who are either deceased or beyond the point where age becomes a badge of honor again.

Anyway, thank you for spending some of your limited time on earth listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched movies. Next week I’ll be talking about the other Cary Grant movie I watched 25 times while I was keeping track, which is one in which he starred opposite an actress who was significantly younger than him, although she was born a few years before Shirley Temple, and who is, knock on wood, as far as I know at the time of recording, currently the oldest living Oscar winner. So stay tuned, and as always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Seven parking tickets.”

[craigfernandez]

[perfettamentechic]

26 luglio … ricordiamo …

26 luglio … ricordiamo … #semprevivineiricordi #nomidaricordare #personaggiimportanti #perfettamentechic

2021: Gogó Rojo, nome d’arte di Gladys del Valle Rojo Castro, attrice argentina. Sorella di Ethel Rojo.  (n. 1942) 2020: Olivia de Havilland, nata Olivia Mary de Havilland, è stata un’attrice britannica naturalizzata statunitense. Sorella maggiore dell’attrice Joan Fontaine. (n. 1916) 2020: Claudia Giannotti, attrice e doppiatrice italiana. Fu moglie del doppiatore e attore Carlo Valli. (n.…

[dean-boese-universe]

Today, Laura, Krysta and Dean visit the small farming town of Skidmore, Missouri. Picture this, you live in a small farming community and one of your neighbors is a thief and a known bully. He has been tried 20 times and has never been convicted. He intimidates witnesses by following them home or parking in front of their house. He intimidates others to lie on his behalf as 'witnesses'...and he shoots the owner of the local grocery store. The store owner survives and finally, the bully is convicteed of assault, but allowed to bond out while he awaits his appeal and loudly threatens the store owner to anyone who would listen. Then picture that bully climbing behind the wheel of his truck only for several people to fire weapons with two bullets striking and killing him. No one is ever accused or arrested in his killing. That is the story of Ken Rex McElroy, the bully of Skidmore, Missouri in a story you will have to hear to believe in the latest edition of the Family Plot Podcast!

[venus-haze]

God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor (Father Charlie Mayhew x Reader)

Summary: Your decision to dress up as a slutty nun for Halloween has unexpected consequences when you make the acquaintance of an equally attractive and disturbed priest. (AO3 link)

Note: Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. Not entirely spoiler-free, but if you’ve watched up to episode 6, you should be good! Also I couldn't find what the parish name was, so I made one up. The gif doesn't really have anything to do with the fic, I just like it🤭 Please look at the warnings before deciding whether to read this fic.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Non-con involving degradation, rough oral sex (m. receiving); ambiguous ending.

You knew early on in the night you had made a mistake in costume choice. The vinyl skirt started pinching your waist after less than an hour of wearing it, the nipple pasties were slowly peeling off despite your best effort, and the platform heels weren’t forgiving after several shots of tequila. The vinyl habit stayed in place with the bobby pins you used, but after a while, it felt like it was cooking your head.

Your friends found your plight funnier as the night went on, cracking jokes about how it was God punishing you for wearing the costume in the first place. Lisa had little trouble with her Tinkerbell costume, a green mini-dress and sparkly heels she pulled from her closet and a cheap set of fairy wings from the same Spirit Halloween you got your costume from. Julie’s Bridgerton-inspired costume seemed a bit out of place compared to you and Lisa, but she got a lot of compliments on the details.

For the limited the fun your little desert town had to offer, something was definitely missing from the night out.

“Why did Merritt say she couldn’t make it, again?” Lisa asked, the three of you walking down the street to the next bar you’d inevitably terrorize. All the usual haunts, where the bartenders knew your order and half the patrons were people you’d gone to high school with and definitely didn’t want to see again.

You shrugged. “I texted her earlier, and she said she couldn’t make it, something came up.”

“It sucks she doesn’t hang out anymore,” Julie said. “Did we do something?”

“I mean, her dad’s in a coma, and her mom’s working all the time with those gross murders going on,” Lisa said. “She’s probably the only one keeping things together at home.”

The three of you had known Merritt for years, your friend group becoming tight-knit as time went on. Getting carted to and from soccer games turned into sleepovers and late nights getting fast food. You got to know the Tryons pretty well over the years. Her dad was nice enough, and you always found her mom funny, if not a bit overprotective, but Lois always remembered your birthday.

“I’m gonna stop by sometime this week. It’s been way too long since any of us have seen her,” you resolved.

Lisa and Julie agreed, though you weren’t sure Merritt would appreciate all of you showing up unannounced at her house. You figured you’d be better off going yourself and seeing what the deal was with Merritt.

Stumbling over your platforms, you struggled to keep up with Lisa and Julie until you tripped and nearly wiped out on the sidewalk. You caught yourself on a nearby telephone pole, the lights from the nearby buildings blurring the more you tried to focus.

“Fuck,” you groaned. “I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Are you sure?” Lisa asked.

“Yeah, I’m gonna find a convenience store and then get an Uber home.”

“We can go with you,” Julie said.

You shook your head. “Don’t end your night early because of me.”

“Alright, text us when you get home.”

When the world finally appeared upright again, you looked at the nearby street sign, recognizing where you were, at least. Not far to the nearest shop that you were certain would be open late. You checked your phone for the time and felt especially lame. It wasn’t even midnight yet.

With a sigh, you turned down the street, opening your messages to your most recent text to Merritt. Your FaceTime request went unanswered, so you opted for an audio message instead.

“Hey Mer, it’s me. We missed you tonight!” You paused awkwardly, wishing you could actually talk to her. “Look, there’s a Halloween party tomorrow night, something out in the desert. It’s not too late to get a costume. We could go to the Spirit Halloween in the old Bed, Bath and Beyond—“ A catcall interrupted your rambling. “Look, just call me or something, at least let me know you’re alright? Bye, babe.”

The fluorescent lights in the store were almost headache-inducing, but you powered through for a bottle of Gatorade and a protein bar that you hoped would mitigate the hangover you’d inevitably have in the morning. 

Gatorade in hand, you felt almost dizzy staring at the array of protein bars in front of you, wondering how there could even be so many and if they were really any different. A man walked down the aisle, standing a few feet away from you, though you didn’t pay him much mind until you grabbed a protein bar and noticed he was dressed as a priest.

“Hey, nice costume,” you told him.

“Oh, this isn’t a costume.”

You laughed. “Right.” Your inhibitions lowered, you gave him a once over, your gaze lingering on his handsome face, his muscular arms. “You know it’s a shame we didn’t run into each other earlier tonight, we probably could’ve won a couples contest or something.”

He smiled, though something flickered in his brown eyes that made your guts churn. Except, it likely wasn’t him, as you shoved what you were holding onto the shelf next to you and rushed out of the store.

You wretched, the contents of your stomach emptied onto the blacktop. Tears burned your eyes, your throat scratchy and raw by the time you were done. You felt a hand on your upper back, could barely hear the sound of a man asking if you were okay over the sound of blood pounding in your ears.

Glancing up, you were mortified to see the priest looking at you with concern, though disgust was nowhere in his expression.

He handed you the Gatorade you’d been holding in the store, apparently going ahead and buying it for you. Taking a swig, you swished some around in your mouth before spitting it on the ground. He gave you a handful of crumpled napkins as well, and you tried maintaining what was left of your dignity while getting yourself together in front of him.

You managed a mousy thanks, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Don’t tell me you plan on driving home,” he said.

You shook your head. “I came out here with my friends."

"And they just left you like this? Alone?"

"I told them I'd get an Uber.”

“They'll charge you double tonight," he said. "I can drive you.”

Accepting a ride home from a stranger certainly wasn’t the smartest choice to make, but he actually seemed to give a shit about your well-being. You agreed, if not for the fact that you were curious about him, and the horny part of your brain hadn't shut up since you saw him.

He kept his hand on your back as he walked you over to his car. Almost felt like his fingers were twitching against your skin. 

Getting into his car, you noticed the rosary hanging from the rearview mirror, a saint card clipped to his visor. 

“Oh my god, are you actually a priest?” you asked from the passenger seat as he turned the car on.

“I told you it wasn’t a costume.”

“Shit.”

“Father Charlie Mayhew, from Our Lady of Sorrows, if you don’t believe me.” He smiled, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What’s your address?”

After giving him your address along with your name, realizing you hadn’t told him yet, you rolled the window down about halfway, finding the fragrant odor of incense and cologne a bit overwhelming for your queasy stomach. The cool night air gave you instant relief, and you laid back on the headrest, keeping your eyes closed for a few minutes. 

Father Charlie filled the quiet with a true crime podcast. Not a particularly odd choice, except that he was a priest, but Catholicism always lent itself to morbidity—his was more modern, you supposed.

“Have you heard about those murders around town?” you asked over the sound of a young woman giving the background of a triple homicide.

“Yes, our parish’s publication has been reporting on it,” he said. “I'm the editor, but one of our nuns is working closely with the lead detective on the case.”

You opened your eyes to look at him in disbelief. “Lois is working with a nun?”

“You know detective Tryon?”

“She’s my best friend’s mom,” you said. “I went to her house all the time growing up.”

“You must know her pretty well, then.”

“Yeah, Lois is one hell of a detective,” you said. “Still, I can’t imagine…whoever’s behind it must be depraved. What he’s doing—it’s not even human, it’s animal.”

“He?”

“I don’t think anyone but a man could be capable of that kind of barbarism, Father.”

“You might be right about that,” he said solemnly.

You drank more Gatorade, hoping to settle your stomach and ease your discomfort with the direction the conversation had taken. But you were the one who brought up the murders in the first place. All had some kind of religious connotation. No wonder the Catholic paper was eating that shit up. 

Catholicism was always predisposed to an especially grotesque morbidity. Open wounds considered blessings. Bones of the holy displayed with reverence. Even bread and wine transformed into the body and blood of Christ himself. Whoever was behind the recent murders was either observant or well-read.

Father Charlie pulled up to your building about ten minutes later, and you internally sighed in relief when he turned the podcast off. You couldn’t wait to get out of the damn costume and into bed.

“Thanks, Father Charlie,” you said. “I owe you one.”

“Actually, mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked.

You shook your head. “‘Course not. Come on up.”

Acutely aware of the costume you were wearing again, it was far too tempting not to show off on the way up to your apartment, swinging your hips a bit more than was warranted, knowing he was right behind you, the tight skirt giving him a full view of your ass. You privately bemoaned the fact that he was actually a priest. What a fucking waste. A guy who looked like him had no business giving himself to Jesus and denying the rest of the world the pleasure.

You took a selfie by your front door, a tired smile and a thumbs up that you sent to Julie and Lisa.

“Just letting my friends know I got home safe,” you explained, noticing Father Charlie staring at you.

You could barely hide your self-satisfied smile when you unlocked the front door. “The bathroom’s through the kitchen, first door on the right.”

“Thank you.”

Making a beeline for your bedroom, the first thing you did was take your heels off. Your feet were still sore, with a mean blister that made you walk funny when you brought the heels over to your shoe rack. You could hear the toilet flush and the water from the sink run in the bathroom. Chewing on your lip, you were almost tempted to ask Father Charlie if he wanted to stick around. If you could just brush your teeth and reapply some makeup real quick, you'd be good as new.

You never got a chance to.

“So, why this costume?” he asked, startling you.

You gasped, turning around to see him leaning against the door frame. “Oh, um—I thought it was funny.”

“What’s funny about it?”

“Well, nuns aren’t supposed to have sex, and this costume is—”

“Pornographic," he said. "I mean, it’s something you get fucked in.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, shocked at his bluntness.

“Chastity. The sacred vow to God that all women of the cloth take, and you—” he scoffed to himself, stepping into your bedroom so he was only a few feet away from you, “you mock it.”

You knew you should’ve picked the sexy nurse costume instead. “I’m so sorry, Father.”

“You will be. Get on your knees.”

“Ex-excuse me?”

“Don’t be crude. This is about repentance.”

The searing venom in his voice made your muscles contort to his will, and you found yourself on your knees. You should have been fighting back, screaming for him to get out, but in your heart you knew it was useless. Back in the convenience store, you noticed his fit physique, and you could hardly count on your neighbors to give a shit if you were in any kind of trouble.

"Do you even know how to make a sign of the cross?" he asked mockingly.

You shakily did so, bringing your left hand to your forehead, then your chest, then to each shoulder. He scoffed, apparently you messed something up, but he didn't elaborate, instead ordering you to repeat after him. The prayer came jumbled from your mouth, 'through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault' over and over until his voice was ringing in your ears like a broken church bell.

The bulge in his pants was impossible to ignore. You kept your eyes focused on his face, even when you heard the sound of his zipper and clothes shifting. But you couldn't help it, not when he was pumping his cock right in front of your face. Your repetition dipped with a slight whimper when you glanced at the size of him, foolishly hoping it was just proximity making his length appear so intimidating and angry, as if it wanted to hurt you just like he did.

“Simply praying won’t do someone like you any good," he said abruptly. "You need another form of penance, something more tangible."

Shoving his cock in your open mouth, you choked at the intrusion, attempted to shift backward and finally make a run for it, but he caught you by the habit you so stupidly kept in place with bobby pins and hit the back of your throat.

"Why don't you give me ten Hail Marys?" he mocked, his looming silhouette appearing outright demonic through your tear-filled gaze.

You didn't know the damn prayer. Couldn't even try to fake it when all you could manage was muffled pleas for him to slow down, go easy on you, have mercy. Your jaw ached, throat burned at the force he used to make you take as much of his cock as you possibly could.

He didn't show any signs of fatigue, save for the beads of sweat that rolled from his face and onto your own. He grinned at that, at you, the position you were in. The church was full of sickos, and he was certainly no exception.

Making one feeble attempt to fight back, your teeth grazed his cock, and just as you tried to work up the courage to bite down, he jerked his hips, cursing under his breath.

"Take it," his voice a low growl as he came in your mouth, ignoring your choking, spit and snot and cum leaking down your face and onto your vinyl costume and exposed breasts, "take your penance, slut."

Father Charlie hardly gave you a chance to catch your breath when he pulled his spent cock out of your mouth. You practically collapsed on your bedroom floor, each gasp of air painful against the back of your abused throat. Grabbing you by the habit again, he hauled you over to your bed, bending you over the edge of it.

He shoved his fingers between your legs and scoffed at the wetness that coated your thighs, your thong doing little to contain your subconscious reaction to the way he treated you. "Oh, that's just shameful," he drawled. "You're not repentant at all, are you? Leading a man of the cloth astray, causing me to sin…why else would you have put this costume on tonight?"

Straddling you from behind like a dog, his body was heavy on yours. With one hand squeezing your neck, the other pressed something against your throat. You reached for whatever he was holding, freezing in panic when you realized it was the hair scissors you kept in your bathroom. He must have swiped it while he was in there. They weren't even that sharp, but the extra effort he'd have to put in to mortally injure you with them would mean it would be all the more painful for you.

“Depraved, animal, barbaric,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Is that what you think of me?”

You whimpered, feeling his cruel laughter rumble in his chest against your back. “No—no, you can’t be—”

“I was going to do something about that costume anyway, but having that mutual friend in common,” he mused, “I just can’t pass up the opportunity to leave Detective Tryon a personal message. Call it divine will.”

“I’m sorry,” you choked out.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You can tell God yourself how sorry you are,” he whispered.

“No—Father, please don’t—”

[megalony]

Model Patients

This is an Evan x Reader x Eddie imagine, based on a lovely anon request, kind of like my Doctor Diaz fic. I hope you will all like it I loved writing this. Let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: When (Y/n), Eddie and all their kids bar one get food poisoning, Evan has to look after them all. And he loves it.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie leaned forward and slumped his elbows down on the table, but his eyes flitted to the right to look at the girls sat next to him.

The sight of (Y/n) swaying Nina from side to side in her arms made Eddie's lips curve up into a grin. It was something that Eddie and Evan would never get tired of seeing, which was a good thing considering the three of them had five kids in total now.

And Nina was by far their easiest baby, she didn't fuss, she barely cried and she settled for her naps almost straight away. And she didn't care which parent or person was holding her. All the team had been able to hold and cuddle Nina for ages and she didn't fuss or cry or scream out.

When they had Lois, she was attached to (Y/n), if Eddie or Evan held her for too long she would cry out for her mum. And Eddie knew that had hurt Evan. She was his first baby and he couldn't cradle her all night long like he wanted.

Pete had been a fussy baby, but he had colic so he was always unsettled and crying because he was in pain. They wouldn't have been able to bring him out to a restaurant like this when he was one month old like they could Nina.

Grace had been a daddy's girl through and through and she still was. If Eddie passed her to Evan, she didn't fuss. But if he passed her to (Y/n) she would wake up immediately and if Bobby held her, she knew instantly that it wasn't one of her dads and she would scream.

"Daddy…"

Shifting his eyes from (Y/n) to the highchair resting between them, Eddie smiled softly at Grace. She dropped the children's menu they had put in front of her and held her arms out expectingly.

She made grabby fists in his direction and began to whimper, shedding superficial tears until Eddie sighed and gave in. He unclipped the buckle around her waist and lifted her out the highchair. He knew she wouldn't sit in it for long. They hadn't even ordered yet and she was making a fuss so she could be cuddled instead.

"Come here then," He murmured as he lifted her up and sat her down on his lap, letting her burrow into his chest. Her fingers started to trace over the tattoo on his right arm and she smiled when Eddie leaned his chin on the top of her head.

"What do you fancy, baby?" (Y/n) shifted Nina a little higher in the crook of her arm and looked down at Pete who was sat next to her, tucked up into her side.

Evan was next to Pete, Lois was sat on his lap and Chris was wedged happily between both dads.

Pete shrugged his shoulders and took anothher look over the menu, but he didn't know what to have. He didn't always like what was on the children's menu, he wanted to be like Chris and Lois who always chose of the adult menu. Even though Lois was only one year older than Pete; she was six and he was five.

"Wanna share some pasta?" (Y/n) turned and pushed her chair back so she could ease the newborn down into the pram behind her. Nina was settled now and she'd had a bottle just before they came out, she should sleep through now until they got her back home. And if not, (Y/n) knew Evan would be up and over to take her before her or Eddie could move an inch.

When Pete nodded and smiled, (Y/n) put the menu back in the middle of the table and looked round at the rest of her family.

"Pasta." Chris agreed and smiled when Eddie nodded and muttered "We'll have that too," Referring to him and Grace. She was a fussy eater but she would pick at whatever Eddie ate and if they shared it, she would be more inclined to eat.

"We having pasta too, papa?"

"You can have that if you want baby, I'll have cottage pie." Evan let Lois shuffle back into him and lean her head back on his shoulder.

Pasta was the main dish Bobby had been cooking on almost every shift this week and Evan was done with it. He'd had spag bol, mac and cheese, carbonara. He was finished with pasta, the sight was making him feel queasy and he needed something else.

"That makes you the odd one out." Eddie commented with a grin while Evan rolled his eyes and pretended to laugh.

He was more than happy being the odd one out if the rest of them wanted to get red sauce stained all down their clothes and make a mess while they were out in public.

Evan would rather play it safe.

***

(Y/n) pressed her palm into the wall and used it as leverage to propell herself from the bedroom. Her feet crumpled beneath her and her legs felt like they had turned to jelly as she stumbled down the hall towards the bathroom.

Her forehead pressed against the wood and she gave it a shove but her throat tightened when the door didn't open. She bashed her knuckles on the door and slumped her body against it, wondering which of her family was held up inside.

"Occupied." Eddie's grumbled response came through the door and (Y/n) couldn't help but cry in response.

"I- I- Eddie please! Emergency!" (Y/n)'s gurgled response and the way she started to gag and croak told Eddie she was going to be sick. Whether or not he opened the door, (Y/n) would be sick and she would rather throw up in the sink or in the very least, on the bathroom floor rather than out here on the carpet.

As soon as the lock clicked, (Y/n) stumbled in but she froze when she turned towards the toilet.

Chris was in here too. The twelve-year-old was knelt down on the floor, hunched over with his hands on the toilet and his head in the bowl.

And then there was Eddie. He was sat with his back against the wall on the left side of the door, his feet wedged up against the bottom of the toilet. His arms were bound around his legs that were coiled up to his stomach and his forehead had been resting on his knees until (Y/n) rushed in.

He looked terrible. His skin had lost all colour, he was reduced to an ungodly shade of grey (Y/n) only ever saw on him when he was ill or when he had been in hospital after he got shot. His eyes were rimmed with dark purple and black streaks. His lips were no longer a loving shade of ruby red but were now pale and almost hazy blue. And his body was shaking back and forth against the wall.

(Y/n) couldn't spend long looking at one of her boys. She spared Chris and Eddie a glance before she turned to the right and grabbed the sink just in time to throw up. Her chest imbedded into the edge of the sink and her fingers scratched into the cold porcelean.

She coughed, heaved and gasped as she tried to breathe but couldn't fathom how when she couldn't stop throwing up.

"Mum sick too?" Chris lifted his head from the toilet and looked tiredly over his shoulder. He too had no colour to his skin, his complexion was pale, his eyes were half lidded and he was starting to sweat.

A quiet whine left Chris's lips when Eddie nudged him to the side, grunting as he parted his knees to the side and leant over to throw up into the toilet.

Eddie spat into the toilet and flopped back, letting his head bang against the wall with a loud thud. He gasped for breath, but when he looked across at (Y/n) and noticed her barely able to keep herself stood up, he flinched.

"Oh God… Evan! Babe!" Eddie hollered as loudly as he could but his voice was croaky and his throat felt inflamed.

He let his left arm slump back over his knees that were pinned into his throbbing stomach. But he moved his right hand, clenching it into a fist so he could ram his fist on the wall. He hit the wall a few times, loud enough to make an echo course throughout the house. They needed some help.

"What's… going on?"

The door opened again but Evan didn't dare step inside. He darted his eyes between the boys and (Y/n) who finally pulled away from the sink. But Evan shivered when he watched her knees quake and she used the sink as leverage to lower herself down to the floor. Her legs curled beneath her and she let her head press against the sink that felt refreshing and cold against her clammy skin.

"You okay?" The way Eddie tilted his head to one side and looked up at Evan made him shiver.

"Me? I'm good, but you two look like death on legs."

"I th- I think we've got food poisoning, Pete's sick too. Go c-check the girls." Eddie grimaced and closed his eyes when the bathroom light started to become far too bright for his eyes.

If Evan was alright, Eddie would guess they all got some sort of food poisoning from the pasta they ate last night. They all had the same thing and if Evan was fine, then that seemed to cement things.

When Chris started crying out for Eddie, he practically crawled into the boy's room. He found Chris struggling to get out of bed, feeling horrid and his stomach aching. And poor Pete was curled up in bed, shivering and whimpering saying his stomach hurt.

"Oh fuck, okay hang tight." Evan spun on his heels and darted out of the bathroom. He would be back to carry them all back to bed in a minute, once he'd checked on the rest of the kids.

He poked his head around the boy's door since it was open and he wanted to see if Pete had been sick or if he was still asleep. He had about four teddies cuddled to his chest, he was shaking and the little whimpers he let out told Evan that he was indeed awake. But he was somewhat settled for now and Evan would come back to give him some medicine soon.

Bypassing their room, Evan headed into the girl's room and flicked on the light. He didn't like what he was faced with.

"Papa, I don't feel well." Lois whimpered, nuzzling her face into the pillow but she couldn't get back to sleep now. Her tummy hurt, it felt like her insides were twisting in knots and she wasn't sure if she needed to go to the toilet or throw up.

Evan couldn't help the way his lips pulled into a grimace when he looked between Lois and the floor.

Sometime during the night, she had thrown up on the floor and clearly, she didn't remember or realise she'd done it.

"I know baby girl, no one's well today. Um, why don't you go hop in our bed while I sort out? Mum and daddy will be back in bed in a minute."

His eyes followed her as she groggily sat up and shuffled out of bed, but the moment Lois looked down and realised she had thrown up during the night, her face fell. Her lips parted and tears welled in her eyes before she hurriedly looked up at Evan. "I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to."

"It's alright baby, hey it's okay. Go get Pete and tell him to get in our bed, I want you all where I can look after you." When she shuffled past him, Evan leaned over and kissed the top of her head. He didn't want her apologising when she couldn't help it.

He figured all his family were going to be held up in bed for the next few days and he was going to have to call Bobby and ask for a few days off. If all the kids- minus Nina who was only a month old- were ill and both Eddie and (Y/n) were out of action, that left Evan to care for them. Something he secretly loved doing.

His attention turned to the cot on the other side of the room and he headed over to see if Grace was okay or not. She had eaten about half of Eddie's dinner last night so Evan would guess she was going to be sick too.

"Papa," Grace tried to stand up in her cot and she held her arms out for him. She looked very flushed and her eyes were red and puffy as she sobbed. He knew she had been fine when he put her to bed last night and when (Y/n) checked on her this morning while she was up with Nina.

"Come here, baby-cake."

Reaching down, Evan gently scooped her up but he grimaced and his nose crinkled when she threw up on him. Right on his chest. Right in the centre of his shirt. He thanked God he had gone to bed in pyjamas last night and not just his boxers or he might have thrown up too.

A horrid scream gurgled past Grace's lips when Evan set her back down in the cot. "Baby- shh just one second, please." He carefully reeled his shirt over his head and dumped it on the floor, he would get Grace in bed and then clean up. "I'm here, okay I'm here. Let's go get everyone else, you're all having a day in bed."

"With you?"

"I'm playing doctor today, baby-cake."

Evan headed out the room but he juggled Grace higher on his chest when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She wasn't going to let him put her down. He aimed for the bathroom and his lips pressed into a thin line when he looked between them all.

"Baby, sit with daddy look. Careful, she's just thrown up on me." He leaned down and eased Grace into Eddie's arms.

A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips when Grace sat on his stomach and flopped forward onto his chest. Her head tucked beneath his chin and she scrunched his shirt up in her hands, sniffling into his neck. He moved his hand to cradle her bum and rubbed his other palm up and down her back.

"Shh, s'okay. Dad's gonna look after us all today, hm?" He pressed his lips to the top of Grace's head and when he looked up at Evan, he saw him grin in their direction.

(Y/n) coiled both arms around her waist and pressed down until she was about to explode. Her stomach was physically twisting. Her throat burned like she had swallowed bleach and she wanted nothing more than to go to sleep but her body was aching too much for that to happen. She was in agony.

She felt tears burning in her eyes when Evan crouched down beside her and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. At least with them all having food poisoning, it couldn't be passed onto Evan or Nina. So he could kiss and cuddle them all he liked and not make himself sick. It was a good job he had chosen something different to eat last night.

His arms wound around her and he effortlessly scooped her up. He could see from how she was practically laid on the floor that she wasn't going to be able to walk back to bed. And he didn't want to waste time trying to support her to walk when he could just carry her instead.

"Eight of us in this house, and only me and the baby are alright."

***

"There we go. You're a good girl, hm?" A tender smile flooded Evan's face as he looked down at the newborn in his arms.

He let his weight fall back until his hips bumped into the kitchen counter and he crossed one leg over the other. He had Nina cuddled up in his left arm, her eyes half-lidded as she was starting to fall back into another nap which didn't surprise Evan. While he had been bustling about the house for the last hour, she had been awake and gurgling into his chest.

He put the washing on, cleaned up and tidied all the bedrooms and made something to eat. He had been out for a drive a little while ago and Nina had slept through the whole ride.

Carefully, he removed the bottle from her lips and set it down on the side so he could shift Nina up onto his chest. He felt her hand begin to tap against his chest while her chin perched on his shoulder and her soft breaths fanned against his neck.

Even though he had been looking after everyone in the house, it had been a little strange but wonderful for Evan to get sone one to one time with Nina. (Y/n) and Eddie could barely stay awake other than to throw up or groan and shuffle around in bed. They were occupied trying to settle the rest of the kids and keep them calm.

So Nina had been Evan's priority because he was fine to change her and feed her and coo and entertain her.

"We're alright aren't we, baby girl? We didn't eat the pasta." He murmured softly while he smoothed his hand up and down her back and turned around to face the kitchen counter. "Alright, we need some medicine for everyone, and you can go lay with mummy."

His left arm moved up and down to sway Nina against his chest and shoulder and he grabbed the medicine bottles from the cupboard. He had been dosing them all up every four hours but Pete and Grace were horrid when it came to taking their medicine. And so was (Y/n) when she threw it up earlier and Eddie felt drowsy after taking his painkillers.

Once all the medicine was laid out on the counter, Evan moved his right hand to cradle the back of Nina's head and he walked out of the kitchen, past the dining room and into he lounge.

Yesterday, everyone had been held up in bed and they mostly slept and threw up. But when Pete and Lois projectile vomited all over the bed this morning, Evan evicted them. They were lucky that they had two large sofas in the living room and one of them was a sofa bed. So Evan had pulled the bed out and everyone was in the lounge. Curtains closed, Disney movies stacked and layered the floor and blankets and pillows were strewn about everywhere.

His heart softened when he looked at his unwell, bed-ridden family.

Eddie was wedged in the left corner, half propped up by at least three pillows. He had been burning up all night so he was laid in his boxers and nothing else which was a sight Evan was happily drinking in whenever he could. He had Grace curled up on his chest, her head tucked right against his neck under his chin and his arms were wound around her.

Pete and Lois were squashed in the middle, sniffing and squirming every now and then. Neither of them had slept well during the night. Chris was laid across the foot of the bed, propped up on two pillows as he laid on his stomach to try and relieve the pain he felt.

And (Y/n) was huddled right in the other corner of the bed, her head buried in a pillow. Her arms were wound around her waist, her knees were slightly coiled up and she had a blanket tucked around her since she was cold and the others were burning. She was wearing a pair of Evan's jogging bottoms and one of his grey lounge shirts.

"She's having a nap, do you want her for a bit?"

A small, strained smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips and she nodded, if a bit gruffly and held her arms out. She hadn't spent a lot of time with Nina this last day.

She let Evan lean over her and when he was close enough, she tilted her head back and pressed her lips against his neck. She breathed in his scent and nudged her nose into his skin which caused a laugh to vibrate through his chest and down to her. He eased Nina onto her chest and kissed her head before he leaned up and kissed (Y/n)'s lips.

(Y/n) tilted her head down and pressed her chapped lips to the top of Nina's head who was quietly yawning and smacking her lips together.

She stayed cuddled up with Nina but she lifted her gaze to watch Evan drift out of the room and come back a few moments later.

Medicine time.

"Alright, let's get you all sorted. Chris?"

The eldest gingerly lifted his head and pushed up onto his knees on the bed so he wasn't lying down. His hands moved to his knees and his nose scrunched up when Evan held out the small syringe of calpol medicine. He grimaced and shook his head after he'd taken both doses and quickly flopped down onto his stomach. He knew the rules, they had to let their medicine settle for at least five minutes before they had a drink to wash it down.

"Lois, baby?" Evan sat down on the end of the bed near Eddie's feet and motioned for Lois to move over to him but she shook her head. She shifted to the side and tried to burrow herself under Eddie's arm.

"Medicine or you go in your own bed tonight." Eddie warned and shifted his arms tighter around Grace so Lois couldn't hide behind him. She couldn't have the privillege of staying here with them now or tonight if she didn't take her meds. She would only feel worse if she refused.

They were all still being sick. They managed lunch and dinner yesterday but started throwing up during the night again. And both Eddie and (Y/n) weren't doing well on intaking any fluids.

With a grumble and a whine that made her nose scrunch up and look like (Y/n), Lois crawled down the middle of the bed until she was slumped next to Evan's knee.

The moment she took the medicine, Lois started to cough and her throat tightened as she began to gag. Evan looped his hands beneath her arms and lifted her up until she was stood between his legs. He let her slump her head on his shoulder and he smoothed his hand up and down her back to try and coax her to calm down. If she panicked and gagged she would definitely be sick.

"Good girl." He kept her leant on his chest while he filled another syringe and waved his hand for Pete to come over to him.

Pete could barely keep his eyes open. He leaned forward with his legs crossed beneath him and his arms limp on his lap. He managed to keep his head up, coughed as he took his medicine, then flopped back down with a groan.

"Okay, and one for baby-cake." Evan held out the syringe to Eddie since the two of them were cuddled together.

"Have this baby, then you can have some juice." Eddie tilted his head to the side and brushed his finger over Grace's cheek to coax her into opening her eyes. He didn't mind her staying curled up on his chest as long as she took her medicine.

It worked to his advantage that she didn't seem to know what was going on as she was half asleep. when Eddie pressed the medicine to her lips, she accepted it before she started to whimper and tuck herself more into his neck.

"Now you two."

"No, Evan I can't, I- I'll throw it up."

"Mi amor, if the kids had to then so do you." Eddie flopped his head back against the pillow and turned to look over at (Y/n). He knew she was worried about being sick but she had to try.

(Y/n) grimaced and made sure Nina was settled on her chest before she took the spoon Evan held out to her. With her eyes closed, (Y/n) chugged the medicine as quickly as she could and shivered when she felt her stomach twist, she really felt sick now.

Her hand pressed to her mouth and she tilted her head back, shoulders quaking as she swallowed at least three times so she didn't throw it up.

Reaching out, Eddie took the spoon and downed the medicine, shaking his head and cracking his jaw as he groaned at the taste. But he would take anything if it stopped him throwing up and having the taste of acid and bile at the back of his throat.

"See, you've all been model patients." Evan perched his chin on Lois's shoulder and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek to make her smile. "I got some fluid IVs from the station earlier, like you said. Want me to hook you both up to one? I got those things too… diuretics, since none of you are keeping any fluids down."

Evan had gone to the station to have a word with Bobby, just to make sure Eddie had the rest of the week off and Evan had the next four days. While he was there, he let the team steal Nina for a cuddle and he went in the back and found some saline bags and IV lines and needles. He knew neither of his partners were managing to keep much fluids down and they had thrown up all their meals yesterday.

He needed some in case the kids got any worse too. And he found diuretics to give to all of them except Grace as she was only a toddler. It would give all of them some vitamins and essentials and keep them boosted with all the throwing up they had done between them.

"Hook us up, I feel like shit."

Evan reached his hand down and bashed Eddie's thigh, muttering a quiet 'language' and frowning playfully at him.

"Alright, whoever wants a bath shuffle off the bed and wait in the hall please. That way we have no wires getting pulled out." A bath might make the kids feel better and more inclined to sleep. And it would let Eddie and (Y/n) have a while to themselves to be on a drip without anyone wriggling around or lying on the wires and pulling them out.

Lois tiredly shuffled out of Evan's arms and flopped down to her feet but she could barely hold herself up. She shuffled into the hall while Pete gruffly followed along, dragging his feet behind him.

"Go get a bath, girlie." Eddie gently pulled Grace off his chest and leaned over to set her down on her feet. She swayed as she waddled over and took Lois's hand, clinging to her sister until Evan came back. She wanted one of her parents, she wanted love and attention and cuddles galore.

"Babe…" (Y/n) shuffled across the bed and moved her arms towards Eddie who faintly smiled and reached out for Nina. He was fine with needles whereas (Y/n) wasn't a fan and it made her feel lightheaded. When she had her bloods taken at the doctors, the boys always had to go with her as she had a tendency to faint.

(Y/n) shuffled down and tucked her face into Eddie's shoulder, kissing his bare skin as she dragged her blanket higher around her. A smile pulled at her lips when Chris moved up and snuggled himself down into the corner where (Y/n) had just been sitting so she was now between two of her boys.

Tilting his head to the side, Eddie pressed a kiss to the top of (Y/n)'s head and started to run one hand up and down Nina's back. She was well and truly off to sleep now but she could stay with them a while longer and have a cuddle before she went in her cot.

When Evan came back with the bag of goodies Hen had graceously helped him rob from the station, he sat down next to Eddie's thigh. He took his chance to cup Eddie's chin in his hand and tilt his head up for a kiss. He was overjoyed that food poisoning couldn't be contagious like a sickness bug, it meant Evan could kiss and snuggle his partners all he liked without getting ill himself.

"I look like shit," Eddie murmured with a raised brow. He knew he looked far from his best and he felt like he was on death's door, but the goofy smile and the flash of teeth made Eddie's stomach flip.

"Hm, you look good to me." Evan stole another kiss and took the chance to bite down on Eddie's lip just to make him groan. "Where'd you want it?"

A tired, lopsided smile pulled at Eddie's lips and he kept his left hand on Nina's back while he held his right hand out to Evan. If the IV was on his right hand, he could rest his arm on the edge of the sofa bed or on a cushion so none of the kids bumped into him or pulled it out by mistake. And it meant he could loop his left arm around (Y/n) or the kids if he wanted to.

Eddie closed his eyes and pressed his lips against the top of (Y/n)'s head. Breathing into her hair and focusing on the feeling of her lips pressing hollow kisses up and down his shoulder and over as much of his neck as she could reach.

He stayed still and patient while Evan swiped an anticeptic wipe across the back of his hand and poked around to find a good vein. He found one and got out a needle and cap.

"Here you go, babe." His thumb pressed down on the back of Eddie's hand over the vein and he carefully inserted the needle. He tore off two pieces of medical tape to secure it in place and attached the fluid line.

Evan took the opportunity to lean over Eddie, give him another searing kiss and place the IV bag on the back of the sofa behind the pillows. He made sure the wire wasn't tangled or crumpled and it was wide open. Being behind the pillows stopped any of the kids from playing with it or bursting it when they came back.

"Your turn," Evan spoke gently and smiled when (Y/n) placed her right hand on his thigh while her left hand stayed curled around Eddie's bicep. She kept her cheek resting on his shoulder and shuffled a bit higher so her lips and nose could brush against Eddie's neck. She didn't want to see the needle go into her skin.

She felt Evan swab the back of her hand and poke around to find a suitable vein. But the moment the needle capped into her vein, (Y/n) could feel her stomach giving an awful twist and she scrunched her nose and pushed further into Eddie.

It felt like her pulse was throbbing under every inch of her skin and her head started to pound and feel like it was building up ready to explode.

"All done-"

Eddie groaned and brought his knees up near his stomach out of shock and instinct when (Y/n)'s forehead bashed into the side of his neck. He struggled to take a proper breath and he tried to keep his eyes on Evan when he felt (Y/n) slump and loll against his left arm.

She'd fainted.

"Oh God, come here," Evan moved the IV tube around the back of (Y/n) and tucked the saline bag behind the pillows next to Eddie's one.

He slipped a hand beneath her neck and Eddie's shoulder and gently reeled her up away from Eddie so she could slump back into the pillows. Evan expected a similar reaction, especially considering she didn't do well with needles and she hadn't eaten anything which would make her more lightheaded than usual.

He gently eased her back into the den of pillows and let her head slump to the right near Eddie. She would come around in a moment.

"Look after your mum for me while I do bath time." Evan murmured as he leaned over and kissed the top of Chris's head.

Chris leaned to the right, wrapping an arm around (Y/n)'s waist and leaning his head on her arm. He grinned when Evan kissed (Y/n)'s temple, then moved to do the same to Eddie and Nina before he climbed off the bed. Three of their five kids were waiting patiently to get a bath.

And when Evan looked across at them, his smile softened like butter. Lois was swaying back and forth on her heels, trying to stay awake and upright but she looked like she was about to collapse. Pete was leaning back against the wall with an arm around his stomach and his thumb between his teeth. Then there was Grace. The toddler was sat on the floor with tired eyes and her arms stretched up in Evan's direction.

"Bathroom, troop."

He leaned down and scooped Grace up so he could sit her on his hip while Lois and Pete walked in front of him towards the bathroom. Their movements were sluggish and their feet were shuffling along behind them, they were growing tired.

It made Evan's heart soften to see Lois and Pete slump down on the bath mat and lean their heads on the edge of the bath. They looked just like they were about to fall asleep and it made him smile. He turned on the bath and let Lois add half a bottle of bubbles.

"Let's get some pjs," He spoke quietly into Grace's hair and headed into the girl's room to find them some clothes to change into.

Evan crouched down in front of the bath, pressing his knees into the bottom of the tub while he turned off the taps and nodded for Pete and Lois to climb in. He tried to unlatch Grace's arms from his neck but she held tight, tucking her face into his neck as she grumbled.

"No."

"Oh, come on girlie, you'll feel better." Evan leaned over and fought hard to undo Grace's hold over his neck that was beginning to ache. Finally, she seemed to relent and flopped her arms down into the bath, splashing bubbles up high into the air.

Grimacing, Evan pulled back and sighed. He reeled his shirt up over his head and tossed it into the wash basket. They could splash him all they wanted today and he wouldn't fuss, as long as the kids felt better and smiled.

His arms folded on the side of the bath and he perched his chin on his arms, smiling when Pete turned around and placed a wad of bubbles right on the end of his nose.

"Thanks, buddy." He mumbled softly and reached a hand down into the water to grab a fistful of bubbles and splatter them onto Pete's hair.

His eyes cast down to Grace who was sat in the centre of the bath, right in front of him and he frowned when she reached up and patted his cheek. "Shave." She whispered, causing Evan to grin despite his confusion.

"I shaved this morning, I'll have you know." He moved his hand to run along his chin and down his neck. Evan shaved every morning. He didn't like facial hair, he never tried to grow a beard because the one time he did when Lois was a toddler, she cried when she saw his beard. Since then, he always shaved.

Whereas the kids didn't seem to mind when Eddie grew out his facial hair. But they were all used to Eddie having stubble most of the time so a beard wasn't a lot different. Both men had taken to shaving every day recently.

"No, shave."

His lips curled into a frown and his eyes narrowed down on his little girl, but a quiet grumble left his lips when he realised what she meant.

Grace found a handful of bubbles and smeared them all along Evan's face, lips and down his neck until he was coughing and snorting lavender bubbles. She then dabbed her hand in the water, and very carefully started to brush her index finger through the bubbles. She was pretending to shave him.

Evan stayed still and silent, closing his eyes for a moment when grace swiped the bubbles rather close to his eyes over his cheekbones. And he tilted his head back to let her clean the bubbles from down his neck.

Her gentle touch was soft and rather precise and delicate and Evan found himself smiling brightly. He was so used to the kids messing and tracing over all his various tattoos, but this was different.

"All done." Grave dipped both her hands in the warm water and planted them down on Evan's face, patting him like she was pretending to apply cream to his face.

"Is that better, baby-cake?"

Grace nodded with a tired smile before she leaned her head forward and pressed her cheek down into his arm. She curled both hands around Evan's arm that was dangling in the water and leaned on his other arm. Her eyes fell closed and she curled up in the water as if she was lying in his arms.

Leaning down, Evan kissed the top of her head and slid both hands into the water. One arm stayed around her front while his other hand reached out to mess with the bath toys Lois was pushing around the water.

The eldest girl was laid back so the water was up to her chin and she was tossing the rubber toys back and forth, but she wasn't really bothered with them. She was too tired to play which told Evan she really was ill. And Pete wasn't much better.

He leaned over and slumped himself against Evan's free arm and closed his eyes.

"Have we all had enough?" Evan mumbled quietly, looking around the three of them who all nodded. "Alright, one… two… three." He helped each of them out and handed them a towel, but a sigh passed through his lips when he looked down at Pete.

He flopped across Evan's lap, curling up with his arms around his middle and his head on Evan's jogging bottoms. The material turned a dark shade of grey and Evan tried not to grimace at the feeling of his bottoms now sticking to his legs. He knew Pete couldn't help it, he was sick and almost asleep.

"No… no! Papa mine!" Grace tried to nudge Pete off of Evan's lap but she stopped when Evan wrapped a towel around her and moved her to stand at his side.

"No, jealous bum, you can share me."

He wrapped a towel over Pete who seemed content just to wait and lie where he was. While Lois got herself dried and dressed, Evan dried Grace and looked around for her pull-up and pyjamas.

Grace flopped down on her back and kicked her legs out at Evan with the last little bit of energy she had. A smile on her face and a squeal passing her lips when Evan caught both her ankles in one hand and tugged her closer. He slipped on her pull-up and fought to get her into her onesie when she wriggled around on her back like a worm, just to wind him up and be cheeky.

"Go find daddy." Evan murmured as he lifted Grace to her feet and sent her on her way with a kiss on her temple.

She followed Lois out the bathroom, both respectively shouting for (Y/n) and Eddie.

"Pete… and you're asleep."

With his hands beneath Pete's arms, he carefully shuffled Pete off his lap and onto the bath mat in front of him. He dried him off and easily got him into his pyjamas while Pete barely turned his head or made a sound.

"I guess you're mine this afternoon buddy, hm?" Evan carefully lifted Pete up and settled him down on his chest with his face tucked into Evan's neck. He smoothed his hand up and down Pete's back as he walked down the hall and back into the living room towards the rest of his family.

A burning smile flooded Evan's face when he looked over them all. Eddie still had Nina curled up on his chest, but he now had Grace under his right arm and she had one hand on Nina's back as if she was soothing the youngest girl to sleep. (Y/n) had Lois curled up between her legs and Chris still attached to her left side.

Moving over, Evan sat down next to Chris and did his best to wedge himself into the tiny space at the end between Chris and the arm of the sofa. He kept Pete curled up on his chest and draped a blanket around them both.

"I think I'm rather good at playing doctor, don't you?"

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

As per usual, info under the cut <3

IM BACK BITCHES!!!

Alright, here's the design stuff:

I wanted to go for kind of a Lois Lane vibe, including the way she gets all the way up in business she should not be up in. At the same time I wanted to bring the super cutesy gothic lolita style in at least a little. So I ended up going with a poofy short jumpsuit with bows and teddy bears. I would love to make a specific thank you to @themooncallsyou for suggesting I look at the Moschino 2022 spring line for inspiration, it ended up having a very heavy impact on the final design.

I tried to lean into the investigative part of investigative reporter, so that's what the heavy coat is about. I thought adding that classic detective silhouette would be a nice final touch. Plus, I think Blondie likes the drama of the coat flying behind her as she's chasing down a lead. It makes her feel very cool.

Alright, so her original pet is a bear cub named Grizz but I have. Several problems with that. The main one is that it's not clear what the difference between Grizz and the actual sentient bears and her story is. There is never any differentiation between them. It's a Goofy-Pluto situation. Like it doesn't need to be explained, but the minute you start thinking about it too hard it gets weird real fast.

Anyways say hello to Honey the magpie!! Magpies are great mimics and lovers of shiny things, so I thought one would be a perfect fit for Blondie. She repeats bits of gossip and steals little trinkets and clues to help Blondie with whatever case she's on. Honey is where Blondie gets her infinite supply of bobby pins. Her scale is a little off, I don't think magpies are actually that big, but I still think she's cute so I'm not changing it now lol.

Now for character stuff:

Honestly I'm not really changing anything as much as I am exploring what's already there. I think Blondie has the potential to be really interesting, because she's unique within the class system of the school. She's kind of the inverse of Raven status-wise. Raven was born to royalty, but because her mom is the Evil Queen she's actually considered a commoner by society. Blondie was born to a wealthy commoner family, but her fear of rejection leads her to exaggerate the prestige of her lineage. Everyone sort of knows that she's not a Princess but she's so desperate to keep up the image of royalty that no one knows where she actually lands. Most of the royals assume her parents are Lord and Lady or Duke and Duchess or something. In reality they don't have any noble title, and Blondie is very insecure about that.

Blondie isn't so much ashamed of her family as she is terrified of exclusion and rejection. Her standing in society is the one major thing that makes her different from all the other royals, but she has major anxieties that she's always on thin ice. In her mind she's permanently one wrong step from total ostracization.

On a happier note, she does have a genuine passion for journalism! She considers her news blog/podcast practice for her future career. She starts out discussing school drama and gossip, but tries to stay a neutral third party. That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. As the story goes on she starts reporting on more political and social topics beyond the boundaries of the school (and therefore becomes one of Milton Grimms worst nightmares). She is really, really, really good at getting into shit people do not want her to get into. She's got her eyes on prize and good luck stopping her