#bobby + mary parallels

[shallowseeker]

Bobby Singer needs to be in #SPNwin.

Like, seriously, he’s one of The Most Interesting Characters. He’ll always be a main to me, because he’s not straightforward.

He’s got that warring, contrasting nature. That seesaw-soldier thing. He’s complicated and loving and and yet…he screws up royally. He does what he thinks is right, is necessary.

He can be hot and cold and sweet and vengeful and respectful and encouraging, and then he goes and throws down these misogynistic little digs. Every feminine thing gets spit on; turns into a barb. And yet it’s not a barb. The teasing is somehow warm n’ homey n’ familiar. You decode its true meaning.

And…he’ll break the mold with soap operas and pedicures. He’ll cook for you in his little kitchen. He can spit with words, but accepts with his actions.

He goes from love, “do you value yourself so little?” to, scoffing, letting you down at your most vulnerable moment: “you’re not a person.” (Because sometimes, he thinks tough love will carry you through and help you survive.) He a rocky foundation but he’s a foundation.

That’s Bobby!

[were-wolverine]

something something dick grayson and dean winchester both have parents named mary & john and had to raise a younger brother and have a surrogate father whose name starts with ‘B’ and have the weight of the world on their shoulders and were raised as child soldiers and-

[hexedwinchester]

Early seasons of SPN are superior

so I'm re-watching Supernatural (I'm always re-watching SPN, don't mind me) and I realised why the early seasons are so freakin good whereas the laters ones are a complete mess...

Horror was the core theme of Supernatural (yes, I'm not discarding the brothers' drama, I'll get to it in a minute). These beautiful scare tactics that they employed were amazing: the crib mobile toy rotating, shadows moving out of the corner of the eyes, toys going off, subtle bloody Mary reflections in the mirror, creepy skulls dug from the ground, the ghosts flickering. Hell yea they nailed 'Scary just got sexy' with these.

Don't get me started on the background music. Whimsical music crescendo, building up the anticipation. The rock music blaring through the Impala. What happened to the cool ass music in the later seasons? They just played this weird, sad tune like someone's blowing raspberries to show grief and that's it!

Monster of the week theme and the lores/legends in early seasons were much, much better than S12's Foundry or the later season episode with bizarre tentacle porn thingy (you know which one I'm talking about). It just didn't feel the same. The stories were poorly written and even more poorly executed.

Early seasons used to be purely about Sam and Dean (as it should have been throughout) Them against the world, heaven and hell. No dumbass angel lurking in the background like a pathetic third wheel. No king of hell bitching about his sad childhood for two whole seasons. No Soccer mom half assing their way into hunting.

Foreshadowing was done so beautifully! Everytime I re-watch the early seasons I find a few bits that connects to something that happened initially in say S1-2. The parallels are done beautifully and writing is good, and I mean 'I wanna use this quote as a wallpaper' good.

The struggle for the boys was real. They had to do their own research, save their own asses, stitch their wounds, pop their dislocated shoulders back in the place. Later seasons? Bunker has answer to everything, angel healing wounds with a flash of light, Lucifer bringing Sam back from the dead without asking for anything (and no, taking him to Jack is not a good enough bargain), Jack healing wounds or whatever. Where is the damn struggle?! Where is the hero's journey?!

I miss the beautiful, colourful motel rooms that had its own personality. I HATE the bunker (yes I know a lot of people love it because Dean has a good shower, they have a home etc, etc) but no! Bunker is lame and boring and monotonous. There isn't a single thing I like about it. Gimme back my motel rooms with the sunburst mirror!

Story arc or lack thereof from S12 onwards. The main plot just got duller and duller from S12 onward and it felt like the writers got lazy and stopped putting efforts. There was no build up and the plot felt forced. The main arcs didn't feel exciting enough. BMoL and Kelly's pregnancy: the who and why? Jack: predictable. Other Micheal and Micheal Dean: meh, next! God as the big bad: interesting but I don't think they have it in them to execute this correctly.

Irrelevant/Unnecessary characters and their mini plots. S1-5 focuses purely on the brothers and that's what I'm here. I don't care how and why an idiot angel opened purgatory. It sounded more like a dull spin off plot than main story arc. I don't care about prophets and their lives (yeah Kevin is in Advance Placement, what am I to do with that?). I don't care about the different angel garrisons at war (again a plot for a lame spin off). I don't care about Crowley, his son or his relationship with Rowena. Tell me how this affects the boys. If it doesn't, please let's move on. Whatever was going on with Cole Trenton was pointless. I don't care about Mary and her hunting escapades with BMoL. I don't care about Kelly's pregnancy. The multi-universe and all characters they vomited back in the show with this. Not needed! Let Charlie, Gabriel and Bobby's memory rest in peace. Nick's killer storyline and wayward sisters. Enough said. Empty and the deal with Cas and Meg 2.0? Boring! Billy playing the bad cop, the whole death's library? Poorly executed and it turned into a bowl of cold spaghetti. In the end, the focus moved from the boys to useless characters and mini plots. Fuck that! Supernatural is about Sam and Dean and that's about it.

The direction. Later seasons lack the beauty of scenic shots of the landscape, close on up the boys' faces, the lights hitting their faces to show their beauty. Camera angles and slow panning shots. I miss the beauty that were the early seasons.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buddie: 4x13 Recap in preparation for 7x9 (other ships included too)

Ok... I'm intrigued for the last two episodes now after reading the journalists' commentary who've previewed the episode. MG said 7x9 and 7x10 should have been billed as a two part finale and the GIF he used to describe it in one word was "Pain". Also, KP said it seems like they're picking up "old threads" that weren't properly explored. Well... I REMEMBER THERE'S A LOT THAT WASN'T EXPLORED BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE 👀 (more on them below).

I've been thinking about 4x13 and the whereabouts of all the 'ships during that episode to parallel them with 7x9 and here goes. (Buddie is last just like they were at the end of 4x13).

Bathena

4x13 - Bobby and Athena were on the outs because in 4x12, Athena mentioned after she was attacked by Jeffrey in 3x17, she was offered early retirement but she turned it down. She never told Bobby about it. They ARGUED for the first time in 4x13 and they were still arguing when Hen called Bobby in 4x14 to tell him Eddie had been shot.

7x9 - Bobby's struggling with his past and Athena's worried about him just like she was worried in 4x13 that he was hiding something from her. It's possible from the 7x9 sneak peek that Bobby might be having delusions of someone being after him.

Henren

4x13 - Toni (Hen's mother) got sick and she fainted. Hen's medical school classmates helped her figure out what was wrong with her. After she was admitted to the hospital, Toni told Hen, the medical field needed more African American doctors.

7x9 - Hen and Karen have a foster child named Mara. Reminder, they had just given Nia back to her mother earlier in season 4 and Hen struggled with it because she didn't want her to go back to Evangeline.

Madney

4x13 - Maddie was struggling with PPD and she was going through it. She was still going to work but Chimney wasn't aware of how much she was struggling until she told him. Maddie quit her job in 4x14 and in 7x7 she told Amir she used to be a nurse.

After 7x6, Madney is in a happy place so it's unclear what, if anything, they could be struggling with in 7x9.

Buddie

4x13 - Buck and Eddie’s storylines were the most intense, the most intertwined and the biggest. Reminder, Eddie didn't breakup with AF after Carla told him to follow his heart and not Chris'.

AF found out Charlie's mother was swindling people out of their money which led to Eddie figuring out she was poisoning him.

He told Buck and Chimney about it and Buck didn't even put on his uniform, he just left with Eddie.

Captain Jeshan Mehta and the 133 were dispatched to the call and Buck drove the Batallion SUV to the scene with Eddie in the passenger's seat.

Then the 3 minutes and 17 seconds that changed everything. It showed the audience that Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if they missed it, they should rewatch the episode.

Eddie reached for Buck and in 4x14, he asked him if he was hurt.

7x9 - Eddie didn't breakup with Maris*l in 7x5 like he should have the same way he didn't breakup with AF in 4x13 like he should have.

The 133 will be on a scene in 7x9 or 7x10 and it'll be interesting to see if Captain Mehta will be there too.

Also, Eddie’s either having delusions that the woman he met either looks like Shannon or he thinks she does. This parallel with Bobby appears to be mental instead of physical this time, so if history is about to repeat itself, then it's likely Bobby and Eddie could both be suffering from delusions. Reminder, Bathena and Buddie ALWAYS PARALLEL EACH OTHER.

If TM is really about to redo a scene for Buck and Eddie that will rival the shooting and explore EVERYTHING THE F*X NETWORK WOULDN'T LET HIM DO WITH BUCK AND EDDIE THREE YEARS AGO THEN... THIS IS ABOUT TO BE EPIC!

IYKYK Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if Eddie gets hurt again, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO SEE IT THIS TIME INCLUDING T*MMY, HELENA, RAMON AND THE 118.

The will was revealed in 4x14 and maybe it's meaning will be explored in 7x10 along with the reason why Eddie waited a whole year to tell Buck about it. It's possible it will come into play again before the end of the season, especially if Eddie's badly injured this time and the Diaz parents show up. If Helena thinks she's taking Chris to El Paso with them, she'll be WRONG because Buck’s his legal guardian.

Reminder, the 133 was there the last time but this time they'll be with their found family and Buck can't hide his feelings for Eddie, like EVER especially when he's injured or hurt.

In 7x6, the foreshadowing was there when he thought Eddie was dead while he was lying in the bathtub.

These are pictures of Buck’s face whenever Eddie’s hurt.

T*mmy doesn't have a chance with Buck because Buck and Eddie gave each other their hearts a long time ago and I can't wait until T*mmy sees it with his own eyes so he'll be gone. He won't be able to pretend Buck was trying to get his attention anymore because Buck’s going to go nuts if Eddie's hurt again. His heart will be on full display and there won't be any denying who he loves.

Buck loves Eddie Diaz and Eddie loves Evan Buckley!

I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

[kipperlillyclerickiller]

Exploring Unconventional Bad Kid/Ratgrinder Parallels

Obviously, when Brennan introduced the Ratgrinders in FHJY, some clear parallels in class composition popped up. Every member of the Bad Kids has a corresponding Ratgrinder who shares their general build/role in the party and (presumably) some of their psychological issues as well. But when I was rotating the characters in my mind, as one does, I realized that there were some other interesting character foils to be pointed out. I've listed them below under the read more, along with more detailed thoughts on what aspects of the characters are highlighted with each comparison.

Also I spent way too much time working on this, so I'm including a DNI banner on here (made by @kipperlillyforpresident, who also graciously let me bounce ideas off in the DMs)

Kipperlilly Copperkettle/Gorgug Thistlespring: the first parallel that i came up with. they both have issues around rage that are belied by their physical appearance, with klck being a tiny halfling who experiences an excessive amount of rage that doesn't "benefit" her adventuring-wise as she's a rogue, while on the hand, gorgug is a half-orc who started out as a barbarian in part because it is what he's physically predisposed to be, despite actually having an extremely gentle personality, only transitioning to artificer in his junior year. both have relatively normal middle-class backgrounds but still have issues; klck's anger issues regarding not having a tragic backstory are well-documented, but gorgug also has baggage that made him minimize his presence at the beginning of his high school career, stemming from growing up in a household where rage wasn't really considered at all bc it's an emotion so antithetical to the thistlesprings' way of existence (to be clear, i think the thistlesprings are great parents; it's just that they didn't really know how to address this aspect of gorgug's development)

Ruben Hopclap/Fabian Seacaster: black boys showing off the sensitive side of masculinity. last episode established that the ratgrinders are living in ruben's mansion, which he presumably bought with his rockstar money and lives in without any parental figures, meaning that he and fabian have similar living situations and probably similar issues with trying to avoid loneliness that result in attention-seeking behavior (ruben's music career and fabian's max legend status). finally, the turncoat potential: fabian has admitted to listening to ruben's music and beefed with gertie bladeshield against the rest of the bad kids. meanwhile, ruben's experiencing some sort of guilt/reluctance with the ratgrinders' plan as expressed through his interactions w/ wanda childa. i believe they can bridge the bad kid/ratgrinder divide and i want them to be friends sooo bad

Ivy Embra/Fig Faeth: most straightforward similarity is their sylvan elf heritage, but i think that the similarity that matters the most would be their image/self-portrayal, with ivy being a sort of mean girl with an edge, similar to the type of person that fig wanted to portray herself as in freshman year (even though fig is actually much more soft-hearted/sentimental). this comparison is honestly more of a what-could-be scenario that sheds light on potential alternate facets of fig's story bc 1) ivy being an elven ranger is pretty similar to sandra lynn but has the edgy persona fig only took on after she found out about her tiefling heritage and 2) we have literally no idea what's going on with ivy's emotional landscape. still, this comparison compels me, especially in light of finding out how porter and jace groomed the ratgrinders, and the way that sandra lynn got used by bobby dawn when he was an adventurer. it's like a dark mirror of what could have happened to fig if the circumstances were worse (and the fact that bobby dawn is a teacher in aguefort rn and was also collaborating with porter to an extent.... the cycles are cycling!!)

Mary-Ann Skuttle/Riz Gukgak: just little guys. specifically smaller races often stereotyped as villainous and acting in the service of the party rather than for themselves, though while we see that riz acts for the party out of genuine passion, mary-ann seems to be more apathetic. both are disconnected from regular teenage social norms, generally unbothered/unaware of looking "uncool", and more focused on their personal interests, as mary-ann has her plushies and riz has his mysteries (and his business cards from freshman year lol). even when riz joined all the school clubs this year, he did it for the sake of kristen's campaign/getting scholarship money to help his mom more than for his own reputation. another prominent similarity is a heavy compartmentalization of emotion: we don't really know what's going on with mary-ann but she hasn't shown any emotion even when trying out for bloodrush and seems remarkably unbothered for someone who's been presumably been shatter-starred. riz, in contrast, has a lot of emotions/anxieties but channels them into mystery solving and other activities, an approach encapsulated by the baron quote from fhsy: "You love the truth. You seek it so much that you cut your hands upon the inside of crystals. But, you use deception to protect yourself from something you fear." riz also isn't very forthcoming with his emotional state, evading questions from his mom and Jawbone, as well as his friends. His initial drive to solve mysteries stemmed from the emotion from his father's death, but iirc he didn't even tell the bad kids about how pok died until sophomore. And now, he's grinding in school/extracurriculars for scholarships to avoid considering the possibility of the bad kids splitting up

Buddy Dawn/Adaine Abernant: catty and blonde. (jk) both of them feel anger prominently and express it in their spellcasting (versus a more martial class), but in very different ways. adaine's whole arc throughout freshman and sophomore year has been about accepting that she has the right to be angry about the way that her parents abused her, and that her anger can be a source of power in her spellcasting; contrast the way she brained doreen with the ladle in the first battle with the corn cutie bc she didn't know what to do versus later battles in sophomore and junior year when she's learned adaine's furious fist. on the other hand, buddy uses his cleric spellcasting as a healer in order to sublimate discomforting feelings and avoid dealing with the idea of agency and consequences of emotions like anger. his whole conversation with kristen is basically him going "i don't feel anger because i repress it so deeply and i don't engage in violence, just help other people kill because that is helio's will. my hands are clean tho :)" (he is so funny) additionally, adaine has found a support system in her adventuring party, as well as jawbone and ayda, while buddy is the odd one out in the ratgrinders as lucy's replacement, isolated from preexisting support systems as he has just moved from highcourt and subsequently becoming so very vulnerable to getting shatterstarred

Oisin Hakinvar/Kristen Applebees: idk these are the only guys i have left. ok my original idea was they both have plot-relevance related to adaine's summons, with oisin hijacking adaine's dust mephits to tamper with the cloud rider engine and whatever the fuck is gonna go on with K2 in the next episodes. also have a narrative presence defined in part by the women they're crushing on, with kristen dealing with her attraction to tracker/gertie/women in general throughout all the campaigns and oisin being introduced as seemingly flustered by adaine's attention. but honestly i think the strongest parallel is that they're both haters (kristen calling klck "4dogs" and oisin calling buddy dawn "hayseed", fight!)

and of course, how could I forget...

Lucy Frostblade/Gilear Faeth: the Chosen Ones. both have plot relevance and relation to Ankarna through their ancestry. both just have a melancholy vibe. ppl from mountainous cultures often live off dairy products... i'm gonna extrapolate and assume that lucy loved blueberry yogurt

[winchester-reload]

I have a few thoughts about the Winchesters finale, and though I wasn’t gonna weigh in on this, it turns out I needed to write this down to get it out of my head, so here we go.

I understand that Misha was approached to be included on the show and that there was a “scheduling conflict” that included multiple conversations with Jensen. Here’s my interpretation of that: 

I believe Cas was supposed to make a cameo in episode 13 to tee up the confession resolution—this was always the episode where they were going to crack open the “surprise twist” even before learning they would only get 13 episodes total. In the original scenario, episode 13 would have been the hellatus episode rather than a finale, leaving room for everything to come to a head with episode 22 instead. It’s then they would have given us the actual Dean and Cas reunion. This would have wrapped both stories nicely with each group going off into their own respective sunsets—their own happy endings, while still leaving all the room for the new crew to explore more seasons; all along, we see, The Winchesters was about Dean and Cas as much as it was about Mary and John.

When they didn’t get the back half of the season picked up, I assume they feared it would be more dangerous to show a Cas cameo without getting to address the confession, so Misha likely opted to be left out instead. With the only hint to Cas being Dean’s line that he was looking for his family when he found the Akrida, then directly drawing the parallel that Jack and Bobby were “family.” The core crew for Dean has always been Bobby, Sam, Jack, AND Cas. And he wasn’t looking for Sam because he was still on earth. So who’s left? You might be compelled to believe he was window shopping AU versions of his parents, but he confirms he ran into the Akrida in this world and then sought to interfere with the order by approaching John in an effort to prevent it from spreading to Sam's world. (Why Cas would be AU hopping, idk. The boy is really afraid of being shot down, I guess.)

It goes far to explain the vast narrative parallels we saw reflected in the Monster Club crew if it was intended as a setup for the confession payoff. It honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense otherwise. There’s no reason these people should be living Dean's experiences and regrets every episode unless the writers wanted the viewer to be thinking about the lessons and resolutions in how they relate to Dean too.

Additionally, as this has been a largely uncontested take, this is Jensen's well-funded fanfic come to life. Complete with the embracing of many of our favorite fanfic tropes and emphasized by Dean’s own words throughout the season. Because this is an obvious embrace of that “write your own story” fan side, I believe the reason Dean couldn’t even say Cas’ name in the episode is because they were going to change the spelling from “Cass” as it was in the show proper to the fan-adopted (and more accurate) spelling of “Cas,” which would have appeared in the subtitles and later the script pages.  And even that little thing right there would have been a huge giveaway to the whole game. And a very dangerous thing to do if there wasn’t going to be enough time for follow-through. 

But the truth is, this isn’t a game for many people, and the harm that can be caused by good intentions is just as real. It also begs the question: why should this be so difficult? The answer is it’s not. Edging forever isn’t fun. It’s torture. I understand there’s an art to storytelling, but your audience is weary, and trust has been violated too many times. Even still, the flip side of that coin is honest to god respect for DeanCas endgame means taking the story and the reveal seriously. It’s a tightrope walk. And one that Robbie somehow managed to keep balanced after the finale, without it falling either way.  Also we also need to consider the possibility that Jensen did pitch a full-on destiel love story spin-off but got shot down, opting to couch it in a more CW-branded world instead. He’s mentioned over half a dozen pitches were rejected. It's up to you whether you want to give him the benefit of the doubt on that.

But, I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t know that we will ever get that resolution we crave. Even Robbie confirmed The Winchesters were always meant to “go it alone” after the first season. It’s hard to imagine Dean popping in there to fuck around again after that handoff. But the dude is clearly a very restless sea-faring*, swoopy-haired mofo right now, so I’ll leave that one up to the SPN multiverse and the new Mr. Superwholock’s magical universe-traveling impala. (This show used to be about what again? *looks at notes*.) And FWIW, if they do get green-lit for a whole second season or are allowed to move networks, I believe a good-faith effort will be made to tie the narrative parallels we saw in season one to some real Dean and Cas resolution. If there gets to be a world where John *might* not turn into an abusive dick, then this possibility has to be true too.

For the record, I enjoyed The Winchesters, all the new characters, and the doors the finale opened for the possibility of more. I would have been fine half-watching it with no promises, empty head no thoughts, but I got my clown** suit on again, and though I mostly kept quiet, unlike last time, I did regrettably manage to drag a few friends down with me yet again.  Though the spec sessions were epic, and we did get some art out of it—it still rocks the boat when the base level expectations were only 1. Dean alive, and 2. seeing Cas again. 

But for anyone, like me, upset by the (likely unintentional) Cas-baiting or anyone still reeling about why this stuff can hit so hard, here’s an interesting article about the way our brains respond to fictional characters. Tl;dr: There’s nothing wrong with you. This is science. And while you’re at it, take a look at this article about the very real power of disenfranchised grief over character loss.

Ramble on, fam. And take care of yourselves.

<3 Jackie

*Um hi he appears as a sailor? Literally, on a show with a story Dean is writing whose audience is looking for a resolution to a conversation between two people who’re famously the “most shipped” characters of all time? That’s not an accident. That’s intentional. And it’s another reason why there might be a bitter taste in your mouth. These nods came without resolution, so it still feels dirty, despite the brilliant Easter egg.

**I hesitate to say “clown” here because the lesson on episode 12 was that the clowns were the ones who chose a self-induced limbo rather than face some personal hard revelations. That sounds more like a certain closeted character than it does the people cheering him on, and that felt like an intentional nod too.

***obviously, this is my own rambling spec as I try to reorder my thoughts in the wake of the finale.

[deancasforcutie]

While we’re I’llJustWaitHereThen.mp3 for Act Two of The Winchesters -or rather thee reboot, which should be known for the extra high bar it’s gained this year- I’d like us to round off 2023 considering a song choice from the finale I haven’t seen discussed, but illuminates Dean’s path going forward.

The moment Dean, Jack, Bobby, and Baby disappear, “One of These Things First” by Nick Drake plays. For the curious, Nick Drake is ingrained in the cultural consciousness as a precursor to the likes of Kurt Cobain and Elliott Smith for his musical talent, melancholic lyrics drawn from a troubled life, and (at 26, one year too young for the original 27 Club of Jimi Janis Jim Morrison) untimely tragic death.

Such allusions seem all too pertinent to our not-so-Mystery Man who’d also sooner burn out than fade away, huh? But first and foremost, “One of These Things First” here evokes the multiverse reveal - playing over scenes of Lata helping restore Ada’s soul and Mary and Samuel parting. The characters could be any number of things, but as Mary says of her possible alternate selves, “I’m gonna make my own”; with the meta knowledge that Dean is “picking the music” non-diegetically, this track’s relevance to his own life (and death) becomes apparent.

I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook A real live lover, could have been a book

From the start we see well-chosen lyrics for thee episode of Dean “Hello Sailor” Winchester; it goes without saying, here and in the series’ deafeningly loud negative space, how Dean’s desire to be “a real live lover” drives his search for happy endings in this Supernatural Romance. Genius.com notes that “a book” in Nick Drake’s metaphor means “someone who spent their time gaining knowledge about the world”; leaving them his own book, evidently a record of Supernatural’s main events and likely intended as a setup for revelations about his postseries shenanigans, Dean becomes their absent guide opposite John’s original series role through his journal.

I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock

Following lyrics about metaphorical objects also evoke Dean’s role as a guide - but given his view that “I think I did” find a model for his found family’s happiness in them, it goes both ways (and so does he).

I could be here and now I would be, I should be, but how?

These last few lyrics played in the episode call to mind the final undying core of Dean’s self-doubt: his inability to move on, like so many restless spirits parallel him. Dean’s sensation that he is not “here and now,” being unstuck in time and lamenting that he’s “already dead,” highlights his distance from the lead characters and their sense of closure - as does his use of the James Hetfield alias as a false name, dodging the central question of Who You Are. For all his heroism, Dean’s role as the central mystery never fully solved implicates him as the haunting force derailing another story into his own as much as any reality-warping trauma parasites.

Minding all these exhortations to mind the gap, it’s absolutely relevant that the episode omits a second verse centering on romantic longings. (It wouldn’t be the first time - “So on your woman and your child/You release your bitterness,” anyone?)

I could have been your pillar, could have been your door I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more I could have been your statue, could have been your friend A whole long lifetime could have been the end

Mary and Samuel’s exchange (“Be safe out there” “I love you too, kiddo”) continues the theme of Just Saying It before any goodbye - acknowledging you can say “I love you” without saying it and be understood. But apropos of everything, the romantic pair never exchanges what they promise they will on reuniting - at once begging the same question as Dean’s aborted love confession(s) to Cas (indicting the heteronormative double standard that makes the answer “obvious” here) and keeping their promise of no goodbyes, meaning “Ramble On” with its tale of a romantic reunion can only refer to one yet to come.

So with Dean left to learn that death is no goodbye for him either, The Winchesters reaffirms Supernatural’s humanistic heart: the conviction that -whether for great artists we romanticize or fictional characters representing our values- we need not mythologize and bemoan death as “robbing” the world of someone’s promise at the expense of affirming the intrinsically worthy human life as they are now and forever (we will all live forever no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be). A life cut tragically short was still a life worth living, and its legacy one worth carrying on. And I can think of no truth more apt from the series cut short at 13 traxx we will nevertheless replay and remix and resonate with for years to come.

As we ramble on to future installments, I reiterate: “If you had the chance to do it all over again, would you?” “I followed my heart. I don’t think that’s ever a mistake.”

[charcubed]

Hi. I tend to forget that tumblr exists and just shout all my thoughts about The Winchesters on Twitter @CharCubed, which is a problem, but for once in my life I'm posting something here!

Here are some broad Thoughts on where I've landed of what this season 1 finale of The Winchesters offered–

• I very much want season 2 of this show SO badly. I want to see how they all continue to build their lives now that we know tragedy need not be their end! THIS IS THE HEALING SHOW. That whole cast gets to write their own story... "the only thing that's worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends" is no longer the case, as Carlos already said... and Dean helped to free them? That fucks.

• In regards to those possibilities: now that Dean would no longer be framing the prequel as a story he's telling, it frees the prequel up to no longer be doubling as Dean's story through revealing mirroring–which is very much what it's been doing for 12 episodes. Now the monster plots and the storylines for those characters in The Winchesters can also be diversified, so every episode no longer has to include, for example... [checks notes] a situation where a character is literally and/or metaphorically trapped and has to confront their trauma, break cycles of violence, and speak truths to be freed. It's been very Loud and very much Like This Constantly because it's Dean's story, but now it won't have to be anymore, which is an interesting thing to contemplate! (To be clear, for those unaware of my history of yelling about this show: I love that it was Like This. This show is fucking genius.)

• Initially, this finale had some alarm bells pinging in my brain but then I parsed the Reasons for those things. Mary told John she had "Something to say," right? And then she never says it. That's a Chekhov's gun that's never fired and it's of course paralleling how Dean has "something to say" to Cas too. Them not speaking that truth is a problem. In addition, we also got a montage eerily akin to the 15x19 one. But these callbacks / parallels to s15 all loudly indicate something very specific: The Winchesters is an unfinished story, and this finale (like the rest of this show) is mirroring and revealing truths about the prime narrative of SPN. For one thing, with the prequel they originally expected to have 22 or so episodes and ended up having 13 to work with. For another... this is the START of their story, not the end. So along those lines, what can we deduce about the end of season 15? (Hint: that finale is not an ending either.)

• Speaking of which: We learn that everything Dean was just doing takes place in the ~heavenly~ time period before Sam “dies." This all functionally happened right after Dean died as he drove down that road. He is restless, unmoored, grieving, and–this is key–considers his "ending" to be an unhappy happy one. He's fucking around and finding out, looking for and unpacking (through his narration) what he needs and wants for HIS happy ending to look like. He found out about the Akrida being a failsafe from Chuck and couldn't resist meddling to save everyone. It's also worth noting that Dean says to Jack something like, "If you have to kick me out of Heaven then that's fine." Between the lines is the thought of "please kick me out of Heaven, I'm causing problems because I'm grieving and I'm not done, I don't want this 'peace' but would rather have freedom." That in itself is a massive subversion of the SPN finale, to say nothing of the previous 12 episodes we've received.

Anyway. So in terms of Dean's story, we now know that this all takes place smack in the middle of 15x20 timeline-wise. This checks out because Bobby's presence connects to him being the only one we saw in 15x20. And... what I personally consider to be Jack's incredibly fucked up or ~potentially taken over by Chuck~ vibes are, in that sense, consistent with 15x19 as well. (I'm so sorry but please let me drop this cursed "Alex Calvert playing Chuck" joke by Jensen from August 2022 which haunts me.)

So: nothing about the concept that @chuckwon at the end of season 15 has been confirmed or denied in canon at this point. The idea that Chuck LOST, as Dean says here, is simply what Dean may still be thinking (which makes sense). But nothing has fundamentally changed about the state of how season 15 left things in the prime narrative yet... largely because that's not what this story is / was about.

In terms of what this finale presented to us, I think "Chuck won" potential was all deliberately left open. And I continue to Call Bullshit on the finale accordingly. A Chuck won plot line COULD be used in a future sequel to great affect, or it could NOT be used in a future sequel. That will be totally up to the future authors / team behind that potential sequel to see what story they choose to tell, and where it all may or may not go. But until then (on that front) right now it's the same shit, different show, and deliberately literally nothing about that potential has changed.

• I LOVE all of the above now that I've parsed it all in my brain. It makes perfect sense. Much like we were never going see the gay angel pop up in this show and kiss Dean (with apologies to anyone who somehow thought otherwise?)... leaving other things open like this is fantastic and the objectively correct call. Dean's story is HIS story to be furthered elsewhere, whereas this show belonged and continues to belong to its cast of characters who must take center stage. But through this story within a story narrated by Dean himself, we learned a hell of a lot about his state of mind as it actively stands in 15x20. Or more accurately: the entire show reinforces and reiterates comprehensively and repeatedly that the SPN finale was wrong and bad and not the end of the story at all, and now canonically and openly and in no uncertain terms that that's how Dean feels too.

• AND THUS: season 1 of The Winchesters works as deeply clever and layered commentary on Supernatural's ending and presents the stepping stone for a sequel continuation for Dean and his family. It's also the beginning of a new chapter with endless potential for The Winchesters' cast of characters who are not tied to fate or main timeline.

I fucking love it here.

Truly, madly, deeply: ALL HAIL ROBBIE THOMPSON.

And seriously, I really hope we get a season 2 because I adore all of the prequel's characters on their own merit and I want to see what their story can become :')

[twobluecows]

Supernatural “Heart of the Dragon” by Keith R.A. DeCandido

This is the second installment of my reviews of the Supernatural novel series, here is the first.

"Heart of the Dragon" is the fourth book in the series, and takes place shortly after season fives episode Changing Channels. (there is a historians note in the beginning of the book.)

Rating: 3/5 (getting better!)

This story follows another ghost murder cycle, this time it is every 20 years and takes place in Chinatown, San Francisco. We follow Sam and Dean in 2009, John in 1989, and Samuel, Deanna, and Mary Campbell in 1969 as everyone tries to get rid of the ghost and demon on the same hunt.

First things first, this book has some insanely racist shit through (mainly) the first third of the book, and it nearly pushed me to DNF when I first began. The author consistently uses dated slurs for Chinese and Japanese Americans throughout making the story overall plain awful and difficult to read. This book is well written and interesting in other respects, and it is great in regards to it being a story about Supernatural. If you’re going to read it be careful and know what you’re getting into. That all being said, it is impossible to ignore the racist bullshit so I’m docking two points.

Other than that, this story caught me off guard with how well it handled the Campbells and John's perspectives. In the main SPN canon we don't know much about Deanna, other than she was just kind of there, in this story she is fleshed out more and is really a badass. Samuel and John are paralleled a lot between their two perspectives, both being generally bad fathers who raised their children in constant danger. In the 1989 sections we also get a glimpse of Bobby caring for a young Dean and Sam, which made me very teary-eyed. Oh, and bonus points for Cas appearances, while they were few and far between I enjoyed them.

Overall this story was a great dive into characters we didn't see much of in the main series, and an expansion of what we already knew about John's A+ parenting. If you decide to read this book precede with caution, as mentioned before it comes with a heaping of racist BS in the beginning.

Here are some quotes from the story that I want to highlight:

2 books done. . . 15 more to go. . . (Btw I’m on spring break so I have been doing nothing but reading and petting my dog, so on to the next one!)

Oh, and Shortie tried to eat this one too.

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

I can’t believe it took me so long to watch “The Winchesters” but now that I did I am NOT OKAY😭 I only started watching cause I wanted to hear Dean’s voice one more time, in a new situation and I immediately fell in love with every single character🥺

But also there are so many things that scramble my brain PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME ANOUT THIS!!

1. They SERIOUSLY used a watergun filled with holy water?! Jensen knows THE POST TM!

2. They made a HOLY WATER HAIRFLIP?!😭

3. They made a main character VERY CANONICALLY BI!!!

4. I did SO NOT expect any actors from spn to have an appearance and I literally squealed with joy every time someone new appeared I mean first the trickster, then Rowena and then Dean actually has a bigger scene and BOBBY and ofc Jack?!😭

5. They literally gave spn a new spin on that HORRIBLE end and I love that they mention that Jack has all that power and used it to give earth free will and restore everything again.

6. The “it’s time to get to the ‘there’ll be peace when you are done’” comment?!😭😭😭 I am so not okay cause YES DEAN GET SOME PEACE but also how Jensen used EVERY opportunity to reference meaningful spn things😭😭😭

7. I am not okay with Cas not being mentioned, obviously Jack must have gotten him back, why not throw in a tiny half sentence that says he’s back and they’re still besties (yeah we all know they’re husbands but if that’s too difficult to get in there cause of stupid networks or whatevs at least don’t erase him!!)💚💙😭

8. I am SO NOT OKAY with the show being canceled can we please just get it back?! I mean besides needing closure and a happy ending for Dean AND Cas, it’s so comforting to watch adventures out of this world again, even without the original characters. I will never feel as strong about the new characters cause NOTHING could ever come close to what Dean and Cas make me feel but I really love the new cast🥺

9. Also seeing baby again🥺

10. The fact that they changed the whole story of how John became a hunter but did make it still work and fit into the supernatural universe cause it’s just a different world. (Also I really like this version of John)

11. How John and Mary literally act like Dean and Cas like the parallels😭💙💚

12. Also the fact that this show made me ONCE AGAIN log into this hellhole after like 2 years of being out of here. All just because I cannot cope with spn and I need to talk to people who have experienced and feel this same insanity😭

[ananke-xiii]

My ranking of SPN seasons (based only on their PLOT) pt. 3

In my previous posts (here and here) I've covered the following:

15: Season 14

14: Season 15

13: Season 7

12: Season 3

11: Season 6

10: Season 13

9: Season 12

8: Season 1

7: Season 10

Let's continue!

6. Season 9: The plot for this season runs on parallel tracks: on one hand we have the consequences of the spell that Metatron cast at the end of season 8 (ie: angels have fallen, chaos ensues); on the other hand, we have the heroes' quest, finding and killing Abbadon. These 2 parallel plots find their meeting point in the Mark of Cain: frustrated because he's unable to kill Abbadon AND because of his serious fallout with Sam, Dean gives in and accepts the curse. His choice will have immense consequences on the heaven-related plot: it will be revealed that Castiel, who was working to settle things out in heaven, will give up everything to save Dean. Plot-wise, this was a good season. Once again, I felt that the death of a secondary character (Kevin Tran, RIP my poor baby boy), was done for emotional sake and to aggravate the heroes' fallout. It felt unnecessary, cruel and, frankly, not well thought-out (but the writers have already made the same mistake with Bobby and will make it again with Charlie SO at this point I think that they know what they are doing, I simply don't agree with their writing choices). All in all, the season was quite good, it did its job. Can't complain.

5. Season 2: This season expands on the season 1 plot, so basically we are still dealing with the heroes' personal vendetta against the Yellow Eyes demon who killed their mother. However, this time we are presented with more allies and enemies, the Winchesters' backstory gets more complicated and we start to guess that there's more at stake for the two brothers. It's not just payback anymore: the plot starts to thicken and we glimpes that higher powers were pulling the strings all along. Mary Winchester's death was destined. It's a strong season that starts with John's death and almost ends with Sam's death but not quite: the last episode is able to keep us interested for what's to come as we find out that Dean has made a demon deal to save his brother. I didn't like some "minutiae", like the whole thing about other humans being infected with demon blood at 6 months old as a "back-up" plan in case Sam was not the One. Sorry but when Destiny enters the chat you either go all-in or not, there are no back-up plans. Also, it turns out that Sam is not exactly The One since he gets killed by the other guy whose name I forgot. Soooo, you know... this doesn't sound solid, you can tell that the whole thing is there to 1) fill in episodes; 2) give writers some space in case things don't go as planned. I don't know, I was kinda bummed about it, yeah.

4. Season 5: This might sound controversial but... I didn't exactly like season 5's ending. I know that, according to the majority of articles I've read, this is considered THE perfect SPN season but.. you know, it doesn't cut it for me. The plot is very good, though, so here's why it's still high on my own personal ranking. Once we've established that Sam and Dean are the destiny's children (LOL) and that their own existence was predestined, we are now left with the big IF. A sort of "will-they-won't-they". Will Dean say YES to Michael and become his vessel? Will Sam say YES to Lucifer? I like it, this is good and the plot is well-developed throughout the whole 20+ episodes. BUT, here's the BIG but. I hated, HATED, the "Adam becomes Michael's vessel so that Dean can safely say no and the plot can still go as planned" expedient. I truly hate this kind of things with a passion. First thing first, I detest writers when they introduce "disposable" characters such as Adam (and many others in the show, tbh). This is my own personal pet peeve so I can understand why other people are not as bothered by this as I am. Aside from that, as I've said before, once you introduce DESTINY in the plot you cannot have back-up plans. If you do, the whole concept is weakened and, as a refult, the plot feels cheap. We had established that Dean and Dean only could be Michael's vessel. However, SURPRISE! Adam, being his half-brother, can be a vessel, too! Yu-hoo, Apocalipse can still happen even if Dean says NO! Ma'am, please. No. It's also very sexist since it implies the father's blood is the predominant factor in this whole charade (Adam is John's Winchester third ((maybe, who really knows at this point??) son). This is a big NO for me. Since it's an intrinsic part of the plot I can't walk away from this.

[shallowseeker]

Bobby expects a lot of Cas...

At first Bobby fares okay, listening to Dean's rousing (fake) pep talk and feeling hopeful:

(In reality, Dean is devastated at finding out his role as a vessel, and he's still simmering over Sam's "Aw sucks I fucked up" attitude.)

But anyway BOBBY!

❤️❤️❤️❤️ Dean gave this speech for Bobby's benefit, and he's trying soo hard to cheer him up, even well into the next episode.

And it works! At first, Bobby AND Sam are so cheered up by the appearance of DEAN BOUNCING BACK, especially Sam. (In the very next scene, reality hits, and Sam realizes that Dean hasn't bounced back.)

Then, in the very next episode, it's Dean's parent figure that isn't bouncing back.

There's a fun parallel here: As Sam hopes/expects Dean to bounce back, Dean expects Bobby to bounce back.

////

Then... we PIVOT back to the theme of Cas's newly minted protectorship role:

And Cas calls Sam's phone, then comes marching in. And ha--Dean is being a little weird about the cellphone here. Why?

Why?

CAS: "I won't be able to simply-- (fly to your side)"

And perhaps Dean is feeling a little anxious about that.

Since learning he's the Michael sword, perhaps he's feeling the anxiety in a new way: more personal, more vulnerable.

///

Anyway, Cas's protectorship duties have instantly expanded to include Bobby. Just as Mary instantly identifies Cas as the one to put too much on, Bobby does the same.

///

Bobby is devastated, and as Dean listens, Dean is starting to feel even more afraid.

Because Cas can't assuage this new feeling of vulnerability, even though Dean may desperately want him to.

Cas has been more or less "invincible " until recently, but in the last few days, he's died and come back, and now Cas can't even fly to him whenever.

AND apparently, to make matters even scarier, Cas’s handcuffed with regards to powers.

///

DEAN: Wow. Uhm uhm awkward uh. I'll lighten the mood:

Anyway, what I like about these things with Bobby and Mary in particular...

It's like when Dean velcroed himself to Cas; they sense the dynamic and, by proxy, benefit from it. Dean's parents* are instantly awarded the privilege of Cas's strength and protectorship.

Dean gets a kind of spousal support from Cas, even to the point of asking Cas to fix things he can't fix or take on what Dean can't take.

And Dean's parents follow suit, expecting of Dean's partner husband protector of the hearth very VERY heavy familial duties.

[bella-rose29]

episode 5 commentary - Death Is Coming

the usual warnings of swearing and lack of context, as well as a lot of comments on hands and arms and obviously spoilers for both the series and the books

girl has stare down with a skull in a jar

omg it's been so long since I watched and I forgot how pretty lockwood is

OMG HE ASKS IF SHE WANTS JUICE

WHAT IF THE JUICE IS ORANGE AND HAS BITS IN

lolllll George is shipping already and the episode only just started

Georgie needs more sleep

lockwood takes the Mum Stance

I always think that the DEPRAC van is a lego van bc it's yellow

ohhh you can really see how big the coat is on lockwood :(((

ooo nice detail with the lavender pin that he has

'wILL yOu cAN iT pAm'

hands

ugh Lockwood's so pretty

Georgie noo

'bobby Vernon will have been at it since dawn'

'alarming how quickly you got into character' (code for: I am completely in love with you')

careful Georgie that's a lot of blood

ew dead body

'I know him' YOU CAN SEE HOW UPSET HE IS BUT HE'S GONNA HIDE IT BC HE FEELS THE NEED TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME

I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG

CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MAN YOU ARE HOW DO YOU DO THE MICRO EXPRESSIONS SO WELL

ohhh lockwood is trying so hard to not be upset and it breaks my heart :((( poor boy

✨swagger✨

I want an epic breakfast

'I hardly knew him' BOY DON'T-

wow she's a bitch let my boy do research

get away from Georgie you bitch

eeeeeee

'when am I not nice' Luce I hate to break it to you

Lucy that is very clearly a ghost and not a real baby

silly goose behaviour

'I did' QUEEN

'who's the latest slapper?' ICONIC

'oh wow, a female serial killer? aspirational, why don't you stick it on a t-shirt'

I love lockwood bc he makes sure the remains go to a good home AND Flo gets her money

ohhhh I just had a Thought! what if one of the reasons they made Joplin a woman was to draw parallels between her and Mary dulac??? one of the headlines on the papers is 'mystery madwoman: Bickerstaff connection?' so maybe they wanted to repeat the past but this time make the crazy one go too far and die? idk if that even makes sense but oh well

Georgie noooo

no leave him alone

let him go clean the oven and I'll be there to make him a tea

WIFE BEHAVIOUR

he can't even slice toast without being Extra

JONATHAN BESTIEEEEE

'a suicide note' Lucy honey have you noticed that your bf has a tendency for suicidal things

I really wish the bisto was in the background bc that would be hilarious

'I thought you'd be dead by now' NO LETS TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE HE GOES FROM QUIRKING A LIL SMILE, TO LOOKING DOWN AND THE SMILE DISAPPEARING, TO INHALING AND SMILING EVEN WIDER BECAUSE HE KNOWS LUCY IS WATCHING HIM

give that boy some therapy for free

aw two nerds talking about mythology (I wish I was the other one)

also can we talk about the STAGING OF THIS SCENE??? BECAUSE JOPLIN HAS A MIRROR OVER HER LEFT SHOULDER AND GEORGE HAS ONE OVER HIS RIGHT

also George has the city lights behind him and Joplin just has the beige walls and I love that for some reason, maybe to show that George's life is bright and he's got life left in him whereas Joplin can only gain brightness from George bc she needs him for the mirror? idk if I'm explaining that right but oh well! also Joplin's mirror reflects the light behind George which is funky

just you wait for my next analysis of the show which is almost certainly gonna be on the use of mirrors lol

THE STAGING AGAIN

FILMING THEM IN THE MIRRORS

I LOVE THIS GHOST SHOW

'how did you meet Flo?' 'can't remember. ages ago' LOL HE'S HIDING THE FACT HE GOT HIS ASS BEATEN

ohhh the green lighting

'I'm not worried. are you?' well not when you say it like that

while I do love this show I am very sad we didn't see more of lockwood using disguises

of course he knows how to pick locks

I don't like it either Lucy dw

I love how jarringly innocent the stuffed bear is compared to the fact that they're in the warehouse of a family with a significantly traumatised boy

lockwood and kids <3

sack of potatoes

I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she must be dragging the Actual Cameron Chapman out by his feet

Georgie noooooo

idk why he's looking around bc he doesn't have his glasses on so he can't see shit

I shouldn't feel the way I do about lockwood regaining consciousness but the expressions- I just- hmm

'I'm a burglar, you should call the police' honey not one of your better lies

no bc why when I first watched this did I think that winkman was the same actor as Pekka Rollins

winkman: 'shall I draw some pretty pictures on your pretty little face'

lockwood: 'omg you think I'm pretty?? 🤭🥰'

ohhh I'm getting inspiration for a fic I started planning 👀

I can't imagine having to pretend you're being electrocuted like how do you know how to act that

I feel like something can be said about Leopold wearing red and mrs winkman (I forgot her first name WAIT ADELAIDE) also wearing red but idk what

omg hedgehogwood

winkman is actually so funny *points at lockwood* *puts hand over heart* 'ohhh' he's literally us

aw lockwood pls don't say that she's got more to live for than you :(((

omg Lucy tells Leopold to get out the way <333 she'll regret that :D

this couple loves setting fires

Georgie seriously how are you without your glasses rn

green light green light green light

funny looking bird you got there george

'total psychos' dude-

'I prefer to call it a noble sacrifice' NO I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

greeeeeeen lightssssss

'what is going on with you' Cameron Chapman Acts his Fucking Face Off

omg lockwood saw the knife and then looked out the door to see what was there

that's such an awful angle to be lying down

omg poor lockwood

the way he's sat in that final frame breaks my heart bc he's literally just had someone else die in his home :(((

wow what a depressing note to end on

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Words of wisdom – Parallels

Buck’s had life lessons and/or words of wisdom conversations with three older men right before they died, i.e., Thomas in 2x8 “Buck Actually”, Red in 3x16 “The One That Got Away” and Lev in 6x2 “Crash and Learn”.  While the vast majority of viewers tend to focus on his conversations with them along with the way their words applied to his life, Eddie’s had words of wisdom spoken to him too but the wisdom he received was told to him by three different women, i.e., Linda in 5x16 “May Day”, May in 5x15 “FOMO” and Marie in 6x15 “Death and Taxes”.  Two of those three women are still alive and one of them is part of Buck and Eddie’s found family.  Their words to Buck and Eddie are parallels because of the similarities included in them when it involves them living their lives, finding the balance between their personal and professional lives along with choosing their own paths and finding happiness.

All of the conversations Buck had with Thomas, Red and Lev were shown but that wasn’t the case with Eddie. Over the years, Eddie’s developed several friendships with women including Karen, Linda and May.  Excluding the hand off of Hoover the dog in 6x5 “Home Invasion”, Eddie’s conversations with Karen have never been shown on-screen but his conversations with Linda and May have and the conversations he had with them were important.

Parallels

Living their lives for themselves instead of for others

In 6x2, Buck talked with Lev while they waited until the team could extract him from the collapsed bridge inside of a convention center where a happiness convention was being held.  Lev explained the reason why he and his two friends attended and when Buck asked him why they were there, Lev explained they were looking for answers.  He told Buck the way he lived his life for 40 years doing everything he was supposed to do, all ended up in a blur.  He died right after he figured out the secret to happiness but Buck thought he didn’t share it with him when in actuality he did.

In 5x15, May and Eddie had two important conversations about life.  The first one involved FOMO or the fear of missing out and when May asked Eddie if he wished he would have made different choices, he lied and said no.  The second conversation happened in Eddie’s office and it involved May explaining the way she hadn’t been living her life for herself and she asked him how she could get back to being the person she wanted to be.  Eddie told her she hid in a place she knew along with the way trauma often causes people to look inward.

Their jobs as firefighters

In 3x16, Red told Buck he shouldn’t allow his job as a firefighter to be his whole life and he told him it’s ok to be the hero but he shouldn’t neglect having a life of his own. He assured Buck that he knew what he was talking about because he missed his chance to be with the woman he loved and he allowed being a firefighter to be more important thing building a life and a family.  He told Buck he should avoid ending up like him.  Red died alone and that is still one of Buck’s biggest fears for himself.

In 5x16, Linda told Eddie something her mother told her about tying herself in knots trying to figure out what she was supposed to do in this world but at the end of the day God would have the final say.  After Eddie and Buck were partnered again (reminder Eddie hadn’t returned to the 118 yet) and they saved Bobby and May from the collapsed dispatch center roof, Linda told him after he walked into the triage area, “God has spoken” and he smiled because he knew exactly what she was talking about.

Choosing to live their lives how they want to instead of how others expect them to

In 2x8, Buck sat and talked with Thomas while the rest of the team prepared his husband Mitchell’s body for the coroner.  Thomas told Buck all about the life he had with Mitchell.  He explained how all they ever wanted was to go together and when he finished talking, Buck told him that he hoped he could find something that good one day.  But Thomas replied, “You don’t find it son, you make it”.

In 6x15, Eddie and Hen had a conversation with Marie while they tended to her injuries after a car drove through her live funeral.  Eddie told her not to give up hope but she told him, “We’re all going to die alone, might as well spend time with our loved ones while we’re still living”.

                                                  _______________

All six of the conversations Buck and Eddie had were important and they happened at different points in their lives over the seasons.

Buck’s conversation with Lev was the last one he had but it parallels with Eddie’s first conversation with May because they discussed living life for themselves instead of living them the way others expected.  Lev told Buck his life went by in a blur since he spent so much time doing the things that were expected of him.  May told Eddie she had a specific life in mind that she wanted to live before Athena got attacked and she felt like she was losing herself.  She wanted to know how to get back to being the person she wanted to be.  Lev and May’s conversations were important because they both helped Buck and Eddie understand they should be living their lives for themselves instead of for others.

Buck’s conversation with Red was second and it parallels with Eddie’s second conversation with Linda.  Both conversations involved the viewpoints they had about their jobs as firefighters.  Buck has been identifying himself as a firefighter for years but Eddie doesn’t see Buck as just a firefighter.  They are work partners but when he looks at him, he sees Buck as a lover, a life partner, the second father to his son, someone he trusts with both his and Chris’ lives, a coparent, the person he can be himself with and the only one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.  Even though Eddie doesn’t identify himself as a firefighter the way Buck does, he has identified himself as a single father who doesn’t have much time for anything else.  He told the police in 2x15 “Ocean’s 9-1-1″ that he’s a single father and a firefighter but to Buck, Eddie and Chris are his whole world.  He loves them endlessly, he stepped in to help Eddie without Eddie ever asking him to, he will and has almost died for them, he will do anything for both of them and he’s wanted to be part of their little family since the day Eddie showed him a picture of Chris in 2x2 “7.1″.  He loves them and he wants to make both of them happy.

Even though Buck’s conversation with Thomas happened first, it should be paralleled with Eddie’s last and most recent conversation with Marie because they talked about the way they chose to live their lives.  Thomas explained to Buck that he needed to make it instead of trying to find it and he’s already done that with Eddie but it took five years for them to get to the place where they are ready to move forward together as a couple. Buck looked at the pictures that fell on the ground from the scrapbook Thomas made which means he saw where his and Eddie’s lives could be once they become a couple.  Buck talked to Thomas a few weeks after he and Eddie agreed to have each other’s backs.  In those few moments Buck spent talking with Thomas, he was able to learn about their lives and he should have learned that life is what he makes it not what other people want him to do.  However, as of 6x15, it’s been more than five years and he still seems to care about what other people think.  Bobby told him while he was in his coma, that if he still cared about that then he hadn’t learned a damn thing.  Eddie told him he didn’t have to be anything for anybody after Buck said he was still trying to be the same old Buck mostly for everyone else’s sake.  Marie told Eddie everyone was going to die alone which is technically true but Eddie internalized it to mean he would die without ever having the chance to be in a relationship with Buck.  Buck’s been right in front of him this whole time and they’re both scared of losing each other.

He reached for Buck after he got shot in 4x13 “Suspicion” and he didn’t make a sound in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” when Buck broke down his bedroom door until he heard Buck’s voice call for him.  They’re lives are so intertwined it’s amazing they still haven’t confessed their love to one another.  Eddie will not die alone because Buck’s going to be there with him just like Thomas was there with Mitchell which in turn means Buck will not die alone either.  It appears Thomas and Mitchell’s lives were shown first to foreshadow the life Buck and Eddie will have in the future as a married couple.

Will Buck and Eddie FINALLY be allowed to become a CANON couple by the end of season 6 so they can be happy together?  Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Buck and Eddie standing together at the end of the grave speaks volumes.

Buck putting flowers down while Eddie makes the sign of the cross in blessing.

Eddie: "We're all gonna die alone." (notice he says this after Buck tells him what Natalia said)

Eddie: "That was a beautiful thing Natalia did for her." -> I see you, Eddie

Eddie: "Really? Dating someone you rescued? You know that never ends well." (like I said, she's Ali all over again, but she's also Taylor and Ana)

Love Eddie's eye roll btw.

Buck: "There's something different about her. I feel like she sees me."

"You know, like she sees me for who I really am and what I've been through."

"I think she might even see more of me than I see in myself."

Considering what we saw happen on his date with Natalia and how this whole setup is happening, it's obvious Buck is trying to force something here that just isn't reality. This could be the result of the trauma he went through, but he had better immediate chemistry with Taylor when meeting her on an emergency. This isn't where Buck is supposed to be headed (meaning what his endgame will be) and the show is going to great lengths to showcase that. Which is why we have this scene (and Marie being Eddie's Thomas from 2x08 which doesn't surprise me that Eddie is thinking of the long-term future and Buck is still not thinking big-picture yet, not completely).

And sure enough:

Eddie: "Look, I know we razzed you about your whole math skills, maybe I even tried to get rich off of 'em, but to be honest, you haven't been the same since it happened." -> not only is math mentioned again (Buddie) but it's made very clear that Eddie sees how much Buck is floundering & considering what Buck just said about Natalia (who thinks his experience was really cool and exciting) but we didn't see her seeing into him like this, the show is telling you who really sees Buck the way Buck just described

And Eddie has his own realization and looks down at the grave. "But how could you be?" -> he hasn't been the same since Shannon died and he knows it

Buck: "The truth is I still don't know how to act. I am different, but I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck. Mostly for the sake of everyone else." -> as we already knew, Buck is being performative with Natalia (aka flirting like the same old Buck would do & dating a woman he met on an emergency) & Eddie pretty much called it

Eddie: "You know, you don't have to be anything for anybody. Nobody is ever the same, from one day to the next. Experiences like this, they change us." -> not only is this the absolute truth, he's giving Buck (and himself) permission to be different and not be the same ol', same ol'

Eddie: "So what changed in you?"

Buck: "When I woke up in that hospital, I felt like I had gotten away with something."

Eddie: "You cheated death."

Buck: "My life could have ended. Right then and there, but it didn't. That has to mean something, right?"

Eddie: "It means you're one lucky guy."

Buck: "I don't think I'm gonna get that lucky again."

Eddie: "Well, maybe you don't have to. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice."

Buck: "Which is why I have to make the most of every single moment. 'Cause from here on out, it's all a gift."

So not only do we have Buck and Eddie being paralleled to two out of the three main couples this episode (Maddie and Chim go through the auditing together, Bobby is there for Athena when her suspect dies unexpectedly) but we get this scene. And this scene is SO important. Not only from what I mentioned above but also the very scene itself happening. Eddie and Buck have admitted to the audience that they're different and they were standing together at a fresh grave (recent death -> old versions of themselves/their journeys) and had an emotionally intimate moment. When Eddie said Buck didn't have to perform, Buck jumped at the chance to speak his truth. Eddie asked what changed in Buck and we find out, but Buck also didn't ask Eddie this because through Athena, we found out Eddie has more questions than answers. And we've watched him get answers the past two seasons.

This is why when people say 'oh KR is separating Buddie' and 'Buddie will never happen' I shake my head. Because Buddie has been there all along and strengthening to lead to what we're hoping for, for some time now and this scene literally just doubled down on Buddie AGAIN. The same episode where it looks like Buck might have a new love interest, they're already telling us 'don't get comfortable, this is not here to stay'. By Buck's own words, he's being performative and trying to act like old Buck. In the same conversation he talks to Eddie about Natalia. And then they added how Eddie saw the real Buck in contrast to Buck thinking Natalia sees the real him and how it's important to him.

Literally, I almost expected some heart eyes to pop out in this scene or some sort of self-realization, that's how impactful this scene is for Buddie and how blatant it is. And a full episode after Eddie shot down his own date who mutually agreed.

At this point, we might get Buddie sooner than we think. I get the feeling Natalia will be the last ditch effort/pit stop before we get there.

[wantedfamily]

THE MUN WATCHES. On S13 for SPN in my rewatch/full watch and I'm watching as Nick goes insane serial killer and it is making me so sad. It's like the other path that John could have taken in a way.

In other news : Not enjoying the random Bobby/Mary that popped up. Didn't feel the chemistry. But I'm kind of amused as fuck by Mary repeatedly punching Lucifer in the face in earlier seasons. I enjoyed their repartee in hell land. Mark Pellegrino just has good chemistry in general.

Trying to tell if it is Mary or me that sees weird parallels between John and Nick/Lucifer. Or feels their chemistry.