#boat driving lessons cost

[boatdrivinglessons]

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[kolurize]

Watch the World Burn (by Falling In Reverse) but I match the lyrics to characters from Once Upon a Witchlight DnD campaign

Frost Gricko Kremy Gideon Torbek

Yeah, I got voices in my head again, tread carefully

And I don't medicate, it helps me temporarily

I got problems, I got issues, yeah, apparently

Trauma that I'm burying, I think I need some therapy

I battle depression, I'm back with a message

I'm asking the question that if you hate me, why you acting obsessive?

I'm past the point of no return, fuck being passive-aggressive

I'll brandish a weapon, teach all you motherfuckers a lesson

I actually battle my demons and shadows

They swim in the deep, and they creep in the shallows, I'm lost

I gotta admit that I'm living the life that I've always wanted, but it comes at a cost

They're licking their chops, they're fixing to rip me apart, I'm swimming with sharks

I'm lifting the bar, I'm lifting it into the stars

I'm like a shot of adrenaline mixed with some Ritalin

You started a battle, but bitch, I'ma finish it

You think you can stop me? Not even a little bit

Nowadays, everybody's so sensitive

Taking my words and you pick it apart

Tripping on nothing, just get in the car

Gripping and ripping, I'm sticking the mark

I'm tipping the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-charts

'Cause I got enemies trying to get rid of me

Evil tendencies are fucking with me mentally

I got people that don't like me in the industry

I can feel your energy, you are not a friend to me

'Cause I have been to places that you never wanna go, yeah

I got dirt on people, but they act like I don't know, yeah

I could do some damage but I'll never rock the boat

All it takes is one post, watch 'em fall like dominoes

You'll never get rid of me, too many mini-mes ripping my imagery

You know my history, it ain't a mystery

I put every enemy outta they misery

Somebody, send me some positive energy

About to go Darth, about to go Disney

Into the darkness, into infinity and

Shut you motherfuckers up, you listening?

Stacking every little pretty penny that I'm getting

And I'm never giving in to anybody, always winning

Never kidding when I die, I'm taking everybody with me

You're never gonna get me 'cause you'll never see it simply

I'm a motherfucking god, you're a light yawn, I'm a time bomb

And the vibes wrong, is this mic on?

I'm killing the syllables with a loaded refillable

I'm a lyrical, typical super villain, I'm venomous

And I'm never gonna stop until they put me on top of the list

I can't control the monster any longer that's inside

All:

The pain and sorrow left us hollow

No tomorrows hard to swallow

Death is calling so appalling

Tightrope walking, now I'm falling down

Like missiles falling from the sky

Come and save us

The pain and sorrow left us hollow

Here today, but gone tomorrow

The pain inside is the fuel that drives

This flesh and bone through blood-red skies

The death defying, hypnotizing

One day you're gonna figure out that

Everything they taught you was a lie

Watch the world burn

Ooh

The fear is what keeps you alive

Break the fucking chains, take back your life

The fear is what keeps you insane

Break the fucking chains, take away the pain

[collinnmckinley]

trigger warning for mention of r*pe and sexual assault (feel free to not answer and delete if this topic is too much!)

Cannot believe you've got anons defending some of the stuff in fics and whitewashing it as just "experiencing attraction to a character." I cannot stand the pervy!141 fics. Especially because they tag it as non-con/dub-con (and sometimes they don't even include that warning, smh). Years ago, people in a ton of fandoms, especially on tumblr, all agreed that non-con/dub-con is literal rape. There's not such thing as "dubious consent"—that is 100% r*pe. Like, are we really fantasizing about r*pe??

Obviously, including dub-con/r*pe is so out of character for the 141 and COD in general. Maybe darker fandoms are more tolerant of that stuff because of the nature of their original material but I don't see COD being one of those. Especially because women in the military and civilian women in war zones are subject to so much sexual violence. And, female COD fans often experience threats of sexual violence and intense misogyny when we play online either in multiplayer or Warzone. That's literally why I have to always have voice chat disabled when I play.

Your dumbass anon™ was saying that tumblr is public so they should get to post what they want. That's totally true but guess what?? If they make their fics public, then they need to be open to both positive and negative feedback. That's part of being a writer—from someone who actually writes for a living. There's a level of vulnerability to putting your ideas and craft out there. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. In other words, if you can't handle people critiquing your fics, then keep your stories saved on a hard drive and don't share it. End of story.

TRIGGER WARNING!!

I remember back in 2018 I just got introduced to OW fandom, let me tell you, the amount of dub-con it had was wild. I, being young and stupid, didn't understand that it's literally r*pe because it didn't mention that and it's just said dub-con, I thought it would be "oh they might be role-playing or she'll be totally okay with it later on" or " is this how they start becoming lovers cause it doesnt make sense?" and I would always comment something along the line of "she said no at first, why is she taking it without fighting? can she not get help from her friend? why is 'my favorite character' acting like this?" and the authors would be frustrated to answer my questions every time. it only took me a year to understand that people were fucking degenerates and this is not a genre that should be taken lightly because like you said, it's literally r*pe. and at the time, that genre was RAMPANT, how it is right now in cod tumblr.

and when I see all that being repeated in cod fandom, I can't stand it! it pisses me the fuck off. they think, because cod is all "war and no love" and how "hard ass" these characters are, how manly and rugged they are, they'll act this way towards anyone let alone their loved ones. if ANYTHING some of the pure, loving and soft characters I've come to known from different types of media (videogames, tv series, movies, etc) , came from military or law enforcements. not everything has to be overtly sexualized or made into some fucked up fantasy.

and yeah I'm in the same boat as you are when it comes to voice coms. I am terrified of what I might hear in it regardless of if its towards a woman or not, so rarely open it when I play alone.

all in all, that anon should not be interacting with me anymore, good fucking riddance. and this should be a lesson to everyone who thinks like that too. never fuck with or come near people who has unconditional love towards "fictional" characters and want to protect them no matter what the cost. we wont hesitate to kink shame you, at least I wont.

[lemonylepid]

Having a billion dollars is just... Unimaginable. Like, I could, immediately, buy my dream 2 story lake house, a car, furniture for the house and moving fees, driving lessons, therapy for a year, medication, all the food I need to fill my cabinets, and then I'm left with what, still roughly a billion dollars??? Like does money mean anything at that point??? Then I guess I can go on a more aggressive spending spree...

So that's a food truck, paying for the wages of workers, the rights for my food, business paperwork... Okay I just started a small business. Fuck that's only getting me more money, and I still haven't made a dent. Um uhh I buy a boat, a small one because I just need it for my backyard lake. Alright okay. Umm how about a cat patio? Alright that costs literally nothing now what. Make my house fully wheelchair accessible. Pennies in comparison to what I have.

I need to go bigger this is ridiculous.

A local homeless shelter with free and comfortable rooms, clean water, mental health programs and attached free-access food bank? Okay cool that actually made a dent how many more of these can I make.. Holy shit how many?? I can scatter these to cities with major poverty levels and not break a sweat. I've made a minor dent in my single billion dollars and the cool 2 million I put in the bank has an interest rate that can keep me alive for a lifetime so I can literally drain my billion dollars all I want.

Several food locations based on the food truck I made a few weeks ago. Still have money. Filling those food banks I funded to the brim, still have money. Get married. Still have money. Take a honeymoon to Denmark to see the lego museum. Still have money. Get bottom surgery. Still have money. Give a cool million dollars to each of my close friends and family. I still have money. Find clean water and food solutions for impoverished countries? I probably still have money. I've paid all of this in cash and up front. I literally don't understand.

I have no instinct to keep a billion dollars, let alone 44 billion or 100 billion. I don't comprehend why you want to save it up. You can literally live a beautiful, loving and perfect life for a drop of it, and save billions of people with the rest. Live your dreams, conquer your hindrances, help everyone you know. I literally can't understand saving it. Especially when you've created a successful company and *you're just getting more.*

People who have this much money, and don't do any of this with it, are absolutely without a doubt evil. Billionaires are not your friend, and I have no idea why you'd think otherwise unless they're legitimately, tangibly helping people as fast as possible with as much money as possible.

[cocoabubbelle]

Watching “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” (1969-1970 CBS) + Thoughts

Episode 19: Mystery Mask Mix Up

Is it me or is the typeface for the episode card different?

Why are the subtitles not working?

When Daphne expressed interest in buying the mask that totally has nothing to do with the creepy guys earlier wanting to search for a particular mask: “Looks like Daphne wants to scare off a couple of new boyfriends 😜” You wish that were true Shaggy 😚 sorry its the Shaphne in me.

Store owner I know these goons caught you by surprise and are intimidating, but why would you say to whom you sold the mask to?

Daphne’s pink tights apparently glow in the dark.

It would appear that not only is Velma one of the strongest members of the Scooby Gang, she’s also the most physically imposing by the way everyone hides behind her. No wonder she joins Shaggy in the MultiVersus Game.

“Quick Scooby! Make like a Watchdog!” Well, he’s trying, but not everyone is afraid of a large, 120lb Great Dane.

Apparently Scooby speaks Mandarin or Cantonese,…or whatever the writers though that dialogue sounded remotely like any of the Chinese languages (I cannot speak any of the languages, but I heard “gomen” thrown in by Scooby, which sounds more like the short version of the Japanese “gomennasai”)

Scooby uses Shirt Presser. It’s super effective!

Mr. Fong, the Art Dealer, warns that as long as Daphne keeps the mask, she will be in great danger. A genuine precaution, or a warning by one of the three culprits (the supposed ghost of this mask + his two henchmen)?

Fraphne? (Daphne holding on Fred’s arm in worry; then again, both Freddy and Velma are holding her defensively, so it might just be platonic protectiveness)

Daphne too stubborn to hold onto the mask she bought rather than hand it over to the police or Mr. Fong for safekeeping (tbf it probably costed her a pretty penny.)

“I didn’t know that zombies could ride cars.”

Second time we hear an upbeat song playing for a chase scene. Also, Fred’s a reckless driver.

The girls are holding onto Shaggy for dear life during this car chase. Smart, as he’s probably powerful enough to deflect potential damage from car crashes. (Also mini Shelma since she’s the closest to him)

Mystery Van is able to smash through a hotel entrance, go through lobby, and up the stairs. I call shenanigans on both this logic and that none of the Scooby Gang will be charge for disturbing the peace. (Mini Fraphne again: she’s holding onto him for dear life while she and the rest of the gang almost fall out their seats from Fred’s crazy driving.)

Hilariously, the Zombie henchmen weren’t dumb enough to follow the Mystery Van into the hotel, so patiently waited for it to come out to resume chase.

How did you guys get on top of a building?! Freddy don’t cover your eyes with the rest of the gang YOU’RE THE ONE THAT GOT THEM INTO THIS SITUATION OWN UP TO IT!!!

Parkour: Mystery Van Style.

Oh, so driving into hotels is too extreme for Zombies, but driving onto and off of buildings isn’t?!

Mystery Van drops down and crashes through a glass ceiling without any scratches. SHENANIGANS, I tell ya!!

I forgot to mention this in the previous episode, but the Mystery Van’s interiors changes more than my mental health status on a day to day basis.

Have they not learned last episode’s lesson of locking the doors to the back of their car?? You left your dog behind again!! (See episode

Dear 70s: why are cheesy love songs the go-to-music for chase scenes????

Scooby uses bike; it was ineffective.

Because a big car slipping on a banana peel makes sense.

My sis: why does the weird cartoon logic bug you so much?? ; Me: I DON’T KNOW IT’S NEVER BUGGED ME BEFORE BUT IT DOES NOW!!!

Animation Goof: Scooby’s arm momentarily turns green as he tries to unearth Shaggy from the pile of spilled fishes from a boat Fred crashes into. (Funny Frelma moment as they exchange quips.)

Of course the Zombies immediately capture, bind, and gag Daphne and have her in their car offscreen without anyone noticing.

Secret message that can be read via reflections.

Of course the temple doors they sneak through aren’t locked.

Good news: Fred and Velma immediately find Daphne after splitting up with Shaggy and Scooby. Bad news: t’was a trap.

“What you can’t see can’t hurt ya!” *proceeds to crash as soon as he enters the mysterious room with his eyes covered.*

“I dare you to cross this line! >:D” Bad guy: *crosses line like a boss.* “D:”

Question: is it possible to ride Great Danes like horses in real life?

Shaggy and Scooby disguise themselves and speak like racist caricatures. (Did Scooby technically dress like a racist caricature of a Native American last episode?)

Sitting on a lit fuse of dynamite stops the flame but burns your seat.

Accidental rescue! The Scooby Gang’s reunited.

Pigeon Coop. Daphne has a princess moment and lovingly cuddles a pigeon/dove(?) while Velma reads a suspicious message it had tied to its leg.

First time we hear that Shaggy has a model train set, and Fred wants to use it for a trap. Break your own toys, Freddy!

“I sure hope this crazy contraption works.” “Sure it will!” Me: *checks the score between Fred’s successful vs unsuccessful traps* 😬

Poor Scooby isn’t able to finish setting up his part of the traps in time, so winds up caught in it along with the criminals.

Useful policemen/sheriffs/detectives yet again! And yes, Mr. Fong was one of the bad guys.

Day 19 of no “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!” For being one of the most well known catchphrases of this entire franchise, it surprisingly took a while for it to actually be a thing. *sees there are only 6 episodes left this season.* 😐

[nurtureliterary]

A Few Things I Think About Differently Now That I’m Older

Aaron Burch

How, when we’d return to California to visit family in the summers, my dad would drive us around on little nostalgia tours — that’s where I went to high school, this was the strip we’d cruise on the weekends, that used to be our favorite burger joint…

The wooden model NASA space shuttle, hand-carved and -painted by my uncle, given to me as a gift in my preteen years; knocked off a shelf when I was a teenager, resulting in a broken fin and a few chips in the paint; left behind when I moved out of the house for college; and which is still in one of my parents’ closets, I presume.

Every sketchpad and package of pens and pencils and little kid watercolor set and every other art supply that my parents ever bought me.

How every Sunday was for chores, my brother and I tasked with cleaning our rooms or yardwork when it was nice out or sprinkling down deodorizing carpet freshener powder and vacuuming or moving framed photos and knickknacks and other small pieces of décor and spraying wood cleaner onto old rags and washcloths and wiping down tabletops and the fireplace mantel and windowsills.

The boxy 80s cars I grew up with and hated at the time—my grandmother’s giant blue Ford boat of a car that I thought was so big and ugly and grandparenty that my mom and grandmother would tease was going to become my car, as a punishment; my dad’s ugly Datsun station wagon that I didn’t understand why anyone (much less my dad) would ever purchase; my grandmother’s mid80s Mustang that she gave me when I got my driver’s license, which I loved but also treated like shit and also never understood how it could be the same make and model as such cool muscle cars from the 60s and 70s.

Every weekend that we drove a few hours to go camping or hiking or fishing or to some festival that I didn’t really care about—blues, bluegrass, kite, etc.—or to go on some kind of tour—chocolatier, cheese, brewery, candy, etc.

All the toys and report cards and baseball cards and photos that are still in my parents’ various closets.

The coffee table made by my grandfather that I took with me when I moved to California with my girlfriend-at-the-time after college and that I’m not sure what happened to after we broke up and I moved out but that was the nicest piece of furniture I’ve ever owned.

Eating healthy, exercise, drinking water, going to the dentist, sunscreen.

The smell of that Arm & Hammer carpet freshening powder, that Old English wood spray.

All the sports equipment and league fees and Taekwondo lessons and tournament fees and travel costs, often whether they could really afford it or not, whether it meant borrowing money from their parents or my dad working overtime or skimping on something else that I probably didn’t know about at the time, always so supportive and encouraging in every endeavor I wanted to try.

Aaron Burch's first novel, Year of the Buffalo, is out this month from American Buffalo Books. Recent short work (fiction and non) has appeared or is forthcoming in Hex, Menagerie Magazine, Complete Sentence, and Schuylkill Valley Journal. He is (too) on Twitter @aaron__burch and on the world wide web at aaronburch.net. The last time he visited Washington with his girlfriend, he felt a deep desire to drive her around and show her the house he grew up in, where he went to high school, his favorite teenage skate spots. He often wishes he took better care of things—probably most especially himself and also those things made and given to him by loved ones—when younger. His apartment is a mess, which only highlights the pleasures of when it is clean, and while he sometimes fears the slide from packrat to hoarder, he loves looking through his old ticket stubs and notebooks and other ephemera he has collected and kept over the years. He started painting again in the last couple of years, after not making any visual art since he was a teenager. He has written about this before, but he thinks often, and more and more every year, about how loving and supportive his parents were and still are, having always encouraged him to seek and follow passions and all those things in life that bring him joy, which he is hesitant to say he ever took for granted but will be the first to tell you he has only become both more aware and appreciative of as he has gotten older.

[boutny]

Portland to Brightlingsea with DavidP, Feb 2024 - a destination moment of sorts

Bounty has a new main mast, as from today, August 12th 2024. Goodness... however did it take almost a whole year to get that done?

The story of the mast-stepping, yesterday and today - a story of 3rd time lucky and definitely one for the theme of this blog, of learning-just-in-time ... will come in the second half of this post. I realise that I have not told the story of the passage from Portland to Brightlingsea, this February, with DavidP for crew. (Have I failed to log it because it was relatively free of lessons? ... well, there is one important one, about David getting cold. But that too is for a bit later, though as a teaser you can have the picture of our 2nd dawn, just offshore Broadstairs.

A weekend in February finally came that had good winds from a generally North Westerly quadrant and when my diary was clear. It would be cold but good. David had been in touch around the New Year. We had met at last year's Hui in Devoran and he had enjoyed a sail on Boutny. He wrote to wish in the New Year and added that he'd be very happy to crew again. I told him the plan, and he was eager to join. We had one false start - a weekend with Sibby turned out to be a priority - and again more waiting for weather.

Our track in red - at least for the time I had Qtvlm on. The squiggle on the Eastern tip of the Isle of Wight represents a night with the tide against us

I got down to Portland on the night of Friday 9th Feb. The marina is a nice place, and the staff are charming. There are, as usual, some wonderful live-aboard people and brief encounters: the young family just returned from the Caribbean and waiting to spend the winter in Brittany, visiting grandparents. The older boy - perhaps 9 - was an obsessive fisherman, the younger brother a reader, and the sister tagged along. I thought a lot about Suzanne Heywood's story, but obviously said nothing about it (hint, the characteristically subtle Daily Mail headline is, all bold and caps: "My cruel mother and selfish father stole my childhood and nearly killed me by making me sail the world with them for 10 years: Lady Heywood reveals how she overcame a traumatic upbringing to get into Oxford and forge a brilliant career"). There was Finnian McGurk, a wonderful performer who has quite a following for his folksy Scottish sea ballads in the South West. He came by and invited me to breakfast at the marina cafe on day 1 and remembered - charmingly and at some length - a boyhood by the sea on the West Coast of Scotland - my ultimate destination, I said to him. There was the self-proclaimed "Bumbling Sailor", one of those people made for YouTube and solo-sailing ... and, in some sense, I feel, a kindred spirit: he loves the chronicle of a good mistake, as does this blog...

So the experience of marina life since end October was good ... except the prices! As each month ticked by without being able to coordinate a return, I would wince at how much it costs just to tie up in a somewhat empty marina. As an economist, I am used to thinking that competition should drive prices down to cost, and that when there is spare capacity, as there is in most British marinas in the winter, when many owners take their boats out of the water, that price should essentially be just above the running costs of the place ... ie not much. When this does not happen, it is my professional deformation to work out why. And in case any of my ex-colleagues from the competition authority should be reading this post, can I suggest that they look at Private Equity cornering of the market in berths on the South Coat... (I know that few will shed a tear for anyone with enough spare cash to be sailing ... but maybe this is part of what keeps sailing a relatively exclusive sport. Also ... I'd be fine with a sailing boat tax that went to the public purse ... but a Private Equity tax? really? A Scottish Limited Partnership, one of the most secretive corporate vehicles there is...)

Leaving the marina, therefore, for all its good experiences, was a relief. I had done a quick repair job on the aft starboard porthole ... the engines controls were still misbehaving, but there was not too much wind and I felt reasonably confident that the exit would be OK. Which it was, though not wholly uneventful... (a motor cut out as I was turning, leading to an unusual number of forward-reverses to avoid touching the beautiful boats on either side. David thought I had kept my calm admirably - it is always good to reassure a new crew-member).

We had overslept and missed the recommended tide window. But the sun was out, the wind and tide fair - at least a first, and life was joyful. A raven alighted on our mast as we left Portland harbour, and David thought it was a good omen, perhaps even a bird inhabiting the spirit of James Wharram. I was happy to concur.

The tides really are complicated around the headlands, the Isle of Wight and generally in the channel. They flow to the East and ebb to the West. If you squint at the qtvlm trace (I did not have it on all the time because of the trouble I have recharging the so-called rugged Samsung Tablet whose USB port is hyper-sensitive to the damp) you can see a squiggle off the eastern tip of the Isle of Wight. That was more or less night 1: just enough wind to keep us heading into the tide, sometimes losing a bit, sometimes gaining a bit ... and all the while working to avoid the fishing boats. It seems that quite a few of the coastal barges were at anchor, also waiting for the tide to turn.

9 kts at 9.30pm ... the tide was still on our side

That night, while seeing lots of barges and fishing boats, I found it odd that nothing was showing up on the AIS... and then it struck me that perhaps my reconnection of the antennae, when I restepped the mast, may not have held. I put up a temporary antenna, and indeed the screen soon populated with all sorts of vessels...

The next morning brought fair wind and tides. This short video clip gives a pretty good sense of the general cold dampness of the experience - and the excellent sailing conditions. At over 10 knots, we were very soon abreast the majestic windfarm you can see from the other side offshore Brighton.

Here is what keeping warm looked like, that day. I had on a few lower layers - some lycra and some woollens. Then, on top of that, a full body drysuit - excellent at keeping the wind and the damp out. Then a very nice cashmere scarf Rehan and Elena had given me for Christmas, easy to pull over my head ... for my hands, some old Decathlon ski touring mittens that allow the finger tips to be exposed or not - great for rope-work ... and all-important, for my feet, I had sealskin socks - really amazing for warmth and dryness - and some cheap winter rigger boots from Screwfix that do a really good job of grip, waterproof and warmth.

Visually, the most stunning part of the passage was arriving at the 7 sisters and Beachy Head in the late afternoon, just as the tide was turning. You will in fact count 8 peaks - the sisters - and not 7 ... the explanation is that they were named that before erosion of the Sussex chalk hills revealed another ridge, and birthed the 8th sister.

The tide turned just as we were rounding Beachy Head... so we had plenty of opportunity to admire the cliffs in the evening light...

A spitfire pilot appeared in the evening light with its throaty engine. David pointed out that this felt like a homage to Ravilious.

The wind as once again sufficient to keep us moving, but only just. It is odd how much difference it makes to morale to see the land moving past or not ... the movement through the water, of course, is identical and the sailing remains good, even into strong tides. We edged closer to Eastbourne as darkness fell, and all that was left to do was to wait for the tide to turn.

In that dying light, slowly winning against the foul tide, David told me a bit about himself and his family. A story that went from Ulster after WW1, to Canada, to Los Angeles where his grandfather had turned his wartime experience into becoming a successful photographer ... to his grandmother's return to Britain and a house in the South West ... his father, the brilliant academic in finance, and David, fascinated by cybernetics. He talked about vitamins and vaccines (we did not agree on everything) and how a career in pharmaceuticals had made him dubious of many medical claims. There is nowhere like the deck of a boat, having shared the practical work of steering a safe course together, to share stories and perspectives in a spirit of generosity. Just as the recipe to having the best meal there can possibly be may well be: "expend exercise to reach a place in nature; eat what is at hand" ... so the best recipe to enjoy the solidarity and closeness of your fellow human might well be: "sail together 24hrs ... talk".

The wind would continue to be moderate, but always in the right direction. Whilst the tides flow towards Dover in the Channel, they ebb away from Dover in the North Sea ... so if we can hit Dover at High tide, we may be able to make Brightlingsea at High Tide on Monday, around 2pm... That is the plan and at this point it looks feasible.

The sailing was excellent. We had one moment of properly anticipated excitement that I felt just a little proud of - is my seamanship improving, or was it just luck that the call turned out right? A small storm cell appeared to the aft. It seemed a way away. But who knows - it could come onto us and might be violent. So we took down the foresail ... and 15 minutes later the squall was upon us. Whistling wind and rain, and it passed in another 15 minutes. So the sail went back up.

The storm cell aft ... worth taking the sails down for?

The next stretch, from Eastbourne to Dover, happened between 10pm and 2am. I was sad to miss the views of Dungeness power station on its spit of shingle (where Derek Jarman planted his garden). But it was a wonderful and fast night-time sail with little traffic and that exciting sense of penetrating the darkness with every whooshing sound of Boutny surfing the swell and tide.

I was sleeping in the cuddy so that David could call out if he was unsure what to do ... which he did as we approached Dover. The pilot book asks that you contact the harbour to cross the shipping lane, and to do so sufficiently far offshore not to surprise the non-stop ferries. We did all that and plunged into the lane. The lights that get bigger and brighter are not the lights of Dover ... they are one of those monumental boats approaching. I remembered Olivier's trick: you get a powerful flashlight and light up your sails so that you really have a chance of being noticed. I could see this one on the AIS, and presumably they could too ... and the harbour had given us the go-ahead to cross ... so on we went. The city-sized lights kept approaching, so I did at one point VHF over to the ferry in question. It had seen us, and a slight alteration in course for us made us pass safely astern. All very smooth, but a good way to feel suddenly awake at 2am.

I went back to sleep - still in the cuddy, with a duvet and my drysuit being a remarkably cosy combination on a February night. I had not taken advantage of the daytime on Sunday to catch up on the previous night's sleep, and I was really tired and thankful to David for his ability to stay at the helm.

He woke me around 6am, worried that the depth sounder was showing remarkable little water under our keels - 4m, then 3m, sometimes down to 2m. A beautiful, cold dawn was rising. I looked at the charts and the tide tables, and felt pretty sure we'd be OK for depth ... but again ... a good way to feel pretty immediately awake. David was cold and I encouraged him to go into his cabin to warm up. He went down but soon came out again, perhaps not feeling 100%. But I was worried at his cold - once it starts to take hold, it really is hard to stop it getting worse. I made a thermos of hot water and encouraged him back down into the galley while the water was boiling. Little by little, he recovered. But the helming through the cold night had really taken a toll. I thought it would be important, for future winter sailing, to have some means of heating at least one of the cabins - a webasto-style heater probably the simplest. A hypothermia, even just a few miles off coast, would have been a really horrible & dangerous thing.

The technique did not get David back to being properly warm... getting inside did help, as did hot drinks...

It was a stunning winter morning to cross the mouth of the Thames. But what looks like a simple straight line at one zoom level turns into a real maze when you look closely and worry about tides and depth.

Perfection on the surface

Under the surface, here is what there was:

So take that little green structure that the boat is on at that moment - called, misleadingly, Middle Deep, if I remember correctly. The entrance to the Colne is about 15 degrees further West than my heading ... but can I cut across that sand bank? If I run aground, I will need to wait for the tide to rescue me ... and that would mean missing the window for mooring in the mu berth that Peter has prepared for me in the creek ... So I play it safe, clipping the edges of that submerged bank...

Entering the Colne and Brightlingsea Harbour in Boutny is a big moment. I had started the plan to bring Boutny from Marseille to here in July 2020, when I first visited her in Port St Louis after all the frustrations and weirdness of lockdowns.

If there are destinations in this activity, this was one, of sorts

It had taken 3.5 years, all-in-all, to get here. The way is the truth, the means is the destination, and all that. But still, this was a destination of sorts. Limping in on 1 1/2 masts and on 1 out of 2 motors, but here we were.

Arriving at Brightlingsea

And here is Boutny, tucked up in her mud berth... and next post really will be about the mast repair, and, with luck, her departure from this mud berth...

[naturecoaster]

Crystal River CatBoat Adventure Tour with Crystal River Water Sports

“Shall I bring my big camera?” I asked Mike Engiles, the owner and operator of Crystal River Water Sports as we filled out the paperwork for our CatBoat Adventure Tour. He looked directly at me. “You will get wet.” I had driven through a morning downpour on my way to Crystal River Water Sports, located just behind the Days Inn on US 19 on the north end of Florida’s famous manatee town. Was the weather following me? I wondered. “Are these boats easy to flip?” I’d seen people dump themselves from canoes, kayaks, and river tubes, but Mike assured me these uniquely designed CraigCat compact watercraft were very stable.  CraigCats are top-of-the-line, compact yet comfy powerboats and make the perfect eco-tour craft for Florida’s Nature Coast. Crystal River CatBoat Adventure Tour with Crystal River Water Sports I left the big camera behind, donned a lightweight life vest, and boarded the two-seater CatBoat beside NatureCoaster’s own Diane Bedard. The CatBoat trip we signed up for was a 2.5-hour Adventure Tour. Our guide, Mark, took the bright yellow lead boat and the rest of us boarded the aquamarine mini catamarans.   We were pushed off from the floating boat ramp like launching a kayak. “They’re like go-karts on the water,” Diane told me, taking control of the driving. The drivers were given a lesson in maneuvering around in the lagoon in front of the watersports shop. NatureCoaster Diane Bedard and Crystal River Watersports owner and operator MikeEngiles. Photo by Sally White Boater Safety Education You must be 18 or older and have a Florida Boating Education Certificate or be born before January 1st, 1988, to operate the CraigCats. We were notified of this prior to our arrival and given links to the state-approved boater safety courses in the tour email. The least expensive is $10 and lasts 30 minutes. And once you take the course, your certificate is good for 90 days. This is NOT a captain’s license- that’s a whole other ballgame. If you are a resident, you can obtain a lifetime Boating Safety Education ID Card after taking an FWC-approved course. It costs more but lasts longer. My son had taken the boater safety course along with his hunting safety course via Florida Virtual Schools Outdoor Education Course when he was in high school. It’s free to 12–18-year-olds. It was a class he could do online, counted towards a high school credit, and got him a Boating Safety Education ID Card. Driving the CatBoats The CatBoat is essentially a variation of a mini catamaran with two hulls that look a lot like two surfboards, and a central framework on top. Driving it takes two hands, much like those zero-turn riding lawnmowers. On the side is a throttle that you push forward for forward, neutral, and reverse. There is also a center stick to move the rudder to turn the boat left and right. The seats are really comfortable. It's idle speed and no wake zones throughout King's Bay to provide a safer environment for the manatees. Photo by Sally White. Wildlife in Crystal River Preserve State Park We spotted our first manatee, swimming in the lagoon. It came up for air and then disappeared with a swirl of its tail, beneath the depths. We didn’t want to take a chance of injuring it with our CatBoat’s propeller, so we made sure we gave the manatee plenty of space. We followed Mark and the yellow cat leading the way on the waterway from the lagoon. A neighborhood of houses lines one side of the canal and wild parklands on the other. A no-wake zone, it provided the perfect place to master the mini-cat driving skills and s-curves before reaching the river. We rode under the bridge to the Crystal River Archeological State Park, and entered the Crystal River Preserve State Park lands, spotting our first alligator, who sunbathed in a peaceful little cove. We motored through the canal that divides the Crystal River Preserve State Park from the Crystal River Archeological State Park on the Crystal River CatBoat Tour Adventure. Photo by Sally White. The waterway spilled into two ways. To the right was the Mullet Hole fishing spot in the preserve and their kayak launch point, and to the left was the channel that led to Crystal River. We turned left, taking a scenic ride past limestone ledges and cypress trees that lined the edges of the channel. This waterway runs parallel to the Crystal Cove hiking trail in the preserve. Turtles sunned on logs in the muddy water as we motored past a sailboat moored in another lagoon, safe from the elements. An alligator watched nearby, his body submerged, and only his head showing. Mark pointed out the wildlife along the way, communicating through walkie-talkies that we all had been issued at the start. These lightweight devices hung around our necks on lanyards but required pushing a button to talk back, allowing us to talk without airing our conversations to others on the tour. On the River The trees eventually gave way to a sea of sawgrass lining the channel. In the distance, hammocks of palms rose among the grasses to line the horizon in a scene straight from a Florida Highwayman painting. And finally, we reached Crystal River. The trees ended at a sea of sawgrass at the end of the state park channel. We could see the scenic overlook of the Crystal Cove hiking trail from the water. Photo by Sally White. Crystal River is a town, a waterway, and a state of mind. The spring-fed water glistens under the sunlight, making its 7-mile journey out towards Shell Island and the Gulf of Mexico sparkle. “This is where the fun starts,” our guide’s voice said over the walkie-talkie. “You can go full throttle out here.” He turned left onto the river and picked up speed. We followed, the last in our tour’s CatBoat line, and riding the wake of the others like a tandem jet-ski. These go-kart boats can reach speeds of 25mph!   The fresh-water spray misted us and the boat smoothly cut over the waves like a professional surfer. There was no ‘whomp’ like you get from a motorboat. CraigCats proved to be easy riders. The sun rose higher in the sky. It was destined to be another scorcher of a Florida day, but the breeze and the spray kept us cool. We both had sunscreen on and caps, but should we have needed more sun protection, each boat has a shade canopy as well. Between us, a small cooler with cold water was strapped to the deck, and behind us, a secure lock box was fitted to keep additional belongings. Onto Kings Bay CraigCat boats can run up to 25mph, the perfect speed to zip up the river. Photo by Sally White.  We sped past a trawler and up to the No Wake sign at the entrance to King’s Bay, where our guide waited to explain the next portion of our trip.  The No-Wake zones around Crystal River and throughout Kings Bay protect ecologically sensitive areas and for manatees. We followed the lead boat in an idle past Christmas Island and Pete’s Pier, where Mark gave us a run-down on the story behind the holiday-named island. The former resident of the island didn’t rely on local utilities, because, it was an island, so when the No Name storm swept through, it knocked out all the power in the area. The island lights, run by a generator, were the only lights on around, twinkling like Christmas lights in the night. Pete's Pier and Marina provided a useful waypoint in Kings Bay during our tour up the various waterways in Crystal River. Photo by Sally White. Hunter Springs & Caging the Grass We idled past Hunter Springs where families watched our colorful boat parade from the sandy beach as we curved around the second magnitude spring, one of 30 named springs that feed Kings Bay and Crystal River with its crystal-clear fresh water. Local fifth graders recently aided in planting seagrass in the shallows at the park. Read about it here. The aquatic grass is then caged with circular metal cages which are left in place until the plants establish their roots. Native seagrass provides vital food for manatees, helps water clarity, and provides shelter for the aquatic animals of the river. Save Crystal River partnered with local schools to engage 5th graders in the ecology and restoration of seagrass at Hunter Springs. Photo by Sally White. Just past Hunter Spring, near Jurassic Spring we rounded a small island of trees. Nesting cormorants filled the trees. Other cormorants and anhinga birds dried their wings from their island roosts and watched us idle past. Outside the Crystal River National Wildlife Refuge We backtrack to Pete’s Pier, an unmistakable waypoint in the bay, and take another channel under a bridge. This way leads us alongside the Crystal River National Wildlife Refuge. We reach the entrance into the Three Sister’s Springs, a crystal-clear pool consisting of three spring vents, but closed to boats. Just near the entrance channel into the springs is the famous Idiot’s Delight Spring Basin consisting of the three freshwater main springs that entice the winter gathering for hundreds of manatees. When the gulf water temperatures drop below 64F, manatees must seek warmer water to survive, and they head to the 72F springs. The springs maintain their temperature year-round, but in winter, 72F feels warm. We idled by Crystal River National Wildlife Refuge, home to several freshwater springs and the world-famous wintering hole for manatees. Photo by Sally White. These springs around the Crystal River National Wildlife Refuge are roped off during the manatee wintering from November to March, depending on the temperatures, but there are no manatees in sight here today. We idle back to Kings Bay, passing kayakers and paddleboarders, and head out of the No Wake zone for some wave-riding down the river. It’s wind, sun, and spray out here, almost like a Jimmy Buffet song. Passing the Chieftain’s Mound at the Crystal River Archeological State Park, the yellow lead CatBoat slows to turn into the channel at the Crystal River Preserve State Park and stops to wait for us all to catch up. Beginning our ride back to the launch point, we keep an eye out for the gators we had seen on the way out, but they have moved on by now. The fallen tree beside the sailboat has become an afternoon turtle haven. Crystal River Watersports CatBoat Tour boats are available for guided tours daily by appointment. Image by Sally White. Mark gives us directions on parking our CatBoats and docks up first. The next boat does a smooth park up the ramp, but both us and the other CatBoat have to try it twice, before doing a perfect slide up the ramp, much like kayaking up a launch. And just in time for lunch as well. Located at 2380 N Suncoast Blvd in Crystal River, (Behind the Days Inn), Crystal River Watersports is one of the area's most established tour operators, with over 20 years of experience. They combine their eco-tours with Florida fun. Read the full article

[ultra-maha-us]

Tamarindo, Costa Rica - Ultimate Beach Vacation Destination

Tamarindo Orientation

Tamarindo, Costa Rica is located at the start of the Nicoya Peninsula in the province of Guanacaste. It faces the Pacific and offers a long expanse of beach for sun worshipers and a consistent swell for surfers. The sand is golden and sprinkled with gorgeous little spiraling shells.

Directly to the north of Tamarindo beach is the Palo Seco river mouth and then Playa Grande, a long scimitar of beach that is also a protected park. This park, Parque Nacional Marino Las Baulas, is a breeding ground of the enormous and endangered leatherback turtle, which on average weighs 1000lbs (455kg) and measures over six feet in length (2m). Leatherbacks' nesting season is from October to March and most eggs are laid at night. This miracle of nature can be seen nightly, but you'll need to hire a guide in order to legally access the park past dusk. During the day the river-mouth between Playa Grande and Playa Tamarindo can be crossed at low tide, or you can hop on a small boat and be ferried across for a nominal fee.

Many Options for Lodging and Food

Being one of the most developed beach resort towns in Costa Rica, Tamarindo offers an array of accommodations from luxury resorts to simple cabins. There are also numerous dining options and international cuisine, including some Tours Tamarindo familiar fast food chains in case you're in need of comfort food. Despite the town's growth it is still small and accessible, without of any of the overdeveloped feel of the Mayan Riviera and other parts of coastal Mexico. But don't worry, there's still plenty of partying and a vibrant, unpretentious nightlife.

Adventures Galore

Adventure activities abound here, with surfing and fishing being two of the main draws. Tamarindo's consistent but reasonably sized surf has made it the mecca for surfers and would-be surfers alike. There are numerous surf shops offering lessons in the range of $25-30 for an hour to an hour and a half. Surfboard rentals range from $10 to $25 per day with longboards costing more.

Costa Rica fishing aficionados will be delighted by all the possibilities in Tamarindo. Species are varied and abundant, and the there are numerous sportfishing charter boats for hire. Planning your trip between the months of April and November is your best bet to avoid the seasonal high winds off the coast of Guanacaste. Despite this, the waters are teeming with billfish, dorado (mahi mahi/dolphinfish), and tuna year round. For marlin, the best months are June and July -- same for tuna. Dorado is best from June to October.

Other activity options include jungle canopy tours on zip lines, atv tours, horseback riding, and mangrove tours in the Tamarindo Wildlife Refuge. A variety of companies in town can arrange tours, including your hotel in most cases.

Getting to Tamarindo, Costa Rica

Tamarindo's proximity to an international airport makes it very appealing, especially since you don't have to pass through Costa Rica's congested capital, San Jose. Daniel Oduber Airport in Liberia (code: LIR), serviced by American Airlines, Delta, and US Airways et al, is about an hour to an hour-and-a-half drive from Tamarindo beach by rental car or taxi.

A Great Destination

In sum, Tamarindo is a great, fun destination for your Costa Rica vacation - the nightlife is great too. Perhaps it's not as 'authentic' as some other towns, but the range of amenities and activities certainly create an appealing locale to relax, sip a cold cocktail, and watch a beautiful sunset while planning out your next adventure.

[cosmicjoke]

Ah, and now onto one of the most depressing chapters in all of SnK, chapter 132.

You know, if anyone ever needed a reason to despise Floch any more, how about the fact that he’s literally the reason Hange died?  If this bitch ass ho hadn’t shot the fuel tank of the plane full of holes, Hange wouldn’t have had to engage with the Titans to buy time for them to fix it, and they wouldn’t have died.  So, fuck you Floch.  I wish you’d suffered more before Mikasa finally ended your ass.

Well, anyway, what can I say about this chapter that hasn’t already been discussed?  Probably nothing, but I’ll try my best to give my observations anyway.

This really is Hange’s chapter, and Levi’s, in terms of putting a spot light on the importance of their relationship to one another.  

Hange’s sacrifice in this chapter is heartbreaking, it truly is, and such a major blow to everyone.  But to Levi most of all, and for so many reasons.

First of all, what stands out to me is the exchange between them, after Pieck tells Hange to stop being “gross”.  What I want to talk about here is when Hange asks Levi if he thinks their dead comrades are watching, and if he thinks they’ll be proud of what they do here today.  Levi tells Hange to stop talking like “him”, meaning of course Erwin.  This scene is just heart-wrenching, and part of that is, I think, because of Levi’s reaction to what Hange is saying.  He has, once again, such a weary, resigned looked on his face, and it’s because, I think, of the parallels he sees with Erwin.  I think Levi already knows, at this point, that Hange is going to die, in some way.  He recognizes the same, fatalistic bent to Hange’s mindset as he saw in Erwin, that day in Shinganshina, the same burden of guilt.  Just as Erwin began to bow and break under the weight of all the lives that had been lost under his command, Hange too is beginning to break, overcome by despair and hopelessness at what they perceive to be their failures.  Hange expresses this outright in the scene with Yelena, when Yelena tries forcing everyone to admit that Zeke was right, and Hange just resignedly agrees, saying that it was because of their failure to come up with a plan, because of their loss of hope, that Eren’s done what he has.  Of course, this isn’t true, just like Erwin blaming himself for the deaths of all those soldiers wasn’t based in any kind of truth.  But the sense of guilt is the same.  Hange blames themselves for what’s happening now, and they say this in front of everyone, including Levi.  And then Hange says what they do to Levi, about their dead comrades, and I think this must have been like the worst kind of deja vu to Levi, this kind of guilt driving Hange towards despair and hopelessness.  He tells Hange “Don’t you start talking like him, too...” because he can’t bear it.  He can’t bear to see his last, true friend succumb to the same fate as Erwin.

And then the Rumbling shows up, and Hange refuses for anyone else to engage with the Titans but themselves.  They tell everyone “I’m the one who led us here.  I pressed on, even at the cost of so many lives.  Time to face the music.”, and it’s Hange willingly taking on the role of martyr, the same one Levi had to help Erwin to accept for himself, in order to give their comrades a chance at victory.  Hange’s selflessness here is the definition of heroic.  True, unwavering conviction to what they believe is right.

But once again, similarly to Levi’s final push to help Erwin become the commander everyone believed him to be, Levi recognizes for Hange, in their final moment together, what it is they need.  He doesn’t try to stop Hange, doesn’t try to convince them against their chosen course of action, doesn’t cry out after them.  The same way Levi recognized in Erwin the way he was being crushed under the weight of his guilt, and understood how it would be a mercy and a salvation to make for him the decision to let go of his dream and die, Levi also recognizes in Hange that same burden and suffocating sense of guilt, and knows this is a decision Hange has made for themselves, their final absolution and ownership of their past choices, and that this is the thing Hange needs to relieve them of their burden.  A way for them to bear the burden of their past choices without regret.  Hange implores Levi to let them walk away and do this, and Levi does, because he understands, the same as he understood with Erwin.

But we finally see in full view the consequences for Levi in making these decisions, in letting his two, closest friends go to their deaths for the sake of their cause.  Levi’s expression in the following three panels is one of such unfathomable heartbreak.  He looks like a man utterly resigned to losing every good thing in his life, conscious and accepting of life’s bitter injustice and the grief of loss, but no less affected by it.  Levi is in so much obvious pain here.  Not physical (though obviously there’s that), but emotional and mental.  Hange is it for him.  They’re his last, real connection, his last, true friend, his last person.  And he has to let them go here.  Both for the sake of humanity, and for Hange’s own sake as well.  It truly is the bitterest pill to swallow.  And once again, it is a desperately heartbreaking display of Levi’s own selflessness, that he lets Hange go, that he lets Hange do this thing that needs to be done, without complaint, without protest, without influence from his own feelings, sacrificing once more what would be best for him for the sake of everyone else.  Levi looks devastated as he lays his fist against Hange’s chest and tells them “dedicate your heart”.  This final acceptance of his own, tragic loss, and Hange’s own choice to sacrifice their life.

And it continues when Hange flies away, at last, and we see Levi standing with the rest of their group.  Everyone around Levi has expressions of shock, dismay, and disbelief.  They haven’t yet accepted that this is happening, that Hange is flying to their death to buy them the time they need.  They look astonished and horrified.  But Levi is the lone exception.  He doesn’t look shocked, or disbelieving, but only continues to carry that same expression of weary, despairing resignation and acceptance.  And I think what we see in Levi, in this final arc is, in many ways, the culmination of a lifetime of loss and grief.  Levi’s lost more than probably any other character in SnK.  He’s experienced the most extreme forms of poverty and depravation from the time he was born, and with the death of Hange, has now lost every, single person that he ever formed any kind of close bond with.  With Hange’s death, Levi is left finally, completely alone.  And the look of defeat on Levi’s face throughout this entire arc is, I think, reflective of the affirmation he must feel, of the cruelty and injustice of life’s indifference to the suffering of everyone.  Every experience in Levi’s life has driven home to him the lesson, again and again, of the unfairness and cruelty of existing in this world.  And the events of this final arc, Eren’s betrayal, Zeke’s manipulations and cruelties, the deaths of so many comrades, the Rumbling, violence and destruction and allies turning against one another, and finally, Hange’s death, can only solidify for him the hopeless cynicism he’s fought against all his life, the awful comprehension of life’s brutality.  With Hange’s death, Levi is made to face once more what he’s always, deep down, known, which is that to exist in this world is to suffer with no purpose.  

And yet, still, Levi fights on.  He accepts Hange’s death with all the pain the loss crushes him down with.  He tells Hange goodbye, and asks them to “Just watch us.”.  Because even with the affirmation of all of Levi’s greatest despairs, he still finds a reason to make the fight worth it.  To realize the dream they all fought for, the salvation and future of humanity, and through the realization of that dream, to give meaning and importance to the lives of all those who have died in that dreams name, and meaning and importance to the lives of those yet still there.  Levi refuses, still, to give up, refuses to accept the futility and insignificance of people’s lives, even as he’s so ruthlessly reminded again and again of it.  And it’s in Hange, I think, that Levi finds that strength.  Because Hange also refused to give up.  Like they told Floch as he bled out, “We still can’t give up.  Even if we fail here, now, maybe someday...”  Maybe someday, life really will get better.  Maybe someday, people won’t have to suffer so much.  Maybe someday, there really will be a point to all of it.  Even in the face of total despair, Hange and Levi both found reasons to keep fighting.

Also, just some smaller observations about Levi’s physical state, and what it also says about his determination to not give up, but also about his perception of himself.

Levi is doing BAD here.  I didn’t notice this on my first read through, but when they’re all gearing up with their ODM gear, Levi is the only one sitting down on a crate, while everyone else is standing.  We see earlier in the chapter, when he leaves his room on the boat, he can’t even stand without the support of a handrail on the upper deck, or Armin’s arm around his shoulders.  And then when we see him testing his grip on the handle of his ODM’s blade, his hand is visibly shaking.  Levi’s physically too weak to stand on his own at this point, too weak to even hold his blades steady.  He must be in absolutely horrific pain.  Probably dizzy and lightheaded, probably nauseas even.  He’s FAILING physically.  On the verge, it seems, of collapse.  The fact that he’s even up and making the effort to move is something of a miracle, let alone that he’s prepared to engage in intense, physical combat, which just a short time later, he DOES.  That’s remarkable, and such a testament to Levi’s incredible will and unwavering conviction to fight for humanity.  He’s dying.  I think literally, he’s extremely close to death, genuinely frail.  But he still is ready and willing to give his all.  I think, over the course of the few chapters before this one, it must have been horrifically hard for Levi to sit by and watch as everyone else risked their lives to fight.  This isn’t something Levi is used to, being helpless and unable to fight for others.  He isn’t used to letting others take the risk while he stays back.  When Levi comes out of his cabin and Armin tries to convince him to go back to bed, Levi snaps with impatience that if he keeps resting, they’re all going to forget he even exists.  This reveals a lot about Levi’s perception of himself as someone who needs to make himself useful in order to matter.  As a tool to utilize.  He feels useless and like dead weight if he isn’t able to fight, and so, even on deaths door, he pushes himself to do just that, to become a weapon to be used in the coming battle.  It’s heartbreaking, to see Levi regard himself this way, even as it proves his incredible devotion and heart.  Once again, his own well being takes a backseat to the cause of others.  His health is secondary, in his mind.  For someone who always shows so much compassion and kindness and understanding for others, it makes it doubly heartbreaking, to see that Levi can’t manage the same compassion for himself, can’t give himself a break, or a pass for his weakness.  That he can’t allow himself that vulnerability, or for others to fight for him, even as all his life, he’s done nothing but fight for others.  

[boatdrivinglessons]

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[nickblaine]

What's your interpretation of Lawrence's motives in the last scene?

it’s all chess moves, baby.

so, Lawrence is extremely pragmatic and is always looking at the big picture. that means ending the war with Canada. and he’s going to achieve his goal at any cost, including meeting the trigger-happy Commanders halfway and letting them bomb the rebels in Chicago.

though Nick and Lawrence are similar in ways, this is where they couldn’t be more different-- Nick’s focus is on protecting his loved ones, while Lawrence’s is on “doing the right thing” and achieving peace. that puts them at odds with each other when it comes to June.

so i saw the Chicago bombing as Lawrence teaching Nick a lesson in his own twisted way.

as we saw in the first meeting, Nick is still relying on his survival instinct by compartmentalizing to the extreme. keeping his head down and playing along with Gilead has gotten him this far, it’s what works for him, and he’s going to keep doing it.

however, it's not a sustainable way to live now that he’s in a Commander role. it’s all fun and games when he uses his position for June’s leverage, but he also has to make choices that directly contradict his humanity.

Lawrence sees this. he sees Nick’s unwillingness to rock the boat unless it serves June, and that makes him a weak ally when it comes to his own goal of ending war.

so by pushing Nick to coordinate the bombing, he’s pushing Nick to see real, tangible consequences of having power-- and as a result, the bigger picture beyond the scope of June. this will, in his mind, "toughen” Nick up and make him more willing to put aside his feelings and do what’s right for everyone next time, not just June.

and you can see it pains Lawrence to have to take such drastic steps-- just as it pained him when he had to bring in Hannah to break June. but Lawrence, at his core, is capable of making the hard choices that no one else will, because he has nothing to live for and his humanity is so far gone.

however, i have a feeling Lawrence’s actions are not going to strengthen his allyship the way he expects-- but will instead drive Nick to eventually defect. because unlike Lawrence, Nick’s humanity outweighs his pragmatism.

[moudschegiebchn]

Best woohoo spot in all of the sims games.

Lengthy rambling about ts4 aspirations vs. ts3 lifetime wishes (and a lot of other stuff) under the cut:

today sunday i also realised just how lazy ts4's tutorial like aspirations made me but I have to go a bit into this: with ts4 you sort of climb a ladder to receive the goal of some extra trait, yay right?! (ugh) Along this journey you're directed to do exciting stuff like "eat a coconut" or "play with your child x times", depending and varying of course on which aspiration you choose. But they tell you exactly what to do. Every step of the way. But in ts3 the only description I have is "[…]set sail, brave the high seas, and dive the deepest oceans.[…]" and that's it. The ultimate goal for Silvie's Lifetime wish is to own all uncharted islands. Yesterday I was sitting there, rather frustrated because it felt like I'm not making that much progress and she's only 10 days away from aging into an adult. (normal lifespan) This morning it hit me: it's because there's nothing there laying every little step out for me. I have to actually explore the game to find out how I'll be able to get to one of these island let alone own one. Or have a look at the lessons which are actually useful in this game! I've never looked at the ts4 lessons because i didn't need to. AND it's called Lifetime wish for a reason. Because it's huge. Your Sim might not reach it. In order to do so you have to put in effort. Of course that may change if you've played a lot of the game. But that frustration last night is on me, not the game. I'm always so annoyed with aspirations in ts4 because I feel they're so easy. Most of them get done just by simply playing anyways. The only time I struggled was in the LEPacy with Criseldis but otherwise? Nah. But that's exactly what I'm missing with Sims 4: exploring. Even with Expansion Packs it often feels like i have pretty much seen everything after playing for 1 - 2 days. That might not be true but that's how I feel. It never feels like there's a reason or like there's much to do, you know? I know this is partly my fault but not all of it.

on that note: no easy-peasy lifetime wish changing! it costs 10.000 reward points to do so. personally i like that more because you actually have to think about the wish you're giving your sim

mermaid kelp costs 25.000 in ts4 you get that for lousy 500

uncommon shells don't lie around all over the place and i have yet to find a rare one

the first non-glitchy mermaid underwater!!

routing is sometimes weird but overall okay so far

letting the camera follow your sims while driving somewhere or going by boat is lagging SO MUCH so it's kinda pointless doing it although that's the appeal of the open world hfsdkl ._.

i know a lot of people miss the open world but i'm not one of them. it takes so damn long to go anywhere! please give me teleportation and loading screens back

i think what could work as a compromise is having an option to let sims directly teleport from one place to the next if you choose directly from worldview but if you do it by first clicking on the vehicle of choice you actually get to see them driving there? though idk if that's even possible

maybe you could mix the latter option with the only partly open neighbourhoods from ts4? that you get to see them drive similar to ts2 but instead of them disappearing after two seconds because that's where the lot ends they drive until they reach the point sims couldn't go any further due to restrictions. does this make sense?

not a fan of this hole "oh you reached a new cooking level! you can buy more recipes at the bookstore!" nope, not at all

the non-working mod for the pause frame was not the culprit why underwater caves don't work again but i managed to work around it, wheee

i know i'm nine years late but it makes me SO angry that they never fixed the caves!

despite being an active sim of mine Matteo is just kind of there. he has to fend for himself and so far managed to not starve himself to death. way to go Matteo!

people needing help 10 minutes before Silvie's shift ends - the audacity!

diving skill level 6 and she's still only able to scuba dive at two spots, none of them is the mermaid grotto

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT I REFUSE TO CHEAT MY WAY UP

it'll probably be disappointing and not what i'm expecting (a secret mermaid liar where i have the option to somehow turn my sim into a mermaid or alternatively find a cute male mermaid and start the baby making)

[amarantine-amirite]

I Believe In Collision Courses

I found out I was going to Sailing Camp when my dad brought home a life jacket. He asked me to try it on and see if it fit. "OK, where's this coming from?" I asked

"Elaine, let me explain," he said, "Your Aunt Ruby saw something on the news about how the rocking motion of a sailboat on the water helps autistic kids' brains quiet down"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked,

"Anyway, she asked me if you'd like adaptive sailing, so I told her we'd give it a shot."

I shrugged my shoulders, "OK," I said, "Works for me". I had no clue that it would be completely different than what I expected.

I quickly learned that those news articles about autistic kids who benefited from adaptive sailing didn't tell anybody about the 49 other people on the spectrum that got funneled into mainstream sailing programs because they were too high functioning for the adaptive program. They also didn't say anything about how crowded the mainstream program was. The yacht club in our area offered families financing options to cover the cost of lessons so that meant that they took in more kids than they had space for (because there's no point in providing financing if the kid doesn't get a space in the class). The result? They had 20 kids in the program, but only five boats.

Usually, you're supposed to learn how to operate the tiller and the mainsail at the same time, and then you learn how to operate the tiller and both sails. They didn't teach us that. They emphasized working as a group and they put everyone in groups of four. One person drove, a second operated the main sail, and the other two handled the sail at the front. To stop us from getting over-specialized, they expected us to take turns. To make space for more people on the boat, they removed the extenders on the tiller. The person who drove had to sit very far back. The boats had seats on the side, so you had to look over your shoulder to see what was in front of you. If I wanted to see where I was going, I had to sit in this awkward position where I faced forward but had my arm behind me. Coming home with a sore shoulder was not uncommon.

I didn't get along with the kids in my boat. Darren and Marcus would rock the boat while I was driving. They would also push the mainsail against the wind whenever I operated the mainsail, let the jib out without securing it, and try to sink the back end of the boat.

Theo wasn't any better. Theo would gag loudly and whine incessantly about how seasick he was. Every time we got on the boat, Theo complained that he was on the verge of throwing, something he finally accomplished on the Thursday of Week 2. He didn't even feed the fish; he threw up on me.

I tried to ask Vicky (one of the coaches) to put me in a different boat, but she just ignored me. All she said was, "Marcus, I know you're checking the coach boats for keys. Get out of there!" She then turned to me and said, "Stick with your group, Elaine. You will learn a lot from them."

She wasn't wrong. I learned that you can count on your crew to either be idiots or throw up on you.

On the Monday of Week 4, before everybody rolled in, I saw Marcus successfully locate the keys for a coach boat and take it out for a spin. Twenty minutes later, both coaches noticed that someone took one of the coach boats. They took the other boat and went to chase down Marcus as we finished rigging the sailboats and got them out on the water.

After I got on the boat, Theo and Darren prepared to board; but didn't. It soon became clear why. I saw about seven other kids pile onto the dock and start jumping up and down. As the dock begins to submerge, kids already on board exit the boats to stand on the dock to sink it further.

Both coaches and Marcus returned to an unwelcome sight for a couple of preppies who had to chase down a problem child before he tied up a shipping lane: the other kids submerging the dock. "Guys," Vicky barked, "there are things that we don't do in Sailing School. Whatever this is, it's right at the top of the list." The coaches pulled the boats to the submerged dock, "We want all of you off the dock, or else none of you are getting your levels! Nobody! Zilch!" the other guy (I think his name is Jay, but I could be wrong) said.

Darren jumped off the end of the dock into the water. "OK, Darren," Vicky scolded, "That wasn't even remotely funny!"

"But you said get off the dock," he smirked.

Both Vicky and Jay stopped to fish Darren out of the water. While they were busy chewing everyone out, I unhooked from the tow line, raised the sails all the way, and left. So long, suckers!

I quickly realized how good I was once I got out of the harbor and out into the water on my own. It's a lot easier to apply what you've learned when you aren't fighting off bratty 10 and 11-year-olds every six seconds.

I thought about staying close and doing the Pac-Man course like the rest of the class, but something changed my mind: a text saying that my new bras were ready for pickup at the Vineyard Vines in New Haven. I had an awesome, new plan: leave the yacht club at Guilford, head west, then go north and up to New Haven.

I can't say enough about the surge of confidence that sailing up to New Haven gave me. The wind shifted, turning a simple tack turned into an out-of-control slam-gybe. I didn't care. It left me racing south at 45 mph, I didn't care. I got bounced around on the whitecaps which made me feel like I was riding a mechanical bull, but I didn't care. I knew that I just had to keep calm and turn around.

The wind shifted again just before I could tack. This time, I got airborne. I want to say that I ran aground, but I didn't hit the ground: I hit a 5th-floor apartment somewhere on Long Island.

I stood up and assessed my situation. The boat had scratches all over the hull. The mast got bent into a question mark. The doors on the balcony were toast. The boat was in some stranger's living room, but I was OK.

I heard the door open. A realtor and a client showed up. "Oh, hey," I said, "You're home early".

"We don't live here" the realtor clarified. She reminded me of Suan Ross' mother in Seinfeld.

"I know, I was just screwing with you," I chuckled. I pulled out my phone and started making a video, "Hey Dad," I began, "if we're still looking for a condo in Long Island, I found somewhere nice." I panned to the crashed boat, "It needs a lot of work, but if you get the boat out of the living room, you could get a lot of use out of the space."

The client laughed. The agent did not. "The boat is in the living room because you put it there!"

I nodded. I'm pretty sure that what I did will force the condo to rethink its slogan. "Sail on in, you're home". And then someone did.

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

so i’ve been off-handedly referencing amrod having a wheelchair and burn scars and using sign language for a while now, and i figure i should get my headcanons re: him getting lightly toasted down fully somewhere? the twins in general have grown really strong really distinct personalities in my mind, i  wanna talk about them at some point, and since those topics inevitably bleed into each other i’ve decided to cover them both at once

first off: the crispening. i don’t think fëanor was trying to burn amrod alive - i actually read this post once that posited he’d caught wind that amrod was planning to go home and set the boats on fire partially as a panicked attempt to stop his son from leaving, he just had really unfortunate timing - but no matter the reason, halfway through fëanor and maedhros’ marathon argument someone notices they’re missing a guy. most of what the fëanorians remember of that night is fire and screaming, no one’s sure how they got amrod off the burning ship, but once the fire’d burned itself out he was in the hastily-erected medical tent, barely clinging to life

(for the hellspawn as a collective that whole boat episode was existentially terrifying on multiple levels. they gave up everything for his sake, but somehow they never thought he could hurt them)

amrod survives, because he is a calaquendë and whatever else you might say about them the valar did not skimp on the supersoldier budget. even so, his body is marred for the rest of his life. a significant portion of his left side is just solid burn scar, all the smoke he inhaled has massively fucked up his throat, his left arm is mangled, he’s blind in one eye, and his legs straight up can’t support his weight any more. if they were in valinor they could probably have fixed all this, but in beleriand they have neither the spare resources nor the time. the harrows of war will inevitably carve themselves into your very being; another lesson middle-earth is beating into them

but they can’t turn back, and anyway they’re noldor, they can work around this. if amrod’s legs can’t carry him, they’ll build him crutches and wheelchairs and specially train a horse to carry him around. if it hurts too much for him to use his voice regularly - well, they already had sign-languages back in valinor, since just because someone can’t speak doesn’t mean they should be cut off from the wonders of self-expression. amrod does have to adjust the one he ends up using to account for his left hand’s reduced range of movement, but he takes it up with appropriate flair and aplomb. there is panicking, there is pain, but amrod still refuses to give up. as they get further away from losgar, he reaches - maybe not a perfectly balanced state, but a sustainable one

(fëanor feeds the ensuing guilt to the sunk cost fallacy - If We Succeed In Our Quest, Telufinwë’s (i go by pityafinwë/ambarussa/minyarussa/amras and telufinwë/umbarto/nelyarussa/amrod, i know it’s not the canon formulation but it makes logical sense, fight me) Suffering Will Have Been Worth It. this is, of course, crazy person logic, but the only person with a hope of driving that into fëanor’s thick skull is currently in the halls of mandos. least amrod doesn’t have to put up with it for long)

time passes, and the fëanorians split up into their traditional groups to go do that whole terrifying warlords of east beleriand thing. amrod and amras wind up commanding a string of outposts scattered around ossiriand that amras is pretty much constantly circling through while amrod shuttles between the ones who need the most supervision. that’s always been their dynamic; amras is the excitable brash one who never shuts up and does lots of moderately stupid things, amrod is the sharp-eyed reserved one who thinks everything through and does a few incredibly stupid things. he talks more with his hands than he ever did with his voice, politely in sindarin and snarkily in noldorin

for a while, things are good. amrod’s bevy of mobility support devices and animals slowly evolve into a self-piloting war chariot, because not even losing the ability to walk is going to stop the boys from doing murder. he’s more of a tactics guy anyway, gets very into animal traps and firebombs. amrod does all the stuff amras lacks the patience to do, while amras does the things amrod isn’t spontaneous enough for; they both think they’re the one doing the real work, as is usual among the brothers hellspawn. they disagree often, they fight sometimes, but they always have each other’s backs. they cover for each other’s weak points, balance each other out, and from the shadows beneath the trees they lead their minions in raiding and subterfuge and mad science

then things go south, like the war. things don’t change that much for the twins after the bragollach, there’s just more fighting and caranthir’s lot being annoying, but it gets much worse after the nirnaeth. suddenly they‘re having to deal with all of their brothers and their minions stomping around wrecking everything the orcs didn’t already get, and everyone is at everyone else’s throats as it becomes increasingly obvious they’re going to lose the war. amras and amrod argue a lot more these days, partially because they’re both stressed out anyway, but partially because their partnership is breaking down under the strain. for all they’ve worked together, there are vast differences in the way they see the world, and it’s just so much harder to bridge the gap when everything they ever worked for is crumbling around them

but they try. they try until doriath, and it all goes to hell. rejected by their old allies, stuck in the same fortress, their last two brothers too busy with their own problems to act as a buffer, amras and amrod lash out at each other constantly. they understand the way each other’s mind works, know each other’s every horrible little secret, and grow more and more disgusted with each other every day. they go from working together with the tiniest hint of hostility to long passive-aggressive arguments about the most petty stuff to refusing to enter a room the other one is in unless they absolutely have to. when negotiations with sirion break down, amrod, ever the pragmatist, cooks up this plan to steal the silmaril with minimal losses on either side. before he’s able to convince maedhros it might work, amras, ever the idealist, rides his forces out for hope and glory

i don’t think amrod switched sides at sirion - the amrod who snuck onto the boats would have, but he’s a much worse person than he was then. still, i can’t shake the image of the twins dying on each other’s spears

[myeyesarebrighter]

I’ve unpacked more about this family bday vacation idea from BFF.

I don’t think this is a bday getaway. I think she wanted a bday getaway and then tried to repurpose it to family vacation. I also think it sounds bad because there would be expectations that the kids “can use the kid services,” which is ok for big kids. They can swim, take lessons, golf, and fun shit. And for a toddler, it means dropping him off in daycare. Where I’m paying for a flight and all inclusive fees for him to go to daycare. Oh and I’m paying for his normal daycare at home, too. And I don’t know these people, neither does he, so it sounds stressful and uncomfortable and like I’d be worried about baby trafficking the whole time. He’s cute. 🤷🏼‍♀️Meanwhile the big kids would come back from archery, laughing about their fun day, and my kid will have skipped his nap, cried for several hours, and he clung to me like Velcro for the next 29 hours.

I’d rather travel to a low cost but family comfortable option - one without activities, which wasn’t all inclusive. I could cook Mac n cheese for the kids, then order nice delivery after bedtime while we sip cocktails on the balcony. The days will be slow and filled with sandy time under an umbrella, mid day siesta with the little guy, and maybe a day or two with a rental car to cruise around an island looking for an empty beach. Maybe a day trip on a big catamaran with a beach bbq where people would let my kids try to drive the boat.

I dunno. We are just in different phases of life. That’s ok. I’m not mad or even sad, but I’m not sure they’re going to hear my feedback without having their own feelings. I can’t control their feelings. I can book a day or weekend trip with BFF, and then let them do whatever tropical thing they want. My 4some have a lot of fun and operate so well together.... it’s almost less fun with other people!