#blutz

[elf-kid2]

So. Crack AU for Helluva Boss!

-Pre-Show(ish). I.M.P are doing Assassin Stuff in Hell, Moxxie & Millie are newlyweds, and Blitz is trying to think of creative ways to improve business and make them stand out from other groups providing similar services.

-Prince Stolas is getting a Divorce! Because it's Hell, and he is Royalty, there are some Bullshit Magic Rules to follow: In order to get his preferred Custody & Division of Assets, etc, he's going to have to go through 7 UNIQUE TRIALS, each one devised by one of the 7 DEADLY SINS!

-(The 7 Trials is one of the reasons Goetia hardly ever get divorced.)

-Asmodeus, who's for a lot on his plate and isn't especially fond of or well acquainted with the repressed Prince, consults with Fizzarolli for ideas for a Trial or Quest the put him through.

-Fizzarolli, who has been drinking with Verosika, and who recently saw a commercial for I.M.P while chanel-surfing, suggests a plan that involves setting Prince Stolas up with Blitz. He thinks it would be funny, and also lead to entertaining anguish for both parties involved-- which is part of the point of the Circus of 7-Trials Divorce Court!

-Asmodeus decides to go for it!

.

Stolas, who won a Bidding-War (and provided a Prophetic Consultation on Future Investment Strategies) at Mammon's behest, completed a Race/Fetch-Quest for Queen Beezlebub, and did 1 Month of Mediated Marriage-Counselling Sessions for Princess Charlie in Pride, isn't sure WHY Asmodeus is pairing him up with the sexiest imp he's ever met in his life for this Trial, but he's determined to win against Stella (and her assigned-by-Asmodeus datemate) in this competition as well!

-Blitz would like to know why HE of all people is involved in this mess, and also, what's the catch?!

-Blitz always thought that if Fizzarolli were going to try and get him killed (for very understandable reasons), he'd use some of that $$$Big Star Money$$$ to order a hit like a normal person. There's got to be SOMETHING wrong with the Prince, right? A wall full of decoratively-mounted Imp horns, some horrible and/or horribly dangerous faults or vices... Something. Because Fizzarolli hates him, and there's no WAY there isn't a catch.

-Moxxie, Millie, and Loona would also like to know how the Hell Blitz got involved in this mess. It's bad for business, probably! Also, it's a WEIRD SITUATION!

-Anyway. Stolas and Blitz having to do some kind of Lovey-Dovey Reality TV Bullshit Quest/Competition against Stella & HER assigned Plus-One, because the Powers that Be thought it would make them entertainingly miserable.

-But they are SURPRISED!

[flshtwo]

bad luck

[allsf5irinlove7war]

Gas Mask fitting 1940

[kendall-sangchan]

Trap life

[thepakipaki]

[pursuithathappiness-blog]

[best-bluntz-vendor-chick-blog]

Mee