#block me over this i dont fucking care
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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Holy shit I love that this community is so supporting of chubby characters! The horrors of fat phobia I've seen in other fandoms is crazy especially the regretevator discord server the mods there are just scary..
EXACTLY!!!! like obviously theres still gonna be those people that get some violent rage and hatred over seeing someone draw a character fat but ive noticed theyre mostly.. a minority in the phandom? not even a VOCAL minority i just barely even see them and ngl its actually really refreshing
#not a confession#mod sword#also do not get me started on regretevator i genuinely hate that game/fanbase#from the razzytism situation (banning a fat transfem for drawing fat characters for *checks notes* art she unknowingly reblogged on TUMBLR)#to generally being very.. annoying to the whole mspec lesbian debate (i will go on record and say i dont really give a shit i have a job#and medical appointments and a license to get caring abt identities is a very low thing on my list of priorities) INCLUDING LIKE.#IVE SEEN SCREENSHOTS MOCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE CHILL WITH *HE/HIM* LESBIANS! THE PRONOUNS!!!! WHO FUCKING CARES#DID WE REGRESS 20 YEARS DO PRONOUNS NOW MEAN GENDER AGAIN!!!!!!! FUCK!!!! rlly do not like regretevator or its fans im#just there for bive#WOW sorry for the rant i have very strong feelings over a roblox game pretty please dont block this account i super promise i wont bring up#regretevator again just to be a hater i prommyyyyyy you can trust me#(i really dont care if other people enjoy it live and let live im just personally not a fan yk)
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anyway 4 alive people doesnt justify over 200 dead
#palestine#fuck zionism#and fuck zionists#no not jews#idc 90% whatever i refuse to believe 90% of jews support ethnic cleansing and genocide#zionists are getting blocked#israel is killing in the name of zionism ofc people are going to hate zionists#if there really is zionism that is exactly like my views then i dont fucking see it#all i see is right wingers#all i see is racists#all i see is people celebrating over 200 people dead just bc they got 4 ppl who were well taken care of#i am so fucking mad rn#the person i was talking to that i presses their beliefs blocked me and normally i wouldnt care#but it felt like it was civil enough. we differed in some things but then its obvious they dont give a shit#cant tell me why palestinians are prisoners not hostages? cant tell me why 4 ppl justify over 200 dead?#cant tell me how bulldozing olive trees in the west bank isnt part of the conversation?#I really fucking tried i really fucking hoped#that maybe there was something missing that really theres zionists who believe what i believe#which would mean coming together and bridging a gap thus influencing people#god im too naive#anyway#any day now israel is held accountable#i hope to hear statements from the hostages. glad their ok i guess#hard to care#when theres thousands of palestinian hostages they who come back looking dead#fuck israel
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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also yes to be mean but the gothic lit fandom is reading it in droves because "it's so bad" and they treat this book with an alarming bigotry to hypno fetish ratio as a so-bad-its-good movie as if they were immune to anti-asian propaganda? in this day and age? on the heights of a new red scare yellow peril combo and with antisemitism and islamophobia on the rise???
do you not think this isnt tickling your brain a little? do you not think this miiiight affect how you interact with more subtle propaganda pieces?
do you not realize, maybe the victorians preferred this book to dracula because, like you, they like the sensationalism in it, the ridiculousness, the sheer bigness of it all, and believed it fully?
"nooo its a bad book its badly written and stupid don't read it haha" why are you reading it if its so badly written and stupid. do you think i can't see all the artwork of Robert Holt in a maid costume. do you think I'm fucking stupid lol. you tasteless idiots don't dare put Richard Fucking Marsh's The Evil Arab Tranny The Beetle on the same category of impact as Dracula, Frankenstein, Carmilla, Dorian Gray, Jekyll and Hyde- for all the problematic content in the gothic fiction classics, they're classics -considered masterpieces!- for a reason.
there is a reason nobody remembers the Beetle
and it is because it fucking sucks in every possible way
and the fact that this fandom is reading it en masse not to analyze it not to make fun of it not to put the extremely obvious racism that how-the-fuck-did-you-miss on blast but to gush over Victim Of Reverse Colonization number 4585 and make fun of his sexual trauma...
why are you guys scratching your heads confused wondering why did the beetle outsell dracula? its racister than dracula ofc the victorians loved it
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whenever someone has a long dni list i sometimes read it purely for my own entertainment. and then turn it into a game of am i on the list or not (90% of the time when i am which is quite often, its for being a dream stan or proship lmao)
#whats funnier is that i dont even ship anything 'problematic' lol. i just sincerely dont care if other ppl do bc its not my business#anyway uh. i was thinking about this bc i literally just got jumpscared for the first time on my alt#encountering a phannie with dream stans in their dni. and it was an aim.sey stan ☠️ i just laughed and blocked. whatever...#im glad i came to tumblr bc it made me realise that u have no control over who interacts with u and thats ok. just block who u wanna block#and it never has to be a big deal. this is the goddamn internet#in conclusion. no i will not read your fucking dni. and if i do i wont be taking it seriously i'll just be laughing at it if i'm on there.#another one of my multifandom woes that no one asked for
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hey yall, if someone you care about says they're going through a crisis or had an emotional breakdown, the basic fucking thing you can and should do is ask if they're okay 👍🏽
#im not asking for a lot and this is not hard. its what friends do when they care about each othee#& if you truly wanted to be my friend you'd care if i was okay#im soooooo tired if this. that shit pissed me off so bad#im not saying you need to emotionally babysit me or solve all my problems. i just want you to ASK. for fucks sake#like wtf? if my friend said 'ive been struggling badly' first thing i'd ask if whats wrong? how can i help?#anyway. mfs are getting blocked if they do this shit from now on. dont gloss over my issues just because u wanna fuck or whatever#annoying.#vent post
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this is gonna sound a little mean but idc, i have literally never been in a more self absorbed fandom than the m*rio fandom. im literally begging u people to learn how to have conversations that arent just talking incessantly about your own projects and thoughts. please for the love of god learn how to listen to the people ur supposed to be conversing with and actually acknowledge what theyre saying im gonna turn into the fucking joker
#this may be surpisungly but people dont often like being talked as as if they could be replaced with a lamp!#and then having their stuff completely ignored bc they have served their purpose (being a wall to talk at)#fandom is supposed to be about COMMUNITY#not hundreds of people shouting into a void#and the people who do actually listen getting complely walked over and taken advantage of#watching this happen to people i care about dearly is making me chew the fucking walls#like for the love of god read the room.#luke rambles#if anyone wants to fucknig argue abt this i will block u im not in the fucking mood. have some damn self awareness#alos it goes without saying this is not about any mutuals ur the poor bastards this is happenig to ily
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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Ive officially exited my " oh God! I don't wanna get called out and harassed by the mogai community! I value this community but I hate all the inner policing! I'm so scared to say anything and accidentally upset people, I'm just gonna be quiet and hide" era and entered my " fuck off, get blocked and glocked. Im here to post flags and identities and that's fuckin it. I litterally don't care anymore, nothing you say is based in reality or matters outside of this horrendous site. No one is thinking about any of this other than you and like 500 other people, if that, so I'm not apologizing for shit." era so watch out for the debris.
#clover speaks#i dont care anymore lol#ive been really quiet for awhile but honestly its not worth it#if i piss you off cause i stood up for myself or said something that wasnt worded in your perfect little ways#just take your ass and leave#if you genuinely care about all the little shit you have lining your dni about inate online identities that will never see sunlight#you have bigger problems than me saying something on this webbed sight that dosent 10000% align with everything you've ever believed#im not clarifying anything this is not a safe space its a blog with flags and identities#you will have to face people who disagree with you in your daily life and cope with it#btw this wasnt particularly started by anything and isnt a vague or anything about any muturals or something#ive just decided finally that i dont care anymore and im just gonna do and interact with what i please#and if you stick around great#enjoy that#if not you wont be missed#bye 👋🏼#im just gonna start blocking people who say stupid shit that makes no sense for my mental health#i cant handle half this shit and i dont really need to so fuck it lol#im here for flags your here for flags who gives a litteral shit about identity 3748394747393847373838#no one will physically even say it irl because its so obscure#i will still call out people for doing stupid shit but im leaving this stage and making my own#fuck all that noise have fun and fuck off doing so#btw im not abandoning the community im still gonna make shit lol and so will sunny and ink#its just with alot less nice words and being pushed over
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🤪😵💫😤😡🤬☠️
#i just want my ex to leave me aloneeeeee#bro we havent spoken in over a year and a half!!!#he sends me messages on various platforms (and hes blocked on all) every few months and 2 in the last couple weeks#i have NEVER responded ONCE#like TAKE A FUCKING HINT#he wants to have a “civilized adult conversation” about something from forever ago that i dont care about#itll just make HIM feel better#like how he refered to me as “plumpy” to his friends when we first met but told me 3 years later cause “it really bothered him”#DONT TELL ME THAT WHEN YOU KNOW I HAVE BODY ISSUES#THE FUCK MAN#this is the 10th message or so and im just over it#like leave me the fuck alone#i swear on my dog that im not that great
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❤️🩹
#𓊆ྀི vent.txt 𓊇ྀི#fuck the both of them honestly#one disrespected me and the other abandoned me#yet i still have an attachment to one… someone free me#can’t i just move on already????#also gonna throw up knowing they touched him that night i’m like 98% sure of it#what the fuck is wrong with the both of them#maybe it’s a good thing i’m keeping ur ass blocked. wack ass mf#my bpd is telling me u dont care cause u havent gone around it but i know ur crying screaming throwing up over me so :)#anyways!#moral of the story?#don’t fall for cishet men
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It's funny how my psychiatrist and psych nurses are all so supportive about my as of yet undiagnosed physical issues and do their best to keep those in mind when we discuss my care. Meanwhile GP and qualified doctors either tell me to "not compare my googling to their medical degree" or go all "yeah EDS sounds quite likely actually but there's no point diagnosing that since it cannot be cured anyway"
#the fact that eds + pots + fibromyalgia ALL run in the family doesnt matter apparently#throwback to last year when visiting that side and someone not even related who was there took ONE look at me and sibling and went#''omg you really ARE related!!!'' after they saw our fucked up overy bendy joints#i guess i have to pay for having unusually good psychiatric care compared to most lmaoooo#would have been lovely to know whats wrong though before the painful surgeries#im incoherent cause my pulse started racing to the point i couldnt form words or even stand#its calmed down now but i feel so distraught over recovering from psychosis finally#only for my body to break down even more#i dont know how to not feel despair and hopelessness#im so tired of the pain and exhaustion and not being able to do even basic things#so tired of staring at my ceiling so often because i cant even lift my head#i should make a specific whining tag because i should shut up about this but i cant#idk what itd be thougy im too sad and upset rn#im sorry#silvi talks#<- can at least block that if tired of my yapping#im open for tag name suggestions#maybe ''silvi is crying screaming throwing up'' lol#idk
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The huntlow ship is blander than flour and has less chemistry than tap water from a white suburban neighborhood. But because it involves an angsty white boy, 70% of fans, who needed to have the words "representation" and "subtext" taken away until they knew how to use them properly, immediately started foaming at the mouth to beam their self insert into the brain of willow park to be hunters tradwife, neoliberal edition.
#not including main tags bc this is just me grumping#shut up pandora#<=i dont care if you copy most of my tags but if you copy that one im blocking you and i hope you get swarmed by bees#this is a huntlowphobic blog btw if huntlow shippers wanna be oppressed so bad ill do it#if you follow me and like huntlow good on you but im blocking the tag and anything to do with the tag#and if you try to say huntlow things at me unless youre one of very few mutuals i will assume you have bad taste and ignore it#basically i saw a poll today for a 'best tumblr couple' contest and huntlow was winning over fucking DESTIEL#destiel? the homophobic gay love confession? the 15 years of buildup? the breaking news template that weve been using for 2 years now?#i dont even know about supernatural and i know destiel it came free with being a tumblr user#and its being outvoted by a ship where they...stand next to each other?#and...had two conversations over the course of 10 episodes?#and...have random blushes where it doesnt fit?#sorry guys! your ship is bad and so is your taste!#there are a select few hardcore shippers ive come across who actually get their personalities right#but for most of you? this aint it chief
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damn living here really does suck
#logbook#'going to a block party!!' its the neighborhood block party. not invited.#i hate having to park across the street bc they arent leaving space anymore. and oh you can tell us to move. why dont you just move then??@!#my room is an absolute living hell and mess. i dont even know how to begin to organize it i'll probably just. throw stuff together and cart#it over once we're approved.#and then last night it was like. lets go to a karaoke night! our dog has separation anxiety and abandonment issues and barks and whines the#whole time we're gone but we're not home so its fine. . .except its almost 10 at night and we have a roommate. but fuck our roommate.#if i start sleeping at rents it feels like im giving in but. i feel like im going crazy and asking for too much to be like. hey man.#im a person here too. 'csn you handle the dog while we're gone to a block party' SO ITS MY FUCKING FAULT?? IM A CHILD NOW?#my whole room at rents is taken over by all their shit but i really am tempted to just. only come back here to pack and couch surf.#im just going to be told this is how it is now and 'so you dont want to be friends'? lord help me#if i didnt have jael i wouldnt be so concerned. or the plants. but i have both so i have to come by frequently enough to care for them.
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