#blitzen has a line

[cabinofimagines]

Undead at Dusk

hehe the plan is finally planning, although i did not take my time writing this Word count: 1k Pairing: Platonic everything? Ig, gn! reader Warnings: New cast introductions, -Asnyox

After the movie marathon you were beat- however at least you could sleep in for the day. However, your sleep was mostly cut short when Nico worriedly shook you awake. 

“Look, I know you have been hiding something- together with Leo and Jason.” “Ghhrh,” you sleepingly sat up as Nico continued his story.

“Why are there dead beings coming closer, (Y/n).” Nico asked, squeezing your shoulder, “How did you even manage to raise the dead?” “The what?” You blinked twice, and saw Will peaking over Nico’s shoulder, “the automatons aren’t dead.” You said, before you gasped, “I mean, what automatons? There’s an automa-TON of fun to be had. How late is it?”

“It’s nine,” Hazel spoke up as she stepped next to Nico. She put a hand on Nico’s shoulder. “I don’t know what automatons you’re talking about, but there really are undead coming this way.” Hazel looked at you pointedly. 

“Why do you guys think I have something to do with them?” you sighed, “Fine, I’ll get up and we can go take a look. What’s the difference between undead and dead anyways?” 

“Not important.” Nico scoffed, “hurry up so we can prepare for the worst.” 

“Why are we going all the way out to fuck knows where for a Halloween party?” Mallory glared at Magnus. “Because I didn't feel for ‘Halloween to the death 101’ this year.” Magnus told her, “Besides Annabeth and Percy will be there, and Blitzen has business somewhere around here.”

“I for once agree with this decision,” Alex said, “There’s nothing like forgetting you’re technically dead by celebrating Halloween.” “I am excited for this! I haven’t ever before celebrated Halloween outside of Valhalla.” TJ was grinning, “Besides, I am loving this costume thing! I’m dressed up as a Brit!” he laughed as he once again looked over his costume. 

“Okay, but where is this waystation? I feel like we’ve been walking around for hours by now.” Blitzen said, “I have things to do and would like to do so before the party starts.” “We’re not lost, are we Magnus?” Alex looked pointedly at Magnus. Magnus gulped. “I’m sure we’re going in the right direction!” Magnus looked around, “We should be there any minute now.” 

You had been ‘hunting’ for the undead all around the Waystation, mostly trying to avoid the areas where you had noticed automaton activity. You had the small hope that perhaps these undead would show up, fight the automatons, and both parties would perish in the end. 

However, nothing seemed to be roaming around. Nico and Hazel both were on edge- clearly they could feel something approaching. The closest you got to finding a threat was Klaus, who was snooping around for some reason (probably trying to hide from Percy). 

Meanwhile, the Waystation was decorated, all your demigod friends were there to attend, and costumes were being put on by most. Annabeth seemed to be a bit on edge, as apparently her costume was delayed, whatever that could mean. If anything- people were all hyped about the costumes, for there was a contest to be won. Yet, your head was occupied with something else as Leo and Jason quickly approached your little group. 

“Hey, (Y/n), you busy?” Leo was gasping for air. 

“Uh- sort off,” you side eyed Nico, “We’re trying to find some undead.” “Oh cool, so not busy,” Leo grabbed your hand, “Let’s go!” 

Before anyone could react, Leo had whisked you away. Jason turned to Nico and Hazel. “Where have you looked for the undead?” he asked, “Maybe they’re outside- where it’s safer than in here and whatever. You should go, and look, and uh, we’ll send (Y/n) to you when they’re free, cool? Cool." Jason turned around to follow Leo and you. 

The party was almost starting now- and Nico and Hazel went outside. What were you up to? “You can still feel them coming, right?” Hazel asked and Nico nodded. “I just don’t see anything. No skeletons, ghouls, ghosts, no nothing.” Nico sighed, “maybe it is just the dead acting up since it is Halloween. I should check it with Leo and his moms later on, just in case, having this many unresting spirits in a place is often just a disaster waiting to happen.” 

“Perhaps it is time we go and join the others at the Halloween party.” 

Nico turned and quickly pointed his sword at the undead- 

Unbothered, the green haired girl blinked at him and asked, “Oh, you guys know where the party is?”

“You’re dead.” Nico answered her question, and she smiled. “Is that a problem? Because I can make it a problem if you make it one.” 

“It’s not a problem.” Hazel quickly said, “We do know where the party is, uh, are you invited?” She looked over the group of people- some more clearly in costume than others. 

“My cousin, Annabeth, invited us.” the blonde in the group answered, “We’ve been looking for this uh, ‘waystation’, but have been unable to find it.” 

“And we’re running late,” the most well-dressed of the group said, “There is so much I still need to do. Please tell me you can bring us to the waystation.” 

Nico looked behind him, at the waystation, as Hazel looked at them confused. 

“It’s right here?” she pointed at the building. After a moment, the group seemed to all see the Waystation in its full glory. Whereas there was a clear mix of relief and anger on the faces, nobody commented on the appearance of the building. 

“Thanks, let’s go.” the well-dressed person said as he adjusted his backpack and walked forward, mumbling about what he still had to do.  

A moment after the group left, Hazel turned to Nico. 

“What are a couple of undead Bostonians doing here?”

“Celebrating Halloween, apparently.”

[starshower1215]

Blitzen and Hearthstone Headcanons: Backstory Version

Blitz loved learning sign language because he knew that you had the other person's full, unwarranted attention. If they did not want to speak with you, there was an incredibly easy out, and he never felt as though he was forcing them to pay attention to him or being pitied.

At some point along the lines, Hearth will stand up for (or has already stood up for) Blitzen against Eitri Junior, as a parallel to when Blitz stood up to Alderman for Hearth. They protect one another against their bullies.

Blitzen has anxiety that mirrors that of Hearthstone's.

Blitz has a lot of insecurity when it comes to his body. He has always felt bigger, taller, enormous and clumsy, like he was a giant from Jotunheim in the tiny realm of Nidavellir- literally and metaphorically worlds apart.

Blitz's insecurity about his build also plays into his inability to craft under pressure. Pressure is known to trigger self criticism, which in turn, tricks him into telling himself that he's big, he's an oaf, his stupid, thick fingers will mess up the tiny, intricate parts anyway, so why even make much of an effort?

Hearth used to make him more insecure because, by comparison, Blitz was stout and clumsy with his hands, whereas Hearth was willowy and graceful in his motions.

Though he was bullied for hanging out with his dad so much as a child, Bíli was the one part of him that he was not ashamed of.

Hearth needed a lot of reassurance from Blitzen after learning about his mother's death.

Blitz took Hearth out to try everything under the sun when he realized that Hearth never had the freedom (or money) to try them for himself.

Hearth can read Blitz like a book, despite Blitzen's attempts to hide his pain, and makes sure to compliment and fawn a little over all of Blitzen's creations, even though he has no clue what he's doing.

Living on the streets brought them both back to a bad place where they were almost never safe- Hearth in his own home, and Blitzen in his own world.

Hearth could not sleep unless he was with Blitzen, and Blitzen could not sleep unless he was under a roof. This proved to be very complicated.

For a long time, Hearthstone had a difficult time sleeping in his pure white tanning bed of light. When Blitz figured out why, he decorated the inside with lots of colors for Hearth.

Hearth used to get overwhelmed when there was too much in his vision; too many people, too many images, too many colors.

He was also made uncomfortable by any rug in Blitzen's Nidavellir apartment. Carpets were okay, but rugs- especially colored rugs- were not.

[moominvalley-state-of-mind]

head canons for drawing styles! yayayya:

(not a ton of charicters are on here cause i didn't think they would draw/im not sure what their art style would be)

percy jackson: all his drawings somehow look like they were made in mspaint and half awake

annabeth chase: diagrams, but when she dose draw someone (like percy or sally) its very sketchy, like Role Dahle's drawings

piper mcclean: that grungy alt style with the long eyelashes

leo valdez: realy only dose diagrams, and said diagrams are mainly made up of basic shapes and stuffs but when he dose draw people its the worst stick figure you have ever seen

frank zhang: very cartoony, simmiler style to We Bear Bears

hazel leveque: charcoal drawings, also kinda realistic (i think its cannon that she dose charcoal, or knows how to)

nico di angelo: realism, but focuses more on landscapes than people

magnus chase: stick figures

alex feirro: like annabeth and leo, most of her drawings are diagrams but i think his style is kinda art-nouvoe ish

mallory keen: is simmiler to a lot of fashion drawings from the 70s, but i think its also kinda resembles ND Sevenson (the person who origonaly made Nimona)

t.j.: realism. while he didn't have much time to draw in his life, i like to think he did it as often as he could and took some classes on art during death. no basis for that one, but i think hes also good at pixel art.

halfborn: has a range of styles, but mostly relies on a semi abstract one

blitzen: fashion stylist, gotta get things down quick, so i think his style is full of shapes (all styles are but whatever) and kinda scratchy.

hearthstone: kinda loopy and sketchy, some how one line drawings

carter kane: realism, but i think it would be cool if he did watercolor too. him doing lanscapes sounds interesting too

sadie kane: scean 2000s drawing style with the square mouths and pointy teeth

EDIT:

holy moly how did i forget about rachel dare

i think she also had a realistic style, but its like. 1800s or 1700s realism. and she defenetly has alot of diffrent styles like halfborn

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 8/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN

PART EIGHT

                He hadn’t recognized him.

                Until Jake had said his name and Bradley had looked at him properly, he’d not been paying attention, just seen another man dressed like every other cowhand, his attention focused on Machado and Bassett working with Rueben and Natasha. Except then he’d looked, and of course Jake looks comfortable on a horse, relaxed even, but he’d also looked tired. He’d felt a flare of concern, wondering whether Jake should be up and riding before reminding himself that Jake is by far the more experienced one in regards to his riding ability and he’d kept his mouth shut. Mostly. Except for the terrible sounding innuendo about Buttercup being a smooth ride. Which he hadn’t meant as an innuendo but it had sure as hell sounded like one to his ears after he’d said them out loud.

                Ah well.

                Too late to worry about it now and he can avoid Jake Seresin and maybe prevent making a further idiot of himself. He doesn’t know when Jake got in, because there hadn’t been any sign of life at his trailer last night. Not that he had been looking. He groans. Okay. He’s being an idiot. Just because his mind has decided to set up camp in the gutter and give every turn of phrase an absolutely filthy innuendo. Of course, watching Jake ride, his legs spread over the back of the horse, thigh muscles visible under the denim of his worn jeans makes him think of Jake straddling him and this is not an appropriate train of thought.

                Fuck.

                It’s going to be a long couple of months.

…            …            …

                He’d hoped, apparently in vain, that seeing Bradley be good at something that Jake was better at would hopefully dampen his fascination with the other man. Except as he watches Bradley ride, as he talks with the others about the planned falls. drags and jumps, his hands gently brushing the velvety soft noses of the horses as he talks to them, it’s the same as before. He had really thought that maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as last time.

                He continues riding around the arena, Blitzen clearly wanting to keep moving and he just lets her go, lets his body’s muscles memory take over, glad for it because his eyes are fixed on Bradley and his team, working with Javy and Callie so he can at least pretend he’s watching them all rather than focusing almost solely on Bradley Bradshaw. He hears his name being called and mentally shakes himself, shifting slightly and Blitzen follows the lead and he’s guessing his dad has been working with her for her to respond so easily.

                “Hi.”

                “Jake, hi. I’m Anna, one of the executive assistants. Jennifer sent me to check in on Javy and Callie’s progress. What do you think?”

                “They’re looking good, especially considering Javy hasn’t ridden a horse before a couple of months ago. Bradley and his team have obviously been working a lot with them.”

                “Yeah, you’re right, they’ve definitely been building up their skills. Javy and Callie are looking and feeling pretty good about riding now, huge improvement from a couple of months ago. What about you? You going to need more time in the saddle, as it were?”

                “Give me a couple of days, but I should be fine. I rode every day last time I was home, I’m not that out of practice,” he says, gesturing at Blitzen who snorts at the sound of her name.

                “Good to know. Look forward to seeing you in action. You let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.”

                And there it is, a definitely flirtatious line thrown out and he smiles tightly and shakes his head minutely, because even if he’s not got any immediate plans to act on his attraction to Bradley, he’s not going to enter into anything with anyone else. That just wouldn’t be fair.

…            …            …

                He finds himself watching him, eyes tracking him, and he becomes aware that he’s being watched right back. He’s not imagining it at all, even Natasha and Bob and Rueben have given him knowing looks and fuck working with friends who know you too well, because they’re all far too amused for his liking.

                He doesn’t sleep with people, not fast and dirty flings, not anymore. He’s grown out of that. Actually, now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t really recall Jake Seresin ever being known as a serial dater. He’s… either happily single or happily in a relationship, no being seen around with a different person from week to week. Huh. He hadn’t really thought of that when he’d been doing his little dive into his past. Of course, he’d been focusing on his past, not his current dating life, except it’s usually the gossip he hears without even trying. And yet he’s still heard nothing.

                It’s later, after lunch and he’s heading back into the stables, needs to get ready for an afternoon of working through the actual stunts with Natasha and Rueben while all the actors go and read through together, now that everyone is actually here, filming can start in earnest. The stables are almost empty, one cowhand sitting in the corner reading a book, hat tipped down over his face enough that Bradley can’t make out who it is. He knows one person has been tasked with brushing down the horses between the morning and afternoon riding so that the job is done properly, and he’s glad that the care of the animals is paramount. He’s taking Buttercup out again, having gotten used to riding her in the last couple of weeks.

                “Aren’t you a beautiful princess hmm? Still as gorgeous as the day you were born…”

                It’s a low Texan drawl and his skin prickles at the sound, which is ridiculous because over half the people around him in the last two weeks have got the same accent. Then he looks and Bradley trips over absolutely nothing as he realizes that it’s Jake. Jake with the low drawl. He hadn’t ever heard Jake with anything but a standard Californian accent. Hadn’t realized while talking to everyone around him here that Jake might have the same accent as them. None of the videos he watched actually had him talking, and all the films he’s been in have been the same sanitized Californian accent people seem to get from living in LA and needing to get speech coaches to make themselves as appealing as possible to the wider market. But Jake is of course Texan and he’s in his home state surrounded by people with the same accent… the movie is set in Texas and he knows Callie and Javy have been working with voice coaches to get their accents right, but Jake just needs to… revert to his roots.

                Bradley’s never had a thing for accents before. Not that he's noticed anyway. It’s going to be awkward if it becomes a thing for everyone who has a Texan accent. He’s already got a thing for Jake, piling another on top of that is like adding a cup of sand to a beach so he hopes like hell that it’s solely Jake’s accent that he finds appealing. Jake in general he’s already dealing with. Or not dealing with, depending on who he asks.

                “You okay there Bradley?” Freddie asks, and he’s looking up from his book and Bradley can recognize him now he can see a face and he nods.

                “Yeah, uh, just wasn’t paying attention.”

                Freddie just gives him a nod and goes back to his book. Bradley looks back to Buttercup to find Jake watching him and he realizes he’s not going to be able to avoid him, not on a movie set that they’re both working and living on. Okay then. Avoidance is out, so ignoring it as best he can, is in.

PART NINE

[papercutsunset]

death on a dusty moon

999 words of pigslop about a bad boss being mean to comet buckminster, a heart attack, and a ship crash for @flashfictionfridayofficial. i miss fttc and i wish i had the spark to write something more full-form for it tbh.

The sirens won’t stop sounding off. One more misstep and she’ll crash The Tiverton. One more shrill moment and she’ll puke. 

Comet can think of a thousand things she could have done better— least of all paying attention. She tosses the book onto the seat and takes up the controls, trying to steer away from here. All the chiding in the world won’t fix this; she does it anyway. If only Comet Buckminster knew how to stop talking, stop getting absorbed in her work, and pay attention. If only she knew how to pull herself out of this mess before— 

The cockpit door slams open; Comet’s shoulders tense; and the voice of Captain Gerda McKinley comes shattering out over the screaming alarm and her descending shadow. “The hell is this? I was sleeping, fuckwit.” 

“I— I’m sorry, Captain. Something malfunctioned— We were traveling at faster-than-light, like you said to— And then we tried to jump out to Albyltian Five, like you said, but it chimmied up and now we’re here— I think we got clipped by a piece of debris, or something from that last skirmish didn’t get repaired correctly—”

“You mean you didn’t repair it correctly?” She steps into the cockpit, barely big enough for the two of them, towering over Comet. “When you repaired it back on Evis?” 

“I did what I could,” she squeaks. 

“Evis is a nothing planet. And you’re a nothing mechanic.” 

“I’m a medic.” It comes out just as soft. It isn’t often that she feels her size— small, skitterish, nothing— but she has felt it more and more often over the past month and a half of work here. Dr. Hadzic never made her feel this way, and he was six-foot-five and half as wide. Blitzen never makes her feel this way, and he’s her big brother. Captain McKinley is full of the horrible truth— so why shouldn’t she crowd in and use that as a threat? Why shouldn’t she use what’s at her disposal? Why shouldn’t she use fear to halt an ever-moving tongue?

“I hired you as a one-stop shop. So do I need to repeat myself? Wasn’t fixing the hull your job? Do I need to dock your pay?” 

“We can try something else,” Comet stammers, palms itching over the controls. She leans into the glass and peers out the window. Forward, she decides. Forward toward the planet in the distance; toward the ribbons of some sort of dust in the place beyond; toward stars blinking like streetlamps lining the street.  “If I can get this ship back on course, then we can land on that moon, there— it’s abandoned, but it’ll work— and then I can fix any damage to the Tiverton and to the FTL drive that I might have missed—”  

“You’re running out of opportunities to say things I want to hear.” 

“We’re running out of opportunities for me to fix this.” 

“I have an idea.” Captain McKinley muscles her way into the spot Comet’s trying to occupy, handling the controls with more grace than her shoulders would imply she possesses. A bit of sweat transfers when her shoulder hits Comet; and when Comet’s shoulder hits the wall.

Captain McKinley doesn’t announce her moves. It’s unnecessary. She was always going to stop on that abandoned moon; she was always going to slam the nose of the ship into the soft, gray dust covering its ground; and she was always going to, in the aftershocks landing, whip around to glare at Comet with nostrils flaring. 

“You are going to fix this,” she seethes. “I’m going back to sleep. I’m tired as hell, all your ship-jostling made my chest hurt, and looking at you makes me want to puke.” 

Narrowing her eyes just slightly, Comet considers that while scampering to gather her tools and breathing apparatus. “Is your chest tight?” 

“Stop asking me stupid questions.” 

“It’s an important question. Captain McKinley, if your chest is uncomfortable and you feel—”

The captain stalks off without indulging her, covertly rubbing at parts of her middle-back. “Just fix the drive. I want off this moon by the time I’m awake.”

Fine, Comet decides. Ignore the signs of what’s happening. Ignore what you did wrong. Shitass fucking captain. She should just hijack the ship and leave. 

She’s not going to do that. 

With tubes pumping oxygen to a mask over her nose and mouth, body covered by protective layers of cooling garments, insulation, and synthetic polymers, and her face covered by a gold-coated plexiglass visor, she looks out at the universe beyond her. It’s so beautiful and still from here. Why would she rob herself of its enchantment by working for a woman like Gerda for a moment longer? The stark stillness of this abandoned moon? The stars she has learned to love and navigate beyond it? The very principles of science that govern it? 

Fuck this. She’ll go work for Blitzen before she works for this woman again. Being self-sufficient isn’t worth this. 

Fixing the FTL drive is easy enough. She tinkered with so many of those for extra cash as a side hustle during her medical training that it’s like second nature to her. Fixing the hull is easier, even if her fingers are less dextrous with the spacewalk suit’s gloves over them. 

The easier part is walking into The Tiverton and finding it quiet. Finding it halcyon. 

There’s a reason for that, she finds, as she heads to the captain’s quarters (so much more resplendent than her own). The captain is still; breathless; and, when Comet raises her wrist to check, without a pulse. 

She chuckles once, harsh and short. Maybe Captain McKinley shouldn’t have ignored that heart attack. 

Fine, Comet decides, trying not to grin. There is an experiment she has wanted to try. Reconstituting a body? Bringing the dead back to life? How shall she do it, she wonders? 

Must she know right now? She has all the time in the galaxy and nobody to report to.

[the-casbah-way]

things i'm still trying to process two days after watching the first robbie the reindeer film:

blitzen and vixen canonically fuck offscreen following an unabashedly horny exchange where vixen says 'if only someone would stoke my fire' to which blitzen responds, in a voice so dripping with lust that the sheer memory of it rocks me to my core, 'it'd be rude not to', which would be a bizarre turn of events even if this wasn't a kids film, because these two have almost no interaction or chemistry before this scene. there are no feelings here, they're literally just horny and that's it. it doesn't impact the plot in any way, nor does it really crop up again later in the film. the director literally just wanted to let this audience of children know that blitzen fucks

after blitzen says he's going to fuck vixen, it INSTANTLY cuts to blitzen sprinting full speed up the stairs with vixen nowhere to be seen. i guess we're supposed to assume that she's already upstairs waiting for him, except in the scene where they were talking she's literally sprawled out across the sofa miles away from the staircase blitzen is standing beside, which just makes it look like blitzen drops this flirty line on her before immediately turning and running away which is incredibly funny to me

i also need to follow this up by saying that this borderline sex scene comes directly after blitzen walks in on robbie sobbing over a portrait of his dead father and then kicks him out of the reindeer lodge in the middle of the night during a snowstorm. the emotional juxtaposition here is so jarring and the fact that blitzen does this then immediately goes and gets laid is, dare i say, icon behaviour

for some reason there is a scene where the elves somehow attach robbie onto the end of a forklift truck and use his body to lift toys onto the sleigh. i still have no idea why or how this happened

blitzen literally uses performance enhancing drugs on screen and is later forced to do a breathalyzer test, after which santa disqualifies him from the reindeer games. again, this is a children's film

the old man reindeer proposes, completely out of nowhere, to the old man elf, in a scene that lasts approximately five seconds and is never addressed again. these two characters barely exchanged any dialogue before this proposal

there is a yeti who is best friends with a snowman, and when the snowman pisses him off he literally threatens him by saying 'don't make me bring out the space heater' and then slowly starts melting him to death. it's barely even played off as a funny gag, because the snowman seems genuinely terrified and is essentially begging for his life as he is forced to look down upon his own body turning to sludge beneath him

whilst robbie is in the middle of running the reindeer race, which is (as far as i can tell) supposed to be the entire Big Climax of the film, he becomes aware of the fact that the elderly reindeer has somehow become trapped under his own house(?) and just runs off the race track, picks the house up to free him, and then runs straight back again and continues racing like nothing happened. i have no fucking clue why this was included because it didn't change or add to the plot in any way shape or form

literally every fucking two seconds in this film something insane happens out of nowhere and then is almost immediately dealt with, and none of it has anything to do with what i assume is supposed to be the main storyline. in fact because the film is so short and tries to fit such a huge amount into that time, the main storyline is essentially lost beneath the array of batshit occurrences happening over the top of it, to the point where i don't think i could sum this film up in a sentence even if i wanted to

the girl reindeer have boobs. this isn't that crazy because i think by this point we're all used to overly sexy-fied female anthropomorphic creatures in kids films, but what really gets me about this is that the 'boobs' are just tiny little half-spheres stuck on top of models that are identical to those of the male characters. someone really looked at the male design and went 'how do we make it obvious that this is a woman' and that's what they decided on

[deadrayg2mf]

Dead Ray's Nightmare Gauntlet: Melanie Nyx

I don't even know where to fucking start with this review. I knew going into this that I was in for a bad time. I was just unaware how bad of a time... "Never judge a book by its cover!" Well, I should have, and harshly at that. This won't be a long text post of my written-out thoughts and summary like the other reviews as this is a six for one since all the books are generally less than 30 pages (the longer ones are the ones with three books crammed into one) so I will just list them from worst to best with bulleted points, but to start; a small list of things that spanned all the books.

All dicks that are not tentacles are as long as the female leads forearm and as thick as her wrist.

The use of "virgin asshole."

Saying the dick or tongue reached places previously untouched.

Juices running down thighs and into ass cracks.

Different, but ultimately, the best tasting cum to exist. (TBH it all sounded like it would send me running to the bathroom as fast as a glass of milk)

Mind control??? Like there has to be??? I simply cannot be convinced that upon laying their eyes on, what appears to be the average size, a giant dick all of a sudden, each female lead is down to clown.

Badly and shortly written smut, all bad porno scripts, like really bad, I'm talking even bad porn producers would throw these in the reject pile.

Reigned In by the Reindeer Man 0/10

Trigger warning for attempted sexual assault and overall, general nasty man.

Starts out with her in what I wish wasn't a common situation for woman but, unfortunately, most definitely is with a disgusting man being disgusting towards her

Pervy Santa she works with gets aggressive, chases her through the mall attempting to assault her, she runs out into traffic and almost gets hit by a truck (truck-kun almost coming in for that isekai save)

Oh Whoa, she gets whisked away by something furry and antlered

It's Blitzen

but like

a ten-foot-tall, super muscular and humanoid Blitzen

You'll never guess how huge his dick is, because it is out and demanding

Would have definitely dubbed this a noncon situation if, at the very last second, she hadn't decided that giant deer dick was worth getting a taste of

Blitzen's cum tastes like all the best parts of Christmas if you were wondering

He also goes down like a champ, and plows like a champ, just an absolute beast in the sheets (◔_���)

Laughed at the line "you invoked the Santa"

Blitzen does take offence to being called Vixen - he's kind of a douche tbh

Bad

Given to the Groundhog God 0/10

Trigger warning for potential pedophilia and rape being an aspect

A smutty, fantasy Hunger Games rip?

That line about odds being in favors is pretty fucking close

And the whole drawing names until your 18 and free from the selection

Um

Pedophilia?

Maybe?

Definitely nothing is said to not make this potential claim invalid

It says that woman are in danger for their first 18 years from getting their names drawn

And later the Groundhog God makes it clear he's gotta bone 'em to get their life force

I think

Crime was committed

If not pedophilia, definitely rape

So... disgusting, all the crime ones get 0's

She volunteers for her sister whose name gets drawn and goes for her (female lead is 21) to the Groundhog God

Oh, btw, it's fucking groundhogs day :|

She is entranced by his groundhog god dick

Turns out she's his mate (thank god he doesn't have to take any kids to fuck ever again)

She turns into a furry groundhog lady

Gag me with a spoon

Lusty Lost Souls 1/10

Girl who had three boyfriends who all tragically died on their way to a high school dance is facing her fears and returning to hometown ten years later

Oop, former classmate wants to kill her cause she still blames her for their deaths

BOOM, dead, how? They're ghosts or fog monsters or something along those lines

Now that main girl is back in town their all riled up and ready to get back in the sheets with her/protect her from the people trying to kill her

If I had a nickel for every time someone tried to kill the main girl, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

Anyways, after the second attempt made by former classmate who was in love with her, the boys make their appearance (this is the end of the book btw)

They then have a steamy (foggy?) fuck session and her old high school best friend watches from the sidelines but really just see's fog envelope the main girl and then all of a sudden she disappears forever

Not sure if she like died and also turned into fog or what happened there

It was boring

Tentacle Games 1.5/10

Just a horny squid games rip

Three books in one

They all sucked

This televised event where people compete for money but if they fuck up they get dragged off by tentacles

If you pay a subscription you get to see what happens backstage ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

It's sex... they get fucked by the tentacles

That's it...

The third book is the scientist who created the horny tentacle monster getting fucked by one

The other two are just contestants on the show (losers)

Shout out to the size queen in the second one... though size isn't exactly hard to come by in any of these books :|

Groped by the Grinch 1.5/10

Her name is Holly Jolly

The Grinch is an invisible being that just gropes people probably

She can see him because she harbors true holiday cheer

Canon mind control in this one, but the Grinch chooses to seduce her the old fashioned way

By taking her clothes off and rubbing his giant grinch dick on her

At least this one has embellishments

There's Christmas lights under the skin and they spin when he gets real jazzed

The Grinch is ripped, absolutely shredded, complete babe magnet (if they could see him)

Ass of a god

Missed the chance for the perfect rip from the movie with the lines "You're the... the... the" "the, the, the, the Grinch!"

Absolutely wasted opportunity (but if you can get sued for that then I get it)

Also has Christmas cum but not the same as Blitzens'

The first, and possibly only, one we get a kiss in I think?

How romantic of Mr. Grinch

It was bad, still really really bad, but better than some

Seduced by Santa's Elves 2/10

Literally had to google the title to make sure I got it right and the 5th search result was pornhub (・_・ヾ

Jumped the gun and messaged multiple friends that this book was Santa getting cucked by Mrs. Clause and his elves

Was incorrect, kinda

Santa did get cucked by Mrs. Clause BUT it was with the easter bunny and the female lead of this is actually his sister

So, Santa leaves to go deliver Christmas presents, Mary, the lead, goes to her room to get frisky with her toys and Christmas themed porn that does not involve images of her brother (apparently hard to come by - someone direct her to previously listed Christmas books)

Dildo, hilt deep, oh what's that? Mary feels her breast get fondled?

Elf

Three elves, eventually; Bowie, Snowie, and Tinsel

Don't worry, their names are unimportant because not even the author could keep track of them

In one paragraph, Bowie's getting head, Snowie's going for that virgin ass, and Tinsel has touched places previously untouched with, you guessed it, a ginormous dick

In the next? Bowie is balls deep, Tinsel is at the back door, and Snowie is suddenly restricting her air space...

Literally consecutive paragraphs

Honestly, the dick size is unprecedented and frankly uncanny for these being three-foot-tall furry gremlin like things that are not at all reminiscent of the cover image

They also have Christmas cum... but not like Blitzens or the Grinch

BTW they have her bound and hanging above her bed with curtains

The only male characters who aren't shredded beefcakes?

Maybe the author just missed her chance at getting Mary to lick Snowie's washboard abs

Call me a scrouge but this fucking sucked

Amityville Tentacles: The Series 2.5/10

Another three books in one, but all revolving around a central point

A house that has a tentacle demon in it and it must fuck

Honestly, did not mind the first one

Not the most offensive thing I'd ever read

The second one was also fine?

They each had like some sort of backstory that I could live with

The third one was the worst

They are obviously mindless stories revolving around the smut aspect

Inherently, that makes them pretty bad

But the smut in these ones was much better than the previous books listed

My head did not hurt reading this

I can live with the fact that this exists

Seduced by the Pumpkin King 3.5/10

Sue me

I actually liked this one

Enough that I was like...

Flesh it out? Write it better? Give us more plot and backstory?

I'd read it again if these conditions were met

Main girl finds boyfriend cheating on her, somehow gets lost on her way home, ends up in this town and asks for help, the towns people chase her into the woods as a sacrifice for the dark one

I think that's what they called him

He's the king of nightmares and is just a super tall, super ripped, pumpkin-headed bloke

TBH, was into him

He was nice and I think he had a good design for a monster

His forearm length, wrist thick dick also had embellishments

He had little vines that wrapped around it

I'd fuck him (shakes my head with my silly little ace/aro lies teehee)

They ended up married

Short, simple, kind of cute little story

Still not great, but the best out of a bad bunch

I won't even get into the other story of Melanie Nyx's that I read, it's the giant skeleton one that can be found on the list of "books that belong in jail" list from tik tok. I did read it, and my poor, sweet, innocent friend, who watches as I drown in a suffering of my own creation, had to open the multiple snapchat videos (sent at 1 am) of me lamenting and begging for me to never commit to a bit like this again due to the horrors and atrocities I made my stupid little brain compute. I will warn, if you choose to dip your toe in this forbidden pool of trash, it is noncon and just plain bad.

Overall, don't fuckin read these. It's absolute trash and I hate myself for making me do this.

Will I ever do another nightmare gauntlet again? I don't know... I was dubbed a masochist for going through with this and while I am a glutton for punishment, I did also feel my soul leaving my body on many occasions. When I look in the mirror now, I see a broken person... which isn't much different than before but like, the light in my eyes has died just that much more.

Would I read again? Not in this life or the next or the one after that or any again.

Would I recommend? Read this post and ask me that again, look me in my cold, dead eyes and think it through. Please for the love of it all spare yourself from this

[corgibardballads]

This is random and unimportant but... I’m confused why we can’t talk to Blitzen. A magical being from an ancient line with special abilities who is obviously intelligent and has a range of emotions... but doesn’t have a soul? He is certainly no average animal. I want to hear Blitzen talking shit. I want Blitzen to secretly have the personality of an ancient eldritch horror trapped in the body of a magic deer moose.

[ravenwooduk]

Week 4: Ravenwood Long-Pigs @ Bronx Barbarians

Week 4, the Long-Pigs have been drawn against the Bronx Barbarians who are hoping to bounce back after their brutal encounter with the Skaven of Disintegration last week.

In the absence of Kurgan von Bismarck who is still receiving treatment Anders Gaspedal has been appointed stand in captain for a game where the Long-Pigs start unusually as favourites and are unsure how the balancing effect of pre-match inducements may strengthen the dark elves. On the training field, the Ravenwood side have been working various plays and combinations to counter potential star player threats. In a pre-match interview, halfling duo of Baron Shadenfreude and Pip Chancer remarked "Dark elves give us the creeps, they are so arrogant, at least their witch is out this week as the boys would be distracted by her and they'd end up getting stabbed or beaten into the crowd"

Gaspedal won the toss and elected to kick off, offering up an adaptable stack defence with pace out wide and the best blockers up front. The Barbarians responded with an uber-aggressive mass of players on the line of scrimmage and proceeded to block or stab the humans while maintaining the solid line across the centre of the pitch. The vistors matched them, hitting back hard and opening the left flank to allow Amadeus Beck to chase the deep kick.

Without any hesitation, the home side, made a quick hand-off in the backfield and behind some blocking and more knife work from the two assassins, bbb rushed forward across the gain line and into scoring range. There were not enough of his team mates nearby to form a cage, and the dark elves instead looked to pin down potential defenders.

Another block from Rache freed up the captain to set up the long range one-two punch with dauntless catcher Tomas Hawken. With Johan Blitzen and Pip Chancer poised to recover the ball, Hawken stumbled leaving bbb to dance out of the tackle and score an early TD.

After throwing two solid blocks , thrower Gustave Rache was looking fired up and fans could see him talking to his receivers about a quick response and a TD shootout. The home side lined up all of their players across the line of scrimmage presenting a solid wall of players, only out wide could a double team be affected which presented the risk of the supporting player being knocked into the crowd. Gaspedal positioned himself on the right touchline and the blitzer core set up to rip a seam in the dark elven line. Without Kurgan von Bismarck's presence on the front line, the visitors struggled to find an advantage although Hawken's blitz almost made up for his earlier error: booting journeyman Constance so hard that it broke his loner armour with a rib piercing his heart. Rache gathered the ball and waited out of range, but none of the Long-Pigs had penetrated the Barbarian's half.

Two quick stabs from the assassins later and option target Blitzen was off the field and Blitzer Xandersson was stunned. This prepared the way for two dark elves to pressure the thrower. On the line, halfling Shadenfreude was blocked, sending him to the apothecaries tent for the remained of the game. With Gaspedal, screaming instructions from the sideline, Rufus Zwerg-Jaegar dropped back to protect the thrower and Rache threw his third block of the game, making his own protection to form a pocket. Hawken, slipped again, most likely in the gore from his previous block.

The Barbarians rallied, with Rache standing up to an assassin's knife and Blitzer Genamen trying unsuccessfully to fight his was free from the side-line and the remaining players either throwing blocks or swarming the ball carrier. Genamen was pushed into the home fans who carried him relatively untouched back to the reserves box to watch out the drive and Gaspedal darted back to support the ball carrier but as Pip adjusted his feet to support Rache blasting himself free from contact, he too stumbled, leaving Rache toe to toe with two opposing players. The Barbarians blitzed, with Rache attempting a last second off-load before the assassin's blade arrived but dropping the ball at the feet of the intended receiver. A second hit put Rache on the ground, but the ball bounced up to Gaspedal. Regaining his feet, Rache threw another block to release Gaspedal who sprinted across the line of scrimmage to hand the ball to Dolph Xandersson who set off towards the end zone.

With the clock counting down to half time, Gustav Rache continued in his role as honoury blitzer, smashing the dark elven blitzer into the apothecary's tent for urgent treatment. Both teams apothecaries were in action as the next moment, mercenary assassin, Moranion struck Pip Chancer with a death blow that stopped his heart. Some impressive use of the medical cleaver somehow restored Pip to his gobby and belligerent self ready for the second half. Zwerg-Jaegar almost cost the Long-Pigs the equaliser trying to go after the nearest assassin, but Xandersson stepped over the line to bring the game level.

After half time refreshments, the visitors were a man down with Shadenfreude still being treated (or faking it for first dibs on the buffet) but the Long-Pigs were set to receive the ball. The Barbarians, ever keen to force the turnover and exploit their counter-attacking style, set up as a wall of death across the line of scrimmage. The ball was kicked short to the overloaded side and itching to resume the game, the Long-Pigs cheated playside with Johan Blitzen directly under the ball. What followed can only be described as dark elven trickery, paralysed in place, the Long-Pigs failed to even move but fortunately the opening action from Prince Adam ceded the initiative back to the visitors.

Pip led the charge forward, scampering past the ball to neutralise an angle block, and all available players rushed in, with Rache throwing another block after scooping up the ball. Hard-hitting Rufus Zwerg-Jaeger delivered a stamp kick to assassin Moranion who was dead before he hit the floor. Leading scorer Johan Blitzen looped round the pack to run into a scoring position and the remainder built a cage around Rache or ploughed into their opposite number.

The dark elves did their best to contain the cage, but were being out hit by the humans. With double coverage on any opponents able to interfere / intercept, Rache stepped up and launched the ball to Blitzen who ran ahead to score. With the Long-Pigs level on players but ahead on TDs and injuries they set up in a modified 3-2-5 formation, with the option to break to either side but limiting the number of players who could be engaged / tied down in the line.

Invigorated by taking the lead, the Long-Pigs kicked off, sending the ball high and left with four players flying up to recover the ball. Xanderson flattened the lineman to clear a path and jammed the end of the Barbarian line while Gaspedal and Hawken went for the ball.

What followed highlighted the differences between the two teams, with elves, dancing through tackles and handling the ball with ease while the humans, with maybe greater zeal and certainly pace, smashed block after block but were unable to pick up the ball. After failures from both teams to secure the ball, Gaspedal hit Genamen back and swept the ball up before sprinting for the corner only for him to fall to an assassin's dagger at full stetch. Hawken blitzed in to recover the loose ball only to suffer a worse fate than gaspedal. After a fierce exchange of blows, with the dark elves breaching armour with every blow, they gathered the ball and sprinted back to midfield where only a body check from Rache could stop what could have been an end to end score.

With the clock ticking down, Rache, Beck and Chancer combined to knock out and secure the ball at there feet. Both teams had receivers in position to score, the crowd watched with baited breath as Rache considered leaping an opposing body to extend the lead with a forty yard pass but to the relief of the coaching staff, he instead bulled over the most dangerous opponent and called the remaining Long-Pigs to cage up around him and put the result beyond doubt. 2:1

Following the game, the visitors management were excited to announce the signing of Ogre Brando ‘The Mutilator’ but through some dark elven trickery, the match winnings had mysteriously disappeared.

Gaspedal, interviewed after the game remarked at how we were used the being cursed by Nuffle, but that the crowd, the ticket office, even the pitch conspired against us this time. I hope that money shows up as we need the big guy, Pip and Tomas have big hearts but we need more muscle to challenge for the title.

[golden-risuto]

I apologize for my absence, unpredictable events happened last month that I will explain in a future post, but I am happy to be back.

Today, I bring you a meme showing the differences between the male protagonists, Anakin Solios and Benjamín Blitzen, from their respective arcs. At some point, I will do the same with the women ones, depending on how my classes go!

1) On the left, we have Anakin Solios, an Egyptian Wolf (Canis lupaster lupaster) originally from an unnamed desertic land (TBA) who, by chance, ended up in Sigilla Village for a better life with his family. However, after a series of canonical events, he ended up losing his pride and sense of identity, settling to live apart from the few who loved his eccentric way of being.

The lessons taught by the protector of Under Terra (Name TBA) and his mentor, *Zephyr Shailagh, has been the necessary push for Anakin to accept himself with all that it entails and take advantage of his potential, continuing to be the champion for Faunus and guardian of the forests. Although, despite having a good relationship with his adopted son and hunting companion, Mallory Solios the Ramidreju, the approval of the Dragon and the inhabitants thanks to his achievements, he still has a great mission to fulfill, but unlike all the ones he has received in 16 years, it's not related to those of his mentor and his attuned demigod.

*His design after the trick of grace will be remade, with the aim of being in line with the symbolism he possesses.

2) And on the right, Benjamín Blitzen. A Giant Armadillo (Priodontes maximus) native to Hidden Kingdom, is a guard specialized in luminous magic dedicated to protecting the gelid territory and its inhabitants from potential threats, particularly those coming from the north...

Lore: The Ancient Hidden Kingdom, devastated centuries ago by a calamity where only uninhabitable ruins remain due to total corruption, is a lethal trap with extreme temperatures, vile spirits and a barely known galactic creature. Everything indicates that they are anchored to a source of power; which was once Queen Howlell. Only the most experienced guards are allowed to explore this inhospitable area, the punishment of being discovered without permission ranges from a few days to months in prison and a big fine.

Outside of his work, he is seen as a stoic and inflexible man. However, when you become part of his circle of trust, it is revealed that he truly takes others in mind, caring for them from a position of strength and rationality. Benjamin feels disgust for those who ignore their duties in society and towards their families, but unlike many, he does not hesitate to speak his voice, knowing that he may earn the scorn of some. Finally, it's no secret how much he loves his small family, possessing an unbreakable bond with his wife and daughter, Ginger Jahe and Adeline Blitzen.

[cookiemom100]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Matilda Jane Blitzen’s Ball Dress Choose Your Own Path Girls Size 12.

[raspberryjellybrains]

from my tags on this post:

Blitzen: what are you TALKING about, Magnus? listen, I know things have been rough, but there's no need to get mean.

image description:

A black and white pencil sketch of Magnus and Hearthstone. Magnus is wearing a white t-shirt over a black turtle neck with ripped jeans and sneakers. His hair is pulled back and he has an angry expression on his face, saying "he is CLEARLY done in a different style than the rest of us." Hearthstone is wearing his standard outfit, black jeans, a white t-shirt, a black leather jacket, and a striped scarf. He is signing "What?". Hearthstone and Magnus are drawn in different styles, Magnus looks more rough and exaggerated with clear shading marks and movement provided by folds and tears in his clothes; Hearthstone is in a far more smooth, more anime-esque style with smoother, finer lines and very large eyes with a very small nose.

end image description

(sorry if the description doesn't convey the joke, I tried my best but it's mostly visual)

[starshower1215]

Andiron, Hearthstone, Blitzen, and Inge: A Story Idea/Insanely Long Synopsis

I thought this idea was interesting:

Seven year-old Andiron was saved from an untimely death at the hands of a brunnmigi- at the cost of his elder brother's innocence. Eight year-old Hearthstone had killed, gutted, and skinned the beast to prove his strength and worth and to earn his father's favor. But when he is rejected once more, his hatred turns on his younger brother, who had their parents' love handed to him on a silver platter. 

As the years follow, their previous love falls into shambles and, in the cold, blank walls of the Alderman mansion, their rivalry is nurtured. The mansion opens its doors to the vicious whispers on the streets of Alfheim, allowing for nothing short of perfection, and they flood the brothers' minds with venom as they scheme and pry into each other's lives, searching for a weakness, the path to being the better child. 

But when their mother, Greta Alderman, passes away, Hearthstone cannot help the grief weighing in his heart. Just as he is losing battles with his brother, being scorned by his father, letting down his best friend, Inge, and forgetting the reason he wakes each day, the clouds part and a dark figure hurtles from the sky, crash landing where Hearth risks a closer look. What he is not expecting is to find a dwarf, petrified in an instant under the Alf sun.

Imperfect, short, stout, dark, a mess, and everything that his realm despises- and yet, someone Hearth cannot help but find beautiful. For better or for worse, as old doors begin to close, new ones open, and Hearth must decide which is more important to him: the only love that he has ever known, or the love that just might exist on the other side. 

Notes: To be honest, this is heavily inspired by the relationship seen between Sirius and Regulus Black. I have always loved a story with a complicated family relationship, and under the roof of an abusive home, relationships between siblings are insanely wound with pain, anger, and regret. And yet, somewhere between the lines, there's also undeniable love. 

So, yeah.

[mallorykeen]

How do You think each of the empty cups would dress?? (This is in fact to steal ideas for my mcga clothing Pinterest board)

hmmm okay

magnus:

canonically he dresses in very low effort clothing like jeans, t-shirts and hoodies however that’s fucking boring so like he now dresses like a 70s surfer dude, down to the hair, and wears a lot of croptops and beach shorts

alex: 

lotta designer shit and like good quality and bright colours, like she canonically owns a stella mccarthy dress and cashmere jumpers etc. outside of that, i see her wearing very stylised outfits (see: 50s greaser from sotd) and i like to think she likes how linen and proper cotton shirts feel on her skin and like wears that with a pair of high waisted trousers a la howl pendragon

as like a chilled out outfit

samirah:

well samirah obviously wears clothing that fit in hijabi rules so long loose t-shirts and trousers and once she retires she starts enjoying long skirts too and when she has time/energy/is with blitzen plans the ourfit with what hijab she wants to wear (and has so many she’s got one for pretty much every colour and a bunch of patterned ones too courtesy of blitzen’s best). other than green, she really likes earthy yellow tones and earthy reds and peaches. she is always wearing trainers (sneakers) in case she gets called randomly because odin is slightly unfamiliar with the concept of retirement

blitzen:

formal wear 24/7 this man may have heard of casual wear but he is yet to try any on. he owns a thousand different waistcoats (some with really nice embroidery too) and matching suitwear so he can just pull on a blazer or an overcoat when going out the shop but has that look going on when at work. he really likes purples and greens and red and sometimes gets beads in his hair to match a colour he feels like wearing for a period of time

hearthstone: 

when he isn’t dressed like a biker he has a denim jacket that blitz gave him that he loves with a fluffy lining and he isn’t too into fashion so he has like trousers and t-shirts to wear with them but they’re all well worn and soft and comforting

send me asks

[ladala99]

Lioden Fight Calculator: Wisdom vs. Herald vs. Licorice vs. Sterling vs. Blitzen

As mentioned yesterday, since a bunch of adolescents of these grow this week, I need to thin the herd now.

((As always, Lioden Fight Calculator stuff is my own doing and gameplay. It does not reflect normal Lioden gameplay.))

The Contestants

Wisdom: A Primal boy of Penelope’s line. He’ll be taking his looks from the pelt of a defeated lion (specifically Sacrifice) if he becomes king. The trait of Penelope’s line is wisdom, and the new trait is forbidden knowledge. What he will do with that knowledge is still a mystery.

Herald: A Primal boy of Sandy's line. He'll be taking the look from the pelt of a defeated lion (specifically Desert Winds) if he becomes king. The trait of Sandy's line is attraction, and if he becomes king he will have the ability to manipulate the attraction of those around him.

Licorice: An Ebony son of a Broodmother, with no mutation. If he makes it past this round, I'll figure out what his trait will be.

Sterling: A Platinum son of a Broodmother, with no mutation. If he makes it past this round, I'll figure out what his trait will be.

Blitzen: A Rhubarb boy of Lightning's line., with no mutation. The trait of Lightning's line is Nature magic, which is contrary to the Demonic magic everyone of Omen's descent has. A king with both will have severe issues dealing with the contradictory magic sources.

All of these boys would be removed from the pride if they lose.

---

Round 1: Fight or Flight

Like last time, I'm dividing the flee chance so the more that run, the lower the threshold to run. There's three that can run this time (Primals will not run), so they'll start with a 16% chance to flee, become 33% if one flees, and 50% if two flee.

Wisdom and Herald are Primal and will not flee.

Licorice rolls an 88. He is feeling brave and will not run.

Sterling rolls a 49. He'll only flee if the other two do, and that won't happen.

Blitzen rolls a 13. He's getting out of here!

Omen only has Sandy with him, as his other most loyal lionesses have passed on. He orders the boys to help with the chase. They all chase after Blitzen! (though the other non-Primals plan to let him go)

Wisdom catches him and pins him to the ground. Omen manages to reclaim him, bringing him back under his power.

---

Round 2: The Battle

While Blitzen is out of the fight, the others all have a chance.

Wisdom will win if the calculator chooses based on stats, and has about a 49% chance to win if the calculator chooses randomly. He thus overall has a 74.5% chance to win.

Herald's overall win chance is 10%.

Licorice's is 7.5%.

Sterling's is 8.5%.

And yes, that doesn't add up to 100. I have the calculator round these so I don't know where exactly someone has a slightly lower chance than it says.

The calculator decides based on stats.

So Wisdom survives the semi-final round! Will he win the whole thing?

---

Round 3: Reclaiming and Resistance Adjustments

Due to being twice the run chance, the two non-mutated lions will have a 66% resist attempt chance.

Licorice rolls a 44. He attempts to resist, but Omen overpowers him, reclaiming him.

Sterling rolls a 5. He attempts to resist, but Omen overpowers him, reclaiming him.

Everyone else is Primal and does not need reclaiming.

---

The Champion and Additional Adjustment

Wisdom wins yet again!

Demonic power rises from the ground and does its thing. All other lions are swallowed up in the power. Omen is feeling very strong. He will certainly be able to keep control of the pridelands for his remaining months of life.

[100yearoldcomics]

March 26, 1922 The Captain and the Kids by Rudolph Dirks

TOP PANEL [ID: Der Captain lies, tucked into bed under a checkered quilt, musically snoring. He dreams of five Inspectors standing in a line, all smoking cigars and pointing at him. /end]

MAIN COMIC [ID: Der Captain, in his policeman's uniform, speaks with the police chief in his office. The Kids watch, amused, from an open doorway. It's the middle of the night. /end] Chief: Yep, the Wimmen's League is complainin' about the pinochle 'n poker games agoin' on in the village an' I'd like yew to investigate a bit!! Captain: Sure, Chief! I get me a disguise outfit und you bet I make a pinch mit der svindlers!

[ID: Der Captain walks home with a suitcase labelled "Disguises." Der Inspector walks happily past him, his long white beard trailing behind him as he struts down the road. He has an unlit cigar in his mouth and a cane in his right hand. In the background, the Kids can be seen pulling a couple of der Inspector's outfits out of an open window. /end] Inspector: Hello, Cap. Looks like a large efening if der cards don't lie! Captain: Ha! Right away, I bet me d'ere goes a gamester! Hans: Keep a eye on der old gay dog, my boy! Fritz: Lucky der Inspector got a double heafy wardrobe!

[ID: The Kids run off with their Inspector disguises in their arms as der Captain, unaware, puts his disguise on behind a tree. /end] Fritz: Vill a pair of deuces beat choker high, darlink? Hans: Not if der choker is vild, luff! Captain: Tee-hee! You bet I follow after und giff dot sharker der surprise of a lifetime!

[ID: Der Captain stands in front of the house in a cheap disguise. He has a Sherlock Holmes-style deerstalker cap on, a tight-fitting brown overcoat and a fake white beard that appears to be made of cotton balls. He holds a magnifying glass in his hand. /end] Captain: Ho-hoh! Such a make-over I vouldn't belief, ding svoggle my scuppers! I vonder if Mamma vouldn't efen fall for der imitation?

[ID: Inside a nearby shop, der Inspector places a call in a telephone booth. The Kids put on their disguises beside the booth. Outside the open front doorway, der Captain listens in. /end] Hans: Iss dot a lady's woice by der door, Fritz? Fritz: Don't you know a falsetto ven you hear vun? Inspector: ♫ Tee-hee. ♫ Sure I'm coming, only don't tell der Captain vot iss in der cards! Captain: Ha! Didn't I know dere vos a dod-rotted pinochler in der vood-pile?

[ID: Der Inspector walks out of the phone booth, happily lighting a cigar. Der Captain waits outside for him, his arms crossed and back turned. The Kids watch from inside the building. /end] Inspector: ...if runs it in kinks on such a night, bevare! Und if toins it up queens, ooy! Der fortune iss ge-fixed!! Captain: Tee-hee! Der shrimper ain't vise who iss it!

[ID: As der Inspector walks up the road in the distance, one of the Kids walks out of the building in an Inspector disguise. Der Captain does a startled double-take. /end] Hans: Do your stuff, old dear! Fritz: Vell, vell, is dot you Captain, or chust a mistake? Captain: HUH?

[ID: As Fritz walks up the street, Hans walks out of the building, confusing der Captain further. /end] Hans: Bless my soul, if ain't it der old Captain in disgust!! Fritz: Tee hee! Captain: Dunder und Blitzen! Vot iss mit der peep-lights?

[ID: Der Captain sprints into a doctor's office. The doctor stands at the far end of a large room, watching der Captain with a handheld telescope. /end] Captain: Speak, Doctor, speak! Did you seen vot I seen, und you know who am I? Doctor: As I live, it's the Captain! Why the make-up, old dear? Trying to spoof yourself? I know, heh, heh!!

[ID: The doctor sits der Captain down in a chair and hands him a mixture in a mortar and pestle. The nurse stands beside him, laughing. /end] Doctor: Here, drink this, Captain, and take my advise. Resign from the force, it's a bit out of your line! Nurse: Hee hee! Captain: Foist d'ere vos vun doctor, den two, den tribbles!

[ID: As der Captain walks down the street, away from the doctor's, he finds der Inspector, getting his fortune told by a tarot reader in a tent by the side of the road. The Kids stand by the tent, amused. /end] Captain: ? Inspector: Vell, I'll be chiggered. If it ain't der Captain! Vhy all der phoney scenery, sport? Tarot Reader: An' as I say, meester. Beware ze dark woman, she ees wot you call heem, ze vamp! Fritz: Haw!

[ID: Der Captain bends over a wooden trestle of some kind - I'm sure this has a name that I can't place. He's in prime spanking position on the front lawn. Behind him, Hans aims a plank of wood and Fritz runs up with a wooden club twice his size. Der Captain's disguise hangs up on the front of the house. /end] Captain: Go ahead, boys, shoot! As a detectifer, I'm no cop! Hans: Mit pleasure, sport!! Fritz: Vait, Hans, make it a chob vhile ve're at it!