#bleh emotions

[stone-queer-crow]

Late night thoughts are a bitch, thinking about an abusive ex, from like 5 years ago. Far from a good or healthy relationship, but brain is being dumb....bleh 💀😓

[majoringinsarcasm]

Meh

The thing about me is that I would love to make an appointment and ask my doctor hey can you refer me to some screening places so I can see if I have anything and then I go to the place and they do the test

And if they’re like congratulations you do I’d be like sweet I love learning about myself

But if I Don’t have anything and my brain is just Like This I’d be. Sad. Like an explanation for all the stuff I did as a kid and how my brain reacts to things and how I react to stress and all that. Amazing.

But if I’m just Like This naturally and there’s no word or name or diagnosis or theory it’s just How I Am.

And then the whole oh you just want attention oh everyone is blank these days. Is just simply not true. Because people know and see how you treat others and they are way less likely to confide in you about anything.

So yeah I’d like to officially Know yes or no, but I’m afab shaped and have been acting a certain way for y Wes and bottling things up that could just be regular depression which I already know I deal with clinically or less severely like I’ve got that. Which could also just affect everything else but I know I wasn’t Depressed as a child or at least my actions weren’t related to my sadness

Anyway. I feel silly. It’s not something to Want for, ADHD or autism or anything. I feel like this post is “oh I wanna be different so bad please give me the different gene tee hee” but it’s just me as an adult wondering if yeah. Maybe something Is different about me that I wasn’t able to think about as a child and is it too late to find out. After years of Performing Well would I even show anything on the test. How do I convey I think about my feelings more than feel them in a way that’s not trying hard to prove something they may not be true.

I say that as if it’s bad or wrong to be neurodivergent and that’s Not what I mean at all. I’ve always phrased it as “what if something is Wrong with me” growing up which is not meant to be negative. Ive just felt differently from my peers and Wrong was the best word bc again most of these feelings are caused by stress or the depression so Wrong as in other ppl don’t seem to react this way.

Idk man. You’re never too old blah blah but I’d like to know? This doesn’t even go into being black and how my family never talks about this kind of stuff and in the past was actively against the idea of my younger sibling being on any spectrum which is still likely. I’ve been the Good older sibling who talks to ppl and communicates and can fake it and do all the proper things but that’s bc I’ve been copying others from tv and books and other humans. Over a long time. Kid me couldn’t do all this stuff adult me Has to do.

Idk. Lol. I wish I could ask little me how she felt if she noticed anything at all. I’ve got memories and pretty vivid ones at that but asking an adult who’s buried stuff for a long time if they “like parties or prefer to stay at home” or “if they like organizing” feels unhelpful. Bc it’s not a yes or no and it depends on how I feel and how motivated I am.

Anyway I go back to work tomorrow after not being scheduled for a week and my job makes me sad and this is something I’m sad and worried about.

[cappydoodle]

rereading my own fic and yeah I'm a comedic genius I think

[the-broken-pen]

“I don’t need you.”

It sounded less grounded than the villain had wanted it to. It sounded like something someone had told them to say, and they were just repeating it with half hearted determination. They said it again, “I don’t need you.”

“No,” the hero agreed. They were grinning. “You don’t.”

The villain floundered. They, in all honesty, wanted a fight. To prove something, they supposed. That they really didn’t need the hero. That they weren’t in the wrong, here. “What?”

“I said,” the hero said slowly, and the beginnings of a grin curled at the edges of their mouth. “You don’t need me.”

“I don’t need you,” the villain repeated, and the hero nodded encouragingly. It just made the villain want to hit them.

The hero lounged against the doorframe, halfway in and halfway out of their apartment. And truly, that was the worst bit of it all—the hero wasn’t showing up outside the villain’s house, or driving by the villain’s work to see if they truly looked happier without them. But the villain was.

They wanted to scream, and kick, and throw plates onto the ground.

‘Leave me alone.’

But they couldn’t say that, because the hero had. They had cut contact and blocked numbers and ignored the villain’s car as it went by. Still, the villain felt haunted. As if they would never be clean of the hero, parts of their soul forever dirtied by it all.

The hero’s smile, and the way their voice sounded when they knew the villain would cave to their wishes.

They just wanted the hero to—

“Leave me alone.” It slipped out against their better judgement. From the way the hero’s grin widened, they knew it had been the worst thing they could have said.

“Darling, I have,” the hero said, their tone saccharine. Pitying. “You’re the one outside of my apartment.”

It felt like being burned alive, the frustration of it. The way it rose in their chest but had nowhere to go, leaving them shaking with nothing and everything trapped under their tongue.

“That’s not what I meant and you know that—“

“What, you miss me that bad? I thought you—“

“Shut up,” the villain snapped. The hero raised an eyebrow.

“It’s eating you alive, isn’t it?” They sounded pleased.

“It’s not,” the villain protested.

“I told you, you don’t need me.”

“I know,” the villain grit out.

“But you want me.”

Something in the villain’s brain stalled.

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t need me. You never have,” the hero said it like it was a fact. “You want me, though. Even as the sound of my name burns you, and the memory of me rots in your mouth, you’re going to want me.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” The hero’s voice dropped to a whisper. “You can go out to every bar in this city, kiss a hundred people who look like me and get just drunk enough to forget you’re not mine anymore—but you’re never going to stop missing me.”

The hero knew, of course they did, how hard the villain had tried to forget it entirely. The disaster they had become trying to be clean again.

“No matter how many shots you take to block out the memory of me, you’ll always be mine.”

“You’re insane,” the villain finally managed. The hero simply tipped their head to the side in acknowledgement. “That’s not-what’s wrong with you—“

“You’re the one who misses me.”

It stung, deep in the villain’s stomach. It took them too long to remember how to breathe—too long after that to think of what to say.

“If I’m lucky, I won’t ever have to see you again,” their voice quivered, slightly. “But knowing us, the next time we meet it will be in hell.”

The hero laughed and closed the door in their face.

The villain blocked them. Avoided the side of town the worked in. Moved three cities over.

It didn’t matter.

The villain could still feel the hero under their skin.

Later, whenever someone would ask, “Have you ever been haunted?”

The villain would think back to the hero.

And say, “Yes.”

[discord-emote-customs]

more agere emotes like basic emotions?

some agere emotion emojis ^^ angry tantrum emojis will be in a later post , ill link it here when i post it ^^ here we have happy , tired , and "bleh" !! all with pacifier alts ^^

[octothinq]

In the jaws of man.

You bite and gnaw on my flesh.

Tearing through my muscles and into my bones.

I aim to please.

I hope I make a good meal for thee.

[lord-prey]

Thinking about Halo again

I like him but also he is very bare bones but I feel like I can’t change that? In my head Halo is very blank, he is not a person, he may be a ai but he’s extremely limited in terms of emotions and wants. He is capable of learning, of adapting, he can think and reason, but his only motive and purpose is to keep the facility going. To keep a constant influx of new subjects and to ensure experiments run smoothly and organs get transferred out.

I just don’t imagine him really having a personality which causes some issues to the few actual people he hires or interacts with

[regretfulcorrine]

Heeey everyone! So little explanation as to where I’ve been— I kinda took a dive for a while 🥲 Really sorry about that! ((tw// mentions of mental health and mushy gushy emotional stuff under the cut))

In terms of content, I’m sure y’all have seen my Hazbin spiral kinda take a front seat for a bit but I miss my Drarry boys. They have infected my heart too much for me to part from them for too long 😔 And I may or may not have joined/finished a special project filled with amazing people coming out soon involving them 👀

So on Insta and here you’ll see me dive back into my love for them more than on the bird app! I love the amazing people/Drarry artists I found on Twitter, but it’s also a very big place for the fandom to just hit the fan unfortunately 😭 And it’s small enough to where unlike a bigger fandom, it can be hard to avoid. Doesn’t help the anxiety so for now at least I post my boys more here. I honestly wanna just post more on here in general!

I of course will still post my Hazbin stuff but it’ll be just more of a mix on here in terms of what I draw is all 💃 Thank you for still being here 💖

I’ve never really mentioned my health too much before but I have pretty bad crippling anxiety. It’s hard to do a lot of stuff (go outside, talk to people, etc.) and it even at some points has affected me physically. Whether that’s me worrying myself sick or being so paranoid I don’t even wanna really do anything besides watch like silly videos. And because of that I’ve only been really able to focus on one platform and that for some reason just happened to be Twitter (which in hindsight may have…contributed to the anxiety due to the nature of Twitter….ANYWAYS) I have meds and have finally decided to participate in regular therapy, but of course there’s always those breakout episodes!

Idk if anyone else has this thing but it had been such a long time I was afraid. That so much time had passed people were mad for some reason or there would be issues 😭 BUT I’m very happy to have finally just bucked up enough to come back, if you’ll have me!

Ive really missed you guys, and the second I opened this app and decided to post it was literally like a breath of fresh air. It’s weird to say in our great year of 2024 that Tumblr of all places has become calming but here we are lmao

Thank you for reading my rambles and excuses I’m gonna make it up to y’all with some good old fashion boys kissing 💖

[cursezoroark]

edens!

requested from @emissary-of-dog

[prideprejudce]

finally saw priscilla today and while the aesthetics were absolutely gorgeous (a true sofia coppola film) the movie overall was just very.......bland. like i went in with a very basic understanding of the relationship (naive girl and much older manchild celebrity) and i pretty much left feeling like i didnt learn anything new. it was like we were only given a surface level interpretation of both elvis and priscilla......especially priscilla which was the most disappointing. and while the film wasnt bad it just wasnt that.....great? it was just meh in the way that it felt like it didnt have much to say. or was afraid to say anything significant at all

[star-luvrx]

OH MY GOD I LOVE UNREAL UNEARTH

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

This is me btw, if you even care.

[bearded-enby]

Please send requests, I love making these <3

[soshiharin]

Has there ever been a time where Harin was noticeably emotional in public? Like when snsd won a daesang and they were all crying. And since Harin is always so put together and calm in public it surprises a lot of people.

harin is a bit of an emotional person but she refuses to cry in public so you can count on one hand the times she’s been caught crying. the most memorable one, though, is from snsd’s 2017 fanmeet ‘holiday to remember’ bcs she was visibly emotional throughout the fanmeet and towards the end was crying a lot (tears were streaming down her face but she tried her best to look ‘normal’). that was the most emotional she had ever been in public

[starsanddragonflies]

Destiel, man

[saturns-emotes]

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