#blegh. brains suck

[sukugo]

Where are you king hope you're alright

anon!!!!!!!!!! yeah i really wasn't feeling super great :c (normal ocurrence i just get like that every once in a while) and i tend to step away from tumblr bc of it. thank u for checking in i really appreciate it🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 💖💖💖💖💖

[bonestrouslingbones]

chat what do we think.......................

patch notes + side-by-side with the old version:

fixed proportions to be less fucked up and also give him bigass hands. i honestly didnt even realize the original had fucked up proportions until i put them side by side and had to shrink it or else the head looked Enormous

used a couple values from that one color test i did a bit ago & winged the rest. did all of this with a screen filter on so if it looks like ass it's not my fault

made all of his clothes more obviously baggy, his jacket specifically was inspired by something i saw while looking for more sims mods like a week ago that i guess i imprinted in my brain

made the jeans have a more defined & tapered shape & replaced the rips with patches because that's less stupid

changed the ugly ass boots to doc martins because He Would

untucked his shirt because He Wouldn't (also made the shirt wrinkles look more like it's clinging to his ribs to make him look thinner, no damn clue if it actually worked it is 2am)

fuckin forgot about the spike bracelets which makes sense because they wouldn't work with the baggier jacket at all BUT i am very very sad to see them go to be completely honest

made his gloves lower contrast bc while i love the lil broken heart detail it ain't that important lmao

[curiosity-killed]

I think one of the stupidest emotions is when ur brain is fully, utterly convinced that you are inadequate at every single thing you do despite there not really being anything wrong

[floral-hex]

I’m so tired. I’m always tired. This suuuucks. and I’m sad and shitty. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I don’t think remeron is a workin for me. Accidentally typed “wormin for me” at first. I wish it was wormin for me. Why won’t you worm for me?😔

[currentlyonstandbi]

[eggthew]

gets insane rsd over things that shouldnt matter and are beyond my control

[hotmess-exe]

love when absolute strangers on the internet will say with absolute confidence "x y or z would be better for your mental health" like who

the fuck

are you????

[fabulouslygaybean]

today just isn't my day huh

[teeniestjojokitten]

Ugh. I still have Covid. I feel so so tired and I’m still sniffly. But I’m happy I’m not as sick as I was. and that my case isn’t a really bad one. It’s snowing out and it looks so pretty but I can’t even go play in it... My daddies would bundle me up in blankies on the couch and we’d have yummy cocoa and watch a movie or somethin as a reward for doing some classwork and resting like a good kiddo.

[frogseasons]

tlt but JUST from ianthe’s perspective would be hilarious. you (necromancer) go to canaan house with your sister (who you trick people into thinking is a necromancer) and babs (your walking jerky stick). there’s a bunch of weird people and a hot nun but whatever. you sneak around and are Smart and u put things together. some people die, whatever, u get on with ur Sneaking and Smartness. you figure out how to become a lyctor (you have to kill babs). you kill babs, eat him (his soul), that’s all par for the course for you. and congrats, youre the first new lyctor in a myriad!!!!!! and then the rest of the weird people who are still alive decide to go and attack you about it. oh turns out ur predecessor has been hanging around, you get in a tussle and she slices off ur arm. ouchie. and she goes down at the hands of the hot nun so at least there’s something good going on. later you and the hot nun get picked up by god, u don’t know where ur sister is but hey! the hot nun is now ur built in bestie for the rest of ur eternal lives. but nooooo she’s depressed because her other nun friend went and died on a fence and boohoo she got ate just like babs. blegh. she asks you to crack her skull open which seems like a good time so you do, and now she owes you a favor and can’t remember the nun friend so things seem kinda dandy. and you get a sloppy lil makeout sesh later too. on ur all expenses paid vacay to god’s house his old friend/fuckbuddy takes you under his wing. swords suck because of ur arm but you get a front row seat to the most interesting and fucked up sitcom in history. the hot nun is There and yeah she might be having some brain issues but u get to play dress up with her and she also makes u a shiny new bone arm. u ALMOST get another kiss after god starts getting fucked in the dining room by two of his besties but the hot nun has it out for the other bestie that’s been trying to kill her for months so u don’t get to have that fun. eventually ur fight with a cosmic horror gets interrupted and the dead nun takes over the hot nun’s body and u witness the death of god. but he comes back and in quick succession he is out of besties and u saved his ass from mega hell. in the next few months you watch god fall into his newest depressed slut era but at least he makes u a new bestie out of the dead nun (who’s his kid?????) and her corpse, u guys even make friendship bracelets and have a handshake. u get to pilot babs’ corpse around on another planet and finally see ur sister again and kiss her on the lips through the jerky body. and the hot nun is back too!!!!! but some of those people from wayyyy back are still there and they take over the jerky body and u have to race them to god’s ex’s unbreakable tomb. and then god’s ex wakes up and beats ur ass and then gives the hot nun a sloppy kiss. what is a girl to do.

[repo-net]

OMORI Rank-up Tier List #1: Main Cast

Alright, I've recently finished OMORI and I've given myself a bit of time to sit on it, think about the characters and how everything panned out. And hey, it's a pretty writing-centric game, I'm running a pretty writing-centric blog, so why not start with a short two-part series of appreciation posts for the game in the form of a tier list?

I definitely have a lot less to say about the side characters, so I won't be bothering giving them their own post, I'll be clumping them with the next one which is going to be a review of the locations/boss fights throughout the game that I was able to experience.

I'll note right now for anyone that this is the opinions of someone who finished OMORI about a few days after he posted this and only finished the true ending route (because as much as I love it, I am not willing to put myself through the game again just to go through and see the content in other routes when I can just look it up on YouTube), so this may change sometime in the future. I know for a fact that I was battling like hell with myself when I was ranking these six... anyways.

Obviously, spoilers are inbound, so if you haven't played OMORI and want to check it out for yourself, come back to this post later once you've completed it. If you're ready to look at whatever take this brain of mine has, then here it is under the cut!

Oh, and a few more messages before we get to the meat of it all - I'm going to be clumping and judging the characters with a combination of their aspects from both the dream world and the real world. While I obviously think that the real-world versions of the characters are the 'complete' arcs of themselves and the dream world versions are just watered down versions of them created by Sunny/Omori in their liking, I think it's worth bringing them up anyways since they serve as the background for each character before the horrible tragedy that hit them.

I also think that every single character in the main cast is written fantastically and are all at least A-tier characters in my heart, except for a select few in the top 2 that I think are more than worthy of being put into the S-tier if I were actually putting them into tiers instead of just ranking them.

Alright - let's do this for real this time!

#6 - Mari

You know how much it sucks having to pick a least favorite among a selection of things that you all really like? It's like me having to choose which of my kids I want to put up for adoption, blegh. Unfortunately, someone had to take this and begrudgingly, I'll have to slide everyone's favorite older sister here. I really hope this one isn't controversial...

So, here's the thing about Mari, right? In the perspective of a writer, I think she absolutely has the most going for her in terms of the amount of content you can produce for her in comparison to the rest of the cast. I think the sheer magnitude of possibilities and scenarios that you can write using Mari is pretty much endless, whether it be fluffy alternative universes where she lives or angsty, gut-wrenching punches of how not so great her time with Sunny ended. And believe me, that's just scraping the surface of what you can do with her!

Mari's a constant presence throughout the entirety of the game, whether it be in the form of Something looking over Sunny and Omori, being the support for everyone in the friend group as you go through the dream world, or her unfortunate death being the reason everyone in the real world turned out the way they did. And as much as I want to like Mari more, she's a very charming character and I think her relationship with Hero is one of the highlights of the game, I constantly find myself appreciating it (as a writer who enjoys angst) from Hero's side more because of how he responds to it. There just... isn't much for me to look at, honestly? Her dream world self is a sweetheart, bless her - but when we talk about how fleshed out she really is, there's not much for me to say other than what's already been shown to you in the story.

The best parts of Mari are in the symbolism scattered throughout the game in Sunny's subconscious and the short scenes we get of her throughout the game. I think I can attribute this to one of the criticisms I have of Omori; I really, really think Mari's character would've benefited from having more scenes of her failings (the pressure to get the duet with Sunny right; her perfectionist attitude being the reason he snaps being the fatal flaw that causes her death) actually play out instead of being left up to interpretation and details in the flavor text of the game.

Shit stinks. I really wish we could've seen that more- ironically enough, the imperfect side of Mari. Because the way I interpreted it, Sunny's motivation for playing the violin was so he could spend more time with Mari regardless of how much stress it puts on him and how much time it takes away from getting to chill with his friends. And when even that stops being fun for Sunny because of the pressure he feels considering it was the day of the recital and he still wasn't playing it perfectly, he lashes out and breaks the violin. In comparison, Mari wanted to perfect it cause... uhh, I dunno? Would sure be nice if we got more context on why she acted like that, considering the stark contrast of what she's like in the dream world...

If you really want to be harsh about it, Mari just ended up being a plot device for Sunny's own story, unfortunately. There exists a personality in there in the form of her dream world self; but it's angelic, too much so (which we obviously know why, it's Sunny's interpretation of Mari, a person who could do no wrong). I wish there was more about how Mari really was - as a sibling, as a girlfriend, and just as a person than the stories we get from the other characters that we have to fill in the blanks ourselves.

But hey, that's what fanfics are for, yeah? You go, Mari enjoyers. I love all of y'all. (Has been in the fandom for like no more than a week)

#5 - Basil

You hate to see it. Sorry, I know a lot of the fandom adores this boyo (I know a friend of mine does and I apologize in advance to you) and I do too, but I think it speaks volumes of how much I love this cast when a character of the floral lad's level can land himself in a spot like this. Man, why'd I put the two sweetest and kindest characters in the main cast at the bottom? I'm horrible, lmfao.

Ahh, Basil. In fairness, I think he has my second favorite design in the game only behind Aubrey from the real world, and if there's a character I'd want to roleplay as - I think my mind would go to Basil too, actually. There's so much good I can say about Basil that it makes me wonder; how in the world did he end up all the way over here?

Is it because of the horrible shit he pulled (seriously, how does a 12 year old come up with that? oh wait, my blog is nagisa shingetsu themed. nevermind, it's totally reasonable.) that he ended up here? Nope, heck I think he's way more interesting of a character because of it; seeing just how badly he was willing to protect his best friend and save him, only to create a rift between the two that becomes the focal point of the entire plot. That's good fucking shit right there. Love when characters have good intentions in mind and it just ruins their life.

The striking thing about Basil is that he has a very complete personality that makes him easy to latch onto; Basil is a kind soul with a strong sense of empathy and understanding of others, he loves photography and flowers, going as far as to have descriptions of his best friends in the wake of said flowers. He's a little troubled, hates fighting, but he's trying his best in spite of that to keep a smile on his face. He's a good boy and I think if you showed a normal person who knows nothing about the game the main cast, I think most people would say Basil's either the most interesting or their favorite character just by how nicely wrapped his presentation is when you disregard all the spoilery stuff about him.

Where it stops for me though is this - for someone who plays such an important role in the story and how the main conflict in pretty much 75% of the game is centered around him, Basil sure enjoys being absent because unfortunately, said conflict is the fact that he's missing. I'm not going to use this as a diss on Basil's character because it isn't his fault that he's pretty much required to be shrouded in mystery, and I don't even know what suggestions I'd have to improve it because you can't be showing Basil off too much.

But we're at a crossroads here. I think we didn't see Basil enough in the story, but at the same time... what could you do in OMORI that fixes that issue while also not overexposing him at the same time? Another unlucky spot that Basil's put in is the fact that some of the scenes where he's present in the real-world are overshadowed by another character capturing me more (Aubrey). It's not that there's a lack of him, but it's... ugh. It's so hard to explain.

It's tough. Because Basil's struggles is just so incredibly heartbreaking and I really, really do feel for him and just want to give the guy a hug after all that he's been through. Being driven to the point where you and your best friends are fighting each other, even gouging out his fucking eye??? It's horrific. I don't think the first thought that came to Basil's mind during the incident was 'let's hide this evidence as fast as we can', but more of a 'oh god, i need to save my best friend'. He's got so much weighing down on him.

At the end of the day, I don't even think Basil's underutilized. It just feels like he is, and I can't shake it off enough to put him above all the other characters here. Sorry, flower boy. I get the feeling you'll grow on me more as time passes, though.

#4 - Sunny

Hey, it's the protagonist! I usually put guys like you a lot higher than this, especially considering just how much I was rooting for you... and you did! So happy for you, my man. I'll forever be grateful I stumbled upon the best possible ending for the gang on my first and only playthrough of the game. Oh right, we should be talking about him instead of me. Sorry about that.

While some people like to consider Omori and Sunny as separate entities and prefer to rank them exclusive of one another, I'm personally going to take the other route and do as I've been doing with everyone else here; collectively using both dream world and real-world versions to judge the character as a whole.

And that plays the biggest factor me when it comes to ranking Omori/Sunny. Because I don't think Omori is a separate person from who Sunny is - I think Omori is an aspect of Sunny that formed as a result of the trauma that the incident with Mari caused. Omori is Sunny's coping mechanism, less of a shield, more of a wall; but I think the best word to describe him is a bubble that keeps Sunny's most horrific memories from resurfacing.

When I first played this game, I immediately found myself pretty attached to Omori because he was just a dry, quiet little guy who hangs out with his friends and might have some sort of mental issue to him. Who could resist such allure? But damn, if it weren't for the real world segments and how it all culminates into the final battle between Sunny and Omori... I think he'd be in Mari's spot. A character too reliant on flavor text to showcase their character, not really leaving enough of an impact for me to immediately think about them when I hear about the game OMORI.

But Sunny... Sunny, my beautiful boy. This poor fucking kid. Sunny is such an incredibly human character and I always found myself feeling pity for the guy, he's been dealt with such a horrible hand in the short time he's been alive, and yet despite me never going anywhere near the Sunny that went through, and having a very different personality from him; I can attest, he's very relatable. Just remind yourself that this kid pretty much tortured and isolated him for four whole years all alone because he couldn't get over the guilt that accidentally killing Mari gave him.

Four years is the amount of time between the start of the pandemic and today. Imagine never leaving your house, having no friends to rely on or talk to, constantly living in a fantasy world where you can do no wrong to hide yourself and cope, and dealing with at a worst case scenario was daily nightmares of your most horrible memory. Sunny's immediate reactions to anything that causes him distress is to block it out, and so; Omori, being his bubble, will do whatever means it takes to protect Sunny regardless of how much better it'd actually be in the end for him to finally accept the reality of what happened four years ago.

I don't normally mess or enjoy silent protagonists much because they're inherently kind of dull and usually end up falling flat. But along with Kris from Deltarune, Sunny is wonderful. It's just a shame that everyone after him are people I ended up feeling more connected to.

#3 - Hero

I honestly can't believe this man managed to win me over so hard that he'd place in the top 3. I kept thinking to myself while I was ranking the main cast: 'I like this character more than him, right...?'. But almost every single time, I remember something this goofy charm of a man did and I just sigh and realize I didn't appreciate him enough until after my playthrough and looked back on how so many of the things I liked about this game involved him.

So, here we are. At third, is none other than the world's most handsome man himself - Hero. I'm still wondering what his real name is if Hero was apparently just a nickname. Henry? That's like the closest thing I can think of off the top of my head. But let's address the elephant in the room.

I'll get this out of the way already. I'm perfectly aware that in comparison to everyone else, Hero doesn't get as much screentime or focus, heck; in the real world, he only shows up at the end of the second day and his most memorable moment for me was Kel telling us about what became of Hero after Mari's death when you go to her at the cemetery during Three Days Left. Flavor text. The very thing I pointed out to be why everyone before Hero is ranked lower than him. So how come he's up here...?

More than anything else, it's personal attachment. Apologies again for making this about me (pretty much every character from here is going to involve a bit of my personal life), but I have no siblings at all. This was kind of my fault, since I was so attached to my parents' love and affection that I didn't want anyone else taking that away from me. At the same time, I had three older male cousins who were the closest things to a big brother that I ever had in my childhood. They weren't exactly the nicest to me... but I always figured that was admittedly because of how weird I was as a kid anyways, so I don't hold that against them. I just wish I could've connected with them more.

Hero not only feels a lot more 'real' as a person to me in comparison to characters like Basil and Mari, not only cause I know people who handled the loss of a family member like he did and managed to hold himself enough and not go to the deep end. They're some of the most admirable people I know, and I look up to them a lot. Hero constantly wonders what he did wrong that Mari felt the need to commit suicide, but in the end; it's because he didn't do anything wrong. It's why I've always thought Hero's perspective after the good ending is the most interesting one and the one I always look forward to when I see how the writer executes it.

Not only does Hero get significantly more screentime than the characters before him in the form of the dream world, and feel much more alive than all the other dream world versions of the main cast, but he's much more flexible and allows for more wholeness in what I want to feel from a character.

What I mean by that is that Hero's personality and character opens more opportunities (and capitalizes on it!) so he can make me laugh, he can make me feel for him, he can be someone I can relate and struggle with, he can be someone I want to root for, and he's someone I can attribute to things I hold dearly to in real life.

He might not be the most complex or tragic (and considering what he went through, it goes to show just how bad shit gets in this game) character out there in a cast full of really deep ones, nor does he really stand out in the cast to some people...

But to me, he's everything I want out of a character. The only things that stopped him from being higher is that I was more compelled and struck by the next two.

#2 - Aubrey

Honestly? I thought Sunny would be a lot higher; in the spots that this one and the one after her would be, but I took the time to think about it and after some careful thought, I realized - yeah, I think these two are just more gripping to me and characters that I genuinely felt astonished by.

The dream world versions of the characters are husks. They're the idealistic versions of Sunny's friends and are characters that are only truly completed and finished because their real persona is so... amazing. And Aubrey...?

Out of any other character in the game, I think Aubrey benefits from the arc her real world has more than anyone else in this game. Because good god, this girl... I would've thought I'd feel more bad about the other characters, but I found myself constantly worrying about Aubrey because the circumstances that surrounded her was nothing short of poignant.

Could you imagine being in her position? You lose someone who's basically your older sister in a friend group that's more family than your own blood; because they're all deadbeats and your home life is unpleasant, to put it lightly. All of them start to drift off, for one reason and another, and it feels like nobody is even there to comfort you or give you a shoulder to lean on. But wait, maybe you do! Your childhood friend Basil, who's kind of nervous and seems pretty broken, but at least he's still there, right...?

And yet, from Aubrey's perspective, Basil ruined what was essentially the only physical memories they had left of their Mari. Someone she loved so dearly, desecrated like that... that broke her. For Aubrey, it felt like there was no one there that could understand her. And then, after four long years - suddenly, one of your friends finally decides to show his face, and this obnoxious, overly positive and reality-denying guy tries to act like you didn't just lose four years of your life wondering what went wrong and why she lost everything so quickly.

Wouldn't it feel insulting?

I don't normally like 'bully' characters (mainly due to my own childhood experiences with them), because they usually hit too close to home to me. I hate that I even feel like categorizing Aubrey as that considering we know the circumstances around her life. To make matters worse, she was probably the one I least cared about until her arc in the real world started and she completely blew me away.

Aubrey, whom I love the real design of and think she looks great in the real world - Aubrey's arc and character is something you learn to appreciate. It's something that you can only really 'get' when you remember the lesson OMORI tries to teach you in the first place.

And well, if you've played the game, then I need not explain any further. Let's move on to the guy in first.

#1 - Kel

A dork, kind of a dunce, but a champion. He is the catalyst for the true ending and is the reason the path to it even opens up in the first place. I'll concede this; characters that are complex like Aubrey, Sunny, and Basil are normally the characters you'd see as my favorites because I tend to value them more or just like their presence more.

But in any game; I really, really don't think I've ever seen a character archetype in the way that Kel's in who manages to not only be full of that childish endearing aura to him, yet flawed and so very, very real and human; who you can understand why other characters would lash out and get irritated at him, but also support him knowing fully well that his intentions are always for the best...

Kel is amazing. From the first interaction with him in the dream world, I was immediately hooked because of his stupid and goofy little humor that brings me to reminiscences of a simpler, more fun and youthful time in my life. I was worried that I might grow tired of him since; let's face it, dream world Kel does have shades of being just a tad one-dimensional. I was genuinely considering putting Aubrey as my favorite character.

And then I remembered the graveyard scene with Kel talking about his and Hero's story.

No scene in the game solidified my love for a character and made me want to do everything for them more than that did with Kel. Hands down, that is my favorite scene in the entire game and not a lot of moments come close.

Kel's kind of bad at reading the room, I think he's self-aware enough to know that he's stubborn and there are times where he's stepping into territory that should just be left alone.

Despite that though, it's because of his persistence that he succeeds. Kel might just seem like a positive and happy go lucky goofball (he is, tbf), but he had to deal with his own shit too. In response to Mari's death, Kel put on a smile and did what he believed Mari would've wanted him to do - he healed himself and got back up by making new friends, taking the time to worry about others, and try to get the friend group back together.

No matter how many tries it took. I seriously, seriously wonder just how much time Kel spent knocking on doors, asking his old friends if they wanted to hang out, yet always falling on deaf ears. I think the reason he's able to smile in spite of it all is that he just hasn't had the chance to mourn on his own. There are moments where the smile breaks for a bit; times like when Hero is the one that immediately gets rushed to by his parents while he's just left there when the two of them fought, or after Hero saves Basil after Aubrey pushed him into the lake, and he starts wanting nothing more to do with Aubrey, thinking that she's really changed until Hero manages to convince him otherwise.

Or worst of all, in the neutral ending... where Basil lets himself go and Kel cries, finally breaking down and unable to hold back the tears this time. He asks Sunny; 'why does this keep happening to us?' in the most heartbreaking sprite in the game. He's human and has a limit, just like everyone else. And it's so cathartic when in the good ending, Kel's efforts pays off in the form of Sunny finally overcoming his demons.

Everything I said about Hero being flexible and whole? Kel is that, but cranked to 11. I absolutely adore this boy and I want him to be happy, because he deserves the world and more.

Kel is my favorite character in all of OMORI. And with that, here's the formal image of the final rankings of all these characters.

Whoo, that must've been a doozy. Sorry that got so long, and if any of my thoughts didn't make sense or are incoherent - I'm a lot better following up on things and adding to it rather than trying to formulate my own thoughts, because trying to think of stuff that people don't already say is pretty hard, eheh.

Anyways, that's my ranking of the main 6 characters from OMORI. Not ashamed to say how much I love all of them and this game, and I'm looking forward to the next time I find the energy to continue this series and divert the discussion from its core set of characters. Hope you enjoyed reading this!

Quick credit for the fanmade pic of real Mari: Some Mari portrait edits : OMORI (reddit.com)

[htchnr]

♰ unsure touches ༻ ASH WILLIAMS.*ೃ˚

✮ꜜ masterlist. ✮ꜜ buy me a coffee!

content warning written with a burn out in mind ⋆ not mentioned age gap ⋆ Ash sucks at comforting but still tries ⋆ i need this old man to tell me it's gonna be okay :,) ⋆ if i missed anything, lmk!

pairing old!Ash x younger!Reader.

summary comforting is something Ash has never learned or mastered. but when you come home worn out, he sucks it up and tries his best.

authors note the summer is burning me out 🥲 and i feel like all my writing is starting to get repetitive and blegh 😭. so here's some purely self indulgent comfort. wordcount 1,1k.

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐇𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐑. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!

Ash no longer snapped up in panic as the door to his trailer opened, the telltale sound of your footsteps stepping into the space. he looks up from the crappy tv, tired eyes meeting your even more tired ones.

" heya, sweet cheeks, " he smiles, though the expression falters as he notices how worn out you look as you kick off your shoes and drop your jacket on top them. Ash never minded the mess, he knew he made enough of a mess that he can't be one to judge.

he watches with saddened eyes as you slowly make your way to the couch, pulling your uncomfortable jeans off before sinking down into the couch beside him. you exhale deeply, laying down with your head on his thigh as you curl up beside him.

Ash's brain malfunctions — he's never been one to comfort anyone. sure, he's patted Cheryl's shoulder when they were kids, or held his friends close to him in the horrific events of the cabin — but never has he had to comfort you in this way. worn down and exhausted from whatever happened to you today.

his flesh hand twitches, throat bobbing as he swallows. he apprehensively reaches his hand out, dipping between your arm and your ribs as he rests the warm prehensile against you. his thumb rubs unsure circles into the clothed skin, the rhythm faltering and speeding up.

you curl up tighter the moment his hand touches you and Ash flinches, nervous that he made a mistake. " you're doing okay, " you mumble, in response to his flinch. even when you're feeling so down, you manage to make him feel better.

the circles resume again, more firm and sure of themselves. " do you, want to talk about it? " he offers, pain and unsureness laced together. he hated seeing you like this. hell, he had never seen you like this before — the relationship was still relatively new, you had only been together for a little over eight months.

you shake your head against his thigh. okay, noted. he lets go of the breath he was holding, a sad frown now taking up residence on his face. what could have happened today? he knows that whenever you're ready you might tell him, but he's also swallowing down the fact that you might not want to share what happened and that he'll have to be fine with that.

he reluctantly lets his eyes return to the tv, though unable to pay attention to what was playing.

" what are you watching? " comes your quiet and slightly raspy voice after the longest ten minutes he's experienced.

he shrugs, " i think it's some fantasy thing, Thrones something, uh, " he trails, he hadn't been paying much attention to it when he turned the tv on when he got home, and he certainly wasn't able to pay much attention to it once you got home.

" Game of Thrones? " you offer, the scenery and characters looking vaguely familiar. it was probably a new episode.

" yeah, yeah! something like that, "

silence takes over the trailer once more, the only sound is the quiet noise coming from the tv. after a while he looks down at you again, noticing your slowed breathing. he reluctantly pulls his hand from your ribs, reaching for the remote to turn the tv off.

he stretches his arms above his head with quiet grunts, trying not to move too much. he lets his hand drift back down again, rough fingers gently stroking your hair. " lets get you to bed, yeah? " he whispers, his face scrunching up in displeasure as he lifts your head and gets up from the couch. you looked too peaceful to disturb. but he knew that sleeping on the couch would kill your back as well as his.

Ash stands before you, reaching down to lift you into his arms with low grunts as his body cracks at the movements. he carries you to the large, plush bed at the foot of the trailer, carefully laying you down. he pulls his own jeans off, leaving him in his underwear and his stained wife beater.

he watches you for a moment, brows still furrowed even in your light sleep. his own brows furrow at the sight as he kneels onto the bed and gets settled beside you, pulling the soft blankets up your figure. he tucks you in, gently pulling you against his chest. you shift in your sleep, tucking your head below his and nuzzling against his warm chest.

he sighs, his left arm wrapping around your waist as his hand lightly strokes your lower back. " you'll get through this, " his face twitches at his own words, so, unfamiliar on his tongue yet they feel right in this moment. " i know you can do this, sweetheart. "

you shift in your light sleep, curling up tightly against him at his words, your face twitching with sadness. it hurts him to see. " i'm here for you, always. " he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he shifts against the pillows.

he'll hold you close until it all hurts less, and even then, he won't let you go.

[selchwife]

blegh

i know it’s bc it’s late and i’m tired and my period is coming bc normally i don’t even have this kind of thought but i’m having one of those awful “emet would think i suck, actually — and he’s RIGHT! and should be cruel to me about it!” spells. fucking really difficult. i don’t know how i tolerated spending like all of 2022 feeling like this. like the bad self esteem shit. good lord

something has to get done about my pms i think. like it’s never been good but recently i feel like the emotional issues i’ve had from it have been really really worrying and dangerous. this isn’t that bad but it does very much feel like shit. when i feel ok i can list good traits about myself emet might like and believe them but when i feel like this it’s just like “well…um…idk i have a lot of problems and don’t do anything useful and am not very nice :/ and also im ugly :/“

and like. partially it feels silly to worry about what decidedly fictional character emet-selch would think of me. but Well i love him and think highly of him so i want to feel like he would think i was at least worthy of his time. as far as DID stuff goes brain emet does not like when i get this way or agree with my poor opinion of myself which should count for a lot but i think it’s just like a stupid familiar vector for self esteem issues that run deeper than just selfship stuff or any particular relationship

idk. i can’t sleep. i just feel bad. i know i’ll feel better with some rest, i just need to take care of myself and i know i can get through feeling bad on my own just fine, i’m nothing if not resilient. it just feels good to have an outlet to whine lmao

[melonlthawne]

Ough okay vent post is vent post. For those who only follow me for Bart nonsense feel free to ignore this and scroll on and those who can’t cause they’re on mobile sorry to interrupt ur feed I just have some thoughts I need to get out of my mind

I am so unhappy and unsatisfied with my art for like the last week and it’s really putting a damper on drawing. I’m just not enjoying it even when I’m drawing stuff I was genuinely excited to draw. I feel stagnated almost. I know my art could be worse but it could also be BETTER for how long I’ve been drawing and it just sucks. And I know it’s super entitled to complain about not getting a lot of notes on my art considering there’s always more than 3 and some people get no attention on their art. Even though I try to reason with my brain I should be grateful for the attention I do get it’s still hard to fight the feeling I want more. I dunno. Maybe I should just take a break from drawing for a few days until I’m in a better mindset.

That aside I’ve been doing a lot of studying and just feeling super blegh. I appreciate any of the kind stuff people send to me or people talking to me or taking time to send in art requests. I really do appreciate it even when I’m being in a bitchy mood like rn. Hopefully tomorrow will be better

[keichanz]

Big fan of your works. I'm writing a personal fic on Docs inspired by My Brother's Best Friend, but it's literally gotten everywhere and nowhere all at once. 😭😭 (I suck at consistency with establishing my characters. I give them two lines of dialogue and then a whole two paragraphs of backstory, it's so BLEGH)

Sorry if you get this question a lot, but have you ever thought about taking writing commissions at all??? 🫣🫣

wait wait waaaaaaaittt. you're telling me my hastily-written, unedited, excuse to write porn with the barest hint of plot actually inspired you to write your own fic? ;ajdfijdf AAAAAHHHH BROOOO WHAT iloveyoucanireadit?

that said i totally get what you mean lol. it's the worst feeling, because you know where you want to go, your hands get ahead of yourself and start writing, but then your brain is like wait no slow down you need to do this first, but you don't want to get rid of what you've already written, so you have to like add in context and edit and suddenly it's a giant fucking mess that's everywhere and you hate it but love it but hate it.

actually no i don't get that question a lot. tbh i have considered it at one time, but that was when i was very active in writing and pushing out content at least once every two weeks or so, maybe less. and also honestly speaking, i wouldn't even know where to begin with all the pricing and what have you. i'm not a very uuhhh. what's the word...smart? person lmao laijsdfahlkufd

....out of curiosity, though....if i did do commissions...would you commission me? 👀

[lumiereandcogsworth]

curious (and you may have discussed it but!!) do you think Adam, once he got his body back, had to relearn certain things? like did he have to rewire his brain to remember “oh right I’m not that strong anymore” or, assuming the castle had any low door frames, do you think he might’ve forgot he wasn’t quite as big anymore and still ducked out of habit?

oooh !!! i have only slightly discussed this before, emily asked about adjusting to his height and not being as tall as he used to be, so i’ll link that here!

i do love the idea of him relearning things because things are just Different. i think he would find both his hands and teeth extremely uncomfortable at first. he got used to the fangs and the general sharpness of his teeth, as well as having really pointy thick claws, so when everything is suddenly smaller and smoother, i think it’s like an awful sensory experience that he has to get used to. (and it was definitely an awful experience to adjust to, when the curse initially happened as well).

on that note i thought of a headcanon recently that i think in his post-curse life he develops a hand fidget where he taps the tip of each finger to his thumb repeatedly. i just think he’d find how small and smooth his finger tips were so WEIRD so he just forms a habit of feeling how flat and non-claw like his fingers have become. i bet he also develops a similar stim of counting his teeth with his tongue. all very unconsciously but just because it all feels so weird at first!!! but then it just becomes fidgety habits.

i definitely agree with what you’re saying though i think adjusting back to his shorter (though, he’s 6’ as a human, so he’s still fairly tall by comparison to belle (5’5) or whoever) and scrawnier build would definitely kind of suck. i touch on this in the first post but he’s always been a scrawny guy, and bullied for it too, so i think he kinda at least slightly appreciated actually having some stature and strength to him. (overall though he was miserable of course, but just if he had to find SOME kind of silver lining, that would’ve been it.)

anyway yeah i definitely think he’d have a reflex of ducking where he always used to duck, or thinking he can move things a lot easier than he could. i also feel like he just forgot about putting on stockings and shoes. which is ironic because he hates being barefoot typically. (and belle loves being barefoot, which is why he’s always annoyed with her cold ass toes when she gets in bed lol) but he had to relearn like, waking up, putting on slippers, going to the dressing room, putting on stockings and shoes, etc. the first handful mornings he probably just got up and started walking around and then was like AGHDKFJDK BLEGH! ya know, when you have sensory issues?

and as a final note, and i should’ve put this in the first post but it just came to me now, i imagined belle one time asking him if he missed his height (he probably reached for a book and then grumbled about how it used to be at his eye-level) and he kind of smirks and says “sometimes, i suppose.” but then he walks over to her and she’s standing in front of him and he says “but i am a very nice height now so i can do this,” and he leans forward and kisses her forehead and she’s like :))) !!!! and he chuckles, proud of himself for making her blush >:)