#bleeding because i can't pay for hormones

[seshrat]

i have no job and i must scream

[ohanny]

stabby murder husbands kentakim au!

does this make much sense? no. is it going to be long? yes. am i sometimes very happy about what my mentally ill lil brain cooks up while i sleep? very much so.

tony chen is a rotten super villain in every universe but in this one kenta was his assassin until he finally had enough, turned on his master during the bloodiest night known in these circles, john wick style, and then disappeared off the face of the earth. was tony running the high table? how deep does the lore go? who knows. i was asleep. my brain did not have the capacity to figure it all out.

flash forward some years. kenta is living a normal life. he has a boring office job. he’s reconnected with babe, his estranged brother who ran away from home at the first sight of sketchy activities and was spared from all of tony’s bullshit. unfortunately for kenta, babe - happily married and pregnant - is channelling all his extra hormones and boredom into a mission to socialize his hermit crab of an older brother.

which is how kenta ends up eating dinner in babe and charlie’s warehouse loft of doom, sitting opposite of kim - a regular customer at the couple’s garage and a casual friend. it’s an awkward affair because a) kim can't stop staring b) babe keeps shooting these looks at kenta all “see, i brought you a hot ginger, do something with it” and c) kenta would much rather be at home. unsurprisingly, when kim offers him a ride home at the end of the evening, kenta says no.

this turns out to be a bad call because on his way home, kenta gets jumped. it happens sometimes - after all, he was tony’s weapon for over a decade and made a lot of enemies, no one can escape their past without occasionally being haunted by it. except this time when he limps out of the alleyway, clutching a minor stab wound on his side, there is a car idling by the pavement.

it's kim, rolling down the window and telling kenta to get his ass in. against his better judgment kenta does.

kim speeds off the scene of the crime with the kind of ease and confidence kenta has only ever seen from babe. it quickly becomes apparent that he knows way more about kenta than he should because he starts asking about cameras and when kenta just stares blankly - bleeding all over the nice upholstery - kim laughs and says “don’t worry, even if you got a bit rusty and missed one, i know a guy. or two. since they live with me you'll meet them soon anyway.”

and fuck, kenta should have just trusted his instincts instead of chalking kim making him nervous up to having someone so pretty pay any level of attention to him. he finally finds his voice (and lowkey also his knife) and demands to know who the hell kim is or if he's even called that. “oh i am,” kim answers gleefully, “and you could say i’m a… freelancer.” which, great. just amazing. kenta is being kidnapped by some amateur bounty hunter and his day officially couldn't get any worse.

… but it does. because once they reach their destination, the second he's ushered into an apartment he's greeted by an obnoxiously loud scream of “holy shit, he actually did it!” followed by a slightly less obnoxiously loud “our kimmy here is a big fan!” and then “oh fuck he’s bleeding all over the place, get the med kit dumbass!” and kenta realizes he wasn't kidnapped by some amateur bounty hunter. he was kidnapped by a fucking fan boy. on the bright side they do seem to be capable of basic wound care so there's that.

(yes, the trio is living their best mercenary vigilante life. kenta’s purge of tony happened right as kim was getting into the game and he went full “holy fucking shit, this man took down tony fucking chen and got away with it?” and basically became obsessed with the legendary lore of john wick kenta. so imagine how pumped he was when babe of all people introduced him to his ultimate murder crush goals)

kim: obviously you'll need to stay the night since you're so injured. You can have my room. i’ll just sleep with north and sonic.

kenta: …

sonic: you have a problem with three men sleeping together?

kenta: … no?

north: great! but if you hypothetically did you could ask kim to share with you instead because trust me, he's like super interes -

kim: shut up or i’ll evict you.

north: pls, whose day job is paying the bills here since you only take on charity cases?

kim: my name is on the lease! and i'm being a good person!

sonic: honey, you kill people.

this is where i got with my dream sequence but other things that just make sense in this verse:

the first person kim ever killed was winner. he was a toxic college hook up who kim dumped after few gos but who wouldn't take no for an answer. kim could have dealt with him being a dick on campus but then he started harassing kim’s dorm mates, north and sonic and kim just… snapped.

it all came to head on an alley behind a trashy gay bar. winner tried to grab sonic and kim honestly just meant to beat the shit out of him but went too far. when they read the news the next day it's weird. none of them regret it. they’re happy about it. and when no one knocks on their door to ask any questions, they realize how easy it actually is to get rid of a bad person.

the second person kim kills is a campus dirtbag who likes slipping shit into girls’ drinks and taking them home. they plan it all together but kim goes out alone and after… he's a mess. winner was a crime of passion in the heat of the moment but this is something different. he's all keyed up. he can't settle down and paces around their living room. a man is dead and he thinks he got off clean but only time will tell. he's nervous and elated and half-hard and full of adrenaline and it's sonic who nudges north and goes “look at the poor thing, we should take care of him.”

the night ends with kim’s head on sonic’s lap, sonic’s fingers in his hair, telling him he did well and he's so good when he cries as he's getting fucked into the mattress by north. kim wakes up sandwiched between them, in a mess of limbs. he has a very brief freak out about what the happened - the sex, not the murder - but north shushes him, telling him it’s not a big deal. “we love you, hyungie” sonic shrugs and pecks his cheek. “you two get some more rest and i’ll bring breakfast, okay?” and that's that.

needless to say kenta is in for a culture shock with the northsonickim arrangement. like he's taking a shower with kim and things are getting good when sonic barges into the bathroom, yanks the shower curtain back and goes on a rant of “kim, you gotta tell north to do the laundry because it was his turn but he forgot and now my favorite pants still have cum stains on them!” and kenta is like “um, excuse us?” but kim just rolls his eyes and proceeds to yell for north and then has an entire damn conversation with his dick out while kenta just stands there all 🧍‍♂️. (after he's done chewing north out for the laundry, he turns to sonic like “and you! we talked about this! kenta is new, we don't want to spook him!”)

the whole murder thing will be another conflict. kenta is happily retired. he killed because that's what he was raised to do and he didn't have any other options until he did. kim though? kim kills because he wants to. kim kills because he believes certain people deserve to die.

kim: i have a date with a wife beater at 2am. wanna come?

kenta: stop calling them dates. and you shouldn't be so… flippant about it.

kim, smirking while pulling on his leather gloves: don't tell me you never enjoyed it.

while kenta’s kills were always obvious hits, done using knives and guns, kim likes to deliver justice personally. he warms up using his hands and finishes the job with whatever blunt object he can pick up.

one time kenta’s boring office job takes him out of town for business and kim is climbing the walls. he calls kenta all “please quit and just become a hit man again, the pay is better and you'd be home when i need you” and kenta sighs because yes, his job is boring but he's trying his best to be normal and he has a morning meeting. so he tells kim to go occupy himself with north and sonic

kim: wait.. What?

kenta: don't you guys have sex with each other all the time?

kim: we did, BEFORE i met you

kenta: … huh. well. go fuck or get fucked or whatever before you start hunting pedestrians for stress relief.

kim: is this a trap?

kenta: no? i would never mess with whatever the three of you have.

Kim barging into north and sonic’s room, growling at them to take their clothes off and sonic’s first reaction is “oh shit, they broke up” but then kim’s like “dick first, rings second, i’m going to wife that man so hard he won't know what hit him” and everyone cheers and no one feels bad about having a pre-engagement celebration threesome not involving one of the grooms.

also, pete? did he step up after tony’s death? does he run a business like the continental? is way his weird attic wife that fucked himself over in the business and now can't step a foot outside the hotel without getting his brains blown out the less fun way? in any case he would have an eye on both kenta (because their whole… brotherhood) and kim (because kim is a wild card and truly independent and neither follows nor knows the code).

[balkanradfem]

Hello, I have an issue and I don't really have anyone to talk to about that specific thing. I stopped waxing my body hair two years ago when I stumbled across radical feminism on tumblr, and it's been amazing! My confidence is through the roof and I stopped caring about men. Except. For the body hair. I mean, I still don't shave or anything. But I have very thick body hair due to hormonal issues and repeated waxing/shaving since I was 12. Especially on my chin where I have very thick duvet. I caved and allowed my mother to pay for laser hair removal. But it makes me crazy because I want to do it all over now. I used to swim regularly but I lost my only swimsuit where my "luscious" pubic hair was not visible (kind of... it basically goes halfway down my thigh) and they are really rare and expensive, most swimsuits are basically pubic hair out. And even while I had that one, I was very uncomfortable with my armpit hair which is literally longer than my hair. I have my hair until my ears but still, that's really long. Do you have advice, or I don't know really, stuff to make me change my mind about pubic/armpit hair and laser hair removal? I know it's not good for skin, causes skin cancer I think? But I feel so alone and idk, like a hairy beast. It gets lonely.

Ah I can relate to being scrutinized and judged in public for your body hair, even if I don't have the extra hormonal, but I remember struggling to feel normal and always feeling like I'm being watched.

I can only offer a part of what helped me: there's actually no law stating that you have to wear a woman's swimming suit on the beach or anywhere else. I wear swimming trunks and a whole t-shirt when I'm swimming and nobody has said one word to me, and I've felt super comfortable in those! It's not very eye-drawing and it's great for a transition before you are able to feel comfortable - or in some cases, if there's males around, I understand never being able to feel comfortable because they will objectify you, but that has nothing to do with your body hair, that's just the way they are.

But you don't have to wear swimming clothing that's been designed for male fantasies and fetishes, you can absolutely make or get something that makes you comfortable and un-selfconscious.

It does take years and years to become comfortable with body hair, even the normal amount. I remember at one point realizing that what I'm having, the full body hair, is normal, and being completely shaved and bare is weird, mimicking children's immature bodies, and also making your body vulnerable to infections and diseases, as well as causing discomfort. Most of body hair we have is so that our skin wouldn't chafe together, to make our movement more comfortable! So seeing women shaved naked makes me uncomfortable, I know they're undergoing discomfort, itching, bleeding, chafing, prickling and all other stuff that comes with shaving. Seeing a woman with full body hair just makes me relax and I feel so happy that she's comfortable too. Being completely shaved to me is a sign of oppression.

And later when I became even more comfortable, the thought of being a bit more repulsive and unpalatable to males made me happy. It's slightly harder to objectify a woman who is fully comfortable and unwilling to mimic a child's body with her own. So I'm displaying full freedom from their desires in front of them and don't have to care. I am however, still sad for all the women who can't do it, and are undergoing discomfort only to be slightly more palatable to their oppressors.

I don't know if my opinions can help you see it in a different way at all, it was a long journey for me, and the best I can say is, take your time. It's okay if it takes a decade to feel fully comfortable, I believe that you'll get there! There's nothing but comfort and joy waiting for you at the end of it.

[stormxpadme]

bUt YoU cAnT hAvE a hYsTeReCtOmY fOr FuN

My dud/ettes. I went through 10 years of doctors male and female telling me, I can't make the decision not to have children because "what if your future nonexistent husband wants some?????" I had to do the whole thing with not one but two surgeries because even surgeons who respect women as independent beings allowed to make their own decisions in Middle Europe of 2024, they need to justify such decisions to higher ups and insurance companies. So they had to try tube athropy method first because "Well, theoretically, you could still have kids then IF you change your mind someday". Nevermind that additionally to me never ever having wanted kids, I got endometriosis and could never clean my flat or sneeze or cough/sneeze on my cycle without abdominal and/or back pain. So finally, the second surgery to get out everything that doesn't pay rent from in there happened 9 days ago. For a second time, gas for three days that makes you look 6 months pregnant and hurts everything from your shoulder to your bladder. Ever since then, growing worse everyday, I double over and cry out in pain whenever I urinate, flatulate or defecate. And all that 3 weeks after my third lipodema surgery, since appointment spots in such clinics are rare, because almost no doctor grants women body autonomy, and I would have had to wait for even longer if I hadn't taken that one. Ibu diet is going quite well. At least i can sit somewhat straight again by now.

I promise you, I've seldom had less fun in my life.

And you know what? I'll do it again every single time because no more bleeding monthly from now on, no more abdominal cycle pain and being able to fuck my way around with healthy people however I fucking please without having to worry about taking hormones every fucking day? Worth it.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #357

So! Nothing's up with my body. Sometime last night, the “bleeding” part of my cycle started, and basically like a light switch, I immediately felt a lot better. The clarity I got probably helped, too. But... still.

I think I've finally noticed the pattern with all this. A few days before I ovulate (I bleed a little every damn time I ovulate...), I start to feel like garbage. Like... depressed and irritable and just exhausted and generally hopeless; my senses get dull and it becomes hard to think. Stuff like that. And then I ovulate, and from there, the whole depression/exhaustion/irritability/hopelessness thing dials itself up all the way to 11. And then I bleed, and all that other stuff dissipates as though it was never there.

A bit of fatigue and bloating and cramping is normal. But I don't think people are supposed to get all fucked up like this once a month. So I think I might look into getting some kind of treatment for Premenstrual Dysphoria Disorder, because spending two out of every 5-6 weeks being absolutely miserable totally fucking sucks. And dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder on top of it all just... really isn't a good time.

...But I already know that the main treatment (getting put on hormonal birth control) isn't ideal for me; estradiol usually turns me into either a ragemonster or a depressed-ish lump. So I guess I'm gonna hafta try to figure out something else. Wish me luck, okay?

Therapy was today. I saw the dandelion-haired man (Br) before today's session. He expressed a curiosity about where I had been. I told him that I reduced my sessions to once a month because we're trying to save up to move to Canada (we still have to get our educational credentials evaluated...).

...Out of the blue, he gave me $300. I told him that I can't accept it, but then he told me that I can either take it or leave it in the waiting room. Clearly, he was not prepared to take “no” for an answer.

...I didn't like that very much. I don't know enough about his financial situation or about him in general to know whether or not this comes as a significant difficulty to him, or whether it comes with hidden expectations that he will now have of me. It could be a gift just like how I give to people – with no strings attached, and just because I want to do it. I know it's possible that there are others like me who don't expect anything in return. But... he has a wife, and I have to consider what she is going to think about him dropping $300 on some random person that she and he barely even know. Or maybe $300 is nothing to them. I wouldn't know.

...Not knowing what else to do, but not really wanting to accept it either, I took it and put it somewhere for safekeeping. That way, if/when he wants it back, I'll easily be able to return it to him.

...It was pointed out to me that I had given him a piece of my own artwork that is easily worth at least $500. But... I dunno. For some reason, it feels different to me, because... well. I don't sell my wire trees anyway. I just make them and give them away. I give them away because... well... after they're made, I can't really use them for anything, and I feel like it's too sad if they sit around my house, collecting dust and being unappreciated. If I give them away, then they become a source of awe and wonder for someone else. $300 is $300. It's a resource, and a potent one at that. Enough to pay for one English test, ya know?

...I'm supposed to see Br and his wife tomorrow at Eggcellent. Maybe I can find a way to tell her what happened. Maybe she'd take the money back.

...I just... I don't want anyone to get upset or get in trouble. It's a very strange situation, and... admittedly, I'm really not sure how I should respond.

Then my therapist came to fetch me. And we talked about that thing that just happened. They weren't sure what to make of it, either. They said that, given how unusual the situation was, there's probably not a right way or a wrong way to respond.

We talked about a variety of other things too, like the recent visit with R, and the people I've met on that friend-making app... and about you, too, of course.

Lots of really weird things have happened over the course of the last 20+ years that I dare not explain in this space. Things started getting even weirder since I began writing in earnest. Again... more stuff that I dare not explain in this space. But I do tell my therapist about it, and... somehow they have ideas about it that don't revolve around the notion of me being a few onigiri short of a bento box. I showed them the clarity I received recently, and they were... somewhat mystified? I guess my therapist is gonna check with his supervisor to make sure it's okay for him to point me towards someone who has more experience with certain types of happenings. I guess we'll see how that goes.

I went home after that. Showered. Talked to J some; that was good. Decided to head out to physical therapy with M so that we could go on a lunch date after, at that place with the awesome fried green tomatoes and the ever-changing crème brûlée flavor!

But first, physical therapy. As it turns out, my subscapularis (part of the rotator cuff) just... isn't moving in the way that it's normally supposed to; some muscles in my chest and back have been picking up its slack, which is causing problems. So now I've got an exercise that's supposed to target that muscle and force it to move. Hopefully that helps things a little. We'll see what happens.

In subsequent weeks, we might look at my left leg; that was injured a long time ago, and apparently putting most of my weight on my right leg can cause problems in the right side of the ribcage, so that's likely not helping matters, either.

I ached after the fact, and I was hungry, so I was more than eager to get noms at the place with M. Here, I'll show you the pictures I took...

Here, we've got the fabled tomatoes!

...Then, we've got a steak sandwich!!

Cream of broccoli soup!!!

This one is called a “mudslide”! It's got chocolate and coffee flavors to it!

...And finally, we have the crème brûlée flavor of the week! This time, it's espresso!

I can say without a doubt that this is one of the most perfect crème brûlées I've ever eaten. I really wish you could have been here to try it. I think you would have liked it a whole lot.

And just like that, I am back home. I'm thinking about playing some more Hades. I've been out and about pretty much all day, so... I could certainly use the time to jut chill. But then... R is coming back for a visit tomorrow. He wants tacos. I gotta get the supplies for that before I go out to meet Br and his wife. Hmmm.

If I do Hades, you'll find me here. The quest for a first-run victory on a fresh save continues...

...Suppose that's it for today. I don't really have much else rattling around up in my noggin.

Hey. I love you a lot. So please try to keep yourself safe out there while you do your various things, okay? I'm counting on you to come home alive. And all the other people who care about you are counting on the same thing. So don't go making a buncha people inconsolably sad for the rest of eternity by getting yourself killed out there, okay? Promise me.

I'll write again tomorrow. Assuming all goes well, tomorrow's letter will be chicken taco flavored. Look forward to it!

Your friend, Lumine

[scoobied]

god i am trying so hard and it's just. not enough! it's not enough! long vent under the cut! tw uhh s*icide mention ig?

i put myself through so much work and effort and fucking pain on Saturday to do my online yoga class (70 minutes! of intense yoga practice! after i had been at work all morning! while i was on my period, in pain already, and bleeding profusely!)

and I didn't receive credit for it because it took me 12 minutes to answer the check-in question at the end. we're allowed to take breaks but no longer than 10 minutes; and this probably won't even count as a break anyway because it was at the end of the yoga practice so what would I have even needed. break for lmao

except to just. lay on the floor for a while and recover from all the stuff we had done because I was literally so exhausted by that point ❤️ I can't even remember what I was doing. I was so tired and in pain. I've been dissociating heavily for days.

And I have to make up the second practice from last week because I ran out of time to do it. I had planned on doing it yesterday but I was in so much pain continued from Saturday and then having to work a long shift Sunday and do a lot more physical work there than I was expecting.

The last week and half have just been so fucking awful. I finally got the nerve to do my hormone shot and then a day or two later I had a yeast infection and then when that was almost done I started my period. Neither of those things would have happened most likely if I had just been able to keep up with my hormones to begin with but doing my shots takes so much energy.

I've spent almost two weeks just feeling intensely uncomfortable or being actively in pain or fatigued constantly. I've been trying so hard to not fall behind on school work. I've been trying so hard to manage all my time between classes and classwork and actual work but it's so hard when I'm not medicated and having to deal with so much stuff.

I can't get in touch with my therapist. I can't get the meds I need because my insurance won't pay for it and they're too expensive. I am struggling so hard to keep my head above water and when I saw that I didn't get credit for the 70 minute practice that I struggled really hard to do, it just. I just started crying.

doing the yoga practices is already really hard for me ecause they're long and it makes me panic about the time spent. not to mention i am fat and a lot of the stuff we do is really difficult for me to do.

"can you explain why the video was paused so long at the question?"

because i am trying not to fucking kill myself, autumn. i am trying so hard to stay alive and stay afloat and pass my classes so i can fucking graduate this semester. i am trying to be absolutely perfect every second i am at work so that all the extra work I've put in over the past 6 months isn't a waste and i actually get promoted just so i can make a MEASLY FUCKING 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR.

i promise i am trying so hard. why isn't it enough????? why is it still not enough!!!!!!!!!!! i am putting myself through hell!!!!!!!!! please! please let it be enough! i promise i am fucking trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Can we get Mirabels parents giving her the talk I just came up with the idea because I don’t feel like their side of the family should be left out ( when I’m in the dark I read your story’s and you are a light keep on shining ❤️❤️) -from anon

Aw??? Thank you??? Genuinely i love how much you guys love my stuff. If i was physically able, I'd totally complete all my asks in a night. But since I can't, let's just see what we can do about yours!

"And then there was this boy-"

"A boy?"

Agustín looked down at his daughter. He was walking her back home from school, when she said that keyword. Boy. Mirabel looked up at him, nodding.

"Uh huh! His name is Raul, and he's pretty nice. He gave me flowers he found up on the hill."

Now Agustín was a young boy once. He knew what it was like, innocently liking a girl. But becoming a father instantly made you (and by you, we mean Agustín) distrust them, especially with your youngest. She was only nine afterall, what business did she have with a boy? He walked into the Casita with Mirabel, just in time to see his wife cooking with his other daughters (they had a half day at school while Mirabel had a full day).

"There you are! Are you hungry, mija?"

Mirabel nodded, walking up to hug her mother.

"Uh huh! I didn't eat lunch today!"

"Why not? I packed it for you!"

"A boy at school didn't have lunch, so I gave it to him."

"Okay, you need to stop whatever is going on with you and boys."

Isabela rolled her eyes, and Luisa giggled. Julieta meanwhile, gave him THAT look.

"Agustín, I know you'd prefer to separate them, but it's good she plays with the boys. It teaches compassion!"

"It teaches the boys to play MY daughter, Julieta!"

Isa, like any preteen, groaned dramatically.

"Mami, don't tell us we're gonna get the talk again."

"It looks that way, baby. Agustín, are you going to do it this time, or am I?"

"You do it. It grosses me out."

Luisa studied her dad curiously as she helped get a plate ready for Mirabel. She was such a good big sister.

"But you have three kids. How is it gross?"

"It's grossing picturing you three doing that someday. I don't like it, and everyday I pretend I don't see it."

"What don't we see?"

Pepa walked in just in time, plates from Camilo's snack in hand. Mirabel sat at the table with her cut up fruits, looking up at her tìa.

"Mami and papi are gonna give me 'the talk'. Whatever that is."

"Oh! I can give it! It's-"

"NO!!"

Julieta, Luisa, and Isabela cried out, making Agustín and Mirabel raise a brow. Pepa huffed, clearly offended, before turning and leaving, muttering bitterly and thundering as she did so. Julieta sighed.

"Remind me to apologize later. Her talks are just very...detailed. But your father is right. Mirabel can get her period any day now, it's better that she's prepared."

"Is that the same period that makes Isabela cranky?"

Agustín nodded as he sat next to her at the table.

"Exactly. You see, a period is when you bleed for a week, once a month. Then your hormones go crazy. You could cry, you could get angry, you can feel tired, all of that."

Mirabel was paying attention so far, at least.

"Do boys get them?"

"No, boys don't. But they do go through things too. It's this thing called 'puberty'."

Julieta pushed some hair behind her ear as she continued to explain.

"You will also start to grow hair in new places. Under your arms, on your vagina, your legs-"

"And occasionally, even your face."

Mirabel dropped her fruit, and tears started to swell in her eyes. Oh dear god, this is why he hated giving the talk.

"I don't want a mustaaaaache!"

"You won't get one, mija! That's for boys, girl grow soft hair! Usually."

"So...Camilo will grow one?"

"Most likely, yes."

"....but he's gonna look so uuuuggggly!!!"

Three of the girls gave him a look that roughly translated to 'oh my god stop talking', before Isa stepped in.

"Sis, he can shapeshift. And shave."

Mirabel wiped her face, and nodded.

"Oh. Right."

Julieta motioned for Agustín to shut up, and let her talk.

"Now, back to the bleeding. You bleed to shed the lining of eggs inside of you. It's your body getting you ready to have babies of your own. It happened to Luisa, then to Isa, and it even happens to me and Pepa."

"But how does that help make babies?"

"It- Agustín stop making that face."

"I can't help it! I hate this part of parenting!"

"Well too bad, we're here. Okay so, your lining sheds so that way your eggs can be ready for a boy's semen. When you get semen, you get a baby nine months later. And you do that by having sex. Your papi is just worried because once you have your period, you might want to that stuff with a boy."

Luisa gave an uncomfortable smile as she took Mirabel's now empty plate.

"Then papi won't trust you with any boys, minus Camilo. I wasn't allowed to have any at my sleepover last year."

"That's nothing- papi says I can't have any for my quinceañera."

Agustín met the disapproving looks of everyone with a raised up finger.

"Hey, I just want to make sure no boys hurt my babies. Boys can't hurt you if they aren't there."

"Wonderful logic, Agustín."

He wanted to argue with his wife on this, when Mirabel piped up.

"But dad was a boy. And he's good to mami. So not all boys are bad."

"I mean. That is true, but-"

Agustín opened his mouth to retort, before sighing.

"So does this mean we can't have friends that are boys? That's most of my friends."

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'm being a bit much. I just love my girls. You can have friends that are boys. But no boyfriends. None of you date till you're married."

"Agustín that doesn't even-"

"I said what I said, sticking to it."

[weskers-boytoy]

vent lol

sometimes i genuinely wonder if i'm living my life correctly.

i get ill, i have fun days, i have sad days, i have days of doing absolutrly fuck all that bleed into weeks, i skip class, i don't do my coursework sometimes because i genuinely cannot.

i'm tired. i'm always tired, i'm in constant pain due to my binder and i just take a look at someone outside and think i wiah i was them. i wish i could go out there without my shirt on, to live happily and free but i can't. i have to wait for happiness. i have a support network of people but i still feel so cramped and alone.

it's been what? 5/6 years since i socially transitioned, i was never given hormone blockers, or anything because it took about 3 years to even get an appointment, only to talk about things i've had to dwell on and cope with while i live the way i have. i'm 18 in november, but something tells me the wait for surgery is gonna be another painstaking wait that prolongs the enevitable.

if i want it to come quicker i have to pay for it too?? over 7k just to get a chest i desire and even then i know i'll never be happy because deep down i'll never feel right with myself. i'll still bleed, i'll still face the envy toward cis men who got to be who they wanted from a young age. i feel like i've lost a lot of my life to this, being told i'll always be female 'cells', born a girl always a girl and it just sucks because sometimes i feel like they're right. i need to get a job but how can i cope with several hours standing and working if i can barely cope just sitting in a binder for half hour?

i don't know what's wrong with me, but i know one thing and it's that,

i'm really fucking tired.

[nothorses]

The ability to get pregnant means that in order to access my acne medication, I have to do monthly pregnancy tests, on my own dollar- despite the fact that I am on state health care- which means either purchasing a drugstore test with no option for reimbursement, or paying the $30 ferry fare (plus any parking costs) to drive into the city and up to the one lab that I can do a piss-in-a-cup test at which will also send my results to my dermatologist in a timely manner. Until a few months ago when a new law was passed to make OTC pregnancy tests an option at all, the lab in the city was my only option.

(I could not go to a closer lab, because prescribing this medication requires a particular licence that only a few people have, and no other dermatologist that is covered by my insurance has it in my area. The clinic she works at needs the lab to be in her clinic network.)

I also have to be on two methods of approved birth control. One of those methods is a hormonal birth control pill that has been causing various issues with my testosterone HRT for months now, but changing the north control methods is a fucking headache and a half that might stall access to my medication AGAIN, and it's a temporary medication, so the best option is to just put up with the cramping and bleeding until it's over 🤷‍♂️

Every month, I have to complete the pregnancy test, send a pic to my dermatologist to get her to send the scrip to my pharmacy, fill out an online survey about how dangerous it is to get pregnant before I can even get the pharmacy to fill it, and then I have to cross my fingers and hope they have it in stock and fill it in time, because if I don't pick it up in the seven day pickup window (which starts when I send my pregnancy test in, not when they fill the scrip), they won't let me pick it up until the next month. Because I might get pregnant in those seven days.

This is an issue because there is a shortage of this medication, there's only one pharmacy on the island (so I can't get it sent anywhere else), and shipments here are unreliable.

I've been off it for almost as many months as I've been on it because of issues with this process. It's supposed to be a six month thing, and I started it eight months ago- I still have another two months of the medication to finish.

The issues with this have been almost entirely due to the birth control requirements. The birth control requirements exist not because pregnancy would cause me personally any problems, but because the medication causes birth defects. Abortion in the event of a pregnancy is not considered in this process; it's assumed that if I did get pregnant, I would immediately stop taking the medication and carry it out.

It should also be of note that several states have been trying to outlaw birth control.

Anyway, if I didn't have a uterus, apparently I could just. Get the medication.

i literally had to fight for access to a medication i need to live bc it 'could cause miscarriages'. if i didnt have a uterus i would not have had to. what are these people on???

this happened to a friend of mine who needed medication for their rheumatoid arthritis. it’s fucked.

[i-lionheart]

Here for You | Loki x Reader fluff

"There are moments that the words don't reach. There's a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand; we push away the unimaginable." -Hamilton, "It's Quiet Uptown"

After an emotional night, Loki's partner leaves her Avengers Tower apartment, showing up in need of comfort at Loki's door.

before you read: loki x reader, 1.5k words, reader is afab nonbinary, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, partial nudity (non-sexual), cuddling/spooning, discussion of gender dysphoria, period mention, body dysphoria, discussion of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm.

tw: gender dysphoria, period mention, partial nudity (non-sexual), depression mention, suicidal thoughts, self harm mention. @ me if there's anything I forgot.

You padded down the hallway, clutching the stuffed animal and baby blanket that had protected you from your demons since you were a child. Since your apartments were right next to each other, it was only a short distance to Loki's door; when you reached it, you knocked quickly and stood there, anxiously chewing your the inside of your cheek as you waited.

You heard his heavy footsteps crossing the apartment. Though his voice was muffled by the door separating the two of you, the annoyance was unmistakable. "Thor, I told you, I'm-"

He opened the door. His words cut off abruptly as he realized that it wasn't, in fact, his older brother bothering him in the middle of the night. His heart and facial expression melted as he looked you up and down, taking in your disheveled appearance. You stared back at him nervously, unable to verbally express what you needed from him now that he was actually standing in front of you.

Luckily, you didn't have to.

In a heartbeat, Loki had crossed the threshold of his apartment, pulling you into a tight embrace. He pressed your head to his chest and you melted into him, the tears that had escaped you all night finally beginning to flow. "It's all right, darling," he murmured. "It's all right. I'm here now. It's all right."

The two of you stood there for a moment that felt like an eternity, your entire world reduced to the feeling of being in each others' arms, Loki caressing you and whispering soft reassurances. Once the waterfall of your tears had slowed to a mere trickle, Loki said, "All right. You're coming inside." He bent down and hooked one arm under your knees, lifting you into his arms as easily as if you were a child. You squeaked in surprise and buried your head in his chest, eliciting a small chuckle from the trickster god as he carried you into his apartment and eased the door shut behind you. He didn't put you down until the two of you were in his bedroom, when he pulled back the soft covers of his king-size bed and set you gently on the gold satin sheets. He climbed in beside you and pulled the covers up around you both, once again pulling you to his chest.

"You don't have to tell me what's going on," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

"It's my stupid period," you grumbled into his chest.

"What?" he said. "I thought you haven't had one for months now - didn't Strange get that sorted?"

"Yeah, but the hormones are still a fucking roller coaster."

"You mortals and your pesky bodies," he muttered into your hair. You couldn't help but giggle, despite your sadness. "What is it doing to you this time, darling?'

"Gender," you grumbled. "I'm fine with my body. I like my body. Or at least, most of the time I do, and then my hormones go insane and I hate it."

"Wishing you were a shapeshifter again, hmm?" Loki said. You nodded. "If I could give up my powers to you I'd do it in a heartbeat, dearest." You chuckled, in spite of yourself. "Thanks, babe."

"No problem," he replied. The two of you lay in comfortable silence for a moment, glad to just be in each other's presence. He caressed you gently - your hair, your arms, your back - then paused in confusion when he felt a seam under your shirt. He had never known you to wear a bra under your pajamas, especially given how much you hated to wear them during the day.

"Darling?" he asked, cautiously.

"Hmm?"

"Are you binding right now?"

"Yeah, but it's fine, I-"

"No, it's not," he cut you off sternly. "You know you're not supposed to. It's unsafe."

"Since when do you care about safety?"

"Since you tried to sleep in a binder. Sit up. It's coming off."

"Loki, really-"

"Now. You could do with some skin to skin anyways." His tone left no room for argument. Grudgingly, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, as did he.

"Arms up," he commanded. You rolled your eyes and did as he said, feeling like a toddler who needed their parents' help to get dressed. He lifted your shirt and gently pulled it over your head, then gathered it into a ball and tossed it on his floor. He removed your binder equally gently, careful not let the elastic snap or pinch, and tossed it on the floor on top of your shirt.

"Satisfied?" you said sarcastically.

"Not quite yet." He grasped the collar of the black t-shirt he was wearing and pulled it over his head in one fluid motion, adding it to the pile of clothing on his floor.

Though you had seen it a thousand times, you took in the sight of his chest, drinking in every inch of his skin. He caught your eye as you stared at him, and grinned. You blushed. "See something you like, pet?" he teased.

"Oh, shut up," you retorted as the two of you laid back down, snuggling into him again. He was right - the feeling of his skin, his strong arms wrapped around you, was incredibly soothing.

"I needed this," you murmured.

"I know."

A pause.

"I hate this body so much, sometimes. Like, I'm mostly okay with it, even proud of it, and then..."

You trailed off. He stroked your hair, whispering into it. "Take your time, love, it's all right."

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, and continued shakily. "It's just... sometimes, I look in the mirror, and I look at my face, and I feel so happy - my reflection matches who I am, I look like myself - and then I see my body and I remember and I just..." You swallowed thickly, fighting back tears. "I just want to die, sometimes. I wish I didn't have to exist and face every day in a body that's not mine, I want to hurt it, scar it, make it bleed. Anything to show that it doesn't belong to me, to make it pay. I hate it. And I know I shouldn't hurt myself, I know I gave that up a long time ago, but that urge never leaves. I hate it, I hate it so much. I know it's not right, but that voice never goes away, it just gets quiet enough to ignore until the next time something triggers it and I have to fight it again. It never stops, Loki. Never." Your tears were flowing freely now. You took a shuddering breath. "I'm just so, so tired of always fighting. I want peace. But I don't think I'll ever have it."

"Oh, pet." he said softly. "How long were you feeling like this before you came to get me?"

"Hours," you admitted, feeling small.

"Oh, darling," he said. You heard the pain in his voice, and knew that what he really meant was I'm sorry.

"It's going to be okay," he said, voice ever so tender, tracing wandering patterns on your skin. "I know it's hard, but you are strong. You are a fighter, and you will make it through this. I promise you. And I will do everything I can to help."

"Really?"

"Really, dearest. You never have to face this alone again. I'm right by your side. In fact, this settles it. You're moving in with me. Tomorrow."

"What?" You pulled away from him, startled, and looked up to see dead seriousness on his face.

"What about it, pet? You practically live here already."

"Loki, the others can barely accept the fact that we're together. We can't move in together. Tony will have a heart attack."

Loki grinned wickedly. "Good."

You slapped his arm playfully, scolding him. "No, it's not good. If Tony had a heart attack, the arc reactor would probably flatten half of Manhattan." He chuckled appreciatively. "Why's it so pressing for me to move in, anyway? Most days you hardly spend a second without me."

He paused, giving you a long, searching look. "Isn't it obvious?

"No." You looked away, avoiding the discomfort of his scrutiny.

"Look at me." You didn't move. He reached out and cupped your face in his large hand, lifting your chin. "Look at me, dearest," he repeated, softer this time. You tore your eyes away from the empty space you had fixed them on and looked at him, afraid of what you'd see. He looked back at you tenderly, eyes full of compassion and the thing you had been most afraid of seeing.

Love. His eyes were full of love.

"You spent an unnecessarily long time tonight fighting this alone, because I wasn't with you. I wasn't there to help you when you needed me." He stroked your cheek with his thumb, voice tight with emotion. "I cannot let that happen again."

"Loki," you breathed. "You care that much?"

"Oh, darling, of course I do," he said. "Of course I do. And I promise that you will never have to face these thoughts alone again."

if you enjoyed this fic, please consider reblogging so this work can find other people who might enjoy it!

[namisuki]

How can we dye our hair black from the inside out? #ChineseBlackSesameDESSERTSOUP.. Hey. I think I need to cut out the sweets for once and for all.. Hmm? I may think like this today but I will do the complete opposite when I feel the stress hormones surging through my veins again. Is that why my hands are starting to look veiny? Hmm. I want to go back to the past only to dig my own grave for my past self so I can be reborn again into the present moment the real. Me.. That is trying to pave her own way into a brighter future tomorrow. Hey. Let's go and be practical for once and forever. I mean.. Who's going to take care of my family but me yoooo? XD I mean who's going to take care of me but me

Duh

FACEPALM straight on my flat face. Let's go~ 🎤😭💬 I.... WONDER WHO U AREEEEE? I DON'T KNOW YOU~ BUT U MAKE ME WONDER WHOOO UUU RRRR LALALALALAAL... GOSH. Ooooooorrreaaallly what does being practical mean? It means u r having all your thousand hands like a Boddhisattva on this deck ⛵.. Dude I am about to go to the otherside in my imagination for now because who is this quarantine made for? Us human beings have... The right hemisphere for a reason.. It is for me to.. Cross.. Towards Euphoria... Because.. 💯✨✨✨I 👁️👃👁️👂this Peaceful Melody calling me in the left hemisphere of my brain hahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhaahah XD dude. I feel like a total alien on this planet earth. Who's my captain hook maan..... Ok

Jaaa you

Goodnight. I love the song "Sorry" it reminds me not to feel sorry for myself but to actually make something out of my future..? Out of my present moment.. But my.. I seem to be everywhere right now. That is why..I don't speak or say a lot in real life. My words hold no meaning if they are not backed up by any actions. Let me take some action right now.. 🎬🎞️I don't like to cut corners but u may cut me some slack while I don't want to slack off so I have to take... Some action now... This is weird... Why do movies exist? I guess........... This is..... For me to find out. I want to be Sonmi... 45..1..?xd ha no.. I don't know. I don't want to be anyone but me.. That is liable to play different characters in a different.. Time zone.. Eh.. Anytime.. Call me.. Don't call me... I will pick up... This line is dead straight.. Haha hahahahahahha ha... Gosh. Bye! I get lost inside my own head. It is not funny anymore

The world must be brighter outside my head.. Hmm.. I wonder how my life looks like when I live from. My heart space? 🤔🤭😇🥳... 🤠🏇.. Ehhhtooooaaoaoaoaooa CD.... I ate his CD for breakfast and now I sound like a broken record hahahahahaahah k.. I have to get some 🎥 soul going on in my room because my room is... Seoullesssssswwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dude. People that read this may that I am weird.. But maybe u are... This.. Really... No nonsense type of person like me.. But u know what... This kind of.. Doesn't make sense to. Me either but it does.. In a very weird.. Paradoxical way... I sneezed. Goodnight. Take care. I will do what I didn't do a few weeks ago. I am behind. But I will catch up. Don't Heinz me. Byebye! 😭😂✨✨😁✨✨✨😁😁✨✨✨✨🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅~ aserejee jee Haa jshajajana I forgot that song.. The ketchup song made me.. Boogy woogy... I forgot them lyrics do Ooooo hahahahahaahah OK. 🎶

I want to do a cover of the Rose's song or a cover of my beloved.... 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫.... Eric Nampyeonieeeeeeeee.. I swear I do not dare to talk like this to him again, because this is kind of cringy? I actually dont want to be with u-ooh anymore because I don't love people that cheat on me? I don't even know you yet so how is this cheating? XD sassaeng 101.. Is what people will say but I don't mind. I think what matters most is that we are able to express how we truly feel without suffocating one another with our words. Ain't it right

Heeeeeh.. I don't think I am right but...for now I want to be myself again. Sigh. I am sick of hiding my heart inside a really suffocating chamber myself so... Hmm.. I miss this... Larger than life feeling I got when I was standing on the mountain top back in China. Ha. Or in Italy. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ Some people are experts in letting pasts be bygones but I don't think I am that great in it yet so let me start from now on. Honestly, I don't think anyone can just let bygones be bygones.. Without... Harboring some.. Thorns inside their own hearts.. Can they? XD I mean can we? Can I? Yes!.! A. A! Said yes we can. Yes I can. So yes we can. Alrighties. Ssssssleep well.... Use the time we have to build a stable foundation for the children of tomorrow~ duhuhuuhu... I can be one of them or I am one of them and so are you! No matter how old you are now. I am still convinced that we are all... Babies, turning into adults... Becoming grans and gramps of the universe.. Reaping or sowing tiny gems of wisdom into the planet earth 🌱🌲🌳🌴🌵🌾🌿☘️🍀🍃🎋🎄.. And what more? I know I can not be the person I wanted to be a while ago or I know that is trying to emerge from. Within me in just a split second because.. Like an onion.. I don't like to eat

U have to peel it one layer by one layer... Until u reach its core.. It is the essence that is able to kill our eyeballs with a fragrance that even garlic can't top... Off this vampire diary is ending now. I have to take care of. My psychical needs? Body now. My gums are bleeding red like the Rose I couldn't receive from Eric Nam a while ago lol. Hahahahah hahahaha. So I got a digital rose instead and honestly I am glad he sung that song because it got me like wooooo hahahahahahha. XD gosh. I have to buy myself a guitar for.. The birthday I wish I could attend a bit sooner than now.. But this date of birth is only starting... In September so.. Uhm.. Let's pray COVID-19 is ending soon so I can flyyyyyy away.... Save money

And... Uhhhhhmmm u know. There are a lots of places left for us as human beings to visit and a physical! Geographical location u can see, hear, taste or.. Feel or any other senses we can use to.. Discover planet earth is not one of them... I want to take everyone to Euphoria soon, with notes🎶 that will give me paper that means something to the society so I can pay my bills and live a happy and peaceful life with my hooman!.. MAN. MAN MAN MAN WHERE R THOU? OK. I DON'T NEED A MAN IS WHAT MODERN AGE WOMEN SAY IS WHAT I SAID TOO BUT OOOOLAAAAAAYAAAAJAKAKAKKAAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKA I JUST WANT A PSYCHOLOGIST I CAN TALK TO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IN ZE BATHROOM BECAUSE I NEED A SINK TO BRUSH MY TEETH IN NOW BECAUSE IT IS BED TIME. OK. go.. PEACHES and cream are nice but u know what sets avocado's on fire?...... Chilli pepper flakes in the form of gochugaruuUuUuuiu haru haru😂😂🤣😅🤭 hahahahah.... I need to see if I can find someone as gross as me... Just kiddink actually we don't ... P💩P.. We let go~ of our goals.. That do not benefit anyone but ourselves... Because we have to embrace the golden Middle way that is going to help us... All... Go Back to or come through this heaven's doooorr.... 🚽🧻🚪🎤😇🤝😇🎻��🌐☮️🎸🎷🥁🎹.. This sounds like a peaceful melody that I can jam to.. For.. Longer than... This evening is really weird. I literally did nothing but roam in my own head space and the only thing I found was something that my heart didn't want to see because my soulmate said.. 🤫🤐Worry no more~ u are right where u are~ just take it slow 🐢 and we can go there anytime when you are ready, I am ready! When we are ready.. HUMANITY WILL BE READY TOO! SO LET'S GOAAAL 💗❤️💖🧡💛💚💙💜.. FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME I am going to bed. 🎶

[redshiftsinger]

SERIOUSLY.

I got a hormonal IUD a little over a month ago, and HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. SHIT.

It hasn't (yet) completely stopped my period, but they say sometimes it takes a few months for your body to settle down to what's going to be the long-term status quo with it. But the period I had since i got it? Three hours of cramping that barely crossed my "eeh yeah I think I want a painkiller about this" threshold, and about five days of spotting. MUCH less of a pain to deal with than a full typical period! (typical for me: one whole day of heavy cramping that comes in waves and is sometimes intense enough to make walking difficult, sometimes some lingering cramping into day two but less intense, blood pressure drops and dizziness, moderate amount of bleeding).

also, the one-to-two weeks pre-period phase of fatigue and low-key crankiness and demotivation reduced to one day. ONE. DAY.

My energy levels are up, my mood swings are down, and the uncomfortable breast cyst that hangs out right at the edge of my tit where my bra band puts pressure on it, which I was seriously considering having removed just because it was so annoyingly located, chilled the entire fuck out and shrank to barely-noticeable and no-longer-uncomfortable.

The only downside of getting it was about two days of feeling noticeably hormonally off-kilter right after it was put in (and of course, the physical discomfort of the insertion process, that's not the world's most fun thing but hey, less bad than a typical period, so I'll take it without complaint), and then one round of a big hormonal-change breakout of pimples that lasted about a week before it started clearing up rapidly. ABSOLUTELY worth tolerating those short-term effects for the prospect of getting to now go seven years without periods or nearly as much concern about potential pregnancy in the event of condom mishaps. (and I don't expect to want to get pregnant anytime soon, but if that changes, you get your typical full fertility back within a few days of getting it removed)

Also relevant: Planned Parenthood is great, they don't judge your reasons for wanting hormonal birth control, they don't judge you for being queer, they just give you good health information based on your relevant circumstances and let you pick out what you want. I'm never going anywhere else for gyno exams again. Oh, and you do NOT have to be low-income/uninsured to be able to use their services. I have good insurance that covered my visit -- and it helps them out to be able to bill insurance, because they can bill for the full amount that insurance will pay for the services provided, rather than using their sliding fee scale, which helps them be able to provide the subsidized care for people who don't have good insurance and can't afford much. And if you ARE low-income and uninsured, they charge you based on your income and really really try to make reproductive health care affordable for everyone.

I know reducing stigma around periods is important, but also i kept being told my periods were normal and natural and "feminine" or whatever, so i desperately tried to embrace my periods even though they made me dysphoric and they caused excruciating pain and my flow was exceedingly heavy. Nobody ever told me that i could hate my period and that i could stop having it until i realized i was trans (in my 30s).

I just want people to know they don't have to have a period. Birth control can be used for cis women and trans people to stop your period (or lighten it significantly if that's what you want), so you don't even need to be on testosterone to stop it (I'm not).

So yeah, talk to a gynecologist about stopping your period today.

[tinyhatonapumpkin]

Imagine repeating this myth on a post about insulin that literally brought up the fact that it was invented here, in Canada, not USA.

Like do you think the rest of the world just sits around twiddling their thumbs waiting for American medical researchers to come up with cures and treatments?? We participate in medical research too bud!! And even in USA the vast majority of medical breakthroughs are made with public dollars, not by pharmaceutical companies. Y'all are being gouged. Corporations rising the prices on lifesaving medications bc they CAN. Bc they know that you will pay bc if you don't you'll die!

Like why tf is your insulin so expensive? It was invented by a Canadian in the 20s. What could the recent jump in price be doing for it? Insulin still helps diabetes the same as always, it's not like antibiotics that's dealing with a crisis. It's just a hormone that diabetics can't produce they way they need, so they need it supplemented. It's cheap as hell to produce, bc we've been doing it for a while - we've gotten good at it. Why do you need to charge people out the ass for it?

Same with epi-pens. It's just epinephrine. A small easily administered dose of a hormone that helps during anaphalaxis. Same shit that's been around for decades. The shitstain who jacked the price on that out of greed was literally taken to court over it!

Don't buy into the corporate propoganda. They're just bleeding you dry bc they're greedy. Not because they actually need the money.

[fucks sakes Banting literally sold his patent for $1 bc he just wanted to help people, that was his goal. He didn't do it for the money, he did it because people were dying. Hell even one of your own medical researchers of old; the one who came up with the polio vaccine, Jonas Salk. When asked why he didn't patent it AT ALL, he scoffed and said "could you patent the sun??". Medicine isn't a business. It's about helping people. I know a lot of people, especially in the states, have lost sight of that but... Seriously. We need to remember that. Now more than ever.]

I wonder if Americans realize how much their healthcare costs are impacting other countries. Like you keep hearing about people going to Canada or Mexico to buy insulin bc they can’t afford it in USA, and then usually people leave the discussion at that.

But like…. Border towns in Canada (and I’d imagine in Mexico also) are starting to suffer insulin shortages bc of the sheer number of Americans going across the border to buy insulin.

Canada’s population is much smaller than USA’s. We can’t keep up with demand. Especially bc Americans are going in groups, big caravans to buy the insulin all at once. Depleting our stores leaving barely any left for Canadians.

Like I’m not being heartless, I don’t want American diabetics to suffer, I WANT them to have access to insulin. I’m just pointing out that this is quickly becoming an international crisis. If this keeps up, many fear that Canada won’t be able to continue having cheap insulin bc scarcity drives up prices. Which will not only worsen the problem for Americans, but will also screw over Canadians in the process (our healthcare coverage doesn’t cover medications btw!)

And as Canadians we don’t have a say in the factors that led to the problem in the first place. We can’t vote for politicians that would do something about the problem, we can’t do any political or social action in USA to fix it, we’re just. Getting screwed with no say in it!

And insulin was fucking invented here for fucks sakes!

[jivestation]

I'd like to add on to this as trans man who has already given birth once and really can't afford to again both from a physical and a financial standpoint. I love and adore my daughter, she is a beautiful bright shining star but having her nearly killed me.

I had pre-eclampsia from my second trimester on and I mean the beginning of my second trimester. Here's the thing though my doctor didn't tell me. Not through my whole pregnancy. I didn't find out until later. I knew my blood pressure was too high and I knew during my urinalysis that it kept coming back as having too much protein in it but I didn't know what that meant. Nobody in a position to explain what that meant would tell me what was going on when it mattered. Instead of receiving the correct care for pre-eclampsia I was given no care other than the last month of my pregnancy being put on bed rest and going in for more frequent prenatal checkups.

That was it.

It was so bad that I couldn't even walk around the store to pick up eggs and a gallon of milk because I actually went to the store to do that and blacked out because my blood pressure had spiked too high. My life was put in serious danger and the damage done to my body has taken me years to recover from.

To make matters worse I took off in total 6 weeks for maternity leave, 4 weeks before the due date because my body was shutting down and physically could no longer work and then 2 after to recover. Mind you I really needed more than 2 because I was still bleeding buckets and my whole body still just hurt from the nightmare it had gone through but even with Medicaid covering the cost of medical bills my boyfriend at the time didn't make enough to pay our rent and put food on the table alone. We burned through all our savings so I could be out of work 6 weeks.

If I got pregnant again I'm not financially stable enough to have another kid and more than that I'm scared it would kill me. Now obviously I have birth control. I use a copper IUD because the hormones in other types of birth control make me feel funky and it's the most effective birth control out there. Even it can fail though and if it does I run a higher risk for ectopic pregnancy.

I can try to be my safest but no matter what there will always be that slim chance I could get pregnant again. While right now I live in a state that hasn't tried to pass one of these laws yet it is a red state and they might decide to hop on the bandwagon soon. The nearest abortion provider is already an almost three hour drive out of state because the one clinic in state is five hours from where I live. I live in a place that already makes it absurdly difficult to get to with mandatory in person counseling, 24 hour waiting periods, ultrasounds, and the works. If I got pregnant again though I couldn't afford not to get one. I was lucky. I went through an extremely dangerous pregnancy and made it out alive. For the sake of the child I have I'm not willing to risk going through that again and while I hope I never need to access that kind of care I can really see how dangerous limiting that kind of care is.

Ok so I'm not going to do this anonymously because i don't fear getting chastised for my own ignorance but there are other alternatives to abortion aren't there? I mean i honestly don't understand this bill nonsense but it mostly at least to me sounds like it's just to keep children alive. I mean there are adoption centers and people who will actually pay women who are pregnant to act as surrogates. Why is anti abortion so bad? And how is this a woman's autonomy probpem. Please educate me

First, I want to thank you for acknowledging that your perspective on this may be informed from a place of systemic oppression of AFAB people, and for seeking out information. When people add on to this post with the purpose to educate, I implore you all to remember this person is seeking information. Please avoid shaming them or ridiculing them.

Let’s first address your questions:

1) “There are other alternatives to abortion aren’t there?”

Let’s first define abortion. “In medicine, an abortion is the premature exit of the products of conception (the fetus, fetal membranes, and placenta) from the uterus. It is the loss of a pregnancy and does not refer to why that pregnancy was lost. A spontaneous abortion is the same as a miscarriage. The miscarriage of three or more consecutive pregnancies is termed habitual abortion or recurrent pregnancy loss”  (Shiel MD, MedicineNet).

¼ womxn will have abortions in their lifetime. Abortion is a medical procedure that can be requested or required for a lot of different reasons:

The pregnant person may not be able to carry an embryo to term safely.

The pregnant person may not have the financial support to pay for the medical bills that pregnancy costs in the US (prenatal and delivery alone can cost around $18k).  

I also want to add that people in this country are not given any kind of financial support for the time taken off for prenatal or postnatal care. Being out of work for this time could mean entering extreme poverty.

The pregnant person may not have the financial support or stability of lifestyle to support a child.

The pregnant person may not be physically up to the task of carrying a child to term and delivering. Not all womb-having people are up to what childbirth does to the body. Childbirth is one of the most dangerous things that a body can be put through.  In the US we’re just under 20 maternal deaths per 100,000 births, which is the highest in the developed world. Some undeveloped countries have better stats than we do

Abortion may be required as an emergency life-saving procedure for the pregnant person. And waiting for approval by a committee could mean the death of that person.

Medical interference can also be needed if the embryo has already been determined unviable (basically will not ever have life) because having dead tissue remain in the womb will kill the person. Wombs don’t always do what they’re supposed to and often they will still act as if the pregnancy is going along normally when the embryo stopped growing and forming.

Abortion as a medical procedure is part of basic reproductive healthcare. Denying it is like denying the use of a c-section or blood transfusions.

I also want to add that many of these GOP states are seeking to classify any and all contraceptives as “abortion” as well. This isn’t included in this bill specifically but it’s been named as part of their agendas.

2) “I mean I honestly don’t understand this bill nonsense but it mostly at least to me sounds like it’s just to keep children alive.”According to the CDC, 91.1% of abortions are performed at ≤13 weeks’ gestation. At this time, this is an embryo and fetal tissue. It’s not a child. Pro-life people are placing the eventual *possible* life of a being that isn’t even formed yet above the autonomy and rights of a living human being (the pregnant person). A zygote without a brain or the ability to survive outside the womb is not a person, and therefore not a child. We have determined that something without brain activity is not alive. People with wombs are not incubators. This is not the sum of our existence.

Right now you cannot force a person to give blood or organs in life-saving situations. Why should it be okay to force a person to donate their entire body as an incubator if they don’t want to, which has health complications, and long-lasting effects on the body? We even afford humans that are DEAD more rights than womb-having people in this country. It is illegal to take organs or tissue from dead bodies with no brain activity without consent, but it’s legal to force a living person to act as an incubator for tissue and chromosomes that aren’t even formed to make a person yet?

Also, this bill has SO much more nuanced support for the oppression of women than just keeping “children” alive. This affords the state the right to investigate any suspicion of “intentional abortion.” This means, if a person miscarries, they may be subject to invasive investigation and murder charges on top of grieving for their loss and recovering medically. This bill also in no certain terms basically considers all womb-having people in their state to be the property of the state by allowing people to be extradited and charged if they have a LEGAL abortion procedure in another state.

3) “I mean there are adoption centers and people who will actually pay women who are pregnant to act as surrogates. Why is anti-abortion so bad?” We currently have 108,000 foster children up for adoption right this second in the US. This doesn’t even include unwanted pregnancies being given to private adoption agencies. Adopt one if you want to save a child, but forcing people to enter crippling debt, put their body through the abuse of childbirth, and possible forced poverty because of lack of childcare or compensation for missing work isn’t okay.

Additionally, anti-abortion really only seems to be concerned with one thing - popping out children. There is ZERO concern for the health, wellbeing, or survival of that child OR the parent afterward. This is oppressive and forced childbirth expectations. And again, reduces womb-having people as nothing more than a means to an end. Their life and wellbeing aren’t considered - they’re incubators.

4) “How is this a woman’s autonomy problem.”All of the above. The entire idea of denying women normal reproductive medical procedures or criminalize a natural thing that our bodies DO is inherently oppressive. Deciding that a womb-having person is just supposed to do their best to carry to term an embryo regardless of danger to their life, medical needs, e, inability to care for the child, inability to pay medical bills, or the abuse that childbirth puts on the body… and possibly condemning them to death, poverty, or life-long debt removes the ability for a person to choose what is done or what is done TO their body. It’s inherently oppressive.

Make no mistake, these bills have very little to do with saving the lives of children, and everything to do with keeping women impoverished, oppressed, and without any control over their own bodies and lives. These bills are also written and signed without ANY input or oversight primarily by the people they affect. This is not a choice that womb-having people made… these are oppressive laws being forced upon them.

Some final personal notes from me: I am currently in a place where I would suffer greatly from these laws if they were to be implemented in my state. First of all, if I were to get pregnant, mine would be a high-risk pregnancy. It is likely that I could lose the pregnancy anytime within the first two trimesters, which would require an abortive procedure to remove the remaining tissue. If I’m to get pregnant, I need to know that modern medical procedures that are agreed to be the most effective best practices would be available to me by a doctor without the threat of criminalization or debating on whether it’s necessary/legal. This affects all people who may ever become pregnant. This is a clear and present fear for us. It’s not just anti-abortion. If that’s all it was… the answer would be simple, don’t have one. If you need one to save your life, you can choose to say no. But it’s not. This is about controlling womxn, denying us healthcare, and we are afraid. We are all desperately terrified of this becoming the new normal across our country. ONE in FOUR pregnancies ends in the need for abortion. And if you need one, you get one. This is about whether or not we have access to SAFE and MEDICALLY sanctioned abortions. 

I really encourage you to do some additional research and reading from educational sites. Be wary of both FOX News, CNN, major news networks, and any journalists with a religious agenda. Further reading: https://prochoice.org/education-and-advocacy/downloads-resources/https://iwhc.org/2018/09/abortion-normal-and-vital/https://www.prochoiceamerica.org/issue/abortion-access/I’d really appreciate if any followers could tack on additional resources, statistics, and personal stories. This is SO important. 

[link-the-feral-anon]

Sorry, had to shower

FUCK ESSAYS first of all

Second of all

With the exception of 18 and 19 year olds, teenagers are kids. They're children. Oh, and we'll get to the 18 and 19 year olds in a minute here.

Teenagers are kids. Their minds are no where near being fully developed. Their emotions and hormones are all in a tizzy and about half of them not only bleed once a month for a week, but their already-in-a-tizzy emotions go effen haywire and they get gods awful cramps. Plus!!! They have to go through fucking high school.

Adults will have to audacity to tell you, the hormonal, going through puberty, may or may not be dealing with that Once A Month Bleeding Fest That Lasts 3-7 Fucking Days, emotion fucking mess, they will tell you to Calm Down and "be rational" because your problems "won't matter ten or even three years from now."

Which, by the way, is bullshit. It could matter. It could still be eating at you. That's what therapy's for. No, seriously. Therapy is not a Bad Thing. It's a very good thing and if you need it, and yes, merely thinking you need means you need it, you deserve to get it. It will help you.

And, yeah, sure, it might not matter in the future, but that's okay. The future is not today and it matters now. I don't care how First World Problems your problem is, it matters to you and therefore it matters because you matter.

Adults will have the audacity to say all that to you, to expect you to Act Like Adults and then, and fucking then, turn around and Treat You Like Children.

They will sit there and guilt you for not knowing better and then turn around and act as though you don't know better about fucking anything.

Now, you 18 and 19 year olds. You Just got done with All That Condescending Bullshit, right? But now! Now! You're adults! Actually Actual Adults! Surely now the other Adults will Finally Treat You Like One

But nope! You'd be Wrong! They Still Treat You Like Kids, the only difference is that Now you're a kid who has bills to pay and clothes to buy and along with all the other Adult Stuff

Half of you Still bleeds for a week once a month and your brains still haven't fully developed, but fuck, you're adults. Now you're Forced ((well, moreso Forced, you still had to before)) to Act Like An Adult because, you know, you are, but! You're Still! Treated! Like! A! Child!

In conclusion bc I Need Sleep, teenagers are the Angriest fucking creatures on the planet and they have every fucking right to be because all this is really just the tip of the iceberg of what teens, both kid and adult, have to deal with

I'll leave you guys with the best damn comeback to being told to Act Like An Adult

For the kids, "I can't. I'm just a kid. How about you start being one instead."

For my fellow adults, "I can't. It's impossible to Act like something I already am. If all you do is act like an adult, maybe stop calling yourself one."

Demand that the adults/other adults around start Being Adults instead of merely acting like adults.

I’m actually really upset that cringe culture and online mass teasing pretty much destroyed the Scene and Emo communities.

Because like... damn. Let kids be upset and confused and wear all black and neon. Let them be sharp and loud and angry and sad. Let them have harsh tongues and music that screams out some of the shit going on in their heads.

Let them grow without making fun of them.

Christ. Let people wear what they want to wear. It’s not hurting anyone.