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what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

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Here is a skill that many of us are going to need for survival: how to tell if someone is offering to let you lie.

The tip-off phrase is "If [circumstance] was true, then we/I could do [helpful thing.]" This is not a guarantee that the person is offering, but it should tell you "I am being informed of a way to improve things."

Your confirmation phrase is "What documentation would that require?" This is essentially asking them "if people come asking me to prove this, will I be able to? Or will they not come at all?"

The answer you are hoping for with the confirmation phrase is "Just tell me if it's true, and I'll put it on the form." Note that this is not a direct instruction to lie, because they can't tell you that.

If they didn't mean to extend an offer to lie or this is a situation where they can't, then they'll list off something like your paystubs or your birth certificate. Your response back in that case is "Thanks, I'll tell my friends who qualify." This clears you of any concerns that you may have been considering lying.

The more complex answer is when they answer by giving you a form on the spot. Your job, in this case, is to scan the form and see if what they are asking you can be meaningfully verified by an official source.

Things that can be verified by an official source include, but are not limited to, your age, legal sex, income, veteran status, and place of residence. It's not generally a good idea to lie about these on official documents.

Be smart, and be practical. Do what you need to in order to stay alive, and keep an ear out for the people offering to help you do so.

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Admin face reveal

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gonna be a hater for a minute, reblog and put in the tags the last movie that you HATED like viscerally hated like 1/2 star on letterboxd HATED

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that lady has gotttttt to stop branding herself as TS

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i'm still thinking about that cowboy fic that used the stoplight system because one of the cowboys had a prophetic dream about modern traffic control systems...and while i find this hilarious i think it would be even better to try and reverse engineer stoplight colors for kink, but for completely context-appropriate reasons.

like a caveman au

"when grug think color green...grug see big field of grass. and grug like to run in grass. grug goes! grug goes far.

when grug think yellow...grug see yellow grass. grug know that cold time is soon. grug slow down. grug prepare.

when grug think red...fire. big fire. red and burn. grug get hurt! grug stop. grug done."

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2013 tumblr was crazy. do you guys remember the scandinavia and the world webcomic artist getting a callout post over having an inflation fetish

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I hate the online safety act these are pictures OF MY OWN BUM taken and sent to me by my boyfriend in a private dm that aparently I need to ask the government if I want to look at.

these days in britain if you try to look at a picture of your own bum they arrest you a throw you in jail

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For every post discussing fatphobia on here there are 10 skinny people in the notes who have supposedly been encountered by the nefarious "burger man" who tells people to eat more burgers

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Had my suspicions but I have finally confirmed it this morning: The rival Pokémon Go team I have been beefing with, whose gym's total annihilation I have incorporated into my morning routine, is actually a group of local elementary school students

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tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

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Look me straight in the eyes and tell me your current music taste isn’t what your father played in the car when you were a kid.

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Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland