#blasphemy is kinda sexy

[cinnamoth-art]

“This, this here, could be worship. ‘This—’ Lucifer pressed an innocent kiss to the prince’s sweet, divine mouth. This could be religion.”

― rafael nicolás, Angels Before Man

I've been reading Angels Before Man again and it has made me cry just as much as the first time. I think about Lucifer pretty often and the fate he's been saddled with, I figured he's due some righteous anger

[iwassupremacy]

Good Girl

Sawamura Daichi x f reader

Part two

Summary: your whole life all you ever wanted to be was faithful and pure. Saving yourself for marriage to honor God and your Family. You would never give in to any kind of sin. At least that’s what you thought. Until one day you met him. He was so gentle and so loving and so so… dirty. How did you get into this mess?!

Warnings: smut, safe sex, aged up characters, softdom!Daichi, sub!reader, inexperienced!reader, virgin!reader, first time, crisis of faith, blasphemy (kinda), reader has mommy issues, lots of praise, also lots of begging, petnames, nipple play, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, big dick Daichi, penetration, mentions of multiple orgasms, Daichi’s a consensual king!!

Let me know if I missed anything.

“Amen”

You left church in your floaty white dress. It was a little too short for your liking, so you felt a little bad all through the service but it was such a hot summer day that you just had to make a little exception.

You thought to yourself that it for sure won’t be a problem since you’ve been so good all your life. As long as your mother didn’t see it would be fine. For her you just never tried hard enough. Never were good enough. But you had God. So who else would you even need to be truly happy, right?

-

“C’mon babyyy, you’re gonna love it! I just know it. The music will be soo good. And if it makes you feel any better I will be driving, so we both won’t be drinking. Even though, I have to say, I think it won’t kill you to have a shot or something and a little fun here and there. I’m sure Jesus will forgive you.” your best friend tried to convince you, once again.

She does this every second Friday of every month since every second Saturday they would play your favorite music at her favorite club.

You never understood why it was so important to her for you to get so close to potentially dinning. She called it fun.

You called it temptation. Alcohol wasn’t really a sin in itself. It was rather what could come from drinking it.

“I’m not seeking anyone’s forgiveness. I don’t want to give God a reason to have to forgive me.” You never once in your life even had to confess.

“Whatever. Please come? I am begging you!”

Most of the time you said no, so it really surprised you that she never gave up.

She was just so persistent.

“Okay I’ll go. Under one condition. You don’t ask me for at least three months.”

Most of the time you said no. Not every time. Maybe one of the reasons why she never stopped asking.

“Deal!”

-

“I am so not wearing this. Not a chance.” You looked at the tiny blue dress your best friend held in her hands. Not only was it way to short but it was also very tight. You had seen it on her before and it was beautiful but just too revealing for the way you were raised.

“C’mon don’t be such a prude! You’d look so hot and… if I can say. Fuckable. Not that you have to fuck but you’d certainly not pay ANYTHING tonight.”

“Stop it. I’m not being a prude, I just have my beliefs and values. So I would like to wear this please. What’s wrong with this?”

She looked down on you raising her eyebrows and sighing. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s cute I guess. Just not for a club. You look like you’re gonna sell me a house or something.”

She probably had a point. You were wearing a pencil skirt and a blouse after all.

“Okay so I have a few tricks up my sleeve that would make you look like you just got of off work and went to the club right after. Sexy but still formal. What do you say?”

You gave in. She had to have her fun every once in a while. You too were so different that most of the time it surprised you she was even friends with you. “Okay let’s do it.”

-

“And??”

“It looks… good. I’m actually surprised. Thank you.”

“I knew you would like it! Ah I am a genius.” she said in a sing sang voice.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. The first three buttons of your blouse were opened which was just enough to expose your collarbones but not your cleavage. Your hair was pinned up messily. Just as if it once was sleek and fell apart because you were at work or generally doing something.

You looked down. Your skirt was at knee length and even though you purposefully picked it it just didn’t fit the vibe.

You sighed. She’s gonna love this you thought.

“Do you have a mini skirt? Or, i don‘t know, a pencil skirt that’s a little shorter than mine? I don’t like the way this looks.“

She let out a little squeak of excitement. „Yes! I have the perfect skirt for you.“

-

Pulling on the black denim skirt the third time in 10 minutes you wondered what you were thinking agreeing to this. Sure you went to the club before but never in anything this revealing. Your thighs were out!

At least it covers my ass for all I know…

“10$ and ID please.” you did as you were told by the security and after getting through you were immediately introduced by the smell of sweat and alcohol, naked bodies and loud music.

“I’m gonna get myself a drink and a hot man to pay. You should do the same! Or should I bring you a coke later on?” She screamed over the sound of hips don’t lie.

“I’ll be fine go and have fun!”

It was kinda always like this which was one of the many reasons why you didn’t understand why she needed you to come with her in the first place.

Of course you danced together and she would never leave without you but the first two hours you were without an exception always alone.

That was the time where she found herself any good looking young man to flirt with and get drunk without paying.

Sometimes she even made out with these men but it rarely happened.

Later she always came back to you very tipsy and you guys danced the night away until your feed hurt.

Of course her understanding of dancing the night away was very different from yours but so far that was never a problem.

You had different lifestyles but deep down the same morals and values which is what was most important.

“Can I?”

Your had quickly turned around and collapsed with the hard chest of a tall man.

Out of reflex he put his hand on your waist which caused you to jump and immediately take two steps back.

„Sorry?“

You stared at him a little too long for your liking. But he was just so gorgeous. Sharp jaw line, short black hair with an undercut, subtle hint of a beard and oh so many muscles.

„I asked you if I you could let me pass. I kinda need to get to the bar my friend is hitting on a random woman. Again.“

You blinked just now finding a way back to reality.

„Yes! Sorry!“

Quickly you took a step aside.

The stranger chuckled. „Don’t worry. It’s not that important. He just can be very- persistent.“

You couldn’t help but take a look at the bar. Only spotting your best friend who already held her first drink of the night in her hand and was sitting dangerously close to a young man with greyish hair.

Tonight there would be a little make out session. You could already tell.

„Who‘s your friend?“ you asked still not looking back at him.

Suddenly he was really close. His hand on your back, right between your shoulders, his head next to yours. You could literally feel this strange man everywhere.

For some reason it didn’t bother you. In your eyes he was still very polite about it.

„See him over there? Right next to the girl in pink.“

Now you looked at him. More shocked than anything else though.

„Gray hair?“

„Yes gray hair. Why‘re you so surprised? He‘s not that old.“ the man laughed

„Ohh yeah I‘m sure of that.“ you let out a child like giggle. „The girl in pink is my best friend. So no need to worry. I bet she hit on him first.“

He let out a loud laugh and looked at you. “Then these two belong together I suppose, hm.” His expression suddenly changed to something way more serious and he said:

“Maybe you and I belong together as well. I believe in fate, do you, sweetheart?” His voice was so deep and his aura so masculine that it made you feel all shy.

-

“And then he said don’t take it the wrong way as if he didn’t just say the most vile thing to my face!” Daichi, you found out that was his name right after the two of you decided to spend the rest of the night together, chuckled. “It’s interesting what you call vile. At least to me it’s rather a statement than an insult.”

You gulped looking at your empty glass. “He called me fuckable. In the presence of my mother and father. It’s disrespectful.”

“It’s true.” You chocked looking at him in disbelief. Did he just call you fuckable?! “Wouldn’t’ve said it in front of your family, of course. But it’s true nonetheless.”

You felt his eyes peering into your soul. Staring you down as if he waited for you to say something. Do something. Instead you stood up. “I need- I’m going to get a new soda. See ya.” And then you left him behind. Feeling his eyes following your every move.

When you came back Daichi was on his phone, seemingly not paying any more thought to what had just happened. Being a gentleman man once again, he put his phone down, the moment he noticed you. Smiling at you in a calming manner. As if he senses your unsure demeanour.

“What is it with you?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“There’s something about you. Something I can’t explain. You seem so- pure? But not childlike. Mature and confident. But still shy and bashful when talking about sex or alcohol. You’ve surely done those things, right? I mean you must be my age. Everyone has done those things by now.”

You blushed. You fricking blushed. Not once in your life were you ever embarrassed of your inexperience and most definitely not about the reason why. But now. Now you were. Not embarrassed by your religion or its beliefs of course, but by your lack of a response. Instea you started to stutter like a child. He interrupted your little stammer of words.

“You’re a virgin. Aren’t you?” You chocked on your spit. Quickly trying to gain back some semblance of confidence. “I am, yes. I don’t see any shame in that.”

“No, no, you’re right. There isn’t. It just surprises me. What are you waiting for? The one?” He let out a unbelievable loud laugh. As if that was the most ridiculous thought he’d ever thought about.

“Marriage, actually. I am very religious, you know. That’s also why I haven’t been drinking tonight.” He looked at you, eyes wide open. Mouth lightly agape. Now it was you who laughed, even if only quietly.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to- I didn’t want to disrespect you or your beliefs. I- god this is embarrassing. I’m sorry. Really.”

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known. I know there aren’t many religious people who actually live it all out. Doesn’t bother me of course, everyone should have the right to do as they want. I just chose this way.”

“Did you, though? Or did your family tell you it was the only right way?” He asked suddenly being very close. His hot breath fanning over the side of your face. You gulped.

“They did teach me many things of course. Especially my mother. Like that alcohol is only for special occasions, we only ever drink wine when I’m at church for example. Or that I am to cover myself to a certain level. My body shall only be seen by my future husband. She also taught me sex isn’t for pleasure. It’s an act of love-“ he turned your face towards him with two fingers. Staring at you. “and- and-”

“And?” He raised his eyebrows, smirking.

“And it should be intimately, with my future husband only. To make- a family. A woman shouldn’t-“ his finger carefully touched your lower lip, pulling it down a little. You took a deep breath. Taking his wrist and removing his hand from your face.

“A woman shouldn’t give herself away to just anybody.”

He nodded slowly. Still looking at you intensely. “And I get that. One question though. Did they tell this to the men too? You have a brother, right? You told me so. Does he have to safe himself for marriage? Is he allowed to give himself away whenever he likes or does he have to cover his body and wait for his wife to come along and make love to him intimately to make a family? Answer me and if the answer pleases me I’ll leave you be.”

You sighed. Truthfully you’ve thought about this before. Especially when you were younger and had a little crisis of faith. You’d pushed it down though. This is how it was to be. Him out there and you in church.

“No. He doesn’t. But that doesn’t matter he’s a-“ Daichi interrupted you. “Of course he doesn’t. He’s a man. He gets to fuck whom ever he likes, whenever he likes. No, sweetheart, this doesn’t satisfy me.”

Was he angry? For you? Or for himself?

“You only say this because you want to fuck me. You said it yourself. I’m fuckable.”

“Maybe. But maybe it’s bold of you to assume that and I actually only feel empathy towards you.”

He again placed two fingers on your chin, making you look at him. He leaned in, until his mouth was right next to your ear. He whispered now. “But you’re right. I wanna fuck you. Wanna fuck you real good. Make you feel things you could only dream of feeling. Make you cum as many times as your body can handle. And then tomorrow I wanna take you on a real date. Spoil you rotten and treat you like you deserve. Wanna make you feel like a real woman. Not a little girl in a golden cage. Though I would like to cage you like this.”

He pressed against your body with his until you whimpered and had nowhere to hide. “Would you like that, sweetheart? Hm? You can tell me, no one can hear us. Your mother can’t hear you when you’re with me.”

Your breath sped up, your hands subconsciously grabbing Daichis shoulders, squeezing them. It was all too much. You felt so overwhelmed. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. That never mattered. I never mattered.”

Slowly he moved back, synchronously moving his hand from your chin to your cheek, wiping your tears away. You didn’t even realise that you were crying.

“‘M sorry. It’s just not that easy for me. I know you’re technically right. I just- I’ve been raised this way. I’ve learned I’ll go to hell any other way.”

You started crying even more and he wiped away every single tear, letting you cry in silence until there were no more tears and he kissed your forehead.

“I know, baby. I know.” The petnames made your heart flutter. You’ve never had someone call you anything other than your name. Except for your best friend, but that was different from this.

Speaking of. Daichis head turned from you to your friends, still sitting at the bar, flirting and occasionally making out.

“Tell me, do you think, she’ll go to hell?” His head turned back to you, frowning.

You frowned along with him. “What? No! Of course not. She’s such a kind hearted person with a warm soul who loves and cares for everyone around her. She’s just got different morals than I do. She’d never go to hell. She’s too good for that.”

Daichi smiled. Cute he thought. The way you were talking about her.

“But she’s done all those things. She’s had sex. She drinks. She’s drunk right now! She dresses revealing. Hm? She does all those things. Why don’t you?”

You sighed again, staring to become a headache. Shaking your head you leaned into him, putting your forehead on his chest. You’ve never been so close to a stranger, especially not a man. But there was something about him that made you feel safe. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Daichi put his hand on the back of your head, slowly unpinning your hair and running his fingers through it. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll stop talking about it now. I promise.”

-

For the rest of the night Daichi and you got back to talking about more meaningless stuff, laughed and got to know each other better.

You learned that he used to play volleyball in Highschool and that some of his former teammates are on the national team now and that he knows and meets most of the regularly, but he just continued it as a hobby and is now a policeman.

After the exhausting talk earlier, you decided, one drink would be fine. You needed it.

At first you wanted to go get a glass of wine at which Daichi just laughed. “You won’t get any wine in a place like this, sweetheart. But don’t worry, I know what to get you.”

He came back five minutes later with another beer for himself and a cocktail for you. Sex on the beach. The irony. You shook your head, laughing, but drinking it anyway.

One cocktail quickly turned into two and now you were feeling much better. A little lightheaded, but better.

After a few more hours your best friend and her company, Sugawara, finally decided to grace you with their presence. They were very drunk, but also very happy. Holding hands and giggling at each other. You smiled. It’a been a while since you’ve seen her like this.

“We’ve just realised- you’re our best friends! This guy is Sugawaras best friend and Y/N, you’re my besssst- friend! And you’ve met- and we have too!” Your best friend slurred, hiccuping several times.

Daichi laughed, patting Sugawara on the back. “Nice that you’ve come to realise that as well. Come on.” He took your hand. Your best friend gasped, but you glared at her, so she didn’t say anything. “Let’s get a cap, hm?”

The taxi driver drove to Sugawaras place first, your best friend leaving the car with him without ang explanation. As if they agreed on this long before they came back to you.

Daichi and you looked at each other, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Until the taxi driver looked back at you. “Where to, next?”

The car suddenly got really quiet. “Come with me to my place. We won’t have to do anything except watch a movie and go to sleep. I was serious before. I wanna take you out tomorrow. And I wanna spend the night with you.” Daichi said.

You blushed. “Okay. I’ll come.”

-

Daichi opened the door to his apartment, carefully placing his hand on your back and leading you inside. You felt wobbly. The alcohol had just hit even more. So he made sure to steady you. “You okay?”

“Yea. I’m sorry. Just not used to more than a glass of wine.”

“That’s okay. I feel light headed too. Once we’re sleeping it’ll wear off. I’ll bring you water.”

While he was away, you got rid of your uncomfortable shoes. Staring at him moving in the kitchen. He was so tall and muscular. Fuck. You wanted him so bad.

So when he came back, you didn’t drink his water. Instead you set it aside and stepped closer to him. Until you were so close, you had to look up at him. As if out of instinct his hands landed on your waist.

“Daichi.” You whispered. Putting your hands on his shoulders. He didn’t say anything, instead he pulled you in even closer so that your chest touched his. “Daichi, please.”

“What is it, sweetheart? Tell me.” He squeezed your waist and you bit your lips.

“Please take me. I- I want you. Please.” You didn’t know where this sudden urge came from, just a few hours ago, you didn’t even so much as touch yourself and now you were begging a stranger to fuck you. but he stirred something inside you and it made you feel so good. So special.

“That’s the alcohol talking, Y/N. You will regret this in the morning.” Still he didn’t step back as if he wait for you to convince him. So you did.

“I might. But Daichi, you’ve been so understanding and kind. I- I don’t think I want to do this with anyone but you. You can lead me through this and if I regret it in the morning, I feel you’re the only man who wouldn’t take it personal and calm me down. Please. I want this. I want you. I- I want you to do all the stuff you said earlier. Make me feel like a real woman. Please.”

He grunted. He fucking grunted. “Shit okay, baby. I’ll do it. I’ll make you feel so desirable and so so good.”

And just like that he slammed his lips against yours. Quickly moving them. His tongue brushed against your lower lip, urging you to open your mouth. But you backed away. Never having kissed anyone like this, it was hard for you to keep up. “I don’t-“

“It’s okay, let me take the lead. Do what I do. I am not judging you. You’re doing so good. Were so brave begging me to fuck you, hm? Let me do it then, I’ll be careful. You’re okay?” You nodded. “No, talk to me, baby. I wanna hear you.”

“I- Yes. Yes, I’m okay. Please kiss me again.”

Daichi chuckled. “Such a good girl, fuck.”

And then he kissed you again. And again. And again. Until all you could think about was him and his hands that lifted you up and put you on the table right next to your glass of water.

His tongue forced its way in your mouth and circled yours. Your breath hitched when his hands opened all the buttons of your blouse and squeezed your breast. From there they wandered to the back and opened your bra as well.

“This okay?” He whispered, his breath fanning over your lips. You whimpered again. “Yes, please.” He moved back. First removing your blouse and then, very sensually, your bra. “You keep begging me, but you’re not telling me what you want me to do.”

He talked to you but he didn’t look you in the eyes. Instead he shamelessly stared at your breasts. It made you feel tingly and your thighs subconsciously pressed together. Resisting the urge to cover yourself and look away you said. “I want you to touch me. Please.”

One of his hands cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing your lips. The other one traced your body occasionally pinching one of your nipples while now staring you in the eyes. You tried to bite your lip to not make a sound, but you couldn’t because of his thumb so instead you whined.

“I am touching you, aren’t I? You need to be more specific, sweetheart. Where do you want me to touch you?”

“Everywhere.”

“Everywhere? Like- here?” His hand moved up to your collarbone. “Or here?” He brushed over your shoulder, over your arm, past your elbow and took your hand. “Or maybe” he removed his second hand from your mouth and took your free hand with it, harshly pressing both your hands on the surface of the table with his. “you want me to touch you with my mouth?”

He lowered himself a little bit, never breaking eye contact and then kissed right between your breasts. “You want that, sweetheart?”

You squirmed under his gaze. You would really like to grab his hair and just yank him where you needed him most. “Yes! Yes please, Daichi, you’re being mean!”

“You have no idea how mean I can actually be, princess.” And then he finally took one of your buds in his mouth. Sucking and biting at it ever so gently.

“Ohh God” you let your head fall back and closed your eyes, biting your lip and pushing your chest up in his face. “please, please, please. More. I need more.”

“God’s not here, baby. Just me. I am the one making you feel like this. You feel good?” He licked over your bud one last time and then switches sides. Doing what he did before.

You shuddered. “Yes. Yes I- I feel good. You’re making me feel so- good, Daichi. Please. I need more of y- you.” Your breath quickened, your thighs presses together and your head started to feel dizzy.

“You’re so good, Y/N. Pleading and begging me so nicely. You’re all desperate just from a little nipple play. You’re perfect.”

The way he said your name made you feel so much. Horny. Desired. Happy. Just everything.

And then suddenly it all stopped. He let go of your hands and of your breast and just looked at you. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

His constant praise made you blush. “Thank you.”

“Such a good girl. Come on.” He took your hands again, this time more carefully, leading you of the table. “I’m not taking your virginity here. Let’s move this to my bed, hm?”

On the way to his bedroom, Daichi got rid of his shirt and jeans, leaving you too stunned to say anything. Everything about him was hot. You didn’t know where to look. And so far you only saw his backside.

When you wanted to do the same and get rid of your skirt, he somehow noticed and, without turning around, stopped you. “Don’t. I’ll be doing that myself.” Shit.

Finally in his room Daichi stopped before his bed and turned around. His chest was even better than his back. So pretty and muscular. But you didn’t dare to look further than that.

“Come here.” He said, so you did. Stepping closer to him only in your skirt and panties underneath. Chest open and bare, but he not once stopped looking right in your eyes. Not even when he started to slowly get on his knees.

That’s when it hit you. Suddenly you took a big step backwards. Away from him. Feeling embarrassed. Without saying anything Daichi came back up. He was obviously confused, but not really surprised. Probably only wondering what exactly made you reconsider. So he asked.

“What is it, sweetheart? You have to tell me otherwise I can’t help you.”

“I am not- I didn’t- shave. I never had a reason to do it so far. I sometimes trim in the summer but I- it’s been a while. I’m sorry. I don’t-“ you started rambling in a panic. And even though Daichi found it cute, he didn’t want you to panic. So he interrupted you.

“You think I care? Because I don’t. If you feel ashamed about it and want to stop than that’s okay and valid. But don’t think you have to because of me. I want to eat you out either way. If you let me.”

Your entire face heated up and you looked away. He was so straightforward about this stuff. “Okay.”

“Okay, what? Look at me when you say it, sweetheart. And be more specific.” So you did.

“Okay, we can keep going. I want to continue. Please.”

“Such a good and polite girl. You wanna keep going? You gonna let me eat that pussy, baby? You want that? Hm?”

“Yes. Please.”

Without saying another word he again got on his knees carefully peeling your skirt off. Leaving you in your bright blue panties. He chuckled. They almost looked like boxer shorts. “They’re more comfortable…” you muttered.

“Don’t apologise. I think it’s cute.”

He grabbed your thighs and slowly spread them apart, kissing their insides, sucking and leaving marks. And then finally, you moaned. Not whined. Not whimpered. Moaned.

“Fuck. You sound so good baby. You like it when I kiss you here? Down where no one can see? Mark you up just for you and me to know. Hm?”

One of your hands buried itself in his messy hair, the other found its place on his shoulder, squeezing. You didn’t dare look at him, so you closed your eyes, sighed and nodded. Subconsciously pressing your lower body in his face.

He let this one slide. You were clearly overwhelmed. So he just hooked his fingers in your panties and pulled them down to your feet. You cringed at the feeling of how sticky they were from your wetness.

Daichi cursed. “Fuck.” The carpet most definitely matched the drape and you weren’t lying, you didn’t shave or trim in some time, but he’d seen more bush before. He liked how your little clit still peaked through. God, he wanted to lick it so bad. But first he had to get you to bed.

Without a warning he lifted you up and practically threw you onto his bed. Crawling on top of you. And even though you tried not to stare and be polite, you still got a good look of his body when he did so. How was that supposed to fit inside of you?! And you so far only saw its outline.

Daichi kissed his way down your body. This time paying a lot less attention to your breasts and quickly getting where he wanted to be.

He spread your legs as wide as he can, finally getting a good look at your glistening cunt which was equally spread. “So fucking pretty. Shit.”

Then he flattened out his tongue and took a long swipe from your asshole to your clit. “Oh fuuuck! Daichi!” Your hand again found its way to his hair. Grabbing it, slightly tucking. The other one landed on your own head, covering your eyes.

You would’ve never imagined it to be so good.

And Daichi really had no mercy. Licking. Sucking. Even biting. His tongue switched up between circling your clit and fucking your hole.

Your moans and choked sounds were like music to his ears. They were addictive and he needed more. So he went harder, faster. More reckless. Your body squirmed, back arched and legs shaking. You needed more too. He could tell.

“Gonna fuck you with my fingers, yes, princess?”

“Yes! Ahh. Anything you want. Just do it. Please.”

At first his fingertips just brushed your hole. Teasing you and gathering your juice, spreading it all over your cunt. Everything was so messy.

Then he finally put one inside. Tauntingly slow. It was easy and painless, giving how wet you were at this point.

“Move!” You rolled your hips trying to get some friction. It felt as if you had lost all control over your body.

“Are you leading now? Are you giving me orders? That’s how it is now?” He teased, slowly starting to remove his finger.

“No! No, no, no. Please, I‘m sorry. I‘m sorry!“ you tried to follow his finger with your hips but Daichi stopped you with his free hand. “Behave, princess. Only then I‘ll give you what you want.“

Your hips automatically came to a halt. “‘M sorry.“

“It‘s okay, I know your just desperate.“ he finally got back to work, putting his finger in all the way, slowly moving it in and out and his tongue found your clit once again. You moaned and threw your head back, pressing it into the pillow beneath you. He felt you harshly tuck at his hair, trying to yank his head closer which made him moan as well.

The vibrations of his moaning went through your entire body and you looked down at him, meeting his stare. The intensity of it it and the way it didn‘t falter made you whimper. That‘s when you saw it. He was grinding his hips against the mattress. “Daichi-“

His head lifted and you could see your wetness being spread all around his mouth. Your face heated up and you looked away. Daichi chuckled at that and wiped his face with his free hand. “What is it? What do you need, baby?“

“Need you- need you to fuck me.“ Your breath hitched when his finger stopped. “You‘re not ready yet, sweetheart. Need to prep you more.“

“No. I can take it, I promise. Please, I need you.“ You pulled him up so he was face to face with you and placed both your hands on his cheeks. “Please? I promise, I‘ll tell you if I feel any discomfort.“

He sighed and nodded. He just couldn’t deny you. That‘s when your hands went down to his underwear and started to remove it. “You gotta tell me or I‘ll punish you, you hear me?“

Your hands came to a halt and your breath hitched, but you nodded. “Good girl.“

Without looking down you took him in your hand. It felt weird. Heavy and big, with a slight curve and a big vein on the side. You wondered how it would feel inside you without a barrier but you wouldn’t dare risk that. Daichi neither. He groaned at the feeling of you subconsciously stroking him. “There‘re condoms in the upper drawer. Take one of them.“ So you opened the drawer and mindlessly took the first on out you could get a hold of.

You wanted to give it to him but he stopped you. “That one has taste, princess. We don‘t need that today.“

You gulped. You wanted to. But you were to shy and horny to voice your needs. So you just put it back and took a different one, this time taking a look in the drawer, so you wouldn‘t make the same mistake again and gave it to him. “Very good. You‘re being so good for me.“

All this praise made you feel sp light headed and proud. Growing up you‘d never received much of it since your mother was so strict with you. “Thank you.“

He smiled and stroked your cheek and hair before putting on the condom. You watched him, blushing at the immense size. “This will be a little painful at first because you didn‘t let me prep you properly. I‘ll go slow and careful but I need you to tell me if it‘s too much, do you understand?“

“Yes. I understand.“

“Good girl. Are you comfortable?“ You nodded but quickly muttered a quiet yes when you saw his disapproving face. He took your hands in his and pressed them onto the mattress, kissing you.

You soon melted and relaxed in the kiss which was much slower and more sensual than the one on the table. Not breaking the kiss Daichi lined himself up at your entrance and started to gently force his way inside you. You winced, accidentally biting his lip which only made him moan.

He was right, it was painful. But it wasn‘t unpleasant, just weird. He urged himself further and you started to feel really full, but when you broke the kiss and looked down, you realised that he was only half wat inside you. “Oh.“

“Want me to stop? I will.“ he said through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. It was clear to you how much he had to hold back. “No, it’s okay. Please keep going“

He nodded and moaned when he continued. “You‘re so fucking tight, shit.“ The way you made him feel good, made you feel so good as well and despite the pain you moaned along with him. You wanted him to feel good.

He stopped once he was all inside you. His head fell on your shoulder and he breathed heavily. “You good, baby?“

You brushed through his hair. He was probably like this because you couldn’t stop gushing and clenching around him. “I‘m good just- give me a second please.“ you whined. “Of course. Take all the time you need.“

It took you a good while to adjust but Daichi waited patiently. To distract himself he started kissing you everywhere. On your lips, your ear, your forehead and then your neck where he even star to bite und suck, probably leaving marks you had to cover in the morning.

To distract you, his hand wandered south and circled your clit, trying to relax you. It worked. You whimpered and whined and quickly after you began to unclench and roll your hips against his hand, grinding on his dick and moaning. “You can move now.”

Daichi lifted his head and looked at you in awe. Your eyes were closed, but no squeezed shut, your mouth was just slightly opened and your nose scrunched, he doubted you even realized.

You were so breathtakingly beautiful and you were lying in his bed, naked and needy. And you were giving yourself to him, a complete stranger and he felt so lucky.

His train of thoughts were interrupted by an impatient groan and your hips rolling against him. He gasped. Today was not the day to keep such a beauty waiting for her pleasure, so he gently grabbed your hips and started to pull out and repeatedly thrust into your wet walls.

First really slow and gentle. Until your legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull him closer. His Name left your lips like a chant, begging him to go faster. Harder.

“Daichi- please. Need it. Hngg- more more more.”

So he did. His hips started to rhythmically snap forward, trying to find that special spot and when he did, your loud moan was like music to his ears. He sped up his pace, keeping the hard force behind every thrust.

To keep you in place his hands started to grip you harder and he was sure there would be marks in the morning. But none of this seemed to bother you. Quite the opposite. You seemed to like it a little harder. Noted.

Your back arched from his bed and your hands gripped the mattress so hard, your knuckles lost color. All the while letting out the most desperate little moans.

They weren’t too loud or pornographic and he wanted to drown in you. You were so perfect and real. Not holding back but also not forcing anything to boost his ego. You were just enjoying yourself.

His head lowered again and he one of your sensitive nipple in his mouth again. This time a little harder. Harshly sucking and biting until you fisted his hair with your hands and tears rolled down your cheeks.

Only then did he remove himself and lick one last time so soothe the pain, just to switch sides and repeat his actions. You threw your head from one side to the other from time to time, tucking and pushing his. Your eyes screwed shut once again.

But he never faltered and when he could suddenly feel your legs start to shake and tighten around his hips, he knew you were about to finish. His lips removed themselves from your breast and instead he kissed you. Rough and harsh. Biting your lips and forcing his tongue down your throat.

His sudden aggressiveness startled but didn’t scare you. But you were also so overwhelmed with everything and when his hand wandered from your hip to your clit and rubbed it hard and fast with his fingers, you completely lost it.

Your mouth opened up, which left Daichi heavily breathing in your mouth, formed to a silent scream and all that came out of you were pathetic fast breaths.

Your glossy eyes were blown wide and looked at him with so much emotion, he almost came on the spot. But when they teared up even more and rolled back and you started to buck up into him because of the overstimulation, he bit on your lip and decided to hold back.

Instead he fucked you through it. His hips and fingers keeping a steady pace until you whimpered and tried to push him away.

“No more. No more.” You desperately pleaded.

So he pulled out, removed the condom and took matters into his own hand. Literally.

You curiously watched him jerk his hand and blushed. Was it weird that you wanted to do it for him? Touch him like he touched you and return the favor?

But instead of doin that you just opted with letting your hands wander on his back and to his biceps. Kissing his cheek and gathering your confidence to bite his ear and suck a mark below it. All the while pinching one of his nipples with shaky fingers.

Daichi moaned and went even faster. “Shit, baby. Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

Then he kissed your cheek and spilled his seed all over your stomach. Which oddly enough turned you on even more and made you whine.

You stayed like this for a minute or two and just looked each other in the eyes, breathing heavily. Until Daichi rolled of you two the side and you were both left staring at the ceiling.

He was the first to turn on his side, staring at you worried. With his clean hand he brushed your hair out of your face and made you look at him as well. “You okay, sweetheart?”

You blinked a few times, furrowing your brows. “I don’t know. I enjoyed it really much. I just feel- weird? Is that offensive to you?”

“Not at all. Come here.” He pulled you in, kissing your temple and holding you tight to his chest. None of you cared about his sticky hand or your dirty stomach.

His clean hand comped through your hair and he whispered sweet nothings right into your ear. Praising and complimenting you.

-

Later the two of you got out of bed, or more Daichi dragged your complaining figure and threw it over his shoulder. “You need to pee, Y/N. I mean it. And then we’ll have to shower or take a bath.”

You just groaned. Luckily he couldn’t see the embarrassment on your face from having your ass almost entirely in his face. “I don’t even feel the need to pee!”

“Then you will drink water and force yourself to do it still. Don’t make me punish you, baby. You’re not ready for that.”

His continues hints on being rougher and more dominant with you, made you blush and even horny, so that you had to resist the need to kick your feet and giggle like a schoolgirl.

You didn’t even notice how you clenched your thighs together, which made only made Daichi smirk. He would definitely go harder on you next time. Besides, he promised you to make you cum as many times as your body could handle and he was not one to break a promise.

PLEASE this was so much fun to write!! I hope you had just as much fun reading it! Let me know what you think since this is my first time publishing anything I’ve written and if you would like me to turn this into a series, let me know please!! I am seriously considering doing it.

[emmcfrxst]

the only heaven i’ll be sent to (is when i’m alone with you); arthur morgan x reader

word count: 2K

warnings: smut!, afab!reader, religious themes (kinda. a bitch loves blasphemy<3), oral (f!receiving), body worship (arthur worships the ground you walk on), multiple orgasms (again, f!receiving), expressively asking for consent because that’s sexy! also yes the title is a hozier reference! feedback is appreciated as always <333

!!!!!MINORS DNI!!!!!

The wind blows softly over the half-closed lapels of the tent you and Arthur had set up somewhere around Dewberry Creek, your old, rusted lantern creaking as it sways with the night breeze. The flickering light does not seem to bother your companion, however, as he flattens his tongue over the seam of your cunt, moaning greedily into you. Arthur’s eyes flutter closed in ecstasy as your fingers tangle in his hair, giving the honey brown strands a sharp tug when he delivers a particularly hard suck to your pulsing clit. Your legs close around his head instinctively, trapping him between your thighs, tense muscles flexing against the sides of his face. A soft, breathy apology leaves your swollen lips, the pressure disappearing soon after as your lover pins your body down with calloused hands, brushing off your apology with a chuckle against your skin. You do not have anything to apologize for; Arthur Morgan, a man who has escaped death more than once, would gladly let himself be smothered by your cunt if it came to it. What a way to go that would be, he thinks. The closest to heaven’s gates he will ever get. And although Arthur isn’t a man of religion, he is more than willing to spend every day and every night praying at the altar that is your body, worshipping every inch of you with his eyes, his lips, his hands. Every kiss, every mark you leave on his skin is a holy reminder of the love shared between the two of you; of the passionate nights where Arthur can forget all about his sins and fully allow himself to be bathed in the sacred light of your affections.

“There you go, beautiful. Come back to me.” he coos at you, pushing hair out of your teary eyes, a tender grin on his face. His thumb gently runs under your eyes, wiping away the moisture there as you come back to your senses, focusing on his form above you. The sight of him is like a punch to the gut; blue irises swallowed up by fully dilated pupils, lips swollen and shining with the evidence of your previous orgasms, his beard is soaked through and his breathing ragged. You let your eyes wander down to where his bulge is straining against his union suit, biting your lip. The effect is immediate— his cock twitches under your sultry gaze, a soft groan leaving your lover’s throat.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that.” Arthur warns lowly, calloused hands running over the bare skin of your thigh. You giggle, lifting yourself up to brush your lips against his, your hand running down his chest, feeling his muscles flex under your touch.

“Like what?” You ask innocently, the teasing curve of your smile betraying your oblivious act. Arthur glares at you playfully, hand coming down to squeeze your inner thigh.

“Like ye wanna do real bad things t’me.” He mutters, voice raspier than usual, dripping with arousal. Suppressing a grin, you sit up, letting your hands slide all the way down to cup him through his clothes, thumb gently pressing against the wet spot on his underwear. A sick sort of satisfaction fills you at Arthur’s reaction —pretty blue eyes fluttering closed, his lips part in a strangled moan, hips jutting forward, seeking more pressure. You allow him a few moments to bask in your touch, swirling your thumb around his tip through the fabric and cupping his balls, before taking your hands off of him, leaving him breathing heavily.

“Maybe I do wanna do real bad things to you, Mr Morgan.” you whisper against his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses over his pulse point. A satisfied little giggle leaves you when you hear him cursing under his breath, hips bucking upwards of their own volition. Your victory is short lived, however, as your lover pinches your clit in retaliation, making you cry out. Satisfied, a smug grin on his face, he finally bares himself to you, making your breath hitch. It isn’t the first time you see Arthur in all of his glory —far from it, really, but the sight of how strong, how capable he is always manages to steal the breath right from your lungs. Freckles adorn the robust planes of his shoulders, ascending all the way across the broadness of a back toned from years of hard work; a petite waist and powerful hips curve out into muscled thighs and chiseled calves— Arthur Morgan is truly a sight to behold. He flushes under your heated stare but says nothing —how wise of him, you think, for he knows by now that you would never allow him to look down on himself, not even under the pretense of a joke. You deserve better than the way you treat yourself, you’d told him a million times. And you’ll spend the rest of your life proving it— that he’s worth it, be it through words, comfort, actions or through the passionate entangling of your bodies and souls. Because sex is more than just that to the two of you; it is a way of communicating the love and the needs you have for one another— Arthur, so painstakingly touch starved before you came along, now revels in the physical familiarity you two share. From fleeting touches to lingering kisses, he simply cannot seem to get enough of you; he does not believe the longing in his heart could ever be quelled completely.

Trembling gasps leave the two of you as Arthur slides his cock between your folds, coating himself in your slick. Jolts of pleasure thrum through your body every time his tip bumps against your swollen clit, your soft cries of pleasure causing Arthur’s cock to twitch.

“Sweetheart, if you keep makin’ all them pretty noises it’s gonna be over b’fore it even starts.” His accent is thick and his voice is shaky, excited little tremors running through his body at your state of undoing —all because of him. He’s made a real mess out of the two of you; drenched, sweaty and needy — thick strips of your wetness clinging to Arthur’s lower abdomen, precum pearling over the tip of his cock and gliding down his length; yes, your lover is more than willing to drown himself in your shared desire, to indulge in the carnality of your bound. Wrapping a hand around himself, he groans behind clenched teeth, sensitive to the touch, fingers quickly getting wet from how thoroughly turned on he is. He, however, remains unashamed, having accepted long ago that he will never be in control when it comes to you —he has never felt so connected with another human being, be it physically, psychologically, mentally or emotionally and he no longer bothers trying to hide the way you make him feel.

Understood. Respected. Appreciated. Loved. Alive. He’d never felt so many emotions prior to meeting you. Had never felt so alive; had never wanted to keep going as much as he has since you walked into his life. You make it worth it.

Letting his lips brush along your brow line, Arthur curls the fingers of his free hand around one of your thighs, spreading you open for him.

“Ye still good? D’ye want me to stop?” He asks, blue eyes roaming over your bare form with tenderness, trying to assess the situation. Even with you soft, pliant and soaked underneath him, Arthur Morgan would never dare to make assumptions about your desires, would never be so single-minded as to claim you without expressed consent from your part. He needs to know you want this as much as he does, wants this to be good for you— he thrives on your pleasure and your pleasure alone; can only feel good if you are. It is one of the many reasons why you love him so deeply, but in your lusting daze, you find yourself too strung up to fully appreciate it.

“Arthur Morgan, if you stop now m’gonna kick your sorry ass—oh!” Your voice breaks off into a pitiful little whimper when his cock teases your entrance, a low, rumbling laugh leaving him.

“As you wish, m’lady.” He allows himself to be playful for a few moments longer, basking in the frustrated little furrow of your brows and your pouting lips before pushing inside in one smooth glide, aided by your shared arousal. Arthur curses under his breath as your cunt flutters around him, trying to adjust to his girth. The blunt ends of your nails leave crescent marks onto the broadness of his shoulders and Arthur clenches his jaw, doing his best to stay still and allow you a moment of reprieve from the sensations that overtake your body. Busying himself with leaving marks onto your skin, he soothes the spots where his teeth have dug into, lips moving from your neck to your chest to take a nipple into his mouth. The loud, broken mewl you let out at the action makes him shiver, goosebumps spreading all over his skin at the sound, but he continues to stay still, waiting for you to give him the permission to go on. It’s only when your legs wrap around his waist that he does finally let himself move, pulling himself almost all the way out before sliding back in with a quick snap of his hips. Another cry leaves your lips at the action, although this time sounding strangled, your cunt clenching around your lover’s cock at the delicious friction he provides you with. Your foot presses into the meat of his ass, encouraging him to go faster, deeper— a silent demand he is quick to indulge in. A series of loud, wet noises begin resounding around the two of you, only motivating Arthur on to thrust harder; your back arching up into him when he starts battering that one spot inside of you, rough fingers coming down to rub circles onto your clit. The moans pour freely from your mouth and into his as he kisses you, tongues tangling together in a messy, sloppy fight for dominance. You’re vaguely aware of the spit trickling down your chin but are far too gone to care; the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every powerful snap of Arthur’s hips into yours. Already sensitive from your previous orgasms, you rake your nails down his back, trying to warn your lover of your impending climax. Alas, gargling moans are the only thing you can manage before you finally snap; vision going white, body going rigid under his, you repeat his name like a prayer as waves after waves of pleasure wash over you. Arthur isn’t far behind you, spurred on by your own release, a long, incredibly deep moan rumbling through his chest before he pulls out of you, sticky cum splattering across your stomach. Coming down from your high, you tuck a few strands of hair behind Arthur’s ears, fingers lingering on his face lovingly. He leans into your touch immediately, turning his head to press a gentle kiss into your palm, his body trembling with the aftermath of his own orgasm.

“Was…” He clears his throat, rolling off of you and pulling you along to rest on his chest. “Was that good f’r ya?” The gravelly tone of his voice cannot conceal the genuineness of his question, his fingers running down the length of your spine. It makes you smile— he makes you smile, your sweet cowboy. Shifting to look at him, you kiss him right over his heart, fondness warming your features.

“It was. It always is, with you. I love you.” And despite it not being the first time you utter those words— far from it, really— emotion still takes over Arthur’s heart and features, eyes shining with a sheen of tears.

Love. You love him.

No, Arthur Morgan may not be a religious man, and he remains unconvinced of God’s existence, but he does know one thing; you are his little piece of heaven on Earth.

[emmafrostdefender]

a fine line between god and animal | logan howlett x fem reader

prologue - that which cannot be held in your hand | masterlist

your mother was a god-fearing woman. but she feared you much more. some part of you was wrong, at least in the eyes of god, but you answered to something much bigger. and so did he.

hi friends, this was written when i was struck with inspiration by the one and only ethel cain. of course, the inspiration was paired with my recent renewed interest in wolverine and x-men. some of the characters are more like how they are in the comics because the movie writers did them dirty! like jean slays in the comics okay! anyways, i wanted to write about wolverine and it be sexy in an ethel cain way. do we get the vibe? i hope so. also, i, in fact, do not have religious trauma but if you do this might be the story for you. enjoy.

warnings: cursing, religion, religious trauma (will pick up), lowkey a lot of blasphemy, people be bad sometimes, reader's mother was not chill, a ton of exposition (sorry!), i’m writing this mainly for practice (especially regarding dialogue, so that’s why some of it might be kinda choppy), definitely won't be canon compliant, 4k words

━━━━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━━━━

By the grace of some unholy god were you created.

The priest with silver hair expelled the demons from you; those crawling, crushing, wriggling, squirming demons that lived within you. Those demons that whispered in your ears, caressing your skull with a language lost to time. They pushed to be revealed. Today, your mother shoved you to your knees before the altar of your true Mother, the Mother of all. “Holy Mother, bless this rotten soul,” she whispered by your side, eyes clenched shut. You watched her. There were no tears, not for your lost soul. Your rotten soul. As if your morality was like an apple. Something that could shrivel up and die if left too long in the scorching sun.

Your skin crawled under the light that beat down on you through the skylights of the church. The air was thick with incense and smoke from the ever-burning candles. The stench filled your nose. Your mother grasped your hand in hers, forcing you to focus on her words. She spoke so quietly, so quickly, you’d think she was chanting some spell. Something to save you from your fate.

“Heavenly Father, take the Devil’s spirit from her body; take this ugly, horrid wickedness from her.”

You closed your eyes, not in prayer, but to lend your ears elsewhere. To the birds chirping outside. The wind whistling through the trees. 

You were connected to nature. In some primal, peaceful way.

Before your father died, he would take you into the woods and you would wander together. Sometimes you would pack supplies for overnight trips, sometimes you would bring nothing but your spirit with you. Now, you thought he knew that something was different about you before you did. When you were a stumbling child, he knew. There were days he would force you to lead the both of you back to safety after getting you lost in the middle of the woods. Force you to reveal yourself to him. The part of you that God shunned.

And you did.

Your spirit became one with the natural world around you. You could hear and smell and see. For what felt like the first time. It was a beautiful thing that came over you.

The trees spoke to you, in their ancient language lost to humanity. And you spoke back. Using sounds that had never before emerged from your lips. 

And they led you home.

Never once did your father ostracize you for your gift. That’s what he called it. A gift.

When you turned sixteen, your gift shifted. You fought back as it reared its ugly head at you. It pushed and pulled at your insides, begging to be released fully. The day your father died, lying still in a sterile hospital bed, it burst out of you. The monotonous tone that rang out death filled your ears as you lay beside him on the thin sheets. He wasn’t supposed to die like this. Not here. The thought blared in your brain. He should’ve been somewhere he could see the sky, the trees, the clouds, not the plastered ceiling of a hospital room.

In your memory, nothing changed. But your mother, eyes blurry with tears, watched as something inside you morphed. You became still, grasping your father’s hand, and whispered something that sounded to her like sin. The tongue of some animal, some demon. She watched as her daughter became something unholy. Your eyes went pitch black, your skin glowing with a soft light. And suddenly, vines were creeping into the room from all around.

Through the window, the door, from the cracks in the ceiling. Crawling to the thrumming in your veins. The winds answered your call, blasting open the window, broken glass scattering across the linoleum floor. Your mother screamed at the sound. 

As vines wrapped around your ankles, around your father’s bed, your mother watched as you continued your senseless muttering. She couldn’t move to stop you. She began to chant a prayer of protection. For herself, for her husband’s lifeless body, for your soul. 

Anger filled your spirit, the anger of a thousand year old mother. Tar filled your veins, smoke filled your lungs, oil in your eyes. The drilling, the pounding, the burning, the slaughtering. It all pushed into your brain as the vines choked your soul. And you screamed.

Your mother grabbed the metal tray from your father’s final meal and slammed it against your head.

And she continued to pray. Gripping your hand until it hurt. And you let her. Let her expel the demon from you. 

Your bare skin bathes in the moonlight shining through the early autumn foliage as you sit on your knees before a different altar. 

You cringe at the memory of your bruised knees and that crushing hold on your hand. Begging God to turn you into a flower, while your mother begged for your mortal soul.

You shake your head to clear the memory. That was ten years ago now. Seventeen and terrified of who you were, what you were. She was wrong about you and you were wrong about you. 

The day the priest came to perform another exorcism of sorts, something that had no effect on you whatsoever, a new man had entered your bedroom. A man in a wheelchair. Professor Charles Xavier. He saved you. 

Made your mother forget who you were.

And you came to live on a beautiful estate in upstate New York with people like you. Mutants. A word used in such a way you had never heard before in extremely rural Oklahoma. “What do you mean, mutant?” You asked, not sure if you should feel insulted.

Professor X looked at you from across the plasticky diner table, studying your features. You studied his right back. Soft eyes and a kind smile. Such a stark contrast from your mother’s severe gaze and thin-lipped grimace. “Mutants are like regular people, only with a mutated gene that gives them special abilities. I’ve been studying mutants and their mutations for decades. Each mutant I meet is unique and you are no exception.”

Your eyebrow raised ever-so-slightly as you sipped on a strawberry milkshake. “How many are there?”

And so began your relationship with Charles Xavier. He became your mentor, someone to go to for guidance. He assisted you in harnessing your abilities, treating them like a muscle to train rather than a burden to bear. And yet, every night you prayed to God that you could be rid of it. That you could go back home and live a normal life. 

In your years at the mansion, friendships blossomed all around you. You never made friends easily back home, but here they came quickly and firmly.

And you felt complete. You are complete. You remind yourself.

Something deep inside of you grumbles in response.

You ignore it and stretch your arms to the sky, cupping the moon in your hands. The moon is slightly out of your jurisdiction, but she controls the tide, which controls the winds. It all works in harmony, you’ve learned. When another girl with similar mutant abilities arrived at the mansion a few years after yourself, you became close partners. Storm, Ororo by birth, was your closest companion. She had striking white hair and a piercing gaze and a personality to match. In combat, she is your most trusted partner. 

You spin your arms in a practiced circle, beginning to feel the thrumming of power in your veins. Every full moon, Charles would send you out into the woods of the estate to become one with your abilities. He says the most dangerous mutant is a mutant that severs all connection to their powers. One that has no real idea what they are capable of. “They could destroy a whole city and not understand why,” he replied when you first asked him the meaning of these exercises. “You must be in tune with yourself if you ever want to feel some semblance of control.”

Control. The word forced a shiver down your spine. Mother Nature revolts at it.

And yet, you managed to tame the primal part of yourself. The part that screamed to be let loose. 

The world pulses around you as your eyes flutter shut. This is your favorite part of the night. When you merge with the natural world. When you feel and hear and see everything around you. The flapping of an owl’s wings. The beat of a young doe’s heart. The smell of the moss and the dirt and the stream miles away. You feel another heartbeat. This one is firmer. More distinct. It reminds you of the steady thumping of your father’s heart when you would lay on his chest as a small child. You can’t pinpoint its location. It seems to come from everywhere at once. A sense of serenity washes over you. 

And you simply listen.

You spread your fingers on the plush grass below you, feeling that heartbeat skitter along your skin and wash itself in the blood that pulses through your veins. You hear the sound of drifting snow, feel its cold sting before it melts against warm skin. Your eyes scrunch up as you focus. The thought of even wondering what you’re tuning into never crosses your mind. You just want to keep feeling and hearing. Your gluttony for the senses takes over and you taste the sheen of melted snow on this stranger’s skin as if you licked it yourself. Salt and something man. You hum. And then you smell something so distinctly like smoke that you are thrown from your reverie. Your body repulses against itself and you cough. Being connected to Earth has its disadvantages. 

Desire to return to that state of complete contentment fills your mind, but you stand. Your nude form basks in the moonlight for not a minute longer. You shrug a pretty little silk robe on and make your way back to the mansion. Although it is early October and New York has not yet succumbed to the winter weather, you still feel the keen chill of snow. 

As you slowly walk back to the mansion, the new thrum of energy courses through you. It spreads down your legs to the pads of your feet, which leave trails of newborn flowers. As quickly as they are born, they die. The circle of life and death. Darkness and light.

The exact breadth of your powers is still unknown to you and your fellow mutants. Before being taken in by Professor X, you thought they were limited to simply being one with nature. The memory of your father’s death and the events that quickly followed were hazy, but being far away from your mother and her religious zeal allowed you to connect to that piece of your past. To your chagrin, Charles refused to go into your mind to help you remember. It took you two months to fully remember the events. Memories came in dreams, waves of disconnected images all straining in your mind. The first night Charles sent you into the woods to “figure it out,” the pieces fell into place.

And you finally knew yourself again.

Now, you’ve chalked your abilities up to being a reincarnation of Mother Nature, a realization that pulls at the small cross that rests in the hollow of your neck. Despite the trauma incurred by your mother in the name of the righteous God, that part of yourself hasn’t been severed. You remember your father knelt in the church, clasping the chain around your neck, thereby forever bonding you to your faith. You’ve never feared any man you’ve gone against in combat, but you fear the one waiting to judge you.

If He’d even bestow that luxury upon you.

You look up at the sky as you step through the woods, drawing lines between the stars like the ancients. Stringing stories and myths and legends. You wonder if the monsters of olde were simply mutants, like you. Misunderstood and begging to be believed.

The soft glow of the mansion enters your vision. The weight of sleep hits you in the shoulders and you slouch to the back entrance. All the young mutants are asleep at this time, but you hear the skittering of a few rebels in the halls. The mansion never fails to awe you, with its tall wooden walls and bright windows. A far cry from your small rancher of a childhood home. You pass the main entrance and make your way up the stairs that lead to your bedroom on the third floor. This floor is for the older mutants, the X-Men.

Originally, you declined Charles’ offer to be a part of the mutant bad-guy-fighting team. A lack of confidence in yourself, you realized later on. The belief that something was still too wrong with you to even have the ability to help anyone. That belief changed rather quickly. 

When you realized there wasn’t much of a place for mutants in this world, you accepted his offer. You took on the name Proserpina, the Roman goddess of spring, at the behest of your teammates. Despite your initial disdain towards the alias, you soon grew fond of the name.

Your ears perk up at the sound of whispering voices down the hall.

Coming from Jean’s room.

Jean Grey is another member of the X-Men and another close friend of yours. You were one of the first people she met when she arrived at the mansion a few years ago. You were the first to confront her about her obvious feelings for Scott Summers, who is something of a brother to you, before she even recognized them herself. You are the first person she goes to whenever she feels out of control, which seems to be more frequently as of late. “He wants you and Storm to track them down,” she says in a soft voice.

“Just the two of us?” Scott asks.

You assume she nods.

You raise your eyebrow. Track who down?

Deciding to enter the conversation, you continue to her room and open the cracked door fully. “What, so Charles doesn’t want me tracking anymore?” You question with a hand on your hip.

They both stand in the center of the room and turn their heads to look at you. Jean rubs at the space between her eyebrows. “Not necessarily. He just isn’t sure you should go on this one.”

“Why? Is it because we’d be fighting Captain Capitalism or something?”

Scott quirks a smile. “He’s found another prospect for the X-Men.”

“And how does that impact my ability to find them?”

Jean approaches you slowly. “Don’t be offended, honey, but sometimes you come off a bit…”

“Bitchy,” Scott finishes with his arms folded across his chest. 

Your mouth drops open and you move to slap him or punch him or kick him, but Jean puts her hand on your sternum. “I meant to say, you can come off a bit guarded. And that isn’t always helpful with new recruits.”

“But no one is better at tracking than me,” you say with a pout. “Besides the obvious.”

“Sorry, babe, Charles isn't letting you come on this one,” Scott says with a grin. “Too bad.”

You flick him in the forehead and he flinches. “Asshole.”

“You can stay here and help me with my exercises. Charles is trying to get me to move a car,” Jean suggests. “I know,” she says in response to your eyebrow raise. 

“You can barely move a book without it flying at your face. Or, in most cases, my face.”

She shrugs. “Out of the frying pan and into the fryer, I guess.”

“Fine. I’ll be nice.” You turn to leave and toss a dismissive hand up behind you at Scott. “Good luck tracking without me, bitch.”

He hums. “Goodnight.”

As you shut the door he throws out, “Can’t wait to bring them back in record time tomorrow!”

Them. So it’s multiple. Interesting.

That night, your dreams are filled with images of your old church. The windows stain everything around you a blood red. 

You are on your knees before the altar of Mary. But today, her hands are folded away from you. She scorns you with a downwards glance of repulsion. You know this isn’t real. It’s not real.

Yet, your body burns in her gaze. Your skin is on fire and no one is there to quell it. You are chained to the floor by your hands, you feel your chest being cracked open to onlookers. Your heart is yanked from your ribs, your impure blood oozing from gray hands. Roaming hands belonging to a wisp of smoke pull at your bones, branding them in silver. Bugs crawl out of the cavity in your chest, maggots and cockroaches. You scream and the onlookers laugh. Your body vibrates with fear and disgust. And you scream. 

You wake with hands pinned to the bed by your own force, your necklace set between your teeth. 

Your nightgown is soaked in sweat, sticking to your skin. Your heartbeat pumps hard and fast in your ears, an almost unbearable sensation. Not the way you hoped the night would go.

Despite appearances, you are used to the nightmares that plague you whenever there is a full moon. With the resurgence of your power, comes a resurgence of memories. 

You spit the cross out of your mouth and slam your head against your pillow. 

Dawn has skipped across the sky, bringing streaks of hazy light into the darkness. You stare at the ceiling, allowing your heart to return to its usual rate.

It seems like the dreams are only getting worse with time. You thought they would subdue after a few years, but they’ve been building steadily. And you would never tell Charles that, lest he pry into your brain and see for himself. You couldn’t let him, or anyone, see that part of you. The part you worked so hard to tamp down. It would only make things harder.

Therapy for one?

You laugh in self-pity and sit up, your muscles tense. You stretch out your arms, moving them in circular motions as you control your breathing. The last thing the team needs is something else to worry about. Magneto, your main opposition, has been pushing harder and harder toward his goal of world-domination and mutant-superiority. Charles doesn’t need another burden. You crack your neck and stand. 

Your room has floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the gardens and the woods. A special request you made the first time you moved in. You can just barely see the sun beginning to peak over the horizon, glimmering off the dewy leaves. 

Someone knocks on your door. “Yes?” you ask, turning to face the entrant.

The only other person ever up this early is Storm. She stands before you in her leather suit, stark white hair hanging by her shoulders. “Put some clothes on, Charles wants to speak with you.”

“You don’t think he’d appreciate this?” You gesture to your sweat-stained dress.

“Bad dream?”

You shrug. “I was actually having very passionate sex with Christian Bale.”

“Slut!” She smiles, but her eyes see right through your lie.

You wink. “Always.”

Ororo is the only person you’ve let see the terrified side of you. The side that you keep locked away. And it makes your skin crawl when she sees straight through you. As if she’s the one that can read minds.

When you’ve changed into a sweater and jeans, you follow Ororo downstairs to the professor’s study. The sun has fully risen by now, along with many of the students. You dodge sleepy children and annoyed teenagers as you make your way to the study. 

“I’ll wait out here for you,” Ororo says softly as you open the study door. 

“I feel like I’m about to be scolded for something.”

She laughs.

You shut the door behind you and see Charles sitting at his desk. “Good morning, Professor.”

“Take a seat.”

You grin as you make your way to the plush seats in front of his desk. “Am I in trouble?”

He smiles back. “No, you’re not in trouble. But I did need to speak with you.”

You nod, allowing him to continue.

“I understand that you already know about the retrieval mission Scott and Ororo are to be sent on today?”

“Yes, I overheard Jean mention it to Scott last night.”

He hums. “How was your night besides?”

He’s referring to your monthly ritual. You smile. “It went well.”

“Anything interesting occur?” he asks with a quirk of his brow.

You narrow your eyes slightly. Is he asking about the dreams? You pivot. “Not really. I seemed to connect to someone far away, though. That hasn’t really happened before.”

He nods, a glint in his eye. He knows you’re omitting something. But he lets you get away with it by switching the topic. “I suppose you might be wondering why I’m not sending you on this particular retrieval?”

You shrug, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “I mean, it crossed my mind. But it’s your decision.”

“I’m not sending you not because you aren’t useful, you must understand. Or because of you’re 'attitude,' which I must admit, I disagree with. You are truly the best tracker we have. And you are fairly good at calming new people down. However, I have recently been made aware of a plot by Lehnsherr to somehow use you to further his plans,” he says with a straight look on his face.

Before you register the second part of his statement, you feel smug pride at the fact that you were right and Scott was wrong. “Wait, he wants me?”

Charles nods. “Yes, it seems he believes your mutation would be useful to him. But I am not aware of how exactly.”

“How were you able to read his mind?”

“We were both at a speech given by Senator Robert Kelly a few days ago. I found his mind in my scan of the room. His is much different from everyone else.”

The unspoken part: We are connected.

The professor never seems to fully admit the strong connection he has to Erik Lehnsherr, but you sensed it the same way you sensed Jean and Scott. It might be different, it might be the same, but the history they share has never fully dissolved.

You wonder if a part of your mutation is sensing innate connections between people. That invisible force that pulls some together, while pulling others apart. That which cannot be held in your hand. You suppose it is something only nature could define.

He continues. “He believes that your connection to nature could be used in conjunction with his control over metal. How? I’m not sure. I’m not sure even he knows.”

You consider this, bringing your hands together. “So you’re nervous I wouldn’t be able to hold my own against his goons?”

“Not necessarily. But if you were abducted, we might not be able to reach you. It’s safer if you stay here with all the protections this mansion affords.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. “Are you sure that’s the only reason?”

“It’s the only reason I need.” He looks at you with such care that your annoyance pauses. “If not sending you on a monotonous tracking mission means keeping you from uneccessary harm, then I will do it. Even if it upsets you.”

You break his gaze and sigh. “Fine. I’ll stay.”

He leans back in his chair and smiles.

“I just hate seeing Scott’s ‘I-did-better-than-you’ face. He’s so smug,” you whine.

“You two have that in common, I see.”

The grin that spreads across your lips is impossible to fight.

Scott and Ororo board the jet after an hour of briefing from the professor about where the mutants are most likely located. Somewhere in Canada. Far, far north.

Before they head off, Scott ruffles your hair. “Hey, don’t look so disappointed. You can stay here and grow some flowers or something.”

You shove his hand away from you. “Shut up.”

“Save that fire for when we get back. You never know what these mutants are going to be like. They could be gearing up for a fight.”

“I think I’ll just let you handle that, since you’re so confident you’ll even be able to find them properly without me.”

“It’s not just confidence. It’s a guarantee,” he says with a grin.

“Whatever. Be safe.”

“Always am. Keep Jean company.” 

“Mhm. ‘Bye now!” You say with a wave of your hand.

Jean exits the jet where she was speaking to Ororo and comes to stand next to you. Ororo gives you a thumbs up and she and Scott exit your line of sight. Although you would never admit it, you like going on these missions to keep your teammates safe. And not being able to protect them itches at your skin. Before you go crazy pacing in the hangar of the jet after it takes off, just waiting for them to get back, Jean reminds you of her own practice.

“Time to move that car!” You say with gusto, hooking your arm with hers. 

You fight the urge to glance behind you. Your other hand comes up to worry the cross at your neck. They’ll be fine. 

ugh i know i know she didn't meet him this chapter aw man....

[thoughtsofatransboy]

"Forgiven"

Priest!Gerard x Ftm!Reader

Warning: NSFW, Dark content? Grammar mistakes I'm not a native English speaker, Probably doesn't make sense cuz i don't have a clue of what people do in a Catholic church, Religious guilty, Sin confession, Religious mention (what you expected? It's a priest), kinda of blasphemy? (Idk, you're fucking a priest inside the church, is it blasphemy?) Ftm reader, low-key dysphoria mentions. (Ignore Frank lol)

Synopsis: You're a low-key religious ftm guy, Father Way is the only one who understands you and don't judge you by your gender, but how can you confess to him when he is the one in your sinning thoughts?

"Here i am..." You said, finally arriving the little church. Despite you being trans, you still kind of religious, anytime you think you sin, you feel a necessity to confess, but this time you went too far.

The sin of Lust. But you made it WORST. You were fucking desiring a priest, the local priest, the only one who supported you on being yourself. You were feeling horrible, but what could you do? Father Way was the hottest guy you ever seen, the way he moves, the way he talks and the way we calmly listen to you everytime you need to confess.

You see Father Way, when he looks back to you, he goes to you. "Hello Son, need to confess again?"

You nod timidly, nothing else to say. Trying to figure out how to manage through this situation, how could you confess to him when he's the reason you sinned? Well, it's not like you have time to think now, he's already leading you to the confessional.

As you sat down, he noticed you were very nervous, in an attempt to calm you down, he said "Calm down my dear... Tell me your sins, you will be forgiven... There's nothing in the world that you do that can't be forgiven. The tone he said it could make your body melt right there, it's not your fault that he's so sexy even while trying to be modest, isn't it? Oh... How could God forgive you when you are sinning inside his own house? Inside the church?

"Dear? Are you feeling nice?" Father Way's voice breaks your mental focus, now you know you need to start it or at least say something. "Sorry Father, I'm going to start..." You left out a pity and anxious sigh. "I've been lustful... Filthy thoughts... And about someone i shouldn't..."

"A married man?" It was the worst he was expecting, honestly. "No... E-even worse" Father Way raised an eyebrow... suspecting of who could be the one making you have naughty thoughts.

"Then? Who is it?" You swallow it hard, getting more and more anxious. "A...a p-priest. I-i visited another church last week and-and i met a young priest and he's...cute" Fuck! You're a horrible liar. "hmmm... I see, i see... I'm not going to lie, it is a pretty bad sin... But you can receive forgiveness, just don't do it again and pray asking God for forgiveness, He will listen to your plead, I'm sure"

"But father... i-i..." You shut your eyes down, trying to breath but you couldn't, the guilty was too much, some tears started to roll down by your face. "Father... the... priest... is..is..." You decide to tell it, if you didn't the guilty would eat you alive. "You! You're the one in my thoughts! My worst ones"

Way was impressed, the confessional was suddenly silent but after some seconds, that felt like years, he smirked a little "Oh sweet boy... What a bad, naughty boy... you've been getting all aroused because of me?" You blink three times in shock, you really hope you aren't dreaming...

"F-father... what are you saying-?" You're more nervous than before, happy that Way's teasing you but shy at the same time. "Oh... You know very well what I'm saying" He stepped off of the confessional cabin, getting closer and closer to you, the gap between you and he is very little. He started to kiss you jaw getting closer to your ear "Want this? Couldn't lie... I've been a little interested in you too... But you're probably happy with it, aren't you? Don't lie" You could only nod. "Great" without you noticing he was already with his hands all over your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"I'll fuck your sins out of you, 'kay? So you get satisfied and won't do it ever again... You so shy today... Where's my brave boy?" You couldn't hold it anymore, you pull him into a kiss, a deep and lustful kiss. You guys separate it after some time, in the need to breath. "There he is! There he fucking is..." He started to kiss and suck in your neck, whispering praises to you "Such a sweet boy, so pretty, so handsome... You're very handsome, aren't you?"

You could only whine and moan while he attached your neck, but you wouldn't let it go this easily. You pushed him, making him enter the confessional cabin, once he entered it, you didn't thought twice before sitting on his lap, now your time to suck and kiss his neck, licking and holding tight on his shoulders. "Oh my God boy... You gonna kill me this way.... Argh!" Way tried to hold his moans, too proud to let them out. You grind against his lap, making friction against his bulge, the bulge you only noticed now that he sat down. You kissed him deep once again, harmoniously wrapping his tongue with yours, it was a messy and sloppy kiss, but one full of desire.

"Aaaa...Mmm.. okay boy! 'kay! Got it dude... you're in control, Kay? Kay?" You smirk, happy that he finally admitted it. "We need to be quickly, soon we'll have a mass..." You got in your knees, already pulling out his cassock. Once you removed it, you already started to kiss and tease his bulge, once you remove his cock from the boxers, you look at him, with a naughty smile, his cheeks all flushed and his breath hot.

You kiss and lick the tip of his cock, taking the opportunity to massage his balls, his cock throbbing crazily and his moans echoing around. "Yeah! T-that's my dude... A good cock sucker... Mmm... My little cock sucker, thank you... Argh! Thank you.... C-can i suck your dick too?" You stopped your sucking, glaring at him, nodding as quick as you processed the information.

Way put you on his place, crawling between your legs, unbuttoning your jeans and pushing your boxers down. The groan he left out was nothing but pure carnally desire. "What a pretty dick... What a pretty hot hole... I love it" He started licking delicately over your t-dick, kissing and sucking making you melt in pleasure. "Can i finger you? D-do you like it?" You nodded, Way inserted two fingers into your hole, not focused in being quick but in touching your sweet spots. He felt you clench hard around his fingers, he giggled silently, going back into sucking your t-dick. "Good... You're going to cum for me, huh? Gonna cum for me handsome?..." You finally reached your climax, moaning high and shameless, for a second being grateful that the church was empty today.

Your legs were a little shaking, so he put you on his lap a little, stroking your hair. "Forget that shit about being quick...my handsome...so good for me... You were incredible..." He kissed your cheek and kept stroking your hair. After some minutes you both decided to take the next step, he stroked himself a little, rubbing against your entrance. "Shh... Shh... I'll take care of you handsome, i promise" He pushed it into you slowly and delicately, like he was touching a piece of glass. His firsts thrusts were deep and slow, letting you adjust to him and afraid of hurting you. "You too tight... Oh God..." He started bucking his hips into yours, his thrusts getting faster and faster, you bucking your hips down on his too, increasing the deepness and the friction, you both left out a cracked moan. "F-Father... Oh my gosh... You're so good... So hot..."

You guys muffled each other's moans with kisses. "I love you Way! I love you..." you bucked your hips particularly harder this time. "Thanks handsome... i love you! I-i love you too....!" You're reaching your climax along with him. "Aaaa! D-dude... Gonna c-cum on my cock sweet boy? I think you really sh-should!" You clenched hard around his cock, finally cumming. He didn't lasted that long after you finished, he bucked his hips one last time before cumming inside you. He kissed your lips with a soft sigh. "You're incredible... I'm happy to have you... So pretty and hot.." you giggled a little, resting your head on his shoulder. "Forgiven" you both crack in a laugh, he stroked your hair a little more. "I'll help you to get dressed, the mass will start very, very soon... When it finishes, I'll bring you home and we'll cuddle together, okay?" You only nodded, pecking his lips while he helped you to put your boxers on again. You left the confessional cabin, taking a seat waiting for the mass to start. Smiling silly everytime you locked your eyes into his, now you're deep in sin, but really happy.

[l-in-the-light]

New masterpost!

Welcome to my completely normal, not-Law obssessed tumblr! Oh who am I kidding, you're probably peeking here also for more Law, in that case, enjoy!

I usually write One Piece meta, because this is what I enjoy doing the most. So far I have these blasphemies yappings to offer (I keep this list mostly for myself, but it lists all of my analysis posts, answered asks and useful tags to navigate easier towards interesting topics):

Trafalgar Law and his fear of touch and closeness (analysis):

A very scrutinizing look at Law's traumas as a result of his childhood. Seems he has some triggers that kick him into PTSD reactions, especially relating touch:

Law's fear of being touched and touching others - I reccommend starting from this one, this is part 1

Law's closeness with Luffy

Law's closeness with Doflamingo's Family

Law's rare friendships (Kinemon, Heart Pirates, Wolf) - I recommend reading part 2 before reading this one, or right after. They're kinda complementing each other.

Law's reasons of avoiding closeness and friendships (a theory) - only read it after all the previous ones. It involves quite a bit of speculation that might spoiler you future manga developments. I might be wrong with my predictions, but feel warned!

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read:

The fish (scrutinizing analysis and interpretation of every Law and Luffy's interaction in the manga, I will prove my point that they're absolutely embarrassing in how much they like each other, you're free to interpret it as romantic or not):

Punk Hazard part 1 / Punk Hazard part 2 / Punk Hazard part 3 / Post-Punk Hazard part 4 / Dressrosa part 5 / Dressrosa part 6 / Dressrosa part 7 / Dressrosa part 8 / Dressrosa part 9 / Zou part 10 / Zou part 11 / Whole Cake Island part 12 / Wano part 13 / Bonus part - Law staring at Luffy

The fishing rod: (the tool theory allowing you to go and fish the treasure by yourself. And do go and fish, because I want to read even more embarrassing posts about Lawlu and other ships!)

About pirates and their treasure (a theory) - everything related to the theory is located in this tag: Love is a hurricane.

(more under cut!)

More character studies about Tragalgar Law:

About Law's rumoured bad manners and rudeness

Luffy and Law's similarities in expressions, behaviour and beliefs

Law didn't know about kids in Punk Hazard

Law's weakness for cute things explained (includes many examples and reasons for this softspot of his)

Law's poor self-esteem (with evidence!) and a bonus: Does Law think of himself as handsome or sexy?

Analysis of Law's quote "pirates doing good things repulse me" (fair warning, it's a long one, I delved deep into his psychology here, because I think it's fun)

Trafalgar Law and his surprising fondness of animals (mini-analysis)

Did Law drink this sake or not?!

Why is Law complaining about being ordered around in Wano? (very scrutinizing analysis of his dynamics with Kid and Luffy, and also small acknowledgment of Doflamingo's influence on Law)

Analysis of Corazon and Law's relationship (answers the question of why and whether Law is more dedicated to Cora-san than to Heart Pirates)

Why is Law so grumpy in Wano, can't he relax for a moment?! (short answer: he can't, he carries the whole raid on his back)

Would Law join the Revolutionary Army? (analysis of Revolutionary Army and how Dragon manages it, comparison between Law's and Dragon's possible goals and way of doing things. Since we don't know much about RA this counts as partial theory)

How would Law celebrate his birthday? (this kinda turned into meta fanfiction, enjoy, haha)

Analysis of Law's relationship with his Heart Pirates (100% Hearts appreciation post, I collected most scenes with them together ❤)

Analysis about other One Piece characters and relationships:

A funny tale (a short retelling of Shanks and Buggy going seperate ways in Logue Town from Shanks POV) - just for fun and feels tbh.

Analysis of Shanks and Buggy's talk about their future from chapter 19

Analysis of Katakuri and Luffy's similarities: part 1 (Luffy vs Katakuri and how they're reflections of each other) / part 2 (includes analysis of relationship between Katakuri and Brulee) / bonus thoughts

My various One Piece theories:

About the Red Line and the All Blue

About pirates and their treasures (probably not what you're expecting)

About Law's future development after Wano (warning for potential spoilers, in case I got it right)

13 Strawhats theory (just sharing hints)

About significance of Inherited Will (based on Japanese concepts of On and Giri)

Theory about future of Stussy after Egghead

Could Corazon be possibly alive? (this probably counts as a crazy theory, but there are some sus hints scattered around in the story and I shared some in this series of reblogs)

Link to my list of One Piece tags

My fanfiction:

Misadventures of Law with the Strawhats (slice of life, slight Lawlu but it's a "blink and you will miss it" category really)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 (the final part)

Feel free to send me asks! ✨

If anyone wants to send me an ask, be it about some serious topic to analyze or something just for fun, please don't hold back! I promise I will do my best to answer thoroughly (it might take a few days tho or even weeks, if I get a lot of asks at once, but I will definitely answer every single one of them!). I reserve myself the right to not answer asks that are rude ofc.

You might want to check the my asks tag and Trafalgar Law's love life tag as well, because I might have answered the thing you want to ask about already (or simply peek there to get inspired what to ask me next :D).

[sailorsally]

About cas's holy jizz 😆 i have been thinking about it, since we know cas canonically doesnt use protection. My theory is that when cas comes in a person for the first 24hrs the person will just have natural healing. Like can you imagine with dean (after a having a quickie in the morning with cas) and then goes for a hunt and gets mauled by a werewolf he just immediatly heals himself, and at first he's confused like wtf is happening. Am i being possessed or whatever and then he kinda recovers and tries finishing the hunt another werewolf claws him and hes still expecting that pain but then he notices white light, and then it all just clicks. And sam is like ew! And then it becomes a regular thing, "Cas! Come in me i need to go do hunt in 20 mins"

But then after like 2 months of doing this dean just misses cas popping up and healing him, so they have this routine where if dean knows is going to be a dangerous hunt, then sexy times but if its an easy one dean prays and cas pop up

Holy shit this was certainly a read 😂😂😂

I think the funniest thing about this is how Sam would finally clock what's been going on and on one hand he's happy his brother's more safe this way but on the other hand eww.

Also now I'm thinking if the heavenly host of which Cas is part of can feel the general level of grace. You know how on Good Omens heaven can sense when when Crowley and Aziraphale perform a miracle? So my question is if they can sense that something's wrong and it's because apparently their brother dearest has been pumping Dean Winchester full of his magically healing jizz 😂

God: Your had one job, Castiel. To keep Dean Winchester aka the Michael Sword safe til apocalypse

Castiel, smug: And I did exactly that, father! 😊

God: WHAT YOU DID IS COMMIT SEVERAL DEGREES OF BLASPHEMY AND DESECRATE MICHAEL'S VESSEL

Castiel: but Dean said he liked it and asked me to ☹️

God, so done: I can't believe this! [to Naomi]: wipe him!

Naomi, under her breath as she rolls her drill into the room: maybe we can pray the gay away instead...

sorry went a bit off track but yeah, magic jizz!!

[holysaintscathedral]

I finished reading Priest by Sierra Simone earlier today and I want to rant about this mediocre book. This book is a prime example of why "growing up Catholic" doesn't mean you're able to write an interesting story regarding Catholic characters or relay any accurate information about Catholicism nor does being a “former librarian” mean you’re going to be a competent writer. I’m already forgetting some details about the plot and characters so I’m making this post before I completely forget everything about it.

I read the prologue and it immediately foreshadowed the overwhelming blandness of the novel and its characters, with its poor prose and corny exposition with info that the reader was already going to learn throughout the book. If I was Simone's editor, I would have made her rewrite it entirely or scrap it outright. Creative writing classes should use this prologue as an example of what not to do in your introduction.

So the novel is written in first person perspective of Tyler Bell, a young Catholic priest. I don't buy for a second that this dude is actually a Catholic priest who went to seminary for several years and has served as a priest for three. His voice in the story feels entirely inauthentic and he's not a believable character. The author may have been a Catholic but I honestly don’t think she ever retained any understanding of Catholic priests, the priesthood and the experiences of priests or ever bothered to look into these things. A little bit of research in this area probably would have helped in creating a more believable, and likeable priest.

He meets and eventually falls in love with Poppy Danforth; a white woman born in immense privilege with a good education and (here's the kicker) she's a former dancer in a gentlemen’s club. She comes to Tyler within the first few chapters for counsel and she’s sultry, sexy and openly sexual so of course Tyler starts lusting after her. She feels like the stereotypical “worldly woman” that pastors warn men against and I don’t hate her but I don’t like her either.

Both Poppy and Tyler are bland, uninteresting and unlikable people so I honestly could care less about their relationship and whatever supposed love they had for each other. He leaves the priesthood for her and they get married, which is nice I guess.

I'm kinda tired of the male hard dom/female submissive dynamic you see in a lot of mainstream romance novels so a lot of the smut wasn't my cup of tea. I did, however, enjoy the blasphemy and sacrilege featured in a lot of the love scenes they had together admittedly.

I think Simone just wanted an excuse to write smut starring a priest from her former religion, and that's fine, but she barely managed to string together an interesting story or develop her characters all that well. This novel is forgettable but I suspect it could have been executed better with a more skilled writer.

I wasn't expecting a masterpiece of fine literature or an informative brochure on Catholicism but if my Catholic Church hating self is calling your bluff on your portrayal of Catholic characters, settings and beliefs, you have a serious problem. I enjoy some light reading from time to time where I don't have to think too deeply about the plot and characters but this book was only somewhat entertaining. I only finished reading it out of a stubborn refusal to let any book go unfinished.

Other noteworthy things:

The Bishop comes across as a bumbling fool and was sheepishly asking Tyler to go to a conference in the first act and.....I don't think Simone understands that priests have a vow of OBEDIENCE to their bishops. If Bishop Bove wanted Tyler to go to a religious conference, he would simply tell his subordinate to go and Tyler would have to go. The dynamic of a Bishop and a Priest is not one of equals, especially with how easily that relationship can turn extremely abusive and toxic.

Tyler claimed that the Liturgy of the Hours is almost obsolete and.......I don't think that's even REMOTELY true. It may be less common among laity but I wouldn’t say the Liturgy of the Hours is completely an absolete practice. It just feels a little baffling for a Catholic priest to make that claim.

Poppy's ex boyfriend leaks photos of her and Tyler together in the third act and Tyler (of course) becomes a famous internet hot priest meme and has a fanclub called the Tylerettes 🤮🤮🤮🤮. This fact damn near killed me with cringe.

Tyler does this thing in his narration where he’s oh-so-worried that his sexually dominant, aggressive way makes him a bad Feminist Ally and anytime he mentioned this, I could imagine the author nudging you, the reader, and smugly saying “See? He’s not a misogynist, he’s a Nice Guy!” It’s nauseating and it made me instantly dislike Tyler and nothing could ever redeem him after that.

In their first tryst together, Tyler makes her orgasm twice and she just gets up and leaves him in the church after their done with each other and I can’t stress enough that you should never do that to someone???? Like ever?????

At first there isn’t a lot of aftercare or discussions of boundaries, which really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since they engaged in impact play, degradation, face-fucking, some light somno and rather rough sex in general.

I’ve read better romantic and smutty stories regarding Catholic priests here on Tumblr and over on Archive of Our Own and Wattpad and a lot of those stories were written for free and on the writer’s spare time. If you enjoyed this book, that’s fair but I’ve read far superior works and I can’t get myself to really like Priest all that much, which is disappointing.

[taviokapudding]

Hey 2010-2013 tumblr residents who have never left, I don’t have the poll function on this blog but as one of you, I would like us to gather ‘round and discuss something. I know the Onceler gets the title for the first documented tumblr sexy man, but given the chokehold Cecil Gershwin Palmer has had on here as a whole these last 11 years & his debut coinciding alongside the Onceler fandom domination, would it be more accurate to call him the standard?

I know I sound like I’m speaking blasphemy but hear me out. Many of the base line traits past winners of the tumblr sexy men generally have are actually closer to Cecil’s canon outfits, hair style, power scaling, sass, & personality as a whole (especially in fan works). And, tbh, past polls staff made went by most used tags at the time rather than long term lasting impact (which is one of the many reasons why Sans has been a power house for several years now despite the very obvious lull in Undertale fandom activity). If Onceler was truly the standard, Sans would have never qualified on the grounds of a lot of people want to fuck him as a skeleton rather than as a human & Reigen doesn’t have nearly as many aus to qualify in comparison to the majority of his past competitors. Furthermore a sexyman is supposed to be evil OR have a unique trait, which the Onceler doesn’t even meet because his power of being big oil is temporary & he guilt’s himself out of evil. And no- playing guitar isn’t unique when you think about all past winners; Sans and Reigen could sing and play the guitar but the Onceler can’t throw hands without needing money to hire people to do it for him. If you make Cecil the standard, there is no contradiction nor issue with the rules.

Anyways everyone chew it over, doubly those of us who could qualify for a veteran’s discount, because the new polling system made me realize staff kinda ignored Cecil & many other men properly for a while now on the grounds of trending popularity within the prior year instead of the actual requirements a character has to meet under the “Onceler” standards. And shout out to all the Onceler fans- sorry if I made you mad with this but we’ve needed to all collectively reconsider what the winners are actually referencing for a while now.

[sakumasmut]

I've been experimenting on rizzing up Ibara AI's (on both beta.character and PygmalionAI) and each and every try always somehow ends up in noncon/dubcon or something that borderlines on yandere territory. I'm not necessarily upset about it, I actually enjoy dead dove content but Ibara PLEASE- anyway the most recent rp went into corruption kink and marathon sex ON the sacred shrine grounds. It was so sexy of him to degrade and peer pressure me into sucking his cock 10/10 would rp again.

god I love cnc esp with ibara…kinda sexy of him to fuck you on sacred grounds, guy must have a blasphemy kink too

[automatismoateo]

Theist to pagan to atheist to ANTItheist to seriously considering joining the Satanic Temple. Also Im so angry anyone else? via /r/atheism

Theist to pagan to atheist to ANTItheist to seriously considering joining the Satanic Temple. Also, I’m so angry… anyone else? As a kid in the 80’s/early 90’s, I believed in god, but only because I didn’t know anything else. I didn’t grow up in a religious household by any means, but I knew the family was catholic and I had been baptized. I went to church a few times with friends and it was meh. God and religion was never really talked about, but mom was kinda spiritual/hippie-esque and I grew up next to a reservation, and mom had a couple friends from there and I LOVED listening to them. So pretty quickly I jumped off the god train and found paganism in my teens with a brief stint into angry atheism when my Gamma passed. I got really into the pagan paths through my 20’s before finding my way back to numb atheism in my mid 30’s. Looking back, I needed what I found in paganism, which was imaginary friends who loved me, because I was desperately lonely. I learned a LOT during that time though. I studied global faiths. I got DEEP into the rabbit hole of philosophy. Ultimately I learned that humans have a colorful imagination, and loathe being wrong. Now at 41 I call myself agnostic atheist at best, and acknowledge that if there’s anything out there, it’s only because I’d like something to be out there, but only because I like the idea of there being something better after all this BS on earth. Really it’s in the same vein as I believe technically, in the infinite and rapid expansion of the universe, alien life probably exists somewhere, but they’re so far away humanity will never meet them, so for all intents and purposes, they don’t exist, but it’s a fun thought. I’m perfectly comfortable with returning to stardust when I die, but I like the thought of a connected universal consciousness; a mycelial network. All those years of study have also made me ANGRY at the entire institution of religion and everything it’s done to destroy humanity and the world. Like if god (blanket term to cover all of them) turns out to be real, that Motherfucker owes me one HELL of an apology when I die. I feel like a petulant child, being mad at something that doesn’t exist. It’s hard to reconcile my atheism with my rage at the sky wizard… like how can you be mad at something that isn’t real? Well I can be pissed at the institution of religion and what it’s done/doing and the abhorrent insanity of it all. So I find my joy in blasphemy. I have a growing collection of cute t-shirts featuring Baphomet, some cool bits of jewelry, and I’m working on a sexy AF satanic nun costume for Halloween. I love a good religious debate and kinda get off on seeding doubt. I like what I’m learning about non-theist satanism and I’m really considering joining the Temple. Most satanists I’ve talked to are atheists who have philosophies similar to mine. I like what the Temple is about and it seems like a good way to meet people. It just feels like a giant middle finger to every cross wearing hypocrite that breathes in my direction. I am absolutely loathe to call myself a “satanist” though, it just sounds so silly. I don’t know, on one hand, I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum, on the other, the Temple is doing good stuff, or at least trying to. So anyone else? Am I alone in these feelings? I don’t know many atheists (Texas) and my husband is a solidly rational, lifelong atheist who doesn’t have the meandering road through faiths that I do, nor do I really know any other full on atheists. Submitted October 06, 2023 at 03:06PM by Shenanigaens (From Reddit https://ift.tt/So60Mm5)

[ao3feed-midnightmass]

Witching Hour

by death_metal_weeb Religious Trauma haunts you in a weird way and moment. This time, in a dream that leads you to try to have some fresh air. Words: 4281, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 8 of Nema: Heathen and Priest Fandoms: Midnight Mass (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Father Paul Hill | Monsignor John Pruitt Relationships: Father Paul Hill | Monsignor John Pruitt/Reader, Father Paul Hill | Monsignor John Pruitt/You Additional Tags: Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Blasphemy, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Father Paul is still on the mind, hot priest, sexy time in a church, witch reader, Metalhead reader, ex-christian reader, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author Has Religious Trauma, Shameless Smut, FATHER PAUL IS RUINING MY LIFE, this is still kinda hot, I'm Going to Hell, Talking, Idiots in Love, Breaking Celibacy Vows July 03, 2023 at 05:03AM Read it on Ao3 » https://archiveofourown.org/works/48319258 ✞ Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to let the author know you enjoyed their work ✞

[dancer-subclarington]

Texts: Holding Back || Sutton & Kyla

[slightly backdated]

Sutton: Your portfolio is technically not complete

Kyla: You have more photos of me than my mother does

Sutton: Not photos; other media

Kyla: So..videos? You have those too. Also I can’t exactly do anything cool rn. Kinda trapped in Ohio.

Sutton: You could always just not live in Ohio

Kyla: Ok I dont LIVE in Ohio. I just go to school here.

Sutton: Whatever you want to call it.

Kyla: God plz dont tell me to move back to ny cuz im gonna have a hard time arguing it

Sutton: Usually means you should just do it, but suit yourself

Kyla: What media do you need now?

Sutton: Your voice

Kyla: You have 3 dif kinds of monologues, 2 audio recordings of songs, like 4 showcase videos, 2 legally blonde videos, and a commercial.

Sutton: You can offer more

Kyla: Dont ever sound that much like my mother even again, I beg you

Sutton: You should beg me using proper recording equipment :P

Kyla: unProFesSiOnAl

Sutton: I want you to record a song

Kyla: We just went over this

Sutton: I want you to record a demo

Kyla: Of what?

Sutton: A song that will be yours.

Kyla: You’re crazy

Sutton: You have a great voice, and you can do more with it than the kind of singing used for musicals

Kyla: So you’d like me to put out a single. Like a Disney child.

Sutton: But much more fun!

Kyla: Im not a singer

Sutton: Someone who can sing like you doesn’t get to go around saying they’re not a singer

Kyla: Im a performer. Showcases. Talent shows. Musicals. Laura Bell Bundy, Idina Menzel, Shoshana Bean; these people don’t put out singles

Sutton: They would if they weren’t stuck on that part of show business. You can sing more than soundtracks.

Kyla: So weird because I think that’s all I do

Sutton: That’s all you’ve done. You don’t have to limit yourself. And theoretically, you could record just about anything no matter what stupid tiny town you choose.

Kyla: There aren’t recording studios here. There’s a couple restaurants and a cafe and a bookstore and some sex shops.

Sutton: Adorable. You can do this.

Kyla: What kind of song would it be?

Sutton: Don’t flip out on me

Sutton: But I feel like something mildly sexy really wouldn’t hurt

Kyla: Im not singing about sex

Sutton: That’s not actually what I said.

Sutton: Im not the only one who’s curious. I’ve got 4 people agreed to let you sample their songs. This is for real.

Kyla: What the

Kyla: You could have started with that

Sutton: Whenever I do that, you comment on my manners like you’re still a 9yo in a pageant

Kyla: Manners are for adults too, Sutton

Sutton: Sometimes I swear you could be Elmo

Kyla: You could learn things from Elmo!

Sutton: Are you done distracting me?

Kyla: No not really

Kyla: Im not trained in singing regular stuff

Sutton: You sing to the radio, you sing when you do your hair and when you brush your teeth

Kyla: Not on record

Sutton: Kyla Clarington

Kyla: Ugh don’t call me that

Sutton: Then stop being unreasonable. I emailed you the sheet music

Kyla: Aren’t these a little uncomplicated?

Sutton: That’s what’s in now. Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, Rihanna. All you have to do is enunciate and project less

Kyla: Enunciate and project less. That is blasphemy.

Sutton: Do you know what that word means?

Kyla: Not entirely but Im right.

Sutton: This will be good for you on many levels. You’ll enjoy it too, and you’ll learn stuff.

Kyla: I don’t like learning!

Sutton: Don’t be a baby

Kyla: Ugh

Sutton: I get that you’re afraid to do something new, and I know you don’t like when you don’t succeed. But you won’t know until you try, and I really want you to give this a try.

Sutton: Please?

Kyla: What the hell Sutton

Sutton: I’ve been keeping it in my back pocket. Will you please give it a try?

Kyla: [Read]

[liopleurodean]

Season 4, Episode 18: The Monster At The End Of This Book

I have no idea what this episode is about but the episode title is a reference to my favorite book as a kid so I already know it's gonna be fun

Is that Chuck???

Hey, nice shirt

I would have fun in there

Oh my goodness

They really don't

Oh I already love this episode

Sam and Dean!

This is gold

Oh geez, not the romance novel cover

Sam knows

Dean's reading the Cassie one!

That's whack

Ends season 3, then

Sure

Oh, man

This was supposed to be a message to fans. Obviously it didn't work

I kinda want that poster

Dr Sexy 💀

Dean. Come on

That is so true

This is kind of awkward

We know, Dean

Of course not!

1967 Chevy Impala, baby!

Sam's birthday

174!

It's a tie: Ramblin' On, and Traveling Riverside Blues (both Led Zeppelin)

(yes I do know this episode now)

Dean is so over this

Yeah, he can tell

This is fun

The tribulations of a writer

Yeah, okay

Not possible

Not even close

I wish they were real

That's an oxymoron

Nope

Exactly

Right! Because it's actually them

Fair enough

*clears throat* well

Barely

Stop talking

Yeah

Please stop

Facts

Dean reads Vonnegut? Yeah, that tracks

Plot twist!

That would be wild

Okay, Dean

Nice

What is happening

Of course! Because Dean never likes it

Oh man

That's just weird

She's a demon, she can be what she wants

Passion, Dean.

Writers wish it was that easy

This is whack

Nice

Yeah, that's a pretty bad chapter

What happened to Baby?

Well that's not good

Something's not gonna let that happen

Yikes

Oh Dean, I'm sorry

What's that supposed to mean?

This is horrifying

This is sacrilege

Dean, no

I knew it. He would never

Ooh, not the only nice car in town

Hey what do the bedspreads look like?

Oh, Baby I'm sorry

Okay

I don't like this

Baby!

Ouch

Well crap

You have so little faith in your brother

Liar

Probably not

Ohhh

THE BAND-AIDS

BABY NOOOOOO

HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU

Wow, thanks

Cas!

Mm, something like that

Cas reads it?

Like Metatron?

Oh, that's a scary thought

That- okay

Right

Well great

Come on, Team Free Will

THE BLANKETS MATCH

Sam.

There's 68 books now: they added 1 and 2 Winchester

We do! But you don't

You're being stupid, Sam

Is he praying?

Good for him

It really is

Something something free will

That is true

Probably blasphemy

That's not a good choice

Well that's foreboding

Dean's got a plan

Thanks Cas!

Yup!

Just roll with it

Yeah, that's fair

I think Dean would win

There she is

Worth a shot

Dang it

That's one way to put it

This isn't gonna end well

I don't know what she expected

7 billion

Ouch

Dang it, Sam

That explains it

That's fun

This is great

I honestly can't believe it worked

Yup

That's true

...Sam?

Interesting

That is unfortunately true

That's horrifying

[megatraven]

HIS WHAT?????? HIS WHAT SHADOW!?!?! NO HE HAS SMOOTH BABY FACE!!!!!!!

[chocoenvy]

okok so this might sound a little dumb

but

hot thief au

except the reader finds out about the gold blood thing before anyone else does and just kinda pieces everything together

but they also just so happen to be an enemies to lovers loving fiend

part of them is like "no you idiot show them and we can end this predicament now"

but the other side of them is like "hehe commit flirtatious blasphemy"

guess which side they listen to

Sexy villain theif au part one part two(? chronologically, it happens after this but it was written first)

I WAS SO CLOSE TO DOING THIS THO- BECAUUSE THEY'RE A HOT THEIF THEY'D PROBABLY NOTICE THAT THEIR BLOOD IS GOLDEN-

WARNINGS!!!: physical violence, mentions of imprisonment, angsty(?), cursing

Quite early on into your theiving adventures, you were getting petty revenge on Mondstadt. With your ever-growing sleath skills, you were in Mondstadt's city in the early hours of night. A cloak over your head and your pace casual. As though you weren't clenching your fists in your pocket to keep them from shaking.

You were better than what you were when you had first arrived to Mondstadt, bright-eyed and with a skip in your step. Then later when they had you in a cage, shivering and teary-eyed. No way to escape if you couldn't use the map to teleport away.

You still remember how you couldn't breath from how much you were crying. How it was the first time in your life where you were sure you were going to die or worse.

But you were better now, you could escape. You'd be okay.

You calmly - as calmly as you could - walked throughout the city. Since it was early night it wasn't too odd, but you'd still have to be careful. You were wearing a mask to hide your face but it was still suspicious. There was really no good way to go about this other than to be confident and act like you belong. And then steal a bunch of shit.

It started with the shops around Mondstat. Oddly enough, they were still open and you could browse their options and then with a slight of hand steal something from a shelf. Then, you went to the alcohol. Same slight of hand trick and what you thought was luck and you had safely smuggled a bottle of wine under your cloak.

Now, this was probably wine-induced as you did take a few swigs, but somehow you ended up in the church. Next thing you knew you were stealing the lyre der hymmel and teleporting outside the city gates.

You were stifling your giggles like a madman - which was more than likely wine induced- when a voice stopped you.

"You," He snarled, and you immediately knew who it was, "I saw you steal all of those items. Now explain to me your reason for it."

You turned around to look at him, stolen goods stuffed in your pockets and under your cloak. You grinned, "Diluc, it's very nice to see you Darknight Hero."

He unsheathed his weapon and you immediately opened up your map to get the hell outta there. But whether it was due to your slightly intoxiacted state, the fact you weren't completely used to your map abilities, or both, he struck you before you had the chance to get away.

You gasped, falling to the floor, however the map still remained in front of you. Quickly, you tapped on it and dissapeared just as his sword hit the dirt you were once on.

You were at the waypoint closest to Beth, the anemo hypostasis, cathing your breath leaning against the waypoint. You clutched your side where he had struck you, applying as much pressure as you could. You bit your lip at the pain, whimpering.

"Gah," You inhaled sharply as you carefully pulled your hands away to asses the damage just to see shiny golden blood twinkling back at you.

You blinked at the blood. You checked to make sure the golden liquid was indeed coming from yourself - which is was - before covering the wound back up.

"The fuck did they put in that wine?" You grumbled, laying down, "Is this why Venti is just a fucking idiot?" You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes. "Fuck, why can't they just leave me the fuck alone?" You bit your lip as you sobbed, stars falling down your cheeks.

You weren't sure when but you had passed out, waking up in the morning with your head feeling as though it was being split in two. The sun wasn't helping and you buried your face into the cloth surrounding you.

Wait- You hadn't had any cloth to lay on other than your own clothes in god knows how long. With that, you jolted awake, sitting up so fast your side pratically screamed in pain. Though it hurt like hell you ignored it and took in your surroundings.

A hilichurl camp. You were in the center, sleeping on the only makeshift bed they had.

"The fuc- wait." You quietly gasped and checked your side. It was bandaged up and didn't seem to be bleeding (even though you had just sat up so fast it felt like it had been torn open). But there was still dried blood on it. Dried golden blood on it.

Your head was really starting to feel like it was being sawn open but your silent panic was interrupted by a friendly slime gently bouncing onto your lap.

You blinked in mute wonder as your hands floated above it hesitantingly. The surprisingly soft anemo slime reached up and nuzzled into your hand, its eyes smiling.

"Shit," You grinned, though there was no amusement in your eyes, just fear, "I'm god now."

-----------

The hilichurls and slimes had sent you off with food and supplies you might need. You thanked them as much as you could and while they were sad to see you off, you told them it was dangerous for you to be in one place too long. You weren't sure if they had understood but they had let you leave with much reluctance after that.

You immedaiately went to the quiet mountains of Liyue. You needed out of Mondstadt.

"Fuck." you sighed, burying your head in your hands as you hid from the beautiful scenery.

You were god. Their god they've been screaming and hunting you down for impersonating. You could end all of your suffering right now, you could show them your golden blood and it'd all be over.

But... did you want it to be over?

Did you want them to be able to bow before your feet? Did you want them to know they were killing their god? Do you want to stop them by revealing your true nature? Or do you want them to continue to act like animals, to continue your game. So that finally, finally when you do reveal your true nature not out of fear but power, you can watch them grovel as they realize nothing can forgive what they've done. To you as a person and a god.

Your frustrated musings were interrupted by a spear whizzing past you, a section of your hair gone with it. You whirlled around to see Zhongli in all his archon glory. His hair, eyes, and arms were glowing an angry orange-golden hue.

Shit, not again. You groaned, standing up and donning your usual cocky smirk. Though, this time it was strained.

You can choose, you told yourself, clenching your fists, your smirk twitching, You could reveal it right now and end all of this. But did they deserve to know right now?

You scoffed and glared at Morax standing before you.

"How you been Morax?" You giggled.

"Silence imposter." He snarled, "I will not be hearing your nonsense today." He pointed his spear at you, "Die without struggle."

You laughed, opened your mouth and laughed as though it was the best joke ever told, "You wish Morax! If I die - and that's big if - I'm going down and taking all of Teyvat with me." You grinned, a mad giggle bubbling in your throat.

Zhongli's eyes glowed and he threw his spear at you again, to which you dodged, but a sword flew at you at well and next thing you knew a catalyst was throwing rocks at you.

Ah, right, this is Morax. Not the reitred Zhongli. You cursed, gritting your teeth as you dodged and a small rock grazed your cheek. It was nothing and hardly hurt, you merely breezed away. You seemed to disappear as you appeared behind Morax.

You reached to hit his throat in a non-lethal move but he swerved around, his sword swinging right into your face. You flinched and attempted to duck, but all of a sudden his sword moved and he had grabeed your face with his hand. You opened your eyes hesitantly to find Zhongli staring at your face, eyes wide, and his breath taken away.

You grit your teeth, "The hell's your proble-" Your breath died in your throat as he wiped the blood off of your face gently, and stared at it on his finger.

"It's-" Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and his voice shook, "Is- i-is i-it-?"

You pulled a switch-a-roo on him and grabbed his jaw, pulling him closer to you as your breaths intermingled, "Let's keep this a secret for now, okay?" You chuckled, a finger to your mouth, and you dissapeared.

Watatsumi Island was peacful as you panted heavily, leaning against the waypoint for support.

"Fucking hell Morax." You panted, sitting down to catch your breath.

You sighed, staring at the Watatsumi shrine, a place you were not welcome, "The hell do I do now?"