#blackwood brothers

[team-mythic-beasts]

Phantasmia’s Most Notorious Witch Family: The Blackwood Brothers

By Lucas Reynard

“As if you alone isn’t already enough trouble, Arthur… you’re telling me there’s four of you?!”

— Jones Fitzgerald, upon learning about Arthur’s three brothers

Victoria “the Vile” Blackwood is widely regarded as one of, if not the worst witch in history. In fact, legend has it that she pissed off the gods so hard that they cursed the Blackwood bloodline to end with her kids.

Aladsair Scot Blackwood

A.K.A. Alasdair of Crafts, Blue Witch of Alvskog

Born to Victoria’s first husband, Duncan Brown.

Due to bullying from Arthur, the oldest of the Blackwood Brothers usually goes by his middle name. Scot strives to at least be a positive influence towards his younger brothers, even if they don’t usually return the favor. Well, not that he was an objectively good guy to begin with… after all, he’s still the son of Phantasmia’s worst witch.

Scot’s heart lies in arts n’ crafts, as he did not become a full-fledged witch until early adulthood. After Victoria’s death, Scot abducted a band of witches to the northern island of Alvskog, where he would start a coven selling handbags and clothing. To his delight, his “victims” saw appeal in his art where his family failed, so much that they stayed behind even after their contracts had long expired.

Arthur George Blackwood

A.K.A. Arthur of Potions, Dark Witch of Haar

First child of Victoria and her second husband, Edward Griffith.

Unlike Scot, Arthur realized his talent for witchcraft as a toddler, for which his mother branded him a prodigy (heh, ironic) and her heir. She would later divorce Duncan for Edward and (forcefully) teach the marriage curse to Arthur, hoping he would be the one to continue the family legacy.

Without a doubt, Arthur is the worst of the four brothers. He would blatantly insult his courses, teachers, and peers before dropping out of witch school. His Potions Coven only lasted months due to his foul temper and abrasive personality. And soon enough, those fed up with Arthur’s bullshit would succeed in getting him banished to the Isle of Haar at the ripe old age of 23.

Dylan Elis “Dylanelis” Blackwood

A.K.A. Dylan of Morphs, Red Witch of Alphica

Second child of Victoria and Edward. Despite being Arthur's full brother, Dylanelis did not receive as much affection from his mother. Instead, she considered him so ugly that she denied him the marriage curse, claiming he wouldn't be able to “defend” a partner for a year anyway.

Being another reject of Victoria’s only made Dylanelis a dangerously ambitious man, stopping at nowhere to achieve his grandest, wildest dreams - one of which happens to be proving his mother wrong. Though if he can’t manage that, he can study Morphs, the art of turning people into animals, until he can become a dragon.

Dylanelis was the only one who got to form a close bond with his father. Once the brothers parted ways after Victoria’s death, the Morphs specialist set up his cottage closest to Alphica, Edward’s hometown. He also keeps a copy of his book, So You Married A Witch, in case his future partner needs it.

Uilliam “Liam” Blackwood

A.K.A. Uilliam of Ailments, Green Witch of Zefora

Believing Liam to be a demon child due to his cursed eye, his birth parents left him to dead in the woods, where he would be discovered by a mourning Victoria. She would die soon after Liam turned four, leaving him under the care of then 20-year-old Scot.

Perhaps it is because of her mother's neglect towards him and treachery against his father that Scot strove to give his baby brother a healthy childhood - and a healthy childhood he gave him, as Liam turned out to be as normal and bearable as a witch can possibly be. For this same reason, Liam also had the privilege to meet Duncan.

Unfortunately, even with his reliable older brother’s gift of an eyepatch, Liam is banned from every sizable settlement in Phantasmia due to his death-inducing eye... and also because of his other curses. So he made the windy hills in the far west his home - and fortunately, he’s doing quite well!

[thriftstoresisyphus]

The Blackwood Brothers "featuring Cecil Blackwood"

[murderandcoffee]

jonah magnus founded his institute to collect two things:

-statements of fear to feed the eye

-offputting queers

[pinkelotjeart]

Inspired by this post about going on a roadtrip with a podcast character by @vvanillavveins . I personally disagreed with how people voted for Jon because Carpenter is the clear obvious right answer, but then my friend suggested, “what if road trip TOGETHER”

I had more ideas but I’ll leave it at this for now. Tma fans listen to the silt verses please

[lucien-calore]

you can tell avery was raised as an only child by the way she got so spooked with the way the hawthorne brothers casually beat each other up

[sleepboysummer]

do u think she listened to dancing queen on her 17th birthday never thinking it would be her last one

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

title: an emotional rollercoaster

pairing: xander hawthorne x reader

synopsis: you hate rollercoasters but with a little persuasion xander manages to get you on one only you’d forgotten how badly you couldn’t handle them

warnings: dizziness/feeling faint

a/n: hope you enjoy 🤍🤍

taglist: @lovethornes @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @fleuriosa @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31 @loveinalocket @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast

“No!” I exclaim for the fiftieth time , throwing my head back and laughing.

“Please,” Xander begs, pulling out his puppy dog eyes.

Usually they’d work but with what was at stake I was not about to let them win me over this time.

I turn my head stubbornly, “no.”

“Please!” he says desperately.

“Xander I already told you I’m not going on any of these,” I remind him with a smile.

I mean I wasn’t going to come at all, it was a miracle Xander got me out of the house. Theme parks were not my scene, I hated rollercoasters and people and crowds and basically everything about the place. Still, Xander had begged me to go and I had obliged. Damn those puppy dog eyes.

“They’re honestly not that bad,” he says, glancing up at one of the largest death-inducing machines of mankind.

“Nu-uh we had a deal,” I reply stubbornly, “I would come to the theme park and watch everyone else if I didn’t have to go on any of the rides.”

He looks at me pleadingly, “just one.”

“No Xand I hate them,” I deadpan.

“You could handle this one easily,” he rolls his eyes playfully pointing to one with about six loops.

“I told you about my rollercoaster trauma!” I exclaim, glaring at him.

“You were five and under the height limit,” he reminds me.

“And I still passed out,” I almost yell.

“Just one tiny weeny little ride,” he says, squinting excessively and making weird hand gestures as if I’d magically be convinced.

“No,” I chuckle, “how do you not understand that word?”

“He hasn’t since he was about two,” Jameson chirps in passing, walking off to a food cart with Avery, “you’ll get used to it.”

Xander jabs him in ribs as he passes and the turns back to me. A stubborn dog with a bone. Nearly as stubborn as me.

“Come on,” he sings, “you know you want to.”

I raise an eyebrow, “in what alternate universe is that?”

He opens his mouth to reply but I already know what he is going to say.

“The answer is no,” I reply.

“What if…” he grins with that mischievous Hawthorne look in his eyes, “…you ride this one with me I’ll buy you ten books on the way home.”

I stop. Physically come to a halt to process the possibility. Ten books. Ten whole books. It’s an irresistible offer and he knows it.

“Even the limited edition version of shatter me?” I test him.

I’ve been begging him for months and the only reason he’s said no is because I have five other copies at home. Even though I insist this one is a must, he strongly disagrees.

He sighs, his chocolate eyes flicking to me with a withered expression, “yes even the limited edition of shatter me.”

My jaw drops as I grab his arm and I almost start to jump up and down, “are you kidding?”

“One ride baby and it’s all yours,” Xander winks back.

There’s a long pause. I hate rollercoasters, I hate theme parks, I hate the thought of going on a ride but I love books, I love the shatter me series and I would love limited edition copy…

Decisions, decisions…

“Fine,” I grumble.

His whole face lights up and my heart swells, I love it when he looks like this, “you’re serious?”

“One ride for ten books one of which a limited edition, sounds like a pretty good deal for me,” I shrug, the nerves creeping in as I realise what I’m really getting myself into.

“So you mean for the whole of today I could’ve bribed you with books,” he says, staring at me like I was his world as he tucked my hair behind my ears.

“Probably,” I nod.

“Damn it,” he mutters.

I poke my tongue out and begin to walk again.

Xander laughs and holds my shoulders, softly turning me around, “the line is this way honey.”

He steers me over to an extremely lengthy queue leading to something I knew I seriously did not want to set foot on. I gape at the line.

“It’s worth the wait,” Xander explains, reading my expression.

“Indeed it is,” comes a familiar voice. I spin around to find Jameson behind me, joining the queue.

“Where did you come from?” Xander asks.

“The food cart line was too long and I got distracted,” he shrugs.

“And we’ve wanted to do on this all day,” Avery adds pointing up.

I stare at her, “this?”

“Yep,” Jameson nods, leaning on the railing, “so how comes Xander’s roped you into this one.”

“He promised me books,” I explain.

He grins at Xander, “smart one.”

He looks around, “where did everyone else go?”

“Lib went on the death drop again and of course Nash said yes to going with her practically with hearts pulsating in his eyes,” Jameson continues .

“She’s addicted to that ride,” Xander chuckles, shaking his head

I tilt my head to admire him. It‘s hard not to. I like to just watch him sometimes, the way the corners of his mouth twitch upwards every few seconds, the way his eyes light up when he talks to his brother, everything, I loved everything.

“I know,” Jameson hums in response, “Grayson and Lyra made a bet on who could walk in a straight line and not spill any water after the teacups, my money is on Lyra.”

“Mine too,” he says, “how does Gray think he stands a chance with all the pirouettes she can do?”

Jameson shrugs, “ he’s a stubborn idiot.”

“Not like you can say much then,” Avery smiles, batting her eyelashes at him.

Jameson slips an arm around her waist and pulls her in, “that one hurt heiress.”

“What a shame,” she murmurs, her gaze pinned to his green eyes.

From then on their conversation sort of blurs. There’s sound but I don’t identify any of the words. It’s all in the background, I’m too busy analysing the death wish to which I’d signed a forever binding contract to. How had I managed to be persuaded so easily?

“Don’t look so petrified,” Xander mumbles into my hair, wrapped his around me from the back and reeling me into his chest.

“It’s a little difficult,” I reply, not breaking eye contact from the rollercoaster.

“You might love it,” he says.

“Trust me when I tell you, I will not,” I scoff.

“I can’t believe he convinced you,” Avery says, shaking her head.

“I am magical like that,” Xander responds and I can hear the grin I loved so much in his voice.

“Sure,” Jameson rolls his eyes.

“Hey!”

I look at Jameson, “have you been on this one before?”

“Only a thousand times,” Jameson grins, “me and Xander used to stuff things in our shoes to surpass the height limit so we could go on with Nash and Gray.”

My jaw drops without my consent, “and none of you have ever died?”

“Well Gray’s a bit emotionally dead but-“ Jameson begins, when Avery whacks him and gives him a sharp warning look, “hey ow! let me finish! But that has nothing to do with a rollercoaster.”

“Good to know,” I sigh.

“You’ll be fine,” Xander soothes, rubbing my and own my arms, “don’t worry about it.”

“Unless you fall out,” Jameson smirks, “then you most definitely won’t be fine.”

Avery’s glare becomes more piercing and a fear I wasn’t used to seeing in Jameson flickers across his face. Usually it would amuse me to see him scared but right now I was too focussed on my own worries.

“Jamie don’t be mean,” she snaps.

“I mean it’s a fact if you fall out-“

“Pay no attention to what comes out of his mouth,” she cuts him off, addressing me, “I don’t half the time.”

“Ouch heiress you know how to cut me deep,” Jameson winces holding the left side of his chest.

Avery takes a step closer to him, tilting her head up softly to meet his gaze, a small smile laces her lips, “I know how to do a lot more than that.”

I watch them, wondering if me and Xander ever looked that in love.

“Guys, get a room,” Xander announces.

I wrinkled my nose.

“I didn’t even mean it like that!” Avery exclaims.

“Sure!” he rolls his eyes with a scoff.

I step to the side and tilt my head seeing the endless queue of people. If the queue is as long as I think it is I might never reach the front. Perfect I wouldn’t have to die on a rollercoaster, just in the line for one.

“How long is this queue?” I ask, changing the subject

“Not that long,” Jameson shrugs, “wait time’s only an hour.”

“An hour?” I gape in my surprise, “people queue an hour for this?”

“Says the girl who camped out when Holly Black came to a book signing,” Xander teases.

I fold my arms and stare at him with my eyebrows raised, “your point?”

“This is people’s Holly Black book signing,” he explains.

“This?” I almost yell in disbelief, “this death trap?”

“Precisely.”

I shake my head, “I will never understand people.”

“That’s what I love about you,” he winks.

I narrow my eyes as he takes the small of my back into his palms, “the only thing?” I ask softly.

“Of course not,” he grins, “but if I sat here and listed it to you we’d be dead before I got to the end.”

“How morbidly adorable,” I reply dryly, secretly melting inside.

He laughs, his eyes sparkling with something that made my heart race, “I love you.”

“If you loved me I would not be in this line,” I deadpan.

“And if you loved me you’d ride this rollercoaster with me,” he counters, poking his tongue out.

“See I never said I loved you back when you told me you loved me,” I shrug.

“Your eyes did though,” Xander replies, making my cheeks tint a gentle pink colour.

A smile breaks out into my face and steals away my features, “what did I tell you about reading my eyes?”

“Are you two quite finished?” Jameson coughs.

“No we haven’t snogged yet,” I snap back, “shut up.”

“I mean you can’t say a lot Jamie,” Xander adds, “you and Avery are x rated compared to us.”

“We are not x rated,” Avery steps in.

“Oh so when I walked in on you-“

“We’re in public Xander,” Jameson yells, panic and desperation flickering through his eyes.

Xander smiles satisfactorily, “that’s what I thought.”

“Let them have their moment Jamie,” Avery murmurs softly, taking his hand.

I look back to Xander, “where were we?”

“You were complaining about my eye reading tendencies,” he answers, flashing me a grin.

“Well,” I shrug softly, “it’s not fair you know what I’m thinking all the time.”

“You want to know what I’m thinking right now?” he whispers, forehead pressed against mine.

“Hmmm,” I hum.

“I’m thinking I want to kiss you,” he murmurs, his voice is low and in the back of his throat, making my insides go weak.

I let my lips nearly sit on his, “then why aren’t you?”

He smiles and slowly initiates this kiss. His lips brush over mine so gentle and tentative. His hands slide in my back, then around my neck and finally cupping my face.

“Has that helped with the nerves?” he asks a hint of seduction in his voice that he only used when we were in particular circumstances.

“You might need to do it again,” I say with doe eyes.

“I don’t want to traumatise too many kids we might get kicked out,” he chuckles.

“If we get kicked out that means I don’t have to go on this ride,” I beam.

“That’s why we’re not getting kicked out,” he says, booping the tip of my nose.

I sigh. It was worth a shot.

“It feels like I’ve moved nowhere,” I complain, peering down at the line that’s just as long as before.

“They’re very little steps,” he reasons.

I say, my aching limbs weighing like lead, “Xand my legs hurt.”

“Come here then…”

He opens his arms and I lazily lean on him like he’s my life support. He wraps his arms around me and brings me into a comforting hug. I’d always loved being in Xander’s arms, he was hands down the world’s best hugger. I felt safe and warm and loved.

“You tired?” he asks, probably noticing my eyes drooping slightly.

“Mhmmm.”

He laughs, “you look so cute right now,”

“Stop it,” I blush, shying away from his gaze.

“You do,” he says, “your face was all squished.”

“Oh thanks,” I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

“I love it.”

“That is not a compliment,” I say, leaning back onto him again. My wimps of legs aching as if I’d never held my own weight up before.

“Here get on my back,” Xander offers.

“You want go piggy back me?” I raise my eyebrows, folding my arms.

He looks me dead in the eyes, as serious as Xander gets, “yes, I want to piggy back you.”

I hesitate before I remember who I’m dating, then I shrug, “okay.”

And with that I just casually hopped onto his back and rebranded myself of his personal backpack.

“I feel like a koala,” I murmur into his ear.

“Don’t koalas usually cling onto the front?” Xander asks.

I shrug, “I don’t know, I’m not a koala expert.”

I rest my head on his shoulder and slump onto him. I can feel my nerves growing. I’ve tried to suppress them and distract myself from feeling them but now they were on the rise the closer to the front we got. I subconsciously play with the fabric of Xander’s shirt rubbing the fibres gently between my fingers over and over in a rhythmic pattern.

“What’s wrong?” he asks me. He knows me so well it hurts.

“Oh,” I murmur, a little consumed in my own anxious thoughts, “no nothing.”

“You sure?”

I hum in response as we take another step closer to the front of the queue. From the amount of people in front of us I assumed we’d be in the next lot to board. I chew the inside of my lip accidentally piercing it, the taste of metal filling my mouth.

“Xand,” my voice shakes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to do this,” I tell him.

He sets me down and places him hands on my hips, “what are you scared of?”

“Dying,” I reply immediately.

“Well that’s not going to happen at all and I can tell you that for sure,” he comforts.

“What if it does?”

“I won’t let it,” he replies, “besides we’re in the queue now there’s no turning back.”

“There is I can turn around right now and walk back that way,” I say pointing behind him.

Xander grins, “no no no, we are here now.”

We take another step forwards and the people infront of us begin to get on. We’re getting closer and closer to the start. My heart pounds in my chest, I can hear it roaring through my ears.

I stumble backwards in a panic, “I can’t do this, I actually can’t do it.”

“Yes you can,” he says gently, “I’ve got you.”

“Xander,” I exhale rubbing my temples, “I am freaking out.”

“Hold my hand.”

“Unless your hand has some magic anti-panic power that is really not going to help,” I exclaim.

“Good thing I’ve been brushing up on my sorcery,” he jokes with a witty expression.

“Xand I’m serious,” I hyperventilate with a deadly look in my eyes.

“Well you’re on it now,” he shrugs.

My jaw nearly drops, I’m sat on the rollercoaster and I hadn’t even realised I’d gotten on. I’d been too focussed on my mess of feelings that I’d been led on.

“I think I should get off,” I squeeze his hand.

“If you really want to you should,” Xander says with a soft look in his eyes.

I don’t move. My brain is telling me to but some force is pulling me down to my seat. Maybe I’m trying to prove something to myself or maybe I just really want that book. Whatever it is, I remain where I am.

I look at him with a determined sharpness in my eyes, “give me your hand.”

He beams widely and extends his arm, squeezing my palm in his.

“If you let go of me I will kill you,” I snap.

He tilts his head to the side and shoot me a lopsided grin, “I’ll never let go of you.”

And then it begins.

***

I had my eyes closed for the whole ride, screamed even when it had stopped and probably made Xander’s hand go purple with how tightly I was squeezing it.

The world spins as we get off and I stumble to meet the others.

“You’re looking a little pale there y/n,” Nash drawls, his eyebrow arched in concern.

“Feel dizzy,” I slur, panicked. I reach for my boyfriend, “Xand?”

My voice is barely a sound, you can hear the fear infecting every note.

“I got you,” he murmurs, supporting me with a hand around his waist .

His hand is warm against my side, still I can’t stand straight, “I hate you,” I grumble.

“I know,” he says, pulling me in closer so all of my weight is practically on him.

“I hated that.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to fall over,” I warn him, feeling my legs about to give way, “and my head really hurts.”

“Come here,” Xander tells me gently.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up into his arms, bridal style. My heavy head lolls towards him chest and collides with it.

“I’m just going to close my eyes to stop the spinning,” I say, my words disjointed and distant.

“You do that sweetie” he leans down and kisses my forehead and I feel his grip tighten around me.

“What did you do to her?” Libby asks, I can feel her gentle hand on my forehead checking for a temperature.

“I didn’t do anything,” Xander defends, “the giant metal contraption to our left however, did some real damage.”

“You got her on a rollercoaster,” I hear Lyra say and I can imagine her jaw is dropped, given the many conversations we’d had on how I would never go on a rollercoaster.

“Biggest life regret,” I mumble, eyes still shut.

Xander explains, “I promised to buy her books.”

“Who knew she could be so easily bribed,” Grayson comments dryly.

“Never again,” I groan, burying my face into Xander’s shirt to block out the light. I can smell him, his scent. It’s sweet, it’s comforting, it’s home. My heart rate slows a little and I feel my limbs relax.

“She looks like she’s dying,” Jameson responds.

“Thanks,” I scoff sarcastically with all the energy I had left.

Avery snaps, barely half a beat after me, “Jameson that’s horrible!” I hear a thump and a dramatic ‘ow’ and presume Avery whacked him.

“I feel like I’m dying,” I shrug, regretting trying to support my own head.

“Geez Xand I think you broke her,” Lyra says.

“Then I’ll fix her right back up,” he replies.

“I think she’s past the point of fixing,” Jameson says.

“Nothing is past the point of fixing,” Xander responds, a hard determination in his voice.

“Do we need to call someone or get some help?” Libby asks her eyebrows pinching together with a maternal concern.

I try to shake my head and fail miserably, “I’m just dizzy, it’ll pass.”

“Give her a sip of water,” Nash advises handing Libby a bottle.

She gently lifts my head and tips some down my throat, making sure I’d swallowed before I laid back down.

“Better?” I hear her ask.

“Yeah,” I respond.

“You’re a pathetic liar sweetheart,” Xander says with a small laugh.

“Shut up I’m fine,” I reply, although I very much did not feel fine.

“I’m going to take you home.”

Guilt twinges in my stomach.

“No, no,” I rush, trying to sit up in his arms and failing miserably, “don’t ruin your day, just stick me on the floor and I’ll be fine.”

It’s a total lie but I don’t care. He shouldn’t have to miss out because I can’t handle something.

“We’ll see you guys a bit later,” he turns to the others, before beginning to walk towards the exit.

“Xander I’m fine, it’s fine,” I say, squirming, “put me down.”

“Stop talking sweetheart it’s going to hurt your head,” Xander replies planting another kiss on my forehead.

“Don’t drop me then,” I murmur helplessly, clinging to him even tighter.

“Even if my arms go numb there’s no way I’m letting you go,” he says.

I wince, “I was not built for rollercoasters.”

“No you weren’t my love,” Xander agrees softly.

I groan in response, the spinning getting progressively worse.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” he says as he tentatively strokes my cheek, “I didn’t think it’d make you feel this bad.”

“I did try to warn you,” I murmur leaning into his touch.

“I know I’m sorry,” he replies and I can hear the worry in his voice,

I fall back into his arms and close my eyes to relieve myself from the dizziness, “I don’t want you to miss out because of me,” I whisper, “I don’t want your day to be ruined because I can handle a stupid little rollercoaster.”

“I’m not missing out,” he reassures me, “I’ve got everything I could ever want bundled in my arms right now,”

“That was really cute,” I giggle, “and I’ll appreciate more when I’m not seeing stars.”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, real guilt thickening his tone.

I had only meant it as a joke but hearing that rawness in his voice made something in my heart twist. My mind paints the ashamed look in his kind eyes. I despise the thought.

“Don’t feel bad,” I say quickly.

He forces a chuckle, “I do feel bad.”

“You know how you can make it up to me?” I open my eyes, and see double of him, not that I mind. Two Xander’s aren’t so bad to look at.

“No ,” he frowns, “how?”

***

I curl up with my special edition shatter me novel, taking in each word. I know it’s going to be the best reread of my life. I can’t help but keep flicking back to admire the cover. It’s the most gorgeous thing I own.

Everything stopped spinning around an hour after I got off of that death trap and I can actually make out the words.

I feel his eyes on me, I always can. I look up with a grin and to no surprise I’m right. Xander’s standing there staring at me, a small smile lacing his lips. He looks at me like I’m worth more than each and every blueberry scone in the universe, which is a big compliment from him.

He walks over and sits down beside me and I notice two mugs in each of his hands. One is decadently topped with whip cream, chocolate shavings sprinkles and a whole world of other things and the other was plain. I think it was safe to say who’s was who’s. He passes me a the non-embellished steaming mug and I can’t help but smile, “worth it?” he asks me, eyebrows raised at the book.

“For my mental health,” I begin slowly, “no, for this book, absolutely.”

“You’re a little odd,” he shoots me a very Hawthorne grin, “has anyone ever told you that?”

I move closer to him, “I may have heard it here and there.”

“But that’s why I love you,” he whispers cupping my face in his hands.

“Good thing I love you too then,” I murmur with a little laugh as his lips crash into mine.

hey lovelies!! yes I am alive!!

sorry this isn’t a req fic and sorry it’s taken me so long to get another fic out, I’ve had loads of tests lately and a busy time in general. hopefully I’ll be able to write more regularly when it’s all done but for now unfortunately it’ll be a bit hit and miss, hope you can understand <33

TIG masterlist

[justsayinghiiexistlol]

Guys I did a thing….

(They are not that accurate BUT ITS NOY MY FAULT BECAUSE FUNKO HAS NOT THAT MANY OPTIONS ON COLOURS AND OUTFITS SO I TRIED MY BEST OKAY??😭)

(Also I added Tiramisu with Nash🤭 because she’s a cutie and deserves to be on here)

(Max and Avery are matching because they are besties obv)

(Also I only did the main 7 characters from the original trilogy so if your mad I didn’t do the other maybe I’ll do them later if I’m not lazy💀)

@therealgraysonhawthorne @the-eldest-yehawthorne @the-hawthorne-heiress @xanderlovesscones @jameson-hawthorne @gimmechocolatenow @gothic-cupcakemaster @motherfaxingmax

[your-mommy-ems]

the hawthorne boys

your honour i love them, im just a girl. (also the happy dancing i did when i found a gray and xander fc!!!! idk if i like the nash one but for now thats who he is :)))

@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle, @xo-zozo, @sweetreveriee

[riddles-n-games]

Here's a random list of headcanons to remind you that the TIG characters are human aka Not Their Finest Moments.

Avery gets up with frizzy hair and hates dealing with it so she usually braids it before bed.

Libby has made some bad bang decisions before like cutting them too short or trying the side layers.

Xander has been known to forget he has a thousand cables everywhere and trips over them on his way to the lab.

Grayson’s hair gets easily greasy so he has to wash it often.

Nash nicks his face several times when shaving.

Jameson is terrible at tongue-twisters.

Thea thinks she’s too much of a girl boss sometimes and decides to do a bold lip with a blouse on if she forgot to do makeup before getting dressed. Long story short: it doesn’t end well.

Max likes to pick at hangnails and often regrets it as she pulls too much skin.

Xander sometimes has too many scones in one sitting which leads to multiple trips to the bathroom in short succession.

Nash sometimes buys the wrong size hat but instead of returning it, he will stubbornly wear it until something wears it down.

Avery bites at her lip when she is feeling nervous or finicky and sometimes bites it at a weird angle that makes it hurt.

Libby loves slushies but forgets that she can’t handle them well so every summer, there’s too many incidences of brain freeze.

Jameson has long bangs so he has to swipe at them and in school he had to tie them back for labs.

Grayson forgets to keep his underwear and socks in better secured drawers which unfortunately means Tiramisu easily gets into them, leading to many mismatched socks and soggy boxers.

Max has had too many cases of accidentally closing the door with too much force after a fight with her parents.

Rebecca has gotten papercuts from books and gets real emotional at finding pages with dogears (except in school textbooks; chemistry can SUCK IT).

Avery is pretty good at opening jars but unfortunately there are times when she can't open it and is too stubborn to admit it so when Jameson takes it to open it, she mutters, "I could have done that." when he coyly smiles.

Jameson has the occasional days where he can actually sleep like a normal person and when he does, he sleeps in late and when the stupid alarm goes off, he may have missed the phone a few times and so it rings for hours on end until he wakes up.

While working on his bikes, Nash occasionally has the unsavory motor grease shooting out at him.

Grayson has stubbed his toes multiple times passing by certain tables and dressers in his room but refuses to move them because the current set up looks pErFeCT according to the stubborn man.

[jkriordanverse]

I need a The Naturals x Hawthorne truth or dare crossover so bad lmao

[hollowmossart]

todays old art redraw… i dont know what the original concept was?? all i know is martin was falling and I drew it around the end of tma? anyway. i COOKED. i love harsh lighting. this new version looks more.. desperate? whereas the old one looks a bit more serene. this is probably about a 3 year difference.

[thranduel]

if dean (tommen's actor) could play a lannister character with very little screentime that got killed off, and then re-cast as tommen who would end up being the literal KING of the seven kingdoms, then maybe, just, MAYBE we could get davos and aeron's actors back in bigger roles...

[wish-i-were-heather]

GOOD CHEMISTRY ⤵ XANDER HAWTHORNE X READER

ABOUT: 1685 words, no use of y/n

STORY: xander is assigned to be your lab partner for an assignment that neither of you really understand

WARNINGS: none!!

A/N: this is actually inspired by a real lab i did in my chem class bc my friend reminded me of xander. a lot of the dialogue is actual real dialogue we had lmao. so yeah fair warning that this isn't very well written just something i threw together for fun :) also i dont understand chemistry at all so sorry if anything's incorrect

“Alright, you may begin.”

You were standing alone in the corner of your science classroom. Your teacher said she was going to randomly assign partners for the lab. But there was an odd number of people, so you were left alone. 

You looked around a bit to make sure there wasn’t anyone else who didn’t have a lab partner before walking to the front of the class.

“Uh, Mrs. Watson?” You asked. She looked up from her computer with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes?”

You cleared your throat. “I don’t have a partner.”

She frowned, standing up from her desk and looking over the classroom. “Oh, that’s my mistake. We’re missing a student today, I marked that in attendance. I didn’t realize that when giving partners. My apologies.” She pointed at a pair working at the table in the back corner. “Can I ask you to go join-”

“I’m here!”

The door slammed open and hit the wall with a loud bang! Everyone’s heads turned, and the class went silent. But they all went back to their work when they saw who it was.

“You’re late, Mr. Hawthorne,” Mrs. Watson sighed. “Again.”

Xander’s backpack was slung hastily over one shoulder. He closed the classroom door and nodded. “Yup! Third time this week. But, in my defense-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” She pointed at you. “Your partner will tell you what we’re doing. Get to work.”

He nodded again, turning to you and offering a wide smile. 

“So… that empty table in the back?”

~~~

Five minutes later, you had everything set up. There were strangely colored chemicals in different tubes, and you were both wearing the aprons and goggles that you were required to.

You looked down and frowned. The aprons themselves were ugly, plus the goggles. You weren’t wearing them, and you really didn’t want to. Part of you wondered if getting burned by a chemical was all that bad after all.

But you kept it on.

With a sigh, you slipped on the goggles and looked up at Xander. He was finishing tying the back of his apron too, and for a moment you just watched him.

His dark hair was tousled, like he hadn’t had time to brush it that morning. You could see just beneath the atrocious apron that he was wearing, that the tie of his school uniform was loosely askew. His tongue was poking slightly out of his mouth in focus as he finished tying the back.

When he finished, Xander’s eyes wandered from the supplies on the table before meeting hours. But at first, neither of you said anything.

You decided to break the silence.

“Nice eyebrow.”

“Thanks,” He grinned. “Grew it myself.”

“And the other?” You asked.

“I was left unattended.”

“Figures.”

Xander motioned towards all the stuff on the table. Tubes, flasks, off-looking liquids. You didn’t know what you were supposed to be doing with any of it. You’d stayed up late writing an entire essay, so you were running on little sleep

Apparently, there was a reason you were given three weeks to write it instead of two hours. 

“So what are we doing?” He asked. 

“Honestly, I have zero idea,” you told him. “I wasn’t paying any attention.”

“Oh, well, I wasn’t here, so I couldn’t have been paying attention. This is kinda all on you.”

You stepped up to the table and picked up the instructions Mrs. Watson passed out that you hadn’t bothered to read. But reading them over, you realized you didn’t understand any of it.

“This is all, like, fancy chemistry stuff,” you said.

Xander took the paper from you. “Let me see that.” He looked it over for a minute, reading fairly quickly for the amount of small text that was on the paper. 

You studied his expression. “Should we ask for help?”

“No-” Xander snapped immediately. “She doesn’t like me.”

“I mean, you are always late.”

“But I am an excellent student!” He insisted as he put down the paper. “She just doesn’t know how to appreciate my gifts.”

“Did you gift her your eyebrow or something?” 

He stuck out his tongue at you. “Do you want me to help you finish this lab or not?”

“Fine, fine,” you said, unable to stop the corner of your lips from turning up. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“It’s simple, really,” Xander said, finally letting his tone drop to more serious as he turned to the table. “We’ve gotta take the pH measurements of each of the four liquids, and then mix them together to see if it’ll raise or lower the pH levels.”

You stared at him. “Huh?”

He sighed. “Just open your notebook. We have to hypothesize.”

You did what he said and opened your notebook. Rereading the instruction paper, it said you had to guess what happened when you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide.

“Is that gonna raise or lower the pH, Xander?” You asked without looking up from your paper.

“Raise,” he answered. “More of a base.”

Silence fell between the two of you again as you finished writing your hypotheses. You were pretty sure that yours was absolute nonsense, but at least you had something written. 

“Okay, thanks,” you said. Xander took both your and his papers and set them aside. “I’m not necessarily bad at chemistry. I’m just a bit… scientifically challenged.”

“Is that so? That just means I get to teach you. How exciting”

“That’s only half terrifying coming from you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He shrugged. “So, let’s start before Mrs. Watson decides to get mad at me again.”

~~

You quickly learned that “scientifically challenged” was actually a lie. You were, in fact, very bad at chemistry. 

pH scales made no sense. Xander had to do all of the measuring, while you just wrote down whatever number and color he gave you. The first was red, the second was a blueish-purple, the third was yellow, and the last was a greenish-blue. You promptly forgot the names of all of them the moment after he’d read them to you, but it was fine. As long as you wrote down the data and got the work done.

Xander smiled at you again, the corners of his eyes wrinkling behind the big goggles. He put his hand up in the air. “High five?”

“We’re not done yet.”

“Okay, but we did the first part. HIgh five me.”

You gave in. 

“Alright,” Xander clapped his hands together. “Next step. Mix them together.”

You practically jumped up. “Oooh, can I pour it in?” 

“The erlenmeyer flask, yeah.”

“Who’s Meyer?”

He sighed and pointed at the empty flask in the middle of the table. “Pour them both in there.”

“Oh, okay, got it.” You reached for the first tube with a white liquid and poured it into the flask. You then did the same for the pink one next to it. “Can I drink this?” You joked as you poured it in.

“No, you may not.”

You poured them in quickly and waited. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on who you asked, there was no big explosion. Xander stepped forward again and measured the pH. 

“Eight,” he explained. “They almost neutralize each other. Key word almost.”

You nodded and the both of you returned to your papers. “So,” you asked. “What do I write in this box?”

He stared at you. “The box that asks for the color?”

“Mhm.”

“You put the color.”

“So… pink?”

Xander rolled his eyes, but he had a smile on his face. “Are you doing this on purpose?” 

“Perhaps.” You got to write the word pink in the box that asked for the final color of the liquid, and then number seven for the pH number.

“Perhaps,” He teased under his breath, putting on a very bad British accent.

You looked up from your work. “Are you bullying me?”

Xander gasped. “No, of course not. I love British people. My brother is half British.”

“What?” You exclaimed. “Who? Which one?”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter, we need to finish the lab.”

“I’m trying, but I don’t understand,” you sighed, deciding to ask him about his family lineage later.

“Have you ever seen Breaking Bad?”

You frowned, that was the most random question. “No.”

“Hm. You learn a lot about chemistry from it. I did.”

“I probably wouldn’t retain any of it.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You’re right.”

You nodded and turned back to both of your papers to work on writing the conclusion, whether or not your hypothesis was correct. Then you realized what he’d just said- that you wouldn’t retain anything. 

“Wait, what?”

~~

The bell rang just as Xander handed you his paper, and you went to turn both of yours into the basket at the front of the class. “Thanks,” he said when you returned, slipping his backpack over his shoulder.

“Thank you, actually. I probably would’ve failed if you weren’t my partner.” You laughed. 

“Maybe this is your sign to actually pay attention.”

“Maybe this is your sign to show up on time.”

He shrugged. “Why would I do that? I kinda liked working with you.”

“Only kinda?” You teased.

“Sorry, I meant to say I’m obsessed with you and we have to do every single lab together for the rest of time or I will pass away,” Xander said, putting his hands on his chest dramatically. 

You rolled your eyes at him, just like he had before. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late for next period.”

“I’m always late,” he shrugged. 

You grabbed his wrist and began to walk towards the door. You were the last ones in the class, even the teacher was in a different teacher’s room talking to them. “Yeah, I’m trying to fix that. Let’s go.”

“We don’t even have the same next period.”

“I don’t care, we’re leaving now,” you insisted. Xander sighed reluctantly.

“Yes ma’am,” he muttered sarcastically.

But that grin never left his face.

the writing above belongs to me. please do not copy, modify, repost on other sites or claim as your own. © 2024 wish-i-were-heather

TAGS: (honestly im just gonna keep them down here because it makes the top part look more clean) @littlemissmentallyunstable @gretag13 @lanterns-and-daydreams @whatsamongus @alwaysthefangirl

@emelia07 @f4iry-bell @low-caloriesmonsterultra @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @maybxlle

@xoxo-vee @elysianwayy77 @midiosaamor @sheisntyou - lmk if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist!!

[inmyheaddd]

hello ! could you write some headcanons for what xander would be like as a boyfriend ? :0 thank you !!

boyfriend xander hawthorne headcannons

thankyou for the req!! i love writing for xander sm, he’s so 💖 wc: 980

dating xander felt like living through a 2000s romcom, or like reading those books you’d read in middle school, wishing you could have a love like the books. he was perfect all around.

when you guys are apart for long, he sends flowers along with a letter to you every time without fail. they’ll sometimes be short, saying how much he misses you, or they’ll be pages long.

you guys are that couple at school, the one everyone wants for themselves or either wants to be. your relationship isnt secret, it’s private. everyone knows you’re together and literally in love, but it’s not like you parade it around, kissing in the hallways. 

xander doesn’t shy away from PDA.

he's quite tall, so forehead kisses are very frequent. 

quick pecks are also good with him, whatever you’re comfortable with, he is too.

if you’re not one for PDA, he totally respects that, and just loves you 10x extra in private. 

he’s always buzzing with energy, so he often finds himself fiddling with your fingers, tracing patterns on your arm, or playing with your hair. 

his love language is everything!!

your friends and parents say you started to talk like xander.

you didn’t believe it yourself until you caught yourself rambling on about a food you love, not once stopping for breath.

speaking of your parents, xander tries to act more responsible in front of them, and it kills you.

the second they leave, you’re a laughing mess.

“did you call my dad sir?”

“yes..?”

the way you’re the only person in the world who could ever make xander speechless, or at a loss for words.

one time, you guys had a fight, as all couples do, about something so stupid you barely even remember. all you know is you regret it.

what happened after it, though, you’ll never forget. he literally threw rocks at your window and stood outside with a boombox playing songs from your joint playlists. your parents and siblings were out of the house, thank god, because you’d never be able to live that one down. 

you went — no, you sprinted down the stairs and to the backyard where he was standing—and shouted atop the music, “what are you doing!?” 

as you neared him, you noticed a big poster on the floor that said, “i’m sorry!!” 

you also noticed the music was literally murdering your eardrums. when you were in front of him, he turned it off and lowered the boom box on the floor. 

“xander, what are you doing here.” you cross your arms over your chest and look up at him.

“i’m sorry, i’m an idiot, i don’t know what’s wrong with me, when it comes to you, all i want to do is the right thing, but sometimes it comes out in weird ways and they do the opposite of what i actually intended,” he continues talking, but if you’re being honest, you tuned it out. you noticed he was nervous, and all you wanted was to make it go away.

in the middle of his rambling, you just hugged him. he immediately stopped talking, and his arms were stuck to his sides for a split second. when he realized what was happening, he hugged you back as tight as ever.

“i love you so much, i never want to fight again,” you mumbled into his shoulder.

“i love you.” he kissed the top of your head, and you fell into a comfortable silence, saying all the words you couldn’t say yourself. you stayed hugging for another minute or so, swaying side to side a little.

that was until your arms started cramping and you both started laughing about it as you walked to your room, the fight long forgotten.

xander is such a cuddler!!

you’ll fall asleep with your head on his chest and wake up in a random position. usually with his arm around your waist bringing you closer, and his head nuzzled in your neck. sometimes, he even manages to sleep horizontally across the large bed. 

he’s gotten so used to sleeping in the same bed as you that when you’re not there, he can’t sleep for hours. 

same goes for you; you pretend your pillows are xander and cuddle with them instead.

dates with xander are always something fun. on your first date, he bought out a theme park for the day, and you spent the day there. the automatic pictures they take on the rollercoasters are displayed in both of your rooms. he once said they were his most prized possessions, after you. 

“not that you’re my possession; of course, you’re your own person, and you’re an independent woman, if anything i’m your possession, you’re the boss - you’re the bomb dot com!”

he crouches down to kiss you if you can’t reach him, that, or he picks you up. 

one time your friends asked you what time it is, and you immediately looked to xander. “don’t say it,” you already knew what he was about to say. “well how can i not say it?”

“xander…” 

“guys i’m only asking for the tim-“ your friend begins to speak, only to be cut off by the phrase you were hoping your boyfriend wouldn't say.

“-it’s time to get a watch!” xander started laughing at his own joke while you and your friend just stood there, before joining in on his laughter, mostly because it was so unfunny that it was funny.

later on in the day, you were hanging out in xander's room, sitting on his bed, when you reminded him of his joke earlier.

“you’re so corny,” you say as you playfully hit his shoulder.

“you’re the farmer to my corn,” he points at your shoulder back, with a grin split across his face.

when you don’t respond and just look at him blankly, because you’re about to burst into laughter, he continues: 

“what? no? you’re the peanut butter to my jelly? you’re the apple of my eye? you’re the “she” to my “nanigans?””

“oh my god,” you start giggling like a madwoman and lay your head across his lap. “i can’t with you,”

“oh, but you so can.”

[astraeajackson]

okay i know thea sacrificed our girl avery and almost got her killed but you cannot deny that this exchange was pure gold like LOOK at the amount of SASS she POSSESSED in this conversation ✨

point thea fr