#blackout poetry? maybe? technically?

[charishcherish]

The Secret History art [digital, because Henry would be aesthetically opposed to it] based on one of Richard’s dreams. 2nd version without the text and pages that describe the dream (where I got text from) under the cut. 🍀 lucky four leaf clover so tumblr doesn’t chew up and spit out image quality.

^ stuff boxed in the green, specifically.

And a song that I listened to while drawing this.

[infinite-orangepeel]

15 questions, 15 people

tagged by @hey-rowan, @asbealthgn, @spectrum-spectre (thanks for tagging me, my friends💗)

1. Are you named after anyone?

technically yes ! my parents loved marisa tomei in my cousin vinny. they just decided to add an extra ‘s’ to my name and named me ‘marissa.’

2. When was the last time you cried?

a few days ago. reading the line about steve waiting by the ferris wheel 🎡 from @azrielgreen’s fic, blackout days (fairground nights). i balled my eyes out and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

3. Do you have kids?

not yet, but maybe one day. i currently work with two toddlers and often feel like they’re my own bc of how much time i spend with them lol.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

absolutely and i affectionately blame my mother for it <3 she’s the most sarcastic person i know.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

probably piercings or tattoos ! i have 9 piercings myself but no tattoos yet (thought i’m planning some rn). so i feel like i’m always checking out other peoples for ideas and i love hearing the stories behind peoples tattoos.

6. What's your eye color?

chocolate button brown (iykyk)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

if it’s a fic, im choosing dark, fucked up, unhinged, angsty WITH a happy ending (happy ending is a must for me). if it’s a movie, i can go either way but horror is one of my top genres for sure.

8. Any special talents?

being insanely gorgeous, intelligent, and hilarious at the same time (joking, joking, don’t take that seriously omg). real answer: i can fold my tongue into a three leaf clover and i have a strangely strong memory when it comes to remembering names, faces, and usernames lol.

9. Where were you born?

los angeles, california

10. What are your hobbies?

drooling over steve harrington, writing steddie fics and my own poetry, reading the queerest literature on the market, yearning for irl requited love, contemplating my career choices, selling vintage clothing, crying to the tune of other peoples steddie fics, thrifting, cooking with an excessive amount of hot chili oil, wandering around trader joe’s, yoga, and hiking :)

11. Do you have any pets?

yes ! two dogs (one has no teeth and the other is chaos incarnate) that i adore. and a 150 gallon aquarium with a zillion salt water fish (okay, like thirty and my fave is the cowfish, look it up its adorable).

12. What sports do you play/have played?

i’m an olympic medalist in crying over steddie like they’re real people…(i did gymnastics for 12 years, ran track for 5, and now, i stay active by going to my local gym and doing yoga/weight lifting)

13. How tall are you?

5’0” and everyone in my life reminds me of it constantly

14. Favorite subject in school?

english and history, always

15. Dream job?

joe keery’s professional girlfriend….or a writer that makes money !! a money making writer that creates and gets paid for it. yes. i’d give an arm and a leg to write for a cool mag, online zine, or to be a published author !

taglist (and as always, no pressure and sorry if you’ve already been tagged !): @madigoround, @auwuli, @edmunsn, @corneliuswatkins, @stevesbipanic, @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx, @bmodiwrites, @java-jay, @thorniest-rose, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @falloutkeiji, @sinclairisms, @veestrikesback, @djostface, @punkharringtxn

[sunnixsunshine]

Spy HCs incoming

• Has restless leg syndrome.

• Bisexual. He didn't learn what bisexuality was until he joined the team though. He always knew he was attracted to both genders, just didn't know the word for it. Thankfully, Scout has a big mouth and Engineer is full of wisdom.

• Knows ballet and various ballroom dances.

• But absolutely cannot dance under pressure. If you ask him to dance he will attempt to make it as perfect as can be, which results in him stepping on his partner's foot or tripping up.

• Really good at impersonating Demoman's accent.

• And when I mean really good, I mean absolutely awful. He tries not to talk when disguised as Demo, or at least tries to act drunk and slurs a lot. It gets him through at least.

• Absolutely fucking loves dogs. He had a dog hair allergy when he was younger but he grew out of it thankfully. Now he can secretly pet all the dogs he wants to.

• His favorite breed is the Basset Hound. He can't resist those big ol' ears!

• Wait no correction; he likes Corgies.

• SCHNAUZERS.

• NO— he loves all dogs equally. Dont make him choose.

• Fucking loves chocolate. Like anything chocolate. Especially chocolate strawberries.

• Fluent not only in French and English but also Italian, Portuguese, and whatever weird lingo you want to call Scout's.

• Really wants to cracks the fuck out of Engineer's silly "yeehaw language" as well as Sniper's "Kangaroo speak".

• Once walked out of his room without his mask, and long story short thats how Heavy figured out he's Scout's dad.

• A baking GOD.

• I'm talkin' bread and cake from scratch. Fuckin delicious ass biscuits. Motherfuckin' pancakes and crepes out the goddamn wazoo. Cookies? OH FUCK YEAH YOU BETTER BET HE MAKES THOSE DAMN BITCHES.

• But absolutely DO NOT disturb him while baking! His nerves will run wild and he'll end up ruining it.

• Sleep walks if he goes to bed in a sour mood— which isn't uncommon.

• Thinks hes good at poetry but in reality he sucks at it.

• He no longer has an existing relationship with Scout's mother. They broke it off because the struggle of a long distance relationship was hard to maintain for them both. It didnt end pretty, but it didn't end in a disaster either. There was a lot of guilt and sorrow on both ends. Even some tears.

• Their relationship at least lasted six years after he left the family though.

• A real sucker for romantic novels or movies. Will cry but will not admit it.

• Hopeless romantic; emphasis on the hopeless part.

• Has secret hang outs with Sniper. They mostly drink or smoke together, sometimes talk about personal things.

• Spy outright told Sniper he knew Scout is his son. And he was sober too. He made Sniper swear on his life that he would not tell him, that HE would be the one to tell Scout and no one else.

• Spy WANTS to be a good father. He just doesn't know how. He lost his own father at age six and grew up with an awful uncle that despised him. No other positive male role model whatsoever.

• When he got the news that he was going to be a father, his first thought was "I can't do this" but when his son was born, placed into his arms, he thought "Maybe I can".

• It wasnt until his spy life caught up to him that he had to leave. He had the choice to have a domestic life on the side, but he had enemies that knew his face. Knew many of his aliases and his real name. He couldn't risk nine innocent lives just to play the suburban dad role.

• He named Scout Jeremy after his father. His second greatest achievement as a father, he claims; giving his son a worthy name.

• Blackout drunk. Also exclusively slurs in French. He just forgets what English is.

• Once he asked Demo to marry him. They were both severely drunk. Demo said yes— after Medic translated. Soldier is unsurprisingly a marriage officiant.

• So technically speaking, Demo and Spy are legally married.

• Now everyone calls Spy "Mr. DeGroot" and neither he nor Demo understand why.

• Even The Administrator calls him Mr. DeGroot on occasion.

[dickslappy]

I want to finish a srory idea. I want to start by writing One Whole Story.

I'm nearly finished with one of the biggest projects I've ever done. I just have to print out and bind together two mor books worth of pages and then ship all the (5 now, tho technically 6 total; but the first is already finished, bound, and shipped) poetry books out. It's really invigorating. Maybe I can ride this wave of energy that came from finishing my blackout poetry books.

And if it doesn't last long enough, maybe I can set new, smaller art goals to achieve to bring myself back to this place where I've succeeded in finishing something and I just want to keep going, keep creating.

I have an Idea for a story that I really like. A daydream actually resolved into something interesting. I want to finish it

[vancilocs]

31-47 for ninida, lazlo(was it lazlo, call me out of i wrote it wrong) aand max?

add an s and make it laszlo and you’re golden! (it’s actually laszlowaria but ain’t nobody got time for that)

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Ninida drinks somewhat, not much, rarely to the point of being hammered but tipsy maybe once a week or so. He’s a lot more jovial and affectionate when drunk, likes hugs, will pet your hair if you have it, laughs and is just a general good sport. Complete opposite when hungover, just leave him into his blanket burrito to recover. Will growl if someone comes too close. Kinda exasperated if people are drunk or hungover around him, complains about it, but if it’s a friend he’ll help in whatever way needed.

Laszlo can drink you under the table, he’s a regular in a local bar when not on duty and has a pocket flask for when he is. Never hammered during working hours but a little tipsy maybe, only blackout drunk if knows he has no duties. Even more out of it when drunk, somehow falls off the floor. His stories have no end, rambles in circles until he passes out, stories may or may not be true at all. Quietly looks after drunk and hungover people by making sure they aren’t in immediate danger, otherwise stays out of it.

Max can drink more than you’d think, she’s short but also has a pretty good resistance… might have drank a tad too much at parties when she was younger. Very rarely gets drunk anymore. Louder and more emotional in every way when drunk, laughs one second, cries the next, gets angry immediately. A mother hen when others get drunk, as a bartender she’s pretty good at spotting when people have had too much.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Ninida doesn’t care about makeup or fashion, just skincare sometimes and the functionality of the clothes (as long as he can show his arms). Lots of pockets, a bulletproof vest under the hoodie. Gloves are cosmetic. Sleeps with sweatpants or underwear on.

Laszlo is colourblind and mostly wears black, puts comfort and functionality over looks, but with a thotty twist. His hair he keeps just long enough to tie up, otherwise his nose and medusa piercings are the most he’s done for his looks. He mainly wears the catsuit given by his boss, otherwise it’s capri pants and t-shirts that don’t get stuck on his shin and forearm spikes. Sleeps with a t-shirt and underwear.

Max takes clothing very seriously, orders mainly online from specific goth brands that carry her size, has outfits planned. Makeup is a second job to her and barely ever steps out the house without it, also makes sure her hair is in ship-shape. Very looks-oriented.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Just… boxers, comfy

Boxers mainly, sometimes backwards, sometimes he forgets

Comfy panties, cute to give confidence but nothing that chafes, she’s on her feet a lot as bartender. Has a bunch of lacy ones for sure.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

He’s typical for a nedian, some 172 cm maybe, slim, a bit less muscular than many others but not too bad of a twink. He’s okay with how he looks, women are the more beefy ones anyways

Around 180 cm, a little over maybe, thicc as a tree trunk. Typical strong arms and thighs for climbing but also some belly fat and love handles to spare. Just an absolute unit and he’s pleased with that

Max is short, some 155 cm and fat. She’s lost a little weight with a diet change to homecooked scheduled meals, but she’s still fat, and she’s completely fine with this and looks bomb as hell

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

He doesn’t really feel guilty about the things he does for fun, doesn’t feel the need to. Though in the end cheating on his wife dipped from “guilty pleasure” to “complete douchebaggery”

He doesn’t have enough braincells to feel guilty, dude was a police officer corrupt as they can be once upon a time. Maybe drinking on the job is a bit of a guilty pleasure but hey, he’s got good tolerance and not enough booze in his flask to get him too messed up.

Buying new makeup and clothes can be a bit of a guilty pleasure, but she neeeeds them. Using them and making herself look glam is something she feels no guilt about though, yes she might look a lil over the top but so what? It’s her style and she likes it

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Can design and build guns like the best of ‘em, it’s a hobby and a job, as well as testing the guns out at a firing range. Can’t sing at goddamn all

An excellent marksman and slick as hell, can talk himself out of pretty much any problem. Knows where to find a connection and how to utilize it to end up on top. On his free time he likes to play cards, hang out in a bar, snoop around casually, maybe find someone to share his bed for the night, who knows. Not a singer.

She’s got great style and impeccable makeup skills, somewhat artistic too but those are just some flower doodles. Enjoys making videos and makeup tutorials, cooking, hanging out with friends. Can hold a tune but mainly just hums.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

He can pour over technical manuals, likes comics, longer novels get boring. A pretty fast reader though, has no interest in poetry.

A bit of a slow reader and prefers bigger text for his eyesight, has a hard time concentrating on longer text so he doesn’t really read books. Alternatively he does enjoy poetry and comics since there’s less to read.

Enjoys reading, usually fiction, crime novels and horror, sometimes romance. Enjoys poetry a lot, especially of the gothic kind.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Admires tenacity and skill, never giving up despite struggles is inspiring. Wishes he could demand respect and earn it in a way people like Mhairi do, he feels like a bit of a little fish still (esp. compared to dad)

He can respect honesty, positivity and tenacity, even if it’s someone trying to catch him. Also appreciates patience because he knows he can be a bit of a mess. Being able to focus better would be nice.

Max appreciates honesty and open-mindedness, you can be blunt with your honesty, just don’t be mean, and be open to other views and facts than your own. She’s always looking to improve, if anything specific then just not being so hot-headed herself

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

Texts and emails are so much easier.

He won’t remember what he wrote on a letter so messages and emails work best

Loves an old-fashioned wax-sealed love letter as much as any dramatic hoe but obviously texts and emails work the best

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Too much soda and energy drinks, a caffeine fiend. Could probably stay up without if the weather is warm but still drinks his Red Bull

Mostly drinks alcohol or just water, he stays up long whiles with no help.

Likes her coffee, but mainly just a cup in the morning and an extravagant Starbucks drink during the day, maybe one in the evening. Might have something sweet during shifts at the bar, just for a little kick.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Hetero/demisexual, primarily an ass man, but a tight bod in general is a sight to see. Hair is nice to touch. Mentally likes tough women who know what they want and know to demand it, likes brains as much as butts. Needs affection and love and dedication, he’s serious about this shit

Bisexual, doesn’t really have a preference, maybe leans more towards thicc guys and gals, prefers a chubby belly over washboard abs. Mentally just be interesting, keep his attention, share views, not super into uptight nerdy scholar types. Needs attention, love and for the other one to take initiative for him to show love back, for now kinda casual about relationships because he tends to go too serious too quick and end up hurt

Bisexual, likes tough girls and cute boys, chubby people, stronk and soft, sparkly like she is, similar views and attitudes, not interested in super shy and quiet people who don’t like going out or don’t hype her up.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

His main goal is to blow up beat Vim in the market, his feelings are hurt and feels like his old man’s time has passed, no familial feelings anymore after the stunt Vim pulled, now it’s just rivalry. Kinda sacrificed a relationship to have the family he wanted, too.

Right now he’s just seeing if this sticks, so far he’s enjoyed captaining the Vandal and maybe even dipping his toesies back into corrupting law enforcement… this time being the one corrupting, not the one corrupted

Her ambitions are to make the makeup channel a full-time job and quit bartending, can eventually do that and make bank from being an influencer while also being a mom.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Not religious really, just tiny remnants of the kind of voodoo-type religion most common in where he’s from. Biggest thing religion-wise are the beads he got from his mom he keeps in his pocket, it’s more sentimental than that he actually believes in higher powers. Has no opinion about believers or non-believers unless they try to tell him how to think in which case he gets pissed

His people are generally atheistic, not religious at all himself, kinda finds it odd. But it’s none of his business, just keep it to yourself thank you. Will listen to stories though.

Not particularly religious, wears some religious stuff as part of her style but doesn’t really follow anything herself. Keep it to yourself.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Summer, he thrives in warm and humid. Active and happy during warm months. Hates the cold, gets drowsy, outside gets janky and eventually freezes entirely. Whines about cold.

Used to mild, medium weather, very dry, was baffled about rain and clouds. Appreciates the lack of dust outside his homeland. Summer tends to get hot, winter is too cold, not a fan of snow, likes rain. Likes fall.

Loves the fall, pumpkin spice, Halloween, spooky times. Manages heat well, hates sleet and snow but has good jackets to stay warm. Now if just her boots wouldn’t get so dirty.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Depends greatly, he might be a whiny brat to some, a genius to some. He has been knocked down enough pegs to make him a bit humbler than he’d be otherwise, but he’s still an eager little man trying to become something great at any cost

He’s very much not welcome in his homeland, kind of an outsider everywhere else, his people aren’t so often seen. He’s just chilling and he has his talents, he’s a bit of an enigma to others, a horrible criminal to some and a disaster to his crew

Some may think she’s just a fat bitch, those are people she hasn’t allowed to bully her, others think she’s a role model. She’s a great friend and a mom, too.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

He’s a bit awkward but he’s that in general, got more gun skills than people skills, which is pretty noticeable. He’ll shake your hand and say his name and what ship he’s from.

There’s something off, the handshake is firm but he might just forget to actually say his name or what ship he captains/who he works for, in general he seems… capable? If a bit scatterbrained.

Shakes your hand, smiles, introduces herself, she immediately feels like a pleasant person.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Doesn’t feel at all home in fancier events, doesn’t like dressing up formally, even if nedians don’t do black ties. Avoids fancy chitchat and events and maybe just raids the snack bar and bails.

Pretty at home actually, doesn’t particularly like formal wear but he’s used to wearing it, slips out from one conversation and into another without internalizing any of it or adding anything of substance. Gets tipsy and eats a bunch, just wanders around, gets stuck staring at a curtain for half an hour,

Likes dressing up but prefers a bit more casual parties, like dinners, not as formal. Loves to talk and have a drink and compliment ladies on their clothes.

[booksaresacredspew]

Wordspew 20190101

Hanging at B&N with a friend today, the first day of a new year!!! Ugh, so many exclamation points. Last night we got a little drunk, watched some movies, and played Cards against Humanity. Today I got to sleep in but then got called into work because the extra help they hired didn’t show up and I was needed.

It was annoying, but it felt good to be needed? and appreciated. I definitely felt appreciated, though we left late because there was a huge pileup of dishes when I got there, since I didn’t get there until 12:30.

Plans. I want to finish the fic I was working on last week. I wanted to post it for the coco locos fluff-off, but the deadline was last night and I wasn’t going to have it finished without a lot of stress, and I felt like I was not doing the idea justice with the rushing, so I decided to let it rest and not worry about it. It feels like a good decision since I feel very relaxed about it now. But even though I’m not submitting it for the contest, I still want to write the thing. So there’s that.

Also a plan I had for this month - writing a paper for myself. Because research papers are hard, and I hate them, so I’m going to write one for practice to get better at them, so it’s easier when I eventually do go back to school. The topic I picked is politics, because I need a reason to actually educate myself on issues and form opinions so that one of these days I might actually go out and vote on something. I started out saying I’d start this project the day after Christmas, but it’s been a busy week so we’re going to start tomorrow instead.

loose schedule for this is about 5 weeks? A lot, but I do have other things to do and I want to keep it relaxed for this first one. Low pressure, just good practice. First week is just drumming up a bunch of sources on the topic, making preliminary bibliography. Next 2 weeks is taking notes on those sources and making an outline. last two weeks are writing. Good plan. I hope I’ll be able to keep to it. It’s just starting that’s the scary part.

Want to write to Grandma more often. I wrote her a letter on Christmas day, sent it a few days later, but it came back a few days after that with a post it note saying it needed another stamp, I guess because it was pretty heavy for a regular envelope, but I did put another on and post it a couple of days later. So she should get it soon. But maybe I could make it a regular thing again, that would be nice.

Jessi and I were making blackout poetry just now, that was fun. I want to do that more. REAding. Shit, I have so many books on my reading list. But first I think is the Hobbit, I want to finish that one finally. It’s technically the second time I’ve read it, but the first time was in middle school and I wanted to refresh myself. But for one reason or another, the second time around it’s taken me a couple of years to get this far. Mostly because I just put the book in my bag and then read fanfic instead, so I don’t read any of the Hobbit for months and months at a time.

So for tonight: finish reading the fic I was reading this morning. Do a little bit of preliminary research for paper. Read more fic, go to bed. Go home at some point in there. Preferably be in bed by 10:30.