#black pepper bulk

[qualitexglobal]

The Secret to Fresh and Crisp Mung Bean Sprouts

Mung bean sprouts are a staple in many cuisines around the world, known for their fresh, crisp texture and numerous health benefits. They are a versatile ingredient that can enhance salads, stir-fries, soups, and even sandwiches. Despite their simplicity, achieving the perfect, fresh, and crisp mung bean sprouts requires some knowledge and careful attention to detail. In this article, we'll uncover the secrets to growing and maintaining the freshest mung bean sprouts, ensuring they remain a delicious and nutritious addition to your meals.

The Benefits of Mung Bean Sprouts

Before diving into the secrets of growing mung bean sprouts, it's essential to understand why they are so valued in the culinary and health worlds. Mung bean sprouts are:

Nutrient-Dense: Packed with vitamins A, C, and K, along with essential minerals like iron, magnesium, and calcium.

Low in Calories: An excellent addition to any diet, providing essential nutrients without adding excessive calories.

High in Fiber: Aid in digestion and promote a feeling of fullness.

Rich in Antioxidants: Help combat oxidative stress and support overall health.

Growing Fresh and Crisp Mung Bean Sprouts at Home

Step 1: Selecting Quality Mung Beans

The first step to ensuring fresh and crisp sprouts is starting with high-quality mung beans. Look for organic, non-GMO mung beans from a reputable supplier. Quality seeds are more likely to germinate evenly and produce robust sprouts.

Step 2: Preparing the Mung Beans

Rinse: Thoroughly rinse the mung beans under cool water to remove any debris or dust.

Soak: Place the mung beans in a large bowl and cover them with water. Allow them to soak for 8-12 hours or overnight. This step is crucial as it kickstarts the germination process.

Step 3: Draining and Rinsing

After soaking, drain the mung beans and rinse them well. Transfer the beans to a sprouting jar or a simple glass jar covered with a mesh or cloth secured with a rubber band. Ensure the container allows for good drainage and airflow.

Step 4: Sprouting Process

Initial Drain: After the initial rinse, drain the beans completely. Leaving excess water can lead to mold growth.

Rinsing Cycle: Rinse and drain the beans at least twice a day. This keeps them hydrated and clean, promoting healthy sprout growth.

Environment: Keep the sprouting jar in a dark, cool place. Direct sunlight can cause the sprouts to turn green and bitter.

Step 5: Harvesting the Sprouts

Within 4-6 days, you should have fresh, crisp mung bean sprouts. Harvest them once they reach the desired length, usually around 1-2 inches. Rinse the sprouts one final time and allow them to drain completely.

Step 6: Storing the Sprouts

To maintain their freshness and crispness, store the mung bean sprouts in an airtight container in the refrigerator. They can stay fresh for up to a week, but it's best to consume them within a few days for optimal taste and texture.

Tips for Perfect Mung Bean Sprouts

Consistent Rinsing: Regular rinsing is crucial to prevent the growth of mold and bacteria. Make sure to rinse the sprouts at least twice a day.

Proper Drainage: After each rinse, ensure the sprouts are well-drained to avoid sogginess and spoilage.

Ideal Environment: Sprouts thrive in a cool, dark environment. Avoid exposure to direct sunlight to maintain their crisp texture and prevent bitterness.

Monitor Growth: Keep an eye on the sprouts as they grow. Harvest them once they reach the desired length to ensure they remain tender and fresh.

Incorporating Mung Bean Sprouts into Your Diet

Mung bean sprouts are incredibly versatile and can be used in various dishes:

Salads: Add a handful of fresh sprouts to salads for extra crunch and nutrition.

Stir-Fries: Toss them into stir-fries at the last minute to maintain their crisp texture.

Soups: Use mung bean sprouts as a topping for soups and stews for added freshness.

Sandwiches: Layer sprouts in sandwiches and wraps for a healthy, crunchy element.

Conclusion

Growing fresh and crisp mung bean sprouts at home is a rewarding process that can significantly enhance your culinary creations. By following these simple steps and tips, you can enjoy the numerous health benefits and delightful crunch of mung bean sprouts. Embrace the journey from seed to sprout and savor the freshness that these tiny powerhouses bring to your diet. With Qualitex Global's high-quality mung beans, you'll be well on your way to mastering the art of sprouting.

[mammasaale]

Manufacturer of Spices

We are a spices manufacturer at Mam Masaale, which offers organic and inorganic species products like Grounded Spices, Blended Spices, Seeds Spices, Whole Spices premium highest quality products.

[wannabe-skinni-qween]

111 4n4 tips!!!

leaving dirty dishes around makes people think you ate

taking cold showers burns more calories

using a smaller plate/bowl makes you feel like you ate more

eating protein burns more calories

leave the kitchen after eating so that you aren't tempted to eat more

sleeping burns calories and makes you less hungry

reward yourself when you do good, but never use food as a reward

fiber keeps you fuller for longer and helps your digestive system

hot water fills you up more

cold water burns more calories

never break a fast with a big meal

don't dispose of food in your own bin

leave empty food wrappers around to make people think you ate

distract yourself for 30 minutes after eating so you don't go back for more

keep thinspo with you wherever you go

cut a ribbon the size you want your waist to be. when temped to eat, wrap it around your waist to see how close you are

keep trigger foods out of the house

cut food into small pieces as it makes you feel like you're eating more

get out of the all or nothing mindset

when you can, eat in front of a mirror

whenever you crave a food, add its calories to your food tracking app (or whatever you use) then subtract them at the end of the day to see how much you didn't eat

it takes 21 days to build a habit

meal prep low calorie food

don't eat when you aren't hungry just because you have calories left

good posture burns more calories

buy clothes in a smaller size as motivation

keep a water bottle with you all day and you'll find it easier to drink more water

eat denser foods so you feel more full

adding spices to foods makes it taste better and (depending on the spice) can increase your metabolism

put up notes with messages to yourself on mirrors, doors and in the kitchen to give you motivation to stop snacking

the longer your stomach is empty, the smaller it gets and the less you need to be full and the longer your body is using its stored fat for energy

eating more salt before getting weighed makes you weigh more due to water retention

take food from the kitchen often to make it look like you're eating more

black pepper makes your heart rate go up incase people are worried that it's too low

drink lots of water before getting weighed at the doctor's

cook often for people and they will assume that you ate some while you were in the kitchen

when you cook, just the act of seeing so much food and smelling it is often enough to fill you up

keep in mind that if you eat too much you will get fat. they don't make cute clothes for fat people

try not to eat much when there aren't other people around

weight lost slowly is more likely to stay off, weight lost rapidly is more likely to be gained back

having more muscle burns more calories

try to stand or walk more instead of sitting

stay hydrated

frozen foods take longer to eat

eating from a dark coloured plate makes you feel like you're eating more

don't buy in bulk, it'll make you feel like you need to eat more before the food goes bad

your body often mistake thirst for hunger

don't talk about dieting or weight loss around other (non ed) people

have excuses ready for why you haven't eaten

laxitives don't affect calorie consumption

blotting greasy food like pizza can save about 100 calories

liquid calories are less filling

instead of cutting out high calorie foods completely, have them in small amounts or find a lower calorie substitute that satisfies the craving

horizontal stripes can make you look wider

purging too hard can rupture your esophagus

binging can expand your stomach

"negative calorie foods" don't exist

sit down when you eat and savour your food

not sleeping enough can decrease your metabolism

make sure to take your vitamins!!!

overuse of laxitives can cause incontinence

if you have things you shouldn't, make sure to hide it properly/dispose of it as soon as possible

cook food like fish, that leaves a smell so people know you've eaten

keep yourself busy to stay distracted from food

leave the house often so you aren't around food all the time (go for a walk or drive, join a club, sit in the park, etc)

eating breakfast makes you less likely to binge later in the day

flavour water with electrolyte tablets, fruit, or something else to make you want to drink it more

when you want to bing, count down from your current weight to your goal weight

suck suck on ice

light a scented candle to mute your appetite

brush your teeth after eating so you're less likely to eat more

if you get hunger pangs, imagine your stomach eating away at your fat

think of your weight as temporary

eat slowly and chew properly

track everything you eat, even when you binge

try to exercise at least a little every day. even a small walk around the block is better than nothing

drink green tea

fidgeting burns more calories

think of reasons for why you want to lose weight

ask yourself before every meal "will this make me feel good? will it help me reach my goals?"

find what works for you, everyone works differently and a method that works for other people may not work for you

try not to eat too much in one sitting, even if it fits your calorie limit. lots of little meals are better than one big meal

try not to get distracted while you eat

when you go food shopping, only take money for what you need

drink a glass of water before you eat

try not to eat within three hours of going to bed

don't take small bites of food throughout the day without counting it. calories add up fast

save money for every time you skip a meal, or stick to your calorie limit. then, reward yourself by buying something nice (new clothes is good)

never eat in secret or hoard food!!! it's a horrible habit that can lead to binging

tell people you feel sick if they try to make you eat

don't be scared of diet drinks. if they satisfy your craving, drink them

track weight loss using measuring tape. the scale is affected by everything and you will always see yourself as fat in the mirror

when you have a craving, sprinkle a little salt on your tongue

make a list of things you look forward to when you reach your goal weight

being in ketosis can make your breath stink. please chew gum or eat sugar free mints

eat with chopsticks to slow you down

share your food with friends and family

weight yourself once a week instead of once a day to see more obvious progress

walking > running. running burns calories quicker but also makes you tired and hungry

don't act too nervous at the dinner table, people will get suspicious

practise getting good at maths so you can count calories in your head

if you eat the same number of calories every day your body will get used to it and you could hit a plateau

try to eat less ultra processed/sugary foods as they can slow your metabolism and make you hungrier

keep a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever you feel like binging

it takes about 20 minutes for your body to feel full from when you start eating

when you feel like eating, paint your nails and you won't be able to eat until the polish dries

plan what you will eat a day prior

restricting too low will make you want to binge more

find an ananana buddy

don't keep eating if you're already full. if you have food still on your plate, save it and eat it another time

stay positive! even if you mess up a few times, you WILL lose the weight

[pog-with-a-blog]

Best feeling in the world is making a really good soup I think

[eximparadise]

Black pepper is one of the most popular spices used worldwide. It has many uses, including cooking, flavouring food, and making medicines. We specialise in exporting black pepper from Africa to various countries around the world.

[ms-demeanor]

You seem like a good sort of person to ask; how does one go about building up a good spice rack? Not only just having the spices, but knowing what they are and how to use them, when and in what quantities, and developing a wider spice palette in general? I grew up in white suburbia and my mother has no idea how to use anything other than salt and ground black pepper, and I want to start making my foods more flavorful. I am tired of utterly flavorless dry roast pork! But I have no idea where to begin lol.

I'd say to start by trying a lot of foods that use a lot of different spice profiles and seeing what you like. If you like Thai food, look into Thai spices and try cooking a few recipes. If you like Indian food, try Indian recipes. If you don't know if you like a particular kind of food, go out and try it and see if you do.

I think the best way to build up your spice rack is to do so slowly over time as you familiarize yourself with different flavors. Don't go out and buy a ton of stuff, go out and buy cumin and make a rice recipe that calls for cumin and see if you like it, then next time maybe add another spice like cayenne pepper to the recipe and see if you like it.

Spices can be really expensive, but they can also be really cheap if you're looking in the right places. Try to avoid the shiny organic spice jars, and see if there are packets of spices in the various "ethnic" food sections of your grocery store (in California it's pretty common to have a Mexican food section and an Asian food section in the store and you'll often find stuff like a packet of cumin for 70 cents that's got the same amount of spice as the organic jar that costs five bucks in the spice aisle).

Once you've got some basics down, start branching out and seeing if you've got any good markets nearby that have more unusual spices. Large Bastard and I get most of our bulk spices from a Middle Eastern market around the corner from our house or at an Indian market a few miles away because it's WAY cheaper to get allspice or turmeric or garam masala from those stores than it would be from the grocery store.

And if you're starting at the basic-basics, like how to season a simple pork roast, check recipe blogs. Find different bloggers and test their recipes until you find someone you trust, then follow their recipes. One good place to start is with Chef John and Food Wishes - he has a wide variety of cuisines that use a lot of different spices and has recipes that range from very simple to very complex.

Large Bastard really likes Food Wishes and trying recipes from Chef John - he cooks less than I do and has less of a sense of what to add to a pot to get something to taste the way he wants it to, but he's gotten very good at taking Food Wishes recipes and tweaking them or adjusting them and figuring out how to mix and match flavors.

Just cooking - finding a recipe that looks interesting and following it - is a really good way to get better at this kind of thing.

That's actually one of the reasons that I think meal kit boxes like blue apron can be worth it for people who want to learn how to cook - they give you recipes you wouldn't have thought to look for and provide small amounts of the required ingredients so you can sample them and figure out if you like them. My dad and sister got blue apron for like two years and it has significantly improved their cooking skills and ability to mix and match flavors.

It just takes time and money and trial and error. Easy, right? (It isn't, but there's also no way to make it faster other than doing more experiments. Thankfully there are ways to make it cheaper, and yeah looking at local specialty markets is a good way to save on spices)

[adaginy]

I'm doing Dracula Daily for the first time this year after watching excitedly in previous years and I would like to share my recipe for chicken hendl/paprikash, somewhat based on my (slovak) grandmother-in-law's recipe. And for a slow cooker and a big batch.

The best part of this recipe, for me, is the memory of my mom copying it down for another family member and stopping to say "Excuse me does this say a quarter CUP of paprika??"

3+ lbs boneless chicken (we usually use thighs, obviously if you want to use something with bones just account for the weight. Recipe also works with rabbit.) 1.5 cup chicken broth black pepper 1 Tbsp butter 1/4 cup paprika (we use spanish because we can get that in bulk, please report back on results of what you use. Caution against using smoked because it gets to be Too Much very quickly.) 1 tsp marjoram, or thyme if you don't have marjoram on hand because who does 1 red bell pepper, in strips 1 shallot, in thin slices, or an onion, we just use shallot because I hate the texture and this way there's less of it 3 Tbsp tomato paste (~50g) . 1/2 cup sour cream, light is fine 1 Tbsp flour 3/4 tsp salt . carb to serve over (noodles/dumplings are probably most traditional, we like mashed potatoes)

Everything in the first section, into the slow cooker, about 3-4 hours on low or until stuff falls apart. (chicken breast doesn't always fall apart as well until you start stirring and poking at it.)

Mix the last 3 ingredients together and add to the pot, let heat through with the lid off while you prepare your carbs.

Grab yourself a plate/bowl of carbs and pour your delicious chicken sludge on top. Enjoy!

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five

TW: abuse of authority, harassment, cops

The next day, you are driving home from a long shift in the wee hours of the morning when you see the dreaded flicker of blue and red lights flashing behind you. There’s hardly anyone else out on the highway, so there’s little chance they’re not directed at you. 

What the hell? You weren’t even speeding. You are exhausted. Did you drift over the line? Fuck. A ticket is the last thing you need right now. You make your way over to the side of the road, hoping you don’t get a flat from all the extraneous bullshit that peppers the asphalt. There really is no one around, and a little thrill of fear tightens your chest. Being a woman alone late at night in this situation isn’t exactly what you would call ideal. 

You know you don’t exactly look threatening, but you’re still careful to place your hands in full view on the top of the wheel. You glance in your side mirror at the black Dodge Charger parked behind you, momentarily blinded by those stupid flashing lights. However, when you set eyes on the figure who emerges from the driver’s seat, your heart plummets to your stomach. 

That motherfucker. 

He approaches your open window with all the swagger of a rooster, long legs and broad shoulders. Doesn’t look much like that burn is bothering him now. You know part of the bulk of his chest is a vest (and you’re glad he’s wearing it, considering his habits) but it still manages to fry the aesthetic center of your brain as you watch him. 

He bends down slightly to peer in your window, blinding you with his flashlight. So unnecessary. 

“Really?” you grouse, squinting at the bright light. 

Ignoring your complaint, he offers that shit-eating smirk. “Know why I pulled you over?” 

He leans on your window, and you know you stare at that large hand distractingly close to your shoulder for a beat too long, utterly betraying your thoughts to him. “No idea,” you sigh, tired, and pissed off, and you hate to admit it-entirely too titillated by his newest form of harassment.

Again, it occurs to you how very alone you are out here, at this time of the night. Even if there was another car driving by…there’s no way they’re stopping to help you. 

“For driving while adorable.” 

Of all the things he could have said in that moment-and you cannot help but remember the way he trussed you like a christmas turkey and said such filthy things in your ear that one time you treated him-it’s so cheesy it almost makes you smile.

“Are you kidding me?”

“And you were going 7 miles over the speed limit.”

This was LA. You took your life in your hands for not speeding at least fifteen over most of the time.

“You’re writing me a ticket for going seven over?” 

He doesn’t actually have the ticket book in his hand, and he looks around the deserted highway as though thinking about it. 

“Well. I don’t have to…”

Here it comes. 

“I’m not going on a date with you to get out of this. Write it up. Fuck it. I don’t care.”

He pays you a little frown, because he’s trying to be cute, but you’re just not playing his game. You imagine a man like this isn’t used to women not playing any games he asks them to. He has no idea how stubborn you can be. 

When he honest-to-god makes a pouty face, pushing out that beautifully full lower lip it’s all you can do not to reach out of the car and slap him-or maybe punch him in the dick-because it’s charming, and it melts your heart a little, and you so do not need this. You’ve been dreaming about him nearly every goddamn night since you first treated him and this is only going to throw gasoline on the fire-fuck!

“Did you forget that I have a boyfriend?” you remind him, for yourself as much as him. Maybe it’s not wise, to poke the bear while he’s actually almost being sweet-but you are mad.

His eyes narrow at you, and why do you get such a thrill from that? 

“Do you? Because the two of you seemed a little…awkward, together. Not sure I buy it.”

“Things are just new,” you defend. “What, do you want to hear about how he rubs my feet on my break?”

The glint in Officer Ludlow’s eyes is like a bared blade. “Just your feet? Honey, if you were my girl I’d rub you all over. For your health.” 

Fuck if that doesn’t send a spear of heat straight to your center, your heart thumping painfully in your chest. You hope he doesn’t notice you shifting in your seat, trying to relieve some of the absolutely diabolical ache between your thighs.

“Well…the break room has its limits.”

“Wouldn’t stop me.” The images that is going to give you when you lay down to sleep. 

“I’m sure it wouldn’t. But Julian is actually a gentleman.”

“Yeah? Pretty sure that’s code for boring as fuck.” 

“He’s not boring. He’s sweet. He’s taking me to coffee on Saturday morning, and you know what? I’m not going to think about you at all.” 

A greater lie was never told.

It almost feels like you finally scored a hit. His expression turns stony, unreadable, and you know it’s crazy but you almost feel bad about it. At last he straightens from practically leaning into your window, hooking his thumb in his belt. “Alright, sassy girl,” he says, patting the top of your car. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time.” With a final dark look he swaggers back to his Charger. 

It’s possible you watch him go in your side mirror-it’s really not fair, that God gave a man that annoying such a biteable little muffin of an ass.

[somethingclevermahogony]

Now that you're back, I can toss some more asks your way! What sort of spices are common in which places? Is any region known for especially spicy food?

Finally actually getting to this! As per usual I will not be answering this in any sort of concise or short manner, so get ready for a long read. Just so this isn't too long, I'm only going to focus on Kishetal and I will discuss the characteristics and some of the more popular ingredients, spices, and dishes in 8 different Kishite cities, each representing a different region of Kishetal.

A Brief Introduction to Kishite Cuisine

1. Shared Traits

Across the Seven (Technically 8, but I'm skipping the Makorian Colonies for now, I might return to them later if people are interested) Kishite regions there are a number of features which remain constant among Kishite culinary traditions. The most immediately recognizable of these features is how food itself is served. Kishite food is always served in bite-sized pieces, whether naturally or whether it is cut up before eating (soups and liquids are the exception to this). Food is eaten with the fingers or else with a spoon. There are no forks or chopsticks or similar utensils. Knives are a rarity as well, as typically it is expected that the food will already be served in pieces or that it can be broken into small pieces with the fingers.

Another shared trait is the "triad" which refers to three types of food which form the bulk of the average person's diet, these being Grain (Wheat, Barley, or Rye), Legumes (Lentils, Chickpeas, Peas, Vetch, Beans, Etc.), and Fat (Most typically olives/olive oil with sheep fat/lard and butter also appearing). The Makurian steppe is unique in that grain does not form the majority of the diet for commoners, with dairy and fats taking precedent.

The last similarity is a heavy reliance on condiments, whether these be seasonings or sauces or something else entirety. It is typical for a Kishite table to have several different kinds of toppings available at any time, what exactly these are will vary by region.

2. Regional Cuisines

(I honestly can't remember if I put a cut here, Tumblr isn't letting me put a cut, so I think I did....sorry if I didn't.)

1. The Red Cedar Mountains : Labisa

The Red Cedar Mountains stretch from the Shabalic Sea in the north nearly to the Sea of Agitu in the south. This region is home to cities like Labisa and Kepfis.

Labisian's are famed for the love of and skill in producing fried foods. The food of Labisa, and in the mountains in general, is viewed by other regions as hearty and heavy. Breads and cakes, sausages, and heavy sauces are well known from the region. Foods are often drizzled with fat. Olives are a popular snack. Compared to other regions the people of Labisa eat relatively few vegetables. Per capita, the people of the mountains including the commoners, eat more meat than in any other region of Kishetal (typically in the form of sausages (Arashuki) and offal) while eating far less saltwater derived fish. Most meat comes from sheep, with horned-rabbits, goats, and pigs coming close behind. Cattle are largely reserved for the nobility. Game is common fare, though only for those with the time to hunt it or the money to buy it. Insects are very rarely consumed, particularly in the city. Rodents and other small animals, with the exception of the Cedar Squirrel, are rarely eaten. Aside from a tendency towards rich textures and flavours, Labisan cuisine shows a strong preference for black pepper, which appears in almost all dishes, including desserts. Labisans, perhaps as a way to to counteract the fatty nature of their cuisine, are infamous for their love of vinegar, even more than other regions. It is not unusual for morsels to be dipped into first vinegar and then into various herbs most typically a mixture of parsely, mint, and salt. While herbs (mint, parsley, thyme, basil, coriander, rosemary, etc), aliums (onions and garlic) and acids (vinegar) are common aspects of Labisan seasoning, for the common person, spices are a relative rarity, with the exception of black pepper. Cumin is used at times, as is imported cardamom and cinnamon. Lisikip (Tickling seed), which is similar in nature and effect to the Szechuan peppercorn, is used on occasion. However on the whole Labisan food is not known for being "spicy" and while rich, has a reputation for being relatively bland. You're unlikely to find much in the way of soups/broths in Labisa, though stews are relatively common. A common stew is Olibiha (aka Hot blood water) , which consists of boiled meat (this will vary but will regardless likely contain organ meat and other less expensive cuts), beets, onions, garlic, and fat of some sort. Traditionally this soup was sold by butchers and at markets at the end of the day as a way to use up unpurchased products. Though its name is typically in reference to the color imparted by the beets, it is not unheard of for blood to be added to the broth, though this form is less popular.

Similar to Olibiha, Chakun, are a popular butcher snack, typically made from pig or lamb skin, fried in its own fat and then seasoned. This is somewhat comparable to "cracklins" or chicharrons. Labisian cuisine in general holds an appreciation for crispy or crunchy textures that other regions do not tend to show.

Fried dough and fried cakes are a popular festival food somewhat similar to what we might associate with a doughnut. These doughnuts or Hasolikipun are typically fried in olive oil or sheep fat. Typically these are then split open and stuffed with a variety of fillings, including fish, offal, and nuts. Another popular dish is Kipsha, a dense barley cake typically drizzled with honey and citrus and served with toppings like nuts and cheese. Kipsha is both sold on the street and made in houses, often for celebrations. Deserts, aside from fruit, are a relative rarity in Labisa, with Kipsha being perhaps the most well known kind. Labisa's position on the shore of Lake Shebali, means that the city has access to lake fish, and thus freshwater species are consumed more here than in other regions. Trout and eels are particularly cherished by Kishite consumers, both are typically roasted. The most commonly consumed fish are various species of minnow and shad, which are caught in bulk and often served fried. Labisan cuisine is strongly influenced by the cuisines of pre-Kishite tribes which existed in the mountains before the arrival of Tamel.

2. The Felic Plain : Seha

The Felic Plains primarily consist of grassland with occasional patches of deciduous forest. The plains are split by the Aratshin River, and most large settlements can be found on the edge of said river.

The region experiences hot summers and mild but wet winters, which makes the region ideal for farming. As such, the Felic Plains act as the bread-basket of Kishetal. In comparison to the mountains and other regions, the people of Seha eat far more vegetables, and considerably less meat and very little marine protein.

Compared to Labisian cuisine, Sehaic shows a far stronger affinity for spices, with cumin, garlic, lisjir, coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, fennel, and black pepper all appearing regularly in the diet. Felic cuisine in general is the "spiciest" variety, though it is in contention for that tightly with the Kipsian Desert. Mustard and mustard seeds are common ingredients as well, and in the rare instances where meat is eaten, mustard is almost always present.

In addition to their love of spices, Sehaic consumers are infamous for their general disdain for many textures. Sehaic foods have a reputation for being soft, often boiled or stir-fried or else pounded until quiet easy to chew. The cuisine shows an aversion to the crispy, crunchy, and chewy textures.

Sehaic cuisine is known for its heavy use of green vegetables such as lettuce and cabbage, as well as its preference for broths as opposed to thicker stews. Fried food is a relative rarity in Sehaic cuisine, with boiling or else "stir-frying" being far more common.

Cheese is a large part of the diet and is often the condiment of choice, with several different varieties of cheeses being used, all with their own distinct purposes. One variety of heavily salted cheese, is added on to savory dishes as a way of imparting salinity. Sehaic's are known for drinking their wine and beer with cheese, that is to say they are known for crumbling a particular variety of sheep's cheese into their beverages. After the beverage has been consumed, the resultant cheesy sludge left at the bottom of the bowl is then mixed with honey and nuts and is eaten as a desert. This particular dish is called Birafepaha (Fepaha's Joy).

A common dish is Keriha or "hot green" a dish consisting of dark green leaves, typically spinach boiled with garlic, onion, coriander, and lisjir, in a broth or stock (typically made from fish bones). This may be mixed and cooked down until the liquid has all but evaporated, producing a thick substance which may then be used to dip bread, or if the liquid is not boiled out, it may be eaten as a soup. While meat is rare it is not entirely unheard of. It is not unusal for a family to keep one or two horned-rabbits, raising them both for meat and for fur. Sheep and cattle are both quite common, as evidenced by the Sehaic love of cheese. Mutton and lamb are often consumed at celebrations. Jirbaha, is a beloved dish consisting of strips of lamb or mutton, cooked with a variety of herbs and spices as well as mustard. This is then wrapped in a cigar like fashion, along with various greens and cheese, in a thin dough and is either fried or baked. This is then typically cut into pieces or else is held in the hand.

Sehaic cuisine shows a deep reverence for freshwater fish, with eels, trout, and sturgeon being reserved for either special occasions or the diets of the wealthy/powerful. Smaller and less valuable fish act as occasional supplements to the common diet. Insects and gastropods are eaten quite regularly. Locusts, cicadas, grubs, and snails are all common parts of the Sehaic diet, often added to other dishes. The favoured preparation for insects is fried in sesame or olive oil, and then heavily spiced and seasoned. During the harvest season, locusts with lisijir are a popular snack. Other agricultural pests, such as field rats and moles, may also be eaten, typically cooked over a fire. Kipnakili is a comfort food, often eaten by farmers and river boat drivers, including pirates. It consists of soft cheese, nuts (typically pistachios or walunts or a mix), fruit (typically figs, with the addition of raspberries and sometimes pomegranate), and honey. This mixture is pounded into a fine paste, which is then spread onto flatbread or small round barley cakes, the Felic equivalent to kipsha.

Sehaic cuisine, and Felic cuisine in general, exhibits a strong influence from both native populations and ancient Shabalic cuisine, with some dishes, such as Birafepaha, having roots as far back as the time of Tamel.

3. The Western Coast : Chibal

Pictured Above: The Western Coast near the city-state of Chibal

The Western Coast borders the Green Sea stretching from Bura in the north to Bisabal in the south. The climate here is warm and wet, defined by arid summers and stormy winters, similar to the Felic Plains but more intense on both counts. This has resulted in a culinary tradition with strong seasonal trends. Room temperature of even cold dishes are popular in the summer months while more hearty soups and broths are popular in the winter and fall.

Chibal, the second largest city in Kishetal after Labisa, has become the most culturally and demographically diverse city in the region, thanks to its prominence as a major trading port. This rich diversity is reflected in Chibalian cuisine, which incorporates elements from Korithian, Apunian, Ikopeshi, Baalkic, Shabalic, and Makorian culinary traditions. This post will focus specifically on dishes which were developed and created in Chibal and not imported.

Due to this sheer variety of influences and sub-cultures it is hard to make any sweeping claims about the nature of Chibalian food. However in general Chibalian food puts an emphasis on the quality of individual ingredients, with Chibalian cooks and diners earning a reputation as being pretentious. As a result, generally Chibalian dishes tend to be less complex, while being fresher. The same applies for seasoning and spice. While not bland like Labisian cuisine, Chibalian cuisine in most instances lacks the complex melanges of spices and seasoning seen in Sehaic food. Rather it should be expected that a Chibalian dish, in most instances, will rely primarily on only one or two items as seasoning, aside from salt.

While legumes and grains(particularly the massive paper thin flatbread known as lakibi) make up the majority of the Chibalian diet, fish and meat also make a significant contribution. Unsurprisingly a far larger portion of the diets of the people of Chibal and the Western Coast in general are composed of marine elements. Alongside fish and shellfish, the coast is home to many varieties of edible seaweed which appear in a number of dishes, particularly salads and soups. Chibal is additionally famous for its salt, produced in salt beds. This flaky salt is shipped around the entirety of the Green Sea, however the best is kept in Chibal and used to top a variety of dishes. Other popular condiments include cumin seeds, vinegar, olive oil, and a variety of Korithian fish sauce called wydram.

Bikerebi (water-leaf water) is a traditional soup, often served as a starter or side dish. It features a broth typically made from small fish or shrimp and various types of green sea algae. While the broth can be enjoyed on its own, it is usually enhanced with additional ingredients like salt, lisijir, vinegar, black pepper, and dill. A popular variation, known as Kibikerebi, involves crumbling stale or dried bread into the broth, creating a paste-like porridge. This heartier version is commonly eaten by fishermen and laborers as their first meal of the day. Ovens are typically reserved only for bread, with roasted or baked dishes being relatively rare (though roasted meats and seafoods may be eaten on special occasions). Rather the majority of Chibalian food is boiled, pickled, sauteed, fried, or dried. Chibal is one of the only places in Kishetal with a penchant, particularly in the warmer months, for eating raw foods. This includes fruits and vegetables along with fish and shellfish. One famed, though expensive dish is Sibizu aka "cold-fish" typically made from white flesh fish, such as sea bass, flounder, mackerel, and scallops. Tuna species and swordfish are considered more luxurious, and are preferred by the wealthy. Fish meat is cut into thin pieces and covered in salt and herbs, typically dill. This can be done either in a bowl or pot or spread onto a tray or flat stone. This is then allowed to sit, typically for around 2 hours. After this the fish is removed from salt and rinsed in a mixture of water and vinegar, typically three times. After this the fish is served with a olive oil as well as various other toppings. In certain circumstances the fish may be served ontop of ice or snow as this is believed to improve the freshness and flavour. Uncooked fish more often takes the form of pickled fish, left in a mixture of vinegar, salt, and herbs. Oysters and clams are regularly eaten raw, though they may also be shucked and added to soups or stews or on rare occasion baked.

Chibalian cuisine is defined by an intense interest in texture with the perfect meal preferable containing elements which are soft, slimy, creamy, crunchy, and chewy. For the last category cephalopods such as octopus and squid as well as stewed cartilage are popular ingredients. Vegetables are typically served as sides, favored for their textural components rather than their flavor. Crisp lettuce or crunchy asparagus/cabbage often appear as part of broader meals, but are often ignored. Salads composed of lettuce, spinach, cabbage, and other greens including seaweed are often served at the end of the meal, after fruit. Chibal is one of the only cities where pigs are consumed at a greater rate than sheep or goats, though still not as much as the horned-rabbit. Sausages, tripe, offal, and chops are all eaten regularly along with products made from the skin and blood.

4. The Northern Coast/Sheprian Forest: Shepra

The Sheprian forest in the northern part of Kishetal is primarily composed of deciduous trees with occasional conifer patches at areas with higher elevations. Common trees include oak, chestnut, birch, hornbeam, black pine, cedar, juniper, and beech. 

The city of Shepra lies on the northern coast of Kishetal at the Delta of the Pesha River. The surrounding area is heavily forested. For this reason, Shepra is famed for the quality of its hunters and of its game. Sheprians are additionally famed for the quality of their wheat, said to be sweeter and more delicate than the more abundant Felic varieties. Sheprian bakers are famed for their fluffy yeasted breads, typically favouring wheat rather than the barley which reigns supreme in southern regions. As a result, Sheprian wheat bread has been called, Kipchilu or Bread of the Gods. Sheprian bread is so popular that it or at the very least, Sheprian wheat flour, may be shipped hundreds of miles by foot, donkey, and ship to the courts of cities like Labisa and Chibal where it is treated with great reverence, often as a desert. Sheprian bread is often added to sacrifices alongside meat and fat meant for Great Spirits and Gods, either left outside on special alters (for Great Spirits) or burnt (for Gods).

Shepra boasts a vast collection of communal ovens, located near the town's center alongside the central grain store. By paying taxes, serving in the city guard, or fulfilling other civic duties, a Sheprian household earns a clay tablet that grants them the right to use one of the ovens for the season. However, a persistent issue plagues the town: a group of counterfeiters producing fake tablets. If someone is caught using a counterfeit tablet, they face punishment through debt slavery for up to three years, usually tasked with cleaning and maintaining the ovens. The problem is so significant that the Sheprian King has established a dedicated bureaucratic office, the Chief of Ovens, to address it (not to be confused with the Chief of Bread, who oversees the baking of bread and the storage of grains within the Palatial Complex). Those found guilty of intentionally damaging an oven or stealing an oven tablet receive death.

Some families also own smaller ceramic ovens or braziers, which can be used inside the house or, more commonly, on the flat roofs. In addition to these, there are professional bakers who either own their own ovens or petition for special tablets that designate them as bakers, granting them unrestricted access to the communal ovens. The abundance of ovens, along with ample timber and coal, has shaped a cuisine centered around braising, roasting, and baking. Sheprian food often involves long, slow cooking times, resulting in dishes celebrated for their rich flavors but often criticized for their lackluster colors and textures. Stews and gravies play a central role in Sheprian cuisine.

Unsurprisingly, bread is a staple of Sheprian meals, with 126 distinct varieties produced in the region, 42 of which are entirely unique to that region, and 13 exclusive to the city of Shepra. One notable variety, ruyi (literally "plate"), is a large, dry, and dense flatbread typically made from a mixture of wheat and barley. Families usually bake ruyi in bulk every four to five days. To prevent spoilage, it is cooked to a cracker-like consistency, making it hard and tasteless in its natural state. The flatbread is then wrapped in cloth and stored for use as flatware during meals. Food is served directly onto the ruyi, accompanied by vinegar, oil, cheese, and various sauces and toppings, including a chickpea and garlic paste known as Babilkipi. After the meal, once the bread has absorbed the liquids, it is either cut or broken into pieces and eaten. Ruyi is a common presence at most Sheprian meals, and it is not unusual for families to consume multiple types of bread, including ruyi, in a single meal. Perhaps due to their preference for hearty, fatty meals—possibly to counter the cold winters—Sheprians, along with Labisians, are often stereotyped as being somewhat heavier than other Kishite groups. This trait is not viewed negatively; in fact, many consider both Sheprian men and women among the most attractive in Kishetal.

As previously mentioned, game such as venison and boar is consumed regularly in Shepria, alongside goat and pork. However, horned rabbits are rarely kept, making them a minor part of the Sheprian diet. Cattle and sheep are similarly uncommon, largely due to the dense, ancient forests that dominate the region, which are not well-suited to pastoralism. For this same reason the people of Shepria have historically had little use for horses and cavalry.

Despite being located right next to the Shabalic Sea, seafood plays a relatively minor role in the Sheprian diet. Ironically, most of the prized Sheprian catch is sold to merchants and traders from cities like Chibal and Seha. The exception is shellfish, which the Sheprians consume in large quantities. The outskirts of the city are dotted with massive shell middens, some of which have become homes to various spirits and, on occasion, even monsters.

Sheprians use a wide range of spices and herbs, but their cuisine is particularly known for its heavy reliance on oregano, garlic, juniper, turmeric, and even imported ginger and cinnamon. To add heat to their dishes, Sheprians favor both horseradish and radishes, especially a specific breed of radish renowned for its intensity. This radish is often sliced thinly and used as a condiment. In other Kishite regions, bards and comedic poets like to tell exaggerated tales of Sheprian children wandering the streets and hills, gnawing on mustard seeds, radishes, and whole pieces of horseradish. While these stories are clearly hyperbolic, there is some truth to the Sheprian preference for this type of heat. Interestingly, despite their love for pungent flavors, Sheprians rarely use black pepper or lisijir in their cooking.

Kilakela, or "Field and Forest," refers to a category of layered dishes that might best be described as casseroles. These dishes typically involve finely chopped meat—often pork or various game birds—combined with additional fat, usually lard or olive oil, along with root vegetables like beets and parsnips, onions, an array of spices, wine, and sometimes honey. The mixture is placed in a special clay vessel and buried under coals at the back of the oven, where it cooks slowly throughout the day, allowing the ingredients to become tender and flavors to meld. Once the day's baking and other cooking tasks are complete, the vessel is retrieved, and the resulting stew or casserole is served atop ruyi. A variation of Kilakela, known as Kilala, excludes meat and is instead a vegetable stew, often fortified with chickpeas or lentils to add heartiness.

Northerners are one of the few groups which consume mushrooms on a regular basis, evidently not holding the same fears and superstitions as their southern cousins. One dish banalligu, sees mushrooms, doused in vinegar and olive oil, cooked on a skewer often with various other ingredients, depending on what is available such as whole cloves of garlic, small onions, vegetables including carrots, beets, and cabbage, game (most often duck or venison) or pork belly, and sometimes figs. This is cooked directly on the dying coals of the oven, charring the mushrooms and other components. After cooking the ingredients are removed from the skewer and may either be eaten as is or be wrapped in thin flatbread similar to Chibalic lakibi before being topped with a variety of ingredients.

Sheprian food shows strong influence from more recent Shabalic trends, with both favouring stews and hearty meals typically composed of many ingredients.

5. The Southern coast: Kotsa

The Southern Coast consists of three regions; the southern deciduous forest, the scrubland, and the plains. The climate in the south is quite warm, with summers being hot and dry and winters mild in both temperature and rainfall. On rare occasions, the southern coast may experience heavy snowfall. 

Major cities are sparse however, many villages dot the southern coast, many of these villages rely on piracy, preying primarily on Apunian and Jezaani ships traveling to and from the Western Coast. The largest of the southern cities is Kotsa, founded on the ruins of a pre-Kishite civilization.

Kotsa is famed as the primary home of the Shobiashkun, a particular brand of priests and sages. While these priests are superficially said to serve the Deity of Writing and Knowledge, Shashuma (They are a minority, the largest temples in Kotsa belong to the storm God, Kotomah), in actuality this small collection of scholars and philosophers focus their interests on the Shobiash, the River of Creation and Time, thus looking behind the Heavenly Gods. A Shobiashku looks for patterns in existence, and seeks meaning and purpose in these patterns, typically through meditation or sometimes through drug assisted trances. The Shobiashku forgo sex, meat, and honey, save for in those instances in which those things may help with their musings. Numerous treatises pertaining to the nature of the universe, death, magic, and civil order have been produced by this small sect. Despite the fact that the Shobiashkun are a relatively small group, little more than 50 individuals at any time, they have had a major effect on the cuisine of Kotsa and the surrounding region. As a result Kotsa is one of the few regions with a significant vegetarian population, particularly among the learned elite.

Kotsa has one of the most defined elite cuisines, separated from that of the commoners not only by the ingredients used, but also by how that food is prepared and presented. Particularly among the nobility of Kotsa, eating and food is viewed with a level of spiritual and medicinal reverence. At the palatial court for example the supposed symbolism and medicinal boon of each dish is announced each time one of the many small courses is presented, with some courses comprising of only a couple of bites of food. At a Ceremonial Kotsian Banquet, bread is always served first, unseasoned and alone. Most often this is a dense barley bread, its hearty nature meant to represent the soil and stone. Next comes water, or more rarely, beer. This is followed by a number of dishes with various representations; A charred onion spiced with lisijir and ginger (Hagugura) to represent fire, a small cake made from sheep’s cheese and wheatberries to represent the fields (Jiribikip), a piece of roasted turnip spiced with cardamom and salt to represent the walls of the city (Elmuhi), etc. Wine is drunk sparingly throughout the meal and often watered down to an extreme level (sometimes to the equivalent of 16 parts water to one part wine.) In these particular dishes, spice is used sparingly as it is believed that using too many additional ingredients may in some way dampen the medicinal properties of the dish. Of course, such rigid dining is mostly indicative of ceremonial affairs or of the most rigidly traditional nobles, it does not represent all cuisine.

Outside of the world of ceremonial dining, Kotsian cuisine is known for its freshness and its love of spices, though its relative disdain for heat (lisijir, horseradish, radish, etc.) Cardamom, ginger, garlic, bay, turmeric, and saffron all appear regularly in Kotsian dishes. The South of Kishetal is famed as being one of the only places west of Sinria to have successfully planted and cultivated the cinnamon tree, with five small groves near Kotsa, accounting for nearly all Kishite Cinnamon. Cinnamon features in both savory and sweet dishes and may even be added to wine and beer. As a result, cinnamon appears in much of Kotsian cooking. One popular dessert, Jakeresha consists of a cake made from dates, cheese, and flour, wrapped in several layers of thin dough. This is then heavily seasoned in a mixture of ground cinnamon, honey, and sesame seeds. The savory version of this dish, Jakereshu replaces the dates typically with a mixture of mashed chickpeas and fava beans, and replaces the honey usually with oil, while retaining the heavy use of cinnamon.

Kotsian food is noteworthy among Kishite cuisines for its fragrance, due to its heavy use of aromatics. It is said the ruler of the country of Apuna, the Fapacha, once hired Kotsian cooks to work in his kitchens, only so that the smell of Kotsian food could perfume his halls.

Kotsian food doesn't seem to demonstrate any particular tendencies or preferences when it comes to cooking styles, with baking, sautéing, frying, and boiling all appearing. Aside from the Makurian Steppe region, and is the most distinct from other Kishite styles. In terms of preparation and ingredients, Kotsian and southern cuisine in general seems to have more in common with that of foreign lands like Jezaan and even Apuna, than it does with places like Labisa or Seha.

While vinegar does appear, it and its use in pickling and preservation are far less common than in other regions. Dried foods are common however, with fruits and vegetables and fish often dried on reed mats as a way to intensify flavor. For the purpose in general the treatment of meat within the Kotisan diet is similar to that of Seha, with meat being eaten only on rare occasions. When meat is served, it is typically done simply, roasted or boiled and cut into thin pieces. Sheep are the most common form of livestock, with significant cattle herds also being present. Horned-rabbits are relatively common, though not to the extent of the mountainous regions. Pigs are all but absent. Due to the relatively arid environment, game is also a relatively rare part of the diet, with the exception of gazelle.

Kotsians, and the south in general are famed for their love of yogurt, or Ishjir, often eaten as a mid-day meal, mixed with fruit or honey. Yogurt may also function as a condiment of sorts, with a variety of sauces comprised of yogurt mixed with various herbs and spices, utilized depending on the circumstance.

Fish is eaten regularly, particularly fish like seabream, which is often salted and left to dry. This dried fish is then stored and may be rehydrated in soups or else used as a travel food.

One dish that is unique to the region but that is quickly spreading both to other regions of Kishetal and to other parts of the Green Sea is Talakili which while its name literally translates to "flat bread" is actually more comparable to pasta, typically made from wheat flour mixed with water and oil, rolled flat, cut into either small squares or circles and then boiled and served with a variety of sauces. Talakili with salt, cheese, and cinnamon is a popular comfort food among Kotsian children.

6. The Kipsian Desert : Kipsa

The Kipsian Desert, with its rocky terrain and sparse vegetation, is the least populated regions of Kishetal, and is also the region with the largest pre-Kishite genetic and cultural influence. As a result, the Kipsian dialect of Kishite, is often quite difficult for other Kishites to understand as it is heavily influenced by other languages such as Mageryu and Duluqi. Despite these challenges, the city of Kipsa, the largest in the region, has cultivated a distinctive culinary tradition that reflects its unique environment and cultural heritage. Kipsa is well known for the ferocity of its warriors and as the center of rakeshim production. Rakeshim is a fabric, woven from thin strands of gold interwoven with either linen or silk. Its construction is incredibly complex and the secret to its creation, a jealously guarded secret among the five families which produce it.

Central to Kipsian cuisine is the use of local herbs and spices, hearty grains, and a pronounced affinity for sweetness. A defining feature of Kipsian cooking is the use of large subterranean ovens called Bahasayu. The Bahasayu enables slow, even cooking, ideal for preparing the region’s staple dishes. These ovens, essential for traditional cooking, are found in nearly every home, typical appearing either in courtyards or in front of homes. On rare occasions two or more homes may share one Bahasayu. When a couple marries, it is customary for them to dig a Bahasayu as part of claiming their new home. Additionally, in some cases, the remains of deceased ancestors are interred beneath these ovens, after their customary exposure to the elements, linking the living with their ancestors. Because these ovens are so central to domestic life, they are often the target of curses. A disgruntled Kipsian may place a or crack a curse tablet over a rival’s Bahasayu in order to bring them misfortune.

Kipsian cuisine uses many of the same spices and herbs as their Kotsian cousins, though with a distinct preference from cumin and coriander over cinnamon.

Due to the arid environment and lack of major irrigation, vegetable cultivation is relatively sparse, and what vegetables and fruits are available are often preserved in some way. Fresh vegetables are a luxury typically reserved for the wealthy. Rather Kipsian cuisine has come to rely on a particularly robust strain of barley. While it is able to withstand the dry and hot climate, this barley produces an often chewy and unpleasant product. As a result, Kipsian cuisine is often maligned for the poor quality of its bread and those that can afford it prefer to import wheat from the Felic Plains and Kotsa. One use of this otherwise unpleasant barley is Takuriha (stemming from the Duluqi language, meaning “beer soup”), a soup made from fermented grains mixed with yogurt and herbs and spices. The resulting dish is served cool or room temperature and is typically eaten after the sun has set. The soup is mildly alcoholic. Kipuhi, is a salad also featuring barley pearls mixed with chopped herbs, olive oil, and regalu juice. This may be supplemented with dried or shredded meats as well as chickpeas or other vegetables in order to create a more complete and hearty meal.

Kelami, a local variety of flatbread, is historically baked on hot stones or now more commonly, on the roof of the bahasayu. To counteract the quality of the barley, it is typically served with various dips and spreads, such as Muhamara, a rich paste made from roasted chickpeas, walnuts, and olive oil.

Cucumbers are beloved as a snack, particularly during the hotter season, as they are thought to cool the body. They are served typically in salad composed of cucumber, mint, vinegar, and garlic. When fresh cucumbers are not available, they are pickled in vinegar, alongside various herbs and spices. Pickled vegetables and meats, as well as bird’s eggs and fruits, are integral the Kipsian diet. Pickled vegetables and herbs often act as condiments of sorts, placed on the table to be added to other dishes. Pickled foods are so common that they typically act in place of vinegar as a topping.

Meat, though not a daily staple, is carefully prepared when used. Goats are the primary source of protein. One dish, Ishukjiraru, is a dish made with intentionally spoiled meat. Goat meat is packed in herbs, vinegar, and fat (typically rendered goat fat) inside of a large jar and is allowed to sit, sometimes for weeks at a time. The resulting product is cleaned and then utilized in a number of dishes, including stews and as a shredded meat added to salads and on flatbreads. The taste is quite sour and funky and can be an acquired taste. Kipsiansalso raise a unique breed of horned-rabbit well-suited to the desert environment. Heards of these wiry creatures can be seen roaming from bush to bush, guided by desert shepherds. Gukeki (from the Mageryu for “gift”), is served for special occasions, as its use of fresh vegetables make it a relative luxury. It is a vegetable stew made with ingredients like eggplant and onions, which is cooked in large clay pots and may also include the shredded goat, spinach, and other ingredients.

Honey is a prominent ingredient in Kipsian cuisine, the Kipsa itself being famed for its many hives. It is used as a condiment in various forms, including Habazibi, a salted and spiced variety with a hint of Lisijir for subtle heat. One result of this abundance of honey is the Kipsian love of mead and honeyed wine or beer. Kipsians have a reputation as heavy drinkers, drinking more of these beverages than any other Kishite people. The god of beer, Fepaha, is honored, and many banquets are dedicated to celebrating this drink.

Kipsians have a notable sweet tooth, with foods often heavily sweetened with honey or date syrup. Desserts such as Kepechi (the Kipsian equivalent of kipsha), barley cakes soaked in a honey and regalu syrup, and Gelukepi, a sweet treat made from slow-cooked fruits (primarily dates and figs), are popular and enjoyed with a strong tea made from mint and coriander, with “laughing leaf” a mild intoxicant, also occasionally added.

Kipsian food shows a heavy influence from indigenous cuisines.

7. The Makurian Steppe: Shebal

The Makurian steppe is massive, spreading over most of western Macia. Only a tiny sliver of that vast extent falls in Kishetal. Trees are almost entirely absent. Vast expanses of grass-covered hills define the area. To the north of the steppe is the Shabalic forest, and to the south is the Jezaaic desert. The largest of the Makurian cities is Shebal, once the homeland of the Ugri Tribe, the city still is the target of many repeated attacks by Makurian tribes. Despite its remoteness, silver mines and soil rich in gems, have made Shebal uncharacteristically rich, particularly considering that it is the least populous of all the regional "capitals".

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Shebalian cuisine takes heavy inspiration from that of the western Makurian tribes. This translates to a cuisine heavily built on the consumption of meat and dairy, and a prevalence towards soups and stews. It is said derisively of the Shebalians, that they eat horse meat stew for dinner and horse bone soup for dessert. It is true that the Shebalians, and the people of the east in general, are the only region of Kishetal in which horse and donkey/ass are eaten regularly. Meat, cheese, and milk from these animals are eaten in large quantities. Despite this the Shebalians are known for their deep connection with the horses, famed as charioteers and riders. The slaughtering of a horse is a sober affair, typically attended to by a priest of the god Ikeshpaha (the God of wealth and the steppe) and undertaken with the utmost care. The first dish to be prepared from the horse or ass, is Jabolibi a thick porridge consisting of blood as well as either wheat berries or rice. This is typically consumed by warriors, kings, and pregnant women.

Shebalians and eastern Kishites in general eat more dairy than any other Kishites, with cheese, yogurt, butter, milk, and various fermented curd products accounting for much of the diet. Jiraba is a variety of curd, first heavily fermented and then dried until hard and crunchy. This is then crushed and sprinkled on other dishes.

Fresh vegetables are rare as the environment is ill-suited to agricultural, as a result most vegetables are imported from the west or from lands to the south. As a result of this, green vegetables with short shelf-lives are highly rare and are seen as a delicacy. Root vegetables like carrots, beets, turnips, and parsnips are common and appear often in Shebalian dishes or may be served as a side. Shebalians cuisine does make use of lentils as their primary legume of choice.

One food item unique to Shebal and the surrounding area, is rice. Rice is an import from the east, typically carried over vast miles by traders from Sinria, Mu, and other places. The palace buys vast quantities of rice and use it often as a form of payment. Rice is steamed and served with meat, butter, and spices, or else may be added to broths to make them hearty and filling.

The Origins of Rice in Shebal According to legend the origins of rice in Shebal come from not long after the foundation of Kishetal by the demigod Tamel. The first king of Shebal, then a vassal of Tamel, was Haman the Thrice-Bearded. Haman had one son, Hiru the Brilliant. Said to be blessed with all the radiance of the silver of the steppe, it is typically agreed among scholars and poets that Hiru was the most beautiful of all Kishites. His statues and images can be found throughout Kishetal, and particularly in the east. Said to have the strength and size of a great warrior, and the face of a lovely maiden, many flocked to see Hiru. Men and women alike from countless nameless land, travelled many miles, bearing gifts of gold and silver, perfume and spice, to marry or just to sit with the beautiful prince. Even spirits and forestfolks came before him, the dragon, Eker, offered the entirety of the land of Ukat just to have the beautiful prince in his home. Those that were not cowed by his beauty, plead and promised him wealth, love, and many children. They sang of his beauty. Hiru, however refused all gifts, and turned away all suitors, for all they could see was his beauty.

One day the Sinrian King, Jiparitu (Juparvi in his own tongue) came to play his own card, wishing for Hiru to be his lover and cupholder. Jiparitu, who the called The Mount of Rendigra (A Sinrian Thunder God), was the son of the Demigod, Ranaya. He was broad as an ox, the hands like bear paws. He was great warrior who had killed his 5 older brothers in battle for the right to sit upon the throne of his father's city. He presented the youth with the three elephants, ten rolls of silk, five pounds of saffron, and three golden statues, each as large as a man. Yet, Hiru refused. Enraged, Jiparitu stormed from the palace, only to return later that night, along with his plantbrew. They drugged Hiru and ferried him away, over the steppe and the high mountain, to his palace in Sinria. There he bedecked the prince in flowers and silks, and cherished his beauty, and made him his lover, though unwilling. But soon he grew jealous as he saw the looks of awe and lust on the faces of his servants and court. And so he had Hiru's face, bound tight in cords of silk and wool, locked with chains of bronze and copper, so that none could look upon his face but he. He ordered that his body be covered in filth and dressed , save for when it came time for the king to look upon him, so that no other could see his treasure. He then locked the prince in a tower of white stone and gold.

When King Haman heard of his son's abduction, he marched, joined by his brother's the rulers of Bur and Kutar, and 67 of Hiru's former suitors and their men to the lands of king Jiparitu. There they laid siege to the castle for 67 days, and on each day, it is said that one of the suitors was killed. While the siege raged outside Hiru remained trapped in his tower, his only company being wicked Jiparitu and the slave, Safeniri (Savanri in her own tongue). Both could enter the tower only by an entrance, hidden so that none but they could find it. Safeniri, a peasant girl, born of two rice farmers, fed him scraps of the jungle fowl (chicken), crusts of bread, and green leaves, for these are all that Jiparitu permitted he be fed, lest the beauty of his body be marred by fat. And yet, in secret, she also brought to him, a porridge, made from rice, cinnamon, milk, waweshi (sugar, native to the kingdoms of Sinria, but quite rare in Kishetal) and coconut which she called kerumipiya (Kerumpaja in her native tongue) as well as bowls of rice and butter, for this is all that she, a slave, could afford. She had never seen Hiru's face, and knew nothing of his famed beauty. Hiru longed for her company, and though he had never seen her face, blinded as he was by the cloth around his face, he began to fall in love with her, and she with him. When word of the siege reached the ears of Hiru and Safeniri, together they concocted a plan to free Hiru and to return him to his father. Outside of the tower, in great bunches, grew "laughing leaf" which dulls the mind and weakens the balance. Its effects are strong but its taste is bitter. When next Jiparitu came into his tower to gaze upon his treasure, Safeniri waited there with Hiru. As always Jiparitu insisted that his guards wait outside of the tower, lest they recieve the pleasure of gazing upon Hiru's beauty. It was only as Jiparitu ordered the clothes removed and the filth wiped away, that Safeniri finally saw him truly. And though she was awed, she had already long since fell in the love with the imprisoned prince.

Though still handsome beyond measure, his face had been marked by seven cuts where the cloth had been bound too tight, and from then on he was known as Hiru of the Seven Scars. While Jiparitu marveled over his captive, Safeniri approached him and offered him a bowl of the kerumipiya, one which she had tainted with the laughing leaf, its bitterness covered by the sweet sugar and milk. The king ate and as he ate, he became joyous and wild. So wild that he spilled the rice upon his fine clothes. Safeniri then suggested that the king undress, less his expensive clothing be ruined by his rice. And so he did, undressed down to his undergarments, his heavy robe falling at his feet. And Safeniri sang and pounded upon the bottom of the clay pot like a drum. Saferniri then opened the door, beyond which were the stairs which spiralled up the tower. Jiparitu danced, entranced by her beautiful voice. His feet became tangled in his discarded robe, and his mind too clouded to stop himself, he fell, tumbling down the hundred stairs of the tower, until he lie at the bottom, dead. Saferniri then took the kings discarded robe, and tore the jewels and gold from it, she smeared it with filth and grime, until it looked like a beggars cape. This she covered Hiru in and guided him down the tower and through the secret entrance. When they people looked, they saw only a peasant woman, guiding a beggar, his face hidden.

She lead him past the city walls, to where his father and uncles sat in their camp, bereft, for the last of the suitors had been slain by arrow and sling. King Haman was so joyous upon seeing his son that he fell to his knees and sang praises to the gods of Kishetal and the Steppe. And yet he was shocked, when the first words that Hiru spoke to him, were to say that he had found a wife. Haman was scandalized by the suggestion that his son, the prince, would marry a slave girl. He demanded to know what Safeniri’s family could possibly offer to warrant such a union with one as magnificent and beautiful as Hiru when all other suitors had offered gold, silver, and land. Love and rice, was all that Safeniri could offer. Haman was unimpressed by this seemingly simple answer.

Determined to prove her worth, Safeniri crept back into the city, and returned to her home. With the help of her parents, prepared a pot of kerumipiya, the finest ever made. They used fruit plucked from the trees, milk fresh from the cow, and sugar as white as snow. When she presented this exceptional dish to Haman and his brothers, they were astonished by its exquisite taste, unlike anything they had ever eaten. Haman, along with his brothers, was deeply moved by the dish and by Hiru's story of Safeniri's cunning and dedication. Relenting, he agreed that a spouse capable of creating such a remarkable meal deserved to be wed to his son. However, he imposed one condition: Safeniri was to see that Hiru was presented with a bowl of kerumipiya every day until he was guided into the next life. The wedding that followed was a grand celebration. To meet Haman's stipulation, rice and other eastern goods were brought from distant lands to Shebal. Soon, rice, and particularly kerumipiya, became symbols of wealth and love, often featured at weddings. When Haman passed away, Hiru ascended to the throne and ruled with wisdom and kindness, particularly towards slaves and captives. Safeniri honored her promise, and upon Hiru’s death, it was said that she joined him on the very same day. Many stories of both Hiru and Safeniri now fill Kishite Folklore, with the wisdom of Safeniri being particularly renowned. Many queens and princesses, particularly those in the east of Kishetal may take the title Lusafeniri or "Of Safeniri/ Safeniri-Like" in order to emphasis their wisdom and prowess.

In Shebal today, while still reliant on imported rice, kerumipiya has adapted to local ingredients. Instead of sugar and coconut, it’s sweetened with honey and flavored with dried fruits such as figs and apricots, and often uses horse or donkey milk as opposed to cow milk. A sprinkle of ground cinnamon might be added for extra flavor. Kerumipiya is commonly eaten as a dessert, or during special occasions. It remains a popular dish at weddings and many lovesick youths may try to woe potential partners with a steaming bowl. Rice is often used a sacrifice to the god of wealth, Ikeshpaha, its many grains believed to represent plenty. Rice sprinkled around the house is believed to ward of wicked spirits, and disease as it is believed that it "absorbs" evil.

One benefit of its eastern location is that Shebal and the surrounding cities are often the first to receive exotic spices carried from Mu and Sinria, often at far less cost than their western cousins. This is led to a cousin, which well simplistic at first glance, is highly complex in its flavors. Soups such as the goat-based, Habisichiarsoni (The Soup that Awakens the Sleeping God) may use dozens of different spices including turmeric, cumin, pepper (long and black), mustard, cardamom, lime leaf, etc, in a complex and masterful way. Easterners who journey to the west, well excited by the access to wheat and vegetables, often bemoan the perceived blandness, with only Sehaic food being seen as "properly spiced". Shebalian cuisine's heavy use of lisijir and other spices make it perhaps the only cuisine which could be considered "spicy" by Earthly standards.

Another quirk of Shebalian cuisine and of the steppe is that it is the only region which prefers butter as its primary fat, this has earned easterners the somewhat derogatory nickname "butter-eaters" by their western cousins, where the use of butter is often viewed as barbaric. Butter is often used as a condiment, melted and added to soups, bread or other dishes.

The diet of the Shebalians is the least reliant on bread of any Kishite culture, with some families going several days without eating bread. When bread is consumed, it often uses rye, rather than the barley or wheat preferred on the other side of the mountains. The result is dense and nutty and works well with the fatty and meaty cuisine of the steppe. Errikili is a knotted bread made from rye flour, often noted for its somewhat phallic appearance. It is typically used to dip in soups, or else may be eaten with butter and imported spices.

Talakili has become increasingly common in Shebalian cuisine, imported from Kotsa. In Shebal it is often added to soups and broths and is thicker and heartier then its southern equivalent. One particular rendition of Shebalian Talakili called Irkipikiki (literally "pregnant thing") is stuffed with meat and cheese, somewhat similar to a ravioli.

While still identifiably Kishite in its presentation and cooking styles, the components of Shebalian cuisine are largely foreign. Its base ingredients are of the Makurian steppe, while its use of spice shows heavy influence from the lands of the Great Southern Kingdoms (Baban and Ukkaria), Sinria, and even lands far to the east like Pya, Mu, and Xianti.

And that's that! A pretty barebones explanation of the differences between the cuisines of different parts of Kishetal. Let me know if you have any other questions about any of these cuisines/dishes! Maybe one day I'll do something similar with the regional cuisines of places like Korithia, Shabala, Pyria, and Apuna.

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[qualitexglobal]

[mammasaale]

We are an Indian spices manufacturing company located in Delhi, India, Providing Blended Spices, Grounded Spices, Seeds Spices, Whole Spices.

Looking for distributorship & Dealership, Visit us to know more about Us.

[petermorwood]

The Value of Shopping Around for Spices...

We needed to refill some basic spices, caraway wasn't available from our usual on-line (Asian) source, so I opened my Bookmarks, shopped around - and what I discovered was startling.

I don't know how well this "shop around" advice applies to anywhere else, but it certainly made a difference here in Ireland.

For reference, each spice is a 500g (17.6 oz) pack, or smaller packs to 500g total.

Caraway          €4.77 Coriander        €4.41 Flaked Chilli   €6.46 Black Pepper  €6.92

Total including €6.00 shipping = €28.56

Those came from Nuts In Bulk (who do a lot more than just nuts).

Here are a couple (there were about half a dozen) of alternatives.

Caraway          €7.50 Coriander        €6.00 Flaked Chilli   €10.00 Black Pepper €9.48

Total including €6.00 shipping = €38.98

Caraway          €11.70 Coriander        €8.50 Flaked Chilli   €19.50 Black Pepper €14.75

Total including €7.95 shipping = €62.40 (!)

Side-note 1: I checked the small print to ensure pricier spices weren't superior to cheaper ones, for instance being named chillis ("Birds-eye" / "Kashmir" etc.) or named black peppers ("Sarawak" / "Madagascar" etc.) rather than basic generics.

They weren't.

Side-note 2: while the most expensive place is not IMO somewhere to buy basic spices, it has always stocked interesting exotic and unusual things we've never seen anywhere else, so there's that.

But all things considered, I don't feel in the least bit stingy or penny-pinching when I think my search-and-comparison was twenty minutes Very Well Spent...

:->

[timeagainreviews]

Bursting Your Bubble

Liam Lynch once said- “The internet is a glimpse into how rude people will be in the future.” At the time it felt like just another funny little line from his song “Internet Killed the Video Star,” (not to be confused with the Limousines’ song of the same name) but nowadays it feels prophetic. Just this morning I made the mistake of reading the comments section and it’s thrown my day off considerably. From the comforts of our keyboards, we can write horrendous things. Treat strangers with contempt. It’s sometimes easy to forget there are actual people on the other end of our glowing screens. Insularity breeds contempt for the different. We live in our little bubbles.

It would be easy to blame the posters, the content creators, the influencers. A few bad apples spoil the bunch. But as psychologist Philip Zimbardo would say- don’t blame the apples, don’t blame the barrel, blame the barrel makers. The people who put the apples into the barrel in the first place. Despite everything Russell T Davies’ “Dot and Bubble,” is trying to say, one question hangs over it and the rest of this season- who is the barrel maker? Things in Finetime are anything but fine, but by whose design? One might assume it’s Susan Twist’s character, but who is she? This is the overarching question of season one, but is the question beginning to feel a bit drawn out?

From the outset, “Dot and Bubble,” acts as a sort of Black Mirror version of “Blink.” We’re given a young blonde woman who finds herself in a dangerous situation that requires her to look at something she would usually ignore. All the while, the Doctor and his companion are forced to talk to the young woman through a screen. The difference here is that while Sally Sparrow had gumption, Lindy Pepper-Bean is about as useful as a wicker toilet. She lives in “Finetime,” an actual bubbled world. Her “Dot,” device then creates yet another bubble around her head. It’s bubble inception. The bubble tells her when to wake up, how to walk, and even when to pee. (Shout out to my boy Dr Pee!) Because of this, Lindy lives an unobserved life where hard questions need not bother her.

Everything about Finetime is a hyper-realistic nightmare of overstimulation. It’s like “A Clockwork Orange,” meets “The Stepford Wives.” Lindy can ignore her problems when there’s always a new Ricky September video on the horizon. As Frank from Brad Neely’s “The Professor Brothers” said- “We danced like those people in the hyper-tight light of fried chicken commercials.” Lindy and her “friends,” can completely ignore the fact that their friends have slowly begun disappearing. They don’t even seem to notice when they’re the only ones in the room, how would they notice gigantic slugs eating each other?

With Ncuti Gatwa away filming season four of “Sex Education,” the show had to do a couple Doctor-lite episodes. These are usually hit-or-miss among fans, but as “Blink,” proved back in 2007, they can become fan favourites. The Doctor and Ruby’s roles are reduced, but this episode does a good job of making them feel like a recurring part of the story. Even though they spend the bulk of the episode in what looks like the intro to “The Brady Bunch,” it never feels like we’re being underserved.

Lindy’s friends float around her like talking heads in her holographic bubble. But she keeps getting interrupted by the Doctor and his bad vibes. Even though Ruby is also invading her privacy despite not being on her friend list, Lindy is willing to hear her out. We’re not told why up front, but there is a reason Lindy can believe Ruby might feasibly be tech support, but the Doctor could not. Due to Lindy’s impatience, Ruby is forced to talk to Lindy as if she were a child, but not so much that she catches on. Anyone who stops Lindy from either working or playing is a massive drag to her. She really just wants Ruby and the Doctor to go away. How do they not know how society works? Why are they asking such stupid questions when the answers have been drilled into everyone since they were children?

We learn that Lindy’s mother is Penny Pepper-Bean, but she’s actually another Susan Twist cameo, so she could be anyone. Thankfully, both the Doctor and Ruby recognise her this time, and it’s not in an aborted timeline. I saw someone mention on Facebook today that they felt the Doctor recognising her felt rushed, and I couldn’t disagree more. It was high time we got something from this storyline. While it has been nice to genuinely be curious about Doctor Who’s mysteries again, this one has felt like a lot of the same. With the Doctor and Ruby now clued in, we have somewhere else to go in the future. Maybe now Susan Twist will come out from behind the mask and we can learn something more about her. Maybe now the Doctor will start looking into her involvement.

I’m usually not interested in fan theories as they’re often filler content when YouTubers and bloggers don’t have anything else to talk about. But here I believe we’ve been given quite a lot to work with to formulate a theory or two. I know I said “It’s probably not the Rani because it’s never the Rani,” but at this point, if she’s not the Rani, they’ve wasted their biggest opportunity to reintroduce audiences to her that the show has ever had. At this point, it would be weird if she wasn’t the Rani. The things she’s been involved with have all of her usual hallmarks. We have genetic manipulation in “Space Babies,” humans are being treated like lab rats in “Dot and Bubble,” and then there’s the whole disguising yourself in plain sight aspect. At this point, the bigger question isn’t whether or not she’s the Rani. The bigger question is why wouldn’t she be? Why would the show come so close to revealing her and then pull back?

Ruby finally convinces Lindy to look beyond her bubble where she witnesses her co-worker being eaten by one of the Man-Traps. Usually Lindy could just ask her Dot to guide her to safety, but for some reason, it feels more than ready to direct her right into the open mouth of a Man-Trap. Lindy must walk without the aid of her Dot, and man does she suck at it. She quite literally cannot walk talk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Part of me was worried the episode was going to spend all of its time making fun of young people and their phones. It’s cliched and honestly, I’m tired of it. But within the context of the episode, Davies isn’t attempting a technophobic condescension toward the youth of today. Instead, the episode endeavours to highlight the danger of relinquishing your thoughts and actions to outside entities. If we let others tell us what to like, who to like, or how to live, you may as well become worm food.

Having narrowly escaped death by slug, Lindy is forced to bumble about outside while the Doctor and Ruby direct her like the most exasperated form of Google Maps ever. An interesting aspect of this scene that I’ve not heard anyone talk about is the greenish-blue blood seen from a body being dragged away. You may not know what I’m talking about, but I’ll post a picture below. You may look at that and say “That’s not blood, that’s slug goo.” But where else in the episode do we actually see the Man-Traps leave behind any kind of snail trail? I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think the people of Finetime are blue-blooded, and considering what we learn about them, it makes sense. Blue blood is often a symbol for aristocracy, but it can also be used as a way to imply an inbred nature. In this case, we could infer that the citizens have blue blood because they don’t “dilute,” it with the blood of non-white people. Oh did I not mention the Finetimers are racists? More on that in a bit.

Throughout most of this episode, only one of Lindy’s friends seems to be concerned with the fact that people are going missing, and that’s Gothic Paul. Gothic Paul was a nice little addition to the episode because a trans man plays him and they didn’t make a big deal about it. He wasn’t even killed for being trans. He was killed for being delicious and too dumb to notice. A diversity win! Compare this to Chibnall’s gay representation where a character says “By the way, I’m gay,” and then spiders eat her face. LGBTQ+ people are allowed to exist in such a manner that it doesn’t feel like “kill your gays,” when they kill our gays. Representation has been so good that it’s not even problematic that a drag queen made a child disappear. You know, the thing all of those conservatives are worried about with drag story hour? That’s just the Maestro’s schtick. 

After the battery in Lindy’s Dot goes dead, she’s basically a sitting duck. That is until she hears a familiar voice call out. A voice belonging to none other than the dreamy Ricky September. Maybe it’s the insular nature of being a pop star, but Ricky isn’t bogged down by his Dot. Instead, he’s learned to appreciate existing offline. Because of this, Ricky reads things about their people’s history. And even luckier for Lindy, Ricky can actually walk and move about in the world. After a bit of starstruck awe, Lindy takes his hand as he leads her away from danger. It’s almost sweet if you don’t suspect what’s coming.

Ricky leads Lindy to Plaza 55 where a door leading to the river flowing beneath the bubble can lead them out into the Wild Woods. Knowing a bit about coding, Ricky simply needs to type in two digits every five seconds and the door will come open eventually. With no Man-Traps about, Lindy needs only to sit tight and let Ricky work his magic. While she waits, Lindy is able to charge her Dot which enables the Doctor and Ruby to contact her again. The Doctor infers that the Dots can see the Man-Traps, but willfully encourage people to walk directly into their mouths. As it turns out, the Dot hates Lindy and her friends about as much as the audience does. The AI has gone rogue and it’s taking these airheads with it. Sadly, this is also when the episode starts to get bogged down by the season's overarching plot.

The Doctor deduces that the Man-Traps are eating the people in alphabetical order. This leads him to believe that the AI must have created the Man-Traps, otherwise they would eat whoever, whenever. The reason I feel this feels bogged down by the overarching plot is that I can’t imagine these golfball-sized Dots being capable of growing creatures in a laboratory. The most they can do against Ricky and Lindy is act as a projectile. They don’t even have thumbs. Because of this, it’s logical to imagine that there is a third party involved. It’s not hard to imagine who that third party is, considering Susan Twist’s cameo. But in the meantime, we as an audience are left in a state of limbo where this is either part of some greater plan, or an unsatisfying plothole. Albeit, not an incredibly episode-breaking one. After all, the Daleks manage quite a bit with only a plunger.

With Lindy’s Dot trying to bash their brains in and Lindy being next in line, alphabetically speaking, we are finally introduced to who Lindy actually is as person. Using her mega fan knowledge about Ricky September, she informs the Dot that Ricky’s name is a stage name and his real name is Coombes. Ricky can barely believe the betrayal from the woman he’s tried so very hard to save. But her gamble pays off as the Dot refocuses its attention on Ricky, giving Lindy enough time to escape to the river while the Dot strikes down poor Ricky. As face turns go, this is one of the worst in Doctor Who history. However, it’s not entirely without warning. Certain lines of dialogue have clued us in to Lindy’s true nature throughout the episode.

Before we leave him behind like Lindy so callously does, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Ricky September, as I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him. It was hard to tell what the Dot does to Ricky because the camera looks away, but he could have survived. Why I think this is because they spend a lot of time building Ricky up as a character. Both the Doctor and Ruby have shown a romantic interest in him. There have even been rumours that there would be a sort of love triangle between the Doctor, Ruby, and Ruby’s boyfriend. On top of that, we’ve got another blonde-haired blue-eyed person with RS for initials. Even further, the S in both names indicates a point in time- September and Sunday. And just because Ricky comes from a community of racists doesn’t mean he is one. Like he said, he does a lot of reading. Perhaps he’s learned better. Or I’m wrong and he has a Dot-sized hole in his head.

Finally, we get to see the Doctor and Ruby in the flesh. Even more finally, we get to see them both in the costumes they wore in their first costume reveal! Lindy gives the Doctor and Ruby some shitty excuse about Ricky turning back to save more people. She even gives a begrudging thank you to them, but ultimately can’t bring herself to let the Doctor help her or her friends. Lindy and her fellow survivors can’t bring themselves to interact with the Doctor because he’s black. It’s as heartbreaking for the Doctor as it is infuriating to Ruby who can only stand there and watch her friend experience this ugliness. But the Doctor is still the Doctor and he’s a bigger man than their small minds. He continues holding out a lifeline to some of the most undeserving group of spoiled narcissists to ever grace the screen of Doctor Who.

I’ve seen people complain that the Doctor does this. That it doesn’t mesh with the same character who once punched a man who was racist toward Bill. But that was the Doctor drawing a line and defending his friend’s honour. The Doctor’s compassion is so great that he’s willing to forego his sense of self-respect to save lives. This is the same man who tries to reason with racist genocidal aliens, he doesn’t stop just because they look human. I know I would have let them die, but the Doctor is a better person than me. That’s not to say any of this is easy for him. It very clearly cuts him to his core. Ncuti Gatwa gives an earth-shattering performance here, and when you consider this is the first scene he filmed after the Giggle, it’s fucking astounding. This is the exact type of range I was hoping they would bring to his character.

As a white member of the audience, I am left with a lot of uncomfortable realisations. Like, I barely batted an eye at the fact that Lindy’s friends were all white. I’m also left wondering how many people the Doctor has saved in the past who might have also treated a black Doctor differently. But I also feel like this ending took me by surprise for a different reason than my own ignorance. I simply never expected Doctor Who to go there. The topic of racism is not new to Doctor Who. Martha experiences quite a bit of it, especially in “Human Nature.” But even their more recent attempt with “Rosa,” fell short by implying that in 3000 years, no other black person would stand up for their rights. It was an oversimplification of the civil rights movement that left me wondering if Doctor Who was capable of tackling such heavy issues. I never felt like the show properly addressed the Doctor being a woman, so believe me when I say how much I appreciate them addressing the Doctor’s race. Even further, I loved that it ultimately isn’t the Doctor who will suffer from their racism. Their prejudice has doomed them without anyone else’s help.

It’s weird to look at this episode on the TARDIS wiki and see the Dots and Man-Traps listed as the main enemy. Because really, it’s Lindy who is the real monster. It’s Hoochy Pie and her wack-ass trumpet. Also, can we not come up with a better name than Man-Trap? What about Erascists? They erase e-racists. Just some good little sluggy bois taking out the trash. I stan a king. The Dots hate those evil trust fund dickweeds, and honestly, same. Evidently, the name Man-Trap was introduced in Doctor Who Unleashed, which for the 4th week in a row, I’ve forgotten to watch. One of the side-effects of Doctor Who’s screwy release schedule is that now I completely forget Doctor Who Unleashed even exists. One benefit, however, is that I often get to rewatch the episodes the next day with my partners who didn’t want to stay up late. The benefit is that I’ll notice things I missed the first time. It also allows me to experience the stories for what they are, as opposed to what I expected them to be.

Being able to watch “Dot and Bubble,” with hindsight has given me an even greater appreciation for this story. Over time, I feel people will eventually regard it as one of Davies’ best. Its tone and themes remind me of something you would find in the Seventh Doctor era, which is high praise coming from me. Ricky feels like the promise of a character like Pex from “Paradise Towers,” properly realised. Hopefully, like the graffiti says- “Pex lives.” Dylan Holmes Williams does a fabulous job directing as the episode wastes nothing. It’s a Doctor-lite episode that manages not to waste a moment of screen time with the Doctor. In less than five minutes, Gatwa manages to be the command performance in an episode of solid performances. But much like “The Fugitive of the Judoon,” this strong episode remains feeling unresolved due to the plotline still hanging over its head. Once we have the hindsight of knowing how it fits into the greater storyline, it could appreciate in value. One can only hope.

[darsynia]

Don't Read the Last Page Chapter 2

Summary: Your friend Nat claims her plan to distract Tony Stark with her sex appeal isn't working, so she wants you to do it with your brain--and a sexy red dress. Things start out completely over your head and get more complicated when SHIELD becomes involved.

Length/Warnings: 4,200 | none (future smut!!)

Masterlist | MCU Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | Prev | Next

Excerpt:

"Go, please, Mr. Stark. Enjoy your party.”

“It’s Tony, and I would, if I didn’t think you’d bolt the second I turn my back."

“Don’t worry about that, there’s still a lot of your house technology I want to see,” you blurt out, looking with honest interest at the lit-up interior of his famous mansion. When you hadn’t been stressed out about the dress, the spy agency, and possibly letting Natasha down, you really have been excited to catch a glimpse of Stark’s innovations in situ.

His hand tightens on your arm as he bursts into genuine laughter, pulling your focus back to him. “You know, I think you’re the first woman who hasn’t tried to use that line to get into bed with me!”

“Oh God,” you breathe, stumbling back against the wall. What are you doing here? How did you think you had the skills to attend something like this??

Chapter Two: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

When your car stops, you see that you’re in a short line of other vehicles making their way up to the entrance to Stark’s mansion. It gives you a chance to text Natasha about the crazy conversation you just had with her boss. The program Nat uses to text with you is some weird, proprietary one that makes you pick your nickname new each time. You use the same one as usual, CATnip, but Nat’s is always different, usually dependent on her mood.

CATnip: Your boss wants to recruit me to be a freaking sex spy, and I will never trust you again

TrustTasha: Maybe you misunderstood the assignment?

CATnip: I really don’t think so. He told me that SHIELD wants to keep him from getting too close to his CEO, like I’m in any way capable of competing with Pepper Potts! I’m in way over my depth here.

TrustTasha: Is this you exaggerating for effect or is that really what he said?

CATnip: I am 10% exaggerating. The car is pulling up.

The car stops, and you are gathering up your courage when someone opens the door for you and holds out a hand. You step out, tucking your phone into the gold clutch you brought, wishing you’d thought to check yourself in any kind of mirror in between being trust-stomped by Nick Fury and this moment. As you walk toward the door, you watch your feet rather than the scene in front of you, feeling very much like the ‘barely scraping by’ engineer who lives above her own storefront that you are.

“Excuse me?” a man says, and you look up. He’s a heavyset man, but you suspect that a lot of the bulk is actually muscle. The man’s wearing a black suit and an authoritative expression. He does a bit of a double take on looking at your outfit, and you look down to make sure the gold shawl is covering what you want it to be. “Trying to stand out, nice,” he says appreciatively. “Go on in.”

“Not really,” you mutter to yourself, but you do know your dress is sending a particular message. “You don’t need a name or something?” you ask him. It’s one last bite at your own paw to get out of the trap you’ve been placed in. If it doesn’t work, well, at least the bait is nice.

He laughs and looks back down at the slit in your dress. “I mean, if you want to give me a name, I certainly wouldn’t refuse it.”

For a long, horrible second you freeze as your brain dusts off the correct lines of code. This is a party, and he probably thought you were offering your name to him! Thankfully, it’s a popular party, and you’re jostled from behind by guests more eager to get in than you are. You take the opportunity to duck your head down and scurry in the door.

Once inside, it seems like every woman in sight is wearing black. You’re the only one in red and the only one with any gold as a part of your outfit. Now you understand what the man meant about standing out. You scan the room looking for Nat so you can give her a piece of your mind. Two of the dresses you were choosing between had been black! When you see her, you slip between through a group of young blonde giggling women, and call out.

“Excuse me, Miss?”

Nat clearly recognizes your voice, because when she turns around, her expression is amused. “Yes? Were you looking for a place to hang up your wrap?”

“Not at all,” you say politely, glaring at her. “Maybe a location for the bathroom?”

“Miss Rushman, please tell me you and the lady in red are friends?” someone behind you asks. You recognize who it is and close your eyes, caught between excitement and regret.

“I don’t think I’ve ever won a bet this quickly in my life,” Natasha crows. She’s holding herself in such a unique way, as if she’s meant to be on display, but not know it? It would be compelling if you weren’t ready to toss her and her entire organization off the cliff face the house is built on.

The thing is, you don’t want to be impolite, and you did hope to at least meet the man once in your life, so you slowly turn around to greet Tony Stark. He’s wearing slick gray dress pants, a matching suit jacket, and a mottled maroon shirt that definitely costs a lot of money, if the way it’s clearly been tailored to fit over the glow of his ARC reactor is any indication. Your eyes are caught by that glow right away, but you’re brought out of your fascination by the sound of him clearing his throat.

You look up into Stark’s eyes, and you’re even more startled by the obvious interest you can see in them.

“A room full of people here to celebrate my birthday, and you’re the only one in red,” he says warmly. In most of his public appearances he comes across as sarcastic, combative, or arrogant. Right now he seems almost lit from within, like his whole body is smiling. The man is the very embodiment of charisma.

“It seemed like an obvious choice, but--” you look around at the rest of the partygoers, some of whom are looking over at the two of you with curiosity.

“Were you planning for me to unwrap you, later?” he asks, his voice dropping in register as well as sound level.

You suck in a breath, suddenly realizing what your attempt to cover up the bodice of your dress actually looks like in this context. You drop back a step, eyes wide.

“I honestly hadn’t-- I mean--” you stammer. Stark steps close to whisper in your ear. 

“Breathe.” He turns toward the overlook on the other side of the room and jerks his head for you to follow him. “C’mon.”

“I’d rather just--” you shake your head, but to your utter surprise, he grabs one end of your gold shawl and starts backing away from you toward the door to the balcony. Stark’s expression is smug; whether you stay still and let him have his dramatic dress reveal or follow him outside, he obviously gets what he wants either way.

You choose the less revealing of the two and rush after him with a fist pressed tight against your heart, in case he tugs too hard. The analogy maybe hits a little close, tonight. This man whose career you’d followed for so long is completely focused on you, and you can feel his pull in more than one way. If you could chase all of the other people away and really talk to him, you’d be in heaven. Their scrutiny is what’s most upsetting to you right now. 

Another partygoer opens the door for the two of you and greets Stark, who acknowledges the man the same way a world leader might greet a diplomatic subordinate, magnanimously, as if owed the attention by virtue of his position. He walks you all the way outside to the overlook, other groups of people drifting out of his way as if it’s only natural to do so. As you keep up with him you can't help but wonder if Tony Stark has ever had to wait to see an exhibit at a museum or art gallery. Given how much scrutiny the two of you are getting, you suspect he feels more kinship with the displays than the audience.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like you might need to yarf over the side. Not used to parties?” Stark says, leaning on the wall and looking at you curiously. He lets go of the fabric of your coverup with a twist of his lips that tells you he definitely thought about yanking on it anyway.

“You know how you buck the trend of tech professionals being typically shy, introverted, and awkward around people?” you ask, looking out at the view instead of him.

“Mm hmm.”

The sheer warmth in his voice is setting your nerves on fire. Your crush is a bonfire inside of you, optimistically blazing as if it can burn away your life-long career of being tongue-tied around men.

“Well I don’t. Buck the trend, I mean.”

“You work in tech?” he says. His voice sounds closer than it did before, and you look over to see that he’s drifted over, a completely different expression on his face. It’s everything you’ve always wanted-- Tony Stark interested in you (maybe? hopefully??) for your mind. You nod. “Where do you work? What do you do?”

A group of women start singing Happy Birthday over in the main room, the one with a DJ. You must have made some kind of terrible face, because Stark laughs, reaches out a hand and rests it on your arm where you’re leaning on the wall to keep yourself standing. The touch singes your nerve endings, sending heat from the point of contact straight to your rapidly beating heart. 

You barely expected to meet the man, much less feel the way he can so easily alter your brain chemistry. 

That thought helps you focus, somehow, and you picture yourself connecting every one of your twelve social brain cells to say, “Software and mechanical engineering, mostly. I run a small, very small design firm. Go, please, Mr. Stark. Enjoy your party.”

“It’s Tony, and I would, if I didn’t think you’d bolt the second I turn my back."

“Don’t worry about that, there’s still a lot of your house technology I want to see,” you blurt out, looking with honest interest at the lit-up interior of his famous mansion. When you hadn’t been stressed out about the dress, the spy agency, and possibly letting Natasha down, you really have been excited to catch a glimpse of Stark’s innovations in situ.

His hand tightens on your arm as he bursts into genuine laughter, pulling your focus back to him. “You know, I think you’re the first woman who hasn’t tried to use that line to get into bed with me!”

“Oh God,” you breathe, stumbling back against the wall. What are you doing here? How did you think you had the skills to attend something like this??

“Hey, hey,” Stark says, stepping directly in front of you and setting a gentle hand on either of your upper arms. “Don’t fuck with my ego on my birthday, okay? You look light-headed, and not in the good way.”

You pull in a shaky breath to apologize even as your inner swoon meter heads for the clouds, but Tony fucking Stark sends it to the moon instead by setting a finger on your parted lips. You’re completely captivated by the march of emotions that cross his face-- amusement, apology, and ardor, before he lands on a sternness that is somehow sexier than any of it.

“I see how I just made it worse,” he says, stepping back with a sheepish expression. “I’m still calibrated to birthday babes, not engineering ones-- yep, that’s still-- okay,” he scrunches up his face and then grins, glancing over his shoulder to their growing audience, crossing his arms to look at you with studied curiosity. “Are you telling me you put on that dress so you could sneak into my party and ogle my… inventions?”

He has to know how well his tailored suit sets off the pinnacle of all his inventions right there in his chest!

“Not just that. I did want to meet you, I just didn’t think about--” you break off as he shoos away a few persistent, nosy guests and herds you into a more darkened area of the balcony. “This is your element, not mine,” you finally confess.

The understatement of the century.

“And if I could be in your element, what would that look like?” His tone is different now, sounding less arrogant, less persuasive, but more real.

Getting what you want shouldn’t be this easy. It feels wrong, tainted, and you back up out of a sense of responsibility, almost as a ‘fuck you’ to Nick Fury and his ability to turn the truth into something morally reprehensible.

“T-shirt and jeans. Coffee. Sitting on the floor talking about inventions. God, what am I doing here?” you groan.

“Tony!” someone calls out from inside, leaning out the glass door, obviously drunk.

Stark throws up a peace sign in reply, but he’s looking at you like a particularly interesting design problem. Natasha’s getting her way, and you feel like shit about it, because you want his attention, just not like this. Not planned, not calculated. You’d warned Nat that you were arriving, did she pull him over to stand where he would see you when you walked in? 

“Stop that,” Stark says, eyeing you with the expression of a concerned boss. “You’re starting to look queasy again. Tell you what: you want me to enjoy the party? You wanted to stand back and be a wallflower? Do that. Just don’t leave. Lemme get a chance to talk to you after you’ve loosened up a little.”

“Oh, I can’t drink! I have work to do when I get back home. It’s either that or first thing in the morning,” you laugh regretfully. “Besides, I get more shy when I drink alcohol. I’d just chameleon myself right into the woodwork.”

“You need time, you’re saying,” he murmurs, looking past you toward the ocean. A fleeting look of sadness crosses his face before he squares his shoulders and makes eye contact again, fully back in Playboy Persona. “I don’t believe you. Everyone loosens up with alcohol!” Suddenly, he snaps his fingers. “In fact, whatever you don’t drink? I will. Down your fair share or take the blame for how completely smashed I’ll get.”

Whatever it was you’d almost glimpsed has evaporated completely. Stark’s trying to corner you, just like Fury had done, and you react as you usually do in that situation. You lash out. “I think you already planned to get very drunk. You’re trying to manipulate me,” you say harshly, crossing your arms. The action pulls at your shawl, and you clutch at it.

“Sure, I’m the one manipulating you, when you show up dressed like a present for me to unwrap, playing at being uninterested,” he says, advancing on you like a predator. There’s a light in his eyes that tells you you’ve activated the reckless streak Fury warned you about, but it’s not anger, just intensity. It’s vulnerability and vanity all at once, loneliness covered by an iron carapace. “Who sent you? What’s your name? What’s your company’s name?”

“My name is Cat. My company is Envision,” you say quickly, avoiding your real name and slurring the actual name of the company into the word its name is based on. EnvisIron’s name is a play the building itself, which used to be an Iron Works. The foundry had been converted first into apartments, and then into storefronts on the bottom floor. There’s no way someone with Stark’s ego will believe that your company’s name has the word ‘Iron’ in it without that having anything to do with him, even though you and your partners named it before he ever created his first Iron Man suit.

Stark looks at you with put-on suspicion, probably because you dodged the first question. You can tell it’s fake because he’s holding back a smile even as he narrows his eyes at you. It’s really attractive, and you wish that there really was a world where you could hang out with him in scruffy clothes and chat. Nothing about the way he’s spoken to you tonight has implied the kind of classism you’ve seen people complain about from the uber rich. You already had a favorable opinion of him despite all the stories about his antics in the press, and that just raises it more.

“It was nice to meet you, Cat. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t forget, have a drink. Have a few. Save me from myself.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” you blurt out in reluctant compassion, hating both the sentiment and the comparison to what Nick Fury had said less than an hour ago.

Stark had walked away, but he stops and looks back at you. Something happens when you lock eyes; he looks caught out, as if he was planning something self-destructive, and you’ve momentarily made him reconsider. Not more than three seconds later, though, he shakes his head.

“You know what to do to stop me, Kitten,” he says. The quick smile he flashes you is defensive, hurt, and you decide that he must see you as some kind of proxy for an argument with someone else. After all, you’ve just met. You don’t know each other at all.

You watch Stark walk away from you and desperately wish something was different. You wish that Nick Fury hadn’t spoken to you. That you weren’t afraid that Stark only wants you to get drunk so he can pry your shawl off, rather than actually talk to you person to person. You wish that you didn’t care that he might want to pry the shawl off. That you actually were the kind of woman he seems to wish you were. 

You wish that Natasha hadn’t invited you at all.

Despite how overwhelmed you are, you do try.

Stark nurses a drink for the first fifteen minutes after walking away. A few partygoers try to talk to you, but their conversation is vapid and uninteresting for the most part. Mostly they want to know what Stark said to you, whether you know each other, if you’re dressed like you are for a purpose (question complete with eyebrow waggling and voices dripping with innuendo). 

You catch Stark looking over at you and noticing that your hands are still just holding your gold clutch and no drink. He holds up a finger, reaches over to snag a full glass from a server’s tray, and downs it in ten seconds. Then he points at you, making an 0 with his fingers, then at himself, holding up a 2, stripping off his jacket and tossing it behind the bar. It knocks over a bottle, and he shrugs, pulling out a bank note from his wallet and handing it over to the bartender while holding your gaze the entire time.

If you could survive taking a swing at Natasha, you almost would. This entire situation is spiraling out of control, and all you did was be yourself! 

You try to strike up a conversation with one of the waitstaff, but that can only last a short while, since you know they’re working. When you see him next, Stark’s got a third drink, and it’s half gone.

That’s when you give up and go to get a drink of your own. You ask for the weakest drink possible, of the smallest amount. The plan is to nurse it, since you know Tony Stark would figure it out if you tried to fake it. Just in case, though, you ask the bartender if he’d be willing to just hand you an empty glass to hold.

“I actually do that for alcoholics stuck at parties like this, but I can’t, not for you. Whatever competition you have going on with the boss is between the two of you.”

Everything gets much worse after only an hour.

Stark is wasted. Intellectually you know that you can’t possibly be the sole cause of the night’s decline. He’d led a chaotic public life before the kidnapping and betrayal of his mentor, but you definitely contributed to his alcoholic brinkmanship.

A half hour ago he’d disappeared for a few minutes and come back wearing some parts of his Iron Man suit. He was already drunk by then, but he was still throwing you challenging looks. Stark had set up outside not far from you, allowing a succession of giggling women to fire the force weapon in the palm of his Iron Man suit into the night air. Natasha had dodged him, and you’d seen Ms. Potts walk outside with a wrapped present and turn right back around to leave after seeing him pretend to smack one woman on the ass during the transition of handing over his gauntlet to the next one.

You’re pretty sure Stark had been trying to single you out as the only woman who hasn’t gotten to try on the gauntlet, but you aren’t influenced by that kind of challenge. The more you shrink back and look uncomfortable, the more Stark seems to lean into his demonstrably destructive behavior.

The only reason you haven’t tried to leave is the worry Stark will do something even more attention-getting to stop you.

You’ve gotten Tony Stark’s attention, all right. In the worst possible way.

“Anyone else? No? Time for the main event, then,” he says. “Everyone inside. Come on, all of you. Every last one.”

He stands by the glass door, and you slip inside among a group of women who are drunk enough to throw their arms around you as if you’ve been a part of their cadre the whole time. Stark disappears for a few minutes after that, and you head for the front door.

It’s guarded.

A well-dressed man in front of you is ushered out with polite deference, but when you try to follow him, the man in the black suit you’d met when you first arrived steps into the space.

“Sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to stay put.”

“On a spectrum of asking politely to straight up kidnapping, what am I looking at, here?” you ask, pushed to your absolute limit. At least he has the grace to look ashamed.

“Nothing so serious. How about firmly asking?” He moves towards you, and you back up out of necessity. “Here’s the thing: he’s had a rough--”

“Year?” you interrupt.

“Something like that. Asked me to make sure you stuck around. Could you do that? Not if it’ll make you miserable, or anything, but--”

“Your boss is extremely drunk,” you point out. You know what you want to say, but it’s… drastic. Still, this man does look genuinely concerned, as if Stark was his friend rather than just his employer. For all you know, he is. “Look, Mr.--”

“Hogan. I’m his bodyguard, his--” the man sighs. “Sometimes, his minder. And it sure seems like he would mind if you left early.”

You nod, biting your lip despite the lipstick. “Okay, I’m going to say this, and maybe it’ll be enough for you to kick me out.” His eyebrows shoot up, but you’re committed now. You’ve never spent so much time feeling cornered in a twenty-four hour period in your life! It looks like you might have to ask your clients to grant an extension, because you barely have any brain cells active enough to rub together-- but who are you kidding? You're totally going to wake up in about fifteen minutes, and none of this absurdist unreality will have happened. It's actually surprising how disappointed you feel at the prospect.

The bodyguard clears his throat, and you realize you've just been standing there freaking out in silence.

"Right, sorry: There are lines, and neither of us are going to cross them," you say firmly. "He’s completely wasted in there, so no matter what he thinks is going to happen tonight, I’m not a rapist, and you’re not a kidnapper, are we clear?”

There’s actual relief on Mr. Hogan’s face, which is both strange and comforting. “Yeah, we’re clear. Thank you.” The sound of breaking glass causes both of you to look over in trepidation at the main party room. Hogan pushes past you, and you follow.

Stark’s holding court at the DJ booth with a microphone. He's wearing the Iron Man suit with the faceplate flipped up, arguing loudly with Pepper Potts, whose face is a mask of miserable politeness. You can’t hear what they’re saying to each other, but Natasha comes over and starts talking to Hogan.

“Can you tell the valets that we’re going to need them in about five minutes? This powder keg is about to go off.”

“Shit, okay,” he says. “Did you catch what they’re--”

“She told everyone the party’s over, and he started complaining that she’s no fun,” Nat says, letting her gaze slide over you as she frowns back at where Stark’s stepped forward to address the crowd again. 

Hogan's body language screams concern as he says,“All right, both of you stay out of the way if the crowd starts for the door, all right? Pretty sure he’d have my ass if either of you got trampled.”

With that, the bodyguard jogs out, and you can hear him calling to other people outside, indistinct but insistent.

You’re trying to come up with something not profane to say to Natasha about how you feel about all of this when Stark shouts something about an After Party and the crowd goes wild. 

To be continued...

In this version of Tony's party, you're the only one in red! I'd like to think fate would adjust things to ensure that happens, even if it's not the version we see on screen.

[tightwadspoonies]

I am allergic to all nightshades (tomato, potato, peppers, eggplant) as well as shellfish. I'm also physically disabled, so standing at the stove or counter for long periods of time is painful. My food options are so limited as a result, and I end up relying on frozen foods more than I'd like. Any ideas?

Trail mix: Lots of things can be purchased in pre-sized pieces from bulk stores and mixed in zipper bags. I recommend dried fruit or berries without added sugar, seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, etc..), nuts, and puffed grain or cereal pieces. Making your own mix is usually a healthier and more customizable option than buying pre-made, so you can expand it out to a meal or just eat as a snack.

Meal shakes- Combine a regular smoothie recipe with some heavy cream or nut butter for more calories. These are much easier to clean up after if you use a stick blender and rinse it off immediately.

The following recipes minimize prep, or allow prep to be done at a different time than the meal will be consumed:

Sheet pan meals: Cut pieces of 2 different vegetables (sweet potato, onion, broccoli, green beans, cauliflower, etc...) and a meat (chicken, sausage links, beef, pork, etc...) into 1-inch cubes, toss in oil of choice with spices of choice (I like garlic, onion, salt, and black pepper), lay on a sheet pan, and bake until the meat is cooked through (30-45mins at 350F).

The chopping can be done seated and/or done ahead on a good day (or even purchased pre-cut at some supermarkets) and frozen (lay on a baking tray in the freezer for an hour, then put in a zipper bag) for a quick meal on a bad day. You can cut down on dishes by lining the pan you freeze or cook with in parchment paper.

Instant Pot or slow cooker meals: Put some meat, roughly chopped onions, spices of choice, oil of choice, and broth in a slow cooker or instant pot, set to appropriate settings and wait.

Make rice or other starch ahead of time and freeze in portions. Then all you have to do is microwave it to go with a sheet pan dinner or instant pot dinner.

Non-nightshade sauces can be tricky, but here is a relatively easy one that doesn't require sautee-ing. It does require an instant pot or slow cooker and blender or immersion blender.

[foxxxyana]

Hey you!

It’s fall and you’re probably thinking “damn I wanna make a hearty stew but I don’t have a recipe in mind maybe a cute girl could give me her recipe for beef stew and show hole while doing so?” Well I’m not showing hole for free but I do have a pretty damn good stew recipe that’ll make your holes quiver more than a chilly lot lizard at a truck stop Arby’s.

In some seriousness I made this a couple weeks ago, came a little eating it and I want to spread that seed of joy as much as I can this Mariah Carey season.

———

Alright so here is a list of ingredients in very rough measurements

1 pound stew beef (could also be any fairly lean and cheap cuts of beef) cubed

1 cup of carrots chopped or whole baby carrots

One medium onion chopped (any variety is fine but I used yellow onions)

1 pound of red potatoes quartered (you can add another half pound if you love potatoes a Samwise Gamgee amount)

2 32 oz cartons of unsalted or lightly salted beef stock (+ maybe one smaller carton or jar of beef bone broth to add a bit more flavor or top off the pot if the stock doesn’t cover the ingredients fully)

Some all purpose flour like maybe a quarter cup if that

Finally some red wine vinegar

That’s it for the bulk items, you can add or subtract anything you want with something more your taste like celery instead of carrots or russet potatoes instead of reds. The world is your stew so get wet and have fun with it.

The spices are the key to this dish since it brings out a lot of the subtle flavors of each component

2 tsp Thyme

2 tsp Rosemary

1 tsp Tarragon

1/2 tsp red chili flake

1 tsp parsley

2 bay leaves

2 tsp black pepper and salt

Garlic (if using fresh garlic 2 cloves to start and if you want add another clove if using pre minced Jarlic use about 2 heaping tsps)

And finally the crucial ingredient. 1 and 1/2 tbsps Garam Masala. I used a pre made mix and this what it looks like and what spices it has exactly

If you can’t find this then get as many of this spices as you can and mix them together using the ratio of 2 tsp coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, and cumin, 1 and 1/2 tsps of black pepper and celery seed, then 1/2 tsp anise, allspice, clove, and salt, you can leave out the salt and pepper and just add a little bit more later on.

———

Ok now that we have ingredients let’s slap this bitch together

On medium high heat with a tbsp of oil or butter brown the meat off in a large stock pot, you don’t want to cook it through just getting some color on all sides, if it starts to smell like burning turn the heat down a little and add more oil, if you add too much it could get watery and not brown the meat effectively. If that happens just drain as much of the liquid as you can into a separate container, just before you take it off the heat and it’s almost all browned then add a teaspoon and a half of garam masala and then keeping browning until it’s a good color then set aside

Next in the same pot add your chopped onions with a little butter or oil and cook til translucent and aromatic, then add another teaspoon and a half of garam masala along with the red chili flake and garlic to wake up those flavors in direct heat then turn the heat down to med low and add your flour, go slow with this little by little, we’re not making a roux or anything just trying to cook off the raw flour taste to help thicken the stew a little down the line, you don’t have to add all of the amount listed just enough until it start to thicken and coat the onions

Next add your beef back in and stir a little bit coating the beef in the onion and flour mixture and then add a couple splashes of red wine vinegar just enough to lift the flour off of the bottom of the pot, make sure to scrape all the onion and beef bits at the bottom of the pot off with a spoon or spatula before moving on from this step.

Next add your stock and other vegetables along with all the spices including the last 1 and 1/2 tsps of garam masala. The stock liquid should cover all the ingredients but if not, add in your reserved bone broth or rest of the beef stock if you used bone broth earlier.

Let it simmer on medium low heat for about 1 hour, though you can leave this on the stove for longer if you want the flavor a bit more concentrated but no more than 3 hours.

And there we go! Serve by itself or over mashed potatoes, and make sure to take out the bay leaves! You can’t eat them. Also if you want it a little thicker just add some cornstarch and water to a small measuring glass stir to combine then pour stirring it well into the stew though keep in mind once you add the cornstarch slurry you cannot keep it on the heat for more then 5 more minutes. Any longer and the cornstarch will turn more gummy and nobody wants that.

———

Anyways here’s the only picture I took of the stew it may or may not be that flattering depending on how hungry you are.

Pictured is also a pot of garlic and sage mashed potatoes, I don’t have the energy to write that recipe down but if I get enough requests for it I’ll add it here.

Most importantly just have fun with it, if you want more hot spice throw it in, if you want more salty umami flavors add mushrooms or dark soy sauce, do whatever you want this stew is yours to customize as you please.

Anywho I hope you all enjoy my slutty slutty stew >:3