#black columnist

[poppingmary]

Jean Simmons, Jane Russell, Stewart Granger and gossip columnist Hedda Hopper at The Cocoanut Grove LA California - 56s

[sachermorte]

hi roland

i noticed you use a forearm crutch and i wanted to ask for some advice, if that’s okay with you

i just got my very first forearm crutch (and mobility aid in general) today and um. it’s very scary to use it in public :’)) i just wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to give less of a fuck about people staring and judging, and how to feel more confident with using it in public

thank you :’)))

Servus, Anon, you caught me just coming back from the gym. I'm happy to talk about this before I go jump in the shower and pretend I don't exist for twenty minutes.

I've been using some flavor of mobility aid since I was around eighteen years old, so let's just round it up and call it a full decade. I started with a cane, had to upgrade to two forearm crutches three years in, and knocked myself back down to just one crutch around three or four years ago. I've been carrying around a giant metal pole for so long I don't really remember what it felt like to go without it, so I suppose I really am the best person to ask.

This is long. Table of contents provided here, cut to follow.

On Judgment

On Theater

On Discrimination

1. On Judgment

The first point I want to impress upon you is that people really, earnestly, don't give nearly as much of a fuck about you as you think they do. People are inherently self-centered. This isn't the same thing as selfish, mind you. People can be good and generous and kind while still being fundamentally self-centered. That's the price of admission for being an individual. People live in their own bodies and deal with their own problems and primarily concern themselves with their own affairs. They might look at you, but that's because the way that the human brain works is that it wants to take in new pieces of information. A young person with a mobility aid is "unusual", so they're just filing it away in their endless filing cabinet of Things That Exist On Planet Earth. It's no huge drama.

To continue on a slightly different angle, the therapist-esque "no one's judging you I promise!!! do YOU go out on the street and judge people on what they look like?" never worked on me because yes, actually, I do. I think people are out here dressed tragically and with bad haircuts and with the most hideous shoes I've ever seen, and I think it very often. But here's the thing: I see someone, I judge wholeheartedly, and then immediately move on. Any given person occupies less than two full seconds in my consciousness before I go back to what I was doing and forget about them literally forever. This is how random, shitty, petty judgments happen. These people are irrelevant to your life and your story. You will almost certainly never speak to them on the subject*. If people think about you at all, it won't even be unkind. It'll be "Oh, I wonder what's going on there. Anyway." I promise. Kerry Weaver used a forearm crutch on nine seasons of ER before it was explained, and people dealt with it just fine.

I suppose I'm lucky in that I live in Vienna. You would be hard-pressed in Vienna to get anyone to give a shit about you and what you're doing if you were shot in the street. I consider this one of the best things about the city. I've known people who only very delicately broached the subject of my crutch after knowing me for over two years. And it was when I was already complaining about my hip joint. "Ah, that's why you have the crutch, I suppose." "How very right you are." "Anyway, you were saying?" I've had multiple people mention that they forget I even have it. It just melds into their map of what Roland looks like. Doesn't even warrant thinking about. The one time I had a stranger ask me about it was three years ago, and it was a little kid. I told him it was because I never ate my vegetables. I laughed. His dad laughed. Everyone moved on. Aside from that, it only comes up if someone asks me if I might like to take their seat on public transportation (I might, indeed), or someone offering to let me use the staff elevator or waving me through a priority queue. Nobody cares.

*If you live in America, the last paragraph is unfortunately not applicable. I've experienced the height of rudeness in America. People grabbing me to ask me questions, people literally laying hands on me to pray without permission. I once had someone pull out one of my earbuds to ask me what was wrong with me. You are allowed to shout at these people. The best way to get rid of them is to make an absolute scene. I wholeheartedly advocate for tactically losing your shit. Also, your crutch was practically formulated in a lab to be good at hitting people. Consider thoroughly.

2. On Theater

Even taking all of this into account, though, having a mobility aid is new for you, and new things are frequently scary. This brings me to my very favorite tactic for navigating the world: delusion. When I have to do something I'm not used to doing, or go somewhere I'm unaccustomed to, my first thought is always "what character am I playing while I'm there?" I recently started going to the gym and always dress as Favoriten-chic as I can get with my present wardrobe. When I have to file an important piece of paperwork, I dress very respectably in gray and black. When I was at my job in the garderobe last year around a bunch of ÖVP-Wähler, I dressed mostly in vintage menswear.

What kind of characters exist in the greater public consciousness that often use canes or staves? Aristocracy is and always has been my mask of choice. You, however, might choose a swashbuckler. A Tolkien-esque wizard or someone living in The Shire. A knight. A monk. An outdoorsman. Partaker of organized crime. Jay Gatsby roaring 20s billionaire. Whatever you choose is going to be your cover until you feel like your crutch is an extension of your body and you don't need the pretense anymore. You're cosplaying. It might take a few months. A few years. You might decide you like your persona so much you never take it off. That's also fine.

Again, I live in Vienna, and people stare at you here. It's just a thing. It's culturally accepted. Half the time we're not even staring at you. We're staring through you. Einfach nur ins Narrenkastl schaun. But because I dress the way I do and move the way I do through the world, if people are staring at me, the last reason I'm going to even think about is the crutch. It's usually the outfit.

Also, that point earlier about people being fundamentally self-centered? I'm so absurdly self-absorbed it's a miracle I can even see where I'm going. I've had friends, multiple times, go "those people were STARING at you" and I honest to God did not even notice. Not even a little bit. When I have company I'm too wrapped up in saying outrageous shit. When I'm alone I always have headphones in. My leitmotiv is inescapable. Which really only helps to reinforce the vibe I'm pushing out all the time.

3. On Discrimination

If you wanted me to write that no one would treat you any differently, I'm sorry to say that that's not the case. Don't get me wrong, there are many benefits, both physical and social. Your pain will go down significantly, that's for sure. You'll be able to walk faster. You'll be able to be out longer, and experience more things. I personally get to use Cripple Privilege to get out of anything I don't want to do. I almost always get a seat on public transportation, even during rush hour. I can press-gang friends into carting shit around for me. Just yesterday I had help carting two vintage hardwood and leather dining chairs from the third to the tenth. I did not carry either of the chairs. I just trotted along and chattered everyone's ear off.

But people do tend to make assumptions about what you are and aren't capable of. The extreme praise when I started going to the gym didn't really sit right with me, and I'm not going to bother saying anything about it because what's the point? In the minds of other people, they're being supportive, not condescending. Your dating pool will shrink significantly, because again, people make assumptions about what you are and aren't capable of, and often just don't want to date a disabled person. If your partner is okay with it, their family likely won't be. My ex's family said some HORRIBLE things to and about me about how I was "dragging him down" and "forcing him to take care of me". He didn't defend me. This was the least of many, many problems with that entire relationship, but I still found it incredibly unpleasant. My issues in my love life aren't solely due to my condition, so don't fall into despair prematurely, but I can't pretend that it isn't a contributing factor.

After that relationship ended, I wound up cutting out most of our former mutual friends, not only because of their lack of support, but due to them constantly posting those pastel uwu "you're so valid!!!" positivity and (mis)information posts surrounding disabilities, which felt incredibly infantilizing and condescending. Again, I'm sure they would insist they were being supportive. If I ever see another one of those posts again it'll be too soon.

In any case. You will live a long, meaningful, fruitful life. And the crutch will be a part of you. For now. For a while. Maybe forever. That's okay. That's fine. Maybe in ten years you'll be just as jaded and nonchalant about the whole business like I am now. That doesn't make your apprehension about the situation any less real. But I'm telling you now that the life you want always lies on the other side of a massive pain in the ass.

You'll muddle through somehow, with alternating bouts of clumsiness and grace. We all do, after all.

[dinosaurwithablog]

A hot and steamy photo of Paul Drake, Perry Mason's private investigator. Paul is played by William Hopper, who is famous Hollywood gossip columnist, Heda Hopper's son. Back in the 50s and 60s, this kinda photo was considered very racy. Ooh baby 😁😍 hubba hubba 😉

[she-writes-anonymously]

A sardonic response to a younger version of myself:

Turns out it was a beautiful pipe dream, a projection of the best of me.  Perhaps this is the realization, the canon event every 20 something young adult entering the workplace must live through. The inevitable graveyard for all those beautiful hopes, dreams, and wishes.

you bet it is

 There are no shortcuts when you first enter the workforce, no grand mentor that would come and rescue you. Some will even be resentful, perhaps we remind them of that younger and morally optimistic version of themselves. Who they once were when they enter the workplace, and how the rancid system inevitably consumed them.

Some will feed of you until they have dry out your lifeforce, until you have become a lifeless copy of their version because “that is the way it has always been”. As if this phrase somehow exempts them from having an ounce of humanity. As if this phrase doesn’t highlight exactly what is wrong with the system. As if we didn’t have a system that was born from slavery, and it has done nothing but evolved and morphed into recent times, still breathing. As if complacency is not the biggest obstacle of progress.   

Sometimes we speak too soon, I know I did.  I was enchanted with the illusion of the beautiful “what would be” picture I saw in my head. The million dreams I would be able to buy with the money my career would bring. How many young adults I wonder, have seen their pipe dreams turned into ash before their eyes? How many of them feel the sorrow and pain from the sudden realization the resistance that the people in powerful place of the company are the ones not allowing the system to evolve. How sorrowful it feels to wish for a better world and workplace and have both your hands tie down for this fight.

I haven’t given up yet. I’ve only accepted that I am a part of the system, that while I cannot support all of it, I cannot also condemn all of it. Not when I am unable to scape it, not when I haven’t built the foundations in which I don’t need to depend on it. I am more hopeful and optimistic as ever.

Sometimes we just aspire to be seen, to be understood. The workplace can be the place where some people are good at pretending.  Some people have mastered the art of deceiving. They will pretend until they no longer can keep up with the role they created. When the walls come down and you come face to face with that ugly character, suddenly, everything makes sense. Suddenly,

In this big wide world, our paths are bound to cross with each other. 

Some interactions are unavoidable. Some experiences are better digested long after they have passed. Somethings may never make sense, but sitting here, reflecting on that first big girl job. I understand the lesson and I refuse to be broken by the system.  My hopes, and my dreams are mine, and the flame that keeps me alive until I draw my last breath.

[corporationsarepeople]

David Roberts on Twitter:

One thing's already clear: Harris's Happy Warrior persona a) is incredibly appealing to meme-happy young people, and b) drives the right craaaaaazy. It infuriates them on such a deep level. The best thing she can do is: stay happy, stay laughing, mock these clowns, have fun.

It's going to be difficult. The harumphing jackasses on the right will be joined by harumphing centrist columnists and harumphing cable news anchors, all of whom will harumph about how this is Serious Business and she needs more gravitas & etc. Ignore them.

One thing conservatives (and lots of conservative Dems) feel in their gut is that a black woman in public life shouldn't be happy, or joyful, or silly. She should be grateful that we let her in the door, right? She should be genuflecting & making us feel magnanimous, right?

There will be *enormous* pressure along these lines, explicit & implicit, even from people who swear there are no racist bones in their body. The very best way Harris can respond is with a serene smile. Stay confident, stay self-possessed, stay happy.

The more she stays openly confident & happy, the more it will drive the worst people crazy and the more they will drop the mask and get vicious. Let them. She's smiling & vivacious, they are grimacing & pinched.

She's young & hopeful; they're old & bitter.

She's brat, they suck.

Of course, this is asking for a level of self-control & equanimity that most people -- very much including myself -- do not possess. I would crumble under that pressure! I am not a happy warrior! But I think Harris can pull it off.

[mauricecherry]

Y’all are in for a real treat this week, because I got the chance to catch up with the extremely talented and accomplished George McCalman. He is well known for his work a studio owner and creative director, and he recently published his first book, Illustrated Black History: Honoring the Iconic and the Unseen.

George shared how the idea for the book came about, and he spoke about some of the surprising and interesting things that came up during his research on who to include. He also talked about getting his start in the magazine industry as an art director, shared what convinced him to eventually start his own business, and elaborated on how his style has evolved over the years. George is a master of his craft and a true inspiration to aspiring creatives everywhere!

[ms-demeanor]

But. Like. The lady who ran the newspaper expected me to work 20 hour shifts to get pages turned atound for production and let that columnist keep touching me even after i told her it made me uncomfortable and paid me minimum wage with deposits that were sometimes weeks late. She fired me by simply stopping sending me pages and never communicated that I didn't have a job anymore and I had to send large Bastard to collect the last four hundred dollars she owed me.

Coffee shop dude was directly abusive while mostly acting like a nice guy and if you called him out on his shit or asked not to be scheduled with people who problems for you, he punished you by cutting your hours. He *also* engaged in wage theft, insisting that all employees had to complete their closing tasks in 20 minutes or risk having their hours cut, so you just clocked out for your last hour of work. I had a coworker there who literally died of exhaustion (passed out, hit his head, aspirated vomit) as he mopped the floor while clocked out on his twelfth day in a row of work. He was twenty-two. Before I got too injured to keep working there, we closed together six nights a week. He liked to clean to the gladiator soundtrack and he wanted to be a director.

The gun shop had us clock out before the managers did the count, and nobody could leave until the guns were tallied; we closed at 9 and there were multiple days that i was locked in there until 1 with no pay and no food while the managers failed to find their ass with both hands. I watched as my coworkers (and some of my managers) *repeatedly* went out of their way to complete straw sales for white people while trying to prevent black and chicano customers from buying guns.

The first coffee shop was run by people laundering cocaine money from their club. We all joked that the severance package was half your last paycheck and a kick in the ass because they never fully paid anyone they fired and they banned you from the ship for a length of time that was proportional to what they owed you. They stiffed me forty bucks and i got banned for a week, there was a guy who was banned for life and they owed him over nine thousand dollars for several months that he was the only employee and worked the shop for eighteen hours a day. They paid less than minimum wage, they paid under the table, and when the manager smashed out the patio door in a fit of pique, they didn't explain shit and left us to deal with explaining the "break in" to the cops.

IDK maybe bosses are just bad.

[mariacallous]

According to the internet, I’m a “boy mum”. It’s not a term I’d heard until I gave birth to a baby boy. Suddenly, I was being bombarded with videos about the nightmare in store for me. This was footage showing the kind of destructive male-toddler behaviour that Jackass stars Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera would deem too risky. Meanwhile, their mothers were portrayed as longsuffering, harried, hard-as-nails veterans of the boy-toddler insane asylum.

My son is very physically active, but he’s also a gentle, cautious child, so this doesn’t resonate with me, or with several of the “boy mums” I know. (Meanwhile, some of the “girl mums” spend their days chasing their Tasmanian Devil-esque daughters like they’re in a Looney Tunes cartoon.) Yet it’s everywhere. Then, last week, I saw a report that found girls were playing outside less than boys, even at two years old – something that shocked the researchers, who hadn’t expected to see socialised gender roles emerging so early.

It didn’t shock me, sadly. Not when I’m regularly tearing my hair out in clothes shops trying to find something for my two-year-old son to wear that isn’t black or camouflage, like he’s a ninja, or a small soldier already primed for aggression.

“It’s not our fault, but we’ve all internalised that ‘boys-take-up-more-space’stereotype,” Kirstie Beaven, the founder of Sonshine magazine, a publication geared towards raising boys for a more equal world, tells me.

“Girls’ clothes are made for sitting still and looking pretty, while boys’ clothes are made for activity, even in the baby or toddler sections. Parents of babies tend to underestimate girls’ gross motor skills – expecting they will be less competent than boys at crawling or climbing – and we’re all more likely to encourage our sons to take physical risks, and expect our daughters to ‘be careful’.”

Beaven says that by the time our children are two years old, we probably don’t expect our daughters to need as much outside time. “Nor are they as comfy or confident when they are outside,” she says. “If your shoes are too flimsy to climb a tree or your T-shirt is cut uncomfortably short and tight, it’s not surprising you want to go home early.”

As a 90s tomboy kid raised in dungarees, this thought breaks my heart a little. A lack of outdoor physical activity will disadvantage girls from a young age, and these gendered expectations harm boys, too, as Ruth Whippman, author of the book BoyMum, tells me.

“The flipside of the ‘boys play outside more’ phenomenon is that parents as a whole give boys less of the kind of quiet indoor-type attention that they give to girls,” she says. “Wide-scale research across countries shows that from as early as nine months, parents spend more time with girls on activities such as learning letters and numbers, singing, drawing and telling stories. Girls now outperform boys at school and researchers believe these differences in parental time inputs account for a significant portion of the difference.”

What I loved about Whippman’s book was that it beautifully conveyed the internal battle many intelligent feminist mothers found themselves having when raising boys who may be conforming to certain stereotypes.

“When my three boys were small, people used to tell me all the time [that] ‘boys are like dogs – all they need is food and exercise, and just try to wear them out’,” Whippman says. “I used to absolutely hate it, as it seemed so dehumanising. But perhaps what I hated even more was the fact that in our case it was kind of true.”

Of course, like most mothers, she initially held herself responsible.

As with many of these questions, a complex interplay between nurture and nature is involved, and it’s stupid to deny biology any kind of role. Whippman highlights how male foetuses get a shot of testosterone in the womb that has been linked in other mammals to a tendency to play more roughly, while girls may be able to sit still and focus for longer at younger ages because the areas of the brain responsible for impulse control and emotional self-regulation generally develop earlier in girls.

The point is, though, that parents often increase this divide by failing to correct their own unconscious biases and help their kids work on the areas where they could improve their skills. As Whippman puts it: “When it comes to gender, as parents, we end up turning small differences into big differences.”

Seeing how much my little boy needs me, how much touch, affection and reassurance he craves, has been one of the most educative experiences I’ve had since I became his mum. I’ve known many men whose feelings as little boys were neglected, often in contrast to the comfort and time any sisters’ emotional needs were given.

“If we don’t let boys express all parts of their personalities and emotional lives because they are just ‘wild monsters’, we are not only doing them a huge disservice, we are storing up problems in how they interact with others in later life,” says Beaven, who also says that the “boy mum” stereotype boiled her blood.

If we are to tackle the crises in violence against women and in male mental health, we need to be open about how damaging these stereotypes are for boys as well as girls. That starts with being honest with ourselves about how much we, as parents, are encouraging them. That’s why you’ll never find me identifying as a “boy mum”, no matter how much the internet wants me to.

[cartermagazine]

Today In History

Langston Hughes was a prolific writer who worked in many genres: poetry, fiction, nonfiction, drama, musicals, and children’s books.

As a popular newspaper columnist, Hughes created a fictitious Harlem narrator named Simple. Deeply interested in developing a black theater, Hughes founded the New Negro Theater in Los Angeles March 19, 1939.

His life and work were enormously important in shaping the artistic contributions of the Harlem Renaissance. He wanted to tell the stories of his people in ways that reflected their actual culture, including both their suffering and their love of music, laughter, and language itself.

CARTER™ Magazine

[dropout-if]

Dropout Customization

Due to some questions about MC customization, I have decided to compile all the physical and personality aspects that are selectable about the Dropout.

A reminder that this is all subject to change and that new things may be added (or deleted). Feedback and ideas to further develop MC are encouraged.

Main Ideas

Name Surname Nickname

Sex, Gender, Pronouns (it's possible to customise them), Breast/Pecs, Penis/Vagina (If MC is transgender, their transition takes place while they're away) Title (Ms. / Mr. / Mx.)

Virginity or lack thereof.

If MC is trans (when they realized about it [high school, middle school, college] and if they told their family // the ROs already know, as MC told Uma and J, and word spread).

Birthday which establishes the Dropout's age as either 21 or 22 depending on the season (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter)

Major (Engineering, Biology, Chemistry, Computer science, Law, Economics, Education (in relation to science/maths/etc), Mathematics, Physics, Psychology). The Dropout's Major affects flavor text. These options are the ones approved by the Dropout's parents, though it's possible for MC to express interest in other degrees/topics (music, art, English, anthropology, archeology, classical studies, history).

Reason behind dropping out (MC got kicked out (they were caught cheating) MC didn't get a high enough GPA and dropped out / MC never even wanted to go to college and ultimately decided they wanted out / MC didn't fit in (they were discriminated, lonely, etc) though they really liked college / MC originally liked their degree and college but gradually lost interest in the entire thing / MC never liked their degree and decided to drop out / Something specifically related to mental health (mainly anxiety) / Impostor's syndrome.) This affects flavor text.

2 Coping Mechanisms (Alcohol, Tobacco, Drugs, Sleeping around, Avoidance, Overspending, Humor, *Hobby (overworking self) [Anger, Fake/forced happiness, Sadness, Indifference].) Each coping mechanism opens a variable and a storyline. You can choose two, though choosing one related to emotional responses [between brackets] automatically blocks out the others.

2 Hobbies (Singing, playing an instrument, songwriting, creative writing, drawing, sketching, sculpting, acting, photography, soccer, football, swimming, basketball, gymnastics, boxing, judo, karate, taekwondo, kickboxing, going to the gym, cooking/baking, dancing [ballet, contemporary dance, modern], yoga.) This affects flavor text and scenes.

Job (Bartender [Wanda, Statler is also around often], Cashier [Statler], Columnist [J (+Kai if poly)], Caregiver [Kai], Waiter/Waitress [Uma (+Travis if poly)], Tutor [Travis]) Each job gives you more time with a certain RO, as well as unlocking a storyline.

Personality Stats

Playful/Serious Honest/Dishonest Friendly/Rude Introverted/Extroverted Laid-back/Uptight Cynical/Idealistic Flirty/Reserved Family oriented/Individualistic

Others: Insomnia, Migraines

Physical Appearance

*It's possible to choose MC's appearance as a high schooler as well. This affects flavor text.

Height (very tall, talk, average, short, very short)

Skin tone (ebony, dark brown, light brown, russet, golden, olive, honey, tawny, tanned, fair, rosy, ivory.) Choosing any skin tone gives you the possibility of choosing to be a poc (idea I stole from Mila, @beyondthegame)

*Build (scrawny, skinny, lithe, lean, muscular, chubby, curvy, hourglass).

*Hair color (max 3 tones, 1 base and other 2) (possible to return home with a mess of dye for Maude to fix. NATURAL (Ashen blonde, Sunflower blonde, Strawberry blonde, Caramel, Honey brown, Chocolate brown, Copper, Auburn, Ruby red, Midnight brown, Jet black, Ebony black) NON-NATURAL (Pink, Violet, Lilac, Blue jade, Vermilion red, Snowy white, Silver, Emerald green, Canary yellow, Bleached).

Hair texture (kinky, very coiled, coiled, curly, wavy, slightly wavy, straight)

*Hair length (ear-length, chin-length, shoulder-length, below shoulder-length, chest-length, waist-length)

*Hair style (SHORT/MEDIUM: natural, side-parted, mullet, layered, bob, ponytail, twin ponytails, buzz fade, slick back, messy, wolf cut, bun. LONG: natural, high/low ponytail, messy, shaggy, California waves, a half updo, side-swept, bun, braid, twin braids, twin ponytails).

*Eye color (albino red, dark blue, light blue, dark green, light green, hazel, amber, chestnut brown, chocolate brown, black, grey).

Others

*It's possible to choose MC's appearance as a high schooler as well. This affects flavor text.

*Glasses (yes, no, contacts)

*Facial hair (No/shaved. Stubble, full beard, goatee, ducktail,van dyke, garibaldi, mustache, soul patch, light beard).

Scars, can choose as many as possible (Back, chest, abdomen, upper and lower arm, thigh, knees, calf, mouth area, neck, cheek, hands, eye area, shoulder)

*Tattoos (One big in X body area, patch-like bodysuit, bodysuit, one/two sleeves, just legs, a few tattoos all over, a small in X place).

*Piercings (Ears [helix, lobe, industrial], navel, tongue, nose ring and septum, eyebrow, lips, smiley, nipples, genital)

Dimples

Braces

Freckles (face, body, both)

Beauty mark, multiple (under eye, over lip, neck, body)

*Outfit/Style (streetwear, alternative, cute, preppy, casual, formal, business casual, dark academia, messy, boho/eclectic, comfortable)

*Bedroom, at family home and at new apartment (messy, colorful, emo, basic, boho, modern, industrial, vintage, minimalist, cute)

*Diet (vegan, vegetarian, pescetarian, keto, meat-eater, lactose intolerant)

Family pet (small/large dog, cat, fish tank, hamster/rabbit/guinea pig, cockatiel/parrot/canaries)

Characters

Closeness to all family members (tight-knit, close, so-so, cold, barely any relationship)

Same with the friend group

Crush on Statler during high school (yes/no)

'Popularity' during high school and college (popular, social butterfly [got along with many people but wasn't part of the popular groups], normal, loner, outcast [somewhat antagonistic in a way/rebel].)

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

“With the tree of life behind them and the garden representing fertility, life and moving forward, they didn’t need any direction,” said photographer Misan Harriman of shooting that moment.” Didn’t he later admit he added the tree of life to that picture after the fact? Could explain why they needed no direction if they’re just lying in an empty field.

Well, it’s a bit complicated.

First, Misan went on BBC Radio’s Private Passions podcast in March 2022. He was asked about the photo session and spoke about the willow tree.

Here’s the podcast episode, unfortunately only available to listen in the UK at this point. (While the podcast is available on Spotify, this episode - among many others - are missing so I suspect BBC Radio is being selective what they post.)

(Posting this without having listened to it. I couldn’t find a transcript to follow along with.)

Tom Bower gave the episode a listen and used it as a reference for Revenge:

Back in 2021 after the photo was originally published, Misan gave an interview to Good Morning Today, an American breakfast show on NBC (fyi, then-bestie Gayle King is with CBS). You can read about Misan’s interview and his comments here:

Then Getty killed the Waleses’ Mother’s Day photo for editing and people began complaining about the Sussexes’ photos being edited, citing Misan’s comments on BBC Radio, to which Misan responded:

Misan was furious enough that eventually he released the original photograph he took and some metadata to prove that all he did was apply a black and white filter, which is in line with Getty’s requirements.

Personally, releasing the metadata doesn’t give any proof that he manipulated image. All he did was show us the real photo and its metadata, but what he needs to do is show the metadata of the black and white photo. That’s where the proof is.

And note that there’s no timestamp or date on the metadata screenshot. So how do we know he’s showing us the metadata for the correct image?

But don’t forget that there were two images created for the pregnancy announcement. Yes, there’s the one where they’re sitting/lying down, but there’s also this one:

For which there’s no metadata and that even Misan himself seems to have forgotten that he took. It supposedly was taken in the same iPad photo shoot, but not included in the pregnancy announcement. Instead, it was distributed right after the Oprah interview on March 8, 2021.

It’s murky, but someone is lying because why would Misan talk about editing in a willow tree if - as per his defense two years later - he didn’t answer the question BBC was baiting him with?

So anyway, I’ll just end with this.

First, what Misan and the Sussexes are claiming is a jacaranda tree doesn’t look like any jacaranda tree I’ve seen. I’ve never seen one sprout horizontal branches/limbs that close to the ground (they’re usually up a few feet).

And second, from a columnist of the LA Times:

Seems pretty fitting that the Sussexes used a jacaranda tree after all, doesn’t it?

Link

[bitter69uk]

“Why does everybody think I’m so wild? I’m not wild. I happen to stumble onto wildness. It gets in my path.” Cookie Mueller

"Cookie looked like Janis Joplin-meets-Jayne Mansfield, a redneck hippie with a little bit of glamour drag thrown in. She never led a safe life, unsafe was her middle name. She lived on the edge, always." John Waters

Born on this day 75 years ago: vivacious bad girl, writer, go-go dancer, advice columnist, art critic, drug dealer, globe-trotter and avant-garde New York scene-maker Cookie Mueller (née Dorothy Karen Mueller, 2 March 1949 – 10 November 1989). She’s a fiercely charismatic presence in early John Waters "gutter films" like Multiple Maniacs (1970), Pink Flamingos (1972) and Female Trouble (1974). Her close confidante, photographer Nan Goldin would describe Mueller as “the most fabulous woman I’d ever seen ... She was the starlet of the Lower East Side: a poetess, a short-story writer, she starred in John Waters’ early movies. She was sort of the queen of the whole downtown social scene.” (Unsurprisingly, Goldin has an eye for vivid detail. In the wrenching 2022 documentary All the Beauty and the Bloodshed, she recalls that the first time she met Cookie in Provincetown in the 1970s, Mueller was wearing vintage Springolator heels held together with safety pins!). I highly recommend investigating Mueller’s wry and elegant autobiographical musings like Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black or Garden of Ashes (recently reissued) – or Chloe Griffin’s excellent 2014 biography Edgewise: A Picture of Cookie Mueller. Pictured: portrait of Mueller by Bob Berg.

[she-writes-anonymously]

 Hic, Hoc, Haec

I feel as if I am in an island isolated from reality, floating amidst the ocean observing the rest of the world suffer through pain enduring on fire. While I am safe, protected, surrounded by water and healing.  

I can’t recall the last time I felt that familiar void of pain because I was unhappy with the life I have.

I am so isolated from everything that is going on the mainland.

For as far as I can remember all I ever wanted was to live in a big city where nobody knows me, to reinvent myself, to be able to exist without the prejudice of the own context in which I grew up. And for a good couple of years, I had just that.  

Then I moved again, to an island. The first six months were painful, every business and local extra-curricular activities had little to no presence online, it was a culture shock.

Now, as I read the local newspaper -that’s how I keep with what is going on in this island, and the mainland.  I feel old, l am watching myself turn in real time all the things my younger self ostracized. It’s funny, it’s ironical and yet I’ve never been happier.

Isolated, alone, floating in an island in the southern most point of the country. I had not forgotten all the causes that I support and which I continue to stand for, but I feel like I am fading. Little by little as time goes on, I am fading into oblivion. I am becoming a part of but not of the world.

and there is peace in the afterthought that I can die without anyone ever noticing.

[ricochetyears]

jegulus How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days au

Ten Days to Ruin

by ricochetyears

James leans over his balcony and smirks, waving as Regulus heads for his taxi, “Oh, you’re already falling in love with me.”

Regulus laughs, blowing a kiss back, mumbling to himself, “I’m going to make you wish you were dead.”

or, Regulus Black, a fiercely ambitious columnist for the Daily Prophet, dreams of serious journalism but is stuck writing lifestyle fluff. After a friend’s disastrous breakup, he pitches a daring idea: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. The experiment? Find a bloke, make him fall, and then drive him away with progressively outrageous behavior. Ten days, one article.

Across town, James Potter, a rising star at Horcrux Diamond, makes a bet that he can make anyone fall madly in love with him in ten days to secure a lucrative diamond account. A well-placed rumor leads him straight to Regulus, who's secretly on his own mission.

But with the final day approaching, both begin to wonder if their biggest challenge might be letting each other go.

art cr: likeafunerall

[bloopitynoot]

13 WangXian Social Media Au's

This list was requested by @yiling-laozu-is-loml and is all about WangXian social media stories. NOTE: All of these fics are tried and true! They include fics I have read an enjoyed and wanted to share.

Request:

WangXian

Social media can include; group chats, online forums, blog, tweets, OF, youtube etc really the public eye (I included some actor/famous/reality tv with fans fics too) or chat based fics.

if applicable Bottomxian only

book canon only if applicable

If you want a specific rec list for WangXian dm me! I love putting these together :)

Enjoy the list!

1 Welcome to Pepper & Bun! (9560 words) by PaidSubscription

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating Advice Columnists, Relationship Advice, Demisexual Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Bisexual Disaster Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Mastermind Nie Huaisang, Inspired by Twitter, Autistic Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Has ADHD, Getting Together, Fluff and Humor, Those Who Can't Do Write Advice Columns, Idiots in Love, Mainly Wei Wuxian Because Canon, Podfic Available Summary: Wei Wuxian: Did you catch our first letter? Shall we meet up and discuss it? Lan Wangji: No need. Sent draft just now. Wei Wuxian's email pings with 'Column Copy- Final Draft.' It contains two words.   "Dump him." OR: Gossip Editor Nie Huaisang strikes gold when he picks Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to be co-writers of a new dating advice column. The only slight problem? Lan Wangji has never dated.

NOTES: Okay this fic was so damn sweet!!!! If this was a real advice column I would be invested in an unhealthy way- the two of them are adorable. It gives a little bit of frenemies to lovers and I am always here for this dynamic- the duo who seemingly has nothing in common falling for one another. My heart! Also Nie Huaisang is a marketing genius.

2 For a Good Time, Call (170842 words) by ScarlettStorm

Chapters: 21/21 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lan zhan, sex worker wei ying, in this house we support sex work, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt(tm), way too many details about onlyfans probably, they say write what you know, No beta we die like wei wuxian, mental health, therapy is good actually, in which I reveal my true otp and it's anyone in the untamed/therapy, okay so actually more angst than I was expecting, a surprising amount of genuine feelings, whoops?, Background Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing - Freeform, background lan xichen/nie mingjue, background Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zixuān, Nonbinary Nie Huaisang Series: Part 1 of See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! Summary: The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank. Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

NOTES: I love an OF plotline and this one is exceptionally good. Poor Lan Zhan going THROUGH the moralities of not only finding your besties OF account but also subscribing and also finding it too hot to handle. The amount of tears and cash this poor boy spends. It has a happy ending so no stress with his moral angst! ALSO the sequel is so so good KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in (pls note the sequel has them tagged as switches so full disclosure there if it is a deal breaker for you).

3 兔's Clues | Tu's Clues (12296 words) by Anonymous

Chapters: 2/2 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Single Parent Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Minor Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Fluff and Humor, Misunderstandings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Minor Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Niè Míngjué Series: Part 2 of AUs only a mother could love Summary: Most childrens’ show hosts are cheerful, energetic people who wear eye-catching clothing. The man on-screen is none of those things. This man (“that’s Lan-xiong!” A-Yuan says helpfully) is eye-catching for completely different reasons. When A-Yuan had started talking about 'Lan-xiong' and rabbits, Wei Wuxian had briefly recalled 18-year-old Lan Zhan sitting back on his heels with two baby rabbits in his lap, but the idea of his high school crush hosting a childrens' show had been so ludicrous that Wei Wuxian had chalked it up to coincidence. So either Wei Wuxian is hallucinating or that is indeed Lan Wangji on-screen, talking to two rabbits. As the host of a childrens' show. --- or: A-Yuan's new favourite thing is a show about solving clues left by rabbits… or something like that. Single dad Wei Wuxian is very much not prepared to see his high school crush hosting a childrens' show.

NOTES: So listen, this is tagged as Crack Treated Seriously and honestly the energy was not so Crackish. It was a surprisingly adorable and very cute fic. Lan Zhan WOULD be a stoic AF bunny handler as a children's tv host.

4 shoot your shot -- hot or knot (51435 words) by defractum

Chapters: 5/5 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: "Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter. Hot or Knot is the world's most popular reality TV show. Part dating show, part survival show, Hot or Knot is everyone's guilty pleasure - and Wei Wuxian is a fan favourite. - The Love Island/Hunger Games reality dating tv show A/B/O au

NOTES: Okay, but here's the thing. This is S tier crack fic and no one can change my mind. Did I think I would be out here reading a Love Island/Hunger Games/ ABO reality show fic- absolutely not but let me tell you *slaps fic* this baby has so much good shit in it. Just pls trust me and go in with open energy LOL

5 episodes (34947 words) by kasunn

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Fluff, basically all fluff, Youtuber Wei Ying, Social Media, Actor Lan Xichen, Artist Jiang Cheng, Chef Jiang Yanli, Babysitting, lowkey kidfic, Surgeon Lan Zhan, Canon typical feels, Taiwanese Wei Ying, Copious amounts of Chinglish, pets!, Secret Relationship, Kind Of, bad pet names, Established Relationship, wen yuan is a wen Summary: “Lan Zhan-gege,” Wei Ying sighs when he reads the tweet and Lan Zhan pats his knee. “I said hello,” Lan Zhan says. That he did. The tweet simply reads ‘Hello’ with a waving hand emoji. Terrible. Wei Ying is ashamed of himself for not teaching him better. “Your brother is going to kill me,” Wei Ying says. (or just a lot of domesticity between Wei Ying the Youtuber and Lan Zhan (his husband) + a mild, mini mystery for Wei Ying's viewers)

NOTES: I love this fic so much. The wholesome domestic energy is everything. WY is a youtuber and quite popular online in this and his husband is a mysterious man no one sees or knows anything about- obviously fans get curious and oh, Lan Zhan gets twitter.

6 you are safe / loved / worthy / enough (150003 words) by everythingispoetry

Chapters: 28/28 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Social Media, Mental Health Issues, Healing, self-care, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, the mortifying ordeal of self-acceptance, Falling In Love, Depression, Slow Burn Summary: One of the more timid-looking posts, in pale greens and creams and yellows, says Hello, I'm managing to be fairly high functioning right now but I'm really not doing as well as it may appear, and Lan Zhan feels as if someone sneaked into his mind and read his most secret thoughts, the ones he's never even dared to admit to himself. (Lan Zhan falls apart and finds himself through the most unexpected means.)

NOTES: So a few things with this fic; first it takes the prompt social media a little lighter as in social media is used for healing and there are social media talks but it isn't the forefront of the fic, second CW if you struggle with depression this fts that heavily and in a descriptive way. So heads up there. This fic is stunning, it's about healing, recovery, autonomy and love. That being said, your boy Wangji really goes through it in this fic. The poor guy is Not Okay. It is a beautiful fic though and he does get better.

7 Badreads (37442 words) by arabii

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Bullying as a Flirting Technique, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian in Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian's Body Summary: Lan Zhan rated it ★☆☆☆☆ August 12, 2022 shelves: should-have-abandoned Picked up solely because I thought that a book release clouded with so much controversy would at least be entertaining to read. I was wrong. How does Wei Wuxian manage to make a book containing cannibalism, necromancy, and a sex cult boring? Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are romance authors with large social media followings. Nie Huaisang sees an opportunity to get publicity by faking a relationship between them. This action will have consequences.

NOTES: I absolutely LOVE when Lan Wangji is a Bitch and this is peak Bitchiness. WY and LXC are romance writers and LWJ is a book reviewer with 0 fucks to give. The brutality in which he makes a point to read and review each of WWX's books brings me so much joy. and OFC they fall in love.

8 Falling to the Rhythm (128916 words) by Selenay

Chapters: 14/14 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!Wèi Wúxiàn, Violinist Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, Rating applies to later chapters, The unbearable romance of being cared for, Podfic Available Series: Part 1 of Wangxian Strictly AU Summary: "So it's a bet?" Jiang Cheng said. "Dance the showcase if you get him, fancy coffee machine if you don't?" Wei Wuxian considered the machine. "Fine. You're on. I want it in red." "Don't start planning your caffeine overdose yet." "It's in the bag," Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. "There's no way they'll match me with someone like Lan Wangji."   Teaching Lan Wangji to dance in front of the nation for twelve weeks, how hard can that be? Wei Wuxian is about to find out.

NOTES: I love everything about this fic. It was so good and light (a tiny sip of angst because competition and some pining). The Strictly Come Dancing (basically Dancing with the Stars for North America) is *chefs kiss*. Also the fact that WY went in on it for a bet because he wanted a coffee machine I cant.

9 Gusu's Drag Race (55079 words) by DizziDreams

Chapters: 15/15 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: the gang's all here, Drag Queens, Drag Race AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Nonbinary Character, Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, whistleblower, There Was Only One Bed, Alcohol Abuse, ambiguous setting, American political system - Freeform, Big Bang Challenge, Background jyl/mianmian Summary: Meet the Queens of Gusu’s Drag Race Season 5! by QIN SU Oh my god, we’re back again. Hot on the heels of the shocking finale of season 4, Gusu’s Drag Race is back, with perennial judge Lan Qiren, Gusu’s grumpiest shufu, and featuring the return of the grandmother of drag Baoshan Sanren. And this season is already promising one. “We’ve never had such a strong cast of refined, professional queens. It has the makings to be the greatest season of Drag Race yet.” Big talk for the Emmy-award-winning show that has shot dozens of queens to fame, bringing drag to the mainstream. “The mainstream may be taking notice, but there’s nothing mainstream about drag done right,” says co-host Baoshan Sanren. “Drag is about disobedience. It’s rebellious and anti-mainstream by its very definition, and we’ve got some queens this season with the chops to prove it.” With all that to look forward to, let’s Meet the Queens who’ve already captivated our judges.

NOTES: I know I said that Hot or Knot was PEAK Crack, but this one is up there too! We have the MDZS ensemble, we have Drag, we have unionization and the fight for working conditions, OH AND INCLUDED ART. This was so fun to read.

10 Yesterday Once More (22725 words) by Sweetlittlevampire

Chapters: 7/7 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Long Lost Family AU, Adoption, Family Reunions, Reunions, Lost Love, Getting Back Together, Family Feels, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mild Angst, Happy Ending, Podfic Welcome, Podfic Available Summary: „I remember him as…sunny,” Sizhui tells her. “His whole personality radiated sunshine and warmth. He was always smiling, always cracking a joke. He loved playing and rough-housing with us kids, but he could also be very gentle if he wanted to. Looking back, he couldn’t have been older than twenty-five; he was probably even younger than that, now that I think about it. But despite the short time we’ve spent together while he was looking after the kids at the orphanage, he always felt like a father to me.”   In which Lan Sizhui goes on a TV show, to find the man he saw as a father figure while he was in the orphanage, and who disappeared one day. …and who just so happens to be his adoptive father's long-lost love.

NOTES: Okay way less crack, this fic actually made me tear up. A wholesome journey Sizhui centric in which he goes on a reality TV show to find his Xian-ge. The "show" was so beautifully narrated and "produced" and the ending ultra sweet.

11 Love at Second Sight (49893 words) by flowerofgusu

Chapters: 17/17 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Luo "Mian Mian" Qingyang, Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui Additional Tags: Background SongXiao, background mianqing, Romance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Musicians Wangxian, Comphet Wei Wuxian, Coming Out, Demisexual Wei Wuxian, Rated E for the Small Amounts of Smut, Eventual Smut, Romantic Comedy, Falling In Love, Misunderstandings, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage Summary: Popstar Wei Wuxian agrees to go on Nie Huaisang’s reality TV show, wherein celebrities play an arranged married couple for a month. His manager, Wen Qing, insists this will be good publicity—plus, the funds raised will go to a children’s music school. He’s excited—he’s never been in a relationship before, let alone a fake-arranged-marriage. But when he finds out that he’s been arranged to be married on the show to his rival Lan Wangji, he doesn’t know whether to grin and bear it, or run the other way. How much can he act smitten for the cameras?

NOTES: On a good day I am already too invested in real life trash reality tv so it's no surprise that I am here to include yet another reality tv dating show au. This one was so good. I love a good "fake it till you accidentally actually fall in love" trope and this one does that plus a solid slowburn to realization exquisitely. These poor babes so oblivious- such messes.

12 cookin' up a storm, piece of cake (9562 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Social Media, Baking, the dumbest comments u have ever seen, wei wuxian being a troll for nearly 10k words, lan wangji suffering the most that any recipe blogger has ever suffered, Baker Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian is a Little Shit, Crack, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, told in the form of recipe comments and emails, Epistolary Summary: yiling_patriarch: first time making a cake with alcohol! it’s still in the oven but it smells great so far ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: There is no alcohol listed in the ingredients for this recipe. yiling_patriarch: i didn’t have any oranges or orange juice so i replaced those with a can of orange sparkling margarita! tasted super weird [★★☆☆☆] ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: Are you being deliberately obtuse? OR: life is tough for baker!lwj when online troll!wwx won't stop commenting on his recipe blog

NOTES: I know @yiling-laozu-is-loml has already read this (and the next fic) but I legally (not actually) had to include this one on this list. This fic is so damn cute- flirting through bad baking, trolling, and blogs??? What is there not to love. It is extra sweet how they end up together in the end.

13 don’t threaten me with a good time (60023 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 11/11 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Alternate Universe - The Great British Bake Off Fusion, wwx is a chaos demon determined to make gbbo more exciting, lwj cares about the Integrity of Bake-Off, who will win????, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, gbbo au, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, Enemies to Lovers, by enemies i mean BAKING RIVALS of course, the last two chapters are the twitter reactions to the show so, Social Media AU, Podfic Available Summary: “I’m using orange liqueur to make my cake more interesting. Give it a bit of a kick, you know?” Lan Wangji’s expression has only changed minutely—not a lot of range there, it seems—but Wei Wuxian can tell he is perturbed by this information. “Alcohol? In cake?” “Honestly, I’m not sure any cake should even be made without alcohol,” Wei Wuxian says, offering another beatific smile that Lan Wangji does not return. OR: the great british bake-off au???

NOTES: Bake off AU! BAKE OFF AU! It's got cakes, scandal, disasters, enemies to lovers, and clothing so distracting WWX bluescreens. A very wholesome social media + reality TV competition. I highly recommend for good vibes. Bonus with the juniors idolizing Lan Zhan- such little cuties.