#bittersweet and maybe you either grow to love or hate

[lvnesart]

Day 3 - wine

[vampirememory]

PAC | Your Love Story in Song

Someone who received a reading from me once said that I tend to write scenarios as if I'm writing a whole fanfic. While I'm not a fanfic writer, I do love writing so... This pick-a-card is about your future love story based on songs!

This can apply to your future spouse, for your future partner, etc, although it is intended to be the most impactful relationship you have. I will be using shufflemancy and intuition, plus there is a bonus moodboard/image section!

♢ There are three piles to choose from, all are CDs with writing on them/quotes. Pile one is "Songs to listen to when you're in love", pile two is "You're the only thing in life that I got right", and pile three is "Everything I could never tell you." ♢

Pile One ♢ "Songs to listen to when you're in love"

Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun

C'mon - Single Version by Panic! At The Disco & fun.

Capsize by FRENSHIP & Emily Warren

A heaviness. Two people who refuse to believe that they're in love, but rather continue to wallow in their own problems until they realize that there was someone there all along. Youth. They both take baby steps until they realize that someone has been there alongside them the whole time and together they bring themselves up. Unfortunately, the highs are high and the lows are low, and sometimes it leads to explosive fights, crying, and the neverending cycle of breakups.

It's blue. It's in the dark, two lovers holding hands as you both sob over the destruction you have caused together. You both think to yourselves "Maybe this is why we are meant to be?" A combination of hail and rain, the worst thunderstorms, and the brightest sunny days after them, but mostly because you know that others would not be able to handle your violence (not literal).

On the worst days, you almost melt into each other. On the best days, you blend and ebb with each other's flows. There is no fear in either of your depths. They can get terrifying, yes, and from an outside perspective it can be seen as a toxic, violent cycle, but it is far from the truth. It's bittersweet, it's growth, it's pulling out hair like pulling weeds and sharpening knives to cut out rotten flesh. It's painful, yes, but it's the most invigorating ride you both have ever been on, and it's the most growth you've ever had. You trigger each other in the best and worst way possible.

It's pain and ascension. Growing your wings, pulling out the flightless feathers. Scratching away dead scales, shedding and spitting up venom. Like an animal learning how to breathe again. Poetic misery.

Pile Two ♢ You're the only thing in life that I got right."

Nineteen by Dylan

Joan of Arc by Arcade Fire

Stop Making This Hurt by Bleachers

Good morning kisses and back hugs. Shared memories and shared coffee mugs, cuddles, and long movie marathons, but something is changing.

The love you shared is changing. Neither of you has gotten this far, you have no idea how to react. The passionate morning kisses become awkward side steps, the cuddles become awkward and suddenly you hate the color of the walls. You still love them, yes of course, but it's changing it's hue. Your chameleon lover is changing its colors and you haven't adjusted to the change in saturation. The giddiness goes away and becomes...comfortable. You fear that the passion is gone, you've never felt this way before. You're afraid they'll leave you.

You both lay on the duvet, staring above at the ceiling fan. Suddenly, you're both older. "How did we get here? Where has the time gone?" You both look at each other with a somewhat sad, but tender smile. The love hasn't gone away, it's just changed forms, and you're finally adjusted to the slower love you always deserved. You kiss, it's awkward and cheeky, but it brings a warmness to your body you've never felt before, a warmness you want to keep forever, and so you both do.

BONUS: While looking for images, Boreas by the Oh Hellos was playing in my head, it definitely matches the warm energy of this pile.

Pile Three ♢ "Everything I could never tell you"

East of Eden by Zella Day

Oh No! by MARINA

Mine Forever by Lord Huron

It was a hook-up, it was a fling. You never pictured that you'd actually love your goofy lover. You couldn't imagine them being serious about anyone until one night you looked into their eyes and realized it wasn't lust. Out of fear, you left, and you were terrified.

This wasn't the type of person you would bring home to your family, but rather show off to your friends and your Instagram stories, but now things are changing. They aren't the person you expected to be, and you're slowly falling in love with their dopey smile and messy hair. "Nothing can get better than this," they say with a smile, and fall asleep in your arms. You feel the same way and it scares you.

You run from it, you ghost them and break their heart just for a moment until you look at yourself in the mirror and see the person you've never wanted to become. You take off your mask and realize you're just a scared child who never knew you were worthy of love or desired love. You put in the work, you change your face, and break your old mask.

You show up to their house to apologize and try to start fresh again, and whether or not they accept your apology is up to them, but you'll never forget them regardless.

Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to check out my masterpost with more readings, or you can support me by purchasing a reading by clicking here. Thanks for the support, let me know which pile you picked and if it resonated or not :)!

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[rvllybllply2014]

Aw thank you! <3

Oh true! If spilling blood in front of the crown princess is apparently okay, then who is anyone there to argue against it? Poor lord Bracken though, seeing him crying over his son's death was hard :'(

Oh good point about how insane Bloodraven was! Along with his ruthlessness & cruelty.. I totally agree on anger, pride, and instability being a trait of the house. While the Brackens seem to favor a quiet kind of strength, not the kind to go looking for a fight but not backing down either when dragged into one, holding their ground instead.

Knowing Willem resented Raylon from his birth, I have to wonder if the reason he didn't lash out at young Raylon is because he sees something of young Amos in him.. Maybe he'd be the one to start the mocking rumor that he's a Blackwood bastard? Just to be petty?

Oof poor Amos, even if he always knew it deep down..having the truth smack him in the face, along with the knowledge Willem killed his brother.. It wasn't just Willem's heart that broke that night I'm sure. It must have been so painful for him too!

Poor doomed Aeron & Davos ;A; Can you imagine if to keep Aeron safe and to learn just how much like Willem Davos is, Amos would just straight up kidnap him and bring him to Stone Hedge? I mean he'd know better, but maybe he could attempt to convince Davos that he doesn't have to be Willem..  

Oh poor Raylon! I feel awful for him, but is it weird to feel a little relieved that a beating & sleeping outside is the worst he'd be put through? That he'd remind Willem of a younger Amos put him in more danger in my head, of a guard getting permission from Willem to get handsy in other ways..dosn't help that Raylon is cute too.. And Amos being forced to listen to his son's screams, unable to do anything to help him! I imagine he's never hated Willem more than in this moment!

And Amos chained to Willem's bed?! Forced into begging for Willem's touch after being grudgingly pushed to his limit by touches his body still remembers after so long! I wonder how much he'd be forced into begging, and how much would be him just wanting Willem to be done with it, hoping he'd grow bord after satisfying his lust.. Ooh now the real question is how would Willem treat Amos in bed? Honestly I could see him being rough (treating it like half a punishment/half a reward) and leaving marks all over Amos, as proof that he belongs to him fully! Also how many times Willem takes his pleasure, I doubt it only happens once in Raventree Hall, likely happens in their tent too! (i absolutely adore this idea btw, i'd love to read it as a fic! :D )

Amos having been the light of Willem's life..there's something so bittersweet about that :< I wonder how much of Willem's darkness Amos could have tampered if he'd never found out about his brother. I fully agree about Amos's upbringing too, that it'd get harsher after his brother's death is a nice touch! And him allowing Aeron (and likely raylong too!) to embrace his softer side while teaching him to be string still so incredibly sweet ;w; Also with how the Bracken's we've seen keep their tempers in check pretty well…imagine before they brake up, every once in a while Willem would push Amos to the point of snapping and pinning him against a tree or the ground and Willem just love it? Seeing the mix of fury & excitement in Amos's eyes? Then he could try to flip them over and crush their lips together..leading to a little passion between them ;3

Aw please don't apologize! I adore hearing your thoughts, and the Blackwoods & Brackens are often on my mind too!  I've already plenty ideas in mind just for Willem/Amos >w> One being teen Willem & Amos fighting over the boundary stones, only to both be attacked & captured by Ironborn raiders and shipped to Essos to be sold as slaves. They'd end up escaping in Slaver's Bay (after being marked) and having to depend on each other as they attempt the long trip back home, even better if they run into the Dothraki, just so Amos can bring home a Dothraki horse of his own! x3

Thoughts are under the cut. Non con.

Yes poor lord Bracken all he can do is sit there and hold Jerrell while he’s dying. Even if he wants to kill Willem right then and there he can’t, his house needs him, Amos is too young to be the lord without regents. And if he thinks Willem is insane then he just knows how much more insane his father is.

If Targaryens can have madness inherited (yes it’s the incest) who says that other houses can’t have some traits inherited. Especially between houses Blackwood and Bracken, why else would they still feud with each other centuries after house Blackwood got kicked out of the north and forced to settle in the riverlands. Plus there was only one point in history that they got along and that produced the founder of house Justman who ruled over both houses for 300 years. There’s probably something embedded into each houses dna that makes them just automatically hate the other house.

I think the quiet strength that house Bracken exhibits is because they are know for breeding horses. You don’t want to come off angry at a horse, it seems like a good way to kicked by an agitated horse. So they have to keep their anger under control, they learn to turn that anger into sternness.

Amos’s father probably told him that Jarrell was killed by a son of lord Blackwood, he probably didn’t know Willems name at the time. All he knows is that it wasn’t Samwell Blackwood. So Amos feels safeish in keeping his friendship with Samwell going. Eventually Samwell is the one to introduce Willem and Amos, and then pushes them to start dating because he can see how much they like each other.

Willem and Amos were just having a petty fight about if they could risk going to a whore house together and getting a private room along with paying for a whore only to kick her out before they fucked. Amos thinks it’s too risky too many people could see them enter the room and then the whore immediately leaving the room. Willem insists that it would be fine nobody pays enough attention to other patrons in whore houses, and if they did well the answer is simple the whore didn’t want to listen to them argue about who was going to fuck her first. So she told them to come find her when it was settled. It just continues to escalate from there until finally Willem says it was easy enough to kill Jarrell in the heat of the moment but it wouldn’t be easy to kill Amos, because he loves him damn it why can’t he see that. It’s also the first time Amos draws his sword against Willem with pure anger and hatred flashing in his eyes.

That was also the first and only time either one had told the other one that he loved him. Amos has Willem repeat the name of the Bracken that Willem killed, because he surely hadn’t heard the right name. But he had so he tells Willem it’s best if they part ways before one of them ends up dead by the other’s hand. Both their hearts shattered that night along with their dreams of having their kids unite their houses.

If Amos did kidnap Davos he’d tell him it’s for his own good, that he can still learn to embrace the softer side of himself. It’s the least Davos can do for Aeron. Unfortunately it doesn’t work, Davos escapes after seriously hurting some of Aerons friends. Amos doesn’t tell Aeron that he told him so, he just holds him and tells him that whatever he’s feeling is valid.

That’s also how Willem finds out that Raylon is the spitting image of a young Amos. Davos had gotten a glimpse of him when he was leaving Stone Hedge. Of course it hurts Willem to know that, it meant Amos had truly moved on, while Willem hadn’t. Willem couldn’t bear the thought of bedding someone who wasn’t Amos. Davos is Samwells legitimized bastard, aka Benjicot older half brother, Benjicot is still heir to house Blackwood, it’s just Willem and Davos are his regents. So yeah in a moment of hurt pride, a broken heart and just pure pettiness Willem starts the rumor of Raylon being a bastard who isn’t Amos’s btw, and Amos being forced into pretending that Raylon is his true born son.

Willem definitely will reward the guards who are told to watch Raylon. Raylons a bastard after all, after lying about Raylon being a bastard for so long Willem starts to believe it himself. So Willem doesn’t care if they beat Raylon or force him to do sexual acts, or even rape him. It truly doesn’t bother him, if Amos asks about his son he just tells him that Raylon is being treated fairly enough as someone of his status would be treated.

Willem convinces himself that even though Amos is crying every time he comes to bed it’s because of pleasure. Amos is really crying because the touches remind him of his Willem the one that he loved as a young man, the Willem touching him now is cruel. So it’s definitely a punishment to Amos, but a pleasurable reward to Willem. It’s an every night occurrence that Willem takes Amos, it’s also when they have to leave Raven Tree hall that Willem really starts to leave visible marks on Amos. Before it was mainly on Amos’s thighs, lower stomach, inner groin and butt that would be marked freshly every night. But now that they have to report to Harrenhal Willem makes sure that the marks can be seen on Amos’s neck, hands and face he will not tolerate anyone else looking at Amos and thinking that they have a chance with him. And Willem also makes sure that Amos is screaming his name every night in the tent, he wants the whole camp to know that Amos is wholly owned by him.

Willem constantly reminds Amos on the road that he’s only this way because Amos left him. If Amos had stayed maybe 10% of his light could’ve pushed 10% of Willems darkness away. He tells him maybe if Amos had said he loved him back they could’ve ran away to somewhere in Essos and Willem would’ve learned how to control his darker feeling with Amos’s help.

Yeah if teen Amos and Willem get captured and sold as slaves, they fight so hard to make sure the other leaves with him. If they’re branded their house will see how they are truly warriors, or if they’re sold to the Dothraki they’ll keep the slave collars as proof of what they went through, they’ll also steal some so they can buy passage on a ship back to Westeros. Amos definitely steals a Dothraki horse, just the one though, and makes Willem hold onto him the whole time. Shipwrights try to buy the horse off Amos, but he refuses he needs the horse to prove to his father that he really was sold into slavery. He’d already decided to let Willem keep the collars as proof. Plus he knows how valuable a Dothraki horse is, especially to his house.

[jascurka]

this is purely out of curiosity and i don't want to send hate your way, but do you ship mob and reigen? and if so, why?

I do, yeah. An ex-friend of mine asked me the exact same question (just more... harshly I think and with what I assumed was prejudice) before they decided to part our ways and I could never properly answer them because I was so stressed by the situation, it was hard to gather my thoughts. So I'll do my best to explain here, hopefully to make myself understood better.

Sorry if this gets lenghty >_< I'll just put a readmore right here.

I think the biggest reason for why I like them is their canon relationship that has been explored in the series already quite thoroughly - that they have changed eachother, helped eachother grow and one wouldn't be the person they are without the other. I think most of us understand the depth of it. Reigen is Mob's teacher and friend, someone like an older brother. There surely is a strong bond between them and they've seen each other at their best and worst and still acknowledged and accepted eachother's flaws. They trust eachother, they would give their life for eachother even (at least Reigen would, he almost did in the finale after all). And I do think that they love eachother but in a way that isn't actually romantic in canon. I'm perfectly capable of realizing that and I value it a lot both in the series and in fanworks (one of my fav works of fanfiction is about exactly that).

It was my curiosity that made me search up a ship fic of them, I was just confused why people ship them in the first place and whether it can be good and I found myself enjoying it a lot (to my surprise). It was set into the future, and dealt with some serious topics like loss and acceptance, it was kind of bittersweet. Then I felt that maybe it was just slightly ooc because all of the serirei fics I was busy reading depicted Reigen slightly different. Nontheless, I had the other ship on my mind then so I never really dived into Mob/Reigen, but it changed my perspective on them a lot.

And at some point into all this I realized, why not? Why can't I haz 2 cookies? (god im sorry that was terrible sfjgsdkj). What I mean is that the buildup canon offers can be taken further - more of their relationship can be explored in terms of new tropes, sometimes romantic too.

On a personal note I'll just add that I'm rather picky about them and tend to stick to fluff, hurt/comfort and slow slow burns. And I like them most post-canon, a few years into the future. It turns out that it all depends on how they're portrayed for me to like them anyways. I talked on here recently about a work that really had it all and portrayed their relationship in a very satisfying and mature way, with all the complicated feelings, it felt very realistic, especially on Reigen's side. So if anyone wants, here's a rec from me again -> in my dreams (I seem to be more honest) on ao3, just because I think it has all that I like about the ship.

I think that this is the whole point of fanworks - to kind of look further and have fun with it, to see "what if?". Even if it's something sort of.. taboo I guess? Because you get to take it apart in a fictional dimension (if that makes sense). And I completely understand if this is something that can ick some people out or that someone doesn't want to ruin their perception of the characters' relationship. That's totally fine by me and I'm not going to force anyone into liking the ship of course. And there are definitely tropes and tags I really don't want to look into - not everything is for me either.

And I think this goes without saying but I'll add it here anyways: what I like to see in fiction doesn't mean I would like or encourage anyone to do the same thing in real life! It's just interesting to explore from a safe distance where no one can get hurt.

[moonypears-blog]

Hi so I had ✨️thoughts✨️ on a concept for a stf episode/scenario/etc that I remembered tangentially related to your Papa story (so good btw) (also this may end up being long I'm so sorry)

It'd most likely be something geared towards an older audience (like not kindergartners lol, something for the spinoff whenever that happens maybe? Idk what the target audience for it will be considering we dont know anything about it) and framed as either a Father's Day or Halloween episode (I don't think we got any Father's day eps other than the one episode I hate with a burning passion)

Basically, Sofia is going through her things and finds something of Birk's, whether it be some sort of sailing gear or clothing or a gift or an image of them together (idk it could be anything, we know borderline nothing about this man) and she's hit with what I'm going to call the Rose Quartz effect. Missing a parent who you barely/don't know, having unanswered questions that won't/can't be answered, having all these conflicting feelings about this one person and feeling all of them yet none of them at the same time. Losing a parent at such a young age is rough and was just the tip on the iceberg of Sofia growing up far faster than she needed to.

Where am I going with this? Well, because of all of these unanswered questions and difficult emotions, Sofia wants to talk to her deceased father. Ghosts exist canonically in the series, who's to say they can't be summoned? Maybe she gets help from Cedric, or she finds a book on her own, or maybe she even gets help from Lucinda and the witches or that one ghost from the Ghostly Gala episode who's name I can't remember but I definitely had a crush on as a kid.

The main conflict of the episode would probably be all of these internal conflicting desires for Sofia, possibly also Miranda's own feelings about her belated husband (is this how you use belated? Idk lol).

Regardless of how it happens, the episode ends/has its final act with Sofia summoning her father, Birk. He sees how much his little girl has grown up, how brave and kind and smart she is. She gets to see and say goodbye to her father a final time and get proper closure. Maybe throw in a line or two there from Birk on just how grown up Sofia is, almost (definitely) too grown up for a pre-teen/adolescent girl.

The message of the episode would probably be something about grief and the process of it all, how it's okay to be angry that someone you love is gone, how talking about it opens old wounds but helps to heal them. It's bittersweet.

But yeah definitely not something suited for what the original demographic for stf was. Of course important to talk about, but with what I'm talking about it'd probably go over such young heads.

Sorry that this is so long! I had to get all my thoughts out and it got pretty rambley lmao

This is such a good idea for an episode!

I agree that Birk would be disheartened at how grown up Sofia is, obviously he'd know she's grown since she was five, but she's too far ahead, and not in the natural way that some children just emotionally mature quicker than their peers.

I think even though it's been a long time and Sofia doesn't really have anything to miss as she hardly knows life with him, she still really misses Birk, like I said in chapter two of "Papa..." some days she just wants to be by herself and lay in bed grieving him. I wish the show brought it up, especially for the potential children watching who lost one of their parents like Sofia. This would be a really good episode for that reason alone, honestly.

Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if this spin off went a more mature route, considering how a good deal of the fans are teens and adults, and there's going to be people watching who grew up on the show and are now older just out of curiosity. If I remember rightly something similar happened with miraculous ladybug, they started making the episodes more mature after the creators realised the main audience was teens and adults, not their original target audience. I've seen Craig interact with lots of older fans so he definitely knows they're a big audience!

[beanghostprincess]

People like to believe that yasopp up and left without any warning or talking about it with his wife (like that other show about gay pirates) but how his wife talked about him and how usopp views him he must of left a good impression on both of them. Yasopp most likely spent at least 5 years with his wife and kid before leaving

Okay, I actually agree wholeheartedly. I know it doesn't seem like it with how much I talk shit about Yasopp around here, but I swear I understand why he had to follow his dream and I am very aware that Banchina literally told him to do so. However! However. Even if we do know he loves Usopp and is definitely worried about seeing him because of feeling guilty for what he did (I genuinely felt so bad when he said he wasn't ready to see Usopp. Although two seconds later I literally stared at my screen and said "grow some fucking balls and see your kid". So. Yeah) I still feel some resentment toward him(?

The whole situation is pretty similar to Oden's, if you think about it. Dude wanted to stay with his family in Wano but Toki literally threatened him to go follow his dream first. That's kind of the same thing that happens with Yasopp. I think people see Yasopp as the bad guy mostly because we never see his POV and instead we just see how that affected Usopp and Banchina. Besides, Oden was away for considerably a lot less time. So,,, Not really the same, but the concept is pretty much the same thing.

I don't hate Yasopp. I understand why he left and I'm sure Usopp loves him to death, even if there are bittersweet feelings there. But there are still a lot of things that don't sit right with me? I personally just feel horrible when thinking that he's the main reason Usopp kept lying all the time and if you rewatch Syrup Island now it just hurts more. The fact that he met Luffy and spent time with him, too? It's just, uh, idk, it feels weird. Besides, send a letter or something. Try to call your son, maybe? Perhaps try to have a way of communicating with him before going away for years? I think we can't ignore the fact that one of the reasons why Usopp is so insecure might probably be him. Not to blame him for everything, because of course Usopp has more personality and insecurities that have nothing to do with Yasopp. But you know. It just feels weird.

Now this part is just personal but parents who leave their children make my blood boil with anger and even if I understand why he did it and everything, I will never completely like Yasopp. Not until we see more of him and Usopp, at least.

And also, I still think the crew (leaving what I personally think aside) would not like Yasopp. Especially Sanji, probably. Not because I'm a Sanuso shipper (although it really affects my opinion on this ngl) but because I think Sanji would have a very strong view of what fatherhood is and he refuses to see Usopp getting hurt again. And I think I said this before but Nami and Zoro would not really like Yasopp either, not unless Usopp verbally tells them he's on good terms with his dad.

I just think Usopp and Yasopp's relationship is very complicated. It isn't about Yasopp being a good dad or not (same thing with Uta and Shanks too, honestly. People keep saying that he's a deadbeat when he was just a stupid dad trying to protect his daughter and that decision ended up backfiring). A lot of people have different views on this, and I think we're all right in some way. He loves his son and Usopp loves his dad and they admire each other a lot. But that doesn't fix what's broken, either. I personally am so excited to see them reunite and see how Oda writes it!!!

[ravenkinnie]

i love love love the way you write jinx and the way you talk about her and her relationships!!! not to be annoying bc a lot of ppl in the fandom are like 16/17 but the general interpretation of jinx as little more than a victim of her circumstances and silco’s manipulation who should make up with her sister, be caitvi’s slightly annoying third wheel and ekko’s (or lux? lmao nothing against either ship but yk) quirked up gf is soooo boring (like god forbid a girl contains multitudes and is both a meow meow and an absolute cunt) and your take on her is such a breath of fresh air! not sure if you talked about this in a post already but what are your hopes in general for the new season and ofc for jinx in particular?

❤️❤️❤️ that's my pookie and even tho I'm hoeing across runeterra she will always be the one

no fr fr and listen I do feel like I'm fighting in a kindergarten when I hate because I realise it's cause everyone I'm beefing with is 18 and just likes the same YA archetypes as everyone else at that age but if 10k bitches can post it on ao3 I can hate on it. especially because it erases a supremely well done character that they made out of a lol champion I wouldn't even think twice about when she first released like that's a talent and that's work

and also if people want to complain about female characters in media it feels disingenuous to then remove agency from complicated female characters we do have to make them one dimensional - like one thing you cannot say about jinx is that she's flat - in personality I mean cause well. she is an active dynamic character with insane narrative potential and a lot of layers and being both a victim and a victimiser is an important part of that

my main hopes for season 2 are honestly

*I hope its consistent internally with its own ideology </3 I think s1 at the end starts unraveling a lil because it seems to despair for this both sides ass take but it just wouldn't make any sense with league lore or the show itself. here I mostly fear for ekko gkbknj

*everybody should become a somewhat worse person, like vi provably will because she will become an enforcer, caitlyn seems to also be heading for some corruption arc, obv viktor is there, so I think this will be fulfilled teehee

*I want jinx to have her own arc and I mean an arc where she develops her own goal and motivations outside other characters too and maybe this goal will be to love evil till the day she dies, ill take it!! I just think seeing jinx grow outside that child/flighty troublemaker into a full on villain/terrorist will be fantastic and will also give her actual league lore another layer that hopefullyyyy they can continue to build on (and they will never stop banking on jinx like that's basically leagues mascot)

*mel survives </3 like it would be way too much of a loss of a great character to give her so little storyline of her own, she needs to be in s2

*overall, sorry to be a freak but I'm a tragedy lover and enjoyer and I know they are tied to champion lore somewhat now but I still hope it ends sad or bittersweet for everyone. and when you say tragedy people often think of character death but that's probably the least tragic ending you can give a bitch, the true hollowness in losing everything you once were and could have been is what im talking about!!

*I did say this before but I hope jinx kills imagine dragons in arcane universe. first of all they are touring in israel so they deserve that but also it would be really funny to see them on her list of victims like just whole ass imagine dragons under silco or sth

[tumblingxelian]

Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Soulmate Struggles

Summary:

Wednesday has always loathed the idea of a Soulmates. Emotions of warm nostalgia and love forced on her for a stranger by the whims of fate? IF she ever meets the people whose marks match hers she will ensure she doe snot become a slave to passion as her parents did!

Bianca had always feared meeting her Soulmates. Already terrified of the power she had over the minds of others she could think of nothing kinder than to reject them as harshly as possible.

Enid had always longed too meet her soulmates, hoping to find two kindred spirits who could perhaps love her without conditions or demands.

Too bad for the three of them what they got was each other.

Concept:

This is likely one of m most painful ideas, and definitely the one that explores Wednesday's toxic traits the most overtly.

The nature of soulmates in this world is that as you grow and aspects of your personality, temperament ETC settle in you develop a connection with your soulmate/soulmates.

But all this means is that you have some base comparability. It says nothing for beliefs, ideologies and little for life experience.

Despite this, because of the schooling systems and such most people meet their soulmates in their onw age brackets, communities. schools ETC. & from this comes the entirely cultural expectation of romance, despite the fact soulmates are not inherently romantic or platonic, they just are.

As a result, lots of people with soulmates outside their age range or no soulmate tend to experience some stigma or at least judgement.

This also means a lot of soulmate relationships actually end up really unhealthy and or destructive but not enough that its become a talked about problem. But yeah, basically despite the comforting feeling a soulmate provides, any relationship actually requires work.

This story was also inspired by the concept of "This will always be our first" That is to say, a first meeting, a first reaction, a first date and one party intentionally making it worse either out of some mild selfishness that just exploded or even a degree of malice.

The two inspirations I drew from were:

RWBY's volume 9 with main character Ruby Rose, having been driven to a breakdown lashes out at those around her. Including her sister and her girlfriend because their budding relationship and happiness is just agony to see when she's in so much pain. Any other day or time she'd be over the moon for them, but the tragic thing is this will always be the reaction they all remember.

The other was from a Wenclair fic, where despite having been engaged for months, Wednesday did not tell her parents until she & Enid touched down at the airport. Morticia was awkward & Gomez was distraught and ended up fighting Enid who then went to her & Wednesday's room to be depressed because that too will always be her first meeting with Wednesday's parents.

The first being bad is not something that cannot be worked through but it is inherently bittersweet I feel.

Characters:

Enid: Wow I have two soulmates… Maybe they will, I dunno, love me unconditionally? 🙂 Wednesday: Emotions. Complicated. Vulnerability. Awful. Hate them, you did this to me, how dare you. Stay away! Bianca: I don't like affecting anyone's mind by my mere presence, I hate the idea of someone doing it to me even more, I will not be made vulnerable, so stay away!

Bianca & Wednesday: You made me feel emotions against my will. Die. Enid: Wow, both my soulmates are like this… Great… I'm so lucky... :/

Kinbott is actually a better therapist in this cos her soulmate is platonic, IE Cassie from Uriah's heap. SO she is a bit socially isolated herself and more thoughtful. She also has a thing for Principle Weems who was Gomez's soulmate but that didn't pan out.

Chapters:

As noted, this story would definitely be delving into some of Wednesday & to a lesser extent Bianca's more toxic defense mechanism and general attitudes.

Be they born from being indulged by her parents but socially isolated in Wednesday. Or traumatized by her mother and adopting an extremely toxic self image in Bianca.

Enid will be contextualized below:

Chapter 1:

When encountering Enid for the first time, both register they are soulmates. Desperate to avoid her parents cooing, Wednesday is quick to evacuate the situation and Enid surprisingly enables her.

Through the tour, Enid is much more indulgent of Wednesday and generally open even revealing her issues with transforming. She in essence pulls her rib cage open so Wednesday can see her heart.

Wednesday uses this as a chance to stomp on it.

Partially because of her complexes regarding emotions but also because she thinks Enid is just 'that way; because of the Soul Mark and she just wants her gone and so is generally the worst.

Enid puts up with it until the next morning, where she gently confronts Wednesday and Wednesday keeps trying to antagonize her:

"I really wanted you to feel welcome and safe, to make the feeling the mark is meant to give real. & now… That first day and night will always be how we met. (Deep breath) You didn't want I offered, and fair enough, but-"

"Are your ears as broken as your transformation pick it u-"

Enid literally tackles her to the floor, nearly breaks her wrists and snarls against her throat.

"I have spent my entire life pouring love and dedication down a bottomless pit. I will not do it again. You don't want me? Fine! But I am not your servant, not your friend and not your family. Never demand anything of me again you spoiled brat!"

Then she gets up and walks to class like nothing happened.

Wednesday lies on the floor for awhile longer processing:

1: She drastically misread Enid's personality. 2: She just got physically outdone by a peer for the first time ever. 3: Evidently the soul mark did not make Enid a simpering wreck. 4: For the first time in years, Wednesday felt a spike of fear.

Chapter 2:

Displeased by all that, Wednesday wants to get back on the horse so to speak and restore some of her damaged confidence and also figure out how the hell that happened.

Mostly cos it runs contrary to how she thinks soulmates work despite she herself not following the 'rules' of soulmates.

She & Bianca have their encounter and there is not even any speaking. Both register the other as their soulmate and draw swords and it is on sight, because both of them would rather an enemy that let someone in close.

Wednesday still loses so she's still not having a great time. Especially as it turns out Enid is more interested in chatting up a vampire than her or Bianca!

Enid is not outright blanking her, or hating her, but just treating her like any other student she happened to share a room with.

Wednesday would find cloying affection smothering but not unexpected and she would find hatred acceptable.

But it turns out just being kind of dismissed, really gets under her skin. So she storms off, meets Xavier, is generally caustic ETC.

After the Gargoyle incident Enid did show some concern but very generalized, "We're both Outcasts & you are a person who almost died?" and then gets distracted and spends the rest of the night chatting with Thing.

Wednesday's music garners no real reaction from Enid, though we see Bianca having a not emotionally fun time of it in her room because of it.

After that when they go to be, Enid even says, "Night Wednesday." But that's also its, it's so dismissive, it's so... casual.

Wednesday was not built for casualness.

Wednesday was built for soul crushing devotion be it hatred or love!

Chapter 3:

Because of these elements she does not have Enid's help trying to get out of Nevermore. As a result she may actually turn to Bianca because "We both want me gone, help me make it happen." Which may even cut Tyler out for a bit.

Still, the two otherwise remain in their ongoing "We will be eternal enemies/I will ensure you never get close" stalemate. Its not healthy but both deem it acceptable.

Meanwhile Enid begins to fixate on Enid either in her first session or a later one, talks to Kinbott solely cos she wants an outsider perspective on Soul Marks and obsession.

We learn about her ties to Uraih's heap and that soul mark obsession is just down to obsessive people.

IE, Wednesday is obsessing because she's prone to such behavior and because Enid dismantling and then dismissing her is a huge blow to self identity. Wednesday is used to being rejected, or hated, or feared and even adored without resveration from her family.

She is not used to being looked at like a spoiled teen and summarily dismissed as unimportant and it makes her feel like Enid is 'winning' some kind of contest she's not even playing but Bianca is.

Chapter 4:

Wednesday & Larissa do get that hot choc, & Wednesday does fix the machine & Tyler says he owes her. Later, when drinking, Tyler interrupts claiming Thornhill called and could not get through on her mobile.

Its a brief distraction but it lets Wednesday scribble a note demanding his number and she gets in on the receipt and organizes her extraction.

Cue the festival a brief interaction where Enid warns her of Tyler's hate crimes.

Wednesday tries to ply it into being about her rather than Outcast solidarity but is shrugged off as Enid goes off with Yoko, leaving her in a bad mood.

Yes Wednesday is still jealous of Yoko, she cannot escape it XD

Kinbott is there and chatting with Larissa but not enough to distract her.

Then Wednesday blocks two darts flying at her head and one ends up in her hand.

Bianca shouts "Rowan!" Who takes off running and is followed by Wednesday into the forest.

His ambush doesn't work though cos Bianca was after him to and she knows he is a telekinetic. So she manages to knock him out with a drug and steal the book. Bianca likely knows she has it but won't cause a scene around the sheriff.

Gaplin tries to shoot her but is stopped by Weems and Kinbolt makes sure Rowan is alive before practically shouting the man down and then helps carry Rowan back to Nevermore while Weems rounds up all her students.

Wednesday wants Bianca to use her siren song to make him talk which makes her livid and Kinbolt has to intervene a bit and also reveals its not useful for that as the subject just says what the person wants to hear in their own head not their own mind.

After that, Enid arrives.

Turns out Thing fell out of Wednesday's pocket and she was so pissed off she sort of forgot him in the chase.

So, Thing is sulking & Wednesday is initially more interested in trying to get info on Rowan and or proving a point to Enid to acknowledge it so they clamber back over to Enid to sulk and they go off with Yoko to do their nails.

Though not before revealing Rowan was "More like a normie than Kinbolt."

IE, he did not like other outcasts besides his fellow psychics.

Basically a more extreme version of Xavier's distrust and contempt for Bianca and Sirens in general.

Enid: (Puts Thing in her hand) Rowan was always like, 'Oh you may be outcasts (Sneers) But I am the only Outcaaast! (Falls back and it caught by Yoko. They then put an equally dramatic Thing back on her shoulder and leave.)

Wednesday and Bianca are shooed out while Weems and Kinbolt try to get Rowan to talk (Gaplin is being yelled at by the mayor for almost killing a 15 year old)

She & Bianca likely have a tense stand off regarding the book Rowan stole but Bianca needs to keep her secrets and despite being presumably able to Siren Song Wednesday into giving it to her does not. Instead promising to collect it with her scaled hands later, before ominously vanishing through a secret passageway.

Wednesday returns to her dorm room to find it empty.

Her victory over Rowan, briefly a restorative of confidence now tastes like ashes, the book seems useless, Bianca refused to fight and Enid is still vexing her mind.

She shatters the window, as loudly as possible.

Enid comes racing up and Wednesday antagonizes her and Enid's claws and fangs come out and she's barely held back by Yoko and Thing. But more by the arrival of Thornhill making them all have a "Sleep over" with Yoko cos its dangerous to be in a room with so much broken glass.

The three mostly ignore Wednesday and go on about their nails and let Enid vent about the window, but it never ties back to soulmates, or romance, or anything Wednesday wants it too and they eventually go to sleep, with Thing giving her a judgmental vibe lecture while safety out of reach.

Back to square one, incredibly frustrated!

Notes:

As noted, this story is kind of exploring Wednesday at her most intensely bratty, but I think the window would be the farthest it would go so after that there is nowhere to go but up.

Ya know, maybe.

But she & Bianca still have a lot of issues to work through and if either of them ever want anything more than a superficial understanding of Enid she will need to overcome her distrust.

It will likely be revealed in the Rowan bit that Xavier lied to Bianca about not having a soulmate when trying to become her boyfriend. This also comes up in the herbology class when he tries to flirt with Wednesday and fails hard.

Chapter 5:

I think Wednesday may actually, after a point call her mother and kinda low key ask if she's spoiled and or being childish.

"Your father and I wanted you to have every freedom, every opportunity to explore your passions as you pleased. We have always been astounded by you, but... Perhaps in doing so we did not impart to you some key lessons."

"You think I am broken. The-"

"NEVER. A child cannot be wrong or broken or unwanted in anyway. All this is is that your father and I expected your to enter a contest without imparting to you the rules, you are not at fault for anything."

She later asks Wednesday for a favor.

"You are doing very poorly at imposing limits, mother."

She wants Wednesday to tell Weems she and Kinbolt will have a lovely tea together in her office.

Cos of the attack, Wednesday has another appointment with Kingbolt earlier and imparts the message to her instead and claims its the Weathervane to try and see if she can influence visions. She doesn't get to know if she can.

Also Rowan is taken off campus by his father so he lives but Wednesday gets no more answers from him.

Final Notes:

But yeah that's about where I am with it.

But I wanted to explore the idea of soul bonds but with the romantic angle being entirely socially engineered. Pus other aspects for the casts as you may have noticed :3c

Oh, also Bianca is more shocked by Thing than Kinbolt, a hint that she is from a background that isolated her from the Outcast community compared to Enid or Yoko who are just sorta like, "Weird but neat" and "My sire has a haunted samurai mask that constantly yells at us. Thing is way more polite."

[twothpaste]

Giegue/giygas for the ask game, maybe?

First impression: I learned about Giygas through internet osmosis long before I even thought to play EarthBound. All the usual "ooooh this game is secretly sooo dark" and "he's ack-chewally an aborted fetus, see, oooo" kinda shit. I remember it giving me the impression Mother was way scarier and edgier than it turned out to be. (I played games like OFF and Yume Nikki first though. So by the time I got around to Mother, it was very refreshing to play somethin bright & uplifting at its core, lmao.) (In retrospect, I kinda wish Giygas wasn't among the first things every prospective player is told about the EarthBound. Going into the Giygas battle blind seems like it would've rearranged my brain molecules, and I wish I'd gotten to experience it like that.) I forget when exactly I learned about Giegue (I didn't get to play M1 blind either), but I'm pretty sure my first impression was honestly pretty neutral? The imposing presence of a huge alien spaceship, 8-bit sci-fi machinery, and a barely legible creature in a capsule was pretty wicked to see for myself the first time though!

Impression now: Giygas is a big triple decker chocolate layer cake worth of metaphor & symbolism. The existential horror of growing up, the fear of losing who you fundamentally are in the process, the horrific inhumanity adults are capable of, the hopelessness of coming to terms with the world as it is, and so on. Not really a character per se, but the quintessential globular slurry of adolescent angst Ness & pals've gotta contend with. Giegue is a bittersweet little story about a broken family. An internal conflict between vengeance, familial love, and maybe where one's obligations lie? Cool antagonist for sure. I wanna like him more than I do (M1's cryptic hands-off approach to storytelling is hard for me to sink my teeth into 😔). I've speculatively written (and drawn a comic for the upcoming zine 😉) about how Giegue became Giygas, and read some good fics on the topic. In the canon we're given, though? There's really so little binding them together narratively or thematically… I have a difficult time reconciling the two, in the context of the games themselves. Mother 2 in general feels more like a reboot than a sequel - and there's hardly if any "lore" weaving Giegue & Giygas together - so Itoi's choice to declare they're one and the same just seems kinda odd to me. C'est la vie. Fan creators make do.

Favorite moment: The Giygas battle, but like, before he goes sicko mode. When he's bound to a chamber of wires and innards, reflecting Ness' face back at him, and it turns out our fervently raving buddy Porky is actually the one in "control". The atmosphere is so intense and unnerving, such a bizarre yet captivating way to ramp things up. There's like, this sense of stomach-churning dread, as you begin - if only scarcely - to realize the alien overlord you were expecting is an entity far more powerful and personal and helpless and incomprehensible than you ever could've imagined. I mean. You know, because the internet spoiled you when you were 11. But in the bigness of the moment it still makes my mitochondria itch on a primal and cellular level. /pos. Love it.

Idea for a story: My favorite Giegue thing is the vague implication (??) of whatever the hell George did to to him. Y'know, whatever made him hate humanity so much. Whenever I see fan content speculating on how George might've experimented on him or mistreated him I do in fact Feel Somethin' There. (I have been a sucker for angsty-creature-in-a-lab stories from the time I saw Mewtwo Strikes Back in kindergarten all the way to Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 a couple months ago, and I don't suppose I'll ever be sick of 'em.) The conflict it introduces between George and Maria is intriguing too. Like, her husband's treating her dearly beloved child like a science project? Trying to extract the secrets of PSI from his oversized alien brain?? You know if this kinda shit went down, those two were on a caliber of divorce drama the world has rarely seen.

Unpopular opinion: I really like Giegue design interpretations that're freaky and grotesque and biologically unfamiliar. When the beast isn't just mammalian in nature. Truly out of this world.

Favorite relationship: A mean-spirited but otherwise ordinary 13-year-old willingly aligned himself with the alien emodiment of all things evil. And the alien embodiment of all things evil willingly let the kid be his right-hand man. And I'm normal about it. EarthBound tells us basically nothing about how Porky n' Giygas' partnership in crime came to be, but speculating about it sends me into a shark frenzy. Porky seeking power over the world that wronged him, at literally any cost. Giygas weaponizing a child's worst, most vengeful impulses. Porky ultimately usurping Giygas, at least in terms of agency. Witnessing the absolute horror his "master" becomes, and simply sidestepping out of the universe itself to dodge the mess he brought about. I like to imagine there was a period where Giygas was still cognizant enough to maintain a rapport with Porky - and that the two of them fucking hated each other. Both of 'em using the other as a means to an end, assured in the conviction they're the one with the upper hand. And they're kind of both wrong. Bloaw up da worl.

Favorite headcanon: Giegue/Giygas speaks (telepathically?) with a rural midwestern accent. Courtesy of the fine folks who raised him. Other aliens probably think it's weird and mondo cringe, but are too intimidated to say so.

[silentcryracha]

HEAR ME OUT BESTIE 🗣️ skz as type of movie genres!!!

HI BESTIE LOL, thanks for the suggestion, this is such a fun one! Hope you'll like it!

Warnings: none

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan - A superhero movie ; where there's the rising of a hero, or its origins, a villain trying to mess up his plans and the classic love interest and sidekicks to help save the day. Something that encloses a lot of genres into one (action, romance, comedy, a hero story and a good theme song). Think, anything Marvel, especially spiderman, captain america and so on.

Minho - A romantic lifelong story ; where two very normal people meet one day and slowly fall in love, until some difficulties splits them up, but they reconnect later on and grow old together. Romantic, hopeful, dramatic. Think The notebook, me before you, Love, Rosie and so on.

Changbin - A movie about an inspiring true story ; a movie about the building of a career, and all the ups and downs of it, the good and bad moments and finally the rising to stardom/success. If it's about a music industry related career, even better. Think A star is born, Rocketman, Bohemian Rhapsody, tick tick boom and so on.

Hyunjin - A romantic period drama ; think about all the beauty and detail of an older time, may be ancient or more modern, like 1940's movie, but it must be dramatic, full of stolen glances and a full blown passion later on. The aesthetic part of it and the romance aspect are the perfect mix, along with drama and maybe some longing. Think about Pearl Harbor, Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Titanic and so on.

Jisung - A romance where both the main characters are messy ; imagine an apparently quirky rom com that as the plot thickens almost turns into a drama. Or a movie about love that explores it in all its layers and issues, maybe even toxic relationships. It must be written extremely well, have a nice aesthetic that fits the vibe and a lot of emotion. Think about The words, Decisions to leave, Edward Scissorhands, Only lovers left alive and so on.

Felix - A fun and wholesome musical ; I'm thinking Mamma Mia! style, where you have both the fun vibe, the music and the emotions. Something that needs to be also beautiful aesthetically but manage to pull your heartstrings too. Could be centered about romantic love, or familiar love. Examples, Mamma mia!, Walking on sunshine, In the heights, Enchanted and so on.

Seungmin - A summer love movie; a movie that was centered about young people falling in love for the first time, or having a romantic 'summer love' either with a happy ending or a bittersweet goodbye. It needs to have innocent romance, maybe some 'firsts', some angst but also the fresh vibe of the summer. Think about To All the boys I've loved before, The last song, Grease and so on.

Jeongin - A coming of age movie ; similar to Seungmin because it's a subgenre of 'coming of age' movies, but in his case I mean more on the comedy side rather than the dramatic side. A bunch of friends just trying to survive their lives, finding new loves, dealing with school and families. Something like Angus, thongs and perfect snoggings, the perks of being a wallpaper, 10 things I hate about you and so on.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[all-souls-matinee]

Quick-bite reviews: Lady in White (1988) dir. Frank LaLoggia

Writer Frankie Scarlatti reflects on his idyllic 1960s childhood, which changed the Halloween night he witnessed a ghost reenact her own murder, and was nearly killed himself.

This is one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen. I was going to compare it to Spielberg in that it handles dark topics through the lens of something very saccharine and nostalgic, but halfway through realized a more apt comparison is Stephen King. I don't want to give the impression that LaLoggia doesn't have a unique voice (you don't get 'weird' without that), but King is all over individual story beats and character relationships; elements being autobiographical and its being based on a local legend only add to that. I do think the funniest difference is that while King imbues his writing with a christian system of morality and spirituality he's extremely critical of the church, whereas LaLoggia adheres to that same system but is extremely Italian Catholic.

(fig.1- sure.)

I mention Spielberg and King, maybe the most popular living American filmmaker and writer, to give an idea of the tone and stress that this is a well-crafted, commercially-minded movie. The weirdness rears its head in two ways:

It's violent in a way I've never seen before. Not something at odds with the movie's goals, but other artists working in this subgenre would probably shy away from actually showing children be stalked, harmed, or killed, and here it's done in a way that lingers and feels uncomfortably real. Most would also probably shy away from the civil rights subplot that goes nowhere and ends with a graphic hate crime. I'm guessing it was a topic on LaLoggia's mind (understandably so growing up in NY in the 60s and working there in the 80s), but it causes trouble in that it starts to call attention to African American absence and systemic racism within the movie's warm depictions of American life, and then doesn't follow through on that attention. I'm honestly still trying to parse it and I wonder if LaLoggia was too; it seems like he realized it was more suited for a central conflict than a subplot so tries to quietly drop it altogether.

It's a mystery that's not on a schedule. To focus on atmosphere over plot gives it the feeling of an indie drama,* which is fine, but the driving force is two concurrent mysteries, so we get scenes where a character will discover a vital piece of information and then instead of following up on it they go to have fun outside with whimsical autumnal music (there's even an early scene that feels so oddly placed it immediately comes to mind as a clue.) Whereas the violence confused me in a negative way this confused me in a very positive one; I kind of loved it. I don't think the solution to either mystery is bad, and I like that the guy wrote a bittersweet coming-of-age novel that's fighting for its life to be an HBO serial killer miniseries.

I mostly just appreciated that Lady in White is so memorable. No idea if it's 'good,' jury's still out, but it has a concrete sense of place and purpose, and that does a lot of heavy lifting in storytelling.

Buy a ticket? I think you have to already like 80s movies and be willing to put up with a lot of bullshit (not mutually exclusive), but if that's the case then yes.

*It was the first and only occasion that a single, feature film was financed [through a penny stock offering.]!

[writethatdown]

hi! i'm sorry to bother you, but you always seems to be able to listen, if you don't feel like awnsering either don't worry! i just needed to let it out ig. it's been weird lately, getting older, it seems like my friends aren't the same, maybe i'm not even the same, but still, it hurts so much? i get that feeling that everyone's doing their own thing, getting what they want, it's usually such important stuff, and i'm stuck here, with some silly hobbys that im not that great at but it just makes me feel so alive? idk, growing up is so fucked

hi love,

i am so sorry for this very very very late reply. i didn't make time for my tumblr for a few months and answering everything in my inbox is long overdue. of course you are not a bother! let me just dissect parts of your ask and answer them.

growing up is a crazy crazy thing. sometimes the pain of getting into adulthood can seem bigger than us. it is utterly confusing and it might feel like we don't have enough tools to get through everything, especially with people in our lives. suddenly the "forever" or people we see in our dreams start to fade and it's this bittersweet thing you can't stop. it's completely valid to feel confused, lost, and hurt by such experiences and i hope you have the strength to go through them, move past all of this and shed and evolve into more authentic experiences, goals, and people.

we attract people based on our value at that instant in time. and when values change, people who cannot either catch up or accept them will fall out. it's a sad thing. but that also means that new people are out there for newer versions of yourself!

i know you might have already heard that all adults are struggling in some way, no matter how proficient, capable, talented, and organized one seems, we are all in this massive maze of adulting, everyone trying their own strategies to find a path. it's true my love. i know it's hard to accept and the bad part seems that you can't possibly force yourself to accept something as well. you just have to let time make sense to you.

milestones, achievements, goals, the next best thing out there, everything and anything might scare you when you think long enough. especially like you said, seeing our once close friends making waves where you haven't reached yet. a gentle reminder that it doesn't decrease your worth, capacity for success, or your ability to any amount.

please don't disregard whatever is your silly hobby. please don't disown them just because there is no monetary benefit. society's chant of being good at your hobbies has instilled in us to make us hate the act of creation. do not let go of your craft, no matter how insignificant it seems to you or the world. if it makes you happy, it doesn't have to make any sense furthermore.

i know it feels tiring. i really want to insist on i know. and all of this feeling is valid. you will get there in time. make peace with this uncertainty and cultivate the belief that you'll handle whatever life has for you because my love you survived all bad days and every setback 100% by yourself and you can do it still. i am routing for you!

[handsome-wise-strong]

Thanks so much for tagging me @unohanabbygirl 💛

1. How many works do you have on ao3

I have 4! Clearing the Storm Clouds, Love You to Death, Dandelion Heart, and Bittersweet Acts of Unconditional Love.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

119,359

3. What fandoms do you write for?

HOTD, specifically Lucemond and Jacelaena.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1.Clearing the Storm Clouds

2.Love You to Death

3.Bittersweet Acts of Unconditional Love

4.Dandelion Heart

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to respond to every single comment, but after my hiatus I don’t really have the energy. I still really appreciate them though, and I hope I can start replying to them again soon.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I actually don’t think I’m capable of writing an angsty ending to a fic… but maybe Love You to Death? With the current vision I have of the conclusion.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dandelion Heart will end with only pure domestic bliss 💛

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in the HOTD fandom. I think I got like one snippy comment on the very first Lucemond fic I posted but that’s about it. In this fandom, everyone has very strong opinions so I’m used to the odd comment every now and then but I definitely wouldn’t call them hate comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, even though I don’t feel I’m very good at it lol. It’s usually always purely devoted and lovelorn smut ?? I guess that’s how to describe it ??

10. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one?

I don’t! That’s something I don’t think I could pull off very well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah, I don’t think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I haven’t. I’m a bit shy when it comes to my writing and my process so I don’t think I’d be comfortable sharing that with anyone else.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In HOTD - Lucemond, in GOT - Sansan or Theonsa, and just overall - Merthur from Merlin .

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My first HOTD fic, Bittersweet Acts of Unconditional Love. It’s a simple fic I started just to dip my toe into the world of HOTD writing, and it’s purpose was just to see how many parallels I could make between Lucemond and every other pairing in the show. I don’t particularly like my writing in it, and I’ll probably always have it on the back burner.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea honestly. I like to think I’m fairly good at capturing the loneliness and growing pains that come with being a young adult. I also like to think I portray sibling relationships accurately, since I have a big family.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Again, I have no idea. I usually don’t like the dialogue I write. I’m also really shitty at writing Westeros politics lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Does High Valyrian count? I use it sometimes, but honestly all translation apps are shitty. As for real world languages, I only know a little bit of Korean and German, so I wouldn’t be confident in using those either.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Definitely Harry Potter. I was in love with Draco Malfoy 😅

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Dandelion Heart!!! Even though it’s my least popular one. I put the most heart into that one, and I love exploring the characters in the modern world. Every chapter is so fluffy and it fills my heart with warmth whenever I go back and re-read it. I love Helaena so much too, and honestly I feel like I’m falling in love with her along with Jace in every new chapter I write.

Again, thanks so much for tagging me! I really love doing ask games. I’m tagging @unusual-raccoon 💛

[invisiblegarters]

Eternal Yesterday Episode 6

You know, in general I avoid sad BL. 

I don’t like sad in my romance, for the most part. For me, romance is escapism and I do not find sad stuff cathartic enough to get any real enjoyment out of it. 

So I really can’t fathom why I love this show so much, and why this episode was probably my second favorite one so far, after episode three. I especially can’t fathom why I’ve watched this ep not once or twice but three times already, and I fully plan on watching it at least once more (and probably more than that) when the Viki version hits. I can’t even say I didn’t know what I was getting into, because I knew quite a bit about the source material before the first ep even aired and I knew that this can only end bittersweet at best. Because like it or not, Koichi is not going to stay. And this episode was all about Mitsuru being confronted with that stark, simple truth over and over again, each instance battering at the walls of his denial until they fell around him and he was forced to face it. 

Koichi is on borrowed time. They both know it, in spite of Mitsuru doing his level best to pretend that there’s some magical fix out there, or that Koichi will just stay on pause forever (never thinking too hard about the implications of that one, either - what if Koichi did stay on pause? Mitsuru would still grow and age and change while Koichi never would, never could. What if in a fit of carelessness he hurt his body even further? What if his existence faded for everyone but Mitsuru until he was reduced to a pale shadow of himself, a spectre haunting Mitsuru’s every step because there is nowhere else to go? We see shades of the last in this episode, and we see exactly how well Mitsuru doesn’t handle it), and they both have to come to grips with it. 

Koichi is managing that, I think. I fully believe he only came back for Mitsuru, and that’s why the only time his calm acceptance of his own death and eventual disappearance shatters is when he sees how badly it’s hurting him. He doesn’t care for himself, maybe can’t care for himself, but he still does care for Mitsuru. And he’s such a sweetheart that it kills me - Mitsuru wasn’t the only one who saw the parallels in the biology teacher’s story and theirs, and his whole “can’t there be two number ones?” thing was, I believe, entirely meant as a gentle nudge to Mitsuru for when he’s gone. It had nothing to do with his own feelings (pfft, when Mitsuru thought that he wouldn’t like it if Koichi cared for someone as much as him I rolled my eyes so hard. Boy has seen no one but Mitsuru since the first time they met eyes, he’s not talking about himself) and everything to do with taking care of Mitsuru, making sure that he knows that it’s okay to find another person to love when Koichi goes where he can’t follow.   

It hurts. I can’t pretend that this episode didn’t make me a wreck. I also won’t pretend that I’m not going to be thinking about it off and on all week, which has been the case with pretty much every episode so far. I still don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. 

I can’t compliment the actors enough, honestly. They’re both knocking it out of the park and I hate them a little for that, because if they were just a little worse at their jobs maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much. 

[thegirlunseen]

A Poem About Graduation/Growing Up

As I near graduation and 18

I can’t help but look back

With a smile I look back

With tears in my eyes I look back

With pain I look back

With laughter I look back

To the little girl playing tag under the umbrella of a pine tree

Which seemed so large

An evergreen tent provided by mother nature

A tree we no longer can fit under

A tent that seems so small

A tree that was bulldozed with that school

To the little girl crying

Headless dandelions in her hand

Heads popped off by a kid

And the boy who gave her another single one

To help her feel better

To the feeling of playing on our playset in the backyard

A hose down the slide

Our cousins with us

A quaint suburban neighborhood

The feeling of returning to find that neighborhood further developed

The infinite backyard replaced with houses

The hill deemed Whale Mountain

Nothing but a memory

To the little girl who daydreamed about being 16

About marrying her prince

About a boy from k4, despite no longer being at that school

To the girl watching fireflies through the window with her sister

But they’re every color of the rainbow

And years down the line we wonder if it was a shared dream

Or maybe if fairies are real

To the girl in 2nd grade

Who vowed with stars in her eyes to get straight As

And become a doctor

Who argued for more homework

Wanting to be challenged

And loving to learn

To when me and my sister cleaned our room

And to motivate ourselves

We pretended we had the Omnitrix from Ben 10

And us rushing around at top speeds throwing things in bins

Pretending to be the speed alien

To the little girl

The first time she cried over forgetting an assignment

And how it felt when mother started bragging about that

To the girl

Who realized that things are different

And you can’t befriend everyone by just being nice

To the girl told she’s not an original friend

Who made up stories on the playground

The times her friends left her alone

To the girl who is suddenly anxious over everything

Who hoped for love

And ended up dating a boy she never loved

And who ended up hurting her

To the girl experiencing her first panic attack

Sitting against the door

Hearing her mom and stepdad argue

Blaming herself for no reason

To the girl who started growing up too fast

Who started falling

Who started crying at night

Who isolated

Who failed

Who felt overwhelmed

Who maintained her grades for that 8 year old girl

To the girl who became me

And as I watch the finish line grow near

I keep looking back

Back to the little girl

Who didn’t feel lonely in a crowded room

Who didn’t doubt her parents love

Who didn’t hate what she saw in the mirror

Who wasn’t afraid to trust

Who still had stars in her eyes

Who felt safe

And whole

And I weep

Longing to go back

To experience that peace

To be picked up and held by my mom

To not understand the bad in the world

I can’t hug her either

Be there when she needed love

So that she doesn’t have to feel alone

To be proof we made it through

It's ironic

Because while I’m looking back

Longing to be young

I see her staring back at me

Longing to be a teen

My eyes meet hers

And I blink

She blinks

She smiles

And I smile

And I step away from the mirror

It's time to graduate

(In her I find peace

In me she finds freedom)

——————————————————

Authors note : the parentheses are just a thought that popped into my mind while writing all of this in one go. I don’t know what it means. I know I feel a little bittersweet about graduation. I can’t remember if I wrote this during or before the week of AP tests. The thoughts were brought on by that one tik tok audio of a girl harmonizing with her fan, and people stories to that sound. This is my story I guess.