#bitter sweet because this is A BIG ADULT FIRST for me

[simgerale]

we just put a deposit down on a home to rent for a year

[thetriumphantpanda]

i've got my love to keep me warm | joel miller

Summary | Joel agrees to spend Christmas with your family, away from the warmth of Texas, and it takes him a little while to warm up to the idea.

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!reader

Word Count | 1.4K

Warnings | Grumpy x Sunshine vibes, some sweetness, some suggestive thoughts but nothing explicit, mentions of consuming food and alcohol.

Authors note | For @yeollie-plz- It's your @pedrostories secret santa!! I really hope you love this because it was good fun to put together! Happy Christmas to you!

“You know, you could at least pretend to be happy?” You tease, nudging your elbow into Joel’s side.

With the way he’s bundled up in his big coat, you’re not sure he actually feels you do it, but he grumbles all the same. Whatever he says in incoherent, but you can discern the meaning perfectly. What’s the point in being here as grown adults? What’s the point in wandering around, looking at lights and getting excited about Christmas, when, for the first time in years, there won’t be any children around?

“Come on,” You beam, taking his gloved hand in yours, “Maybe a drink with a little something in would make you happier?”

“What would make me happier would be sat indoors outta this snow.”

You roll your eyes, pulling on his hand to get him to follow you. He walks by your side, gloved hand sitting in yours as you weave through the crowds of people. Joel had wanted to stay in Texas for Christmas, something about the familiarity of it, not wanting to spend too much money on travelling at this time of year, but knowing it was his first Christmas without Sarah, now that she was all grown up with her own family, you knew that he’d be miserable, no matter that you’d be there with him, so you’d put your foot down, told him the two of you would spend Christmas with your parents up north, somewhere cooler, more festive.

He’d met them plenty of times before, they loved him, thought the sensible, stoic man was good for you. He had his head on his shoulders, a home of his own - settled, is what they’d called him. A far cry from the other boys you’d chosen in the past few years, and they were overjoyed to have a house full of people this year - your brother and his wife, you and Joel, a real family affair.

The centre of town always reminded you of being a child when you came back at this time of year. The streets filled with small stalls - some selling food, some filled with little trinkets from small businesses, all set around the main square, with its big tree, lit up and sparkling.

There’s one stall you zero in on, a small line that you stand in, still gripping at Joel’s hand as you step further towards the front each time someone walks away. You remember the first time you’d stood in this line - you were eight, and your dad had passed you a cup full of warm hot chocolate, a towering swirl of whipped cream on top. You’d sipped it so slowly, savouring the cream and the sweetness of the chocolate, and anytime you’re here, you have to get it, it’s just that these days, it’s always spiked with something.

Joel, of course, orders an Irish coffee - black, bitter coffee, split with cream and his favourite whiskey. You watch closely as he pulls one of his gloves off with his teeth, slipping it in his pocket so he can feel the warmth of it in his palm. He’s watching you just as closely as the lady hands you the cup of hot chocolate, mixed with Bailey’s, still with that tower of whipped cream too.

You both step away, standing off to the side as Joel takes the first sip of his drink. You can see the slight softening of his expression as he goes in for another sip, this one bigger than the first. He’s watching you as you dart your tongue out, taking some of the sweet cream into your mouth before you sip the drink, hissing when it burns your tongue a little.

“That’ll be hot, baby.” He teases, earning a little glare from you as he drinks his again, seemingly unaffected by the steam that rises from his own cup.

“It’s good,” You muse, holding it out to him, “Try it.”

“I don’t want none a’that,” He shakes his head, “Too sweet.”

“Joel Miller,” You chastise, pushing the cup closer to his face, “It’s Christmas, for the love of God, try the hot chocolate.”

He sighs, shakes his head in that way he always does when he knows he can’t win the battle. He hands you his drink, laughs a little when you wrinkle your nose at how strong it smells, takes yours from you and brings it to his mouth, taking a big sip, and when he pulls it away to hand back to you, you can’t stifle the giggle that falls from your mouth.

“What?” He asks, as your giggle falls into proper laughter, “What the hell’s the matter with you?” He snatches his own drink back sinking his neck down into his coat to keep the biting wind from his skin.

“Y-you’ve,” You choke out, pointing at your own nose, “You’ve g-got something here.”

You bring your hand up to his face, running the pad of your thumb over the tip of his nose, swiping the cream from his face. You go to pull it away, to wipe it away on the leg of your jeans, but Joel has other ideas, gripping your wrist to still you. He brings your hand to his mouth, enveloping your thumb into the heat of his mouth. You suck in a breath, feeling the tip of his tongue dart out against the skin, licking the cream off, before he drags your thumb from his mouth with a soft pop.

He drops your wrist from his hold, but you’re stuck, staring right at him, with the familiar throb of want settling across you.

“Thought it was too sweet for you?” You raise an eyebrow when you’ve composed yourself enough to speak.

He shrugs, takes hold of your hand and starts walking you back towards the tree, “If you’re gonna laugh at me, I ain’t gonna make it easy on you.” That familiar tone of grump is back, but you know he doesn’t mind really as he walks slowly, guiding you both to a bench that looks directly at the tree, dressed in red and gold, icy lights casting that familiar festive glow across everything.

He wipes the snow from the bench, makes sure it dry enough for you both to sit on, draping his arm across the back of it, encouraging you to curl into his side. The two of you sit for a while, watching the people come and go - young children excited to stand in line for the chance to meet Santa in his grotto, men on their own going from stall-to-stall, clearly shopping for last minute gifts, and couples, just like the two of you, wrapped up in nothing but each other as they hold hands, point things out to eat other.

“Thank you for coming,” You speak softly into his shoulder, looking up at him as he looks down at you, “I know it’s not really what you wanted, but I like that you’re here.”

“Of course it’s what I wanted,” He speaks just as softly, leaning down to press a featherlight kiss to the tip of your nose, “I only ever want to be where you are baby,” He motions his head to the scene in front of you, “Even if it is in the freezing cold, surrounded by too many people, wherever I’m with you, I’m happy, okay?”

You smile at him, tilt your head slightly, as his lips come down onto yours, cold and chapped from the winter air, but oh-so familiar as they slant across your own. You open your mouth against his, let your tongue meld with his own, the bitter of his coffee mixing with the sweet of your own drink. It’s soft, gentle, and over far too quickly. He pulls away, places two more soft pecks against your mouth, and then settles back against the bench, his hand now resting on your shoulder.

A shiver settles across your bones, something to do with the fact that even a few years into your relationship, he still sets you on fire without even trying, but mainly because it’s fucking freezing. Leant against Joel’s body, you feel him shiver a little too.

“Home?” You ask.

He looks back down at you, smiling a little with a nod, “Home.”

[syrena-del-mar]

The Nine Circles of Hell: Dead Friend Forever, Episode 7

First, a trigger warning: I'll be discussing themes of revenge porn, grooming, statutory rape, sexual coercion.

I'm going to discuss this episode with as much upmost care as I can, due to the sheer amount of sensitive material that came out of this week's episode I will also not being using any explicit scene screen captures from this episode. If there's anything you'd like to me to take out or want a more in depth conversation, feel free to use either of my message boxes.

Last week I said DFF had more to offer than just being a campy 90s slasher remake. While I first thought we were already in the depths of hell, thematically, with Non getting beaten by the mafia, I didn't expect this week's episode to somehow double that pain. But here we are. I was lulled into false security with the 5 minute montage of getting to know what Phee and Non's relationship was like. I should have remembered that I'm definitely watching the wrong genre when I expected more of those moments.

Non and Phee

This episode really continues and expands the idea that humans are not these clear-cut, unambiguous, good-or-bad beings that idea has now been depicted through Non and his relationship with Phee. Non has so much love to give and so much want for being loved, it's what leads to Phee in the first place, but it's also what leads to his downfall. Because Non loves so much and so hard, it's also why he wasn't ecstatic that Phee had to lie to his father and say that he was involved, just to get him out of trouble with the police. What started like a sweet date turns a bit bitter, because Non is seeing the consequences of his actions not only affect himself but also the others that he loves. It's also why he couldn't tell Phee about the sheer amount he owed Tee's uncle, because he was now well aware that if Phee found out, he would get himself involved.

Non lies and manipulates Phee, he tells him time and time again that nothing happened between him and Mr. Kreng. Non swears to Phee that he isn't lying to him and that he won't keep any secrets from him anymore. It pains him to do so, he's barely holding himself together by the end of a thread thread once he's Phee's arms and his face is hidden from Phee's view. Yet, he does. He keeps it a secret how big of a hole he has found himself in, because he doesn't want to drag Phee down with him. Non says it himself to Jin, he doesn't want to be burden, he'll figure it out himself. It's a direct parallel to the bigger issues that Non is finding himself in beyond just within the 'movie set'. He has the 300 million baht hanging over his head, his parents (in his point of view) regret having him and find that he does is bring embarrassment to the family, and now he has another adult willing to give him the 300 million baht with a fake sense of care. So he found, what he believes to be, a solution that would get rid of the 300 million baht debt and all it requires is giving up a piece of himself, but at least it won't come at a cost of burdening his parents or Phee.

In trying to protect Phee, his lies ends up costing him the one he loves the most, Phee. Now from this point on, this is all speculation, but when Phee accused Non of 'always doing this', I'm not in the camp that believes that Phee is accusing Non about being a serial cheater. I see why people are in that camp, but I initially jumped to that conclusion as well. Now, I'm more in the line that Phee is accusing of Non always feeding him lies, even after explicitly promising him that he wouldn't. After putting his neck out for him, after letting Non do things his way as long as he promised to tell him the truth, Non goes back to telling lies. Phee lashes out, and at the end of the day he's still a teenager, so he hits Non's weakest point. Just get lost and die. The very words that likely haunt Phee in the present-day, now as an adult. And Non's holds the broken bracelet, punishing himself, because he knew that there was no coming back from losing his lifeline.

Non and Mr. Kreng (Please keep my trigger warnings in mind, they will be heavily discussed in this section.)

Statutory Rape. Grooming. Coerced Sexual Relations. Nonconsensual Sex. Molestation. Sexual Assault. Sexual Abuse. Those are all words to describe the relationship that occurred between Non and Mr. Keng. Let's call exactly what it is. I think I'll lose my mind if I have to see someone another person call Non a cheater. There is no cheating when there is statutory rape.

Non is literally at the end of his rope, Mr. Keng clocked that immediately. He knew that Non was isolated, that he was completely othered by his classmates, he believes that Non has nobody else to turn to, and he knows that Non is in deep in a scam that target teens. In his eyes, he found the perfect victim.

Non is taken advantage of by a person in power, a person that he should be able to trust. Non isn't naïve, he clocked that Mr. Keng wanted something from him since the moment they first met. But he is vulnerable. He's being extorted by the mafia and he sees someone offering him the money that he needs to put an end to that. In his eyes, it was a way out, a means to an end that just cost him a piece of his soul. I truly think Non rationalized it to himself as prostituting himself, because he knew that money was never coming without a price. No matter how much Mr. Keng tried to sell it as 'brotherly' love.

But at the end of the day, it does not matter what Non believed or rationalized, because Mr. Keng was the adult in the situation. He had a duty, as a teacher, to protect Non and provide a safe classroom environment. Instead he target, manipulates, and coerces Non into having sexual relations with him. He knows the power imbalance he holds, first as a teacher and then with the 300 million baht he 'gave' him. Mr. Keng, knowing that Non's not close to his 'friends', physically isolates him. He takes him to his office that's half-lit, located in a long hallway with, seemingly, very little foot traffic. He prods at Non, asking what's been bothering him and has him visibly become emotional, before offering his care. He's a complete and utter predator, in every sense of the term.

I hope he dies a long, painful death.

Non and Jin

First and foremost, whether or not Jin was ultimately the one that posted the video does not matter. Filming a classmate being sexually assaulted is still child porn at the very least and, possibly, revenge porn (if he disseminated the video) at the worst. I was on the same boat as @respectthepetty and their take that Jin had to be the worst of them all. Like they said in that post, Jin is a coward and he even admits to it. There's nothing more cowardly than hiding behind a door, filming you supposed 'friend' getting sexually abused by your teacher, and then even considering putting up on social media for revenge because your heart is broken.

Yes, Top framed Non. Yes, Por demanded (and bullied) money from Non. Yes, Tee brought Non to the mafia. Those are all very bad things, don't get me wrong. All the physical and mental abuse they put Non through was hell. Yet, Jin was the only one aware that Non had already been seeing someone, which seemingly had upset him already. Then he sees him with Mr. Keng and instead of reporting that his alleged friend was being assaulted, he gets angry and films Non at his most vulnerable point in life. Even Fluke didn't want any part of that.

Jin takes away Non's dignity. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether he uploaded it online or not, he was still the one to film, transfer that file onto his computer, and contemplate whether he was going to post it or not. At every point since he found that Non and Mr. Kreng were in that room, he rendered Non powerless. That video would have never been uploaded if it hadn't existed in the first place. With just a point of a camera and click of a button, he is revictimizing Non every. single. time. that video is opened and seen by another person.

There are no words to fully describe or explain that kind of trauma that he has subjected Non to.

Final Thoughts

This episode was nauseating. It honestly took me about two hours just to get to the end. Usually, I can watch through a show I enjoy really quickly, but this episode was so hard to digest. And that's simply due to how realistic they are approaching the subject of Non and Mr. Keng.

Barcode and Ta really are the stars of the show. I'm not saying that the other castmates aren't amazing in their roles, but man TaBarcode really know are hitting every single emotional beat. I was never a TaBarcode nor a MacauChay girlie, but man Be On Cloud has truly brought out their best this time around. Even though I fully know we are heading towards an incredibly heart wrenching ending for PheeNon, I can't help but want to hoard and scramble for moments of them together.

It's crazy how well, everyone was able to pull their weight this episode. There were so many moments that with less talented, less experienced actors, could have fallen flat, but they didn't. Ta and Barcode's PheeNon was so incredibly heart-beating, butterfly inducing before we were brought back into their reality outside of their relationship. 2J and Barcode's scenes were.... so disgustingly real, for lack of better words. I knew that storyline was never going to end well but it had been more than I ever expected Be On Cloud to release. They're tackling such real issues that weigh on teens with incredible tact, there's no romanticizing what happened. Even Phee's reaction was so understandable when you put yourself in the shoes of a teenager. I'll reiterate again and again, whatever you think about Be On Cloud as a management company, as a production company, they really are breaking boundaries and doing something right. Whatever happens in the second half, I think I'll be here, recovering, for a long time.

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

Rebellion pt.1

Pairing- Sully family x Sully!reader

Summary- Your going through a rebellion amd how easy can it be for your siblings to keep all the stuff they see you doing a secret.

Na'vi Translations- au- drum, Reypaytun- red, tsmisnr- lantern, 'ite- daughter

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

A/N- did i make up two whole ass plants up for this fic yes yes I did and there will be a pt. 2 i just need to come up with ideas for it

Rules. Rules. Rules. That's all your father talked about. Who you can't hang out with. What you can't wear. Can't say. Can't do. Can't, Can't Can't. That's all he does, you're sick and tired of his rules.

First it started with the clothes. You had to wear shawls over your open armed tops, you threw all your shawls away. No short or high split loincloths. You started dressing how you wanted, regular revealing tops that everyone loved, and high slit loin skirts and loincloths.

.

.

.

.

"Y/N, Dad’s gonna skin you alive if he sees you in that." Kiri hissed as she saw you pull your low waisted loin skirt on. You turn to Kiri and put your hands on your hips. "You forget Kiri. I don't care what dad thinks because I am my own person." You say before pushing yourself out of your room and Kiri only shakes her head.

.

.

.

.

And then the parties. Every teen in the Omatikaya snuck out at night and snuck deeper in the woods to drink fermented nectar and smoke the Reypaytun flower, but not the Olo'eyktan's kids who had too many rules.

As you heard the light snoring of your mother and father, you got out of your cot and changed into your clothes. Opening a curtain window, you dip your feet over it and jump out following the other young Na'vi into the woods. You caught a few peoples eyes and a boy approaches you, Ao'zuk that's his name, an amazing healer. "I didn't know you came to these things." He said over the loud beat of the au. "I didn't." You say before taking his cup of nectar taking a big sip, it was bitter with a slight sweet aftertaste. "But I do now." You say and he smirks.

And that's how your nights went, did whatever duties your father humbly bestowed upon you during the day, and when Eclipse hit and all the adults were asleep you snuck out, drank, smoked, danced, and touched.

Little did you know your little brother, Neteyam, saw your nightly exhibitions and he wanted to know what you did. So he waited. Waited for you to change and sneak out, waited thirty minutes and followed the muffled sound of music.

And then he stepped into a swarm of dancing, making out, grinding, drinking, and smoking teens. And then he saw you sitting on someone's legs and they placed a small flower on your tongue. You swallowed as your already glazed eyes felt the flower kick in, pupils dilating in and out. Euphoria rushed through your veins as the man you sat on stuffed a bag into your bag and then you thanked him. You stayed there with a lazy smile as you blink up at the sky. Neteyam rushes home, what have you done to yourself?

He didn't know what to do. He crawled back into bed and closed his eyes. Only to shoot back open when he heard you creep back into the kelku. He heard you sit on the bed and open the bag and take another one. He cringes at the rustles of the bag, oh how he just wished this was a dream.

So he held hope that it was.

It wasn't.

He woke up and you held your bag to your chest protectively. He gulped thinking about what you had in there before shaking his head, getting ready for his duties for the day.

And as you stumbled up he never saw you without your bag by your side. Now it was time for the communal lunch, He sat by you and you looked over to him before taking a bite of the fruit in your hand. He wanted to know what is so cool about this stuff that you do all of it. “Y/N, can you take me to the party tonight, since mom and dad are on that hunting trip.." Neteyam whispered to you as Lo'ak sat between the two of you. "Oooo party, I'm so coming." He said and you were shocked. Swallowing the food in your mouth, "Um neither of you are going." You say and Lo'ak looked at you with disbelief. "If we can't come I'll tell mom and she'll tell dad—"

"Okay, okay! Just.. don't fall asleep. I don't feel like walking your heavy sleeping ass up." You reply to them before returning your attention to your food.

And so the two boys laid awake, until they heard the soft snoring of your sisters. They crouched out of bed after you changed. And just before they climbed out the window after you they heard an all too familiar voice. "Where are you guys going?" Kiri's voice rang through your ears and you regretted even letting them come along. And before you even knew it she was tagging along as well, holding her bag and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

You curse under your breath as you walk into the woods, younger siblings on your tail. Finally you made it, the sounds of loud pamtseo howling through the wind. Ao'zuk walked up to you and your siblings, reeking of fermented nectar as his arms wrapped around your waist. "Ao'zuk." You said warningly. "Come tìyawn I just got some fresh reypaytun from Za'kin." He said hands going a little lower than wanted.

Removing his hands, "Go wait for me." You say and he stumbles to the group who passed a pipe around.

"Reypaytun really?" Kiri asked and you rolled your eyes. "I thought dad told us to never to touch that stuff." Lo'ak asked. "I don't see dad here and besides, I'm gonna go have some fun," you say, starting to walk off before turning back to your siblings, "Don't take anything anyone gives you and only drink water." You instruct your younger siblings who looked bewildered that you were leaving them.

You sit next to Ao'zuk and he hands you the pipe but not before taking a huge hit. You settle closer to his side and take a hit before passing it again waiting for the effects to take place.

And they did, your blood ran fast, puplis bigger than ever as you danced, hips and arms swaying in the wind as you danced to the beat with the others. You feet and head hurt, you grabbed onto Ao'zuk and he gives you a lazy smile as he held your hips making you dance. Your head spun and your eyes were half-lidded and red as you shook your head no. "You’re having fun." Ao'zuk laughed and you felt like you wanted to cry but all you did was smile and say yes.

Neteyam saw you from the side and he felt his stomach churn the more he saw the distress in your eyes.

Finally you stumbled off the dance floor and caught your breath. The woods, the fire, the music it was getting to you, you held your head in your hands as the trees started to move and blend together. And then you felt a hand on your arm making you blink. It was Ao'zuk he held something in his hand before sliding it to you. "It'll take the edge off." He yelled as you put it in your mouth drinking the rest of the nectar in your cup.

Stumbling to your siblings, your eyes glazed over and bloodshot red, you point to the hometree and they went. "Did you have fun?" Lo'ak asked and you looked at him and gave him a lazy smile with tears in your eyes as you spoke. "Yeah."

None of your siblings spoke of what happened that night. But Neteyam couldn't get the despair that took over your face that night. He couldn't let you ruin yourself. No matter how much you were going to hate him for what he was about to do.

Neteyam waited for you to sneak out and he knew tonight would be the night your parents got back. He waited for them with a tsmisnr to keep a dim light. As he heard the rustles of the makeshift curtain that acted like a front door, he watched his parents walk in quietly. Jake jumps a bit seeing his oldest son sitting in a dimly lit room.

"Son." Jake whispered and Neteyam’s palms got sweaty, his stomach bubbling in anxiety.

"Um, I have something to tell you guys." Neteyam said and his mother looked confused as she sat down along with her husband.

"What is it?" Neytiri asked and Neteyam looked up. "Y/N, she's been sneaking out and drinking and using Reypaytun and she takes these small flowers and I can't just watch her do this to herself and.. and so I'm telling you guys." Neteyam stammers out and he watches as Neytiri's face falls as well as his father’s, from the new load of information they learned of their eldest daughter.

"Where is she now?" Jake asks gruffly and Neteyam sighed. "At a party." Neteyam answered and Jake sighed deeply. "I will go see if my mother will watch the children and Neteyam so we can talk to her whenever she gets back." Neytiri said and Neteyam shook his head. "No, I told you guys I should be here when she comes home." Neteyam replies before Jake nodded as Neytiri picked up Tuk and woke the others up.

They waited and waited. It was quite a long time till you got back, Jake began to get irritated and Neytiri worried. And then they heard shuffling in the other room.

You walk in and don't see your siblings, worried, you walk into the other room, and your eyes widen as you see your brother sitting with your parents and avoiding eye contact with you.

"Y/N, come sit down." Jake said roughly and you clutched your bag as you sat down. "Yes..?" You say as you sit at the table that you father made. "Where were you?" Jake hoped you'd tell the truth.

You straighten your back and look down at your trembling legs. "With my friends." You reply simply and Jake clicks his tongue. "We know the truth Y/N, your brother told us." You look at him and then at Neteyam. "Told you what?" You ask, face and palms getting hot. "We know you've been sneaking out, smoking, drinking and about those flowers you take." You had a deadpan expression on your face and then you realized Neteyam had told on you.

"I don't know what your talking about." You try and lie your way out. "Neteyam told us." Neytiri said and you send a deadly glare towards your younger brother. "And you believe him! Huh?!" You exclaim and Jake holds his hands up. "Well Y/N, why would he lie about this?”

You push yourself out of your chair and rub your face before huffing. "I don't know why he would do that. But I- I have no clue what you're talking about." You refused to give it up and Neteyam just wanted it to stop.

"Open your bag Y/N." Neteyam said and you eyed him from where you were. "No." You say and Jake looks at his son and then at you. "Come 'ite give me the bag." Neytiri reaches for the bag that was placed on your shoulder and you snatch it away from the woman, panic running through your body.

"I don't know why you’re all ganging up on me." You defend yourself.

"No one is ganging up on you sweetie. Just give me the bag." Jake said and you shook your head but before you knew it he had already grabbed your bag. You tried to snatch it back but it was too late as he and your mother now stood in front of you looking between you and the bag. Your chest heaved with every breath you took. You were so nervous, more nervous than you've ever been.

Jake opened the bag and he closed his eyes as he saw a bag full of small flowers, pollen, a substance that gets you so high you forget your own name.

''Really,'' He said taking the smaller bag in his hand and throwing it on the table. You close your eyes and whisper a quiet 'fuck'. Before covering your face and huffing into your hands and taking them off and quietly laughing. ''Fuck me.'' You say as a pitful excuse of a chuckle erupts from your throat.

''I thought we taught you better than this.'' Jake said and you looked at him and laughed. ''Yeah well looks like you didn't'.” You say and then your bloodshot eyes look at Neteyam who had a confused look on his face.

''Neteyam can you leave?'' You point to the door before an irritated breath leaves your lungs and his nonexistent eyebrows furrow. “Why? Y/N, I'm just trying to help you.'' He asked and you clench your jaw. ''Because honestly looking at you makes me physically. fucking. ill.'' You yell at him making him flinch, his ears laid still on the sides of his head.

''Y/N!'' Jake yelled at you and you look over rolling your eyes. ''Neteyam, son, go with your other siblings.'' Neytiri told her eldest son who nodded and left.

Your other siblings seemed to be eavesdropping and he shooed them off they all held a shocked face. You had never yelled at them before but here you are.

Turning back to your father, you sneer, why'd Neteyam have to tell? That's what you were thinking over and over again. "Y/N I've tolerated the clothes, but now sneaking out and- and now this." He said picking up the bag on the table. Rolling your eyes once more. "Just tell us what's gotten into you, babygirl-" he goes to touch your cheek but you step away from him.

"Nothing has gotten into me, I'm sorry I'm not daddy's little girl anymore, and don't listen to every stupid rule you make. You don't know shit about me,, neither of you do so stop pretending that you do." You say before walking out of the home leaving your parents confused, what happened to their little girl?

[thebunnybabyblog]

7th year (18yr old) Snape and his girlfirend smut please ❤️

In the soft grass (fluff/smut 18+)

Thank you so much for my first anon ask!! I was so happy to write this one! To me i totally think teen Severus is a shy guy. Fumbling hands but still there to hold yours when needed! I wanted to give him a first time that is filled with sunshine and laughter instead of keeping him in a dark dungeon like I would for adult Severus. He deserves a sweet first time and I hope that’s what I gave him! Anyway smut under the cut! Thank you again!!

Severus and reader are both 18!

Spring was in full swing and the halls that were usually buzzing with chatter and hurried feet rushing to classes now echoed as you made your way through them alone. This break was just like the many others before it, quiet. Holidays were never much to be celebrated since your arrival to Hogwarts those many years ago so you always opted to spend them here just to have some time for yourself. A time to feel as if you had free reign to explore and drift around without the chance of bumping into someone you knew. Though there was one person you never minded bumping into, Severus.

Most people around you had a weird and often false view of him so you were always met with bitterness when he would be brought up in conversation, but you knew it was all a lie. After the incident in fifth year with James Potter you couldn’t hide in the shadows anymore. Being a Hufflepuff made it difficult to be friendly with Slytherins because you felt as if you were worlds apart and honestly you were afraid that all the rumors would be true about him; but, seeing him in the air helpless and exposed something in you snapped. Ever since that day you never left his side.

At first he was not totally welcome to the idea of some random Hufflepuff following him around, part of you thought that he thought this was all some big joke and he'd end up as the punchline in the end. You knew that wasn’t the case and you tried your best to ease any worries and after fifth year ended and sixth started up you were still there waiting for him. He knew he at least had you to look out for in the crowded halls, someone to run to when the world got too dark. Now in your seventh year the love you had for him bubbled up and out your ears.

After fifth year Severus started staying back at Hogwarts over breaks, as his life at home wasn’t much easier back there either. You were honestly happy he started staying even if you knew the reason why wasn’t a pleasant thought. It would make tears peek their heads when it would fill your mind but it made it just that more important to make these breaks special.

Skipping along the halls you made your way to different spots you knew he could be hiding out at. Not that he was hiding from you but he was still a person who valued their alone time, and you respected that, but, you were getting bored. It made it a little fun game of hide and seek he didn’t know he was playing. You started with the usual places like the great hall and the library but you are met with empty rooms. After a while of normal search you started to look in the more hidden places around Hogwarts, your search still comes up empty.

“Ok sev where the hell did you run off too?” you say to yourself trying not to get annoyed but your legs were starting to get tired. You decide to make your way outside and have a look around the grounds and you finally see him laying out near the far side of the lake far from the castle's view . You didn’t notice at first but as you were running up to him you saw the book he had been reading sprawled open in the grass. You slowed yourself as you realized he had dozed off under the warm sun. A smile spread across your face as you looked down to his peaceful face. You slowly crept up beside him and sat down on the soft grass below.

The scowl that always seemed permanently plastered on his face was gone and he looked as if he was finally enjoying some sleep for once. He always complained about his lack of sleep and the nightmares that plagued his mind at night, so even though you were bored you wouldn’t dream of waking him up now. You weren’t bored now anyway as all you needed was to be in his presence. You laid back and looked up to the clouds as you listened to his breathing in your ear.

It was a perfect spring day, one of those days early into spring that's unusually warm and makes you crave summer just around the corner. You watched the clouds shift in and out of different images and watched birds play in the air. You had been laid there lost in thought for around 20 minutes when his breath became flustered beside you. Not wanting to startle him awake you slowly moved your head to look up to him only to be met with the most devious sight. Still fast asleep his chest heaved up and down, the scowl had returned to his face but it was different than normal. His pale cheeks were now flushed pink and his eyes were winced closed tightly. As your eyes moved down his body you couldn’t help but notice him straining tightly in his pants.

Embarrassed, your sight shot back up to the blue skies above you. You felt like your body had turned to stone as you were afraid any movement would wake him. You couldn’t lie seeing him like this was driving you crazy. There was no doubting you were absolutely in love with him but you had never managed to exactly tell him that. It wasn’t like it wasn’t blatantly obvious to everyone else, but Severus wasn’t exactly a master at people as he was about potions and spells.

Your heart beat fast as the thoughts of what he could be dreaming about that put him in such a... state. He was a guy who was hard to read so even after a few years of friendship you still didn’t know a whole bunch about him. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness when the thought of Lily being the reason behind it. You hated the way it made you jealous but it did, even though they haven’t spoken since fifth year it still was something you thought about more often than you'd like.

“Y/n...” Severus breathed out.

Your eyes moved without command, straining to look over without moving your body. You froze a moment to see if he was still asleep or he was waking up and had just noticed you. You were only met with more labored breathing and a soft moan that was hummed into the air. He was definitely still asleep and your heart was beating through you chest at the thought you were what he was dreaming about.

Something in you snapped when you heard your name slip through his lips once more. Like your body was possessed you shifted to your side so you could lay facing him as you propped your head up on your hand. Your elbow dug into the cool grass below as you gazed down to his sleeping face.

His sharp features looked as if they were carved out of ivory. Black hair sprawled out around his face like spilled ink. It was hard to believe that people looked at him and were able to think anything other than that he looked like a fallen angel from heaven. He was filled with so much mystery and it always intrigued you and right now your name rolling off his tongue intrigued you the most.

You watched his chest rise and fall as his breathing became more uneven. He stirred in his slumber and his body moved and now was facing you. Your face practically hovered over his and you couldn’t help but blush looking down at him. You would do anything to just lean down and kiss his soft lips that seemed to beg for the warmth of another.

Without thinking you began to lower your face to his and your lips grazed ever so gently across his. Just enough to feel him there but too shy to put your all into it. Even though you were as gentle as possible his brow furrowed and his eyes fluttered half open blinking a few times to regain his sight.

He looked up to your face not quite sure who he was looking at first as the sun was now directly behind your head but as he regained his conscious brain he was quick to see it was you who now towered over him. A blush spread across his cheeks as you smiled down to him.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” You chuckled down to him. “Oh y/n… how long have you been here?” He questioned as he shuffled to try and hide what was screaming for attention between his legs. “Oh a good while actually” you cooed down to him “you seemed like you were having such a great dream I didn’t want to disturb your restful slumber.” You could tell that Severus knew he was caught as you were not one to be able to hide when you knew something you probably shouldn’t.

“So what were ya dreaming about?” You questioned as innocently as you could. “Oh nothing.” He coughed out turning his head to look down at the grass he was now fiddling with between his fingers. “Hmm, it didn't seem like nothing but I guess if you don’t wanna tell me.” You replied, shocked with your boldness. He just seemed so shy and cute all of a sudden not quite knowing how to react to the situation.

You didn’t want to push him if he was uncomfortable so you sat up and supported yourself with both arms as you leaned and looked out to the lake. Severus was shy and normally you would like to poke him for it but you had never seen him aroused before and were afraid of how he’d react if you made a bold assumption.

“It’s so beautiful out here today,” you said to relieve the tension “spring is just filled with so much life. I feel so connected to the world around me. Like even the ground under me is alive and I’m alive with it.” Your fingers rubbed into the grass below as you took a deep breath in and looked up to the sky above.

Unbeknownst to you all Severus could even notice was you. He watched in awe as you glowed in a warm halo of sunshine, hair flowing freely in the light breeze. He always thought to himself how when you entered a room you filled it with the warmth of the summer sun but he was the chill of a winter's night. He imagined how if he touched you he would melt away instantly.

He looked down at your bare arm and his eyes traveled down and rested on your hand petting the grass close to his hand. His fingers inched closer at a snail's pace desperately aching for any form of physical touch. Just when he didn’t think you’d ever make contact, your fingers caressed the top of his longest fingers.

You both jumped a bit from the sudden contact, you turned your head to look down at him and saw his big black eyes looking up at you with so much neediness behind them. His cheeks blushed pink as he slightly invaded his fingers more into yours. Your fingers moved aside to allow his to mingle with yours and soon you were both intertwined.

Now that you were connected you felt more comfortable to ask the question that was already answered again. “Sev, what were you dreaming about?” You spoke just above a whisper. He looked away in embarrassment and muttered out, “well… you of course.”

“Of course” you screamed in your head. Like it was blatantly obvious and clear, as if he had hinted it many times before. You knew he liked you more than him just tolerating you but you never dreamed he would see you more than just a friend. “Of course?” Is all you could respond.

He just sighed and looked back up to you, a lock of hair falling into his line of view. Without thinking your free hand reached over and gently began to tuck it behind his ear, he pushed his cheek into your touch and fluttered his eyes closed. He savored in your soft touch and warmth. You couldn’t help but leave your hand atop his cheek and look down at this touch starved boy below you.

You’ve waited for a sign for so long that he was ready for you. Ready for you to give him all of your love, a way to sneak to a spot in his heart. You brushed his sharp cheekbone with your thumb slowly and lowered your face to his. You could feel each other's breaths on your skin as you breathed each other in. The smell of deep forests and herbs filled your nose and spring meadows and citrus filled his.

You don’t quite know if it was you that filled the gap between your lips or if it was him but before you knew it your lips were pressed down on his. The kiss was full of shy innocence but also overwhelming need and desire. His face was still cradled in your touch and your fingertips skimmed through his hair lightly as you deepened your kiss.

Without breaking contact you leaned yourself down to where you were now laying flat in the grass and he was positioned above you slightly. He broke the kiss to look at you sprawled out under him. Your cheeks flushed pink and lips plump and wet. You looked up with half open eyes and said,

“You know, I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for ages now.” You chuckled at the shocked expression he wore. His hair had fallen back in his face so again you reached up and pushed it behind his left ear. “I love your hair but I love it more when I can get a clear view of your face. You are so handsome, Severus.” You whispered up to him with a smile.

He moaned into your touch as he heard your words escape your mouth. Without words he moved his way back down to your lips and melted into you. You could tell he was nervous but he was so needy. It felt as if he was trying to remember every single second that passed by, remember just exactly how your lips felt against his. Your right hand wandered through his hair as your left found itself gripping his arm that was holding him up slightly.

Your shyness had officially left the building by this point, you had waited so long for this and you were already past the point of no return so you crept your knee between his legs and pressed into him. He took a sharp breath in as you made contact with the ache behind his trousers. You smiled into his lips as he pushed himself forward into you more.

Slowly you rocked under him allowing a bit of friction to his member. A moan passed his lips and it shocked him. His eyes bolted open only to be met with yours looking back at him with hearts in your eyes. You pulled away from him and said “Sevvie, will you be my boyfriend?” Your question would have even shocked you if you weren’t so drunk with love.

He looked down at you in shock and awe. His face became even more flushed than it already was before. He gulped and you watched his prominent Adam’s apple move along his throat. For a moment you were afraid that his answer was no as he just stayed there looking down at you. You began to get flushed by the silence and blushed hard.

You opened your mouth to backtrack and tell him to forget you said anything but his forehead pressed against yours, “Of course you silly girl, I’ve wanted you ever since you came rushing up to me in fifth year.” You giggled at his response as you savored the warmth that filled your heart. His hair brushed against your face and it tickled as it slipped down your cheeks.

You looked lovingly into each other's eyes, the fresh spring breeze causing his hair to flutter in the wind. You looked up to him in awe, someone with such a damaged past but still filled with so much light and softness. Even if you were the only one who could see it, it didn’t matter, you knew it was there and was real, it didn't matter if others couldn’t seem to see it.

Slowly he brought his head down to yours and your lips met once more. You made out in the grass as the world seemed to stop around you both. Full of love and passion you both explored each other's bodies as your lips furiously fought with one another. Your knee still pressed into him; he slightly rocked himself against you.

You could tell he was nervous as he was touching you because everytime he seemed he was going to touch your chest his hand retreated in hesitation. After the fourth time of feeling his fingertips brush against the wire of your bra, you grabbed his hand and steadied him before he could make his retreat.

“It’s ok Severus, I want you to touch me.” You said as you broke away from your kiss. Eyes wide he looked down at your form, your flushed face, eyes full of drunken love, messy hair sprawled out around you like your aura was spilling out of you.

He couldn’t believe this Hufflepuff, that is so full of love and light, could look like this because of him. He couldn’t help but feel like this was a dream he was inevitably going to wake up from. You could tell he was becoming flustered and didn’t know how to process what was happening, so you took the lead.

You let go of his hand and smiled up at him as you slowly began to unbutton your blouse. He watched you as you slowly slipped the buttons from each hole until your top had fully fallen open on both sides, exposing the simple bra underneath. You had never done this before but you knew that you were ready and wanted it more than anything.

His hand trembled in yours as you grasped it again and gently placed it upon your breast. His eyes shot back up to your face and looked as if he needed confirmation once more. You met his worried eyes with a tender expression, “Severus, I promise it’s ok. I want you more than anything.” Your tender words filled his ears and he looked as if he were about to cry.

His lips came crashing back down to yours as his large hand began to knead into you. You couldn’t help but to moan into his mouth as he unknowingly tweaked your nipple between the fabric. His lips moved down to your neck and kissed a path from your ear to collarbone. Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, hands resting on his sharp shoulder blades.

You giggled out as his hair tickled against your bare skin. You could feel him smile against you. Oh how you wished he’d smiled more. He lit up more than just a room when he did, he lit up your heart more than anything. You giggled more to keep him smiling against you in his kisses and started to rolled around playfully in the grass.

Eventually in your roll in the grass you ended up on top of him. You were both laughing that you both momentarily forgot about your shirt open in front of him. Preached atop his lap you glowed like a goddess in the sunlight that was now on its course to start setting. The once blue skies now started to shift into soft oranges and pinks as the clouds shifted like cream in a sherbet sky.

You looked down to him with his raven hair a mess with a few blades of bright green grass planted in it from your tumble around. His face flushed with laughter and love he looked up to you with his nighttime eyes. His large crooked nose and plump just kissed lips begged to be kissed again. You just loved looking at him, he was like looking into space itself. So mysterious but breathtaking all at the same time.

It was in this moment you would give all of yourself to him, right here and right now. You had always held out hope he would be your first and right here alone by the lake under dreamsicle sky’s was the perfect time to do it. Without breaking eye contact you slowly slide your shirt down your shoulders and onto the ground below.

He watched in awe desperately trying to remain eye contact as your hands slid behind your back and unclasped your bra. The bra soon found its friend on the ground next to you both. There you were half exposed to your best friend both unable to move. His eyes scanned your body trying to memorize every single curve and detail.

Slowly his hands reached back to you and the tips of his finger grazed your skin. It sent shivers down your spine the way his cool skin touched your heated chest. You found yourself moving against his groin as his hands pressed in deeper. Soon his fingers found your nipples and he hesitantly took them into his grasp. Softly bringing them both between his fingers and rolling.

You moaned above him and your hands found a place on his chest. You quickly found his buttons and began to work your way down his chest. He chuckled at your shaky hands as they maneuvered down him. “You seem more excited than me all of a sudden.” He laughed up to you.

Seeing he was able to regain some of his sarcasm, you replied back “hmm I don’t think that’s possible.” And rolled your hips against his clothed member sharply and he let out a breathy moan as his head faced up to the sky. A devilish smile met your lips and you began to trace the marks on his ivory chest. Every ridge and scar was touched with love as you moved across his chest.

You were filled with so much lust looking at him react to your touch. Every furrow of his brow or twitch of his cock between your legs. You slid back enough to expose the waist of his pants. Fingers grazed his belt and found the metal buckle and undid it from his waist. Slowly bringing your fingertip to the button you suddenly found your steady hands shaking.

Severus noticed your sudden hesitations and placed his hands atop yours and just like you had done for him before said “y/n, it’s ok I want you to touch me.” You looked back up to him to see a soft smile gracing his usually stone face and you felt at ease. You undid his pants and slide both them and his underwear down releasing him from his prison.

He slapped hard against his stomach. You could tell his dream and your romp in the grass had really done a number on him already. His tip was blushed more than his cheeks and it leaked precum. He moaned under his breath as it hit his stomach. Now propped up on his elbows he looked at you as you sat there looking down at him.

You had never seen one like this up close. You had seen them before but only from stupid boys at parties drunk whipping them out at their friends, but never hard begging for attention, your attention. You couldn’t hide your wide eyes and blushed face looking down at him. His hand found your cheek and brought you back to his lips.

His kiss was tender and sweet, losing yourself in the moment your hand found itself gripping the base. He sucked in sharp, afraid you hurt him you pulled away from his lips. “Sev i… I’m sorry, did I do it wrong?!” You asked, before your hand could release him his hand held it in place. “Gods no, please y/n don’t stop please.”

His almost begging tone sent you into overdrive and your hand started moving on its own. You watched his head fall back and his face tighten as your hand moved up and down his length, spreading precum with each pump. His moans were deep in his throat. You had only pumped around 20 times when his hand made its way back to yours.

“I… if you don’t stop now I’ll cum. I want to touch you first before that.” He said shyly. You blushed at his words and stopped your hand. He leaned you back down in the grass and kissed your lips. “Is it ok if I take off your umm panties?” He asked not making eye contact this time. You shook your head nervously but full of excitement.

His fingers walked their way under your skirt and curled around the waist of your panties. He slowly slipped them down your legs and onto the pile of discarded clothes. Your skirt was pushed up around your stomach and he looked down to your fully exposed body. You swore you heard a whimper escape his lips as he soaked you in.

He looked back up to you with wanting eyes and you nodded back at him as permission. His finger found your wet folds and glided between them. You shivered once again to his touch and let out a small whine. This left hand met yours and you interlocked fingers as his right found your clit and made circles into you.

Your moans now had a mind of their own and freely slipped from you. Your sounds were driving him wild as his cock began to twitch on its own. His middle finger stopped its circles and found your entrance. Slowly dipping it past the gate he entered you. Your hips bucked into his hand as he began to move it in and out.

Soon you were a moaning mess under him as he started to pick up pace. Your enthusiastic moans gave him a sudden confidence boost as he began to stop second guessing every action he made. He brought another finger to your entrance and slowly slipped it in with the other. Your eyes winced together at the sudden change but were quickly reverted back to the flushed state you were in before.

“S…Severus, y..your fingers feel so g…good.” You choked out. He moaned to your words of encouragement. His hand became wet from your juices eagerly flowing out of you and into his palm. “P…please put it in me. I…I’m ready I need it.” You begged up to him.

His fingers halted and he looked back up to your face in amazement. “Are you sure y/n? I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” He said half expecting you to tell him “actually you’re right I’d rather die!” But you needed him more than anything else, you were so full of love for him that it was boiling over like an unattended potion. “Please.” Was all you were able to say.

He moved to now be directly in front of you and started to line himself up to you. “Before I umm do it y/n, I just want to tell you that I’ve never done this before so please tell me if I uh do anything wrong.” He said looking down ashamed. “Sevvie” you spoke softly “I haven’t done it either but there is no one on this earth I’d want to do it with more than you. You just wanting to be with me is enough.”

Leaning down to your lips he kissed you deeply in response. While not breaking the kiss he pushed into you slowly. Your tight pussy screamed as it stretched around his thick length despite to adjust to him. He held you tightly trying to comfort you through the pain but also trying not to cum right then and there.

He was all the way in and stopped to give you both a moment to compose yourself. “Gods y/n you’re so tight.” He gritted through his teeth. A whimper escaped you as his words met your ear. Arms holding him tight, you rolled your hips telling him he could move once again. Without hesitation his hips began to work and started to slide in and out of you.

You moaned into his shoulder as he picked up his pace above you. With each thrust he grunted low in his throat. Your pussy clenched hard around him and invited him in as deep as he could go. His fingers made their way back down to your clit and started rubbing circles into you. The faster his cock moved inside you the faster and sloppier his fingers became.

You could tell he was trying to keep it all together but as you looked up to him his once pale face looked as if he had just run 20 miles non stop. He couldn’t hold back his moans and they melted into yours. The once quiet lake was now filled with young love. “Sev please don’t stop.” You begged as you could now feel the heat rising up in your stomach.

This was nothing you had ever felt before. Of course you had done it alone in your bed at night most likely thinking of Severus above you just like this but this was something you never expected. You were fuller than your fingers had ever made you feel before and his big fingers against your clit working circles into you was about to tip you over the edge.

“C…lose sev!” You yelled out has his hips slapped hard against you. His lips found your neck and he sucked into your sensitive skin. You let out a scream as you came undone under him. Your hips push hard into his as you met his thrusts. The way you pulsed around him sent him over the edge and he bit into your neck as he filled you with his warmth.

Slowly his hips came to a halt as he rode out his orgasms inside you. You both lay there taking in the bliss of the moment. You looked up to the sky as your hands worked their way into his hair. Slowly petting and twisting his strands around your finger.

You couldn't believe that it had finally happened, better than you could have ever even hoped for. Tears couldn’t help but leave your eyes, when he pulled away from your embrace he noticed those tears. “Oh gods did I go too hard?! Are you ok? I’m so sorry! I… I didn’t mean too!” He sputtered out fast.

Laughter escaped your lips as you watched the frantic Severus above you. “You’re so stupid sometimes” you said to him “I’m not crying because I'm sad I’m crying because I’ve never been this happy!” You hand caressed his cheek, he smiled into your touch. “You silly girl, you scared me for a second.” He laughed in embarrassment.

He slipped out of you slowly and watched as his mess slid out of you. He couldn’t help his cock from twinging at the sight. You just looked so beautiful there all flushed for him and him alone. You both found your clothes and laid looking out to the sunset now casting colors across the lake.

“Do you wanna share a cigarette?” He asked you. You giggled at his plain words as if he wasn’t just deep in your guts only a moment ago. “Yeah I’d love to.” He reached into his pocket and pulled a pack out. Anytime Severus was outside his cigarettes were never far behind. He lit it with his wand and took a drag.

Smoke filled the air above you as he passed it over and into your hand. You brought it to your lips and let it fill your lungs, as you exhaled you asked “so how did that compare to the dream?” He chuckled at your question and said “well it’s nothing compared to that so I’d give it a solid 9/10 since it was still with you.” You both stayed there a while as you watched the world change around you filled with love and belonging.

[t00nyah]

so...here's my part for scugshroom colony because i think it's a very fun designing challenge

@mushroominaforest i hope you won't bite me for this

THOSE are my small notes i made to simplify information i saw as important. fungi i chose are lion's mane(Hericium erinaceus) and blood tooth(Hydnellum peckii), they looked cool and i went okay. okay.

this is the Empath, or Pompom. (she/he/they/it) she's VERY big and VERY fluffy. she has a very sweet and caring personality, while holding strange fascination with cycle of death and rebirth and, weirdly enough, interest in the Rot, despite being as terrified of it as others. as his name suggests he's very empathetic and is usually first to help, he's that one responsible adult who helps kids who are afraid of doctors face their fears (haha not that im that kid...). (and yes i am implying that he frequently helps slugcats figure out when they need help and how to get it. trust me that sentence makes sense. actually, read this as 'he's basically like calypso from bluey', that's the vibe.)

she's also secretly a gourmenot child but no-one's supposed to know that /hj

this...is...strawberry and cream duo...(get it...bc strawberries and cream...)

slugcat is the Colorist, or Cream. (she/they/it) they are not yet past their puphood, so they're small (but they won't grow much because ummm i decided so). their natural appearance tends to scare some off, especially their small blood-looking spot on their lower jaw, which gives them a vampire look. she's very bitter and can come off as snappy, but it's mostly because she's been rather lonely most of her life! she found a companion in Strawberry, or the Courageous One. (he/it) Colorist is the one who patched up his wound from another lizard, and the one who made his cape as a sign of friendship. they formed a rather symbiotic relationship in which they, both seen as weaklings or outcasts in their homeland, help each other be stronger.

they're basically double trouble lol

the Colorist has incredible interest in fabric and likes making useful and fashionable items like bags or simple scarfs. they usually tend to isolate themself from others but it doesn't mean they don't see themself as a part of a collective, they're just used to not being well-liked. i can see Strawberry trying to make her interact with others more while she's just being all grumpy but still goes along with it haha.

this was a lot of fun i love thinking about how to convert facts into character traits soooooo yeah that was very fun :)

[bothoutsiders]

if you’re still taking requests, maybe identity porn? or just mutual pining fluff!

hey anon! this is my first time trying identity porn, that's why it took me so long. also jason's undercover name is john as in john doe. it was fun trying this new trope, thank you for the experience!

--

From all the odd jobs and undercover cases that Jason had gone through - nothing compared to this one.

It was probably one of the easiest and clean jobs he had ever had though. While the pay wasn’t that good, he could enjoy some peace, the AC and at the same time, study his target. His tasks were simple; he was in charge of the music, cleaning his work area and making fun, colorful beverages that were so popular nowadays. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but he honestly kind of enjoyed making lattes, smoothies and sweet-fruit drinks. Not as much as getting rid of the garbage of Gotham, of course, but for a day-job, he thought it was a pretty nice change of pace.

The clients were all types of different people. Guys in a suit coming for their boring americano, teens coming for lattes and smoothies, young adults for tea, milkshakes and more. It was interesting.

Jason even had fun the day he convinced an old stoic man to try something sweet. Men have to like bitter things, the client had said. Jason snorted, did some convincing and made up ‘scientific’ and social explanations about it before handing him a strawberry latte.

He couldn’t help but grin the moment he saw the client’s face change from deadpan to surprise and then some embarrassment for actually liking it.

It was good that he didn’t get bored when his target wasn’t around. The people were friendly and he was enjoying his time, but still, this job in particular was hard for one specific reason.

“It’s getting late.” He neatly folded a cloth and wiped the surface of the counter.

There was no response. Of course.

“If you don’t pack your things I’ll kick you out without them.”

There was still no response. Besides the music in the background, he could hear some fast typing. This was how his evenings went most of the time.

In past jobs he had dealt with drunkards, with abusive bosses, awful customers, annoying and nosy coworkers, but this? This was something he never expected to happen to him.

“Okay, that’s enough Timothy.” He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he made his way to Tim’s table. He knew he was good at pretending nothing extraordinary was happening, but deep inside he was panicking only because he was talking to him.

Even if Tim was ignoring him right now.

“I’m gonna close soon so I need you to leave. Go home and have some real sleep.” He said resting his elbow on the table. He wasn’t into touching without consent so even if he wanted to be annoying to Tim, he didn’t dare to do such a thing. “Are you listening, monkey?”

Tim looked up at him a bit surprised but as soon as the words sunk in, he looked at his watch. “It’s already closing time?” He began to whine but almost immediately he changed his mood. “Before you kick me out– look!” With a big smile on his face, he was quick to take his phone, unlock it and shove it into Jason’s face.

“How many times have I told you to stop doing that?” He pushed the phone away and tried to focus his eyes on the screen. He already knew what he was about to see. “What’s that ugly thing?”

“John. You really have bad taste,” he frowned slightly before he’d swipe right and smile again. “There are more photos! I took them last night.” It was clear that Tim was proud of it.

“Are you … friends with that guy?” Jason didn’t look him in the eye, pretending that the idea of Tim and Red Hood being friends made him nervous. This kid had so many photos of him on his laptop and phone, it was crazy. And honestly? Jason was flattered. “He’s a menace.”

“He’s not!” Tim was quick to defend him. “I know that he carries guns and he kills people but he kills the bad ones! That terrible people won’t be coming back to keep hurting others. Most of you are fans of Batman even if the cops hate him, right? Well, Red Hood is my Batman.”

There was a small smirk on Jason’s face. He bothered Tim about this only because he liked to hear all the nice things he had to say about Red Hood. It wasn’t often that he would find someone who thought in such a positive way about him. “You’re a crazy little guy.”

“Nah, I’m just telling the truth. He’s funny too.” Since the very first time that they met, Tim didn’t hide his ‘admiration’ for Red Hood. He’d spend his evenings at the café talking about how great he was, how Red Hood had saved him once and how they would talk some nights and even let Tim take his photos. 

“So you hang out at 3am with a criminal only because he’s fun?” He huffed. “Tim, you gotta meet new people. People your age and you’ll see there’s more funny, safe people out there that you can meet during the day. I’m sure this is why you spend your evenings here, consuming all that caffeine.”

For Jason it was love at first sight, but Tim? Tim was too blind with how great Red Hood was that there were days Jason would even get jealous of himself. He blamed it on his night job and how tired he could be after patrolling the city and then coming to the café without much rest.

“There’s no one at home, I would rather spend it here where I can eat and drink and then get ready for the night.” He replied as he took his time to put everything in his backpack.

“You’re not a vigilante like him, Tim. Be careful, okay?”

“Yeah, I always make sure not to get in his way.”

“So how is your little fan club going?” The day was slow and there weren't many people at the café, except for Tim who was close to the counter, and a girl in a corner, buried in books and looking like she might explode if someone dated to interrupt her.

Jason decided to change the music to something relaxing for studying.

“It’s okay. I don’t share all my photos though.” Tim wasn’t looking at him, he was still busy with his laptop. By now Jason knew that if it wasn’t him doing homework or talking to his friends, he was busy with his Red Hood fan club.

“You don’t?” He was confused. He thought that was the purpose of those photos, to share them and make it obvious who was Red Hood’s favorite.

“Mm no.” Tim looked at him and after a big pause, he decided to confess. “I don’t like sharing. I even have a couple of selfies with him, but I don’t post those. They are only for myself.”

“But you showed them to me.”

“Yes, but I didn’t send them to you, it’s different.” There was a light shrug before he’d focus back on his laptop.

“Do you print them as posters for your bedroom?”

Tim didn’t reply, only looked up at Jason.

“You do, don’t you?” He grinned. “I can’t believe you’re obsessed with that stinky guy. You’re into bad boys, huh?”

There was a cute blush that spread through Tim’s face instantly. “He’s not a bad guy.”

“Yeah, I mean I guess being a criminal and killing people is something good people do.” Jason shrugged, a smirk still on his face. “What is so cool about him? Does he even do the laundry?”

“Everything is cool about him,” Tim frowned slightly but after a moment of wondering what to do, he sighed and closed his laptop, focusing entirely on Jason. 

Oh, he was getting serious.

“Look, he’s amazing. He’s someone you can talk to and has good advice, he is kind and worries about everyone. Yes, killing is bad but he’s a good person. He does this to stop innocent people from getting hurt or murdered.” He spoke as if he was pleading for Red Hood’s life. “He has a nice voice even if it’s kind of muffled under his helmet, and he makes sure I get home safe. He has this kind of humor that I actually find funny and he has big hands and his thighs are…”

“Oh wait, wait. Hold on.” Jason lifted his hands. “I don’t want to hear about your fantasies. I get it, you like him that way but are you sure he isn’t like someone who is trying to fool you? Pretend he is cool and then he shows his true colors?”

“I’m sure he isn’t pretending. He’s not a nice guy. He’s kind and a real man.” Tim said this looking him in the eye.

Maybe Jason felt something like butterflies in his stomach and something warm blossoming in his chest. 

Maybe. But who knows.

“What about guys who help elderly people with chores or do their groceries shopping? What about those who help kids find their parents when they are lost and cook meals at shelters?” It wasn’t that Jason wanted Tim to stop liking Red Hood, he only wanted to have a chance too. Maybe mentioning some of the things he had done and still does would help his case.

“Good for them?” Tim arched an eyebrow.

Jason was about to complain but the bell over the door chimed, announcing a new customer arriving. When he turned to look, he saw it was his target coming in and oh, right, I’m working-working. 

He looked at Tim one more time and sighed dramatically. “Okaay, okaay. I’m glad you found the one. Just make sure to get home safe after you see him.” It was a bit silly that he would like to bother him about it and then get jealous when he would hear all that admiration Tim felt for Red Hood, but it was somehow addicting.

“Sure.” He hummed happily, a light blush still on his face as he opened his laptop to start typing again.

Jason smiled, hoping that one day Tim would like him too, and not only one version of himself. Maybe one day.

[strangunddurm]

Disillusioned

Warnings: food, eating, alcohol consumption, you have breasts, age gap (unspecified how big though but reader is an adult ofc and has a job), cheating, small angst, unhappy relationship, reader is racially ambiguous.

I've been trying really, really hard to get out of my writer's rut but it's been a challenge. This little re-write has helped me a lot creatively :)

Word count: 6.8k

Summary: Aaron Hotchner cannot stop thinking about you, no matter how wrong it may be.

“I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.” ― Edna St. Vincent Millay

You were the beginning of his end. Oh, so lovely and so sweet that keeping away from you was next to impossible. Infidelity came as a biproduct. He didn’t mean to cheat; does anybody set out with the intention of cheating? Falling for you and all that you were was as easy as breathing, entirely natural. It was inevitable. 

The entire situation wasn’t improved by the fact that you were his wife's niece. Haley didn’t deserve this. It was unfair, Aaron knew that it was, but he couldn’t stop himself. You put him in a trance he did not even attempt to break. It had to be acknowledged that the marriage he had with Haley hadn’t been a marriage in quite some time. They had stayed together because they had always been together, not because they still loved or lusted after one another. They had drifted apart long before you. You were not to blame; you were not the reason for their end. Divorce had been looming at the horizon, but they hadn’t quite reached that stage yet when you came into his life.

He tried not to think about that part… Wife. Niece. But it was hard to ignore… You were after all only ever around if was to visit her, “your favourite aunt in the whole, wide world”. Did it make it better that you weren’t related by blood? …That the title of niece and aunt had been voluntarily applied to each upon birth due to the closeness between Haley and your mother. He hoped it did. He told himself over and over again that it did.

The first time he had met you was imprinted on his mind. He would never forget that day — could never — it was one of the best days of his life. You had stepped out onto the train’s platform like a saving grace, absolutely glowing with delight as you tossed your arms around Haley’s neck. You didn’t like flying, preferring the sights offered by a ticking train as it bustled its way along the train tracks. Aaron had never been able to come with whenever Haley went up north to visit you. He had always been too busy with a case or something else that was urgent and “couldn’t wait”. He would forever immensely regret never coming along earlier.

You were never mad, never angry, or upset. You were so easy to have a conversation with; everything interested you and you were curious about all the world had to offer. Nothing was ever boring with you. You were so different from her. You possessed that uncanny ability to find bliss in even the most bitter moments. Of course, it was easy to think that when he only ever met you briefly as Haley helped you get settled into the city. Washington D.C. was your new home and Aaron was certain that he was being blessed by somebody that must've been watching over. How else could it be that you were presented to him like this? A golden opportunity and it was hard to keep his hands to himself. Quick hugs grew to be more and more lingering, hands travelling lower, becoming more inappropriate as you spent more time at their house; babysitting his son, helping his wife.

He didn’t think you would reciprocate any sort of feelings. But then he started to notice the way you would look up at him and press up just a little closer to him whenever you could. At first, he tried to be rational, reasoning that it was just him that was hyper-aware of everything that you did, and therefore overanalysing every single situation. 

But then you brushed up against his front in that absolutely sinful little dress you had been wearing in the Virginia summer heat, and he was sure that you were just as interested in him as he were you, if not even more.

It had been at that quaint little bar on the corner that he tended to frequent together with a few of Haley’s friends whenever there was a small reason for a celebration. Everyone had been so drunk on the energy that was vibrating through the room that it was impossible for them to notice anything that wasn’t themselves.

He had been so nervous when Haley had said that she had invited you. He didn’t want to spend time with you because the feelings that bubbled within him felt like he was betraying his marriage. But then again, he hadn’t asked Haley to invite you, so it wasn’t devious on his part in any way. He knew that it would be different seeing you there compared to in his own home. It would remove that last remaining obstacle that had kept him in control for the past few months,

Aaron was several glasses in, standing at the bar, getting ready to order the next round. You had come with him, eagerly scooting out of the booth after him as you offered to help him carry everyone’s orders back. You were so kind and he couldn’t refuse your help; he didn't want to give you any reason to think that he was pushing you away, but he was so scared of you to come closer.

It was crowded, yes, but it hadn’t been necessary for you to stand so close to him. And it definitely wasn’t necessary for you to press into him the way that you did as you stood in front of him, leaning over the bar as you talked to the bartender. He thought it was an accident at first, causing him to shuffle awkwardly a few paces to the left. But then you sneakily came shuffling after him pressing into him again and he knew it was intentional that time.

Could you feel what you were doing to him? You had to feel the bulge that was beginning to grow in his pants. Your dress was made of such thin material that it was almost see through, and his dress pants – the same ones he had worn to work and hadn’t had time to change out of- did nothing to hide the feeling of his semi hard cock.

Aaron stayed frozen in the same place, not daring to move a muscle for fear that he would scare you away. His mind didn’t even think about the possibility of anyone seeing the two of you, all he could focus on was the feeling of you and the feelings you caused to rush through him. The small taste he had gotten of the feel of you had already made him addicted.

His breath shuddered slightly before he pressed forward ever so lightly, testing your limits. It was such a small movement that it could easily be explained away as him bumping into you if it was needed; it was a bar that they were in, after all, it was custom that people bumped into one another. 

The feeling that fluttered through him when you didn’t shy away was indescribable. Especially when you, after a few moments, pressed back firmly into him, rubbing against him. There was no denying it then, the intentions behind your actions.

Aaron's breath stuttered as he shakily exhaled. His cock was almost fully hard at this point, over-sensitive to even the lightest whisper of a touch. He yearned for you.

His own needs took over, rutting into you as discreetly as he could, craving the friction. The music was loud but the rumble of voices that penetrated the air was even louder. It drowned out the low grunts of pleasure that Aaron couldn’t help but release under his breath. 

Only one of his hands was placed on the bar in front of the two of you, needing some sort of support for fear that his knees would buckle at any moment. The other was just hanging by his side, unsure what to do next. He wanted to touch you; wanted to feel your skin under his finger tips; wanted to drag up the hem of that dress so that he could just slip into your slickness and take you right then and there. But he didn’t — he couldn’t. Not yet. Not there.

Thankfully, the bartender had served the drinks before he could do anything else. The clink of the glasses as they were placed down in front of you pulled Aaron out of his less than clean thoughts so quickly that he took a step back without thinking about it, bumping into a passing patron. He apologised with raised hands before fumbling as he tried to grab as many glasses as he could. He, Aaron Hotchner, was flustered beyond belief. It was so unlike him but not in a bad way. He enjoyed it.

He didn’t dare meet your eyes, but it was impossible to miss the way you smiled up at him in that mirthful way.

Aaron hadn’t seen you for a while after that. It was probably for the best, perhaps it was the universe trying to give him a chance to stop whatever inner turmoil was brewing within him. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Because right now, he was sure that he had never felt for another person what he felt for you. What he once had thought to be lust had merely been the illusion of it. A delusion made to make him believe that what he had been feeling for Haley was driven by anything other than the need to look complete in the eyes of others. The perfect man had a perfect wife by his side which developed into the perfect American family once Jack came along; but what are the perks of being perfect? Aaron had this irresistible urge to do something irrational, to act up and make irreversible mistakes that he would lay awake thinking about at night for weeks on end.

And here you were, strutting down the halls of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s headquarters, practically begging him to fall in love with you from the way your hips swung. It was enticing, and unfortunately, he wasn't the only one that was entranced by them. You were turning heads left and right as you passed by his colleagues, and it infuriated him like nothing before.

Aaron shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he watched you get closer and closer to his office with the brightest of smiles on your face. You were so focused on him and only him that you didn't even turn your head as one of the younger, nameless, agents whistled teasingly at you. But Aaron heard, and Aaron saw exactly who had been watching you with as much interest as he, himself, had. And in that moment, Aaron decided that he hated all of them.

"Hi!" Were you ever in a bad mood? Aaron had to reflect over it for a moment, you were like a constant ray of sunshine whenever you were around him, but he knew that that wasn't always the case; Haley had informed him of as much. It appeared as if you too were unable to keep a smile from your face whenever the two of you were together.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron straightened his back slightly, subconsciously puffing out his chest just a tiny bit, and clearing his throat. He waved for you to entre and close the door behind you. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see you, not at all, it was just that he couldn't help himself from growing hard in his slacks whenever he saw you.

"I brought you lunch, a little birdie told me that you usually skip it." You didn't notice his obvious apprehension as he glanced nervously out the window to his office to see if anyone was watching the two of you, or perhaps you just decided to ignore it.

"You didn't have to do that." Aaron tried not appear over-eager as he attempted to sneak a peak inside the bag you had been lugging over your shoulder, filled with whatever you had cooked up. Haley would always brag about your cooking skills to her girlfriends whenever they were over at the house for dinner. Aaron hadn't had the privilege of tasting your food yet, always being pulled away by a new case whenever plans had been made.

"Oh, don't be silly, I wanted to." You lightly tap his shoulder teasingly, sending him another of those smiles that practically made his heart stop for just a few moments. You had moved around his desk as you presented your offering to him, taking every opportunity to be closer to him. Aaron couldn't stop the shy grin that he sent you in return, even if he had wanted to. "Do you want to eat here?" You continued, glancing around the room for the first time, taking in all the paperwork and all the people that were trying, and failing, to inconspicuously watch the conversation you were having through the glass. 

"Let me just clear some of this stuff up." Aaron stood shakily as he shuffled through the piles of papers, making room for the both of you on his cluttered desk. It wasn't exactly the ideal place to be, he wanted you completely alone, away from all these people, but Aaron knew that he wouldn't be able to control himself, and he couldn't risk that, not yet at least.

It was when Aaron had finally insisted on walking you out after lunch that someone couldn’t stifle their curiosity anymore. Of course, it was Morgan that came waltzing up to the two of them, whistling mischievously as he surveyed you with a glint in his eyes.

"Were you trying to sneak her out of here without introducing us to your friend, Hotch?" A grin wider than the Cheshire Cat's made its way across his face, a smile that had broken many hearts previously. Morgan didn't try to hide the way he dragged his eyes up and down your figure. Could he be blamed? You had this air around you that would draw people in, no matter who they were. It drew one in with a promise of the possibility of exhilarating moments, intimately shared between you, them, and the world. It gave Aaron the impression that if you asked, he would do anything for you.

Aaron got so distracted by it that he didn't pay attention to you making nice and introducing yourself to Morgan and the others. He was so preoccupied with worrying about the possibility of other men's attraction to you that he could barely focus as he glowered around the room, meeting the hungry gazes of some of his fellow agents. What if you found somebody else? Somebody better? Somebody who could give you everything that you deserved. Aaron didn't think about the fact that he had his own wife and child at home; a wife who deserved much more than a man who was lusting after her niece.

"Have you been keeping her from us, Boss Man?"

"Huh?" Aaron blinked a couple of times, trying to make his mind focus on what Morgan was saying but it was close to impossible.

"Oh, he can't be blamed," You had obviously taken notice of his distracted state and placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort, squeezing tightly as you let out an infectious laugh. It offered him more comfort than anything ever before.

You had moved closer to Aaron, pushing your arms together more and more. Aaron didn't know whether it was subconsciously done or not, but he welcomed it, nonetheless. Standing next to you was like standing next to the sun, heat radiating off of you in waves of comfort.

The action would be something that would worry him later. With a room full of profilers, somebody was sure to notice the way you made his heart race and palms sweat.

"She's too nice to be around you guys." Aaron muttered gruffly. Morgan laughed as if it was a joke with JJ chiming in, but Aaron was more than half serious as he said it. He didn't like sharing; never did, never would do.

It was even more impossible for Aaron to stop thinking about you after that. That small act of kindness, of bringing him lunch, replaying over and over in his head. He wasn't used to people taking care of him. He had been as independent as one could be since he turned 18, despite having been married for an odd number of years. Haley had never even mentioned the possibility of her bringing him lunch.

Aaron and Haley’s marriage had been on the rocks for a while now; in fact, Aaron could argue that it had been that way since the start. Affection wasn't exactly an active part of their relationship, and they were both more interested in other people than each other. But still, Aaron had never cheated on Haley. He hadn't ever felt the need to, he had always been perfectly contempt in the arrangement that they'd had. He didn't know if Haley had showed him the same respect, it wouldn't surprise him if she hadn't. She was far more unhappy with him and the life that they shared.

He knew that he should've divorced her a long time ago. It had been the right thing to do. He had been meaning to for a while, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. But you... you were brining feelings to the surface which he had ignored for so long, and he didn't know if he could go on doing that for much longer.

You brought along a shift in his marriage to Haley. A shift which he had been too blind to see in the beginning, but which was beginning to become clearer and clearer to him now. The rows which he and Haley would have started becoming more and more heated, more and more frequent. Constant arguing over the smallest of things were a regularity in their daily life and there was barely a cool-down period between each one by now. Before, it had been Haley berating him for all the wrongs he did her as he was loyal to his job. Now, he pushed back as he saw the promise of something happier glittering in the distance.

Maybe that's why he did what he did; why he invited you in when you came knocking on the door the night Haley was out with her sister and Jack had been put to bed. Of course, you weren't there for him, it was her you were seeking on your way home from a late shift at work. But he couldn't resist having a moment alone with you; a moment completely by yourselves without spectators and auditors.

"Haley is out with friends." Aaron wouldn’t be the Unit Chief of the BAU if he had missed the pleased look that flashed across your face as you took in the news whilst you stepped into the house.

"Oh, that's too bad." Was it really? He'd like to think of it as a blessing.

"Can I get you anything?" Aaron scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he fumbled over his words from nerves. It was becoming an automatic reaction, palms becoming clammy and heart roaring in his ears whenever he would see you. You made him feel far younger than his years. 

"I brought a bottle of wine we could share?"

"Wine?"

"I bought it on the way home... work has really been riding me this week so I need it." Riding you. Did you do it on purpose? Say these things to rile him up and make him want to take you that much more? You had to be. You were an absolute minx, fuelling the fruitless fantasies of a dirty old man. But you were a bad girl, weren't you? A bad girl that needed to be punished and he wouldn't mind volunteering himself for the job. Yes, Aaron could imagine it happening in quite a few ways.

You pulled out the bottle of red from the convenience store bag that had 'thank you, thank you, thank you' displayed in red across the front and was tightly grasped in your hand. You wiggled the bottle slightly, trying to tempt him even more, but Aaron didn't need much convincing. In fact, he needed none at all. You had to know that.

The two of you settled into peaceful conversation after Aaron had gotten the bottle opener from the kitchen along with two wine glasses. How is it that you can fall into such easy-going conversations with a person you barely know? It had been that way from the start. Aaron had never felt the pressure and stress that could often accompany conversations with others. He was a confident person, yes, but he, like all others, had often had  to wrack his brain for a topic that was only minutely interesting in an attempt to avoid awkward silence. With you everything was so different, fresh, and new. It made Aaron realise that he had perhaps always settled before; or perhaps saying always was unfair, but a majority of the time, at least. Settled when it came to friends, settled when it came to his job, settled when it came to his wife.

Was it love that he felt for you? Perhaps. After all, you had made Aaron question everything and that included what he had interpreted as love before. How could he possibly ever know what love was again? Did he love you? No, he knew that much, or at least he wasn't in love with you and that was an important distinction. But he loved you for the way that you made him feel, for the way you made him realise that happiness was within his reach. It would be easy for it to develop into even more if only he let go of all his inhibitions. 

Was it him that had moved closer to you? Aaron didn't know, but all of a sudden he realised that your thigh was pressed up against his own and it took everything within him not to reach out and touch you again. He wanted to feel what your supple skin felt like underneath his fingers and what a moan that slipped past your lips would sound like. Aaron needed to know how you would feel with your walls wrapped around his cock as he pumped into you. He needed it like he needed air to breathe; so, was it really his fault when he finally let his arm fall over your shoulders mid-laugh?

You didn't shy away from his touch. Far from it, you welcomed it whole-heartedly, pressing into his side and slinging your outer leg over his lap. There was a brief pause of silence as he surveyed you, breath shakily exhaling as he though his options through. He could either push you away and make up some sort of excuse as to why you would have to leave, or he could pull you even closer and deal with the consequences afterwards.

Planting his hand on your thigh and encouraging you to straddle his lap was the obvious choice for Aaron. It might not have been the right choice, the chivalrous choice, but he would never find himself regretting the decision. Not ever.

You let out a giggle as you got settled, hips pressed flush against one another, hands coming to rest on the backrest of the couch on either side of his head, caging him in as his own rested securely on your hips. He felt like the vulnerable prey under you gaze; you were the predator, watching him in trepidation, ready to pounce and claim what you deemed yours at a moment's notice.

Aaron had to crane his head back to be able to meet your gaze. There was a dangerous and hungry glint in it, hiding behind feigned innocence that could fool anybody, even him. You weren't a complete innocent party; you knew what you wanted, and what you wanted you would get as the final victor in it all.

"You're so pretty." It was a reflection that Aaron had meant to keep to himself, but he feared that he would regret not saying the words now just in case he never got the privilege to say them again.

"You think so?" The grin that weaved its way across your face was far less than bashful, it was full of pride as you knew just what you did to him.

Aaron hummed lowly in reply, continuing to admire you. He wasn't shy as he let his eyes wander to your cleavage that was practically calling his attention as it paraded in front of him.

His hand came up to finger at the neckline, pulling at it to reveal even more of your skin to him. A groan caught in the back of Aaron's throat as he saw the lace of the bra you were wearing; the flesh of your breasts almost spilling out of it as it fought its confinement.

There wasn't even a hint of hesitancy as you brought the garment over your head, flinging it away to an unimportant corner of the room before retaking your position on top of him.

You were glorious; the most beautiful creature he had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

"And what do you think of this?" You asked cheekily, tongue running along the inside of your lips as you tried to not grin too widely.

"Beautiful."

Aaron couldn't hold himself back any longer. He had to know what every inch of you tasted like, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

His left hand, the hand that had been toying with your shirt, travelled even further north to wrap around your neck, finding a home there and pulling you forward gently so that he could finally press his lips roughly against your own.

You tasted just like he had dreamed, soft and sweet and subtle under the traces of wine. There was no stopping him after that; he craved more and more with every low moan of pleasure that escaped you.

Your hips had begun to grind down against his in small waves, seeking any sort of friction to alleviate the throbbing that had been steadily growing between your legs throughout the night.

Aaron rutted his own hips upwards and the sharp jolt caused you to disconnect your lips from his for a brief moment to let out a wanton moan.

"You like that?"

"I love it."

Aaron wanted to make you moan. He wanted to hear you scream and weep and laugh as he made you cum over and over again. He wanted to bury his face between your legs and feast until he was no longer hungry. He wanted to thrust into you without abandonment until he had coaxed a thousand orgasms out of you. He wanted to fill you up and watch as his creamy, white spent leaked out of you and then he wanted to do it all over again and again and again. Aaron was prepared to offer everything he had and more just so that he could see your face furrow as an orgasm caused your body to convulse and chest to heave.

"We shouldn't." Aaron tried to be the mature one in the situation but it was if neither you nor himself had heard him as you both continued grinding down and up against each other, chasing whatever relief that was offered.

You know those moments when you know that you should be doing anything other than what you were doing at that instant but then you cannot possibly even consider doing anything else but? This was one of those moments.

Aaron's lips devoured your own in a frenzy. It was like he could never get enough of you, biting and pulling at your lips, trying to sate the need he had for you in any way that he could. His tongue explored your mouth with a delighted moan, and you grew wetter with every nibble.

Aaron's hands clumsily made quick work on your bra, pulling it from your body eagerly. The swell of your breasts was glorious and he didn't hesitate to disconnect his lips from yours so that he could wrap them around your nipple, giving it the same treatment as he caressed and tugged and nibbled at it.

His actions caused shockwaves of pleasure to run through your body, straight to your core as you pulled on his dark hair as you tried to not lose yourself to the overwhelming pleasure of it all too soon.

Each of you moved as rapidly as the other, pulling at your clothes to undress as rapidly as you could. As you were finally rid of your clothes, Aaron wondered for an instance if he could keep you like this, gloriously nude and practically drunk from the thought of him.

"I’m gonna fuck you right here on the couch, do you want that, sweet girl?" Aaron cooed at you in only his boxers, shirt having been discarded and pants being pushed down to his ankles. His hand caressed your cheek briefly before trailing all the way down to your clit, giving it a quick rub and flick, eliciting another soft whine from you.

"Right in plain view of the door so that if Haley comes home early, she will see exactly what a bad fucking girl you are as you take my cock." You couldn’t help the moan that slipped out, and a grin grew on Aaron’s face as he heard it.

‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You fucking slut.’ Aaron wanted Haley to come home now. He wanted her to watch as he pushed his cock into you whilst he fucked you with a passion that was completely unknown to her. He wanted you to ride him, walls engulfing his thick shaft, his fingers circling your clit as she sat in the chair across from the two of you, mesmerised by the sight of true ecstasy.

“Get up.” Aaron demanded impatiently, tapping your side lightly with a finger. He lifted his hips just high enough so that he could slide his boxers down to join his pants, cock slapping against his stomach as it was exposed to the cold air.

You fell to your knees at the sight of him, hands resting on his thick thighs as you lurched forward, needing to taste him but Aaron stopped you with a hand before you could. He loved seeing you like this, on your knees for him. He fisted his length, spreading the small bead of pre-cum over his tip with a thumb as he came to the top. He was painfully hard, head angrily red, weeping for your mouth.

"There's no need to rush, sweet girl." Aaron chuckled as you pouted. He felt exactly like you did, but he didn't want it all to be over far too quickly. However, he could just take you again after this so what was the point of going slowly?

"Open your mouth."

Of course, you were compliant, eagerly opening your mouth to take him in. He took the thumb that was smeared with pre-cum and brought it to your lips, letting you wrap your lips around it and sucking it into your mouth. He groaned at the sight of you, eyes wide and glossy. Your mouth was hot around him, tongue lapping him clean, and it was impossible to hold out longer after that.

He was quick to grip his hand on the back of your head, guiding you as you took him in your mouth. The pace he set was merciless. He made it clear that he was the one in control as he forced your head down the length of his shaft, making you gag around him as he hit the back of your throat. You were incredible, taking it all in stride as his hips rutted upwards needing to feel you taking him even further. His head fell back against the couch for a brief moment, eyes almost going cross as you hollowed out your cheeks.

"Fuck!" He groaned out. You were watching him from under hooded eyelids, eyes practically glowing with lust and his gaze was intense as he stared back. “I knew you’d love sucking my cock, you dirty girl” He smirked as he praised you.

You moaned around him, a small dollop of drool trailing down your chin. One of your hands moved from his thigh to gently play with his balls and he moaned before giving a final thrust into your mouth and then pushing you back by your shoulder to withdraw himself from you.

There were tears of pleasure trickling down your cheeks and Aaron couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction as you wiped your mouth clean with the back of your hand.

"Come here." Aaron was pumping his fist around his shaft as he watched you stand, legs coming onto either side of him before sitting down. Your breasts were pressed up against his, his cock wedged in between your bodies and pulsing angrily as he felt you rub against him, leaving a wet trail in wake, practically dripping onto him. He planted another kiss on your lips, this one was softer than all the others but still portrayed the rabid need he had for you.

He was admiring you. Taking his sweet time. There was an incredible yearning for you inside of Aaron. It was as if his entire body was buzzing from how horny he was and the pressure in his cock was beginning to become too much for him to take. He needed to be inside of you, to feel your pulsing walls wrapped around him.

You didn't appear to be enjoying his pause of admiration as much as he was. It was obvious that you needed to be touch by the way you had slid your fingers closer to your core, ready to plunge them into yourself to get some sort of relief. But Aaron stopped you with a swat to your ass and a tut. You yelped in the surprise at the stinging feeling.

"I didn’t say that you could touch yourself." Aaron reprimanded. He palmed your ass, kneading your cheeks firmly with both hands.

"You’re so gorgeous." He breathed out shakily, completely enamoured at the sight of you above him. "I’m gonna keep you like this, fucking you and filling you up until you're swollen with me.”

Another whine slipped out of you as you jerked even closer to him, clit rubbing against his shaft in long, slow movements.

"Do you want me?"

"Of course." Aaron had never felt more satisfied than he did in that moment, hearing your reply.

Aaron helped you balance on a foot and knee, coming up higher and spreading wide so that you line the head of his cock up with your entrance. His hand on your hip stopped you from sinking down completely, instead he used his other to gently and slowly drag the thick head of his cock through your folds, coating it in your slickness. Aaron enjoyed torturing you and seeing the twisted look of annoyance that took over your face, it was adorable. There was an obvious look of need that crossed over your face as you bucked your hips, trying to get him to slide into you.

"I don’t know if you deserve this," Aaron mused, sounding far too calm and unaffected by the situation "you’ve been such a bad girl." He started withdrawing himself from you, hands leaving your flesh, but you reacted quickly, grabbing a hold of his wrist and tugging it back to your hip.

"No, no, no, please, Aaron. I’ll be good, I’ll be so good, please just-" It was beautiful the way you pleaded for him. He wouldn't have stopped either way, but Aaron loved seeing you beg, to know that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. It was so painfully obvious that you were ready to do just about anything for his cock.

It was easy to relent, to let you finally sink down onto his massive shaft and let him bury his thick cock to the hilt inside of you. The moan that you let out as you felt him inside of you bounced across the walls until it was cut off by has large palm covering your mouth.

“Jesus Christ, you take me so fucking well, sweetheart, but you have to keep it down” Aaron felt like he was almost in disbelief, elated from the sight of his throbbing cock disappearing into the sweetness that was you, buried deep inside your slick warmth. You felt so good, so perfect, walls tightly gripping every inch of him as they pulsed. You let out a shuddering gasp as he bottomed out.

Aaron didn’t let you adjust, not really, he only allowed you to stop for a few moments, basking in the feeling of your fluttering walls clenching around him before he urged you to pull up and sink back down onto him roughly, bouncing up and down rapidly.

"Feels so- good." You breathed out shakily between urgent thrusts and grinding of hips.

"Yeah?" Aaron cooed as he watched you pull back up, only keeping the very tip of him in before sinking back down. "You like my cock? I’m gonna make you feel so much fucking better."

He planted his feet firmly on the ground and delivered a sharp and precise thrust upwards the next time you came back down.

"Aaron!" You cried out, falling forward as pleasure mixed with the slightest hint of pain bloomed through you. You braised yourself, holding yourself up by the back of the couch as Aaron slid down to get better leverage and began drilling into you at an unrelenting and frenzied pace. His grip on your hips was so incredibly hard as he used it to slam you back against him, but you didn’t care, too lost in the waves that were overtaking you. You had to bury your face in the crook of his neck in an attempt to keep quiet.

All mercy had left Aaron as he forced you down onto him over and over again, small praises escaping his lips every now and then as he met each movement with one of his own. You moaned and whined helplessly, clawing at the fabric of the couch underneath your hands, needing something to hold on to through his ruthless thrusts.

"You feel so good around my cock, sweetheart." He praised in a murmur. "So fucking tight." Aaron grabbed a hold of your arms, pulling you off him and down, pressing your face deeply into the couch and pulling your ass high up in the air before entering you again swiftly and continuing pumping into your sweet cunt. He had you pressed down firmly by the back of your neck, your back arching as the sound of skin slapping and the wet squelches of your sopping wet pussy echoed around the room. It made you even more drenched; the mixture of your pleasure pooling around the base of his cock, running down the inside of your thighs.

One of Aaron’s hands shifted to palm at your ass while the other travelled downward to roll and lightly pinch at your clit while rolling his hips and you writhed against him.

"You’re gonna be a good girl and cum around me." He instructed lowly followed by a sharp slap to your right ass cheek. “Can you do that for me?"

Aaron pushed you down even further into the couch for just a short moment and a deep thrust before you could heed his command, unsheathing himself from you.

He didn’t even have to begin to miss the feeling of you clenched around him before he had wrestled you into the next position he wanted you in with legs bent as far as they would go over your chest and back to the couch so that he could easily drill into you in deep and sharp strokes, but he didn't enter you just yet. He leaned back, admiring you as his hands spread you wide, baring you to him. You had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen, and he was compelled to kiss it. A sweet kiss and a short suckle on your clit that had you crying out from oversensitivity before he sank slowly into you again.

Aaron felt himself slowly losing whatever composure he had left as your muscles began to tighten around him over the coiling tension that was begging to snap. Your walls gripped him tighter and tighter until finally, Aaron watched as your eyes rolled back when reached your peak, walls spasming and drawing him deeper and deeper in. You were seeing stars as your legs shook uncontrollably from the overwhelming feeling.

Aaron couldn’t stop or slow down as he continued pumping into you throughout your convulsing climax. His breaths were coming out in short pants as he praised you, telling you how good you were and how beautiful you looked in that moment.

You reached up, treading your fingers through his hair to pull him down slightly to connect your lips in a kiss. It was soft; a lot softer than any kiss you had shared previously.

"You're so pretty when you cum for me." He murmured after he let you come down for your high for a few moments whilst leaving kisses on your neck. Aaron picked up the pace of his hips once again, balls swinging as they slapped against you every time he pressed himself into you.

He was deliberately rubbing his pelvis flushed against your clit to drive you toward the edge again. He needed to see you fall apart for him again, he craved it. It was easy for Aaron to tell that you were close to the edge once more. Your eyes had began glazing over again, becoming hazy with lust as your legs started to tremble.

"Think you can come again?" He didn't expect a reply from you, Aaron didn't actually think that you were coherent enough at that moment to even begin to form a word with your lips. Instead, you were babbling like a brook with an arm over your mouth to muffle your sounds. Your back arched, jutting out your chest as your second orgasm was steadily building up inside of you.

"Fuck. You look so good fucking gorgeous like this.’ He praised with a wet and sloppy kiss to your lips.

Aaron was so close to coming, but he wasn't finished just yet, surprising you as he flipped you over one last time, planting you on all fours before pushing your front over the arm rest. He didn't care if it wasn't the most comfortable position as he drilled into you, and neither did you, judging by your breathless moans. He needed to be deeper in you. 

"I'm so close." He groaned out, hips starting to stutter, unable to keep up the tempo he had previously kept so easily.

Aaron’s orgasm washed over him with a deep jerk forward, spilling into you with a groan. He continued thrusting into you, albeit at a much more languid pace, milking himself completely dry as he twitched slightly. He didn't want to withdraw from you, but when he finally did, he couldn't help but admire the way he leaked out of you. Now that he knew what you felt like, he would never be able to let you go.

[cloudninetonine]

Ugh I was just thinking about the procession of game events with the chain, specifically Hyrule, and it gives me heartworms to imagine Guide playing his game as a child, and so that it’s just 2 children fighting against the world who only have each other, then they meet again as adults in the flesh and one of them immediately recognizes the other and seems to fall in love at first sight…. Ugh what true love Im melting.

Conversely you apply this to other members like Time and Legend, who have had it rough and it quickly sours. Legend, who has someone who has been there through his worst times, always the same age and so they grow together but simultaneously grow apart due to circumstances beyond their control, and so he blames them for leaving him, a childhood friend that he can’t trust to stay when he needs them. It’s like the inverse to the Hyrule dynamic: a childhood love that curdled rather than bloomed.

And finally Time. God, Time, who already struggles with coming to terms with his own journeys and how they impacted his age, both mentally and physically in the sense that he and Guide started off together the same, as children, Time finally has another friend other than Navi or Saria, one that will also disappear like them but one day they come back, and… they’re really much younger, a decade at most. And Time is suddenly in the position of no longer friend, rather guardian, protector, even a guardian figure. It distorts the relationship past what it initially was. So in conclusion you’ve got: 1) a classic childhood friends to lovers plot that is sweet in its earnestness and simplicity. 2) a bitter rift between once friends, now strangers who have to learn to trust each other again. 3) a dynamic in which 2 people care for each other so much, but time and circumstances distort that relationship and suddenly one of them is wiser, more battle-bruised, more traumatized. In a way, completely unrecognizable, like a war veteran coming home to their sweetheart but they’ve been completely changed by their experiences. Ahhhhh it’s all so tragic 😭😭😭 I could retrospect it all day, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it, even with the other Links and, y’know, coupled with the fact that most of them can’t even remember Guide, so that’s yet ANOTHER box on top of the already big pile of emotional shit everybody’s going through.

ANON WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I'M IN PAIN

Coming in with a false sense of fluff with Hyrule and Player and the idea of Real true love then slapping me with the crushing pain that follows the Veteran and Old Man like the stench of death to a corpse 😭😭😭😭 I love it by god it fucking hurts to read it. Legend's bitterness and Time's feeling of lost, well, time being forced to grow up faster because of everything he went through

I need a fucking drink /j

[annabelle-creart]

Life of Rescue Bots x Sweet Tooth

"Zookeper"

“You!” the voice on the megaphone called with bitterness “who are you?”

“Name´s Charlie Burns,” the man replied, with all his weapons on his back and raising both hands in front of the big gate “I´m a nomad, I´m searching for provisions!” he screamed, wondering of someone could hear him “I thought this zoo was empty.”

“No, it´s not, I ask for you to…” the voice stopped when from Charlie´s back, two little kids appeared from behind “you´re not alone.”

“No, I´m not alone. They´re not contagious, either I, but if you want me to leave…”

“They´re yours?”

“They´re orphans, I take care of them.”

“And where are you supposed to go with those kids?”

“To an island, there is a sanctuary for them.”

The voice on the megaphone stopped for a moment, Charlie didn´t expected her to say something else, so, when he was about to go with the kids, the gate opened as soundless as an old gate can be in the middle of the night “you can come in” the woman said, “quickly, I don´t open the door so fast for anyone.”

The man and the two kids run as fast to the house, he was old, not like the olds days when he was on duty, “thank you. What´s your name?”

“Aimee Eden, just call me Aime.”

“Thank you, Aimee, I promise my stay will not take long.”

“The kids can stay in my room, and we make breakfast early” Aimee said, showing the other three the way through, the kids were watching fascinated the big statues of two giraffes, one big and one little, and the cages that now were beautiful gardens with food.

“What do you mean with ‘we’?”

“My daughter and I, Wendy.”

“You´re not alone either!”

“She´s asleep, so, please, stay quiet, she´s too hyperactive for her height and took me like two hours to make her sleep.”

“Hehe, I know how that feels.” Charlie chuckled.

“Are they the same?”

“No, they´re as quiet as rocks, I´m talking about my older sons and daughter, when they were kids was like having a tornado in the house.”

Aimee and Charlie gave the other a big smile, how weird was to have fun with a man on the middle of the night, it´s just, well, Aimee never thought it would be by letting him enter her zoo because he had kids and needed a place to rest, the great crumble did some weird stuff to people.

The two stayed on the try of restroom she made lot ago to make the zoo feel like home, but while Charlie felt asleep in no time, Aimee stayed awake as much as she could, not knowing what the man was going to do, one thing was to let him in, and another was to trust in him.

The next morning, it was the three kids who waked the adults up, it was about to be 8:30 on the clock and the plants needed some fresh water, and Wendy was to little to do the hard task by her own.

They made the tasks, and while Aimee do hers on the radio room, she made Charlie compensate the rest night on doing some favors, the more far he is from the radio room, the better would be for her and Wendy.

Finally, Breakfast time, a real breakfast, Charlie had promised the kids they would have something like these all days when they got to Griffin Rock, and after washing, the kids were guided by Wendy, she wanted to show them all the zoo, she was such a, energy filled little girl, and the two kids were happy to play with another kid of their age.

“How old is Wendy?”

“She is seven, about to be eight. And yours?”

“I don´t know, they don´t know their ages, but I think Soren is six and Eglantine is four.”

“Wait, Soren and Eglantine? Like the Ga ‘Hoole characters?” Aimee asked, looking Charlie oddly.

“I didn´t expected you knew those books; those are the favorite of my youngest son.”

“Two kids with feathers and those names and you didn´t expected me to unite the pieces? Those are Wendy´s favorite too”

“I told them those will be the first books they will learn to read when we got back to the island” at those words, Aimee stopped her thinking for a moment, she wasn´t sure, and her loneliness made her incapable to trust as much to someone. So, she had an idea.

“They can stay with me.”

“Sorry?”

“They can stay with me, the world is rude, and, well, they need a stable place, and the Last Men are hunting every hybrid they see.”

“Aimee, I´m grateful you helped us, and about everything you are offering, but they´re my responsibility, my job is to take them to a safe place, and kids like them, and the island I come from is the safest place in the world, believe me” Charlie said more serious than usual “Thank you, Aimee, but those kids stay with me.”

And so, he did, Aimee offered them food and provisions, and Wendy gifted the kids her favorite crayons, and a drawing she made of them, she liked to draw and was very good at it. At some point, Aimee understood Charlie´s thinking, she had the same thinking, and when a little excavator hybrid named Bobby came to their lives, Aimee thought it would be a good idea to start doing what Charlie did, now, the zoo was blooming, it was time to make it a good place for a good purpose.

---

This shot is now on the Extras part two of the Sweet Tooth: Griffin Rock book on Ao3 and Wattpad.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I once made a funny shit post about the Young Wizard actually beaming to the Spiral at the tender age of 45 but it got me thinking of the opposite. What if the Wizard was incredibly young

Since in the game it isn't specified at what exact age we arrived in the Spiral I think it's just up to the player to come up with that part. I personally like to think The Wizard was around 7 or 8 when this happened but what if they were actually like four or five years old

Like shieeeet that's young enough where we wouldn't really remember our time on Earth very clearly right? Our family and maybe our friends but unless we had like ungodly memory powers, we wouldn't be able to remember all of the details of our original home. Like isn't it proven that human beings first gain self and special awareness at 3 or 4? Something like that

And this can open up for some sweet scenarios - little kid Wizard running up to Malorn with a scribbled drawing of him with a big smile on his face, or us and Ceren reading picture books together or clinging onto Nolan's robes as we attempt to stand on his feet as he walks like a penguin, but there's also this sad and messed up undertone that in this universe Ambrose took what was essentially a child just out of toddler stage and decided to keep them in the Spiral instead of returning them to their family

And like imagine how that would affect us. We would see it as normal at first because we grew up in the Spiral, we spent more years in the wizard world than in our home on Earth, but what if the Wizard gained awareness later on in life and actually realized what happened. Would they even care at that point because the Spiral was integrated in them at such a young age? Would they feel any yearning towards their original family, would they miss them at all? Would the Wizard be bitter about not getting to know them?

It's different when you're 7 - 10 and onwards because at that stage in your life you've more than gotten used to Earth life. You've gained awareness and it has been emotionally and mentally established that THIS (Earth) is your home. You know your parents and you know your friends and you know your environment. You will miss that when it's gone and feel it's absence because you're old enough to at least notice when you're taken away from it. But when you're still at that impressionable and oblivious stage of like 4 - 6 years old? The Spiral is all you know now. Your parents faces will be blurry, you may not even remember the details of what your home looked like. You may remember certain smells, colors or feelings you experienced when you were on Earth but that may be about it. And the saddest part about that is depending on what Ambrose and the other adults put our Wizard through, we may grow to completely forget even those essential memories. That Earth part of us would TOTALLY be gone and that would include even our parents (or other caretakers). I'm crying actually

[consistentsquash]

HP Femslash Recs from 2023 (January to June)

Recs for new femslash fics posted in first half of 2023. January to June! One fic for each month. Rec lists are based on my reading and what I like. YMMV.

Theme - HP ladies rocking their queer side during different stages of their lives. Some of them are also rocking their dirtybadhotwrong side <3

AO3 collection

  Petunia Comes First by DepravedDesires (January)

Themes - dirtybadhotwrong

Pairing - Petunia/Lily

Rec because - dirtybadhotwrong femslash is the best starting fic for this list. We stan! Petunia definitely deserves to come first.

How dare Lily ignore her until there was something she needed from her sister? Typical Lily, making a mess of things and then getting someone else to clean it up for her.

  Candles Lit Against the Dark by @perverse-idyll (February)

Themes - Retirement + Healing

Pairing - Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank

Rec because - This is so totally the retirement life I want. It's packed with beautiful friendships, people focusing on the sweet instead of the bitter, people moving on together, people forgiving each other. It's an incredible fic with perfect execution on some classic tropes like matchmaking and friends who are going to help you whether or not you asked for it. Also some not so classic tropes like celebrating a female character's life/happiness/love being the center of a rich fic. Ultimately this is Minerva McGonagall's fic and I am so here for it. Her life is full! She's done a lot, she's got the perfect retirement and her friends are her best fans. It's got a big cast and everybody is characterized really vividly. This fic is like fruitcake. But really, really rich homemade fruitcake. It's just juicy and bursting with flavor. ~~Sorry, Claxton Fruitcake Company~~. Also this fic has the Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank for me. Of course PI's Snape has been the Snape for me from the first time I read When the Rose and the Fire Are One. Speaking of Snape. Oh yeah!!! We get Snape. Lots and lots of Snape. Also some lowkey/not so lowkey Snarry flirting. But definitely don't pass on the fic if you are squicked by Snarry. This fic is so much more than that and you definitely won't be squicked by anything. I am normally a YMMV person when it's about squicks because those can be pretty subjective but I am giving a no squick guarantee on this fic. READ IT <3

At around four in the afternoon, with three chapters to go in the espionage novel she was reading – since popular thrillers provided not only diversion but an eye-opening refresher course on Muggle slang and cultural attitudes – Minerva glanced up from the page to find Wil leaning in the doorway, watching her.

Reccer note - If you don't normally go for PI's works because of the bittersweetness/ambiguity/intensity, this is a perfect intro fic you can read in any headspace. You get the Trademark PI Snape with lots and lots and lots of nonstop healing/good times and a 100% extra virgin pure legit happy ending. ~~No rimming though~~ We got gloves! But seriously. We get some of the classic PI themes like Ego Death, Real Death, Forgiveness, Atonement but these heavy themes are present without feeling heavy. My theory is PI drank a lot of champagne to get this nonstop bubbly effect in the fic.

  Once of Eden by eldritcher (March)

Themes - Crossgen + Coming of Age

Pairing - Lily/Eileen

Rec because - Poignant and super sharp character study of Lily. Lots of storms inside her head about her family/war/Petunia/Snape. This is right before her marriage but she has this feeling she doesn't fit into that life and she doesn't want to let go of her past. Like a lot of us, she's also seeing her past/childhood through these nostalgic glasses but at the same time she's also noticing adults in her life and has this bittersweet feeling that she's an adult now/making adult choices now. Serious Catcher in the Rye vibes. This fic has the Lily for me. Really like Harry, really Gryffindor. Don't let the pairing put you off. It's a really beautiful, sensitive, unique, powerfully human fic.

She knew there were girls who did this. Petunia and she had giggled about it once or twice. Sirius talked a great deal about how he liked watching girls kiss each other. It got him going like nothing else, he said. This would not get him going. Eileen was Severus's mother. Eileen was not a girl. She was sullen and cross, but not right then.

Reccer note - A great eldritcher intro fic for Marauders era readers. It doesn't have the rollercoaster intensity of their other fics. Definitely more approachable. But you can also see some of the classic Eldritcher themes about Nostalgia + Returning Home to find out nothing's going to be the same again + Permanent loss when one door closes in your life + all the characters being flesh and blood people you can empathize with without self-insertion. This fic made me cry but it was a healing cry. I don't normally see femslash fics hitting these themes so it's unique in my reading experience.

  Nymphadora, Nymphet by @thistlecatfics (April)

Themes - House of Black ladies being House of Black ladies

Pairing - Bellatrix/Andromeda, Bellatrix/Tonks

Rec because - Thistlecat has my whole heart for how she characterizes Bellatrix in this fic <3 Love, love, love. Also Tonks! This fic is layers and layers of delicious dirtybadhotwrong and at the same time a brilliant character study. Also the first time I have actually seen Lolita in a femslash fic. Whoa, love. AU premise but definitely don't let that make you skip this. Totally, totally pays off.

She had changed her hair for them. They asked about size, and she grew tall and then short. They asked about shape, and she gave herself broad shoulders, pulling at the seams of her shirt, even with the charms her mother had added to give her freedom of movement after the sheer number of clothes she had torn apart as a child in playing with her physical form. They named body parts, and she adjusted them as they asked, all four of them laughing. She was having fun. It was a challenge! They were going so quickly. When they said to make her breasts larger, she obeyed. She had played so little with her breasts, which had just started to grow, and flesh was so easy and fun to work with. They asked for bigger, and she threw her shoulders back and let them grow.

  Knotweed by @turanga4 (May)

Themes - Relationship resolution, war era

Pairing - Poppy/Pomona

Rec because - because I love fics which show us why it's important to focus on the good things/the important things during bad times. Pomona said it best! <3

“I need things to live,” Pomona continued. “I need things to grow. If I’m going to fight, I need a bit of why we’re fighting. I want this—want us, want you— for as long as I can have it.”

Leather by @saintsenara (June)

Themes - self-discovery, war era

Pairing - Tonks/Fleur, Tonks/Charlie, Tonks/Remus, Tonks/OFC

Rec because - I love this fic. It's got so much self-discovery with lots of good emotions but with a huge contrast against the war tension. Love how Tonks makes the best of each day because she doesn''t know what's going to happen tomorrow. Also love the confusion/acceptance/exploration cycles in the fic.

She’d learned the term for it eventually, and knowing the word had given her the power to understand herself - it was like magic, in that sense. The first person she’d told had been Charlie, as they relaxed - eighteen years old and feeling very grown up - after their first fuck. It had been nice - tentative and halting and all very un-British and sincere - and she’d confessed and he’d looked at her with his lovely round face and confessed the same. And they’d laughed and laughed at how they would be able to compare notes in future on what they sampled from the buffet of human genitalia.

Reccer note - Legit character studies of bi characters are super rare in our fandom. I don't really go for self-discovery type fics but this one is whoa! Love, love, love and highly recommend this one. It's out and proud and amazing. <3

[solhrafn]

I've tried making some progress on the film photography book project but it's going at less than a snail's pace which is nothing short of infuriating.

I spend a lot of time thinking and looking at my screen and plunging into random folders looking for some images and then forgetting what I was looking for. Classic me.

I'm also finding other pictures while doing that. Digital ones, other moments, other memories that draw my attention away from the task at hand and into the rabbit hole of emotions of times passed. How bitter sweet, the pictures of the children when they were infants, for instance. How interestingly inviting to musings the pictures of people that have become unreachable. How saddening, the memory of the deceased.

The same could be said of places, but let's not.

While driving home earlier, I dwelled upon my fear of death through the ages. I vividly remember panic attacks, two of them in particular.

The first, probably was indeed the first. I remember being merely 4 or 5 years of age. It must have been soon after my brother's passing. He passed a few weeks after my 4th birthday in a car accident while coming back from a night out at a club. He was a passenger. He was twenty.

It must have been the following summer, as I remember the weather was quite nice looking from the big window-door that lead onto the balcony of our flat. I remember the heat of the sun shining through the window. The light was bright and it was then that it dawned upon me. I too, was mortal. I screamed and I ran, seized by a fear I had never experienced. It was as if I experienced fear for the very first time. It was raw and unrelenting, it burned through me like molten metal would sear through flesh and bone.

I screamed and screamed :

"I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die!" Perplexed, one of my sisters —though it is possible that both were there— and my mother tried to calm me with what I already knew were lies : "But what are you talking about, you're not going to die!". They did not understand or pretended not to understand the direction of my meaning because I was a merely a child.

It was one of those defining moments in existence when as a illuminated being, you "come online". I knew I was mortal and I also started learning that I was smarter than adults or that they would blatantly lie, or both.

The second, happened in my early twenties. I had been gently and softly dumped by my girlfriend of the time and had in turn engaged in a bit of mindless hooking up while not exactly feeling better. I was also still recovering from a rather big depressive episode and was still on some meds to help me through it all.

One day, I found myself standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and stared into my own pupils until the fabric of perceived reality disintegrated. Something in me shattered with a snap, a bang, a crunching force.

I screeched and bellowed, voicing a cry of despair coming straight from the depths of horror. I was losing touch, I was losing my footing, my senses spun, as did I, running in circles around the table.

Still, I was screaming.

This shriek felt so out of place that it felt as though it didn't came from me. When the sound stopped, the trembling started. I went straight into my mother's medicine cabinet, where I knew she kept Lorazepam. One pill. Fifteen minutes. The terror would quickly recede and then we would deal with the long and painful aftermath.

The anxiety that populated my life in between those two episodes have been moments of heightened angst, during which my world and my mind were verging onto collapse, but never quite fell into the trap.

These eras of my existence, are vivid in my flowing memory for the melancholic qualities that they evoke:

I remember staying nights on end with the TV turned on, watching hunting and fishing shows far into nights of anguish, until I would fall asleep out of mental exhaustion. I had to keep my mind occupied, distracted. The magma of dread was too close to the surface to allow myself any moment of inner silence.

I remember being with my mom at our favorite coastal resort. I remember waking up the fright gnawing at me from deep within my stomach, eating away at my resolve and spirit while I was staring out the window in the quiet and warmth of summer nights.

I remember not wanting to go see Gladiator with a friend because I knew that the Roman Era would invariably prompt me to think of the passing of time as a concept. The inevitability of aging and decay and the cruelty of a world that limps on without you only overpowered by the knowledge that even the Universe must come to an end. I ultimately caved. We went to see it. I didn't regret it. It’s a masterpiece.

I remember later in life, experiencing a creeping feeling of unease while playing Homeworld, a real time strategy game set in space with a certain melancholy to it. Just like the relatively distant past of antiquity, the prospect of a future without me was unbearable.

Such thoughts are worse than having to reflect upon a past I never lived. This is the greatest injustice in the Universe, a sick joke by a sardonic god of old.

Recently, and on several occasions, I've involuntarily come close to lifting the thin veil behind which one should not peer, and almost shattered the mirror of illusions once again.

Though I'm trying something else now. I'm attempting to let go. I'm investigating other explanations for my anxiety, and surely enough, there would be plenty. Small ones. But plenty of small ones can amount to one big one.

Terror is the result of a grim displacement of difficult, desperate situations. As Death is the ultimate "out of our control" of mankind, it is indeed the perfect avatar for any sort of disquiet to develop into dreadful turmoil.

I need to get through this new episode of my life. The task is hard and my courage is lacking. The forever forwards, ever accelerating course of time doesn't help either. My youngest is the age I was when I had my first revelation. Their time becomes measurable to me, intuitively. The implications are disturbing and will require the most steadfast of inspired stoicism to weather away with dignity.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #288

My goodness, but I feel absolutely fucking awful right now. The extraction sites are very painful. The Novocain injection sites are pretty ouchy, too. But I guess that's to be expected; I only just woke up from some very broken sleep. Apparently, using a CPAP is a bad idea for the first few days of recovery; I slept on the couch because that's where I have the best odds of remaining mostly upright. The 800mg of ibuprofen I took before bed have very much worn off by now. I took some more earlier. It'll be about 20 minutes or so before they kick in.

All 4 of my first premolars were taken out in one go. I guess it's all right that I can heal from it all at once, but at the same time, this doesn't exactly leave me with a "safe" side of my mouth to chew with, and that's kind of annoying. It's gonna be soft foods for a while. I've got some leftover pork soup dumplings that I can munch on, and J was kind enough to run to the grocery store yesterday to get me some yogurt and applesauce. I should probably get some more soup at some point; yesterday, I finished the soup that R brought. It was such a perfect thing to eat after getting home; I was so hungry, and the veggies and beans and noodles that were in it were so soft.

…I spent the rest of yesterday watching The Zeta Project and being very bitter about the fact that this could have all been prevented if I had received proper dental care as a child. Sometimes I wonder when I'm gonna be done with paying for my parents' mistakes. It isn't right. It isn't fair.

…Nonetheless, though, it's still my responsibility to fix. Ain't nothing gonna drop out of the sky and do it for me, so I have to pull up my big adult britches and get it done, even if it fucking sucks.

…Well. The Zeta Project is always nice. I got through 20 of the 26 episodes that exist. The series isn't finished. Still… I watch it in part because Zeta, or "Zee" for short, reminds me so much of you.

And, before the justifiably cynical parts of your brain ask me, "why, because he's a robot?"… no. He reminds me of you because he's warm, sweet, gentle, and compassionate, and he'll regularly put the safety of others before his own - even the safety of people who are trying to hurt him. Though he is literally a machine, he still thinks, feels, and is sentient, just like any person. He was built to be a weapon, and for a long time, that's what he was, until he rose up in defiance of his programming, rose up in defiance of what his government masters expected of him. Zeta chooses kindness no matter what his circumstances throw at him. He chooses kindness, even when he's injured, being pursued, or being misunderstood. He's so much like you.

In a lot of ways, it's one of the most wholesome shows there are. In terms of overall wholesomeness, I think it's almost up there with Steven Universe, even if the flavor is a little different. I look at Zeta, and… given how wonderful and upstanding and amazing he is, it's almost like looking at you. I really think you should watch this show; I think you'll find a lot of it relatable.

It's a real shame that the series was cancelled. I'd give just about anything for a reboot of this show. But… what exists can be found on watchCartoonsOnlineForeverDotTV. Just replace "watchCartoonsOnline" with "wco", and "Dot" with a period. There are a lot of weird-looking ads (some of them are VERY weird), but just ignore them and don't click on them. Near the top right corner, there's a search bar, and below that, there's a dropdown list. Set the dropdown list to Episode Search, then fill the search box with "The Zeta Project" and click the Search button. The first episode is called "The Accomplice". Click on that one, and you'll be brought to the page with the video.

The actual video will be under something that says "Share:" in a big font; you gotta scroll down a little. In the window, it'll either be a black screen with a button that says "1. Player", or it'll have a Naruto-themed screen with a button that says "Chromecast Player (2. Player)". If it doesn't work when the button says "1. Player", click the button to make it say "Chromecast Player (2. Player)" and try again. I usually get the best luck that way.

In any case, I'll probably finish the last 6 episodes today. I'm not sure I'll be feeling well enough for Dead Cells. But maybe I'll try it out anyways, just for the heck of it.

J started playing Chrono Trigger last night, and I stopped watching The Zeta Project in favor of watching him play that. J didn't wanna bother with dungeons and combat, but M likes those parts, so when they came up, J passed the controller over to M. It was good to go through a favorite; I didn't have an opportunity to play it until I was over 22 years old, but I'm really glad that I did.

There's a character in it… his name is… Magus. Or Janus. Whichever he prefers; I don't really know. But… caught between the grief involved with being mistreated by his mother and by the loss of his sister, he did a lot of really bad things to try to get his sister back, and then… Crono and his friends help him to turn around.

There's a character called Glenn who got turned into a frog by Magus/Janus; I'm not sure that Glenn ever forgave him. But… Magus/Janus tried using his powers for good things after he was helped. He became someone who is kind and gentle. I think he goes by "Gil", "Guile", or "Alf" nowadays, and he's still using his powers for good things.

Hey, Sephiroth? Guile has killed A LOT more people than you. Like, A LOT, A LOT more. And he also started out with a WAY nastier and far more sadistic attitude than you were EVER portrayed as having. He has had things happen to him that have scarred and changed him forever. And you know? He still turned around - he did! And he's doing really well now, with friends and stuff, pursuing knowledge that excites him, and defying the conditioning that came with the inherent abuse of living with a power-hungry queen for a mother.

Sephiroth… if Guile can turn around, then good things can happen for you, too. I just know it. If you try really hard and if you count on the people around you to help you, you can become so much more than the product of your birth and upbringing. It's like Mewtwo says: "The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

…I'm doing that work. It's why I am taking the steps to correct the neglect and abuse I received as a child so that it stops controlling my life in negative ways today, even if taking these steps is very painful and uncomfortable and scary. It's why I got my teeth pulled for the sake of these braces. Yes, I will have to lose parts of my body that I never should have had to lose (they were 4 beautiful and perfectly healthy teeth…!!!), but even if I have to deal with that grieving, it's going to be better for me in the long run.

I WILL become a healthy human being, no matter WHAT it fucking takes!! I WILL recover from the wreckage of my childhood, no matter WHAT it fucking takes. I WILL become someone who can be good and kind and compassionate with myself and with others, even if the beginning of my life should not have allowed for that - no matter WHAT it fucking takes. And it will happen because I decided that it will. The only thing in this world I am in control of is me, and I am going to try my damnedest to make sure I do not misuse my powers of choice, self-control, and free will.

…You will, in an effort to correct what you withstood as a child, also have to lose parts of yourself. Most likely, you will need to lose parts of your psyche - like the ones that tell you that you're not worth as much as other people, and the ones that tell you that the best soldiers are cold and unfeeling and ruthless, and the ones that tell you to prioritize fulfilling the fucked-up expectations that power-hungry people have of you, instead of doing what is just and what is right.

But fortunately, minds are not like teeth; you can regrow missing parts into things that were better than what you started out with - do you remember the shattered bowl I repaired with the kintsugi set? It's a lot like that. And I know from experience that the work required to do things like that is painful, uncomfortable, and scary. But I also know that you're a stronger, smarter, and far more resilient person than me; if I can do it, then you can do it!! And you have absolutely no shortage of people who are willing to help you! And even if there was a shortage, there's at least one, and one is all it takes. And I'm right here. I'll always be right here. Because I believe in you. My faith in your ability to recover is unshakable. My faith in your ability to do good things is unshakable.

I guess that's it for today. I'm gonna finish watching The Zeta Project. And then I think after that, I will try some Dead Cells; the ibuprofen has kicked in, and I'm feeling pretty good. I just gotta take that amoxicillin (a preventative measure to avoid infection in the holes left behind from the removed teeth…), swish my mouth out with salt (since I just ate those pork soup dumplings…), and then follow it up with that chlorhexidine rinse. I'll leave a link here just in case I decide to play Dead Cells later. We'll see:

I get fitted for those braces on the 15th, I think. So in just a little under 2 weeks. It's going to be very uncomfortable for 2 years. But then it's going to be good. My bite will be fixed, and my jaw joint will heal. And maybe with my jaw joint healed, there will be less strain on my neck, which will hopefully translate to less strain on my ribs.

…Man, living with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is a wild fucking trip, hahaha… It impacts literally everything. But I'll make the best of what I have, even if it's not ideal.

Sephiroth. You gotta make the best of what you have, even if it's not ideal. Let the weird things break you open a little - the cracks in our hearts is how the light pours in. And it's through the cracks in our hearts that our love pours out. Everything is rainbow-colored, if you let it be.

I love you. Please stay safe out there. Please come back home to us soon. We love you and miss you a whole lot. It doesn't matter if you come back with a few bumps and scrapes or even with pieces missing; just come back home to the people who care about you, and we'll help you - I promise. Because there's no such thing as something that is unsacred. Anything broken or defiled can always be made whole again, in the same way that oysters turn irritating grains of sand into beautiful, kaleidoscopic pearls. You can do it!!

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 2 1999 Alternative Rock / Adult Contemporary / Pop-Rock / Teen Pop / Pop / R&B / Hip Hop

Back with another dispatch from the early run of the US' Now That's What I Call Music!, with the second installment from this gargantuan, neverending series. Take yourself all the way back to 1999 with this great ad for it!

Now, I definitely have not kept up with Now for a long while, but as a series that's known for repackaging huge chart hits on CD, I think this might have been its most unique volume of all, because a lot of these songs did not end up charting all that high in the US—at least not on Billboard's Hot 100—and a number of them actually fared far, far better in the UK, which is where Now originated from, with its first ever release dating back to 1983.

A prime example here is Robbie Williams' great pop hit, "Millennium." Williams is regarded as an absolute pop superstar in the UK, but he's only charted twice as a solo act on the Hot 100 in the US, and both of those singles have failed to reach the top 50. This one, which pairs recreated dreamy strings from James Bond's You Only Live Twice theme with a hip hop-type backbeat, only made it to #78, but it was a #1 hit across the pond! And I think outside of all that well-made, Swedish-produced teen pop/boy band fare, this one very well might've been the best pure pop song of the entire late 90s. The use of those epic Bond strings smacks of The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony" too, which certainly suggests that there's something about Brits and those damn strings.

And another #1 UK smash that didn't do nearly as well in the States was Fatboy Slim's irresistible big beat summer classic, "Praise You," which sampled from a lot of different places, including a Disney disco record, a JBL test album to get those iconic keys, Steve Miller Band, the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids theme, and a song by Chicagoan Camille Yarbrough called "Take Yo' Praise," from which Fatboy Slim took the lyrics. There was a whole undercurrent of this big beat stuff that was coursing through a lot of our commercials and movie and video game soundtracks back then, led by acts like Fatboy Slim himself, the Chemical Brothers, and The Prodigy. But it never went super mainstream like it did in the UK. Fatboy Slim's singles only charted twice in the US on the Hot 100, and "Praise You" was the best-performing one, making it to #36.

By the way, I have a really killer turn-of-the-millennium-type summer playlist on Spotify that has a bunch of songs like "Praise You" on it. It's called "An Endless Capri Sun or Juicyfruit or Starburst Commercial From Like the Summer of 2002," which will hopefully give you an idea of the type of vibe that I was trying to channel with it. God, I love that sun-shining big beat stuff!

And color me surprised to hear Jay-Z on here, because until 2001, Now pretty much seemed to purposely go out of its way to avoid hip hop altogether. I guess it makes sense though, since the music usually has explicit themes, and these albums are typically targeted at kids. But they really just couldn't help themselves when it came to Jay-Z's first real, true breakout hit in "Hard Knock Life" here. Mark the 45 King's novel sampling of the song of the same name from Annie made this one feel very kid-friendly and fun to sing along to, despite the numerous lyrics that had to be censored from it to get it on radio in the first place. Funny, though, that in a very American 90s way, and in a pre-onset-of-mass-shootings era, that they'd let a line like, "when my situation ain't improvin', I'm tryina’ murder everything movin'" slide through without any kind of edit. I mean, if they're playing this song on radio now, I'm thinking that that line gets hit with some kind of sound effect. But it didn't in '98 and '99, and that feels pretty remarkable in hindsight, especially since hip hop verses were constantly censored on radio, MTV, and BET, so much so that some songs felt like the track was getting jammed up at certain points 😅.

So, honestly, this might be the most unique release that Now ever put out in its main US series, as it seems to be the volume that's the least concerned with overall chart success among its selections. It still comes with some staples you'd expect, from Britney's "...Baby One More Time" to Everclear's "Father of Mine," effectively running a small radio gamut from the poppiest of pop to the most banal of alternarock, but acts like Robbie Williams, Fatboy Slim, Garbage, and even Cake are on here, and as an entity that's chiefly known for presenting the *biggest* pop hits of the day, those are probably some names that you wouldn't typically expect to be on a US release from this series.

And it closes with that odd Baz Luhrmann spoken-word advice column about wearing sunscreen that you might have totally forgotten about too. That one's probably the most ephemeral song of all on here; the ultimate entry in any sort of 'only 90s kids will remember these songs' type of list.

Hopefully you get a sweet memory-jogged nostalgia rush from some of these other songs I didn’t make mention of.

Highlights:

Britney Spears - "...Baby One More Time" New Radicals - "You Get What You Give" Robbie Williams - "Millennium" Semisonic - "Closing Time" U2 - "The Sweetest Thing (Single Mix)" Fatboy Slim - "Praise You (Radio Edit)" Garbage - "I Think I'm Paranoid" Cake - "Never There" 98° - "Because of You" Mýa & Blackstreet feat. Ma$e & Blinky Blink - "Take Me There" Everclear - "Father of Mine" Sublime - "What I Got (Clean Version)" Backstreet Boys - "I'll Never Break Your Heart" Jay-Z - "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) (Edit)" Baz Luhrmann - "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) (Edit)"

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

Stallard BS bc it’s my Friday night and I’m thinking about Her 💃🕺🏻

She’s 6’00”/183cm tall and a power lifter. Straight black hair that’s she’s been growing out and trimming herself since she was a kid, hits her hips. Born a blonde, went box black after the divorce and burning the house down. One of the only times in her adult life she cries is when it catches on fire and she has to buzz cut what’s left. I don’t think she ever grows it out again.

Her government name is Saeda Make-Sure Stallard II. She’s a junior, and the middle triplet, last one left. Her oldest full twin was Nesta Make-Even, and her youngest sister was Beaurie Make-Off.

Oh god I’m listening to Zach Bryan’s new album fuck me it’s so good.

She was called Little Saeda at home, and her mother was Big Saeda. And Big Saeda has always been too fuckin’ much for the world. She practiced blood magic—whether it worked or not there is horror to making yourself bleed for grasps at power—and her only daughters were covered in scars from learning the practice. Little Saeda no longer practices, she says, but when times are bad, new, neat little nicks and notches show up on her body and she stops meeting eyes with her head held too tall.

Wears gold medallions for Saint Jude and Saint Christopher alongside three gold crosses on two gold chains around her neck. If asked, it’s not for the Trinity, it’s for a thief and two martyrs.

Was raised snake dancing Pentecostal and has wasted many, many years bitter that God never deigned to speak to or through her. She was a tainted, unworthy little girl, just like her mother, even if her twins felt the spirit. She was a thing that God did not have time for, but a thing that the snakes loved, curling sweet around her wrists.

The last promise her daddy ever made her before his death was to not cut up her twins and feed the bits to pigs if she just stopped hiding.

She can do voice impressions. In another life she was a voice actress, but, still, she finds uses for it.

Her big tragedies got out of the way early, making room for a hundred years of life filled with mounting little humiliations. A wind blows through her, her thoughts have long stopped screaming and fallen silent.

The first dance with her ex-husband was set to “I Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash, which should’ve been an omen if she was listening. Everyone worth their fuckin’ salt knows that Johnny Cash wrote “I Walk the Line” for his first wife, while he was out running around on her—fucking, drinking, drugging, and pining for June Carter while Vivian Liberto raised their four girls and read all the fuckin’ tabloids. It was “Flesh and Blood” that he wrote for June Carter, but hardly anyone cares, because it doesn’t fuck as hard.

And apparently, neither did Stallard, because her marriage ended in adultery and over-indulgence by her husband, too. “I Walk the Line” is a cursed fucking song in her hymnal.

Lost her virginity at 22 to the love of her life. Lost him a few years later. But he came back, as risen-dead things tend to do.

Major horse girl.

Nigh’-nigh’!