#bitter cas fan

[vaicomcas]

The Frame Job

Another bitter Cas fan moment out of S13x6 Tombstone.

I talked in the other note about how Castiel actually looked sad throughout the episode. He was tentative, unsure what his place was. He felt guilty for not being there for Jack.

Then there was that (rare) scene of Castiel one on one with Jack in the hotel room.

Castiel: Jack, your mother, she believed that you would do amazing things. She said that you would change the world for the better. And now, looking at you, talking to you, I know that she was right, that we were right. Kelly would be so proud of you. (Then Jack was distracted by laptop and rushed to tell Dean about hunting clue)

But this was NOT intended to show them bonding. Just the opposite. It was to set up Jack's devastation later to contrast his deadly accidental killing with the "expectation" that was given to him, such that he became convinced that he was a monster. Before running off, Jack said the line "I can't make the world better" to make sure the connection is made.

It was received as intended. Back in the days when I still read fandom posts, I saw a lot of criticism of Castiel for giving Jack pressure to do good, even from hard-core bitter Castiel fans.

But like, first of all, it was a frame job. There are a lot more normal and logical moments they could have chosen to write for Castiel's first 1:1 time with Jack: to ask Jack about his experience so far or to teach Jack about angel powers (or for Jack to ask questions about Nephilim species or about Castiel himself or ask about his mother- the list goes on). But that was never what the show wanted or allowed for Castiel and Jack.

But let's just ignore writer's intent for the moment. Even if this WAS the first thing Cas said to Jack when given time together, what's so bad about that? He just came back from being dead. All he had to go on was what he and Kelly believed about Jack -- that Jack was a force for good, as opposed to the expectation from most that he would be evil. Castiel's first priority was trying to reinforce that. Perhaps, even without asking, he intuited that the Winchesters would not do such a good job convincing Jack of it.

And, as should go without saying, it was the Winchesters (mostly Dean) who are to blame for Jack's devastation at the end of the episode. Since the beginning of the season, they pounded into Jack the impression that he was already an irredeemable monster at worst (Dean), or was human enough that he could be taught to suppress his evil side at best (Sam).

But of course, after Jack saved their lives a couple times, and they all had therapy, Dean changed his tune slightly and admitted Jack wasn't so bad, so the Winchesters and Jack got to be portrayed as a happy family, only to have Jack run away traumatized as soon as Castiel returned.

Castiel's return was what should have saved Jack from his traumatization. Because unlike the Winchesters, Castiel believed him to be INHERENTLY good.

But no, Castiel just came back from the dead for 15 minutes, had 5 seconds alone with Jack, and could immediately be used as the fall-guy for Jack's loss of self-worth.

[vaicomcas]

Then in later seasons they made him say things like, "Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path." And "I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan."

They made him rip out his own history and his own identity to force the narrative that Castiel gained his morals through the influence of the Winchesters. Such BS.

S4!Cas was regretful that Pamela burned her eyes out from seeing his true form (something he had no control over, btw, just to point that out.) He told Dean that good things happen. He told Dean not to be too hard on himself because there was nothing he could’ve done to prevent Mary’s deal with Azazel and all that entailed. He not only shook Sam’s hand but took his hand into both of his own and told Sam that he, too, was honored to meet him, and that he was glad Sam had ceased his activities with Ruby (because otherwise Cas would’ve been under orders to kill him which, js, but you could probably infer that means Cas didn’t want to have to kill Sam.) He called Uriel out when Uriel was being disparaging toward humans. He told Dean that he was praying he’d saved the town, that humanity is a work of art, that he isn’t a hammer, and that he doesn’t know what is right or wrong. Whenever it came to fighting humans, Cas always picked the non-violent option and instead used his powers to simply make them unconscious. He was genuinely sorry he was under orders to kill Anna. He grieved his sister when she died. He told Dean that he’d give anything to not have him torture again, if he could. He disobeyed his orders to kill Anna. Even when it wasn’t within his power to help Dean stop Sam from confronting Lilith, he still managed to find a way to help. As soon as he found out that Heaven’s plan was to start the apocalypse, Cas immediately tried to tell the Winchesters. Cas was clearly remorseful when he was forced to turn Anna into Heaven. Even when it came to Cas obeying Heaven’s orders again after having been tortured back into obedience, his justification for doing so was at least everyone’s suffering would end and they’d be at peace.

S4!Cas was not some cold, calculating, emotionless, remorseless killer. At his ‘worst’, S4!Cas was pragmatic (and literally duty-bound) enough to understand that working toward the bigger picture of saving everyone was worth whatever sacrifice that called for, including his own personal morals—and even then that never meant that he enjoyed any of it or liked it or wanted it, and that he was never affected by anything he had to do, either because he felt compelled to do so himself or because he, like the rest of the angels, were under threat of torture or death if they disobeyed.

[angelsdean]

i'm just going to say. just like i cannot stand deancrit that removes all nuance, motivating factors, context, and offers little to no grace toward dean, i also do not vibe with legit cascrit that acts like everything cas did was in bad faith or that he never truly cared for dean bc he made hard choices in extenuating circumstances (constant unending apocalypses and also simply living in a horror show).

as a dean fan yes i will talk about how cas' actions at time can be perceived as uncaring or hurtful by dean, but i also know more as an audience member! i know cas's motivating factors. i know cas has is own issues, insecurities, and hubris from billions of years as heaven's most brainwashed soldier. the rebel with a crack in his chassis, who never stayed in line. i also know dean does not hold these things against cas. he loves fiercely, unconditionally. neither one of them love selfishly or are keeping score. they both make mistakes and they both keep choosing each other.

acting like cas is "soulless" or that cas only acts out of self interest or that cas is less "deserving" of dean's love is...insulting to dean. to me it translates to: dean is stupid for loving cas and EYE the viewer think dean should feel the anger and bitterness i feel toward cas. but.....dean doesn't. projecting feelings the characters don't have onto them because you think they should have them doesn't actually make it so.

dean continues to show up and love cas. dean continues to be shattered by the loss of cas because cas means that much to him. because cas matters. because love, real love, isn't flawless and perfect with no conflicts. and because relationships are work and require people to continue to try and show up and forgive and give grace and the benefit of the doubt. because when you love someone you view them and their actions in good faith. you are not bitterly keeping score and stewing over what you're "owed." dean is also living in that ending horror show. he understands what the stakes are. he understands self-sacrifice and making bad deals, even if he doesn't like it. he knows making a deal or prioritizing the mission isn't something selfishly done to hurt him specifically.

anyways what i'm saying is...yes cas is not perfect, he is flawed and messy. he is not a wooby angel or victim of big meanie dean. it's okay and good even to talk abt his flaws and the impact and consequences of his actions. but you lose me when cas is framed in bad faith as therefore not actually caring for dean or that dean should hate him. dean is a heart character. caring is the whole point. forgiveness and love is the whole point. wanting dean to be bitter and cruel and unyielding is.....antithetical to his character.

[whydotheycallmechimney]

have only been here for 19 days but seeing samgirls be like "well obviously hardcore deangirls watched the show wrong" and deangirls say "well obviously hardcore samgirls watched the show wrong" is so funny like, idk man I think it depends. maybe our biases affect our perception of the show, intentional or not. maybe the real supernatural lays somewhere between the two extremes.

[bisaster-energy]

something something the cop-ification of the winchester bros. that one post about how dressing up as custodians or plumbers is 100% more effective than g men. the way they think should be trusted by all others and those that do not trust them with everything are untrustworthy themselves. the mentality that is pushed in law enforcement shows that cops should be allowed to do whatever break rules violate rights "for the greater good." dean would literally have said acab if given the chance. im not connecting shit but gimme a break it's almost 3am

[vaicomcas]

About the "bladder infection".

Castiel's "mistake" was to say he knew everything about the guy after sniffing him; which is not really a normal thing to say (even in S5 or S6 he already told Dean "my people skills are rusty" etc, he was very aware of his limited understanding of human social conditions) and it was just a manufactured line so that Dean gets to "school" him.

And even disregarding the ooc nature of this "mistake", as you rightly pointed out, Dean used his (pretty minor and understandable) mistake against him. Some "friend".

And then: The bladder infection piece was only irrelevant because the show made it so to ridicule Castiel. But objectively, all information relating to a case is potentially valuable. At that point, bladder infection and his affair were both just facts about the case. But of course, Dean positions what Castiel brings to the table as useless and stupid, while assuming what he himself brings to the table was pertinent and important. Of course the show set it up so that this was true, but there is no reason for it to be automatically true, other than from Dean's narcissistic asshole POV.

Again "Hunteri Heroici"

Disclaimer: This is not a Winchester-friendly post.

What really upsets me whenever I think back on the seasons I've already watched [1-9], is that we get to know so little about Castiel and angels in general. This would be alright, considering that not everyone should get expansive lore. But Castiel is considered the "best friend" of one of the main characters and has stuck for countless of seasons. So why do we not know more about him and his backstory?

What really bugs me about it in particular, is that the main characters simply do not care or wish to learn more about their "friend". I've talked about the anvil episode before [S8EP8], and I shall bring it up again to make my point.

————

Castiel's unknown abilities.

At the time of S8EP8, Castiel has already been around for 4 seasons, more or less. This should've been enough time to gather knowledge of him, his capabilities, his origins. And yet, when Castiel decides to become a hunter and aid the Winchesters, a lot of what he does still surprises both of them.

He can "turn off angel radio".

Castiel [about the angel radio]: Oh, I couldn't say. I turned that off.

Sam: You can do that?

Castiel: Yes, it's a simple matter of blocking out certain subsonic frequencies. I could draw you a diagram if you want -

Dean: No, that's - We're good.

He's eager to share more about him and is willing to explain in ways the Winchesters can comprehend. Yet, he's immediately shut down before he can even finish his sentence. The active case is not an excuse for this — they could've taken up his offer but set it to a later time. They just don't care to understand.

He can listen to the police radio without any device, since it's all just waves. [At least Sam is openly surprised at this revelation.]

Castiel: Something is coming across the police band.

Sam: Wait, you can hear that?

Castiel: It's all waves.

Dean and Sam exchange looks.

Shouldn't your "friends" who have now known you for quite some time at least know what you can do? I'm honestly surprised they don't: not because I expected them to care, more so because they've always relied on Castiel for help in the past. At least as far as "usefulness" goes, they should've known more. They just have never bothered to ask. Why not?

Is it because anything to do with heaven immediately gets shut down because heaven and its inhabitants are just evil dicks? Is it because seeing Castiel possess skills much greater than them would be a reminder of the worlds separating them? Fear of inferiority? Fear of the unknown? Just the simple minded hate for the kind their friend is from? Afraid they'd have to recognize he is different than them despite their best efforts to pretend he's not?

———

Treatment of known abilities and Castiel's attempt to draw conclusions.

The next thing, Sam and Dean seemed to already know. Still, it's worth mentioning because of how they both handled it.

He can smell bodily diseases, detect sulfur or EMF and can see the human body down to the molecules.

He can determine if someone's been physically ill - which could help them exclude other causes that are not supernatural and save them the file reading. Not to mention EMF — which saves them from pulling out their devices. Why does Dean have to cut him short by demanding him to stop? No one but them was in the room anyway.

Dean: Cas, stop smelling the dead guy.

Castiel: Why? Now I know everything about this man and we can -

Sam: Do you know he was having an affair?

Castiel: What?

Dean: [while smiling] Strike one, Sherlock.

Castiel's assumption that he now knows everything was wrong — but this could've been an educating moment instead of a berating one.

Of course they are right when they say being physically ill isn't all you have to know to solve a case. The social circumstances of a person obviously do matter — Castiel is new at this (at least this close) so why is he ridiculed for a simple mistake made by not knowing better?

Some more talking about the explanation why she was having an affair via Sam. Then, scene ends with:

Dean: Heh. Guy was living a lie and it came back to bite him in the ticker. [inhales and turns to leave] But nice job on the bladder infection.

Dean could've just left it at "Strike one, Sherlock.". Yet he had to go and deliver another blow to Castiel as he left. I can accept the first one as playful banter, the second one however is just mean. It's just to shove it in Castiels face that they know better, are better, even without "angelic powers".

The demand for Castiel to stop could be reasoned with Dean just being weirded out [he is smelling a corpse after all]. However, the dislike towards what Castiel can do is clearly shown with the last jab at him; "nice job on the bladder infection."

It's really astonishing to me how even Castiel's objectively useful skills cannot take the hurdle that is the Winchesters apprehension towards what he is.

This is shown within the start of the episode even. After Castiel tells them he plans on becoming a hunter and informed them about a case, scene develops as follows:

Castiel: Excellent. I'll see you there.

Dean: Wait, Cas. Cas! You wanna play cowboys and bloodsuckers, that's fine. But you're gonna stick with us, okay? None of this zapping around crap. Capiche?

Castiel [looking away]: Yeah, I capiche.

Dean: Alright then.

Castiel: Can I uh at least ride in the front seat?

Dean and Sam: No.

First weird thing is talking about Castiel's plan to become a hunter in a metaphor to a game — yeah maybe that's just how Dean always speaks: funny metaphors, taking the seriousness out of situations. He could watch what and how he says it to his friend who's not doing well.

Secondly, the "zapping around crap". Crap? Come on now. What actually upset me about this, was the audacity to command it without solid reasoning. Castiel could've easily (e.g.) scouted the area, check out the body beforehand, yada yada — because he would've been there sooner.

Instead he's forced to sit in the backseat, drive with them.

Then of course there is the famed "I was being bad cop." - "You were being bad everything". Before I had known the context, I actually considered this funny. Now not so much anymore.

Castiel revealed that he had done research (!) on interrogation (here I am asking myself: when?) and then goes on to "bad cop" the women. Was it a terrible attempt? Yes. But it also was one of his first times. Dean and Sam did this for years. Without considering that fact, he's berated with a cutting comment from Dean again. At least this time he tells Castiel to listen how Sam does it [likely implicating that Castiel should learn from Sam].

Why not "It's good that you've done research but movies aren't actually portraying reality. You'll scare them so they won't tell you anything or they'll get mad at accusations." Yeah yeah, because this is Dean and Dean can't do compliments or direct, honest communication and he also talks with Sam like this. That doesn't make it better - it's an explanation but not an excuse.

All it would've taken to not be an ass was take Castiel out of the situation and save the comment. I'm not asking for a full on teaching moment there, but they've got plenty time in the car or in their motel room.

[Reason I considered this funny before was because I assumed it was banter between friends. Now knowing what Castiel has to deal with, how his mental state is, I think it's unfitting and inconsiderate behavior.]

———

Castiel's character.

Moving on from the underappreciated abilities Castiel possesses, I come to the blatant misperception Dean has about Castiel. It was actually shocking to me. They spoke in a motel room, where Dean then tries to convince Castiel to return to heaven and figure out what or who brought him back from purgatory.

Dean: How are you feeling, Cas?

Castiel: Fine.

Dean: Well, I just- I know that when I got puked out of purgatory it took me a few weeks to find my sea legs.

Castiel: I'm fine.

Dean: Well, don't get me wrong. I'm happy you're back. I'm frigging thrilled. It's just this whole mysterious resurrection thing. It always has one mother of a downside.

This is likely a reach, but the inquiry into Castiel's feelings doesn't seem very sincere to me in that scene. It did (!) up until the point where Dean rapidly moves onto the topic of Castiel's unexplained resurrection. How would the question about his well-being lead to the question of who resurrected him? It appears as if he's more curious about this than how Castiel is actually doing after purgatory.

Castiel: So, what do you want me to do?

Dean: Maybe take a trip upstairs.

Castiel: To heaven?

Dean: Yeah, poke around, see if the god-squad can tell us how you got out.

Castiel: No.

Dean: Look man, I hate those flying-ass monkeys just as much as you do, but-

Castiel: Dean, I said no!

To me, it was [to a degree] reasonable why Dean would request Castiel to return to heaven, despite Castiel saying that he wants nothing to do with that place anymore earlier. Resurrections without consequences never really happen in their universe. The way he went about it, however, is wrong.

What really struck me was Dean's last sentence. How little does he have to know Castiel to assume he shares his warped view on angels? How little tact does he have to possess to call angels "flying-ass monkeys" to another angel's face — to whom they are family. How can you spew hatred about a species to the one who is entirely part of it?

I truly wonder how Castiel perceives this. If he takes this as Dean separating him from them, severing a bond he wishes to nuture. Or if he assumes that Dean hates him too and only tolerates him for what use he can offer.

Dean: [after walking over to Castiel] Talk to me.

Castiel: Dean, I-. When I was bad and I had all those things, the leviathans writhing inside me, I caused a lot of suffering on earth...but I devastated heaven. I vaporized thousands of my own kind. And I can't go back.

Dean: Because if you do, the angels will kill you.

Castiel: Because if I see what heaven has become - what I [sighs] what I made of it - I'm afraid I might kill myself.

I love that Castiel here stands by his family and openly points out that he is one of them [...thousands of my own kind.]. He doesn't directly tell Dean he's wrong, but what and how he goes on to explain himself tells you all you need to know.

Dean can't understand why Castiel can't go back until he spells it out for him, because he's unable to acknowledge the relationship Castiel has with heaven, with the angels, with god. He cannot see the emotions Castiel shows because to him, the other angels are Castiel's frat bros, the god-squad. Never sister or brother. Never the same kind.

So logically to him, the only explanation is that Castiel fears the consequences of his actions. He doesn't hear the grief and regret Castiel carries for what he's done — which is ultimately the reason he doesn't want to return. To see what he brought upon his home, his family; that this would be too much.

————

Summarizing, the whole episode revealed that Dean and Sam actually lack significant knowledge of Castiel's capabilities and are horrible teachers. They don't recognize the potential Castiel possesses.

That's a long ass post now and I'm sure I lost the logical structure of it sometime in between.

[dotthings]

Probably preaching to the choir here since the spn people who follow my tumblr already know this, but for anyone who needs to hear it, no, Jensen was not "blindsided by the confession." He was filled in months in advance. He had months to ponder it. He and Misha talked about it. Misha and Jensen talked about it with Bobo. They all talked about. We've been told this, in bits and pieces, from various sources. The reason Bobo told Misha first was because by necessity, Misha needed to adjust how he played Cas in the final season to make it a bit more overt. On things that previously had been an undercurrent, and there in the performance, but when they realized that the confession was going to be greenlit, they realized they could lean on it more instead of treading carefully. Misha himself, fyi, said for years, he thought Cas was kinda into Dean and he put a bit of that into his performance, but Misha also was surprised they were permitted to go so far in openly acknowledging that feeling with 15.18, finally.

The reason Jensen wasn't told right off is that Dean couldn't know how Cas felt, and Jensen's method isn't to read ahead, he's told us many times, he doesn't read ahead because he wants Dean's reactions to be as organic as possible. So that was by necessity so Jensen would be playing Dean oblivious to just how far Cas's feelings towards him went. This was an actual plot point of Dean doubting their bond even. He was still informed well ahead of time, with plenty of time for discussion and processing and nothing we have ever heard has indicated he had any negative feeling whatsoever or wariness about Cas's confession.

Jensen in fact was visibly and openly pleased with 15.18 and the confession, as evidenced in PR interviews and all this has been heavily documented already. He has repeatedly praised the episode, and every time he sounds so proud of it and so excited, and he indicated on repeat occasions how excited he was for fans to see it.

In his post-spn comments, Jensen has said he wants to do a follow up where Dean and Cas get to talk about the goodbye scene and Jensen expressed that Dean was devastated, and that Dean wishes he'd told Cas I love you too and hugged him back. There's other examples I could cite.

Make-believe wankbaiting games from bitter anti-shippers is not ever going to make it so that Jensen was snuck up on, conspired against, stabbed in the back, or "blindsided" by the 15.18 confession. Once he was filled in he immediately held Misha's cape and supported Misha and Cas expressing himself.

[totallyunbiasedspnpolls]

A poll for Sam fans, by Sam fans...

This sort of poll is running at another spn polls account, but they admit "I'm not a samgirl and I rarely read posts from Sam fans. I did a little research for this poll, but I can accidentally misrepresent views of Sam fans with these options." Points for self-awareness! As Sam fans who *do* enjoy the character and read posts by his fans, let's give the SPN fandom a better option, for all the fans. None blocked.

(* these are not Dean or Cas-negative observations, but observations about how the show treated the characters differently in very similar situations)

[pollsnatural]

*I'm not a deangirl, I just read their posts sometimes, so I can accidentally misrepresent views of Dean fans with these options. If you don't find the thing that you're bitter about, please vote for "something else" and write about the thing in the tags (but this thing you're bitter about should be about the show, not the fandom, bc that's a completely different story and deserves another poll).

No hate towards Dean/Dean fans in the notes to this poll.

Cas poll, Sam poll

[midnightarcheress]

Simon lives up to the nickname. 

pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader 2 | gold rush masterlist.

every time you set a foot out of the house, he’s there. surely, a few steps behind, just like the orders say, but he’s there, hauntingly following you like a true ghost. lurking in the darkness or making himself known in broad daylight, he takes the job seriously, glaring at the people on the street who even dare to glance at you. it’s even worse when fans stop you for an autograph or a picture, towering by your side and meticulously watching every move made in your direction, getting ready to pounce at any minute.

the first few days were weird. he could sense how disconcerted you acted in his presence, even while flashing him a smile and saying a sugary ‘good morning’. maybe it was his size, maybe it was the mask, maybe it was the fact that a man was actively following you nearly every second of the day. the last thing he wanted was to frighten you.  

after a few weeks though, he noticed you getting accustomed to his company. he watched from behind how your back wasn't as tense, how you stopped glancing over your shoulder to check if he was still there, how you weren’t jumping anymore when he’d get closer, how you even tried to make small talk, despite his grunt-like answers. 

Simon didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t have been more wrong about you. you weren’t a pretentious rich brat as he expected. you were always polite, always smiling, always treating everyone in your way with nothing but kindness, something he wasn’t used to seeing. he reasoned that it was just your job as a very public person, after all, you had an image to uphold and he’d never actually seen you without the constant risk of being photographed and blasted online.

but in that moment, he couldn’t help the genuine concern for your safety starting to fill his chest and surpass the mere contract bond. he would catch himself staring at you for a little too long as you walked together, eyes attentively chasing the sway of your hips in each movement of your legs, the delicate way your finger held a pen whilst signing your name, your beaming irises whenever a child recognized you. he couldn’t bear the idea of being acknowledged on the street for his acts like you do.

“just ignore them.” you say, looking over your shoulder and noticing him stopping on his tracks on the pavement. for Simon, dealing with the paparazzi has been the most difficult part. military training comes in both an advantage and disadvantage, as his sniper eyes bust them from a mile away, spotting the greedy lens with intense precision, no matter how well-hidden they think they are. but the hard task is to keep his anger and itch to rip the camera apart at bay, when all they want is to snap you in bad light and sell it to the first rubbish magazine.

he grumbles, muttering cuss words under his breath. “you’ll get used to it.” the sympathetic tone of your voice eases a bit of his annoyance, going back into walking right behind you. 

the smell of freshly brewed coffee fills his nostrils as he opens the door of a small cafe for you to come in, rapidly scanning the room for threats. at that point, he already had your order memorised by heart. medium iced americano, no sugar. too bitter of an option for someone who looked so sweet, despite being accompanied by whatever muffin the store had left. 

“Ghost?”

his crossed arms tense up when you call for him, brows knitting together as he assesses the situation for any problem that may have appeared in the seconds he stood distracted by the waving of your hair under the air conditioning breeze. “mhm? what is it?”

“i asked you if you want anything.”

his knee-jerk reaction is to say a hasty no, thanks, but he’s finding it harder and harder to deny your offerings each day, when the small curve of your lips as you patiently wait for his response is so tempting. think faster. “uh, guess i could go for a tea. earl grey.” 

you nod and hand the barista your card, quickly paying for the order and standing by the counter. he remains a few steps back, waiting for the drinks with you. as soon as it’s ready, you hand him the cup of tea, fingers gently grazing over his, sending lightning sparks on his skin. keep to yourself, Simon. 

he shakes the feeling away and opens the door again, catching your eyes flicking to the silver pendant around his neck. once again, old habits die hard. he still wears his dog tags, the glinting metal serving as a constant reminder that he’s Simon Riley civilian, but will always be Simon Riley soldier. 

“military?” you question, stepping back to match his pace and walk by his side, curious eyes searching for his hardened gaze.

“yes.” his voice is sharp, settled in not prolonging the conversation.

you hum, turning your head back to the horizon, “that explains your skill set.” only then he shifts to see your face, raised eyebrows and question marks oozing out of his head. you chuckle, amused by his confused expression, “i got a file on you too, Simon.”

[vaicomcas]

Here is another of my self-indulgent Winchesters-as-villains fic idea.

In Moriah, Cas found Jack in the cemetery and managed to convince him to go on the run with him, away from the Winchesters' deadly plans.

In order to hide from the supernatural methods of locating Jack, Cas bound Jack's power temporarily, and they settled down in some town or city as father and son. (Castiel's power was so reduced at this point that it could be easily hidden with some warding. Or maybe he bound his power too).

Jack went to school and Cas got some job at the same school both to watch over him and to make a living. Like as a custodian or something, due to the fact that he didn't have a resume and wouldn't pass an extensive background check. (I mean, they shouldn't really need much money as they don't need food or shelter, but it would be too suspicious if they didn't live like normal humans. Plus, maybe the removal of power meant that they did have human-like needs.)

(I haven't thought through all the details of Jack going to school for the first time and both of them passing as humans-- surely not easy. On top of all the dire circumstances and tragedies of their lives and their relationship at this point. But I believe it could, over time, become a positive development for them.)

Meanwhile, the Winchesters hunted them. They ultimately tracked Jack down at his school because Cas and Jack were using fake identities which they knew how to flush out. So they went after Jack at his school, pretending to be ICE (immigration and customs enforcement) agents with a warrant to arrest two "dangerous" illegal immigrants.

But by law and by policy, schools have the right to deny ICE access to their students. The school officials and teachers bravely stood up to the badge-waving, gun-touting intimidations of the Winchesters, invoking their legal, professional, and moral authority. The Winchesters persisted; while the principal stalled the hunters in her office (because, rightly, she needed to verify that the warrant was legitimate--though the Winchesters probably have backup plan with Bobby as the fake judge who issued the warrant), the other teachers mobilized to warn Cas and Jack. With the logistical and financial help from the sympathetic staff and some of the parents of Jack's school friends, they made their escape, and disappeared from the radar of salmondean, at least for the time being.

(maybe there could be a "sound of music" style slashing of the Impala's tires by a nun or equivalent. NGL that would be my self-insert.)

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

this is probably stupid to ask, but do you like snape? or the marauders? there's always fanwars happening between marauders stans and snape stans. tbh i'm just curious where you stand (i like both, and prefer their canon selves rather than the fanon which is btw really stupid. they feminized sirius so much its not even sirius anymore.) what made you like snape? if you do, or are you neutral with him? just for a change of question since i always ask about harry.

Thanks for the ask! I don't think it's stupid.

I prefer their canon counterparts as well, the Marauders fanon has so little to do with canon I can hardly call the characters by the same name. They just aren't the same characters. Anyway, I'm gonna try and summarise my highly subjective opinions about them here.

1. Sirius Black

He's my second most favorite character and my favorite among the characters you mentioned. I wrote about him a lot on this blog, so I don't really feel the need to write more.

But, he's smart, resilient, and goofy on occasion. His love for Harry is one of my favorite aspects of his character because he loves Harry so much. And he has his flaws. He can be cruel, cold, and arrogant and I wouldn't like him as much if he wasn't visibly a member of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black regardless of how much he tried to get away from his legacy. I love how messy his feelings about his family are. He left Regulus' room as it was, even though the rest of the house got cleaned by the Order. He stayed in his mother's bedroom even when all the conversations he had with her portrait were in screams. I love his distrust in Dumbledore after everything he's been through and how he chooses to remain for Harry's sake — he's willing to do anything for Harry's sake.

I just truly love Sirius.

2. Severus Snape

He's the next on this list because I do like Snape, he's not a character I'm passionate about, but I like him. I think he shouldn't be a teacher (I think he hates being a teacher more than his students hate him teaching them) but he's a talented potion maker and wizard. And he is a very entertaining character, even without knowing everything about him.

But what really makes me like Snape is that I find him interesting. I think his psychology is interesting, as is his dynamic with Lily, Dumbledore, and Voldemort. Snape is a fascinating character to study from a lot of angles, and even as a reader, there is quite a bit that's up in the air about him because he's that good at being a spy and not giving us anything.

The other major thing I like about him is his competence as a spy and wizard. If there's one thing I love in my fictional characters — it's competence (and intelligence). I often joke with my irl friends that Snape is the only competent Death Eater and the only competent member of the Order of the Phoenix. We then joke that if we were in his shoes, surrounded by a lot of people who don't actually do anything and we're the only ones affecting this war from both sides, we'd probably be bitter too.

A little note that seems overlooked about Snape often in the fandom, in general, is how we think, "Oh, he's so great at Occlumancy and not being emotional" — that's not strictly true. When it comes to Lily or the Marauders all his well-crafted Occlumancy kinda goes out the window. In books 3 and 5 he throws actual temper tantrums about Sirius Black. Like, I feel Snape, deep down is actually super not well adjusted and is an emotionally unstable mess, but he learned to pretend otherwise. Basically, all the cold facade is just that — a facade. He isn't really that stoic.

3. James Potter

I'm weird about James. Like, he's almost a nonentity and what we do hear about him is either negative or comes from biased sources.

I do tend to give him more of the benefit of the doubt than a lot of other fans who prefer canon James do. He was awful when he was younger, he was a bully and he assaulted Snape and there is no excuse for his actions. That being said, I can believe he changed. War changes you and you'd be hard-pressed to find a 21-year-old who isn't ashamed of a lot of what they did or said when they were 15. And yes, some of what James did is definitely more extreme than that of the average person, but it isn't that extreme compared to the environment he grew up in. Remus tells Harry everyone was casting Levicorpous on each other in the halls. I'm not saying any of the bullying is okay, I'm just saying it probably seemed normal to him and this is important context. Same as I don't think Snape is abusive towards students when put in the context of their culture and environment where, until recently, they caned students (Snape actually seems very averse to corporeal punishment. He also likely treats Harry very different than he does literally any other student, but this is the James section).

I just, like the idea of James changing for the better. I'd like to think he did. That life and war and loss taught him something.

4. Peter Pettigrew

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I like Pettigrew more than Lupin. He's awful, he's pathetic, he's a cowardly rat man and I find his sniveling funny. Whenever I try to think of a what-if scenario in my head, Pettigrew is somehow the key to it. Because he's a character that affects so much of the plot in some incredibly crucial moments — he betrayed James and Lily, he resurrected the Dark Lord, and later, he allows Harry's survival. Idk, I just find his situation and just how pathetic he could get fascinating. It's, like, there is no rock bottom for this guy, he keeps digging. Like, you can't get more pathetic than living as a rat for 12 years when you could've moved to Argentina or something.

And at the same time, he clearly has some residual care for Harry for his father's friendship. He has so many opportunities to kill Harry or kidnap him when he runs away to join Voldemort — but he doesn't. Even after Sirius escapes and he knows his time is up, he still leaves Harry alive. When he is supposed to kill him in book 7, he doesn't, he again lets him go and pays with his own life for it. Like, again, idk, it's just how I feel.

5. Remus Lupin

I know I placed Lupin last, and it's because I don't personally like him that much. Pretty sure this is a little controversial, but I don't really like book Lupin, he does not vibe with me, at all. (Though I'd choose book Lupin over Marauders fandom Lupin every time)

Like, it bothers me that he doesn't actually care about Harry (the only one on the list who willingly physically harmed Harry, in a moment of anger, but still). It was Harry who asked to be taught the Patronus, if it was up to Remus, he wouldn't be involved in Harry's life at all. He tried to run on his wife when she got pregnant because he was scared. Like, Petttigrew is given shit for being a cowardly Gryffindor, but, look, you need some guts to betray your friends, so I'd argue Remus is the most cowardly Marauder (it's easy to be brave when you don't care for your own life).

But, all of this is part of his character and the story wouldn't be what it is if Remus bothered to get his head out of his own ass and check up on Harry. How he behaves makes him my personal least favorite Marauder, but I want Lupin to be a cowardly guy who runs away from attachment and responsibility because he doesn't trust himself with anything (especially not anything good). He's not cool, or suave, and he's desperate for people to like him but without actually knowing him because he thinks that if they do they'd run away screaming like he wants to run from himself. Honestly, I don't get why the Mauraders fandom made James the people-pleaser when Remus Lupin is right there always telling people what they want to hear so they'd like him.

Again, these are all my own personal subjective opinions, but yeah.

[angelsdean]

even in my peak bitter deangirl moments i still understand how much sam means to him, like you can be critical as a fan (and often rightly so) without diminishing the fact that dean does care immensely about him. even when he's pissed at him, even when he is critical of him. underneath it all he still cares. he can't help it. same with cas or any other character important to him (like even john, yes). like dean literally cares so much, has so much love in his heart. it's a defining feature. he is motivated by caring! he's almost always making those heart choices! to diminish that in any way imo is to not understand dean at all.

[aturnoftheearth]

like the idea of a supernatural revival or whatever because any of the following outcomes would be a win, either to further my bitterness or bring me peace:

a. likely: they cut cas out completely, forever cementing him as the worst treated character of team free will (don’t bother with any more polls), and this inevitably leads to some funny tweets/posts about how jensen ackles didn’t want to leave cas out !!!! he actually wanted them to gay kiss on tv !!! but Big CW shut him down again >:( even if they’re not on the CW anymore. hashtag they silenced him.

or

b. more likely: they bring cas back but don’t mention destiel at all. misha collins says for $500 USD he’ll get on cameo and give his own headcanon. fans of him fund it in 20 minutes. it’s 37 seconds long and awful and shallow and he says “dean tells cass to ‘get out of his ass’ again” while winking very explicitly and end recording. insert scenario a for the jackles thing here.

or

c. most likely: cas back, love confession addressed. cas is like “dean i assure you that, above all, i value our friendship.” dean politely says “hey man, you’re my best buddy, and i really appreciate you. you know that, right? alright good talk.” and claps his shoulder on his way out of the frame, leaving cas with the sad yet contemplative look. okay that’s all no more addressing anything UNLESS it’s a multi-episode thing, in which case they include some sort of bait. a potentially longing look-back from dean, a disappointed? resigned? look from him after walking away, etc.

and bonus least-likely but best possible scenario:

d. destiel canon. old mutuals return. content creation  renaissance. this website becomes inhabitable. another 3 years of lovesickness on ye.

[spnfanficpond]

June 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @autisticandroids

The Horror of No Detrimental Redaction by sp8ce (AO3)

Really top tier whump that is also a super attentive cas character study which is also willing to sit with him in a really uncomfortable space

The Trapdoor by hal_incandenza (AO3)

it's an epic rewrite of dabb era with a level of attention to detail that i've rarely seen in any fiction. the metatextual elements are carefully woven in and the character beats feel real. plus, it's an almost episode by episode rewrite and the new monster of the week casefic elements are fresh and fun. also it answers the question what if apocalypse world was good.

finer things by @explainslowly

i think it's maybe the ultimate pinnacle of the deancas triangulation of desire genre. when dean and cas have weird sex via a woman... one of my favorite things. and this is my favorite iteration.

By Your Hand by @restlesshush

this is my favorite relitigation of moriah that i've ever encountered. cas is so crazy in it. you can kind of feel that things will eventually work out without that coming off as cheap. it's perfect

~*~*~

Nominated by @candygrammes

LIMBO by entselene (AO3)

It's the creepiest. angstiest, scariest story I've read this year. Sam wakes up in Sioux Falls Hospital horribly injured, with no idea what happened. Not only that, but Dean is nowhere to be seen. Why? Has Dean abandoned him?

Nominated by @charliethealpaccaso

Strange Encounters by deanandsam (Ao3)

I loved the idea that there are dog versions of dean and sam along side the main sam and dean that I found it cute but also opened up a whole side story I wish there was more of.

Dogs Don't Pay Taxes by Zetal (Rodinia) (AO3)

There oddly is a huge lack of dog!sam fics on A03 that I love to try and spread the word of the ones that are out there. This one was cute both prompt wise and just made my day when I came across it

Faithful Companion by brokenlittleboy (AO3)

What if during season two Sam developed a whole new issue with his psychic powers and turned himself into a dog then this is the fic for you. Dean does mess around with him in this fic but I think it was a fun and interesting read for the concept

~*~*~

Nominated by @glygriffe

Why’s every song is about love (or drinking too much) by @quietwings-fics

They didn't give us enough Sam and Castiel scenes in the show. Here's a bitter-sweet one between the two of them, talking about Dean and the whole 'unrequited love' thing. A ficlet the gives a Destiel fan just the right amount of heavy heart.

It’s the Stars that Lie by @seperis

Ok, this fic doesn't need recommandations, but it's still needs public praises. To fully appreciate it, you need to read the fever dream that is Map of the World first, but I love how the author builds on the glimpses that the episode The End gave of the apocalypse!world. The OCs are interesting (and many of them are POC), and the lovely slow burn between Dean and Castiel is spiced up with the fake boyfriends trope.

Since I've Been Loving You - Remaster by tgel210 (AO3)

I like Castiel's first-person POV, Dean being a musician without being a rock star: it feels close to home like my next-door neighbor is talking to me about the love of his life.

Closer than they appear by sunkenfox (AO3)

Dean and Castiel figuring out what their life could be together by looking at Misha and Jensen is interesting. Even more interesting is the concept that like it or not, the Supernatural characters would not exist in their world without the writers and the actors in an other world. That Dean and Jenses share more than a face; same for Misha and Castiel (even if the difference are more obvious between the last two). A story of discorvery on a meta level, hiding inside a cute Destiel and RPF romance.

he feels no control of his body by withthekeyisking (AO3)

A wonderful but sad exploration of Sam Winchester throughout his life; from his lack of bodily autonomy to his dying faith in god(s) and humanity. With just enough brotherly love to leave the reader aching from loss and something like betrayal. (I love Dean, but he his a royal dick to his brother sometimes)

~*~*~

Nominated by @handsliketruth

evergreen endless by @whiskeyjuniper

A glimpse of endverse!Dean and Castiel during the earliest days of The End, via Chuck (prophet? god? something in-between?) as he continues to chart their story...and struggles to keep them from their inevitable collision despite their wildly infuriating pattern of falling into it... (full disclosure, this one was a gift for me, but I would rec this anyway 💛 dark, spicy, funny, clever meta fun)

But I Ain't Dead Yet by @bloodydeanwinchester

I cannot wait to see how this one plays out! Clever and charming with a fun hook: what if s4 Dean and Cas time-traveled back to 1x12 Faith to save Layla? (I would read a million words of Dean watching faith!Dean and Castiel get along 😂)

~*~*~

Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel

Bad Day Love by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

it's a cute pick-me-up story with one of my favorite ships. I really like how Arthur is so soft with Dean here.

Bedtime Routine by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

It's another rareship of mine andI love how they care for each other here and take care of Emma.

The Fool's Journey by @ladyknightskye

I know I was the artist for this story but - what Meg wrote for my art is awesome and it features one of my favorite characters - Gadreel. The journey he has in this fic is extremely important

~*~*~

Nominated by @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

Presence by @ani-coolgirl

This story broke my heart in the absolute most beautiful way. It's sad and sweet and doomed and it haunts me still.

~*~*~

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Stitches by @kittenofdoomage

Its cute! I like it!

Sweet Little Lies by @impala-dreamer

I like how funny it was despite all the angst!!

~*~*~

Nominated by @masoena

Nothing Ever Really Ends by @nyxocity

Beautiful heaven fic with Sam and Dean, bring tissues, post S15E20

In Silence Sealed by @fiercelynormal

Dean loses his hearing but starts talking his thoughts out loud beautifully written Smitty short

Love, Your Brother by @eninkahootz

Sam and Dean communicating by letters btw heaven and earth post-series. Work in progress and so well written

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Cretaceous by tiamatv (AO3)

This is a cute, fluffy romp through Jurassic Park as a Destiel fic! You don't have to love dinos to love this fic, but I imagine it would make it even better. If you're looking for something sweet and light to read before bed, this is the bedtime story for you!

~*~*~

Nominated by @rainythursdaynight

Clean Air by @anactorya

I read this story when I was maybe 16 and re-read it twice or three times in the year after. That being said, I can remember it almost excruciatingly well. I'm a post-apocalypse gal and I crave anything in that genre, so it was doubtless that I'd love this story. But the world-building done in this story? The characterization? The tension it manages to build? It's so gripping and exciting and I remember reading it worried out of my mind for the characters and exhaling the deepest breath as the story drew to a close. It's a not too dense read and an enveloping one, you'll forget you're above ground by the end of it!

Empty Spaces by @schmerzerling

This story made me fall in love with writing again. It's so heavy with how it distributes emotion in its words, but also so soothing too. This reads like watching a glass vase get tipped over the edge of a table and, maybe distantly, wondering if someone will catch it in time. But it doesn't quite matter because the flowers are beautiful and if you're crying then it's about the flowers and not the vase. I highly recommend this story to everyone, heavy as its contents may be. I felt safe reading this, I ached, I adore this story beyond words can capture.

Phantasma! by @thisisapaige

I very rarely read things that are horror inclined (funny as that is given the nature of Spn), and maybe this story is not considered horror either, but it left me just on that edge of eerie and it was exhilarating. Most of the story is sweet, and cathartic, as Dean rebuilds his life outside of his family and finds that in Castiel. But the mystery of it all, the unknown, it left me waiting for the other shoe to drop and this writer was excellent at making that payoff worth it.

The Art of Falling by @zipegs

This story was gritty and ugly and didn't pull back punches when it came to its emotional weight. Recovery is a nightmarish process of relapse and pain and relief and this story embodied this with its characters beautifully. This story was lonely, in the sense that its only two characters yes but it also felt a lot like reading about two characters pitted against the backdrop of everything. The world, the universe, existence. It made me feel small but so vast at the same time, and it was so utterly human (funny given the context of the story). It's a short and beautiful read that left me aching but in a way that was comforting as opposed to alienating.

With The End Came You by @lotrspnfangirl

I adore zombie apoclaypse AUs but so few of them focus on the characters' growth alongside the events of the series. And so few of them do side characters justice. This story was THE exception. Not only does the progression of the characters not sideline the plot and vice versa, but the story handles people so so well. You have those that stick around for long, and those that don't, and it treats both parties so faithfully that I'm left emotional over side characters I've only had a page worth of content with as much as the main characters I'm with the entire time. This is a zombie apocalypse AU that puts people first and foremost, and its so human and such a rewarding story to those that have even the smallest interest in these types of AUs. And the progression of the plot is so smooth and natural, TWD could never (and I love that show so take with that as you will).

~*~*~

Nominated by @samanddean76

Dark As Midnight (And You Don’t Look The Same) by @kassyscarlett

This is a story that follows a young Dean (17 years-old) out looking for a good time and running into an older man that gives what he wants. Not realizing he knows him, that he is in fact his Sammy. This story is so good! Time-travel, the follies of youth, needing to be protected from yourself, and realizing years later what that random encounter really was. It is part of a series, but works as a stand alone. But the entire series is worth checking out.

Coming Out Of The Dark by firesign10 (AO3)

It's a story about others helping one they know is broken, giving him what he needs so he can move on and live the rest of his life. The Richesters visit Sam in the bunker after Dean's death, and give him one final night together, so that he might carry on. It tragic and beautiful and has all the feels. Highly recommend.

~*~*~

Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Interspecies Romance and Its Associated Perils by suspiciousflashlight (AO3)

I have read this story many, many times. It’s adorable and hilarious. It’s cute and awkward in a way that someone who isn’t sure how to tell about a weird scar or birthmark is. The ending is the best part of the entire thing.

A Helping Hand and Thrilling Touches by mydestielbabies_67 (AO3)

I don’t normally nominate smut but this was just amazing. It was beautiful, and what and intense.

The Cherry Pie Club by zation (AO3)

This is a work in progress. It’s great! Zariah is such a great writer in so many genres. This one is about Dean exploring bdsm for the first time and ends up also realizing things about himself too. Poor Dean learns the hard way that it is Cas he loves about bdsm but still. Their connection and energy with each other is felt as you read. Highly recommend reading!

Absolute Beginners by @ahurston

Chapter 5 made me scream then go feral and foam at the mouth.

Dancing moves by faithlesshunter (AO3)

I am not normally one to read infidelity fics; however, this is destiel. It’s the holidays and Cas and Dean get left alone to reconnect. They tried to be a couple at the beginning once Cas came back from the Empty but they weren’t ready for it. Now, years later and they are! The confessions and the hot smut is just so exacting for them. It’s gorgeous! Dean has always loved Cas and Cas still loves Dean. Oh, I’d love to see how it works out but this reconnection is just purely intense and the dopamine is addictive. Good luck. MUST READ!

The Case of Dean and Castiel's Extremely Resolvable Tension by CanonFodder (Tartan_Temptation) (AO3)

This is hilarious and hot AF! It starts out explaining the premise and drives right into it where Dean finally gives in. He is so happy he does too. He gets a wonderfully deserving reward. Poor Sam and his need for eye bleach. Lol!

Objects May Appear Smaller by @valandrawrites

The instant connection of Cas and Dean, and the science of this story makes this a one-of-a-kind a/b/o. Despite it being incomplete, it’s such a fluffy and fascinating read. It keeps you wanting more with every one of the six chapters. I hope one day they get inspired to write more.

Sentinel by Followsthebees (AO3)

I love this story. I love that it’s a different take on Castiel—he’s a gargoyle. It’s such a fascinating story and their connect is seen by the readers but not Dean. It’s interesting how Dean starts to notice and how intense and romantic it gets. Sex and flying are fascinating, man. This is written oh so well!

Three's Company by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Cas x f!Reader that becomes Cas x f!reader x Dean. It shows a very healthy ethical non-monogamy relationship. I love how the Reader initially freaks, I think, and when Cas and them come to talk to Dean, he freaks too. Everyone is patient with each other though. It’s as it should be when introducing polyamory to non-poly experience people. It’s so sweet and wonderful to read. It’s adorable. This is how poly fics should be.

Ketch and Release by NichePastiche (AO3)

Oh, the fluff and growth! I love this series so so so so much! I always get excited when I see they wrote more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Nominated by @spnbabe67

Finish What You Started by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

I love the tension that melts into silly goofiness.

Spin Cycle by @winchester-girl67

I usually don't do a lot of fluff but I loved the way the writer did this one.

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Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Take A Shot by @rizlowwritessortof

It's just so sexy and Dean. Guh.

Rest by @zepskies

It's swoony and cozy and melancholy, and I love that for us.

The Iceman Cometh by @talltalesandbedtimestories

Ice play is one of my favorite things. Pair that with Dean Winchester, written by Sandra, and, well, you've got a winner.

Damned If I Do by @zepskies

I liked Lisa and Ben, and this is a very satisfying way to show that!

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Nominated by @whiskeyjuniper

Truth & Despair by @shallowseeker

It's so compelling, every time a new chapter is posted I'm so excited to see what happens next. Also it's Shal's first fic and they're almost done with it so I wanted to celebrate it :)

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!