#bitter godstiel fan

[vaicomcas]

Closure, I guess

Two of my post S7e1 Meet the New Boss AU fics were completed in 2024.

The Earth Still Rises (62696 words) by FlounderofThursday Chapters: 30/30 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Castiel & Crowley (Supernatural) Summary: The truth behind s7e1 “Meet the New Boss”. What really happened after Castiel took on the Purgatory souls, and declared himself the new God; alternate storyline from there. CW: Not Winchesters friendly. Some chapters feature violence, torture, blood and gore.

One Year On Earth (32029 words) by FlounderofThursday Chapters: 15/15 Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Castiel & Crowley (Supernatural) Series: Part 2 of The Earth Still Rises/Post S7e1 AU Summary: In a relatively peaceful post-godstiel world, Castiel and Crowley made a pact to remain friends for a year despite their different interests.

With DIY illustrations

I'm not much of a shipper in the conventional sense, so the fics are not tagged with "/" only "&". Just my own very dry version of "earnest crowstiel", where Castiel and Crowley are fascinated by each other, respect, support and care about each other despite their differences. Wow, it sounds so unbelievably boring when I say it out loud. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[hawkland]

My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies:  Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out. 

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley.  It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet. 

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind. 

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable. 

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell. 

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

[heteroflexiblecastiel]

7,8,9,12 plsssssss <3<3 for desty ask thing

7. Bloodfreak, Closest Thing We Have to a Witch, or Lawboy Sammy?

WITCH SAM WITCH SAM WITCH SAM. have a huge soft spot for bloodfreak sammy but i really truly am SO bitter that he didn't become a full fledged witch by the end he deserved it

8. Favorite Cas (ex. Casifer, endverse, honey, etc)?

i will forever love godstiel the very most. followed closely by dadstiel and scoobynatural cas which are tied. then probably casifer. endverse cas makes me sad but i still love him. honey cas is very endearing but i can't watch his eps very much cuz dean is like a turbobitch and it makes me mad

9. Favorite Dean (ex. demon!Dean, Michael!Dean, etc)?

demon dean for the hilarity of his Hot Girl Summer uninhibited by humanity and ethics just being...... bad karaoke in a bar in the middle of nowhere and group sex with CROWLEY. like he literally doesn't even know how to have a good time even when he HAS NO CONSCIENCE.

also s1 dean is the love of my life

12. Opinion on Adam, the forgotten third brother?

the winchesters complete failure to do anything to save him from eternal torment is like such a stain on their characters if you like think about it for even a second, and the fact that they like straight up admitted it and then "moved on" in 10.05 fan fiction is insane. like ur just gonna.... are we like.... like is something. hey?? HEY???? YOU ADMITTED YOU KNOW????? YOU REMINDED THE MAIN CHARACTERS???????? like in the context of supernatural i honestly wouldn't have cared or bitched too bad if everyone involved in making the show had just pretended not to remember. but the fact that they acknowledged the fandom in-joke about adam.. and then did nothing more with it for 5 years....... way to paint ur own characters as like literal complete selfish assholes for no reason other than to like wink at the fans for a moment

also i think it was very lame and cringe of them to kill adam and make michael double cross the winchesters.

[vaicomcas]

I heard this song "Hope in the Air" by Laura Marling, and I ignore that it's about King Lear and it is now my Godstiel /TMWWBK theme song. Replace "daughter" with "angel", if needed.

(select verses)

No hope in the air, No hope in the water, Not even for me, Your last serving daughter But I can't give up that quick My life is a candle and a wick You can put it out but you can't break it down In the end, we are waiting to be lit A friend is a friend forever, And a good one will never leave, never But you're never been south from what rolls off your mouth You will never understand, ever Pick up your rope, Lord, sling it to me If we are to battle, I must not be weak And give us your strength, World, and your food and your water Oh I am your saviour, your last serving daughter There's hope in the air There's hope in the water But no hope for me your last serving daughter

[vaicomcas]

Bitter Godstiel Fan: my index

Intro

I am an earnest, all-in, no-reservations Godstiel stan. No "hubris". No "Macbeth". No "overreach". No "war criminal". All of that, to me, was the show's slander and gaslighting.

s7e1, meet the new boss

DEATH: Stupid little soldier you are. CASTIEL: Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place. DEATH: Service? Settling petty vendettas? CASTIEL: No. I'm cleaning up one mess after another -- selflessly. ... DEATH: Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas. I know God, and you, sir, are no God.

At the time, "declaring himself God" was designed to demonstrate that Castiel went off the deep end and was drunk on ego.

Reminder: SPN God is Chuck and is an evil petty lying manipulator who doomed the world all along.

"I'm cleaning up one mess after another."

His mannerism may seem deranged, and who knows what strain, what burden he was shouldering? But at the end of the day, Godstiel was exactly who he said he was. He did a service, and tried to undo Chuck's evil plots for the world.

Index of my Godstiel posts (with a side of crowstiel)

I consider "Godstiel arc" to be from "TMWWBK" to "Meet the New Boss"

Grievances and HCs

In defense of Godstiel

Godstiel's choice

"Kill him, now!"

Worse than "Kill him, now!"

Death's slip-up

"I'm saying don't do it just because I ask you to"

The wall nobody cared about

Godstiel 2.0 AU (not exactly about godstiel arc but inspired)

My Godstiel related fics

A Hellhound at Dawn

The Earth Still Rises (and its sequel)

However bitter godstiel arc makes me, it comes with some amazing albeit heart-breaking crowstiel content.

Crowstiel of the Godstiel arc

Trouble Ahead, Trouble Behind (fan art)

Why I love 7x01 crowstiel trailer scene

Little things about 7x01 trailer scene

Godstiel's secret little nod to Crowley

The curtain in Crowley's trailer in 7x01

And finally, I am not immune to the beauty of Godstiel.

Godstiel screencaps (here, here, here. here)

I also started an index of famous bitter Cas fan posts that include those defending godstiel and season 6 Castiel

[vaicomcas]

Housekeeping post

About

I am a "bitter Cas girl" as they say (I resisted this label for a long time because I am old and don't like to call myself a girl but I can't find a better label). The Dean-critical kind. Disliker of the Winchesters in general.

Castiel is the only fictional character I have ever cared about. Castiel is incomparably amazing and heroic and intelligent and BAMF and knowledgeable and the show did everything it could to take it away from him just to prop up the glory of the Winchesters. Even the kindness and the caring that they let him keep was in service of the same goal. I started the blog because I just couldn't stand it.

I do not ship in general (but can enjoy it in small doses), but because I hate how Dean treated Castiel I especially do not enjoy that ship. However, Castiel being in unrequited love with Dean is important to me a fact but no longer important to me. I know, it's an awkward position to be in.

I may come across as bitter and joyless. I know of course my perspective is just that, no amount of foaming at the mouth will make it more righteous than anybody else's. But when it comes to Castiel I do not try to be fair and balanced. I encourage you to block me if you find my opinions upsetting.

Links to my index posts, fics etc below the cut.

Ongoing interests (reference for myself)

Castiel Sapta and Crowley Sapta (celebrating as aspect of Castiel or Crowley every day of the week)

Index posts:

My Castiel Manifesto series (my opinion about various narratives regarding Castiel)

Justice for Castiel series (my catalog of bitter Cas girl grievances typically centered around a specific scene)

Bitter Godstiel fan series

collection of classics such as endiness posts

Index of Crowstiel parallels

My Fics

Unbroken (alternate season 15 after episode 3)

Heart of a hellhoud (castiel and hellhound Juliet and Jack in a post Season 12 AU, later Crowley)

The Miracle (a bitter cas girl vent ficlet, very anti-Dean)

The Confession (another bitter cas girl vent ficlet that rewrites 15x18)

The Opposite of Happiness (One more 15x18 rewrite)

A hellhound at dawn (snapshots of Castiel, Juliet, Crowley moments in Season 6 universe, for Juliet Appreciation Week)

The Earth Still Rises (crowstiel on the moon, aka justice for godstiel)

and part 2 of the above, One Year On Earth

My HCs and AUs

Don't believe Naomi (hc of what really happened when Cas was extracted from Purgatory)

Godstiel 2.0 (hc alternate ending for Moriah)

Seven milliseconds (AU behind A little slice of Kevin standoff scene)

Baby Tanya the Nephilim (AU where Cas, Crowley and Nora were coparents of Baby Tanya who is a Nephilim)

Heaven for animals and plants (hc)

Castiel was resurrected by gods of the world (hc)

Crowstiel birds AU

Crowstielnatural

The other civil war (hc)

Second Rebellion (hc)

The garrison and garrison as physical space (hc)

Winchesters as ICE agents AU

What Castiel sees (hc, angel umwelt)