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funky-gobbo-art · 1 year ago

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Donolinc/Cringe!AU pt. 3

Trans!John headcanon post HERE

Cringe!AU pt. 1 HERE

Cringe!AU pt. 2 HERE

Once again I'll give the same CW as the last post: if you don't wanna see any references to trans male pregnancy please blacklist the terms "mpreg" and "tmpreg", similar content to whats in Mafia 3 normally like violence, bigotry of the 1960's, war, etc.

General disclaimer: I'm still not good at drawing babies/young children and I'm not much of a writer personally so sorry if things are clunky.

John got home sometime around mid-November, laying low and skipping around the states altering his appearance a bit until he felt the heat died down enough he could return to Louisiana with no issues. Once he got home he was greeted by a very intense Lincoln alone at Sammy's while Dani was at Nicki's being watched. Lincoln was feeling a lot of stuff at once, like anger, but also just holding back emotions a bit, hiding at first that he was happy to see John coming through the door.

Obviously things got pretty intense emotionally a bit after John got into the house, but things cooled down (or heated up lol) and Lincoln immediately started teasing him for his more "messy" appearance, said he looked like a hippie.

Adjusting back home was pretty comforting for a bit, John's happy he can just stay inside, catch up with Dani and be lazy. Already he was naturally anti-social so staying in wasn't that much of an issue, just watching T.V and most he does is if Lincoln needs his help on something work related.

Wasn't too long until John started feeling sick again, waking up early to run to the bathroom, or accidentally throwing up at the worst times. He immediately had a "oh this better not be what I think it is again" and after a visit to Lincoln's personal doctor, yep, it was exactly what he thought it was.

Despite appearing angry, he was more annoyed and just wanted to give Lincoln a hard time. They were both fine with this because John's going to be more a homebody now and Lincoln can support them all. Dani, despite being 2, seemed pretty happy with the news, she kept saying "baby!" after being told.

John definitely wants to get serious about finally getting a hysterectomy after this kid though. Still kicking himself for not getting one earlier but oh well. Like the last pregnancy he was moody and wasn't allowed to smoke or drink, fell back into annoying Lincoln by popping gum around him constantly.

Rhys Clay was born August 10th 1972, Lincoln Clay and John Donovan his parents and Danielle Clay his older sister. Not named after anyone again but both parents were looking over names and just got attached to that one. Once again the baby was delivered at home with the same doctor as last time, only difference is that Dani could meet her new little brother as soon as they were able to.

Lincoln was very happy being a father of 2 now, though it was dawning on him that he needs an actual house for them now, but he has some time before both kids are big enough to get their own rooms. John feels a little weird knowing he's technically had 3 kids already but gets serious about getting a hysterectomy a bit after going back to normal after Rhys is born. Both John and Lincoln have to settle with a story now to tell people especially if John is seen walking around with both kids. Lincoln finally comes out about it all to the other 2 underbosses (since Nicki already knows), he's a father of 2 and the other parent is a trans man who happens to be the gangs advisor that's been working from the shadows ever since the beginning.

Vito and Cassandra don't take too kindly knowing that their bosses advisor is a now ex-C.I.A agent, and it does break out into a big argument between the underbosses, Lincoln and Donovan. Lincoln being so used to this now, he was able to get the argument under control by telling John to keep his mouth shut and telling the other 2 if he wasn't trustworthy, then why on earth would he willingly raise 2 children with him? It seems to work.

Some time passes: Dani starts school, shows a bit of an artistic streak while also showing signs of being very stubborn when she feels like it. Rhys shows signs of being autistic and is nonverbal until he's nearly 4 years old. The Clay Crime Family starts doing some good for the local area, renovating and building places, but also expanding their operations. Lincoln is basically untouchable now, which means his family is safe and sound as long as their around him.

John still goes around the city with both kids and visiting Robert, but can't seem to stop Robert from making snarky comments about both him and his kids, meanwhile Father James notices a lot of similarities between Rhys and Lincoln from back when he first came into the orphanage. Both very quiet boys but different circumstances.

Donovan takes a good break from his "side project", he's letting the heat die down since the whole senate hearing incident and he wants those folks he sent that message out for to get a false sense of security and think nothing more is going to happen, but John is planning on striking when they least expect it. He's not going to act for awhile though, doesn't wanna miss any birthdays and still be present during the kid's childhoods, also Rhys still needs a lot of attention.

Dani and Rhys are very close, and Dani always tries to get him involved with games she plays, Rhys is pretty quiet still and shy around new people but does start talking more to his family and other adults that come around, mostly Father James or Nicki Burke.

Rhys is the last kid and John tells Lincoln if he wants more, he can just figure that all out himself.

Both kids are still in development, character wise. I have some thoughts about Dani in her teen years, like going on with her friends a lot, as for Rhys, I'm still wondering what personality he has, though I see him getting into puzzles a lot. I'm open to any thoughts honestly, writing kids isn't really a strength for me and these are my first fan kid oc's for a piece of media I like.

But yeah, that's my cringe au! Been cooking it for awhile and finally got the guts to release it to the wild, like I said previously.

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complexhaystack · 8 months ago

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Mixed feelings about Damsel. Kind of clunky writing at the start and the very end, with also not much real character development for the characters throughout. But the action parts of the story were quite fun with some surprising bits (the birds were quite a good take). While the protagonist is indeed skilled, she is also very lucky (how does she not cut herself in the slightest going up and falling down the crystal wall). A bit of a waste of Angela Basset. I liked the juxtaposition of what the dragon became vs what she had set out to destroy. MBB's acting is alright, average here. The character is really noisy in a place of danger (aside from understandable screams of pain, she's also randomly talking aloud to herself and can't keep her vocalisations at bay when she sees something shocking). Why did the dressing ladies hand her a knife and lantern material to begin with (maybe those were not their original intents)? I liked the prince's regret and acceptance of his fate. I'm sad for the horse that burnt as a decoy. The cultish feel was quite well done but never really repeated in theme thereafter. Some of the protagonist's plans were pretty clever. The glow worms were a cop out. They did succeed in making the dragon seem scary and formidable, at least initially. Sad for the other girls who could well have been the protagonist too, but didn't luck out. Also how many daughters does the dragon think the royals produce on a yearly basis?

So mixed!! It's almost like the writer(s) do action/horror well but then gets cheesy with fantasy and the other bits. Anw, still an enjoyable watch for the most part haha!!

#damsel netflix #spoilers

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autisticcassandracain · 1 year ago

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Finally read Tales of the Titans #1! Conclusion: it was decent. Overall, I think a lot of the character angles and ideas brought up in this issue have the potential to be interesting, but were underdeveloped and not utilized to their full potential, in no small part due to some clunky prose. But there were some good showcases of Kori’s character, and it did feel like the writers genuinely cared about her character.

Most of this is under the cut but tl;dr: too much tell don’t show with awkward, unnatural dialogue, some character angles that are new for me but perhaps established in post-flashpoint canon, some character moments stood out as grasping her character very well, I liked the set-up for a potential Kori and Babs friendship, and I enjoyed the Donna and Kori friendship moment at the end.

The biggest issue I had with it was how incredibly focused it was on telling me things rather than showing it. The vast majority of dialogue was extremely unnatural and the narration boxes were usually more annoying than helpful. Everyone talked as if they were performing a play where they needed to summarize everything. Every other dialogue bubble was some sort of variation on “Wow Kory, you’re emotional!”, “Wow Princess, you’re such a princess!”, “I’m not a princess,” and “I’m struggling with my emotional nature.” The narration boxes then reinforced what was already being spelled out in the most blatantly obvious way in dialogue. It was obnoxious and prevented me from enjoying this issue more than a little bit. Granted, the 80s comics also did this, but that was the 80s; comic styles were different. And even in the 80s, I really don’t think it was this bad.

Aside from that, it was a simple low-stakes character study, which is pretty in-keeping with the Tales of the Titans idea, and fine by me. I have difficulty judging it because I haven’t kept up with Kori’s character since the N52, mostly because the majority of it has been Pretty Bad and I try not to make a habit out of reading comics I don’t like. I’m uncertain what parts of this comic are new character angles and which parts are reiterating already established character aspects. So I’ll just talk about the things that stood out to me, and forgive me if I’m pointing out things that have long since been post-flashpoint canon; I wouldn’t know.

Probably the thing that stood out to me the most was that, at least in this comic, Kori was abnormally emotional even by Tamaranean standards. The Tamaraneans we saw didn’t seem to be that different from humans in regards to their emotions, which was different. It was stated that the Psions’ experiments heightened Koriand’r’s sensitivity as well as her power, and this is an explanation for why she’s so emotional when other Tamaraneans aren’t. I’m unsure if this is N52 canon, or a new character angle; either way, it’s very different from what I’m used to, though I don’t necessarily hate it. I think the idea of the Psions’ experiments heightening Kori’s emotions could be interesting if executed well; this comic didn’t really show much of what I would be looking for, but I feel like there’s potential to be built on here.

That said, I do wonder what the implications here are for Tamaranean culture, since intense emotions/emotional freedom really was one of the cornerstones of Tamareanan worldbuilding, and removing that seems... ill advised. Perhaps the intent was that Tamaran’s freedom of emotions still exists, but Koriand’r is extreme even by their standards? If so, I don’t feel like that was shown. As I said, the Tamaranean lunar colony mostly seemed to have a fairly human view on emotions.

Again, perhaps I’m paying too much attention to something that’s been long since established and explored in other comics, but it’s new to me and has some very far-reaching implications.

Putting that aside, I feel like the premise for this issue had potential, but that it was kinda squandered, honestly. Koriand’r rejecting her role as princess is interesting, and makes sense as a grief reaction; I feel like it should’ve clashed far more with the Tamaranean lunar colony. Like, if my planet was destroyed, and I was one of the few survivors trying to rebuild on a moon and continue my culture, and then my princess, who I clearly adore, showed up and plainly said that she can’t be a princess if the kingdom is dead, that’d be more than a little bit insulting to me. Tamaran’s still here, even if the planet isn’t. I feel like the lack of conflict regarding this was both unrealistic and hurt the story overall, especially since the dialogue of many of the lunar Tamaraneans but especially Taro ended up reflecting the writers’ thoughts and opinions more than what I’d say would be logical for the characters. Which loops back to my first point: too much tell don’t show, unnatural dialogue, etc.

Likewise, I like the idea of a pair of Tamaranean sisters paralleling Koriand’r and Komand’r, with wildly different results, but it was simply underdeveloped and incredibly surface level, lacking in any real emotional depth or detail. It was hard to take it serious or get invested in it, as a result.

Most of the rest of the story revolved around Koriand’r saving space goats, which was cute but not particularly interesting, and Koriand’r’s low-level tension with the team, which was a little more interesting, but lacked depth.

That said, I do feel as if the writers genuinely cared about Koriand’r’s character, and there were certain parts of this issue I felt were pretty good illustrations of it. One of the few times I felt like the narration boxes really added something was when Koriand’r started fighting the Big Tentacles(TM); I really appreciated the characterization shown here, with Kori reflecting on how the interplay of her strong emotions makes her stronger. I liked this page in particular:

[Image: page showing Koriand’r fighting giant green alient tentacles with yellow spots, her narration saying: “Here’s the truth -- I love the action. I thrive on setbacks. I delight in victory! It’s my game. And I enjoy winning. It’s also my life. The one I made. The one I earned. I love it utterly and passionately -- and the feeling of that love is as big as a supernova exploding inside me.” End description.]

Like, congratulations, you’ve boiled Kori down to her bare essentials! It showcased a solid understanding of her character and I really appreciated it.

I also liked this short exchange:

[Image: panel showing Koriand’r, carrying a large heavy stone, talking to Ranat’am. Koriand’r: “I protect those I love.” Ranat’am: “I suspect they are many.” End description.]

Which was one of the few times I feel like the comic’s dialogue style worked in its favor, and was once again a good showcase of Kori’s character.

I also appreciated the foundations laid for a potential friendship between Koriand’r and Barbara, which, after decades of misogyny-enforced catfighting between them, was a breath of fresh air. I’m glad they didn’t spend ages on Koriand’r’s past relationship with Dick and her musing over it, which is the bane of my existence in Kori appearances. I liked Kori and Babs’ dynamic in this comic, and the ‘dance party’ thing was cute, even if it was also more than a little corny. Shame that Koriand’r and Barbara friendship development is happening now, when Babs’ character is Like That(TM), but since she didn’t show up in person in this particular issue and the one panel in which she was shown full-body was of a flashback with her in her wheelchair, I feel like the authors and artist did their best with the canon they had to work with. Perhaps I’m wrong and they’re wildly ableist somewhere else, but judging purely on this issue, this was probably the best they could’ve done considering circumstances.

Also, Donna and Kori’s scene together was pretty great. The dialogue issues bothered me much less in it, since it makes sense that the concluding scene of the issue would do some explicit spelling-out, and a lot of the spelling-out was genuinely new information we couldn’t have gotten otherwise. Kori and Donna’s interactions felt natural, and the atmosphere of the clouds and space backgrounds created a very nice, mellow atmosphere. I do feel like they did great on that.

That’s pretty much all of my thoughts, I think, aside from a super tiny nitpick: I always think it’s really weird whenever modern Kori art does that thing where they draw her with straight/wavy hair, but have her flashbacks in traditional NTT hair. I understand that it’s a respect-for-the-past thing and not intended to be taken literally but I’m autistic and I can’t help it, it’s clinical. Where did all the texture go? Did she find a straightener for hair that periodically sets itself on fire? Just give her her curls back already I don’t care about modern beauty standards, she looks better with them!

Overall, it feel like Koriand’r’s overall characterization is on the upswing as of late, which is good. I wouldn’t say it’s reaching NTT levels of complexity, but then, I didn’t feel like most pre-flashpoint canon reached that, either. (Not that NTT was perfect either, far from it, there were many misogyny-fueled writing decisions I am not a fan of, but I still feel like it did a far better job showcasing the balance between her anger and her love and how they feed into each other than any other comic since.) I do feel like there’s an increased focus on her loving, softer side, which is a little sad to me, but as long as they don’t go full Starfire solo on it, I don’t think it’s inherently bad. I don’t feel the need to outright embargo my reading of her anymore, so that’s a step up from a few years back, at least.

(I’m not reading Taylor’s Titans for a variety of reasons and considering his past comments regarding supposed dickkory shipper conspiracies and his comments regarding the ship in general I don’t trust him with her, but I haven’t heard any extreme second-hand outrage yet, so I hope it passes a baseline bar of ‘inoffensive’, and doesn’t sabotage the trend.)

#koriand'r #my posts #infodumping #tl;dr i'm overall fairly positive but it wasn't anything terribly special #and god almighty can comic book writers learn the art of show don't tell already?

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ivarthebadbitch · 2 years ago

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what did you think about Valhalla S2, if you finished it?

ok, I can finally answer this! here are some brief impressions for season 2:

as with season 1, the first few episodes felt noticeably weaker. I get the sense that the writers knew where they wanted to go, but struggled with how to get there. so the first two episodes in particular felt incohesive (verging on incoherent at some points, tbh--the leif/liv thing felt especially weird), the dialogue was clunky, things just were rough overall, as though it all needed another round of editing. from episodes 3-4 and onwards, it started to come together more and the pacing issues sorted themselves out, and by the end I was having a pretty good time.

there were some noteworthy areas of improvement over s1. namely, I liked that they put more time and energy into developing the newer female characters and gave them space to do more--mariam was the standout for me, but certainly there were others. I very much liked emma's storyline this season and her wrestling with the consequence of her choices. not to say that s1 neglected the female characters, but s1 really felt more dude-oriented. s2 put more of the spotlight on the women, and I appreciate that.

of the major plots, I think the constantinople road trip was the most enjoyable to watch, and generally made good use of a large number of new characters (kurya and mariam were my faves, rip). england was also fun if convoluted, but you know I'm an emma/godwin girl and I really had a kick out of watching their relationship develop/deteriorate this season.

the jomsborg plot felt like the weakest of the three. I get where the writers were going with this and the conclusion was fine, but it was all a little too...on the nose, I guess, and harekr was kind of weak sauce as villains go. like he was appropriately evil and whatever, but jarl kare from s1 had actual backstory and development and parallels with freydis that made him compelling. and harekr just, like, enjoyed being evil or something, but just didn’t have the juice to carry it through.

on to the more meta stuff now: I think vikings valhalla is a show that has not quite been able to find a satisfactory answer to the main question it poses, which is "who are the vikings" and/or "what does it mean to be a viking." compared to hirst's vikings, vikings valhalla places a lot of emphasis on the heterogeneity of the vikings--you have christian and pagan vikings, most obviously, but then you've got greenlanders and jomsvikings and english vikings and varangians and rus vikings and people distantly descended from vikings etc--which I think is really a neat area of focus, but I don't think vikings valhalla really knows what it wants to say about all this. vikings "reinvent themselves" is about as close as we get (thanks yaroslav), which, yeah ok...but it's a little reductive, isn't it? "the vikings are a land of contrasts." to be fair, these are difficult questions! I dunno, I just want it to push a little bit harder.

#vikings valhalla #vikings valhalla spoilers

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beauzos · 1 year ago

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okay well i watched the four episodes of Clone High season 2 that are currently out and i really don’t know, man.

i didn’t hate it. did i like it? not really. i’ll keep watchin’, though. i actually did laugh a decent amount watching it.

alright, here’s my problem with it. it really feels like they don’t know how to balance and use the characters properly. Cleo had fuckall to do till episode 4, Abe has fuckall to do in 2-4, and the newer characters generally don’t stand out enough to be that effective because there’s too many of them.

Harriet and Frida are too generic as characters to be that engaging, which is a shame because i think there’s potential there. Confucius feels like a Gandhi 2.0 but they don’t use him consistently enough, and he’s also a little too boring, though i do like him. Candide is alright, but also a little too boring. she’s very one note and i want to see more of her. i thought she’d potentially turned a corner with Scudworth in episode 3 (like at least warming up to him a bit) and then it doesn’t go anywhere lol. well, so far.

and granted, there’s only 4 episodes, but you can just feel the “we don’t have enough time to give any of these characters space” oozing from the writing. a lot of scenes are super short and don’t really go anywhere because it’s fighting to juggle the fucking 10 character cast, and that’s not even counting Cleo, because Cleo basically doesn’t exist till episode 4 like i said.

surprisingly the best new character is Christopher Columbus. he’s genuinely really funny and interesting so i know they can do great things with the new characters.

everybody feels vaguely out of character all the time, esp. Joan. she kinda feels like a hollow shell of her original self, and while the show does engage with her concerns about becoming somebody different with dating JFK, it also feels like it’s just unironically flattened her character down. she has no bite anymore, it sucks. she’s weirdly preppy, doesn’t actually stand for anything though they pay a lot of lip service to how much of an activist she used to be so. she’s just JFK’s gf now. i am very pro-JoanFK, though. if they put Joan with Abe at the end of this season i’ll stop watching fr

i fucking hated Abe in the original series. currently Abe is just extremely whatever because his one personality trait is being sad he can’t date Joan so in a way it’s a step up from being extremely unlikable. also he doesn’t even seem to remember Cleo exists anymore. you could do a lot more with the core cast by giving Abe and Cleo more character time as a contrast TO JoanFK as a ship, but they don’t seem interested in that.

JFK is pretty funny but i feel like he’s missing a lot of his snarkiness from the first season. like it rly does feel like the writers just took notes from how the fandom interpreted his character (they literally have Joan call him a himbo in one of the episodes!!!!!) and it doesn’t fully land. he’s also been flattened down to just “in love with Joan” and what a shame. i think their relationship potential was so great but it’s not rly It for me so far. and it’s weird because the show acknowledges its own issues with it, but then doesn’t do anything about it.

Scudworth and Mr. B aren’t anything to write home about so far. they were usually standouts and a funny contrast to the melodramatic teen bullshit that carried the show plots otherwise, but it’s not too great yet.

there is way too much blood and gore. like why did we do that. they used it more sparingly in season 1. it was there, but it was less in your face than in this season.

it’s just clunky. i think it could just be trying to pick up a show after 20 years while balancing the old and new characters. i think it has room to grow if the network gives it time to. like i don’t think it’s irredeemable by any means-- like i said, i actually think it’s decently funny and there’s a lot of good little moments. it’s just not fully there for me yet. maybe it’ll get better as the season goes on, idk.

i think the show looks fine. people keep bitching about the animation or whatever but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. it does its job. i do agree the new character designs are a little too over the top. you can smell the Total Drama coming off of their character designs. most of them just need some tweaking at most.

also i miss Gandhi but hey, it is what it is that they couldn’t include him.

i might go back and rewatch the original season. it’s just always so classic for me.

#Psy's no punctuation posts #i actually have a small pet theory they may bring Gandhi back in one of the last episodes of the season but that's wishful thinking mainly

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moonybadger · 2 years ago

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Tamora Pierce series thoughts (I listened to the audiobook versions of these, which I’ll also touch on a bit):

Lioness Quartet: A little dated and clunky in places, but it’s fascinating watching TP grapple with genderfluidity even without having the language for it that we do now. Like I know normally people don’t like it when a writer posthumously declares that a character is LGBT somehow, but Alanna being genderfluid is just such an important part of her character even without the modern words. Like way more then Dumbledore having a gay crush on Grindlewald or whatever his name was. The characters are all great in this one, though the plot is a little all over the place and has to make some weird leaps of logic (like wtf was up the Nameless Ones and the Old Ones, that was really weird). Mostly just first time author awkwardness, TP grows out of it pretty fast. The Bazhir tribes are toeing the line a little close to Dances With Wolves stuff, but I think just barely manages to not make it too White Saviorish. I mean it does a bit with Alanna and Jon, but it could have been worse for the time it came out. Also Roger is an incredibly boring antagonist, but TP gets a lot better with those too the more she writes!

The Immortal Quartet: Oof I dunno. This one’s always been more miss then hit with me and I’ve never really been able to articulate why? The progression of Daine’s control over her powers just always felt really slow, like in the third arc of Warriors where the main characters are apprentices for a billion years. For some reason Daine just never clicked with me and the huge age gap between her and Numair never helped. Like this age gap thing shows in almost every TP romance but it was definitely the most pronounced here. Even besides that... I dunno??? I’ve just always bounced off this one, and I don’t like that the audiobook is full cast. I do really love Emperor Mage though, that’s the one exception in this arc. I enjoy Ozorne a lot more as an antagonist over Roger, though he gets a little one note in The Realms of the Gods.

Me @ tamora piece and natsuki takyua: your books mean the entire world to me and basically formed my entire moral backbone but please stop putting giant age gaps in the romances of your characters

Protector of the Small: You have never done anything wrong in your entire life and I love you. Seriously I have absolutely no problems with this arc, besides the fact that I do think the confrontation with the Nothing Man at the end is kinda boring. And like, I get that it’s supposed to be but I do think there still could have been more to it then “he tries to do one magic trick, fails, then Kel stabs him”. But that’s it, that’s my only problem everything else is wonderful and amazing.

Trickster Series: I mostly like this one??? I think it’s really cute that the narrator for the audiobook of Alanna’s series also reads this one. I feel a little differently about it depending on what the current state of world events are whenever I reread this one. I did find Aly a little more grating then usual the last time I reread this one, so we’ll see how I feel about it in the future; I think sometimes she tends to tip over into condescending the people of the Copper Iles in the first book when she’s just supposed to be giving rougish quips, though she gets better about it in the second book. I like Nawat in the first book, but I don’t love his pushiness about sex in the second one. I like that he needs to learn to be his own person, but it mostly ends up feeling like an excuse to keep him out of the first half of the story without really paying off later. Kyprioth is really great though, I love how he swings back and forth between a seemingly affable uncle and really revealing how the gods view people more like chess pieces in a board game. I also like how it kinda calls out the Mother Goddess and Mithros even though they’re the main “good” gods in the first series, great way to expand on the established mythology.

Beka Cooper Trilogy: My main problem with this series is just that I loved Terrier SO MUCH that Bloodhound and Mastiff never managed to live up to just how much I adored it. Bloodhound has a lot of good moments and a pretty good antagonist, but it was hard to get really emotionally invested in the counterfeiting plotline (also I couldn’t stand Dale). Mastiff was better then Bloodhound; I was much more invested in the hunt for the prince and the various characters they meet along the way, though it had some weird dropped threads that REALLY bothered me. I don’t like how most of the cast in Terrier gets sidelined in Bloodhound and Mastiff, and a lot of the setups that I was really interested in in Terrier (Beka and Ersken working really well together as dog partners, Beka’s estrangement from her sibilngs, Goodwin getting basically just a cameo in Mastiff) never really come up again. That places Bloodhound and Mastiff both pretty well behind Terrier, though Mastiff DOES have the ultimate best antagonist in the series. Honestly if there’s any high praise I can give the Provost’s Dog trilogy is that it has AMAZING villains.

Circle of Magic Universe: Only listened to the first book and I hate hate HATED the full cast audio version so much that I’m just going to have sit down and actually read a physically copy of the series in order to get through it. I THINK I actually liked the story itself, but the audiobook version just grated on me so bad that I can’t give an honest answer. Not a mark of quality against the writing, I feel the same way about the Redwall audiobooks after all and those books are one of my favorite series ever.

#this post has been sitting in my drafts for over a year so I'm just going to post it #tamora pierce #bored badgering #tortall

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scyllas-revenge · 1 year ago

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This is a really good deconstruction of how to write (and how not to write) war scenes- but I'm still going to nitpick a bit, because Boromir very much did NOT want the ring from the beginning- at least not in the book, which is what this essay is focused on. In the books you get a much clearer sense of how he got to the extreme of betraying Frodo, to the point that if you're going to name one character that exemplifies Tolkien's approach to redemption arcs, moral grayness, and "good and bad instincts" (really? I don't think "bad instinct" exactly describes why Boromir did what he did) you should focus on Gollum, not Boromir.

Boromir really should be framed in this essay more as a representation of how Tolkien writes hope and hopelessness, not moral grayness- he's too burdened down by what he's seen of the enemy, and the doom his country is headed towards, to have the same hope and light that the rest of the Fellowship has. It's that hopelessness and desperation that drives him to go after the ring, not "bad instincts" or even being "good and bad"- those terms seem a little too clunky to fit here- but then again, maybe I'm a bit biased lol. In any case, book Boromir and movie Boromir are definitely not interchangeable.

In general Tolkien's books and Peter Jackson's films have pretty different takes on war- the movies do a great job at focusing on the importance of hope and the emotional side of things, especially considering how rarely we get to see male characters be so vulnerable and earnest with each other, but, well...it's still a blockbuster film series. We still get a lot of battle scenes framed a little too much on wish-fulfillment and unrealistic glory and wouldn't it be cool if you had a giant sword and got to chop through a bunch of bad guys' necks? (see also: every fight scene in the hobbit movies)

Tolkien in general doesn't give a ton of focus to battle scenes- or at least, not nearly as much as he gives to trees and hills and grass and leaves. If he does give a lot of battle detail, it's mostly more about military strategies, which army is where and who is leading whom and which side is ahead or falling back- and as a result, whether our characters still have hope or not, and whether they keep fighting with or without it. I don't get the impression he wanted to get into more individual, GRRM-style detail than that, given everything he'd been through. It really speaks to Tolkien's strength as a writer that he manages to create such an incredible and impactful description of war without many of those details.

Also GRRM just plain sucks and I'm shocked that anyone would take both him and Tolkien as inspiration for the same ideas

Sorry if you’ve already answered this, I’m having trouble finding different posts in your blog.

I know a lot of your asks are more practical-related, but how do you suggest fully encapsulating the horror and tragedy of war in a (fantasy) battle scene? I really need that emotional and gory impact but it also to seem reasonably realistic.

My favourite references are Battle of the Bastards in GoT and scenes from Lord of the Rings.

Thanks!!

Martin and Tolkien are not two authors I’d ever expect to find together when discussing thematic and abstract concepts like the horrors of war in their writing. One of them is extremely deep, and the other is a puddle. Neither of them are particularly “realistic” but only one of them claims that pretense while drawing from real history. If you’re wanting horrors of war, you’re much better off moving away from Martin and taking a gander at the actual War of the Roses.

Let me explain.

Tolkien served as an officer during World War I. By sheer body count, The Great War was one of the most bloody and brutal wars in human history. As a point of reference, over a million soldiers died during the Battle of Somme. Perhaps as importantly, World War I killed the cultural concept of the Summer War. Before World War I, the British upper class viewed war as a game. War was an adventure, something young men did between reaching manhood and getting married. Watson from Sherlock Holmes is an excellent example of the end result for this particular outlook. They figured they’d go off, have some jolly good fun, get a few scars, and be back in a few weeks in time for tea. What they got was a meat grinder. Two of Tolkien’s close friends died during the war. He also lived through the bombings during World War II while working as a professor at Oxford, he experienced the devastating effects that war had on the civilian population first hand, and, likely, saw a few of his students die. Despite his hatred of allegory, the man was working through some shit in The Lord of the Rings.

If you’re interested in learning more about World War I or even about effectively demonstrating the horrors of war, I do recommend reading All Quiet on the Western Front. I read it once in high school (more years ago than I’d like to admit here) and, much like Elie Wiesel, it has stuck with me. It was also such an effective anti-war novel the Nazis banned it and it was one of the first books they publicly burnt, so you know it’s good.

Back to Tolkien.

What they don’t tell you about fantasy is that it’s real life, just with elves and dwarves and magic. The real world forms the foundation of fantasy and it’s the humanity of the emotional experience in war, the good and the bad, with both ends cranked all the way to eleven that really makes Tolkien’s work so impactful. LOTR is operatic by design, but what keeps the narrative from falling into melodrama is the core thematic message underneath the pageantry. One of the major themes is hope, which gets symbolized in light, and hope’s interplay with despair, symbolized in darkness. Not just a rosy view of it either, but the genuine struggle to keep the light burning against all the overwhelming reasons to give up or give in. Tolkien allows his characters to be corrupted and redeemed, their struggle with temptation before ultimately choosing the better path or failing and falling into darkness. He commits to the idea that hope can be restored in the unlikeliest of places.

Boromir’s death is, perhaps, one of the best examples of Tolkien’s philosophy in action. Boromir is a character we’re not sure of, he wants the one ring from the outset, he’s the only one advocating that it shouldn’t be destroyed. The hearts of men are easily corrupted. When he tries to take the ring from Frodo, he falls into his worst instincts and breaks the Fellowship. But then, against the overwhelming flood of Uruk-hai, Boromir tries to save Merry and Pippin. He fights wounded, shot again, and again, until he’s felled by twenty arrows and he fails. Yet, in his failure he restores Aragorn’s hope in his people, gives him a reason to fight for Gondor, and inspires the audience to believe in Man’s potential for greatness.

Tolkien could have left Boromir in the dark, but he didn’t. He could’ve given into cynicism, but he didn’t. In every adaptation, Boromir’s death never fails to get me bawling. Boromir is both good and bad, both dark and light, his best and worst instincts are driven by the same underlying, sympathetic reason—his desire to save his people and fulfill his duty to his father.

On the whole, I find Tolkien’s presentation of the human condition and war to be more compelling and realistic than Martin’s. Tolkien’s underlying themes have more in common with All Quiet on the Western Front, Saving Private Ryan, and HBO’s Band of Brothers. For all that his characters often feel larger than life (by design, he’s telling an epic) there’s always a grounding quality that allows the audience to connect with them. Whether we agree with Tolkien’s core thematic message or not, Tolkien genuinely has something to say about warfare and its effect, both on personal and world changing levels, and he communicates that message very well.

The irony about the “horrors of war” isn’t about the horrors of war. Thematically, the “horrors of war” is about who we choose to become in the face of them when trapped in the crucible. Do we rise to our best selves? Do we fall to our worst? When every illusion about who we believe we are is stripped away, what’s left? It’s an existential question, not a “realistic” one.

You can’t write about the horrors of war in fiction if you have nothing to say about war, humanity, and its effects. All you’ll end up with is gore for shock value. The world becomes hopelessly depressing, and, in the end, all the blood turns brown before it’s finally shat out.

Hi, Martin.

Don’t get me wrong, Martin is a very skilled writer. His prose is genuinely beautiful and his first book in ASOF, A Game of Thrones is actually a pretty decent deconstruction in the traditional fantasy narrative and a fairly realistic treatment of how events would go for the standard well-meaning fantasy protagonist. And that’s… the deepest we get.

Martin comes out of the 24/Joss Whedon death for shock value school of writing and the land of Iron Age comics that doesn’t have anything to really say beyond, “people suck.” Underneath it all is a level of cynicism in the human condition that would make Garth Ennis blush. The deaths are just shock value. There’s nothing more to it than that. Once you’ve acclimated to the gore, there’s nowhere else to go and nothing else to think about. Ironically, out of his contemporaries, Robert Jordan is better at giving both war and death in his narrative lasting effect, driving character growth, and real meaning.

Martin and Tolkien are opposite ends of the spectrum in their approach to war and their outlooks are utterly incompatible. One of them is a complete cynic and the other is facing himself honestly, openly, fearlessly, and without a smidgen of irony. (The true irony here is that the latter is the Englishman.) Following Martin’s blueprint won’t bring you to a Tolkien outcome. Tolkien’s genuine emotion is the subject of mockery in Martin’s world. Season 8 may’ve been clumsy and infuriating, but it was the natural end of Comic Book Iron Age cynicism. There are no good people, people with power can never be trusted, and all heroes, no matter how noble, reveal their true colors as villains in the end. As Christopher Nolan said, “You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” This philosophical outlook may be sold as realistic but it’s really just Political Both Sidesism, Fantasy Edition.

The irony is that the real history Martin draws from, The War of the Roses, is simultaneously crueler, kinder, more noble, more horrific, more impactful, and ultimately more hopeful than Martin’s own work. And this was post the Hundred Years War and all the wars that preceded it.

I bring you, the Duality of Man.

If you want to write a realistic battle scene, start with real war. If you want to write about the horrors of war, start with real war. Pick a war, any war, and dig in. Reading the experiences of others is a way to gain insight into experiences you yourself don’t share and start to process the different philosophies born out of those experiences. The horror of war is a human one.

The most important lesson is that you won’t get there by focusing on the battle itself. To truly feel the impact, every character needs to be carefully built from the very beginning with a through line to every horrific event that happens to them. If you want to learn how to do that, then you need to go study every single war movie from good to bad (including the jingoistic rah-rah ones) like Apocalypse Now, Saving Private Ryan, Battle for Iwo Jima, etc, to really start internalizing the underlying storytelling structure and character design formula that makes those films tick. There’s no one better at portraying the horror and humanity of war than the war film industry. Part of what makes the best of these films really good is their willingness to allow their characters to be emotional and vulnerable. Which you won’t find in a lot of fantasy novels that run on machismo, but is the secret sauce that gives Tolkien his impact.

Having the confidence to allow your characters to struggle, be vulnerable, experience humiliating circumstances, and appear weak is an aspect of writing that a lot of men and women struggle with. Cynicism is a form of self-protection to keep those emotions away, to keep one from being emotionally invested, and is a means by which we protect ourselves from being hurt. We may portray cynicism as the more realistic reality but it’s just a cloak we hide behind. Martin’s approach to warfare is less realistic than Tolkien’s. Tolkien’s characters approach warfare with an eye toward protecting their civilians, safeguarding their future, or, in the case of his villains, focus on genocide. War for Tolkien is the eradication of civilization and the destruction of the future. Characters from experienced combatants to innocent civilians are willing to risk their lives for a world and for the people who matter to them. Martin has the Summer War. It’s there in the title, A Game of Thrones. An entertaining charade of musical chairs. And while all of his characters are chasing power, almost none of them have any sort of vision or goal for the future beyond the accumulation of more. In Martin’s world, the only way to truly win is not to play, but in the real world playing is the only way to create the world you want. Cynicism ends with no seats at the table and no means to change or save anything.

It’s funny because England during the War of the Roses had been in a state of near constant warfare for hundreds of years with their own domestic powers and France prior to the War of the Roses kicking off. The concept of a Summer War didn’t really exist for the medieval nobility. Much as we joke today about war being a game for medieval nobles due to their ransom protections, it really wasn’t. The peasantry was also much, much more dangerous en masse than they are in ASOF. They drove traveling monarchs to hide in monasteries plenty of times and, while that’s funny, it’s not actually a joke.

Now, picture Joffrey dragged off his horse in the middle of a riot and having his skull crushed by a local fishwife right before being trampled into a bloody, unrecognizable pulp by sharp hooves.

Or enjoying the Agincourt bathing route.

You’re welcome.

-Michi

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#this is a grrm hate blog #also I didn't mean to ramble so long #i'm procrastinating at work

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phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years ago

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Mclennon fic recs pretty please 🥺

So I made a list of fic recs (x) awhile back, and I still stand by most of these as being some of my all time favourites - so id recommend looking through that! But my recent faves that arent on the list are:

1. The Contract by JP (jpgr1963)

A novel-length slash story about John and Paul's relationship from their teen years to the 1980s, with many flashbacks and flash forwards. Includes much canon history as well as alternative universe possibilities. This work is complete.

2. Only a nothern song by StonedLennon

AU. Paul works at a record shop, takes night classes to be a teacher, and has sworn off his childish dream of being a musician. John Lennon is a dock worker, poet, and disturber of the peace. In which the story had to be diverted before they could come together. Liverpool, 1963.

If anyone knows any fics they think id like, feel free to send me them! <3

Personally with fanfiction, I don’t tend to like AU’s (especially set in entirely different environments or with the Beatles specifically, the modern day). Im also really picky about dialogue and characterisation, so unless its on point, im just gonna really struggle to get into it. So what im getting at here is that I don’t actually read that much fanfic, cause im too picky haha. Nothing against anyone who writes AUs or anything, we just all have our preferences.

In general, I enjoy fics set in domestic situations, with more focus on dialogue and relationships etc. rather then plot. I especially love “growing old together” fics, and I think we have been starved of them by fic writers in the beatles fandom, cause ive scoured every corner AO3 and there just is not enough 😤

I was re-reading through some of my fics recently, and I think most of them are actually pretty solid, but I need to go back and reword and edit a lot of them, cause the sentences can be pretty clunky y’know. There was a point where I was getting so many fic request asks that I was getting a bit too overwhelmed, and then I just sort of ran out of steam. And I think it was good practice (reading and comparing my earlier writings with my later writings, I think I have shown an actual improvement which is great!), so im not complaining or anything - but if anyone’s wondering why I haven’t written anything in awhile, thats basically why. But id like to get back into it, cause it was fun and I enjoyed it. So I dunno, I might post a list of prompts maybe? Or update my AO3 story? Im tempted to just start an entirely new series on AO3 actually, but it just has to come naturally to me.

#mclennon #fic recs #fanfic #check this tag if anyone wants to read some of my short fics >>>#my work #<<<#i still need to get round to making a masterlist #went off on a tangent near the end there #but like #oh well #asks #anon

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chainofclovers · 3 years ago

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Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her!#frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

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ot3 · 4 years ago

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i watched red vs blue: zero with my dear friends today and i was asked to “post” my “thoughts” on the subject. Please do not click this readmore unless, for some reason, you want to read three thousand words on the subject of red vs blue: zero critical analysis. i highly doubt that’s the reason anyone is following me, but hey.

anyway. here you have it.

Here are my opinions on RVB0 as someone who has quite literally no nostalgia for any older RVB content. I’ve seen seasons 1-13 once and bits and pieces of it more than once here and there, but I only saw it for the first time within the past couple of months. I’ve literally never seen any other RT/AH content. I can name a few people who worked on OG Red vs. Blue but other than Mounty Oum I have NO idea who is responsible for what, really, or what anything else they’ve ever worked on is, or whether or not they’re awful people. I know even less about the people making RVB0 - All I know is that the main writer is named Torrian but I honestly don’t even know if that’s a first name, a last name, or a moniker. All this to say; nothing about my criticism is rooted in any perceived slight against the franchise or branding by the new staff members, because I don’t know or care about any of it. In fact, I’m going to try and avoid any direct comparison between RVB0 and earlier seasons of RVB as a means of critique until the very end, where I’ll look at that relationship specifically.

So here is my opinion of RVB0 as it stands right now:

1. The Writing

Everything about RVB0 feels as if it was written by a first-time writer who hasn’t learned to kill his darlings. The narrative is both simultaneously far too full, leaving very little breathing room for character interaction, and oddly sparse, with a story that lacks any meaningful takeaway, interesting ideas, or genuine emotional connection. It also feels like it’s for a very much younger audience - I don’t mean this as a negative at all. I love tv for kids. I watch more TV for kids than I do for adults, mostly, but I think it’s important to address this because a lot of the time ‘this is for kids’ is used to act like you’re not allowed to critique a narrative thoroughly. It definitely changes the way you critique it, but the critique can still be in good faith. I watched the entirety of RVB0 only after it was finished, in one sitting, and I was giving it my full attention, essentially like it was a movie. I’m going to assume it was much better to watch in chunks, because as it stood, there was literally no time built into the narrative to process the events that had just transpired, or try and predict what events might be coming in the future. When there’s no time to think about the narrative as you’re watching it, the narrative ends up as being something that happens to the audience, not something they engage with. It’s like the difference between taking notes during a lecture or just sitting and listening. If you’re making no attempt to actively process what’s happening, it doesn’t stick in your mind well. I found myself struggling to recall the events and explanations that had immediately transpired because as soon as one thing had happened, another thing was already happening, and it was like a mental juggling act to try and figure out which information was important enough to dwell on in the time we were given to dwell on it.

Which brings me to another point - pacing. Every event in the show, whether a character moment, a plot moment, or a fight scene, felt like it was supposed to land with almost the exact same amount of emotional weight. It all felt like The Most Important Thing that had Yet Happened. And I understand that this is done as an attempt to squeeze as much as possible out of a rather short runtime, but it fundamentally fails. When everything is the most important thing happening, it all fades into static. That’s what most of 0’s narrative was to me: static. It’s only been a few hours since I watched it but I had to go step by step and type out all of the story beats I could remember and run it by my friends who are much more enthusiastic RVB fans than I am to make sure I hadn’t missed or forgotten anything. I hadn’t, apparently, but the fact that my takeaway from the show was pretty accurate and also disappointingly lackluster says a lot. Strangely enough, the most interesting thing the show alluded to - a holo echo, or whatever the term they used was - was one of the things least extrapolated upon in the show’s incredibly bulky exposition. Benefit of the doubt says that’s something they’ll explore in future seasons (are they getting more? Is that planned? I just realized I don’t actually know.)

And bulky it was! I have quite honestly never seen such flagrant disregard for the rule of “show, don’t tell.” There was not a single ounce of subtlety or implication involved in the storytelling of RVB0. Something was either told to you explicitly, or almost entirely absent from the narrative. Essentially zilch in between. We are told the dynamic the characters have with each other, and their personality pros and cons are listed for us conveniently by Carolina. The plot develops in exposition dumps. This is partially due to the series’ short runtime, but is also very much a result of how that runtime was then used by the writers. They sacrificed a massive chunk of their show for the sake of cramming in a ton of fight scenes, and if they wanted to keep all of those fight scenes, it would have been necessary to pare down their story and characters proportionally in comparison, but they didn’t do that either. They wanted to have it both ways and there simply wasn’t enough time for it.

The story itself is… uninteresting. It plays out more like the flimsy premise of a video game quest rather than a piece of media to be meaningfully engaged with. RVB0 is I think something I would be pitched by a guy who thinks the MCU and BNHA are the best storytelling to come out of the past decade. It is nothing but tropes. And I hate having to use this as an insult! I love tropes. The worst thing about RVB0 is that nothing it does is wholly unforgivable in its own right. Hunter x Hunter, a phenomenal shonen, is notoriously filled with pages upon pages of detailed exposition and explanations of things, and I absolutely love it. Leverage, my favorite TV show of all time, is literally nothing but a five man band who has to learn to work as a team while seemingly systematically hitting a checklist of every relevant trope in the book. Pacific Rim is an incredibly straightforward good guys vs giant monsters blockbuster to show off some cool fight scenes such as a big robot cutting an alien in half with a giant sword, and it’s some of the most fun I ever have watching a movie. Something being derivative, clunky, poorly executed in some specific areas, narratively weak, or any single one of these flaws, is perfectly fine assuming it’s done with the intention and care that’s necessary to make the good parts shine more. I’ll forgive literally any crime a piece of media commits as long as it’s interesting and/or enjoyable to consume. RVB0 is not that. I’m not sure what the main point of RVB0 was supposed to be, because it seemingly succeeds at nothing. It has absolutely nothing new or innovative to justify its lack of concern for traditional storytelling conventions. Based solely on the amount of screentime things were given, I’d be inclined to say the narrative existed mostly to give flimsy pretense for the fight scenes, but that’s an entire other can of worms.

2. The Visuals + Fights

I have no qualms with things that are all style and no substance. Sometimes you just want to see pretty colors moving on the screen for a while or watch some cool bad guys and monsters or whatever get punched. RVB0 was not this either. The show fundamentally lacked a coherent aesthetic vision. Much of the show had a rather generic sci-fi feel to it with the biggest standouts to this being the very noir looking cityscape, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like something from a batman game, or the temple, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like a world of warcraft raid. They were obviously attempting to get variety in their environment design, which I appreciate, but they did this without having a coherent enough visual language to feel like it was all part of the same world. In general, there was also just a lack of visual clarity or strong shots. The value range in any given scene was poor, the compositions and framing were functional at best, and the character animation was unpleasantly exaggerated. It just doesn’t really look that good beyond fancy rendering techniques.

The fight scenes are their entire own beast. Since ‘FIGHT SCENE’ is the largest single category of scenes in the show, they definitely feel worth looking at with a genuine critical eye. Or, at least, I’d like to, but honestly half the time I found myself almost unable to look at them. The camera is rarely still long enough to really enjoy what you’re watching - tracking the motion of the character AND the camera at such constant breakneck high speeds left little time to appreciate any nuances that might have been present in the choreography or character animation. I tried, believe me, I really did, but the fight scenes leave one with the same sort of dizzy convoluted spectacle as a Michael Bay transformers movie. They also really lacked the impact fight scenes are supposed to have.

It’s hard to have a good, memorable fight scene without it doing one of three things: 1. Showing off innovative or creative fighting styles and choreography 2. Making use of the fight’s setting or environment in an engaging and visually interesting way or 3. Further exploring a character’s personality or actions by the way they fight. It’s also hard to do one of these things on its own without at least touching a bit on the other two. For the most part, I find RVB0’s fight scenes fail to do this. Other than rather surface level insubstantial factors, there was little to visually distinguish any of RVB0’s fight scenes from each other. Not only did I find a lot of them difficult to watch and unappealing, I found them all difficult to watch and unappealing in an almost identical way. They felt incredibly interchangeable and very generic. If you could take a fight scene and change the location it was set and also change which characters were participating and have very little change, it’s probably not a good fight scene.

I think “generic” is really just the defining word of RVB0 and I think that’s also why it falls short in the humor department as well.

3. The Comedy

Funny shit is hard to write and humor is also incredibly subjective but I definitely got almost no laughs out of RVB0. I think a total of three. By far the best joke was Carolina having a cast on top of her armor, which, I must stress, is an incredibly funny gag and I love it. But overall I think the humor fell short because it felt like it was tacked on more than a natural and intentional part of this world and these characters. A lot of the jokes felt like they were just thrown in wherever they’d fit, without any build up to punchlines and with little regard for what sort of joke each character would make. Like, there was some, obviously Raymond’s sense of humor had the most character to it, but the character-oriented humor still felt very weak. When focusing on character-driven humor, there’s a LOT you can establish about characters based on what sort of jokes they choose to make, who they’re picking as the punchlines of these jokes, and who their in-universe audience for the jokes is. In RVB0, the jokes all felt very immersion-breaking and self aware, directed wholly towards the audience rather than occurring as a natural result of interplay between the characters. This is partially due to how lackluster the character writing was overall, and the previously stated tight timing, but also definitely due to a lack of a real understanding about what makes a joke land.

A rule of thumb I personally hold for comedy is that, when push comes to shove, more specific is always going to be more funny. The example I gave when trying to explain this was this:

saying two characters had awkward sex in a movie theater: funny

saying two characters had an awkward handjob in a cinemark: even funnier

saying two characters spent 54 minutes of 11:14's 1:26 runtime trying out some uncomfortably-angled hand stuff in the back of a dilapidated cinemark that lost funding halfway through retrofitting into a dinner theater: the funniest

The more specific a joke is, the more it relies on an in-depth understanding of the characters and world you’re dealing with and the more ‘realistic’ it feels within the context of your media. Especially with this kind of humor. When you’re joking with your friends, you don’t go for stock-humor that could be pulled out of a joke book, you go for the specific. You aim for the weak spots. If a set of jokes could be blindly transplanted into another world, onto another cast of characters, then it’s far too generic to be truly funny or memorable. I don’t think there’s a single joke in RVB0 where the humor of it hinged upon the characters or the setting.

Then there’s the issue of situational comedy and physical comedy. This is really where the humor being ‘tacked on’ shows the most. Once again, part of what makes actually solid comedy land properly is it feeling like a natural result of the world you have established. Real life is absurd and comical situations can be found even in the midst of some pretty grim context, and that’s why black comedy is successful, and why comedy shows are allowed to dip into heavier subject matter from time to time, or why dramas often search for levity in humor. It’s a natural part of being human to find humor in almost any situation. The key thing, though, once again, is finding it in the situation. Many of RVB0’s attempts at humor, once again, feel like they would be the exact same jokes when stripped from their context, and that’s almost never good. A pretty fundamental concept in both storytelling in general but particularly comedy writing is ‘setup and payoff’. No joke in RVB0 is a reward for a seemingly innocuous event in an earlier scene or for an overlooked piece of environmental design. The jokes pop in when there’s time for them in between all the exposition and fighting, and are gone as soon as they’re done. There’s no long term, underlying comedic throughline to give any sense of coherence or intent to the sense of humor the show is trying to establish. Every joke is an isolated one-off quip or one-liner, and it fails to engage the audience in a meaningful way.

All together, each individual component of RVB0 feels like it was conjured up independently, without any concern to how it interacted with the larger product they were creating. And I think this is really where it all falls apart. RVB0 feels criminally generic in a way reminiscent of mass-market media which at least has the luxury of attributing these flaws, this complete and total watering down of anything unique, to heavy oversight and large teams with competing visions. But I don’t think that’s the case for RVB0. I don’t know much about what the pipeline is like for this show, but I feel like the fundamental problem it suffers from is a lack of heart.

In comparison to Red vs. Blue

Let's face it. This is a terrible successor to Red vs. Blue. I wouldn’t care if NONE of the old characters were in it - that’s not my problem. I haven’t seen past season 13 because from what I heard the show already jumped the shark a bit and then some. That’s not what makes it a poor follow up. What makes it a bad successor is that it fundamentally lacks any of the aspects of the OG RVB that made it unique or appealing at all. I find myself wondering what Torrian is trying to say with RVB0 and quite literally the only answer I find myself falling back onto is that he isn’t trying to say anything at all. Regardless of what you feel about the original RVB, it undeniably had things to say. The opening “why are we here” speech does an excellent job at establishing that this is a show intended to poke fun at the misery of bureaucracy and subservience to nonsensical systems, not just in the context of military life, but in a very broad-strokes way almost any middle-class worker can relate to. At the end of the day, fiction is at its best when it resonates with some aspect of its audience’s life. I know instantly which parts of the original Red vs Blue I’m supposed to relate to. I can’t say anything even close to that about 0.

RVB is an absurdist parody that heavily satirizes aspects of the military and life as a low-on-the-food-chain worker in general that almost it’s entire target audience will be familiar with. The most significant draw of the show to me was how the dialogue felt like listening to my friends bicker with each other in our group chats. It required no effort for me to connect with and although the narrative never outright looked to the camera and explained ‘we are critiquing the military’s stupid red tape and self-fullfilling eternal conflict’ they didn’t need to, because the writing trusted itself and its audience enough to believe this could be conveyed. It is, in a way, the complete antithesis to the badass superhero macho military man protagonist that we all know so well. RVB was saying something, and it was saying it in a rather novel format.

Nothing about RVB0 is novel. Nothing about RVB0 says anything. Nothing about it compels me to relate to any of these characters or their situations. RVB0 doesn’t feel like absurdism, or satire. RVB0 feels like it is, completely uncritically, the exact media that RVB itself was riffing off of. Both RVB0 and RVB when you watch them give you the feeling that what you’re seeing here is kids on a playground larping with toy soldiers. It’s all ridiculous and over the top cliche stupid garbage where each side is trying to one-up the other. The critical difference is, in RVB, we’re supposed to look at this and laugh at how ridiculous this is. In RVB0 we’re supposed to unironically think this is all pretty badass.

The PFL arc of the original RVB existed to show us that setting up an elite team of supersoldiers with special powers was something done in bad faith, with poor outcomes, that left everyone involved either cruel, damaged, or dead. It was a bad thing. And what we’re seeing in RVB0 is the same premise, except, this time it’s good. We’re supposed to root for this format. RVB0 feels much more like a demo reel, cutscenes from a video game that doesn’t exist, or a shonen anime fanboy’s journal scribbling than it feels like a piece of media with any objective value in any area. In every area that RVB was anti-establishment, RVB0 is pure undiluted establishment through and through.

#long post #really long post guys. look out !#rvb

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rowanthestrange · 7 months ago

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Honestly? I know supportive mothers of transgirls and women, and they all started making more in-quotes “gender essentialist” statements like this. All of them. Now they’re Girls Together. A splash of Supportive Sexism. It seems like it’s just a natural by-product of affirming their kids’ gender and downplaying the one they wish to distance from. Same for those with transmale ones, their child usually has a gap there and they either instinctively or deliberately fill it. To me it was very in-character to how real life parents of trans children* (or the good ones anyway) are in my anecdotal experience. [Which is a bit more than average cus of me writing those apparently meaningless trans protections that got passed at labour party conference].

And we know he knows because he lampshades it at the very start of the episode:

Sylvia: I never know. When I say she looks gorgeous, is that right? I mean, is it sexist? Never said it to him when he was... Oh. Oh, sorry. Donna: Does she look gorgeous? Yes. Well, stop worrying. Sylvia: I just get so clumsy. Donna: I know. So do I. That's what happens. You have a kid, you think, "Good. I've got it. That's mine." And then she grows up into this extraordinary, beautiful thing, and you think, "Where the hell did she come from? How lucky am I?" Don't you, Mum?

Donna is clunky. She is infamous for her foot-in-mouth disorder, it defines her. She’s ‘but homie got the spirit’. She is sincere and earnest and accidentally offends or backhands someone or is cringe because of that sincerity in basically every episode she was in. It’s such a fundamental part of her character. “No, no, don’t do that.” She says what she thinks and sometimes those thoughts are bangers and sometimes they are not. It’s like that line that pearl clutchers clutched their pearls at, and Fifteen just laughs at, about not knowing “you came in other colours”. That’s just who she is. The people who want characters to be avatars to be emulated don’t see value in those lines, and I get it, I actually do, I understand the fear there. But as a writer, yes, oh yes, they’re valuable. Those bits are where Donna Noble resides and not just some cut out that says the right words and could’ve been filled by anyone.

And also for purely in-universe it confirms the Not-thing was definitely lying, and Donna not downplaying, but that she really wasn’t aware of anything that’s been happening to the Doctor recently. Rusty’s got so many links to 13’s era that it sticks out, it’s a thing you frown at. It causes a hiccup and pause and go ‘hang on’. Which notably also happens in one other place - the Meep pronouns scene. Whether Russell plans on writing Fourteen on screen or not again he’s clearly written an underlying gender story (and we do know that, we do, 15 in a skirt immediately) for people to work with be that him or Big Finish or fandom or novels or whatever.

(And it’s only been 6 months, and David Tennant busy with Good Omens etc. we don’t know what any of Rusty’s actual plans are. Fourteen could turn up as the key part of the finale for all we know, way too early to call that ‘there isn’t any more’. And given the BBC even if there are plans, if it’s known to be trans they could just refuse to let him do that in ‘a show watched by young people’. It’s bad over here right now. Disney+ is actually our safety net at this stage to guarantee at least airing what’s already been filmed, that’s where we are.)

Rusty’s work is best understood as an oil slick on the ocean. A nice pretty shiny surface layer for simple understanding which can also then be problematic in implication due to the compression. But if you do want to look beneath, there’s a real thing down there, all big and deep and complicated. Used to be a bit more shallow, but seems to have filled up considerably in 15 years of downtime and growth. There’s no evidentiary reason to think otherwise at this point besides the voices in our head that want to tell us other people are stupid and we’re smarter. RTD2 is skilled. Doesn’t mean any agreement with his choices is necessary, but does mean respecting him enough to say they were choices.

do you guys think the line about uhh,,, "It’s a shame you’re not a woman any more. Cos she’d have understood." actually provides something valuable in terms of a point to be made or donna's characterisation or can it be cut/replaced without losing anything?

im thinking of rose's "youre so gay" to 9 and how that actually was about smth abt her character which like she grew out of

similarly this line could be saying smth abt donna's view on gender. i think it's a weird line especially for a mother of a trans girl but it's not necessarily unrealistic. theres lots of essentialism in how transness gets explained - born in the wrong body etc. but we dont get any more donna. theres no way for this to resolve like with rose

#sorry you give me two days off #and i’m typing too long replies at midnight #which i’m 95% sure you’re not going to see #but i had feelings on it #i should sleep instead #will probably idly assign companions digimon crests though

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hopeshoodie · 3 years ago

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Ok so I finally got caught up on CMM (anon, I have a lot going on right now, maybe don’t send me over ten asks with spoilers in them… I pinkie promise I’ll post once I read it) and thoughts-

Obviously the big one is Shannon and Hope. I would’ve paid all my gems to talk to either one of them, but I’m still a little salty that we did have to pay. For such a short scene, they recycled 30% of the dialogue towards the beginning and that was annoying. It would’ve been so easy to make them unique. Hope absolutely would have been insecure and said ‘did anyone ask about me’, but Shannon wouldn’t. Shannon doesn’t care, she could’ve said something like “lol does anyone even remember me?” or “it’s totally fine, sounds like it was an original islanders only party”. The reasons they gave for not being there were pretty good, and it makes me feel better than in-canon they weren’t un-invited. Hope’s part was much longer than Shannon’s but I liked Shannon’s more.

My big issue with the phone calls was that Hope’s call was just… flat. In the villa, Hope was smiling all the time, super expressive and warm, and her call just seemed really… flat. It lacked a warmth that being BFFs with her merits. And the conceit, that she’s at a stuffy wellness retreat trying to schmooze a client with her boss, would’ve been really ripe for her being expressive. Like “omg thank god a normal person, I’ve been doing nothing but smiling and agreeing all weekend”. I did like how she expressed insecurity and then corrected herself, it showed a lot of growth. I just wish there would’ve been more sincerity and personality.

I’m not mad about Chelsea and Rocco. I kinda don’t think they’ll last, because Rocco will eventually move on and Chelsea is desperately trying to cling to the experience of the villa through him. But I feel like it was effectively foreshadowed, and seems pretty in character for the both of them. It’s not the redemption arc I was hoping for Rocco though, I still hope Rocco sits down with Lottie or Priya and properly apologizes.

Chelsea’s password being BRA? Jesus christ, give it a rest, FB. She has more than one personality trait. The CMM writers really just latched onto 1-2 cute moments with each character in the main season and decided “this is all they think and talk about”. Same with Hope saying pacifically again and Priya’s gauche sunflower print.

The escape room bit was fun, but I wish the riddles hadn’t been multiple choice (instead the typing in thing and if you get it right Chelsea’s excited but otherwise has stock lines like ‘not quite… it’s a mirror!’). Also it would’ve been more fun if another character was trapped with MC, just to see them try to solve it. The humor in that section was good though, I especially liked the reaction to throwing the box at the wall.

LOVED the new outfits, they’re all super cute but like… Why did I spent 10 gems when literally no one’s going to acknowledge the costume change?? Like surely someone would be like “what… happened? Why did you change?” or even “you changed because you’re the murderer and were getting blood off your clothes!”. But nothing.

I’m not super invested in the mystery, and I don’t really mind that. The characters and their reminiscing is more important. But like… I don’t think the clues were handled very compellingly. The clues aren’t really tied to any one specific person, and they’re not insight into how the murders took place or what enabled the person to get away. It’s just… Here’s a note Chelsea gave you, here’s a thing that was at the scene. I’d like it more if it was things like ‘a bare footprint, a half drank wine glass, a cypher with a puzzle attached’. Something that you could be like ‘x character wouldn’t know how to do that, x character likes wine’ etc.

Also I don’t love how it seems like the murderer changes based on your choices? Like if they’ve coded it so that everyone’s possibly the murderer and it’s just revealed based on player choice who it is that’s not… A mystery… Like I’d much prefer if only 1 person was the murderer, or there was a pre-set killer for each victim.

Lucas died in my game (I’m romancing Priya), and there was a chance to flirt with him before he died. I know other people had Lottie die if Gary was the LI, so who dies if Bobby is your LI? Can you romance Lottie and the other person?

My eggs are still all in the ‘Noah’s the murderer’ basket.

I really hate how explicit the switch between the mystery and socializing has been. Obviously that’s a facet of everyone playing characters, but like three times now there’s been “let’s get back to the mystery!” or “let’s stop the mystery to socialize” and it just feels clunky and breaks up the story. I’d prefer if all of the characters collectively disregarded the characters they’re playing, except when clearly delivering dialogue in reaction to things, so that there’s less “are you in character right now or are you you?”. I’d also change it so that everyone really casually talks about their theories and the mystery but for the most part isn’t super invested in it. That way the player can choose to be the only one who cares about the mystery and solving it, or we can do away with the back and forth about it. I don’t know, I’m just not a fan of how we keep interrupting GOOD scenes like MC/her LI bonding, reminiscing with people, or Chelsea announcing her relationship to be like ‘lol let’s talk about a mystery’.

I’m shipping Lucas and Priya more than MC and Priya because when romancing her, Priya really doesn’t have any personality outside of ‘interested in MC’, versus when she’s roleplaying with Lucas or around everyone else she’s back to being herself. It’s creating this weird dynamic where the writing makes it seem like Priya is /uncomfortable/ or not herself when romancing MC, to the point where I feel guilty?? Like she seemed more in-character and excited when talking about a guy who dumped her than she has been when kissing and doing the nasty with MC all night. Like honestly you could replace her with Rahim in all her romance scenes and it would be more in-character for Rahim.

Overall I’m... Enjoying it. Like I’m not stopping mid-episode to do something else like I was with S3. But tbh I think I enjoyed Boat Party more, and I’m really only thinking about specific scenes and headcanons after putting my phone down (as opposed to S2 and S1 which lived in my head rent free after playing an episode)

Maybe part of that is I have a really poor working memory and prefer to binge consume media instead of playing it week by week, so I lose interest each week. Once it’s fully released I’ll have to play it in one go and let yall know if it’s actually bad or I’m just bad.

#litg #cmm spoilers

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breadoffoxy · 5 years ago

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Of Insults and Flowers

Summary: You weren’t sure what to expect when a hot customer comes barging into your shop, but the depletion of your flowers representing insults and falling in love was definitely not on the list.

Written for the BTS Ghostie Writers Bingo Bash. Prompt: Florist!AU

Pairing: Jungkook x n. Reader

Genre: Fluff, one sprinkle of angst, humor, florist!AU

Warnings: Some language, cheesy flirting, kissing, an innuendo, Jin being the best chaotic friend, brother, and boss a person could ever want.

Word Count: 5,363

The day at the shop has been slow. Here you are trimming yet another thorn off yet another rose. One large pile on the left slowly shifting to become a large pile on the right. Your phone is hooked up to a little speaker playing music that's irresistible to dance to.

The clanging of the bell on the door makes you squeak as you quickly look up. Your dancing form is frozen as you hope that they didn't see your booty shaking.

A young man strides forward purposefully, large eyes intently focused on your form behind the counter. Crap he totally saw you dancing.

Double crap he is super-hot.

The brunette customer is decked out in all black from his large shirt, jeans, and clunky boots. Tattoos peek out from under his sleeves on muscular arms. Small silver hoops swing from his ears from his hurried pace.

When the man reaches the counter, his hands slam down on the surface making you jump. From their position you see more tattoos inked across his hands. The grip on your cutters tightens. The type of customer that is impatient, rude, and knows better than you have frequently entered your shop, but no one has ever entered like this. You're not sure what set the brunette off as you never seen him in your shop before. You would have remembered him if he did.

"How do you say fuck you in flowers."

"...Excuse me?"

"I need a bouquet to give to a...acquaintance. One that says fuck you, and not the good fuck you. Sure, he's good looking for someone his age but ah sorry that's not the point." He runs a hand through his dark locks. The action makes it look incredibly fluffy. "The point is, I need flowers that look pretty but are a proverbial middle finger."

The only sound is the music from your phone. Body rigid despite the tune you love, you stare at him with wide eyes.

An awkward beat passes between the two of you as you try to gauge the hot madman in front of you. He seems to finally notice the death grip you got on your cutters and the confusion in your eyes.

Black boots take a couple of careful steps away from the counter. He raises his hands in front of him.

"Sorry...I'm just really frustrated at this guy. I didn't mean to scare you."

Quickly the young man bows deeply. "Please forgive me."

Ok, now you are even more shook at the situation.

Your hand loosens its grip on the cutters a bit as you wave your hands frantically.

"It's ok, please don't bow. I was just really surprised."

The man straightens slightly from his 90-degree angle and looks at you with large eyes. The intensity of them has simmered down to a sheepish look begging for forgiveness.

Oh god, the hot man just turned into an adorable puppy.

"Just don't walk into someone's store like that again, ok."

You place the cutters on the table gently but keep your hands lingering close to the tool. The man returns to his deep bow.

"That acquaintance must be a piece of work."

Straightening, the man huffs and smiles sardonically, "Oh, you have no idea."

"Fill me in, that way I can get the appropriate 'fuck you' across."

"Ok, so I work at Kim's." At the lost look on your face he adds "That small restaurant on the other side of the neighborhood."

"Oh, I think I've seen the sign before?"

"Seriously? Their food is to die for. Sorry, I keep getting off point. Jin, he's the head chef there. His brother is on vacation and he's been missing him which causes him to act up more. The two are a force together but on their own its a whole other story."

You learn that the man in front of you is a server at Kim's as he regales tales of his boss Kim Seokjin, head chef. He misses his youngest brother Taehyung dearly, and has been acting out as a result. Dad jokes have been at an all-time high along with bickering over every little thing with is servers. Without Taehyung there, apparently no one comes close to the man named worldwide handsome in the looks department causing him to gloat about his looks more frequently as well. Many of the stories have you laughing. Leaning against the counter you're completely invested in every word the young man tells you.

"So here I am because Tae wanted me to buy his brother some flowers as a gift. As a friend it is my duty, but I feel like this is my time to get some revenge as well you know?"

You nod sagely in complete understanding. "I think I have just the ensemble of flowers for you...ummm...sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Sorry, I really am an idiot. I'm Jeon Jungkook."

"Nice to meet you Jungkook. I'm y/n. Just give me a minute and I'll be back with some flowers."

You ponder over the flowers in your stock for a moment before carefully grabbing some to take back to the counter. Jungkook looks over your colorful assortment in curiosity.

You pick up an orange lily from the pile for Jungkook to inspect. "If you want the biggest fuck you in flower then this is it."

Next you pick up a delicate white flower. "This is orange mock, which means deceit. I thought it would be appropriate as well."

Jungkook carefully takes the flower from you, fingers brushing against yours accidentally in the process. The touch makes you jolt slightly. It goes unnoticed as the customer appraises the flower.

"Why is it called orange mock when it's white?"

Slightly still flustered you do your best to answer. "Its um well... you see the flower looks similar to orange blossoms. if you smell it, it also smells citrusy kinda, and that is why they have that name. Fake oranges."

Jungkook tilts his head down and takes a deep breath of the orange mock. He looks up with a smile partially hidden behind the flowers. You think your heart may have stopped at the sight.

"It does smell nice."

"So, um this last one," you sputter and focus on the cluster of flowers on the counter instead of the customer who's smiling with glittering eyes over your shyness, "is a zinnia. They come in many colors but they mean thinking of an absent friend. I figured your friend would appreciate part of the flowers being partly symbolic in the way he wants."

Jungkook picks up the zennia that's a mix of yellow and orange with highlights of pink. "He would like that." With all three of the flowers now in his grasp he nods. "Plus, I get to be petty now."

"Exactly. Now how would you like these wrapped?"

"You wouldn't happen to have a small vase for these would you? Something that's not too expensive?"

"I got something that'll work."

You retreat to another section of your little shop and return with a simple and small glass vase.

"Will this do?" You tilt the vase for Jungkook to see the price tag on the bottom.

"Yeah that'll be fine."

Putting the flowers in your outstretched hand, Jungkook watches in fascination as you assemble the flowers together.

"Tada! How do you like it?" You exclaim after you put in the last flower.

"It's perfect, thank you."

Making a customer satisfied has never made you happier. Quickly you scribble everything down on the receipt pad as Jungkook pulls his wallet out from his back pocket. You give him the receipt which he quickly looks over before giving you his card.

"Alright, I hope Jin likes it." You can't help but giggle. "Thank you for your purchase."

"No, thank you y/n." He bows quickly again before picking up the vase. He walks out of your shop, but not before giving you a little wave goodbye.

A few hectic days pass after that as you fulfill an order for a bridezilla's wedding. You almost forget about the ordeal until a tall handsome man with wide shoulders enters your shop. You can't help admiring the man as you cut off a long piece of ribbon to tie around a small arrangement. That is until your eyes spot a familiar looking assortment of orange and white flowers in a little glass vase. Crap, you hope he isn't here to yell at you. Double crap because he is more attractive than Jungkook mentioned, if he is who you think he is.

He notes you eyeing the flowers he holds with wide eyes. "Recognize these do you?" He places them on the counter as he leans over it slightly. "Imagine my surprise when I thought I was being gifted this beautiful bouquet," One of his hands waves at the flowers before resting on his hip and his polite smile turns into a frown, "were part a lovely message from my brother, but also an insult from that brat."

The fingers on his other hand strum against the table, adding to your anxiousness. "You can imagine how shocked and upset I was when my beloved smart brother told me the true meaning of these flowers."

"I'm sorry about that sir." You force out your customer service voice. "Our refund policy would not cover these flowers as there are no defects."

"Oh no, I'm not here for a refund."

What is up with these hot men making you so confused.

"I want my own insult flowers to give back to him."

"...Okay?"

So here you are going over different flowers with the handsome customer who you learn is indeed Jin, mister worldwide handsome himself.

The two of you decided on monkshood, a pretty purple flower that's poisonous if eaten, among a bundle of pink and white Rhododendron. Basically, it’s a batch of flowers warning Jungkook to watch his back. You make sure Jin promises to keep the monkshood away from food and he swore on his pride a chef he would never ruin food like that for someone.

"Thanks, Flower, for the flowers." Jin winks at you with a chuckle. "Come by the restaurant sometime and I'll whip you up something good. My treat."

You stand there a bit baffled as the man makes his exit.

For some reason you're not surprised when Jungkook stops by a couple days later asking for more flowers to serve as insults to his boss. The two keep coming back and forth to your shop. You find it entertaining and honestly their feud is really good for your business. Seeing the attractive men always makes your day a bit better. However, you're starting to run out of different flowers that they would consider insults. Jungkook did just buy out all the buttercups you had left to give to his somewhat childish boss.

One day while watering your plants you receive a phone call. Cradling the phone between your shoulder and you're ear you answer, "Hello, this is Spring Day how may I help you?"

"Hello, this is Kim Namjoon from Kim's restaurant. I'm sure you're familiar with the name with your two loyal customers."

You can't help the chuckle at the tone of Namjoon's voice. "Yes, very familiar." The common visits of the two have sparked a unique friendship. It hasn't helped that the attraction you felt for the younger frequent customer has turned into quite the crush.

"The arrangements you have been making for my brother and Jungkook have been displayed around the restaurant and the customers have been noting how much they like them. We would like to hire you to supply flowers for our place sets if that is something you are interested in. If so, I have some numbers ready to go over with you."

"Ok Mr. Kim, thank you for the opportunity. Let's talk some business."

After Namjoon and you discuss prices and scheduling you eventually came to a solid agreement. When the phone call is over you can't help but do a happy dance. You're so proud of how your little business is growing.

Despite Jin and Jungkook visiting your store so often, you still haven’t visited Kim’s Restaurant until now. You stand out of the classy looking restaurant with your first delivery. Assorted colors of orchids fill the box, the simple yet elegant flower you and Taehyung agreed upon would work best to start with for now.

The youngest Kim brother emailed you upon returning from his vacation. He was the one in charge of the restaurant's graphic and interior design. He often worked as a host, greeting everyone who enters with a boxy smile. One was aimed your way just now as he helps you with the door to get inside. "Great to see you y/n, come in, come in."

Enthusiastically he ushers you into the restaurant. It's early in the morning so there are no customers yet. A lovely smell wafts from the kitchen as you follow Taehyung to a table further back. The restaurant is very chic looking with black and white pictures of various sizes and settings hanging on the walls.

"These photos are all beautiful Taehyung. Are they all yours?"

"They are." Taehyung is beaming at the compliment. "I took new photos on my trip so I can't wait to get those developed. Now let's look at those flowers."

Taehyung helps you carefully take the flowers out of the box and set them on the table. Namjoon, a couple of tables over with what looks like important papers and folders, tries to come over and help, but Taehyung shoos him away. "He'll destroy the whole batch if we aren't careful y/n." He whispers playfully to you.

"I can hear you; you know that right."

Namjoon just gets Taehyung's signature smile in return. The back door opening and slamming shut drags your attention towards the back hall.

"Yah! What have I told you punks about that door, huh?" An aggravated voice yells from the kitchen.

"Sorry Yoongi," comes a triage of voices. You're excited to see Jungkook come into view along with two other men. Your favorite customer stops with wide eyes as he notices you. A smile quickly blooms on his face and he makes his way over to you excitedly.

"Y/n! You finally came."

The two other men look at the scene with interest, recognizing your name instantly as it comes out of the youngest staff member's mouth.

"Hey Jungkook, sorry it took me so long, and that it's for work. I'm an awful friend huh?"

Jungkook whips his head side to side. "No, no, your business keeps you busy. I'm just glad you're finally here."

The young server leans close to you to get a good view of the flowers on the table. The other two servers behind him share a knowing look before approaching.

"So, you're the famous y/n, we've heard a lot about you." You turn to see the attractive men bow in greeting. "I'm Jimin." Greets the grinning blonde who gets elbowed by Jungkook after his statement.

"Hiya! I'm Hoseok, nice to finally meet you." He makes a cute sound effect as he also examines the flowers. "These are really pretty."

"Thank you, and nice to meet you too." You beam at the two servers. Jungkook's hip suddenly bumps into yours softly making you look at him questioningly. He only smiles at you so you bump your hip back into his.

"Wait, is that my Flower that I hear?" A voice comes from the kitchen as a head peeks through the server's opening in the wall that also lets customers see into the kitchen. "It is!"

Junkook frowns at the nickname as Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung laugh at his disappointed face.

"Hello Jin." You call out to the man walking his way out of the kitchen. He makes his way over towards you and opens his arms for a hug which you gladly return.

"Oh, it's so cool to see you in your chef's outfit." Jin's wide shoulders fill out his black chef's jacket which is tied tightly around his thin waist. The chef's ears turn slightly red at your compliment. "Oh stop...tell me more."

"Ok, that's enough back to work." The grumpy voice calls over from the open area into the kitchen. The man with dark hair, you assume must be Yoongi, nods in greeting before disappearing.

"On my way Yoongles!"

You swear you can fell the sigh that came from the kitchen.

"Don't think I forgot my promise to treat you to something y/n. Prepared to be blown away." The tall chef blows a kiss to you dramatically before reentering the kitchen.

"Ok guys," Namjoon claps at the servers. "Let's go over today's items." He ignores the collective groans. "You're good Taehyung and y/n?"

You nod as Taehyung answers, "All set."

Jungkook hips bump into yours as he follows the others to Namjoon's table. He smirks over his shoulder and sends you a little finger wave, which you return. Straightening your shoulders, you turn back to Taehyung and the two of you get into business mode. You figure out which arrangements you want on each table, making the displays form a slight pattern based off color. Taehyung and you now stand near the host's table, eyeing the flowers approvingly.

"This look's good y/n, thank you for the hard work."

"I'd say a lot of this is a win for you. You have a really good eye Taehyung."

Taehyung playfully puts a hand on his heart and looks at you with the cutest expression. Namjoon walks from the back and nods at the flowers approvingly as well as he passes.

"Y/n have a seat please." You follow the two Kims to Namjoon's table where you discuss further business. That is until a bowl of japchae is put down in front of you. The sight and smell of it make your mouth water.

"Compliments of the Chef." Grins Jungkook, who is now changed into his server uniform of a black button up long sleeves shirt tucked into black slacks with a sleek black belt. Not used to seeing him dressed so sharp, you can't help that your eyes look him over appreciatively.

"Sorry y/n, but Jungkook isn't on the menu."

You whip your head to look at the youngest Kim brother looking slightly affronted. Taehyung's head is resting in his hands propped up on the table and is grinning at your reaction. Taehyung winks at you while Namjoon snickers as he busies himself with his papers.

"Eat it before it gets cold y/n" prods the grinning server besides you. You pick up the chopsticks ready to bury yourself into the heavenly looking japchae and pretend you don't exist. Flavor explodes in your mouth the taste is-

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to order me though."

You're choking on the noodles, coughing to try to clear your throat. Oh god this was how you're going to die.

Hands are hitting your back trying to help you clear the food. Luckily the food gets cleared quickly and a large glass of water is placed next to you. Quickly you gulp down the water as a large hand gently rubs up and down your back soothingly. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah..." You clear your throat for good measure. "Yeah I'll be good."

The perfect server, Jungkook refills your water quickly.

"Thanks."

"Don't kill our customer and florist now Junkook." Namjoon slightly disciplines.

"Sorry boss. Sorry about that y/n."

You see the young man look sheepish and enter a deep and apologetic bow.

"You're going to kill me one of these days Jungkook I just know it." At your teasing tone Jungkook brightens up immediately.

“If that happens, I’m sure it would be from me giving you too much love.”

You roll your eyes at his cheesiness. He’s clearly learned from the best.

“Now go on, give it a try.”

You take another bite of food, and you're grateful no one says anything as you appreciate the taste slowly.

"Tell the chef this is amazing and thank you."

"He'll be glad to hear it." With a slight bow, Jungkook heads back to the kitchen. The sound of some sort of commotion starts back there making everyone at the table shake their head.

"Sorry for the trouble y/n."

"It's no problem Namjoon. I'm quite fond of it now."

Time flies by before you know it. You're busy at Spring Day fulfilling orders and spending your time at Kim's, not all of it for business. It's a lively environment, and going there has made your days so much more enjoyable. It also made your crush on the server Jungkook a whole lot stronger and into something more real and concrete. His flirting still shocks you every time much to everyone's amusement at the restaurant.

The bells on the door clang loudly making you stop your dancing to greet your customer. A loud voice greets you back. "Hello Flower! How are you today?"

"Hey Jin. Just cutting thorns off roses...again." Seriously cutting thorns off roses seems to be a never-ending task for you but that's what you get for being a florist.

"So, what brings you in today?" You glance at the calendar tacked up to the wall. "It's not delivery day."

Jin looks at you with a mockingly offended expression. "What, so I can't just come here to visit my favorite florist?"

"I'm the only florist you know Jin."

"Fine, fine you got me. I am here for a reason."

"I told you I don't have any new revenge flowers to give you. You'll have to do repeats if you want any."

"Nope that's not the reason I'm here today, but you know you really need to get some new ones in."

You raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to get to the point.

"What brings me here today is..." He taps a drum roll on the counter top. "...is love."

"Love?"

"Yes, love!"

"Ok, I'm getting a little offended with your blank stare of yours right now." Jin confesses.

You lean against the counter, careful not to smush any roses, and rest your head on the palm of your hand. "So, tell me of this love of yours."

Jin mimics your position and you feel like two kids gossiping.

"Well they are really sweet, and they get super cute when their shy. He li- I like their smile and laugh. Makes my heart flutter and all that."

"Uh-huh. What's their name?”

Jin winks at you. "Now that's a secret y/n."

"Of course it is." You can't help but roll your eyes. "So, does your lover know about your feelings and this is a gift, or are you needing to use the flowers to confess."

"The second one." Jin points finger guns at you.

"Alright, do you know what their favorite flower is." You straighten up and reach out for your inventory book.

"Uhh, what's your favorite flower."

The binder falls to the ground with a slap after your surprise caused you to fumble it.

"J-Jin," You squeak. "Are you confessing to me?"

You love Jin, but not that way. Your heart beats faster despite that, it feels like a hummingbird in your chest. You've never received a confession before.

"What, no no no, not me! Oh god I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like that." He denies until he sees the look of disappointment in your face. You know you are not interested in him like that but his strong refusal makes your eyes sting.

"...Oh, that's fine. Good yeah, because I don't see you that way either." You try to play it off, but your voice doesn't sound that convincing. You bend down to pick up your binder. quickly trying to get your act together, you stay hidden a second longer behind the counter than you need to.

When you pop back up from behind the counter you keep your eyes focused on the inventory book you open up and avoid looking at the handsome man in front of you.

"So unlike revenge flowers, there are a lot more flowers that represent love."

Large hands cup your face and to pull your gaze to meet warm eyes that are worried yet reassuring.

"y/n there are so many people out there that love you. All of us at the restaurant," He pauses to wipe a stray tear with his thumb. "It may not be all romantic love, but you're part of our family now. So, don't be sad. I know there's someone who will give you the love you deserve. You got that Flower."

You nod your head in his warm grip. His hands stroke your cheeks before pulling away.

"These flowers are for...for someone else, but I know I can trust you to make something beautiful full of love."

You sniffle, but a smile is on your face now as you flip to the page you need. You’re lucky to have such a good friend. "Well let's get started on making the best confession bouquet that's going to knock their socks off."

Jin smiles at you reassuringly as the two of you look over your stock. You explain the flower meanings to him as you go along. After analyzing a variety of choices, the two of you decide to go with a simple arrangement of red tulips and orange blossoms.

At first Jin was wanting to go for the iconic roses, but you explained that something different with a similar meaning might be good by impressing the receiver with not the default choice. It could just be you and your high stack of roses you still have to dethorn, but you’re a little tired of the beautiful flower. Jin quickly relents and goes for the red tulips that you explain represents a declaration of love, and to believe the person giving the flowers is honest in their feelings.

He does question your choosing of orange blossoms as a filler flower to the bouquet over the traditional carnations, but you explain that they have a similar meaning as well and it would be something unique. It has nothing to do with the memory of Jungkook serenely smelling orange mock and looking at you in-between the delicate blossoms. Orange blossoms allude to innocence, eternal love, marriage and fruitfulness. You ignore the eyebrow wiggle Jin gives you at that last part.

"Do you want me to wrap these up for you, or just the bundle as is?"

"Wrap them up like one of your french flowers for me would you."

You roll your eyes as he laughs at his own joke.

"You should come by the restaurant tonight. It's dessert night." The chef sings to you.

You started the tradition of joining the staff at Kim's for a meal once a week after the store closes. Once in a blue moon, Jin and Yoongi go a bit over the top and make crazy beautiful fragile pieces of art they call desserts. When the rare mood strikes them to undergo the delicate process of creating such treats, the rest of the staff dresses up for the occasion to match the aesthetic food and to feel fancy once in a while.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Jin smiles fondly at you and carefully takes the flowers out of the shop, but not before giving you his signature flying kiss as goodbye.

Your shoes click on the ground as you approach Kim's. You glance at the time to make sure you weren't too early as it was dark inside. You peek inquisitively through the glass and you see Taehyung waving at you in dim lighting. After getting to know Taehyung better, you don't question things like why he would be standing alone in the dark at the front of his restaurant.

You wave back as the man rushes towards the door to let you in.

"Don't you look beautiful tonight."

"Same goes to you Taehyung."

Really Taehyung was dressed in rather laid-back clothes then what he normally wears for dessert nights. However, he's always beautiful no matter what he does which is so unfair.

Glancing around the dark restaurant, you don't see anyone else, though that could be because of the poor lighting.

"Why is it to dark in here Tae, and where is everyone?"

"They're out back. We're trying out something different this time."

He makes a dramatic bow and holds his arm out to you. Giggling at his antics, you link arms with his and he leads you through the restaurant.

Taehyung pats your arm reassuringly before unlinking his from yours as the two of you stop at a table adorned with a set of candles. With another flourish he pulls out one of the chairs at the table for you to sit at.

You look at him, to the romantic table settings, and then to the chair before hesitantly sitting down.

"Ok Tae, what is going on?"

He just grins that boxy smile of his before moving back into the kitchen, leaving you to sit anxiously at the table. Your fingers fiddle together before a figure steps out from the kitchen.

A quiet gasp escapes you as you take in the man dressed in black walking slowly your way. He's wearing his normal working attire just like Taehyung, the black button up shirt, black slacks with belt; but this time the top few buttons are undone showing you a tease of skin. The sleeves are rolled up showing off his strong tattooed arms that he knows you admire.

And he's holding a bouquet of red tulips and orange blossoms.

"J-Jungkook..I..what are you..."

You turn in your seat, about to stand before he motions you to stay sitting. He kneels in front of you and takes your hand in his. He brings it up to his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he places a delicate kiss on the back of your palm.

You feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest, blood flushes to your head and it feels really hot all of a sudden. He holds the flowers for you to take without letting your hand go.

"Someone told me you like these."

You take the flowers and breathe them in. "They're perfect."

"Just like you."

Your foot kicks out at him lightly, embarrassed at his words.

"The flowers are telling you to believe me you know. Do you, do you believe in me?"

You see the earnestness in his eyes as he looks at you, remember all of those non-accidental touches as his thumb runs circles on your hands, the sweet words that come out of those perfect lips, the way your heart beats faster every time he's near you and dulls when he is gone. How you dreamed of kissing him as you lick your lips, his eyes following the movement.

"I do."

He leans forward until his lips meet yours in a soft kiss. His lips trace over yours as soft as a petal would. Shyly, you push your lips towards his, continuing the kiss. Your grip on his hands tighten as the hand with flowers seeks the table blindly as your bodies come closer together. His free hand comes to hold the back of your head, tangling itself in your locks to angle your head to deepen the kiss. You can't stop the breathy moan that escapes your lips, making Jungkook smirk into the kiss.

"Ok, time for dessert!"

The yell makes you jump, startled to remember you are not exactly alone. Jungkook groans as he breaks the kiss and glares over his shoulder.

"Jin they were having a moment!" Yells out Yoongi as Jin bustles out of the kitchen carrying two plates of dessert.

"I don't want them to have any more of a moment because I don't want my place of business to become unsanitary with their fruitfulness."

"Don't worry boss, we'll take our fruitfulness somewhere else."

"Oh no you don't, not after Yoongi and I made you these. Now sit down and eat."

You hide your face with a groan. Some things change and then some never do.

#btsghostie #btsghostiebingo #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #florist au #bts fluff #of insults and flowers #my writing

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marvellouslymadmim · 3 years ago

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Hey! Aspiring fanfic writer here; I was wondering if you could talk a bit about your writing/editing process and how long it all takes.

Thanks!

Welp, roughly the same extremely long amount of time it takes to actually answer an ask, tbh 🙃

So...I only know how my brain works, and I can only tell you what works for me might not work for you, and that's OK. I'm breaking into two separate bits, because I almost never do writing and editing at the same time.

And as far as a timeline, honestly it just depends. On life factors, what my hormones are doing at the time (jfc like the week before my period, I have zero creativity, motivation, or attention span), if I'm having trouble with a particular scene, if I'm getting consistent positive feedback (yes, I can totally admit that I write faster when I know a particular reviewer is following along with every update), etc.

WRITING:

First, you gotta just...be fixated, I guess. Particularly if it's an AU, I sit with it for a long time before I ever write a word. I go over scenes, think about how the world changes, what stays the same, what *has* to stay the same to keep the characters true to their canon personalities. I sit with the characters for a long time, too--not just the main characters, but the supporting cast, too. In order to predict someone's future, you have to know their past. Most of our present actions are actually reactions to past events, when you think about it. The better you know your version of the character, the easier every other aspect of writing will be. I don't know how it is for other people, but I don't ever "feel" like I'm writing. I feel like I'm "witnessing", and the characters are simply doing whatever they wish. (***this is gonna be a thing during the editing process, too, so hang on to that)

Then once I have a general idea, I choose a title. Generally, I do not even start a word document until I have a proper title to put on it. The title is part of the theme and aesthetic to me, and it grounds me in the overall arc.

Once that's done, it's time for outlining. I generally wait until I feel this weird almost tingling in my left arm (weirder still bc I'm right handed) and I'm practically vibrating with a need to WRITE THIS STORY NOW. Then I put on some Bear McCreary (honestly, any videogame soundtrack will do, as they are literally designed to help you maintain focus and keep pace) and fucking go to town. For me, it helps to do this with pen and paper, so that I can go back up and squiggle little notes in the margin, rearrange the order, etc, far faster than I could on a computer.

Important note: the outline is not the end-all be-all. Some things don't make it to the final print. Some minor storylines get tossed or characters simply...take a different path than I expect. I will continue re-writing and updating the outline as I go along. On average, I usually have 5-8 outlines per story, and they're often 3-10 pages long. I also have a posted outline, which is a log of all the scenes that did make it to the final product.

Then, it's the actual writing, at long last. I have found that I write best at the start of my day, before the noise and static of daily life comes in. So I wake up around 5am and spend 90minutes writing before beginning my workday routine. I have the Word app on my phone and may continue adding bits in throughout the day at work, if I get a moment. However, after 5pm my brain is usually fried and no more creativity happens. On weekends, I try to have one morning where I "sleep in" til 6am, and then write until at least 10am, sometimes 2pm, if I can get away with it.

The hardest part still is knowing when to transition and when to skip to the next chapter/scene/whatever. This is like...zero percent helpful, but I liken it to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography: "I know it when I see it." It may seem like a scene is circling, and sometimes it means you gotta leave the room a bit earlier bc the scene has already served its purpose. Other times, it means ya gotta stay with it a bit longer, because there's something the character is trying to say. Give them patience, and give yourself patience, too. Explore the scene and its dynamics. You won't know til you know and even then, sometimes you won't be entirely sure. That's ok, too. Part of the process. Remember editing will happen and you can decide then (hell, you can literally re-edit after it's been published, I've done that before too and added a note on the next chapter for any readers who might have read the first version 🤷🏻‍♀️ not ideal but still functional).

EDITING:

I do simple edits (spelling, grammar, etc) just about every morning as I reread what I wrote the day before, which is a refresher course for the day's writing session. But big "real" editing generally doesn't happen until right before posting.

Now, here's the ***issue from writing: sometimes, something just "doesn't work" in a scene. Again, you'll know it when you see it. The words a character is saying feels clunky. The pacing feels off. Something just...ain't right. More often than not, it means either I haven't truly sat with a character long enough to know their true motivations/backstory, or I am not giving characters the proper time/space/impediment to make the actions or say the things they're currently making/saying. I'm trying to force the flow, rather than letting it ebb and breathe when it needs to.

Absolute ProTip: You spent HOURS writing this scene. It's got some REALLY GOOD moments and lines in it. It doesn't work but you can't just delete it. It's your LIFE. I struggle with this A LOT, and I have found a solution: create a second "outtakes" document to cut and paste those scenes into. Sometimes I still keep moments or bits of dialog. Sometimes I later use bits in a later scene. Sometimes I never look at it again but I still feel secure in knowing that if I wanted to go back and use the original scene instead, I totally can. I don't think I've actually ever gone back to the original, tbh, but it reduced my anxiety about deleting the scene and starting over.

So back to the scene that doesn't work. I take it apart, figure out *at what exact point* it stops working, then work back up a few lines to see where the shift actually begins. More often than not, it's because I'm having characters express their feelings in ways they actually wouldn't. (people very very very rarely actually say what they're thinking/feeling, and you have to relay it in other ways). So I have to keep the internal monologue of what they're actually feeling/thinking, while figuring out how that actually translates via tone, body language, and what they do and don't say.

The "something ain't working stage" can take LITERAL WEEKS. I sometimes have to walk away for awhile, or tackle it only on days when I know I have hours upon hours to truly work on it. I keep circling back around, and eventually, the knot works itself out. Persistence, and insistence that "good enough" isn't actually good enough, are key. (this is why you have to fixated on the story you want to tell--because some days, it's going to take every ounce of that obsession to keep you going and keep you on the track of telling the story you wanted to tell, rather than settling or switching to an easier tack)

Sometimes, editing is a breeze. I don't change much, I may go a little more into the character's inner world here or there. Once you've been doing this for awhile, you'll just know when a story hits all its marks--and you'll also know when it's not, when it could be more or do more, and you can figure out how to get it there. There isn't a precise formula for it, it's more like cooking without an actual recipe to follow--a dash here, a bit there, you'll know it when you taste it.

And I'll leave you with this unsolicited bit: just write. Write often, write about everything, write what makes YOU passionate and happy, and absolutely write for yourself. Edit the fuck out of it, if you need to. Get a beta reader, if you need to. Get someone to just bounce ideas off, if you need to. And don't post it until you're truly ready and it's something you genuinely want to share. If someone gives constructive criticism, take in on the chin and move on (keep the notes, if you think they're valid, and toss em if you don't--you'll never be everyone's style of writer, so know that sometimes, people just won't be the target audience). Know that you'll grow and you'll learn and you'll find your own voice and like any skill, you'll develop a second nature about it--all those parts where I say "you'll know it when you see it" or "you'll feel it" absolutely come from spending a literal lifetime (28 years) writing stories, and thirteen years of writing fanfic in particular. It's ok if you don't see it or feel it right away. It takes practice. And you will have an audience at every skill level, no matter what (finding that audience? different story altogether...).

All totaled, this process can take anywhere from 3months to over a year. Stories are like children, I've found: they each develop at their own pace, and some may need more time and assistance than others. But they're still pretty wonderful. (except the bratty stories. they're the worst 🙄)

#thanks anon!#asks #writing asks #writing reference #i guess?#i hope it helps!!#fic writing

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