#bitches be thirsty

[ancano]

So I was having a chat with my sister about plants and forgot the word "succulent". So I told her I once "killed a succubus by underwatering it"

[stabby-apologist]

Ima smash that kudos button so hard, you’ll feel it through your goddamn computer screen.

POST YOUR SMUT, I beg of you!!

Smut fic on AO3 always seems to have a way lower kudos to hits ratio than non-smut fic; because a larger percentage of people reading feel ashamed to attach their screen name to a kudos on an adult fic.

Which is a shame, really.

If you're posting smut, never let yourself be disappointed in the number of kudos.

[vap3princ3ss]

I may have adhd & forget almost everything important I should be doing, but I never forget to drink water - I got my comfort container on me at all times. hydrated 24/7/365.

[vampiricvenus]

Me: *Currently talking to one of my severely ill Palestinian friends stuck in Gaza trying very hard to walk a fine line between talking him out of his intense suicidality vs not invalidating his very justifiable feelings of hopelessness and dread.*

Some random fuck who tooOooOootally cares about Palestinians: We can't be exposed to the suffering of your """""friend""""" (if he's even real!) 24/7, or else WE will be the ones running on fumes!!!! No, I won't donate to him btw. I'm a good person and the real victim in all of this, just so you know.

[gunsatthaphan]

Bison left this for what?? 🫠🫠🫠

[mmothmanners]

...Astarion gets enthusiastic about feeding sometimes, I guess.

Shadowheart disapproves.

[phlonde-era]

Me: wanting to participate for the video

Also me: realizing 90% of my post are about how pretty Phil is or how I want sister Daniel to walk over me

[witchydykebitch]

Hey yeah if I don't have a sweaty lesbian shoving my face in their bush soon I will perish. Like. I'll simply die if I'm not buried between the thighs of mean hairy dyke asap

[multifandominfj]

Marta was giving her “Girl, you know what you’re doing to me. Are you trying to make me act like a thirsty bitch? I could take you right here in this store, but I don’t want either of us getting caught and I’d rather our first time be special.” eyes.

[cult-of-the-eye]

save me butch wolverine...save me...

[darkaquarius93]

watching Hunter x Hunter for the first time

and I'm horny on main for Hisoka? this funny dressed man with his makeup on, much skinnier than my usual tastes, and clearly fond of murder? is it the eyes? is it the velvet voice of Keith Silverstein? is it the way he moves? idk what he has, but ovaries, fallopian tubes, and uterus are all in alignment and pointing at him

he does this:

and my whole reproductive system went: that's the one

[undertakersimps]

Dilf! CEO! Toji x Secretary!reader

In which Toji decides to play with his new secretary.

Not proof read and kinda rushed at the end. But here… some smut for you thirsty bitches

MINORS DNI

The sun peeked through your door as you got ready to leave. A new city, a new job, and most importantly a fresh start for you. As you got in the car memories of your family, your friends, and your ex-husband flooded into your mind. The divorce was ugly. Your friends were his friends, and you felt so alone after. Maybe finally you would be able to put everything behind you.

As you entered the doors of your new job, a nice man greeted you and brought you to what would be your new office for the foreseeable future. Your office was surrounded by glass walls on all sides except the one that led into your boss's office. A placard next to the door read Toji Fushiguro.

You'd heard of him. Who hadn't? He was a tall dark handsome bachelor. Every girl and even the guys thought he was hot. Too bad he’s married with a kid.

You logged into your computer and started working on simple filing work for stacks of paper on your desk. However it didn’t take long before you were noticed by some of your co-workers. A young man strides into your office, and before a word could be spoken, he immediately starts flirting with you, using cheap tactics and gross humor. You weren’t the type to blow people off so you politely smiled and continued working while he spoke.

Lucky for you moments later, the door to your boss’s office swings open and Mr. Fushiguro himself walks out.

“You out. New secretary, my office. Now.”

You nervously got up and walked towards his office as he retreated into the dimly lit room. It was a simple but large office. There was a desk, a couch, and a few lamps. It wasn’t decorated, the only thing in the room was a small framed picture of a young boy on his desk.

“Sweetheart, you don’t seem like the type to be in an office job.”

The new nickname made your thighs clench. The dim lighting perfectly outlined his muscles and beautiful tones. You know it shouldn’t, he’s married for god's sake but it makes your panties dampen.

“Already dumbed out? I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“Huh. Oh sorry, I got lost in thought I guess.”

Toji smirked. “Thinking about what?”

You swallowed thickly. He couldn’t know what you were thinking, right? You quickly made up a thought.

“Thinking about the responsibilities I’m going to have here.”

Toji's composure regained. He seemed to go stone cold again. You couldn’t tell if he believed you or not. But he seemed to drop the topic and start explaining what specifically your job entailed.

He rounded the desk to give you a better look at some paper files he wanted you to input. Before you knew it, his arm was wrapped around your waist and his face was an inch from yours.

“Another responsibility is giving me some… stress relief when I need it.”

You could feel his soft breath on your skin as his lips ghosted your neck. He was slow giving you a chance to push him off but when you didn’t he snaked his thigh up to your crotch and pushed against it. You couldn’t help but whine.

“What’s that princess? Use your words.”

You were starting to get desperate. It’d been forever since you’d been fucked, since long before the divorce. And even then your ex-husband never seemed to satisfy your needs.

“Pleeease.”

Toji tisked at you. Removing his leg, he guided you back around the desk and sat on his chair.

“Strip. Let me see you.”

Uncertain of your movements you slowly start taking off your clothes, starting with your blouse, then your skirt, then your bra and panties. You stood there for a minute under his unreadable eyes, which were scanning up and down your body.

Finally, he pulls his hard cock out of his pants. And starts to slowly stroke it.

“Come sit your pretty pussy on my cock.”

You walk over to him and lower yourself down. It was a stretch. Toji must’ve been twice the size of the last person to fuck you. But it felt so good. You could hear Toji’s quiet moans in your ear as you finally bottom out.

“It’s so tight. Relax.”

After a minute of sitting there you started to get impatient. He started working again, typing at his computer. That’s when an idea popped in your head.

Carefully, you positioned your arms on the rests and tried to lift yourself up. But Toji saw it coming and grabbed your hips and held you there.

“Girls who can’t use their words can’t cum.”

Your eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t be serious. How long would you be like this, wanting for pleasure.

“Please. I'll do anything…”

“As much as I admire your persistence, you are going to stay just like this. On my cock not moving till I decide when you go home.”

And Toji kept his word. The hours past by slowly and painfully. But no matter how much begging you did he didn’t let up. Eventually, you fell asleep on his shoulder.

You woke up on the couch, fully dressed as far as you could tell. You weren’t sure when you fell asleep or how long you’d been there but your work day was over.

You got up and opened the door to his office walking into yours. At your desk was Toji with a giant grin on his face.

“Have you learned your lesson?”

“Yes Mr. Fushiguro. I think I have.”

Suddenly you felt something wet go down your thighs as Toji stood up, panties in hand. Your eyes widened, he took them and came inside.

“I’d hurry home, wouldn’t want anyone to see that dripping down. They might start getting ideas.”

“Maybe next time, fill me up some more? Let them get ideas.”

“Come straight to my office tomorrow. No detours. Maybe I’ll let you cum.”

[thewronglong]

That one friend that you're not horny FOR, you're horny WITH. Like something about this person brings out your inner horn dog just by being another thirsty bitch.

[heavensickness]

I am kinda done with it tbh. My friends are telling me to take it slow & not ask my crush out/make my feelings known yet etc. but I can't play all of those strategic love games. I think I am just gonna sit next to my crush tomorrow and ask him out for coffee after work. Like hey man, ditch your "friend" group of 30 ppl and fuck with me this evening instead. Idc if he or his friend group thinks I am thirsty or that it is weird for me to ask HIM out since I am a girl etc. I just can't be fucked with this anymore

[theartsychiquita]

Guzzle Buddies on Vimeo

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

Joshua Halling woke up and chose VIOLENCE with this post.