#bisexual radfem

[butchpeace]

My older brother is an autogynephilic TIM.

After a long time of trying to hide my real feelings and convince myself to be supportive, I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t do that anymore.

I believe that a main motivation for his transition was jealousy towards me growing up. It’s become increasingly clear that he genuinely just wishes he were me.

He was misogynistic, controlling, talked down to me and treated me like I was stupid during our childhood. As a teenager, he got interested in pedophilic anime. The kind with the characters who look like little girls but are supposed to be high schoolers. He likely became interested in yuri manga at this time - pedophilic anime lesbian porn.

The way he treated me had a very negative effect on my self esteem and mental health as a young woman, and that was part of what led to my trans identification and eventual transition. I hated him. But he had also been part of what shaped my negative self image, and I had internalized it. The idea that I was stupid, not worth the same as he was, that my feelings didn’t matter, that I was a burden on the family. It wasn’t just him, but my childhood in general shaped me into a self-hating young woman who felt like she needed to escape and become something else.

A few years after I began transition, he “came out”. We were living under the same roof at the time, and I was truthfully very uncomfortable. I was on edge all the time, and didn’t feel at home in my own apartment. And I kept trying to push that feeling down because I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought I was being judgmental, that my instincts were wrong and I shouldn’t listen to them. That’s when I started peaking and started to consider detransition. I found a roommate and moved out. And even then I felt guilty, because he whined about not having anyone else to live with.

When he changed his name, he was pissed off that he hadn’t been born female, because he wanted my name. He said this in front of the whole family. That he doesn’t know what name he wants to go by, his only idea was what he would have been named if he were female, which is my name. He ended up choosing one of the most cliche TIM names you can choose. Another time, someone asked him his favorite colors. He told them his favorite colors were the ones I always said were my favorite as a kid. This isn’t a coincidence - It’s a specific list of colors.

These sound like just little things, and most people would brush it off, but they instantly made my brain go into red alert mode. Since then he’s become very outspoken about being a “lesbian”. He talks about wishing he could find a girlfriend, being a “lonely lesbian”, a “useless lesbian”, being “soooo gay”, whatever. He has the flags, he suddenly likes cats despite being allergic and never liking animals at all before. He watches anime and tv shows with lesbian characters and thirsts after characters like Vi from Arcane while talking about his “gender envy”.

He makes objectifying comments about women’s bodies, calls himself and my female family members “bitch”. Infantilizes himself and loves to talk about how “weak” he is. (At 5’11 with a clearly male frame) There are too many things to list honestly. All the ways in which it’s obvious that he has no idea what being a woman actually is. It’s just some concept he made up in his head, a male fantasy of what womanhood entails.

We’ve only seen each other a few times a year at most in the years since then, and I’ve just tried to avoid and ignore and not engage in conversations with him. All the while he acts nice, like he never treated me like shit growing up, as if being trans was his problem and “becoming a woman” fixed him. As if I’m the one being unreasonable for being distant and not having a close relationship.

I’m seeing more and more clearly how hollow it all is. How fake it all is. How probably perverted it all is. He was a harmful influence on my life. And now he acts like he’s a woman, and it’s hollow, and somehow he thinks that means it’s all erased and forgiven.

We’re both grown adults now, and he only physically hurt me once as a kid, but growing up seeing him fly into a rage every time I didn’t agree with him still makes me afraid of the threat of violence from him. That’s part of why it’s hard to speak up and why it’s still uncomfortable to be around him.

The crazy thing is that I know multiple detrans women who have TIM older brothers. I’ve heard from other women that there seems to be a trend of lesbians in general with TIM older brothers. There’s a pattern here, and it’s not a good one.

We need to be talking about this. Stop the silence 📣

[museumofferedophelia]

The patriarchy cannot motivate an otherwise innately good man to assault, rape or kill a woman, like people seem to want to believe. The cruelty must already be in him. He fuels the patriarchy with his actions, and the patriarchy serves to endorse his cruelty and provide him with the means to successfully execute it, but doesn't create his depravity in the first instance. The patriarchy cannot psychically compel a “soft, gentle man” to go against his true nature and become a violent rapist, he must already have the capacity to be one.

That’s why I criticise the way the “patriarchy” has evolved into a convenient scapegoat that redirects blame away from men and towards a toxic ideology instead. It’s become a catch-all invisible boogeyman that obfuscates the true perpetrators and benefactors of male violence and aggression. A mysterious force that can apparently compel otherwise good men to commit atrocities.

That it's the reason why 90% of murders, 99% of sexual assaults, and 95% of domestic abusers are men. That men have no personal culpability, really- it's nurture, not nature.

It turns the issue of male violence into a general societal problem that everyone’s complicit in, and everybody suffers equally from. It’s become a passive way of discussing the sex-based oppression women face.

People seem to forget that the patriarchy is directly tied to men. It was created by men, for the benefit of men, and relies on the participation of men.

[autismhotpot]

The fact that the most biphobic mfs out there nowadays are BISEXUALS THEMSELVES is crazy

Imagine being SO desperate to call yourself anything BUT bisexual. Bisexuals would rather call themselves gay/lesbian or queer OR just make up some bullshit ass terms like omnisexual, pansexual, polysexual whatever like that shit is any different

MF YOU ARE BISEXUAL⁉️ WHY ARE YOU DENYING IT, ARE YOU EMBARRASSED OR SOMETHING ⁉️

[pillarsalt]

LGBeetles

[redditreceipts]

moids can't cope with the fact that women don't have to get tons of plastic surgery, put on makeup, wear expensive clothes etc. just to be seen as a woman from 10 meters distance with squinting eyes

[wombmoth]

Gonna be honest i think bi women have bigger problems than lesbians not thinking we are gay enough.

Can we talk about our abuse rates which are higher than both gay and straight women?

Our higher risk of being assaulted? Substance abuse?

And about how being seen by general society (especially men) as a hypersexual nympho with no sexual boundaries, plays a huge role in that?

Like I do think biphobia or bi specific discrimination, whatever you wanna call it, IS a thing. I just don't think that lesbians not thinking we are gay enough really falls under that...nor do I think it is a priority, or will ever be a productive conversation to have.

Like not to mention that we arent...gay...we are bi...and that's fine? But that's besides the point anyway.

And i may be going out on a limb here and overanalyzing, but i kind of think this over obsession with being perceived *exactly* as you want to be perceived by others is actually a pretty big symptom of female socialization.

I've just never seen bi men going at it with gay men about how gay men don't think they're gay enough. Which makes sense because I think it's overall a really fruitless conversation and to be blunt, a waste of time to discuss. I've seen this discourse circulate over the past 10 years on radblr and I've literally never seen it go anywhere. Not once.

Like who gives a shit. We aren't gay. That's fine. Whether some random lesbian across the country thinks I'm gay enough is honestly the least of my worries.

[vvitchscvm-deactivated0666]

why are there suddenly a bunch of "radfems" who believe in biphobia

"biphobia" is what bisexuals accuse homosexuals of when we correctly point out your OSA privilege.

it has never been used as a credible description of an axis of oppression because there is no axis on which gay people oppress bisexuals.

let me be reiterate: there is no axis of oppression on which homosexuals oppress bisexuals.

what you are calling "biphobia" is the vocabulary of fed-up gays who have had our movement and often personal lives hijacked predominantly not by str8 people but gender-conforming college bisexuals with a complex about Not Being Gay Enough yet still too intimidated to try and eat pussy.

"Bisexuals will betray you" "bisexuals will use you for sex but not date you" "bi women will traffick lesbians to their male partners on request" "bi women will keep secret boyfriends and spring them on you"

NONE OF THAT is biphobia. Every last one of those things has happened to me and every other dyke I know and I've seen many make the news.

Who doesn't remember the post going around about polyamory wherein a lesbian opened up about her bi female partner luring, blackmailing and attempting to traffick her to a waiting man over the span of a YEAR?

The woman who left a decade-long lesbian relationship, immediately got engaged to a man and named her baby after her female ex? How about the woman who lied about being gay for some fifteen years only to remove their child from her wife's adoptive custody and give the child to a new male partner?

How about the one where a bisexual woman lured dozens of women to her home from lesbian dating apps for her boyfriend to spring himself on them in a sexual assault? How many victims was that? Seventy?

I see this shit once a fucking week. I see it in real life once a month. Have yall seen the Her app lately!!

Often I am victim to it in a corporate setting, because you cretinous yahoos have made my man-worshiping het-partnered bisexual female boss and co-workers believe bisexuals cannot perpetuate homophobia, and now I'm not allowed to call women in my kitchen "honey" anymore. Because it was bi women accusing me of flirting with them in addition to straight. This happened to me last month! That's not even counting the nasty way we get treated by bisexuals on this very platform!

That is what you fuckers do to gay people and especially gay women.

"Biphobia" is a liberal invention meant to silence homosexual critique of our most personally involved community-dwelling sex pests and predators.

It's fucking "transmisogyny" all over again. A fake oppression to shield an oppressor from responsibility to the oppressed.

Stop policing homosexual vocabulary when we criticize our oppressors. Every other minority group has the right to shit on the people who oppress them.

I see y'all making that argument about women and men all the time. Don't you dare dish what you cannot take.

Bisexuals oppress homosexuals.

If it seems like all the gays you meet are "biphobic", consider you may be the problem!

[womenaremypriority]

Being a bisexual women who never feels quite right being in relationships with men, who feels sexual attraction to them but never is able to cross that emotional gap with actual men, who feels butterflies in her stomach with women more than with men, who feels more real and grounded in relationships with women, is insanely lonely and painful. Realizing that this description fits you after a long-term relationship with a man is incredibly painful and I don’t disbelieve this could happen- telling yourself you’ll find the right guy eventually, settling for a man you at least care about and feel fondness towards, trying to get yourself through sex, maybe enjoying it occasionally, guilting yourself into staying with him until suddenly, years have passed, the whole time telling yourself the problem is with you. It’s hard to find words for it. Considering most people will want an excuse for leaving him, it’s a lot easier to claim you’re lesbian. Being bisexual may not even cross your mind, and it might feel easier to mentally move on and choose relationships with women if you say you’re a gay. But none of this makes you a lesbian. Women who don’t feel any attraction to men, who only desire to be with women for their whole life exist, have a different experience than women who feel attraction to men, and deserve a word for themselves. Women who feel attraction to men, but prefer women, who feel whole and complete with other women, who are more sexually awake with other women, who feel an ache for a life with other women more deeply in their soul, exist too. You don’t need an excuse to leave a man. You don’t need to justify yourself to people who think you should be able to get through a relationship with a man if you’re bisexual. You don’t need to be a lesbian for your decision to be final, real, and respectable. Multiple feelings can exist in one person- you are not broken or wrong for feeling simultaneous attraction and disgust towards male bodies. It is not pitiful or shallow or inane to never date a man for this. And you do not need to fix yourself to live a fulfilling life.

[wings-of-flying]

bringing back the let jay flirt with men too initiative in full force

[nix-that-rad-lass]

🌈Happy Pride Month🌈

🌸To the lesbians told they are transphobic for refusing biological males

🌸To the lesbians hiding their true orientation for fear of discrimination from the same movement claiming to support them

🌸To the lesbians who wonder if maybe it would be easier to identify out of it and pretend they are a man in a woman’s body

🌸To all the lesbians feeling left behind by mainstream pride

🌈Happy pride month🌈

🌻To the gay men called transphobic for refusing biological females

🌻To the gay men who hide their true selves to appease their peers idea of how they ought to be

🌻To the gay men who wonder if maybe they should give in and try to change yet again

🌻To all the gay men feeling left behind by the mainstream pride

🌈Happy pride month🌈

🌺To the bisexuals who are told they are transphobic for refusing someone that believes in outdated gender roles as an identity

🌺To the bisexuals told they aren’t gay enough to be LGB and aren’t straight enough to be “normal”

🌺To the bisexuals who feel like they don’t fit and are always having to change and hide bits and pieces of themselves to be accepted

🌺To all the bisexuals feeling left behind by the mainstream pride

🌈Happy pride month🌈

🌼To the dysphoric people told their bodies are wrong and should be medically harmed

🌼To the dysphoric women and girls seeking to escape the trauma of sexism and misogyny

🌼To the dysphoric men seeking to escape the trauma and toxicity that seems to infest most masculinity

🌼To all the dysphoric people feeling left behind by the mainstream pride

🌈Happy pride month🌈

💐To all the people whose identities aren’t just an identity, but a part of them, a biological reality

💐To all the people who reject ‘queer’ because same sex attraction and dysphoria are not strange or weird

💐To all the people told to follow a political movement that claims to support them despite actions showing otherwise

💐To all the people left harmed by the medical industry as it preys upon individuals with dysphoria or those struggling to come to terms with their sexuality

💐To all the people told that their desire for simple acceptance and normalcy is politically incorrect

🌈Here’s to a pride month for everyone, and a hope for a better future for all- regardless of ones orientation, presentation, or politics🌈

[haystarlight]

Hey I know you're all trying to be humorous but can we fucking stop with the jokes that are like "all men are horrible at sex always and only lesbians can keep women satisfied"??

They're not funny anymore

And I'm not just saying that because I'm a bisexual with a boyfriend and I love guys just as much as I love ladies

I'm also saying this because I bet there are lesbians that are bad at sex, too! Especially if they've come out of the closet very recently and have never been with another woman before

And also, gender identity and biological sex are fluid and complicated and don't always match and these jokes forget about that

[killyourlocalmisogynist]

hey guys so i took some time off of tumblr after i suddenly out of the blue magically became sexually attracted to 6 different men. see ive always thought men were hot but not in like a sexual way just like a 🥰 i have eyes way and those eyes can see a sexy hot man when they spot one🥰 so this was was obviously a total shock. so yeah from now on this is going to be a bisexual positivity page. hope everyone can accept that. maybe i return to lesbianism in the future but for right now my boyfriend makes me the happiest 🫶🤭🙈😘

[museumofferedophelia]

A lot of "queer" culture is deeply intertwined with the emergent "what about me?" culture, which is centred around people believing that every single conversation and post on the internet has to relate to them or reflect them in some measure- and if something doesn't, it's exclusionist, or exposes some deep-seeded issue in society.

I'll give you some examples:

There'll be a post talking about enjoying intimacy with a partner, how sex can be so special and sensual. And it'll get flooded with asexuals talking about "allonormativity" and asking why society "revolves around icky sex," and how "we need to cultivate a culture that isn't so centred around sex, asexuals exist too."

Someone will post about how special it is to find "the one" and share your life with them. And a bunch of "polyamorous" people will insert themselves, complaining about how "you can share your life with more than one person," and "just people forgetting polyam people exist," and "mononormativity and polyam ersaure."

A lesbian will post about how she's happy that she'll never have a pregnancy scare, and will jokingly talk about how doctors are always confused when she tells them that. And a bunch of "trans lesbians" or women dating "trans lesbians" chime in being like "well, about that..." or "trans lesbians are valid" or "cisnormative terf, lesbians like girldick."

I think people are too immature and narcissistic to realise that people are talking about their own experiences. Not everything is meant FOR YOU. If it doesn't reflect you, ignore it and move on.

And if you want to see more representation that reflects you, go create your own rather than harassing people whose life experiences are vastly different to yours.

Not everything has to be about you.

[burningtheroots]

No one is saying that trans-identified people cannot or should not find love with a romantic partner.

We are just saying that same-sex attraction is REAL, and that lesbian and bi women‘s same-sex attraction and boundaries NEED to be respected. And the meaning of homosexuality (exclusive same-SEX attraction) should not be taken away.

Women can say "NO" at any point, for any reason. Women do NOT owe anyone romantic or sexual intimacy, under zero circumstances. And when a woman simply doesn’t like male genitalia, or male anatomy as a whole, that‘s not a "preference", "fetishism" or "bigotry", it‘s her sexual orientation and her natural right.

[newwavesylviaplath]

idk maybe i'm too sensitive or whatever but ive seen MULTIPLE of those '2025 prediction' lists where the number one thing they list is something along the lines of "chappell roan gets cancelled for dating a cis het man" and it just feels like. so gross to me. because we finally have femme lesbian representation in mainstream media and the first thing people do is project their disbelief. idk i know there are worse things going on in the world right now but it rubs me the wrong way. i think it's because it feels almost like when u come out to family members and they day that you "just haven't met the right guy yet". it's so dismissive and further feeds into this belief that lesbians who are feminine presenting aren't really gay enough.

this is also very reminiscent of how earlier this year whenever news outlets/tabloids/whatever would talk about chappell (as well as renee rapp) they would only refer to her as 'queer' she's not queer. she's a lesbian. it's not a bad word, so why are these people so hesitant to use it? (the answer is because they're uncomfortable with the existence of women who don't lead men centric lives. even someone who identifies as queer can be into men, they are invalidating lesbians identities because it's easier for them to accept these people if there's still some possibility of them being interested in men)

[redditreceipts]