#bird puns

[bokunokamijirou]

hi! can i request a dabi smau? reader has known him since before dabi days and he just collected them once and they really love the league members!

Stuck like Glue! // Dabi/Touya x f!reader SMAU

(also ft. Keigo briefly as a… wingman ;)…)

thanks for the request! I looooved writing this hehe. I haven’t written dabi before yet so this was so fun!!

he thinks he's so slick with it too, but he's ridiculously down bad

[mckenzieyoungart]

Let the record show that crows still scare the shit out of me.

[melissajanart]

Christmas Quackers!

[sloth-with-a-knife]

Chicken: *Makes a chicken sound*

Me: I've had enough of this fowl language

[glisteningreverie]

Hey did you guys hear about the parrot that escaped math class?

Polygon.

[elliottnotyet]

I made a card for my cousin. I think I could have done better but she's three so I hope she likes it.

[Image ID: a card that has a colored pencil drawing of soup in a blue bowl under the words "How Much Soup do you feed a Bird?" End ID]

[Image ID: an open card a toucan behind two cans labeled "toucans". On the other side, it says "Happy Birthday! ZOE. I have enclosed some stickers for you to use at your own discretion. Sincerely, Elliot." End ID]

[artisticly-autistic]

Been making some bird-themed Valentines Day cards hehehe

[somegalsandagame]

Tonight the Gals are back with more Half Life 2, join as they figure out how a bird breaks into a pub: with a crowbar! Caw!

Starting @ 9:15-9:30pm CST

[uncroppedsoop]

can a white chick who flap around (thermal riding style) be considered as fly?

[manygeese]

my friends are tired of my bird puns. what they don’t know is that critics are raven about them

[mcyt-as-birds]

everytime you reblog my art, i get so excited <3 best blog - fakier, a bird enjoyer

holy shit it’s fakier!! I am so glad you enjoy it because I LOVE your art and it takes everything in me to not endlessly scroll and assign birds to every piece. I was wondering if I was doing too much! That Xisuma design is so *chefs kiss* perfect for my mission to assign Weirder Birds.

[whiteboardjokes]

[melissajanart]

Here's your Christmas Pheasant!

[bingusboingo]

I’m gonna make you egret ever messing with me

[someoneq]

gif description: two people clapping /end description

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

[2649901]