#billy thinks its hilarious

[thewildchilde]

Harringrove agreeing to an open relationship when Billy goes off to college since they both have very high sex drives. He comes home for the holidays and everyone is wondering how Steve, who hasn't really slept around/hasn't found anyone who really catches his interest like Billy does, can handle knowing that Billy probably slept around a heap at college and Steve just shrugs and says "I'm just wondering if I can guess how many people he's fucked, like one of those 'guess how many jellybeans in the jar' games."

[bruhstation]

this man is fighting his own war and he has no rules, no boundaries, he doesn't flinch at arson, kidnapping, or illegal demolition. he's not loyal to a flag or a fleet or any set of ideals. he trades blood for money. he's sunshine's best friend.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

[chaoticallyfluffy]

Silly Billy & Pocket Home?

"Silly Billy" is a compilation of the Shazamilly calling marvel "Silly Billy" in front of various other heros. If he had a heart in this form it would stop everytime because his family is literally saying his name in front of a bunch of people who dont know his identity and it takes him a second to realize he wasnt just exposed. he tries so hard to hide his panic but hes a terrible actor and his family thinks its hilarious. The Justice League think its just a childish nickname and not his actual name but Cap acts so weird every time? Does he think 'silly billy' is an insult or something?

Not sure if I’ll ever finish this one. There’s not much I can do with a single joke lol. The other fic, however…

—-

"Pocket home" has a bit more of a plot to it.

Billy needs a place to sleep. The rock of eternity is far too dangerous to be unconscious in thanks to the many monsters lurking in its halls, and the abandoned buildings he used to use are unsafe for similar reasons after the police start patrolling the poorer parts of Fawcett to chase away the homeless and arrest them through the night. So Billy learns how to create a pocket dimension. It’s safe from monsters and people alike and can be used as a place to store his things without risking them being stolen so he lives there from then on. Over the years his collection of items grows, as does his need to hoard even more…

A few years later…

While in a spaceship on their way to a distant star, an unexpected enemy attacks the ship. The justice league, not expecting any trouble for at least a few days, is not prepared to enter space and will all die when the ship is broken in approximately five seconds. With no time to think about consequences, Billy tosses them all into a pocket dimension, staying out to fight the unknown threat that ambushed and destroyed the most well protected spaceship in the Milky Way in seconds- all by himself.

The league is disoriented and dizzy from unexpected dimension travel and so It takes them a moment to realize they weren’t sucked into space like they by should’ve been. They look around to see where they ended up- an infinitly large void. They are standing on nothing with stars visible from all directions, almost like they’re floating or standing on some kind of invisible barrier. There are no visible walls, but a short distance away there’s a section full of items including a bed, a stuffed tiger, and many many boxes full of items. Almost like someone lives here.

Did Marvel just punt them into the void? Specifically his home in the void?

Cue the justice league snooping through the items in an attempt to find a way out.. With the sheer amount of stuff there is here it’s gonna take a while, but it’s been hours now and Captain Marvel still hasn’t come to let them out so they likely won’t be caught any time soon.

…that’s definitely something they should be worried about.

The fic follows the justice league as they try to find a way to survive in this strange place while searching for a way out to save their friend. If there’s any friend left to save, that is, and with every second they sit there with no sign of rescue the less likely that seems. Watch as they slowly piece together the life of their most mysterious friend, one trinket at a time.

(Details may change drastically. I think this fic has a lot of potential and if it takes me completely rewriting it to reach that potential, so be it!)

[rigginsstreet]

billy and steve both babysitting holly for whatever reason (or steves babysitting and billys just tagging along cuz he wants some time with his boyfriend dammit) and holly having a meltdown cuz she wants mcdonalds and steves like "no your mom said no junk food!" which only makes holly wail louder and starts up a chant of "chi! cken! nu! ggies! chi! cken! nu! ggies!" that billy joins in on because hes a little shit who thinks this whole thing is hilarious.

so its billy and holly banging their fists on the coffee table chanting about chicken nuggies over and over until steve feels like his brains about to bleed out through his ears and he yells, which gets the two to shut up. until billy looks at him all stonefaced like "i believe the young lady wants chicken nuggies, steven"

and thats how the three of them end up driving half an hour out of town to the closest mcdonalds, holly in the backseat of the beemer happily eating her chicken nuggies while billy wolfs down 3 apple pies and steves angrily and loudly slurping a giant coke and shoving french fries into his mouth

[gorjee-art]

Your concept of The Lamb is great. I really like its design and story.

However, I wonder if The Lamb is aware of his past lives? Does he remember those he left and have any feelings towards them? Does he happen to miss anyone?

I like to imagine that Lamb once they do ascend, is pretty much just- nature! Kind of like a state of nirvana, the closest I imagine to how the Elder God's internal thought process goes is Jake in Nirvana! Or even Master Oogway in the Spirit Realm (as they are both huge inspirations for how I go about Lamb's interpretation)

That pure state of no longer needing any mortal vices, free from emotion except bliss, just...light! Their life is over, they died, they've become something much more and their soul is at peace. Vengeance has been served and forgiveness was given, they have nothing that binds them to keep living anymore, no more unfinished business. Many followers seem to forget that their leader...is dead! Undead, more accurately through the power of the One Who Waits, but regardless they're hollow, cold, and don't need to eat nor sleep. Once the crown overtakes them, that's it! Finito! Granted:

@vxredemption's fanfic has got me thinking of possible ways to "awaken" Lamb during that Elder God state, as even Jake was tempted with...hilariously. Gum. A mortal vice. Mayhaps with strong emotion, or plea, or overall something just as silly as gum of all things, can temporarily return lamb's silly billy ways as a spirit comes to visit relatives.

In short, they don't remember...but they can, the question is...how!

[weird-an]

Steve is such a bad liar.

Robin would be insulted, if it wasn't so funny. He bitches about Hargrove coming in at Scoop's and teasing him about the shitty uniforms every day. He claims to be annoyed by Billy nearly crawling over the counter to stare at his thighs, while not having asked out any of the pretty girls that had only eyes for him since it started. He talks about boobs every day but can't stop ogling Billy's chest. Well, to be fair Billy's shirts are always unbuttoned.

Still, Steve complains about it. It's hilarious and sad at the same time.

"I swear Robin," Steve says for like the fifth time in a few minutes. "I'll punch him in the face tomorrow."

Robin rolls her eyes. Like Steve's going to do anything else than nearly drooling on the sundaes. "Yeah, sure."

"What?" Steve puts his hands on his hips, reminding Robin of an upset, overworked dad. "I already did it. I'll do it again"

That's it. It's one thing that Steve is lying to himself, but lying to her face? No fucking way.

"Dingus, you stare at him every time he comes here." Robin gives him another point on the You suck board. "You're into him."

"I'm not staring." Steve purses his lips, face turning a little red. "And I'm not-"

"Well, he's into you."

"He is?" Steve clears his throat. "I mean... I don't think he is."

Robin gives him a day to let sink it in. The next time Billy comes to Scoop's its so blindingly obvious. Steve has to see it.

Billy made his hair. Fluffy curls, bouncing around his head, shirt held by one tiny button, showing off the shadow of his nipples. Robin wonders how much time he spent getting ready.

They're both hopeless, Robin thinks.

"Steve has to talk to you," she snaps before any of them can say anything. "In the break room."

"What?" Steve turns to her.

She's so fucking done with them. Boys are stupid.

"In. The. Break. Room." Robin points at the door. "Now."

"Welcome to Scoop's Ahoy," she says to the girl behind Billy, flashing her a smile.

Steve and Billy stay away for an hour. Robin gets a bit worried. Maybe she has been wrong and they're killing each other back there. Scoop's new flavor is going to be interesting.

Finally they come out. Well, Billy stumbles a little.

"Bye Buckley," he says, not looking at her. His hair has even more volume than before. There's a bite mark on his pec.

Jesus, she just wanted them to talk. Boys are idiots. Robin is glad she isn't into them. She's never eating her lunch again in that room.

Steve has a dazed impression on his face, grinning like he does when they smoke too much pot.

"I... " he pauses. "I owe you."

[maxwellatoms]

Hiya Maxwell!

I would like to ask about the inspiration behind Endsville? Aside from the constant supernatural activities that plagues the daily life of its residents, I’m curious to where you get the inspiration from involving any town’s symbolism/history? Like is there a town that has its own curse; where things were normal until one day shit hit the fan and before you know it there’s armageddon at your doorstep? 

Y’know, kinda like Centralia in Pennsylvania - a coal mining settlement turned ghost town due to an incident with the poisonous gas fumes from a fire mine - which inspired Silent Hill series.

I hope this question sparks some interesting answers!

P.S. What's with the volcanoes in the background?

P.S.S. R.I.P Cartoon Network studios.

P.S.S.S. I like apple sauce.

Those are reactor cooling towers, but I understand why you'd think they're volcanoes. That's my bad.

Endsville was supposed to be the Everytown of your average Crapsack World. I've always been fascinated by urban decay and I'd just come from art school in Philly, which at the time was a wreck South of City Hall. And Northeast of City Hall. And if you went far enough West, it was also sort of shit. And if you went East you'd hit New Jersey. At the time it was just an all-around no win situation, and a big inspiration for Endsville.

Philly also had a generic brand with the classic blue and white labeling, which I thought was hilarious. I'd seen the same thing in Repo Man, but I didn't know it was a real thing. The generic brand inspired the color-scheme for Billy & Mandy's school and school uniforms in the later seasons.

[noras-dc-shenanigans]

Shifter Billy/Captain Marvel

Billy was born with the ability to shape shift into a scrappy orange tabby cat. His ears and canines remain sharper than normal, and his eyes do the flashy thingy in the dark along with night vision. He can also hiss, purr, and growl.

Captain Marvel also has these features, but shifts into a large tiger. I mean LARGE, like horse sized.

The League just thinks the teeth and ears are from the magic, then they all get a small heart attack when they ask him to meet them somewhere at night and turn around at a snap! and just see the floating eye glare much higher than a normal predator would be.

Now they think he’s some sort of eldritch being in human shape, especially when they hear him actually growl a few times.

I have two ways his tiger form could be revealed, both equally hilarious:

1. The league has to fight Klarion, Teekl takes on their saber tooth form, and Marvel just straight-up snarls and launches, and when they collide in the middle suddenly two huge orange cats are just ripping into each other. Teekl has larger teeth, but Tiger Marvel is just larger, and as long as Teekl is distracted they can’t help Klarion so the League is able to beat him. He takes off, calling Teekl to follow, and Wonder Woman has to lasso Tiger Marvel when he tries to chase after them. He’s in Hunt Mode.

2. They have to fight demons, but they turn out to be immune to magic, so Marvel gets taken down, but then there’s a flash and suddenly this huge tiger is rolling around with the demon and just rips its throat out. And proceeds to keep doing so for the rest of the fight. Then after the battles over the tiger flashes into Captain Marvel, who has blood all over his mouth and nails and a look on his face that wouldn’t look misplaced on a satisfied house cat, after eating your pet bird.

But this leads to scenes where someone will walk around on the watchtower and find this giant tiger just napping in all of those strange places where you’d expect to see a house cat.

But with a tiger.

The Sidekicks love him though, they like to pile on to take naps, lulled into a peaceful sleep by the rumbling purrs and the knowledge that they are safe.

——————————————————————————

As you will notice, I like the point ears/fangs look for Marvel. You will be seeing plenty more.

[clueless-fan-critic]

Barbie: Yeah, I’m a Guy Who Watched the Barbie Movie.

Sooooo... I’ve watched the Barbie movie. And I am a man. So deal with it.

What is the Barbie Movie?

Basically, the Barbie Movie is about... well, Barbie. Everything pink and feminine as far as the eye can see. The movie itself however is taking it in a far different direction.

The film’s director Greta Gerwig is basically a surprising director to have for the film. Gerwig is known for her female-driven movies like Ladybird and Little Women to name a few. So it’s no surprise that Barbie is on a journey of self-discovery about her identity as a woman and a Barbie.

There’s also this whole Barbenheimer meme going on, but I’m talking about Barbie.

After Watching...?

The Barbie Movie is both a jaunty jab at the stereotypes of both male and female roles and Mattel, as well as a beautifully hilarious film thanks to Margot Robbie’s portrayal as the classic or stereotypical Barbie. Robbie’s Barbie goes though a transformation from the definitive Barbie to a fully grown being. Her existence is put into question as she learns more and more about the real world and the harsh truths that come with it. She slowly discovers that she’s more than a Barbie, but an actual person with autonomy and choice.

America Ferrera kills it as a lover of Barbie who had to live with Barbie’s standards in the real world. Ferrera gives a powerful speech about the constant frustrations of what it’s like to be a woman, perfectly encapsulating the highs and lows of the gender in a completely human way. Ferrera is the perfect person to take on this role based on her work from Ugly Betty and Superstore, showing more humanly real traits than superficial perfection.

Ryan Gosling’s Ken as an antagonist made a lot of sense once you think about the theme of film. Ken is essentially the butt of the joke that Barbie takes for granted, making him feel inadequate. So when he finds the respect he craved in the real world, he starts to build a “Kendom” for him and his fellow Kens to feel good about themselves and step out of the shadow of the Barbies. It is exactly how we all think would happen if Ken found out about patriarchy.

It basically tackles both ideas of feminism, patriarchy, hyper femininity, and toxic masculinity in this film without making it too preachy or forced in your face or that men are trash and women are perfect. No, it takes those ideas in a way that addresses the flaws in each set of philosophies while not demonizing or glorifying any side. They’re just opposing ideas with their own problems to deal with and some good ideas that are taken too much as fact without common sense.

The scene that moved me the most was Barbie’s choice to become human after experiencing life and having a conversation with the creator of Barbie Ruth Handler. Combined with the haunting Billie Eilish song “What Was I Made For” and flashes of various girls and women living life, it was a beautiful tribute to what Barbie was initially made for: a tribute to a daughter from a mother.

What Was Barbie Made For?

Barbie was made for those who think Barbie is just a doll that goes against modern women and those who believe Barbie to be an inspiring figure to strive, but most of all those who know the full history of a mother-daughter relationship in its creation.

If you love Barbie, you’ll love the movie. If you hate Barbie, you’ll love the movie. If you don’t know Barbie, you’ll love the movie.

[hqlourd]

I've discovered my nemeses... I think. I'm fine with heights and water and fighting made-up monsters in the Star Wars and AHS universes... but I cannot handle horses. Okay, let me correct that before the horse people come at me. I cannot handle riding horses. I get on fine, ride along fine, can even get it to kick up a gear and go a little faster, but dismounting? Mmm, no, not so much. Just went on a little mommy/son date and was high key convinced I was just going to have to live on the horse because I couldn't swing my leg back over its butt to get down. On the plus side, my three-year-old son thought it was hilarious, and everyone nearby got out their phones to record it so you may see it on TMZ. Hi, I'm Billie Lourd, you may know me as a literal human disaster, especially on horseback. How's your week going? @hfrpstarters

[spideyhexx]

diff anon - the cat doesn't like anyone but billy until the cat isn't with him and he finds it purring in your lap as you pet it

YES

anyone that tries to pet his cat either gets a scratch to their hand or the cat will hiss and move closer back to Billy. He thinks it’s hilarious.

Maybe he’s freaking out, trying to find him one day cause had whistled, everything and still can’t find his little cat until he turns a corner and sees you, sitting down in the grass with his cat, aggressively rubbing its face against your hand as you pet it, purring loud enough for him to hear as he walks by. And he’s astonished, but immediately intrigued.

that being how you meet him too

[sharpth1ng]

what would squilliam and shoehorn think of the stab movies?

So in-universe they're considered kind of bad and trashy when they come out, and from what we see they play in to a lot of the cheesy slasher tropes that scream subverts (ex. turning Casey's death into a shower scene for no reason). Later on in the franchise we find out they've developed a cult following, and from what we see of them on screen they're very campy. There's lots of movies IRL that follow this pattern going from bomb to cult classic: Dead Alive, The Thing, Slither, Phantom of the Paradise, ect, ect.

We also know that at least the first 3 Stab movies are directed by Robert Rodriguez who is a real (and kind of awesome) director known for stuff like From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids, Machete, Sin City, and Planet Terror. I genuinely like a lot of his work but its pretty over the top, over campy, silly, fun so I think that gives us a sense of how those first three Stab movies feel.

We also know that Stab 8 was directed by Rian Johnson, director of Knives Out, Glass Onion, and the TV show Poker Face- all stuff that can have a bit of a lighter tone, not devoid of camp, but generally movies that take themselves a little more seriously. To illustrate the difference between these guys I could imagine Rian Johnson actually directing a modern Scream movie, but I can't really see Robert Rodriguez doing the same. This is far from an insult to Robert Rodriguez by the way, I just think his style is better suited to other stuff. So I think probably the later Stab movies feel a bit more like the Scream movies, while the earlier ones exist in a different media space.

To recap, based on what we see in the Scream movies, Stab is a bit cheesy and trashy, pretty campy, but they do ultimately develop an audience later on. So far, this sounds like something Stu would be into tbh, I think he likes the silly stuff as much as the really fucked up stuff, and the fact that its based on his own story would be hilarious to him. Like he would find it so fucking funny that they inserted a random shower scene in for Casey, and he would find his own portrayal by Vince Vaughn to be hilarious.

Billy is another story. I do think that Billy can enjoy a sillier slasher, especially if it has other stuff going for it (eg. gore, creative kills ect, insane body horror), but he can't buy in to the same amount of ridiculousness as Stu can. Beyond that there's the fact that the Stab movies are a bastardization of his story, like Billy already considers the massacre his movie, so the Stab movies are a bad remake to him. I think especially the idea that his killings aren't being taken seriously would aggravate him.

And then there's the fact that he's played by Luke Wilson. And like. Listen. I don't have anything against Luke Wilson, I know very little about him but I know Billy Wouldn't be happy about this:

Honestly I don't know who they could have cast as Billy that wouldn't have pissed him off. I think that as much as he would want the notoriety of his story being adapted into a movie, he would functionally enjoy being portrayed by someone else.

In the context of my writing, where he and Stu survive this is especially true because the Stab movies in Debaserverse will have Billy and Stu as final boys. Realistically this means they'll be shoved into tropey archetypes, a number of which Billy would hate for himself.

Stab is absolutely going to come into play in WoM by the way! I won't go into much detail about that right now but let it be known. There will be Stab.

[andreafmn]

Speak - Chapter 5

Word Count: 3.2K

Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.

Chapter: 5/?

A/N: The long-awaited update is here!!!!!

This chapter is dedicated to @madcatlady for the hilarious ask. It honestly made me laugh 😂😂 I really wanted to make this more of an enemies to lovers (I still can) but soft Paul makes me too happy. Also, the ending for this was gonna be different but I made it into the next chapter If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories. You can request at any time any story or one-shot you desire. Hope you enjoy, and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST

If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here

<- Previous | Next ->

Chapter 5

(Y/N) had gone to bed with anger flowing through her veins. It made her burn up with rage, slowly bubbling up to the surface.

Bella had always been unconsciously selfish in her sister’s opinion. At least, she hoped it was unconscious. To (Y/N), her sister always found a way to make every situation about herself, and everyone allowed it. Her heartbreak had taken over her father’s life, threatened to take over their mother’s, and was slowly snaking its hands around hers. But Bella would not become the center of her life, she could not.

But the next morning, (Y/N)’s anger had seemingly dissipated. Even if Bella believed the world revolved around her, (Y/N) would not let hers do so. At the end of the day, it was Christmas – a day of happiness and forgiveness. She would enjoy it with or without her sister.

The smell of slightly burnt coffee filled her nostrils before she had opened her eyes and she knew her father was already up. Her excitement for the day was again replenished and she readied herself for a long afternoon. It was her first holiday back in the city of Forks, and the first Christmas she’d have in the town. Nothing would stand in the way of a good day.

“Morning, dad,” (Y/N) smiled at the flustered man. He had taken a sip of the scalding coffee. Not only did he burn his tongue, but he had to taste the awful batch. “Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, merry Christmas, honey. I really am a menace in the kitchen.”

“Thankfully not on the grill,” she chuckled. “Why don’t you sit while I make a new batch and a light breakfast?”

“I guess I’m still not used to having you girls here,” he sighed. “Normally I’d just go down to the diner and get some food there. And now that Bella’s like… like that, I’ve had to take care of the food again.” 

“Well, I’m here now. So don’t worry about that,” (Y/N) smiled. “We’ll just take it one day at a time and hope for the best. It’s the only thing we can do.” 

“Then we should get ready soon to go over to Billy’s house,” Charlie responded, resigned. “Were you able to at least convince Bella to come?”

“No. She’s as stubborn as ever.” 

“I really hoped she’d want to come. You both always enjoyed Christmas time.” 

(Y/N) shrugged from the stove, the pan she shook scraping slightly the iron grates. She had hoped that, at least for this holiday, Bella would put her family first. Alas, her teenage angst took over and she was once more glued onto the swivel desk chair, overlooking the backyard. All she wanted was for her family to be together during such a special holiday – especially one that promoted togetherness. But all Bella could do or think of was the idiotic boy that had broken her heart.

"Whatever," (Y/N) spoke abruptly. “She’s the one that’s missing out. If she wants to stay at home and wallow in self-pity, so be it. We cannot let her consume every part of our lives.”

“(Y/N), she’s your sister,” Charlie said. “She’s sad and we can’t just leave her behind.”

“It’s not even for a whole day, dad. She’ll survive a couple of hours of staring out of that window,” she whined. “It’s your day off. It’s Christmas. We’re not gonna spend today trapped in the house because Bella has a bad case of the blues.”

“(Y/N)…”

“Dad,” (Y/N) said sternly. “We are gonna go to Uncle Billy’s house. We are going to celebrate Christmas. Then, we will come back home and find Bella in the same spot. But we deserve — you deserve — to put her in the back of our minds for a couple of hours and enjoy ourselves. And that’s an order, sheriff.”

“Alright, you win, (Y/N),” Charlie chuckled slightly. “And thanks again for breakfast. I promise one day I’ll get the hang of it.”

“There won’t be any need whilst I’m here, dad.”

After a small round of chitchat and the background noise of cutlery hitting the ceramic plates, the two of them left for their respective rooms to get ready for the day. Before going back downstairs, (Y/N) popped into Bella’s room where she was not surprised to see her sister sat staring out her window.

Her sister looked pitiful. Chair bound and frail. Heartbreak in the simplest definition. There was not a single trace of the girl she had grown up with. There was a Bella before Edward and the one that was left barely counted as a person.

(Y/N) entered the room, a wrapped present in her hands. She sauntered towed her sister, unsure of what Bella’s reaction — or lack thereof— would be.

“Hey, Bells,” she spoke softly, unsure of where they stood after the conversation they had the night before. “I got you this cause, after all, it is Christmas. I know you don’t want to come with us, but I still wanted to get you something. You can open it, or not. It’s really up to you. But, merry Christmas, sis.”

Silence seemed to be the prevailing answer.

“So, is she finally gonna come?” Charlie asked as (Y/N) exited Bella’s room. “Did she have a change of heart?”

“Nope,” she answered – she wasn’t a miracle worker. “But that doesn’t mean we’re not gonna have a good time. Now, let’s go.”

As they drove down the streets to the reservation, Charlie and (Y/N) sang along badly to Christmas tunes. A white scenery blurred past them as they headed through the snow-covered streets of Forks, putting the older Swan daughter to the back of their mind. The air felt lighter, a weight lifted off their shoulders. They both felt like they could breathe, even if just for a little bit.

The red barn-like house came into view before they had realized that Forks was far behind them. As the truck rolled to a stop, Billy and Jake exited the house to greet their guests. A playful smile played on Jacob’s face when he saw his new girlfriend. A smile that Charlie Swan did not like.

“Now, (Y/N), I know that you two are now sort of together. But I don’t wanna see all that lovey-dovey stuff between you.”

“Dad,” she chuckled.

“No, seriously, (Y/N). I don’t wanna see it.”

“So, it’s okay as long as you don’t see it? Got it.”

“Don’t push it, kid.”

“Alright, dad. I’ll keep it low-key for you.”

With another giggle, (Y/N) stepped out of the cruiser, her hands packed with a bag filled with presents and a six-pack of beer. And from the back of the car, Charlie pulled the trays of food they had prepared.

“Here, let me help,” Jake told Charlie, grabbing hold of two of the four trays he was carrying.

Charlie tried his best to hide his feelings of slight anger toward the boy. He’d known him since he was a baby but seeing him get so close to his daughter unnerved him. Still, he answered, “Yeah, thanks, Jake.”

“Hey, Jake,” (Y/N) smiled, kissing Jake’s cheek.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Alright you two, keep it moving,” Charlie grumbled. “And, again, I don’t wanna see any funny stuff between you.”

He walked in front of them, saying hi to Billy as he walked into the house to put the trays down. Everyone could notice the annoyance on his face. As much as he loved Jake, it was one thing for him to be his best friend’s son; it was another for him to date his youngest daughter.

“How’ve you been, Billy?” (Y/N) asked as she made her way into the house and the man rolled inside.

“Very good, (Y/N),” he smiled. “So, Jake and you, when did that happen?”

She chuckled in response. “It started at the bonfire, but it’s been a long time coming. Wouldn’t you say?”

“Well, between you and me, you’ve always been my favorite of Charlie’s youngest daughters.”

“It’d be weird if I wasn’t.”

“I truly hope this union is of benefit to the both of you,” Billy said, placing a comforting hand on her forearm. “If it is meant to be, I’m sure your father will come around sooner or later.”

“Waiting for sooner rather than later,” she sighed. “It’s kind of hard to see where this is going when dad is breathing down our necks every time we’re in the same room.”

“He means well,” he chuckled. “Charlie’s very new to this whole parenting teenagers thing. It’s hard to see your kids grow up so quickly. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll keep him by the barbecue as much as I can so you two can have some alone time.”

“Thanks, uncle Billy.” 

In her happiness, (Y/N) missed Billy’s knowing gaze. He knew something neither of them did. Deep down, he knew the pair would not last long – there were other forces in play. But if this is what they wanted, for now, he would never interfere. Young love was hard to come by if that’s what this was.

They entered the kitchen and laughed as they witnessed Jacob’s pleading face. Charlie had not let down his menacing stare as he prepped the meat they would cook. Though his hands worked on the food, his eyes glared at the boy relentlessly.

“Hey, Charlie, got the grill up and running already,” Billy announced. “Why don’t we put this thing to cook already?” 

“But I’m not done yet.” 

“I think you are,” he chuckled. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Charlie grumbled as he left through the backdoor with Billy and back into the snow, leaving the two teenagers on their own. With a smile of mischief, Jake and (Y/N) crossed the small kitchen and were finally able to engage in a hello kiss.

“Hey,” she whispered as they parted from each other.

“Hey, back,” Jacob chuckled. “Your dad was close to shooting me there.” 

“Well, you did kiss his youngest daughter in front of him,” (Y/N) teased, wrapping her arms around his neck. “And you’re the first boyfriend I’ve introduced to him. Look how well that turned out for Bella.” 

“But you’re not Bella,” he said. “And I’m not Edward.”

“That is very correct,” she laughed before pecking his lips. “You’re way better.”

“You could say that again,” Jake grinned. “Also, how many boyfriends didn’t make the cut?” 

“Why? Are you jealous, Jake?” 

“Just want to know what I’m up against.” 

“Believe me, none of them match up to you.” 

Suddenly, the sound of a screen door startled them apart. Charlie walked in, the angry scowl still on his face. He muttered under his breath as he opened the drawers in the kitchen, finally finding tongs. And as he left once more, he shot them another glare.

The pair couldn’t help but burst out in laughter as they watched Charlie’s figure disappear through the door. They understood where the father was coming from. Opening himself to having another daughter get her heart broken was too much for a technically “new” father.

But as much as they understood him, it didn’t mean they would try too hard to make him comfortable. They were young, a little reckless, and very excited to be in a relationship – at least (Y/N) was.

As the adults chatted outside, cooking the meat and drinking beers, Jake and (Y/N) gravitated toward the couch, cuddling on the seat. The fireplace was on and the radio was set on a jazz station, playing a song neither of them knew.

“So,” (Y/N) spoke up, looking at Jacob from his chest. “I know we said we wouldn’t do gifts, but I got you something.”

“(Y/N), you promised,” he chuckled. “Although, I will admit I also got you a little something as well. You go first.”

(Y/N) stood up and went to get the wrapped gift she had placed behind the tree. She was excited. It was their first Christmas together ever, and more importantly, their first as a couple. She had dreamed of this moment since they were kids.

Jake followed behind, grabbing the bag he had packed his gift into. He was sure they had both gotten each other small things. They hadn’t been together for that long and there wasn’t anything riding in the presents.

“So, I know you’ve been saying for a while that you needed these for a while, and they were very hard to get.”

Jacob’s eyes were wide in surprise as he unwrapped the box in his hands. (Y/N) had gotten him a pair of Timberland boots with a steel toe. He had dropped one too many tools onto his foot whilst working on cars and he was in desperate need of these shoes.

“Wow, (Y/N)! This must have put a dent in your wallet.”

“It’s worth it,” she smiled into the hug he gave her.

“Well, here’s yours,” he tried to pull a smile, but he knew it wouldn’t even compare. “It’s not as good, but I didn’t have much time.” 

“That’s okay,” (Y/N) responded. She knew whatever he had gotten her would be meaningful and caring, a testament to who he was. And she was very confident in it until she finally saw it. “A… candle.” 

“It’s got a nice smell,” Jacob chuckled awkwardly. “I thought you’d like the smell… I know. It sucks.” 

“No. It’s, um, it’s nice.” (Y/N) was trying to hide her disappointment. She’d seen this type of candle. They sold them at the gas stations in the area as passersby souvenirs. “I’ll put it by my bed and I’ll think about you every time I light it. I love it. Thanks.” 

“And I will basically live in these boots,” he boasted. “I love them.” 

“I’m glad.” 

It was hard for (Y/N) to keep her dismay at bay. She smiled, talked, and laughed through dinner, but it was hard. Jacob could have gotten the candle that morning – zero thought and preparation had gone into the gift. She would have preferred he stuck to nothing. Even that would have been better since he would have kept the promise.

Instead, she was left with a gas station candle that smelled like apples that had been stuffed into a red bag. She was allergic to apples. They made her throat itch and her eyes swell, it had been years since she had even smelled one. Though thankfully, this one was laced with a fake fruit smell, she couldn’t wait to store it in the deepest corners of her closet.

Whilst they were enjoying the pumpkin pie she had made, a knock resounded through the door. The four people in attendance stared at each other.

“Are you expecting anyone else?” Charlie asked, wiping off the whipped cream that had accumulated on his mustache. “Though it’d be just us tonight.” 

“We aren’t,” Billy responded. “It’s a bit late for that.” 

“I’ll check who it is,” (Y/N) offered, quickly standing. “It’s probably a tourist that got lost. You guys carry on.” 

As the men went on with their conversation, (Y/N) went to see who was at the door. It was Christmas night, whilst it was snowing. If it was a tourist, they were crazy to be out at that time.

But when she opened the door, she was surprised that not only was it not a tourist, but it was Paul Lahote standing there in shorts and a tank top. His hair was dusted with white snowflake specs, the ones on his skin melting away right after contact.

(Y/N) was quick to close the door behind her. If there was anything she didn’t want it was for Jake and Paul to get into an altercation with her father and Billy around.

“Paul,” she chuckled as she pulled her jacket closer to her body. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I was actually hoping to run into you here,” he responded. “This may sound weird, but I, uh I got you something.” 

He handed her a rectangular box beautifully wrapped in red metallic paper with a white bow for decoration. She could tell he had taken his time to wrap the present – or had asked someone skilled to do it for him. By the cover alone she knew he had put care into the present.

“Can I open it now?”

“Please,” he smiled. “Go ahead.” 

Carefully, she undid the paper, not wanting to even rip it, and she pulled a long box from inside. When she lifted the lid, she gasped. Inside a gorgeously crafted dreamcatcher, with cream feathers and colorful beads rested. Attached to the rim, a wooden wolf totem was attached. It was simple, it was thoughtful, it was beautiful.

“Oh, Paul, it’s stunning,” she said. “But you didn’t have to. I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s okay,” he chuckled. “I just saw it at a local shop, and it reminded me of you. The wolf totem, it’s for protection. The wolf is supposed to help you manifestmore protection, better instincts, and stronger relationships in your life.” 

“Seriously, Paul, it’s beautiful.”

 Without knowing it, she was beaming. The surge of happiness that grew inside her was unfathomable, and she found herself wrapping him in a hug. This stranger had gotten her a more thoughtful gift than her boyfriend and friend.

Paul stiffened at first, surprised at the sudden show of affection. But instantly melted into her embrace, wrapping his own arms around her.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he smiled to himself. But the moment was cut short. From far inside the woods, a wolf called out to his pack, saying it was time to change shifts. “Uh, that was all. I just wanted to give you this. I should be heading back home now.”

“Oh.” Was she disappointed? “Then, I promise one day I’ll repay the favor.” 

“There’s really no need.” 

“I insist,” she said with a bright smile. “Seriously, Paul. This actually means a lot. Thank you.” 

“Sure thing,” Paul smiled, running his hand through the back of his neck. “I’ll see you around. And, Merry Christmas, (Y/N).” 

Before she could answer him, Paul seemed to vanish. (Y/N) couldn’t see his body anywhere close. So, she spoke to the air, “Merry Christmas, Paul.” 

(Y/N) was quick to hide the gift in the car, under her seat. If she went back into the house with it, she was sure it would only cause discord with Jacob and her father. It was better if neither of them knew about one of the best gifts anyone had ever gotten her.

“Who was it?” Charlie called out when he saw his daughter walking back into the house. “You were out there for some time.” 

“Oh, just a couple of tourists that got lost leaving the rez.” 

“Tourists?” Jacob questioned. “Today of all days?”

“It was a newlywed couple, on a honeymoon road trip.” 

“Mmm, young love,” Billy smiled toward (Y/N). It made her question if he had seen who she was actually speaking to. “What a great gift it is.” 

Taglist: @winter-soldier-101@zheezs14 @a-sifu-hotman @sunflowerleii @DyslexicCatterpillar @Blackbluerose666 @slutforsainz @kortniec696 @xcastawayherosx@minhaimaginacao @bluebirbnamedJay @sirenheadenby @andreiaafaria @bluetreecloud20 @valejewel @nogitsune-the  @user0ur0mom  @skyesthebomb @swidkid @avis15 @honeylovemoon @wonieeee @edwardssugarmommy @nyenye @sugajar @lovel-blog @witchofhawkins @Six-Call @then-worship-at-my-altar@ems-alexandra @blueshoelacess @Nyctophilia710 @rosalie-whitlock @nocturnalherb16 @this-is-a-bad-idea @esposadomd @locokoca @volturiwolf @spookyqueen @gh0stgirl33 @catgirlpwr @nolaxox @klf1999 @krazyk99 @ilikepunsbeth @adaydreamaway08 @cinffy23 @paodemorangol1l1 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @toomanythoughts33 @jrosefangirl @queereddie @Missvicious @sugasthreedollarkookie @laylaskywalker @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck @a-slut-for-Loki-Bucky @honeywxter @haroldpotterson

[wasawattpadkid]

I don't know if your taking requests right now but if you are could you write how Billy and Stu would be around cat and dogs? Thank you!

Absolutely! The thought of them with animals is hilarious and also the cutest thing ever. Thanks for the request! 💕

Billy

Billy is a cat person.

He doesn't hate dogs however. He's just not a fan of how jumpy and over all clingy dogs can be.

He has to warm up to any animal. He'll tell you he hates them and doesn't want them around him. Next thing you know he's asleep on the couch cuddling with them.

Slobber from any animal is a no-no, freaks him out.

Billy has a big problem with having animals in his bed. He thinks it's gross and because of this he'll have several beds in different rooms for them to sleep.

If Billy were to get a dog he'd pick a guard dog. German shepherd, rottweiler, pitbull, those types of breeds.

Cats however he's not particular. He just wants a cat that likes him.

When it comes to names he hates human names for animals. He'd pick something along the lines of Salem, Malice, or Havoc.

If a cat falls asleep on or around him he would die before he moved and disturbed them.

He talks to the pet like they can understand him. "What movie do you want to watch?" He would ask as he flipped through channels.

Stu

Stu is a dog person.

The bigger the better. He'd want a dog he could wrestle with.

Stu likes cats only if they're nice.

He will feed any animal human food as a "treat"

He doesn't consider animals as pets rather as a member of the family.

He loves taking the dog for a walk. (He heard girls like dogs.)

He names animals really weird human names like Harold, Dimitri, and Bob. He thinks it's hilarious. Or he picks really goofy names like Paw McCartney.

Stu prefers big fluffy dogs like Irish wolfhounds, saint bernards, or great danes.

Cats on the other hand Stu wants something hairless. He's allergic to cat hair.

He will dress up the animal especially if its a hairless cat. The cat will have an assortment of sweaters.

[weird-an]

Billy always feels like a kid when he climbs up the wooden ladder.

When Harrington first told him, Billy laughed. Of course Harrington would have a fucking tree house. Not a few planks nailed together with a piece of cloth on top, but a proper tree house every five year old dreams about. Full of pillows and blankets. Fairy lights bathing the tree house in a golden light.

According to Harrington, Billy can hang out here whenever he wants. And Billy does. He doesn't tell Harrington, but he has slept here occasionally, because the blankets are soft and comfortable. One time he passed out, head pounding after Neil decided to stop drinking from the bottle and decided to throw it around.

He isn't sure if Harrington knows. He could see the light outside his window, so Billy rarely switches it on. Because if Harrington wants him around, he gets usually bend over the nearest surface or bed.

The tree house is a good hiding spot. Harrington doesn't know what a great gift he gave Billy with that. Not that Billy plans on telling him. They don't usually talk much, too busy with sucking each other off or fucking. They have sex, smoke a joint, because Harrington tries to quit cigarettes which is hilarious to Billy and then Billy leaves and goes back home to Neil and his anger.

It would be perfect. If it wasn't Harrington occasionally kissing him too long, too hot, asking Billy what he likes and touch him carefully like Billy's about to break. But maybe Harrington just misses having a girlfriend.

He is sure Harrington didn't realize that Billy would take his offer and actually come here.

But he does. It feels safe. No one knows about it, no one can get him here.

This is why Billy is here today, too. Neil has been in a mood all week which usually means for Billy to better stay out of the house. He still got a purple shiner as a birthday present.

Billy stretches himself out after piling two pillows on top of each. Rich people are insane, he thinks. This fucking tree house is better than his room at Cherry Lane. It's not even nine, but he's so tired. He sleeps at home, but always feels tense, always listening to the noises or his dad's footsteps. He sleeps better when he's here.

He must have dozed off, because he blinks, one eye bleary, one throbbing and Harrington is right above him, stroking a curl out of his face.

It's weird. It's Harrington's tree house, but they have never been here together before. Harrington surely wouldn't like the thought of Billy coming here that much.

Harrington grins at him, moles dancing when his lips stretch wide. He looks so fucking happy, like he's glad Billy is here.

"Your treehouse looks like a whorehouse," Billy says and it's a stupid lie, because he has to pretend it's the first time he's here, because it's so fucking cozy and his stomach flips, because now he's with Harrington, because the blankets are so soft and it's warm and this isn't what they're doing... ever.

"Shut up." Harrington rolls his eyes.

Billy sits up and wonders if he should already take his shirt off, fingers fiddling with the hem.

"I've got something for you," Harrington says with a crooked smile and Billy halfway expects him to pull down his pant- when Harrington holds a bag of sour candies out for him. His favorite. Fuck knows how Harrington knows this.

Billy takes one, but doesn't dare to eat it. If he eats it, he might owe Harrington or something. He doesn't want to owe anybody.

Harrington's face falls and a few more lightbulbs must have died, because its somehow much darker inside the treehouse now.

"Max lied, didn't she?" Harrington crinkles his nose. "You don't like sour candy, don't you?"

Why the hell is Harrington talking to Max about whatever candies Billy's likes? Why the fuck does Max even notice what candies are in the Camaro's glove department? Is Billy still asleep? Did Neil finally hit too fucking hard?

"I have candy cigs, if you like those better," Harrington rambles and Billy stares from the pink candy wrapping to Harrington and back. Harrington behaves like he has fucked up somehow and Billy can't stand it.

"No, these are fine." He unwraps it and puts it in his mouth. Sweet and sour twirl into each other on his tongue. Jesus, he doesn't know when he last ate that. Not ever since he moved to Hawkins, because he had a diet to stick to. Hawkins didn't feel like there's much sweetness in his life anyway.

"Good," Harrington says, leaning forward and pressing a kiss on Billy's forehead. Like Billy is worth something and not a toy to be played with. Like they're lovers. "Still tired?"

His smile somehow makes the room brighter. Billy stretches his arms and suppresses a jawn.

"I could blow ya, Harrington." And then fall back right to sleep.

"It's Steve." Harrington's smile falls a little. The light dampens a bit. "That's not what I'm here for. I saw the lights and I wanted to check on you."

Oh. He must have turned them on without thinking. Billy blinks, wondering if he's still asleep. He tries to remember the last time somebody checked on him that didn't end up with a belt on his back.

"I'm fine, Har -" Steve makes a face. "Steve."

He's always so adamant that Billy should use his first name. Billy tries to avoid it. Because if he starts to turn Harrington into Steve, he's fucked. That would mean his racing heart isn't just because of the black eyes and his dad's yelling earlier.

"Do you want some Advil?" Steve asks, fingers brushing along his temple, close to the bruise.

"Nah." Billy drank a few beers on the way here. It does the same job in numbing the pain.

"What happened?" Steve looks like he already knows what happened. Like he just needs Billy to tell him, because he doesn't want his suspicion to be real.

Maybe it is the tiredness, the stupid fairy lights or Steve's fucking softness that make Billy say: "He's just in a bad mood. It'll pass."

Neil Hargrove has his ups and downs. Angry, bitterness and then the few moments when they share a beer and he asks Billy how his days was, almost caring. Deep inside, Billy is scared that his dad is the only person that ever cared for him. That this is the only kind of love he'll ever get. That he deserves.

Steve makes a strangled noise and Billy stares at him, nostrils flaring and so angry like Billy has never seen him before.

"He can't do this, he can't..." Steve bites his lips. "You're.. you're his child."

Steve says it like Billy is a kid. Which he never got to be ever since his mom decided that he wasn't worth keeping.

Billy wants to say stupid stuff about turning 18 today and that maybe Neil does it because Billy is his kid and not despite that, but Steve shuffles closer and puts his arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace.

Billy shudders.

"I'm sorry," Steve mumbles and its fucked up because this isn't his fault, it's mostly Billy's. "I'm here for you, okay?"

It's a bitter sweet lie Billy would love to believe. That he wants to eat up, just like the sour candies. He wants Steve to hold him. He wants Steve to be Steve and not Harrington.

Steve strokes his hair and Billy just nods, because he wants Steve to mean it. He wants this to mean something, so much it hurts more than his swollen eyelid.

Steve holds him tighter until Billy lies on him. Billy melts against him. Steve smells like the sour candy and fabric softener.

Billy falls asleep, listening to Steve's heartbeat, wrapped in fluffy blankets under golden lights. He hopes they will wake up like this, too. It's the greatest birthday present he could have wished for.

@harringroveweek: Thanks for organizing this beautiful event! <3