#billy the kid bill and ted

[shiberamune]

so when are we gonna start posting abt him more guys

[sagittacaeli]

more bill & ted + back to the future sketches ! :p and some old-ish b&t doodles i was also gonna draw doc brown and rufus together but i got lazy

[bueller-alf]

this photo brings me so much joy

[starlahuskyz]

Bill and Ted and Billy the Pup

Original Screencap:

[nerds-yearbook]

In 1805, Napoleon was accidentally picked up by Time Travelers Bill and Ted and dropped off in 1988. While the time travelers were picking up other historical figures Billy the Kid, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, Joan of Arc, Genghis Kahn, and Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon spent his time bowling, eating ice cream and going to a water park in San Dimas, CA (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Flm)

[brittlebutch]

every so often i Do think about how bill and ted really struggled with reading and history and still their apartment was full of history books about medieval england just so that they could try to better understand their girlfriends lives and language...

[demareth]

forget all the old What Kind of Gay Are You personality tests

New Test for your flavour of Queer:

who was your favourite historical figure bill and ted picked up on their excellent adventure?

(obviously we all love both bill and ted because they fuck severely with tswag)

[rainbowfunks]

hi sorry this is super random and i hope it isn't bothersome but ty for drawing billy the kid from bill and ted. ik u posted it 4 years ago but i only watched the movie recently and he became a comfort character so fast and there is like no art of him. u made him look so cutesy !! <3

thank you so much omg 😭😭 this is such a sweet ask i will forever cherish HAHKJFG.. here is my thank you to you 🙏

[paulstanley80s]

happy birthday dan shor 16 nov 1956

[kchasm]

Ryu Number Chart Update: Call of Juarez: Gunslinger

Call of Juarez: Gunslinger is the fourth game in the Call of Juarez series, all but unrelated to the first two installments and thankfully unrelated to the third (let's us not talk about the third). This game features Silas Greaves, an aging gunman and bounty hunter in 1910 Abiline, Kansas who's got some recollections to regale a handful of saloongoers about, the majority of which have to do with wandering the Wild West and putting lead in people who perhaps deserve to have a bit more lead in them. Mind, Greaves isn't exactly what you'd call a Reliable Narrator... but he's not an Unreliable Narrator, either.

Gunslinger plays with the story-in-a-story narrative in a few pretty neat ways. As the player character stalks through a brightly lit swamp, one Greaves' listeners notes that the weather must have been nice, to which Greaves responds that no, it was foggy—and the environment immediately becomes so. Paths open up for the player character to follow as Greaves mentions them. More than once, Greaves gets distracted, causing the story (i.e. gameplay) he's narrating to change, or, on one occasion, spin into worrying surreality. The best example, I think, is when one of the characters sat at the saloon says he knows how the tale goes, providing narration and scenario for the player to shoot through FPSly, only for Greaves to tell him that that's not how it went at all; this is how it went—and then you play through that.

(So yeah, this technically means that all of the stages are Greaves' recollections and tales, which means they're technically not happening during the game's narrative which is wholly set at the saloon—if they ever happened at all, is another issue—but seeing as no significant amount of gameplay occurs outside of his narrative, and at least some of the stuff Really Did Happen—including various non-Greaves bits throughout the game—I'm going to call on the Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. precedent here and count it while circumnavigating the best I can in the future around using this game for characters that only appeared in Greaves' recollections. If you have any objections, these objections are completely fair and valid and you can stop reading this post now.)

(Hey, you're still here! Aces.)

One element that differentiates Gunslinger from previous entries in the series is the number of historical Wild West figures who show up in Greaves' tales. As the game notes, it wasn't unusual for dime novels to turn real-life gunhandlers into celebrities and folkheroes, if it wasn't those slingers doing the selling themselves—and Greaves, for all the low regard he's got for those novels, is selling a heck of a story. The very first stage, in fact, involves his brief and ill-fated team-up with Billy the Kid.

And yes, all the Big Names get intro screens like this. It's awesome.

Caveat: Henry Plummer's appearance in Greaves' story is especially suspect, on account of that it places him in after 1882, about a score of years after the real-life Plummer was given an awfully tawdry corded necklace and instructed to hang around. Too anachronistic to count, then?

Maybe. I dunno if it changes anything, but (and this is completely baseless speculation, so don't you dare copy-paste me like I'm some voice of expertise) to me, it almost feels like a mistake from outside the game. A point for this hypothesis: There's a character from the saloon who's prone to interjection whenever he thinks Greaves' story has gotten a little too far off reality, and while he does pipe up during the Plummer matter, all he says is that Greaves got the location wrong, which you'd think would barely qualify as peccadillo next to the whole time thing.

But no, everyone's perfectly fine with the time thing, which suggests that it isn't an error—not within the game, at least. Ever read Umney's Last Case? It's a short story. Stephen King.

... But hey, maybe Greaves really is just making the entire Plummer business up, and that specifically is the reason it's chronologically out of whack. It's more than implied at the end of the game that Greaves has—at least at one point during the whole game—stretched some truth, somewhere, but the where and when and how much and how important go cheerily unanswered.

Also, Plummer has an appearance on-screen during a not-directly-related-to-Greaves bit where they explain who he is For The Benefit Of The Player, which means it doesn't matter whether Greaves is making anything up or not, which means this whole multiparagraph massacre was for the benefit of nothing.

I waste your time! I waste all of your time!

Anyway, Ryu Numbers:

Wait, sorry, Dwight D. Eisenhower? Like the American president Dwight D. Eisenhower? Mr. I-Like-Ike?

Yeah, there's a reason the framing device bits happen in Abilene, Kansas, of all places. Eisenhower—born 1890—grew up there, before going to West Point in 1911. Before the Wild West era finally sunset, Wild Bill Hickok himself, in the early 1870's, served as marshal of the city. Tradition states that the Abilene of that time was a town of wickedness and criminality, which Hickok did his utmost to restore to lawfulness almost singlehandedly in the face of repeated attempts at assassination. And yes, there was a shootout in the Old West style, with the grievances petty but the consequences violent and lethal.

The truth, of course, is a lot more complicated (and a lot more interesting—see Robert Dykstra's 1961 paper in American Studies, "Wild Bill Hickok in Abilene"), but it wouldn't be wrong to say that Eisenhower grew up with the specter of the Old West hanging around.

... Which feels wrong, doesn't it? Talking about the Wild West and Eisenhower in anything like the same era. But the American Civil War only ended in 1865 (which means we haven't even gotten a bicentennialsworth of not-enslaving-not-imprisoned-people, incidentally), which is where a whole lot of the Wild West's big names owe their production (gotta take out that trauma somewhere). And then Manifest Destiny and genocide (all the genocide) and the Homestead Acts, and paved roads and the automobile (and in the opening cutscene, Silas Greaves' horse panics when the car nearly runs them over), and then it's World War I and an uncountable number of fresh-faced American boys are going to Europe to die face-down in the mud.

That's 1917. That's only just over fifty years.

Horse ebooks was right. Everything happens so much.

(For future reference, the characters who you can almost definitely count as showing up even if Greaves is pulling the maximum amount of bunk are Billy the Kid, Curly Bill Brocius, Johnny Ringo, Old Man Clanton, Henry Plummer—anachronism or otherwise—John Wesley Hardin, Bob Dalton, Grat Dalton, Emmett Dalton, Bill Powers—or however you'd prefer to spell him—Dick Broadwell—Bob, Grat, and those last two appear in Ben's recollection of the Dalton Gang, their bodies laid out in reference to an actual photograph that was taken—Jim Reed—that portion of Greaves' story is confirmed true—Jesse James, Frank James, Butch Cassidy, the Sundance Kid, and of course, Dwight D. Eisenhower.)

[shiberamune]

I HAD A VISION

[fancoloredglasses]

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (a couple of people traveling through time in a phone booth. Why does that sound familiar?), conclusion

[All images are owned by MGM. Please don’t sue me or sic your lion on me]

(all clips are thanks to Fandango unless otherwise specified)

PREVIOUSLY ON...

Bill S. Preston, esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan (a pair of slacker high school students in San Dimas, California, collectively known as the soon-to-be-famous-in-their-own-mind band Wyld Stallyns) are about to fail history, which would flunk them out of high school. Ted's father, the local Sheriff, has threatened to ship Ted off to an Alaskan military school should this happen (and has, in fact already started the ball rolling)

Only an A+ in their final report (what would various historical figures think of modern San Dimas, given orally to an auditorium of their classmates) will save them. There's just one issue: it's tomorrow and they haven't started it yet.

Enter Rufus, a visitor from the future, who gives Bill and Ted a time machine (that looks like a phone booth) to do research for their report. Bill and Ted use the time machine to collect eight historical figures: Napoleon (who is currently in modern San Dimas and being looked after by Ted's brother Deacon), Billy the Kid, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Ludvig von Beethoven, Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan, and Abraham Lincoln.

They also take a side trip to medieval England, where they meet two daughters of a corrupt noble due to be married off to equally corrupt (and ugly) nobles. Naturally, Bill and Ted fall in love and try to rescue them, but are captured. Fortunately, they escape, but the booth's time antenna is damaged in the escape and the booth is out of control!

Now, on with our story!

The antenna finally gives out, depositing them in...

However, after a bit of jury-rigging…

…they’re finally on their way back.

They land at the Circle K the previous evening (where they met themselves) Hopefully they remember what they said to themselves.

Yep, they did!

Rufus takes them aside and tells them they need to dial one number higher to get to the present. However, instead of the 10 hours Ted thinks they have left, they only have 2 hours before they have to present their report!

Ted quickly reminds himself to wind his watch, then he and Bill head to the present to get started on their report.

…and land in Bill’s backyard. Bill introduces the gang to Missy and they all get a ride to the mall. They then leave the gang to learn about modern life while they fetch Napoleon as the presentations begin at San Dimas High. However…

This leaves the boys with a puzzle. Where would the greatest French general go?

(Waterloo, in this case, being San Dimas’s water park)

(Thanks to JCH 007)

Meanwhile at the mall, Beethoven has found the music store (and its selection of keyboards), Genghis has found a sporting good store, Joan has found an aerobics class, Lincoln has found a photography studio, while Billy, Socrates, and Freud are hanging out at the food court.

Now, what do you suppose happens when these guys are left unattended for so long?

With that, the boys’ history report is under arrest and carted off to the sheriff’s offices for processing as it gets closer to when Bill & Ted are due to give their history report. The boys get word about what went down at San Dimas Mall and head to the station to explain to Sheriff Logan, but…

…he obviously doesn’t care. Therefore, they concoct a plan to, after they free the gang, go back to before Sheriff Logan lost his keys to the jail cells, then steal them and stash them in the bushes in order to free the gang. They then look in the bushes and find the keys!

With that, the boys sneak in, but they won’t be able to get past the entryway without Sheriff Logan seeing them, so Bill has the plan to grab Ted’s tape recorder when the travel back to get the keys to create a distraction.

With that most excellent distraction, the boys enter the jail cells. Problem is, Sheriff Logan wasn’t distracted for long and finds them in the cell area. Ted makes a note to remember to get a trash can as well for…

With that, the gang manages to escape to Missy’s car and they speed off to San Dimas High!

(Thanks to Wolf Boyer)

Needless to say, they got that A+.

That night, the boys celebrated by fantasizing about Wyld Stallyns making it big, but it wasn’t quite the same.

The Rufus shows up with a surprise.

Rufus rescued the princesses before they were forced into marriage. The boys have no idea how to thank Rufus for all he’s done.

(Thanks to Duke)

Now, we never find out exactly what happened to all of the historical figures, so this review is now venturing into the realm of fanfic. If you don’t want to know, either because you don’t care or you have your own head canon, you can stop reading now. Otherwise, click on the break below.

Welcome to the fanfic section! The big question is “How did Bill & Ted not change history with all of their time travel?”

The simple answer is “History happened as it did because Bill & Ted went back in time.” But to look at things a bit more in-depth, let’s look at everyone…

Abraham Lincoln, upon his return, went to his wife Mary to talk of his adventures through time. Mary decided he was working too hard and suggested a night out…to the theater.

Billy the Kid knew no one would believe him, so he kept his adventures to himself, though after his ordeal at San Dimas Mall, was a bit more cautious. This allowed him to avoid his fate, living to a ripe old age after changing his name to…

(Thanks to blackbeard1963)

…William Roberts (tying the Bill & Ted franchise to the Young Guns franchise)

Genghis Khan continued his conquest of Asia, though he did attempt to replicate the skateboard, the metal club, and Twinkies, but each ended in failure.

Joan of Arc did indeed try to start an aerobics program upon her return to France, but she was burned at the stake as a heretic as a result.

Ludwig von Beethoven’s hearing was severely damaged as a result of all of the loud music he listened to while in San Dimas, causing him to go deaf.

Napoleon did try the “water slide” strategy, which failed due to fiberglass not having been invented yet. When he left exile following his defeat, he attempted to invade Waterloo to get the materials, but that failed as well.

Sigmund Freud knew what his contemporaries would say if he said anything about his adventures, so kept his story silent to his dying day.

Finally, Socrates did tell his contemporaries about his adventures. They deemed him a heretic (or whatever the ancient Greek equivalent would be) and forced him to add hemlock to his drink.

What do you think happened to everyone? Let me know in the comments!

[stuckasmain]

Ram looks familiar….. YOU!

You guys need to understand how this broke my brain. Orignally I thought he looked a bit like Swan from the Warriors(1979) but he would’ve been in Xanadu around the time of Tron. Ram is fucking billy the kid. This man brings a blorbo vibe to everything apparently 😭

[margflower]

I got this Billy the Kid (of Bill and Ted) button from Etsy and I am thrilled. This was months ago but I forgot to share it here :)

[nerds-yearbook]

In 1879, Billy the Kid got in a bar fight after cheating at poker. He was aided by two teens who turnned out to be time travelers. He became their right hand man as they went through time picking up historical figures and he took a particular shine to Socrates. Then Billy the Kid and the historical figures Napoleon, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, Joan of Arc, Genghis Kahn, and Abraham Lincoln are brought to 1988 to spent the day in San Dimas, CA (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Flm)