#bill c-16

[coochiequeens]

How the fuck does a woman go from being the first woman be Deputy Prime Minister to not understanding that even if a man does get SRS he's still biologically a male?

By Reduxx Team February 24, 2024

Canada’s former Deputy Prime Minister is under fire by users on social media after repeatedly denying that biological males who identify as “women” have “male anatomy.”

Sheila Copps first entered politics in 1981 after being elected to serve as the Liberal Party Member of Parliament for Hamilton Centre. In 1984, she was elected Member of Parliament for the riding of Hamilton East and was re-elected in five successive elections.

Copps was the first woman to ever hold the position of Deputy Prime Minister and served for ten years in the federal cabinet, both as Minister of the Environment and Minister of Canadian Heritage.

Though her political career ended in 2004 after a messy nomination loss in which she accused another Liberal Party member of electoral impropriety, Copps continued to be a prominent figure in Canadian politics. In 2014, she revealed she had been the victim of two sexual assaults in her life, once while a young politician, in an effort to call attention to the lack of resources on Parliament Hill for survivors.

While Copps has been well-regarded as as staunch advocate for women’s rights, her latest comments have sparked backlash from Canadian women after she defended trans-identified males being able to access female-only spaces.

Controversy first erupted on February 22 after Copps slammed Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre after he announced he would seek to enforce sex-segregated spaces if elected Prime Minister.

“He has taken a ‘tough’ stance on transgendered women who want to use women’s washrooms. How courageous,” Copps sarcastically wrote on X.

Her replies were quickly filled with women supporting Poilievre’s sentiment, and questioning Copps’ understanding of the issue.

“Sheila. Sheila. The parents of Canada do NOT want their daughters/granddaughters experiencing the anatomy and more, of biological males in the women’s wash/change rooms. Changing in and out of their bathing suits. Read the room here,” political commentator Patrice O’Hamilton wrote.

Copps quoted the user, bizarrely claiming “transgendered women do not have male anatomy.”

Canadian women’s rights advocate Meghan Murphy replied to Copps: “You should know that men can identify as women without any surgeries or hormone treatments at all. I am baffled at how you can have been in your position with the government for so many years and not know this. Bill C-16 was a Liberal Party bill. Have you not been paying attention at all?”

Others noted that an exceedingly small percentage of trans-identified males have surgeries to construct the superficial appearance of a vulva.

According to a 2019 academic paper published by researchers from New York University, only 5-13% of males who identify as “women” have had “bottom surgery,” with the number being a scant 1% for males who identify as “non-binary.”

Vaginoplasties involve the removal of the scrotum and testicles, and the re-configuration of the penile tissues, sometimes with supplemental tissue from the colon, to create a shallow “canal.” The canal then has to be dilated for the remainder of the individual’s life, as the body will try to close it. The underlying male anatomy is not transformed into female anatomy.

While Copps appears to be under the impression that only postoperative trans-identified males have been permitted to enter women’s spaces, Canadian legislation provides broad protections on the basis of self-declared “gender identity” and does not require an individual to have undergone any medical transitioning to be treated as the gender with which they claim.

Copps’ former political party, the Liberal Party of Canada, was instrumental in pushing through legislation which amended the Canadian Human Rights Act and Criminal Code to include “gender identity” and “gender expression” as protected characteristics. The amendments granted men access to single-sex female spaces like washrooms, changerooms, prisons, and rape shelters on the basis of their identity.

While the Canadian government claimed the bill had been assessed for its impact on women prior to approval, it has refused to release any details of the assessment’s findings. In 2020, a copy of the assessment was given to journalist Anna Slatz via an Access To Information Request but was 96% redacted.

Since Bill C-16 was enacted in 2017, a number of disturbing incidents have been reported involving males being protected in their access to women’s spaces.

As previously reported by Reduxx, a man who raped a baby was transferred to a women’s prison after identifying as a “woman.”

Tara Desousa, also known as Adam Laboucan, sexually assaulted a three-month-old baby boy in Quesnel, British Columbia in 1997. The infant was so brutally injured by the attack that he had to be flown to Vancouver, 410 miles away, to undergo reconstructive surgery. After declaring a transgender status, Desousa was transferred to the Fraser Valley Institution for Women, where he is one of multiple trans-identified males with a history of sexual violence at the facility.

In addition to males being transferred into women’s prisons, Canadian women have reported incidents involving “obvious males” in women’s changing rooms across the country.

In February of 2023, parents in the oceanside community of Nanaimo, British Columbia sounded the alarm about a man who claimed to identify as “female” behaving in what they say was a predatory manner while using the women’s facilities at the local Aquatic Centre.

One mother who complained to the Aquatic Centre’s staff was threatened with arrest, with both the male and staff asserting the man had a “right” to use the facilities.

[thearbourist]

On Subjectivity - Gender Identity

This is from a resource aimed at children and teachers to ‘educate’ them on the finer points of gender-woo.  It is here the notion of the unfalsifiable gender-soul is born.  This woo, because of Bill C-16 is a category.  In the same list as “sex” in our Charter. See the problem yet?  Sex is based on physical observable reality.  Gender Identity is nebulous at very best.  I’m sure nothing can go…

[vaguely-concerned]

I realize that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are never going to cross over for anything but coy little easter eggs at most for legal reasons, but nevertheless my perfect scenario for how it would go down is that Hazbin Hotel’s part of the storyline culminates in the Big Epic Battle To End All Battles between Heaven and Hell… during all of which the whole Helluva Boss cast are fucking around up in the human world for completely unrelated reasons, perfectly oblivious the whole time. and then they cheerfully step through the portal back to Hell afterwards like ‘yo what’s UP losers we brought souveni — whAT THE ACTUAL FUCK’, troy coming back with pizza to a burning room meme style but the burning room is the entire cosmic world order as we’ve known it

[hungee-boy]

Our House is Unsafe, Help Us Gain a New Start

Do NOT tag as #d*nation, #m*tual aid, #p*ypal, #c*shapp, etc.

My name is Ross and I'm the oldest child of my family, with whom I currently live with. Our household consists of me, my widowed mother, and my three younger siblings, the youngest being 16. My dad died suddenly in his sleep November of 2021 and since then we have struggled pretty much every day to keep ourselves alive and housed.

Our house, my childhood home, is a 3 bedroom mobile home built in 1990 and for as long as I can remember, it has always been hoarded and falling apart. Over the past few years, we've made significant progress in reducing the hoard and giving us space to live in, but still this is a 30+ year mobile home that is damaged beyond our capability to repair.

Problems that exist currently in our house include:

No working HVAC

Half of the house has no power

Weakened floors due to water and pet damage

Outdoor siding rotting due to plant growth and water damage

Major leaks in the covered porch's roof, causing immense water damage and mold growth

Drywall, ceiling, and flooring damage (our entire kitchen's floor is just plywood now due to damage)

So many other issues that I've honestly lost track

We, of course, originally planned to slowly fix whatever issues had come up, but our plans changed when we came across a deal to purchase a brand new 5 bedroom mobile home for a discounted price. Not only does a new house such as this give us a safe, secure, and clean place to live, but the additional rooms ensure that all of us have our own bedroom and that we have more space to live and work. Currently, me, my mom, and my sister all share the master bedroom, so obviously the concept of all of us having our own privacy is leading us to make this decision more.

Right now, we currently have $2,000 put towards the down payment for the new house, out of a $9,000 down payment. We are able to make payments early and we expected to be able to put money down every month, until my mom's job fucked her over and didn't schedule her for 6 weeks. This greatly put us behind not just on payments for the new house, but also bills and getting my mom's car insured and registered, as it's now a year overdue for both.

I'll do anything for this chance, anything if it means that my family and I can finally have a home we deserve, a home my dad would've wanted for us.

I'm desperate, we're all desperate, for a chance to live normally for the first time in our lives. Living in squalor is all I've known and the opportunity to escape it is honestly the only thing keeping me going right now.

I don't know what I'd do if I'm forced to live in this shithole another year, let alone for the rest of my life. So, please, if you have the means I'd forever be grateful if you donate. If you can't donate, then please share this. It would mean everything to me.

Links:

[PP] [CA]

Thank you if you read this, thank you if you share, and thank you so so much if you donate.

[wheelie-sick]

Hi!!!! I have a condition called Systemic Lupus Erythematosus which can be fatal without treatment. I'm currently on a biologic which is usually within my budget but last month was $800. this medication is life saving and unavoidable for me due to the severity of my condition. I don't have the money for this and neither does my family. my c@$h@pp is $alexmorgan004 if anyone could send me literally anything to help me pay this it would be so greatly appreciated.

[ID: a cropped image of an itemized medical bill for saphnelo with an amount due of $819.20 dated 4/16/2024]

[afeelgoodblog]

Best News of Last Week - July 3, 2023

🐕 - This dog is 'disc'-overing hidden treasures! Get ready for the 'paws'-itively successful fundraiser, Daisy's Discs!

1. Most unionized US rail workers now have new sick leave

More than 60% of U.S. unionized railroad workers at major railroads are now covered by new sick leave agreements, a trade group said Monday.

Last year railroads came under fire for not agreeing to paid sick leave during labor negotiations.

2. Missing teen found after being lost in the wilderness for 50 hours

Esther Wang, 16, had been hiking with three other people through the Maple Ridge park on Tuesday.

The group made it to Steve’s lookout around 2:45 p.m. that day.However, when they headed back down to the campsite, after about 15 minutes of hiking, the group leader realized Wang was missing. They returned to the lookout to look for Wang but couldn’t find her. The leader headed to the trail entrance to notify a park ranger and police.

“Esther Wang has been located. She’s healthy, she is happy and she’s with family.”

3. A dog has retrieved 155 discs from woods. They’ll be on sale soon, with proceeds going to the park in West Virginia where they were found

Meet Daisy, the yellow Labrador retriever with a unique talent for finding lost Frisbee golf discs at Grand Vue Park in West Virginia. Four years ago, while on a walk with her owner Kelly Mason, Daisy discovered a disc in the woods and proudly brought it back. Since then, Daisy's obsession with finding stray discs has grown, and she has collected an impressive cache of 155 discs.

Mason and park officials have now come up with a plan to return the discs to their owners if they are labeled, and any unclaimed discs will be sold as a fundraiser to support the park's disc golf courses. Daisy's Discs is expected to be a success, with many excited about the possibility of recovering their lost discs thanks to Daisy's remarkable skills.

4. Australian earless dragon last seen in 1969 rediscovered in secret location

A tiny earless dragon feared to be extinct in the wild has been sighted for the first time in more than 50 years – at a location that is being kept secret to help preservation efforts.

The Victorian grassland earless dragon, Tympanocryptis pinguicolla, has now been rediscovered in the state, according to a joint statement issued by the Victorian and federal Labor governments on Sunday.

5. Detroit is going to power 100% of its municipal buildings with solar

All of Detroit’s municipal buildings are going to be powered by neighborhood solar as part of the city’s efforts to combat climate change – check out the city’s cool grassroots plan. Meet Detroit Rock Solar City.

The city has determined that it’s going to need around 250 acres of solar panels in order to achieve 100% solar power for its municipal buildings.

6. Canada Officially Bans Cosmetic Testing on Animals

The fight for cruelty-free beauty in Canada has seen a significant breakthrough as the Canadian government legislates a full ban on cosmetic animal testing and trade, marking a victory for Animal rights advocates and eco-conscious consumers.

This landmark decision is part of the Budget Implementation Act (Bill C-47), not only prohibiting cosmetic animal testing but also putting an end to the sale of cosmetics that use new animal testing data for safety substantiation.

7. Belize certified malaria-free by WHO

The World Health Organization (WHO) has certified Belize as malaria-free, following the country’s over 70 years of continued efforts to stamp out the disease.

“WHO congratulates the people and government of Belize and their network of global and local partners for this achievement”, said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General. “Belize is another example of how, with the right tools and the right approach, we can dream of a malaria-free future.”

----

That's it for this week :)

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[vintagelasvegas]

State Line Chevron & Bar, c. 1960s Whiskey Pete's restaurant, State Line (Primm), Nevada, 1983

 When U.S. Route 91 was established in the 1920s along the Nevada-California border, "Whiskey Pete" McIntyre opened the State Line service station. McIntyre shot a man at the station, spent time in a sanatorium, and was buried on the property when he died. On his deathbed Pete made a request: "Bury me up on the hill, standing up facing the valley so I can see all those sons of bitches goin' by."

The property changed hands after McIntyre, and was still just a gas station when it was bought by gaming pioneer Ernest Primm with land totaling 750 acres sides of the state border. Primm filed water rights with the Bureau of Land Management and tended barley fields on the property for three years to satisfy the bureau's requirements for ownership.

Primm opened Whiskey Pete's in '77, a European castle-themed casino with a 12-room motel, and a coffee shop. A hotel tower was added in the 80s. The business passed on to son Gary, whose Primm Valley Resorts opened Primadonna and Buffalo Bill’s casinos in the 90s and renamed the area Primm.

The exact location of Whiskey Pete's burial had been lost. Workers grading a railroad track linking the resorts in '94 accidentally uncovered his coffin and remains.

"The tractor caught the edge of the box and the skull popped out," said the project manager Bruce Sedlacek. "There was Whiskey Pete staring at us."

Sedlacek said the coffin was about 80 percent intact and buried "at an angle" to the highway. The remains were moved to another burial site on the property.

Postcard & photo from Felix Lenox, Nevada Armored Transport.

Whiskey Pete McIntyre faces charge. Review-Journal, 3/26/31; Whiskey Pete Is Freed of Insanity Count. Review-Journal, 10/15/32; Whiskey Pete Can Stand in Grave in Peace. Review-Journal, 2/10/41; Strip City Between Here, Los Angeles is Proposed. Review-Journal, 3/31/54; R. Cornett. Duel in the desert just a family feud. Review-Journal, 9/16/84 p1; D. Palermo. Remains of Whiskey Pete Found. Review-Journal, 2/5/94; Primadonna Resorts, Inc. and subsidiaries. SEC.; Don Catlin. The Lottery Book: The Truth Behind the Numbers. Bonus Books, 2003; L. Benston. Primm's Lure: Freebies. Las Vegas Sun, 7/2/2009.

[longwuzhere]

Some cool Easter eggs I caught watching My Adventures with Superman that I want to show to people so they can be in on it with comic book readers

My episode 2 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My episode 3 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My episode 4 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My episode 5 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Episode 6 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Episode 7 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here and here

My Episode 8 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Episode 9 easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Episode 10 easter eggs and refences in My Adventures with Superman post is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 1 post is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 2 post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 3 post is here

(SPOILERS if you haven't seen the show yet):

Lois Lane has a cut out clip of Vicki Vale. Vicki Vale is a journalist in Gotham City. Her first appearance was in Batman #49 (1948) as seen in the panel here (W: Bill Finger, A: Lew Sayre and Bob Kane, I: Charles Paris, L: Ira Schnapp).

Looks like Jimmy is a fan of Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask. Good video game taste.

Jimmy mentions a psychic starfish and the one starfish in the DC universe who is psychic is Starro the Conqueror, who's first appearance is in Brave and the Bold 28 (1960) (the cover art here is done by Mike Sekowsky, Murphy Anderson, and Ira Schnapp) and has the power to mind control people.

Lois, after barging into Perry White's office about a story, mentions Mt. Simonson. This is a neat name drop to Superman: The Man of Steel writer Louise Simonson, one of the nicest comic book writers you'll ever meet. She helped co-create John Henry Irons a.k.a Steel with artist of the Superman: The Man of Steel comic, Jon Bogdanove (really hope we get to see Irons in this show too).

Jon Bogdanove also gets a name drop here as does...

Dan Jurgen, comic book writer and artist on the Superman comic in the 90s (also one of my favorite Superman artists).

Now who are these kids that call themselves the Newskid Legion? Well, they are a VERY deep DC cut and reference to the Newsboy Legion back in the 1940s. The group was created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, LEGENDARY comic book creators.

The page here is from Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe #16 (1986) with the art by Jack Kirby and Karl Kesel. Most of the Newskid Legion is named after the Newsboy Legion members

Gabby and Big Words here share names with their Newsboy Legion counterparts as does Flip Johnson...

who shares names with Walter "Flip" Johnson here on the cover of Superman's Pal Jimmy Olson #137 (1971) which was done by Jack Kirby, Neal Adams, and Gaspar Saladino.

Patty, the cartoonist of the Newskid Legion homages this panel from Adventures of Superman #500 (1993) (W: Karl Kesel, P: Tom Grummet, I: Doug Hazelwood, C: Glenn Whitmore, L: Albert DeGuzman), the first appearance of Superboy, Conner Kent/ Kon-El.

But who is the one below that drawing? We'll his name is in Big Word's word puzzle, in the show. It's Jim Harper, the Guardian.

Jim Harper becomes the Newsboy Legion's legal guardian despite their causing trouble for him. The page here is from Star Spangled Comics #7, the Newsboy Legion and the Guardian's first appearance, by Joe Simon, Jack Kirby, and Whitney Ellsworth. You might've seen the Guardian on the recent Young Justice cartoon.

When Lois, Clark, and Jimmy go investigate about the smuggled robots in Metropolis, Jimmy makes a reference to super intelligent gorillas in France. This is a subtle hint at Monsieur Mallah, the Doom Patrol villain who will be in the show along with his partner, the Brain. Both made their first appearance in Doom Patrol #86 (1964) .

The cover art here is done by Arnold Drake, Bob Brown, and Ira Schnapp.

Later in the episode we see Clark receive his powers and he is surrounded with electricity, giving off Superman Blue vibes when in the comics, Superman gained electricity powers and became Electric Blue Superman who's first appearance was in Superman #123 (1997) (cover art by Dan Jurgens, Joe Rubenstein, Patrick Martin, and Todd Klein.

Link to Episode 2 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 3 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 4 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 5 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 6 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 7 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here and here

Link to Episode 8 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 9 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

Link to Episode 10 of My Adventures with Superman Easter Eggs and references is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 1 post is here

My Easter eggs and references in My Adventures with Superman comic issue 2 post is here

My Easter eggs and references for My Adventures with Superman comic issue 3 post is here

[luvrrgirl444]

kill bill !: in which two musicians break up. they claim they hate eachother, but can’t seem to get the other out of their mind.

musician! connie springer x black! fem musican reader

smau + written

taglist is open!

profiles! 🦋

the hot girls | the dumbasses + ymir

chapters! 🦋

chapter 1: c***ie 🤢

chapter 2: hop off my dick

chapter 3: stupidest man on earth

chapter 4: i ❤️ crazy women

chapter 5: exchange

chapter 6: men deserve death

chapter 7: city girls up

chapter 8: bitch say she love me

chapter 9: sassy man apocalypse

chapter 10: done for

chapter 11: bye cornelius

chapter 12: jeanie

chapter 13: jumpscare warning

chapter 14: genius

chapter 15: chat i miss her so bad

chapter 16: unblock me?

chapter 17: i need a stunna girl

chapter 18: birthday boy

chapter 19: shits crazy

chapter 20: i plead the fifth

chapter 21: proud of u gang

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str @magalimachete @10honeybee01 @dazaisfavgf @sheluvzeren @magalimachete @underatedwife @keondraaaa

[finnsbubblegum]

Birthday Crasher (Part 2) (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 

Summary: Sarah got sick on her first birthday.

Words count: 1.3k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 8 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your comments, reblogs, and likes ❤️ There are still more chapters for this series so stay tuned! Love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

“Fuck it.” You finally caved in and kissed Joel passionately. 

He kissed you back and pushed you to lean on the fridge. The fridge shook because of your weight and you gasped. But he ignored it so you put your arms around his neck and continued kissing him. 

But it felt like it was only for a second then you heard Sarah cry from her bedroom. Joel and you rushed to her to check on her.

“What’s wrong, babygirl?” Joel panted as he stopped at the doorway.

“Hey, hey. I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here.” You lifted Sarah from the crib and smelled her butt.

“Not smelling anything.” You were confused. 

You had fed her. She didn’t peed or poop. So what was the reason she was crying?

You felt something was off. Her cheeks were flushed. It was redder than usual. Then you put the back of your palm to her head and it felt warmer. 

“Joel, get the thermometer please. Hurry.” You were panting as you panicked.

Joel rushed to find the thermometer and handed it to you. You immediately checked her temperature using the thermometer.

“Joel..” You showed the thermometer to Joel.

“38°C?” Joel put his hand on his forehead.

“We need to go to the hospital, right now.” You rushed to get your jacket.

Joel got his keys and ran to the car. He drove as fast as he could to get to hospital and go to the emergency room. Sarah had a fever. On her birthday. 

“Help! Please! My daughter. I think she has a fever.” Joel begged the nurse.

“Please, she just turned one today.” You begged as you held Sarah in your arms.

“Okay, please come here.” The nurse guided you to a bed and called the doctor.

The doctor examined her and treated her. She was now sleeping on the hospital bed. You sat beside her as you caressed her head while Joel was doing the procedures and paid the bills.

“We can go home now.” Joel came beside you and rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Okay.” 

At home

“Hey, babygirl. It’s still your birthday today. I forgot to tell you, your mama told me to tell you that she said happy birthday.” You kissed her cheek.

“Ma-ma.” Sarah babbled.

Joel and you froze and stared at each other. Jaws dropped.

“Did she just-” Your eyes widened.

“Yeah, I think she just did.” Joel nodded.

“Say it one more time babygirl.” You bounced her a bit on your lap.

“Ma-ma.” Sarah repeated. 

You cried. You were not her mom but you felt happiness when the baby in your arms called you her mama.

“Oh..babygirl.” Joel caressed Sarah’s head. He took her from your arms as you wiped your tears.

“Try saying dada.” Joel cooed at his daughter.

“Ma-ma.” Sarah kept saying the word mama.

“No, no. Dada. I’m your daddy.” He snuggled his face to Sarah’s belly.

“Come on, sweetie. Try dada. Da-da.” You taught her how to say it.

“Da-da.” Sarah finally said the word.

“Oh my God!” You covered your mouth as you gasped.

“She just called me dada. Dada loves you, babygirl.” Joel kissed his daughter’s forehead.

You looked at Joel and Sarah and your eyes were getting teary. You were happy seeing Joel happy beside what had happened that morning. You leaned in and caressed Sarah’s head.

“Can I stay with her tonight?” You asked.

“Yeah, sure. But I-uh-I don’t have a spare bed. You can take my bed and sleep with her in my bedroom. I’ll take the couch.” 

“You sure?” You felt bad letting Joel sleep on the couch but there was no other way.

“I’m sure, darlin’.” Joel nodded.

“Okay,  time to bed, birthday girl. Come on.” Joel passed Sarah to your arms and you brought her to bed. 

Joel guided the way and opened the door for you. 

“You can change into this.” Joel put his white t-shirt and sweatpants on the edge of the bed.

“Thank you.” You were too tired from the busy day so you didn’t bother to stop by your house to get changed.

“I-uh-I’ll be downstairs if you need anythin’.  Good night, (y/n).”

“Good night, Joel.” You closed the door as you walked him out. 

You changed to his t-shirt. It was so big and you decided not to wear his sweatpants because his t-shirt was long enough to cover you. You raised the collar to your nose smelling his shirt. You smiled as you found that comforting smell again. 

“We’re having a sleepover tonight, sweetie.” You patted baby Sarah’s tummy gently as you laid beside her. 

Hours passed and you found yourself awake. You were lost in your thoughts thinking how Joel should be with his daughter tonight. Especially since it was her birthday and she was sick. You sat on the bed and decided to check on Joel downstairs.

“Joel, you awake?” You called him as you walked down the stairs.

“Joel?” You called him again as you walked closer.

“AHH!” Joel screamed in a high pitched tone.

“What?!What?!” You panicked.

“Fuck, I thought you were a ghost.” Joel covered his face in embarrassment.

“What the fuck, Joel? You thought I was a ghost?” You laughed. 

“How can I not think you were a ghost when you’re lookin’ like that?” Joel moved his hand up and down pointing at you.

You looked at yourself and realized. You were wearing his white t-shirt oversized hugging almost half of your body. And your long hair was let down.

“Sorry.” You chuckled.

“What is it? You need anythin’?” Joel asked.

“I was wondering if you wanted to join us upstairs?” You pointed to your back.

“Upstairs?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I think Sarah needs her dad with her now.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Joel followed you upstairs.

“Ahh!!” You suddenly mimicked Joel’s scream earlier as you climbed the stairs in front of him.

“You do realize you just screamed like a girl, right?” You stopped and turned your head to him, teasing him.

“Don’t make fun of me.” He threatened you.

“Ahh!” You mimicked him again and laughed.

“Stop it.” He sighed as he covered his face.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll stop.” You chuckled and walked your way back to the bedroom.

“Where do you usually sleep?” You asked Joel which side of the bed was his.

“Here.” He pointed to the left side.

“Okay.” You climbed to the right side and laid down.

Your heart beat faster. Tonight was your first night sleeping with Joel in the same room and same bed with only a baby separating you both. You slept on your side facing him and patted Sarah’s tummy. 

Joel could feel his body stiff. He laid on his back with his hands folded on his stomach facing the ceilings. His heart felt like it would burst in any second. He cleared his throat as he moved to sleep on his side facing you. Both of you were now facing each other.

“Ugh-Hi.” Joel awkwardly said hi. He felt stupid for saying that.

“Hi?” You hi-ed him back with a questioning tone.

“Do you-uhm-do you think she’s sick because of what happened earlier in the morning?” Joel felt guilty after the fight with Sarah’s mom on his daughter’s birthday.

“It’s not your fault, Joel. Babies get sick. It’s normal. Don’t blame yourself.” You consoled him.

“I’m glad she’s okay. Thank you for today.” He put his hand on top of your hand that was patting Sarah’s tummy.

“Anytime.” You smiled.

He giggled and you giggled. You two felt the awkwardness sleeping in the same room but each of you felt butterflies on your stomach. The two of you started to forget about the bad things that had happened today. Joel and you even forgot to talk about “that one second kiss” that happened earlier in the day.

To be continued…

Taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @padgraysonssram8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr @avengersfan25 @xixxala @dianaffddz @onzayhe @@violetwitchmcu @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @kelh27

[coochiequeens]

A 67 year old man who uses filters to make him look like a minor girl on his social media just exposed himself to two fourteen year old girls

By Genevieve Gluck February 23, 2024

A trans-identified male residing in Vernon, British Columbia, has been given sympathetic coverage by the press after two teenage girls reported that he had exposed his genitals in their presence while using the women’s change room of a local recreation center. Amanda Wilson, 67, whose given name has not been reported, was accused of stripping nude in the presence of two 14 year-old girls at the Vernon Aquatic Center on January 27.

The girls quickly told their relatives, and the uncle of one of the girls called the pool’s manager to complain.

“My niece had a 50-year-old man come into the change room, strip naked in front of her and her friend, she’s 14, and put on a woman’s bathing suit and go out,” the uncle, identified only as Kevin in order to protect the minors involved, said.

Amanda Wilson,’ 2017. Source: Facebook

He basically said that the kids have no rights and that the transgender person’s rights take precedence, this is something I think parents should know,” Kevin told local outlet Castanet in an article published on February 2.

“I was told by the pool manager that there was nothing he could do unless the person was ‘leering or making overt sexual gestures toward the girls’ but this guy was naked in front of teenage girls and that’s just not right,” he added.

Wilson, who stands at 6’2″ and weighs 300 pounds, has now been given a sympathetic platform in the media to share his side of the story. Writing to the Castanet in a letter published on February 15, the Canadian Armed Forces veteran has claimed that the girls could not have been exposed to male genitalia because, he says, he has “female sex organs” in place of his penis.

“I had surgery 13 years ago. It appears the two 14-year-old girls (who reported seeing me) never actually saw me completely naked,” Wilson wrote, accusing his critics of discrimination.

“The girls told their uncle I had male sex organs but I have female sex organs, at least on the outside. I am very masculine looking and as a result, I believe they assumed I had male sex organs. I do not. As well, I have some breast growth. I am legally female,” he added.

“Are we as a society going to start discriminating against people based on what they look like? If that is the case, what is next, banning people of different races?… Some believe I could use a separate changing room. That is true. But should we also force people of other races to use separate change rooms?”

“It makes me feel like a second-class woman,” Wilson said in a separate interview. “The fact that I’m trans overrides all the other good things that I’ve done.”

Reduxx has discovered a Facebook account belonging to Wilson, where he has posted disturbing images of what appears to be his own face edited to resemble that of a very young girl.

Last May, after Wilson updated his profile picture to an image of a young blonde girl, some of his friends took notice and told him the behavior was “creepy.”

Wilson’s heavily edited photo alongside some of the comments he made in response to critics. REDUXX.INFO

“That’s creepy because you don’t look like this at all. You are much older,” said one of Wilson’s Facebook commenters. Another remarked, “It is kind of creepy for sure. No offense, my friend.”

Wilson took the criticism in stride, saying: “Isn’t it interesting what you can do with computer software?” and adding: “You should see what I can do with other people.”

Responses to an earlier altered photo shared by Wilson in November 2022 were similarly critical.

“Why post a pic that doesn’t look like you at all?” asked one woman.

Wilson replied: “This is what I would have looked like if God had not made a mistake.” When the same commenter stated that “God didn’t make a mistake,” Wilson said, “How do you explain why so many people in this world are transgender. According to the church, there are only two genders. But my brain, my self, is female and my body was female. Something went wrong.”

For years, Wilson has repeatedly posted strong opposition to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, including one image which depicted him as Hitler.

“Hate is a strong word. There is only one person in Canada that I truly hate and that is Justin Trudeau,” Wilson posted in April of last year.

“There is an endangered species in Canada that is about to be exterminated,” Wilson wrote in July 2023. “They call it the Liberal Party.”

He has also, on several occasions, claimed to be a victim of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of his father.

“Spanking a child using your hand on their clothed rear is one thing, but when you use a leather belt or a piece of wood on their bare skin and leave welts, bruises, and cuts, that is another thing. Too many children are the victims of adults who seem to think that it is okay to brutalize a child,” wrote Wilson on January 1. Curiously, Wilson follows an independent maker of custom whips on Facebook which “ships worldwide.”

On the same day, Wilson stated he was “still suffering from the abuse” he received in his childhood.

“Madagascar law allows the castration of child rapists,” Wilson posted to Facebook on February 12, just three days before his letter to Castanet was published, wherein he claimed to have had his male genitalia removed.

Wilson has also shared reports of sexual crimes committed by minors while calling for children to be tried and punished as adults.

“You have to love the Youth Criminal Justice Act,” Wilson said in April 2023. “A twelve-year-old boy is charged with two counts of sexual assault but because he is a child, his name is not published. On top of that, the most he will get is three years in a comfortable facility. If someone is capable of committing a crime, they should be judged as an adult.”

The incident involving Wilson’s nudity in the women’s change room has not been widely reported, but did spark some criticism. After Castanet spoke with Kevin, community member Anne Gunion wrote a letter to the outlet criticizing legislation which allows for a self-declared gender identity to be prioritized over biological sex. Bill C-16, which was added to the Canadian Human Rights Act in June 2017, enshrined the concept of gender identity as a protected characteristic under the law.

“Bill C-16 has given access for predators to enter zones that were previously safe for women,” wrote Gunion, whose comments were released by Castanet on February 8. “Why are the feelings of someone who identifies as another gender more important than the emotional and physical safety of women? Why do transgender rights take precedence?”

“My heart goes out to women who have a past of sexual abuse and sharing a change room with a male causes emotional harm,” she continued. “Why are the feelings of someone who identifies as another gender more important than a child’s safety? That is not equality. Women have fought long and hard for equality, and allowing biological men into our safe spaces is a step backwards for women’s rights.”

[arthistoryanimalia]

#InternationalVultureAwarenessDay:

Ustād Manṣūr (India, active 1590-1624)

Red-Headed Vulture and Long-Billed Vulture, c. 1615–20

Mughal, Jahāngīr Studio

folio from the Shah Jahan Album

ink, opaque watercolor, & gold on paper

39.1 x 25.6 cm (15 3/8 x 10 1/16 in)

The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York 55.121.10.12 verso: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/451260

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Nobody

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

August 2, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Aug 03, 2024

Today, Aaron C. Davis and Carol D. Leonnig of the Washington Post reported that there is reason to believe that when Trump’s 2016 campaign was running low on funds, Trump accepted a $10 million injection of cash from Egypt’s authoritarian leader Abdel Fatah al-Sisi. It is against the law to accept direct or indirect financial support from foreign nationals or foreign governments for a political campaign in the United States.

In early 2017, CIA officials told Justice Department officials that a confidential informant had told them of such a cash exchange, and those officials handed the matter off to Robert Mueller, the special counsel who was already looking at the links between the 2016 Trump campaign and Russian operatives. FBI agents noted that on September 16, Trump had met with Sisi when the Egyptian leader was at the U.N. General Assembly in New York City. 

After the meeting, Trump broke with U.S. policy to praise Sisi, calling him a “fantastic guy.” 

Trump’s campaign had been dogged with a lack of funds, and his advisers had begged him to put some of his own money into it. He refused until October 28, when he loaned the campaign $10 million.

An FBI investigation took years to get records, but Davis and Leonnig reported that in 2019 the FBI learned of a key withdrawal from an Egypt bank. In January 2017, five days before Trump took office, an organization linked to Egypt’s intelligence service asked a manager at a branch of the state-run National Bank of Egypt to “kindly withdraw” $9,998,000 in U.S. currency. The bundles of $100 bills filled two bags and weighed more than 200 pounds. 

Once in office, Trump embraced Sisi and, in a reversal of U.S. policy, invited him to be one of his first guests at the White House. “I just want to let everybody know, in case there was any doubt, that we are very much behind President al-Sissi,” Trump said. 

Mueller had gotten that far in pursuit of the connection between Trump and Sisi when he was winding down his investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election. He handed the Egypt investigation off to the U.S. attorney’s office in Washington, D C., where it appears then–attorney general William Barr killed it. 

Today, Brian Schwartz of CNBC reported that Elon Musk and other tech executives are putting their money behind a social media ad campaign for Trump and Vance, and are creating targeted ads in swing states by collecting information about voters under false pretenses. According to Schwartz, their America PAC, or political action committee, says it helps viewers register to vote. And, indeed, the ads direct would-be voters in nonswing states to voter registration sites.

But people responding to the ad in swing states are not sent to registration sites. Instead, they are presented with “a highly detailed personal information form [and] prompted to enter their address, cellphone number and age,” handing over “priceless personal data to a political operation” that can then create ads aimed at that person’s demographic and target them personally in door-to-door campaigns. After getting the information, the site simply says, “Thank you,” without directing the viewer toward a registration site.

Forbes estimates Musk’s wealth at more than $235 billion. 

In June the Trump Organization announced a $500 million deal with Saudi real estate developer Dar Global to build a Trump International hotel in Oman. 

In January 2011, when he was director of the FBI, Robert Mueller gave a speech to the Citizens Crime Commission of New York. He explained that globalization and modern technology had changed the nature of organized crime. Rather than being regional networks with a clear structure, he said, organized crime had become international, fluid, and sophisticated and had multibillion-dollar stakes. Its operators were cross-pollinating across countries, religions, and political affiliations, sharing only their greed. They did not care about ideology; they cared about money. They would do anything for a price.

These criminals “may be former members of nation-state governments, security services, or the military,” he said. “They are capitalists and entrepreneurs. But they are also master criminals who move easily between the licit and illicit worlds. And in some cases, these organizations are as forward-leaning as Fortune 500 companies.”

In order to corner international markets, Mueller explained, these criminal enterprises "may infiltrate our businesses. They may provide logistical support to hostile foreign powers. They may try to manipulate those at the highest levels of government. Indeed, these so-called 'iron triangles' of organized criminals, corrupt government officials, and business leaders pose a significant national security threat."

In a new book called Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World, journalist Anne Applebaum carries that story forward into the present, examining how today’s autocrats work together to undermine democracy. She says that “the language of the democratic world, meaning rights, laws, rule of law, justice, accountability, [and] transparency…[is]  harmful to them,” especially as those are the words that their internal opposition uses. “And so they need to undermine the people who use it and, if they can, discredit it.” 

Those people, Applebaum says, “believe they are owed power, they deserve power.” When they lose elections, they “come back in a second term and say, right, this time, I'm not going to make that mistake again, and…then change their electoral system, or…change the constitution, change the judicial system, in order to make sure that they never lose.”

Almost exactly a year ago, on August 1, 2023, a grand jury in Washington, D.C., indicted former president Donald J. Trump for conspiring to defraud the United States, conspiring to disenfranchise voters, and conspiring and attempting to obstruct an official proceeding. The charges stemmed from Trump’s attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election. A grand jury is made up of 23 ordinary citizens who weigh evidence of criminal activity and produce an indictment if 12 or more of them vote in favor. 

The grand jury indicted Trump for “conspiracy to defraud the United States by using dishonesty, fraud, and deceit to impair, obstruct, and defeat the lawful federal government function by which the results of the presidential election are collected, counted, and certified by the government”; “conspiracy to corruptly obstruct and impede the January 6 congressional proceeding at which the collected results of the presidential election are counted and certified”; and “conspiracy against the right to vote and to have one’s vote counted.” 

“Each of these conspiracies,” the indictment reads, “targeted a bedrock function of the United States federal government: the nation’s process of collecting, counting, and certifying the results of the presidential election.” “This federal government function…is foundational to the United States’ democratic process, and until 2021, had operated in a peaceful and orderly manner for more than 130 years.” 

The case of the United States of America v. Donald J. Trump was randomly assigned to Judge Tanya S. Chutkan, who was appointed by President Obama in 2014 and confirmed 95–0 in the Senate. Trump pleaded not guilty on August 3, after which his lawyers repeatedly delayed their pretrial motions until, on December 7, Trump asked the Washington, D.C., Circuit Court of Appeals to decide whether he was immune from prosecution. Chutkan had to put off her initial trial date of March 4, 2024, and said she would not reschedule until the court decided the question of Trump’s immunity. 

In February the appeals court decided he was not immune. Trump appealed to the Supreme Court, which waited until July 1, 2024, to decide that Trump enjoys broad immunity from prosecution for crimes committed as part of his official acts. Today the Washington, D.C., Circuit Court of Appeals sent the case back to Chutkan, almost exactly a year after it was first brought.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[mikalame]

heyy !! can you do headcannons of how it would be if you’ve been tom’s celeb crush since he was like 14 and then at an award show when u guys are 16 you meet?😋

My celebrity crush

Bill had been doing toms head in all day while they were at band practice, he had just wanted to come home, sit down mabey even take a nap but nooo bill just had to keep talking.

Tom walked down the stairs with a glare on his face, he just wanted bill to shut up for once, bill had started screeching again about something but before tom could tell him to shut up again his ears picked up a name.

"___ _____"

You have been toms favourite celebrity since he could put names to faces, he had posters on you stapled around his side of the room he shares with bill.

Tom bolted down stairs once he finished thinking pushing bill off of the couch and sitting in his spot, he grabbed the remote and turned to volume up not wanting to miss a moment of what ever you were saying

"Hey To-" "shut up bill" tom interrupted, waving his face in front of bill face eyes never parting from the screen, "Bu-" "BILL IS SAID SHUT UP" He yells, bill just had to talk when you were gosh. "MOMMMM" bill yells, tom cant even be bothered to make a face or say anything only causing a fit when the T.V gets unplugged.

Tom runs up to the shared room locking bill out, as the younger boy pounded on his door tom could only look at one of your posters, he whispers

"We will meet, i promise"

TIME SKIP

"AND THE BEST TEEN OF 2005 IS..... ___ ____!" the awards person yells into the speaker holding up the award, cheers and applause are echoing though the hall as they all turn to the girl as she walks down the aisle.

"Tom look" Georg says taking the headphone out of the boys ear, turning his head to the girl walking down to collect her award. Tokio hotel wasn't nominated for the award but they still went to get some publicity.

Tom immediately recognised the girl her h/c flowing nice down her back the dress she was wearing matched with the shoes she had on as she walked on the stage, shaking hands with the guy a she give a speech.

He wasn't paying attention to what you were saying all the words just seemed to be muddled together, the way you look so put togther made tom's feelings for you to rush up and paired with the teasing from the others made his face go bright red, causing him to hide his face in his hands.

When he get the courage to look up again, scared you will be gone if he doen't look back quick enough, you and him make complete eye contact, though you keep talking while looking at him a smirk and slight blush creeping over your face.

When you step down and walk back to your seat, you look at him again smiling oh-so sweetly before sitting down whisper talking to the people around you.

Before he can register what happend he was getting pulled up by bill and dragged out with the others.

"Whoa, were we going, what happened" he gasps as he trys to straighten his walk "Were rushing to the after party, try get some more publicity, you can go talk to ___ tho" he teases before walking off he he turns around "lets hope she forgets about you turning into a tomato" he laughs.

Tom rolls his eyes at his brother as he squishes past the bodys filing through the door, he gets to the bar and orders a coke and redbull, sitting on the stool he looks over the peopels heads

he sees Georg chatting up some bloak with a beer in his hand, laughing about something, Gustav playing poker with some broad shouldered guy, and bill having an interview with some lady.

"Hey, Tom Kaulitz right" he hears a familar voice next to him, turning his head he did not exspeact to see ___, right away his eyes went wide as he stutters out an answer

"Oh-uhm y-yeah" He thinks about what he just said critisizing everything about it "Oh its nice to meet you im pretty sure yk who i am so no need for that ahah" she jokes taking the seat next to the boy.

While she oreder a drink, tom just stares at her he cant belive that ___ is sitting, talking or even breathing the same air as him right now.

"So Tokio Hotel, right hows it in the music indrusty?" she asks sipping her drink through the straw they gave her "Oh yeah its okay pretty slow at the moment" he answer trying to be a tad bit more serous "oh yeah" she relipes

The two spent the rest of the evening talking ,laughing and making jokes about everything together she had even put her hand on his shoulder a couple of times, making toms face blushing causing her to start giggling.

She flips open her phone to check the time and gasps when she sees it 1:00am "Oh shit i got to go, i guess time does fly by when your having fun, Oh tom could i get your number" she asks casually as she rummages through her bag looking for some money to pay the tab.

Tom stutters out an answer and hands her back the phone after typing in the pin "Okay well thanks for a great night tom, hope to see you soon" she says before giving him a kiss on the cheek, blending into the crowd when he looks back.

"Wow, dreams come true huh tom" bill says standing next to him a smug expression on his face

"Oh shut up bill" He groans

Hope you likeee

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

[gusgrissom]

Remember NASA astronaut Thomas Kenneth Mattingly II (March 17, 1936 – October 31, 2023), who died earlier this week at the age of 87.

Ken, often known as TK, was the command module pilot aboard Apollo 16 in 1972 and flew aboard the space shuttle twice on STS-4 and STS-51-C. He’s also known for being scheduled to fly on Apollo 13, but exposure to rubella (which he ultimately did not contract) famously led to his replacement by Jack Swigert.

From NASA Administrator Bill Nelson:

TK’s contributions have allowed for advancements in our learning beyond that of space. He described his experience in orbit by saying, “I had this very palpable fear that if I saw too much, I couldn’t remember. It was just so impressive.” He viewed the universe’s vastness as an unending forum of possibilities. As a leader in exploratory missions, TK will be remembered for braving the unknown for the sake of our country’s future.

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 17

♡ Chapter Inspo: Too Sweet - Hozier ; "You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape."

♡ Summary: Winnie & Carmy attend one of their first full family functions as a couple, & Carm is anxious as shit that Donna will pop up.

♡ W/C: 10,217

♡ Posted Date: 04/16/2024

♡ A/N: WOW It has been a second since TB&HH got some love but we are so back!! I am actually really excited about this chapter! It is very long as you see, and It took a few times of scrapping & rewriting, and then I finally just said fuck it and did what I wanted to do LOL. I have been writing so much SydCarmy i've been achingg for some loveydovey Winnie & Carmy so here I am! As per usual requests are open for SydCarmy, CarmyxReader - anything really!

♡ Warnings for BTC: SmutSmutSmut (breeding kinks mentioned, car sex) - Swearing, Fluffy mush, Smoking cigarettes, talks of alcoholism, drinking

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

Carmen and I had made it official 3 months ago now, and we were just as happytogether and obsessed with each other as the day we’d met. Today was the day that Natalie’s younger daughter, Briana or Bee as the family lovingly calls her would be getting Christened since she was officially a year old last week. 

When I returned last month from nannying in The Hamptons, Carmen had taken an entire week off permitted by Sydney being back in perfect health - and we fucked and ate and did whatever we wanted for the entire week before I had to get back to work. It was fair to say we had missed each other terribly and he’d told me I ‘wasn’t allowed to abandon him like that ever again’ even if it meant he had to pay all of my bills. 

I huffed frustratedly, my fingers beginning to cramp up from trying so many times to clasp on my simplistic gold St. Christopher medallion with my long french tips that Carmen had been insisting on paying for every 2 weeks.  

“Bear! I need help!” I called out to him where he was in the bathroom ‘borrowing’ my gel to relax his frizzy curls that he had no time to blowdry this morning. 

“what‘sup honey?” He asked as soon as I called, coming out to the bedroom where I was stood in front of my full-length mirror struggling to clasp my jewlery.

This is how he’d been for the past 2 months or so, I call, and he answers nearly faster then I can finish my request.

It didn’t matter what he was doing, not if we were in the kitchen (he did get a bit huffy if it was extra busy, but never mean, never ever mean.) But if we were at home? It was almost scary how fast he came to my call. I had even filmed a TikTok- jokingly saying- 

“My man will blindly do whatever I ask of him- watch- it’s weird as fuck- but it’s super cute. He will literally toss out whatever he’s doing and do what I say. I think he’s over in the living room drawing right now- but watch…he’s gonna shove all his colored pencils n’ shit right in his case and barrel over here like a puppy. Watch this. -”  I stepped into the hallway and flipped the camera “ oh - and he’s gonna say ‘I’m sorry’ cause he wasn’t here the second I asked him.” I whispered before calling- “ LLLLOVER?! What’re y’doin’s? Mon Ours?!” (My Bear?) down the hallway.  ‘Huuuh???’ he called back ‘WHAT’RE Y’DOING LOVE?’ I called louder. I heard wooden pencils tinkling together and muttered curses for a few moments before he appeared at the end of the hall, coming up to me “Wha?” he asked, “M’sorry honey- I couldn’t hear over the TV-“  “What are you doing?” I asked “Uhhh…drawing? Why?” He asked “need something?” “No” I shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “Can you put it away?” I asked.  “Oh- sure gimme’ sec” he walked off to the living room for a few moments and I flipped the camera back to me,  “See he just does what I ask him to do what is this?! He just listens he’s the best listener-“ I whispered being interrupted by him asking “Hey Honey? D’you mean like away away?” He called  “No just put up. come here” I called and he comes back to me, kissing my head  “Are Y’Hungry? D’ya need y’r water filled? What day is it again? I didn’t forget plans did I?” he checked his phone and I rolled my eyes playfully  “I just wanted kisses” I puckered my lips  He gratefully partook, kissing my lips before pecking all over my face. “Did you get your period and are just needy for love and kisses or Is this a test?” I hit end on the recording, embarrassed by his stupidly good intuition. 

It had gotten nearly 4 million views, and he was baffled as to why - when I explained the likely reason to him, he could barely understand that a lot of boyfriends didn’t give a shit about their girlfriends needs- at least to the level he does, so the way girls were thirsting after him in my comment section was new to him, and slightly overwhelming for me because it had been weeks and likes and comments were still pouring in, and there were lots of people that knew who he was. I had gotten at least 100 comments reading ‘is that like- THE Carmen Berzatto? Just…chilling in your house?!’

It was also kind of annoying because people kept asking to see him now since they either thought he was hot or they wanted him to talk about cooking, but I’d never ask him to. He isn’t my show pony, I know he’s hot and talented and smart and amazing and my absolute everything - and I’d love nothing more than to share all of that with the people who we’re asking, but I knew for a fact he didn’t like being on camera and wouldn’t be comfortable knowing 300 thousand people were gonna be seeing it- and possibly many, many more. 

He thought it was sweet and funny that after when I told him I pranked him or more specifically, giggly telling him ‘you got-got bear, I got you so good’ that me ‘pranking’ him was asking him to put away his colored pencils and kiss me for the sake of it - when in culinary school his ‘friends’ idea of a prank was to dull out all of his knives so he’d have to spend nearly the whole day resharpening them and failing an assignment because of it.  

 “Oh, that? Here honey gimme” he takes the ends of the dainty chain from my fingers, standing behind me and clasping it easily before adjusting the charm gently to the middle before and kissing the top of my head. “Y’nails’re too long f’that Angel” he muttered, looking at the necklace in the mirror and rubbing over my lower stomach lovingly.  

He did that move a lot ever since he started getting more comfortable when we made things official. Especially when he knew I was ovulating during sex. It drove me absolutely insane  - he loved to do it while saying something along the lines of;

 ‘Y’want me t’fuck y’full pretty girl? Yeah? You wanna show everyone y’mine honey? Who you belong to princess? Are y’gonna have my babies? Mmm? Say it— Y’love it when I fuck y’like this, like a fuckin’ cat in heat. Ye’- is that it? Are you a filthy little fuckin animal? My pretty little pet?’

While he fucked me absolutely brainless. Before I went to my nanny gig, one day he peered over my shoulder while I was reading one of my fantasy books and saw the words mating press - he was immediately interested and very shyly asked what it was, before asking me to help show him what he needed to do to help me achieve that very position.

Surprisingly- after I had explained what the position was for in the books- it was the first time he didn’t quite literally leave or get overly anxious about the thought of us having children - even if it was just purely dirty talk. He just once again made sure that I was on birth control, and from there it became one of our very favorite positions. 

I’d never fucked a man before that made me promise to have his babies someday before cumming in me as deep as he could and rubbing over my extremely vacant womb due to being so pussy-drunk. All while whispering how pretty I’d be swollen with his seed- worshiping me like I’d already been carrying the child- muttering about how hot it would be if I were to be all big-bellied carrying his baby. Maybe it was his kink? Surely it was just a kink and it was the moment talking not his actual desires. 

It must be- because he’d been so adamant just a few months ago that he was ‘absolutely sure’ he didn’t want children so badly we nearly got into an argument over it when I asked him to just think about it outside of the realm of me. So he likely was simply turned on by the thought of a ‘nuclear domestic life’ just like any other person is. 

“Thank you, you look so nice, Bear. I can’t wait until it’s over though cause I wanna touch your hair. Can’t though cause it has all the stuff in it” I said, turning around and gently pushing back the stray sticky curl that had fallen out of place and was laying on his forehead adorably. 

“Mm Church isn’t my favorite pastime cause I have to have all the bullshit on. but you look…” he takes me in slowly, his hand sliding down over the curve of my waist. “Fuckin perfect. Can’t believe y’mine baby” he leans in for a kiss “wait- this stuff, can I kiss you?” He alludes to my lipstick which was likely about the same shade of red as my cheeks now due to his compliments. 

“Find out” I said and pulled him by his jacket, kissing him deeply. He hummed, squeezing my bum and pulling my hips into his, squeezing them gently. 

He was always extra careful to ask when I had makeup on and was getting ready to go out, that he could kiss me without messing anything up. He would sit and watch me do my makeup when going out for girls nights, so was very understanding and appreciative of the effort and time that went into it. He would help me pick out eyeshadow colors sometimes, but his favorite part was when I did lipstick. He tells me it ‘changes everything’ which makes me giggle, because that’s exactly what my grandma says. 

I pull away after a few moments, “how’s the makeup?” I tease, checking in the mirror. “Lady Gaga knows what she’s doing babe” I gently dab below my lip with my beauty blender where he had gotten some of my foundation by mistake in the heated lip to lip transaction. 

“The same one that did the poker face song?” He asked and I laugh a bit 

“If that’s all you know her by then we still  have a lot to learn about pop culture. But yes, the Gaga baby” I fixed up my lipliner a bit and he watched me in the mirror as I meticulously did so. 

“Mm I remember that and the weird meat dress. Fuck you look amazing baby here lemme see” he turns me around when I put the pencil down, gently brushing my fringe from my eyes. “You are so beautiful baby, fuckin’ breathtaking” he kissed my forehead gently. 

I smiled, holding his hands in mine and squeezing gently “you look very handsome baby, so handsome” I adjusted his tie and kissed his jaw gently. My alarm went off for 6:45 signaling it was time for us to leave, the sound causing me to jump a bit before I giggle shyly “Sorry. We’d better go” I grabbed my purse, making sure I had everything i’d need for the day. 

“Y’still wanna get coffee honey?” He asked as he put his dress shoes on. 

I nod “yeah- if I can get these stupid shoes on with this dress in time” I sat down on the bed slipping my foot in and trying to buckle the stupid tiny buckle with my nails, they were super pretty and Carm loved the scratches he got with them, but in terms of tiny things I always found myself struggling. 

“Here-“ he knelt in front of me “Hold this Honey” he hands me the hem of my dress and I pulled it up for him. He carefully adjusted the straps so they were straight, before buckling it “that good? Y’want ‘em tighter?” He asks and I shook my head 

“No- no. Thank you it’s perfect baby” I offer my other foot to him and he repeated the process. “You’re the best, Carmy, really. Sorry I keep needing your help when I go out” I said, kissing his cheek gently before he got up. 

“Can’t blame yourself baby those things are… ridiculous. I dunno how they’re comfortable” he outstretched his hand to help me up. 

I took it and kiss his lips lovingly once he pulled me up. “They aren’t. They just look pretty” I grab my purse once more, spraying on my perfume. “Now we’re ready” I said with a smile.

We got to the church with 5 minutes to spare before the service started, so we were able to find the back row where Richie, Eva, some random blonde that I’d assumed must be Eva’s mom, Syd, Fak, Natalie, and Pete, both of them with a kid in their lap were sitting. 

Sugar spotted us first “Oh! Yay! You made it sweetheart how are you? You look so beautiful” she smiled 

“Oh my gosh no way you all look so cute I love her little dress ohhh my gosh Carmy look at her!” I said happily 

“Yeah - Hey, Uh- Moms not-“ Carmy asked her quietly. 

“Bear - “ she almost laughed “She isn’t around until she can prove to me she's sober again” she said before turning to Fak who was sat next to her. “Honey, move down please! Look at all that row sweetheart” she nudged him with her elbow. 

“Hi Winnie the Pooh” Fak said, sliding down enough for Carm and I to squeeze in next to sugar.

“Hey Neil! Hope you’re well it’s nice to see you.” I sit down next to Carmy, crossing my legs.

“So is she your girlfriend yet?” He asked Carmy, nudging his shoulder gently. 

Carmy sighed deeply. “Yes, yes Fak. She’s my girlfriend. And we’re at church buddy. So it’s quiet time yeah?” He asked and I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle how he took after Sugars tone with him. 

“Thanks Winnie nice to see You too- Your dress is pretty” he told me and I smiled 

“Aww! Thanks bestie. Love the suit you look snappy” I said and held Carmys hand, kissing it gently. 

“It’s great t’see you guys!” Syd waves and I lean forward to see her better - But Carmy didn’t even say anything.

I look at him, seeing he was totally not here. “babe” I ask and he breaks his spaced out gaze on the large stained glass window up front and looked at me.  

“Mm?” He looks over at me. I rubbed his hand gently. 

“Everything okay sweets?” I asked softly and he nodded a bit.

“Talk ‘bout it later” he said and squeezed my hand gently. 

“Okay…” I said and hooked our arms together before relacing our fingers. 

I watched as he went back to staring at the same stained glass window, and resumed that way throughout the entire service unless we were participating in something. 

It worried me a bit, it seemed like he was disassociating - as to avoid what I wasn’t sure.

When we got back to the car I crossed my legs, buckling my seatbelt quietly and holding my purse in my lap. “What’s goin on baby?” I asked. 

He shrugged, shaking his head a bit and starting the car. “Nothin.” He said plainly 

“Mmm.” I mutter. “Funny cause you said we’d talk about it later” I said casually, pulling down the visor mirror on my side, reapplying my lipliner. 

“Talkin ‘bout it now. And I said- nothin” he said shortly, starting the van and backing out of the parking spot. 

“Ahhh of course because saying “nothings wrong” would have been too easy so instead- you added 3 extra words to tell me we’d talk about it now?” I pushed, carefully lining below my bottom lip. 

“D’you ever drop anything?” He asked, annoyance lacing his tone. 

“Mmm- no. I don’t..” I grinned teasingly 

“It’s none of y’fuckin concern that’s what it is.” He said, rolling the window down and lighting a cigarette as we pulled up to a stoplight. 

“Ohhh! Meeeeowww!” I teased, fishing my phone out of my purse. “Someone’s in a sour mood.” I tut, “I never got the invite to your pity party- did you forget about me lovey?” I teased. 

He rolled his eyes, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand. “You love pushing my fuckin’ buttons.” He muttered before taking a drag. 

“I loooove it. You know, you’ve yet to rage fuck me yet. Which is surprising- you’re 90% rage, and I’ve only gotten the 10% of soft.” I said, running my hand up his thigh until I got to his bulge, slowly stroking it over in his slacks. 

“You couldn’t fucking handle it.” He said, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t fuckin test me.” He grumbled, flicking my hand into my lap and hitting the gas as the light turned green. 

“Oh- oh- is that a challenge, Bear. You think I can’t take you? That I - can’t take you?” I scoffed, dropping my phone in the cup holder. “I find that a little rude. Where have your manners gone?” I drag my nails over the inside of his thigh, smiling to myself as his breath hitches.  I knew he was stuck in a loop about something negative- and since he didn’t want to talk about it- he likely needed to fuck about it. It was a system we’d created- kind of an unspoken one. But he would ruminate, and brood like a big baby - if I couldn’t coax it out of him with my words, he’d probably been so pent up with nowhere to put it so he needed to release all those hormones before he could get it off his tongue. He always did, after a long day the pillow talk we had would usually be intense feelings of self-doubt and fear of the restaurant failing- even though it was never close to failing. He’s worried about who knows what and needs to escape with something he has that will remain consistent, and something very accessible- and that something usually happens to be me.

“I’m fuckin driving” he said, but his growing arousal beneath my palm begged for me to continue. 

“Mmhmmm? And?” I asked, gripping him firmly at the base of his cock that was prominently showing now. 

“Y’fuckin- Jesus Christ” he hissed, holding the steering wheel with a white knuckle grasp. “Such a little fuckin-“ he gasped lightly as I grip him tighter. 

“What” I goad. “What? Finish the sentence, Carmy.” I tease, running my thumb along the vein I’d already memorized, feeling his member jump in the grip of my hand at the action. 

“Dirty fucking whore.” He hissed, cheeks pink at the admission. 

I giggled. “Awww- it’s nice to finally hear you say it” I teased, dragging the edge of my nail along his rock hard head

“J-Just-” he swallowed thickly, eyes locked on the road, refusing to break to meet my gaze

“Juuuust” I goaded, adding pressure and he whimpered

“Y’re fuckin evil” he said through clenched teeth, swallowing thickly and shaking his head lightly. “I said I’m fuckin driving.” he repeated, hips involuntarily bucking up into my grasp.

“So?” I asked, gently dragging my thumb over his waistband “Did you want me to stop, Bear?” I asked and he inhaled sharply, slightly shaking his head. 

“Ohhhh-oh! So you like when i’m a dirty fucking whore for you?” I questioned, my hand stilling over his goosebump-ridden skin.

“Do what y’gonna fuckin do” he muttered, swallowing thickly. 

“Fine” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling my skirt up my waist, slipping my panties and nylons down in one go after kicking off my heels into the footwell of the passenger side. 

“What’re you-“ he glanced over at me as I hiked my right leg up on the dashboard after pushing my seat back to lay down. 

“I’m doing what I’m gonna do. You said it yourself Bear - I’m a dirty fucking whore” I responded, angling myself so he could see and spreading myself out for him “so wet for you” I said in a sultry tone, gathering the sticky slick on my middle and forefingers, before bringing it right in front of his lips. 

“Don’t you love how dirty I am?” I teased, rubbing the sticky arousal on his bottom lip

He flicked his cigarette out the window and opened his mouth, taking my digits in and sucking them, humming in satisfaction at the taste “yeah I know you fucking love it. It’s why we’re perfect together you’re just as much a freak as I am” I said, pushing my fingers further and he widened his jaw wantingly. 

I gasped a bit as he bit down on my fingers “Such an animal” I giggle squeezing his cheeks and rubbing my spit slicked fingers down his chin when he released me 

“You really wanna go right now when I’m tellin you I’m not in a good mood?” He asked

“If you’re in the mood- I want you. Otherwise no thanks but I think you’d have said something before now” I pulled my dress out of the way of my core. “You aren’t gonna look? You always tell me how pretty I am baby” I gently spread my folds, rubbing my wet cold middle finger over my clit gently “mmm it’s so much better when you do it Carmy, don’t you wanna touch me?” I begged

He glanced over at me, tugging his lip between his teeth as he fans over my position, eyes trailing down to my pussy.. “You can come up with what we were doin’ since you wanna be so fuckin’ needy and can’t wait a few hours. Little sex demon” he said, slowing down and turning into a post office parking lot that was deserted due to it being a Sunday. 

“I wouldn’t be so needy if you didn’t look so angry and your arms didn’t look so good in that jacket” I said, crawling in the back and sitting on the floor excitedly 

“One second anger scares you the next it turns you on- I can’t fuckin figure you out” he said, shutting the van off and getting out of the drivers side, and quickly opening and shutting the back sliding door when he got in.. 

“Yelling scares me but I think being your little stress toy is sexy cause you appreciate it” I lay back when he took off his jacket, laying it down for me like a pillow.

“Whats the word?” he asked before kissing my neck with nipping, hot, wet kisses.

“First - gentle on the neck and leaving marks baby were gonna be with your family, and second orchid” I assured and he hiked up my skirt.

“Good Girl” he said and spread my legs open, his tattooed hand finding my soaked core immediately and dragging his middle and ring finger up the slick, rubbing over my clit with quick light circles making my toes curl .  

I gasped, already feeling like every nerve in my body was on fire. He had managed in our times together to memorize every single thing that made me creen in pleasure. He wanted me soaked before he’d barely even touched me, because that gave him the satisfaction of having memorized my body and the way it reacts to every little possible stimulation. 

“Your good girl” I breathed, tugging up my skirt higher so he can kiss over my stomach and hips how he usually did, during moments of intimacy he wanted to feel and taste every part of me I would let him - it felt more like worshiping if I was honest with myself, but when I thought about it I would get way too worked up. 

“That’s right princess” he gently nips on my skin. “How could I ever be rough w’you? Mmm? When y’so fuckin sweet? And so fuckin good f’me?” He hums, settling my thighs around his hips. 

I giggled, breaking up the gel in his hair as he kissed over my naval and hips, and gently massaging his scalp. His eyes fluttered shut in bliss, his kisses slowing before resting his forehead on my stomach and letting out a satisfied sigh at the action “Youre gonna have freshly fucked hair” I teased. 

“Don’t care. Mm keep touchin’ me please. Fuck baby-“ he rested his chin on my flesh looking up at me “I missed y’touchin me. So bad. Just touch me however you want” he begged, causing me to smile, a warm loving blush heating my cheeks. 

“You like when I touch you?” I gently caress his cheek and he leaned into it like a man starved. 

“I love it. I need it baby- really. I miss it so bad when y’cant.” He took my hand, kissing my palm. “I need you” he said softly. 

I swallowed hard, trying to relieve the growing lump in my throat and I cupped his cheeks lovingly. “I’m always here” I said softly and pulled him into a sweet messy wanting kiss 

I wrapped my arms around his back, gently playing with the hair at the base of his neck, smiling into his lips when I felt the goosebumps adorning his neck. “The reason we’re back here is cause I need you” I said sultrily in the shell of his ear, kissing his jaw gently. 

“I know ‘m sorry” he unbuttoned his pants and I cup his jaw bringing his attention back to me. 

“That’s not how I meant it bear” I said softly, gently moving his hands out of the way and unzipping them for him. “I love touching you, you know what right?” I asked as I untucked his shirt, gently running my hands up his toned stomach, feeling him lightly shiver beneath me 

“Uh- yeah…yeah- I do- I just sometimes feel like…I dunno. I ask f’r too much” he said quietly 

I rubbed over his abs, gently squeezing his hips and trailing my palms over his ribs beneath the loose fabric. “When do you ever even ask baby? I offer. I know you like it so I do it” I pull him closer, kissing the exposed bit of chest from the top 2 buttons being opened. 

“Is it weird when I do ask?” he questioned softly and I look up at him. 

“No. It’s not, it’s sweet and it’s healthy, Carm. It’s good to be loved” I gently kiss his neck and he guided me to lay, pushing himself free of his boxers and slacks, and lining himself up before gently pushing in. 

I moaned out, locking my legs around his waist and pulling myself closer to nudge him deeper inside, arching my hips and whining as I feel the tip of his cock right over that spongy spot that made me sob and shake with pleasure 

“You are fuckin greedy t’day Jesus Christ” he breathed, holding my hips for me “so fuckin pretty” he said as he pulls out halfway before rutting into that spot and I gasp sharply 

“Fuuuuck oh oh- you’re fucked” I whine to which he chuckled, a satisfied grin on his face. 

“You said you could handle this babe” he reminded, pushing in deeper but slowly as to not hurt me, resting his hand at the base of my stomach. “Fuuuck I love when y’let me have y’like this baby I can get so fuckin’ deep feel this” he said, taking my hand and resting it at the base of my stomach, slowly thrusting in. 

I felt the movement beneath my hand, my jaw slack and the most lewd pornographic noises coming from my chest “s-so- so big” I whined out dropping my head back in bliss and eyes fluttering shut 

“That’s right baby my good fuckin’ girl- my fuckin girl. Y’take me so fuckin well princess like Y’re fuckin made for me ye? Like y’re made t’take my fuckin’ cock? Mm? Made f’me to fill with my cum?” He asked as he started the relentless pace. 

I couldn’t even think - I just nod quickly in response “made f-uckkk yes- yesyesyesyes made for you I’m yours” I slurred, reaching down and rubbing my clit causing me to clench around him tightly 

He grunted, looking down and watching my fingers spreading around his cock as I rubbed myself “yeah? Y’like bein’ mine? Mmm? Y’like that I fuckin own this pussy? So goddamn greedy - needin’ me t’fill you up twice already today and it's not even lunch” He thrusts harder causing my back to arch sharply

Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes now at the waves of pleasure that were so intense the air around us felt like it was crackling with electricity.  I opened my eyes once more to find his gaze locked on my cunt, mesmerized by the thick white strings of arousal sticking to the base of his cock before snapping as he thrusted in and out. 

“Mmm isn’t it so fucking pretty were so pretty together baby” I moved my fingers faster, sitting up on my other elbow and nearly collapsing again at the new pleasure it brought. 

“Woah” he noticed, quickly wrapping an arm around my back and my head drops back to meet his gaze as he stopped thrusting 

“Fuck me oh my god fuck me- I- can you please? My- my knees can’t touch the floor my thighs are too short when I’m up on your lap you’re right i’m so fucking greedy for you I need you please fill me up please claim me”” I said in a needy tone, my breath rapid and uneven. 

“You are going to be the death of me” he groaned, holding the backs of my thighs and sitting me up on his hips with his palms on my ass, before leaning on the back wall of the van and thrusting up into me, hard and fast.

My eyes nearly rolled back before closing, my jaw slack with pleasure. I nodded quickly, tears spilling over my cheeks as he continued. Fireworks and stars float behind my eyes and I clutch the seat next to us with a white knuckle grasp to have some tether to my body. 

“So fuckin pretty” he grunted, fucking up into me harder “y’want me to fill this pretty pussy up? Mmm? Y’want me to fuckin make sure y’drippin the rest of the day? My little whore” he kissed my neck roughly and I couldn’t even warn him before my hips were shaking and my core was squeezing and releasing around him in a way that told him I’d reached my peak. 

My whole body felt waves of heat rushing through, everything felt so good it was starting to feel painful but I couldn’t ask for him to stop- I wouldn’t. I had never felt so good before, physically, mentally, emotionally. I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. The words fell out of me before I’d even registered the thought wasn’t just a thought, and was really coming out of my mouth. 

“I fucking love you” I cried out. 3 months. Three. That was it. That was all I’d had of him, and I’d known I’d loved him for probably 2 of those months. And had bitten my tongue and avoided the issue and successfully evaded his weird roundabout questions that would allude to me being in love with him until now. So if he didn’t feel the same, this was all we had, and all and would ever get. 

“Shit. Say it. Say it again baby been wantin’ it so fuckin’ long now” he rasped. I opened up my eyes, looking up at him to see his gaze was locked on me, like I had hung the sun in the sky just for him. 

“I love you Carmen.” I said honestly and he moaned, resting his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. I smelt his minty breath mingling with mine, hot as it fanned my lips. 

“Yeah? Say it- fuck- say it one more time angel” he said, hips stuttering and thrusts becoming more sloppy. 

I cupped his cheeks, feeling as if we were the only 2 people left on earth and all we had was time.  “I fucking love you, bear” I said while looking into his eyes and he whined quietly, spilling into me so much that it began leaking out onto his thighs and the curve of my ass before he even pulled out and drawing me into a deep, fervent, wanting kiss, wrapping his strong arms around me and keeping his cock nestled deep inside as we exchanged hot, loving, messy kisses.

“Do you- do you really?” he asked when we pulled away to breathe, both of our chests moving up and down rapidly. 

I nodded, swallowing thickly “It- It slipped out…I didn’t mean to tell you like this - I wasn’t thinking- I know it scares you- I- I wont say it again if it-” he stops me by kissing me again, slipping his tongue over mine and wrapping me in a bear hug, leaning against the door and sucking on my tongue gently.

I hum in satisfaction, closing my eyes and letting him have me. “Say it whenever you want, please” he said softly when he finally pulled away. 

“You- you don’t think you can say it?” I asked, biting the inside of my lip nervously.

I had a feeling he was in love with me, but I’d been here before with someone and the L word scared them off. But the guy has been essentially living with me since we started seeing eachother - what else would that be!?

“No - No…honey thats not- I-I love you - ‘msorry, I thought you could… that you could tell what else should I do?” he asked and I smiled wide.

“Saying it was the only thing you were missing- oh and maybe coming home on time once in a while to show me you actually like being there- but nothing to be sorry for, I see you baby” I assured him, gently kissing his sticky sweaty cheek. 

I felt like I was in the most beautiful dream ever, There was nothing more that I wanted than him, and this.

He buried his face in my neck, sniffling softly and remaining quiet for a few minutes, before saying “We should go home and change, theres definitely cum all over that dress” he joked. His voice sounded slightly horse, and when I sat up to look at him he quickly wiped away a tear staining his cheek.

“I love you, and you don’t have to say it all the time baby - I’ll probably say it a lot more than you cause it’s just how I am, and I know you, and how you are. You show me with your actions how much you love me, and thats what I need. I know baby, I know you love me. I can tell you love me, every day” I wiped the stray tears from his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, gently cupping his jaw. 

“How could you know if I never said it?” he asked and rested his hands on my lower back.

I took a deep breath, sighing softly as I thought with a small smile on my lips “Lets see… you always make me lunch- and dinner - you always watch shows I wanna watch, you actually listen to me when I talk about them- and notice things, and ask me questions. You always say thank you, even for small silly things like when I rub your hair, or when I make you your coffee. You compliment my crochet and costume making, and ask me about the books I read. You bring Persephone little toys and treats on the weekends when you have to hang out with her while I do inventory with Sadie. You always push yourself for me- even though I never ask you to, like bringing me flowers- or that time you bought my perfume because it was getting low and didn't say anything? You show me, Carmy. Every day, to be loved is to be seen. And you are always showing me that you see things about me that I didn’t notice you could even see because I thought I hid them well enough” I asked and he nodded a bit

“Now that you mention it… I guess I didn’t know what it meant, I knew I felt for you like- differently… then anyone before. But I felt like it would be too fair to call it love” he said and I pout a bit

“What do you mean, fair?” I asked and he rubs up my back gently with flat palms

“Fair to me. I didn’t think that something that felt so good could be love, that it was like- the universe fuckin’ w’me again. And something er someone  would take you away from me as soon as I called it love” he said and I gently kiss his chin, then lips, then the tip of his nose.

“Love can be scary, I keep waiting for me to do something and you just…turn. Like- like a monster or something. But it's not to do with you- because I can’t ever see you doing that, It’s just my past relationships scarred me so deeply that I'm just waiting. Like the day I dropped the cup at the restaurant, I thought you were gonna yell at me for some reason- even though you've never yelled at me. My ex would have yelled at me for hours over that- but you didn’t. You told me it was okay, and you cleaned it up and never rubbed it in my face or anything. That healed something in me, like- i’m not so scared to make a mistake around you anymore, cause it’s happened and you reacted healthily. So every time you think I'm going to leave, and I don't- it's going to heal a small part of a fear like that in you, and make this all alot less scary. At least- that's what my therapist says” I shruged a bit. 

“I’m glad it’s with you. Being in love.” he said softly, eyes fluttering shut as I gently brushed my fingers through his messy hair to look a bit more contained. 

I smiled, kissing his forehead gently “I’m glad too, Bear. I wouldn’t wanna love anyone else”

“Where the fuck have you guys been? Hey sweetheart- did you go back home and change?” Richie asks as we came in the kitchen.

I was baring a bouquet of flowers and Carmy was holding a 2 bottles of wine “sorry! Yeah my heels were bugging me it’s my fault” I said giving him a hug and he kisses my cheek

“You better not be pregnant yet the holidays are the worst time - also Richie will you quiet your loud mouth I just put Bee down” Natalie says as she comes by giving me a kiss on the cheek and ruffling Carm’s hair 

“Wine? Look at you Bear she’s turned you into a real adult- takin’ gifts to parties like a big boy” she teased, taking the bottles and he rolled his eyes 

“She’s not pregnant and you’re not funny” he took my hand, pulling me to him and rubbing my back gently.

That was another thing- the family now saw us as the next couple to get pregnant - even though we’d hardly been together a year - Because ‘they dont want our kids to be the only cousins being left out when the girls are older, I guess maybe I should take it as a good thing and being they’ve accepted me as one of theirs

“Let’s sneak t’the backyard before they can rope me in t’somethin yeah?” He whispered in my ear 

“Okay” I smiled, kissing his cheek gently and lacing our fingers together as he leads us towards the back door

“Hey! Carm I didn’t know you were coming who’s this?” An older man says and I turned around 

“I didn’t know you were comin’ hey Unc- this is my girlfriend, Winnie” he said and I smiled 

“Hi” I wave shyly to the older man. I’d never seen him before, Carmy did mention though he had been paying an Uncle Jimmy back for money Mikey had borrowed for the restaurant but no one else - so this must be him.

“Ahhhh okay, Hello Winnie - what a name. You are just a sweetheart, Is this one treatin’ you good? I can knock some sense into ‘em. You ever need anything you come find Jimmy okay?” he teased and I smiled a bit

“He is nothing short of lovely but I promise I’ll pass word if that ever changes and take you up on the offer” I joked and he smiled 

“She’s gonna fit in just fine here, Carm. Where’d you find this one?” He asked and Carm shrugged a bit. 

“Just. Around. Moms not coming is she?” Carmy asked and I looked up at him

“Who knows kid. She told me she’s off the bottle but- who knows” he said with a shrug and Carm nodded a bit. 

“Don’t tell ‘em where we went, please” he opened the back door, tugging me outside and shutting it behind us. 

“If my mom comes we’re leaving” he said and I crossed my arms. 

“You don’t want me to meet her but you love me?” I asked and he chuckled dryly.

He hadn’t spoken much about her, the most I’d known was that she’s a raging alcoholic- had driven a car through their family home at one point, but when Natalie had her first baby she cleaned up for about 6 months, then fell off again- and has been going months in addiction, then trying to clean up for a birthday or something like this, and the cycle maintains that way. 

He digs his cigarettes out of his jeans, pulling one out. “I don’t want you to meet her because I love you. Don’t pull that. Is that gonna be a fuckin’ card for you now because I was honest?” He stuck it between his lips and lit it.

I felt my stomach twist. He was already starting to fly off the handle and say things he didn’t mean. That little comment would absolutely be a deeper conversation when we did get home - because I didn’t appreciate it in the slightest.

“A card?” I scoff “what do you mean card. This isn’t a game, Carm, this is our lives, There are no cards.” I took a deep breath to try and regulate myself. “You don’t really talk about her. And I don’t want to push you- but what is it is she mean? Is it just that you think she’s gonna hate me?” I questioned and he rubbed over his forehead, exhaling smoke away from us.

“Winnie it’s not even- this isn’t even the fuckin place t’talk about it. No she’s not- she’s not fuckin mean she just has issues okay. And she - she fuckin yells it’s more for your sake, she’s all fuckin loud and I don’t want her freakin you out and - I— I just don’t want her showing up and if she does oh well, we’ll be gone before she knew we were here. I don’t even want her knowing about you. Not right now at least. Whenever we get married or whatever the fuck - sure I’ll tell ‘er, but before then she just has the potential of fucking this up” he said before taking a long drag of his cigarette. 

Of course. This was all leading back to his abandonment issues. Most of the issues in our relationship related back to my anxiety around death, and his anxiety around being left alone because he’s ‘not good enough’ in his mind. We couldn’t keep basing our relationship around fears or we’d never grow- so, I pushed.

“Your mom isn’t gonna scare me away. I don’t care if she is a screamer. My mom was a screamer. Chris didn’t have to deal with it- I did. By myself. So trust that I can handle it. I don’t want you getting comfortable yelling at me because I have to live with you. But I love you, and I love everyone else we’ve met in your family, and so I’m sure I will like her if she shows up.” I said and he shook his head. 

“No. No. I don’t wanna hear what she has T’say babe. Good- thank you- I’m glad - I-I’m happy you aren’t gonna fuckin leave but I don’t want to hear her fuckin mouth, Winnie. Shes gonna have somethin to say about you, about us. And I- I can’t handle it. I care about you too much and I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut and I’m gonna ruin the entire night. If she chooses me the whole night will get ruined because if she chooses me you’ll start and then she of course can’t -“ he shut his eyes, breathing deeply. 

He wasn’t budging about this, or even willing to compromise with me - and his telltale signs of a panic attack started to show, quick breathing, flushed skin, scrunched brows, literally shutting himself off by squeezing his eyes shut.

“Baby” I said softly, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his middle. “We’ll go. We’ll go.” I assured him, gently running my finger over the bulging vein in his neck with a featherlight touch. “You’re so stressed love, breathe” I rub my palm gently over his racing heart. 

“This is why. I can’t even fuckin think about it Winnie, I can’t” he wrapped his arm around my waist and took another drag of his cigarette. 

I had to break this thought loop he was stuck in right now. I could see the gears turning in his mind, each and every worst-case scenario playing out in great detail like a film reel. It was something that my therapist had taught me during sessions and I had eventually picked up on, and started doing it with Carm. She would ask me a random question about something I love, so Taylor Swift, or Music Festivals, or Cats, and get me really into talking about it - and all the negative thoughts just snap away.

“How many kinds of vinegar are there?” I ask and he raised his eyebrow in confusion. 

“Vinegar?” He asked and I nod. 

“All  kinds. Well- I’ll be fair I guess cooking kinds, are there other kinds?” I gently fixed his chain to face the front. 

“Anything that is a fruit vegetable or a grain can be a vinegar, honey- why are you asking me this?” He questions and I shrug. 

“Because I wanna know. So ew you can make onion vinegar?” I scrunch my nose. 

“Uh-“ he took a drag of his cigarette “yes babe but…who the fuck would want that?” He asked, a small hint of a smile on his lips, my trick working as it usually did.

“What about balsamic vinegar, what is that?” I asked, sticking my hand under his shirt and holding his hip, stroking little lines into his skin with the pad of my thumb. 

“It’s grape juice vinegar instead of wine vinegar to put it simple” he said and I nod 

“You’re smart” I said, gently kissing his jaw “so so smart. It’s sexy” I said and he gently squeezed my bum

“What’s all the interest about vinegar babe you writin’ a book?” He teased and I giggle into his skin

“You’re not stuck in a loop anymore that’s what” I kissed down his neck. “And I was thinking about it in church. I was like what is red wine vinegar. Oh yeah and what is it?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“Mmm so full of questions sweetheart. They take red wine, then they ferment it, and then they add a culture-“ 

“A culture like yogurt?” I asked and he hummed 

“A culture like yogurt, that’s right little Sous someone’s been listening when I go on about work stuff huh?” He said, patting me gently. 

I smiled proudly “I love listening t’you. Okay keep going smarty sorry for interrupting” I said and he threw his cigarette butt down into the ash tray on the rail before wrapping his other arm around me and leaning against the wall. 

“Well not much else princess, they just ferment it and then add the culture then they put it in a barrel to ferment” he explained and the door opened 

“Bear Richie needs your help he’s fucking everything up with the lamb can you please come in?” Natalie asked 

“I literally sent him a text of what to do step by step” he huffs, “You wanna do the lemon zest honey?” He asked me as we went inside 

“Sure, I’ve been told I’m you’re best zester” I teased and he chuckled as he rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands 

“You are my best zester and my best girl.” He kisses my temple when I come next to him at the sink to wash my hands.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

After I’d dressed the lamb and put it in the oven, I went and sat on the couch with Sadie and Winnie who were deep in conversation about something I couldn’t even pay attention to at the moment. Because Nat had pulled me aside about 25 minutes ago to tell me mom is coming, but only for dessert- and only because she’s ’on the mend again.’ Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. 

She’d been ‘on the mend’ and uncountable amount of times since Natalie's kids had been born. Each time was unpredictable to say the least. I had completely given up on her ever becoming fully ‘healthy’ whatever that means, a long time ago. But if she would at the very least be honest and not have to make a huge scene of being removed when she shows up drunk after she swore she would be ‘sober as a nun’ that would be at the very least more respectable. 

Natalie had begged me to stay. Said I was the ‘only one she’d talk to’ which felt like bullshit- because mom and I don’t talk. She talks and I listen - and I told her if she’s drunk we’re leaving. I have a bad feeling Winnie and Mom won’t take kindly to each other especially if moms drunk. Of course that wouldn’t be Winnies fault, but the point still stood strong. Also- Syd is here, and I don’t want Syd dealing with that. So if mom does show up - which I really hoped she wouldn’t and was just trying to give Natalie some false hope she still cared about the family at all since Mike did what he did - I’m taking Winnie and Syd and getting the fuck out of here.. 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Winnie laughing loudly “Sadie you are gonna piss him off stop” she rubs my arm 

“I think it’s precious baby don’t listen to them” she said and I look up at Sadie who’s showing Syd a video on her phone and she gasps before slapping her arm and laughing 

“Sadie stop!!” She laughs “A) he doesn’t carry a bag B) he doesn’t have a mustache- but everything else is accurate in that” she took a sip from her wine glass

“What? Are you making fun of me?” I asked and Winnie laughed a bit, a frisky grin on her face

“What!? Never baby it’s just a silly joke how we’re like..a common match I guess. It’s only a joke” she explained and I extended my hand 

“Let me see” I told Sadie and she shook her head

“You weren’t paying attention so no” she teased and I roll my eyes

“Children” but I couldn’t help but smile a bit. That was something I did around Winnie a lot. Richie was right, she is very funny, in strange ways but she is. It’s more of a childlike randomness then anything else but it tends to really draw people in. It drew me in. I still hadn’t had a chance to ruminate over what happened earlier. 

I do love her. I just feel scared that I said it, that now I did there really is another shoe waiting to drop. It almost felt like another secret, because if it’s not i’m gonna be drilled with questions. Questions that I likely don’t have the answer to and won't until I talk it out with my therapist like every other fucking thing in my life. It was starting to revolve around that woman. Or thats what it felt like. I’d been seeing an individual therapist for only 2 months out of the three we’d been dating. I’d started after breaking down in Nat’s car at 3 am that one time. She’d told me she was either dragging me there, or she ‘couldn’t be around me anymore’ because it hurt her too much to see me ‘spiraling out like Michael without the drugs’ .

I’d thought she was being dramatic, sure the only reason I broke down like that was Winnie, and I refused to stop seeing her so that would no longer happen - but I also couldn’t stand not seeing and talking to Nat so often, I forgot how much i’d missed her in New York and her …. nagging. Strangely enough. 

“Bear-” I felt a grab on my shoulder and see Nat standing there “Let’s go outside yeah?” she said and I nodded a bit, looking over at Winnie 

“Be back in a second yeah?” I kiss her head and she nods turning back to Sadie listening to whatever story she was telling her

I shut the door behind us digging a cigarette out and lighting it. “You’re quiet tonight” she leaned against the rail and watched me. 

“A lot going on in case you haven’t realized” I muttered, taking a drag and looking down the street to avert her gaze. I wasn’t gonna go into everything right now, not here - and not when mom is gonna be here who knows when because she’s said that she was coming to dessert before and then came hours before expected because she thought Nat had told her 6 when she’d really told nat 8.

“Is it…Winnie?” she asked, and I suddenly felt annoyed at the thought that anyone could ever think she did something to me to intentionally make me feel this way

“No- no. Why would it be? Its fuckin mom. Winnie was all fuckin excited to come here and be here with all of you- because i’ve told you I don’t want her around mom- so since I was told she 100% was not coming I decided - oh how fuckin nice- she talks about never havin’ a fuckin family to do shit with, and never having been to a fuckin dinner like this- and now day fuckin’ of you drop on me she’d be here. If I’d have known, I’d never have come here. I’d never have told her. Because she loves to be apart and she - she wants me to feel good about shit like this but I can’t when mom’s involved. And now - it’s gonna be a whole fucking thing t’night when we get home. And its not her fault she sees when im upset, and its not her fault she can be normal when talking about shit like this. And its not her fault were all so fucked up. So it's not Winnie- Its us. Its who we are as a fucking family unit. So thats what it is, Nat” I said and finally looked over at her. 

She sighed deeply, nodding a bit. “Shes smart, Bear. And strong as any one of us, i’ve talked to her, you know? More then just once. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, and you’re a good person, Carm. She’s not pestering you, she’s worried about you. But we all know how you love worrying about your own shit so much that you can’t see the people around wanting to help.” she said.

“Thats why I don’t want her around mom. Because I know she wont be able to stand her, Nat. She’s….she doesn’t let peoples shit slide. And I’m worried because I can’t control her- I- I wont. It’s one of her…rules” I sighed a bit.

“She gives you….rules?” she asked.

“Not like that- just like- ‘do this and I’ll leave you without question this is your warning’ and one of ‘em is If I ever seriously try to control how she acts around anyone were done. Which I can understand shes a girl and all that” I stomp out the burning butt under my shoe.

“See- shes smart. And It will be fine as long as Mom comes sober and stays that way. She wont start anything with anyone as long as she is. Can you just please, please do me a favor and try to keep her away from the liquor, Carm? We’re putting it away before she gets here but… She can’t be around the kids if she drinks and Bee’s been fussy and I can't let Charlie see her if she gets drunk without anyone looking. I can’t keep an eye on her, but you can! Please Carm, please” she begged.

“No- No. Fuck no, actually. Fuck that- and fuck this, Natalie. No, I’m not leaving my fucking girlfriend alone tonight, so I can chase mom around the house to make sure that she doesn’t drink. I’ve told you. I don’t want to be a part anymore of her fuckin’ bullshit! What are- are you even getting out of this, Natalie? She’s not a grandmother, she’s an extra child you bring around presenting as a fuckin’ grandmother because you want y’r fuckin’ kids to have what we didn’t even have. Newsflash, Nat- To know how to be a fuckin’ grandmother? You need to have been a mother- something she’s never been good at. I’m glad you took me out here because the last thing I needed was mom showing up - and me being expected to play fuckin’ alcoholic sitter all night. Enjoy your shit show with mom”

 I turned around, opening the front door and having every urge to slam it, but holding back and shutting it calmly. I leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths and rubbing over my face. If I go in theliving room steaming, Winnie’s gonna cause a whole fucking scene trying to calm me down, well- not a scene - but she’d notice how upset I was off the bat, and then i’d make a scene trying to convince her I was fine when that was the furthest from the truth and spiral out of control when she didn’t believe me.

This was not how this night was gonna go. Not if I could do anything to help it. If Winnie wanted to do a big fucking family dinner at Nat’s or Richies, or something. Hell, I’d buy a fucking house and throw a dinner party there with everyone if it meant I kept her from being apart of this god damned dumpster fire of a situation. 

“Honey” I called from the hall, trying to keep my voice even and digging my keys out of my pocket.

“Comin’!” she called from the living room, a few seconds later showing up at the end of the hall and padding over to me with her glass of wine and her regular smiley warm demenor.

“Hey baby” I tried my best to put on a small smile, “Uh- I’m sorry…I’m not feelin’ good my stomach is feelin’ pretty fucked and I have bad heartburn, we’ll come back for the next one, yeah?” I told her, wrapping my hands around her hips and pulling her closer. 

“Oh no! Sweetheart, you have barely eaten today mm? That may be why your tummy is buggin’ you. Lets get you something small before dinner and you can lay down and see if it passes? If not we can go, The lamb you made is smelling so good baby I wanted to try it, I’ve never had that before” She asked sweetly, gently rubbing my chest. 

Damn her always having solutions. 

“No- honey… please- please? I just wanna go home and lay down and watch our shows, I can’t even hold anything down right now- can we?” I asked gently, leaning against the wall. 

Before she could even answer, my entire world spin and flew off of its axis. I wanted the ground to swallow Winnie and I up and send us somewhere that was anywhere but here. The entire house silenced, other then the near bane of my existence but also the unfortunate giver of life I was currently living out.  “No! NO! If my SON doesn’t want to see me, He will TELL ME WHY Natalie! He can EXPLAIN HIMSELF! I am not a child! I can HANDLE MY OWN SON YOU MY FUCKED UP LITTLE WANNABE AS MUCH AS YOU TRY TO REPLACE ME - ARE NOT HIS MOTHER!”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡