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mikaxoriki · 2 months ago

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Reset and replay | a nishimura riki of 𝗘𝗡- fic ᴅ𝐢𝐬ℎ 001' [🍽️]

Idol!ni-ki×fem!reader [proofread]´ | <note from chef mika : ℬℴ𝓃 𝒶𝓅𝓅ℯ𝓉𝒾𝓉ℯ!´> |

Sneak peek(🔎):You've always loved your boyfriend riki but does it all matter when your relationship has no point of improvement and you keep going back to where it started?...

ingredients💭:fluff,angst,comfort,depression,mention of self harm.

No calls,no messages.

You've been staring right through your phone for hours,eyes burning not just from the screen but from something else deep within.Your boyfriend riki has gone on a tour to the states,you've been seeing clips from fan accounts on your socials.You were happy really,but you just feel so stupid right now sitting on your bed holding onto your phone for any updates from your boyfriend.Is it really that bad,you have to scramble through your socials to find fan accounts made for him and see him through the screen,if he's doing well,if he's all smiley?.No,when did it ever get bad to this point?.Thinking about it,it has happened a long time ago.At that time you were just busy telling yourself it would be fine,brightening up because it was just the start.The start is what that has brought you to this.When you had first met him,it was simple.He didn't have any schedules walking freely around chrome hearts,his supposedly favourite store.That's where you met him,one look and he got you staring.God was he handsome,on a second thought he looked really cute more like a duck? Yeah that's what you said to yourself when you found him unconsciously pouting while paying the bill in the cashier counter.After that you started seeing him frequently and sometimes you had gone just to see him.When he noticed you,you guys really clicked.Had same interests,fun talks,love for figurines.When had it started hurting really? Have you been lying to yourself all this time?.

It was not okay,it is the time to accept it.You thought you were the silly one missing him like crazy full well knowing that he's an idol and he's really determined in making himself successful.Years of late night dance practice even when he was with you,you'd be on the floor leaning back on the wall,eyes threatening to close shut and take you to a peaceful sleep.But no,your boyfriend was there working himself to the bones.You had to stay awake support him,offer him water and cutted fruits because you really cared for him.You would tell him to take a break of atleast 10 minutes but he just looked at you with that adorable grin saying he's fine.Sometimes he would consider it and would sit beside you,playing with your hair or with the water bottle in his hands leaning his head on your shoulder,scooting closer.You liked it even though he was all sweaty.You both were really in love at that moment.But now? oh you don't ever want to doubt his love for you but it's been hard lately like you're the only one who's trying,who's pushing hard.You have decided to at least show up to one of his concerts or attend a fan call,it broke you that you had to pay to see him.A fancall would do you thought as you lifted your heavy limbs to walk and get your card.

You punched in the code,the website "weverse" loading your transaction.After some minutes animated confetti shower fills your screen "You've won a fancall,congrats! " It felt empty,the mere words generated by the app to provide excitement was only breaking you more.You were shaking.The fan call was in five days.Five more days,till you see him.This was it.You had a small dinner by yourself watching your favourite show remembering how riki also loves it.You quietly entered your bedroom not bothering to shower and change into your pyjamas or do your skincare.You plopped down on the bed pulling the warm cozy blanket till your neck,hair splayed across the pillow.You usually braid your hair to bed to avoid getting it tangled but you don't now.Tonight feels suffocating, without him on the side of your bed,clinging onto you like you're his lifeline.He was there to make the cold side of your pillow warm,even if he's not physically here sometimes.You would facetime eachother talk about latest memes and funny things or rumours that gets passed on around about him by the netizens.Sometimes a full yap session on what you've both missed out on each other's life.It was nice and fulfilling.

You silently pull the blanket over your head,leaving out a shaky breath.You quickly press it down on your face.Your lungs burn at some point,your vision blurring.Your throat was burning and your eyes were watering.You need him like the oxygen you're so deprived of right now.It's painful,you never thought about yourself here in this moment at the start of your relationship.Moving on from exes were so easy,you backed out the moment you saw a bit of red flag behaviour.But you can't here not when you love him so much that you're suffocating yourself.You don't like to call him a red flag,it's you who is stupid and hurt.He is working hard there and you're here crying like a silly over literally nothing.Void consumes you as you enter into an unconscious state of sleep.

The next few days are haunting,a quick blur.It all merges into this day as you sit on your desk,your phone facing you.The front camera staring right at you,catching your face.You quickly fix your hair and makeup and double check.Clearing your throat awkwardly,your eyes dart to the time display on your phone.Just three more minutes.You fixed your dress again not wanting to sit idle and then your phone freezes momentarily before another screen joins in.You gulp nervously putting on a smile and checking if the lighting is okay.The screen is a little blurry before it fully focuses.Ni-ki emerges from under the desk,mumbling to himself as he dropped something.He sits comfortably in his chair and finally his eyes focus on you.His brows scrunch a little before his eyes widen.You open your mouth to greet him.In a hushed whisper he cuts you off "What are you doing here?My manager is right there y/n.Do you want us to get caught?"right,usual ni-ki when he is panicking.You put on a smile again.

"Hey it's been a while since i saw you" you speak casually getting the hint and acting like a fan.He replies back"How are you? I think I saw you in our concert in LA right? You were the one holding up the duck banner.Yeah?".You nod quickly,composing yourself "yes,you remember!.I'm fine.How are you?". "Ah im fine of course just busy with comeback preparations" he says while you think of it as a subtle reply as to why he's not available.But his tone lacks the warmth reserved only for you,right now he's talking to you like you're his beloved fan maybe because his manager is right there and things could go wrong.Or maybe it's always been like this for a while.You remind yourself to not overthink as you speak through, "I miss seeing you,hope you're doing fine" you say as to subtly convey your worries.Not confiding in it,he waves dismissively with a quick masked laugh as he replies casually to you like you're just a fan.

The call ends in a blur,the timer ringing from his side as you guys quickly exchange goodbyes.As soon as it ends and your screen goes black,you put your hands over your face,regretting acting like a fan.That's not what you wanted clearly,this is not enough.Maybe a concert? well if he doesn't act like himself in a fancall how is it possible in a concert.Your heart twists painfully as you let yourself cry.You think of your little self,always so unsure,picking around your nails,scared to make friends.World felt so large and unfamiliar.Will you let yourself tell her that you never changed and somehow she is always there afraid and lonely.You thought you were all grown up now,only to find yourself crying covering your face,letting the pretty makeup get ruined.You dolled yourself up for what?for hurt?,for pain?.Maybe you were always like this,maybe you failed as a person to give yourself attention and self love.You've always been one for self hatred or self loathing.Quickly regretting things you do or you say.You wish you were better,you always did.But with ni-ki things like that disappeared,it faded in the background,only living around his smiles and just him.

Maybe you depended too much on him,you were always clingy at some point.Not physically maybe but emotionally? You give yourself in wholly to whomever you love and right now you love riki.You think that's what has led to this.You love calling him riki while no one else did,quietly liking the meaning that his name means strength in his language.He was your strength,your love,your trust,your rock.Everything you had to look forward to.He was your dream and you sure did achieve it but it feels so distant.Runny nose,swollen eyes,somethings never change you think to yourself as you wipe at your tears.You lean forward for the tissues,so white and so fragile like you in a sense.Easily gets soaked,like you are right now in tears.But it makes some things go away,so maybe it's different.You can't ever make this depression clinging onto you like a second skin go away,ever.Would you ever be fixed?,tearing yourself away from this misery is as hard as building a skyscraper.Insecurity,embarassment,anxiety, overthinking,self doubt,low self esteem....what else honestly?.You think when these emotions came crashing down,it was your first ever real depression.You couldn't bear it,couldn't deal with it.You told no one.Looking at your old cut marks on your delicate wrist makes you shake and cry more,the mark so faint.Going through it was like walking through hell,your mind was your own punisher.Pushing you to self harm and self destruction.You cut your hair,wore new dresses,put on a pretty smile.You've come this far yet you still feel it,the old you.The you who is very fragile and is on the edge of breaking.You wish people were able to put up with you,you wish you had a normal mind.Getting sad only when necessary like normal people.Oh,how bad you want to be like others again.Does time really heal? Or does it push things back only for it to burst out like a volcano at some point? You never knew.You just missed him so much,you miss riki.But you can't ever bring yourself to cry like this in front of him.Opening up is hard when you've buried your old self to the ground around him.Now that he's not here,it's acting up again.You plan on running back to his arms.You don't want to tell him though,you know he's really stressed and overworked.

You quietly pull out your phone and swipe up the screen to unlock it.The brightness hurts your eyes,hissing frustratedly you lower it.You open your contacts and text jake and jay,your boyfriend's bandmates.You send out a quick greet and start texting about the surprise plan you've been wanting to do.You carry on with your day,waiting for their reply.You open your phone screen momentarily to check your notifications.When you were about to go to bed,you receive a notification from jake first.He agrees and says he will start preparing excitedly.He is a big enthusiast of your relationship with riki after all.Five minutes later when you're scrolling on spotify to make a new playlist,you receive a text from jay.He says that he heard from jake and they both will request their manager to let you make a surprise visit in the name of a family member specifically his younger sister's friend.The fake cause of visit is an urgent family matter to be passed on and since his family is on a vacation out somewhere,they've sent you.Perfect lie.Sure you do know sola,she's cute and funny but you feel nervous thinking about keeping up that facade while being watched by his manager.Days drag on as you receive a text from them that the company has accepted the request and the said date for the visit is a month away,you can stay with him there for about a week.You focus on trying to heal yourself but it all goes wrong anyway.Typical you.The sun shines through your curtains everyday but you're the one who's not shining at all.You pick up on your old depressive habits.It felt comfortable but consuming.You know you're gonna drown in it one day and lose yourself.Right now all you want and love is riki.You have to hang on for him.You have to be there to keep loving and supporting him.A goal to your insignificant life.That's what you think it is.

The day arrives as you drag your packed suitcase along the disinfected airport floor,you look down at your reflection on the floor for a moment.The jet lag was crazy,you feel so tired.The ache in your bones won't go away but you are here.Finally doing what you wanted to do.You're gonna meet him after so long.You open your phone's lockscreen to quickly look at riki's pic,he was smiling like a goofball with you in his arms posing for the photo.A lovely mirror selca is what it was.You fan yourself using your hands to make the heat in the atmosphere go away.It was really hot,you wish you dressed more lightly but you're more like all covered up.You thought it won't be that hot,well...your fault it is.You reach the destination as you look from side to side in search of the car the company has sent to pick you up.Suddenly you hear a horn from the far left corner and you recognise it.It's his manager's car.You cross the road cautiously reminding yourself to act like sola's close friend as you pull the black car's door.Making yourself comfortable in your seat,you pull back your phone and inform jay and jake that you're on your way.Taking in a deep breath you look out the window to stop being so nervous.The city was beautiful,just like riki mentioned in his chat with a fan that went viral.

The car pulls up to the hybe company,the big building standing tall in front of you.You look up to take a quick look as the sun hurts your eyes.You also click a photo as it's your first time visiting your boyfriend's workplace.Sighing you make your way into building by passing the revolving door.The interior was grand,well it had to be.It was the most famous k-pop agency after all,one of the big three's.They get the most money out the idols like your boyfriend.You enter the lift as you spot some staffs in there too.The manager guides you to enhypen's dance practice room.You hold your breath seeing the big bold inked letters on the door reading "Enhypen".You quietly push through the door,you could hear the new song blasting through the speakers and the loud instructions from the dance mentor.Heavy smell of sweat and cologne hits your nose as you step in.All of their heads turn towards you on the click of the door shutting except one,your boyfriend riki.

He's in the corner tired and unbothered.Sunoo gasps loudly as jake and jay remind him to treat you like sola's friend in hushed whispers.They exchange glances before calling riki and walk towards you.When riki really turns to look at you,he's surprised.He almost hugs you but jay stops him,telling him that there's a supposed hidden plan.He co operates though,sending quiet longing glances from his place.When the practice is over and everyone leaves including the staffs and his manager especially.He runs to you,arms woven around you as he pulls you in close leaving a relieved sigh.You bask in his warmth."Sorry,i was kind of off during the fan call" he says immediately.You pat him in the back to quietly let him know that it's okay.You pull back to look into his eyes before you place a quick peck on his cheek.He holds you like he's never letting you go."Seriously though,i never thought you would come this far to see me" he says with a grin."Just missed you,you know?" you try not to sound too cheesy but the laugh from him assures you that you just did sound cheesy.Now he's gonna tease you forever with it.That's what you think but "okay i kinda missed you too..." he says trailing of shyly.THE nishimura riki getting shy? No way...,you giggle to yourself and he only finds it more endearing.

The door opens and a figure emerges interrupting your moment,"oh sorry,i just left my airpods here" jungwon says cheekily before leaving the room with a thumbs up in your guys direction.You let out the breath you didn't know you were holding in,"scared much?" He says calmly toying with your baby hairs on your forehead.Sighing you say,"I don't know,i still feel so cautious around here as i lied saying that I'm your sister's friend".He waves it off dismissively,teasing you about being careful.You both decide to go to his dorm.You are greeted by loud screams when you step in,it's heeseung and sunghoon playing league of legends.Typical them,you sigh to yourself as you both head towards riki's room.Looking around his room,you see the joker figurine and some cool stuff that's just so him."Sit" he pats the edge of his bed,you comply sitting beside him.His hand extends to hold yours but he stops,"Wait....why is there dry skin around your nails?Have you been picking on them?" He says examining you.You stop fidgeting with the hem of your shirt "Oh,uh it's a habit of mine" you say drained of the energy you had now that you had to act like you were fine again."Don't ever do it again" he says before standing up to get a hand cream offering it to you.You apply it gently,the cream cool on your dry skin."I don't really use it but you should" he states while all you could think was how he can always see right through and how you always manage to hide it and get away.You've been playing these games with him for long enough,does he really not know? or is he just pretending?.Pushing out your thoughts you cuddle with him on the bed,his hands swung over you like a koala.Hours pass and you can't sleep much instead you prop yourself on your elbows, leaning against the headboard to look at his peaceful sleeping face.He probably must've thought you were asleep.The depressive thoughts resurface again,you try to push it out as tears silently fall from your eyes.You have been sleep deprived for long,it's disturbing.Insomnia was an issue solved long agao when you met him.Yet you are here again,in his arms right where you wanted to be but you can't seem to sleep and shake off those thoughts.They are becoming a part of you,slow and consuming.This time nothing makes it right,your heart still aches the same way when you miss him.It's like you have him right here in your arms but you can't reach him out for comfort.Is this real struggle?.You opt to quietly look at the clock and the slow rhythmic ticking of the clock spirals you into a deep slumber.

Days pass and you have a good time with riki,the thoughts consuming you momentarily.The final day arrives and you're left feeling empty at the start of the day.Grumbling to yourself you finish your breakfast.Then you go out with riki,spending time in places you didn't know existed.It was fun but you couldn't shake off the fact that this is the last day.The final day before you fall deeper without him.You want to keep seeing him but his job forbids you.Night arrives quickly and you make dinner with him,knowing nothing about cooking you both make a mess in the kitchen until jay arrives for rescue.Finally after dinner and some games,you're spent.Calling yourself out for a bathroom break,you stand in front of the mirror looking at your reflection,the colour draining from your face now that you're alone again.You fix your hair to cover your eyebags,pulling a few strands of hair infront of your face to look normal."I was thinking we should stay up late and play some video games" you yell closing the bathroom door to enter the living room only to find riki on the couch sleeping.Your eyes soften as you quietly try not to step on the legos you had built earlier.You plop on the couch beside him fidgeting with the hem of your oversized shirt.No,his oversized shirt.You consider taking it back with you when you leave next morning.

The members enter bidding you goodbyes and saying that they had a good time with you staying over in the dorm.You look off the whole time and the members notice it.Jay is the first one to question it,"Are you really that sad? He's gonna be back in a few months you know." he says trying to soothe you.Even if riki didn't sense it,the members had always known of your depressive side.Your smile fades quickly sometimes when you're alone and it is very noticeable.Maybe riki doesn't notice it since he's really close but everyone from a third person view can.You nod hesitantly,a tear slipping out before you can even stop it.The members face fall as they exchange worrisome glances.They offer you comfort and give their word that somehow they'll get riki to be in touch with you even when he's away from you.You can only glance at riki every now and then to assure that he's comfortable sleeping,half heartedly nodding at their words.They leave one by one and suddenly the living room is empty.It's just you again now.You place a feather light kiss on riki's forehead as you head towards his bedroom.You turn on the lights and start packing,stealing a few of his things and clothes.Throwing in some tees and hoodies of his,you still had a lot to pack.The night drags on as you stay awake and keep preparing for your flight tomorrow back home.You cover him with a blanket and leave a note on his table with few of your hair ties in the middle of your packing session.You know he loves wearing your hair ties around his wrist everywhere that fans question it sometime.

You leave early in the morning,jay the only one up to cook breakfast greets you as you have as your breakfast."Aren't you gonna wait up for ni-ki,you know say goodbye to him?" he says glancing at you."No but i did leave him a note,he'll know".Jay frowns but understands and bids goodbye as you finally step out of the dorm.The fresh air blesses your lungs as you wait for the cab to pick you up.The ride is silent and finally it pulls up to the airport.Dragging your suitcase along,you quickly look at your reflection on the airport floor again.You seemed so drained to yourself.Taking a seat nearby,you wait for your flight.You pull out your phone and check the time,riki must've been up by now yet you still recieve no texts.You smile sadly to yourself leaning back on your seat.It has always been like this.Push and pull with him was not fun to you.You wanted to keep in touch no matter what only for him to shut you off randomly,making you doubt your relationship with him.He acts like you don't exist at all,completely ghosts you but then again he is there holding you and making you happy.It was for him maybe not for you,when he needed a person to spend time closely with,he chose you.Maybe you should've stayed just a friend.The airport announcement shakes you out of your thoughts as you enter the plane and take your seat.

The jet lag catches up to you by the time you wake up to return back to your home.Weakly dragging your suitcase you take yet another cab to your home.You enter pocketing your keys after you unlock the door,the house still a mess just as you left it and you're here again to become one with it.A mess.It's the same the continuing days,he never texts,you cry questioning it again,the members try hard to make riki interact with you but he doesn't acting annoyed on the mere mention of your name,they hide it from you how he acts like he despises you.But you know from the lack of texts or calls once again that he's back to himself.Maybe it's just you who can't escape out of this with your depression and deep love for him.You hope everyday that you live a better life.Maybe next time,next life,maybe again with him but not like this.Not like reset and replay.

𝒞ℎ𝑒𝑓'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒:It's my first dish and the opening of my restaurant "The spice route".Hope you had a good meal!.Leave ratings!!. [✩✩✩✩✩/✩✩✩✩✩].

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makiitoh · 1 year ago

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wrestling video essays

Super Eyepatch Wolf

Professional Wrestling is Stupid and Beautiful and I Love it

Intro, Kayfabe, The Montreal Screwjob, The Pipebomb, The Golden ☆ Lovers

The Undertaker: Long Term Story Telling in Wrestling

The Undertaker, Time (as a concept), 90s novelty wrestling gimmicks

Villains in Wrestling: Making People Hate You

Heels (as a concept), Los Ingobernables de Japon (incl. EVIL, Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi, SANADA), Bullet Club, Gorgeous George, Bray Wyatt, MJF, Kagetsu

The Unreality of Pro Wrestling

Roman Reigns, The Shield (Reigns, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley), Sami Zayn

F.D. Signifier

The WWE's complex "Black" history

specific focus on Black men in the WWE

lil bill

The wild world of Black wrestlers

broader focus on Black wrestlers across multiple promotions

NeoJoshizzle

Maki Itoh pt. 1: the fired idol

Maki Itoh pt. 2: finally a happy ending?

Wrestling Colin

The Greatest Pro Wrestler Who Ever Lived Died in the Ring

Mitsuharu Misawa, AJPW, Pro Wrestling NOAH

#the bullet points are for broad ideas/wrestlers introduced in the videos #i may add to this! and of course if you have any recommendations please let me know!#wrestling #video essays #video essay recommendation #video essay recommendations #video essay recs #wrestling video essays #mine

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drgnflyteabox · 6 months ago

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a little kate laswell x gn!reader drabble

-> insecurity, anxiety, hurt/comfort, relationship worries, OCD, sooooo self indulgent lmao, self-hatred, therapy, compulsive behaviors, ableist language used towards self, shame, this is literally nothing and theres no real ending so mb <3

You've been working on it. You have. The anxiety; the fear of abandonment. Kate leaves so often she's probably gone almost half the year, anyway. Your relationship isn't exactly built on physical closeness, and as the years go by you feel more and more secure.

She fits, you fit, your cat Cheddar fits. The house fits, even though it sometimes feels too big when she's gone and you're still a little afraid of being home alone.

Security's tight, babe, she's assured you a dozen times. Locks, alarms, the whole nine yards. Everything works. You're usually close to sure about that.

So, you’ve worked on recognizing which feelings are rooted in reality, and which feelings sometimes come from insecurity, or jealousy.

Sometimes, it's fear. That old braying beast in your head, muddling up reality (Kate loves you) with unreality (she hates you, your life is a lie).

You know where it comes from, but that doesn't always help. On the bad days, it even makes it worse. Something is wrong with you, really really wrong. Irredeemably wrong.

Kate's been on an op three months. Longer than usual, but you've been through it a couple times. It's a serious one, so you haven't even gotten more than the odd phone call maybe once every week and a half.

Which fucking sucks normally, but its worse when you can't seem to shake the voice in your head that says she's found someone else, that she's delaying coming home because she's sick of you.

You do have a small laugh at the one that tells you she's got a secret family – even in the state you're in that's a ridiculous thought.

Still, it doesn’t break you from your worries. You begin backsliding. Your hands chafe from washing them, your water bill climbs and climbs and climbs as a result of your compulsive showering.

Am I too dirty? You think. You feel dirty. Contaminated. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you anymore, doesn’t love you. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, not with your insanity.

This is the cycle.

Someone will break in. You check the locks an even number of times. But did you? Okay, shower to ‘set’ the locks now, or someone really will break in. Don’t think of Kate. She hates you. Oh, hey Cheddar. Good boy. Did you lock the doors?

You’re exhausted. You lose track of the days, working robotically at your computer, burning your nose with the scent of bleach wipes. There’s not even any real cleaning, just you compulsively wiping the same four surfaces over and over.

When the wood starts showing a little damage from the incessant wiping, you cry in the fourth shower of the day.

You lose track so badly that you’re in bed rotting when Kate gets home.

The door opens, and your heart drops with fear – fuck, it’s happening. Then you check your phone and deflate. Fuck, you think again, for a different reason.

“Baby?” Kate’s voice is clear in the empty house. It makes you think of all the dust laying around, about how you usually tidy before she arrives.

You pull the cover over your face. Shame burns your face, injects lead into your muscles.

“You home?” she calls again. Cheddar meows, probably at her feet.

That’s how she finds you. Prone, upset, eyes burning.

“Oh, baby,” she murmurs. Her weight makes you dip towards her when she crawls on the bed. “Bad day?”

You pull the blanket down.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I meant to clean the house for you, and cook you something–”

“Hey,” she puts a finger to your lips, slipping in beside you to cradle one cheek in her rough palm, body pressed to yours.

You can’t help but lean into it despite feeling wretched, despite feeling like you’ve dirtied everything around you lately.

“I don’t need any of that, honey. I appreciate it, but I’m really just excited to see you,” she presses her mouth to your jaw. Not to entice, but to breathe you in, to feel you for the first time in months.

“But it’s awful,” you mumble. “It’s dusty, dirty, disgusting–”

She stops you again.

“Hey now, it looks fine to me,” then a frown. “How long have you been feeling like this?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. It’s the truth.

“Have you called Dr. Klein?”

“No,” finally, a tear slips down your temple. You’re confused, and angry about these feelings; why now? Why when you’ve recovered?

Kate tuts, wiping at your tear with a thumb. She climbs halfway on top of you, looking down at your face. She looks tired, which makes you feel even guiltier.

“God, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this when you’ve just gotten back.”

Her frown deepens.

“Baby,” she starts. “We take care of each other, remember? What have we talked about?”

“Asking for help is okay,” you murmur. That’s one of the worst parts about this thing you have, the obsessions. They dress themselves up as the world's worst taboos. Speak them aloud and make them not only come true, but alienate everyone around you. In high school, you’d hardly spoken for fear of accidentally revealing your anxiety.

That in and of itself had been a years-long journey to heal in therapy. With Dr. Klein, with Kate, with yourself.

“Think we better set up an appointment, huh?” she says, and there’s no judgment in her voice, no sign of hatred.

“Yeah,” you whisper. You tilt your head towards her, and feel her nose against yours.

“I missed you,” she says, breath mingling with yours.

“I missed you too,” you say back.

#drgnfly writes #cw mental illness #kate come cradle my face pls #can you tell i made myself an appointment #aha #kate laswell x reader #cod x reader

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docgold13 · 9 days ago

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The Folks behind the Toons

Walter Lantz

Walter Benjamin Lantz was born on April 27, 1899, in New Rochelle, New York. The child of Italian immigrants, Lantz became fascinated with cartoons after seeing Winsor McCay's animated short, Gertie the Dinosaur.

Lantz worked as an auto mechanic in his young adulthood and often created elaborate drawings for the garage’s bulletin board. A wealthy customer was so taken by these drawings that he offered to finance Lantz's studies at the Art Students League of New York. This patron also helped him land a job as a copy boy at the New York American; Lantz worked at the newspaper and attended art school at night.

By the age of 16, Lantz was working in the animation department of International Film Service studio under director Gregory La Cava. Lantz then worked at the John R. Bray Studios on the Jerry on the Job series. In 1924, Lantz directed, animated and even starred in his first cartoon series, Dinky Doodles (which included animated retellings of Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood).

After moving to Los Angeles in 1927, Lantz was hired by Charles B. Mintz as a director on the Oswald the Lucky Rabbit cartoon series for Universal Pictures. Lantz went on to become an independent producer, supplying cartoons to Universal instead of merely overseeing the animation department. He won the intellectual property rights for Oswald Rabbit in a poker game and continued to produce and direct numerous Oswald shorts for Universal.

During this time, Lantz recruited New York animator Bill Nolan onto his team. Nolan had previously worked on Felix the Cat and is the artist credited with perfecting the ‘rubber hose’ style of animation. This was a more fluid, somewhat undulating, type of animation where characters and objects are in constant motion. Rubber hose style animating went on to be a trademark of Lantz’s work throughout the 1930s and much of the 40s.

As Oswald the Lucky Rabbit became less popular, Lantz and his crew began churning out new characters they hoped would catch on. This included Meany, Miny and Moe (three knucklehead chimps), Baby-Face Mouse, Snuffy the Skunk and Doxie the Dachshund. Yet it was Andy the Panda who stood out and resonated with audiences.

Andy Panda would become Lantz's headline star up through the 1940s. One Andy Panda short introduced a particular wacky woodpecker who would drastically change Lantz’s career.

As the story goes, Lantz was on a lovers’ retreat with his fiancee, actress Grace Stafford. The couple were bothered by a woodpecker who would wake them up early in the morning rattling away at the roof. Stafford suggested Lantz use it as inspiration for a cartoon and Woody Woodpecker would go on to debut in the 1940 Andy Panda short, ‘Knock Knock.’

Herein Andy and his father, Papa Panda, are bedeviled by an unnamed madcap woodpecker who is pecking away at their cabin. The unhinged character was a huge hit with audiences and Lantz quickly produced subsequent shorts featuring him, naming him Woody.

Woody was much like the popular Loony Tunes character, Daffy Duck, only with the craziness dialed up. The woodpecker was altogether manic, with some shorts even concluding with Woody having to be carted off to an insane asylum. The legendary Mel Blanc provided the voice acting for Woody, blathering on in a hyperactive stream of words, hoots and hollers.

After Blanc accepted an exclusive contract with Warner Brothers, other voice actors stepped in to imitate Blanc’s original performance, including Danny Webb Kent Rogers, Dick Nelson and Ben Hardaway (although Woody’s laugh and many of his noises were reused recordings of Blanc).

Audiences loved Woody and the character would star in numerous shorts throughout the 1940s and 50s. Woody transitioned to the small screen in 1957 with the premier of his own series, The Woody Woodpecker Show.

Lantz married Grace Stafford in 1941. It was Lantz’s second marriage; he was previously married to and had a child with Doris Hollister. Lantz and Grace stayed together for the rest of their lives.

In 1948, the Lantz studio created a hit Academy Award-nominated song entitled ‘The Woody Woodpecker Song.’ The song was featured in the short film Wet Blanket Policy. Mel Blanc sued Lantz for half a million dollars, claiming that Lantz had used his voice in various Woody Woodpecker cartoons without permission. The judge ruled for Lantz, saying that Blanc had failed to copyright his voice or his contributions. Although Lantz won the case, he paid Blanc in an out-of-court settlement and Lantz began searching for a new voice for Woody Woodpecker.

Grace Stafford had offered to voice Woody, but Lantz turned her down believing that the character needed to be voiced by a male actor. Grace auditioned for the role anonymously and won the role. She would go on to act as the primary voice actor for Woody throughout the late 1940s and into the 60s.

Around the time that Grace Stafford began voicing Woody, the character’s appearance and behaviors were altered to make him cuter, less crazed and more of a heroic character.

Herein, Woody would offer face off against a number of recurring adversaries. This included Buzz Buzzard, Wally Walrus and Smedley The Dog.

New ownership transformed Universal into Universal-International and the studio altered many of its company policies. The new management insisted on owning licensing and merchandising rights to Lantz's characters (particularly Woody Woodpecker). Lantz refused and withdrew from the parent company by the end of 1947, releasing 12 cartoons independently through United Artists. Lantz’s production firm struggled following its departure from Universal and briefly shut down in 1949.

Production resumed in 1951 when Lantz was able to persuade director Tex Avery to leave Warner Brothers and come to work for him. Avery, Lantz and Paul J. Smith developed a new character, a penguin named Chilly Willy, who stared in the shorts, I'm Cold and The Legend of Rockabye Point.

Avery also directed the shorts Crazy Mixed Up Pup, and Sh-h-h-h-h-h for Lantz. Both Crazy Mixed Up Pup and The Legend of Rockabye Point were nominated for an Academy Award (the two losing out to Warner’s Speedy Gonzales).

With cartoons transitioning to television, theatrical shorts became less in demand and Lantz’s studio was one of the last solely producing animated shorts for the silver screen. Lantz eventually gave in and began making television shows beginning with the Woody Woodpecker Show. Many of the theatrical shorts he produced were broadcasted on the show, including cartoons featuring Andy Panda and Chilly Willy. Lantz himself appeared at the beginning of the show to introduce the shorts, similar to how Walt Disney would appear in episodes of the Micky Mouse Show.

The Woody Woodpecker Show ran from 1957 to 1960 and was later rebroadcasted as a Saturday morning cartoon series (albeit with Lantz’s appearances removed).

Lantz went into semi-retirement in the late 1960s and spent much of his time contributing to various charities. He entertained the troops during the Vietnam War and visited hospitalized veterans. He also visited hospitals throughout California and drew pictures to entertain the younger patients.

Lantz served on the advisory board of the National Student Film Institute throughout the 1980s and, in 1993, he established a $10,000 scholarship and prize for animators in his name at California Institute of the Arts in Valencia, Santa Clarita. Lantz died at St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank, California from heart failure on March 22, 1994, at age 94. His ashes were interred beside his wife Gracie who had passed away two years earlier.

#Cartoon Heroes #Walter Lantz #The Folks behind the Toons #Woody Woodpecker #Grace Stafford #chilly willy #andy panda

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belongstocaptaindoyle · 3 months ago

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LEO BILL as REGINALD BRAY in THE WHITE QUEEN S1 E6 (part 1)

#leo bill #reginald bray #the white queen #love and death #my gifs #🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️#' to queue or not to queue '

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ladybugmania · 3 months ago

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(To the tune of "A horse is a horse, of course, of course")

(Think 1960s sitcom jingle vibes)

Verse 1:

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

Unless she's yelling in Congress discourse,

She gallops through bills with wild remorse,

It’s Marjorie T, the hoofed tour de force!

Chorus:

She neighed on the floor and filibustered fate,

Believes that space lasers control the state,

Snorts when she speaks and kicks up dust,

Thinks facts are optional — trust is just rust!

Verse 2:

No one can talk to a horse like her,

She debates with mirrors and calls it a spur,

She tweets in all caps, neighs in reply,

And swears JFK Jr. is still alive!

Bridge:

She munches on bills like a bag of oats,

Wears tinfoil hats with conspiracy coats,

Says windmills are woke and vaccines are plots,

She’s the queen of Q and unfiltered thoughts!

Chorus 2:

Clip-clop goes Marge down the House hallways,

As logic runs off and reason decays,

But give her a mic, she’ll bray and she'll preach,

About Satan in Starbucks and freedom of bleach!

Outro:

So if you hear hooves on Capitol Hill,

And see someone hoofing with zero chill,

Don’t call the vet — no need for concern,

It’s Marjorie Greene — now trot and adjourn!

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just-chaotically-me · 2 months ago

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"Yes. I can confirm, undoubtedly, that we are stuck in the middle of nowhere and a long way from where we need to be," Henry said.

#henry dubois #memphis campbell #bill johnson #the king of crows #libba bray

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 7 days ago

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"The more I see of the moneyed classes, the more I understand the guillotine." - George Bernard Shaw

* * * *

Big Ugly Bill hastens demise of GOP

June 30, 2025

Robert B. Hubbell

Last week was tough, and this week will be, too, because Trump will be braying like a donkey about forcing the Big Ugly Bill on the GOP and the American people. I will circle back to the events of last week later in this newsletter, but it is important to recognize that the Big Ugly Bill is the high-water mark of MAGA extremism.

The fact that congressional Republicans are backing a historically unpopular bill that breaks the most basic promises that GOP candidates made in 2024 is a sign of desperation. They understand this is their last chance ever to gut health and social benefits. If it costs them control of the House, the Senate, and the presidency, they are willing to swallow that bitter pill.

No need to believe me. According to those few Republicans willing to speak the truth about the bill, including Trump's former “Best Friend Forever,” Elon Musk, the reconciliation bill is “an act of political suicide.” See Newsweek, Elon Musk calls Donald Trump's Big Beautiful Bill "political suicide".

Musk’s posts are linked to recent polling by a leading Republican polling firm (The Tarrance Group) that found that the reconciliation bill was wildly unpopular with Republican voters.

Musk had other choice words for the bill, including “utterly insane and destructive.”

A Fox “News” poll (conducted a week ago) found that the bill is even more unpopular among all voters. See Fox News, Fox News poll spells bad news for Donald Trump's "Big, Beautiful Bill"

Only 38 percent favored the bill, while 59 percent opposed it, a 21-point gap against the bill. About half of all voters believed the legislation would be detrimental to their families, and just a quarter thought it would deliver any benefit.

However, the bill has worsened since the Fox News poll. Over the weekend, the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office released a report estimating that the Senate version of the reconciliation bill will add $3.3 trillion to the deficit and result in 12 million people losing Medicaid coverage over the next decade. See Axios, Senate's "big, beautiful bill" would add $3.3 trillion in new debt: CBO.

And, as a cascading effect of the Big Ugly Bill’s increase in deficits, another statute will force cuts to Medicare of approximately $500 billion. See House Committee on Budget / Democrats, House-Passed FY25 Reconciliation Bill Triggers $535 Billion in Medicare Cuts.

Trump has muscled the bill through the Senate by threatening to mount primary challenges against any Senator who voted against the bill. On Sunday, GOP Senator Thom Tillis voted against a procedural motion to advance the bill. Trump posted on social media that he would find a primary challenger against Senator Tillis, who immediately announced that he would not run for reelection in 2026—and then took the Senate floor to speak the truth about the damage that will be caused by the bill. See Bloomberg, Trump Tax Bill Advances in Senate as GOP Scrounges for Votes.

Per Bloomberg,

Trump, who had been monitoring the Senate action this weekend from the Oval Office, swiftly threatened to find a GOP challenger to North Carolina’s Thom Tillis, one of the two Republicans to oppose opening debate on the bill. Rand Paul of Kentucky also voted against the motion.

The moment Senator Tillis was free of Trump (by announcing his retirement), Tillis took the Senate floor to acknowledge that the bill breaks Trump's promise not to reduce Medicaid. See The Hill, Tillis: Senate bill breaks Trump’s promise on Medicaid.

Senator Tillis said,

What do I tell 663,000 people in two years or three years, when President Trump breaks his promise by pushing them off of Medicaid because the funding’s not there anymore, guys? I think the people in the White House… advising the president are not telling him that the effect of this bill is to break a promise, Now Republicans are about to make a mistake on health care and betraying a promise, It is inescapable that this bill in its current form will betray the very promise that Donald J. Trump made in the Oval Office or in the cabinet room, when I was there with finance, where he said, we can go after waste, fraud, and abuse on any programs I am telling the president that you have been misinformed. You supporting the Senate [bill] will hurt people who are eligible and qualified for Medicaid.

Notwithstanding the opposition of Senators Tillis and Rand Paul, the bill will pass because Senator Susan Collins has once again allowed herself to be bullied by Donald Trump. She is a coward who has betrayed the people of Maine on too many occasions to count.

So, too, with Senator Josh Hawley, who went through the preening motions of opposing the bill, only to back Trump as he always does. It’s another “fist pump” to the insurrectionists on January 6, except this time MAGA extremists are coming for grandma and grandpa’s healthcare and retirement.

Democrats will take Senator Tillis’s seat—because his Trump-endorsed replacement must publicly state that they would have voted for the Big Ugly Bill. And Susan Collins’ political future is over. She currently has a favorable rating of 14% and an unfavorable rating of 57% in Maine. See Teagan Goddard’s Political Wire (6/27/25), Maine Voters Don’t Like Susan Collins.

With Tillis gone and Collins historically unpopular, Democrats have a shot at flipping the Senate. I know, I know—every political pundit and rating book says Republicans have the advantage in the Senate in 2026 because their spreadsheets and backward-looking models can’t model an election following passage of the Big Ugly Bill.

Indeed, the prognosticators are part of the problem because they engender “learned helplessness.” They tell us that history determines our fate. Not true! We are not electrons forming pixels on a spreadsheet. We are American citizens with the power to decide our future.

Below is a list of the Republican seats up for election in 2026. We need to flip five seats to be confident of a one-seat majority (and creating a cushion for vulnerable Democrats in red states).

Thom Tillis (not seeking reelection)

Susan Collins (Maine) (Same favorability ratings as disgraced Rep. George Santos before his resignation from House.)

Joni Ernst (Iowa) (Public Policy Polling (6/4/25), Joni Ernst Unpopular, May Face Tough Reelection.)

Lindsey Graham (South Carolina) (Newsweek (6/5/25), Lindsey Graham Gets Bad Polling News Ahead of Reelection Campaign)

John Cornyn (Texas) (Houston Public Media, U.S. Sen. John Cornyn rebukes report that he’s considering dropping out of 2026 race.)

Roger Marshall (Kansas) (Was roundly booed and jeered at during his only town-hall meeting; he blamed “outside agitators” because the truth hurts.)

Bill Cassidy (Louisiana) (Will likely face a GOP primary because he voted to convict Trump in the second impeachment; Cassidy was censured by Louisiana GOP.)

Tommy Tuberville (Alabama) (Retiring to run for governor.)

Ashley Moody (Florida) (Special election to replace Marco Rubio)

Mitch McConnell (Kentucky) (Retiring)

Shelley Moore Capito (West Virginia)

Tom Cotton (Arkansas)

Steve Daines (Montana)

Bill Hagerty (Tennessee)

Cindy Hyde-Smith (Mississippi)

Cynthia Lummis (Wyoming)

Dan Sullivan (Alaska)

Jim Risch (Idaho)

Pete Ricketts (Nebraska) (Replaced Ben Sasse; now seeking full term.)

John Husted (Ohio) (Seeking full term to replace JD Vance)

Markwayne Mullin (Oklahoma)

Mike Rounds (South Dakota)

Frankly, I wouldn’t take anyone off the list as being vulnerable. The massive cuts in the Big Ugly Bill will become the default target of blame for every denial of Medicaid, Medicare, Affordable Care Act coverage, and lost job, illness, or injury due to the war on green energy, cuts to FEMA, NOAA, NIH, FDA, and more.

None of the above will take the sting out of the reconciliation bill if it passes. (There is still time to call your Senators and Representatives! Use 5 Calls!) The bill will cause suffering, financial hardship, food insecurity, and lack of access to medical care for tens of millions of Americans. And our children and grandchildren will be forced to pay for the tax savings of billionaires and millionaires in the short term.

However, as we face another difficult week, we must not conflate the immediate loss with its broader implications. Republicans are willing to trash their prospects in the House, Senate, and the 2028 presidential election for a single bill. No one makes that kind of bargain unless they believe they have no future. And that is what Republicans rightly believe.

Democrats in Congress must join the grassroots resistance in raising the volume so high that no one in America will be mistaken about the cruel consequences of the Big Ugly Bill.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

#guillotine #george bernard shaw #Robert B. Hubbell #Robert B. Hubbell newsletter #the big ugly bill #medicare #medicaid

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