#bildad mention

[the-ineffable-queer]

Fellow Good Omens fans, I have a proposal about the J in Anthony J Crowley.

It stands for Jemima (as in "I'm Jemima! I made this pot!").

That's it, that's the post.

[wilyserpentofeden]

Highlights of ComicCon include but are not limited to:

-A Bildad the Shuhite cosplayer who showed off a long scroll "permit" signed by David Tennant and gave me a ribbon for my badge that says "I was cobbled/midwifed by Bildad the Shuhite". This same Bildad screamed in response to being given one of my snakes and said "I have lizards!" but I think the lizards were in a backpack somewhere so I didn't end up getting one, which is just as well because I'm sure Job wanted them back.

-An Aziraphale cosplayer who gave me a "missing snake" poster with Crowley on it, and the three subsequent people who showed me copies of the poster after being instructed to show it to any Crowley they saw. This Aziraphale's response to receiving one of my snakes was "Have I finally found him...?"

-The James Long For Jim Short For Gabriel cosplayer with a tartan toga, a cardboard box, and a matchbox with a little fly in it. He was very cool and he let me and my girlfriend re-create the "minor miracle" shot with him

-The person who asked for a photo of me and my girlfriend and then just casually slid friendship bracelets onto both of our wrists, hers said "oh Lord, heal this bike" and mine said "Vavoom" which happens to be one of my favorite s2 Crowley quotes

-The Aziraphale and Crowley cosplayers with huge wings that gave me and my girlfriend stickers of Blackbeard and Crowley as drinking buddies

-The 60s Ineffable Wives cosplayers! You were doing the Lord's... Satan's... well, somebody's work, anyway!

-Me amusing myself and no one else by joking that my feet hurt because I was walking on "comic-con-secrated ground". I made this joke at least three times

-The other Aziraphales and Crowleys that did the "Spiderman pointing at himself" meme with me and my girlfriend

-My good friends Tanya and Kassidy who were very patiently taking photos while my girlfriend and I re-created The Kiss. After the fact my girlfriend was like "that was the most violent kiss I've ever experienced in my life" and I was like "sorry if I hurt you but you saw the scene that was NOT a gentle kiss!"

-The Beelzebub cosplayer who, in return for one of my snakes, attempted to give me a fly that was intended for a Jim/Gabriel cosplayer. It was the sweetest thing ever but I gave it back in hopes that they'd find the Jim I saw earlier, and because, let's be real, Crowley would not take good care of that fly.

[bildads-shoes]

let it be known that if i ever unexpectedly pass away i want a QR code linked to this gif on my gravestone thank you

[queer-reader-07]

y’all do realize aziraphale and crowley are sheltering from the rain when they’re in the cellar during the book of job, right?

[bil-daddy]

Aziraphale ate too many ox ribs and now his tummy hurts...

Thanks a lot guys. I did what 61.3% you voted for and tried to seduce Aziraphale with a rack of ox ribs. And you wanna know what happened? This angel ate so much he made himself sick. Classic beginner's mistake.

So. There go all my plans for the rest of our date* night. What should I do now?

(*he still doesn't know it was supposed to be a date.)

[0n-a-mote-0f-dust]

Aziraphale really fumbled the bag, like shoemaking and obstetrics!?! It ain’t getting better than that buddy

[umarthiels]

[...] Ahab was now entirely conscious that, in so doing, he had indirectly laid himself open to the unanswerable charge of usurpation; and with perfect impunity, both moral and legal, his crew if so disposed, and to that end competent, could refuse all further obedience to him, and even violently wrest from him the command. From even the barely hinted imputation of usurpation, and the possible consequences of such a suppressed impression gaining ground, Ahab must of course have been most anxious to protect himself.

LAW TIME!

this is so interesting to me bc it calls back to the fact that ahab doesn't actually own the pequod! he's captaining it and he does own a share in it, but the real owners are peleg and bildad, and on shore he's accountable to them. even though on the sea he is master of the ship, he still answers to the owners, and in derailing the voyage from "hunting whales and making money" to "hunting moby-dick specifically", he is usurping authority! he doesn't (well, in the sense of ownership, which will come up later) actually have the right to do this! and if the crew were to mutiny against him (say, if a certain mate who isn't keen on the quest and prioritizes the commercial interests of the voyage over ahab's goal convinced them), legally they'd be in the right to do it, and arguably it'd be their duty to do it. (nautical law side of tumblr do correct me if i'm wrong) (the idea of whether ahab actually has ultimate authority over the pequod comes up later and it's all very interesting!)

this is extra fun since ahab knows this and is genuinely nervous that the crew might rise up against him. right now starbuck stands alone, and even he gave way to peer pressure in the end! the entire crew is enthusiastic about the quest, but if that wanes and they start to consider it, ahab will be in genuine danger! he can't actually answer to the charge of usurpation, he undeniably did it (within the framework of ownership of the whaling industry ofc) which is something that isn't really obvious in pop culture perceptions of him, he's not just some dictator, he's pragmatic about things!

[crowleyholmes]

I need to share a conversation I just had

Left the house to go to work, told my boyfriend "think about what we could do for dinner while I'm gone!"

He said "No :D" with the most shit eating grin you can imagine and closed the door on me

I text him and he texts back an image:

[somehow-a-human]

Can someone tell me why Bildad the Shuhite's hair grows 6" between scenes.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Look at his doofy, just brushing the shoulders, fake killing some goats look:

Compared with his long, luscious trailing down the back, on my way to faux murder some children vibe:

Continued under the cut.

Like, I know it's been mentioned before, at length, but what on earth are they wanting to show us with this? Is it meant to show a change in narrator? And if so, who is remembering who?

[kimberleyjean]

Good Omens S2 Discontinuity Roundup

Hello Good Omens fans! Did you know the Good Omens team has put a lot of work into making “errors'' in the second season? Whether you were already aware, or just catching up, please take a look at the links below. Clicking any link will take you to one of the original posts that mentioned the discontinuity.

This post will continue to be updated and extended as new meta are published. Is there anything missing that you'd like to add? Reblogs, comments or messages are welcome!

Why are there so many discontinuities? Well, existing theories include different perspectives being shown, time-loops, separate timelines, a story told “out of order” and more! What's your opinion?

Discontinuities across multiple episodes:

Crowley’s sideburns.

Crowleys’ sunglasses.

The bookshop clock is frequently showing the “wrong” time (and other time inconsistencies).

The bookshop porch pillars/columns are sometimes clean, sometimes marked.

Randomly dusty streets (on a closed set no less!).

Street signage (Maggie’s and 1001 nights).

Almost every scene with visible extras, see here, here and here for examples.

Episode 1

There's TWO scrolls in Before the Beginning?

Gabriel’s/Jim’s entrance happens twice.

Crowley's conversation with Shax in the park shows him putting down the newspaper twice, and Shax's bag is all over the place.

Honolulu Roast sign.

Moving lamps inside GMCoGMD.

Disappearing eccles cakes.

Crowley's watch is set an hour ahead of his phone.

Episode 2

The lane where Crowley parks his Bentley varies between being wet and dry as well as the position it’s parked in, the colour grading, and the amount of dust on the Bentley windscreen! Also - the backdrop of the lane where Crowley parks the Bentley is impossible.

The amount of dust on Jim’s book changes in between cuts.

Job Minisode - varying wigs used for Bildad.

Episode 3

Muriel's arrival continues from a much earlier scene in E2 - see here and here.

Aziraphale parks in an unexplained location before going to the Resurrectionist pub, and also mysteriously loses his suitcase.

Resurrectionist Pub’s outdoor sign has two versions (no I don’t just mean the Jesus side!).

Bentley now 4-door (may be explained by the transformation sequence).

Awning of a new age, extras are discontinuous and standins for Nina and Maggie are visible.

Edinburgh Flashback - Crowley’s muttonchops change in size during the mausoleum scene.

Episode 4

Each time they are at the Windmill theatre, items in the background keep disappearing.

The polaroids (yes, two!) on screen are different sizes.

The polaroid itself is very confusing with Crowley’s weird arm.

The morse code in Hell is saying something slightly different to the loud speaker...

Episode 5

Nina and Maggie switch places? (Who knew they could teleport like that lol?)

High ranking demons are bottom of the barrel?

The “Surrender the angle” sign is thrown in twice?

A child randomly appears upon exit from the ball (approx 32:36).

Episode 6

Gabriel’s statue sometimes has a cross, sometimes not.

Crowley/David's stand-in is visible as Nina and Maggie leave.

French restaurant Fairy lights.

Final 15 clock shenanigans - why does the clock change from 9:25 to 9:40?

Are there two suns at the end of the episode?

These are the one's I've seen published so far and I'll keep adding to the list as more are published. In the meantime, if you spot anything missing from my list, please share the post about it :)

[uziraphale]

All I know is that I love @bil-daddy's goofy side:

quite as much as his serious side:

Behind the Scenes

with @ennonymous-twink @bil-daddy (photo by Georgia Tennant)

myself, Ennon, Bildad, Keziah, Jemimah (who made a pot)

[werexpuppy]

I love the 1941 era, it gave us so many lovely scenarios and fics to play with (¬‿¬)🔥 and it's hard to resist her in that suit n tie 💕

I know a certain fussy angel has pictures perfect memory and saves those moments to sketch up later, then fumble around and hide as them hips swagger in with a HEY ANGEL!! WHATCHU DOIN?!🤣🤣🤣

Also the wonderfully helpful nightingales of Tumblr have provided some divine inspiration!

Such as our favorite midwife/cobbler!!

✨Bildad the Shuite✨ Need any shoes?

And our man bun ICON!! (//∇//)💕 It’s a crime against humanity we didn’t get to see this Crowley longer! I loved this look!!

As always I'm open to more suggestions on your favorite Crowley era! If you got one feel free to drop them like a sassy blonde dropping their dark brooding-you know what… Still too soon 💔

➡️ I’ll be adding more batches soon so stay tuned and check out the others I’ve done!! (ΦωΦ)

Reblogs with hilarious tags are more than welcome 💕

*I mentioned it in my first post but I'll be cosplaying as Aziraphale at next year's cons and I'll be setting up my booth to look like the bookshop! So I'll be selling all my good omens sketches and merch as the softest angel xD

[bildads-shoes]

I think it's fair to say that Crowley used to be more carefree. He seemed to smile a little more readily back in Eden, there seemed to be less of a mask at the Flood, and our beloved Bildad seemed a little sillier and softer than present day Crowley. So I've been thinking about how this gradual transformation might have happened.

I wonder he started off having fun with humans, spreading mischief when he had to and lending a hand when he could be subtle about it. I wonder if at the start it was a break from the loneliness of 'his side', befriending all these lovely little humans, the shortness of their lifespans giving their lives a sort of beautiful intensity in stark contrast to the millennia of stagnancy in Hell. I wonder if, at the start, Crowley spent much of his time laughing, connecting, happy.

Maybe it started to get heavier as the number of connections severed by human mortality mounted. Maybe he was dragged down to Hell too many times after too many not-quite-subtle-enough acts of kindness. Maybe as the generations went by, the cost of loving this brilliant, painful, beautiful world started to tip the scales in the wrong direction.

Crowley loves the world. He loved all of creation so deeply right from The Beginning and never stopped. But the world can only love him back in the briefest of stints before adding another pound to the unfathomable weight of grief he now bears. Grief that no being could possibly prepare for, let alone one who is unlikely to have encountered death save for the long past Great War.

It's not hard to understand that someone would be less carefree after 6000 years of that.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hey maggots PLEASE CALM DOWN ONE MOMENT PRESS CONFERENCE.

Okay. Have we stopped screaming? Okay, nice. *taps mic* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your--I mean, hi, Good Omens fandom and maggots. I was going to make a new intro post eventually, but after you all flattened my notes with eldritch screeching I think a press conference is more fitting. Especially considering the phrasing of these beauties:

Maggots I love you but look me in the eyes and tell me you're not journalists reporting straight to the Times, with full honesty. You cannot. The how do you feel about this is only missing several microphones with news outlet names all in my face and that's wonderful. Entirely valid. Press conference time it is.

First, for those of you who do not need a Q and A, a quick note: Um hello maggots, yes I am still grieving, cheers to the people who queued sad Good Omens posts for the exact time I finished watching. That is dedication, truly, to torturing your mascot. A most sincere fuck you to all of those kind folks.

Next, Neil, thank you for showcasing my madness. I barely remember making that updated post. It was 2 am and I tried to convince myself it was a bad idea. So of course I did it anyway and now I am staring in horror at how unhinged I have revealed myself to be. You picked the most perfectly awful time to delve into the fray. I raise my glass to you.

Alright. For everyone else who is utterly confused and/or has just entered this madness, below is the press conference you have instigated, my loves.

You: ASMI WAKE UP NEIL REBLOGGED YOU. Me: I'M AWAKE I PROMISE THANK YOU ALL THE TWENTY ODD PEOPLE WHO SHOUTED FOR ME TO WAKE UP, YES I WAS NAPPING. BUT I AM AWAKE. IT IS DIFFICULT NOT TO BE. You: HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING LESS THAN A MONTH IN THE FANDOM AND-- Me: I was kidnapped, so with the blindfold and all the ropes, I'll be honest, I lost track of time. It could have been less than a month. *stares into distance* It could have been eighty years since Jan 4th 2024. You: YOU'RE AN ADOPTIVE MAGGOT. Me: Now hang on one second y'all you're stealing my term. I coined maggots to describe all the people, in the Good Omens fandom or otherwise, who kidnapped me or followed me or watched me descend into madness. Why? Because I was made the Mascot of the fandom, and Maggot sounded like Mascot. Kind of. I didn't know at that time that there was a bloody maggot scene in Good Omens. I also didn't know that apparently in the Bible, Bildad the Shuite calls mortals 'maggots'. But either way. I'm the adopted mascot. And the adopted child of divorce. You: If people who follow you or watch your descent are maggots, does that make Neil a maggot? Me: Uh okay I've got this question several times. @neil-gaiman, Neil I'm sorry, I'm going to pass this question to you. You are free to reply or not as you choose. *hands one of the mics over* You: ARE YOU OKAY, ASMI? Me: THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN. *clutches Crowley even closer* NO I AM BLOODY NOT. I'M ON DAY FOUR OF GRIEVING AFTER THE SECOND SEASON. ANY MENTION OF POTTED PLANTS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. THE GOOD OMENS BOOK IS ARRIVING TODAY IN THE MAIL, THANKS JEFF BEZOS FOR AMAZON. OH WAIT AMAZON IS THE STREAMER FOR GOOD OMENS. THANKS BEZOS AGAIN. IF I HEAR THE WORDS RITZ, EDINBURGH, PLANT, RED, BLACK, DEMON, HELL, STARS, CONSTELLATIONS, ESPRESSO, I WILL START TO UGLY CRY. *SHOVES MICS ASIDE, RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD TO GO SOB IN A CORNER ABOUT CROWLEY IN EDINBURGH NEXT TO ELSPETH AND WEE MORAG UNTIL THE GOOD OMENS BOOK ARRIVES AND I CRY OVER MY BABY ANTICHRIST AS WELL*

Cheers everyone conference over because your poor Good Omens Mascot is currently incapacitated with grief goodbye I'm sure you understand--

[coolittleguy]

OMG THEY TOLD THE STORY OF JOB IN CHRUCH TODAY IM CRYING(they didn’t mention how cunty bildad the shuhite is)

[vidavalor]

I think you're the fifth blogger I've seen mention Shax's thing for Crowley... I still can't see it even though I really want to 'cause I think it's hilarious... send help... 🤣🥲😔

I can try lol. Chocolate cake? *slices*

More fun with Shax and Crowley under the cut. We're also going to look at part of Gabriel & Sandalphon's visit to the bookshop in S1 for some bonus fun since it fit in here as it's a parallel scene.

TW: Brief mention of Sandalphon and his homophobia.

For the most part, Shax isn't really in love with Crowley... she's just got a Mr. Brown-level pash on the Crowley that Crowley projects. While Aziraphale hides that he's an angel from the human world so Mr. Brown only believes him to be human, Crowley hides the extent to which he's human and living like one from the demons in Hell. As a result, the demon pursuing him has got exactly one thing correct about Crowley-- that he's hot lol-- but Shax's opinions as to why only partially overlap with ours and Aziraphale's because Shax believes Crowley's big reputation. She doesn't know what we know about him or see him the way we do. Like Mr. Brown with Aziraphale, she exists in part to highlight how insular Crowley & Aziraphale's world of their life together is and how much they have to playact in their respective worlds to keep that secret life they have with one another private and intact.

Shax is a demon who loves being a demon. That's what makes her crazy to us. Most of the other demons we've met are just miserable, even if they're playing along, but Shax is a real go-getter. She's ambitious and she lives to serve their master Satan. She wants to be good at being a demon and she's in love with *Crowley* lol. To us, this seems bananas because ain't no demon ever hated being a demon more than Anthony Jemimah Crowley... but it's proof positive of how decent a job Crowley has been doing at projecting an air of general demonicness for the last six thousand years.

Crowley has been a prince of Hell forever. He's gotten the top jobs-- the stuff of Shax's dreams, really-- and was a particular favorite of Satan, whom Shax worships. He was basically Hell's resident rock star, breezing in every few months to give a demonic presentation and shoot the shit in Lord Beezlebub's office for a half-hour before taking off for Earth again. If you were Shax, spending literally *thousands of years* in that overstuffed, dark, actual hell hole, Crowley showing up must have been like a visit from sexy Santa Claus. Shax is one of those Effort-making demons and most of the demons in Hell are more terrifying than attractive, ok?... even if you find terrifying attractive, like Shax sorta does or at least thinks she ought to.

Who's going to light your fire down there? Hastur? He'd *literally* light you on fire....

We've seen Shax have to deal with misogyny in the workplace (ugh Demon Josh) and you know she never got any of that shit from Crowley. She probably mostly got a "Shaaaaax! How's it hangin'?" from Disco Tony, who was thrilled to have remembered her name this time. Shax was playing it evil demon lady cool on the surface but girl just wants to be first string for the finest demon in Hell and she was swooning internally every time Crowley swooped in to grace Hell with his presence for a hot minute.

There has been suggestion in the series that several demons that we know of from Bible lore are, in Good Omens, all actually Crowley, which furthers this idea of Crowley and his big reputation a bit. The show has actually already done this with a Biblical figure, in that Bildad the Shuite is an actual Biblical character that the show just made be actually the demon Crowley under a different name, so it would make sense that the reason why we haven't seen other famous demons from The Bible in the series are because they're actually Crowley.

One is canon, basically, which is Astaroth/Astoreth, since Crowley was Nanny Astoreth in S1 and I doubt he stole the name from another demon who exists in the GO universe. When Crowley tells Aziraphale he changed his name when they are watching Jesus' crucifixion, Aziraphale first posits two other demons' names and neither of them exist in GO universe to date but both are, lore-wise, powerful: Mephistopheles and Asmodeus. A lot of other great meta has been written about these choices-- in particular, how well Mephistopheles fits Crowley to a tee, which I really, really agree with. You could assume then that the reasons why more audience-known demons like Astoreth and Asmodeus have never shown up in GO-- and we've met the highest-ranking demons already-- is because they actually *have* and they're all just really Crowley.

In demon lore, Astaroth is part of the "evil trinity" with Beezlebub and Lucifer and is a high-ranking demon in Hell... as well as is basically a genderbent serpent goddess with Crowley traits... so safe to say that's one of Crowley's aliases. Crowley has also had his name of "Crowley" for thousands of years by S1 but when he's rolling up in The Bentley in 1.01, Ligur and Hastur clarify what Crowley's "calling himself up here these days", indicating that he might have gone by more names than we might have realized.

Asmodeus, as we all probably know by now, is the demon of lust. A French novel from the 18th century also popularized the idea of Asmodeus as a sort of Cupid, which also goes along with Crowley, who loves love and got genuine joy out of trying to set up Maggie and Nina. So... from Shax's perspective, why *wouldn't* you want Crowley? He's the fine as fuck, Serpent of Eden, legendary prince of fucking lust here lol.

Shax showed up to reclaim his apartment for Hell and you know she expected a scene the likes of which have not been seen on Earth since a post-concert hotel suite occupied by Led Zeppelin lol. She was expecting (fantasizing lol) about having to wade through a rock music blasting, orgiastic drug den to find Asmodeus in his sex dungeon of a bedroom, somewhere in the black silk sheets beneath three playthings.

You know she actually found Crowley, alone, having just finished vacuuming the most fastidiously clean flat this side of Heaven, fully dressed and watching Barefoot Contessa on his massive plasma screen while the only drugs being mixed were special-blend fertilizer for his houseplants. Ina was making Jeffrey red-wine braised short ribs and Crowley didn't say so to Shax, of course, but he's always on the lookout for something his angel might like for dinner. Hang on a second, Shax, gotta save this recipe to my favorites...

At least the black silk sheets were accurate? lol

What probably confuses Shax a little is that she's been meeting up with Crowley and she still wants him and badly, even as it's becoming increasingly clear that he's a bit more complicated than she thought he was. Technically, she should consider him a traitor because of how he betrayed their Master but he's hot, ok, and maybe it's a little sexy to be so bad that you'd defy Satan? (Aziraphale agrees lol.)

Shax has Mr. Brown-level fantasies about where this could go. Crowley was a favorite of Satan's and she can bring him back into the fold. She can heal him. Yeah, this lady demon has gone and got herself one of those 'I can fix him' disaster scenarios. She hates this for her too but she can't help it. He's so sexy. She's been in Hell for a long time. She's sleeping in the bed and showering in the tropical rainforest paradise dream shower of Asmodeus himself, ok?

She's undoubtedly tried to get him to stay. She's so offered for him to live with her in secret and Crowley nearly choked on the air he doesn't need to breathe trying not to laugh at the irony of that one. It's not Shax's fault that he's just not that into her. She's a bad bitch and everything. That's just not his thing. He's just the lonely GI who basically fell asleep during a performance of The Ladies of Camelot. He has always given off the impression that he's into everything there is to sell the whole 'demon of lust' thing but he's really not. Shax doesn't know that, though, because to know that is to know Crowley well and Shax does not.

Does Crowley know that Shax is into him? Yeah, he does.

Shax's thing for him is basically the same thing as when Crowley tries to make a phone call after having taken out the mobile phone network for miles. It's the oh, shit, right, that thing I did that's now fucking up my day in the present... He didn't lead her on specifically as much as he just gave off the vibe in general that he's this debauched, wild, so very wicked demon and, well... if your name is Aziraphale, that's not terribly inaccurate lol... but if it's not, then it's actually not true at all...

...and this is why Shax cannot for the fucking life of her figure out what the deal is with Crowley and this angel.

Yes, Shax is trying to goad Aziraphale into confirming that he has Gabriel in this scene but this scene also comes off as Shax so incredibly done with how jealous she is over this, in her eyes, ridiculous being, and she's bitchy as all fuck about it. There were other ways to crack at Aziraphale than over his relationship with Crowley and she goes at that hard. She calls The Bentley an old piece of junk when she's really clearly calling Aziraphale that and saying that she doesn't know why Crowley hasn't gotten "an upgrade" since, implying that she considers herself just the upgrade Crowley needs. She brings up 1941 via the rumors that she heard "80, 90 years ago" that Crowley and Aziraphale were "an item", which we know are at least partially derived from what happened with Furfur, who his Shax's closest friend and totally has tried to tell her that this thing she has for Crowley is hopeless because he's doing that angel, Shax. (Poor, pining Furfur lol.)

Shax knows somewhere that Furfur is probably correct but she's decided to pretend that it's Furfur's thing for her that could have caused him to misconstrue at least part of it, right, because the demon of lust only having eyes for one being, let alone that being being this angel, is absurd to her (even if she thinks she can tame him lol.)

Aziraphale is an angel, for one thing. The bastards who did this to The Fallen and who cast their Master to Hell. Their sworn, hereditary enemy. It was one thing when maybe the angel was a dalliance. Asmodeus, lonely and bored on Earth, tired of all the sex with the mortals, and so very bad that he could corrupt an angel. That's a little hot, actually, if you're Shax, but it's the fact that that... does not appear to be what this relationship is... that unsettles her.

During S2, Shax learns that Crowley has a permanent invite into and keys to the bookshop and that Aziraphale can drive Crowley's car to an extent that Shax even has to trick him to allow her to enter it. The angel really seems like he might be Crowley's partner, which would mean that this wasn't Crowley fucking an angel on a whim in 1941 but that Hell's wild prince of lust has actually secretly been in a romantic relationship with Aziraphale for at least, to Shax's knowledge, almost a century.

The purported baddest demon that ever demoned, shy of the literal devil, is apparently mad for this fusty angel and Shax just cannot get it, ok?

Crowley is a a broody, black-clad rock star and Aziraphale is this twee little bookselling angel to her. Shax thinks maybe this was all part of Crowley's breakdown or something and she's Mr. Brown so she hasn't given up hope here, not for most of S2, but she's mostly been trying to figure out how to get Crowley's attention and that's the funniest part of her whole pash, imo.

Shax has no idea what Crowley is into. She can't figure this out to save her life.

She has no idea that it's over before it started because she is just not what primes the engine of Crowley's star factory over here. It's not personal. He just doesn't have a shred of sexual interest in her. Gabriel is getting more action from Crowley this season and he tried to murder him lol. Crowley's spent millennia cultivating a persona of a sex god and now he's got to live with it and he's just praying he never finds out anything she's fantasizing about him because he shudders at the thought of whatever she envisions them getting up to.

Look at what Shax is wearing when she comes to Earth to meet with Crowley, for one of the more hilarious things...

In Hell, Shax wears modern clothes. When she comes to Earth to meet Crowley in the year 2023, she wears a vintage-inspired outfit that is spanning the mid-1930s through WW2 in style (the era she knows he was involved with Aziraphale, who is her main point of reference for what attracts Asmodeus over here lol)... and the dress has the biggest damn bow ever seen. You could see that bow from space. It's like she's trying desperately to figure out what turns Crowley on and so far she's come up with well, he drives an old car and he's rolled that angel so he likes... old things... vintage clothes, like the angel's. She's trying to out-bow-tie Aziraphale.

Now that Shax can spend time with Crowley alone and the possibility of seducing him is ever-present (lolololol), she's spending time trying to figure out what turns on the prince of lust. She's trying to get Crowley's demonically lustful attention and she's reduced to bow ties, okay, take pity on her... she's just like I don't know what his deal with these are, exactly, as it seems kind of specific... but he can unwrap me anytime if that's his thing...

Then, there's that she's sitting too close to him on the park bench and raking her eyes over him while he's sprawling on it. He's not sprawling in a way meant to be enticing. He's actually mid-existential crisis here but that's fine by Shax. She likes 'em a little dark.

My favorite, though, is a scene that actually parallels S1 in a hilarious way and that's from the hot water boiler scene in the other meta that prompted the ask here but isn't a bit that I mentioned in that one.

As Crowley goes back into the bookshop (and he'd never been happier to be on the other side of that threshold in his life lol), Shax is then as physically close to him as she's ever been. If you notice, she actually inhales twice. The first is a regular breath-- which demons don't technically need to take but yeah lol-- and her expression is all oh Satan, he smells amazing and then she straight up sniffs the air as he opens the door. Girl is huffing her fill over here for those shower fantasies for months to come lol. Crowley knows it as his eyebrows are in his hair as he's turning back around like he's all did she seriously just *sniff* me? ugh...

Shax knows Crowley saw her (honestly, probably also *heard* her... Shax, love, a little subtlety wouldn't kill you...) so she covers it up by pretending like she smelled Gabriel in the bookshop. You smelled the archangel in there, huh, Shax? When you can't get through the door? When Gabriel is the same species as Aziraphale, whose bookshop this is, so this can't be some kind of angel-scent you're claiming you noticed here? lol This then parallels and adds to this Sandalphon scene in S1:

I know there's some debate about if there's such thing as an angelic or a demonic smell but I've actually always taken it to be that there isn't. It would seem to me that it would be hard for them to blend in on Earth if there was and if the demonic one was something off-putting to humans, at least. I think most of us, though, do believe that the "evil" Sandalphon is smelling in the backroom is Crowley but considering that the comment comes from Sandalphon, who is introduced to us with reference to his smiting of people in Sodom and Gomorrah, it honestly just comes off that Sandalphon is a raging homophobe and I've actually always taken that as the reason why Gabriel is here in this scene in the first place.

Absolutely nothing happens in this scene. It's a routine checkup. What is the Supreme Archangel of Heaven doing there? Why is he blowing so much smoke up Sandalphon's ass the whole time? It's kind of like he saw that Michael or someone had assigned Sandalphon to do a checkup of sorts on Aziraphale-- or Sandalphon had assigned himself-- and Gabriel pretended that he wanted to see in person how "the great Sandalphon" worked so that he could tag along and make sure that Sandalphon didn't bother Aziraphale. We also learn that Aziraphale hasn't seen Sandalphon in a long time and I'd bet that Gabriel is responsible for that. Gabriel's 'whatever, idgaf' response to Aziraphale's Jeffrey Archer books comment is so... Gabriel hadn't the first clue who Jeffrey Archer is or why his books would be evil lol. He could have easily further encouraged Sandalphon's pursuit of the "evil" scent. He didn't because he could care less what Aziraphale does in the backroom of his bookshop. If anything, he's jealous of him for having found a way to have some freedom and privacy. Gabriel is queer-- he is like Aziraphale. He's just closeted in S1. He's looking out for Aziraphale here by using his power to shut down Sandalphon and then "you can't have a war without war omg wow you are a poet!" him out of there as fast as is possible. If there truly was an 'evil'/'demonic' smell, Gabriel should have been able to smell it, too, and he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have been able to subtly shut down Sandalphon the way he did.

So, Sandalphon isn't smelling a demon. He's smelling another man. The "evil" is that Sandalphon can smell remnants of another cologne that isn't Aziraphale's in the backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop and Sandalphon is a homophobe, so he's implying that Aziraphale having sex and with a man is 'evil', even if there's no direct evidence here of that, just the implication of it.

This then would mean that Shax can't actually smell Gabriel in the bookshop in S2. Like Sandalphon, she's pretending to have a supernatural sense of scent but she's really just smelling Crowley. While Sandalphon was repulsed by the idea of Aziraphale's bookshop backroom having the scent of a man, Shax is just inhaling that same being's scent because omfg. so. good....

...something she can't stand that she has in common with that bastard angel, Aziraphale, who is actually allowed to breathe Crowley in anytime he wants... it's just ridiculous to her. Why the fuck does that beige bookseller get to have the sex god of Shax's dreams in his bed and she doesn't? What could Crowley possibly find attractive about him? That she doesn't know and can't really figure it out shows how little she really knows Crowley and also how little imagination she really has.