#biiiiiiig difference

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

july 17, 2021 11:00 p.m. cathal and eimear's house

[yesmissnyx]

Not gonna lie...it's hard to even pretend to be into small penis humiliation when like...

Sorry but I am an absolute slut for tdick lmao 😌🙏💞

[unluckiest-rabbit]

me, talking to my partner: so... you know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head even if you only heard it maybe a handful of times and it was yeeeeears ago?

my partner: no? absolutely not. what are you even talking about? the only songs that get stuck in my head are either ones i really like or ones i've heard recently.

me: .....hmm. so anyway. i have two trucks by lemon demon stuck in my head for some reason....

[markrothkono61]

Why in the world is a mini choir practice taking place in my neighbour’s room? I don’t mind it when my neighbour (pay attention to the singular), sometimes practices. However, as I am writing this there are at least six people belting songs in booming baritone voices. I really like our choir, they are all marvelously talented don’t get me wrong. But I am also trying to write an essay and apply to be in the crew of a theatrical production, and I simply cannot do that if the walls are shaking with ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’.

[diamondbreakingboi]

Loving your BreakBee fic! It's such a good story, I adore how you've written the characters so far. The terrans teasing Bee about being attracted to Breakdown is so good. Having Optimus in Bee's audial about Breakdown is sad though... but it's an excellent plot device, it makes sense that Poptimus prime isn't vibing with Bee going after such a bad boy... I can't blame him given that Bd kinda gives fuckboy who can't commit energy. And without getting nsft, the little bit where Bee is teasing and tells Breakdown "nope" while shaking his head is sooo good. It's just such a cute visual despite the not so innocent nature of the situation. I've been reading the fic on repeat, it's such so sweet and sad. I'm very excited for any future updates!! 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you so much!!!!! ❤❤❤

I’m ecstatic you’re loving the story so far!! It truly means a lot! I adore writing them!!

Oh yes, poor Bee being influenced by Popitmus Prime in what he’s doing with his life…that certainly might veryyyy well be a theme ;) You spotted a wild plot device! I was afraid no one would notice that little thread throughout! And YES Popitmus HATESSSS Breakdown, both for good reason and for his own selfish justifications. ((I will henceforth refer to Optimus Prime as Poptimus Prime from now on because that is toooo good))

“Bad Boy” certainly does encapsulate what Breakdown presents himself as XD And YES he’s giving biiiiiiig ‘f boy who can’t commit’ energy!! He does act that way on purpose, but I don’t want to give anything away as to why…just know there is more to Breakdown than we can see!

I’ve said this so many times before, but for it being my first time writing smut, I’m quite surprised by the love it’s been getting, truly! I was just messing around and letting their dynamics play out, and wooooooah boy it was quite fun!! Hopefully I can be motivated to write some more in the future, however it all depends on what the story and characters want! :) Bee and Breakdown teasing each other in equal yet different manners is my Roman Empire…I can’t stop thinking about them. I love putting in little moments that are endearing and cute especially when the situation wouldn’t necessarily call for it :D 

Thank you again for telling what you like about the story! I wanna cry happy tears when I get comments like this. I'm so honored that people are enjoying it so much!!! It means the world to me. And you’ve read it multiple times?? I’m doubly honored!! I hope you end up liking how the story goes! I love sharing it!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

marcus, lord westcliff, are those your luscious locks and giant hands i see before me in gorgeous painted detail??? god i need to get my hands on a copy. please, ma'am, won't you share some golden marcus lines from the novel?

I have good news and bad news:

The bad news is, that stepback was not from It Happened One Autumn (but it is a Kleypas stepback, for sure, and it is tooootally in line with the Wallflowers stepbacks). The good news is, I own not one but two unedited/stepback copies of Autumn, because nobody is going to catch me slipping once people start realizing en masse that there's a difference between the edited and unedited copies and start buying up the latter lol.

So here's the Westcliff/Lillian stepback!

It's really quite beautiful. The detail on her dress is exquisite, and the foot pop--please.

And I also do have some quotes, though I will say that some of my favorite Westcliff quotes are when he's being a bit... of a mess lol

When he highkey negs Lillian in the butterfly garden about how she actually can't kiss, which is a shame, and maybe she needs lessons and I wonder whoooo could teach her???

Then one of my favorite parts of the book, where he's a total asshole and stops fingering Lillian (still in the butterfly garden) to be like "well DAMN Lillian, if I can get that far with you, imagine what would happen with someone who has ACTUAL GAME like St. Vincent???" Ridiculous self-own

When he almost comes in his pants while Lillian starts babbling drunken entendres about how something soooo biiiiiiig could fit into something soooooooo smaaaaaaaallllllllll

his voice cracking kills me, truly the man was suuuuufferiiiiing

When he had one of the best classic "I COULD HAVE PLANTED A BABY IN YOUR FERTILE WOMB TWENTY MINUTES AGO" moments

Like it's some of the stupidest shit I've ever read and it's SO. FUNNY. YOU COULD BE BREEDING LILLIAN. I SMELLED YOU OVULATING. SHUT UP. MARRY ME.

In my head he has his hands on his hips

And then I have the actual legit romantic speech he does, which is one of the only big romantic things he says in the book, which is why it goes on for a huge paragraph that bleeds onto the next page

"do it for the sake of everyone who would have to tolerate me otherwise" PERSUASIVE, SIR

also pretty sure this led to the scene where he and Lillian end up grinding on the floor until Simon Hunt walks in and is like "bro I thought you said you only needed to fuck once a week

[silencedrowns]

I hate color matching purples which is why I decided my next costume should be Purples Georg

several hours of trying to match all this shit (and yes this is the ONLY reference) has left me questioning what purple even means

I’m going more off the first three (I want the biiiiiiig skirt) but there are still like five different shades of purple grey charcoal whatever the fuck

this post is entirely for the cosplayers to commiserate with me about “oh good lord. that’s so many shades of purple. what are you doing, you absolute buffoon”

[lwieserce]

ok whatever since i started posting them... this is a BIIIIIIIG fave gahhhhhhhhh. loveeeeeee these type of skirts so much but apparently this is just 1 of manymany versions of just one chara. vastly different versions at that.

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 3 Round 1 Poll 12

Mojo vs Cat submitter found on petfinder last november

MOJO

Mojo was a very sweet, funny, and gentle gentleman cat with a funky little red plaid bow tie. He defeated the dot on multiple occasions, braved and made friends with the wheelchair carrousel of his dad, and learned at least six different commands like sit, touch, high five, come here, and nom nom nom nom yam yam (food is ready). He was dad's ptsd emotional support animal and just an allround stand up little dude. He started his life on the streets and was eventually rescued by his dad where he lived his golden years until the 26th of March when he passed away suddenly.

CAT SUBMITTER FOUND ON PETFINDER NOVEMBER 2022

a little baby kitty, small and black-furred, with biiiiiiig eyes and black wheeskers. biiiiig eyes.

[drabbles-mc]

14, 17, 18 and one free space!

Ahh thank you for these! 😊

14.) Favorite location and position to write in?: I'm pretty much always writing in my bedroom at home! I sit cross-legged against my headboard with my lapdesk and laptop and get to work.

17.) Do you have a writing routine?: I'm definitely a big nighttime writer. On my days off I will write during the day too, but there's just something different about getting home after my jobs, putting on comfy clothes, turning on the TV to put on whatever show I'm writing for, and just immersing myself. If I'm writing outside I'll listen to music instead but a big part of my writing routine is having canon playing in the background.

18.) Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?: I don't dislike research, but I don't love it either. I'm a BIIIIIIIG rewatcher of shows/movies so I research things from that perspective. I love studying canon and watching for little character traits to help keep my writing from getting too ooc. In terms of outside research, though, I have a Mayans AU fic in my wip folder that I've looked into a lot of different college-based stuff that I've never needed to know before lol. Plus, my fic for the Candy Hearts Exchange is going to force me to go back and really study some canon things for the fandom I'm writing for 👀

Free space is if you have any other questions for me that weren't on the list! If you want to send one in you can, but you don’t have to. Either way, these were fun! Thank you! 🥰

Fanfiction Writing Asks!

[slow-button-off]

I know we don't know the official salary of drivers and teams probably pay their bonuses etc different, but from what we know charles is so worth it for the money. If Ferrari is paying what it's rumored they are paying him, they're getting such a good deal

Nicolas better got Charles a pole bonus!

I'm sure Charles gets decent boni (is that the correct plural?) I mean he got them to give him the SF90!

But yeah his base salary is not particularly huge compared to his peers.

But he signed that contract at the end of 2019. And it made sense for him to sign a long but low-ish contract.

I'm sure he's gonna get a biiiiiiig extension soon. Latest at the end of next season because I'm sure they don't want to be negotiating with both their drivers at the same time.

But yeah rn he is pretty much a bargain for Ferrari!

[mischiefmodig]

Old Prompt \ / @magnusmodig \ / not accepting

🍍 - What is an event that seemed of minor consequence to them when it occurred, but ended up impacting their life/development in a bigger way? 🍈 - How do they calm down when they are upset? Would they act differently trying to calm down in a group setting versus all alone? 🍑 - Describe a bad day they recently experienced (not necessarily dramatic/tragic) and how they handled it. Did they break down? Did they withdraw? 🍇 - Who has the greatest influence over their life? Who can easily change their mind or push them to do something they don’t want to? Negatively or positvely.

... yeah there may have been one event that spiraled everything out of control. You ever just think that it would be just a fantastic idea to take your big brother's ego just a couple notches down? He's been talking about his coronation nonSTOP now for what feels like an eternity.

Of course, Loki was proud of him... but not when Thor just assumed him to be. It was just an honorary procedure, really. ( and nothing stung worse than hearing Thor say it was to be his crown and his throne... as if those promises meant nothing.

It was a funny idea, well, funny wouldn't be the right word. But it seemed like the perfect plan in the moment. What if frost giants did manage to break into the vault? They wouldn't get far, anyone with common sense knew that. Just two giants, really. Easy to take down, and no one would miss them. They were easy to persuade, and Thor would never be allowed to enact any kind of plan to counter. With any luck the ceremony would be postponed, and maybe Father would see why Thor isn't ready to become king.

It was forbidden to go to Jotunheim. Technically, Loki did not step foot there... much.

Answering this one in a different ask since it was asked twice <3

A recent example may be hard to come by, but speaking generally he absolutely does withdraw from people when he's had a bad day. For him, there's a few big components at play that gauge his reactions to things. Most of the time it comes from having some kind of argument with Thor, or Odin, or feeling like he's being put down by other people, or otherwise not furthering his own strengths like he wants to.

I think Loki is a biiiiiiig processor kind of person. He's highkey very emotional, so oftentimes he just needs to go somewhere quiet so he can let the emotions fizzle out and then think about what those emotions are.

Granted, he is not good at doing this (self-analyzing) and this is a very bad habit for him. Mostly because he tends to be extremely pragmatic/realistic and then also pessimistic. So when he thinks too hard by himself, he will always come to the worst outcome possible and then let it sit and rot in silence till it gets worse.

I also think though, there's a big part of him that wants to be seen/found, so when he does withdraw, he's okay with people coming back to him (he only seeks people out when it's clear he's in the wrong.) That being said, Loki is super particular with who he is vulnerable to (if your name is not Thor.... sorry) so generally he withdraws out of a desire to not look weak/helpless to anyone. If he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him until he is.

It takes a lot for Loki to break down too. Again, this is pretty much only reserved for Thor, but Loki is decent enough about controlling his emotions around others enough to just leave a conversation before he breaks down. He's emotionally sensitive, but he does have public decency.

Consistently it's always Thor and Frigga. Frigga first though, has been such a massive guide in Loki's life. I have hc's about the fact that Frigga was always kind of hovering over him because being a frost giant in Asgard is not going to be super fantastic just because of the temp differences.

But Loki and Frigga have a lot in common in temperament, interests, habits, etc. etc. Of course Loki would've picked up a lot from her, but if there are people he will listen to/actually submit to, Frigga is definitely one of them.

Of course, the biggest influence BY FAR, is for sure Thor. There has never been a moment in Loki's life where he didn't have Thor there. i have SO many hc's about how Loki would follow Thor everywhere he went when they were kiddos. They did everything together, and Thor just made the whole world seem less scary!!

Thor is Loki's light, just straight up. He has always looked up to him and wanted to be just like him. When he was older, that heroism was still there, but joined with a sense of wanting to stay beside him and rule with him. It was always them against the world and Loki always fought to keep that.

Even with their bond broken right now, Thor definitely still holds a lot of weight over Loki's emotions and the decisions that he makes. Of course, it's a lot of complicated stuff, but in many ways, he still wants what they had in their childhood ( though not in others. )

[ghoulfr13nd]

hiii! omg i love this, from now music anon 🎶 is my signature!!! :D you know, i'm not surprised Autoheart's a introvert magnet! the energy during this concert must've been interesting! fgasjk speaking of! how many concerts were you to? 👀 and hmm for now maybe i'd hold myself from sending my playlists, talking to you actually inspired me to make a specific one and now I'm a roll! fgsdj and my method is like- i hoard all my favorite music in a one biiiiiiig playlist (called "F" because "F"avorite but also there's so much songs that at the end I would have to press F to pay respects to anyone who'd listen to it all 🫡) and when i crave a certain segment of said playlist separetly and i don't feel like scrolling through it i pick a letter that gives me… the vibes i look for and then I put songs there, i guess! so far i wasn't able to fill all letters so i don't worry about running out any time soon, i certainly don't compare to your number of playlists! 121 is like woah! :O i don't listen to much rap as well, also jazz isn't usually what i go for, but I won't say no to them! but since i basically grew up on like- metal, rock (especially punk rock) those are the sounds i gravitate to a lot! (though I have a whole long playlist with mainly Hard Metal so I know what not to send you for sure when/if i get courage, that's a whole different vibe! fgdjsakf) BUT WAIT! you have oc playlists!? omg could you give links to them so I'm sure I won't miss any of them pretty pleease?! i'd like to listen to them and try to guess their personality based solely on their playlists, if that'd be ok??? 🥺

all that talk about autoheart being introverted and now i’ve forgotten how to talk to people ;u; its fine hfskjddk (i’m at a concert right now!)

I’ve been to uhh… several. I don’t think I’ve ever counted them out. The first concert I ever went to was for Hippocampus. The one I’m at now is Crane Wives. I’ve seen Matt and Kim twice (three time?? maybe?? I dont rememer) and I’ve seen Rainbow Kitten Surprise twice. I went to go see Barnes Courtney, and I’ve also seen Kero Kero Bonito. And Metric ofc. I also sawwww. I thin LANY? with one of my friends who was a big fan. I saw Cavetown (with Chloe Moriondo as the opener). I think that’s everything! I do have two more concerts coming up, but I’ll talk about those another time.

I’m a little bit of a playlist hoarder!! I’m impressed with your playlist frugality. I LOVE THAT F IS (F)AVORITES THATS VERY FUNNY TO ME

I like metal, but I also have crazy anxiety and sometimes it stresses me out and I get a little overstimulated :0 I’ve been wanting to get more into it though! Does, uh, Worthikids count as metal? I listen to him a lot fjskdjjd.

BUT YEAH YOU CAN TOTALLY HAVE MY OC PLAYLISTS THAT SOUNDS SO FUN?! ok ok ok uhhhh

Ves

Mac

Linsey

Mac and Ves are the main ones. Linsey is important to me but I haven’t figured out exactly how I want her incorporated into their story.

Important context: Mac and Linsey are both more or less in their 20s, and Linsey is probably like 10-12.

Anyway I hope you’re having a good night!!!

[nelfs]

our new bit is about a guy dressed to the nines in all blue going to ihop and saying “I’ll have a biiiiiiig stack of blueberry pancakes!”. we were dying. doing different versions where he gets violent when they run out of blueberries or the waitress seduces him. absolutely losing our shit at this scenario

[rantaccla]

Pride Confessions pt. 2

Hello, Iyashi! 

I'm sorry to hear that due to your prior experiences, you have had difficulty identifying what love looks and feels like. It makes sense that these events would have had an impact on how you view and comprehend love. Healing and finding happiness for yourself are important goals, and it's definitely possible to achieve them.

It's vital to take some time to think on your past experiences and evaluate how they impacted your present sense of love in order to discover the patterns that have led to the anguish and confusion that you felt. This will help you work toward yourself and achieve a healthy understanding of love. In order to overcome the destructive patterns taken and experience personal progress, self-awareness is essential. Of course, you can also enlist the help of the people in your life who you can trust to ensure that you don't go through the healing process alone. You may also look for advice through LGBTQ+ support groups to ensure that you don't feel alone in your queer experience and to receive additional viewpoints from trusted sources. 

Through these you can redefine the way that love means to you, explore different ways that you want to be loved, especially since love is not boxed only into romantic love, you can use this time to strengthen friendships and family connections and consider which values practiced in these relationships can be applied into your romantic love when you're ready for it. In order to create a relationship in which you feel comfortable expressing your actual emotions and expressing your needs, it is also crucial to establish healthy limits. Healthy relationships are founded on these boundaries.

And lastly, the most important thing is to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, engage in activities that make you happy which can enrich your emotional health. Treat yourself with kindness and people will do the same, this can help you heal the fullest. Remember that healing is a journey and cannot be achieved immediately, so enjoy the process and learn through these experiences for yourself. 

-c

Hi Miki Ninaj!

This is Elle. Thank you for writing this! First things first, I want to give you a biiiiiiig hug with consent! Please know na your feelings, your confessions, are valid! It takes courage to open this up even in an anonymous confessional blog and I am so proud of you for being able to speak your truth. 

I acknowledge your feelings, and am genuinely sad that you are feeling this way. I can't imagine the experiences you went through to start believing na nothing good will happen to you. I wonder what or who made you feel na you were never genuinely loved despite giving your all. I'm sorry that these people hurt you. You did not deserve the doubts, the loneliness, and the hurt that you are currently feeling. 

I believe that the fact that you have acknowledged and accepted these feelings is a huge step for personal growth! If you haven't moved on with these thoughts and feelings, it's best to take your time with them and not force anything, settle with your feelings first, feel them and let them flow. I hope you will cope healthily.

If you choose not to open up to others and to not find a romantic partner, please know that it is perfectly fine. I am proud of you for the steps that you are taking ,and I sincerely understand na this stemmed from your experiences, and that you are just trying to protect yourself from the pain na you experienced before. If this is what will make you at peace and with joy, then I support you with all my heart. Someday if circumstances change, I hope you know that it is okay that we change as well, because change is inevitable, and we can only hope that we can change for the better.

Take your time to heal, to find yourself, and to remind yourself that there is a person who should be the first to make you feel genuinely loved–yourself. And I believe that you are on the right track as you are now learning to set boundaries for your well-being.

I am genuinely hoping for your happiness, and for you to be able to explore everything about yourself. I am wishing you the best.

-Elle

Hello, Trans Nina! 

The time you accepted yourself as a transwoman is notable at its shallowest, so I want to tell you that: I see you. Closeted or not, with wigs or with crowns, with stained lips or none of the above — what is your standard of being a woman? How did you come to terms with being a transwoman yourself? Because the impression of transwomen on screens cannot be compared to the story of how you have accepted yourself as one. And we, women, are not dressed to please the male gaze or to fit into the curves of a woman’s jeans just because the heteronormative society dictated that this is “the” beauty standards. Although maybe you want that kind of life for you as a woman and to further embrace you, the life of wigs and pageants, and generally, it’s okay. Being a transwoman does not end to an acceptance of your womanhood, rather it starts from there. Women, we dream big for big thrills. We crave for liberation of our femininity and womanhood. Different things empower us and it’s not my place nor anyone’s place to tell you which one can you be empowered.

"Transness" is a label of which you feel safe to be you, and whenever you feel that you aren't, society is to be blamed. All these beauty and gender conformity are what give us our limit. Initially, I see you have embraced yourself, what's now stopping you from taking up more space? Maybe give yourself a pat for you have questioned yourself enough, maybe it's time to gain high courage to be indulged in the struggle of our trans friends who can share their stories with you, struggle together, and work together for a system that is liberating for all transpeople and all sexes. 

The bottomline is, the future is bright, my love. Everything’s okay. You’re okay. You might not be where you wanted to be with yourself right at this moment, but you’ll get there. Continue embracing the natural you and soon, I am sincerely anticipating of that day, I hope to see you in your most beautiful form — the happy, affirmed you among the trans struggle to genuine liberation of all. For now, it is important for you to know that I see you enough. 

-v

Hi ows!

It's really hard to live in this society where expectations are set upon us. Funny how from the day our mothers had their first ultrasound, our parents already have prospects aligned from the result of our sex. As we grow older, everyone presumes the need of a living partner, as if the completion of life depends on it.

Aromantic as it sounds, no one should define the path you will take. There is this challenge among us to contradict what society expects us to be. Basically aromanticism exists among every gender identity and sexual orientation, with little to no romantic desire in relationships. In further context, for many centuries of colonization, it ingrained in our culture an outdated view on sex, gender and relationships, which makes aromanticism foreign or reluctant.

There are these hot takes in social media. I have read that the youth today wanted to return the favor of following the romantic practices of our predecessors. Some may say they wanted to be that kind of Maria Clara being swoon while suitors sing below the veranda. Some men still follow the strict rule of "pamamanhikan", while women in their families are expected to marry. Even some love the Amorsolofication of things - by means, the beauty of the dates of couples in wide fields, on the classic walls of Intramuros, or the fancy diners or movie theaters.

And all this gratification of the Filipino "panliligaw", comes the pressure to follow the bloodline and bear an offspring.

But you, it is romantic the thought of how we challenge society of these aging standards. How you, yourself, are aware of the pressure dictated upon us. How you question yourself -- your state of liking someone whilst affirming yourself of being aromantic. It is daring how we question the fluidity of gender outside the defined labels. That makes it romantic to study our identities and how it is integral in the cultural development of our society, since history.

That is what makes you innately unique, driven to take space in this society and claim that what you feel is natural. We, the challenged, have this spirit to question society at all means. And by that, we question what happens to the relationships surrounding you, following the obsolete views. 

Most of these relationships center their life on payment. The payment to start a date as if romance is defined by the extent of a higher price. The payment to sustain a family as if responsibility to take care of kids is from our ego earning a high-paying job. The payment to outlive a relationship by all the glory of the material things as means of success, instead of the very reason why we love -- freedom.

But just because these relationships depend on numbering values, does not mean they do not fight for freedom. Just like you, we love so we become free. Aromantics are capable of love -- loving themselves freely, loving someone freely to what extent even if we contradict; to freely redefine aromanticism as it is ingrained by the majority. 

Even many of us see love as a democratic right - that love is political and economic. We wanted to dream about a love that does not serve the political agendas of high businesses and multinational companies. We wanted to dream about a love that recognizes the grassroot struggle, of how highly different our farmers, fisherfolk, workers, and the minorities practice romance and view gender than how capitalists float love at the expense of bourgeois decadence. That is why many couples see love as a spark for revolution, to topple class oppression through arms so we can build a society where we can make these dreams come true to the most where we can love democratically.

Like all of us, we wanted to be free from the capitalist and outdated views of society. A love that sets us free and serves not only to the relationship but a better society.

And by loving, it is natural and endless that we are free to contradict society, even ourselves too. 

By that, I assure you, that what you are feeling right now is natural. You are a human being with emotions. You are a rational being beginning to question labels and redefine things. Everyone of us is in that position too. We must not be scared of growth and consciousness on things that are better enough enlightened, rather than being lost in space. 

Life is not rigid as the counting of days whether our feelings will last or comparative to the latter years of our existence. We grow differently in nature, which makes living our best life in these differences the most romantic of all.

So if you ever reveal your feelings to that person too, be comfortable and at your best position. Do not worry about the rigidness of labels or the whispers of other people. The worriness on your emotions and preferences what makes them real. You are human, so you are capable to be loving or affectionate in your own way.

You may not comprehend the actions you make, such as romantic gestures or practices associated with other romantic relationships, but that does not make you alienated from other aromantic persons out there. There is a wider community ready to accept you and collectively committed to redefining and challenging our gender spectrum.

And if along the way there are many more realizations, that is natural too. Most importantly, the community in this struggle is ready to embrace you. All the more we are optimistic in this struggle to reclaim our spaces and rectify what is needed. 

Continue being what you are and your eagerness to learn more in the spectrum of gender. All the more we translate it into being proud of who we are, enlighten our peers about aromanticism, and fulfill the demands of the roaring masses by advancing the demands and being with their struggle. 

I am proud of you for doing so.

-Brell Lacerna

[tiredeyes1975]

biiiiiiig fucking difference between getting drunk alone in your room and vaping nic in the school bathroom with your friends do not try to lump these together