#biggest fear is that they'll find something else to make me come back for
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actualmichelle · 8 months ago
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the-lark-ascending69 · 8 months ago
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How would Nancy and Steve protect Robin from homophobic attacks?
I love this question. I love the idea of Steve and Nancy being kind of her... "protectors" in a way? The way she cried out their names and they both rushed to help her when the vines caught her... something in my cold heart melted. She's their lil soft bby lesbian, they must protecc (particularly love this in omegaverse AUs in which they're both alphas and Robin is an omega... ik it's not everyone's cup of tea but I adore it). I love the idea of Robin having two soulmates who recognize the danger she's in and how everyone will come after them if They Know so they promise to themselves (!! or each other!!) that they'll keep her safe.
Specifically, I'm thinking of a scenario in which Nancy and Steve kinda don't like each other. Maybe there are still hard feelings after their breakup, and they kinda give each other the side-eye, feeling uncomfortable when they need to share a space or when they're alone in a room without everyone else there making plans and stuff.
But every now and then, they find Robin being cornered at school, her head low, trying to make herself invisible and small as boys taller than her make horrible comments about frigid little dyke needing to see what she's missing, and Steve and Nancy don't even think. They walk up to where she is and push the boys away, eyes dark and voice severe, warning them to never come near her again if they know what's good for them. Boys often reply with something along the lines of "careful, Harrington, seems like your dyke girlfriend's got a hard on for Wheeler here", but they leave nevertheless. Robin remains silent, hugging herself, and mumbles a quiet "can you take me home?" or "can I stay over tonight?" She doesn't like being alone when these things happen, and she's reached a level of trust with Steve and Nancy in which she's comfortable seeking comfort from them, so she'll end up having dinner with both of them (because neither of them want to leave her, even if it means enduring each other's company). Steve will cook something while Nancy sets the table, hesitantly rubs her back and asks if she's okay, and then they'll watch a movie - Robin nestled between the two of them, playing with Steve's fingers or with the sleeves of Nancy's cardigan - touch and hand-holding has always been one of her love languages, especially when it comes to fear and comfort. Whether she falls asleep on Steve or Nancy's shoulder depends on the night, but regardless of it, Steve will carry her to bed and Nancy will tuck her in. They have this little routine, in that way. Nancy will lovingly observe her, kneeling before her bed, and very softly she'll tuck a strand of hair behind her ear while she sleeps. And Steve will stand nearby, arms crossed, watching both of them, a question in his expression, and heartbreak in Nancy's. They share a look - they can't let her face this alone. They can't let her get hurt. The entire world will be after her, and she needs them. Both of them. Because predatory jokes and insinuations are not her biggest problem - Jason Carver had given her a black eye a few months back because he saw her having a chat with his girlfriend (he attacked her in the way you'd attack a man, not a woman), and Billy Hargrove had made his intentions clear with her when she made the mistake of going with Steve to a party, and he saw her, and licked his lips, and he'd grabbed her by the back of her neck and told her he could help her with her problem. Robin's dark, self-deprecating jokes nowadays always hinted at something somber in her future - "okay, but don't cry when they find me dead in a ditch" or "Steve and I share the whole 'possibly becoming moms agaist our will' curse", and it always makes Steve and Nancy uncomfortable.
They might not get along nowadays, but they both adore Robin with their entire hearts. If it meant Nancy had to start keeping a gun in her glovebox, or that Steve had to make sure to never take his eyes off her at social gatherings, they'd do it. If it meant spending time together just to be with her, so she'll always remember she's not alone, they'll do it. Anything for her.
Safe to say that they always drive her to and from school and work, especially at night. Nancy has started cycling again just so she can be with Robin when she misses her bike. She always sits with her during lunch, and glares at anyone who dares to look at her. Rumors spread, of course, but people are much more afraid of Nancy than they are of Robin, and they rarely dare to do much more than whisper. Steve makes sure people see her with him whenever possible, as a reminder that she has people looking out for her and others should think twice before messing with her. Robin almost feels like a child, and she hates that she needs her friends to do this for her, but she's also so deeply thankful to have them. Truly, she loves them. She loves them both so much. She doesn't know how she's even going to make it up to them.
For now, she enjoys curling up in the Wheeler's basement couch with a blanket around her shoulders, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, watching Steve and Nancy fight over which movie to watch. It's familiar. It's warm and safe and so full of love.
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blackfairy312 · 7 months ago
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What would their Mincraft houses look like? And what is their biggest fear? (Fnac3)
🔥answering more of theeeese heheeh
i actually had a minecraft house for Komi once but it's lost o an old computer that doesnt work anymore 😭 it was shaped after a Black Box from Evillious (her "heart") and had a few bedrooms upstairs for herself and her kids and a HUUUGE kitchen and a fancy bathroom and a greenhours and a nise backyard an then like, a secret evil basement . i wish i had pictures of it.
dawg if these assholes played Minecraft together it would probablt be a server Komi made and she only gave Antonio moderator permissions bc she doesnt trust the other two with that . Antonio woukd make a statue of Vinnie and set it on fire to piss Vincent off. Komi spends most of the time building and decorating things and organizing bc she likes being productive (or else she'll start doing crazy shit). like these assholes she works with would probably be too busy fucking around in the game to focus on what theyre doing so Komi would make one house for them all to live in and make rooms for them all . every time the guys come back to base they'll see Komi in the middle of putting a redstone contraption together and they'll drop styff off in chests and explore the base little bc there's new stuff Komi added and then they'll leave to fuck around again . AND SOMEHOW Komi will have full neatherite armor and shit . everyone like "DUDE how did you find the time for this?" meanwhile all Vincent Richard and Antonio have been doing have probably been like . Naming chickens "Bitch" and hangint them from trees to throw eggs at them and harassing villagers or hanging around the pillager mansion like idiots . every time they die they have to ask Antonio or Komi to /tp them to someone else so they can get their shit.
and biggest Fears ... i already said in another postbut Komi is afraid of getting attached to humans but like she always does that anyway. smeting about her immortality VS their mortality and how they're destined to die and she's destined to leave .i guess she copes with this by CLINGING onto the memories she makes with the humans she meets in the Multiverse . and taking some suveniors from each world. Actually she has the original Vinnie puppet ! she kept that .
Vincent's biggest fear is people finding out who he really is .. a Manipulator Mainsplainer Mansluaghter er . he doesnt want to lose everything he doesnt want to be a 'normal person' he WANTS TO BE SOMEBODY. his biggest fear is LOSING. thats probably why he cheats at hide & seek as Monster Vinnie in the final night.
Antonio's biggest fear is ending up like his dad . as he's been raising himself and his siblings and observing his parents he's made a mental note of his dad's behaviors and how he NEVER WANTS TO END UP LIKE HIM . you can think ofhis dad like Clay Puppington maybe ? idk i just saw a moral orel clip this morning and now im thinkin about that show again . NO SORRY I FORGOT ANTONIO IS A LOT LIKE KENNY MCCORMICK , his parents just arent crackheads they're alcholics . but Yeah Antonio is TRYING to get himself together but tbh Vincent being an awful boss is ADDING to Antonio's stress and its not good for his mental health at ALL. he was probably seeing a therapist and was going to AA meetings but then ONE DAY he got into a fight with Vincent backstage and he went home and spiraled again. undoing his progress. Ywah im projecting heavy.
Richard's biggest fear is probably something tamer than everyone elses . for now anyway he isnt really complex in my mind like the other Three are rn 😭😭😭😭 SERIOUSLY THE GAME GIVES ME NOTHING TO WORK WITH WHICH IS FINE B FNAC 3 HAS AMAZING STORY TELLING BUT IN THE CONTEXT OF ME TRYING TO EXPAND ON WHAT'S THERE I DONT HAVE MUCH FOR THE CAT ACTOR .
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peaky-shelby · 2 years ago
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Despair in the Departure Lounge
He's pining for her
In a people carrier
There might be buildings and pretty things to see like that
But architecture won't do
Although it might say a lot about the city or town
I don't care what they've got, keep on turning 'em down
It don't say the funny things she does
Don't even try and cheer him up, because
It just won't happen
He's got the feeling again
This time on the aeroplane
There might be tellys in the back of the seats in front
But Rodney and Del won't do
Although it might take your mind off the aches and the pains
Laugh when he falls through the bar
But you're feeling the same
'Cause she isn't there to hold your hand
She won't be waiting for you when you land
It feels like she's just nowhere near
You could well be out on your ear
This thought comes closely followed by the fear
And the thought of it makes you feel a bit ill
Yesterday, I saw a girl who looked like someone you might knock about with
And almost shouted
And then reality kicked in within us
It seems as we become the winners
You lose a bit of summat
And half wonder if you won it at all
And don't say 'owt 'cause you've got no idea
And she's still nowhere near
And the thought comes closely followed by the fear
And the thought of it
Makes you feel a bit ill
Despair in the departure lounge
Is one and they'll still be around at three
No signal and low battery
What's happened to me?
😢😢😢
Well that shit’s depressing. Literally Kylian’s POV. Especially the part where he sings about how being successful means giving up/losing something important that you cant replace which makes him wonder if he has truly won after all. That shit is heavy.
This is not Kylian’s song when Taylor goes back to England. Taylor is not going back to England. This is Kylian’s song when he leaves PSG and Taylor for Real Madrid to achieve his dreams. It’s literally perfect. This is the song when he’s on his private plane to Madrid and they are over the city and his agent is telling him about the architectures and how beautiful the city looks below them. And kylian mind is somewhere else. He is not thinking of the city below him. He is thinking of Paris and how beautiful his city looks like from above. Especially at night. He is thinking of Taylor and how beautiful she looks like. Especially at night. And he knows that when he lands, Taylor is not waiting for him. And and and oh my goddd he has this sinking feeling that he is losing her. That he has lost her. And it’s that sinking feeling that makes you panic a bit, that makes you want to throw up. But he is Kylian Mbappe. He is the best player in the world. He has a destiny to fulfill, a legacy to make and therefore he must play in the biggest club in the world. And he is heartbroken but also this is the very thing he has been working on since he started playing football as a child. This is his dream. Or is it? Is it really?Or is the girl he left in Paris his new dream? When did his dream change? When did his dream became more than football? Oh my godjsjsjsjdjd im crying? He’s supposed to be happy and he is but also he is so fucking sad. So fucking lonely and heartbroken and scared. Scared that he is going to regret this. Scared that he does not know what he is doing. Scared to find out what’s out there. He tries to keep a brave face. A smile. His family watches him. His mom notices something is off. She reaches for his hand to ask and Kylian squeezes it as if to say “Dont worry mom. I’m fine. I got this. I wont let you down.” He needs to fulfill his destiny here. This is what he is supposed to do. This is what is expected of him. So he gathers himself together. Take a deep breath gets himself ready for the cameras and people waiting for him as soon as he lands.
Fuuuuvkkkkkkk uuuu anon. This got me fcked up!!!!! Stop ruining my week! PSG has done enough damage already! 😫😫😫😩🥺😢😭😩😤🥺😢😫😫😫😫😢😭😭😢😫😫😩😫😫😩😫😫😫😭😭😭😖😣😖😟😔😣😔😞😭🥺😩😫😭😢😩😫
You wanna write the sequel to New Romantics bc damn this shit fucked me up too 😭😭😭 good job anon 😭😭
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fcllederage-moved · 2 years ago
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DRAG RACE FRANCE PROMPTS prompts from season 1 translated from FR to EN
"I think when she started drag, I was just born, right?"
"My mom always told me not to play with fire, but mom, I am the fire."
"En français, s'il vous plait."
"I just one day realized that this body is unique and I know how to make it artistic."
"I do it because it's freeing for me and maybe someone in the audience is gonna be like "oh okay, I can do it too"."
"Drag saved my life because I was already very, very depressed."
"It's lacking a few naked boys, in here."
"When I told my mom, she was peeling carrots and it took me, like, fifteen minutes to tell her. I was shaking and I said "I'm gay" and she just put her knife down and said "I've known since you were four"."
"Coming out of the closet can be problematic although it doesn't change who we are."
"The child you raised is the same before and after coming out."
"I will never understand the concept of coming out because you have to explain your sexuality to... the world?"
"I'm neither a man nor a woman but I'm also not non-binary, and that the only reference I have is myself."
"Baguette ? Oui, oui ! Baguette !"
"Let's be proud of who we are, because we're fabulous and, above all, we're legit."
"My biggest fear is to disappoint."
"I don't have the strength to talk, right now."
"No shade, it's true."
"Thank God for drag, otherwise you'd spend your life behind the cameras..."
"You have drag in your blood... It's a shame there's a bad circulation..."
"Once the library is open, nobody is safe."
"How did I come in? Just like you, from behind."
"I love homosexuals! They're so romantic!"
"What was the question? Where are we?"
"And the winner is... No one! Because everything was fake and life is a lie!"
"Someone here is very quiet... are you okay?"
"My mom always told me: you're gonna take hits, but you're also gonna give them back."
"I've felt really lonely but after talking about it with the girls, I realized it's something I'd brought upon myself."
"Being here is like an emotional time bomb."
"You're so cringe I can't even look at you."
"I knew you were mine!"
"When I talk to gay friends around me, they're all very careful and stay protected. But when I talk to straight friends, they always talk about how they had unprotected sex, I mean yeah okay, but we're not the only ones who have this responsibility."
"More people need to find the courage to talk about how being undetectable means being untransmissible."
"She's sexy, she's arrogant, she's queer, she's fem, she's strong."
"What an amazing artist you are."
"It's not the end for you. It's clearly just the beginning."
"You are officially bad people."
"I'm not made to only do one thing."
"People think we do drag because it's our passion, and it's true, but it also leads to that idea of we don't have to be paid. They'll offer us a drink and we should be happy."
"For ordinary people, a drag queen is just a man dressing like a woman."
"I am haute couture, my friends!"
"When it shows body, I say yes!"
"We're queer, we're drag queens. We've been gay kids in school. We've all, one day, been this person who wasn't chosen in a group, or who is designated as the one who should be excluded."
"You brought us love, poetry, your passion and I can't wait to see the rest."
"I'm proud to say she's my sister now."
"I have no idea what I was doing."
"You gave it your all."
"There are living people who are interesting too, you know that, right?"
"We are ready to rise from our ashes. We are phoenix, we are muses, we are warriors."
"No, after three hours of makeup, it's your sister, not your brother anymore."
"I feel like a duck on skis."
"I always feel like someone is going to realize I'm a fraud."
"The stage is my entire life and I could never do anything else."
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irresistiibles · 1 year ago
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@mvsicinthedvrk asked: cheating & sending the same one you sent me for them but: what’s one thing that QINGXUAN would want to tell HE XUAN, if there were no consequences, and if HE XUAN would forget it immediately after the conversation?
probably that despite everything qingxuan still doesn't want to lose he xuan and that he's still her favorite person. that if he xuan wants them to just go their separate ways qingxuan will do what he can to respect that but that they wouldn't be on the same page about it. they know they'll be okay on their own, have vague memories of getting by in the human realm, but that's not the point for qingxuan. he's social, can make all the friends in the world, could probably find someone else to love and have around, but it doesn't change the fact that they'd like to figure out how to make it work with he xuan. they're still a little afraid and unsure, and it's going to take some time to deal with that, and she's always going to mourn her brother despite what he did. qingxuan's not going to forgive he xuan for killing shi wudu, that feels like a betrayal to their brother, and like a lie, but that isn't something they're just going to hold over him either. it doesn't change anything else. she could go on, that they don't feel like they know how to communicate with he xuan anymore and that's the biggest struggle. it's hard feeling like you're so close with someone only to suddenly feel like you don't know them at all. she might apologize for hesitating. it's no like he xuan has been pushing her away, but there will always be some lingering fear, both from black water manor and fear that if he xuan doesn't directly say what he wants they'll fall back into old patterns and qingxuan will just assume and do whatever they want and drag he xuan around. some things probably need to change. qingxuan needs some amount of attempt at honesty from he xuan to keep this going, and things probably can't be exactly the same, but when it comes down to it it all comes back to the same thing, that qingxuan wants he xuan with them and wants to make it work. it's not like any of this is necessarily a secret or something they would absolutely need he xuan to forget, but again, he's careful and nervous about this whole thing and would just like to get it all off of his chest, to deal with some of that energy by just letting it all out there at once and then qingxuan can manage to go back to awkwardly slowly figuring out how to be around each other. i think what it ultimately comes down to the most is that it all feels to qingxuan like they're asking something of he xuan (which i don't really think is the case it's just communicating where they're at but that's not how qingxuan sees it) which really makes them struggle with being just upfront like "hey. you are important to me. i would like to figure out if there's a way for us to work this out. what do you want?" even though like, that would almost certainly benifit them both.
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megbonney · 1 year ago
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✃12/18/23
get get get get got got got got
i just finished brekkie. we made the move, internet is mid right now but i'll be right (can still talk to pook so). i feel like i'm having to find myself again. like i left the biggest parts of me behind with what's been happening recently. it's fine, though. i've grown. i've changed and will always be changing. (but there are some parts of me i fear will stay forever.) rundown: went back to D (my pook, my fig, my beloved), left an attention seeker, met 2 guys, they're both p3d0s, not friends anymore. i find i hop between people fast but it's hard to find any good in this generation. in romantic partners especially. i'm not "traumatised" from the 2 guys thing. maybe a bit scarred but i think you can only have the same situation happen so many times before it comes a weird sort of second nature for you. it's like beating a dead horse. sometimes i feel upset, angry mostly, but it doesn't bother me. not like it used to. in weird times i find myself missing that sort of illegal, forbidden connection. i can't help but like what isn't good for me. but they're also always ugly and always compensating for something else if ykwim. i have blackmail. one of them wants to make it big and knowing i have this kind of advantage gives me an unreal sense of empowerment (mostly ego.) i'll keep quiet. till he thinks i forgot. i wonder if people forget about me long after i'm gone. they'll say they "will always love me" or will keep talking about me way after. it's kind of refreshing to know i'm that captivating...or something. i dunno. i'm happy and at peace, for once. i've raised my standards. also liking gwen stacy r34 is weird when she's 15 and you're 19 and you know she's 15. huh who said that oh my god
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fcllederage · 1 year ago
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DRAG RACE FRANCE PROMPTS prompts from season 1 translated from FR to EN
"I think when she started drag, I was just born, right?"
"My mom always told me not to play with fire, but mom, I am the fire."
"En français, s'il vous plait."
"I just one day realized that this body is unique and I know how to make it artistic."
"I do it because it's freeing for me and maybe someone in the audience is gonna be like "oh okay, I can do it too"."
"Drag saved my life because I was already very, very depressed."
"It's lacking a few naked boys, in here."
"When I told my mom, she was peeling carrots and it took me, like, fifteen minutes to tell her. I was shaking and I said "I'm gay" and she just put her knife down and said "I've known since you were four"."
"Coming out of the closet can be problematic although it doesn't change who we are."
"The child you raised is the same before and after coming out."
"I will never understand the concept of coming out because you have to explain your sexuality to... the world?"
"I'm neither a man nor a woman but I'm also not non-binary, and that the only reference I have is myself."
"Baguette ? Oui, oui ! Baguette !"
"Let's be proud of who we are, because we're fabulous and, above all, we're legit."
"My biggest fear is to disappoint."
"I don't have the strength to talk, right now."
"No shade, it's true."
"Thank God for drag, otherwise you'd spend your life behind the cameras..."
"You have drag in your blood... It's a shame there's a bad circulation..."
"Once the library is open, nobody is safe."
"How did I come in? Just like you, from behind."
"I love homosexuals! They're so romantic!"
"What was the question? Where are we?"
"And the winner is... No one! Because everything was fake and life is a lie!"
"Someone here is very quiet... are you okay?"
"My mom always told me: you're gonna take hits, but you're also gonna give them back."
"I've felt really lonely but after talking about it with the girls, I realized it's something I'd brought upon myself."
"Being here is like an emotional time bomb."
"You're so cringe I can't even look at you."
"I knew you were mine!"
"When I talk to gay friends around me, they're all very careful and stay protected. But when I talk to straight friends, they always talk about how they had unprotected sex, I mean yeah okay, but we're not the only ones who have this responsibility."
"More people need to find the courage to talk about how being undetectable means being untransmissible."
"She's sexy, she's arrogant, she's queer, she's fem, she's strong."
"What an amazing artist you are."
"It's not the end for you. It's clearly just the beginning."
"You are officially bad people."
"I'm not made to only do one thing."
"People think we do drag because it's our passion, and it's true, but it also leads to that idea of we don't have to be paid. They'll offer us a drink and we should be happy."
"For ordinary people, a drag queen is just a man dressing like a woman."
"I am haute couture, my friends!"
"When it shows body, I say yes!"
"We're queer, we're drag queens. We've been gay kids in school. We've all, one day, been this person who wasn't chosen in a group, or who is designated as the one who should be excluded."
"You brought us love, poetry, your passion and I can't wait to see the rest."
"I'm proud to say she's my sister now."
"I have no idea what I was doing."
"You gave it your all."
"There are living people who are interesting too, you know that, right?"
"We are ready to rise from our ashes. We are phoenix, we are muses, we are warriors."
"No, after three hours of makeup, it's your sister, not your brother anymore."
"I feel like a duck on skis."
"I always feel like someone is going to realize I'm a fraud."
"The stage is my entire life and I could never do anything else."
"When I look at you, my eyes burn."
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bright-whump · 3 years ago
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Yeah, the fish tank filling up with water thing in all honor, but what about one of those preassure tank things that slowly drains out the oxygen? and the whole thing is glass obviously and you can still hear through it so Whumper can taunt and watch to their heart's content. or just, making them get into a lockable water tank under threat, going "awwe don't worry, i remember you're quite good at holding your breath, you have been so far", and you know just making them aware they will be locked under water for who knows how long and the panic in their eyes as they try to take the biggest breath of air as the lid starts to close
ANONNAJFHAHDHSHDHD you can't...just...send these to me...I'm going to die. Fuck. Guh. (I'm jk of course please do continue 🥵)
CWs: suffocation/choking, torture, implied past noncon used to taunt
x
"This should be interesting."
Whumpee presses their hands flat to the glass, looking around the container Whumper has thrown them in, trying to figure out what kind of sick torture they're in for this time.
"Wh-what is this?" They don't mean to stammer, to allow their voice to shake, but the fear gets through anyway.
And Whumper loves it. They always do. They grin, wickedly, and then rap their knuckle against it.
"You're too mouthy for your own good, darling. No matter what I do. Gagging you...just isn't good enough. You still find ways to curse me."
"Fuck you," Whumpee singsongs, and then kicks the glass, though it only ends up feeling like it nearly breaks their bare toes. "F—ow! Fuck you!"
"I'd think you'd have learned to use another phrase by now," Whumper purrs, looking them over, and Whumpee scowls, ducks their head in shame. "But I think...no, I think this should be a good lesson."
Whumpee watches Whumper click a button on something in their hand, and flinches as the top of the container closes down.
"What are you—"
Whumper presses something else, smirking, and suddenly Whumpee can't breathe as well. Suddenly they're dropping to their knees, clutching at their throat, and heaving in their breaths with so much effort it makes their muscles ache.
And then there's nothing. They try to wheeze in just a little more, and there's nothing.
Whumpee cries out. Or at least, they try to, but not a single sound comes from their mouth. They gag, and cough, and the noises are entirely silent. They tug at the collar around their neck, but even if they could get it off it wouldn't help.
"That's much better," comes Whumper's voice, muffled from the outside, and Whumpee raises their head to find the awful monster leering down at them, hands behind their back. "Why don't you try swearing at me now?"
Whumpee does try. Nothing comes. They mouth the words with not even a whisper of sound, and then brace themselves against the floor, striking their fist against the ground.
"Quite a fun little invention, isn't it? Vacuum-sealed." Whumper taps the glass again, taking a big, audible breath and sighing it out, and it makes Whumpee's lungs burn even hotter.
"Mmm. You look uncomfortable, dear one. Would you like to come out?"
Whumpee nods. It's all they can do. Their hands claw at their throat, their chest, as the pain becomes unbearable, and Whumper drinks it all in.
"Look at me. Pet. Let me see your pretty face."
Whumpee would do anything for this just to stop. They look up at Whumper, eyes half-lidded and vision blurred, chest heaving as they instinctively gulp for air that isn't coming.
"Oh, you poor thing! I don't think you're supposed to be that color! You look sorry, though. Are you sorry for being a naughty little thing?"
Whumpee nods again. They can't wait anymore, it hurts too much. They're blacking out, and maybe it's for the best they die, it means they'll be away from Whumper—
"Good pet," Whumper says, sounding miles away, and then suddenly there's air hitting Whumpee's face, and they collapse onto their side, coughing and gasping, filling their lungs again and again until things start to fade back in, until they can feel their fingers and toes again and they're left in some awful euphoric state of just being able to breathe.
"You can really hold your breath quite a while," Whumper murmurs, thoughtfully. "I just don't think you should be struggling so much when you—"
"Stop," Whumpee pleads, tears starting to drip down their face. They curl into themselves, hiding their eyes against their arm, and can't hold back a quiet sob, relieved only because they can hear again, they can make noise again. "Please."
"Oh, pet. You sound...broken. It's beautiful."
Whumpee chokes on their tears, and wipes them away, and pushes themselves back up a bit. "No. I—I—I'm not...broken."
Whumper pouts. "Shame. But you are crying. I didn't even have to touch you. So personally, I think, if I just—"
Whumpee feels the air thin again, and they panic, crying out no before they're gasping in as much as they can before it's gone.
"—do this a few more times, that might change," Whumper finishes, with a happy little smile. "It's fun, anyway, isn't it?"
Whumpee covers their mouth with both hands, watching Whumper settle themselves down in a chair they pull over, crossing their legs, getting comfortable as Whumpee's chest starts to burn again.
"I do think you're most beautiful when you're like this, pet. Struggling. Desperate for the breath I won't give to you. It really reminds you who's in charge, here, doesn't it? Who your body belongs to?"
Whumpee only glares at them. It's all they can do.
And Whumper shrugs, checks their watch, and flips the little remote between their fingers.
"Well, that's alright. Nowhere for me to be til tonight. So..." They tilt their head, watching as Whumpee slumps over again, trembling.
"We'll just see how you feel then."
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moon-lixie · 3 years ago
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about a letter left to be found and a boy who disappeared into thin air.
word count: 2.046k
genre: slight angst
song: 말할 수 없는 비밀 (Secret Secret) - Stray Kids
I don't think any of you would be able to understand, not even if I sit down and speak all of my truths. Still, I think I owe an explanation.
With trembling hands he gathered his things, the notebooks filled with dreams spilling from the edges of every page, his favourite hoodies, the pair of bright red headphones he had since the beginning of high school.
From the open window a cold breeze came in and ruffled the slightly damp hair of the boy, paying special attention to the ends that were still clamped together due to the dampness.
He wasn't exactly in a hurry, but he still felt nervous and anxious, because even if it was almost impossible, at the back of his mind he was haunted by the idea of someone coming in and stopping him.
Moving quickly he reached down for the towel hanging around his shoulders and ruffled his hair a couple of times more until he felt satisfied.
First of all, I have no idea where I am going but know that I'm fine.
A loud sigh caressed his lips as it escaped, filling the room that he had always called his own, his little world nobody could disrupt because in between the forgotten comics and the piles of clothes sprawled here and there he had felt more at home than he has ever felt anywhere else.
Throwing the towel to the basket of dirty laundry at the end of the hallway, he finally finished everything he had to do, simply being left with staring at himself in the mirror and fixing the wild strands of hair that had been upset by the freshly washed hoodie hugging his torso.
He could barely muster a smile at his reflection, not because he was sad, but because it all felt surreal in a sense that left him wondering if it was still the middle of the night many years ago and the last years had been nothing but the hopeful dreams of his younger self.
Maybe it's a bit selfish of me to simply leave without a warning, but please understand that I want much more than this place could ever offer me.
He closed the front door of his house, locking it with the pair of keys his mother had given him once he turned twelve; they were still held together by the Pororo keychain he had bought one day after school with such an overwhelming excitement that made the memory pull at the corners of his lips.
It felt bizarre to walk away from the entrance of his home knowing that he was never really going to come back, that this was the last time.
Just like the very first time he had arrived there along with a moving truck packed with boxes and furniture, he felt breath leave his lungs at the sight of the white façade. It made him stop for a second and contemplate in utter silence.
Goosebumps coated the length of his arms once he turned around and kept moving forward at a steady pace, leaving his old bike behind as well.
Know that the decision to leave wasn't made in a haste, I've been thinking about it for long and now just seemed like the perfect time.
Mr. Kim lazily waved in his direction, gentle smile and downturned eyes with the familiar brown that reminded Jisung of his grandfather; maybe that's where he would go next, to visit his grandfather.
Without much thought he returned the sweet and familiar greeting, feeling a bit nostalgic when he thought back to all the summers that he had spent working with the man in his garden.
Back then a young Jisung had been happy to make a few bucks while getting to stay out all day in the yard playing with bugs and with the sun kissing the skin of his chubby cheeks and legs that weren't covered by his favourite pair of green shorts.
He couldn't help but wonder where had all that time run to because despite being the one who lived through it, he could barely make sense or when had he ended up where he was.
Time moved too fast and without a warning, it left everyone wondering.
It isn't easy to leave my whole life behind but it feels right, the mere idea makes me feel lighter because who knows who I'll get to be when I get to the end of my journey.
Perhaps I'll be braver, a little bit smarter, more mature, maybe even a couple of centimetres taller.
He could walk the streets with his eyes closed and still know where every bump and crack was in the sidewalk, he could still point where his old school was, where the closest convenience store stepped in his way and as usual tempted him to buy a snack even on those days were his pockets were empty and his tummy full.
From there he knew his way to everywhere else in town, he even knew how long it would take him to get to said places on foot or with his trusty bike.
It all felt too easy and familiar, too comfortable, and those things weren't bad at all but Jisung thought he had had enough of them. He craved discovering himself inside the walls of another place so foreign that every single one of his truths were only known by himself.
Was it silly? That he thought a change of scenery would make him a new person, one much more alike to who he truly was.
Sometimes talking to someone isn't enough, because you don't think they'll understand, you know they won't. That's why I never said anything about the deepest desires looming in my heart or the biggest fears that tied me down for as long as I can remember.
All the interrogations running leaps around his mind made him walk faster, filling him with the same dreadful excitement he felt every first day of school, one that mixed with nervousness and fear.
He wasn't sure if starting fresh would let him be someone whose fears didn't weigh upon his heart so harshly, he wasn't sure if he would get to be the person he had always wished he could be but he could only hope.
Hope had been what drove him this far and today he was giving it full control of where his feet moved to, control over how his next day would look like or where he would wake up the next day.
Never in his life had he felt more ready to wander around by himself.
But I guess, since I'm going, it's only fair that I try to sit down and talk to someone, hoping that they will understand even if my words are scarce and there will be nobody to talk back to at the end of this letter.
On the horizon the sun rushed to slumber, leaving a comforting lilac pooling around the clouds and making them stand out even more.
Night hovered over his shoulders making him breathe with much more ease because if there was something that portrayed hope and tomorrow with an uncanny resemblance and lack of effort, it was the night sky with its endless stars and its shining moon.
In his childhood days he had discovered that there was no better cure for uncertainty and a nostalgic heart than staring up at the night sky; there was something about it that made him feel like time stopped for an instance, that time wasn't quite as unforgiving while the veil of darkness covered everything.
If he could go anywhere he wanted —which he was already doing— he would wish to go to the sky, not the endless and uncertain space, but the idea of the sky that humans have in their ignorance, a canvas that goes no further than our eyes can see.
Ever since I can remember I've felt like there was a place for me somewhere out there, a place I always called home without knowing what it really was.
It wasn't like I didn't feel at home here, there was just a feeling in my chest that told me out there I could feel completely free in the way I've always craved.
For him it had always felt unfair, how everyone got to live and walk around without the things that kept him back. Of course when he grew older he understood that everyone had their own problems but sometimes that was easy to ignore when one's own darkness loomed around their heart.
He had spent many years wishing, praying to whoever was listening, that he could just be himself without the voices in his head and the uncertainties that made every single one of his steps be cautious.
Nobody seemed to have listened as years went by and things got harder, still, he never gave up and even though he could never really say that there was nothing else bothering him he could at least say that he had everything under control.
If time is unforgiving it also is healing, and for him it had healed many wounds that couldn't be seen.
Unknowingly I spent a lot of time wanting to go to that place, craving to find where it was.
Some years ago I understood that it perhaps wasn't a place but a version of myself that could bring such soothing feelings. That's where I'm going to, that's why I have no destination.
He wanted to believe that nothing had been planned, that his savings carefully stuffed at the bottom of his backpack had just been him being responsible about his money and having enough for the impulsiveness that one day had won over reason and had driven him to this adventure.
He wanted to pretend but it was stupid to do now, there was nobody around to judge him or question his motives, so there was no use in not being honest with himself.
Thinking back to all those evenings spent running around the small restaurant in which he had found a job, he could see that perhaps this plan had been many years in the making.
Unconsciously he had always been hoping for a moment like this, a moment of unadulterated freedom.
Hopefully I do get there, hopefully I get to be happy and everyone I left behind does too.
The journey to happiness, to authenticity, to being unapologetically himself, had taken him to the airport, another thing that wasn't as spontaneous as he had tried to make it seem.
Passport in hand and trembling self, the whiteness of the place and the various people walking back and forth made him realise that this was really going on, he was really leaving.
For the first time in his life overthinking had no place in his plans.
I wish to be who I am meant to and disappearing was perhaps the thing I had always been destined to do. A boy who disappeared into thin air, that's who I am, a boy with secrets that weigh down on my heart and that I'm unwilling to carry with me on this journey.
Approaching the desk he was met with a young woman, in her mid twenties or early thirties, sweet but practised smile covering her lips as she recited the words that he must've learned a long time ago when she first started working there.
"I want a ticket for the next flight available," Jisung said, offering a reassuring smile after the confused look the woman gave him.
He looked around as the sounds of typing filled his ears and before he had time to start regretting something the ticket had been placed on his palm and his savings were short by a considerable amount.
I'm afraid that wasn't much of an explanation but it was my truth.
Good luck and see you whenever we're meant to cross paths.
The last thing he saw before falling asleep were the clouds from above and the sky now completely dark like the many nights he had wondered where he belonged.
Now he had an answer, he belonged wherever he felt free and right then in that comfortable plane seat he felt the freest he had ever been.
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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years ago
Note
It doesn't happen often, but sometimes Mumbo will find himself frozen in place, struck down with fear and doubt.
He'll find his mind echoing with the "but what if" and "you're not good enough to stop them leaving" and he'll begin to lose his vision as his eyes become clouded with tears.
He'll take out his communicator and, with shaking hands, send a message into chat;
<MumboJumbo>: Hey I need some reassurance, could someone stop by?
And the hermits will always stop by. Sometimes just one, sometimes many, but he'll always get at least one hermit at his side in a matter of minutes.
"It's okay" they'll tell him. "We'd never abandon you" they'll say.
"Wherever we go, you'll always be welcome. Until the end of time."
oh my gosh this is so good ;-; hold on lemme see what i can write
warnings for self-doubt, fear of abandonment, implied anxiety attack
Mumbo knows what caused it this time. A combination of late nights, feedback on the HCBBS and being in Scar's base. Everywhere he looks is an incredible creation, more amazing than he could ever hope to achieve. He's felt the thoughts building over the past few days, shoving them down as deeply as he can. Which is always a mistake.
Ironically, it all spills over when he's looking at those same tiny mushrooms that excited him so much before. It's just so clever! It's so smart! And it's something Mumbo would never think to do. He's not smart like this, doesn't have Scar's creativity. He has no idea why the hermits keep him around when they could have more people like Scar. Probably because they know he has nowhere else to go, because they're good people and-
No, no. He tries to remember Xisuma's advice. He needs to breathe. Don't spiral. Long breath in, hold, long breath out. In, hold, out. His vision is blurry, eyes stinging with tears.
He keeps that mantra in his head as he pulls out his communicator. Hands trembling, he manages to navigate to the global chat. He doesn't bother reading the previous messages.
<MumboJumbo> csb somebody come over? need somrone rn
<Xisuma> mumbo? where are you?
<GoodTimeWithScar> Mumbo?
<ZombieCleo> where are you mumbo?
<MumboJumbo> msgic village
<ZombieCleo> omw
<Xisuma> let me know if you need back up
<ZombieCleo> will do.
By the time Mumbo hears rockets overhead, he's curled into the base of a tree. The bark presses hard against his back, his face hidden in his knees. He focuses on his breathing. All of those thoughts are blocked out of his head. He knows they're stupid, he knows. The hermits must be so tired of this by now-
"Mumbo." A voice calls, derailing that notion. "Where are you?" He raises his head, rubbing his eyes with a sniffle.
"I'm over here." Mumbo's voice shakes as much as the rest of him. There's a crunching of grass, and he flinches when he hears a twig snap. Soon enough, a wave of red hair falls in front of him, Cleo crouching to his level. She has a gentle smile that is in such contrast to her usual sarcasm.
"Hey, Mumbo. You want to go inside?" He nods. He can't quite find the words to say, so he accepts Cleo's hand as she pulls him to his feet. His suit is crumpled, pulling in all the wrong places and it only feels more stifling. Cleo walks with purpose, searching each building until she finds one that's mostly liveable, with a fair amount of grumbling about Scar and chestmonsters.
It is nicer inside the house. She sits him down on an old sofa, ruffling through already messy locks. The suit jacket is discarded and laid carefully over an armchair. Mumbo tucks his feet onto the edge of the sofa, wrapping his arms around long legs. A blanket is soon wrapped around his shoulders. Mumbo snuggles into it, disappearing until he's a head and two black socks in a pile of blue fabric.
"There you go, do you want some tea?" Mumbo nods. Tea sounds nice right now. He gets a good hair ruffle before Cleo vanishes in search of the kitchen. He can still hear her moving around, cursing under her breath as she tries to navigate Scar's overflowing storage. Mumbo laughs softly, more air than noise. He closes his eyes, resting his chin on his knees.
Cleo's good to him. She came here so quickly, like she often does. If not Cleo, then it would've been another hermit. They always drop everything to come help him. He just- is he really worth that effort? He doesn't do anything in return for them. Maybe it was a mistake calling someone over, he should've just dealt with this on his own, they're going to get frustrated he keeps doing this-
"Mumbo," Cleo calls. Mumbo blinks as he finds himself back in reality. "I can hear your thoughts from here. Do you want honey in your tea?" Mumbo squeezes his fingers into the soft material of the blanket, listening to a distant kettle boil. He breathes in a scent similar to a library. Something old, with a hint of magic.
"Yeah, honey would be nice."
"Got it!" He occupies his mind by looking around the room, naming each of the things he can see. There's a bookshelf against one of the walls. The top two shelves are decorated by various trinkets. Little statues and toys, sentimental items that Mumbo doesn't know the meaning of. The bottom shelves are filled with books from various designers. Scar showed him some recently, pouring over the art with a bright grin. Mumbo hung onto every word he said. A solitary redstone book sits amongst them, and Mumbo huffs an amused breath.
When Cleo returns, he's looked at the curtains, one of them pulled tied open, the forgotten mugs on the coffee table, the various doodles scattered in sheets of paper, the plants that are somehow alive and Cleo, who isn't. She smiles, passing Mumbo the mug. He curls his hands around it, pleased the heat isn't unbearable.
"So which ones do I need to fight this time?" She asks. Mumbo chuckles. The blanket has slipped further back so his hands can stick out.
"You don't need to fight anything," he replies. Cleo crosses her arms, dropping into the space next to him.
"Really?" He looks into the steaming tea. Cold isn't a problem in the jungle, not during the day. But the heat is a good grounding point. Though he could get lost in the way the steam catches the light, shimmering white patterns painted in the air.
"It's the usual," he finally concedes. "With some added 'I'm only bothering you and you're all going to get tired of needing to help me.' You know." Cleo hums. She does know. Mumbo sometimes wishes his doubts would get more adventurous, and then remembers what a terrible idea that would be.
"Do you have the book?" She asks. Mumbo shakes his head.
"I think I left it in my- no, Scar's base." He would usually keep his book of affirmations in his enderchest, but he was a bit flustered with the whole move. He thinks he left it under his pillow.
"I'll ask Scar to bring it over later."
"You don't-" She gives him a look. "Okay. Thank you," he amends. Taking a sip of the tea, he sighs. Cleo knows just how he likes it. The honeyed taste is a much-needed treat.
"So, you know what I'm going to say?"
Mumbo smiles, telling her, "Say it anyway."
"Mumbo, you could be the biggest spoon in the world, and we'd still keep you around, right?" Mumbo laughs, falling into the script with ease.
"Right."
"You're our family. We don't care if you don't achieve these incredible feats, though you do, by the way. We're lucky to have you here, and it makes me smile everytime I see what you're up to. Big or small." He hides his wet smile behind a sip of tea. There's no hiding the tears gathering in his eyes. "Mumbo, you're an amazing person, alright? The best annoying baby brother I could ask for. Wherever we go, you can come with us. As long as you want to."
"And if that's forever?"
"Then it's forever. And I'll consider myself lucky everyday you decide to stick around." Mumbo sinks back into the sofa, finally letting go of the tension he was subconsciously holding. "Right. Now let me read all the chat messages."
Mumbo laughs, reaching up to wipe his eyes, "Seriously?"
"We care about you, you dork." Cleo sits forward, holding her communicator up. She takes a deep breath, continuing in her best gameshow voice, Mumbo laughing the moment she speaks, "And first up, we have Xisuma! Asking me to tell you that he cares about you and he's always here if you ever need to talk." Mumbo settles back, a wide grin on his face, content to listen.
-
Cleo carefully takes the mug from Mumbo's hands, the redstoner offering no resistance as he yawns. His eyes are half open, blinks growing longer every time. She brushes hair from his face, gently lying him down until he's resting in her lap.
"There you go," she soothes. Mumbo quietly rearranges, hugging Cleo's legs. "You've done so well. You can rest now." Mumbo's sleepy hum brings a smile to her face.
She watches as Mumbo's breath evens out, his body growing heavier on her. She carefully tucks the corner of the blanket in before pulling out her communicator, snapping a quick photo.
<ZombieCleo shared a photo>
<ZombieCleo> mission successful
<Xisuma> :-D
<Stressmonster101> awwwwwwww <3
<iskall85> some much needed sleep i'd say
<GoodTimeWithScar> I'll be over with the book when I find it
<ZombieCleo> don't worry, i think he'll be out for a while lol
She smiles at her communicator and the lanky redstoner in her lap. There are very few sights that warm her undead heart more than this. She leans back, and settles in for however long Mumbo needs her.
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Text
Unexpected Places (Pt. 10 of 11)
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Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader
Word count: 2.7 K
Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.
<- Previous part (09)
Next part (11)->
{Vikings Masterlist}
×
A Lot To Celebrate
You're not a poet, and you surely weren't born with literary talents. But if that's something you learned after coming to Kattegat, is that you can feel. And you feel it, the distance, the days that don't seem to pass by. Aslaug takes you to everything she has to do, alongside Helga, Torvi, and some other women. The weather is quite nice, and you're not cold all the time. Kattegat is a completely different place, but you do find ways to enjoy it. The town is empty, less loud than it used to be. And it doesn't help when Ivar's absence hits.
It usually happens in the morning, or the evening. When you wake up, with nobody lying next to you, and right before falling asleep. You miss Hvitserk too, and even Ubbe. Bjorn... Not really.
Aslaug started talking about marriage after a while, making you blush so hard you feel like you'll burst into flames. You haven't spoken to Ivar about it, and you don't want to take things too fast. But secretly, you enjoy making plans, and you even give some ideas of what you'd like. The celebration is quite different here, and you can actually have a say in what you want and what you don't.
You start getting impatient when the winds start blowing colder, a sign that summer is passing. And you can't even begin to describe your happiness when the news arrive of the boats returning. The town bursts into life, and you decide to pick up some flowers in the woods to make yourself a crown. Helga comes with you, happy her husband is coming back. Searching through the forest, you put the flowers you like on a basket, holding the bar of your dress out of the way as you climb a small slope.
“What do we have here?” The voice doesn't belong to Helga, that's obvious, and it makes you turn around, freezing when you find two men standing some feet away.
Looking at the sides, you see Helga, way too far among the threes, oblivious to your company. “What do you want?” You ask, fingers holding the basket a little tighter. “The warriors are returning from England.”
“We know.” The tallest says, walking over you. “We were heading to Kattegat but now that we found a pretty girl like you...” He smiles, and his friend circles around you, making it impossible for you to run. “...We thought we could use a little distraction.”
“(Y/N)?” Helga calls, and you look her way. She comes running, grabbing your arm when she reaches you.
“One for each.” The one standing behind you says. “That's an improvement.”
“If you touch any of us, Ivar the Boneless will know.” You speak fast, holding Helga's hand.
At the mention of Ivar, the one before you steps back, squinting his eyes. “Ivar isn't here.”
“He's on the boats about to arrive.” You explain, trying to keep your voice steady. “I belong to him now, and I'm sure you know Ivar is very possessive of the things he owns.” Pulling Helga with you, you start walking.
“Are we going to let them go?”
“I won't piss Ivar off.”
“We'd be done with both of them and far away from Kattegat before he even gets here.”
“Run.” Helga whispers and you both set in motion.
You're not sure if they're following you or not, but you don't stop until you're back in town. The basket and the flowers were left behind, you're not sure where, but it doesn't matter. Once you're surrounded by people again, you try to catch your breaths.
“Are you alright?” You ask, running a hand through your hair.
“Yes. You did right back there. Talking about Ivar.”
“It wouldn't stop the other one.” Taking a deep breath, you start walking again. “It doesn't matter. Not now. They're almost here.”
“You tell Ivar about that. They'll probably come to Kattegat.”
“I will.” But not now. As you walk to the deck, the first boats are already here, and you're immediately looking for Ivar.
The fear from moments before vanishes when you finally spot his boat, sailing way too slowly for your taste. When it finally stops, you push some people out of the way, unable to just stand there and wait. When you see him, you get the same feeling you had on the first time those blue eyes met yours. Smiling, you watch as two men help him out of the boat, putting him on the ground. You're not sure why he's not with the clutch but you don't care. Kneeling, you sit on your legs as Ivar crawls over you. Your heart is trying to beat its way out of your chest it seems, and you feel relieved to see he's not wounded.
“Hi.” He says, a funny smile on his lips.
“Been a while.” Ivar settles down, hands resting on his lap.
“Sorry if I'm not standing, princess, but–”
Grabbing the collar of his leather vest, you pull him into a kiss. Standing, crawling, it doesn't matter. Ivar is back, alive and well, and you'll have him all winter.
“Do you have to do that here?” A very annoyed Ubbe complains, making you pull away and laugh.
“Hello, Ubbe.” You stand up, giving him a quick hug. “It's good to have you back.”
“It's good to be back.” He smiles, walking away, and greeting some people.
“Hvitserk?” You ask Ivar, at the same moment you see him coming your way with his father.
“I'm still here,” Ivar complains when you step away a little to hug Hvitserk and Ragnar, welcoming them back.
”Don't be jealous.” You tell him, keeping his pace as he crawls through the deck. “Let's get you cleaned up. You have some blood on your clothes that I know it's not yours.”
Ivar simply giggles, and that's all the answer you need.
Ragnar's house is very, very loud tonight. You hear them from inside your bedroom as you dress up for the biggest feast they have here. To celebrate those who came back alive and to honor those who didn't. Once you're ready, in a new, beautiful dress, you sneak your way to the main hall, but you stay behind the leather-like curtains, a few feet away from Ragnar. He glances at you, smiling.
“Ivar isn't here yet.” He says, and you raise your eyebrows.
“What makes you think I'm looking for him?” Shrugging your shoulders, you're happy he's too far to see your blushing cheeks.
“I know a lovebird when I see one.” He mutters, giggling.
“Fine, old man.” Rolling your eyes, you step back, waving at Ragnar before turning on your heels and heading for Ivar's bedroom.
The halls are empty, obviously, and your footsteps echo. You're not sure why Ivar isn't at the feast yet, so you softly knock on his door instead of just pushing it open.
“Who's it?”
“Me.” You answer, wondering what's about with his angry tone. “Can I come in?”
“I'm bathing.”
“And?” Your brain is somehow slower than your body because you only process what Ivar said when you're already inside. “Oh.” You mutter, seeing Ivar in a huge tub. Pushing the door close, you clear your throat. “Sorry... I can leave if you want.”
“No, I...” Stuttering, Ivar settles down again, his back at you. “There are just some things you don't have to see.”
“Like your legs?” You decide to just say it, noticing, even though he's looking away, that he nods. Slowly, you make your way to where he is, and you can't help but notice his tub is like three times the size of yours. For the legs, probably. The closer you get, the more restless Ivar gets, as if he's trying to hide himself. “Your hair is dripping.” You whisper, stopping behind him. “The floor is all wet.”
“They'll clean it up after.” He snaps, turning his head to look at you. “You don't have to–”
“To see you?” Walking around the tub, you just look. You know why they call him Boneless now, but you were expecting something far, far worse. Slowly, you raise your stare until you meet his eyes again.
Ivar expects you to leave. You can see it in his eyes. He expects you to leave and be with someone else. Probably, Bjorn, you think. But no. You don't want anyone else, and you need to show him that.
Taking a deep breath, you pull the skirts of your dress up to your thighs, stepping inside the tub. “What are you doing?” Ivar asks, a low chuckle escaping his lips. As you lower yourself, the water spills out, and you pity whoever will have to clean this up.
“This tub is huge. It fits two.” You answer, settling down, straddling his hips. A smile breaks through his lips, and you feel your heart warming up. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you sigh. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” Ivar brings a hand to caress your cheek, and you close your eyes.
“And I need you to know that I don't want anyone else.” Whispering, you place a lingering kiss on his lips. “I want you, Ivar. Crippled and everything, I love...” Your voice fades as you realize the word you just said. Biting your lip, you clear your throat. There's no reason to hide it, it's true. And he has to know. “I love you.”
“Marry me.”
Whatever you were going to say next, it gets stuck in your throat. You can't help but wonder if you heard him right, and then, you just expect him to laugh, to say it was a joke. But Ivar just stares at you with a serious face. “A-are you for real?” You stutter, looking for any signs of doubt on his face.
“I am.” He nods, his thumb caressing your lower lip. “I want you to be my wife.”
Smiling, you pull him into a kiss, fast and passionate, that leaves both of you breathless in no time, forcing you to pull away. “Yes, I want to be your wife.” You tell him, unable to keep the smile from your face.
“Then buy a new, pretty dress, and make a flower crown for the wedding.”
“Well, I was going to make a flower crown to welcome you back but...” Helga did say you should tell Ivar, but you don't want to ruin the moment, it just happened that the conversation flowed this way.
“What?” He inquires, already aware something is wrong.
“I went to the woods with Helga when we heard the boats were coming to pick up some flowers but these two men showed up and surrounded me.” You speak in a low voice, not really pleased on remembering it. “When I said I was with you one of them backed off immediately, but the other said they could be done with both Helga and I before you got here. So we ran.”
Ivar's expression changes and you get now why people fear him. It feels like he could burn those men alive by just thinking about them. “Are they here?” He asks, voice clouded by fury.
“They said they'd be coming to Kattegat so probably yes.”
“Then let's get out of this tub and join the feast.” Ivar kisses you on the lips before holding your waist and pushing you up.
It's not like you could stop him, so you just do as he says. Your dress is ruined, so you go back to your room to put on a dry one. Half an hour later, you're entering the main hall, hand in hand. Ivar gives you a look that you already know what means. He wants to know if they are here, so leaving him standing by the thrones, you walk around, eyes scanning through the people. You're about to give up, thinking they had the decency not to show up when you eye Helga, and she tilts her head to the side. And there they are, chatting, unaware of the rage that will rain upon them.
Turning around, you find Ivar's eyes set on you. Feeling brave, you walk over to the two man, with their backs at you, touching both their shoulders. They stop suddenly, curiously looking at who's behind them. But when they see you, their expression change, as if they've just seen a ghost.
“Hello again.” It's everything you get to say before some men, ordered by Ivar, come to take them away as they desperately try to fight, saying they're sorry. But it's a little too late for that.
“Now that the trash was removed...” Ivar raises his voice, and a silence falls on the hall. Making your way over him, you blush a little, taking his hand. “...I want to announce that Princess (Y/N) and I are getting married.” The hall bursts into cheer as people raise their cups and celebrate.
Aslaug comes to hug you and her son, a smile that means she already knew this was coming. Ragnar comes next, then Helga, Floki, Torvi. Hvitserk comes running, hugging, and spinning you around, a bright smile on his lips. Ubbe does the same, telling his brother something you couldn't hear. Bjorn only nods from a distance before walking away. You're so happy now that it hurts to see him so bad. Sighing, you grab Ivar's arm.
“I'll go speak with your brother. I'm sure the news didn't sit well with him.” You know about the growing jealousy between the two brothers, but everyone will have to learn to deal with it. Nobody is going anywhere, and the best you can do is try to make things work out.
Ivar gives you a look, not happy about it, but sighs and nods. “He'll try to convince you to marry him instead.”
“Then he'll lose his time.” Placing a kiss on his lips, you smile and go where you saw Bjorn walking to. You find him outside, drinking what's left of his cup before letting it fall to the ground. Pulling your cloak tighter, you slowly approach him. “I'm not the only princess out there, you know it, right?”
Bjorn turns around suddenly, furrowing his eyebrows. “Came to make me feel better?”
“I came to tell say that you don't love me, Bjorn.” Walking over him, you stop when you're closer. “You love the idea of the prophecy being fulfilled.”
“Don't act as if you know me.”
“I may not know you, but I know this.” Raising your voice a little, you take a deep breath. “Maybe the Seer wasn't talking about me.” You don't believe their Seer or the things he says, but if it's to make Bjorn feel better, to put some sense into his head, you don't mind bringing him up. And, you did learn a lot about their culture, and you know how things work here. “If it was, I wouldn't have fallen for Ivar.” Friendly, you touch his arm. “I assure you who the Seer saw wasn't me, so don't waste the time you could use finding love. This... This is what was supposed to happen, Bjorn. And what's supposed to happen to you will come, I know it.”
Despite the nod, you don't think he's convinced. “You're very beautiful.” Bjorn says in a low voice, and you blush, looking down and muttering a ‘thank you’. “I never thought anyone would really love Ivar, and to know someone looking like this chose him over me.” He giggles. “It's insane.”
“Well, thanks for the compliment. But it's not about choosing him over you. And it's not about him being a crippled and you having normal legs. It's about the heart.” Shrugging your shoulders, you see when Bjorn looks at something behind you, and you know who it is. “The heart is a wild creature, Bjorn, it loves who is loves and... Mine loves Ivar.” Giving him a small smile, you step back. “Yours will find someone too.” Turning around, your smile grows bigger when you see Ivar, walking over him and taking his hand on yours. “Let's go back in there. We have a lot to celebrate.”
×
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damn-stark · 4 years ago
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Slytherin vs. Gryffindor
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Chapter 16 of Different light
A/N- Got to enjoy the last happy moments in this series while we can :):
Warning- Angst, Fluff!
Pairing- Harry Potter x Malfoy!reader
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
Darkness caved in the class whilst thick white smoke slowly crept out of the cabinet and filled the room in an eerie presence. The whispers of curious students who anxiously waited to see what scared you, slowly died down and instead let silence echo loudly in the class.
Fear was the lesson for today’s Defense against the Dark Arts class. Snape said that fear is a weakness, and we must all face our fear to grow stronger in these troubled times. And you knew your fear, you’ve met your fear. And yet you didn’t grow strong either of the times you’ve seen him. Doubtful that much would change now as you faced the Boggart.
You wanted to just leave class, you were filled with the temptation. Yet you stood still as you watched the thick white smoke turn green, casting the room in its bright green hue and cloud in front of you. It took a moment to take form, the smoke just slowly floated towards you, causing you to swallow thickly and curiously step forward to pull your arm from your side and hesitantly reach your fingers towards the smoke.
At first you expected to feel nothing, but the moment your fingers went through the thick green smoke the tip of your fingers began to sting sharply. You pulled your hand back and found that the moment you did, the pain ceased to exist, your fingers didn’t throb, or burn anymore. But that was it right, the fear, it poisoned your mind. It made you believe that the smoke was something painful when it really wasn’t, when it really was something much worse.
The moment you tore your eyes from your fingers and looked up to the smoke, you saw it hastily form into Voldemort and Nagini. Their bodies and faces perfectly vivid in front of you. You tried to raise your wand to say the spell to get rid of what taunted you, to transform them into something funny, but the forms in front of you were paralyzing; they made your breath catch in your throat and your heart violently thump inside your chest. Everything around you blended with the dark room as your eyes solely focused on Voldemort and Nagini.
Professor Snape tried to snap you out of the spell fear casted upon you, but his voice just travelled to the back of your head. All you could do was watch as Voldemort's cold eyes pierced into your soul and Nagini slithered towards you, stopping a few inches before you and raising her head to snap at you and make you flinch back.
Again you could do nothing but stand there until Snape stepped in and made the boggart disappear, relieving your withered soul and letting you release a shaky breath of air whilst your focus returned to your surroundings. A fact that let you hear the whispers behind you, see Snape's dark soulless eyes burn into you and trigger you to hastily run out of the class and go to a lonely dimly lit hall.
You proceeded to check that no one was close by before you pressed your back on the stone wall to slide down to the floor, basking in the silence and loneliness to gently touch the scar on your cheek created by the man you feared. Soon thereafter following by lowering your hand and your eyes to look at your arm, hesitating for a few seconds before you slowly pulled the left sleeve that covered your skin to show yourself the black brand that was on your arm. Knowing that it was a cruel reminder that’d you always face your fear.
As long as he was alive you’d have to live with your fear.
——
“How about,” you pause and hesitate, softening your voice and hearing a faint quiver in your tone. “How about we send it to him some way? I don’t trust just letting someone deliver it. It’s too dangerous.”
“Have you gone soft?” Draco scolds you as he swings back to shoot you a narrowed gazed. “If we send it, we’d get caught, our mission would fail and…” Draco pauses this time and his blue eyes drop to the package in your hand before his shoulders stiffened and he finished his comment. “He would kill us.” His gaze lifts to meet yours and his eyes harden on you again. “If you don’t want to do it, just say so,” his voice rises, causing you to glance out the creek of the door to make sure no one was walking by so you could step toward your brother and shush him.
“Draco, not so loud,” you say in a loud whisper. “They'll hear you.”
Said boy scoffs and rolls his eyes, stepping back to continue. “There's no room for the weak, do it, or die yourself.”
You stay quiet for a moment and challenge his gaze, seeing his hand inch towards the package in your hand before you pull it closer towards you and let out a deep groan. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
Draco pulls his hand away and fixes his coat instead, nodding stiffly and pointing his head to the door before he lets out a quick comment. “Be careful.”
Your lips twitch slightly and you playfully hit his shoulder. “I will.” You offer him a quick assuring look before you turn to try to head out the door, albeit stopping as he speaks up.
“Perhaps I should do it instead,” Draco swallows thickly, his steps towards you echoing in the unoccupied room in the Three broomsticks. “You still seem hesitant and we can’t afford any mistakes.”
You look over your shoulder to meet his concerned gaze. “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”
“Fine,” he grumbles, turning his eyes away and shoving his hands in his pants pockets to finally let you leave. And it wasn’t an easy task, as you walked out the door it felt as if your feet were being weighed down by the weight of your guilt, every second of that short walk to the kitchen was a cruel torture. The smile that had been plastered on your lips was lost the moment you shut the door. Your mission became your priority and also your biggest regret.
But Draco was right. It was either do, or die. No room for mistakes or second chances.
Sometimes you thought though, when you were doing these secret endeavors, why you couldn’t have been born in a different family. You loved your family, yes, but it was because you were a Malfoy that this responsibility was laid upon you. It was just a passing thought, it appeared but usually disappeared like the wind.
Just like it did now as you entered the kitchen. You waited for Rosmerta in the shadows of the room with your wand in hand, taking note of her tardiness and growing angsty on getting this over with. It had felt like hours until she stumbled into the kitchen, when in reality it was only a few seconds.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” she stammered, her eyes instantly finding the package in your hand before she looked at you as she waited by the door.
“It doesn’t matter,” you mutter whilst you push yourself from the corner of the room to lift your wand and point it at her body, “this will just take a few seconds.” You narrow your gaze and block out any emotions that could spoil your plan. You become cold and unhesitant. “Imperio.” You command, stepping forward and slightly tilting your head to continue, “you’ll give this opal necklace to a student you seem fit, hex them and have them deliver it to Dumbledore.” You swallow thickly and drop your hand to put your wand away and walk past her, stopping just as you push the door open. “Don’t waste anymore time.”
“I won’t waste more time,” she slowly repeats in a monotone-like voice. You add nothing else in return and hastily exit the kitchen room to stride back to Draco, feeling the guilt you had tried to hold back slam down on you and causing tears to sting your eyes after you dropped the cold demeanor you tried to act on before.
It was hard to hold back your tears, to break down in that cold hall. But you had to show yourself and Draco that you were strong. Because you were. You were. You could do this.
“You did it?” Draco’s voice registers in your head as you absentmindedly enter the same room you had left him in.
Your eyes slowly drag up to his face and you nod once. “I did it.” You sigh and avert your gaze. “Can we go now? I have work to do.”
Draco’s silence echoes in the room as his eyes search your face, as he tries to read the emotions that were spilt all over your watery eyes. But he wasn’t able to look at your eyes to receive his answer. Leading him to instead sigh, “yeah. We wouldn’t want to get caught.” He walks past you and holds the door open so you could walk out first and hastily lead the way out of the Three broomsticks, with your head hung low. Unknowingly passing Harry and friends in the same pub.
Not like you were paying attention to who was in the pub, or really in the mood to talk to anyone at all. Draco had made a sly comment about seeing Harry, but you were thinking of other things to even capture what Draco had been mumbling about. All you wanted to do was get away from the pub and return to the comfort of school. Or really your dorm.
It was there where you did the opposite of what you told Draco you were going to do; where you could block out everything in the protection of your bed and under the security of your blankets. Where you could numb yourself to feel nothing at all, to avoid the guilt you were riddled with as you watched the candlelight dance on the black brand on your arm. And perhaps it wasn’t the smartest idea, but it felt like the best. All until Clementine came to drag you out of your secluded bubble.
“What are you doing?” She questions as she yanks the blanket off your body. “It’s dinner time, you’ve already missed lunch and our study date, are you okay?”
“No,” grumble as you roll to your other side. “I feel sick.”
Clementine scoffs and then throws herself on your bed, looking at the ceiling and then giggling. “That’s a bunch of bullshit.”
You pull your sleeve over your arm and bury your face in your pillow. “I have a fever, I think. It’s really bad.”
“Come here,” Clementine orders, waiting for you to roll around to face her so she could gently press the back of her hand on your forehead and try to feel for what you claimed, her smile faltering and her dark eyes wandering over your head as she concentrated on her task.
Nonetheless her dark eyes brightened moments later and lowered to meet your own gaze to then slowly smile brightly and say her findings. “Oh yeah I feel something,”
“Fever.” You groggily confirm.
“Just a high amount of bullshit,” she snickers and smacks your forehead before she tears her hand away and snuggles closer to you. “Don’t you want to go see your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you correct her, “we’re just dating, but he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Yet,” she grinned smugly. “Regardless,” she sighed, losing her grin and instead dropping her gaze into a calm expression. “Don’t you want to come eat with your best friend and our annoying brothers then?”
You huff out and shake your head. “No on the brother part, but,” you sigh, “yes on the friend offer.”
“Good.” She interjects before she rolls off your bed and drags you out of your spot, letting you shove your shoes on before she took you downstairs to the main hall and sat you down beside Harry and friends.
“Hello everyone,” you greet warmly, meeting Harry’s blue eyes and offering him a sweet smile.
“Hi, y/n.” He greeted whilst he let his eyes linger on yours before he slid them to Clementine. “Clementine.”
“Hello,” she replied as she served herself a plate of dinner.
Hermione proceeded to greet the both of you, while Ron lazily did so, hardly even paying either of you any attention at first until he realized what was on Clementine's plate. He seemed to light up after that, like he had just received a nice present. He then proceeded to ramble on with her about the food on their plate as if neither of them have either eaten the same meal before. Not only that but they went on about food they’ve tried outside of school, both sharing their dislikes and likes like a bunch of school children. It was pretty nice you did have to admit, Ron and her getting along; it was really something truly unexpected.
And it seemed that Hermione had a lot of thoughts she didn’t share about their interaction too. And you had the temptation to press on the matter, but she was quick to change the subject. “We saw you at the Three broomsticks, y/n, but it seemed you didn’t see us in your hurry. Were you okay?”
Slowly you peel your eyes from your plate to meet her gaze across the table. “Yeah,” you nod, “I was just feeling bad.” You avert Harry’s gaze and clench your fists. “I’m sorry I missed you guys. We should meet there soon.”
“Are you sure?” Harry probed, his hand sliding on top of yours and making your eyes slide to him. “If your brother said something to you…”
“No,” you cut him off, “he didn’t do anything, I wasn’t feeling good so I left.”
“Well he seemed to be upset and in a hurry.” Harry continued, making your hand stiffen under his and for your eyes to leave his again. “Are—”
“Harry.” Hermione sharply cut him off, “drop it.”
Said boy swallowed thickly and hesitated but didn’t fret to listen, his hand sliding off yours and returning to his fork before he changed the subject into something much more upsetting. “I feel bad for Katie Bell, she's still in the medical wing. They can’t seem to find a way to wake her up.”
“Katie Bell?” You ask slowly, feeling your eyebrows pinch together and your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “What happened to her?”
“Hexed,” Hermione answered in a mumble. “After she touched something she wasn’t supposed to. A cursed object.”
At the sound of the words that came out of her mouth your whole body freezes and your breath hitches, the familiar stinging feeling fills your haunted and deeply guilt ridden eyes; not like they caught it with your sudden eruption to escape the table. “I don’t feel good, I’ll be back.”
——
“Reparo,” you chant once, elegantly moving your wrist and fingers to produce the spell from your hand and watch the fragmented teacup float up from the floor and slowly connect like pieces to a puzzle.
Only the moment the cracks connected to build the teacup whole, it all crumbled down again, falling to the floor with an echoing crack on the wooden floor. “Shoot,” you whisper before you sit back down and sit in silence to listen to the rain patter on the roof above, feeling a chill run throughout the perimeters of your skin as a cold gust of air blows into the bell tower.
After abruptly leaving the main hall with your heart in the pit of your stomach, you escaped here, you watched the sunset and stars twinkle in the sky until dark clouds invaded the scene. At first you just basked yourself in the silence and torment of your own guilt, watching the sky change, but soon you began to experiment with different variations of mending spells you could use on the broken enchanted teacup; trying to mimic fixing the vanishing cabinet. But just like that object, failing to fix the teacup.
Not like failing hundreds of times stopped neither Draco or you, you both still continued trying to find a way to fix the cabinet even outside the help of Borgin. Fixing this teacup was an example of that.
So you give your best efforts again, opening your hand again and in your head saying a different variation of the mending spell, once again watching the teacup fragments float into the air and begin to connect…
“Fancing a tea party?” You hear a voice ask from the stairs, the sudden sound breaking through the room making you jump and drop your concentration on your spell, ending with the teacup shattering into smaller pieces on the wooden floor. You swear under your breath before looking to where the voice had come from to see Harry’s deep blue eyes peeking over the wooden floor.
“Not anymore,” you groan as you turn back to the mess on the floor and hear Harry slowly make his way across from you, admiring the rain drops crashing onto the roofs outside that created a soothing melody before he sat down to face you. “How did you know I was here?”
You lift your eyes from what you were cleaning on the floor and notice Harry hesitate, a mischievous smirk pulling on his lips before he answers. “I just….made a lucky guess.”
You scoff and nod slowly, “well alright. What a lucky guess then,” you smirk, leaning over to collect the leftover pieces by his feet, feeling his fingers brush yours as he helps you clean up the pieces. “Thank you.”
“What were you doing?” He finally asks after you take the pieces from his hand.
“Uh,” you hum as you put the teacup away. “I’m practicing mending spells, the known ones, the more unknown and some I have tried to make myself.” You beam up at him and sit up straight to finally meet his gaze.
“Really?” He quirks a brow, “what for?”
You shrug, “practice. If I want to be an auror, I need to practice to be the best. Or try to anyway.”
His eyes roam on your face and he doesn’t respond to the comment you had just shared, instead he changes to what you were dreading. “Are you feeling better? You left in a hurry and never came back. You missed Clementine and Ron’s food competition.”
You snort. “Well maybe I was better off missing it,” you snicker, “who would’ve known they’d get along.”
“Right,” Harry agrees, “especially because Ron is so against Slytherins.”
You laugh softly and hope he'd drop it, but you should have known better.
“But really are you okay?
“Yeah,” you nod, dropping your gaze to your finger tracing circles on the wooden floor. “I’m...fine.” You sigh and lift your gaze to look at him and finish with your assuring comment. “You’re here so I’m better.”
Harry’s eyes widen slightly before he blinks to try to act casual even if a faint blush grew on his cheeks. “Glad to hear that,” he continues whilst he scratches the back of his head and scoots in closer. “You had me worried.”
A soft smile spreads on your features and you move to be at his side instead, feeling his arm instantly loop around your shoulders to pull you closer to his side.
You could feel your heart flutter in your chest but you try to ignore it to keep yourself collected. Even if the next words just clenched your stomach and quickened your heartbeat. “Thank you for coming to look for me...thank you also for being my friend regardless of who my family is.”
Harry shifts and you could feel his stare on you before he parted his lips to answer you. “You've always been kind, there's no reason for me to treat you any other way. You’re not like your family.”
The smile you had painted on your features slowly drops and your face turns more serious, the beating of your heart beginning to race for a completely different reason this time. Guilt once again resurfaces and the question that had been pestering your mind comes out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. Regardless of what he had just said. “Do you think I’m an evil person?”
Harry parts away from your side far enough so he could see your face, so he could show you that he was being genuine. “No. I don’t. Not even a bit.”
Your lip quivers and your voice cracks. “Even if my father is a death eater? Even if he tried to kill you?”
“You’re not your father,” Harry assures you, his eyes piercing into yours as he made his statement clear to only you. Even if you still doubted yourself and his answer.
“Even if I turned on you that day in the ministry of magic?”
“Did you mean to?” He queries.
You shake your head, “no. I didn’t.”
“Then no,” he clarifies, as he grabs your hands and secures them in his hold. “I think your choices were justified and I know that if I were in your shoes I would've done the same.”
“No,” you mutter, “you wouldn't have because you’ve got a good heart Harry, you would've done the right thing.”
“If my family were alive I would have done the same,” he reveals, his eyes blinking away for a few seconds as a sad expression flickers in his eyes—“I know you love your family, y/n, I know that’s why you make the choices you do, I know that even if your family is on the wrong side, they love you. I know that’s why you make the choices you do. Anyone would too.”
His words hit you like a blade to the flesh, they hurt and stung. Every meaning behind it was genuine and sweet, you could feel it, see it in the depths of his eyes. And that wounded you more, it shook you to your very core. You tried to fight the need to cry and say the truth about everything. You ached to tell him the truth about the brand on your arm and how Voldemort frightened you, how he hurt you that day you returned from the ministry of magic.
But you didn’t say anything, even if your throat burned to spill the words trapped within you. It was better to keep things a secret. In many ways it felt good not saying the truth, it made you feel normal and not like some monster, nor an enemy he hated.
Harry made you feel safe. Which is why you kept being at his side, kept talking to him. He had a way to make you feel like you weren’t the monster whispered about in every corner, he made you happy in this gloomy war. Everything felt better with him, which is why you were selfish and continued by his side.
“Could you,” you begin in a whisper, flickering your eyes behind his shoulder to watch the silver raindrops pour down on the roofs outside. “Forgive an evil person?” You continue unsurely, blinking to meet his intent gaze.
Harry sighs but doesn’t hesitate, “I guess it depends, doesn’t it?”
It may be too on the nose, or he may not catch it at all, but you had to say it. You needed to know. “If they had no choice but to be that way.”
“Then yes,” Harry answers confidently, softening his gaze and holding onto your hand tighter until you threw your hands around him and pulled him in for an embrace, snuggling your head into the crook of his neck and balling the material of his shirt under your hands.
Said boy returned your embrace and stroked your back, leaning his head on yours and staying put until you chose to pull away. Albeit you didn’t part away, you only turned around and sat in between his legs to enjoy his company a bit longer.
“Can I show you something?” Harry later asks, breaking the silence.
“Sure,” you nod, feeling his hand dig into his pocket to pull out a potions book that he showed you the moment he swung his arm around you. “Your potions book?”
“No, no...well yes, but just read what’s inside.”
You scoff but take his book nonetheless, opening it and flipping through the pages to notice all the pages were littered with notes. “Wow,” you gasp, “Harry when did you—” you cut yourself off as your eyes land on a page that had a note that read, “property of the Halfblood Prince.” It makes you smile and tilt your head up to look at Harry’s chin until he looks down to look at you. “Are you trying to insinuate something?”
Harry doesn’t understand at first, his eyebrows pinch together and his eyes narrow in utter and innocent confusion. “What?” He stammers, “what do you mean?”
“Look,” you smile, “it’s a clever name. It’s cool, it’s nice. But just give me some time to call you that okay?”
Harry’s eyes widen and he instantly exclaims out, “what? What no! It’s not me.”
“Oh,” you sigh in relief, continuing to laugh and look down at the book. “Good, great. You had me worried for a second.”
“Did you really think I would call myself that?”
You shrug, “who am I to judge? I mean you’re the chosen one, yeah? Maybe you wanted a different alias to match with that title, I don’t know.”
Harry laughs, making you grin whilst you felt his whole shake as he did so. “Well then, who is the Halfblood prince?”
Harry shrugs, “that’s what I’m trying to figure out.”
——
Today was an exciting day because Slytherin was going to play against Gryffindor in quidditch. Every student anticipated today’s match because of the known rivalry Gryffindors and Slytherins have. Students cheered for the players as they walked inside the brightly decorated great hall for breakfast, while others booed (i.a. Slytherin students) when Gryffindor students walked in.
Since you were a Slytherin and had friends in the Gryffindor team, you represented both teams naturally, wearing a nice uniform that matched Clementines, since she wanted to represent both teams for her brother and her friends too.
“Good morning my friends,” Clementine smiled sweetly at Harry and Hermione as you both sat down across from them on the Gryffindor table.
“Good morning girls,” Hermione responded in the same happy energy with a smile that matched yours, her eyes only briefly pulling away from her newspaper.
“Excited for today?” You question as you look at Harry.
Said boy nods after taking a bite of his breakfast. “Should be exciting.” His eyes roam your uniform and he smiles brightly, “what are you wearing?”
You look down at your clothes and then look up to Harry and Hermione both examining your and Clementine's outfit alike. “Since we’re cheering for both teams, Clementine made us both matching uniforms.”
Said girl nods and grins, “pretty smart, yeah?”
“Very,” Hermione agrees, her eyes going to the green and red paint on your cheeks that Clementine practically forced you down to put on. “It’s cute, you made it all yourself?”
“Mhmm,” Clementine nods, “I make some of my other clothes, but it’s just a hobby for now though.”
“Well it is pretty smart,” Harry finally adds, his eyes going to the doors to watch as Ron walked in with a long gloomy face painted on his features. The sight of him however making Clementine shoot Hermione a smirk before the Weasley boy dropped on the seat beside you.
Ron’s eyes dropped on his meal and for the first time since you’ve had meals next to him, he wasn’t frantically digging in like it was his first meal in ages. Instead he looked up to his two best friends in front of him and looked to Clementine to ask, “So how was it then?”
“How was what?” Hermione queried as she put the newspaper down.
“Your dinner party?” He clarified in a louder voice.
“Oh right,” you interject as you take a sip of your drink, “I forgot you guys had that.”
“It was pretty boring actually,” Hermione revealed before Clementine snickered and cut her off, eyeing the red head boy beside her.
“Although I think Hermione enjoyed desert.” Clementine glances at said brunette before her and Harry share a mischievous smile. “It was quite savory and eye-catching, wasn't it Harry?”
You glance at Harry and see him just nod before Ron and you share a confused look, for the first time looking eye to eye and not shooting daggers at one another. Needless to say before either of you could ask what the duo meant, Hermione was quick to change the subject. “Slugghorn is having Christmas too, you know. And we’re meant to bring someone,” she finishes as she sets her article down and looks at Ron.
“I expect you’ll be bringing Mclaggen.” Ron points out in an accusatory tone. “He’s in the slug club isn’t he?”
“Actually I was going to ask you.” Hermione surprisingly reveals, making you choke on your food just for a bit before you drank more of your drink and tried not to smile like an excited child.
“Remember to chew your food, Malfoy,” Clementine discreetly snickered. You rose your cup her way and just chugged it before a sweet blond came skipping behind Ron, shooting you a rather scary glare.
“Good luck today Ron. I know you’ll be brilliant,” she finished in a whisper, walking off just like how she had arrived. The whole interaction however made Clementine, Hermione and you share a look, made you remember that she was the same girl from the stands when they had tryouts.
“Oh wow, congratulations Ron, you have fans,” you pat him on the back, making him wince and take one last look at the blond at the end of the room before he turned back to Harry and leaned in.
“I’m resigning,” he panicked, “after today’s match, Mclaggen can have my spot.”
“Have it your way,” Harry said as he reached his hand over to slide Ron his cup. “Juice?”
“Sure.” Ron said glumly.
“Hello everyone,” a soft, higher pitched voice greets beside Clementine. When you look over you see Luna dressed in a lion costume facing your group. “You look dreadful, Ron.” Her eyes then drift to Harry, “is that why you put something in his cup? Is it a tonic?”
All eyes fall on Harry to wait for a response, but all you recieve is just ignorance from Harry as he puts a flask away, only aggravating Hermione and making you smirk down at your food as she was quick to protest. “Liquid luck. Don’t drink it Ron!”
Ignoring her completely, Ron raises the cup to his lips and doesn’t hesitate to chug the whole drink and look at her in a much brighter manner.
“You could be expelled for that.” Hermione argued to Harry, but received nothing but ignorance again.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Ron grins and begins to get off from his seat. “Come on, Harry. We’ve got a game to win.”
Both boys cheerfully part away from the table and walk out of the great hall, letting you call after Harry as he did so. “Good luck!”
He looks back and shoots you a smile before Ron and him disappear out of the hall, letting Clementine add a sly comment. “It’s no wonder you and Potter get along so well.”
You only smile before looking out the window and admiring the falling snow.
——
The falling snow thickened as the game played out, it seemed to match the aggressive competition on the field as it poured down onto the earth, making the air bitter but tolerable since everyone’s bodies were pumped with excitement as everyone cheered for the great match. As you let yourself get swept away and for once forget what you were facing outside the field, the reason why Draco hadn’t joined the team this year.
Like the crowd you cheered, clapped and jumped as scores were made, or swift moves were shown off. You watched the players soar in the sky; their feces red from the icy air that hit their faces as they zigzagged across the field to block and make scores. More intently you watched Harry on the field with a cheerful expression on your face, yet also watched with your heart on your sleeve when he would get hit or be disappointed because he couldn’t find the snitch. Your stomach churned when he would make steep dives, but regardless you cheered for him proudly, letting your own cheers soar in the sky so he could hear you.
Needless to say though, Ron was the one that took you by surprise if you had to be honest, with his quick saves that he made at points with the tip of his fingers. He carried a smile on his face now, a much happier look than the uneasy one he had plastered for breakfast. He also let himself get swept away and seemed to be cocky, and you had an idea why. Not only because students started to cheer “Ron is our King,” but because of the drink that Harry gave him that was filled with nothing but pure encouragement and nothing else. But for the sake of Ron’s confidence Harry let him believe so.
Anyhow the colors of your uniform would change from Red to Green as you cheered for both sides. Or really when you just cheered for Blaise on the Slytherin team. That color changing stopped albeit when you watched Harper from the Slytherin team collide into Harry before he sped off after the Snitch—“I think Harper of Slytherin seen the snitch!” Zacharious Smith shouted through the megaphone. “Yes he’s certainly seen something Potter hasn’t!”
Not before long, after Harry appeared to be contemplating, he flew up into the sky, following after Harper. Literally causing you to stand on the tip of your toes, with your hand shielding your eyes to watch the bright white sky for Harry and Harper who both raced to catch the snitch. And since it was so high in the sky, if they had shared comments to one another, everyone would be none the wiser since their voices didn’t carry down, all you had to go on was the heart wrenching anticipation as Harper had the snitch just inches away from the snitch, but missed it, or let it pass as he did a double take on Harry who passed him by swiftly.
There were faces expressed, but again nothing was clear with them so high in the sky, all you could do was clutch onto Hermione and Clementine as you all watched Harry dive down, not giving anything away as he was finally at a good view in the field. Not until a few seconds later where he grinned briefly and threw his fist into the sky to show off the golden snitch to the crowd; making it end instantly with the sound of the whistle and causing the crowd to erupt in an excited cheer.
You also clapped and cheered at the top of your lungs, feeling Clemtines arm wrap around you to pull Hermione and you in for a happy embrace. And of course without a moment to spare, and while the Gryffindor players were cheering she pulled Hermione and you down to the field where most students ran down to as well to personally congratulate the team.
However, before you could reach Harry, Clementine and you stop when you catch Blaise walking to the dressing rooms—“you did well, Blaise! I’m proud of you!” Clementine complemented her brother as she threw her arm around his shoulders.
“Thanks,” he whispered with his head hung low.
“Yeah,” you added, “you were great, that goal before halftime was very impressive!”
His eyes fly up to you and he nods, “thank you, y/n.” Blaises eyes linger on you for a second longer before he fully looks at his sister. “Cheering for opposing teams now, are we?” He shoves her arm off him and all she does is smile with pride.
“Yes, I have friends on the Gryffindor who I want to support, don’t be jealous now because I cheered for you too.”
Blaise scoffs and then looks at you again. “You should’ve joined the team, Draco says you're a good chaser. Could’ve used you out there now with your brother off.”
You wave your hand to brush his comment off. “Draco is just exaggerating, plus I play just for fun.”
“Well I think she’s better off in the stands. Wouldn’t want them hitting her pretty face,” Clementine teases.
“I’d like to see them try,” Blaise throws out before he walks off and leaves the both of you behind.
Clementine falls silent, her smile falling as she stays frozen to her spot for a brief moment and just watches her brother walk off and then just stares at his footprints on the snow covered ground. Unlike you on the other hand who finally spins around on your heels to run to Harry, maneuvering through the excited crowd of students until you pushed yourself to the middle and saw them cheering Ron and him on.
“Harry!” You call out, instantly stealing his attention and having him turn around to face you and smile wider. At the sight you run the final steps towards him and throw your arms around his neck, feeling his arms secure around you before you slid your hands to cheeks to pull him in for a short lingering kiss that had some students whooping and cheering louder for him.
Harry was caught by surprise but he didn’t pull away, he enjoyed the heart racing moment like you did, you let yourself get swept off in the moment, not caring who saw your daring actions, not caring what they’d say after. All you cared about was Harry and your kiss, how your heart felt like it was going to tear off your chest with how fast it was thumping, or how utterly happy you felt with him by your side.
All you cared about was the last happy moments before the inevitable would happen that would change everything.
.
.
.
Tagged- @peter-laufeyson , @swiftlymoniquesblog @spideyyypeter , @gsvshsjsbs, @accio-prozac , @cherriesanwine , @kokomaesadie , @april-14-blog , @prettypinkpeachh , @pest-ill-ence @ilovespideyyy @m3ssytrash @hogwarts-babe-blog , @yodaboo @rafeyybabyy
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eyitsroseau · 4 years ago
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Across the World Part 1 (Dr. Xeno dad! x Reader) Dr. Stone fanfic | A mini-series
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This will be in two or three parts. I don't know yet. But I hope you like it!
Part 2
Part 3
In which you found out you were pregnant pre-petrification to your long time boyfriend NASA scientist, Xeno. However, when you told him the news, he wanted nothing to do with it because his top priority is his research. Hurt, you decided to find refuge and start anew in the country you have always wanted to live in, Japan. Post-petrification and Senku announced they'll be traveling to America. As you have lived there before, they took you and your one-year-old daughter along. Now, thousands of years later, you'll find yourself face to face with the man who had hurt you the most across the world.
"Hey, babe?" Your nervousness seeped out of your body and your trembling hands are the evidence.
"Yeah? Look, my mentee from Japan messaged me. Looks like he's building a rocket again. Hmmm. All he needs is niobium-alloy nozzle..." he replied, giving you his divided attention. Again.
"Uh, babe?" You said a little louder this time. Sensing your urgency, he sighed and faced you fully.
"What is it?"
"This may sound shocking but, I'm... pregnant," you finally announced, clutching at the hem of your shirt while you waited for his reply.
You know this is unexpected but he'll take responsibility, right? Right? But the nagging gut-feel inside you knows what his answer will be.
With a straight unforgiving face he replied,
"I don't want it."
Remember that pain. Remember the hardships you went through. Remember how you wanted to go far away from the man that hurt you the most. Remember how he never contacted you even a year later. Remember how he didn't even ask for your child- the daughter he never got to meet.
Your daughter, oh God, your daughter! Never forget the way her eyes glimmer when she's with you. Never forget the smiles and giggles she reserves for you. Never forget how she nuzzled you on her first birthday. Never forget the time when you are taking her for a walk near a high school and suddenly you saw a blinding light which rendered you motionless.
Remember those memories again and again. Don't you ever dare forget any little details. No matter how much time passes, always remember.
Never forget.
Suddenly, you feel something cracking. And for the first time in what feels like forever, you can see the light. Your eyes widened when you see trees surrounding you. Not only that but the stone that seemed to cover your body begin to crumble. Little by little, you are gaining back your motility, and you have never felt so refreshed.
When you are finally free, you stood with shaking legs while scanning the area. Where are you? Are you still in Japan? How many years have passed?
Then, something hits you. Where is your daughter? Oh my god! Where is she? She couldn't be separated from you right? You have held her tightly when you saw that light. Panic and worry surged through you and you were about to set out and find her when you heard a familiar song.
Snapping your attention to where the noise came from, you realized that it was the lullaby you have always sang to your daughter, Xenka. Your feet had already started moving before you can register anything.
Alas, there in the middle of the forest, your daughter sat in front of a bonfire, grilling what appeared to be mushrooms. Taken a back, you only stared in shock when Xenka finally looked at you and the widest grin you have ever seen has graced her little face.
"Mama! You're back!"
You can't still wrap around the fact that your one-year-old daughter is facing you right now while talking about what she thought happened. Yes, your lovely Xenka who has not even said her first word before is now talking and had even made her own fire. Plus, she said she has been surviving for a week on her own.
"Sweetie, tell mama what happened when you're still a sto-"
"Mama, the perfect term is petrified! I told you I saw it in the dictionary, right?" your daughter pouted while crossing her chubby arms.
You chuckled. This situation is absurd but what can you expect from Xeno's blood daughter?
"Right, right. I apologize. Xenka-chan what happened to you when you are petrified?"
"I remembered I was really scared, mama! But you hugged me and told me to remember. But, I don't know what you meant so I remembered and studied again the words you taught me. I even memorized the books that I used to play with," she started. Well, what you were trying to say was that she has to remember that you love her. And the books she mentioned were from your roommate who is a researcher in the field of astrophysics and chemistry. You can also remember how Xenka used to scan your biology books.
You are surprised to hear that she basically became a genius over time. But to be honest you are not that surprised. She is Xeno's daughter after all.
A slight pang hit your chest when bitter memories started to fill your mind. As sudden as those memories come, they instantly go away when you feel your daughter sitting on your lap and cuddling you.
"I miss you so much, mama! You didn't hug me back when I awoke!" Her cries echoed through the vast forest and you can't help but to tear up also.
Your biggest fear is the thought that you lost her. Fortunately, your daughter is smart enough to survive on her own even just for a week. You cried with her as relief washed over you.
She must have been so afraid of being alone. And so, you let her wail for hours. It's alright, after all she's still a child. You held her close while whispering words of reassurance that from now on, you won't be separated anymore.
Once the two of you calmed down, Xenka reported that she saw what appears to be a tower when she was scouting the area. And with that, the two of you began your journey. But first, you have to make DIY clothes or else you'll walk in naked if there really is people around.
The stone statues that litter the forest is a little creepy. It reminded you of that village in Japan famous for their stone statues. It took you a day to finally arrive at your destination. That must mean that Xenka has wandered far from where you were depetrified.
To your utter shock, a big ship is what greeted you upon entering the village. What the heck? You feel your daughter squirm in your arms wanting to be set down. You obliged and followed her when she suddenly ran to the direction of the ship.
The nearer you got, the more you see that there are a lot of people gathered around. Hope blooms in your chest as you know now that you and your daughter will survive seeing as they have this kind of resources.
A group of people went down the ship and the villagers seemed to buzz with excitement. I was about to grab Xenka so we can introduce ourselves but to my surprise, she's already in front of a young man with white hair that turns green in the tips. That reminded you of a leek which Xenka hates.
"Eh? Whose kid are you?" the man said while picking on his ear.
You sighed and hurried to walk beside your daughter. Upon seeing you, everyone erupted to loud whispers, questioning your identity. Some people from the ship even took a defensive stance and had their weapons at the ready. You suddenly felt scared and the young man sighed.
"Oi, what the heck are you doing?" He scolded his friends.
"We don't know her. She could be an enemy. Protect the chief. Rules are rules," the tall man with glasses replied.
"I am ten billion percent sure that she's not. If I deduce it correctly, you have been depetrified on your own, right?" You nodded and then his eyes trained on the little girl who has already taken a bottle from his bag.
You tried taking it from her but it's too late as she poured it on your left big toe that still remained as stone. The two of you watched in wonder when it cracked and revealed your smooth skin.
You watched as your daughter crossed her index and middle fingers as she mulls over something. This scene is painfully familiar as it is also the same mannerism as her dad's when he's too deep in his work.
Like a light bulb suddenly lit up, the crease on her little brows smoothened.
"I see now. That concoction smells like nitric acid with ethanol. The place where mama and I laid had a cave that gave nitric acid from bats but it is now gone. I thought that it is one of the factors for depetrification. However, you have more bottles with it that means you have a continuous supply of those two."
Her lengthy explanation has not just amazed me but everyone around the area. Some even had their mouths hanging open.
"What the? How did she know that?"
"But she looks like she isn't even a year old!"
"Woah! That's crazy!"
You can't help but be proud as the villagers scream from disbelief. That's your daughter alright! Even if her intelligence didn't come from you. But she did came from you.
"Kukuku! You're not just an ordinary kid, right? Then answer my next question. We have no source of Nitric Acid as the cave has been destroyed. What mineral will make the production of Nitric acid possible?" He tested her with a smirk in his face.
However, your daughter also showed a similar smirk and faced him on, "Huh, easy! It would be platinum!"
He grinned and outreached his hand to her, "My name is Senku."
You see your daughter's eyes widen and you can see why. Someone who has almost the same name as her and a genius at that too?! Who wouldn't be surprised.
"Senku-niisan, I am Xenka! And that is my mother, Y/n," she introduced while pointing at me, "please let us stay here. I can help you with your work and mama can treat people. She's a nurse!"
The young man, Senku, looked at you and grinned, "Well first, you two need some clothes. Yuzuriha, take care of them,"
-------------------------------------------
It has been a few months now since you joined the Kingdom of Science. You are still at awe at how Sengku managed to build everything from scratch with the help of these young people.
It is also crazy how your daughter fits in the science team so easily. The gaps in her knowledge is easily supplied by Senku and the two grew even more closer. She really views him as her older brother. At this point, the two are inseparable. They even finish each other's sentences at times.
But the craziest of it all is that, you are now entering San Francisco California in the ship they made. You never thought that you'll go back to where you used to live. However, this is one of Senku's plan to go to the moon and you all need the corn here.
Apparently, they needed you because 1. you are a nurse and 2. you know the geography of the place- well at least from 3700 years ago. Also, your daughter has decided to go so you really had no choice.
It has been a few days since Perseus docked here. A few nights ago, Senku was shot and you have been tending him. Apparently, there's another Kingdom of Science here in America. It surprised the lot of you since they are already advanced in terms of weaponry but you believed that your team can handle it. They already have a plan to take their leader.
And now you are in a quest to find your patient who was out of his bed when you checked a few minutes ago. Little Xenka is even crying because she didn't know where her oniisan went to.
You are also silently fuming because you specifically told him to rest so his sutures won't break. Suddenly, you are being dragged. You were about to fight back (Kohaku taught you basic self-defense) but when you see the dazzling suit of the butler, yoi sighed in relief.
"Where are we going, Francois?" you asked.
"They seized their leader and we are going to escape. Senku still needs you to tend his wounds," upon hearing Senku's name, Xenka immediately stopped crying.
"I hope he's okay," she mutters while you tightened your hold on her.
"Don't worry, sweetie. We'll make sure to scold your oniisan, okay?" You tried cheering her up and it works. You wonder what's gearing up in that little big mind of hers.
The three of you made your way to a smaller boat that looked like a yacht. You guessed that they hijacked it from the enemies. Without wasting a second, you and your daughter roamed from room to room for your leek-y boy.
You and your daughter's annoyance grew the farther you searched and alas, only one cabin remained. You and Xenka looked at each other and nodded. Without further ado, you kicked the door open, startling the two people in the room. However, the two of you are focused on Senku that you didn't even realize a man was standing beside him.
"You brat! What did I say about taking a rest?! If you want to bleed badly you can just say so!" You nagged at him while Xenka pouts and glares at him.
"Xenka is upset oniisan! You said you'll never leave my side!" she said and refrained looking at the boy.
"Y-y/n?"
Suddenly, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water is poured on you. Even thousands of years have passed, you still remember that voice. It's the one that whispered sweet words in your ear at three in the morning but broke you in the end.
"Mama? What's wrong?" You felt two warm hands touch your cheeks but your gaze snapped and remained at the other man in the room.
"Xeno," you breathed.
Suddenly, a burst of memories that you had together appeared on your mind like a broken record. The first day you met, the day he asked you to be his girlfriend, the first time you kissed and made love, and then the last time you have seen each other. You realized you had so many happy memories together but it took less than ten minutes for it to shatter.
"Y/N, I-"
"I don't want to hear it," you said and was about to go out of the room but Xenka squirmed wanting to be out down. You hesitantly obliged.
She went in front of Xeno. The two stared at each other. White hair to white hair. Black eyes to (e/c). Indeed, looking at them like this just enhanced how they look so much alike.
Xenka crossed her middle and index finger which made Xeno surprised. You know he already knows who this child is. You're even sure that Senku must have known this the moment we entered the room or even way before that.
"I see, so you're my father. Based on mama's reactions and how you're not in my life, Xenka's 10 billion percent sure that you never wanted me," her little voice broke and it made your heart clench in hurt.
"Well, if you don't want us, Mama and Xenka don't want you either!!" She screamed and ran out of the room. Without hesitation, you followed the little girl out after glaring at Xeno.
You know that your daughter is hurt right now and she needs you the most. You find her hiding in one of the lower rooms. The sight shattered your heart and you immediately went to crush her in your embrace. This only made her cry more. Even at this young age, she understands what's happening. And for the first time, you wished she's an ordinary one-year-old.
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randomsevans · 4 years ago
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LATE LIES
Part 2
Steve Rogers x reader
Summary:you have recently decoved that your finance captain america is cheating on you. But there again you could be wrong. But what will happen when your not wrong ?. And your not the only one who has cort on to steve shaddy activitys .
AN : my grammar and spelling isn't the best so bare that in mind .
@nomadevans82
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Breakfast was quickly over. No word . No affection. Shown by the man who was ment to love you, the man you are ment to marry , the man you suspect is cheating on you. But maybe your wrong , maybe your brain is just over thinking. This is captain america we are speaking about, man who said your his world , his love , he wouldnt do anything to hurt you , especially in such a way . Would he ?
He wouldnt or so you thought/knew.
'God why cant I think straight ' you mind was racing around and around , question after question , excuse after excuse for him .
Maybe your just overreacting, I mean my spy training doesn't mean I have to be right every time . Nobody else has notice his behalf? Right .but you have and you know him better then anyone . Or so you should. But your not the only one whose notice a change . Nat did , she look like she was about to skin him alive with her butter knife at the breakfast.
You mind racing , your fist rapidly punching the bag , never stop . The training room had blurred form your vision along with everyone in it . You can feel you blood boiling , tight knots in your stomach as you think about steve with sharon . Your temper going just above busting point . You didnt notice you went breathing. You didnt notice your eyes glowing, you didnt notice the punching bag flying off , with a swerling yellow sting glow around it . You just stare at it , forgetting all the people . Nobody would notice anyway , it's not unusual for this to happen , but what is , is the power running through your veins . The very thing , nobody knows, the thing you hide , the thing you run away from , thing you dont want people to know about you , hell you dont even know what it is exactly. You spend all you time hiding it . The minority of the time you cant feel it running though , you normally have hold over it . But when your emotions get to extreme (more like things you dont experience often ) such as a need to cry, or your anger , anxiety. It slips out and your cant control it. And it doesn't help you are feeling all these right now.
You final brought back form your blurred vision with a hand on your shoulder. If it was anyone else you'd push them off , but not this person. Youd no them any way . Ever since it first comforted you when you just a child, in place no child should be , in a situation no child should be , expecting things no child should ever .
You slowing turn your face toward him . Bucky .or james as you knew him as a child . Hes your comfort , the closest thing you got to w father in the red room . This you keep a secret form everyone else , no one apart from nat knows that you were in the red room with her and as she was training and falling in love with james . He acted as a father to , never letting you get near the same amount punishment as the other girls. So when you found he was still alive , when you found he was becoming sane minded again you couldn't be happy. You weirdly felt safe the world again . After you were told just after he managed for you to escape that the red room had killed him .
You have alot of secrets such as people dont know about the fact that the red room trained you , Bucky trained you , or the fact that you two have a father and daughter relationship . Nobody knows not even Steve, to everyone else sheild trained you, you were a good field agent and was giving the opportunity to become an averager under the request of Nat .But at least two people know them nat and buck , they raised you basically, they know you , they know your history. But theres one secret that nat doesn't even know, only james . And that's about your mutation. James found out about it the same time you did .
You were 11 years old , training with james in a dark cold room . The constenced shouting in russian and girls crying was getting to your head missing punishing and kicks , you head was fuzzy, everything was become to quick , to fast . You couldn't handle it , although you go thought it every day . You final get a burst of energy and it shoots thought your veins and bones , the bright yellow light swerling around, pushing James into the wall . He knew what it was , he had heard of mutation before and what happens when the red room find a girl who has one , they either dont last very long or are put into different facilities. He protected you , help you hide it . Still does today .
So when you turned around , you saw the panic on his face, he knew what had happend , he was the only person in the room that saw as always. And he knew something was wrong because you knew let it get the better of . He automatically pulled you into a hug hiding your face from the rest of the world in his chest . It would be so easy to cry , so easy. If you wernt so anger you were shacking .
"Your okay " "your safe " "I got you " " you can calm down " he constantly whispers until you did as you were told and calmed down . You glance up till you met his glaze . His eyes was swerling with fear and empathy for you . "Now you gonna tell me what's got you all worked up ?"he asked pulling the hair out of your face . You just shake you head negatively, he nodded in return , knowing you was going to answer him anytime soon .
"I might have an idea " nats voice stalled you . 'Did she see ?' You become anxious again you dont want anyone to know about you mutions .
"You've go quite the rage and strength, and rightfully to " at this you know she must think you just punched the bag down .
"What do you mean ? What happend ? Do u know what's wrong? NAT tell me ! " buck quietly shouted concerned, pulling away form you , facing nat with his armes crossed .
"Calm down papa wolf , I dont think nows the time , let's calm her down and get a drink in her first , I know she needs it " she glanced at you sympathetically, she knows about sharon and Steve.
"What ! Nat Its 11am the mo...." bucky was cut off by the annocument above.
"Party tonight people. Main floor see you there tonight. Peace out , Iron man ! " Tony said though the speakers .
"Great !" You said walking out of the training room , towards your room , knowing you'll stay there u till the party.
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Hours had passed and you haven't seen anyone all day , steve didnt come to check up on you like he normal did , you asked friday what he was doing every hour and your were denied access.
You and Nat hadn't spoke about what was playing on your mind , you just spent your day with a few early drinks and tv . It got to the time where it was time to get ready .you sat in that's room with a dress she picked out for you lying on her bed . You sat at the mirror finishing your simple make up nothing to extreme hust enough to add to your natural beauty.
You heard the bathroom door open , you turned to see that Nat was almost ready
"Come on kid , I know parties ain't really our thing but at least they'll be vodka "she joked .
"Thank god " you rolled your eyes and got up picking up your dress and heading towards the bathroom. You were just about to close the door when Nat sighed
"Y/n you .... I..... do you see what i see " she ask clearly neverous .
"About ?" You tried to act clueless but you knew what she was about to say
"About steve "
"..... " you stay silent for a while " can we not.. not right now .. we both could be wronge his the man I'm marrying, the man I love .... i dont want to think about it .... I... we might be wronge "
She scoffed at the thought but she nodded her head . And in you went into the bathroom to finish getting ready .
When you emerged out of the bathroom in your dark blue silk dress that hugged and was lose in all the right placed . With your hair curled and pinned half up and half down .
"Oh my .... you look gorgeous " Nat said with wide eyes . You felt it too as much as you ddint want to go to this party you felt great in this dress almost forgetting everything
"You look stunning as always " Nat just shrugged it off and grab your hand while heading our her door .
When you got into the hallway you and nat both stopped in your tracks.
"There you are ... iv been looking for you ... Tony and his parties eh " Steve laugh making you laugh too . This man put you into a trance everytime you saw him , he was in a dark blue shirt similar to your dress (not on purpose) . He looked as good as ever , you sighed with the biggest smile thinking this man is going to be your for ever soon . But then the voice started to creep back into your head ,instantly your small dropped to a frown
Steve took a step closer to you and kissed you on the check you let out a breath that you didnt know you was holding all day ,
'See everything normal we were just over reacting '
He smiled down at you "you look good " he said but he didnt even look at you the way be usual would , he didnt say what he usal would , it would be more then just good ...
"Good ? She looks stunning " Nat blurted out , you could tell she was staring at him like he was the target .
He just wrapped an arm losly around you , not tight like he normal would, he once said it was to keep you by his side and let everyone know your his . But not now . You felt so stuiped being in his arms .
"Let's go shall we "
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You had been at the party for not that long Steve was by your side laughing and joking with everyone around the group . Nat , Bucky and Tony all laughing and joking
Everyone would feel fine if it wasnt for Steve's eyes keep wondering off
You sighed , chucking down your drunk , thinking your the only one that noticed but you forget that you were next to the best assassins you have ever know .
"Hi everyone "
"Oh hi sharon " Tony said
Your eyes snapped to her stunned , everyone eyes fell on her as you all stood at the bar in a circle she had managed to get her way inbetween Tony and steve
" you look stunning " steve said looking her up and down with a smirk , your heart dropped
"You get good and she gets stunning!"
"Thank you " sharon whisper trying not to star at steve but failing as there both keep sharing glances at each other, as a blush creeped on her check .
The music was the only thing filling the silence for a while as Tony sipped on his drink clueless . With steve and Sharom basically eye fucking each other while unknowly to you two very very anger killing mansions were ready to be Roger's down . You just stood there tears threating to make an appearance.
"I'm... I'm just going to pop to the.. " you couldn't finish your sentence already making your way down the hall .
Nobody looked at you are asked if you were okay .
You made your way blindly down corridors in all different directions you didnt know where you ended up, all you knew was you were far way you didnt hear the music and you were safe alone . You let out a quiet sob that lead to a few tears escaping your tear duck as you fought them off . Ignoring the stinging feeling with the tight chest and pit in your stomach .
Some one pulled you into there arms you you could see was a few red strains of hair
"Sshhhhh "
"I dont know why I'm like this.... I might be wronge " you choked out
Nat just gave you a look like 'when are we ever wronge "
"Come lets go back " was all she said you nodded .
She rubbed your back as you made your way through the corridors . Before you turned a corner you heard a quiet bang followed by laughter and giggles . You and Nat quietly laught and slowly made your way to the corner.
You stopped dead in your tracks with nat behind you . You were barely visible as you were still hidden around the corner .you quickly took a step back , pushing Nat backwards , she looked confused but you both listen carefully.
All you could hear was short breaths with giggles and growls
"Stop that "you heard a high pitched giggle
"Hell no ! I wanted to get my hands on you all night "
"You would be able to if you didnt have her ..."
"Soon " The deep voice cut her off "soon I'll be all your okay "
Your heart drop you could help the tears roll down your cheek. As you saw and hear Steve with sharon , it hit you hard , it all become reality and you couldn't take it . Nat griped you tightly clearly trying to calm her anger .
There voice went away and nat looked around the corner
"There gone ..I'm going to kill him " she snapped
You sobs became louder and louder your whole body was shaking
"Why ? Why ? Why ? He said he loved me , said I was his world , I'm meant to be his wife soon why ? What did he mean by soon ? Was he going to leave you?
Your body was shaking as nat stepped back , unknowly to you everything around you was shaking to . You vision blur and lost all connection to world around you and your heart was literally tearing into piece making the unwanted power over come you .
"Uh no nooo no " was all you hear and Bucky ran his way towards you
"Calm down it okay " bucky slowly came near you as the shaking stopped. He quickly wrapped you in his arms
"Calm down !"
There was silence that felt like forever Nat with her anger towards Roger's and shocked by you . While Bucky was staying calm for you
"You going to tell me ? " he asked slowly.
You shook your head no
There both sighed
"Fine I will!" Nat snapped
"No .. no please dont" you begged.
"What ? What is it ? "Bucky asked getting impatient
"No .. don't say it...its not real until you say it " you hiccup on everyone word
"Please " you begged one last time
"Just tell me god damn it "
"Roger's is cheating with carter "nat barked over youf sobs
"What !"
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ephemeralgalaxies · 3 years ago
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Loki Ep4 Spoilers below (once more bc I just can't help myself, can I?)
It's been a while since I've had a character as interesting as Mobius to analyze and I have no chill. Spoilers start below:
Also some spoilers for WandaVision but it's been months so hopefully y'all have seen it
TL;DR Mobius really trying to connect back with Loki in order to try and bring the TVA down (and also bc "oops, Loki was right, guess I gotta own up to that bitterness") and it works but it hurts so much. Also see: I can't stop watching this scene over and over trying to understand Mobius' subtle actions bc his reaction here is so different than in all other scenes where he's usually calm or trying to delve deep into Loki's mind for information. Now he's just desperate.
Ok so I know I made a post talking about Mobius' jealousy in that interrogation scene but I also want to touch on when he comes back again after seeing the footage from C-20's interrogation scene bc man is so desperate here and I'm crying
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(I'm sorry, I can't get gifs to work for me today so we just using images. But I got these from this post)
Mobius was so hurt last time we saw him, Loki being thrown back into the time cell with Lady Sif, hitting our dear agent with "out of all the liars in this place... you are the biggest... for the [lies] you tell yourself." Mobius has been pushing down all these doubts, hiding all his questions and curiosities of the TVA for a while. He's teased Ravonna, but could never really get anywhere. Then after speaking with Loki about Sylvie, about "you're all variants", Hunter B-15's suspicions, the oddness of C-20's "death" (M:"she was just fine before." R:"well, then she suddenly wasn't fine."). Mobius is finally allowing himself to realize things, to question truly what is going on. (R: "Is that what you wanted to hear?" M: "Yeah, if that's the truth." R: "You've been around Lokis too long.")
In this scene, when he comes back to the time cell for Loki, he's frustrated, he's angry, he's desperate. Everything is a lie. He can't pretend anymore. Loki has bonded with Sylvie (actually caring for another human being without the trauma of Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok) ((I'm begging you, pls let him see a variant of Thor in this series and get to bond again, I miss them)). C-20 is likely pruned and gone forever with no answers. B-15 is getting anxious and unfocused. Ravonna is snapping at him and manipulating him with those long speeches (please, Mobius has heard enough from Loki's videos to know when he's being manipulated by fake sentimental words). He's tired, no longer patient enough for all the little quips-- he just need answers. For once in his "life" at the TVA, he just wants the truth. Something to safely hold to.
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He's just put Loki through this timeloop of Lady Sif, of someone from home someone that could've been close to him under different circumstances, someone his brother cared about, kicking him/slapping him/ berating him with "you deserve to be alone, and you always will be." Loki's whole "Sacred Timeline Life" marks him to "always be alone", to finally get close to people before being torn away (whether in his own volition or by someone/something else). But with Loki caring for Sylvie, maybe even loving her, this changes everything for this Loki. He could finally care enough to save someone, to go out of his way in order to help others at his own cost. And Mobius knows this.
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He asks again, desperate, pleading, hoping. Loki has to believe in himself, has to love himself enough to think to believe that he deserves a family, love, security from his greatest fear. He has to have changed because if not, then he'll either get pruned or wind up just like Mobius. Either way, gone from existence-- life erased, precious memories of "what if", "what once was", obliterated. He has to believe, or it'll happen again and again and again. To everyone, to the whole universe, unless something someone could do the impossible and shatter all reality.
With Wanda (specifically in WandaVision, final episode end credits), with her searching for her children and Vision, attempting the impossible and blending her realities in order to give them life because she needs them, she loves them. (M: "If you really care about [Sylvie]..."). This threat to the Sacred Timeline, pushing closer and closer to the MCU Multiverse, because they have to, because they want to.
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(sorry again for bland picture, I love his expression in this gif but it wont load)
Mobius knows Loki is hurting-- from Lady Sif, from his past, from failing to protect Sylvie on his own, from Mobius not believing him and calling him "just a bad friend". He knows Loki could learn to believe, but he doesn't yet. Only Frigga ever told him she believed in him, he needs to hear it again. He needs to know he deserves love because he is loved. Mobius does, "believe, stupidly" (ep2) that Loki has this potential.
When I first saw this scene in the trailers, I was nervous it would be in the context of Mobius trying to get Loki on the TVA's side, "someone good". But here, this is so much better-- he knows the TVA is lying, is manipulating, is destroying lives. (L: "No one bad is every truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good" ep2 again lol). Loki knows he's not "truly good", that he's hurt people-- whether he planned to or not. But he can still be good. He can still choose to love, to care, to believe.
He can be what he's always wanted, what Frigga promised him, what he's always feared. He can be known, be loved, be safe-- Loki doesn't just fear being alone, he fears people choosing to leave him. That's why the memory of Lady Sif instead of Thor reaching for him on the Rainbow Bridge or Thanos threatening the Asgardian refugees or even Odin trying to explain why he "saved" Loki when he fought Loki's homeland. This memory was casual, simple, unnecessary. But it's always the smallest moments that truly impact us the most-- the slight changes.
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When Mobius says this to Loki, he freezes-- he's confused, hesitant, scared. No one tells him this, why is someone telling him this, how can I believe this?
And then:
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.And the little shrug Mobius gives here
It's so casual, so simple, so nonchalant. He just wants to reassure Loki that he still cares. He just spent a whole interrogation hounding on Loki for finding love with Sylvie, for changing with her (jealous boi be jealous), for lying to him and betraying him (M: "You don't do partners... unless ofc it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point"). But now, now he's stopped lying to himself. He knows he cares, that Loki has a chance, that they have to burn this place down. Mobius wants stop this from ever happening again, from someone ever having to go through what Loki's gone through, being told they can never be loved because that's just how the Timeline goes. That a kid would be taken away from their family (probably because Sylvie presents feminine?? Idk, feel like MCU Odin wouldn't be so good with that). He has to reassure Loki, he wants to, because no one should ever feel that way again.
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(and frick I really hate this, please look at the gifs from the linked post above, u gotta see his precious smile grow)
LOOK AT THIS SMILE, LOOK AT HIM HE'S HAPPY. And it was such a small, subtle apology from Mobius but it made all the difference bc he told Loki that he believes in him. And then they walk back out of the time cell, side-by-side, looking at each other. Content, safe, prepared to face the world together. He's no longer alone.
... And then ofc this happens...
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*cue my heart shattering* (bless Hiddleston's acting).
The fact that you can even hear the hitch in Mobius' breath as he realizes this is the end of the line for him, that Ravonna knows and there's no going back--he's not making it out of this.
"One last desperate trick from the desperate trickster."
He talks about the jetski, about what his life might have been, he knows this hits Loki, being ripped from your timeline, losing all that potential. More importantly, it gives Loki a reason to fight. A silent, "Don't let this happen again. Don't let them get away with this. Please, remember me, don't let me disappear." But it doesn't work, because the one thing Mobius didn't account for, is that Loki cares about him. That now, the fight drains out of him. They pruned Mobius, ofc they'll get to Loki and Sylvie. They didn't even hesitate. Loki just lost, once again, the only other person who ever told him they believed in him. "You can be whoever, whatever..." "She told me I could do anything..."
Loki is less of a narcissist and more of a person desperate to fill that hole inside-- he's been neglected, cast aside, told he should want this and then never getting it. A "Glorious Purpose" to always hide in the shadows, to cause suffering, to give others a reason to unite against him. But for once, just once he hoped that he didn't have to do it alone-- that he could unite. And then they crushed those beautiful few seconds of hope like it was just another tedious, burdening purpose of the TVA.
(credits of images/gifs to the original posts linked, none were mine as I can't figure this out at all lol)
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