#big deal here and big deal that a woman and a lesbian won with the most votes in the history of the competition

[captain-gillian]

with good luck babe by chappell roan taking out number 1 at the hottest 100 im declaring 2025 the year of the lesbian let’s go lesbians

[diariesof-kg]

Silence.

2024_30_11

I have become silent at this time. I called my best friend and said, I don't know what's wrong with me. Has the depression won or am I in a indefinite silent space. I think the beach incident kind of made me be a mute forever. It's the oddest feeling to not really be overthinking or not really have any thoughts. No anxiety exists, simply nothing.

I think that the conversation went well at the beach, until it turned onto me. "Let me see your phone...see this is telling..." replays in the back of mind. I had a dream that my partner was texting behind my back again. I did ask her to pull up exactly information that related to Colorado. But it backfired. I thought she was providing reassurance, but initially, she felt some type of way. I understand that she felt some way, but also, this dream is rooted in my subconscious that obviously has not settled. The sad part about is, her flipping it around saying I'd feel some way, but she has gone through my phone several times, but moving forward I am not handing my phone over anymore. She texted her ex fwb person and I never asked to be in her phone, never asked to go through it, even though I was hurting and gone through trust issues privately that my friends didn't even know about. But want to mention, two small lies and what it does to a person. Want to tell me "I wouldn't have reacted that way..." after finding out they been texting their ex behind my back. I will never mention my dreams again. I don't like it when I rarely share my feelings about anything and when I do, it's like not a big deal or I am overreacting. I only asked once out of this relationship and it's flipped. Who knows what you and your child's father talked about back then since he never knew you were in a relationship to begin with.

The whole bisexual conversation is -- to keep it short. The hiding and making excuses and telling me it's not anyone's business to know you in a relationship and posting pictures, but posting as friends is the reason I'd never do it again. Like you've been straight majority of your life whether you felt or knew you liked the same sex that's the life you chose. Any lesbian would be sideeyeing someone who never dated a woman before and could you blame them? No. Ive dealt with bisexual twice and it's not for me. It feels very secretive and I am a lesbian and been my whole life. Can't be affectionate, because a child doesn't know. It's a lot.

I feel like I am viewed as a enemy. I have been feeling low and a couple weeks ago, I decided to join a bunch of groups and read and now start toe engage and get advice at which a lot of it to others may seem like negative self talk but also positive as well. It has helped. I told my partner one night at which she decided to chime in and tell me that I do be lying and called me out about what my coworker said. Not sure if the details were laid out on my other entry, but I was okay, until my conscious realized that, once again she don't got my back as a partner. To be excited to chime in as I am down, says a lot. Then asked me, "Do you know what you lied about?" you have to understand how phrased the question is. I am not a child. Instead of telling me, you asking me as if -- you are about to catch me. Once the information came out, it hurt to know what, she didn't have my back. She said she was confused, but instead of coming to me at any point and saying I was confused about what my coworker had said, you pointed your finger and called me a liar. Things like that hurt my feelings. Not having my back. But I guess that's why I am hyper independent.

The beach incident besides the small bits that irritated me. Just as last time I needed a moment and wasn't given it, here it is happening again. The midst of the conversations, I was caught off a lot, as soon as I explained the Lesbians reason, there was another question after another. Which made me realize that she doesn't really listen at all. Driving home, I said drop me off at my house she refused. I asked several times until I said I will get out at the next light, but then still refused. I needed to walk and gather my thoughts. You are asking to see my phone over and over again and I am trying to not bring up the candy cane situation but rather have a reasonable statement. Then proceeded to tell me that she thought I was joking. You can't be serious? I repeated it several times. I wasn't smiling anymore at some point.

I want to scream, WHY DO PEOPLE NOT LISTEN OR UNDERSTAND ME!!

I don't know why things bother me. But telling me that you wouldn't have an issue if I was talking to an ex, but told me to cut off everyone. I be really confused. But at some point was upset I told her to cut off candy cane, but I also told her if she needed to be friends with her, I'd understand but I'd remove myself. Every time there are deep conversations it feels like we are enemies, not partners trying to hear one side. Especially the bisexual conversation, like if you engaged yourself in these groups you'd see what I am saying. No one is attacking the BI group, but majority live a hetero lifestyle and use women when they feel like it. No one is jealous, when lesbians have to struggle to ask for equal rights with marriage and adopting and having children. BI women literally can be open with a man but hide a women's relationship and when it ends go back to a man publicly and act as if they never dated a women. The struggles lesbian go through has been decades, this is our lives, we aren't jealous, cuz bi's have two options, we damn near fighting for equality. The list can go on...

I love my partner so much. I really do. But I feel like there is such an imbalance on how we see things and a huge lack of understanding. I can listen, be accountable and apologize, whereas she will not. I feel like sometimes I am being manipulated because the story never stays the same. You can ask me and my story will always be the same. The reason she didn't want to tell him keeps changing. He knew about you, and in my head I am like no he didn't. She posted us in Feb. 2023 and went to Daygo March 2023 and he was ranting and yelling about some shit. Then he thought you liked some other dude, but did you tell him, no. It's for your safety. Like, cut it out. I could go on and on...

I think I'll open more once I feel like accountability is there. When I feel like it's safe.

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[queerchoicesblog]

Ghost of You (SC Titanic, Zetta x Adele)

So this is my very first SC Titanic fanfic: I am excited to post it and well I suppose I should warn you that probably Zetta x Adele fictions will be rather long as this love story features themes that are very dear and meaningful to me, such as 1. well, obviously the Titanic story, 2. references to beginning of the century cinema (love very old and b&w movies), 3. sapphism and 4. femminism/suffragette movement. It’s basically everything I could have ever asked for. The Gentleman Jack fans out there might find a reference here...

So here I tried to imagine what brought Zetta to write that little note to Adele after basically disappearing. Loved that scene and I had to try and portray her turmoil, her missing Adele but also, as any historical lesbian (maybe not only historical), fearing the strings of society and their effect on their love and her beloved suffragette. Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I quoted some pieces of dialogue from the original book

Word Count: 2555

Zetta x Adele Tag: @marmolady @animus-and-anima @hayley-carter19 @escako @everlastingchoices @andrxrneda @aestheticsayeed @eleanorwaverrley @indescribablechoices @ahrielstuff @lvcley @nazario-sayeed

________________________

Two rapid knocks on the door then:

“Are you there, doll? Can I come in?”

Richard’s voice abruptly brought Zetta’s back to reality, involuntarily making her jump in her seat.  She blinked twice as if wakingg from a dream and took a quick look around. She couldn’t recall how long she had been sitting at her vanity lost in her thoughts with a brush in her hand. She just couldn’t focus that day as she was haunted by memories of the past. But Richard didn’t have to know, mustn’t have to know. She put down the brush and quickly fixed her hair before adjusting her robe to limit the skin exposure to the minimum: after all, they weren’t married yet…and her heart didn’t belong to Mr. King. Only after that, she answered loud enough to be heard on the other side of the ebony door:

“Sure, darling”

She resumed her interrupted makeup session, pretending to be fully taken by that routine that didn’t bring her the usual joy anymore. She looked at herself in the mirror and put on a practiced smile: it would have been enough to fool her fiancé.

Richard entered her boudoir and theatrically opened his arms as a seasoned professional: he mentioned that he started as an actor before becoming a stellar director.

“My love, every time I see you I’m completely blinded by your beauty. You’re the brightest star in the sky, even brighter than Venus itself” he said moving closer and kneeling beside her chair.

“…And you’re gonna be the most radiant woman at the party tonight. The belle of the ball, la plus belle” he added, courtly taking her free hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles.

He looked up at her with a dashing smile.

“Trés charmant, Richard…but are you done with poetry?” she smirked, retrieving her hand and resuming her previous core.

“Ah, la belle dame sans merci!” Richard exclaimed before falling back to the floor holding a hand on his chest.

“Silly” Zetta laughed and she was soon joined by Richard who stood again and leaned on her table.

“I can’t help it around you, doll, apologies” he shrugged, flashing her another smile.

Zetta had to summon all her acting expertise not to cringe at “doll”. She hated it when every fiber of her being when Richard -or any other men- called her “doll”. Even her first director called her so, even her husband…doll, as if that was all she was to them: a beautiful toy, maybe a collectible but not truly a woman. Not truly Zetta.

Instead, she mirrored his smile and threw him a quick look before methodically applying some rouge on her cheek.

“So, what are you dying to say that can’t wait?”

“Seeing you isn’t a reasonable excuse?”

Richard was a charming man, without doubt. He wasn’t a bad man or so it seemed to her but she had been deceived by men who swore to only want the best for her that it was hardly possible for Zetta to fully trust any of them. And a man could have never won her heart.

As she flashed him just one of her enigmatic smile, he spoke again:

“Fine, you got me: I just wanted to see you and to remind you that our producers are expecting us at Rao’s for dinner in an hour. We should leave soon” he gave an apologetic smile and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Will we be there in time?”

“We will, I promise you” Zetta confirmed then made a show of shooing him away. “Now shoo, call Sabine and let me get dressed or else we will be late”

Richard raised his arms in surrender, laughing. Then he pressed a kiss on the crown of her head.

“I’ll get off of your hair, doll”

Zetta resumed her makeup as Richard moved towards the door. He was halfway out when

“Oh I almost forgot! I spoke to Alan yesterday and he loved the movie: the story of the two sisters reunited in the midst of chaos on the sinking ship is just perfect, so heart-warming-“

“Yes, it truly is heart-warming” Zetta commented, losing focus again.

“The story is real, right? You met at least one of them on board, didn’t you?”

Zetta’s voice lowered as memories started surfacing back.

“Yes, we were…rather close”

“If they survived, we should track them down and invite them at the movie: it would be great if they could talk to the press. Journalists love stories like this: I can see the headlines alrea-“

“We’ll see, Richard. Now please go call Sabine”

She tried to keep her voice from betraying her feelings, but she could feel a rush of anger surging. She would have never handed the Carrem sisters and such a private and tragic moment of their lives to those shameless sharks who go under the name of journalists. The subtle hint of heartbreak and they prey the unfortunate victims like vultures over a corpse: they wouldn’t stop until they had dissected those aching hearts, leaving them to bleed out. No, she would have done everything in her power to prevent this.

The story she wrote down when asked to bring the grim fate of the Titanic on the big screen was fiction: inspired by true facts but fiction. Zetta was smart enough to know that life and fiction are two separate things and that an edulcorated tale of those most tragic hours was all the world could take: the people of New York, who weren’t there that night, would have been overwhelmed by the real story.

Still, when she sat at her desk and started writing a draft of the script her mind immediately turned to…Adele.

She didn’t even notice Richard leaving the room as the silhouette of Miss Carrem clouded her thoughts. Finally alone, her face fell and she shut her eyes as if to prevent the memory from fading away.

Adele, most gracious, fearless Adele…

Her lips curled into a sad smile as she reminisced their first meeting. She was sitting in her suite smoking and listening to James making some pointless speech when the door opened and Teo stepped in followed by Adele. She had the beauty of a Greek goddess and the look of someone who was going through a lot. She clearly felt out of place among finely dressed first-class passengers in the lavish room but she kept her head high. Zetta remembered feeling the urge to know what troubled her but she put on her mask, the sardonic film star ever out of reach. And then…was it a brave move or just an insane one? Adele told her of her arrest, of prison. Everyone else would have hidden from her, a new employer and Zetta Serda…not Adele. She handed her everything she needed to destroy her life as if it was no big deal. Zetta was taken aback and searched her green eyes for any sign of mockery but find none: the stranger girl truly trusted her with her life. That’s when she realized how unique Miss Carrem was.

Adele found a way to her heart effortlessly as if she had the map from the very start. When she placed her hand over hers in the projection room, she startled Zetta: whenever she had made the fatal mistake to show her vulnerable side to anyone, they would have used it against her to make her feel weak or small…clearly in need of someone who would tell her what to do, to guide her. They would have refilled her glass with wine again and again instead of going for the simplest gesture: taking her hand into theirs and comfort her. Making her believe with that touch that everything would have been fine, and she was stronger than whatever life threw her.

For a moment, as Adele held her hand, she felt safe, pacified, something she had never experienced with any of her supposed lovers. She couldn’t even be mad at her secretary when she revealed her James’ plan and the true reason behind his bailing her out of jail. She was shocked, obviously but she also couldn’t believe that Adele, brave foolish Adele, had put her life into her hands again. “I’m perfectly aware of the risk I’m taking by revealing this to you but you deserve to know. I cannot keep this from you” she said, looking her right in the eye.

Those eyes…they took Zetta’s breath away whenever they ignited with the fire sparking inside her. She could have lost herself in their green depths when they gleamed with pride and mischief as she proposed a toast to the vote to women or whenever their eyes met. She got lost in them when their lips touched, and they grew dark with desire. How daring and foolish they had been in the Turkish baths…but she couldn’t bring herself to regret that moment of ecstasy when she felt free and truly loved, for once. She could still shiver remembering Adele’s touch, the way her lips traced down her body with reverence and adoration, the soft moans the tender girl in her arms suffocated hiding her face in the crook of her neck as she melted under her caresses. In those stolen embraces she knew happiness.

How happy she felt whenever Adele was around: just exchanging a brief look across the room would make her heart flutter.

Then other memories surged and Zetta felt tears welling her closed eyes. Her birthday night, that cursed birthday night…Adele and her sneaking away from the party to find a private spot on the deck. The wine, the cold breeze of the ocean, Adele’s silvery laughter at her tipsy enthusiasm, how she craved those sweet lips all night.

“If I’m honest, I don’t even want to reach shore, I don’t want to go back to the party…I just want to stay out here with you. Forever.”

Adele’s tender smile in agreement.

“Let’s just make a tent of this blanket – we can live off seal meat and rainwater”

Her tipsy proposal made the two of them laugh again.

“What about your acting career?” Adele inquired, a smile lingering on her face.

“We’ll make our own plays. Whaddya say?”

God, how those words sounded different now…how she would have given everything to have Adele there to cup her face and give her a slow, deep kiss. But Adele wasn’t by her side anymore…she lost sight of her when her agent and Richard dragged her and James away from the crowd at the New York pier.

She hadn’t written her ever since that day and she felt so impossibly guilty because of that: Adele must have thought she had forgotten about her after all her words of love on the ship. Maybe she felt used, maybe she hated her by now and cursed the memory of her. She would have reasons to hold a grudge to her…the truth was that happiness and love are hard to accept if you have never truly had them before and if they came from a woman loving another woman.

Zetta had tried to write her a thousand time but every time she had made an effort to put her feelings into words, her lines rang hollow. Yet the words that got stuck in her throat when Adele pulled her into a corner and confessed that no matter what happened that night she needed to tell that she loved her were clear in her mind.

The months spent parted from you are the saddest time of my life. I’m haunted by you, the ghost of you. You’re everywhere: even if I’m silent, not an hour passed where I haven’t thought of you. I tried not to, but whenever I closed my eyes, there you were. I love you and I can’t live without you, without your smile, your wit, your touch. I just can’t but how can I ask you to be with me in the dark? I can’t step back from this wedding and I don’t want you to be a secret mistress: that would squalid and offensive when you are the one I want to give all of me. To marry, if that was even a possibility for us so that I could spend every single day of my life with you, waking up with you by my side, taking care of you…making you happy. Your absence makes even breathing hard, not to mention smiling to strangers, “capitalist pigs” as you would say…I even try and talk like you do, you see? But I find myself wondering: will I make you happy if I have to hide our love from the world? Kiss you only behind closed doors? Let you see me marry a man? You’re a free spirit, my love, I don’t want to put you in a cage because our love, our pure love would be a scandal and a scandal would ruin everything I worked for since I was even younger than you. I don’t want you to spend your life as a ghost yet I find myself craving to see your face one more time as living without you is barely surviving but all the light has gone as I lost you.

Suddenly she felt someone placing their hands on her shoulders.

“Let me help you here, Madame”

She opened her eyes and saw Sabine, smiling sympathetically down at her. She tried and failed to mirror her smile as her mascara was now running down her cheeks.

Sabine helped her to her feet and took care of everything. Zetta let her washed up her face and helped her into her shiny evening dress: she felt like a child in the hands of a loving mother. When she was putting on her earrings, the final touch, Sabine handed her a small stack of envelopes.

“The invitations to the movie screening and party” she explained. “It’s October first, I would suggest to send them first thing tomorrow to ensure that everyone get the invitation within reasonable notice. It wasn’t easy to find all the addresses, but I did my best”

“I’m sure you did, Sabine. Thank you for taking care of it.” Zetta said as she checked the succession of familiar names of former passengers and famous colleagues. “I will sign them personally when we come back from the party”.

“Excellent” Sabine nodded.

Then as Zetta placed the stack on her desk, she presented her a single envelope.

“I hope you don’t mind if I requested a faster delivery for this one” she added before bowing her head curtly and leaving the room. “Have a nice evening, Madame”

Zetta read the name handwritten on the last envelope where a different stamp had been appointed.

‘Mademoiselle Adele Carrem’

A lump formed in her throat but she forced herself not to cry and just smile, mentally thanking Sabine: she had found her. Following nothing else but her instinct, Zetta picked out the invitation and signed it with her fountain pen. Then, as Richard called her name, she grabbed a slip of paper and wrote a brief note:

“Please come, my love. I must see you again. Yours, Zetta”.

She folded everything back into the envelope and finally left her room as a newfound hope kindled inside her.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Jealous (ITA Special)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 2 Bonus Episode

Warnings: none.

Word Count: Jealous Loki was requested by anon. I don’t know who you are but let me tell you this. I practically wrote this with all my senses closed. Tight. Shut. Just wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and still kept writing even after I felt I was pretty tired. Don’t know what came over me. It just came out and spread all over here by the mere thought of not writing

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The halls tonight were barely lit but Loki could see why there wasn't much need for the lights in here. The people present in Tony Stark's gala were enough to set the entire estate ablaze. No. Wait. Scratch that. Tony Stark alone was enough to set the Avenger's facility ablaze. The rest of the crowd? The rest of the crowd was just a bonus, adding twinkle effects to the star that was grabbing everyone's attention.

But as it went without saying, Loki himself was grabbing a lot of eyeballs, stares following the man who was looking dapper as the most delicious sin that ever walked in a human form on earth. Both men and women could not keep their eyes off this perfection surpassing Greek Gods- the ones that were supposed to be the epitome of perfection. A lady was even heard cursing 'oh fuck me' out loud as he passed her with a knowing smirk on his face, clearly making her suffer breathlessness for the next few minutes.

The music was quite well for his taste. Loki had to admit, if anyone knew how to party, it was Stark. No one made the best of entertainment like this man.

"Oh come on!" He heard a familiar voice gasp in his direction from the bar. "You really don't want me to win any bet against you, do you?"

Loki watched Scott reflect despair on his face as he gestured at the God with utter disappointment. "You were supposed to put in minimal effort, man. Do you understand what minimal even means? Standing there looking all hot and sexy. Making straight men and lesbians question their sexuality!"

Javier stood next to Scott, taking Loki's entirety frame by frame from head to toe with his camera. Peter, who was watching all of this unfold while eating deconstructed spring rolls, leaned in to whisper to Javier to 'keep today's recording in a safe. You have no idea how much some people would pay just to watch him in a suit.'

"I just put the first thing I got my hands on, Scott," Loki stated, leaning over the bar and gesturing the bartender for a drink that neither Scott nor Peter understood, "not my fault if I am devilishly handsome by default."

"Yeah well the devil's not helping right now when I have placed my bet against you."

Loki smirked his smirk, making the guy behind the bar nearly tip the glass off the edge before hurriedly stopping it from falling. Peter looked into Javier's camera to mouth 'wow' before turning back to Loki and Scott.

"How nice of you to show so much confidence in Y/N, Scott."

Scott jumped at Natasha's voice coming from right behind him, turning to find the assassin dressed in a red gown that hugged her curves with the will of a fish trying to survive on land in a small pond. She herself was catching quite the looks- making a lot of ladies wonder whether what they were feeling was envy or just pure excitement between their legs.

"Of course, Scott," Loki added to Nat's sarcastic statement earlier, taking a sip of whatever mysterious sweet intoxication he had ordered, "give Y/N some credit to wager she could look better than this."

"Okay," Nat interrupted him with narrowed eyes, "you better stop being so smug, Loki, and start thinking about what would happen she kicked your ass."

"Really?" Loki and Scott asked in unison. The latter got Nat's elbow in his gut.

"She's much more powerful than you think, Gourdy," Nat divulged, "you really should give the credit where it's due."

Loki found himself chuckling before his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You really think the woman who was literally dragged out by you and Wanda to go get herself a dress for this ball will actually take the time and effort to look better than a God? It's good to dream, Natasha but only to a limit."

The green eyes looking at Loki did not stir for a single second while multiple gasps came out from the guys surrounding Loki. "See?" he whispered close to Nat, "even these men agree."

Now it was Nat's turn to smirk and tilt her head, her eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and sympathy. She stepped closer to Loki, taking his tie in her fingers and straightening it. "They are not gasping in awe of you, Loki," she whispered slowly, giving the God time to register every syllable, "they are gasping at the audacity of me winning a bet. Once again." She finished him with a wink before letting her eyes go behind him.

Loki, confused and egotistically pinched, turned around to find how exactly Nat won the be-

Oh. Oh!

You stood on the stairs, a sight fit for Valhalla. No. You were too majestic even for Valhalla. The green flowing over your body like a green stream finding its way down your body to fall with the most sophisticated rush. The straps holding your dress went to the back to twirl around a golden ring and come back down by the waist, leaving your back bare. Your hair was loose unlike the rest of the time, framing your face in light and shadow that was catching more than just Loki's heart. On one side, next to your chest were two green stones cut to perfection, glittering with the dim lights and catching everyone that even had you in your field of vision.

Loki stopped short of breathing, letting the beats from Alina Baraz's Pretty Thoughts fill every sensation he felt in those next few moments.

You stepped down the stairs, letting the slit in the dress expose your legs to the light that felt like it existed just so it could shine on them. Your grace when you pulled a strand of your hair behind your ear, exposing the golden earring twisting and dangling down your ears, wanting to touch your shoulders but being denied the pleasure of doing so. Your movement, as you swung your hips when you walked- a sight that was making so many souls stir at the sight in front of them. Too much heat. Somebody crank up the AC!

Someone out there responsible for the tunes seemed to sense the change in the surroundings by your mere presence, turning to the much more sedated and bass-filled version of Can't Take My Eyes Off You, giving the curious eyes a tune to feel their emotions.

Loki, once leaning ever so casually over the bar suddenly had to unconsciously feel the weight on his legs when he watched the smile on your lips painted nude- a shade of transparency- while your eyes glimmered with a playful smoke- a hue of everything that is delightfully shameful. But that was not what hit his heart through his eyes. It was you being stopped short by a man unknown, taking your hand and giving it a light kiss before making you laugh.

Loki felt something inside him twitch. To add to that, every pair of eyes standing next to him- along with that camera- turned to watch him like a bundle of curious hawks.

"Who's that?" Loki tried to sound casual while he took a good swig of his drink.

Nat looked at the man his eyes were pointing to- the one who was bringing you to tears from all the laughing fits he was giving you- and quite reluctantly let her lips leave the straw she was drinking from to speak. "Oh! That's Rhodey's nephew, Matt. He's a wildlife specialist. He removed a species of whales from the endangered list."

Loki, Scott and Peter turned to look at Nat with furrowed brows. Nat raised her fingers before she could hear their thoughts. "No! He did not kill them!"

They could see Matt bringing his hand forward for you as a sign of some formal request.

"Do you think he's asking her for a dance?" Scott whispered over Loki's shoulder.

You were already giving your hand in his, allowing him to walk you to the centre of the room where other couples were dancing.

"Oh my God, they are dancing!" Scott whispered again, catalysing this uneasy feeling rising in Loki's nerves. "Oh my God his hand is on her waist. Oh my God, it's going over her back. Her bare back! Oh m-"

"I can see that, Scott," Loki broke, "I can see all of it, thank you very much."

Scott raised his hands like a white flag, taking a step back as Loki turned around to watch you while the former turned to the camera to mouth his shock.

Loki could see that Scott was right. Matt had his hands on your bare back, holding you close to him, closer than one needs to while dancing- that too in such a formal setting. Clearly, that man did not know the etiquettes of the ballroom. Loki scoffed internally for thinking you would have a better taste in men after your last failed relationship. Right? You could at least show interest in men who knew how to treat their dance partner. Know their footwork, how much to move while you moved, how much to step back as they twirled you and let a mirage of a snake coiling up and over your shoulder with green eyes rest on your right shoulder be created while doing so.

Wait...

What?

Loki was not hallucinating. It really was a snake. When you twirled and let the lights shine on you, your dress created a phantasm of a golden and green snake running up your being. It was incredibly marvellous- partially because of the intricate design and mostly because he knew Thor had told you about his childhood snake stories this week.

And yet whenever you landed back in Matt's arms, something inside Loki seemed to squeeze. His eyes were not ready to leave the stranger's hands on your skin.

"Anyone can save whales. I don't get what's the big deal about it anyway." Loki did not realise those words leaving him. Nat raised her brows at him while Scott and Peter exchanged knowing glances with each other and the camera, Javier smiling like goof behind the lens.

"And isn't he too young?" Loki took another swig of his drink- before making a face at how disgusting it tasted- and turned towards others, trying not to lose your sight in the crowd. "He must be a little one like you, Parker."

"Wow," Peter exclaimed his hurt with crossed arms.

"He's...he's as old as Y/N," Nat said after a quick mental calculation.

Loki could feel something inside him feel like falling from a great height as Matt dipped you before bringing you back up, all in one full smooth swoop.

Crack!

Scott and Peter felt their eyes pop out at the cracked pieces of glass sticking in Loki's hand. Nat too had turned to look at the source of the sound. But she, unlike the two men, just furrowed her brows. "Oh, you've glass in your hand."

Loki broke out of a trance from her words, turning to look at the remnants of his drink running out of the broken shards of the glass while the rest were stuck inside his hand, blocking both the blood from rushing out and the skin from healing fully.

"Oh," Loki, much to the surprise of Scott and Peter, seemed unfazed by the whole situation, "I must have held on to the glass too ha-"

"Oh my God! Loki!"

Javier was nearly scared away from the group when he heard you shout from behind him, your eyes- carrying the look of horror- stuck on the pieces stuck in Loki's hand while your body moved on its own towards Loki, taking his injured hand in yours. "What the he- where's Bruce?"

Loki stood there for a moment- which seemed to stretch into infinity- to look at the lines of worry rising all over your face as you tried to get napkins after napkins to stop the blood from dropping, all the while asking him if he was okay. He could see the genuine concern in your eyes on watching him get hurt- the trembling hands trying to be steady just so they could help his. He saw. And he felt; felt much worse than he did before. Why?

Because he clearly could not see you in pain. Being happy with a stranger was far better than the sight of you losing all the glow in you.

"I'm fine," he finally uttered, trying to calm your anxious heart, pulling out the shards from his other hand like it was no big deal.

"Are you shitting me right now!" you announced, grabbing his better hand and pushing it away from his other before pulling it towards the door. "You're coming with me. Come on."

And so, you took him away from the party, up in Bruce and Tony's lab, asking Friday's help for it all, who was happy to walk you through the process of letting her take care of the rest while you stood beside the God and watched the AI work its way around the smallest pieces stuck inside his skin while you bit on your nails.

"I uh-" Loki cleared his throat- "didn't realise you were the competitive type."

You looked up at him, your nail still resting between your teeth, your eyes still in a concerned trance. "Huh?"

"You really went all out with the whole...theme," he mentioned with a smirk, gesturing at your ensemble, making you look down at your dress.

The forceps took out the last bit of glass, sanitising Loki's hand and the workbench when looked back at him, nodded casually. "Oh yeah. Yeah, I was just channelling the irritating snake always hissing around me all day all night, pestering me with those googly eyes and big...noodle body. That's what I was going for."

...clearly not what Loki was thinking.

"What...what snake?"

You turned your lips and spoke with the most nonchalant air, "You."

Silence.

You pressed your lips, carefully taking your steps back towards the door.

"You-" he moved his now fully healed hand away from the bench to look at you with tanoffended expression- "little-" he stepped towards you, mirroring your careful pace- "minx-" dashing out the door behind your squealing figure roaring with laughter outside.

[bubbleteaimagines]

Hello there, congrats on 2k! ♥️ I would love to have an Attack on Titan match-up~

I'll choose ugh…the 🐧 emoji? If it's taken you can add another penguin as well :3

I'm genderfluid, a lesbian, INFJ (Very accurate) and Gemini.

I'm 5'2, blue eyes, fair skin, brown short hair (I get headaches if it's too long ;-;) and a curvy body type. My clothing style is a bit wacky, I sorta wear anything and don't match. If I had a NASA sweater I'd wear it all the time.

My dream job was to be an astronaut or something that deals with space entirely, but that got messed up in highschool. Hence why it’s a dream now :(. Now it’s to be an artist or writer because it’s one of the ways I know how to express myself.

I'm not comfortable with my own feelings so I have trouble expressing them, believing that if I do only bad things will open. I often stay trapped in my own thoughts. I'm very loyal, can be awkward in most situations(very uncomfortable in social situations), selfless and love to help people no matter what. Once I've opened up to anyone, I don't shut up and I love to goof around with them. I don't actually get mad, it's a hard emotion to get out of me. I love to write, draw, fold origami, play games and listen to music(any genre that isn't country). I enjoy space and looking at the stars, I can sit for hours talking about them. Scary movies, I LOVE watching them so much. I wish to travel the world but funds and a fear of heights stop me. 

Things I don’t like..The one thing I can think of is when someone assumes something about me. I can get rather defensive over the assumption and cry about it later LOL. I’m also kinda a picky eater, but I’m willing to try new foods?

Thank you so much and congrats again dear, sorry if it’s too much I got carried away 💞

Hi babes!! Thank you sm! You most definitely didn’t get carried away, you sound absolutely lovely 🥺🤍

AOT SHIP . . .

I think it’s a no brainer that I ship you with Pieck! You dream big and that’s something she absolutely admires about you! Pieck is very nurturing and understands if you have a hard time opening up. No worries though, she’s very patient and will slowly coax you to talk to her/communicate with her so that she knows what’s best for you! Pieck loves to engage in your hobbies with you and would love to learn everything about you!

Headcanons . . .

In a modern!AU, she most definitely will name a star after you 🥺

Dates with her will include her taking you to the highest rooftop and have you point out all the different stars and constellations while you guys share an earbud and listen to music

She absolutely wants to travel the world with you, will probably surprise you with a few trips here and there

Loves being goofy/silly with you, will do anything to see you smile

Horror movies aren’t her favorite but she’ll watch them for you, opting to cuddle when she gets scared

If someone assumes something about you then Pieck will waste no time in correcting them, a sweet but fake on her face as she calmly tells them it’s not nice to assume

Would love it if you surprised her with origami’s, she keeps every single one in a box

Playing games with her might seem fun, but Pieck is a dangerous woman. She might love you, but she won’t hesitate to pull out that draw 4

Always apologizes and showers you in kisses afterwards though!! (After she’s made you draw 20 cards and has won the game in under 2 minutes)

[thearvariblues]

The Bard and The Wolf - Chapter Four

(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)

The fourth chapter, in which Jaskier deals with his terrible and well-deserved hangover, with a bit of help from someone he definitely didn’t expect.

You can also find the fic on AO3. :)

The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE.

4 – There’s a Monster In My Pants

Geralt must have hung down the phone before Jaskier finished throwing up, because when the poor hungover bard crawled back to the bedroom, Geralt wasn’t on the line anymore.

Jaskier knew he probably should call him back, but he was too exhausted to deal with whatever Geralt wanted to say to him now. Probably that he was out of the band, for good, with no chance of ever returning.

Jaskier took his phone with him, just in case, and very slowly made his way to the living room, where he stretched on the sofa and covered himself with a blanket. He refused to stay in bed, but he also refused to function.

He was feeling like hell. Partially it was the hangover. His stomach still felt queasy, his head was spinning and the dwarf in his skull abandoned his hammer and grabbed a power drill instead. It was a purgatory, and Jaskier was pretty sure he absolutely deserved it.

Oh, dear God. Trust him to blow his chance to have something good in his life. No, not good. Something great.

“Stupid, stupid Jaskier,” he muttered, closed his eyes firmly and decided to spend the day wallowing in self-pity.

He must have fallen asleep soon after making this decision, because all of a sudden, somebody was banging on his door, and quite loudly at that.

“Oh, fuck off,” he muttered and tried to hide under his blanket, but the horrible sound just wouldn’t stop. Jaskier struggled into a sitting position and groaned. “Who the fuck is that?!”

The banging stopped, but what came after was even more horrible.

“Who the fuck do you think, Jaskier?” said a deep, husky voice he recognized after the first syllable.

Jaskier swallowed.

“This is not Jaskier!” he called in a voice much higher than his own. “This is his flatmate… Alfred! Darling. Jaskier went to visit his poor sick grandmother who lives in Siberia!”

“Nice try,” Geralt chuckled. “But you’ve told me you lived alone. Open the fucking door, Jask.”

“No way,” Jaskier replied. “I’m too young and pretty to die!”

“I’m not here to kill you. But I will the next time I see you if you don’t open the door right fucking now.”

“Ugh, fine,” Jaskier groaned and stood up, very slowly and carefully, huddled in his blanket. He made his way to the door and opened it. The first thing he saw were two golden eyes and an amused smirk. “What?”

Geralt raised his right hand, which was holding two paper bags.

“Belgian fries, tartar sauce, chocolate cake,” he announced. “Also, there’s a Monster in my pants. And I mean the energy drink, not what you’re probably thinking right now. All tried and tested hangover remedies.”

“Jesus Christ, I love you,” Jaskier moaned and stepped away from the door.

It was entirely possible that Geralt was lying about not being here to kill him, but he brought fries, meaning he’s bought his way into the flat.

“Not Jesus Christ, last time I checked,” Geralt chuckled. “And your affection is way too easily won, Bard.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a whore. Please come in, excuse the mess, gimme the fries, the cake and the Monster from your pants.”

“We are still talking about the drink, right?” Geralt asked, shutting the door behind him.

Jaskier let his body fall onto the couch.

“My dearest wolf, I wouldn’t be able to get it up even if I wanted.”

Geralt smiled and handed him the bags and a can of energy drink he took out of his back pocket.

“Good. That’s what you deserve for being so damn stupid.”

“Yeah, I know. I definitely should have stopped drinking after the fucking video,” Jaskier muttered, digging in the bag that was a little bigger than the other. “But I felt like shit, and I wanted to forget, and… Oh, you mean I deserve it for the video. Right.”

Geralt sat down in an armchair and watched Jaskier hungrily stuff a few fries into his mouth.

“Don’t you?” he asked as Jaskier popped open the energy drink.

“Absolutely. Is that why you’re here, Geralt? To act as my voice of conscience? You could have saved yourself the trouble, my conscience’s been nagging at me ever since I woke up.”

“I came here to make sure you were okay, you moron,” Geralt grunted. “I would gladly let you die, but as Ciri pointed out, if you did, we would have to find a new singer, and I don’t think I’m ready for auditions.”

“Oh, how loved and appreciated I feel right now.”

“Hmm...”

Jaskier sighed and closed his eyes.

“Okay, okay,” he muttered. “Look, I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry for the video, it was a stupid idea and Ciri definitely should have stopped me. And I’m sorry… I’m fucking sorry for outing you.”

“You didn’t know I wasn’t out.”

“Precisely. I didn’t know, I should have kept my big, stupid mouth shut. Fuck. I know how it feels, I’ve been outed by a friend before, and now I do it to somebody else?”

“Jaskier...”

“I mean, the friend outed me to my parents and he did it on purpose, but it doesn’t matter if it’s on purpose, does it?”

“Jaskier.”

“The result is the same, somebody who didn’t want to be out is out now, and they have to deal with the consequences–”

“Jask.”

Jaskier blinked.

“What?”

“It’s fine. As Renfri would gladly tell you, I’ve been talking about doing this for months, I just never gathered the courage to say Look, fans, I know you all think I am this big bad manly wolf, every woman’s wet dream, but I’m kind of also into guys, please don’t hate me. It’s almost a relief that someone did it for me.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Jaskier muttered.

“Do what?”

“Try to… convince me that my mistake was actually a good thing.” He took a sip from the drink. “How the hell did you even know the normal one was my favorite, and not one of those disgusting sugar-free fancy ones?”

“I didn’t,” Geralt shrugged. “I just took my favorite.”

“Oh. Thanks. I mean it. You’re a dear heart, Geralt.”

“I know.”

Jaskier uttered a tiny laugh.

“And so humble… What do your fans think about your bisexuality, by the way?”

“No idea. Haven’t checked the comments yet.”

“You haven’t?”

“Have you checked them yet? After all, you outed yourself, too.”

“Yes. As bisexual, but everyone already thought I was gay, so it’s no big deal.”

“Hmm...”

“Oh, stop it with the grunts. By the way, how was I supposed to check anything? I was barely conscious. Well, not even barely, most of the time. I’m only coming back to life thanks to this heavenly goodness you’ve brought me. Those fries were amazing. And now for the cake… Oh, dear lord, I’m starting to think I did die, and I ended up in heaven!”

“Well, it’s obvious you really feel better,” Geralt smirked.

“Physically, yes. Though it would help me tremendously if you checked the comments, so I can stop feeling like shit for… you know.”

“Why don’t you check them yourself?”

“Because, my dear Geralt… Oh, yes, this is fabulous,” he moaned as he put a plastic fork full of cake into his mouth. “My dear, dear wolf, I’d hate to have to throw up the feast you brought me.”

“Jask...”

“Please?”

“Ugh, fine,” Geralt muttered, taking his phone out of his pocket. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Someone’ mentioned it before. Several people. Many, many, many people.”

“I’m only doing this for you. Not because I want to know.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t.”

“Of course.”

“I really… Oh, fuck.”

“Good fuck or bad fuck?”

Geralt took a deep breath, scrolling through the comments on his phone’s screen.

“Well, the good news is, not so many people noticed the bit about my sexuality. Most of these comments are about you.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier sighed. “Okay. Gimme. I’m ready for them to tear me apart.”

“I saw that yesterday,” Geralt smirked. “As you wish. So… Oh, yes, that’s a good one. Oh, boy. This bard looks like a pure cinnamon roll, acts like a pure cinnamon roll, but in reality he’s just a feral bitch who’s out for blood. I mean, I’m not sure what it even means, but it sounds good, right?”

“It is good. Please, please, don’t let it be the only one.”

“Dear God, this guy’s chaotic energy is off the charts. I wasn’t sure about the whole thing, but I can’t help it, I love him already.”

“Oh, yes, baby, yes!” Jaskier groaned.

“I’m definitely getting old, I didn’t understand a word of it,” Geralt muttered. “Oh, this one I understand. Am I the only one who’s been humming Toss a Coin To Your Witcher for the past ten minutes? Well, since the comment has more than a hundred likes, he probably isn’t the only one.”

“It’s a catchy song,” Jaskier said.

“Yeah, though that bit about a humble bard definitely wasn’t inspired by you,” Geralt chuckled. “Oh, God… I am a heterosexual guy, but seeing those blue eyes, I understand why Geralt would let him suck his cock. And the reaction to that is… Man, I’m a lesbian, and I would gladly let him suck my cock. And then… Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Jaskier had closed his eyes, but now he opened them and focused on Geralt.

“What?”

“And Geralt’s not even heterosexual. He probably stood no chance.”

“And here we go,” Jaskier said and pushed the cake aside. “But this is good. It’s great, Geralt. they’re taking it as a fact, that’s the best–”

“Guys. Guys, are we really ignoring the fact this adorable bard said that Geralt, our mighty White Wolf, was bi? I mean, we knew it already… How the fuck did they know?!”

“Hate to break it to you, dear heart, but I knew it, too, even before Lambert told me,” Jaskier shrugged. “You just have this… bisexual energy.”

“Bisexual energy,” Geralt repeated.

“Kinda, yeah.”

“The important question – when he’s with a guy, is Geralt a top, or a bottom?”

“Oh, I know the answer to that, too!”

“I doubt that,” Geralt muttered. “Don’t know about Geralt, but this Jaskier guy is definitely a power bottom.”

“Wrong. Absolutely, completely wrong,” Jaskier commented.

Geralt shook his head.

“I can’t believe… Just yesterday, they were calling you a twink and a fairy and...”

“Cocksucker,” Jaskier prompted.

“And now they… speculate about my sexual preferences? And they believe you sucked my cock to get in the band?!”

“Oh, no, they don’t. Fret not, dear heart, they’re just… playing along. It’s a joke.”

“Am I the only one here who just loves how absolutely smitten this guy is with the rest of the band, Lambert included? So fucking adorable!”

“Oh, I’m gonna start blushing.”

“So, are we giving this puppy a chance? All those in favor, say Aye!”

“How many Ayes?” Jaskier asked, biting his lower lip.

“Way, way too many,” Geralt smiled. “It seems you got lucky, you feral bitch. Congrats. You’re a new fan favorite.”

“Oh, thank fuck,” Jaskier grinned. “I’m gonna make you famous yet, Witcher!”

“I doubt that. You haven’t made Dandelions famous, did you?”

“It’s hard to make a band famous when no matter what you suggest, they tell you Nah, Julian, that’s stupid, I’m not doing that.”

“Don’t worry. We’d never call you Julian, Jask.”

“Very reassuring,” Jaskier chuckled. “Why do you call me Jask, anyway?”

“Shorter than Jaskier. But if you want me to stop…”

“No, that’s not… I don’t mind. I like it. Just don’t call me Julian. I hate being called Julian. Only my parents call me Julian, and only when I do something they don’t approve of. Which is like… all the time. I haven’t seen them in years, but I’m sure that when I see them again, they’re gonna be like… Oh. Julian. You look… healthy. Which basically means I got fat, by the way.”

“Fat? Where?” Geralt blinked.

“Oh, darling. We’re talking about my mother, so… everywhere.”

“Bullshit,” Geralt grunted. “You’re not fat.”

“I do tend to get a little chubby if I let myself go too much.”

“Bullshit,” Geralt repeated.

Jaskier smiled and got back to his cake.

“I didn’t say I minded,” he said. “But thanks, anyway.”

“You’re… welcome?”

“Would you like a bite?” Jaskier asked. “I’m not giving you my plastic fork, but there’s a normal one in the kitchen. Maybe even a clean one, if you’re lucky.”

“Well, I’m not gonna say no,” Geralt laughed and got to his feet.

“And in the meantime, you could tell me what you think about Toss a Coin To Your Witcher.”

“Fuck,” Geralt muttered. “I knew this was coming…”

*

They were just in the middle of discussing their favorite metal bands (well, Geralt’s favorite, and Jaskier’s I really liked them ten years ago) when Geralt’s phone rang. He answered it with a little apologetic smile.

“Yes, what is it, Ciri? … No, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been gone for two hours already. … Right. I have. … No, I’m not trying to find a place to bury his body. … No, we’re not in a hospital. … No, Jaskier is fine, we’re just… talking. And I kind of lost track of the time. … Yes, I know I have a client in an hour. … Yes. … Yes, Ciri. … Yeah. See you at home. Love you too.”

He ended the call and sighed.

“Gotta go?” Jaskier asked. He was looking way better than he had upon Geralt’s arrival. His face wasn’t deathly pale, for a start, and his eyes were much brighter and clearer. He still looked tired, though.

“Yes. Because I’m an idiot who takes clients on Saturdays,” Geralt muttered and got to his feet. “Will you be all right here?”

“Absolutely, thanks to you,” Jaskier smiled. “You saved my life, Wolf.”

“You’re welcome, Bard,” Geralt nodded. “Will you make it to the rehearsal tonight, or should I call it off?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”

“Good. See you there, then. Take care, Jask.”

“See you, Geralt.”

Jaskier waited until he heard the door click behind Geralt before he let out a long, deep breath. He fought the wide smile that threatened to make its way on his face.

Fuck, he was enjoying Geralt’s company way too much. That wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all...

Continue with Chapter Five

[floatingcatacombs]

Why Tomoyo’s Mom is a Political Lesbian

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 1

In my Cardcaptor Sakura gushpiece last year, I made an offhanded promise to write about why Tomoyo’s mom is a political lesbian once I finished my watchthrough. With all 70 episodes under my belt, it’s time to investigate what I was grasping at there.

I will never be over Sakura’s poncho in episode 2

We hear about Tomoyo’s mom as early as the second episode of the show. After Sakura and Tomoyo make plans to break into their school at night, Tomoyo arrives with a full security escort in a tinted vehicle, with an armored van full of costumes for Sakura right behind her. You see, her mother is the president of a very large toy company, which means that she’s ridiculously rich and able to assign bodyguards to her kid like it’s nothing. The two observations that instantly come to one’s mind are that a) all of the bodyguards are women, and b) they all have the gayest haircuts imaginable.

“And here are my conspicuously butch and femme bodyguards”

The rest of Tomoyo’s family situation really only shows up in Episode 10 and 11. We are properly introduced to her mom (Sonomi), and the chip on her shoulder. She’s out to spite Sakura’s father in increasingly lavish ways, and we learn that this stems from a long-standing grudge – Sakura’s dad married the girl that Sonomi was also helplessly in love with. So that’s the ‘lesbian’ box checked off of my argument.

That haircut..sure is asymmetric

But what about the ‘political’ part of ‘political lesbian’? I probably should have started with that rather than Cardcaptor wiki synopses. Political lesbianism is a combination of second-wave feminist ideals with the notion that sexuality is a choice. Rather than dumping a manifesto onto you, I’ll sum up the underlying philosophical argument at play here:

1. Sexual orientation is a choice, as is choosing to act on sexual orientation. 2. Heterosexuality is inherently patriarchal and oppressive. 3. Women have an obligation to avoid and fight patriarchy wherever they can.

___________

Conclusion 1: All women should avoid heterosexuality. Conclusion 2: All women who continue participating in heterosexuality are abandoning their obligations.

This is a seriously weighty argument. If we accept all three premises, we are left with the conclusion that not only is heterosexuality harmful to women, but women must abandon straight relationships, otherwise they are actively collaborating with the enemy.

What does the world even look like if one follows this argument to its conclusion? Most political lesbians also believe in lesbian separatism – the notion that women’s liberation cannot be achieved by collaborating with men. Women ought to give up marriage, families, and sex with men, otherwise they will never be able to overcome institutional sexism. As an alternative to sex with men, women could consider…sex with women! But whether they have sex with women or none at all isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things. What really matters is the political action of refusing heterosexuality.

political lesbian praxis

The Daidouji family’s living situation all but confirms Sonomi’s commitment to separatism. She lives in a modernist mansion where all of her maids, guards, and other servants are women. Most notably, she has no husband or male partner to be seen whatsoever. Sakura even makes the observation that Tomoyo never talks about her father. Other than whatever happened for Sonomi to have Tomoyo, she appears to have completely cut the concept of men and patriarchy out of her life. If her goal was to create a lesbian separatist dynasty, she appears to have succeeded (Tomoyo is, of course, a baby lesbian in the making).

Me gaining class consciousness

There is a certain allure to political lesbianism. The idea that men are the root of all suffering and cutting ties to men provides a fairy-tale escape for some women. For anyone who has ever felt threatened or imbalanced in heterosexual relationships, it offers an explanation on top of the way out. Of course, choosing to be a political lesbian still requires swallowing some pretty big pills. Should we try?

The most challenging premise at first is the idea that sexual orientation is a choice that can and should be changed on a whim. The social construction of sexuality is definitely not a mindset that has won out. In fact, the modern gay rights movements in the United States has specifically been spearheaded with the idea that gay people are “born this way”, a purely biological challenge to the idea that someone can just decide to like women once they hear about the evils of men. Indeed, the political lesbians of old were somewhat split on whether sexuality is socially constructed or a biological impulse. However, they can just take the middle ground and argue that it doesn’t really matter – lesbian relationships may or may not be able to provide an alternative to heterosexual relationships for historically straight women, but what really matters is the political act of refusing heterosexuality. If a woman cannot bring herself to love other woman, she can simply take a vow of celibacy or otherwise avoid men. This brings us straight to the second and third arguments – that heterosexuality itself is oppressive and must be actively resisted.

Sure, patriarchy and oppression are bad, but the routes chosen to argue against them are important. Although they believe in flexible and constructed sexuality, political lesbian’s arguments against heterosexuality are extremely biological. The seminal pamphlet “Love your Enemy?” argues that “there is a very special importance attached to sexuality under male supremacy when every sexual reference, every sexual joke, every sexual image serves to remind a woman of her invaded centre...” Penetration, specifically, carries strong symbolic significance in reinforcing the power of men on top of its physically invasive component. Even non-penetrative heterosexual sex still contains that roleplay of power and powerlessness to a political lesbian. There is no loophole that will allow women to keep loving men ethically – the demands of political lesbianism are Kantian maxims.

Sonomi loved Sakura’s mom to the point of viewing her pairing off with a man as a betrayal. It’s very easy to see it as an ideological betrayal on top of the personal one.

The elephant in the room is, of course, the third-wave notion that femaleness and maleness are not inherently tied to genitalia. After all, to the shock and chagrin of many a radical feminist, some women have penises. Is their sex inherently heteropatriarchal? What about men who don’t have penises? Do they have a get-out-of-jail-free card from this whole mess? What about nonbinary people, who have been completely ruled out of this conversation so far? In arguing a biological model of oppression, political lesbians will need to be able to answer for all of this.

Most of them respond by biting the bullet and doubling down on their original positions. They claim that trans women are just scheming men in dresses, that trans men are gender traitors who want to abandon their fellow women in pursuit of male privilege, and that nonbinary people are simply confused. It is through this reasoning that so many political lesbians grew up to be trans-exclusionary radical feminists. Many former members of the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group, such as Julie Bindel, have gradually pivoted from arguing for women’s rights on all fronts to single-mindedly becoming obsessed with making sure that trans people are forcibly excluded from all gendered spaces. Not only is it depressing to see so many radical feminists fall down this pathway, it’s terrifying to watch as TERFs gain more and more of a media foothold as they start to team up with their enemies, the religious right, over their shared hatred of transgender existence.  

shut the fuck up, terf

It’s a depressing turn of events! Still, even knowing that the movement is rooted in transphobia, can political lesbianism be salvaged? The idea of women’s-only-spaces as a place for comfort, safety, and liberation still feels powerful and immediately understandable and implementable. Though the mainstream LGBT+ movement gained widespread acceptance through advocating that there was nothing they could do about their sexuality, compulsory heterosexuality is still a real thing for many women and spaces to help recognize that would be very useful. Of course, the definition of a woman is going to have to broaden to be trans-inclusive, and as recent efforts to amend the Gender Recognition Act in the UK have shown, this is very difficult in the current TERFy political climate. But I don’t think that every bit of political lesbian ideology needs to be shelved or trashed. As future waves of feminism start reigniting and reconciling various second-wave and third-wave conflicts, I’d estimate that political lesbianism is going to get a fair reevaluation amongst mainstream feminists sometime within the next decade, with the bad parts hopefully cut and the strong parts returned to public consciousness.

pretend kero-chan is giving this lecture ok

So where does this leave Tomoyo’s mom? uhhhhhhhhhhh

Tomoyo’s mom manages to achieve the lesbian separatist ideal of a life lived without men, but she only manages to do so by taking advantage of her vast wealth to set up her own miniature state of sorts. However, this totally goes against the radical feminist principles of grassroots organizing and class consciousness. In achieving the physical goals of political lesbianism, Sonomi has completely missed the symbolic goals of the ideology and is actually reinforcing heteropatriarchal power structures. With her vast concentrated wealth and vertical power hierarchy over her guards and maids, Sonomi is reproducing the very male supremacy power structures that radical feminists work to fight against. Though she may fancy herself a political lesbian, she probably would not be welcomed by any of them.

Also her hairstyle is still kind of bad. terf bangs, lol

[hellocharliewalker]

Here we go

Momma begged me please Yes she got down on her knees Said 'You'll burn in that Mississippi sun' But I'm the only one that's standing here So Mama don't you have no fear I’m either last or I've already won..

Basics

Name: Charlotte “Charlie” Alexandra Walker Age: Twenty-Eight Gender/Preferred Pronouns: Female, She/Her Sexuality: Lesbian Occupation: Owner of “In their Words”, a local small book shop. Opened 6 months ago.  + Strong-willed, Intelligent, Loyal - Impulsive, withdrawn emotionally, loner.

[ phoebe tonkin, female & she/her ] did you know that CHARLIE WALKER was on full disclosure? yeah, apparently the TWENTY-EIGHT year old WRITER was hiding THAT THE TIME SHE SPENT IN PRISON AS AN ADOLESCENT WAS BASED ON A FALSE CONFESSION OF MANSLAUGHTER TO PROTECT HER BEST FRIEND. i never would’ve expected it from our resident ATONER. i wonder how they’ll deal with this, considering how LOYAL & IMPULSIVE they are. // written by jessie: twenty-seven, ast, she/her.

☽  "Take me down”  ☾

Tw: Death, Murder, Arson. 

Charlie had seen many people come and go from her life as a child. Her mother being the first to strike her memories. The woman had packed up and left after telling Nathan, her father, that she wasn’t happy - that life had more to offer her. All Charlie had her from her hiding spot at their bedroom door was that she and her father weren’t enough, that somehow they’d failed the woman. She’d been 6 at the time. She often thought of her mother as that, nothing more than a woman she’d once known. Diana Walker was dead to her for all intent and purpose. It was from then on that Charlie would go out of her way to make sure she was useful to people, in some way or another. It was only later that they would find out she’d been pregnant when she left, with a little boy, a half brother, one that Charlie would never meet. 

This is where her life would begin to take all the wrong turns. Twelve and already on the wrong track, she was sure the universe had been against her in some way. She still wasn’t entirely convinced that it wasn’t. Though she’d always been smart without trying that had lent her nothing in making the wrong choices in friends. One in particular she’d latched on to like the girl was a life line. She was adventurous, daring, brave and completely okay with breaking all the rules that she could. Just because they could, and she’d convinced Charlie that she could to. That she could make of the world what they wanted. She’d adored this girl. Loved her even. 

Too bad that would take her world away. She’d see a prison cell before her sixteenth birthday. It was supposed to be a simple dare - a quick thing - nothing more nothing less. They hadn’t planned on anyone being inside.  Redford was a rural town - one that had long ago fallen once it’s only machine factory had closed it’s doors, leaving it’s residents without work and moving away. The ones that had stayed were left with little options and their children with little to do other than get into trouble. One night, the two girls had broken into Charlie’s father’s whiskey while her was working at the station on a night patrol. A game of truth or dare had taken a turn for the worse when arson got involved. Charlie was reluctant, but assurances were made. “No one lived there, it was a shack. Nothing bad could happen.” More shots were taken. 

Charlie had chickened out. She knew setting a building on fire was a line she didn’t want to cross. There were things that could go wrong and even in her drunken state she couldn’t let herself. Her friend though - she’d dragged Charlie along to at least see the old house, with it’s broken shutters and dilapidated structure. No one could possibly live there. Not in many years. 

She remembers her hand being held as the doorway went up in flames, casting a soft glow over them both - until it was a blaze. They’d both stood there watching as the flames grew higher and before she could say they could leave, surely someone had seen the flames by then, It was too late. 

The flash of police blues flashed across the seen and a beam of light hit them. Her father of all people stared from behind the flashlight. Eyes full of disbelief and worry. He knew what they had done before they did. Mr Tucker, the local homeless man had set up camp in the old building. She would never forget the look in Nathan’s eyes that night.  Before she’d been able to think about it she reached into her friends bag and taken the lighter and fluid that went with it. She wasn’t 18, but her friend would be soon - she’d get in less trouble. Maybe not even that much. 

Oh how wrong she’d been once murder was mentioned her world spun out.  It was in prison that she’d found her love of books. It was in prison that she’d decided that caring too much about someone could lead you into oblivion. It was in prison that she decided she wanted a new life. a new start.  Since being released just after her 20th birthday she’d spent time in 6 cities, the last being San Francisco. There had been a small book store for sale with an apartment on the upper floor. It was the perfect hide away for her. 

She’d been there 5 months without incident. December 19th a single article brought all her dirty secrets to light. She didn’t understand - no one knew. She’d told no one. Her father had suspected but the young charlie had stood fast. She’d set that fire. She had killed that man - it was her idea for everything. 

How on earth had they found out? As far as she knew no one here knew her past. It was a big place though - Her family could be here. The woman and the boy. Or even her friend, the one she would have done anything for. 

☽  Wanted Connections  ☾

The Friend: Name UTP Face Claim: UTP feel free to message for suggestions Age: Thirty Sexuality: UTP - Though Charlie felt there was something there as a teenager.  Bio: Mostly UPT - They were the bad seed charlie latched onto because they made her feel alive and loved. Like she was needed for something. Maybe they offered each other that. 

☾

The Brother: Name UTP - they are half so don’t have to share the same last name Face Claim: UTP but should carry some resemblance.  Age: Twenty-Two Sexuality: UTP Bio: Completely UTP Charlie knows nothing about them, but has always attempted to find him. She’d spoken to their mother once after she was released from prison, but she’d told her she wanted nothing to do with her before charlie had even had a chance to ask about him. 

Will add more as I think of some. Feel free to message me if you have any ideas or would like to pick up one of the Wanted two. 

[phoenixmaiden-reading]

Elevation Book Review

Elevation by Stephen King

Read: March 11, 2020 – March 13, 2020

Another short book by the amazing Stephen King. It was a quick read and only took me 2 days to finish it. It was really good as always. It was suspenseful but not in a scary way, but more in anticipation of what was going to happen next. It was intriguing to see the progression of someone losing so much of themselves that they could no longer stay on the ground. It was kind of sad, but I loved it.

Stars:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Warning! Spoiler Summary ahead!!

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Scott Carey goes to his friend and retired doctor Bob Ellis with a concern. He has already gone to his regular doctor and got all the usual tests done and everything is normal, but it doesn’t explain what is happening to him. He is losing weight. Which in itself is a good thing because he is overweight and has the gut to prove it, but he’s lost about 28 pounds already yet looks exactly the same. When Dr. Ellis weighed him with his scale he weighed 212 pounds with his clothes on, heavy jacket with a bunch of coins, and boots. What was strange was when Scott took his clothes off and was weighed again, he was still 212 pounds. The scale would have added all that extra weight with the clothes and coins, but it didn’t. Despite the weight loss, he felt fine. And no matter how much he ate, he didn’t gain weight either. Scott didn’t want to go to the doctor with this because then it would be on record and he didn’t want to be poked and prodded. So he told Dr. Ellis to keep it to himself. The doctor agreed just to keep him updated.

Scott went back home to a house that was too big for one person and a cat, but his ex-wife had wanted it. She had moved to Arizona after the divorce. So now it was just him and Bill D. Cat. So as he worked on his big project for a new job he had taken on, he remembered what Dr. Ellis said to him before he left about the ladies that lived up the street. The ladies in question lived a few houses down and walked their dogs without leashes up and down the block which was fine. The fact that the dogs shit in his yard was not. He had gone to their house to let them know to pick up the poop in his yard, a fact that one of them, Deirdre, said wasn’t them, it could be another dog – she would then close the door in his face with this superior smile on her face. But when he was standing in the kitchen having just feed Bill, he saw Deirdre and her wife Missy leaving for their run. So he got his iPad in hopes of catching the dogs in the act, and he did. Later on that night, Scott went over to their house and showed Deirdre his proof. She wasn’t smiling then. She told him he won, but it wasn’t about winning, he just wanted her to just pick up after her dogs. It was how good neighbors do, but Deirdre didn’t seem to think so. But she said she will just walk her dogs at the park on leashes.

A few days later, Dr. Ellis called to check up on him, but Scott felt just fine. He ate like a lumberjack yet still continued to lose weight. He was down to 208. He was still working on his big job and by the time he was done he could be down another 50 pounds, but where does it end?

The next day, Scott gets a visit from his neighbor Missy. She’s shy and clearly afraid of him but had come to talk to him anyway. She had come to apologize for her wife.  Scott said it wasn’t needed and that they could walk their dogs on the block, just bring some poop bags and keep after them, that’s all. She said she said as much to Deirdre but she snapped at her. She also explained that Deirdre was mad at everyone. Coming to Castle Rock was a mistake. The business was almost ready and the town was beautiful, it was a risk but they did it anyway. Yet now they are going to lose the restaurant if they don’t turn things around by Valentine’s Day. They can do fine through the summer, but during the winter they need to rely on the locals, but they don’t come because they are married lesbians. Scott wants to refute that but can’t. So Missy then tells him to come by their restaurant sometime, and he agreed.

The day after, Scott went to the local diner and had a big meal. He was in the middle of eating a slice of pie when he overheard some men dissing the restraint owned by Deirdre and Missy. He didn’t usually pay attention to these comments but now he heard them. He suddenly lost his appetite and was going to leave, but instead, he confronted the man who said it. He told him that he can criticize the food all he wants but what their private life was none of his business. It almost started a fight, but he left when the owner, Patty, told him to. So he started to walk up the street and noticed that some of the stores had the Turkey Trot posters in the window that had Deirdre on it when she ran in the New York Marathon some years ago. She had allowed it to try and advertise her restaurant Holy Frijole. Deirdre was a proud woman and for her to allow her picture to be used this way meant that the business was doing worse than he thought. When he spoke to Mike the bookstore owner about why not all the stores had the posters in them, he said that if she had kept the fact that she was a lesbian to herself, she would have been fine. So the other stores won’t put them out because Deirdre was on them. Yet Mike said that the posters were going to be replaced because the town committee voted on it. Scott was kind of shocked that the townspeople refused to put them up because she was a lesbian. Yet Mike said that Castle Country was Conservative Republican, they voted for Trump all the way. So bring married lesbians was a deal-breaker. So either the women were ignorant of the political climate here or they were just stupid. But they had good food.

Now committed to going, Scott called Dr. Ellis to invite him to dinner to Holy Frijole after telling him he was down to 204 pounds. So they agreed to go on Friday night when Dr. Ellis’s wife was visiting her sister. But on Friday night, Dr. Ellis said that the real reason he couldn’t go the other night was because his wife didn’t like the two women who ran the restaurant and he didn’t want to get into a fight with her over it. So they went to dinner. Deirdre was not too happy to see Scott, but she was hospitable enough. The Holy Frijole was nicely decorated, the food was really good for Mexican-vegetarian, but it was sparsely inhabited. There had been cutbacks so Deirdre was working both as hostess and waitress. When they leave, Deirdre asks to speak with Scott, so Dr. Ellis goes across the street to wait.  She was upset with him for defending her and her wife at the diner. She doesn’t need to be defended, she can do it by herself. And to stay away from her wife. After, Scott took Dr. Ellis home. He asked Scott if he could take measurements each week to keep a record, but Scott refused, at least for now. When Scott got home, he made himself a snack and then weighed himself. He had been 201 that morning, but after the big meal, he was 199. It was getting faster.

During the month of October, his weight continued to drop, he was down 60 pounds by Halloween and now weighed 180, yet he still looked like he weighed 240. He continued to eat whatever he wanted and didn’t have to work about his cholesterol. He also had a lot more energy. He also finished the big project he was working on and got paid handsomely, he was close to rich. He had seen Deirdre and Missy running with their dogs at the park, the dogs miserable being on leashes. One thing he learned was that if he ran a little or pulled himself up on a tree branch, it didn’t wind him. His pulse elevated slightly, but that was it. He had never been able to do things like that without losing his breath. Scott had also started keeping a calendar of when his weight would hit zero which was on March 31st. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he was going to live his life to the fullest. On Halloween, he got a decent amount of kids to come to get candy. But they stopped coming at 6:30. He asked the last trick-or-treaters if they had gone to the house up the street. One of the kids said no because her mom said that they were not nice ladies, the other said that his dad said they were “lesbeans.” As they left, Scott suddenly had an idea. He next morning he walked down to the Rec Center and signed up for the Turkey Trot. He asked if Deirdre was coming and they said she was.

On Thanksgiving, he had dinner with Dr. Ellis and his wife. He had seconds and then ran around with their grandkids. Dr. Ellis’s wife, Myra said he was going to have a heart attack with all the running around he was doing, especially at the Turkey Trot the next day. But Dr. Ellis didn’t think he was. When he got home, Scott weighed himself again and he was at 141. He was almost losing 2 pounds a day. So he changed the date he would hit zero on his calendar to March 15th. He was scared of what will happen when he runs out of weight, but also curious. But he was also, strangely, happy.

The next day, Scott walked down to the Rec Center to sign in for the Turkey Trot. Patty, who was signing in people, told him to stick to the back, to let the out-of-towners be first, it was proper form, plus, he’ll be in the back with the kids anyway. All joking aside, she told him to watch out if his chest felt tight. Scott found Deirdre doing some stretches and he went over to her. She was a little surprised to see him in the race. He then offered her a wager. She thought he was crazy and told him that his efforts to ingratiate himself to her were unwelcome. But Scott said he was just trying to be friendly and she would realize that if she wasn’t such a defensive crouch. He then said that if she won the race, he will leave her alone, and she can let her dogs loose on the street on their runs and he won’t say anything if they poop on his lawn, but if he won, she and Missy will come over to his house for dinner and try to get along like he had been trying to do. Deirdre couldn’t believe he was serious, he was overweight and unexercised and looked like he will have to stop from leg cramps or a heart attack. No one was going to beat her. Scott just said she was afraid, so she begrudgingly agreed. But she asked him why he was doing this, was his masculinity in jeopardy? Scott thought to himself that it was because he was going to die next year and he wanted to put one thing right at least. But she wouldn’t understand, so he just said he just was.

The Turkey Trot started soon after. Scott was toward the middle in the 300s out of the 800 people who had come. People wished him luck and one hoped he didn’t have a heart attack. Scott jogged at a steady pace, he passed a few runners, but not many. There were a couple of teenagers who had slowed down but picked up the speed because they didn’t want to be outdone by a fat old man. He felt good and light on his feet and his heart rate was even, he hadn’t even put a dent in his stamina yet. People passed him and that was fine, as long as he could see Deirdre ahead of him. Runners were passing her but she was clearly taking it easy for now. It wasn’t her first race and knew what she was doing. She was hanging back for now and then would take the race near the end. She will win and show everyone before she has to leave when her restaurant shuts down. But for now, Scott will just follow her lead. He was having fun anyway and glad to be alive. At the halfway mark, he started to see people stopping to rest at a refreshment table or those of who had just given up laying in the grass. He passed the teenagers from before, they were surprised that an old fatty had passed them once again. He then decided it was time to pick up the pace.

When Scott hit the 9K mark, it started to thunder. It wasn’t such a good thing in Maine, especially with the race. He also started to pick up the pace once again and started to pass some of the serious runners. He got some surprised looks, especially to his sizable gut hanging over his shorts, but he kept going. Soon he was going up Hunter’s  Hill and he was starting to feel it. His breath was shallow and his calves were burning. Scott didn’t really think he could beat Deirdre but he thought he would at least finish the race. But maybe it was because he weighed too much despite what the scale said. But he had to do it and continued to push forward and when the orange mark for 10K came he was gasping for breath. He continued to push because he had to do this. Who cared that Zero Day might be today, he had to put it all on the line. But then he reached the crest of the hill and could see the town below him including the finish line and Deirdre in her red and blue in second place. Scott didn’t think he would be able to catch up to her. But then his lungs opened up and he could breathe, he felt lighter like before what runners would call a runners high. It felt like an elevation and he felt like he could go beyond himself. So he did.

Next thing he knew, Scott was passing runner after runner, no doubt they were staring at him as he flew past them but he was focusing on Deirdre. As he passed the last marker it raindrops started to fall and another runner dropped out. Seeing the red shirt ahead, he kicked it into overdrive. The rain then started to fall in a torrent and visibility was virtually zero, so he just focused on the red shirt. He felt alive as he ran and if this was what it felt like to die, then he was happy to do so. He past by the former leader and could now see Deirdre in the lead. She looked behind her and was surprised to see him coming up fast behind her. So she picked up the pace. But she looked behind her again and her legs got tangled and went down. Scott stopped and she was hurt and angry and asked how he cheated, but he ignored her and helped her up and started running again. Deirdre didn’t know what was happening to her but she was suddenly running on air. She suddenly felt light as a feather, but it wasn’t happening to him, she felt heavy. So he told her to run and she did and crossed the finish line and he wasn’t far behind. Deirdre said that when he had touched her, she had weighed nothing. Her wife, Missy then found her and gave her a hug and then more people came and they cheered.

Later that night while Scott was taking a bath to relax his tired muscles, Deirdre called and she didn’t sound stiff at all and actually laughed. She wanted to know when they could have dinner. She insisted even though she had won the race, but he could have easily won, he had thrown the race. But Scott said that she deserved it. So they agreed to have dinner at his place with Missy as well on the following Monday for some vegetarian food. He also agreed to tell her about what happened at the race and everything along with it.  After he was dressed, he went online to check out the news article that Deirdre had mentioned. They had coverage of her winning the race and how she was a restaurant owner, and how Scott had helped her near the finish line. They even had a good picture of it despite the rain. If Deirdre and Missy’s restaurant didn’t get any business with this kind of exposure, they never will. He then weighed himself and the scale said 137.

On Monday, Deirdre and Missy came over for dinner along with Dr. Ellis and his wife Myra since the doctor knew what was going on with him. He hadn’t been sure if Myra would come because of her views on the women, but she actually hit it off with Missy and talked through dinner. When it was over and Scott was in the kitchen, Deirdre came in and told him that business had been really busy with out of towners and even some locals that had never come in before. And she knew it wouldn’t just be a one-time thing, they’ll be back. The pictures of the race with him had helped her in a big way. She then wanted a hug, but Scott warded her off, not because she was a lesbian but because it might be dangerous. It was then time to talk to everyone about what was going on. So as they gathered into the living room, Scott told them all about his unexplained weight loss, even though it didn’t show. Missy was skeptical so Scott held out his hands for her and she took them and she suddenly started to float; it was like she had become weightless. He let go of her hands and she settled back on the couch. Missy said it felt like she had been on a roller coaster when she was going up a steep hill about to go down. Scott had tried it with Bill his cat and it had freaked him out, not he won’t go near him. Basically, anything object that he touches becomes weightless, but not to him. They couldn’t believe it and Scott didn’t know how it started or when. Missy wanted him to go to a doctor so they could fix him but realized it would be pointless because no one would know-how. Yet Missy said that he couldn’t live up on the ceiling, but Scott didn’t answer that. He just told them to keep it to themselves.

Over the next few weeks, Scott and the others would meet up at Holy Frijole at a table that was always reserved for them. Business at the restaurant was constantly busy and Deirdre had hired a sous chef to help out; a good sign. On the day of the Christmas Tree lighting, Deirdre was cheered by the crowd of townspeople as she lit the tree. Scott weighed 114 pounds. After the New Year, he started making arrangements. He had Mike the bookshop keeper take his cat, Bill, saying he was going to go see an Aunt and needed someone to take care of him. He was now giving things away…

After a few days, Dr. Ellis called and asked if he was still losing 1-2 pounds a day and Scott lied and said it was. He had a feeling his Zero-Day would be the end of January and not in March like he originally thought. He told the doctor that he was 106 pounds now, but Scott knew it wasn’t true. He hadn’t been weighing himself recently afraid of what it would say, but he knew it would be around 70. He didn’t want to tell Dr. Ellis, Myra, Deirdre and Missy that it had sped up, not yet anyway. He could now cross his living room in leaps and swing from the overhead beams, close to how astronauts walked on the moon. Everything was fine so far, but one day he went to get the mail and he fell. It had been snowing and there was ice covering the walkway. So when he fell, he slid down the driveway. Usually, his weight would eventually slow him down, but with his new lightweight, he kept going and would have ended up in the street but he managed to crash into the mailbox pole and somehow got back inside. He was running out of time and would have to put clamps around the house ASAP.

The next time Scott saw his friends for dinner it was at his house since he could no longer leave. There were some changes to the house now too. There was a ramp leading up to the door and clamps set up around the house. It was difficult to move around now, going upstairs was easy because he was going up, becoming lighter, but going down was harder and it took an effort to pull his weight down to the ground floor. What Missy and Dr. Ellis wanted to know about was the harness and the wheelchair that sat in the corner, but Deirdre knew. Yet no one said anything about it. After ate dinner, Scott confessed that he had been lying about the pace of his weight loss. He had been losing about 3 pounds a day. But he didn’t know how much he weighed. So they went to check. As Scott got up, the 3 of them got a first-hand look at what the weight loss was doing. With no real mass to him, his body was becoming too light to ground him. He was becoming weightless, gravity was pulling him upward. So just walking to the bathroom scale was a chore. He would misjudge the strength of his step and it would propel him forward that he would crash into things like tables, and the wall. It was why the clamps were there, so he could hold on. When Scott got to the scale, it registered at 30 pounds. When they got back to the living room, he told them he was fine with everything, but that this was their final dinner together because he won’t see any of them again. But he wanted Deirdre to do something for him at the end, to which she agreed. So he told them what he wanted and no one disagreed. So Myra and Dr. Ellis took Bill D. Cat to take to the bookseller. Before they left Myra said she was sorry for what was happening to him but was happy for what happened to her. She would have kept ignorant of some good people like Deirdre and Missy. She was thankful for that.

The next day, Scot got an email from Missy saying that she had wanted to be there at the end, but DeeDee (Deirdre) had convinced her not to. Though she didn’t like it she understood that he wanted them to remember him how he was when he was normal. She also said that what he did the day of the race enabled them to stay in Castle Rock. They can now be a part of the town now because of it. Of course, not everyone will accept them but a lot of them have. Deirdre has opened up now too and it wouldn’t have happened without him. She also understands why Scott had chosen Deirdre to help him at the end. It was because they shared a bond. Not only because of what happened at the race but because she understood the feeling of elevation that Scott feels; she feels it when she runs. Missy hopes that he will stay brave. Scott printed out the email to take with him.

The following day, Scott made his way to the bathroom to weigh himself. It was harder to move around now as he was more floating as he tried to walk. He was now 2.1 pounds. He called Deirdre. It was time.

Deirdre came and found Scott sitting in the wheelchair in the living room. He was floating in it but he was buckled in. She then helped him to put in a harness, careful to try not to touch him as it would make her float too. She then got a bag that had rope just in case she couldn’t push the wheelchair. Inside the bag was also a SkyLight firework. Before they went outside, Deirdre got a comforter to put on him because it was dark and cold. She then was able to push him outside and down the ramp and onto the lawn where there were no obstructions. Down the street, Scott could see 3 flashlights. Myra, Dr. Ellis, and Missy had come. Deirdre hadn’t been able to keep them away, not that she tried very hard.

It was finally time. Deirdre helped him unbuckle the harness. After a few simple words of farewell. He let go. He rose slowly in the air, the wind catching him and making him rise further. He used the comforter to steady himself so he wouldn’t blow into anything until he didn’t need it anymore. He looked down at his friends and his house, the town…taking them in for the last time. As he rose higher he started to struggle to light the firework. The group watched until they couldn’t see him anymore, but they were waiting for a sign. And then the firework lit up the sky showering the dark night with bright-colored light. Myra, Dr. Ellis, Missy, and Deirdre held each other as they watched and Scott continued to gain elevation toward the stars.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Mulan au (the perfect gift)

N/A: It is merciful short here.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @bamfoftheundead

Ever since Kitty arrested the Ravens in a spectacular form it makes Magneto even more interested in an alliance if that wasn´t obvious before, so, Magneto give "suggestions" to Lorna to enter in contact with Michael Pryde and flirt with him, seduce if must.

Lorna is not exactly comfortable with this, yes, Michael was a good dancer partner in the ball, however, one good ball does not mean happy marriage as Lorna did have to figure it out on her own with Alex Summers.

"Father" Wanda intervenes to be the voice of reason "we don´t know if Michael would even swing that way, remember the last candidate? Jean-Paul does not seem to favour any woman and again, he was a good dancer partner but held no interest in marriage with a woman...I think you should think of this possibility before asking to Lorna to seduce him" Wanda concludes and Lorna is so grateful for this as Magneto is pondering now.

Wanda has indeed a good point. Then his eyes look at Pietro who is shaking his head before his father could utter another word. "I´m married! and Michael is not my type"

"In that case...we should send someone to check out what is Michael´s sexual preferences," Magneto said in a rare moment of lucidity decides to put his children´s opinion first before plotting.

If Michael does not swing to the ladies side...What Magento can do?

"Frankly, we rather not know" Pietro suggests as now they are leaving the room leaving Magneto behind.

___________________

Talia Maximoff has a somewhat odd and cool job that was given to her by her grandfather and by her own father, find out what you can about Kitty Pryde, the legendary monster slayer.

For such a legendary woman, Kitty is a very easy going and would rather talk about each flower she sees and their meaning then talk about her famous adventures. A nice contrast with her father, Talia certainly will add this to her list.

"Uhm, your son Michale likes flowers too?" Talia asked and Kitty chuckle at this.

"Yes, just like his father, " and this makes the woman frowns at the mare word father and Talia see an opportunity. "Michael and his father are Botanics and they´re sure to have to know flowers...really, don´t get why a man liking flowers means they are gay"

"People can be dumb and prone to judgmental, people think I´m lesbian for liking swords,  is an old cliche...by the way, I´m bisexual and this cliche still haunts my love life" Talia confessed and could count on her hand many times people label her as lesbian for her swords and passion for fighting with them.

"I´m bisexual as well and I can see this old cliche won´t go away" Kitty confessed as well and Talia then makes her important question sounding as casual as possible.

"And the father of Michael is alright?" Talia did the question as this is not of a big deal.

"Michael´s father? James?! Oh, that man" and Kitty frown at this name for a moment "such headstrong just like me, he wanted to marry off Michael to one of the Maximus girls and really, I´m still displeased with him for that stunt...Inhumans are not a good candidate for Michael"

"Thank you for not saying all them are bad as my uncle is married to one of them, but, yes, most of them are unbearable"  Talia concludes and the two women continue their conversation.

_________________________

"So, her husband and Kitty are in a bad place?" Kurt asked not hiding the smile. And Talia is not surprised by this fact, after all, Kurt Wagner is a leech.

"She gives the impression that the father wants to ship off Michael as soon as possible and Kitty is really not ok with that" Talia elaborated but adds "but I don´t know if she is willing to cheat on her husband with you!"

Kurt dismisses this worry with his free hand. "It won´t be a problem to try, thank you, Talia, unlike my other advisers, you really give me the right information"

"Father, just please, don´t be a big slut here, she can kill you"

"And I can return as many times I wish"

[bbclesmis]

The Guardian: Les Misérables' Andrew Davies: 'I haven't added much sex to it. Sorry to disappoint'

Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics on his BBC One adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece

We’re just minutes into our interview and already the conversation has turned to brothels and sadomasochism. But perhaps this is not entirely surprising. Sauce is, after all, Andrew Davies’s trademark. As Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics into raunchy, bodice-busting primetime TV, Davies is the man who added incest to War and Peace, put daddy-issue sex into the backstabbing Westminster drama House of Cards, and reinvented Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice as a wet-shirt-clad Colin Firth. None of those things, purists note, appear in the original texts.

Despite all these achievements, the 82-year-old writer never quite managed to smuggle his steamiest offerings into the nation’s living rooms. Take his adaptation of Fanny Hill, the 18th-century “memoirs of a woman of pleasure” that became one of the most prosecuted and banned novels. “This is a pornographic book,” says Davies. “There are lots of whips and sadomasochism – and I did try a couple of more explicit brothel scenes. But one works with a producer and a script editor, and they might say: ‘Um, we don’t think this is quite right for the BBC, Andrew.’ And so OK, it was worth a try.”

Speaking with Davies, who lives in Kenilworth, Warwickshire, is not unlike watching one of his dramas: innuendo and humour keep appearing, to spice up the serious and the considered. Conversation can quickly take on the slight sensation of romp, like when he talks about visiting sets. “I tend not to go much during filming,” he says. “As the writer, you don’t have a job so you’re hanging round like the spare prick at a wedding. I’ll go a couple of times, arrive before lunch, tell the actors they’re brilliant, and then leave shortly after.”

It’s easy to forget his advancing years: Davies has a mischievous laugh and still writes every day. But the biggest difference between now and when he started out comes whenever he goes to an award ceremony. “I’ve got a bad back,” he says, “so I don’t do as much dancing.”

As we speak, he is excited about Les Misérables, his much-heralded adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece of the 1832 Paris uprising. Three years in the making, and about to headline BBC One’s new year schedule, the series is spread over six hour-long episodes and boasts a principle cast of more than 100 – including Dominic West, Olivia Colman and David Oyelowo. The aim, clearly, is to be every bit as epic as the original 1,400-page novel – and, possibly, to banish memories of Russell Crowe bursting into song in the 2012 Hollywood musical version.

“Our tagline is ‘nobody sings’,” says Davies, who has won five Baftas and two Emmys. “It will be interesting to see how fans of the musical react, because I think they will be surprised by how much of Victor Hugo’s original story never made it into the musical. There’s so much more to it than many people know: about the cat-and-mouse relationship between Javert and Jean Valjean, and about Fantine and her early life – her happiness before the misery. We have explored all that. We’ve done it properly.”

The big question is of course this: how has he sexed it up? There have been rumours that Dominic West’s rear end gets an airing. He laughs. “You know, I do think sex is a huge motivation in a lot of these great 19th-century books but not so much in Les Misérables. I don’t think I’ve put a great deal in that wasn’t there. I’m sorry to disappoint.”

In reality, Davies rarely disappoints. He is a master of his craft. His gift lies in taking complex, sprawling novels and, while retaining the original spirit, boiling them down to something fast and fierce, full of fun and frolics. In his adaptations, nothing is sacred. Classic scenes are hacked away and completely new ones added, while beloved characters get killed off early or just never appear.

In House of Cards – his 1990 take on Michael Dobbs’ novel about Tory party skullduggery – he decided he wasn’t keen on the story’s original ending. His solution? To reverse it entirely and have the bad guy win. Dobbs liked it so much that, in a re-released edition of the book, he did likewise. When Netflix transferred the drama to Washington for a new US version in 2013, it followed suit.

“I think we all have this feeling when we’re reading a book: ‘Oh, I wish they’d written a scene between this character and that character.’ Or: ‘I wish this person wasn’t quite so prominent.’ And for me, it’s a question of being alert to those feelings, then writing them in. I do what I would like to see and hope the audience goes with me.”

Generally, it does. His credits read like a best of British TV and include definitive Dickens adaptations of Bleak House and Little Dorrit (in which the reclusive Miss Wade was transformed into an insatiable lesbian). Then there was Tipping the Velvet, complete with taboo-busting dildo revelry, not to mention Sunday night favourites Mr Selfridge and Doctor Zhivago. Among his fans is none other than Vladimir Putin: the Russian president said 2016’s War and Peace “captured the Russian soul, the epoch and the depth” of Leo Tolstoy’s original. “I’m certainly no fan of Putin,” says Davies. “But I’m happy enough he’s a fan of mine.”

He hopes Les Misérables, which has been made by the same team, will receive similar international acclaim. While writing it, he found himself surprised by its relevance, finding parallels between 19th-century France and the world in 2018. “This huge difference between the haves and have-nots still exists,” he says. “People are taking to the streets in Paris right now, but the inequalities are here in Britain too. And you wonder if anything has been learned. We had a very grand BBC launch in Piccadilly and it was pouring with rain and you had beggars sitting there on the wet pavement with nothing as we tiptoed past them in our best clothes and went in for a champagne reception.” He seems momentarily troubled. “There is a huge irony there. I see it, but I don’t know what can be done.”

Davies is rumoured to be the highest-paid screenwriter in the business but he comes from a background more aligned to the have-nots. Born in Cardiff, the grandson of a miner, his main dream as a young writer, he once said, was to “go to London, get drunk a lot and have loose women”. His first TV play, called Who’s Going to Take Me On?, was broadcast when he was 29, yet it was another 21 years before he became a full-time scriptwriter. In the meantime, he moved to the Midlands with his wife, Diana Huntley, had a couple of children and taught at schools and universities while continuing to write screenplays.

In a way, the teaching was a great apprenticeship. “I spent years trying to bring these classics to life for students,” he says. “In a sense, doing it on screen is just a grander, more expensive way of doing a lecture.” He chose to focus on adaptations, he has said, because his original works were always autobiographical – and this was a problem. “I live a very quiet life. There’s not very much to write plays about.”

His most famous work is perhaps 1995’s Pride and Prejudice, a Jane Austen retelling so filled with life, lust and laughter that it revolutionised costume drama. “We wanted to show that these were young people with all the same passions that we have,” he says. “They weren’t just bonnets.”

He is currently working on a new Austen adaptation. Sanditon, which will begin filming in spring, is a reworking of her great unfinished work about the transformation of a fishing village into a seaside town. ITV has described it as “lavish”. “She only wrote 100 pages or so,” he says, “which I’d used up midway through the first episode. So the rest I’ve had to make up. It’s been a blast.”

Yet there have been critics of the project. Some have asked if it is still appropriate for a man to transform the work of a woman. The word “appropriation” has been used. “To adapt a novel,” he says, “whether it’s by a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter what sex you are. You just have to know a lot about novels and a lot about adapting – which I do. You know, Sarah Waters didn’t have any problem with me doing Tipping the Velvet, which is not only by a woman but about lesbians. And I’m not one of those either. Will people say you have to be a murderer to write a convincing killer? It’s barmy.”

Sanditon is not the only thing he’s working on. He may be in his 80s but Davies hopes this decade will be his most productive yet. Another project is his upcoming version of A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth’s majestic novel set in post-colonial India. It will be the BBC’s first drama featuring an entirely non-white cast.

Another is a series based on John Updike’s Rabbit novels, which may be Davies’s first work made for a streaming service. “It’s early days but that might be on the cards,” he says, mentioning both Netflix and Amazon as potential platforms. “It would be a thrill.” And neither, I suggest, is averse to turning up the phwoar factor. “I know,” he says and gives that mischievous laugh one last time.

• Les Misérables starts on BBC One on Sunday. (x)

[jmsa1287]

'Queer Eye' Returns for an Unremarkable but Comforting Season 3

i got to write about the new season of #QueerEye which is fine but i want more from it!

There's no doubt that fans are eagerly awaiting to return of "Queer Eye," which won an Emmy for Outstanding Structured Reality Program last year. The third season, which hits Netflix in full Friday, of the popular rebooted makeover series, sticks to the formula it's found success with over its first two runs — for better and for worse. In Season 3, the Fab Five — Antoni Porowski (food and wine guy), Tan France (fashion guru), Karamo Brown (culture and lifestyle expert), Bobby Berk (home design extraordinaire) and Jonathan Van Ness (grooming guide) — continue traveling the heartland of America in order to improve the lives of good-natured, hardworking and deserving folk. For the first two seasons "Queer Eye" shattered the boundaries that the original series from the early 00s, formally called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," were locked into. This new Fab Five aren't only helping out heterosexual men but they also lend their talents to all walks of life, including gay men, women and trans people. The trailer for Season 3 teased the Fab Five will be making over a lesbian woman this season (surprisingly a first!) but that episode was not provided by Netflix for review. The four episodes shared were, for the most part, unremarkable albeit a comforting experience. They would fit fine in any of the first two seasons and don't push "Queer Eye" any further in what kind of show it can be.

But comfort viewing is reality TV at its best. Over the years, the pillars of reality TV haven't changed so much. "Survivor," which just began its 38th season (!), has probably evolved the most since debuting back in 2000 but its foundation and motto ("Outwit, Outplay, Outlast") are still what drives the show. "The Real Housewives" franchise continues to thrive with a number of its original stars still leading their respective series. "Big Brother" also retains a popular fanbase without varying much as it gears up for its 21st season this summer. Though many latch on to those shows to turn their brain off and watch people be the worst versions of themselves. But "Queer Eye" is remarkable in doing the complete opposite, branding itself on change, love, acceptance, and positivity. It's obviously not a competition show and the conflict comes from the subjects who are often dealing with overcoming insecurities and sorting through past trauma or a major change. "Queer Eye" is never nasty and the Fab Five is focused on making America great again, one person at a time. Setting "Queer Eye" in Middle America gives the show a certain charm. The Fab Five are metropolitan guys who come from large cities and watching them interact with families in landlocked states gives the series a fun fish-out-of-water vibe. On Season 3, they come across Jody, a correctional security guard and hunter, Joey, a program director for a summer camp, Robert, a self-deprecating psych-ward nurse about to tie-the-knot, and sisters Deborah "Little" Jones and Mary "Shorty" Jones. While the first three episodes are fine, the episode about the Jones sisters is far and away the best of the bunch. Little and Shorty are purely authentic and make for great TV. The episode has everything a fan could want out of an hour of "Queer Eye" — dynamic characters, the Fab Five at the top of their game and inspirational subjects who carry an American story. 

Netflix's reboot of "Queer Eye" is a great improvement on the original series but it still would be rad to see the show push itself even further. In today's lexicon, "queer" doesn't mean what it meant 20 years ago. The Fab Five is made up of cis males and while each member is primed to be on TV, it would be great to see the core group changed up a bit and get lifestyle advice and tips from different queer people. That could conceivably happen because "Queer Eye" is likely here to stay and going anywhere anytime soon. Not only is it extremely popular but Netflix seems to be leaning into putting out more lifestyle content. Food and cooking shows have been a popular staple for the streaming giant for a while now (think "Chef's Table," "Salt Fat Acid Heat," "Nailed it!," "The Final Table") and the company found major success with "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo." There must be an appetite for these types of shows and more are on the way as Netflix and Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website goop are working together for a slew of new programs. For now, "Queer Eye" Season 3 is a perfectly enjoyable way to spend a lazy weekend. For fans, it'll bring the same joy and heartfelt moments the first two installments did. Let's just hope as the show continues it also progresses in interesting ways. 

[im-just-here-for-the-drama]

Gay Characters in Kdramas: The Good, The Bad, and The Mediocre

Gay characters rarely show up in Korean dramas. Though there have been a few characters over the years,  In terms of representation, the characterization and stories of these characters are usually nothing to write home about, but I figured, why not write about it anyway? Here’s my watch and don’t watch list, if you’re looking for gay characters in kdramas.

Warning for spoilers galore!

The Mediocre (these aren’t bad, but they’re not the best either)

Lily Fever (2015)

The Story: Kyung Ju heads to her friends house one day to find her missing passport. She finds Se Rang instead.

Should You Watch?: Sure. This show is quirky and just downright odd. The ending leaves a lot to be desired and the story itself is kind of all over the place, but it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s short, most of it’s nonsense, and the girls have lots of chemistry. It’s only a bonus that Se Rang is a standout character of this show. You’ll probably fall for her yourself by the end of the webseries.

The Lover: Joon Jae and Takuya (2015)

The Story: Different couples live together in an apartment building. The show shows us snippets of their lives. Joon Jae’s life gets turned upside down when he meets his new roommate Takuya.

Should You Watch?: Hmmm...yeah. I started watching this show expecting it would showcase the typical Korean bromance between the guys. The kind where the show makes it seem like the guys might have feelings for each other, but the show just skirts around the topic entirely. In the first few episodes, that’s exactly what happened between Joon Jae and Takuya (with a lot of sex jokes and penis jokes thrown in for good measure. That’s actually what most of the show is). But the show eventually, actually, went there. Joon Jae and Takuya don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but when they do, we get to see some serious feelings thrown in with all the crass humor, and Joon Jae and Takuya do admit to having feelings for one another. The ending could have been a little better, but it was a happy one, so baby steps.

Perseverance Goo Hae Ra: Jang Goon (2015)

The Story: A group of rag tags come together to form a band. Jang Goon joins the band and meets their manager Tae Poong who he’s had a crush on for years.

Should You Watch?: Only if you’re interested in the rest of the show. Jang Goon has a fairly interesting storyline. He has a friend who accepts him after finding out about his crush and he has to rebuild bridges with his father who doesn’t accept him doing music (and Jang Goon’s scared he wont accept his being gay either). But Jang Goon’s storyline is such a small part of the story it wouldn’t be worth it to skip through to only his parts.

Daughters of Club Bilitis (2011)

The Story: A one episode drama detailing the lives of four lesbian couples.

Should You Watch?: I watched this so long ago, I honestly don’t remember a single shred of what happened in it, but I’ll say yes, watch it. Because there are so few lesbians in asian dramas you have to watch the one’s that exist. The entire show is about lesbians, so I  mean, why not?

Reply 1997: Jun Hee (2012)

The Story: The lives of a group of high school students in the year1997. Jun Hee has a crush on his friend Yoon Jae.

Should You Watch?: Yes and no. The Reply Series (Reply 97/94/88) are pretty good dramas after all. They’re great for nostalgia, family, friendship, and the like, but if you’re here solely for the gay? Probably not worth the time. Jun Hee’s a side character. We see him crushing on Yoon Jae and he confesses his feelings to Yoon Jae and another friend, but there’s not too much more than that.

Seonam girls high school investigators: Eps 11-12 (2014)

The Story: High School girls investigate and solve problems in their school. The show is episodic and in these two episodes the girls attempt to help Su Yeon and Eun Bin who have to hide their relationship from their classmates.

Should You Watch?: Yes. I honestly don’t remember much about this one either, but I do remember it being decently done. This show caused a lot of controversy years ago when it aired Korea’s first lesbian kiss ( probably korea’s first same sex kiss period that was a legitimate kiss and not used for laughs). It’s worth checking out to see what caused all the ridiculous uproar.

Wise Prison Life/Prison Playbook: Han Yang (2017)

The Story: Big time baseball player Kim Je Hyuk turns into a crimanal overnight. After he’s convicted, he has to face his new life in prison. He meets some interesting people in prison. Among them is the drug addict Han Yang.

Should You Watch?:  Yes, because the story itself is a really interesting take about a man who goes to prison, meets a lot of different, people, and ultimately makes new friends/family. If you’re just watching for the gay? I’d still have to say yes, despite the fact that Han Yang doesn’t get the happy ending he deserved. Han Yang was one of my favorite characters in this show. I don’t know how he managed it, but I swear Han Yang got funnier as the episodes passed. I was really endeared towards him attempting to kick his drug habit while also trying to salvage his relationship with his ex-boyfriend Ji Won. He had such an interesting story arc, was such an entertaining character, and I didn’t feel like the show ever made fun of him for being gay. This character was just such a joy to watch, I definitely don’t regret watching, even though I wanted more.

Moment at Eighteen: Jung Oh Je  (2019)

The Story: Transfer student Jun Woo has no interest in school life, as he is traumatized from being expelled from bullying. Meanwhile, Soo Bin has been watching Jun Woo all this time. She sees a different side to Jun Woo than the one that other people see. Oh Je, is Jun Woo’s best friend who starts to discover his sexuality.

Should you watch?: Hmmm… sure. Oh Je has a decent side plot. It was interesting to see him figuring out he liked Hwi Young and coming out to his ex girlfriend and his friends. I do wish his story was expanded a little more though. There were several things I would have liked to have seen, like coming out to his family, and I thought they wrapped his story up a little too quickly at the end.

Love with Flaws: Won Suk and Ho Dol (2019)

The Story:  Joo Seo Yeon, is a hot-tempered physical education high school teacher who always wears sneakers, jeans and training uniforms.  The death of her parents helped instill a deep sense of compassion, a generous heart and an outspoken objection for anyone who drinks and drives. Living in a house with three wild and very attractive brothers, she loathes flower boys. Her ideal type is someone who is “not handsome.” Won Suk is one of her handsome older brothers.

Won Suk has closed his heart to relationships and love, but he lives his life as an openly gay man. Ho Dol is closeted and lacks confidence. They meet one night at Won Suk’s bar.

Should you watch?: People have been kind enough to condense Won Suk’s and Ho Dol’s  story into parts on YouTube so yeah, go ahead and check it out.

These two don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but the little they do get is nice. We get to see Won Seok help Ho Dol open up and be more confident with who he is and in turn, Won Seok opens up his heart.

The Bad (you probably shouldn’t waste your time on these ones)

Personal Taste: Director Choi (2010)

The Story: This dramas about a straight guy who pretends to be gay in order to gain access to the blueprints of a woman’s house…or something like that. Director Choi’s specific story revolves around his attempts at courting that guy.

Should You Watch?: Absolutely not. Half of the time the drama equates being a gay man to automatically being feminine, a woman, or not a “real man”. Director Choi is also a good deal older than the male lead and makes several attempts at courting him even though he’s not interested. It kind of came off as the “creepy old gay perv” and that didn’t sit well with me.  I suppose you could skim through the drama to watch Director Choi’s scenes. If sad gay men Is your thing. I just felt bad for the guy most of the time.

Ho Gu’s Love: Kang Chul (2015)

The Story: Ho Gu’s a pushover, a fool, and kind of an idiot. He meets his old classmates and things get a complicated. One day in High School Kang Chul meets Ho Gu’s twin sister and mistakes her for Ho Gu. They spend the day together and she kisses him.  The kiss sparks feelings in Kang Chul. Of course Kang Chul thinks it was Ho Gu who kissed him and years later, when he meets Ho Gu his feelings grow stronger.

Should You Watch?: Yes? Maybe? If you really want to, but mostly…no. With this, I expected that the typical drama set up would happen. Similar to all gender benders, Kang Chul would find out that it wasn’t Ho Gu he kissed. So any feelings he was having for him would immediately get swept under the rug where we could all pretend we never knew his heart fluttered for another man. Imagine my surprise when episode after episode passed and that didn’t happen. We got down to the last few episodes and Kang Chul had admitted to himself that he liked Ho Gu, he came out to his parents, and his coworkers assumed he was gay. The show was actually depicting the struggles of being gay in Korea and it was arguably one of the better storylines for a gay character on Korean t.v., but then the show couldn’t stay strong and they flipped the script. Predictably, Kang Chul finds out it was Ho Gu’s sister he kissed, the show copped out, and lo and behold Kang Chul was straight with no further mentions of any other possible sexuality. Watch it if you’re curious, but be prepared to be extremely disappointed by the end.

Graceful Family: Mo Wan Joon  (2019)

The Story: Blah blah blah, revenge or something- at a point it’s revealed that Mo Wan Joon is a trans woman.

Should you watch?: If you really like revenge melos maybe, but if you’re looking for this show to do something good and offer up some good trans rep? Nope.

Literally nothing about Mo Wan Joon’s story is watchable. I wasn’t even entirely sure the show even knows what being transgender even means. It comes off as more of a plot twist to put the family all in a tizzy more than anything else. They don’t really show much of Wan Joon’s struggle or anything poignant or engaging.

Sweet Munchies: Tae Wan (2020)

The Story: Jin Sung pretends to be a gay chef to film a tv show for money. Tae Hwan, a closeted fashion designer falls for him.

Should you watch?: No. "Everyone loved Personal Taste right? What if we just did that again but with a chef this time?"  This could have been potentially groundbreaking, but by the end of the show the two leads are unlikable and  we just wind up with more sad gay tears. But Lee Hak Joo as Tae Wan? *Chef's kiss*. This man put me through the wringer and he does it so subtly. If you must watch, literally skim through Tae Wan’s parts.

The Good (these are worth the hours of your life you wont get back)

Painter of the Wind (2008)

The Story: Shin Yoon Bok is a talented painter who disguises herself as a boy to search for her father's murderer and meets a master painter who guides her into being a great painter. Kim Hong Do is the man who teaches Yoon Bok how to paint, and they develop a strong friendship of mentor and disciple.

Should You Watch?: Yes. On the surface this sounds pretty straight, but ignore the summary, because yes there’s a loveline between Yoon Bok and her mentor, but the most interesting story here is the loveline between Yoon Bok and a Gisaeng she meets named Jeong Hyang I’ve seen plenty of gender benders, but I’ve never seen one where a woman falls in love with the girl who’s pretending to be a boy. This drama isn’t technically supposed to be gay, but it’s extremely gay when when bisexual Yoon Bok hits on the gisaeng the first time they meet. Yoon Bok finds herself falling in love with the Jeong Hyang too and the love between them comes off as extremely genuine and sincere. I don’t care what that show was trying to tell me, Yoon Bok/Jeong Hyang was the true otp.

Life is Beautiful: Tae Sub and Kyung Soo (2010)

The Story:  A family drama about a blended family. The show focuses heavily on Tae Sub and his boyfriend Kyung Soo

Should You Watch?:  Absolutely. In this drama we actually get to see a same sex couple. There’s not just one gay character or a situation where you have to read between the lines. Tae Sub and Kyung Soo are a gay couple who get to be together and happy and they get screentime! The show focuses on Tae Sub coming out to his family, his family's acceptance/non-acceptance, and Kyungsoo’s family’s non-acceptance as well. We get to see the guys work through their problems together and we get to see how they’re relationship changes and grows. My only complaint about this show is that it aired seven years ago and korea has shown little to no progress in terms of lgbt characters and couples in kdramas since.

Rural Outcasts (2019)

The Story: Sun Hui moves to a small village where she lives her life as Soon Ho until she can make enough money to become her true self. Dong Ja, a feisty 12 year old, breaks into her house one day.

Should you watch? Yes, although, heads up, there’s a cis man playing a trans woman. Found family always makes for a heartwarming story and this one is no different. I loved the bond between Dong Ja and Sun Hui and I loved their mother daughter relationship. Very sweet and heartwarming, but be prepared for some heartbreak too.

[frederator-studios]

Diane Obomsawin: The Frederator Interview

Diane Obomsawin, also known by her pen name Obom, is a Quebec author, illustrator, and animator. After becoming a legend in the comic art scene in Montreal, she forayed into animation—and we can all be glad for it. Her films are quirky and evocative; funny and full of heart. Her latest short film, “I Like Girls” (2016), based on her graphic novel On Loving Women, won the Nelvana Grand Prize for Independent Short at the 40th Ottawa International Animation Festival. It is a film close to her own heart, featuring the story of her own coming of age, and coming out. I was privileged to discuss the importance of positive Queer representation, and combatting stereotypes of homosexuality in film and TV, with a leader and role model in LGBTQ media such as Diane.

When did you first become interested in animation?

I began making graphic novels when I was 10 years old. I was always drawing, but it wasn’t until a friend recommended animation to me, that later in life - I was 35 - I joined the animation program at Concordia.

How did you become involved with the NFB?

My teacher at Concordia, Wendy Tilby, had long made productions with the NFB. I was lucky to learn from her; at the same time that she taught me the ‘correct’ methods to animate, she encouraged me not to change from the different ways I’d been working. The NFB was looking for someone to do a few author commissioned short films, “Understanding the Law,” and she recommended me. It was a great, because although they were commissions, I could do them in my own style. At first I was nervous about bringing my humor into them—but they told me to have fun, so I did!

How did you come to write the graphic novel, On Loving Women?

I wanted to tell tiny, real stories. All my life, lesbians and gay people have been marginalized. Now there is less marginalization, and more films and TV series talk about lesbian and gay people’s experiences. So when I went to write the graphic novel, it felt as though society was ready to hear these stories—and I felt ready to tell them. I hadn’t always been. But even if the timing is better now, for so many years, lesbians - gay people, but lesbians especially - have not been represented in films and TV. So as much as we’re talking about these experiences more now, we can never talk about them too much. With the Bechdel test, we see that women are already under-represented in movies, and lesbians have been practically nonexistent; aside from the old trope of lesbian and gay love ending in tragedy! I wanted to show the reality of lesbian’s experiences - the joy, bittersweetness, sexuality - in their own words.

What was your process in interviewing women for the piece?

I chose 10 friends of all different ages. My hope was to interview women young to old to reflect the variations in stories across generations. The youngest was 28, and the oldest was 70. But that didn’t translate into the film—the oldest woman is actually Charlotte, but she appears to be the youngest because the actress was young. But I purposefully cast young actors because it’s a film about youth. I asked my friends about their first attraction, not first love. And first attraction might begin very young - ages 5, 6, 7 - long before they realize their sexuality, or fall in love with another woman.  

And all of the little details in the story - did they just emerge during your talks?

Oh yes, I didn’t change anything. I recently asked my friend, “Is it true? You ate Pepsi dipped ice cream cones?” and she said, “Yeah, absolutely!” The details came naturally. I think it helped that I didn’t directly ask them about their experiences, so much as their smallest memories - anything that came to the conscious. I was so surprised by some stories. One friend, she never consciously or unconsciously felt attracted to another girl, nor realized that she was a lesbian. It all came together for her in a single day, when she was in college. She tried LSD and fell in love with a woman, in that order.

Whoa, what a story. It must have been tough to choose only a few for “I Like Girls”!

So difficult. I chose four: the ones I felt to be the most romantic, the goofiest - Wonder Woman with a horse face - and my own. As well as the saddest story, Marie’s. Hers is even more sad in the graphic novel: her mother gave her a terrible time, trying to put her into treatment for her “problem”. Her experience is what I mean by generational difference. Marie is only 5 years older than me, and just from those 5 years, our realities were so disparate. The culture shifted and perceptions changed—not totally, but quickly. They impacted our parent’s perspectives. For her family, and those of my other older friends, coming out was a very big deal. “You’re not my daughter anymore”—they considered it unacceptable. But when I came out, I was accepted. My parents told me, “We love you, we want you to be happy”. I was lucky. But even though it’s easier today, it’s still not easy. In normalizing the experience of coming out, I was thinking about young people who are going through it now.

Have any responses to the film stayed with you?

Yes—it’s been so touching to hear from young women that they identified with a character, or that the film helped them in some way. One even sent me a picture of a tattoo she got of one of the graphic novel characters. I remember reading The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith (adapted into the film Carol, 2015). It was the first novel that ended happily for women in a lesbian relationship. I felt such joy and relief seeing myself in those characters. And so did countless lesbians and gay people who have written to her for years since!

What were techniques you used to make “I Like Girls,” and how did you choose to make them animals?

For some of the scenes, I used rotoscoping. The scene with two characters in bed together, I filmed dancers, for their comfort level and ability to move. Then I drew over them. It’s already difficult to draw two bodies entwined, but it’s even more so with a non-realistic art style like mine. And I also rotoscoped because it was important to me that the character’s movements be sensual, and that they be sexy. There’s a stereotype of gay women as lacking sexuality, and I wanted to make a point against that. And my non-realistic style is also why I gravitate toward animals rather than humans; if I could draw people that didn’t look so boring, I would! But the main reason to make them animals was to ensure that my friends wouldn’t feel too close when they saw their stories unfold on-screen. They could still recognize themselves, but with a degree of separation.

Do you have a favorite among your films, or love them equally?

I think I love them equally. Well… maybe “Kaspar”, perhaps because it didn’t do well at festivals. It’s like if you have one in the bunch that is less successful, you actually like it more! “Here and There” was about my own adolescence, growing up; “Kaspar” was about Kaspar Hauser, who grew up in a cave before dying very young; and “I Like Girls” is of course about coming of age. I realized recently that they all talk about childhood! So the next one will be something new. It also won’t have voiceover - there will be dialogue, but not voice-over.

What are you up to currently?

I’m working on my friend Khoa Lê’s film, “Dans nos ville”. He brought on 18 other creators, including me, to each do a segment on a different fairytale. It’ll play for 7 days in 7 different places, narrated by an actor and with live music. It’s exciting, but my segment is almost 4 minutes long—and I have a month and a half to do it! So I’m using more abstract animation than usual. I’m also doing the opening animation for Le Carrousel festival in Rimouski, which has a focus on children’s and YA work. The animation is a series of loops that go up and down—it’s meant to have a feeling of perpetual movement, reminiscent of a carousel.

You’ve recently ventured into visual exhibitions as well - how do you like  compared to traditional mediums?

t’s a different way to tell a story! Unlike graphic novels and films, they don’t require a beginning and end. You can come into the story at any point. In 2015, I created an animated visual art installation in Quebec City called “La Forêt” (“The Forest”). We projected images of a forest upon three charcoal covered walls. My aim was for the spectator to feel that they are not supposed to be there; they are spying on the forest life, and the forest is revealing its secrets. Tiny things happen, mostly from mythology and fairy tales. Little Red Riding Hood makes an appearance. I have another installation coming up for spring 2019. It will be half animation, half-graphic novel; spread throughout three gallery rooms of a small museum. The theme is dreams and mythology. I dream a lot, a lot, a lot—so I record them in a journal. I want to explore the links between our dreams and mythology.

Do you have other projects in the works?

I’m working on my friend Khoa Lê’s film, “Dans nos ville”. He brought on 18 other creators, including me, to each do a segment on a different fairytale. It’ll play for 7 days in 7 different places, narrated by an actor and with live music. It’s exciting, but my segment is almost 4 minutes long—and I have a month and a half to do it! So I’m using more abstract animation than usual. I’m also doing the opening animation for Le Carrousel festival in Rimouski, which has a focus on children’s and YA work. The animation is a series of loops that go up and down—it’s meant to have a feeling of perpetual movement, reminiscent of a carousel.

Do you have a favorite artist and favorite animated film?

One of my very favorite artists is Copi. I like his simple drawings and his writing, which is absurd, poetic, and corrosive all at once. I discovered him when I was young, and didn’t know whether he was a man or a woman until I was an adult, and found out that he was an Argentinian transvestite and playwright, and lived in Paris. So far as films… I could choose a different favorite animated film every week. But today, I will go with the very beautiful and strange film Nighthawk from Spela Cadez. After I saw it, I asked myself, “What just happened to me?”. Watching that film is a very sensitive experience.

Thank you so much for the interview Diane! I look forward to keeping up with your many projects. Especially excited for your next short film!

- Cooper

[wdefender]

The Only Winning Move

This Lindsay Ellis thing has got to me. She quit youtube, in a long, sad, patreon post, about how the fiasco that started with a mild criticism of a Disney film led to the worst year of her life.

In her Mask Off video, she mentions that though this seems a lot like what conservatives call Cancel Culture, it’s got a different sense to it. It goes unnamed, but every leftist content creator sees it and fears it. It’s the mob that eats itself alive, that runs on spite and invective, the people that collate every possible mistake someone has made and spits it out at any potential misdeed.

And it always seems to happen to people with two qualities: They make smart, thoughtful content, and they’re women. Think about this, pewdiepie said a bunch of racial slurs, easily a condemnable act, and controversy flared for a while, but he’s still trucking and still richer than you or I will ever be. JonTron had his whole “rich blacks commit more crimes than poor whites” followed by his current “i dunno guys that vaxx seems pretty sus” stuff, and there he is, still producing videos with plenty of fans. Both of these guys make dumb, disposable tee-hees and they got off scott free from their bullshit. But Lindsay had to deal with so much abuse and betrayal and abandonment that she simply could not go on as she had. And she was ostensibly on the side of the people mad at her!

It’s a trend I’ve noticed that if you try to be socially conscious with the things that you make, you will face much harsher criticism than someone who simply does not care. I think about Gravity Falls and Steven Universe. Gravity Falls was a fun show from Disney that had a single black character and two men that were implied to be gay. It was standard, run of the mill, who-cares cartoon and you rarely see anything but praise. But Steven Universe tried really hard to tackle some shit. Most of the characters are lesbians, it looked at abusive relationships, consent, trauma, and a little smattering of gender in there, with Stevonnie and Shep both being nonbinary. And for that, people who call for representation all day long attack it nonstop.

It does not pay to care. If you do, you are put in a special category where any slight misapprehension you engender is harped on relentlessly by the people who ask for what you are trying to make. If you simply do not give a shit, nobody cares. A Let’s Player in it for the yuks doesn’t have to try to be a good person, and I would say they should not try. Because trying will hurt you. Somehow it’s safer to vaguely imply some sort of social stance, one with plausible deniability, than it is to fight for what you want to see in the world. Because the ones that come for you won’t just be the ones who hate your worldview, it will be the ones you thought you were fighting for.

And lookee-loo, Gravity Falls was made by Alex Hirsh, and Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar. Wowee, sure is weird how all the hate goes to the show made by a (nonbinary) woman. I didn’t want to think simple sexism was at play here, it seemed too easy, but I can’t deny that’s a big part of it. I don’t know if people just hold women to higher standards, or if men are more inclined to not give a single shit.

There’s something to be said for how Twitter helps this happen, but I don’t think I can cover that enough to justify myself. It’s just disheartening how leftists unintentionally ally themselves with those who hate leftists to attack a leftist creator for something that doesn’t really matter.

The only people that have won here are the ones who hate everything Lindsay was trying to do. Create media literacy, critical thinking, and examine where our biases in media lie. But we didn’t win. We have lost a creator who made smart, funny videos, stuff that made me think and learn about so much. She could not take the shit being thrown at her and there was no other way out. It will only happen again. And I guess the only way around it is to never try to be better.