#big boss wants them to see what we're dealing with
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I should not like shifts where all I'm doing is working stock as much as I do, especially since it means coming in a bit later in the day. Though today's goal is to haul-ass and get as much of the back room onto the floor as possible.
#random stuff#big boss lady is gone for 3 days#which mean i gotta deal with dumdum#but at least this way i'm left to my own devices#and shit will actually get done#the big wigs are coming on wednesday#and everyone BUT dumdum knows#big boss wants them to see what we're dealing with#and she doesn't want the idiot prepared for a visit#why is it so hard to fire someone that does NOTHING?#literally all she does is eat and vape#and is a body walking around#please let this be the last week we have to deal with her#she should have been axed when she left the store with no other MoD on shift#that was a huge liability for us#venting in the tags
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a story in which katsuki's bratty son tries to blackmail his mother! how terrible
— characters. katsuki, reader, katsuma (the son)
— contents. fluff, katsuma is a little shit
— word count. 600
— authors note. GJFCK MFGVFDXK GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDOMESTICTRASFJNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGJBJFNVDSLM
Your son is alot like his father, in good ways mostly.
He stands up for himself at school, and is mostly independent. For the most part, Katsuma was a pretty easy kid.
However, he can also be the most major little shit on the planet, much like in the situation you're in now. He's learned what blackmail is, and he loves it.
You were in the kitchen, baking cookies, when you heard Katsuma’s voice from the living room. "Ma! What's this?" he yelled.
You turned to see your five-year-old holding the pregnancy test you had thrown away earlier.
Oh no.
Your heart skipped a beat. "Katsuma, where did you find that?" you asked, trying to stay calm.
"In the trash," he said with a mischievous grin. "I'm gon' tell Dad unless you give me extra cookies- and I wan' that brand new hero figurine at the store...AND I wan' my own bb gun- AND!!! I wan' a brand new pair of boo-"
"Katsuma." you sighed. You've known your son to be a major handful all his life, but also know realizing he did indeed have you in a tight spot. "Katsuma, this is important. I wanted to tell your dad in a special way."
Katsuma pouted, crossing his arms. "Fine, but I still want extra cookies...and the figure...an' can I still have the bb gun?" You sighed once more.
"Alright, you can have two extra cookies- AND the figurine... but you have to promise to keep this a secret for now," you said, hoping to buy some time.
"Deal," he said, his eyes gleaming with pride.
As you handed him the cookies, you couldn't help but feel frustrated, yet a bit amused. Katsuma was a lot like his father—brash, stubborn, and always wanting to be in control. You watched as he stuffed the cookies into his mouth, crumbs falling everywhere, and shook your head with a small smile.
Just then, you heard the front door open. Katsuki walked in, looking as intense as ever. "What's going on in here, hm?" he asked, sensing the tension.
Katsuma jumped in before you could speak. "Mom's got a secret, but she won't tell me!"
You shot a look at Katsuma, then turned to Katsuki. "It's not like that! I just…I found out something today and wanted to surprise you..."
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What's that?"
Taking a deep breath, you decided it was now or never. "Katsuki, I’m pregnant. We're having another baby."
For a moment, he just stared at you, processing the news. Then, a rare, genuine smile spread across his face. it was sadly short lived, and replaced with a smirk instead. "Oh really?".
Katsuma looked between the two of you, his earlier mischief forgotten. "So, does that mean I get a little brother or sister to boss around?"
"Katsuma, you will not be bossing your them around." you said, ruffling his hair. "You have to be a good big brother, okay?"
Katsuma's eyes widened. "I’ll be the best big brother ever! Can I teach them how to play hero games?"
You chuckled. "Sure, but you'll also need to help take care of them."
Katsuki walked over and pulled you into a gentle hug. "I'm really happy, you know," he said quietly. "This is good news."
You relaxed into his embrace, feeling a wave of relief. "I was so nervous about telling you."
He pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "Why? You know I’m always here for you, no matter what."
Katsuma tugged at Katsuki’s pant leg. "Dad, does this mean we need to buy more baby stuff?"
Katsuki laughed. "Yeah, it does. And you can help pick it out." "Good! Yknow dad...when we go to the store,I wanted to see if you could buy me a new figurine..or a bb gun...or a brand new pair of boo-" "No." "Oh.. DAMNIT!"
The rest of the evening was filled with excited chatter about the new baby. Katsuma kept asking questions about what it would be like to have a sibling, while Katsuki suggested names and joked about teaching the new baby how to be tough like him.
Later, after dinner, you all sat together in the living room. Katsuma was snuggled between you and Katsuki, half-asleep from all the excitement.
Katsuki looked over at you, his expression softer than usual. "You know, I never imagined myself having a family like this," he admitted. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Me neither. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?"
He nodded, reaching over to squeeze your hand. "Yeah, we have. And it’s only going to get better from here."
#mha x reader#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki x you#bakugou x you#bakugo x you#mha x you#bnha smut#mha smut
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Bad Boys Get More
I had been working my office job for years now, at least 3. I talked my way up and had been happily ready to be promoted. But last time someone got it over me, no big deal. I wasn't concerned. I mean he was here longer than even I was! So of course he did! And then this month I had applied and interviewed again for a manager spot. Even higher than I got before. Unfortunately... I had been passed up again.
This time was different though. This time was much much worse. It was some guy with tats all over his body. That wasn't the only problem either. Devin, the new "manager" and guy in question, just didn't show up to work some days. So I decided enough was enough and I tried to confront my boss about it. It was his decision ultimately.
"Hey." I said a bit annoyed, but trying to conceal it. "Mind if I have a piece of your time, Henry."
My boss looked at me, he was also a bit younger... not as young as me but not old old? Probably just about 40. "Yeah sure, what's it about." He said a bit plainly as he walked back into his office, me following.
"It's about Devin." He nodded, knowing what I was going to say. "Why was he chosen over me? I mean... he has such shit attendance! He barely even did his job!"
By now Henry was a bit upset, I had been talking about this for the past week to other co-workers and he had overheard it. This was his decision and now he'd let me know why. "You wanna know why Devin got the job instead of you? One simple reason. He's chill."
"What?"
He continued as if I hadn't said a word. "Devin's a cool guy, he's been here a little less than you, sure, but he won't complain when someone else gets the job instead of him." He looked at me and nodded, as if knowing something.
"But he hardly looks professional!" I blurted out.
"Neither do you, Colt." Colt? Who's Colt? "But don't worry, we don't discriminate here against what's on someone's body. Which by the way, what are all of yours about?" He pointed to my arm... what was happening to it?! Black writing was going down it and ink filled it up. Making images, Henry came over and looked at my arm.
"Oh that? That's a meaning between someone and... wait... no..." I tried to resist.
"No need... dang, what gym do you go to? I would ask the next question on our interview but you've worked here for a while and I do know you can lift more than 50 pounds now." I looked at my bulking up physique. I tried to stop it but it just looked like I was flexing more. I held back a chuckle.
"Well... I think the interview might be done. You have the job, unless you have questions for me."
"I-I... What did you do to me?!" I stood up and looked at my body. My clothes clung to every bit of me, an outline in my pants and pecs obvious.
"Why Colt, I just made you able to get the job you wanted. Trust me. We were going to give it to you anyways but with how you were acting? Devin put in a good word at least. Said all you needed to do was be more like him. So... there ya go." He stood up and shook my hand.
"You'll get used to your new life during your shift with Dev tonight, shouldn't take long. Tons of changes... hopefully you find them all for the better." Henry smirked as he walked out. Devin came into the room.
"Glad to see you finally got 'your' Position dude. We're gonna have fun tonight..."
#bulky#alpha jock#jock#jock bulge#jock tf#muscle#handsome#alpha male tf#alpha muscle#alpha man#alpha#mtm tf#male tf#muscle tf#male body swap#male body possession#male transformation#male to male#bad boy tf#bad boy#mental transformation#transformation#transform
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Hi! Can I make a request? I simply loved the fanfic you made of Andrew and Ashley as cats! I think it would be very comical to live with these two as cats, can I ask you for a sequel? Like with Andrew suffering from love for the reader and also with his yandere tendencies to keep every man away from the reader?
Ask and you shall receive.
Also, I appreciate that there are people interested my work
Bad Cats!!! [Part 2]
Warning ⚠️ : yandere tendencies and such, reader has bad memory i guess, I don't know how to put up warnings, so read at your own risk
A/n: Sorry, it wasn't exactly what you expected it to be.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Finishing the project that your incompetent boss pushed onto you, press save and close your work laptop, and you stretch to relive your aching muscles.
"Meow!" Oops. You accidentally woke up Andrew, but he didn't jump off your lap like any normal cat. He just continued cuddling up to you. Andrew was not a normal cat, personality-wise. Where Ashley was the classic feral street cat that turned into those stereotypical house cats.
Lately, you've been having a reoccurring dream about being in an embrace of a guy with black hair and green eyes whispering something that you can't really remember. Something about him felt familiar, but you couldn't really figure out what.
When you told Nina about this, the only thing she said was; "He sounds hot. Maybe that's your soulmate." Why you still confide in her is a whole other mystery. However, when you told Julia about your reoccurring dream, she said, "It's weird that you remember it in detail." And that's true, you don't remember most of your dreams, but when you do, it's always blurry.
Well, whatever. you have chores to do, and you can't procrastinate. Carefully taking Andrew off of your lap and got to work. Funny enough, neither Ashley nor Andrew reacted to the vacuum. They just left the room.
Those two are such strange cats.
Once you finished the chores, you were about to make dinner, but it seemed that you were missing a few ingredients, which was weird because you were sure there was enough from yesterday.
Oh, well. It's time to buy more. Before you head out the door, you announce to the cats that you'll be out for a bit. You lock the door and leave to the supermarket.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Now, it was just Andrew and Ashley left there. Neither of them changed from their cat forms, but you could see the look Andrew was giving Ashley.
"What?" She asked, there was no answer. "If she didn't want anyone to eat it, she should've put a sign or something."
"She already thinks we're strange. She doesn't need to know that one of us turns human just to raid her fridge while she's sleeping." Andrew decided to break his judgmental silence, and that was pretty hypocritical of him considering what he dose.
Ashley rolled her eyes at her brother. She didn't find this to be a big deal. Besides, you weren't suspicious of anything. But it seemed that that wasn't the reason for his grumpy attitude.
And Ashley noticed that.
"Listen, if you're still hung up on the fact that she might find someone and metaphorically ride into the sunset with them. Why don't you just... "Tie her down to you."...?" Andrew continued to stare at her blankly.
That was kind of irritating her.
"God! Do I have to spell it out for you? Get. Her. Pregnant!"
Andrew was shocked, to say the least.
Ashley decides to defend her answer. "I mean, if you don't want those hussies taking her, that is."
That was a stupid idea, Andrew shook his head and left. Ashley rolled her eyes again at his "dramatic" behavior.
What kind of situation would he be put in to make that kind of decision?
It was a crazy idea.
He's better than that.
Is he, though?
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
A/n: I could've done better than that, but I hope you enjoyed it.
#the coffin of andy and leyley x reader#tcoaal x reader#andrew graves x reader#yandere andrew graves#yandere andrew graves x reader#x female reader
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Jake Kim x Reader: Cinema
G/N. Soft and fluffy feat Big Deal a lil.
"You on a date, boss?"
Jake says yes without missing a beat, flashing you a grin and snaking his arm around your waist.
He sees the smirk on Jason's face, the light nudge Lineman gives Brad, and the pride and approval on Jerry's face.
The grin soon melts away though, when Brad follows up with "You going to see Rocky XX too?" and Jake only just manages to hide his grimace.
The answer to that is also yes. But he would prefer to not have a date crashed by the rest of the crew.
Heavens above, you're patient enough with Big Deal and so sweet to everyone. Gotten to know the street and the occupants like the back of your hand, spending more evenings and weekends there than not.
However. Even with how much Jake lives and breathes Big Deal, he misses some one on one time with you.
Away from everyone, he thinks as he takes in the sight of his boys in front of him. He can't exactly tell them to go away though, can he? A rare weekend off work where they get to just be.
He succumbs to his fate.
Imagines everyone huddled on the one row together. Seated next to each other. Cosy. A family affair instead of a romantic date. Probably won't be able to sneak you some kisses here and there-
"We're not seeing Rocky!" comes the unmistakable sound of Lua's voice. "We're going to watch The Boy and The Pigeon! Enjoy your film!"
She disappears as quickly as she arrives. A whirlwind of hair and a force of nature. Giving you both a small wave, mind laser focused on reading the goddamn room and shoving the boys towards a different screen.
"B-but we already got the tickets!"
"I wanted to see Rocky XX!"
"Why does Jake think seeing Rocky is romantic anyway?!"
Why?
To be honest, the Rocky franchise died off somewhere along V. Who knows how the hell these films are still being greenlit. Nevertheless, the newest one is a low stakes film where Jake doesn't care what happens apart from you cuddling up to him and some kisses if he's lucky.
It's calculated and planned and Jake mentally pats himself on the back for how things have turned out.
Except-
What he didn't expect was the score to be good, the script to be great, the choreography to be amazing, and the acting to be even better. Neither of you could take your eyes off the screen. You laughed and cried and gasped together.
Thoughts of cuddling and kissing and even making out completely out the window as you're both on the edge of your seat for the entire two hours.
It was fantastic. Perhaps the best movie he has ever seen (and he could practice some of those moves too).
You're both still talking about it as he walks you home-
"When he came back as a zombie to fight that vampire?"
"And the lizard joins the fight to win the title?" Jake chuckles, at your enthusiasm more than anything else, "Yeah. I liked that."
But as your apartment appears on the horizon, he can't help but think that maybe this was a bit of a waste. That the day is over and as good as the film was, maybe he should have arranged something else, after all it’s been a while since both your schedules have aligned. A date where you can actually talk and be in each other's company. Instead of being captivated by the screen, your attention could have been held by him.
Jake tries to shake off the doubts and recapture the lighter mood from seconds ago.
He's not entirely successful.
You realise something is amiss.
You peer over at your boyfriend. His sudden subduedness. The small line forming between his eyebrows that you hate so much, because it means he's unhappy about something. You pause mid step and he stops alongside you.
"Don’t overthink it. I had fun," you tell him. You always have fun with him. "Thank you."
Jake's smile returns when he sees the expectant look in your eyes. The way you stretch up towards him. press yourself into his space, and he leans down; meeting you halfway.
Your lips lightly press to his, eyes closing, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks and his own falling shut. Strong arms encircle you, pulling you ever closer, deepening the contact.
There'll be a next time, your kiss reassures him.
You tastes like popcorn. Sugar and butter and salt. Sweet and savoury and perfect.
#admiring respectfully once again#respectfully might be a lie#lookism#lookism x reader#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#lookism fic#jake kim#jake kim x reader#kim gimyung x reader#kim gimyeong x reader#wannaeatramyeon
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i desperately want more spin-offs like UDG where we're given the events of DR through Very Different points of view.
one idea i always enjoyed is a Protagonist completely disconnected from the main cast, who does not know or care that the Remnants were once innocent kids and will once again be (mostly) innocent kids, who is not invested in hope versus despair or whatever the fuck. they see terrorists and suffering and they want the Remnants dead.
battling big-ass Nekomaru is cool and all, but i'm thinking boss fights to agonize the player where you're chasing down non-fighters like Ibuki and Mahiru and you see a flash of who they used to be before delivering the blow. each time the protagonist has to be convinced to only knock them out, to let the FF deal with them. each time the protagonist has to tell themself that the infinite layers of grief they see in those young eyes are manipulative, false.
you don't know who Sato or Natsumi or Chiaki are. you know half your friends are gone and your city's exploded and you haven't heard from your partner in two months. you're able to split up the yakuza couple and, heavily injured and unable to move, the bodyguard woman with the sword yells for her boss. what was it? Inuhiko? Fuyuhiko? she reaches out. you swing the bat.
because it doesn't matter what they were: it only matters what they took from you, the Protagonist
#danganronpa#have this unusually Fucked Up idea from me#but in all seriousness i think the idea of a game where YOU know what these kids used to be but the PROTAGONIST doesn't#and has to deal with the immediate ramifications of what they've done#EXTREMELY interesting#YOU don't want this protag to hurt Ibuki#YOU see Ibuki's despair#YOU feel bad when Ibuki's finally cornered and scrambling to get out of the protagonist's reach#but the protagonist just sees a beast wearing the skin of a cute little 19-year-old punk rocker#and swings. and swings.
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This is silly and maybe a little OOC, but I love Chuuya more than life itself and he deserves to be happy <3
You've seen the way Chuuya's eyes linger on the posters for the shelter as you pass, and you would be a fool to miss the way he slows down whenever you walk past a puppy in the street, relying on you holding his hand to make sure he doesn't walk straight into a lamppost.
It's adorable. One of the most dangerous men in Yokohama, a feared Port Mafia executive with a rap sheet longer than he is tall, and he can't help the little smile on his face whenever he sees a dog.
You know he's been quietly scheming for years at this point, trying to find to mesh his the demands of his work and his desire for a four legged companion. You can't watch any longer. You can't watch him find a litter of puppies, big smile on his face, only for that smile to fall into a sad frown as he reluctantly hands them over to the shelter.
So you make your own scheme. It involves some negotiation, and more than a little bribery, but you find a way to make it work. Now the only part left is surprising Chuuya, and that's your favourite part of the mission.
He doesn't suspect a thing as you lead him down the street, his fingers interlaced with yours and his hoodie wrapped around you. It's almost too easy to get him exactly where you want him and you know the moment he realises just where you are because he stops, tugging you to a halt with him.
You're in front of the door to the shelter, and your unoccupied hand is already on the handle. You've never seen those pretty blue eyes so cautiously hopeful and you have to hold back the most undignified noises at just how cute he looks.
"Why are we here?" His head tilts a little and you can't help but smile.
"We're getting a dog, obviously."
"What do you mean, 'obviously'? There's no way this will work out. I leave the apartment for days at a time, and you have to work too." That spark in his eye is dying out, and you don't like that at all.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing!" You release the door handle to playfully bop his nose, and a little laugh escapes you as he tries and fails to look put out at the action, "Mori-san said we can bring them into the office as long as they're well behaved, and Higuchi and Gin will look after them if we're both busy."
Chuuya just blinks at you, taking a moment to find his voice, "You ... you went to the boss about us getting a dog?"
You shrug; it really isn't a big deal - there's precious little you wouldn't do for one Nakahara Chuuya. The way he's staring at you like he's planning your wedding, though, suggests it might be a big deal to him.
Your voice softens as you smile at him, "You've wanted this for ages. I just want you to be happy."
The grin you get in return is nothing short of radiant, and you let out a little squeal as he lifts you up and spins you round. As quick as he does that, he's setting you back on your feet, grabbing your hand and all but dragging you into the building. You're not sure you've ever seen him this excited, and you quietly take in his joy, commiting every smile and every word to memory. After all, that's why you did all this - for him.
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Izzy Hands Is Manipulative, But Not That Way
...or I finally finish that long ass meta post about why I love the fucking Navy Plot lol
The Izzy manipulation debate has been really interesting to me pretty much since it started, because I'd see a post arguing he's manipulating Edward and go "No, and he couldn't if he tried" and then the next post would say he sucks at manipulation because he's a blunt fucking instrument and I'd go "Yea- wait. Hmm. No, he can be targeted and tricky as fuck." Which does, on its surface, seem like a contradictory stance, but I swear it works.
Because the thing with Izzy - and this is such a fun thing imo - is there are two core types of manipulation that characters engage in, and Izzy fucking sucks at the one you expect his style of antagonist to focus on. But he's scarily good at the other.
Long meta under the cut, so get comfy.
...
From his role under Edward to the protagonist vs antagonist dynamic setup to his introduction scenes, Izzy is very much invoking the conniving second in command. We know this character from other media. He doesn't have the full power he wants so he's constantly scheming to get it. He can't or won't challenge his boss for some reason, so he settles for being the devil on their shoulder or working behind their back. He's the voice constantly ready to inflame insecurities and turn relationship cracks into chasms, and usually he's lying constantly to do so. His fingerprints are all over his boss's problems up to the moment they show some weakness, and then their loyal second goes right for the backstab. He is THE ambitious manipulator. The shady advisor. The snake.
And then you actually look at Izzy and he is not that guy. In fact, it's a testament to the strength of Edward's character arc how much his evil little henchman is not causing his problems.
So - Izzy and manipulation:
Izzy Can't Convince People To Do Things
Like. He really can't.
This interpersonal struggle is fairly fundamental to his character. And moreover, it's a skill that Izzy is intensely aware that he lacks, so usually he doesn't even try.
In his first episode he walks right up to Buttons and just straight up asks him for the information on his party. He doesn't even resolve to steal the hostages until he realizes that Stede has lost them in the bush already, and Izzy obtains them by buying them. When Stede confronts him they end up splitting the pair in a very above-board negotiation and he pretty much just goes with what Stede suggests.
Then in 1x03, people make a big deal of Izzy "manipulating" Edward by not clarifying that Stede didn't know who he was when he turned down the invite, but kind of importantly he repeats the damning line of the conversation faithfully. If he was going to lie, then why not lie? Why even go see Stede at all? And, if he didn't want Stede dead until after the conversation (understandable, tbh, since "Iggy" was stab-worthy), surely he could invent a better insult to rile Edward up. It makes his omission hit more like being bitchy about Stede not recognizing the obvious - namely that Izzy Hands works for Blackbeard and literally everyone knows this - than a slander campaign to get him killed. And once we properly meet Izzy and Edward in 1x04, Izzy's inability to manipulate becomes his main struggle.
Izzy's a blunt and direct person. He leans on authority bestowed by Blackbeard to take control of situations, playing the role he's supposed to play, and without it he lacks a Plan B. In 1x04 he doesn't have any authority over Edward, so his efforts to get him to take the danger of the Spanish seriously amount to "Well as bored as you might be, if you don't make a decision soon we're gonna fucking die." And this is true! There might be a very subconscious attempt at manipulation in his resignation speech before the "That's Blackbeard. I'm Stede, remember?" line - of the piss him off to get him to get his shit together variety - but Edward literally makes a joke out of it so not exactly effective.
And once Edward stops giving Izzy authority in general, his plan to make Lucius do stuff is still just... brute force. Which works at first when Lucius doesn't realize that Izzy's on his own now, and stops working as soon as Fang breaks ranks. His last ditch blackmail attempt isn't manipulative either - he just plans to tell the truth to Pete and assumes he'll be pissed about it. My guy loses a fight over the pirate equivalent of making an uppity employee clean the coffee maker while the boss is out. Not only does he fail to manipulate the crew in a conniving antagonist way... he doesn't even try.
I mean, the only time he (somewhat) succeeds in talking someone into things is 1x06. Getting Edward to agree to killing Stede isn't really manipulation - Izzy gets Fang and Ivan to back him in a very straightforward way because they all actually do have a stake in this - but he's passably able to push Stede to go through with the fuckery via fake compliments. It's not exactly high level work, though. Stede being vulnerable to ego-stroking / dares is pretty obvious.
So what is Izzy good at?
Well, if you can't make people do anything other than what they were going to do in the first place, you might as well lean into that.
...
Izzy Manipulates Situations, Not People
Situational manipulation is one of those fictional tropes that rarely can happen in real life, but there's not much resemblance because real life rarely gives you all the building blocks for a proper gambit and lets you loose. Too many factors. In narratives, though? It becomes one of my favorite ways of having a character be clever.
And before I get into this too much, a really fun sidenote - I think Izzy does situational manipulation more like the way protagonists do it. See, antagonists are usually emotionally and situationally manipulative (ex: provoking the hero to lash out and using it to frame them for a bigger crime), but it's not a good look when your hero drives the target to do something bad and then punishes them for it. So heroes lean on stuff like Batman Gambits - where the lynchpin of the scheme is the target fucking themselves over by behaving completely in character. They've written Izzy so ineffective at emotional manipulation that he pretty much has to rely on other characters' flaws or histories to cause problems, which has a very similar result. And it's wild.
...
Going back to the 1x03 confrontation in Jackie's bar, Izzy doesn't really do anything abnormal in how he conducts himself, but people are picking up on an agenda for a reason. Namely, the whole damn conversation quickly turns into a trap, and Izzy fully sits back and watches Stede spring it from sheer idiocy.
There's no indication that when Izzy walked up he wasn't going to carry out his task with all the bitchy professionalism expected of him, while probably hoping that Stede would eventually stick his foot in his mouth without Izzy's help (assuming he's the kind of idiot Izzy thinks he is). His first section of this conversation is nearly polite:
Izzy (about the Nose Jar): "I have a few colleagues in there." Stede: "Ugh. You again." Geraldo: "Mr. Hands, welcome. It's been a while." Izzy: "(To Geraldo) Yeah, because I hate this fucking place. (To Stede) But for some inexplicable reason, my boss would like a word with you. Bonnet."
It's not until Stede starts talking that I think Izzy clues in that Stede doesn't actually know who his boss is. He didn't introduce himself until the literal last second of their 1x02 interaction, so it wasn't obvious Stede wasn't literally bolting into the forest in horrified realization.
And Stede? He goes hard on being a bitch right out the gate. Brushes Izzy off, tells him to "get in line", calls him the wrong name, says he doesn't care who Izzy is...
Izzy so far has met Stede in a public place, in front of people who clearly treat Izzy with respect and fear. He doesn't bring up their previous interaction, Stede does. He doesn't even goad Stede beyond existing. He corrects him on his name, and watches it not register in the slightest. The next line is the clincher:
Izzy (slightly incredulous): "So I'll tell my Captain that you're declining then, yeah?"
As Izzy is speaking the conversation becomes a trap - he chooses a reasonable way to refer to Edward that isn't "Blackbeard" and waits to see if Stede will make this worse. The jump from "no I'm busy" to "tell him he has terrible taste in flunkies and he can go suck eggs in Hell" is all Stede, completely ignoring context clues as Geraldo stares on in horror. Hell, Jackie only refrains from later de-nosing Stede on the spot because Geraldo knows what's up, and Stede still doesn't pick up on the fact he should maybe be asking some questions (though I'll give him the knife was distracting).
Izzy returns to the ship, quotes Stede directly for his damning line, and waits to see what Edward will do with it. It's not good behavior on his part (and if he could have seen the future he might have tried worse), but switching mid-conversation to offering Stede an opportunity to fuck himself over is a very different mindset than simply lying to / provoking Stede or Edward to get what he wants. He's mostly being petty.
Stede did insult Edward of his own volition, after all, and just because Izzy fudges the truth to hide he didn't know he was insulting Blackbeard instead of just Izzy and a random stranger doesn't change that. All Izzy did to "escalate" that conversation was give Stede a second opening to do so himself.
But there is a far better example of Izzy masterfully manipulating a situation than this in-the-moment bit of pettiness, so let's move onto my favorite bit... explaining in extensive and slightly awestruck detail why the Navy plot. Fucking. Rules. Because it does. Ready?
...
How to Mastermind the Decisive Removal of One Stupid Fucking Stede Bonnet Over Drinks
Ahem. The Navy plot. Masterclass in intimate betrayal. Izzy's biggest escalation in the total collapse of Edward and Izzy's relationship, but also a completely fucking fascinating glimpse into whatever tangled web of codependency they've got going on, because Edward isn't even mad after 1x09. This wordcount is going to be insane enough without me getting into the Blackhands relationship connotations, so I will... attempt... to stick to breaking down the actual scheme.
And what a scheme it was.
Let's start at the beginning. Jack showing up to lure them into the trap at the start of 1x08? Nope, earlier. Izzy getting kicked off the ship and going to Jackie at the end of 1x06? Further back. Edward proposing the "kill Stede" plan at the end of 1x04, which is the domino that starts all this, right? Closer, but still no.
Izzy's first appearance on screen is in episode 1x02, and that episode is where the seeds of the Navy plot are first planted. See, during Stede's confrontation with Izzy, both of the hostages chime in:
Hostage 1 (Wellington): "Believe him, he's quite insane." Hostage 2 (Hornberry): "He does have the eyes of a madman. Sorry, you do."
Wellington says his line in a tone of voice that clearly indicates a story to tell, and it should also be noted that he is the same one who earlier jumped at the chance to tell the tribe chief about Stede murdering their captain - Nigel. And he's the one that Izzy leaves with, in a sour mood and wanting information about this "Stede Bonnet" character.
When Izzy later reaches out to the Navy, it's no coincidence that he finds Chauncey. He's known since right after their first meeting that Stede was directly responsible for the murder of an Admiral's brother and that the English Navy would know soon enough, since he was literally about to ransom a hostage back to them who would tell the story. And he filed that information away until it was useful or relevant like a clever pirate should.
Moving on to Jackie's bar in 1x03, Izzy gets more potentially useful observations / inspiration. Jackie is actually the first person in the series to make a deal with a naval power. Izzy and crew track the Revenge to the Spanish warship, which means they must see Geraldo sold out Stede to them. Izzy isn't stupid. He knows Geraldo and Spanish Jackie, knows that she's the brains and brawn behind this deal, and has seen enough of Stede that he'd absolutely believe that he did something to get Jackie pissed enough to plot his murder. File away Jackie wants Stede dead and details of how she nearly succeeded in offing him for later.
Izzy spends 1x05 up to the fuckery demonstration observing Stede's crew while waiting for Edward to pull the trigger. I definitely want to note the scene where they interrogate the Frenchman at the beginning of 1x05, because Izzy is staring directly at Stede as he leans away from Edward threatening violence (we know this will later be in his love montage so not actually a turn off, lol, but like... it looked like one). His opinion of the crew is that they like to fuck around without structure (1x05 during the party), probably that they enjoy more standard pirate levels of violence (not shown directly since they are kept out of the 1x05 raid, but fairly obvious), and that they are really easily awestruck by the chance to hear "real pirates" tell charismatic stories (1x06 ghost story).
Any of that sounding like someone we know?
And now to go back to Izzy in 1x06, when he gets sick of Edward being cagey about the plan to kill Stede and decides to "make" him stop stalling, he's straightforward again. Getting Ivan and Fang to back him isn't emotionally manipulative, but it does give him weight in the conversation. They are the ones who bring up the whole "love of a pet makes a man weak" thing, and they do it in the context of calling out hypocrisy. Izzy knows the standards Edward holds his crew to. He lets them convince Edward it's time.
Taking the chance to suggest Stede try a fuckery is a strong blend of situational and emotional manipulation, and later challenging him to a formal duel knowing he'd be overconfident enough to accept is more situational again. Even the terms of the duel are designed to take advantage of the situation. And then Izzy loses in the most comedy way possible, Edward lets him get banished, and Izzy decides that if he was ok with just sending Stede Bonnet on his way to fuck-off before... he's fucking gonna kill him now.
My guy is not a creative thinker, but he's definitely a logistical one. And as he rows away from that ship, all the pieces fall into place.
First, Spanish Jackie. Who listens to him bemoan his relationship woes because she likes him (Izzy gets Jackie in the divorce). Who wants Stede dead and has the clout to summon and deal with a distasteful ally - Chauncey. Together, they concoct an arrangement where a trap will be set and Chauncey gets Stede and only Stede. This isn't a tip-off or a free-for-all. Stede comes from Chauncey's world and they are sending him back. Permanently.
Then it's time for the trap itself, which needs to do two things: get the Revenge somewhere that Chauncey can corner it, and get Edward out of there. And Izzy? Izzy knows Edward. Knows there's one particular person in his past that will have no trouble integrating with the crew, getting Edward to act more like a pirate than a gentleman, and who happens to have a great ambush location on hand.
I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I don't think outside characters realize how hard and fast Edward is falling for Stede. The BlackBonnet bonding moments happen almost exclusively when they are alone. The place Izzy dramatically fails to manipulate the situation is not having the evidence he would need to predict Edward going back for Stede. He (and Jack) both think that a precise wedge between BlackBonnet - one that Jack delivers near flawlessly by playing into real issues - will be enough to remind Edward that Stede isn't his people. This isn't a plan to murder the love of Edward's life while his back is turned. It's a plan to get rid of Stede, and remind Edward why he was on board with doing that in the first place. "That's fair," Izzy says about a punch to the face.
Instead, Izzy's plot accidentally backs Edward into a corner and forces him to publicly pull a grand-gesture relationship level-up that he was not emotionally ready for, and the fallout from that explosion is way worse than any of our conspirators were counting on.
Still... you gotta admit. It was a really good plan.
#our flag means death#i still really want to know when fang and ivan showed up to all this#like it's fascinatingly crazy that they looked at allllllll this insanity and were like. this seems like it's between izzy and the boss#did they go with him to find calico jack? did they sit at the table while izzy laid out the whole crew's potential weak points???#the navy plot#izzy hands ofmd#izzy hands#ofmd meta#my meta#ofmd 1x09#ofmd 1x02#ofmd 1x03#ofmd 1x04#ofmd 1x06#ofmd 1x08#spanish jackie ofmd#chauncey badminton ofmd#calico jack ofmd#stede bonnet ofmd#ladyluscinia
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A little bit of mumbling about the Full Moon episode and Stolitz drama
ALERT: multiple Helluva Boss spoilers, so, please, be advised
Yea, it's another episode of "I can't get over relationship issues of a red lizard and a tall owl", so buckle up, and let me give my share of thoughts about how important was what we have seen in the "Full Moon" episode.
I appeciate if you read it, because it's quite big and I realise, that not much people like longreads, but I desperately wanted it out, and I wanted to try to engage with HB community, as I saw so many wonderful points, analysis, and observations out here.
So... let's go, I guess!
The Growth Concept
Once, my therapist told me, that sometimes, the only way to grow and do better is to face a challenge you cannot avoid anymore, albeit desperately would want to. We do not grow, when everything is convenient and stable, no matter whether "stable" means stability or stalling. We grow, when life pushes us to do so, when we have nowhere to run anymore. When there is... when there is just no other way.
The Full Moon meeting, albeit infinitely sad and hurting, was the challenge for them to become the better versions of themselves. Stolas caused the rumbling, something you cannot take back anymore, something which couldn't be returned to status quo. It was very brave of him to do so, to give the chance to be open and vulnerable for a change.
"It's... we're not... it's not a... It's a transactional fucking, you see" - S1EP5. As you may witness here, in S2EP8, exhibit A is clearly not happy with the transactional deal ending in his favor
But could it be better than that?
Even before the episode came out, I don't think anyone had expectations for the meeting to not turn out ugly. Trailer already hinted at that, and, besides, their earlier interactions gave nothing of "let's communicate" vibe.
Stolas was not clear about wanting to talk their issues out, the viewer was the only one who knew he longs for that. Yes, you may say that Stolas *suggested* to discuss what happened at Ozzie's, as we have seen at the end of the "Western Energy" episode, but immediately retreated after, I am sorry, a simple question "why?". It does not mean "no", yet, Stolas instantly gave up and fell into one-side poor explanation of what he thinks happened, not giving Blitzø space to engage.
People also like to mention Blitzø's one-liners of an answer, implying him not wanting to do anything with Stolas, but I want to point out how Stolas himself bolted out of every opportunity to meet. Blitzø never said "no" clearly, and still Stolas cut every opportunity out.
Notice also how Stolas's messages are much more complicated and over-explaining, while Blitzø's are extra short and on point. I think it also shows in how different environments they were raised in, with Stolas knowing royal etiquitte, where everything is a sub-text, intrigue, rules, and no one is quite clear on intentions, and Blitzø not giving second thought about what leaves his mouth, or, in the case of messages, textbox. It's not only in their ability to simply write grammatically accurate, it's in their style of communication, culture even, where the problems of Stolas is to play the politics, and Blitzø's problem is to simply stay on float for another day.
And Blitzø? Hell, my poor man is deaf, blind, mute, and emotionally illiterate. It took Fizz 40 seconds to crack the case open in the "Oops" episode, and Blitzø didn't even pick up on it, despite being said twice he is wrong about Stolas. He would never come to *that* conclusion himself, even if the whole show cast will scream "STOLAS LOVES YOU" in his face. How can you expect him to even try to comprehend hints in behaviour and messages? And don't be fooled by his "it's only transactional, you see" moments - when he never says he is into Stolas, the show gave us plenty material to doubt that statement. He averts his gaze, saying "it's only a deal", hence he lies. He blushes when seeing Stolas's human form, hence he likes him. He is offended and hurt by Ozzie's accident, hence he cares. He crawls himself on knees and is not bothered by chains, hence he wants to belong to Stolas. He doesn't voice his desires once, but you know they are there.
So, no, before that night, they had no chance of getting better, because they were too deep in their own trauma and world view. I want to make that clear, just in case if someone still wishes it went better.
And that leads us to the Full Moon, where all cards were out
There is plenty of analysis already all over the Internet on every frame of the show, how beautifully it's written, and how masterfully it was performed, when you can see so much in each tail flinch, each face expression, each movement, and each word. I won't go into that, I think I would be rather repeating things said so many times by so many observant fans.
What I want to add, though, is... The fail was unavoidable, but necessary. It was not preventable because of many things, also explained many times... But, shortly, just to carry on the point, you cannot undo years of trauma, self-hatred, and abandoment issues in one night. You cannot revert all of the mess they already created with the whole deal thing.
But you can face the issue. You can stand up to it. You can break the wrong and to try to rebuild to do it right.
And that's what Stolas did. He stood up not only to his fears, but also to Blitzø's, and his desperate attempts to retain status quo.
Stolas challenged both of them.
And a small note: another thing which went wrong is how much of a shock it came out to Blitzø. Stolas was ready to face the challenge, because he couldn't take it anymore, he planned that night for weeks. Blitzø was not ready for that at all, but Stolas pushed him to the point of no return, and Blitzø was forced to adapt to the new reality in seconds.
Their reactions make so much sense. While Stolas was ready, there is a difference between being ready to face it, and being capable of facing it gracefully, and Blitzø... well, he didn't even have a minute to internalize all what's going on, and Stolas being for once extremely clear in intentions didn't help, because trigger already kicked in.
But is it that bad, really?
No, I don't think so. In fact, that fight they had was even good for them.
As tragic as it was, they got something out of it. Now there is no space for doubts about them having feelings for each other. Sure, they might be adamant about other wrong assumptions, that their partner now hates them and they are trash of a hellbeing, or whatever else they heard instead of what's actually been said, but, again, there is no doubt it's fucking serious. They cannot pretend or hide anymore that this is "just a deal".
That exchange opened the space for them to grow. Despite me feeling like I was stabbed after watching the episode, I am... even glad it turned out this way, because now, when all the words are said, all crutches broken, old wounds are opened and actively bleeding, there is a chance for them to heal, and to learn how to walk, not allowing their trauma to shape who they seem to be and inhibit their real selves.
There is now hope for them. You can clearly see them being vulnerable in the last trailer, and being together, on one couch, at least... one can only hope that they will have the capacity of having just one more proper talk.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk, I know I speak too much, and no, I am not okay, but I hope it was at least a bit entertaining for you :d Also, English is not my first language, soooo... cut me some slack with grammar and consistency, please, haha
Happy to carry on the great mission of overanalyzing every bit of information we have about them XD
#here i am hyperfixating again#overanalyzing shit and never having enough#helluva boss#stolitz#stolas#blitzø#vivziepop#stolas x blitz#blitzo#full moon
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Body a Day 23: Want
After 15 years, I'm finally done with my compulsory service to the Nation. They asked me to serve the bigger cause all these years, practically telling me that I need to do the assigned task to prove that my loyalty to the cause and the nation is unwavered. So when they wanted me to get inside the drug mule, I did that
I even partially served the sentence the person got because the mission involved me gathering intel from inside the prison. Then, I moved on to this renowned pastor that visited the prison sometimes around the sixth year I've been inside the mule as the directive basically told me that I need to learn to communicate to the masses.
I did some substantial damage there as during my mission, the commanding officer stationed close to the pastor practically asked me to infect the masses. As a venomous being, my spit only caused human to become delirious, so I received a package from the Nation that sealed the deal for me. It's the more potent and rare venom that can infect the other being exposed to it, and despite its animalic scent at first, it blended beautifully to the wine I served during Christmas. It's quite a spectacle to see all of the human flailed on the floor having no clue what the fuck happened to them, but after doing it for 3 or 4 years, I'm simply desensitized by it. But right when Christmas is around the corner 3 years ago, I received my final mission
It's been the most challenging one and I'm so fucking lucky I managed to get out from the whole shit alive. I mean....let's be real, there's not many of my kind that ended up inside some kind of druglord mercenaries. And only a handful of us that survived such challenging mission, especially due to the fact that when we're inside something, we quickly become them and it means that I'm no bulletproof whatsoever when I used Gary's body
Eventually, after lots of close call and raids, I can finally do what I really want. The last directive only filled with congratulatory notes on finishing 15 years of service and the choices I have. I can return to my planet because I've proven myself to be loyal and no more persuaded by causes that can harm the Nation or I can stay on Earth and simply choose the body I want to stay for good. Yup, for good, because I still need to be registered to the system but they won't keep a tab on me. Knowing what the government is capable off back there, I know the chance for me to live peacefully with my family is slim, so I decided to wire them my last message and ditch Gary's for another body
I stumbled with him 3 days prior to my last day. The big boss is having some down time in Cancun so I tagged along and that's when I spotted Evan. A fit fella, probably in his early 20s based on his build and clearly living the life I desired with a lovely supportive family with money to blow. Evan gave no resistance whatsoever when I cornered him in the restaurant's restroom, his face filled with fear when I pressed the knife right at his muscular back. Before he even realized it, I already slid inside his shorts and made my way in, forever sealing myself inside this young stud while Gary's body slumped to the floor after 3 years of being used as a puppet with no bodily control whatsoever.
Life is finally good, and I can do whatever I want without anyone telling me orders.
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Right so solargeist's really fleshed out watcher headcannons/ au got me thinking
and an idea that's been floating in my head for a while now is 'Grian was always a watcher'. Honestly it was probably originally inspired by the "He was only ever meant to watch", obviously it's about Grian being a watcher as of the end of Evo but also "only ever" made me think.
So we know the watchers thrive off of entertainment and bad emotions, and probably also chaos (aka Grian incarnate). So in my headcanon they 'recruit' young players to go onto servers and worlds and inspire chaos or entertainment that would please the watchers to, well, watch. These recruits would be taught skills/ powers like shapeshifting and other typical fanon watcher abilities to help them stay under the radar on the servers they go to.
So what if Grian was one of these recruits and was sent to worlds like yhs and any other worlds he was on before Evo to create entertainment for the watchers. He enjoys the chaos, likes having the friends and storylines he makes on these servers, and definitely likes the powers that come with the job. Soon Grian's one of their best recruits and possibly one of their most powerful, mastering shapeshifting almost immediately.
And Evo is the big one. Grian is properly undercover, pretending to not know who the watchers are and adding more people to the server (Taurtis and Pearl who both joined late) for them to feed off of. It's also Grian's world, which adds a lot of responsibility but also alot of power. The watchers originally just watched and kept an eye on Grian but started meddling when they realised "Hey, the admin isn't going to stop us or look into it, we're his boss!" and when they realised the entertainment that would come with players dealing with god-like beings they don't quite understand.
Grian's all up for this, he of course knows what the watchers are. And while he's a bit miffed whenever they punish him for something (see putting obsidian on his chests and making a clay statue he isn't allowed to mine), He plays along and enjoys being able to do his own thing on a world for the most part.
Then Grian joins Hermitcraft. Maybe the watchers sent him there too, or maybe it was him trying to get away from the responsibilities of his job. Either way, Grian being on two servers at once means the chaos is more spread out and less noticeable, so the watchers recall him, pretending to the other evolutioners that they are making G one of them (end dragon fight on evo). Evo sort of fizzles out and the watchers become bored of it. Most people escape to other worlds or servers, Martyn gets plucked out by the listeners, and the world is forgotten and overgrows again.
Grian continues to make chaos on Hermitcraft. Again, either the watchers telling him to, old habits dying hard, or just because he wants to.
Anyways, from then it's basically what you actually see happens, plus Martyn's lore, and anything that makes more entertainment or chaos is either the watchers or Grian. Grian if it seems harmless just fun and interesting, ans the watchers if it seems a bit more extreme (boogeyman and red bloodlust) or is obviously watcher-y (secret keeper)
I might flesh this out further, but yeah this is basically what I've been thinking about for the past few days
#text#stargazostli#grian#life series#hermitcraft#hermitblr#trafficblr#watcher grian#watchers#evo watchers#evo smp#martyn littlewood#grian headcannon#watcher headcannon#if anyone has anything to add please do!
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okay, so I finally finished the Barbra Streisand memoir. I learned a lot and I developed a great deal of respect for her because she is clearly an extremely talented person, but also...it was a slog to get through. It was really interesting to me the picture I got of her talent and influence and how hard she works but also how much she...isn't someone I actually wanted to spend time with? lol
BEWARE, LOTS OF VENTING ABOUT THIS BOOK BELOW, DON'T READ IF YOU IDOLIZE HER
It was also extra-interesting because I don't usually read memoirs, and this year I read three, and I think I assumed that all memoirs would be so sanitized as to not really give me much of a picture of the people behind them, like, Idk, I assumed they'd all be so slanted toward the person whose memoir it was that it wouldn't be like I could actually come to any conclusion about the person from the memoir. So, for instance, when I finished reading "Spare," I was like, okay, sure, Charles and William seem like awful people, but how much can I trust Harry's account of things? But then I finished reading the Barbra Streisand memoir and it made me like Harry even more lol, I was like, no, he is clearly a very sympathetic person, because not everyone tells their story in a way that makes you always on their side.
I should be clear, like, it's not like Barbra Streisand comes across as a monster or anything like that. As I said, it's very clear she's very talented and has worked very hard and had to deal with a lot of sexism throughout her career. But it's also clear that she's a very particular type of person who thinks that everyone else should spend all of their time working, and if they have a life outside of work, that person is immediately suspect and she never wants to work with them ever again. She tells story after story where she's like, "I sent him the script on Friday afternoon. He said he was just walking out the door for a weekend away, but he would get back to me on Sunday or Monday when he got back. Disappointing." Yup, that director was fired shortly thereafter. She's making a record and she asks this guy to be her producer, and she keeps them all in the studio basically night and day, and at one point she sees him looking at his watch, clearly impatient to, you know, go home to his family, and she's like, "Welp, I'll never work with that guy again." She's directing a movie and she wants everyone to stay late to film something and the crew is like, "No. We're not staying late. We're going home," and she's so betrayed by this. She says they all would have stayed if she'd been a male director. She might indeed be right about that. But that doesn't mean that her attitude that everyone around her needs to work around the clock is justified, just because guys treat their employees that way, too. She doesn't tell these stories because she thinks she comes across as a jerk, and that to me was what was so telling about them. Maybe because I've worked for bosses who truly do take offense when you want to have a life outside of work, and I decided those people just weren't for me. It's cool if that's how you want to live your life, but this is probably why I just had this sort of visceral reaction against her. But it was interesting to me that I had that reaction at all! Like, it's her life story and she could make herself look as awesome as possible, you know?
Also, the picture of someone who hit it big when she was like 20 and has been fawned over ever since was just so tiring. It's a thousand pages of this. EVERY SINGLE STORY SHE TELLS IS JUST EXHAUSTING.
She acts the part of Juliet for Lee Strasberg, the guy who invented method acting. He tells her she's the best Juliet he's ever seen.
She directs Yentl and shows it to Steven Spielberg. He tells her that he wishes he could offer her some advice but he can't because it's the perfect movie and he has zero notes. She's the best director ever.
She's researching mental illness and goes to see mentally ill patients. Worried about how she should interact with them, she asks the doctor, "Am I doing this right?" The doctor says most people get it wrong, but she has gotten it right. She's even the best at interacting with mentally ill people. She's a natural at everything!
Like, literally, every single story is like this. By the time she was designing dresses better than Donna Karan and then taking credit for Bill Clinton's reelection strategy, I was just like, I can't anymore lolololol. Then she has this rant at one point about how people can't handle truth but she thinks telling the truth is always the best option and I wanted to be like, ....she thinks this because she thinks the "truth" is always that she is literally the best person who has ever tried to do everything ever. I mean, maybe she is! But the fact that she doesn't realize that it's not like this for the rest of us is just exhausting.
My most illustrative story of this: She tells this story about how she was away traveling and she hired some gardeners to put chrysanthemums out on her NYC penthouse terrace while she was away. She requested pink and white chrysanthemums. When she got back, they had planted rust and yellow chrysanthemums. She is HORRIFIED. She calls up the gardener in outrage and the gardener is like, "They didn't have pink and white, so we just put in rust and yellow." She says they should have asked for permission before making that substitution.
Okay, so far, I guess so normal-ish story, like, still seems like a little bit of an overreaction but she's probably right that they should have checked on the color change, Idk, I don't have gardeners planting mums for me, so I've never thought about how I would react to that lololol. BUT THEN. THE STORY GOES ON. She is so, so offended by these mums that SHE CANNOT BEAR TO EVEN LOOK AT THEM. She draws all the curtains in her penthouse and sits basically in gloom and darkness, sulking about these mums. Then one of her friends comes over and doesn't know she's having this fit about the mums and is like, "It's a beautiful day! Why do you have all the curtains drawn!" and starts opening the curtains and......THE MUMS ON THE TERRACE ARE NOW PINK AND WHITE.
Now. You know what the explanation for this is? Probably the gardener she yelled at came back and replaced the mums for her because she was freaking out so much. But you know what Barbra's explanation for this is?
When you want something so badly, the universe finds a way of giving it to you.
............
Sorry, I find that so unbearably obnoxious, this idea she has that either (a) the rest of us just don't want wealth and success and adulation and talent as much as she did; or (b) the universe loves her so specially much that it changes the colors of flowers for her???????? I cannot believe she thought this was a story that she needed to include in her memoir, because I found it so uniquely horrifying a story. And it also made me think differently about her relationship with her mother. She doesn't like her mother. I'm not being cruel here, she literally says it right in the book: she doesn't like her mother. She tries to paint this picture of her mother as being jealous and resentful of Barbra. And maybe she is. There are certainly bits in the story where she seems to be. But there are other bits where she's not. Barbra focuses in on a concert that the mother missed, and it does seem super-rude and insulting and offensive and I was horrified. But then later on, her mother is at another concert and she just gives it this passing mention, like, no big deal, so...it's not that her mother never went to concerts? Or something? And then she admits that her mother kept a scrapbook of Barbra's entire career from the very beginning, and I think maybe we're meant to see that she did that so could seethe over it and hope to throw bad reviews back in Barbra's face or something, but it just seems also like maybe her mom was proud of her? And the reason I think that I get that they had a fraught relationship is because Barbra keeps making snide little comments, like, "It's not my fault that my mom didn't work harder to be famous herself." Like it's just that easy. Like you just snap your fingers and you become famous. It was that easy for Barbra, and so she assumes that the rest of us just don't want it enough. One of the stories she tells about her mother throwing a tantrum is after she gives her a book about 1940s movie stars that she inscribes, "This could have been you, Mom!" And in the memoir Barbra is like, "I truly believed that my mother could have been a movie start if she'd just tried for it. She was so beautiful and talented." .......THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. And I kind of totally get why her mother was offended by Barbra just kind of endlessly judging her as lazy for not going out and getting herself a more fabulous life Idk.
Anyway. It was just interesting to me that the more I read the story of this life, the more I could see the seams of it, so to speak? Like, in revealing what she thought she was revealing, she was revealing so much more to me, if that makes sense? Like, she said that people are constantly demeaning her as "controlling," when she's just trying to make the best product she can, and I get that, but also every story she relates she's like, "I told the lighting guy how to do his job and then he got offended." And I'm just like, Well, you're running around constantly telling people how to do their jobs. When those jobs are not your job and arguably they are the experts. But she doesn't seem to treat anyone with basic deference, because she's so used to knowing better than everyone else. She never phrases it as, I asked the lighting guy to light me this way, which was telling in and of itself. She always tells them. There's one point where she describes making two accomplished screenwriters live in her guesthouse for a week and work night and day on this screenplay, and she just casually is like, "I told them which scenes each one of them should write, and sometimes I told them to write the same scene and I'd pick the best one," and I was just, like, horrified at the idea of these two accomplished people being forced to work around the clock as this woman literally pits them against each other? She framed this as an exciting collaborative project but the words she used to explain what her role in the collaboration were made it clear that no, she was the boss in the position of power ordering them around. Maybe, in a way, she just never has grasped how much power she had over other people, because of imposter syndrome or something, Idk.
This is all to say: It made me rethink how I was reacting toward Spare. Which wasn't to say I thought Prince Harry was lying, just that I thought maybe his version of the truth was skewed toward justifying his own behavior. But after reading the Barbra Streisand memoir, I've realized that, actually, that might be harder to do and maintain over hundreds of pages than I realized. I finished Spare liking Prince Harry more than I did when I started it, and now I like him even more lol
(I haven't talked much about the Britney Spears memoir, largely because I have concluded that that memoir is just such an acute picture of a traumatized soul who hasn't even begun to heal. I wish her well. Harry is also a traumatized soul but he's had literal decades of working on healing so his memoir hits different that way, while still being so clearly about his trauma, all the same)
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Dealing
(Short story for @swappingbryn, check them out they're p cool!)
I was never really one for police, always thinking they're some abusive force. Really just never liked them. But one of my old friends got arrested last night and wanted me to talk to him. Or at least try... I wasn't too keen on that either but he said he would pay me back. So you know what? I did.
I went to the station and saw him, he looked... different from when I saw him last. Buffer, had a beard going for him, short hair... really seemed tougher. And so I asked him the question that got on my mind "And... what did you get put in jail for?" It was a simple question.
"Do I really have to say?" He grumbled.
"Kinser, just tell me already."
He sighed and started to recollect. "Okay but first? I need you to take one of these." He smiled as he pushed a pill through the small slot in the booth. It was labeled KR-0034.
I looked at him nervously before sighing and putting it in my mouth... god... tasted like ass... like sweat or something. I felt somewhat sick and looked at him, he was happy. "Okay, dude. Good. You're gonna be a big help out there."
"What do you -Urgh!" I felt my chest tingle before feeling like I got shot... my muscles were tightening, expanding, growing! My arms went from scrawny to giant! Just like... his? My face... my jaw started to get sore, some drool going down before my stubble grew as my chin grew some definition.
My hair shrunk to a buzz kind of style. I was a giant... but in the reflection of the glass I saw Kinser's face. "What did you..."
"Aight, so I'm gonna need to tell you this quick so the guards don't hear." He snapped drawing my attention. "Yeah I just gave you a cloner tablet. Made with my spit. You now look just like me. You know that job I got? The construction yard? Well I got promoted. I was given enhancements by my boss. That's how I'm as perfect as ya see me." What the fuck was he talking about? "And now... I'm recruitin you for the time being. You are gonna deal in my place until I get out."
Deal? As in... "Like what I was sellin. I snuck my phone in here... so I'll text the boss that you'll be comin later... Kaleb. We're gonna be cool about this right?" He waited. "Right, Kaleb?" I nodded... I felt a buzz... it was a location. "Blue maple is where they're meetin tonight. Don't be late for your first day."
4 MONTHS LATER
By now I was intertwined with the gang that I was forced into joining. They know me as Kaleb Pennimen. Another dumb dealer for them. The bosses like me, and Kinser? Well he's still in jail but we talk more than I ever had before. He's acting dumb now too... says it's part of the pill or whatever. I used to try and understand these things but now? I just sell em. Way easier that way. Thinkin isn't really for us now... So what are ya gonna do? You buyin or what? I don't have all night.
#alpha male tf#alpha muscle#jock#jock tf#male body swap#male tf#male transformation#mental transformation#mtm tf#alpha jock#drug tf#dealer tf#bad boy tf#druggie tf#muscle tf#male to male#male#hot male
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Being Seeley Booth's Best friend Headcanons:
Paring: Seeley Booth x Platonic!Reader, reader x Lance Sweets
Summary: headcanons on what it's like to have Seeley Booth as your Person(greys fans know what I mean)
1.8) “not all soul mates are lovers”
MasterList
To the unknown or to strangers that see you on the street, might think your a couple. Sure your touchy with each other but your both strictly best friends and it's all Platonic.
Your Hodgins little cousin if your wondering, but your the first one at the jeffersonian Booth really clicked with.
You guys kinda became an unlike duo and people knew he was basically your body guard.
Like I said before you guys are close, so that means your arms might be linked sometime, you'll eat or drink after each other... You guys are just really comfortable with each other.
At time you do think you guys might be too close, like your afraid it might screw up your actual relationships.
“you think our friendship bothers Bones and Lance?” you asked.
“it doesn't bother Bones... She told me she'd figured if we we're attracted to each other we'd already be together”
You guys have been friends longer than you guys been in your romantic relationships, so Lance nor Temperance has an actual problem.
Lance might get jealous at times, like he might think Seeley is more attractive or he'll think you guys would make a better couple. You'll make sure to get those thoughts out of his head and you make sure Lance knows he's the only guy for you.
Lance knows your friendship is strictly Platonic, hell Seeley even helped you guys admit your feelings for one another.
The thought of you guys being more than friends grosses you guys out. You guys maybe comfortable with each other and might have shared a bed, but the thought of having sex disterbs the both of you.
“ew... She's literally like a sister to me!”
If you have a problem and you can't tell Lance you go to Seeley, you know he'll never judge you.
The feeling is mutual, he'll go to you if he has to vent about the army, work, or if he needs advice on how to deal with Temperance.
You are now the soul keeper of his dog tags, you wear them for good luck.
You guys say many things to show your affection, some loving and some inappropriate(you know its all love tho). You say things like, “love ya”, “suck it”, “hey, loser”, “shut it bitch”
Of course you usually call him 'bitch'. He knows it's a joke but he can't bring himself to call you that back.
His brother having the hots for you, but he actually really creeps you out. Before you started dating Lance his brother would hit on you when he visited DC, you told Seely about it and he got his brother to back off.
Nicknames are all over the the place, but your favorite one for him is 'bub'. He calls your 'shorty' or 'kid'.
Since your a 'squint' you say words he doesn't understand and sometimes he tries to talk like you a fails. “I need a.. What do you call it, I swabie thing”
“a what?” you asked as he digged through your drawers in the Lab.
He sighs. “come on, I have to figure out what you say everyday and you can't figure out 'swabie thing'?”
Some people do question your relationship and even try to get you guys to turn on each other or even try to tamper with your romantic relationship(*cough* Daisy *cough*)
“he's my person,”
He's very protective of you... Sometimes it gets annoying but you know he means we'll.
“if you ever touch her again, I WILL kill you!”
You guys do have fights, it's rare but if it happens it gets really heated. The fights are mostly about your guys stupidity at work.
“you could have died! You realize that?” he shouted.
“your not the boss of me! Your not my father!”
“well, if I was you wouldn't be this stupid!” he'll regret it immediately. If there was one thing he never want you to think is that your stupid.
He knows your knowledge is an insecurity. You feel like your not as smart as the others, so Seeley is always there to hype you up and remind you of the big brain you have.
Most of the time you guys will immediately make up. He'll pull you into a massive hug and tell you he's sorry over and over.
Speaking of hugs, he gives the best bear hugs. His hug make you feel extremely safe.
Being each other's best man/woman at your guys weddings.
You are the designated babysitter for both Parker and Christine. They both call you 'Aunty y/n'
Him and Temperance babyset your Kids when ever they can.
You guys love blasting music and just jam out in the car or at your apartments.
He's your shoulder to cry on, I think he's the only one aside from Lance that really seen you absolutely lose it.
His grandfather basically adopting you and you call him pops like Seeley dose. Sometime Hank will leave the nursing home just to check in on you and Lance.
You go to alot of crime scenes together, you have the same job as your cousin Hodgins, but if Temperance can't go with him to investigate you'll Tag along.
There's nothing he wouldn't do for you. You, Bones, and christine are his world.
He's got your back and he'll die if it ment protecting you.
Angela once said this about you two: “not all soulmates are lovers”
She's not wrong, your the sister he never had or asked for.
You'll never have a friend like him and you don't plan on getting ride of him anytime soon.
#Seeley Booth x reader#Seeley Booth#Agent booth#Bones#Headcanons#Seeley Booth imagines#Best friends#Lance Sweets#Lance Sweets x reader#Bones headcanons#Temperance Brennan
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𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀
Trent Alexander-Arnold x reader
Word count: 1.7k
Summary: Trent isn't very good at keeping your relationship a secret, especially not around his noisy teammates.
Warnings: Just fluff and a small hint of angst but not really
Notes: Trent is literally my favorite person to write for x
The training was finally done and all Trent wanted to do now was go home and snuggle up to you. He was tired and wet, the cloudy day not lifting his mood in any way.
He threw his phone down on the bench not caring that it went past his bag before going to the showers.
He was the quickest getting ready, throwing his clothes down and drying off his hair before lacing his shoes, ready to go when Henderson stopped him.
"Hey, don't forget your ph-" he cut himself off as the screen lit up "Hey who is this?" he questioned, turning the phone up to study it for real. Andy who was next to Henderson leaned over to look for himself while Trent stood frozen.
"Hey let me see" Virgil cut in, and soon everybody was passing the phone around, everyone staring at Trent who looked around the room, his tongue poking out from the side.
"Wait, is that-is that y/n?!" Virgil exclaimed as he got the phone again, studying it really close causing Henderson and Ox to throw themselves over the phone again to study the picture closer "It is! Trent you have some explaining to do!" Henderson called.
"Okay, fuck just give me my phone back you idiots" Trent groaned, snatching it back and turning it off. Closing the picture he had as a background. He had just switched it yesterday, the picture taken of the two of you at Trent's parents house last weekend, you were sitting on the couch together, smiling at each other as he is kissing your temple. He loved that photo and thought it was a cute background but now he remembered why he had a simple background before, you kept your relationship low-key.
Trent threw the phone down in the bag, wanting to leave but there was no reason to even try with the way everyone looked at him.
Everybody knew who you were as you were friends with many of the team, you knew Klopp and was therefore often watching training and matches. Sometimes assisting the trainers out and just being around.
That was how you'd met Trent. After a late training he had stayed a bit longer on the pitch where you had been, the two of you had begun talking and then he'd driven you home with the promise of meeting you again. He had kept his promise and after that you'd met up frequently, slowly fallen in love with the right-back defender.
After you became official you decided to keep it on the low, both for media and for everyone in the team, just wanting to be you for a little while.
"Explain!" Virgil demanded, sitting relaxed on the bench, legs wide spread and a small smirk on his face.
"Well.. we're dating okay!" Trent explained, groaning at the collective gasps from his teammates "Since when! And why haven't you told us?!"
"Since two months back and because we decided not to, at least not yet"
"You've hid your relationship for two months, what!" Ox close to gasped which made Trent groan out a chuckle "Come on guys, it's no big deal, we wanted to keep it easy and not pressure it before we knew anything for real"
"Man, you've gotta take her to guys night soon" Ox grinned, cutting the tension slightly "Yeah yeah, maybe, anyway can I go now?" he asked sarcastically making the guys boo at him "Sure" Robby grinned, Trent rolled his eyes annoyed by them and their stupid grins.
"Have you fucked her yet?" "Are you married?" "Do you have secret kids?"
"Shut up and don't talk about her like that" Trent grunted before exiting the changing room feeling even more bitter than before.
You were laying on the couch when Trent entered the apartment. You had been working from home, sorting all types of documents and numbers for your boss and now you were just finishing up in front of the tv.
"Hey love" you grinned as you saw his face in the door opening. "Hey" he muttered back, making you frown as he flopped down on the couch, face in your lap
"Hey, what's wrong" you asked softly, scratching his neck gently. "The boys found out about the two of us" he muttered after a second, not wanting to meet your eyes "What" you huffed, making him look up at you with a worried look.
"They saw my phone-background and put one and one together, everybody knows" You sat quite for a little while, processing the news but you didn't notice it made Trent anxious as he waited for you to say something, anything.
"Are you mad?" he said lowly meeting your eyes carefully "What, no no no, I were just-...thinking about what we will do, who we will be open to and if we should become official" you hummed, slowly threading your fingers through his hair to reassure him it was fine.
You were not mad, not at all. You both knew you wouldn't be able to keep it hidden forever and it was never really about hiding it either but more about being just you, getting to know each other and your relationship. But now multiple months had passed and you knew him and your relationship well by now and it felt like your relationship could survive the publicity.
Plus it was only his teammates, the guys you knew well and were sure they wouldn't tell it to the media. It was actually pretty nice that they knew so you would no longer have to hide and sneak around them with your relationship.
"Do you want to become official?" Trent asked, his eyes holding a little shocked glance. "I don't know" you hummed sweetly, kissing his forehead. "I think it would be possible to go official" you thought out loud "What do you mean?" "Like, the reason why we kept it to us where because we wanted to be sure and do it in our time but now I guess or relationship is strong enough to hold that kinda thing and we've already figured us out and I don't think it would destroy us as it could've before." Trent hummed, nodding a little "that's true but do you want that? Do you want to deal with all the media?" his voice was cold and almost dismissive, like what you said was stupid.
You frowned slightly, retreating your hands from his head which made him react, looking at you with an equal frown.
"Do you not want to be official with me?" you asked, slightly offended and hurt.
When he didn't answer you scoffed, pushing his head from you and standing up, ignoring his call of your name as you walked to the kitchen, roughly taking out a coffee mug from the cupboard.
"Babe" Trent sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist but you shrugged him off, really annoyed. "Babe I didn't mean it like that don't be sour" he pleaded but you already where. Pouring up the coffee you'd made earlier and slamming it into the microwave.
"I just.. I've just been thinking" he said carefully, not wanting to upset you anymore. "What" you barked "what the fuck have you been thinking off"
"I just.. can we please just sit down and talk about this" he sighed
"Sure" you huffed, taking out your cup and walking back into the living room, sitting down in the love-seat this time.
Trent sighed, knowing he had talked to fast.
He squatted down in front of you, not liking the annoyed look you had. "I didn't mean it like that"
"I-I guess- I'm just scared to be official" he finally spit. "I really love what we have and I don't want that to be messed up. I think you're right that we could survive it but I can't even think about it not working out. What if all the publicity makes you want to back out or if it causes trouble for us. I couldn't stand it" he sighed out, making your tense body soften and relax.
"It's not that I don't want to be official with you it's just that I don't want to loose you, I don't wanna loose what we have. I feel fine with the boys and all but I'm scared of social media"
He sighed out the words like it had been a hard burden for a long time making you feel slightly bad. Your hand made it's way to his face again, stroking his chin before you lean down to kiss him, sweetly and lovingly.
"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions and I get what you mean" you said softly, loving the small sweet smile that tilted the corner of his mouth upwards.
"I'm sorry too, I didn't word it correctly and it came out wrong"
You nodded smiling at him before beginning your pondering again.
"I get what you mean, I do but we really only have one choice now and that's either we go out with our relationship publicly by ourself or we wait until we are exposed"
You said the words easily, simply just stating facts and Trent knew that you would never pressure him, it was the reality of things right now.
"You're right" he sighed, resting his forehead against your thigh. "What do you think?"
You bent down and dragged him up from the floor, settling in the couch instead so you could both sit.
"I don't know" you hummed
"Me neither" Trent sighed, drawing you into his side.
"What if we just let it be for a second, process it and keep it on the low, adjust to be us in front of the boys and then we will talk about it in a couple of weeks?"
Trent didn't answer, he just took a hold of your chin and kissed you needily. "I love that idea and I love you"
You giggled against his lips before letting them melt together again. "Then that's what we do"
#trent alexander arnold#football imagine#trent alexander arnold imagine#trent alexander arnold fanfic#trent alexander arnold fanfiction#trent x reader#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent#footballer imagine#footballer fanfiction#liverpool#trent alexander arnold fluff#trent alexander arnold angst
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do you want to get chicken noodles?
i've had several people wonder why i'm obsessed with playboyy's aob and why i'm constantly saddened by the indifference towards him on the dash so i figured i'd grab hold of my 'too much' habits again and do a breakdown of all the reasons i love aob.
as always, i'm just a little guy on the internet. i could be way off base, i could be seeing things that aren't there, i could be reading too much into things, could be forgetting points of the plot or times when people have mentioned aob in a bad light, whatever. i just ask that you be nice to me because i'm only this big 🤏🏻 (and i also took the time to make gifs of almost every single aob moment across 8 episodes and i've been working on this for 5 hours - some gifs are crunchy because i had to lower the quality to capture everything i want to address)
to preface, so much of aob isn't in what he says - you actually gain so much more to learn from aob about what he doesn't say and observing his body language and facial expressions closely. aob tells his entire story with his body, because that's how he's grown used to communicating.
episode 1 🌸
we see here aob is genuinely baffled by the behavior of teena and soong. he's used to the environment of playboyy where clients are just paychecks and there's game of cat and mouse and as a result no need for any sort of emotions or emotional manipulation. he's simply providing a service and doing a job. he doesn't have to lure and romance, his clients come to him. the idea of getting emotions involved is completely foreign to him.
episode 2 🌸
we're brought to a flashback almost immediately in episode 2 that raises a lot of questions but also shows us quite a bit. as aob walks up the stairs he moves as if he owns the place, with the utmost confidence. as he ascends we see security treat him with respect and offer wai's in passing - almost as if he is someone in charge here. this shows us what a big deal aob is among the club, how respected he is even as far as the security is concerned. i think it's a very interesting detail that helps back up aob's arrogance and confidence, because why would he be anything else?
the following conversation with the other workers is a bit confusing to me and as far as i recall we don't have all the answers to the questions it raises just yet. we do learn aob is the one that taught jump, teena, and soong during their time at playboyy. he asks them what they're going to do for a living if they're leaving and i think this conveys the idea that aob isn't as heartless as he appears. he worries for them and wonders how they'll take care of themselves if they leave.
teena makes a comment about the boss going too far but i'm not sure if we know what he means by that yet? i had actually completely forgotten about this encounter until i went back to grab screens. i want to comment on this part more but it's not really the point, i'm just really curious what the fuck they're talking about here as they seem to insinuate they've been forced to work here and even aob is surprised by that. this leads me to believe that aob might be a bigger part of the plot later on, perhaps in uncovering whatever was meant by these comments.
episode 4 🌸
i think this is the moment aob really lost favor with so much of the fandom and i do understand why, however, there's a lot that happens here that's very interesting to observe.
"Don't say 'true love' and 'soulmate.'"
i have to wonder why these were the first words aob brings up as soong laments his situation. no one said those words, aob, but you sure did.
teena then talks to soong about what he's heard and tells him he should be responsible for first's feelings in all of this to which aob makes the above expression. aob hates the discussion of feelings, believes emotions need to be removed from the equation entirely, and is baffled by the way his friends are acting about people that should be nothing more than clients and believes any form of relationship impossible.
"Try being in love." "What, stupid love?"
something about this makes me believe that aob doesn't know what love is, not real love. he dismisses it as stupid and scoffs while the others almost roll their eyes at him. it's easy for aob to give the advice he does when he doesn't have love burning a hole in his chest the way they do, he's never felt it before, doesn't know how all consuming it is.
and then as first confronts soong the camera pans from teena to aob and i find his expression very interesting. that doesn't look like a man removed of emotions. to me, that looks like a man that has just had his world tilted on it's axis and is now questioning everything he's ever told himself. he sees first's tears and the way soong stands still and listens as first falls apart. i think that moment truly startled him and drove home that the emotions between the boys and their 'clients' are very real.
episode 5 🌸
alright, episode 5 is a lot so i'm sorry for the absolute wall of gifs and texts coming for this single episode.
"Time to work, Puen."
aob meets puen on the stage and immediately his face falls as it's not him picked first but puen. later, aob walks into the back where puen is smoking and immediately takes in the sight of him.
"Are you Puen?" "I am." "You're quite hot."
"Come find me later. I want to know why you're so popular."
aob wants to know who has dethroned him and why his clients are so enamored with puen. what does puen, someone completely new to the business, have to offer that he doesn't? this is also where aob begins to look at puen and from here on he will never look away.
aob speaks so very much with his eyes. you can see his gaze drop and take in all of puen here during their 'evaluation' as he asks permission before going further with him. it's obviously quite professional but i think it also shows us that aob isn't as cold as he tells people he is; or perhaps that's just where puen is concerned.
this is really where i realized that much of understanding aob is reading into what he isn't saying or what his words are hiding.
"I knew it, you aren't that great."
but he is, because aob can't look away from him.
"...You attract clients that want to try new things. Once they are bored of you they'll dump you."
you're attracted to me and want to try something with me, but once you're bored you'll leave me.
"Why don't you teach me? I want to be like you."
show me what you want from me. i want you to like me.
"I'm sorry. I can't be a teacher. I'm a prostitute. Oh. Don't be like me." Because you can never be. Loser."
i'm sorry. i can't like you. i'm a prostitute. and please don't like me because i can never like you back. don't look to me anymore.
but puen accepts that challenge.
(i forgot to watermark this one lmao, i don't care enough to go fix it)
i'm still not entirely sure what to make of this moment with prom. why does he squeeze aob's shoulder as if to offer him some kind of reassurance? why does aob shake his head just the slightest bit and suddenly look like he's going to face a firing squad? does prom know it's already too late for aob, that he's in too deep? is he trying to prepare aob for the sudden fire in puen's veins? i'm really struggling to figure it out, really. i think it could mean quite a few things or nothing at all.
"Why are you criticizing me? People might think you're jealous of me."
puen has so very clearly learned what makes aob tick. he's learned that aob's pride is also his biggest weakness and he picks at that weak point to evoke a response from him - and it works. suddenly aob is all bluster and anger, but interestingly puen doesn't back down, doesn't even flinch. instead, he has a confident smile and meets aob's eyes with a challenge burning in his own.
aob doesn't know what to do with that. you can see it in the shift of his face. this expression is very similar to the one he makes when first confronts soong - he's on the wrong foot, confused and adrift because suddenly puen is no longer the innocent doe-eyed novice but someone who is pushing back and challenging him. no one has ever challenged him before.
they meet again later in the bathroom where aob is doing some sort of display of dominance perched on a urinal. listen, that's my blorbo, but even i can't defend that. baby get down from there, you're making even more of a fool of yourself.
"Do you want to eat chicken noodles with me?"
aob rejects the invitation and puen laments that he seemed fine earlier when they were in the room together.
"What happens in the room stays in the room, Puen. You can't have feelings for the clients. They'll be strangers when they leave."
what i do in the room with you has to stay there. i can't have feelings for you. you'll become a stranger to me when you leave.
"Why do you have to act so cold and emotionless to everyone?"
and aob doesn't answer. he doesn't even get angry. there's just a quiet look of resignation on his face and he bites his lip, almost like he's nervous, almost like puen is looking at him too closely and starting to see right through him.
"Can you have feelings for your friends or brothers?"
or for me.
"You aren't my friend or my brother. You're a competitor."
because you have to be. because i can't handle any alternative. i can't love you.
episode 6 🌸
they're in the bathroom again but this time it's puen waiting for aob asking why he's been avoiding him.
"Why can't you have sex like a couple? You taught me how to feel. So practice what you preach."
why can't we have sex like a couple? you taught me to remove the feelings from it so why can't you do that?
and i think it's very interesting that for a moment aob drops his gaze and looks away. he's been caught and called out and looks away almost in submission before pulling up his guard again.
"I don't have any feelings for a kid like you. I just can't do it. You're not sexy enough."
he attacks puen's looks but this is a direct contradiction to when they first met and the first thing he said was "You're quite hot." once again aob says the opposite of what he means.
i have feelings for you, this is why i can't have sex with you like a couple. i like you far too much.
"Fine. I'll be better than you someday."
fine. i'll make you love me.
and aob can't take it any longer. he goes just outside the door and breaks down because it's all so much; his feelings for puen, puen's refusal to back down, the turmoil he finds himself in having everything he's ever known turned upside down. he was never supposed to have feelings, least of all for someone as stubborn and determined as puen who breaks down his walls and challenges him at every turn. his will is breaking down every bit as much as he is in this moment.
episode 7 🌸
this was one of the first scenes to really make me emotional in this show. throughout this entire scene aob cannot look away from puen. all of his attention is on puen to the point where he neglects the client and even pushes him away. he touches only puen, kisses only puen. he seems almost tortured by the moment, to be so close but so far from the object of his desire.
and puen looks at him with the challenge in his eyes again, almost mocking: look at me, i've surpassed you. you can't take your eyes off me. i've won.
and aob continues to watch him, his eyes almost a caress, gaze almost reverent as if he's witnessing something holy. my man is absolutely lost in the sauce.
"You have a crush on a loser like me, huh? So you couldn't help yourself."
"This is how you pay me back?" why are you doing this to me? "Do it to me, not in front of the client. What's wrong with you?" don't challenge me in front of a client. don't push me.
but puen knows he's won, he knows he's hit the nail on the head and aob, as he always does, is growing defensive. because he's scared.
"But I'm glad that I'm important to you. Like I said, I will be better than you someday. But that day came so quickly. You lost."
i'm glad you've realized i'm important to you. like i said, i would make you love me. that day came so quickly. i've won.
episode 8 🌸
i didn't get gifs of the scene but prom asks aob if he's jealous of puen's popularity. that's all he asks. but what's interesting is aob replies:
"Jealous? I don't have feelings for him."
aob... i don't think that's what prom was asking. prom asked if you were jealous of his popularity among the clients, if you were jealous that he'd taken your throne.
and puen appears to challenge aob again, blows him a kiss almost as a reminder of their previous encounter. but aob doesn't get angry, doesn't rise to the bait. if anything he looks sad, maybe contemplative, and perhaps like he's coming to terms with something.
You only appreciate the value of something when you are about to lose it. It's just so fucking awful.
Especially when you know in your heart that you are powerless.
Because he isn't your boyfriend.
The more you want to know the more painful it gets.
throughout this entire scene aob looks so sorrowful, like he knows he has to do something soon or he will lose his chance with puen. he has to try because this powerless feeling is growing to be too much.
aob is waiting for puen at the bottom of the stairs and if you look he's bouncing his leg in a nervous tick. when puen rounds the corning his face is immediately in some semblance of a smile which is something we really haven't seen from aob. it gives the impression that he worked himself up to this moment despite how nervous he is. (his shirt is also very wrinkled, were you in a rush?)
"How are you going to haze me today?"
and this i think drives home that puen is tiring of their game. that aob is so very close to losing puen because puen is starting to believe aob's words, believe that aob doesn't like him and only wants to harass him.
so aob takes the leap.
(and i find the handle with care on the wall particularly interesting, as both of them need to be handled with care. aob, with his unfamiliar and warring feelings, and puen with his earnest and hopeful heart.)
and as aob bridges that gap puen looks taken aback and confused because what the fuck, aob isn't soft, doesn't do things like this.
"Do you want to get chicken noodles?"
aob asks, a throwback to the day puen had asked him on a date. an acknowledgement and an apology.
i'm sorry i wasn't ready then, but i'm ready now. will you still have me?
and that's why today's episode made me cry and why i love aob so, so very much. his journey learning his feelings and learning what love feels like and what love can be isn't pretty, he fights it tooth and nail the entire way, but the smile on both their faces as he jumps on puen's back gives me so much hope that they can be good for each other and support each other.
there are still so many episodes left and maybe i'll be wearing clown make up by the end of this, maybe my hopelessly disgustingly romantic heart has misled me, maybe i've read the facial expressions and body language all wrong, but regardless of all of that aob and puen are so special to me.
#please be nice to me#my stomach is in my throat#im so scared of looking like a fool#oat meta#playboyy#playboyy the series#aobpuen#aun warit#parm pawarate#userrain
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