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snowy-vee · 8 months ago

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밤양갱 (Bam Yang Gang) Ellie W.

n/a: I wrote this today, 1.7K words, I have zero idea why but since my inspiration is not going towards my published on going stories, I decided to be writing things and posting them, to not lose the fun. ENJOY!

warnings: emotional eating(? mostly like binge behaviour but not like BED.

DON'T FORGET YOUR DAILY CLICK

You were running behind her trying to catch up to her but her steps were firm, and by the way she walked, you knew she was truly angry. You had messed up this time.

All your friends stayed in the bar after the scene you caused ¿Was it truly all you though? That girl was too close to Ellie, giggling, touching her arm, whispering things in her ear and you had to watch that from the other side of the table, having to endure the occasional glances from your friends. They were seeing it too but there was no way they were going to say anything, they just wanted to know if you were okay with what was happening.

How could you be? Why was Ellie letting that happen? Why was she smiling too? Her face was slightly red, you wanted to assume that it was the alcohol and not the words that were mutter in her ear by the girl, a pretty one… No, you couldn’t stay calm, not when it felt as if you were the one who didn’t belong. So when you stood up and your drink was emptied on the girls’s head, everyone gasped.

She screamed calling you ‘crazy bitch’, Jesse had to hold you to not jump over the table and show her how crazy you could be. Ellie grabbed your arm, dragging you outside of the bar, you were still screaming harmful things to her.

The cold breeze of the winter hit your hot face but you were fuming and you would’ve have kept screaming if it wasn’t for the demanding tone on Ellie’s voice telling you that it was enough, that’s how you were now running towards her. She stopped her walk and turn around, making you stop to and catch your breath.

There was a big gap between you two in that alley that you two end up with only some lamppost with low lights, she scoffed “You always want way too much. If I even look away for a sec, It’s like my brain’s on fire, you are way too intense, but you did there was just embarrassing, not only for me but for you, I hope you are aware of that”

You bit your lip, nodding slowly, trying to hold your tears while she was looking down at you. You had words stuck on your throat waiting to be thrown up, all your feelings, your mind was sending them as if it was keyboard smashing but when you opened your mouth only three words came out “Yes, I’m sorry”

“I bet you are” She simply said turning around and start to walk away again, leaving you there, cold hugging your bones making you shiver as you saw her vanished in the shadows of the night. The lights started flickering which made you come back from your little trance, swiping the drops that escaped your eyes.

You started walking opposite direction of her, not back to your friends, you couldn’t bear the humiliation that you brought by ‘‘overreacting’’ and if you saw that girl again you would not hesitate to break all her bones even if the rage had left your body after the glacial words of Ellie. The green neon lights of some 24h store made you enter it without saying hello, straight to grab a basket and fill it with a lot of sweets, not even caring about the price.

It look tasty? In. It had chocolate? In. Was it sweet chestnut red bean jelly? One of Ellie’s favourites, you had to have it in your stomach, maybe it would reach your heart and it would feel complete since Ellie liked the candy. You’ve watched her devour them throughout your relationship, maybe this would devour your heart the same way she was doing and make it explode because of all the sugar.

The walk to you house was entertaining as you chew slowly the fifth chocolate bar, this one had prunes in it, which made you gag a little bit, but you still ate it. It was gross but sweet at the same time, like a toxic relationship, like yours with Ellie ¿Right? Your relationship was addictive like chocolate but prudes came along and made it gross.

¿What were you doing? Comparing your relationship with food was stupid but as you enter your home, kicking off your shoes and sitting on the floor with your back resting on the couch, your thighs touching your chest and your mouth wide open while throwing half bag of acid candy inside of it. Your eye twitched, your mouth got out of your mouth involuntary and instant regret filled your facial expression but you laughed it off watching your reflect in the TV.

The memories when Ellie and you made stupid mistakes that later on would become in little stories that made you laugh when in the moment of the heat, it made you both cry, be mad, storm off the room but the moment your eyes met again it was all hugs, kisses and little ‘I’m sorry, I love you’. Thinking about that while you opened the cream buns and started munching one by one.

You bought two packs that came with three buns each, so you end up eating six buns. Your stomach was starting to feel weird and it made you feel nauseous but your mind was pushing you to keep eating, there was a void to fill and nothing you were eating seemed to satisfy the need, you were getting more desperate as the salty taste of your tears mix with the sweetness of the strawberry puffs.

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of speaking your mind when the confrontation comes, things would be different but you were so scared that your words would drive her away that you just kept silent and apologized seconds later after your mistake, even if it wasn’t your fault, even if it irritated Ellie that you never spoke your mind, you just bottled up and exploded later on overdoing it. The thing was, that she knew what stuff made you act up and she still do them to get any reaction from you.

Tonight was not the first interaction Ellie had with the girl, all those other hangouts she clung on her as if she was the girlfriend and not you, pushing you away or sitting besides Ellie before you could, etc. You kept silent, swallowing all your thoughts, creating a pot of full venom on your stomach that you blurred out this night.

¿Why Ellie wanted to push you to show that she was yours? She should’ve created space between them two too. You sighed, you should’ve told her that, you needed to start communicating much better, stop eating your feeling and making you sick for days.

You look at the deflated plastic bag, anxiety running through your body ¿There was nothing left? ¿You ate everything? That was impossible, you needed to replace what was missing in your heart. You grabbed the bag upside down, shaking it until a red plastic envelope fall… the sweet chestnut red bean jelly, the last candy.

You wanted to eat it slowly, you were chewing and swallowing, barely feeling what was entering your belly, but this one? You had to. You took a small bite and started chewing slowly, feeling the soft jellied texture of it with the right level of sweetness letting the red bean flavour shine with its earthy taste and a hint of nuttiness.

Ellie’s face while eating it appeared in your head, a big smile, her cheeks full of it and begging you to try it, which you’ve never did, always thinking that it was a weird combination of flavours. The shine in her green eyes whenever she could find them in any store, buying at least three pack, the time she wanted to dye her auburn hair the same red as the bean jelly but you talked her out of it, the day she tried to bake it and almost got intoxicated…

The candy was halfway done. You looked at your phone, it’s been hours since you two went different directions ¿Did she arrived okay at home? Did she turn around and try to come back at you? ¿Did she go back to the bar? It did not matter, you missed her, you wanted to talk to her, you both needed that to go to sleep, you knew it. She was not going to call first, she was stubborn, so it was in your sweaty hands as you dialled her number.

…

She picked up, you could hear her breath, no words. You wanted to be firmed, not cold but neutral, one ‘We have to talk, be matured about this, communication’ and that was it, but maybe because of how sticky the jelly was around your tongue, your next words were completely different:

“So, I have half a red bean jelly and I know how much you liked them, I was thinking that maybe I could save it for later but It would go bad, Can I go to your house and give it to you?”

You facepalmed yourself mentally, closing your eyes and letting your head rest in the couch seat, looking at the ceiling, repeating the word ‘stupid’ all over without making a sound. Ellie clicked her tongue and you heard the zip of something and the sound of some keys.

“I’m on my way” She said ending the call, your eyes almost popped looking at your phone’s screen. Your tired body suddenly was hit with an energy boost, you stood up and looked at the floor full of packages of sweets, you looked at yourself in the mirror, you looked like a disaster.

The way you cleaned everything and still had time to cleaned up yourself a little bit made you think that maybe you acquired a new power, you were sure it had a name…

Knock, Knock. There she was, you don’t needed to check, you knew it because of the way your heart jumped pushing you towards the door, opening it and letting her in.

As she walked in, her eyes not even checking you, your body felt weak but excited at the same time. You were more than ready to speak your mind, you were so ready that the word you were searching before came through your mind.

Sugar Rush.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fic #ellie williams au #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie the last of us #elliewilliams #ellie williams #angst #fluff #ellie williams angst #snowy vee #ellie tlou #ellie fanfic #bibi #bam yang gang #Spotify

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loonarii · 8 months ago

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Ari's K-Pop Roundup: February 2024 (Twice, Le Sserafim, BabyMonster, JYP Family, BIBI + MORE)

If there's a comeback coming up you want to see talked about in March's roundup, drop me a message/ask and I'll make sure to include it :)

I Got You + One Spark - TWICE (With YOU-th)

GIF credit: @femaleidols

Twice are officially back lets fucking go, the girls are here.

Unfortunately for TWICE, only one girl group can have a good release at a time in JYP apparently, and NMIXX have snatched that privilege from them in this instance (Fe3O4: Break is a 10/10). The concept teasers for this era were super interesting and really beautiful actually, kind of reminiscent of 2018 LOONA and the ASAP - NewJeans music video, but its JYP, so naturally that vibe was completely absent from the music videos whatsoever, but I digress. The pre-release, 'I Got You' is a thrumming, synth fueled track that attempts to be anthemic, but doesn't quite meet the bar. It's pretty catchy, sure, and the lyrics are actually reasonably good, but it feels slightly uninspired and very dated. The y2k trend's days may be numbered, but its still a bit early to be referencing 2015 in our 2024 tracks, in my opinion at least. While I see the appeal, this track really doesn't blow me away, and I don't see myself returning back to it much in the near future.

The title 'One Spark' suffers the same pitfalls as 'I Got You' if not even more so. Maybe it's just me, but I found the hook to be so unbelievably boring, and the rest of the song felt wholly pedestrian in its construction. It's really quite frustrating that a song this dull got past the many rounds of production required to be released, because the producers for it are certified hit makers, and TWICE are far too talented to be releasing insultingly boring music. The music video is all about TWICE being timeless, which they are, but if they keep releasing subpar title tracks like this, that's not how they will be perceived by the average kpop listener. It's a shame, really, but with JYP's track record over the last couple of years, I can't honestly say I'm surprised. It's not unlistenable, but it's hardly up to TWICE's standard.

What's even more frustrating is that the b-sides are actually really fun, 'Rush' is evocative of PinkPantheress and is super cute, 'New New' is such a punch up from 'One Spark' that's far more exciting and catchy, and 'Bloom' is gloriously ethereal and kind of giving Chungha realness - its SUCH A FUCKING HIT. Even 'You Get Me' that I assumed was going to be the apparently obligatory end of album ballad turned out to be a laid-back, easy going finale that is both catchy and well produced. How is it possible that the two least exciting songs on the record are the only ones promoted??? Literally any of the b-sides could have been the title, especially 'Bloom' which I will be treating as the title track in my delusions. Great b-sides, boring promoted tracks, JYP doesn't know what they're doing yet again, what's new.

Easy - LE SSERAFIM (EASY)

A little bit Rosalia, a lot a bit Tyla, with a healthy dose of platinum blonde Chaewon, this is Le Sserafim doing CONCEPT better than pretty much everyone else in the industry right now.

Right off the bat, this is leaps and bounds ahead of 'Unforgiven', which had its moments, but generally failed to make an impact. 'Easy' is an effortlessly cool R&B trap track that's heavily inspired by the afrobeats trends in western pop. It's stylish, exciting, and suits Le Sserafim well - this is how to develop a musical style while not abandoning your roots. The overall metaphor that harkens to a swan on a lake (pure elegance on the surface, intense effort below) is interesting and works for their concept, but the actual lyricism in this song is utterly nonsensical. Maybe I'm just being dumb, but does 'pull up and I rip it up like ballet' actually mean? There's an English version out, which is somehow even more unintelligible, but I digress.

Lyrics aside, I like this track a lot, and the music video is utterly gorgeous. Does it live up to the heights of 'Antifragile'? No, not really, but it's definitely up there with 'Fearless', in my opinion.

The b-sides were okay, not bad, but not especially exciting. 'Smart' was easily the most exciting out of the trio, but I don't see it having the longevity of 'Blue Flame' or 'EPATBW'.

Great title, slightly dull mini album - I am seriously excited for where Le Sserafim goes sonically, they and NewJeans are undoubtedly the trendsetters of the 4th generation, and I can't wait to here more of their stuff.

Like Magic - JYP, Stray Kids, ITZY, NMIXX

GIF credit: @thankyou-taeyeon

If you are ever in doubt that capitalism is destroying music, feel free to give this one a stream. Genuinely awful.

Bam Yang Gang + Sugar Rush - BIBI

requested by @a-moth-to-the-light

Bibi is such an exciting idol. Her music is consistently exciting and innovative, and rarely dull. 'Bam Yang Gang' is such an honest, realistic, and in many ways comforting song that is as simplistic as it is perfect. It's a little nonsensical, and oddly relatable. Not sure what the rat thing in the music video was about, but on the whole, it's a beautiful, hilarious, highly enjoyable song, and I'm so happy it is charting so well in South Korea.

'Sugar Rush' is a little less my speed, but it is successful in what it sets out to achieve. The production is trappy, synthy, and feels a little bit NCT 127? This kind of concept is difficult to pull off, and when some idols do it, it comes off as kind of goofy, but Bibi pulls it off 100%. Not really my thing, but a fun song nonetheless.

(also yena and soyeon make cameos in the mv so that's fun)

Stuck In The Middle - BABYMONSTER

'Batter Up' was a huge grower for me, originally I found it a bit dull and uninspired, but I'm a dancer, and sue me, the dance is fun, so naturally I ended up streaming it a bunch while learning the choreography, and now I think I enjoy it. It was undeniably a controversial release though - the comparisons with blackpink inevitably flooded in, the whole drama with Ahyeon being on hiatus and potentially being fully out of the group was a total shit storm, and there were zero performances on music shows to boot. Not sure why that last one happened, BabyMonster do not have the kind of influence to chart with longevity without domestic promotions but me being confused at YG's creative directors is literally nothing new.

Then we got 'Stuck In The Middle', an slightly bizarre English ballad with decent (if a little vapid) lyricism, and 'Moonlight Sunrise' meets Kwangya esque music video sets. I'm not going to do my monthly rant about how shit the vast majority of kpop ballads are, and how boring this song is, but I will say this. BabyMonster currently has no clear concept that sets them apart from their predecessors and everyone else in the industry, and outside of the YG bubble of ad boosted music video views, this song was unsuccessful. It went utterly undiscussed by the wider kpop fanbase, and has minimal streams on Spotify for a big three group. I don't say this to rub it in the faces of the girls and their fans, if anything, I am hugely upset that young women this talented are under a company so stuck in the past. YG needs to get their act together if they actually want a shot at creating blackpink the sequel, because what they're doing right now is not working.

Since the release, it's been announced that the it girl of the group, Ahyeon, is making a return for the first mini album, 'BABYMONS7ER', thank god for that, and apparently YG is now labelling all songs released thus far as predebut tracks, which is actually hilarious, they have no idea what they are doing.

Good luck babymonster, I think you will need it.

BONUS:

Super Lady - (G)-IDLE: (I know this was a January release I just forgot to talk about it ok) kind of iconic ngl; some of the English lines were questionable but the song is fun so lets move on; not sure why the song is only like 2 minutes literally nobody wants short songs

DNA - YENA: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) Yena is such a strong performer, but I think the production team let her down with the mixing of this song. The vocals should have more layers, or at the very least, be louder than the bass line. Overall though the song is super fun, and super Yena. I love the j-rock influences, I love Yena's gorgeous vocal colour; she is a soloist I am always sure to keep up to date with. It is so evident in her performances that she loves the music she is releasing, and for me at least, that's enough.

Holssi + Love Wins All - IU: Love wins all had a beautiful music video although the song itself felt a bit boring, but Holssi was unexpectedly groovy and understated - I can feel that it's going to majorly grow on me.

Diamond - TRI.BE: I was very pleasantly surprised that this song is actually really good? I haven't really tuned into their discography since the whole 'pretty savage' plagiarism stuff, but this is such a fun song that is impressively unique to them considering most groups of smaller companies like them tend to follow what the bigger groups are doing. Maybe I should check them out more - any tri.be stans reading, lmk some good recommendations :)

Young Posse Up - Young Posse: As a british teen, this sent me into fight or flight lmao

That's all for February, feel free let me know your thoughts on the comebacks discussed (or any I didn't mention) in the reblogs or comments, I'll look forward to reading them. Make sure to check back in for next months roundup but yeah thats it so byeeeeeeeeeeee

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