#bi-erasure

[chaosroid]

The BG3 party members being bi disasters: a series

If I see anyone call the companions "playersexual" one more time, I'm shooting them in the kneecaps.

[zeroar]

(Posting from mobile so not sure if this will be formatted as I wish...)

Three things to add to this video. Biphobia/bi-erasure, an answer to the question asked, and ableism.

One: "non-practicing bisexual" is probably supposed to mean a bisexual person who appears to be in a heterosexual relationship. But the words make it sound like the times in-between orgies (you need at least two other people of different genders to be a "practicing bisexual", right?). Regardless, bisexual people are bisexual. Calling them non-practicing is absurd especially when they are literally in a relationship with someone. If they were overly chaste or something, maybe it would make sense for that. When we are in a relationship with people who appear to be the same gender, we're called gay and when we are in a relationship with people who appear to be a different gender we are called straight, but both are "practicing" our sexuality.

Two, and it's a two-part answer: autigender is the idea that the gender of an autistic person is colored by being autistic. It can mean different things for different people but generally we present our gender as we see ourselves or we don't particularly feel attached to our gender as an aspect of ourselves. This is strongly related to why we are more likely to be queer and trans than other neurotypes. This means that being with a cis, male, autistic person can be drastically different from being with a cis, male, allistic person (and similarly for cis, female persons). At the very least, autistic men should be less likely to suffer from machismo and overtly posture like allistic men do. (On the other hand, we are more likely to be narcissists so even if autistic persons aren't as likely to be overtly posturing about how big or tight their genitals are and all that entails, we may still be vainglorious in other ways).

The second part of the answer as to why the meme seems relatable is recalling again that we are more likely to be queer than allistic persons. Further, cis, female autistic persons are more likely to be undiagnosed. So it's very likely for a bisexual person to fall for an autistic person of a different gender because it's more likely that bisexual persons are autistic and we get along better with the same neurotype. (Scientifically, the defining characteristic of autism is traditionally our social difficulties, but these are not only less of a problem when people of the same neurotype are interacting, autistic people have less miscommunication between ourselves than allistic folks do between themselves).

Third: there are a couple subversive ableist things mentioned in the video. I imagine they are not deliberate which is one reason why I am talking about them, to inform others to be on the lookout and try to be better.

"touch of the 'tism" is extremely ableist in maybe not so obvious ways. In the video, it seems to be a way to say "autism, but not the bad kind". In other words, it's the latest iteration of "Asperger's" or "high-functioning" or whatever other nightmare we've come up with to say the same thing.

You cannot separate autism from the autistic person. We're more likely to be introspective and think deeply, more likely to be repeatedly reminded of the every day lies and betrayals allistic folk not only don't mind but don't even notice. We're more likely to have extra sensory needs and a host of concomitant conditions.

The desire for an autistic person without extra needs is understandable in that if you can find a partner (no matter their neurotype) without extra needs then... they... need less.

Didn't intend that to be a tautology, but I wanted to explicitly state that on its face, it makes sense. That is, everything else being equal, your partner having more desirable qualities and less undesirable qualities makes sense? However, being able to pick and choose partners like they're models of a phone seems pretty removed from reality to me and is one of those thought experiments that doesn't survive reality, but the commodification of love is not one I've ever particularly understood. People listing down qualities like "they have to be brunette with big boobs and a thick dick" makes me question how other folks ever enter into any meaningful relationship or if other people even experience love as it is written about in stories and how I perceive myself experiencing it.

But this is reality, and when it comes down to listing out what you look for in a partner, "being autistic but having no drawbacks from being autistic" is not just unsettling, it's fetishization. (The things I described above are fetishization as well by the way—or is fetishism the more appropriate word?— it's not limited to things like race and neurotype)

I've forgotten the exact words of the video, but "men with just a touch of the 'tism are so nice!" sounds a lot like, "Autistic people are so good at math" and "bisexual people are so sexual" and all these other "positive" 'isms.

I'm an autistic person who is considered good at math, but loads of us are rubbish at it. Conversely, I'm a bisexual person but I am also on the asexual spectrum so if you're unicorn hunting I'm probably not what you're looking for.

The classic quote in the Autism community goes something like, "high-functioning means your needs get ignored, low-functioning means your abilities do."

I'm not saying you cannot prefer autistic people over allistic people. We tend to have a lot of positive qualities. But talking about us like our autism makes us more attractive while casually excluding any autistic person who would be too undesirable by somehow ranking how much autism we have is weird and pretty similar to what that nazi Asperger did, sending the undesirable autistics to be killed in gas chambers while saying the desirable ones have qualities that can benefit the nation.

To be clear what I'm saying, autistic people who appear to be only "slightly autistic" (whatever that means) can usually maintain a public front or façade and, if they're diagnosed and actively working on masking, might have a lot of accommodations and practices that helps them maintain that façade for their own safety. The closer you become to an autistic person, the safer they might feel around you to the point they relax some of those guards and appear more obviously autistic. That's a good thing! It takes so much energy to mask that it regularly drives persons from marginalized groups into burnout.

Closing notes...

Just a reminder: the video person is symptomatic of our society and is probably not aware how deeply unsettling fetishizing autism is. Additionally, autistic people are more likely to be queer than allistic people, so there's a reasonable chance the person is autistic themselves, especially if they find themselves more attracted to autistic persons than allistic persons. Please don't attack the person for their unknowing ableism. TikTok doesn't have the character limit to help me talk to them and the video seems to be pretty large in views so it seems extremely unlikely positive change could come by addressing them directly from a random internet person.

I obviously can't control how you react to another person and I'm not asking you to be inauthentic. I am only asking that you consider intent and harm caused. I'm using the video as a presentation slide to talk about a societal problem, not as an effigy or piñata, and definitely not as a scapegoat. If you found that video via my post, then please don't attack another person in retaliation because of it.

Also, I know some autistic people defend "touch of the 'tism" and use it themselves. You can probably guess, yes, I consider this internalized ableism along the same lines as Aspie-supremacy and clinging to being "high-functioning". Being autistic is not inherently a bad thing. The issue more often than not is how society views and interacts with us.

[sukibenders]

*taps sign* Both Glinda AND Fiyero are important to Elphaba and her journey, you don't necessarily have to ship either of them with her or even like either of them, but to purposely try and remove them (or even just one, I see some of yall do it especially in shipping wars) from Elphaba's life completely misses so many points of Wicked and also take away from Elphaba as a character.

[ebony-hawthorne]

i appreciate this so much because bi-erasure feels so prominent these days, and i am so glad that nick feels comfortable and confident enough with his identity to not bend over and be like "yea i'm gay" and acknowledge he still likes girls, but is still in a healthy relationship with charlie. and seeing him have bi awakenings throughout the comics brings me more joy then it should, but realistically most people don't get that all in one swoop, but realize these things throughout their lives.

if you read this, thank you for listening to my ted talk.

Nick saying “I’m bi actually” and very politely reminding people that he may be in a same-sex relationship but his identity is still valid

[fixing-bad-posts]

My favourite is bi trans lesbians !!!!! We support!!!!

[drchucktingle]

all time funniest review. someone please check on the scoundrels they are very riled over our joy

the audiobook for NOT POUNDED BY BI ERASURE BECAUSE MY CURRENT HETERO-PRESENTING RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY QUEERNESS is available here

[picturesofspideyman]

Yeah so I’ve been playing Reload and Persona 3 might just be the gayest one actually

[lgbtqtext]

[travellingwiththedead]

Canon ace characters 🤝 canon bi characters

Getting erased and if we complain about it we're the ones having "headcanons" and stirring trouble because theirs is clearly the superior interpretation -.-

[delulluart]

Bi King Copia! Because that man is not straight (or gay) and I will (politely) fight people saying otherwise

find the full version here 🌶

All Ghinktober 2024 drawings

[logansgaar]

"Bucky Barnes isn't gay, he's bisexual/straight" okay, you're welcome to your headcanons, but coming from a bisexual here, he's based heavily on Arnie Roth like it's uncanny, their backstories are identical. For whatever reason Marvel fused three characters into one (equal parts comic Bucky and Arnie, with a tiny slither of Hunter aka White Wolf), and literally every argument about Bucky Barnes being interested in women so he can't possibly be gay can relate right back to both movie canon and the comics his backstory is based on.

Bucky circulated through a lot of dates and girls, but never has any significant relationships or deeper feelings for them depicted, unlike pretty much every single other man in Marvel. They also completely glazed over comic book Bucky Barnes' most notable relationship with Natasha (I know there's talk of it being with Yelena instead, which is even worse if they do because she's aroace, there's so little representation for aroace people) which is very interesting to me. Bucky's relationship with women mirrors Arnie Roth's exactly. Not to mention how lack lustre Bucky acts with the old playboy act now, as if he's stepped back into that role because he doesn't know how else to behave so falls back on what he knew from before but really isn't feeling it.

I'm not stupid, I know Marvel is never going to go there because of politics with less LGBT+ friendly areas of the world, but I do hope they at least keep Bucky single and ambiguous. It would also be incredible if Bucky were to at some point use the name Arnie Roth as an alias and nod to the character who combined with Bucky and Hunter. Or even Bucky meeting a teacher called Michael, even if it's left open ended.

Arnie Roth was the first ever openly gay character in any mainstream superhero comic, that's not nothing. That's so tremendously significant, along with the fact he was Jewish too (which fits with the movies too, since Jewish soldiers were eventually given the option to have P for Protestant stamped on their dog tags instead of H for Hebrew/Jewish for their own protection) and I respect people's headcanons but there's something so important about Arnie Roth being respected... Even though I'm bisexual myself, to ME Bucky Barnes is gay.

(also Sebastian Stan has gone on record to say that he's chill with any interpretation and likes that Bucky's dynamics with other men are appreciated. He's also played gay and bisexual men in the past, so he's very comfortable with the idea himself even if Marvel would never go there and would probably snipe him if he pulled an Andrew Garfield.)

[stanlunter]

"Why do people call all pan characters bisexual?" well, probably bc pansexuality is the same thing as bisexuality?? And bisexual people are tired of biphobia and pretending like there is a difference

Bisexuality is attraction regardless of gender. Some Bisexuals do have preferences, some don't

Pansexuality means exactly the same thing. All attempts to say the difference between these two is always just a straight up biphobia

Everyone who is attracted to men and women is bisexual and people have a right to call everyone who is attracted to men and women bisexual. Just like people can call a woman who loves only women a lesbian or a man who loves only men a gay, or those who are attracted only to the opposite sex heterosexual

And removing this right form bisexual people is nothing but biphobia

People are really so afraid of calling themselves bisexual that they have made up millions of idiotic names for bisexuality and It's a real problem (pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, abroaexual, gaybian...and every other non-existed sexuality that actually is just BIsexuality)

[katarzyna-]

^ on tiktok too, people were talking about John Taylor's hair. I was like "THAT'S what you want to focus on? Really"

Bi erasure is thriving in this oh so open minded fandom...

HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN A SINGLE ONE OF YOU TALKING ABOUT BISEXUAL MICHAEL SHEEN

[fixing-bad-posts]

queer inclusion my beloved <3

[drchucktingle]

MY NEXT HORROR NOVEL, LUCKY DAY, IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER. 

WHAT A TROT BUCKAROOS. it will be out next summer, and yes thats a long way to go, but consider this an exciting gift to your future self. also consider that the entire publishing industry is built around how many preorders an author gets, whether that means publishers deciding your initial print run or bookstores figuring out how much shelf space to offer. all that is to say IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON GETTING THIS BOOK ANYWAY, STRONGLY CONSIDER A PREORDER i cannot tell you how much it helps out. 

if you have ever felt ‘chuck has proven love to me’ then consider this a way of proving love back

i will talk more on this book as the days approach. for now i will tell you what it is about, not on the surface but in the depths. 

as a bisexual buckaroo i understand what it feels like to be told you do not exist. that feeling was the seed of this book. ultimately this is a story about a bi buckaroo standing up and going head to head against nonexistence.

yes this is cryptic but as you know from CAMP DAMASCUS and BURY YOUR GAYS my books are never quite what you think they are going to be. i will end with a last little hint from page 183 of camp damascus. now get those preorders in an i cant wait to meet you on the gaming floor of THE GREAT BRITANNICA HOTEL AND CASINO

[saffron-gold-stardust]

Guys. If a character is bisexual. That means they’re bisexual. That means they’re into guys and girls and people other than the just opposite gender (okay nuance but yknow, generally safe to assume). Th. This isn’t “cross is gay”—he’s not, he’s bi—or “cross is a guy liker confirmed” cuz hE WAS ALREADY CONFIRMED TO DO THAT??? Because hes BI???

sorry i am a little defensive can you tell as a bisexual i hear this kind of ignorance/bi erasure a lot. whoops