#bi-erasure

[chaosroid]

The BG3 party members being bi disasters: a series

If I see anyone call the companions "playersexual" one more time, I'm shooting them in the kneecaps.

[beans-core]

(After James comes out as Bisexual to the Marauders)

Sirius: I thought you were straight!

James: *points at Regulus* I thought I was too until he went and did that!

Remus: ...You just gestured to all of him.

[zeroar]

(Posting from mobile so not sure if this will be formatted as I wish...)

Three things to add to this video. Biphobia/bi-erasure, an answer to the question asked, and ableism.

One: "non-practicing bisexual" is probably supposed to mean a bisexual person who appears to be in a heterosexual relationship. But the words make it sound like the times in-between orgies (you need at least two other people of different genders to be a "practicing bisexual", right?). Regardless, bisexual people are bisexual. Calling them non-practicing is absurd especially when they are literally in a relationship with someone. If they were overly chaste or something, maybe it would make sense for that. When we are in a relationship with people who appear to be the same gender, we're called gay and when we are in a relationship with people who appear to be a different gender we are called straight, but both are "practicing" our sexuality.

Two, and it's a two-part answer: autigender is the idea that the gender of an autistic person is colored by being autistic. It can mean different things for different people but generally we present our gender as we see ourselves or we don't particularly feel attached to our gender as an aspect of ourselves. This is strongly related to why we are more likely to be queer and trans than other neurotypes. This means that being with a cis, male, autistic person can be drastically different from being with a cis, male, allistic person (and similarly for cis, female persons). At the very least, autistic men should be less likely to suffer from machismo and overtly posture like allistic men do. (On the other hand, we are more likely to be narcissists so even if autistic persons aren't as likely to be overtly posturing about how big or tight their genitals are and all that entails, we may still be vainglorious in other ways).

The second part of the answer as to why the meme seems relatable is recalling again that we are more likely to be queer than allistic persons. Further, cis, female autistic persons are more likely to be undiagnosed. So it's very likely for a bisexual person to fall for an autistic person of a different gender because it's more likely that bisexual persons are autistic and we get along better with the same neurotype. (Scientifically, the defining characteristic of autism is traditionally our social difficulties, but these are not only less of a problem when people of the same neurotype are interacting, autistic people have less miscommunication between ourselves than allistic folks do between themselves).

Third: there are a couple subversive ableist things mentioned in the video. I imagine they are not deliberate which is one reason why I am talking about them, to inform others to be on the lookout and try to be better.

"touch of the 'tism" is extremely ableist in maybe not so obvious ways. In the video, it seems to be a way to say "autism, but not the bad kind". In other words, it's the latest iteration of "Asperger's" or "high-functioning" or whatever other nightmare we've come up with to say the same thing.

You cannot separate autism from the autistic person. We're more likely to be introspective and think deeply, more likely to be repeatedly reminded of the every day lies and betrayals allistic folk not only don't mind but don't even notice. We're more likely to have extra sensory needs and a host of concomitant conditions.

The desire for an autistic person without extra needs is understandable in that if you can find a partner (no matter their neurotype) without extra needs then... they... need less.

Didn't intend that to be a tautology, but I wanted to explicitly state that on its face, it makes sense. That is, everything else being equal, your partner having more desirable qualities and less undesirable qualities makes sense? However, being able to pick and choose partners like they're models of a phone seems pretty removed from reality to me and is one of those thought experiments that doesn't survive reality, but the commodification of love is not one I've ever particularly understood. People listing down qualities like "they have to be brunette with big boobs and a thick dick" makes me question how other folks ever enter into any meaningful relationship or if other people even experience love as it is written about in stories and how I perceive myself experiencing it.

But this is reality, and when it comes down to listing out what you look for in a partner, "being autistic but having no drawbacks from being autistic" is not just unsettling, it's fetishization. (The things I described above are fetishization as well by the way—or is fetishism the more appropriate word?— it's not limited to things like race and neurotype)

I've forgotten the exact words of the video, but "men with just a touch of the 'tism are so nice!" sounds a lot like, "Autistic people are so good at math" and "bisexual people are so sexual" and all these other "positive" 'isms.

I'm an autistic person who is considered good at math, but loads of us are rubbish at it. Conversely, I'm a bisexual person but I am also on the asexual spectrum so if you're unicorn hunting I'm probably not what you're looking for.

The classic quote in the Autism community goes something like, "high-functioning means your needs get ignored, low-functioning means your abilities do."

I'm not saying you cannot prefer autistic people over allistic people. We tend to have a lot of positive qualities. But talking about us like our autism makes us more attractive while casually excluding any autistic person who would be too undesirable by somehow ranking how much autism we have is weird and pretty similar to what that nazi Asperger did, sending the undesirable autistics to be killed in gas chambers while saying the desirable ones have qualities that can benefit the nation.

To be clear what I'm saying, autistic people who appear to be only "slightly autistic" (whatever that means) can usually maintain a public front or façade and, if they're diagnosed and actively working on masking, might have a lot of accommodations and practices that helps them maintain that façade for their own safety. The closer you become to an autistic person, the safer they might feel around you to the point they relax some of those guards and appear more obviously autistic. That's a good thing! It takes so much energy to mask that it regularly drives persons from marginalized groups into burnout.

Closing notes...

Just a reminder: the video person is symptomatic of our society and is probably not aware how deeply unsettling fetishizing autism is. Additionally, autistic people are more likely to be queer than allistic people, so there's a reasonable chance the person is autistic themselves, especially if they find themselves more attracted to autistic persons than allistic persons. Please don't attack the person for their unknowing ableism. TikTok doesn't have the character limit to help me talk to them and the video seems to be pretty large in views so it seems extremely unlikely positive change could come by addressing them directly from a random internet person.

I obviously can't control how you react to another person and I'm not asking you to be inauthentic. I am only asking that you consider intent and harm caused. I'm using the video as a presentation slide to talk about a societal problem, not as an effigy or piñata, and definitely not as a scapegoat. If you found that video via my post, then please don't attack another person in retaliation because of it.

Also, I know some autistic people defend "touch of the 'tism" and use it themselves. You can probably guess, yes, I consider this internalized ableism along the same lines as Aspie-supremacy and clinging to being "high-functioning". Being autistic is not inherently a bad thing. The issue more often than not is how society views and interacts with us.

[ebony-hawthorne]

i appreciate this so much because bi-erasure feels so prominent these days, and i am so glad that nick feels comfortable and confident enough with his identity to not bend over and be like "yea i'm gay" and acknowledge he still likes girls, but is still in a healthy relationship with charlie. and seeing him have bi awakenings throughout the comics brings me more joy then it should, but realistically most people don't get that all in one swoop, but realize these things throughout their lives.

if you read this, thank you for listening to my ted talk.

Nick saying “I’m bi actually” and very politely reminding people that he may be in a same-sex relationship but his identity is still valid

[shiverandqueeef]

hey do you guys remember when green day released the explicitly anti-war anthem 'american idiot' back in 2004 as a direct response to all the post-9/11 jingoistic AMERICA HOORAH songs flooding the radio at the time and how it contained the lyrics:

Well, maybe I'm the faggot, America I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

and the point was to use a slur that got right to the core of the conservative propaganda that framed being anti-war as effeminate, weak, un-american? and to take that slur and be like fuck yeah i am and this faggot is going to stand up for what they believe in fuck you

and gay rights activists were mad about it? like how dare this straight man use a gay slur green day is homophobic actually and we should make that the dominant narrative in the discourse and never ever talk about the war stuff

and meanwhile all three members of green day weren't even straight? the lead singer was openly bisexual. billie joe armstrong is very much a faggot. fuck you.

[fixing-bad-posts]

My favourite is bi trans lesbians !!!!! We support!!!!

[drchucktingle]

all time funniest review. someone please check on the scoundrels they are very riled over our joy

the audiobook for NOT POUNDED BY BI ERASURE BECAUSE MY CURRENT HETERO-PRESENTING RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY QUEERNESS is available here

[picturesofspideyman]

Yeah so I’ve been playing Reload and Persona 3 might just be the gayest one actually

[travellingwiththedead]

Canon ace characters 🤝 canon bi characters

Getting erased and if we complain about it we're the ones having "headcanons" and stirring trouble because theirs is clearly the superior interpretation -.-

[katarzyna-]

^ on tiktok too, people were talking about John Taylor's hair. I was like "THAT'S what you want to focus on? Really"

Bi erasure is thriving in this oh so open minded fandom...

HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN A SINGLE ONE OF YOU TALKING ABOUT BISEXUAL MICHAEL SHEEN

[delulluart]

Bi King Copia! Because that man is not straight (or gay) and I will (politely) fight people saying otherwise

find the full version here 🌶

All Ghinktober 2024 drawings

[stanlunter]

"Why do people call all pan characters bisexual?" well, probably bc pansexuality is the same thing as bisexuality?? And bisexual people are tired of biphobia and pretending like there is a difference

Bisexuality is attraction regardless of gender. Some Bisexuals do have preferences, some don't

Pansexuality means exactly the same thing. All attempts to say the difference between these two is always just a straight up biphobia

Everyone who is attracted to men and women is bisexual and people have a right to call everyone who is attracted to men and women bisexual. Just like people can call a woman who loves only women a lesbian or a man who loves only men a gay, or those who are attracted only to the opposite sex heterosexual

And removing this right form bisexual people is nothing but biphobia

People are really so afraid of calling themselves bisexual that they have made up millions of idiotic names for bisexuality and It's a real problem (pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, abroaexual, gaybian...and every other non-existed sexuality that actually is just BIsexuality)

[danshive]

The idea that someone stops being bi if they're currently in a man-woman relationship suggests that sexuality is dependent upon who you are currently with, and not who you are attracted to.

This further suggests that, when single, a person enters a null state of sexuality I shall henceforth refer to as "Schrödinger s sexuality", being of no sexuality until a mate is found.

Further study is required to determine the threshold needed to be satisfied to exit the state of Schrödinger s sexuality.

While possible the relationship might need to be committed, the actual requirement could be something as non-committed as friends with benefits, or as frivolous as holding hands.

The duration of one's sexuality also has yet to be determined.

While it is assumed that a committed relationship will passively refill one's sexuality, how often does experiencing "friends with benefits" do this? Is it for a time after the shared experience as good buddies no really it's nothing serious, or does it end immediately after?

Does holding hands provide an active boost for several hours? Days? Is it only for the duration of hand holding?

In pursuit of my doctorate, I hope to find answers to these questions and more. All I require now is proper funding. With your help...

[shayberri789]

Is... is it a hot take to remind people that, on top of being demisexual (ans probably demi or fully aromantic tbh...), neil is most likely bisexual, not gay?

Or are we all collectively forgetting that it was girls Mary beat him for looking at....

[fixing-bad-posts]

queer inclusion my beloved <3

[drchucktingle]

MY NEXT HORROR NOVEL, LUCKY DAY, IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER. 

WHAT A TROT BUCKAROOS. it will be out next summer, and yes thats a long way to go, but consider this an exciting gift to your future self. also consider that the entire publishing industry is built around how many preorders an author gets, whether that means publishers deciding your initial print run or bookstores figuring out how much shelf space to offer. all that is to say IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON GETTING THIS BOOK ANYWAY, STRONGLY CONSIDER A PREORDER i cannot tell you how much it helps out. 

if you have ever felt ‘chuck has proven love to me’ then consider this a way of proving love back

i will talk more on this book as the days approach. for now i will tell you what it is about, not on the surface but in the depths. 

as a bisexual buckaroo i understand what it feels like to be told you do not exist. that feeling was the seed of this book. ultimately this is a story about a bi buckaroo standing up and going head to head against nonexistence.

yes this is cryptic but as you know from CAMP DAMASCUS and BURY YOUR GAYS my books are never quite what you think they are going to be. i will end with a last little hint from page 183 of camp damascus. now get those preorders in an i cant wait to meet you on the gaming floor of THE GREAT BRITANNICA HOTEL AND CASINO