#bf ruining history

[sleetsong]

This turned into a headcanon and now I must have a verse for this. Below is a detailed breakdown of the team, their move set and how they benefit eachother on the team.

It is not surprising that Ami is mostly a water trainer. However, her team is not just not for water & ice abilities but also for their ability to stall the enemy. A team built around set up and inflicting status on the other team.

#131 Lapras - Item: Damp rock (increases duration of rain). Ability: Hydration (heals any status in rain every turn rain is active) Nature: Calm (+ sp def , - atk) Life Dew - heal self and allies Snowscape - set up snowstorm (increase ice type defense by 50%, reduces solarbeam/solar blade power) Rain Dance - set up rain (lower fire type damage by 50%, increase water damage by 50%) Weather Ball - flexible depending on weather (rain = water, snow = ice, sun = fire, sandstorm = rock, no weather = normal)

#134 Vaporeon - Ability: Hydration (heals any status in rain every turn rain is active) Item: Leftovers (heals 1/16th HP per turn) Nature: Bold (+Def, -Atk) EV: 252 HP, 180 Def, 78 Sp Def Scald - burn/s.t.a.b. (same type attack bonus) Toxic (poison damage per turn, gets worse every turn) Ice Beam Rain Dance

#121 Starmie - Item: choice specs (+special attack, can only use 1 move until switch) / Choice scarf (+speed, can only use 1 move until switch) items are team dependent. Ability: Natural cure for status heal on switch Timid (+Speed, -Atk) EV: 252 Sp Atk, 252 Speed, 6 HP Surf Psychic Thunderbolt Ice beam

#478 Froslass - Item: Focus sash (able to survive a knock out when at full health) Ability: Snow cloak, boost evasions in snowstorm. Nature: Hasty (+Speed, -Def) EV: 128 HP, 130 Sp Atk, 252 Speed Will-o-wisp (inflicts burn / lowers attack of opponent) Hex (more powerful when opponent has status like burn/poison/paralysis) Blizzard (doesn't miss in snowstorm, 70% accuracy otherwise, most powerful ice attack) Snowscape - snow weather set up - ice types get 50% def (no damage to non-ice types), blizzard doesn't miss

#873 Frosmoth- Item: Sitrus berry (restores 25% health when health goes below 50%) Ability: Ice scales. Halves dmg from sp atk. Nature: Modest (+Sp Atk, -Atk) EV: 252 Sp Atk, 252 Speed, 6 HP Quiver dance (increase speed/special defense/special attack) Blizzard (doesn't miss in snowstorm, 70% accuracy otherwise, most powerful ice attack) Tailwind (increases team speed for set duration) Bug Buzz (powerful/accurage bug stab)

#914 Quaquaval - Item: Lum berry (heals any status, 1 time use) Ability: Moxie (increase attack every time it knocks out opponent) Nature: Adamant (+Atk, - Sp Atk) EV: 252 Atk, 252 Speed, 6 HP Aqua step (speed boost/water stab) Close Combat (most powerful move/fighting stab, lowers defenses) Ice spinner (removes environmental hazards from the field, very important against stealth rocks, which would do 25% total health damage against Froslass/Lapras, and 50% against Frosmoth) U-Turn (chip damage / strategic retreat / bug type coverage)

Vaporeon will be the main staller and weather setup. With a bold nature, and specialized training to bolster its health and defense, it relies on setting up Rain Dance. With it's Hydration ability, any status inflicted on it (burn/paralysis/sleep/poison) will be healed in the rain. Holding leftovers will be the only real recovery for it. Due to the 50% boost from Rain Dance, Vaporeon really doesn't need any investment in special attack for Scald to hit hard. From there, Scald and Toxic will be the primary threats from Vaporeon. 30% burn chance from Scald can shut down a physically offensive threat and inflict a status on anything immune to poisoning (poison/steel). Toxic will put a ticking clock on any pokemon that it hits, and is devastating for any defensive stalls. Ice Beam is a solid option for coverage, and the rare freeze/frostbite (depending on gen 8 / gen 9 mechanics) can occasionally turn the tide of battle, whether by incapacitating a threat, or shutting down a special attacker. It is meant to tank and 1v1 most threats that cannot hit it super effectively.

Starmie is the hyper offensive sweeper. Timid in nature, it has been trained for speed and offensive power. Depending on the team that they are up against (if trainer knows the opposition ahead of time), they will either use choice specs for improved power, or a choice scarf to outrun any faster threats (especially in the gen 9 speed power creep meta). Surf / Psychic are the primary moves to use for the same type attack bonus against neutral threats, and Thunderbolt and Ice Beam give Starmie near perfect super effective coverage in combination with the other moves (Bug, Steel, Fairy, Normal, Dark, and Ghost are the only types that are NOT hit super effectively by Starmie on its own). Really simple: just switch in, use the most effective move (that it is now locked into), and switch out when needed. Its Natural Cure ability will heal any status effects that may have affected it whenever it switches out.

Lapras is another pokemon filling a similar role to vaporeon, only it's more tailored for double battles and team support. It will know both Rain Dance and Snowscape to set up weather to support the team. The rain will be most beneficial for vaporeon in case it cannot set up due to a lack of safe switch in / in a double battle where it would be better for it to use a move, but will boost all water moves on the field. Snowscape is more beneficial for Lapras itself, giving it a much needed 50% defense boost to act as a real tank, and will benefit any ice types switching in. Due to the double weather coverage, its only offensive move will be weather ball, which is double power and changes typing when the user is under a weather condition (rain = water, snow = ice, sun = fire, sandstorm = rock, no weather = normal). Its final move is Life Dew, where it can heal itself and its ally in battle (ally needs to be on the field and participating in fight). Lapras has a calm nature, making it good in a crisis to care for its allies both in and out of battle.

Froslass is a debilitator in build. While fast like Starmie, it lacks the same power. Frosslass has a hasty nature that has been tempered somewhat on its training to increase its speed to avoid attacks and some physical conidtioning to be able to stay in the fight just a little longer. It makes up for this with situationally more powerful moves. This pokemon will most often be switched in after Lapras sets up snow to ensure that its powerful blizzard cannot ever miss, and to benefit from snow's defense boost to other ice types. Other than that, it relies on Will-o-Wisp to debilitate physical threats with burns, and boost the power of its own Hex move. If it ever encounters a threat that it cannot win against, it will use Destiny Bond to take down the enemy with it. In desperate battles, sometimes Frosslass will be sent in solely for its fast Destiny Bond to neutralize a team-ending threat.

Frosmoth, the most elegant pokemon and specially powerful on the team, also happens to be the most modest. Despite its modesty, and what the pokedex may say about its abilities, Frosmoth can and will sweep entire teams if not dealt with quickly. Its ice scales ability makes it surprisingly resistant to special attacks, and when combined with Lapras' Snowscape for its defense boost, this moth is suprisingly durable. Its first move in most situations is using Quiver Dance, where its special attack, special defense, and speed are boosted. This makes its Blizzard devastatingly powerful, especially when combined with the snowstorm weather effect, where it bypasses all accuracy checks. Outside of that weather, its 70% accuracy makes it a high risk/high reward move. For reliable damage, Bug Buzz will be Frosmoth's primary move outside of weather, or against grass/psychic/dark types. While another offensive move may be a more typical choice, Frosmoth can support the rest of the team with Tailwind: giving the whole team a temporary speed boost. This is very useful in doubles or right before a switch/imminent defeat.

Quaquaval is the ace up Ami's sleeve. The sole physical attacker, this pokemon can truly stand alone against most threat. It has an adamant nature, it is nearly impossible to get this pokemon to back down, whether its through its dance performances, or in battling. Its training focused on speed and power, which also benefits its dancing outside of combat. Its Moxie ability makes it more powerful every time it knocks out an opponent, and Aqua Step makes it faster every time the move is used. As such, if used as a revenge killer or to finish off an oponent near the start of the battle, Quaquaval will snowball HARD. It also knows Close Combat, its most powerful move but also lowers its defenses, but that is usually not a concern when its offense and speed are being boosted almost every turn. Ice Spinner is a powerful physical ice type move that can also clear hazards like Spikes or Steath Rocks from the field, the later of which is devastating for each ice type on the team (especially Frosmoth). Its final move, U-Turn, allows it to do damage before switching out for another pokemon, ensuring it will get decent damage before strategically retreating.

Art Credit

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

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user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

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user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

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user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

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user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

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user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

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user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[incendiobrock]

The Driskill Hotel {Chris Sturniolo}

Summary: fem!reader x bf!Chris go to Austin, Texas with Matt and Nick to film a video for Sam and Colby's channel at the Driskill Hotel. The reader is very sensitive to the supernatural and gets convinced to do the elevator ritual alone... What could possibly go wrong? ;)

Warnings: anxiety/panic attacks, ghostly encounters, fear of elevators, language, FLUFFFFF

A/N: I know this video is from awhile ago but I've had this idea and couldn't stop thinking about it. I started my page with imagines like this for Colby x reader and so I wanted to throw it back to my roots and make a Chris x reader (because I'm a die hard Chris girl)

Part 2??

You had been a fan of Sam and Colby for years, enjoying their content and being fascinated with their supernatural findings. There was always a part of you that was convinced you had a special connection with the supernatural, feeling extremely vulnerable and tethered to their world. Maybe it was due to your empathic nature, or maybe you were a undiscovered medium that hadn’t tapped into your powers.

You never tapped into your "abilities" because you were scared of what could possibly come from speaking to the dead. But when Nick, Matt, and Chris (and yourself) got asked to join in for an XPLR video on Sam and Colby's channel, you all knew that you couldn't pass it down. This is what led you all to Austin, Texas where the historic, haunted, Driskill Hotel was located.

The night had started somewhat normal, you all walked through the hotel with a tour guide where she explained the history of the building as well as the ghost inhabitants. Throughout the tour you would catch glimpses of shadow figures on the wall, hearing inaudible voices, and being extra sensitive to smells like cigar smoke and roses. The fear was definitely building inside of you when you observed that none of the rest of the group seemed to be experiencing the same things you were. You did your best to hold it together, knowing the triplets were excited to be included in the video, and not wanting to ruin your own experience of an inner fangirl being on an XPLR trip.

As the tour wrapped up and the night went on, Sam and Colby began to lead the investigation portion of their video. You stayed glued to Chris' side, feeling comfort in his presence, even with everything going on around you. Chris held an EMF reader in his left hand as his right hand was busy interlocking your fingers, running his thumb over your knuckles soothingly. He couldn't tell if you were nervous or if you were just trying to hone in on filming the video since you were all a guest to Sam and Colby's channel.

You and Chris stayed slightly behind the group as you made your way over to the elevators on the main lobby for the next part of the video, the elevator ritual. The elevators had already been acting up earlier in the night, not wanting to take you guys up to the floor you had requested. Elevators weren't necessarily your favorite inventions, a slight irrational fear of being stuck in one or one falling with you inside.

"Matt, the ghosts seem to really like you. Maybe you should be the one to do the ritual." You heard Sam say, observing how the EMF in Matt's hand continued to light up to red as they crossed through the grand lobby. As you passed by the receptionist desk you saw the figure of a tall man dart across the wall, making you subconsciously squeeze Chris' hand out of fright. "What's up baby? You okay?" Chris asked softly, pausing in his tracks to check up on you.

"Did you see that?" You asked him back, hoping that maybe you weren't going as crazy as you thought you were. Chris furrowed his eyebrows, glancing around the rotunda, trying to see whatever it was you were talking about. "See what?"

You let out a shaky breath, your palms becoming clammy as all the supernatural sensitivity was beginning to catch up to you. The hand that was holding onto Chris' disconnected as you rubbed the sweat on your pants, "I keep seeing shadows on the walls..." Chris frowns at your reply, wrapping his arms over your shoulders and pulling you into a hug. His lips pressed a firm kiss on your forehead, "I won't let anything hurt you, I promise."

"Chris! Y/n! You guys coming?" Colby asked, staring at you two from down the hall where they had stopped in front of the elevators. "Yeah we're coming, sorry!" Chris responded, gently pulling away from the hug and instantly wrapping his hand back in yours. As you stood in front of the elevator doors Sam explained to the camera, and to all of you, what the elevator ritual would consist of.

"y/n, will you do the honors?" Sam questioned, pulling your out of your trance and causing your jaw to drop open. "Huh? What?" You stuttered, not registering what he had elected you to do for this ritual.

"Do you want to do the ritual?" He rephrased, looking at you with big, hopeful eyes. Your body tensed at the thought, not only did elevators terrify you, but you had already been experiencing paranormal things the whole night. "You don't have to if you don't want." Chris said, breaking the short silence that filled the room, knowing you were already on edge and trying to stand up for you in case you were wary about doing it. "Uh, yeah, I think I could do it... I would just need to write down the order of the floors." You said, uncertainty filling your voice.

"Awesome! I'll text it to you." Sam said, beginning to type up a message to send to your phone. A lump began to form in your throat as you awaited the notification being sent to you. Chris gently rubbed your lower back, doing his best to calm your anxiety without bringing too much attention to your state, understanding that you didn't like when others were aware of your intimate emotions. Your phone vibrated in your hand, looking down to see the message;

12:00AM

Sam: 4, 2, 6, 2, 10, 5, 1

"Okay it's exactly midnight, you have to start now." Colby said, pressing the up button and watching the elevator door open. You took the camera from him, not saying a word as you faced the elevator. You swallowed the lump in your throat, knowing there was no way you could back out of this now. Stepping into the elevator you instantly felt chills run up your spine.

"Now remember, when you get to the fifth floor a lady might join you. If she does then when you try to come back down to the lobby the elevator will actually go up to the tenth floor, that's how we will know it worked. If it comes back down to one then the lady didn't enter and the ritual failed." Sam said, reminding you and the audience how things were supposed to go.

Shakily, your finger made its way up to press the number four, officially beginning the ritual. The door slowly shut in front of you, keeping eye contact with Chris until you couldn't anymore. The elevator rose and the door opened, nobody was there. Floor two, nothing.

Sixth floor.

Second floor, again.

Tenth floor.

Then finally, the fifth floor. Your breath caught in your throat as the elevator door opened unusually slow, revealing an empty hallway. 'This is just a game', 'It's not real', you tried reminding yourself as your heart beat uncontrollably inside your chest. You waited for a couple seconds before pressing the button for the first floor, praying that this stupid ritual hadn't actually worked. The doors shut and the elevator began to descend back to the first floor, allowing you to let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. "I guess the ritual failed guys," You lightly giggled talking into the camera, feeling relief wash over your whole body.

"Woah!" You yelped, almost dropping the camera as the elevator slightly dropped, the lights inside flickering. The screen above the door signaling that you were on the third floor. Before you knew it the elevator came to a halt, stopping dead in its tracks on the third floor.

"What? Oh no, no, no, no, no..." You whispered, panic rising inside of you as you dropped the camera to the floor and made your way to the control panel. You smashed the button for the first floor over and over again, hoping the elevator would start to move again. Nothing was happening however, the buttons not even lighting up when you pressed them. You began to reach into your back pocket for your phone, pulling it out to call Chris.

The dial tone played as you dropped to the floor in a seated position, legs shaking beneath you. After three rings Chris' voice filled your left ear, "Hey babe, why did you stop on the third floor? We were waiting for you to come back down-" He said quickly before you cut him off.

"Chris! The elevator is stuck! I don't know what to do, I'm freaking the fuck out!" Your breath became labored as you heaved in and out, feeling like no matter how much air you inhaled it wasn't reaching your lungs correctly. "Woah, woah. Okay, calm down please! Just breath alright? Listen to my breathing!" Chris instructed, knowing you were on the verge of a panic attack.

He let out slow, steady breaths of air while your vision began to blur with tears. Your head started to heat up and your ears began to ring, "I-I can't Chris... I can't breathe!" You huffed, clenching your hand over your aching heart.

"The elevators stuck, somebody go try and find someone to help!" You faintly heard Chris yell to the other boys, holding the phone away from his ear so it wasn't directed to you. "Yes you can, I believe in you babe. Nick is going to get some help, okay? Just hang in there." He continued to comfort you through the phone, coaching your breath back to normal as Nick found an employee. After five minutes, which felt like an eternity to you, the elevator doors where being pried open. The elevator had stopped just barely off center to the second floor, making the door inoperable on your side.

When the doors were finally opened you couldn't help but let the tears you had been containing fall, all the overwhelming fear catching up to your eyes. The employee held out a hand for you as you jumped the three foot distance onto the second floor lobby, landing slightly unsteady as the tears blurred your vision. Chris rushed over to you, faster than you had ever seen him move before, pulling you deep into his embrace.

"There, there, I got you. I got you, don't worry." He said, running his big hand through your hair. Your arms wrapped tightly around his torso, scared that he might disappear if you didn't hold him close. Tears stained his jacket sleeve as you buried your head into his shoulder. You both stayed like that for awhile, the others watching as you crumbled into Chris' arms.

Once you had finally cooled down, you all sat on some couches that were in the main lobby. You drank some water that Nick had brought for you as you stayed by Chris' side, his arm wrapped over your shoulders. "Y/n, I am so so sorry that the elevator got stuck. I had no idea that was going to happen and I feel horrible. I didn't realize you were scared of elevators." Sam apologized to you, feeling guilty that he had put you in this position in the first place.

"Sam, it's not your fault! How would you have known the elevator was going to get stuck?" You said sincerely, appreciating his apology even though he had nothing to do with the unfortunate situation.

"If you guys need to call it a night and go back to your hotel, we completely understand." Colby said, offering to end the night where it was instead of finishing out the investigation. "No, it's okay. I'm good now, really. There's no need to scrap the rest of the video just because of me." You reassured, wanting the boys to finish the video they had put so much effort into already.

"Are you sure?" Chris asked you.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now who's ready for the Estes Method?"

[goldustwomun]

pacifier (s.b.)

pairing: sirius black x younger potter! reader

summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. anyway, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?

warnings: allusions to sex (minors dni!!!), swearing, cocky sirius and like kind of an annoying younger sister reader (but also that's literally me lol), bad transitions between light hearted banter and angst but i'm trying my best RIP, i imagine sirius to be mid-20s and reader only 3/4 years younger (but everyone is OF AGE), mommy issues if you squint

wc: 4.9k+

note: soooo i'm back :D again :D i'm almost done with second year and actually somewhat ahead with all my papers (with very minimal finals; def recommend being a history major x) and i've just been missing the community so enjoy this! i had this first chapter posted a while back (like maybe a year) but it was actually ass so i've redone it a little :)))) as always, reblogs and comments are MUCH appreciated and i can't wait to interact w/ y'all over this because i have been DAYDREAMING about brother's bf sirius :')

Oh but, babe, you know I've tried and failed But you just don't know how it feels To lose something you never have and never will

“What do you mean he’s working at the shop as well?!” you all but screeched, chasing your Mother around the kitchen, feeling a lot like the pesky youngest child you were. 

“He needs some help so we offered to give him a job. Honestly sweetheart, aren’t you too old for this childish feud?”

“Too old? Shouldn’t you be saying that to him? He’s like– thirty or something, and still continues to be the bane of my existence. Fucking Bla–”

Your Mother whirled on you abruptly, brandishing the wooden spoon she was about to stir the boiling pot with right in your face.

“Oi, language! I would tell him the same but unluckily for you, you’re my daughter and currently living under my roof, so you get to hear it first.” She gave you a saccharine sweet smile, the kind that had you biting back the urge to roll your eyes.

“--now, he’s been gone for such a long time, and we’re all very excited to see him, so don’t ruin this reunion with any more of your tantrums.”

You opened your mouth once more, intent on not letting the argument die there, but your Father bounded into the kitchen at the same moment, ruffling up your hair with a “Hey there, kiddo,” before promptly moving on to snake his hands around your Mother’s waist.

“Looking as beautiful as always, my dear,” he cooed into her ear. She let out an uncharacteristic giggle that had you bolting from the kitchen before you were scarred any further.

Your parents’ tooth-aching affections for each other was just that: sweet, but sickly all the same.

Somewhere inside of you, in between the urge for unattainable perfection and the fear of failure, you yearned for a love like theirs. Something genuine but passionate, able to withstand the test of time.

James, your older brother, had found it with Lily, and their son Harry being a product of their young but no less intense love. 

You loved that kid like he was your own. Would beg James to let you come over, play with the babbling toddler for a few hours, even going as far as to offer up your weekends, encouraging the young couple to “go out, live a little!”. But they were about as infatuated with their own child as you were, and had a never-ending supply of friends who were equally as eager to help out.

And one of those always eager friends was currently pounding his stupid fist against your stupid front door, and you were already riled up from the news your mother had broken to you only moments earlier, head pounding and fists balled into shaking fists, that you couldn’t take seeing his face quite literally in front of you, as well. 

You shoved past James, knocking him back a step as his hand reached for the door to let his best mate in. You caught a glimpse of him on the doorstep, the first in almost two years– hair unruly like he’d just rolled out of bed, long, black strands; newly tanned skin blushing under the heat of the sun; those thick, brooding eyebrows that raised up in your direction – eughh. 

“What’s got your knickers in a bunch?” James called at your retreating figure, shouting loud enough to be heard over your heavy footsteps despite the carpeted floor. 

“Ask your best mate over there!” you answered back with a bite, slamming your room door shut.

“Fuck,” he sighed, defeated, yanking his confused friend in and a chucking a thumb towards the stairs. “How’ve you managed to piss her off before you even got here?” he asked incredulously. “Peace– we had peace in this house for the past two years since you’ve been off, and now look–! It’s a bloody riot!”

“Oi– I’ve done nothing,” he moaned indignantly, hanging his coat and scarf on the gold-crested hooks by the door. “--I think,” he added for good measure after a beat. "I mean, I've only just stepped inside."

Sirius had yet to quite grasp why you got under his skin so quick, squirming between his nerves like a misfired electrical impulse.

You’d grown up together, spent every waking moment in each other’s presence when he was at the Potter residence (which happened to be just about always given his own family situation). If books and movies were to be trusted, what with fiction being so reminiscent of real-life, he'd have expected be like some sort of brotherly figure to you.

But even the thought of it had bile creeping up his through, as if it was so unfathomably wrong his body refused to entertain the possibility of it.

So no. Something about you and your irritatingly know-it-all personality, shrill when indignant voice (which was rather often around him), your need to always be right – something about you brought the worse out of him.

Had him constantly searching for something new to point out, to irritate you all over again, hit the nail on your specific head - something to really push you that little bit over the edge. 

It wasn't even like he enjoyed it, watching you get all huffy, nostrils flared, brows knitted together, face verging on a flushed red. Sirisu was well aware that with every jab the two of you threw at each other, things got a little more out of hand.

Right before he had left, two years journeying through the glades of Scotland, then France, Greece, Türkiye, India, Taiwan (he'd been close to everywhere), he had made the mistake of aiming a particularly ruthless dig at you, and watching your face crumple, devastated and defeated, it had finally cracked him inside.

But there wasn't anything he could do about it then, what with leaving the next day, and two years later, it seemed a little too late.

The rest of the Potter family didn’t share your sentiments about Sirius, and rather adored him immeasurably. Had since he’d taken to hiding out in their house after a particularly brutal fight at home when he was only eleven. Heck, he’d even attended every Potter-family gathering, dinner, birthday, you name it, since then. It was why he came over every Sunday for a roast, pudding and some chat – he could never put into words what your family had done for him, the safety, security, home, even, they'd given him when he’d been lost and entirely clueless of what a real family looked like.

So he made the thirty-minute drive, every Sunday, much to your irritation. He plastered on the biggest smile for your Mum, complimenting every minute detail of the meal she cooked for the family, drank a glass of whiskey and smoked a cigar with your Dad; he was even Harry’s favourite, always humming quiet melodies into the youngest Potter’s ear.

With him away, he’d missed out on the family time he usually looked forward to every weekend. Mondays seemed a lot less dreadful after having a belly-full of Mrs Potter’s food.

Still, he’d sent postcards and printed pictures of everywhere he went, the sights he’d seen, people he’d met. It wasn’t the same, not without the lot of you to pester him but he’d needed some time to find himself.

He still wasn’t sure if he’d found what he was looking for, but the money had to have run out eventually so he was back home, ready to work and settle down in his life for once after graduating Hogwarts. 

Sirius followed James into the living room where he found Lily, sipping on a glass of red, sitting by the empty fireplace. Instead, a window had been cracked in to let the temperate wind in.

She perked up as they entered, waving with that soul-wrenching smile of hers that could persuade even the most strong-willed of men into submission. 

“Pads, you’re back!” she called from her seat. "And you've grown a moustache-- interesting choice of facial hair." Sirius, however, raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, ignoring her greeting-slash-judgement as he peered into the empty crib by her side, even going as far as to search under it as if the toddler might have escaped.

“Harry’s gone to bed in the guest room. There was a bit of a shouting match before you arrived,” James explained, sinking into the space beside his wife and pulling her into his side. “Actually, now that I think about it, there was a lot of shouting after you arrived as well.” 

Lily snorted, snuggling into her husband without hesitation, and Sirius couldn’t help but avert his eyes, feeling entirely like he was imposing on an intimate moment as the two of them whispered in the other’s ear.

“Well, don’t mind me. Sitting here, all by my lonesome, no company or polite chatter to partake in, not even my dashing God son to entertain me” he sighed, dramatically, to no one in particular. James rolled his eyes at his best friend’s antics, chucking a frilly throw-pillow at his face (that’s what they’re for, right?) which he just as easily caught. 

“Har-Har! Ever the clown, Paddy,” James mocked, flipping him off just in time for his Mum to walk in and see.

“James! Don’t aim such crude displays at my son,” she scolded, wrapping her wrinkled arms around Sirius’ shoulders from behind his chair. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head affectionately. Sirius only whimpered in agreement, leaning into her motherly touch and whining on and on about how James was being a right bully. 

“My sweet child, I’ve missed you!” She beamed down at him, and that longing Sirius sometimes felt for his own Mother’s approval, her devotion or fondness, it lessened. 

“But you didn’t– He was just!-- You missed– arghh!” James groaned defeatedly, head flailed back to rest against the sofa, receiving no sympathies from his giggling wife and glaring Mother. “I’m starting to understand why she hates you.”

Sirius’ eyes flashed at that– did you really hate him? Had it gotten to that point?

At the mention of your name but current absence, Mrs Potter ordered, “Go call your sister for dinner, I’ve set the table.” 

He began to protest, failing to come up with a half-decent reason why he can’t walk up the two flights of stairs and pull your petulant frame from your bed– but Sirius interrupted in time, before James could make any more of a fool himself in front of his own Mother.

“I’ll go get her. Got to figure out what I did this time,” he offered coolly. 

Euphemia, that is, Mrs Potter, had a strict no-apparting rule in her house, had lost too many expensive vases from James and Sirius’ apparition-sprees the second they’d turned seventeen.

You already had your licence, having been of legal age for some time, and had, since graduating (top of the class, as you tended to point out, much to your Ravenclaw friends’ dismay) from Hogwarts, found a job at a school in the muggle world, teaching children English Literature in preparation of some exam -- O Levels, you’d called them. 

Sirius thought it to be some sort of torture device - these O Levels – but you’d smacked him across the head in admonishment with whatever book was in your hand before he could say much else. Having a family-run bookshop made it so that the books, or the weapons (in Sirius' mind at least), were in endless supply for you.

Your love for reading had come from him, your Father, from when he’d stay up till the late hours of the night, hushed whispers under your bed sheet so your Mother wouldn’t hear, as he read you the Classics in animated voices that had you completely enchanted. He made sparks fly from the tip of his wand, bright colours that your little eyes couldn’t quite get enough of.

You loved being a wizard, were eternally grateful for the world you lived in and the undeniable awe of it all. But words, books, literature – they were enough magic for you, took you to places you could only ever dream to visit, and had you feeling such all-consuming emotions that sometimes, you wondered if you’d ever make it to the end of the page, or chapter, or book. 

“Oi– your Mum’s put out dinner, she’s calling you downstairs,” he called through the thick wood of your door. 

Sirius didn’t know why he such an uneasy feeling settled into the pit of his stomach, like he'd swallowed some moldy bread or a particularly strong cider.

He's known you your whole life, watched you graduate from pencil to quill, and then again from Hogwarts.

Two years was a long a time, and the thought of you holding what he had said all those months ago -- what he hadn't meant, not really -- he was dreading the confrontation.

He nudged the door open when you didn’t respond, only to find you slumped across your bed, glaring, silently, at the ceiling and the pale-orange ring of light from the lamp on your bedside table.

You certainly looked different– older, possibly? He couldn’t quite place what had changed, only that he knew something had. In the way you dressed, styled your hair, held yourself. Even the look of your room– no longer plastered in repeated patterns of owls and roses, but instead a single wall painted a burnt umber and with the remaining covered in tapestries and muggle band posters hanging across every wall.

A stack of vinyls were shoved into one side of your room, along with stacks of books, some old and missing a few pages, while others were untouched. 

You heard the door click open, sitting up on your elbows to see a Sirius, oozing an annoying amount of effortless confidence, and leaning against your doorframe. 

Something in your chest stumbled almost immediately. He looked the same as the day he'd scolded you before leaving, and those stupid, brown eyes of his, like murky swamps you wouldn't be caught dead looking into, were training on you.

Though, he might’ve managed to actually tan, now that you really looked at him, imagining the broad planes of his shoulders, hidden by a thin linen button up, were more sun-kissed than milky-pale now. 

Except you refused to even entertain the thought. You were not thinking of him or his skin or his bare chest or--

“What’s with your face?” you asked, already knowing you'd regret the answer.

“Was that meant to be a greeting?” His eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Hi Sirius-- what’s with your face?” you answered, again, between clenched teeth. 

“You changed your room,” was his only response, and really, what did he expect to say to that?

"I did. Figured I'd use your absence wisely," you snarked back, meeting his gaze as you continued, "--you know, finally grow up and all that."

And you hadn't forgotten, but he didn't blame you.

You got up at his lack of silence, walking the few steps up to him, head tilted like a cat, wary of her surroundings but curious nonetheless.

"Was there something you wanted, Sirius?"

And fuck if the way you said his name didn't have him fighting whatever foreign feeling, urge, instinct was shouting at him in that moment.

You walked past, trembling as your shoulders touched, making it all the way to the bottom of the stairs before you had your moment of revelation as well.

Somehow, whether it had been a slow process over his two-year absence or something far more sudden in the past few minutes, he'd wormed his way back between the cracks of your heart, and this time, you worried you wouldn't survive.

The quiet jingle of the bell tickled your ears as you opened the door to the bookshop, dust immediately invading your senses as you fought back a harsh cough.

Your Dad pushed in front of you, forcing the door to stay open by propping a stack of intimidatingly large books in front of it. You laughed silently to yourself, noting how they were all Dickens (he hated Dickens, said his novels were disturbingly boring and unnecessarily detailed). 

“So, you can dust a little, and sweep the floor, before we open. Count the money in the till, as well, that’s very important,” he noted off, and you suddenly wished you had a pen and a pad of paper to write it all down.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t been helping out at the shop since when you were younger, but this was the first time you’d been granted the responsibility of having it all to yourself (minus the inconvenience that was Sirius Black). 

You were deemed an adult now – loved to point it out any chance you got, and that meant that your Dad trusted you enough to not hover over your shoulder every time you took a shift. He was working fewer hours, though now, none, as he wanted to finish the novel he’d been writing for the past decade after melodramatically announcing at the dinner table that “It’s time!” 

You weren’t sure what that exactly meant, but you weren’t about to argue with the man paying you an overly generous ten pounds an hour. 

You didn’t need the money for yourself, what with still living at your parent’s house, but you wanted to contribute to the house and expenses and what not, even if it was a minuscule sum. 

“Another thing,” he added, stopping, rather abruptly, in front of you, voice worryingly grave as he placed his large palms over either of your shoulders. “Please,” he begged, brows dipping, “don’t fight with Sirius in front of the customers.”

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already after me,” you objected, pulling back from his usually comforting hold and pulling the broom out from behind the counter. His hands fell defeatedly against his sides as he sighed, standing in your way before you could mope yourself into a tizzy before the work day had even started. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he ensured, pulling you into his tight embrace once more. “You know you’re my number one, sweetheart. Just don’t like seeing you so upset.”

James always teased you for being your Father’s favourite, and you’d never argue, relishing in his pointed fingers and sneering words, because it was true– there was something between you and your Father, an understanding that no one else had clued in on.

He eased your worries like no one else could, smoothed irked creases across your face, replacing them with belly-hurting laughter lines and a grin so wide, you were worried it would fall off your face.

Anyway, James was the same with your Mum. You found her difficult to communicate with, what with her being as hot-heated as you were, so as much as you and your Dad got along, you butted heads with your Mum just as much.

“It’s ‘cause you two are so similar, like twins, I tell you!” But it did little to calm your nerves around her, or stoke the flames of anger you so often felt. 

You were about to respond, ready to tell your Dad just how much you loved him, when someone crashed through the door, slamming into the counter you were standing behind. You turned, eyes connecting with your (late) colleague. He looked utterly windswept, as if he’d run – or been chased – the whole way there. 

“You okay, son?” your Dad asked, worry shifting from you to the panting, bent-over Sirius. 

“Me? Oh– peachy, just– peachy,” he answered between heavy breaths, waving off his doting hands. “Sorry I’m late, got a little carried away with something and lost track of time.”

You were conscious of how your Dad didn’t offer Sirius the same advice, to not pick a fight or argue or whatever it was the two of you did, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how he had everyone charmed.

So you busied yourself behind the till, doing as you were instructed and counting the money, writing down the number of each of the bills on a notepad you pulled from the drawer at your waist. 

Your Dad left soon after, turning the closed sign out front to open as he wished you, and Sirius, good luck. 

“Guess it’s just the two of us, little Potter,” Sirius pointed out, already sounding bored as he fell into a stool at your side. He leaned his head against his arm, stretching it from side to side as he groaned at his tense muscles.

You didn’t mean to stare, swore it wasn’t something you’d let become a habit, but your gaze immediately travelled to the exposed skin of his neck, zeroing in on the trail of newly-formed purple bruises  down the side.

You snorted, shaking your head at him, slamming the money compartment shut a little too aggressively so that it caught Sirius’ attention. He recognised your expression to be something close to amusement, jabbing you in your side until you were scowling and slapping his fingers away.

“What’s wrong with you– you’re acting like a fucking child,” you admonished, moving out of reach and resting a hand on your hip. 

“Why’d you make that face?” he asked instead of answering your question, nodding at you like it was you who had started it.

“It’s nothing,” you went with, hearing your Father’s words echoing in your mind from just moments ago. You needed to diffuse the situation before you really got mad, because past that point, you weren’t responsible for what you said– or did. 

So you ventured into the aisles of books, a curious Sirius on your heels, following you like a lost, yapping puppy. “If it’s nothing then why are you running away?” he pushed back.

You ignored him pointedly, stopping to stack a few books and dust along the shelves. No one had come in yet, still too early in the morning for any tourists to stumble upon your admittedly quaint but bursting shop. 

The sunlight barely filtered past the dense collection of books and mahogany shelves that lined the walls, but the windows stretched to the tall ceilings, and if you went up the spiralling staircase at the centre of the store, you’d find yourself in a cosy loft space, bathed in gold and stuffed with arm chairs and sofas for people to sit and read in. 

It was your favourite part of the store, and you were seriously debating hiding up there on your first day, just to get away from the walking-plague that followed you. 

“Come on– tell me,” he whined, standing too close for your liking. You side-stepped away, brushing a cloth against the worn covers of the Mystery section. He followed suit, returning to his previous position, and this time, you had no way out with the wall of books you’d met. 

You turned, facing him and finally acknowledged his presence. “You lied,” you stated matter-of-factly, loving that you actually had the upper-hand with him. As much as you prided yourself with being quick-witted, Sirius always seemed to find a way to stay on-top.

“Gonna have to give me something more than that, darling. Lied about what?” he countered, raising an eyebrow at you. 

You bristled at the endermeant but continued nonetheless.,

“You weren't busy. You were screwing some girl according to the bruises on your neck,” you stared pointedly at the affected area now, though it was covered by his hair in this position. His hand flew to his neck, as if hoping to shield them from your gaze.

“That’s none of your business Potter,” he countered, irritated. 

“It actually is my business when you’re both late to your job and lying to my Father,” you threw back, shoving forward and relishing in his slight stumble back– as if he hadn’t yet noticed the two of you were so so close. 

“You can’t–” his eyes were wide, worried, as he grabbed your elbow, forcing you to meet his gaze, “You can’t tell him. He’ll be so disappointed and I can’t–”

You frowned at the look of genuine distress written so plainly across of his face. If you two were anyone else, you might've let it go.

Might've--

“Well tough shit, Sirius. You’re an adult, now. This is the real world we’re talking about and not whatever fantasy you've been frolicking about these past two years." You were fuming, unnecessarily so, but both of you knew this was fight had been years in the making.

"I understand you lack the ability to form real, genuine connections but come on, Sirius. You're not a fucking teenager. Grow a pair and take some responsibility for once in your life!"

And really, you deserved it, now that you thought back. His anger was reasonable but your need to poke straight through his ribcage, wrap your fist around his heart and squeeze tight, was not. 

“Fuck you, Potter.” he bit out. “Just because you're not getting any doesn't mean the rest of us have to be equally as miserable."

It was already going to shit, Sirius was well aware of it, but he couldn't get himself to stop. To just shut up.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking uptight all the time someone might actually give it to you too," his voice now barely above a whisper with his anger deflated as he stared, pained, at your reaction.

And it didn’t take long for you to react -- for your hand to fly up and connect with his cheek, hard. You hadn't done anything two years ago but he thinks he saw you consider it. So the fact that you had finally, struck across the face, spoke to how different things really were. How different you were.

"Potter, I--" and he was speechless when he really shouldn't have been. He swallowed, trying again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered then, fighting the urge to look away from your glassy stare. “I’m sorry, Potter. You know I don’t mean it.”

What you hated most was that you did know. You knew you both brought out the worst in each other. Only, you could never figure out why that was. Why you wanted to hurl insults at him for every comment or look or the stupid way he’d string together the most perfect sentence and his irritating eyes and mouth and–

“Excuse me? Is anyone here?” 

You inhaled, all sudden, as if only just realising what you had done. You brushed past him without a word, needing, more than ever, to put some space between the two of you. If not for your anger then for whatever pesky emotion was seeping through your cracks.

You were (reluctantly) pulled from wherever your thoughts had been racing to as you called into the store, “Just one moment!”

Sirius debated if this was a sign for him to get back onto a train to anywhere you were not. It didn’t matter if he had no money or nowhere to be, but if it meant he could avoid maiming you with his words, he couldn’t quite see a way out of his predicament. 

“Sirius!” you shouted again, no longer faking your emotions but rather genuinely just exasperated by him once more. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He managed to not get lost in the labyrinth of books, and found you by the travel section, chatting good-naturedly with a blonde in a tight dress.

“How can I help, doll?” he asked the blonde in question. His one tactic for almost every conundrum he’d ended up in was avoidance. And bloody hell was he good at it. 

He smiled at her, the customer, doing little to hide his admiration for the legs she had on display. She flushed a pretty pink, averting her gaze, lip between her teeth. Bingo! 

“Christ, you’re disgusting,” you muttered, mouth pouting and quiet enough that only he could hear.

“Only for you, sweetheart, only for you,” he bit back, not wanting the currently oblivious customer clue in on their conversation. “So, how can I help?”

“She needs that book–” you pointed to the top shelf, well out of reach. “--the green spine that says Amsterdam, but I can’t reach it and the step ladder is too heavy.”

“Alas! Only ever needed for my body, it seems,” he moaned with an irritating amount of flourish. 

“Whatever it takes to get the book down– do what you must, Black.” You patted his chest reassuringly, taking your spot, once again, behind the cash register.  

“So– planning a trip are you?” Sirius asked in between excessive displays of strength as he hauled the bulky ladder with a single hand. You glared at the girl as she swooned at him, wanting, rather unreasonably, for her to combust right where she stood.

But that was a ridiculous thought to begin with. You could barely stand to be even within a metre’s distance of the guy, let alone on the receiving end of his affections. You were tired, emotional and dehydrated. Must be. Though a glance at the clock had you realising it had barely been an hour since your day had started. 

So, maybe just emotional and dehydrated. 

“I’m going to get a coffee from across the street,” you announced, slugging your tote bag onto your shoulder as you walked past the preoccupied pair. Not waiting for a response, you stepped out into the early morning sun, frowning, for once, at the glare in your eyes and not the irritant you’d left behind. 

It was easier to refer to him as something pesky, infectious, fungus-like even, rather than the only person who knew how to break your heart (and despite your somewhat impenetrable facade, you let him do just that every time).

please please PLEASE reblog & leave some feedback <3 i'll boop you if you do x

[thisismyname43]

On today's addition of random plush stuff I do because I barely have any friends we have 🥁🥁🥁

SMG3 doing...something-?

Here we have a bored 3, just standing around thinking about how to save his cafe without starting an only fans

Oh? The fruit cake has started walking around, perhaps looking for another glass closet to hide inside

He found a discarded tablet! (He fucking stole my tablet what the hell-)

He's going to use it? Just don't ruin my search history I'm begging you-

He turned it on! (Don't mind my lockscreen)

SMG4's channel? Well supportive bf ig

Oh! Of course this walking rainbow decided to be a horny bastard, honestly should've seen it coming

Ah crap 4 caught him. Is he going to do something about it or..

Oh shit 3 noticed

I- oh...well nice romantic moment ig? Look they're even holding hands!

Yay for gay people

Uh

Hope you enjoyed watching me play with plushies. This was all shot in my bed, so shoutout to my bed?

3 and 4 say bye!

[embrace-your-illithid]

patch 7 Emperor stuff

I'm glad we got some new stuff at least! patch 7 ending spoilers:

did I miss anything added in the patch today?

Evil Emperor ending with no new lines, but cool animation! Also he looks hot as fk obviously! But I don't understand why they add dialog options like this, especially in a patch? You click it and it she's just like "nah can't do that", then presents the other 2 options? weird.

1a. Also, not Empy related, but I thought the evil Illithid Tav Grand Design ending was funny when they brought out the tadpole beer. Let's all hear it for the worst keg stand in the city's history everyone!

Also it WAS cool to see Illithid Tav in part of his armor :)

2. Updated Ansur cutscene where they added a cool animation for his reassembling BUT they made Emp look super evil. Honestly made me quite sad cause I really love how mournful he looked in that scene about his ex bf. :( Now he just glares evilly in this clippy weird darkness effect.

I don't like it.. Why ruin one of his few 4 - 5 cutscenes we get to enjoy seeing him in? why are they adding this extra, unneeded overtone? sad. No new lines.

(there is a funny bug where if you go loot the helmet before looting Ansur, at the end of the cutscene it shows the helmet glowing in midair back where you looted it from)

3. New romance scene dialog option and voice lines.................... wow I loved this one thank you Larian.......... I gotta go draw now bye :)

[hectorthedoggo]

Mahiru decides it’s her turn to do the parenting of es (inno verdict au)

THIS IS SO BAD OH MY GOd but if you guys wanna read it i suppose food is food. i am going on hiatus after this one (if all goes well) (I do have ~1.8k of next fugue chapter done but... i don't like it...)

-

start of character study fic that i never finished

When Mahiru was young, she had once found a baby bird in her yard. It had fallen from the nest, and it seemingly had nowhere to go.

It begged, yelled, for anyone to help it. Mahiru had excitedly taken it in, cradling it as gently as possible, finding all sorts of books in the library on how to take care of a baby bird.

As she had grown closer to it, in taking care of it, watching it grow, a new sense of pride came in. And, a new feeling, she would come to know, as posessiveness.

She didn’t hang out with her friends, instead opting to watch it hop around in her little homemade nest.

Eventually, her parents caught on, and explained to her, with slight horror, that she had done something bad.

But, they never explained what about it was bad. They didn’t let her outside often, after that incident.

But, she never learned from the incident.

It always stuck in her head, as she pined through reading romance, of the idea of one true love, one to fawn over until they both died, a love that lasted through trials and tribulations.

As the world threw more and more issues and expectations at her, she decided to latch onto that idea. Just as she had found that bird in her backyard, she believed it was fate.

-

The next time she had met the bird from her childhood was with Ren. He was crying on the school rooftop, and Mahiru took one look at him.

She knew.

So, she softly introduced herself, asking him what was wrong.

The rest was history.

-

He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

The one she thought would stay with her, forever, gone.

And it might’ve been just because of her.

Yapping yapping

Milgram used to be empty. There used to be nothing, a sense of doubt. The INNOCENT verdict changed everything.

She realized how true her love was. How perfect it was.

Post highlighting ideas

Okay guys so you have heard of overly-paternal Shidou. Now get ready for: overly-maternal Mahiru. (maybe in a fic). I just wanna explain my reasoning for believing in this so that it doesn’t seem sudden IF she gets like this.

Mahiru and Shidou are foils for a reason.

She’s in love with ‘love’, which can be interpreted as a lot. It could be interpreted as romantic, yes, but also platonic.

Yes, her guilty verdict didn’t do good, but imagine what an INNOCENT verdict would do. She would assume her idea of love is correct (it isn’t). (even with the guilty verdict, she kept kinda believing in love. *shivers*)

And, drawing from the bf was already suicidal mentality, that’s a sort of “i can fix him” mentality she took there. Like, finding an injured baby bird, and taking care of it to feel better about herself, despite accidentally ruining its future.

It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic in nature or not; she’s in love with the idea of taking care of sometihng.

That mentality would get WORSE. Because, I’m assuming she used love as a coping mechanism; which, would be expemplified in a stressful environment such as milgram.

I think they all need fixing, but guess who is ALONE. Guess who is young, pathetic, and not coping well with an environment they were forced into.

Guess who’s the equivilant of an injured baby bird. That’s right folks: Es Milgram.

I think it would start with minor things, like checking in with them.

And, they would want the comfort, they would crave it, but insist otherwise. She would figure out their craving, and OH GOOD LORD.

Someone’s not getting their complaints listened to (they don’t know better they don’t know true love_

She would fall deeper and deeper into her mentality of ‘they need my help, it’s so domestic’ ‘i’m useful this way’ ‘this is almost like my purpose’

I actually know someone who’s kinda like this (less intense ofc), but with dogs and children and says it’s kinda like this. So. i have some backing for this mentality.

She would enjoy taking care of them, too much. She would sing them to sleep, she would bring their meals, encourage them to rest, basically be an impromptu mother. (fluff except es is slowly watching their sense of agency and therefore get taken away from them)

But, she would also get a little exhausting to be around, to keep up with. They’re constantly getting their sense of authority undermined, but they’ve also become a little addicted to love

And that’s fitting perfectly into the gender roles she loves, too. She’s def vibing.

Eventually, it would get to be too much, and they would start locking their door unless they have a moment of weakness and open the door for her.

Which, would increase her relentless knocking. Mahiru’s known to be relentless in terms of her love (breakup ritual and shi)

I think eventually, they would give up, and simply let her in, asking her to leave them alone.

T2 she would get a guilty verdict because audience can’t deal with her.

And i think that would make her WORSE, like accidentally guilt-tripping them to why she got a guilty verdict; 

Es would have an emotional attachment to her (accident), and that would make things worse for them. Bc. guilty verdict

idk tho i’ll probably just gonna write some comfort scenes from this au. It would probably be called ‘nestling’ or smth like that :D es would get comfort but at what cost (sickfic cauesd by trying to stay away from Mahiru)

Adding on about traditional family roles; shidou could potentially also participate in this madness. He could end up being the mediator, like the “i agree but maybe leave this kid alone”

Meanwhile, this whole time, Es is trying to hold onto their sense of identity, they hate being ‘babied’. dumpsterfire

es just wants to be warden please stop adding them to the “new (unhealthy) family 💛🩶🩵” gc

#excuse to write a platonic yandere fic #because i really really wanna do that for like a period of 30 minutes then look back on it like tf why would i write thsi #would i be forgiven if i wrote a fic like that vote now on your phones # but would you guys gen wanna see this

Es weakly coughed, curling up on their bed, trying to ignore everything. Their eyes and nose leaaked, and they were utterly pathetic and fatigued.

There was a knock on their door. “Es? Es, can I come in? Sorry, you’re really worrying me…”

Please. Please, god, just leave me alone.

“Mahiru- please… go away…” Their voice was parched; they hadn’t wanted to go out and get water. Holing myself up seemed like the best solution, but…

“Es? Oh no, sweetie, you really don’t sound good. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Please leave me alone. “Go…”

The rapid knocking resumed. “Es, c’mon. Let me in… I’ll make you your favorite~!”

I’ve never had a favorite. I just needed the food.

Their head shot through with pain, and they let out a little whimper.

She gasped. “Oh no! You’re sick!” No shit, Sherlock. “C’mon, Es, you’re going to have to let me in… sickness can be very bad, if left alone like this! Y’know, just having someone with you can increase healing!”

I bet she read that in a magazine. She is right, though. I do need food, I do need to drink, I definitely need sleep.

I just… can’t. Not with her around. I was just trying to cut her off, to get her away from me. Why isn’t she going? It’s been 2 days, she’s literally slept outside of my room.

“Es?”

This feels like a horror movie. Please.

Another knock.

Something in them broke. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t die here, so I have to be dependent. Honestly, though…

They used the last bits of their strength to open the door, to let her in.

She looked like she had been crying, but immediately scooped their weak self up into her arms. I hate this. Please, let me go.

They didn’t have the voice to say that. It wasn’t as if she’d listen. She ran her hand through their hatless hair. “Wah! Es, I’ll just have to wash this. But I’ll have to feed you, first.”

Get away from me. I could’ve done that myself, it’s just… they shivered. I’m scared of her.

Hey, at least I understand her boyfriend a little more, a beaten up optimism pointed out. My opinion doesn’t matter. With that MV, I’m pretty sure she’s going to get guilty.

It doesn’t matter my opinion on the matter. It would be biased.

She kept cradling them, forgetting about their other basic needs, before they coughed. “Ah right! I’m so scatterbrained. Here, Es. I’ll lay you down, and bring the food to you. I’ll be right back with water, then I’m going to prepare the food!”

They didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know what to think.

She hummed, a stark contrast to the earlier desperation in her voice, as she moved them towards their bed, gently tucking them in.

“Alright, Es. I’ll be right back, don’t you worry!”

As soon as she left, they allowed themself some tears. I really don’t like this. This isn’t who I am. I can’t be doted on like this, I need to be working.

She won’t let me get a word in. I’m not sure what to think around her.

a/n: TOP FIVE ways to let a teen KNOW you LOVE them!!

Check in on them during their every waking hour

This is a sure sign that you love them. Really makes them feel seen!

(if they lock their door (totally by accident)) sleep outside their room for days on end :D

A great way to demonstrate care, and loyalty! Persistence is key!!

Make them lose their sense of identity

Don’t worry, they didn’t need it anyways! They don’t need to be warden!! That’s not important to you, and it shouldn’t continue.

Care for them when they get sick (totally not because they were trying to avoid interactions with you)

Teehee what are you talking about? It must be some outer source of stress!

It’s really fun when they’re dependent!! Cherish that!!

Don’t let them discourage you!

It only matters that you enjoy this love. They might be a little unreceptive, but they’ll warm up to you! It might just take a bit!

^ Make sure to repeat the first 4 steps to assure them you’re not leaving, no matter how hard they try!! They’re just misguided, dw!! :)

[kandyzee]

What do you think fionas childhood was like 💓

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY thanks for asking :pp.

I used to be a reallly big fiona fan, so I've thought about this a lot.

I imagine fionas upbringing was similar to Debbie's in alot of ways. They both find themselves in problematic relationships, forced to look after their siblings.

Fiona is mentioned to have a LONG sexual history as early as s1, where she's only 21. Given the lack of attention and validation she was getting, I think fiona has been having sex since she was a child. She probably fell into the "mature for her age" group. Her parents were neglecting her, possibly physically abusing her (we've seen Frank hit his kids in the show), and she wasn't able to get academic validation because she had to drop out. It wouldn't surprise me that this led her into having older bfs and stuff like that.

This makes even more sense to me given how she reacts to her siblins minor /adult relationships. Fiona didn't have anyone to tell her that her relationships were wrong, so when she saw her siblings going through the same thing, she saw nothing wrong with it. Like when she says that ned and Ian is "just sex"

We also see that she , like Debbie and a lot of the other female characters, is scared of abandonment. She tells Jimmy Steve that everybody leaves and keeps going back to Jimmy even though she knows he's bad for her because she's desperate for someone to stay. She rushes into relationships, remember when she married someone after like a week of daiting ?? Fiona has a hard time accepting love even though she craves it. She cheats and ruins one of her most stable relationships. I think that all comes from the way she was treated in her romantic relationships as a child. Of course, a lot of her abandonment fear comes from Monica, too.

Okay moving away from guys.

We know fiona ran track in school and that she was really fucking good at it. This was probably one of the most stable things in her life, an activity away from her siblings and the stress of home. Running is a good way to feel in control. I think fiona developed problems around running ? I'm not sure what exactly you would call it. Fiona would push herself too hard on the track so that she was responsible for the aches she felt instead of them being stressed. I can also imagine having an ED around this time. Her siblings are young, so they're struggling even more with money than normal. She starts to skip meals, and eventually, she finds control in what she eats when she's forced away from track.

I imagine fiona to be relatively popular in school, mainly with guys, but she struggles to keep real outside of school friendships. This changes when she meets Kev and V. I think they probably met after she dropped out of school. V is like 23, I think, in the first season and Kevin 25 ish ? I'm not really that sure, but we know fiona didn't go to school with them. Kevin and V helped fiona a lot, and she definitely needed them. They started to help her with the kids, and for once, she had people on her side. Things get better for her when she meets them.

Baby fiona (5-12) was definitely the in ur face demanding respect, kinda kid. She was sassy and always trying to seem as strong as possible. She will haggle prices for anything and isn't afraid to scam and cheat to get what she needs for her family. But I also imagine her being good at acting sweet. She's a great sweet talker. This is a prominent trait Ian has, and I think he got it from his big sister.

Teens, she's all about drama. Boy drama petty teen girl drama, watching reality TV when she can and stealing gossip magazines. I think she latches onto the typical teen girl image hard. She definitely has a short phase of always getting dress coded. I don't think this lasts that look tho.

Same as in the show, she's always got a new job, sometimes working 2 or 3. She's stressed ofc but learns a lot. She has little hacks and tricks for almost any job. She's resistant in the way she will do anything. Nothing is too dirty or hard for her.

Her relationship with Frank is complex. Fionas Frank's favourite, but she's also the oldest and likely the one he takes his anger out on most. When ur someone's favourite, it hurts them even more when they feel you messed up. I don't think Frank was consistent with his abuse, but it was definitely there. Frank was a 'good' dad sometimes. Fiona gets to know Frank when his alcoholism and drug use wasn't at its peak (He gradually gets worse with age) So fiona got more good dad moments but also felt the disappointment harder as she watched him get worse.

Fiona tells lip (pretty sure it's him) that he's always been Monica's favourite in s1, and I think she has always thought that. Later on in the show, u obviously see Ian and debbie are monicas favourites, tho. I don't see Monica and fiona ever being particularly close. Fiona was hit hard when Monica leaves for the first time, Frank's a mess, and now she has the unfortunate job of explaining that she's gone to her siblings. Unlike her younger siblings, who are probably too young to fully understand what's going on, fiona feels the abandonment full force.

Fiona is 4 / 5 yrs older than lip, right? (Their ages confuse me so bad) so she I'm guessing she was always in a different school than him. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if he's in elementary school, she's in high school. Fiona has to miss school to run all over the place and collect her siblings from different places. She might have to be the one to unroll her siblings in school, too, a couple times.

Finally just some random things

She has a purple flip phone at one point that she's super protective of

She loves family movie nights and would try to do as many as possible.

She cried when Debbie was born cause she was so excited to have a sister.

Similarly she cried when Ian was born cause he was a boy and she wanted a sister.

She really wanted a pet when she was young

She has 100s of diary's from yrs and yrs of writing in them (we see Carl read one)

Would always struggle with her hair cause it's curly and v helps her learn how to style it even tho she hardly does

She's the kind of person who finds comfort in sitting on the floor, in the bathroom, bath tub

Had a pink hating phase

Had a collection of different fake IDs by the time she was 16

Definitely got in at least 1 fight in school cause of boy drama

Hated cooking

ANYWAY I love fiona

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for keeping tabs on an ex friend?

So basically, years ago there was this huge split in my friend group. It was over some dumb bullshit, not really relevant. One of these friends (ill call them Kate) was particularly bitter.

A little while later, once we were adults, a friend (lets call them Ron) broke up with their toxic bf (lets call him Vince)

Flashforward a few months, and now Vince and Kate are dating and living together. They start to stalk us online and in real life, even so far as to take a picture of Ron at an event we all happened to be at. I should mention that Vince is well known for holding intense grudges and doing absolutely wild things like writing extremely inflammatory posts about them, contacting ppl theyre associated to claim they're bad people, trying to report fake fire-able offenses to people's work, etc etc

So, understandably, everyone is really scared in my friend group that Kate and Vince are planning something. Like some kind of plot to try and ruin our lives. It sounds dramatic, but we've witnessed the lengths that Vince will go to doctor screenshots and events before. It's landed in other people's detriment - loss of work, friends, partners, etc.

Here's where I could be TA.

Kate has a private acc that they let a lot of people into. It's not super super private, has like 70 followers, and it's really only locked so they can vet people and avoid bot followers. So I may have made a bit of a ghost account to follow it. My logic behind this is that I know they have a history of posting the shit they plan to do on their locked acc. My reasoning is just that I check in every so often to make sure they aren't still following us around in real life or planning to try and get us fired.

They're moving away next year and because they won't be in close proximity anymore, I intend to delete the acc then. But I understand that this might be stalkerish behavior so I just want to get the unbiased opinion here.

TL:DR; a couple of ex friends tend to stalk ppl so I followed their private accs to make sure they aren't stalking me

What are these acronyms?

[thelovetheystole]

I've decided to just not say anything more about what took place yesterday regarding Robert, I have my opinion obviously, but I'll keep it to myself after this post.

To be clear - the show was making plans for bringing in John and Ross around the same time (Oliver started filming in June, Mike knew he was going back in April already), two characters with very strong ties to Robert and Robron. (The show knew they'd be name dropping Robert and Seb like crazy. They knew what everyone would think.) And then, in july, they held a press event talking about cementing the Sugdens back in the village. Not cementing one retconned Sugden in the village.

A secret, long lost son of Jack Sugden appears in Emmerdale. How many times has 'Jack' or 'dad' been mentioned compared to 'Robert' or 'my/your brother/ex'??

Just asking, because apparently it was inevitable that Robert be mentioned an *unlimited amount of times* and also pictured on Victoria's keychain after all these years. But talking about Fauxbert's 'Emmerdale Icon' father - highly avoidable 99% of the time 🤣 (Wasn't he going to immerse himself in the rich history of the family or something? He doesn't even know why his brother is in prison or who Wendy is to Harry!! Does he know his grandmother's name?)

Same actually goes for Aaron's last two bf's, 🛶Ben and ❌️📺Marco. Poor Fauxbert probably thinks he's Aaron's first relationship since the divorce. You'd never know Aaron was a grieving boyfriend of a murder victim three years ago... or was going to move an Italian bloke to Yorkshire two years ago.

Then there's the glaringly obvious, if Ryan ever agreed to come back, no one's going to actually ruin that surprise are they?

And that's all I have to say about that!

[sorenphelps]

I need to know more about Hungary! 8, 14, 22, 26, and 29 please ❤️

Hi there! Here we go, it took way longer to answer than expected...

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

It's a tricky question on my end, because I am partly Vietnamese on my father's side, so I'm usually not assumed to be Hungarian at all (even tho that as I'm getting older I'm looking more and more Caucasian). I'm assumed to be Chinese, because Asian=Chinese in most people's minds here. (It's actually a pet peeve of mine, but that's another question.) I think Hungarians in general get confused with Slavic/Balkan people? Maybe Germans? Idk, when abroad they often think my mother is either Russian or French, while my bf is thought to be Austrian (which is fair enough, because his ancestors are from Austria/Germany).

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

Already answered here.

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

Proud: We are ridiculously good at some sports, we are I think the 14th in most Olympic Games medals per capita list at the moment. We also have a lot of Nobel prize winners (we are the 13th I think?), and generally a lot of cool things were invented by Hungarians (e.g. Rubik cube, matches, ballpoint pens, Vitamin C, the basis of computers, the basis of Microsoft Word and Excel, etc.). I also think our language is badass, it's in the top10 hardest languages to learn. I also really like how diverse our gastronomy can be, and the so called ruin pubs are good stuff.

Ashamed: Politics... And the general attitude of people, I mean when I can see a sign printed out in Hungarian in hotel cafeterias abroad, saying "Please do not steal!", I feel like denying where I'm from.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Hungary is mostly non-existent is Hollywood, but since a lot of American movies/TV shows are actually produced in Hungary, recently we are mentioned by name more (see the Black Widow movie for example). Sometimes our language is used as like an evil devil "language", or we are just vaguely referred as "East European" or "Post Communist" or part of the Balkan. We are depicted as uncultured poor people and/or criminals. Not the most flattering portrayal, however there is some truth in all.🤷🏻‍♀️

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

Oh boy, it's easier to list the ones we don't hate. XD We have a mutual friendship with Poland, but that's about it? Hungarians hate everyone (including themselves). We were very, lets say, unlucky with our history, so we are a country who is surrounded by itself population-wise. Therefore we hate every neighboring country (I think maybe Romania the most?). We are historically super bad at picking sides (I mean we always were on the eventually losing side of every big conflict), so it's no wonder that nowdays we try to be good with Russia, China, Turkey, Trump's USA... As I said, politics are bad here.

[coreakin-sakarat]

Zongli x female reader

Headcanons if he was your bf💓

In your relationship with Zhongli, he's the epitome of stability and wisdom. As your boyfriend, he often surprises you with profound conversations about history, culture, and the world around you. Your dates involve exploring ancient ruins, and he passionately shares the stories behind each artifact you come across.

His reserved demeanor softens in your presence, and you discover the warmth beneath his stoic exterior. Zhongli expresses his love through thoughtful gestures, like bringing you a rare flower he read about in an ancient text or crafting a custom piece of geo-inspired jewelry for you.

Despite being an adeptus, Zhongli learns to enjoy simple pleasures with you, whether it's savoring a cup of tea together or stargazing on a quiet night. His protective nature surfaces, especially when facing challenges, as he ensures your safety with a calm and reassuring presence.

In the quieter moments, Zhongli surprises you with his sense of humor, sharing gentle laughter that echoes through your shared moments. As your boyfriend, Zhongli brings a sense of timelessness and depth to your relationship, making every day an exploration of both the world and your connection with each other.

[discyours]

Do you think people who recommend going into bdsm/kink as a therapeutical tool (for things like csa and more) are right about that? i have seen masses of people who went through abuse and gravitated towards those practices and say it’s therapeutical to ”take control over what happened”, on pair with being both turned on and scared of flashbacks, they are trying to sexualize them and in that way get over them. I saw this recommended to people who asked for advise on how to deal with their pain. Everything from rape plays, daddy kinks, being the ultimate sub. I can’t help but feel my skin crawl to hear those takes and advices specially directed at victims of such things irl but maybe im stuck up in my ass/prude and there is some real value to that?

There wouldn't be a mass phenomenon of female subs with PTSD (in my experience honestly 100% of female subs into heavier kink have a history of trauma) if it didn't at least feel therapeutic. That doesn't make it okay as a neutral suggestion to other people who are looking to heal though. I have cptsd and go through periods of sex aversion, when my therapist told me that I had to have sex in order to heal that greatly upset me for at least a few weeks. If she'd instead told me that I needed to let my bf pretend to rape me to process my trauma I think I would've cried for a year straight. Traumatised brains are fragile and no matter how normal it's become to you, you can't just randomly expose people to the extreme sexual practices you think they should engage in because you personally find them helpful.

I think for the most part it's a case of mixing up coping with healing. You can definitely cope with flashbacks and the fear of recurring trauma by convincing yourself that deep down you actually find the idea arousing. But then you're still left having to think of yourself as "kinky nymph slut who's down for anything" as opposed to "human being who did not deserve what happened to her". If that second one is too painful for you to confront, you're not healed.

There's also the fact that the kink community holds a lot of opportunity for abuse. When I was a traumatised teenager talking to doms 3x my age because I feared that my abuse had ruined me and that I would no doubt end up hurting people if they didn't have a significant power advantage over me, it wasn't that important that I was genuinely doing what I felt comfortable with. The important thing is that men who enjoy being on the other side of these power dynamics are at hugely disproportionate risk of retraumatising you, and that goes double if they have a thing for roleplaying rape or child grooming.

The only thing I will say for these types of practices is that if you've been through a lot of sexual trauma (and particularly if sexual trauma occurred before you had the chance to develop your own sexuality), you often end up with weird comfort zones, and having your sexual comfort zone respected is vital when you're healing from trauma. Some vanilla sex acts are massive triggers for me, and some aspects of kink can help me not to dissociate and end up with flashbacks during sex. Ideally, kink grants people permission to have whatever type of sex they want so long as it's healthy and consensual, as opposed to having to make themselves uncomfortable to fit into a certain expectation. But in practice a lot of people in the community are eager to shame "vanillas" for being to closed minded and having bad sex, so I can't say that always works.

[for-the-sake-of-color]

for the oc meme: i’m curious about how my girl Andrie would get along with your ocs! I know you read her intro post, but in short she’s a force sensitive farm girl turned rebel who Went Through Some Shit growing up. she has a hell of a temper, but she’s also extremely loyal to the people she loves and super determined to see things through. also if you dare to lift a hand against her bf she’ll end you

thank you so much asjghgqpughqerg rgb I love Andrie she has such a facinating life from start to finish

Well Lets see!!!! so we are going to have to assume that Crisis Company managed to survive order 66 (they did not make it long enough to even see it in timelines where it happened, and their main timeline is an o66 fix-it. its complicated. if the time travel bit never happends, they likely would have deserted when Kix was taken by the separatists after the brain chips thing, with no reason to stay with the republic) in a way that leaves Andrie the same woman that she would be if history takes its natural course

Andrie is a good, strong willed person who tries to do right by those she loves. Eventually, she becomes a wise and powerful Jedi.

bit long, under the cut

I think that Mary Ann is the Oc of mine that would get along with her the best, or at least, I think they have a good shot of understanding eachother in a deeper sense, on finding common ground from their pasts. If they got off on the right foot, Mary Ann would probably like to keep her as a friend, because she's a true socialite at heart, and damn good at it too.

Mary Ann originally left her homeworld because her Mother and her Mothers and their Mothers believed it was her job, her duty, to settle down and birth as many children as she could until she was no longer fertile. That's not what she wanted out of life, though, and she didn't want to put her body through that even once. Eventually, sometime after Mary Ann took Jet and Margo on as her mates during the clone wars (humans with no chance of direct procreation with her) her mother and a cousin travel to coruscant and try to.... irrevocably ruin Jet's life to force her to come back home. Mary Ann is also fairly friendly, even if she's got a rather sharp tongue and critical eye, it takes a lot to actually get under her skin. She's also a killer cook who used to run amazing resteraunts on the coruscant upper levels before the end of the war, she says, and is always out to impress. If Andrie can dish out a compliment for her dishes direct to her face, she may find herself suddenly with more free baked goods than she can take home with her. If any harm ever came to her little family, though? well. there is a reason the Jedi held a little fear in their hearts for the rage of the gurlanins

Captain Jet would like her, almost certainly and from the start, even if she would definately disagree with his choice of company. He's got a soft spot for the tempermental ones. He's trying to be a good man, so he would understand any reservations she would have about Nihlus being... a sith, even as a leashed one. (or Heron and his... proclivities)

If they did manage to survive the order with Nihlus alive, She would probably meet the Squad in the Rebellion, because Jet would be unable to let a FASCIST EMPIRE run by a SITH LORD continue without trying to do anything at all. This war, at least, he chose to fight. He chose this cause, and he believes in it in the way he hadnt had with the republic since he was a shiny. Believes in this Skywalker kid in a way he never quite did with the mans (he considers) reckless father. And Jet would respect anyone who makes the same choice and commitment to the rebellion, regardless of why they do it, regardless of their personal opinion of him. There are bigger enemies to face than the people fighting by your side. Though if she could not find it in herself to tolerate Nihlus, he would proably try to minimize his time around her. He gets it, but that's still his 'little' brother by choice.

Nihlus.... The biggest challenge to getting along with most of my ocs is just tolerating this guy. Nihlus Brek is a tried and true old academy style sith lord. Like he was genuinely trained in an pre-kotor era sith academy (whom he then slaughtered for all of their slights against him during his training). Just because he's more of a benign sith, an archivist, and a leashed one at that, doesnt mean killing voilence murder mutilation bloodshed isnt like.... his favorite pass time.

Nihlus isn't a threat to Andrie so long as Jet says he isnt, and Nihlus will quite literally die if he disobeys Jet's orders (blood oath, a sort of sith alchemy they use to guarantee his absolute loyalty. yes, it is by choice). He doesn't hate jedi or their sympathizers on principal, they generally kept the galaxy from burning. No galaxy, nothing to archive. He respects her for being willing to fight alongside them, that it makes her strong regardless of her skill level in the force. The more she gets in touch with the light, though, the less willing he would be to cooperatively be in her presence. Lightsiders give him a tinnitus like sensation. Skyrim ninroot bass boosted ass sound effect. So great, go be a goody two shoes or whatever the fuck, just do it.... over there. He would help provide her and her academy research material about jedi from his archive, if she was so inclined to it. Sith too, though he has no interest in taking on a sith apprentice himself. The galaxy does not need more people like the emperor, or even himself, he will say by his own admission, though he he is almost entirely unrepentent for all the suffering he himself has caused so long as it has furthered his goals or protected those he cares about.

The Rest of Crisis Company are a mixed bag all depending on how... willing Andrie is to letting Nihlus' killing bloodshed maiming mutalation murder torture of imperials thing slide. Like however she reacts to watching a stormtrooper get turned inside out by a laughing sith probably would set the tone of her relationship with the rest of the company

Margo leans towards tolerance of even some of the more abhorrent of Nihlus treatment towards their enemies and their prisoners, so the more Andrie is willing to turn cheek to unnessisiarily violent cruelty, the greater liklyhood she has for getting on with Margo. She doesn't believe in Skywalker like Jet does, but she'd follow any of them into hell with only mild complaining, Cynic doesnt much care for outsiders regaurdless of their opinions. Respects her fighting skills, then later would respect her willingess to become a jedi "despite what happened to the rest of those sorry saps" he would probably say directly to her face. Would probably not form anything close to 'like' though, as he jut doent care to make friends. Lake and Torch often come as an inseparable sniper unit, even after all these years. Decidedly more willing to befriend people who chose not to tolerate Nihlus, because everthing the sith does often serves to make them a little bit squeamish, although Torch has a bit more of a stomach for it (though not by much). Lake would like more 'normal and sane' connections, and Torch would be interested in hearing about Andrie's homeworld, cause even after over 20 years he still cant quite believe a place could exist that is the antithesis of Kamino's vast oceans. Heron is.... Heron is a a brutal killer who has an occasional taste for what he butchers. He held too many lives in his hands during the clone wars and developed both a god complex about his medic shit and a taste for blood, and he's had his fair share of fun with Nihlus and some of their imperial prisoners. Even if Andrie had never seen his work directly, she's likely heard rumors. If she can get past that, though, he's actually nice enough, and surprisingly amiable to boot. Sprig is always around. and he's always listening. If crisis company has a spymaster, he's it. He's probably met the rebellions concept of Andrie long before he's met the woman himself. Also respects her regaurdless of wether or not she tolerates Nihlus, but his regaurd for likeablity would fluctiate based on how vocally she dislikes his 'little' brother, if at all. if she actively dislikes Nihlus, he listens. If she doesnt, he speaks in equal measures. He does love to just chit-chat, too.

[tiffanylamps]

I LITERALLY JUST HEARD THIS SONG BUT IT FEELS SO MUCH LIKE JWDS & I NEEDED TO TELL YOU IMMEDIATELY

got the title? can you see the picture? if you can’t, it’s ‘i want it all’ by duncan laurence. by god, this song has effectively ruined me & i’m only on my second listen. please believe me when i say these lyrics are for them.

“i suddenly realize / there’s only so much time / i wanna give you mine” THIS FIRST PART ALONE HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. THIS IS THEM CLOSER TO THE END OF THE SHOW I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL

secondly? the chorus is so beautiful. “i’ve waited all my life for you” & “i want the good and the bad, the highs and the lows” & old habits die tragic” & “need you to love me like no one has loved me before” & “there’s magic in madness” just every freaking word of these lyrics gives me the most insane need to rewatch the show & to see them fall in love again. i feel nuts right now, or i’m at least toeing the edge of that feeling

anyway…i hope you’re doing well! thought you might find my rambling a little entertaining, & you’re the person i always come to so i can scream about them, so yeah!!

love you, bo! 💛🌷

LIGHTE!!!! Happy Valentine's Day!!! 💛💐 Okay, so, this song! Oh my goodness, it is so THEM! Although it's not my favourite style (/genre) of music, it really got me in my feels. I was a lil sappy mess, sitting in a blanket poncho/hoodie thing (I was given a cheaper version of an oodie as a v-day gift), getting all emotional because of Them. The lyrics you've already pointed out really shone through for me. But I got sooooo emo over the "I've waited all my life for you" lyric!!!! I don't know if it's because I'm working on a Dong Sik project at the moment (👀) or something, but this song really made me think of him. It feels like these would be the thoughts he would think in an idealistic post-canon world, one where he is more at peace and is sooo desperate to have Joo Won in his life (in a very permanent way). This song does feel desperate and I mean that as a compliment. Loving someone else, despite your history and reservations, can leave one feeling very desperate and ultimately, vulnerable. Especially if you're feeling resolute to have that person in your life. idk.... it just feels so Them. I feel like they're both so desperate for the other, even if they don't know how to articulate that into words. (but oh boy, don't they say it in a language only they speak??????)

🤭🤭 Also, I'm going to encourage you to rewatch the show!!! I don't how many times you've seen it, but why not see it another time??? I've recently watched episodes 5, 9, 13 with the bf and I didn't know I still had so much to say about this show. I recorded our conversations and I've got over three and a half HOURS of chat 🥴 This show has so much to give and it honestly gets better with each viewing. I love your ramblings! I especially love music recommendations! So, this was a lovely treat to have. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts with me. I really appreciate that I'm the person you want to share them with! Hope you're well! Sending you love through pixels on a screen💛💛

🎵 the song in question 🎵