#bf and kitty are both sleeping beside me

[inkykeiji]

good morning this alhaitham piece is killing me

[wowcatboys]

Hear me out

Grunge bf kayn with a hyper feminine gf , like his gf loves sanrio and cute stuff 🫢🫢🫢

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN: ULTRA-CUTE PARTNER HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW ♡ No TWs ♡ I am so fucking rabid for the idea of this combo...demon bf/ hello kitty reader SUPREMACY

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KAYN

At first, the pairing confuses people, but those that see you and Kayn together recognize that somehow you just work. You soften Kayn's sharp edges in a way that he only lets those closest to him see, and Kayn helps highlight the fact that even though you look innocent and soft, there's more to you than that.

Both you and Kayn recognize how much work it can be to curate and present an aesthetic. That's part of what helps you two mesh so well, even though on the surface, you're entirely different. There's a mutual respect for the other, stemming from understanding.

Though he keeps them stashed in a bathroom drawer, Kayn's got a matching set of soft bunny-ear headbands for when you sleep over. Usually he just bobby-pins his hair back to wash his face, but when you're there, he'll pull out the cute headbands so you can match during your morning/night-time routine. For the sake of his image, please, please don't ever show anyone your bunny-eared, spa-masked selfies.

Kayn has you saved as 'prince/princess' in his phone. Fitting, since you're the patron saint of all things cute and soft, no?

The guys tease him whenever they catch Kayn with your things around the apartment, like when he's washing your pink Starbucks cups or pulling your cinnamoroll pajama pants out of the dryer. "Changing your look, Kayn?" They'll smirk, but he just rolls his eyes and sneers. "It's (y/n)'s, obviously," he bites. He's not really embarrassed, though—truth be told, he loves the way your life has leaked into his enough for others to notice. Besides, those nerds are probably just jealous that he bagged such a fucking perfect cute pastel angel.

Obviously, Kuromi is Kayn's favorite, if he has to pick one. You won him a little Kuromi figure from a claw machine, once, and he actually keeps it on top of his dresser, in full view for everyone to see. (It's probably the cutest thing he owns, and though he might not admit it, he fucking treasures that little figurine.) He sometimes says he's your Kuromi, though not usually in earshot of others. The similarities are uncanny—a proclivity for black, a tendency for mischief—they even have almost the same birthday!

Whenever you're in his room, Kayn sets his LED strip lights to pink for you.

If Kayn's going to be gone for awhile, touring and the like, he always gifts you a Calico Critters set the night before he leaves. "Try to take good care of them, yeah?" He smirks. "I don't wanna come back to the mouse family in the middle of a custody battle."

Kayn stashes a plushie in his underwear drawer, so you'll always have something to snuggle with when you stay with him (besides him, of course).

The visual contrast when Kayn lets you borrow a hoodie or jacket is nothing short of jarring. Here you are, this adorable thing in Mary Janes and a pastel skirt, sporting a bleach-dyed hoodie with a death metal logo. Kayn, of course, thinks the contrast is fucking adorable.

Kayn gently teases you about your bedroom—"I didn't even know this many pink things existed," he'll say"— but the truth is, he loves being in there with you. The softness makes him feel totally surrounded by you. It's gentle. Safe, even. Drinking from Sanrio glasses and slipping underneath a strawberry-printed comforter to spoon you may not be his usual style, but you make it feel so natural. (Sleeping in your bed, though? Kayn doesn't love that as much. He moves around in his sleep enough as is, but now he's got to worry about accidentally shoving your favorite Hello Kitty off the bed? Not fun.)

Kayn's favorite cutesy thing to buy you is sleepwear. Those pastel, soft-fabric cami and sleep shorts combos? Fucking delicious. There's at least three sets of your pajamas stashed in his PJ drawer, and Kayn bought all of them.

[okaerina]

#사랑 enhypen as your bf !

warnings!...none just pure fluff and affection, lowercase intended.

notes : fun fact this was the first work i wanted to post but got distracted :)

genre : fluff, established relationships, slight angst

𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚!

soft flirty bf huhu he's literally gonna flirt so hard and on top of that if you're shy he's absolutely gonna shapeshift your cheeks into a tomato/strawberry whatv red stuff you prefer :) i mean we all know hee is a pro at flirting so good luck to your sanity RIP

lots of singing fs this man's gonna sing for you like can't sleep? dw babe he's got a soty typa lullaby, bored/stressed? who needs a lofi playlist when you got lee hee :) hEAR me out he's definitely gonna write songs for you jsjsjs he's gonna sing em to you randomly cause It's romantic right?? he'll look deep into your eyes, throw that signature smirk of his and sing oh so lovingly cause he knows he's driving you nutz ;)

lotsss of movie gaming dates he'll beat you at every game heyyy he's an ace i don’t make the rules 🥱 but time to time he'll chill down and let you win few rounds intentionally but you don't need to know that

he loves to kiss you sm, your cheeks are his fav place to smooch uwu. but don't forget to smooch him back hehe.

his love is is a mix of quality time and words of affection !

𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡!

omg he's gonna be so caring and protective towards you he's basically your second momma 😭

but don’t get fooled by his strong facade deep inside he's your lil kitty ready to be taken care of so plz do check on him and give him the affection he deserves

he gets seriously jealous whenever your paying too much attention on maeumi and she's reciprocating it with heavy affection. "cats are best" he would literally blurt out of nowhere and you can't help but laugh at his silly tantrum.

there will be times where won wouldn’t be feeling his best. all the stress, work and commotion tires him out sm yet he still feels like he's not the best. on those days he only seeks for your comfort. knowing very well all he needs is you beside him to make him feel better plz always love this boy he's gonna be a mess without you :(

his love is a mix of quality time and soft physical affection !

𝗝𝗔𝗬 !

rich sugar daddy bf but he actually acts like a dad lmao

if your eyes lingers on a item from more than 0.00001 seconds he'll buy it for you no matter what

he makes you lots of healthy homemade meals and does all the chores for you plz he's such a material man I want him 🛐

jay loves you alot and is always there to guide in every situation he'll be both mature and goofy cracking silly dad jokes to lighten up your mood girl you better appreciate this man and love him back 😾‼️

his love is a mix acts of service and words of affection !

𝗝𝗔𝗞𝗘!

so how does it feel to have a rizzmastser as your bf 😃? /j

he's so cute goofy and babygirl you wanna gatekeep him

he'll get excited over all sorts of lil things. will take you out on various fun dates like arcades, amusement parks, pet cafes but his most fav date place and activity is going out on a walk with you and layla in a nice, less crowded, green park uwu!

you’re basically layla's mom now. he'll let you play with her and take care of her in his absence (layla's so cute noo 😭)

another smooch lover but his fav place is the lips ;) his lips are basically glued to yours.

his love is a mix of quality time and physical affection !

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡 !

awkward ahh goofy bf 😃

he's gonna be so unserious in general but dw he gets pretty mature and serious when he needs to be :)

he'll be a bit awkward at initiating affection first so if you take matters in hand and initiate affection first he'll be over the moon ahaha.

once he's opened up to you he'll be quite a affectionate guy but he isn’t a pda lover so behind closed doors he's all lovey dovey ^^

he'll let you play with gaeul and then he's gonna be like "gaeul is so lucky to have visual parents aka me n you 😌💅" and you’re like 😀👍 lmao

ice rink dates uwu. he's gonna be your personal figure skating coach <3

his love language is definitely quality times !

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢 !

the slayest bf ever im jealous 🥺

king of affection boy's literally gonna bicker about who's the most affectionate one or who's more slay lol.

lots of tteobokkie dates and self care nights

yall will do sleep overs and do each others skincare. he's practically gonna turn into your special dermatologist 💅

but he can be very serious and understanding. whenever your having a hard time he'll be there in a flash of light he understands you better than anyone in this world and is always there to cheer you up <3

his love language is a mix of physical affection and quality time !

𝗡𝗜-𝗞𝗜 !

A 6'3" TEASE

but first he needs time to open up to you to get friendly enough to tease relentlessly

so when he gets all warmed up say bye bye to your life 😈 /j

he teases you and is very playful but dw he respects you alot too and is very understanding and serious when needed to be <3

lots of piggyback rides from him, he loves to cuddle you and play footsies lol.

he loves to lay on your lap cuz in that position he can admire your pretty face and relax too 😍

he'll call you in his late night solo practices to showoff but it'll turn into a goofy dance session and filled with laughs and affection he's so 😢

he'll take you out on arcade or bowling dates and would tease the he'll out of you if you suck :D

insists on playing video games with you but it ends up with him doing some stupid bets you always keep losing 🙄 but dw he'll let you win time to time intentionally ;)

he'll be such a sillygoofy fun boyfie plz I want him he's so cool and cute

he's love language will be a mix of quality time and physical affection !

© aenfilmz /2023 !

taglist : @solarwoniii @shiningstar-byulxx @wtfhyuck

[nytfythfhtyf]

visiting my bf and a cold is passing through the guys so im sick but its okay my throat hurts but i took ibuprofen. i could sleep on this couch for the rest of my life its so fucking comfy. also ordered this guy bc its the most comfortable stuffed animal ive ever held in my life

we watched us last night and it was so good augh besides the other guys talking i really liked it. we watched nope the other day and i think i liked it better i liked the character depth but both so fucking good thank you jordan peele. i fucking loved the travis (gordy) storyline in nope bc i had watched a video about it and i read about the incident so it hit even harder watching the movie. ALSO the only ufo experience ive ever had was. exactly like the alien. it was just a black circle going across the sky and my phone was inside so i couldnt take a picture i just stood there in shock watching it float away. i do not easily believe conspiracies and ufo stories but i have no other explanation for what i saw. anyway i wish i could just live here with my guy id literally be fine sleeping on the couch but their landlord probably wouldnt let me and id miss my dogies and kitty so much. so sad. i swallowed too much air with cough drop and now i feel a little but like yartzing

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

You’ve got to be kitten me...(preferences)

Requested by @ middevil465  Alfred the cat keeps hissing at reader while cuddling BF ,then the reader hisses back : batboys reaction

Preferences for Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian

Dick:  Everything was so nice. You laying in Dick’s arms, his brothers out and about, not annoying him. He had his eyes closed ans was halfway asleep for a nice nap when he heard it. Hiiiissss. He opened one eyes and looked at you. You were still in his arms, your eyes shut close and your breath even. Than his eyes looked to were another Hissss echoed through the empty room. There he was. Alfred the cat. Lying on the couch beside the two of you with his eyes plastered onto Dick.  “You okay over there buddy?” Dick whispered and raised an eyebrow. HiSSSSSSS  “You do you man.” You started stirring in his arms and he looked down at you to see your eyes fluttering open.  “Hey” Hisss ”beautiful” Hisss “What’s wrong with the kitty cat?” you asked tiredly while rubbing your eyes.  “I don’t know, it’s just hissing. I think we might sit on it’s spot or something.” Dick eyed the cat that was looking a bit too ready to jump at him for his comfort.  “Try stablishing dominance,” you said, your eyes so incredibly serious that Dick was starting to question your sanity. “What?” Instead of answering, you climbed off of him, kneeled down in front of where Alfred sat, narrowed your eyes and just.... hissed.  “Hisssss,” came it from you.  Hisssss, answered Alfred.  That went on for two minutes and Dick was so 🤏 close too losing his mind and just walking straight out, when Alfred the Cat suddenly stood up, tured around, juped off of the couch and dissapeard around a corner.  “What....just happened?” “You have to speak their language Dickiboo,” you smiled and sat back down as if it was completely normal.  “You’ve got to be kitten me...”

Jason:  Jason loved cats. He really did. He’d made sure to always stop on patrol to feed some of the strays he met on his ways, but something about Alfred the cat bothered him. The way the cat would stare at him from somewhere in the room where you wouldn’t immediatly notice him. He’d feel his stare on his back and searched the room until he found the almost glowing eyes watching him. A part of him was completely sure that Damian trained the cat to be like that.  But Jason didn’t mind much, until one day, you had been with Jason the whole day and had convinced him to crash at the manor for the night, when the two of you were laying in Jason’s old bed (wayyyy too small tbh, you basically laid on top of that mountain of a man), trying too fall asleep, and a loud Hisssssss filled the room. And thanks to those damn Bat-reflexes™, because a second later, you were laying on the floor with Jason standing besides the bed.  “What the fuck Jason,” you whined and rubbed your lower back, “It’s just a cat.” Jason followed your eyes and found Alfred sitting on top his dresser, his eyes focused on him.  “C’mere kitty kitty,” you tried to coax it to you, always loving some good kitty cuddles, but Alfred just Hisssseeddddd again.  “I can do that too. Hisssssssssssssss,” you mimicked the sound, succesfully causing the cat to turn his gaze away from Jason and to you.  “I think the heck not,” Jason just groaned, picked you up and threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatos and walked out of the room, ignoring the sounds of protest and the small punches against his back.  “What are you doing?” you asked confused when he locked the door behind him and walked away from it.  “I’ve had enough of that cat, we’re sleeping in one of the damn guestrooms.” “You’ve got to be kitten me...”

Tim:  “I don’t think he likes me,” you muttered into Tim’s neck, while keeping your eyes focused on the cat that was sitting on the floor in front of the recliner that you refused too leave with the cat sitting there.  “So? He won’t hurt you just because you stand up,” he replied with a small smile on his lips, while he was caressing your back.  “Are you sure?”  “100%”  Slowly you lowered your feet onto the floor, the tip already touching it, when Alfred arched his back and started hissing. The sound that filled your ears was so demonic that you somehow managed to jump back onto the recliner and squich Tim under you.  “HE’S EVIL!” you squeaked almost as inhuman and ignored Tim’s groans of pain.  “HE’S JUST A CAT!” he answered, now somewhat annoyed. Was it too much to ask to have one nice day cuddling with his girlfriend?  “But he’s Damian’s cat, you’re the one who always says that damian is evil incarnated,” you continued whining and tim decided he had enough. Mentally training for the apology he had to give you later, he pushed you down from the recliner, right onto where Alfred laid, who barely managed to jump out of the way.  You looked at the cat.  The cat looked at you.  Hisssssssssssss, made the cat. “Hissssssssssss,” you replied. And as if that was all he wanted, Alfred turned around and left.  “What was that,” you whispered with wide eyes, still not believing your eyes.  “That was me proving that the cat doesn’t want to kill you,” Tim said with a smug smirk.  With eyes that would even make Batman get goosebumbs you looked at him and hissed just like you had with the cat, before turning around and leaving the room.  “You’ve got to be kitten me...”

Damian:  “We have to get ready too meet up with Jon and Billy, the movie starts in a while,” you mumbled unconvincingly, Damian’s arms around you too comfortable to really wanna stand up. “Too warm,” Damian just grumbled and got closer too you, not even bothering to acknowledge your reasoning.  “Just five more minutes,” you agreed and started brushing through his surprisingly soft hair.  Suddenly something fluffy brushed your leg and a second later Alfred the cat was sitting ontop of Damian who just groaned in protest when you retracted your hand from his hair to give Alfred’s fur the same treatment.  “Hey kitty cat,” you mumbled and blew little kisses his way. A small purr came from the cat, but that stopped when Damian carefully turned around, letting go off you and causing Alfred to jump down from him in the process.  “Come beloved, we’ll have to leave in a few minutes,” he scoffed, suddendly not interested in cuddling anymore.  “uhm, okay.”  You wanted to stand up when suddendly Alfred was sat ontop of your chest, effectivley keeping you on your back and he hissed.  “Are you okay kitty?” you asked and tried to pull him off of you.  Hisssssss “I really have to go Alfie.” Hissssss “Hisssssssssssss!” you replied louder, basically starting a hissing war.  “Alfred, Y/N, could you please-” “Hisssssssssssss,” came it from both of you at the boy who was staring at you like you were insane.  “You’ve got to be kitten me...”

[secludedmoonnn]

The past 2 days haven’t been the best. I’ve been feeling really depressed and I’ve been finding it hard to redirect my thoughts when they become negative. All I have wanted to do is sleep and do nothing. But I have been forcing myself to get up and do my daily “chores”. Make my bed, tidy my room, etc etc. I even got myself to do the kitty litter, completely clean my room and do all my laundry. Towels and bedding included. It was a little rough as my body and brain were against it, but I pushed through. I even put away all the laundry immediately, instead of having it sit in baskets for 2 weeks! But besides all of that, I spent some time hanging out with Rachel yesterday and played some Animal Crossing. They also updated the game a little early, so now we can swim in the ocean!

My aunt and cousins were in town, so we went and visited them. My aunt has been doing really good! She recently finished her chemo sessions and got to ring the bell! 🥰 I also got to see little Karson and Theo! I also visited with Krystal quite a bit and found out that Theo’s dad has been cheating on her their entire relationship of 7 years. She hasn’t been doing well, but she’s doing better than I expected. Me and Kiana are trying to convince her to move to Wdmonton, as it would give her so many more opportunities for Theo and his schooling, as well as her and finding a job, as well as being able to go out and do something. She would also have her siblings here, as well as me, Kiana and my mom. I’m hoping she actually thinks about it. The only reason she moved back to her hometown was for her mom, and as of late, they’ve been going to the lake lot a lot, so she barely sees her parents. I got to meet Cassidy’s new bf, and he seems sooooo sweet and good for her. Her past bf’s haven’t been the best and I haven’t really liked them lol. It was really nice being able to see my family. I told Krystal about us, and she was in complete shock and felt really bad, but I told her that I’m doing okay. I mean, there have been some really rough fucking days, but I got through them. I also gave some advice to her, and told her some things that really helped me. She was super upset because she has been so dependent on Brandon for so long and she’s scared to be alone. And I pretty much told her that she’s gotta do shit for her, stop focusing on him, and try to redirect her energy into things that’ll make her happy and things that’ll help her grow as a person. I just feel kinda bad for Theo in this situation. They’ve been fighting and angry with each other for most of Theo’s life. And with Brandon having a new gf while they are still living together is a little messed up, and I just feel really bad for the little guy rn. Krystal is super depressed and doesn’t play with him as much as she should. I’m hoping these 2 weeks away will help her realize what she needs to do. Both for herself and for Theo.

But besides that, Tuna’s harness came in and she doesn’t hate it! (Pink is so her colour btw lol) So now I can make an appointment at the vet so I can get all her shots updated, as well as get her cough checked out! I also have to go to AMA and DynaLife tomorrow. So I’m trying to keep busy and keep doing things that I need to do for myself. I’m hoping that I can just get my learners card again, and not have to retake the test, but I guess we will see! I just want to try and focus on learning how to drive this summer. I have it as one of my main goals, besides getting my health in check. I still have to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and cavities filled, I’m just scared cause it’s gonna be PRICEY. I’ll just have to go and get things done with months in between appointments, that way I can afford it lol.

I’ve been trying to do lots and not let myself cave into these negative emotions, into my depression, and I’m quite proud of myself. In the past, I don’t think I would have been strong enough to do it. But I am now, and I am so damn proud. I’m so proud of every little thing I’ve been slowly trying to work on. Even if it may not seem big deal to someone else, it definitely is for me. And I’m just so incredibly proud of myself and happy that I’m doing it. Just happy that I’m doing things for me. Things that I’ve been putting off for far too long.

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you’ve been doing well and taking care of yourself. And I hope you’re enjoying your time down in High River! I just hope you’re well.

[britishchick09]

sherlock ep 3 the great game livewatch

since i did a live-re-watch of ep 1 and a re/new livewatch of ep 2, i figured i’d finish off the season! i’ve never seen this one, so it’s the first totally new livewatch of the year! :D

ooh spooky beginning!

sherlock is talking to a guy for a case why in an old school tho?

omg sherlock keeps correcting this guy’s grammar lol :D

the guy will get hung for it (sorry hanged) is this victorian england

dramatic intro strikes again!

YO GUN SHOTS WUT

sherlock just chillin

AND SHOOTING WTF LOCKIE

SMILEY FACE!!!!!

john: “what the hell are you doing??” SAME WTF MR HOLMES

he’s shooting because he’s BORED OMG SHERLOCK LOL

omg john almost said the f word :o

WHY IS THERE A SEVERED HEAD IN THE FRIDGE

ooh they referenced ep one’s title in john’s blog post!!!

does that mean john comes up with the ep titles coolio :D

sherlock doesn’t like it tho :/

he deletes things he doesn’t care about like the earth going around the sun woah sherlock computer! :o

sherlock just said ‘hard drive’ epic B)

sherlock: “UGH HELL, WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?? so we go around the sun or we go around the moon round and round the garden like a teddy bear IT WOULDN’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE!” ...teddy bear?

oh hey mrs hudson

awww she called their argument ‘a little domestic’ :)

let me guess sherlock hates the quiet peaceful world

RIGHT!!!

MRS HUDSON SAID ‘BLOODY’ OMG

and she’s putting the smiley face on the rent ‘young man’ :/

OMG WHAT THE FRICK EXPLOSION

hey is that sarah cool! :D

oh crap THE FLAT EXPLODED!!!!!

WTF DID SHERLOCK DO????

i thought this would happen in like s4 since that’s super dark not s1!!!!

lol sherlock’s just plucking his violin like nothing happened :D

yo is that moiarty mycroft?

ok this is his bro so according to google it’s... mycroft!

mycroft: “a case like this would require... ‘leg work’” ...leg work?

in my holmes inspired series the sherlock and mycroft characters hate each others guts and act like children around each other so it’s good to see that these bros just act cold and keep correcting each other

mycroft: “your business seems to be booming, ever since you and sherlock became.. ‘pals’’ johnlock shippers be like: ;)

mycroft wondered if it was hellish and my holmes character describes his bro as hellish COINCIDENCE I THINK TOTALLY!!! :o

the plans were on a ‘memory stick’ does mycroft mean ‘usb’?

sherlock putting rosin on his bow during the conversation tho ♥

mycroft: “you need to find those plans, sherlock. don’t make me order you” wowoza older bro much?

is sherlock badly playing his violin to test it or to kick mycroft out faster lol :D

this is probably benedict cumberbatch really playing because he didn’t take violin lessons until s2 i think and even then there was an overdub!

OMG I JUST REALIZED I’VE BEEN SPELLING HIS NAME AS BENNEDICT WHY

sherlock: “i’d be lost without my blogger” aww he really does like the posts! ♥ also major johnlock squee there

sherlock likes the ‘funny cases’ ;)

hey is that lestrade cool he’s back

the first thing sherlock says while reading the letter is ‘nice stationary’

john: “that’s the pink phone!” guy: “from the study in pink!” sherlock: “you read his blog?” lestrade: “of course we all do!” awwww :D

everyone’s snickering at sherlock not believing the ‘earth sun’ theory lol :D

ooh a warning! :o

john: “hold on, what’s gonna happen again?” sherlock: “BOOM!” bada bing, bada... B O O M!!!”

mrs hudson can’t get anyone interested in the flat aww :(

some weird lady’s calling what

SHE JUST SAID ‘STUPID BISH’ WOAHHHH

woah she was a hostage??

sherlock wants john to delete 8 mycroft texts lol :D

sherlock sarcastically called john ‘doctor’ lol :D

molly: “why did you say ‘gay’? we’re together!“ WAIT DID SHERLOCK JUST SAY THAT?? JOHNLOCK SQUEEE!!!!! also sherlock is aromantic sorry molly :/

molly: “he’s not gay!!” woah john much?

also that was about  her bf sorry johnlock shippers :/

sherlock says his makeup and underwear peeking out make the guy gay RUDE MUCH LOCKIE??

john: “that wasn’t kind” yeah LOCKIE

john: *figures out who the shoes belong to* how did i do?” sherlock: “well, john, really well! i mean, you missed almost everything important” lol :D

sherlock is great at finding out things props to him :D

the shoes were bought 20 years ago just like su lin!

sherlock: “a child with big feet-“ you mean senpai lol

1989 is 21 years ago here wowza :o

oh no the kid had a fit in a pool and died :(

someone stole his shoes! :o

aww john wants to help :)

mycroft is texting john now lol :D

john: “it’s of national importance.” sherlock: “how quaint.” john: “what is?” sherlock: “you are” :)

john is wearing a suit to see mycroft how quaint ♥

john: “he’s investigating now. investigating away” that’s sherlock for ya :D

mycroft knows it all just like sherlock what bros they are! :D

oh no the kid had poison! :o

it’s cool how a 21 year old mystery could tie into a bomb from a day ago :D

NO IT’S CRYING LADY AGAIN

she lives in cornwall camilla who

ooh pager! :D

sherlock is bored WHY

OH GREAT IT’S THE ‘FREAK’ LADY FROM EP 1 UGHHHH

oh no another mystery caller!

sherlock guessed he’s ‘stealing another voice’ ooh :o

aww they showed the guy he’s crying :(

they have 9 hours to solve the puzzle!

sherlock is faking being super sad to get info from this lady oh lockie!

random lady: “fishing! try fishing!” john’s reaction tho :D (this is like ‘daang that’s rad!’ but not as funny)

sherlock says ‘mazda’ weird but it’s cool :D

sherlock: “you’re very helpful” ...he’s not

sherlock: “mr. hewitt’s a liar” SEE I WAS RIGHT!!!

the drops in the lab look like the intro :D

phone guy: “we were made for each other, sherlock” woah woah YOU’RE NOT JOHN

ooh the blood was frozen :o

the way lestrade says ‘columbia?‘ is funny :D

the case is solved yet we’re only 37 minutes into the ep hmm....

sherlock: “i am on fire!” YAS LOCKIE!!! :D

great another call...

why is this guy constantly crying WHO HURT YOU SIR?

a restaurant scene... ep 1 was queerbaiting, ep 2 was stereotyping and this one is... SHERLOCK EATING??? :o

epic 2010 smartphone ;)

john: “lucky for you mrs hudson and i watch too much telly” yas john!!! :D

CRYING LADY SAID ‘BISH’ AGAIN

12 hours now WHO ARE THESE PEEPS AND WHY ARE THERE TIME LIMITS

throughout the scene there’s a snoring sound... is someone sleeping in the afternoon??

a dead 54 actress died 2 days ago... connection?

she cut her hand on a rusty nail dean from supernatural who

sherlock: “goodnight vienna!” *ringo voice* ♫ na na na na na na goodnight viennaaa!!!!!!! ♫ :D

lockie’s mind is racing again!!

john’s dr skills and sherlock’s mind are perfect for this :D

sherlock: “do you want to help?” john: “of course!” ♥

lestrade: “tell me, what are we dealing with?” sherlock: “...something new’ ;)

ughhhh her again!! THREE HOURS HAS IT EVEN BEEN 12 YET???

awww kitty!!!! ♥

the kitty is so loud and cute awww :)

the tv lady taught mrs hudson how to do ‘colors’ aww :)

sherlock went to fan sites for the show coolio :D

...omg what if there are fan sites for him and people ship johnlock in the show besides mrs hudson :o

awwww kittyyyy!!!!! :D

john thinks the lady got tetanus because of the cat NOT THE KITTY!!!

so are the shoe kid, tv lady and creepy phone people connected?

the phone people are bombers so at least that’s a connection

great the phone lady wants help UGHH

she’s telling sherlock things about the guy GIVE THE ADDRESS LADY!!!

wait was that a gunshot

it was another gas leak explosion! :o

the bomber killed the lady oooohh :o

sherlock: “heroes don’t exist and wouldn’t be one of them” oh but you are lockie ;)

sherlock: “you SEE you just don’t observe!” john: “okay, okay, girls calm down!!” GIRLS OMG LOL :D

sherlock: “you’ll never find him (some guy named gollem). but i know a man who can” lestrade: “who?” sherlock: “...me.” ;)

lady: “any change for a cup of tea?” sherlock: *gives her fifty* wowza what a generous lockie!

onto part 2!

the lady said a message was left ‘on the landline’ how 21st century of you...?

other lady: “am i supposed to be impressed?/” this is sherlock holmes we’re talking about here lady

lady 3: “we were having a night in...” *wallace and gromit intensities*

joe: “are you the police?” john: “sort of” he’s a consulting detective assistant thank you very much :)

sherlock sure likes giving lots of change to people in need :)

and he said earlier he doesn’t care about people unless it involves the case!

aww moonlight walk ♥

they’re in the tunnels like the netflix pic! :D

i wonder if this inspired that pic...

YO THEY BE RUNNING

the lady is watching a show on jupiter a gas planet hmmm...

she just wants neptune :D (i know her fave sailor senshi...)

OH NO SHE DED!

the tape is going backwards it’s so weird

OMG IT BE GOLLEM!!!

john: “let go or i will kill you” oooohhh gollem’s in trouble...

yo wtf is going on

SHERLOCK SHOT

who is this fancy french lady

sherlock s n a p !

the painting is a fake and that’s why she was killed?

some kid is counting down WHO ART THOU SMOL ONE???

sherlock: “shut up it only works if i figure it out!” yeah that’s true

aaand it worked!

the planet film helped sherlock discover the nova in the painting coolio :D

the mystery kid needs help! but where is he...

i still have no idea what’s going on tho it all went by so fast!

is this new french lady the one behind everything?

THE WHISPERS ARE MOIARTY OH FRICK

lockie be like ‘oh god...’ i’d be the same way if my mortal enemy was behind the case

why is john talking about strawberry jam with lestrade

oh it’s blood?

cool lifejackets :D

a wild sherlock appears!

is memory stick british slang for usb or just a holmes bro quirk because sherlock said it too

sherlock just broke into someone’s flat lol

and their last name is harrison... george much? ;)

so harrison stole the memory stick and gollem put in the bomb, moiarty hiring them both and having creepy people call sherlock and kill the tv lady, the guard at the gallery with the nova painting and maybe the shoe kid? is that how all this is connected?

john: “i’m not the world’s only consulting detective” aww he considers himself one too instead of just an assistant! :D

HOLD UP there’s a pool... is this the infamous tackle scene from the sarah z tjlc vid?

john is wearing a big coat hmm...

this is the pool where the kid died CONNECTION!!!!

oh no is this the calling guy

why does he sound like a silly american

YO he’s an american pulling off a brit accent

MOIARTYYYYY

moiarty: “jim moiarty! hiiii!!!” lol :D

plz shoot him sherlock this guy sounds so stupid

DID SHERLOCK JUST CALL HIM ‘DEAR JIM’??

the near fake kiss in that one ep makes sense now

moiarty in a sing-songy voice: “daddy’s had enough nowww!!!!’ DADDY WHAT

moiarty said gay :o

he just called sherlock ‘johnny boy’ why

AND HE SAID ‘borr-ing!!!’ OMG MOIARTY WHYYYY

i already hate moiarty so much but his lines are so funny what a villian!

sherlock: “what if i were to shoot you right now?” please do lockie

sherlock: “catch... you... later.” moiarty: “no you won’t!!! :D”

sherlock took off the jacket was that the scene?

john: “you ripping off my clothes in a darkened swimming pool...” THAT’S THE SCENE OMG JOHNLOCKERS ARE SQUEEING!!!!

omg moiarty’s back how stupid

SHOOT HIM LOCKIE PLZ

the music is intensifying...

LOCKIEEEEEEE......

and it ended!! i’m guessing sherlock doesn’t shoot moiarty which is a bummer but hey at least we’ll get more lols next season with them! :D

this was a great season finale! the beginning was wild and it got crazier from there. this is my least fave ep so far, but i still really liked it for how insane it was (and that kitty/moiarty lols!). it took 4 years to reach the end of s1, but it was well worth the wait! :D

[walkinsauce]

Becoming Poly- Chapter 14: My Turn

Sorry I didn’t blog last week. Do you know how hard it is to write about polyamory under the same roof as your parents? I was scared one of them was going to pop in and ask,

“Christina, why do you need that bottle of wine in your room?”

“Paper weight.”

So, ya, I’m sure hundreds of self help books would call that an “excuse” for not writing, but trust me: it felt TOO CREEPY. You try to write about sex while your parents are in the next room watching My Three Sons. See how you feel.  I would, however, like to thank all my Tumblr readers for hitting the heart button on all my blogs. Quick shout outs to:

ilove-seductive-mature attractive-milf-girls hot-elder-chamber fat-milf-foxy-imgs bimbo-slutty-girlz fuck-sexy-fat-pussies fucking-amazing-fat-cunts jugs-nice-pictures

It’s good to know I’ve found my audience. Though I do wish you guys would put some capital letters in your names. You’re better than that.

I’ve calmed down from my boyfriend’s first “other sex” in our relationship. I’m pretty lucky that I have so many people reaching out to me, who are better versed in open relationships than I am. A particular comic friend in Florida always sums it up so well:

“Your primary is your home. These other people are the Disneylands and carnivals of the world. Fun day excursions, but you don’t want it every day.”

I think that’s my problem: Part of me would prefer to be the Disneyland. And good news for you, I’m way cheaper.

I still have a crush on the one guy I texted at O’Brien’s the day of my breakdown. I know he’s wary of the poly thing, and knowing my boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I’ve known him for years. I’ve had a crush on him for a year. I can’t help it if I’m a coward, and don’t know how to approach him. (Especially considering the circumstances.) Me sending him Snapchats that he’ll never open is enough of a rush for me.

It’s Friday night. I’m sitting at Ollo, as I often do during happy hour, wondering what I’m going to do when all the regulars go home at 8pm. It’s not a party city. We could use a Malibu’s Most Wanted reboot out here. But with the tiny bit of confidence I get from deep fried zucchini sticks and house wine, I decide to text my crush:

“Do you ever open Snapchat anymore, or am I sending things to an archive…?”

(With a smirky face emoji, obvi.)

He writes back minutes later.

“Hahahaha! I just watched the snaps! They made me laugh!”

It was at least a month’s worth of events, even capturing his own roommates. It must have been quite the montage.

“Thanks for sending them! I’m sorry I’m the worst. They were really funny. How long have you been sending them?”

Oh months. They’re my favorite seed I’ve ever planted.

“You might have just gotten something from me.”

I open Snapchat and see his name light up in full arrowed purple. I’m ridiculously excited for a girl my age. I’m starting to tune out the old man beside me bragging about how he gave Rosie O’Donnell her big break. That’s how you can tell I keep it real in this town- I’d much rather chase romance than my own career. (GOOD MOVE, EH?)

He writes again:

“I just finished a show in Hermosa Beach and I got to watch a lady heckle another comedian by saying, “we’re never going to be friends.”

Wow. The edginess of Hermosa Beach hecklers. What’s next? No tip? Shocking. I’m walking home, past people sleeping in their cars. At least my career is going better than theirs. But it’s a good reminder there’s no parking restrictions on PCH. Man, if any road needs some street cleaning…

It takes us another 18 texts to finally figure out we should meet up, but when he writes,

“I’d be down to meet up somewhere!”

I’m immediately wet. (It happens fast at my age.) He suggests the exact two bars in Santa Monica I was going to suggest. Power of the Leo and Sagittarius. (I probs just lost nine readers by referencing astrology.)

I get to Rick’s on Main Street slightly before him. I don’t have my real glasses on me, cuz I’ve been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day. Didn’t expect to be out past sunset, cuz that’s Malibu “night life.” So I’m going to be mildly blind all night. People always tell me,

“You should get laser eye surgery.”

Why the fuck would I do that? My glasses cover at least a dozen lines on my face. I’m thinking about getting a new pair, with thicker rims. I’m growing out bangs next. The date will be fine as long as I don’t send him into the kitchen when he asks where the bathroom is.

Now here’s the grey area…

Do I tell my bf right now that I’m going to meet this crush? I don’t know anything is going to happen. There’s a good chance we will just be two (ASTROLOGICAL PERFECT MATCHES) drinking buddies in a bar. Two comics, talking shop. Do we really need to set off the alarm before there’s a fire? As per my communication skills, I think def not. Like this blog, I will leave it till the last minute. (Typed at 3:13am, 4:45am after proofreading.)

I’m pretty sure I look like shit, but the good thing about somebody knowing me through comedy, is they always see me looking like shit. I’ve never been super comfortable looking “good” on stage. Maybe this comes from starting stand up 19 years ago, and always fearing women wouldn’t like me if I looked pretty. Most of the women in a comedy club are on dates, and I would literally get glares as they gripped their men. So early in my career, I started to wear hoodies on stage, and cover as much skin as possible. It was my passive aggressive way of saying,

“Don’t look at me. Listen to me.”

(Also, “I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. I’m here to make forty bucks.”)

This is another reason I love the rise of feminism: I pray it means the death of catty-ism. (An energy I sadly grew up with.)

So ya, back to the poly stuff: I’m on an impromptu date with my crush, my bf doesn’t really know, I look like shit, but can’t see that cuz I left my glasses at home. He walks in the bar and I’m almost in shock that we’re together. I think it’s been months since we’ve been in the same room together. And since when did I start going after things I want…?

I’m shockingly comfortable around him. That’s a plus about bonding with someone while you’re in a relationship. You don’t try as hard to sell yourself as when you’re single. You’re just you, and if they don’t like it, who cares? (I admire people who are like this all the time.)

He suggests we go to Chez Jay next. Ooooooooh, I love a new bar. Never been. So excited. Even more excited that he’s ditched his car, and will get it in the morning. I love a man who drinks responsibly. (Is this how I book a MADD commercial, or do I still need to have babies?)

Chez Jay is great. I like having bars like this on my radar. The conversation is going steady, tho I’m praying my primary and polyamory doesn’t come up. I just want to enjoy this night, as it is. The same way I did as a single person. I really don’t want to dive into the politics of it all. I think I’m more terrified that talking about it will scare him away…

When Chez Jay closes, he asks me if I wanna come over for some porch beers.

Yup. You know I do.

Again… is this the moment I text my bf and let him know I’m going over to a guy’s house? I mean technically, there’s a good chance nothing will happen. Seems too soon to ring the alarm. And if there’s one expression comedians know, it’s “too soon.”

He gets us an Uber/Lyft, whichever- most cars in town have both stickers. When we get to his house, I hit the bathroom. Every girl’s most investigative move in a dude’s house. Is his hand towel also his bath towel? Is this a one towel wonder situation? Does he own toilet paper? I don’t make it that far, because I’ve sprayed surprise period all over my undies. (If those Tumblr names didn’t scare you away, this surely will, eh?)

I search the cupboards for anything remotely handy in this moment. There’s nothing. Maybe I should hit the kitchen, and look for coffee filters. Those should work, right?

Nah, I’ll just do the ol’ “tie toilet paper around my underwear” move. It’s the move you do when you first get your period, in case you don’t know. (I FEEL SO YOUNG AGAIN! MAYBE I DON’T NEED BANGS!)

Porch beers are the best. I’m a fan of his roommates. We’re all having a great time, but then… 

Something more unexpected than my bloody kitty happens. This beautiful, young blonde chick walks up to the porch.

“Hey, I live across the street. All my friends went to sleep, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

Holy. Mother. Trucker. It’s 3:00am. This isn’t the moment I was expecting competition…

But here we are.

The guys grab her a beer. Now again, I am not into “catty-ism.” BUT- I am a share holder of “insecurity-ism.” And if I were any one of these guys on this porch, I would def hit on this chick instead of me. She’s legit extremely cool. There’s a part of me that wonders if this is fate’s little way of saying,

You’re not ready to pop your poly cherry yet.

I never rang the alarm. I can still get out of this… innocently?

Either way, I think she might be might be my personal savior (another word I spell wrong cuz I’m Canadian and think there’s a “u” in it.)

“Do you have a tampon?”

“Of course! Come on over!”

She takes me over to her apartment, and literally gives me all her pads cuz she doesn’t use them. Bonus. My favourite sleep aid. I fucking love this girl.

We head back over to the boys, and I know I’m drunk, bleeding and tired. I ask my crush if there’s a place I can crash. He escorts me to his roommate’s room, and tucks me in. (Don’t worry- the roommate wasn’t there. That would have been the real poly, eh?)

As I fall asleep, like a loser at a slumber party who goes to bed first, I can’t help but think,

“He’s a great guy. She’s a great girl. If they hook up, I’m fine with it.”

PRACTICE COMPERSION! Why is compersion so much easier when you’re not dating someone? I fall asleep/pass out- which ever you like to believe at this hour. In the morning, I wake up in a super funny comedian’s bed. Alone. I make the bed, as a sure fire way to say “a chick was here” and text my crush.

“Oh I wanna say bye, but I don’t know what room is yours.”

I can’t just knock on random doors… Plus he might not be alone. I def don’t want to interrupt kinky times with the pad donor. All of a sudden, one of the roommates pops out of his room. I ask him which room is _______’s and he shows me. In this moment, I know I’m risking becoming a piece of gossip my boyfriend might hear… 

And not through me…

I lightly knock on the door. When I hear a groggy “come in” I open the door.

There’s NO hot, cool, tampon savior chick in his bed. He’s just sleeping, post drinking style, alone.

“Oh, I just wanted to say goodbye…”

And then, without saying another word, I crawl into bed with him.