#beverley cross

[movie--posters]

[vintagewarhol]

[zeebreezin]

Okay I think I’m finished the Scintillating Harbinger’s design for now. Come meet Beverley’s horrid final form (unless?)! Featuring a bunch of details and also the item you get for finally putting him in the grave: Deliverance, Stopped 7 Minutes to Daybreak.

[period-dramallama]

The 1970 Six Wives series really nailed what a sleazy bastard the 3rd Duke of Norfolk was beneath his veneer of chivalry and aristocracy.

[pronoun-fucker]

IN 1986, Sophie Ottaway was born with a very rare condition which required immediate surgery.

Cloacal exstrophy happens when the organs in the abdomen do not form correctly in the womb, resulting in babies born with organs such as the bladder or intestines outside the body.

Doctors had to operate to save her life.

Sophie was actually a boy, with a tiny, damaged penis but healthy testes.

But doctors advised Sophie’s parents that their baby’s male ­genitalia should be removed to avoid further complications.

The baby had to be registered by the following day, which meant they had to decide whether to tick male or female on the form.

Sophie’s parents Karen and John followed the surgeons’ advice.

“They were told not to tell me,” says Sophie, a warm and friendly 37-year-old who has since fully forgiven her parents for their decision.

“We are very close,” she tells me, “despite going through some rocky times in the past.”

Life changed for Sophie, who grew up in Beverley, East Yorks, when she was 22 years old and visiting her GP surgery for tonsilitis.

She says: “I saw on the computer screen that I had XY chromosomes, had been castrated hours after birth, and an incision was made where a vagina would be.”

Although Sophie exploded at her parents in the moment, she buried her feelings about it all until 13 years later when, hospitalised during a Covid lockdown, it was discovered she had developed sepsis that had ended up in her intestines.

‘I went into 13 years of absolute denial’

This was what led her to decide to speak out.

Sophie was already aware that many children and young people were being groomed in gender ideology, persuaded to take puberty blockers, then set on a medical pathway for life.

She says: “At age 11, as I approached puberty, they put me on oestrogen because there’s no ovaries, and no testes to produce testosterone.

“This is what doctors are doing now to kids who wish to change gender — putting them on blockers.”

It was a lie when Sophie was told she had to take oestrogen for life because her ovaries had been removed at birth as a result of damage.

Sophie was born biologically male. “So obviously there were never any ovaries,” she says wryly.

She adds: “The time to tell me and try to get informed consent was at the point we introduced the endocrinologist. This is the time puberty blockers are being offered to kids, so I make that connection with what’s happening today.”

When feminists and others critical of the medicalisation of children with gender dysphoria have said that these drugs and interventions are harmful, we are often labelled bigots. But Sophie is speaking from personal experience, in the hope that she will be listened to rather than dismissed and vilified.

About five years ago, Sophie chose to stop taking the hormones, because “I was adamant that many problems in my life were being caused by them.

“I was about 4st heavier than I am now, and I wasn’t eating badly. I was having bladder pain beyond belief.

“I had fatigue and was quite angry a lot of the time.”

By then, Sophie had been taking oestrogen for 20 years, and decided enough was enough. She was told she should keep taking it because it was for bone density, to which she replied that she would have regular bone scans.

Sophie had no choice but to go on oestrogen, because the doctors prescribed it to her as a child — but surely she should be listened to when she warns of the effects cross-sex hormones have on the body?

Now that she no longer takes it, all her symptoms have improved.

She says: “We’re selling this idea of perfection in the guise of changing gender. You’ve got all of these problems and might be struggling because you don’t fit in at school, or because you like boys’ toys and you’re a girl, or vice versa. As someone who knows all about decisions made under time pressure and who has paid the price, Sophie’s understanding of the sales pitch being made to children before puberty is crystal clear.

She says: “You’ve got a sale based on a time pressure.

“We’re going to push you through this for the puberty blockers, we’re going to make that sale.”

Keen to stress that there is a big difference between a girl behaving “like a boy”, wearing boys’ clothes and haircuts, Sophie adds: “Puberty blockers are a different level to how we dress and which toys we favour.”

The idea being sold is that gender reassignment is the answer to all your problems, but Sophie says: “What you get is genital mutilation, castration, and a lifetime of dangerous hormones, which was my experience.”

As she points out: “Children can’t vote, they can’t drink, can’t drive.

“But you can choose to do something life-changing.”

Sophie hopes that by speaking out and telling her unvarnished truth, some children — and parents — might make a different choice.

She says that when she found out that she’d been born male, “I obviously knew I had urological problems, and I knew that I had no vagina because of the surgeries.

“I didn’t address it at that point. I was 22, in second year at university.

“I had a plan of my life. And dealing with this monstrosity was not in the plan. I got up the next day and went to university.

“I still had the same connection with my friends. I was still the ­person I was 24 hours ago.

“But I went into 13 years of ­absolute denial.”

She never told anyone about it, not even close friends.

‘When I came out of hospital I was raging’

Then, during the pandemic, Sophie found herself in hospital a couple of times, and it all came crashing down.

She recalls: “They thought it was a kidney infection, but they couldn’t get to the bottom of it.

“When I was born they had fashioned some female genitalia. Brown putrid fluid starting leaking out of the hole and it would not stop.

“I presented at the hospital and I had to tell them for the first time about what had happened to me.”

When doctors examined her, they saw that there was something very wrong.

It turned out there was a mass in her abdomen, which was the neovagina — inserted when she was a baby — and left to rot.

Sophie says: “I found out from my mum that they had inserted it when I was two days old, and that one day it popped out and was found in my nappy.”

Surgeons replaced it during a later operation, sealed it up, and left it, which is why it led to sepsis many years later.

“No one had been told it had been put back in,” says Sophie.

Up until this point she had thought that the surgeon had simply operated to save her life — “which he did, but he also did a hell of a lot of other stuff that was unnecessary.”

What’s more, the doctors failed to do something that was necessary — namely, address the complex urological problems that have plagued Sophie all her life.

She says this “is one of the things that has the biggest effect on having any kind of intimate relationship. And yet the one thing that they could have fixed is my incontinence.”

She tells me: “When I came out of hospital, I was raging at that point.”

And she thought that by speaking out, she might be able to help those who think they are in the wrong body.

Sophie says: “A lot of them are being groomed to feel that way or question those thoughts in the first place by the school and the system and the media. Those kids need help.”

A much better solution, she argues, would be to divert funding currently being used for puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and surgery and ­allocate it to children’s mental health services and counselling.

Sophie says: “We can work with that person to find out why they are feeling like this.

“Then, maybe when they become an adult, they might be mature enough to be properly informed and consent to any changes to the outer body.

“It is often assumed I am transgender, but I really don’t like labels. I am just Sophie.

Poised for a backlash from the more extreme trans activists, Sophie makes it clear that she respects any adult’s decision to choose that path — so long as they are properly informed.

But she is clear that this is never appropriate for children.

“I don’t want this to happen to any other baby born with this condition,” she says.

“We have to find better ways to support kids to live in the body they are born with.”

Link | Archived Link

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in March 2024 🌈

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Struggling to keep up with all the amazing queer books coming out this month? Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Remember to #readqueerallyear! Happy reading!

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Shift: A Memoir of Identity and Other Illusions - Penny Guisinger 🧡 Tempting Olivia - Clare Ashton 💛 Monilinia - Free Mints 💚 Guillaume - Aurora Dimitre 💙 The Marble Queen - Anna Kopp & Gabrielle Kari 💜 The Baker & the Bard - Fern Haught ❤️ Rainbow! - Sunny & Gloom 🧡 The Safe Zone - Amy Marsden 💛 The Weavers of Alamaxa - Hadeer Elsbai 💙 The No-Girlfriend Rule - Christen Randall 💜 A Different Kind of Brave by Lee Wind 🌈 Cirque du Slay - Rob Osler ❤️ Wizard’s Debt - Niranjan 🧡 One Last Breath - Ginny Myers Sain 💛 Nothing Special - Katie Cook 💚 I Feel Awful, Thanks - Lara Pickle 💙 The Tower - Flora Carr 💜 Be the Sea - Clara Ward ❤️ What Grows in the Dark - Jaq Evans 🧡 Heirs of Bone and Sea - Kay Adams 💛 The Haunting of Velkwood - Gwendolyn Kiste 💙 Thunder Song - Sasha taqwšəblu LaPointe 💜 Mona of the Manor - Armistead Maupin 🌈 Like Happiness - Ursula Villarreal-Moura

❤️ Ellipses - Vanessa Lawrence 🧡 Saint, Sorrow, Sinner - Freydís Moon 💛 Blood & Brujas - Mikayla D. Hornedo 💚 Infinity Kings - Adam Silvera 💙 Really Cute People - Markus Harwood-Jones 💜 How You Were Born - Kate Cayley ❤️ These Bodies Between Us - Sarah Van Name 🧡 Icarus - K. Ancrum 💛 The Emperor and the Endless Palace - Justinian Huang 💙 How Not to Date an Angel - Lana Kole 💜 Enemy Colours - R.M. Olson 🌈 Broken Parts Included - Alyson Root

❤️ Who's Afraid of Gender? - Judith Butler 🧡 The Duke’s Cowboy - Andrew Grey 💛 The Secret Something - Emily Wright 💚 Colstead & Andie - Olivia Janae 💙 Play It Again, Ma’am - Sienna Waters 💜 Love Is…? - K.J. Wrights ❤️ Welcome to Forever - Nathan Tavares 🧡 Just Another Epic Love Poem - Parisa Akhbari 💛 The Phoenix Bride - Natasha Siegel 💙 These Letters End in Tears - Musih Tedji Xaviere 💜 Truly Home - J.J. Hale 🌈 Monster Mixer - Robin Jo Margaret

❤️ The House of Hidden Meanings - RuPaul 🧡 Promised to the Queen - Barbara Winkes 💛 A Conclave of Crimson - Nicole Eigener & Beverley Lee 💚 A Hunt of Blood and Iron - Cara Nox 💙 The Fealty of Monsters - Ladz 💜 Ariel Crashes a Train - Olivia A. Cole ❤️ Those Beyond the Wall - Micaiah Johnson 🧡 Dancing Toward Stardust - Julia Underwood 💛 Heir to Dreams & Darkness - Ben Alderson 💙 Comet Cruise - Niska Morrow 💜 Dead Girls Walking - Sami Ellis 🌈 Blackout - Carlos E. Rivera

❤️ Monster Crush - Erin Ellie Franey 🧡 Blessed Water - Margot Douaihy 💛 These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart - Izzy Wasserstein 💚 Kiss of Seduction - Rawnie Sabor 💙 Sunbringer - Hannah Kaner 💜 Evacuation to Love - C.A. Popovich ❤️ Sin - Brooke Matthews 🧡 Falls from Grace - Ruby Landers 💛 Lean in to Love - Catherine Lane 💙 A Small Apocalypse - Laura Chow Reeve 💜 Cascade Failure - L.M. Sagas 🌈 The Mars House - Natasha Pulley

❤️ All This Time - Sage Donnell 🧡 The Romance Lovers Book Club - MA Binfield 💛 View from the Top - Morgan Adams 💚 Number Call - Nagisa Furuya 💙 Crossing Bridges - Chelsey Lynford 💜 The Boyfriend Subscription - Steven Salvatore ❤️ Love the World or Get Killed Trying - Alvina Chamberland 🧡 Synthetic Sea - Franklyn S. Newton 💛 The Prince & His Stolen Groom - J.E. Ridge 💙 Chrysalis and Requiem - Quinton Li 💜 Where Sleeping Girls Lie - Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé 🌈 A Botanical Daughter - Noah Medlock

❤️ Wednesday Nights - by Donna Jay 🧡 The Woods All Black - Lee Mandelo 💛 Song of the Huntress - Lucy Holland 💚 Rainbow Black - Maggie Thrash 💙 Spirits & Sunflowers - A.D. Armistead & Austin Daniel 💜 Floating Hotel - Grace Curtis ❤️ Far From Camelot - Rylee Hale 🧡 This Way to Change - Jezz Chung 💛 Mexican Bird - Luis Lopez-Maldonado 💙 Android Affection: Unveiling - Beau Van Dalen 💜 Welcome to the Damned - Astraea Long 🌈 She Came for Blood - Darva Green

❤️ Cover Story - Rachel Lacey 🧡 The Poisons We Drink - Bethany Baptiste 💛 The Perfect Guy Doesn't Exist - Sophie Gonzales 💚 In Walked Trouble - Dana Hawkins 💙 Never Leave, Never Lie - Thea Verdone 💜 Guardian: Zhen Hun - Priest ❤️ All the World Beside - Garrard Conley 🧡 Rainbows, Unicorns, and Triangles - Jessica Kingsley Publishers 💛 The Feast Makers - H.A. Clarke 💙 Synthetic Sea - Franklyn S. Newton 💜 All the Painted Stars - Emma Denny 🌈 A Hard Sell - Jennifer Moffatt

[justforbooks]

Maggie Smith: the magisterial star of Harry Potter and Downton had the courage and talent to do absolutely everything

The real-life dame and on-screen dowager countess, who has died aged 89, earned fame in her 70s and 80s for blockbuster roles. But her early work at the National Theatre marked her out as a talent for the ages

Dame Maggie Smith’s trophy cabinet reflected her extraordinary achievements across theatre, film and television – and in the biggest arenas of British and US culture, from the BBC to Hollywood, the West End to Broadway. A measure of her versatility and durability is that, in the 1960s, she played nine major roles in the formative years of the National Theatre, but also, from the start of the 2000s, appeared in five series of Downton Abbey, the ITV Sunday night series that became one of the biggest popular hits of the new millennium.

Her role in that show was Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham, who lived in such a bubble of exclusive comfort that, in trademark one-liners, she would drawl in mystification, for example: “What is a ‘weekend’?” That acerbic superiority was a signature throughout Smith’s career, including the part that brought her first Academy award in 1970, against a shortlist also featuring Liza Minnelli and Jane Fonda, for the title role in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, adapted from Muriel Spark’s novel about a maverick, arrogant schoolteacher in Edinburgh.

Smith consistently had the courage and talent to do unexpected things. Her second Oscar, in 1979, was for California Suite, with a script by Neil Simon and a cast of high Hollywood talent including Alan Alda and Walter Matthau. Introducing an element of postmodernism to a mainstream comedy, Smith played exactly what she had been at the start of the decade: an English actress up for her first Academy award.

Another surprise on her CV demonstrated an ability to play it straight and dark. In 2019, after 12 years away from the stage, Smith, at the age of 84, performed a 100-minute monologue at the Bridge theatre in London. A German Life was adapted by Christopher Hampton from a documentary movie interview given, at the age of 102 (the show was a rare case of an octogenarian ageing up for a part), by Brunhilde Pomsel, who worked for the Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels during the Holocaust, but who continued to deny complicity or guilt. With typical meticulousness, Smith refused to accept the part until she had proved to herself at home that she could memorise an extended solo. Combining enduringly impeccable technique with the guts to test it again at such an age, it was a late triumph in an astonishing career.

Margaret Smith – she preferred her full first name, the “Maggie” imposed on her to distinguish from another performer on the Equity register – was born in Ilford, Essex. Her mother, who worked as a secretary, was Scottish, so useful for the creation of the Brodie brogue. Her father, Nathaniel, was a pathologist, whose academic posting to Oxford led to his daughter attending the city’s girls’ high school.

Despite joining the Oxford Playhouse Company at 16, rather than going to college, Smith benefited from the local varsity theatrical privileges, cast in Oxford University Dramatic Society productions, including revues, which, at the time were attended by national critics.

Such was the impact she made in comedy skits and songs that, aged 21, she was part of an ensemble recruited to appear on Broadway in a revue called New Faces of 1956. In London, during the following two years, she appeared, with co-stars including Kenneth Williams, in an English show, Share My Lettuce, billed as “a diversion with music”, with a script by Bamber Gascoigne.

At that point, Smith seemed set to be a sketch-and-music comedian, especially when Strip the Willow, a play about the survivors of a nuclear war in the UK, failed to transfer to London from a UK tour. It was written by Beverley Cross, whom Smith had met at the Oxford Playhouse. He wrote the play for her as an attempted seduction, the first description of her character being “beautiful. As elegant and sophisticated as a top international model. A great sense of fun. A marvellous girl.’’

However, at that stage, no lasting relationship occurred. And Smith’s serious dramatic career was launched when she appeared, again paired with Kenneth Williams, in a double bill of plays, The Private Ear and The Public Eye, by Peter Shaffer, in 1962. These won Smith her first Evening Standard best actress statuette, at the age of 27, and caught the attention of Sir Laurence Olivier, then establishing, at Chichester, the first attempt at a National Theatre. Crucially to the development of her reputation, Olivier trusted her not only with comedy – such as The Recruiting Officer, George Farquhar’s early 18th-century farce – but also tragedy: she was Desdemona to Olivier’s performance in the title role of Othello.

Also at the National, Smith formed a relationship with the actor Robert Stephens, who became her first husband, and father of her sons, who, as Toby Stephens and Chris Larkin, followed their parents into acting.

Dramatic Exchanges, a collection of correspondence from the National Theatre archives, shows the close creative relationship between Olivier and Smith. A habitual nicknamer, he addressed her as “Mageen”. He had long told her that her perfect role would be Millamant, a strong-willed woman conspiring to achieve a desired marriage, in William Congreve’s Restoration comedy The Way of the World. But, in 1968, with Smith having left the company following her marriage with Stephens and pregnant with their first child, Olivier proceeded to stage the play with Geraldine McEwan as Millamant.

Olivier’s letter of apology to Smith contained elaborately verbose admiration. Smith wrote a reply of pained regret concluding: “Well, what’s the point of trying to tell you my feelings. They obviously count for so very little. It was nice of you to say you will devote your energies to my return but really I do not think it would be wise of me to believe that either. Margaret.”

There is a waspish, unforgiving tone in that letter that was part of Smith’s personality; some of those who worked with her, especially younger actors struggling with their roles, were wounded by witty but cruel putdowns.

That bad casting luck at the National, though, was more than balanced out. Had Julie Andrews, in the same year, not turned down the Jean Brodie movie, Smith would never have played the part that redefined her career. With her American bankability increased by a US tour of Noël Coward’s Private Lives, Smith used it to go into a kind of theatrical exile from Olivier and Britain. From 1976 to 1980, she played four summer seasons at the Shakespeare festival in Stratford, Ontario, conceived as a sort of ex-pat RSC-National, where she finally played the part of Millamant and other roles that might have been expected in London, such as Lady Macbeth.

Smith fell into a happy rhythm of filming gigs split with Canadian acting sabbaticals. While she rehearsed or acted, Beverley Cross wrote to her, having become Smith’s second husband in 1975 following her divorce from Robert Stephens.

When Smith returned to London theatre, she took over from Diana Rigg as the troubled modern colonial wife Ruth Carson, in Tom Stoppard’s Night and Day. She confirmed her resurgence with two more Evening Standard awards, in 1981 and 1984, for London runs of shows she had premiered in Canada. In Virginia, by Edna O’Brien, she was the writer Virginia Woolf, for whom Smith’s gift for haughty wit made her natural casting. Then, 16 years after the disappointment with Olivier, she finally played the coveted role in The Way of the World in her own city.

Smith, in contradiction of the standard professional graphs, had, after that slight mid-career dip, a third act even more glorious than her first. Shaffer wrote for her Lettice and Lovage, a comedy maximising her command of sardonic superiority, as Lettice Douffet, a tour guide who begins to embellish history. She took the play to New York, where she won a Tony award. Smith also became an Alan Bennett specialist. She co-starred with Michael Palin in the movie A Private Function in 1984, as a Yorkshire woman using a black-market pig to prevent wartime rationing thwarting her upward mobility. In the 1988 first series of Bennett’s Talking Heads monologues for television, she was a vicar’s wife, anxious about private sins, in A Bed Among the Lentils. On stage (1999) and screen (2015), she was memorable as The Lady in the Van, a fictionalised version of Miss Shepherd, a Catholic evangelist tramp who for some years lived in a caravan on Bennett’s driveway.

There was a trio of West End appearances in plays by the great American dramatist Edward Albee: as the oldest (90-something) of three versions of the writer’s imperious mother in Three Tall Women (1994); playing a vicious drunk in a family menaced by an unnamed “plague” in A Delicate Balance (1997); and a mysterious matriarch visiting a deathbed in The Lady from Dubuque (2007), a rare flop that put Smith off theatre.

Another reason for her retreat from theatre was, unusually for a septuagenarian performer, a vast demand from movie studios. Between 2001 and 2011, she appeared in seven of the eight Harry Potter films, as Professor Minerva McGonagall, transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, her embodiment of the formidable Scottish academic seeming to contain affectionate nods to Brodie. The part brought Smith considerable wealth – she joked about the “Harry Potter pension fund” – and a vast new fanbase that, she complained, made it impossible for her to shop in Waitrose any more.

Her cinematic renaissance had also included Robert Altman’s Gosford Park (2001). In this English country house drama, written by Julian Fellowes, Smith’s character was at least a first cousin to her Downton Abbey countess. Appearing in a TV series with an average audience of 10 million made it even harder for Dame Maggie (as she had become in 1990) to go shopping. But this late superstardom, half a century or more after her first major theatre and movie successes, confirmed that she was an actor with the rare ability to do anything she wanted anywhere.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[gamergirl-06]

Bruno headcanons

I had these headcanon’s in my mind also G/N

How you first met:

-Bruno was doing one of his runs for looting supplies for the survivors back at Emma’s when he heard a call for help.

-Immediately rushed out of the store and seen you getting swarmed by a bunch of those Z’s and so he jumped into action taking down each of them, dodging and weaving hits they threw at him.

-Once he had killed all of them he asked if your were ok and you said yes.

-To be honest, Bruno was taken by you, you were absolutely beautiful/handsome/good looking.

-He introduced himself “I’m Bruno, what’s your name hottie?”.

-you started blushing like crazy but introduced yourself back to him “I’m Y/N”.

-From that point onwards you two became best friends.

When he realised his feelings:

-You had known each other for a little while at this point

-Bruno was actually trying to convince himself that it was just an admiration for you and not a full blown crush.

- He didn’t ever see himself be with someone, he actually told you when he first met you that’s why he stopped answering his Abuela’s calls as she pestered him to find love (and also fix his hair).

-He would tell himself “No, you don’t like her like that…it’s just admiration…”

-When he finally did realise it was an actual crush he kinda..changed around you.

-you noticed the change in his demeanour when you two went out for information in Beverley Hills when you guys passed some Z’s minding their own business, he suddenly pulled you into him and never let go.

-This never happened up until that point so you were a bit confused as to why but you enjoyed it because you actually liked him as well.

-It also did continue to happen but as much as you enjoyed being in close contact with him, you confronted him later on back at Emma’s.

-He refused to answer why he does it, which kinda made you frustrated.

-It turned into a bit of a fight, you asking him what’s wrong and him refusing to give an actual answer.

-you tell him whatever, and leave him in your shared room.

- You tell the others you’re going out for supplies to stock up since you hadn’t needed supplies for at least a few weeks.

-Sam asks to come with you, and you agree, you’re gonna need the help when shit possibly goes south.

He says “I Love You” for the first time:

- A While after you and Sam left to go for supplies, Bruno came downstairs in order to apologize to you.

-When he doesn’t see you, he asks Emma where you are.

-When Emma tells him you and Sam went out for supplies, he panicked.

-A long string of curse words followed soon after with Spanish.

- “Fuck fuck shit FUCKKKK, Soy Una Idiota (I’m such an idiot)”.

-Everyone jumped when the front door slammed open with sam carrying you in his arms, bloody and a bit beaten up.

-The horrified look on Bruno’s could not amount to the pain and guilt he felt.

- He was angry now “What…happened!”

-Sam explained that when you guys were on the way back a crusher crossed your path and as it almost died it knocked you to the ground and you hit your head.

-Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he watched Sam carry you to you guy’s room and seek medical attention.

-He followed Sam and held your hand as someone treated you and told him you could wake up anytime.

-With tears that stained his cheeks from sobbing he managed a weak smile.

-“I’m so sorry that I was such a dick, I-i just…goddammit I love you so much..I said it…te amo (I love you).

-you stirred slightly but didn’t open your eyes.

-Bruno thought you might have just been restless in your sleep so he got up and left you to sleep more.

-Little did he know, you heard him and you smiled a little “I love you too Bru”

First Kiss:

-A few days after that exchange, you guys were up on the roof of the Jaunt mansion in the late afternoon, watching the beautiful sunset together.

-You turn to him “Hey Bru?

-He turns to you and nods “hmm”.

-Your heart started beating faster, you took a breath before saying it “is it true”.

-He stopped for a sec before answering “What?”.

-“That you love me”.

-He froze…you heard him.

-You suddenly look away, feeling embarrassed that you even bought it up.

-“It is actually” came the reply.

-You didn’t even have time to stop yourself from saying it “I love you too”.

-your face goes red and you go to scramble up from your spot but instantly pulled back down and a finger hooks itself under your chin.

-Bruno looks into your eyes before slowly the gap capturing your lips in his.

-You two spend the rest of the evening cuddled up

-It’s you Two against the world

[yes-divine-ruler]

𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒

part 2

pairing: kai anderson x fem!reader

CW: smut incl. vaginal sex; not proofread

Taglist/ @v-love @evanpetersfav @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @humdrumexistence @simp4petermaximoff f @sultrysullen @evan4ever @zoebens0ncult @therewasnothinginthekoolaid

word count: 3252

all parts

Kai didn't think you'd run against him after he technically assaulted you in his office. He thought you would fear him, knowing what he was capable of, and knowing now that he wasn't afraid to show that to you.

He sat in his parent's basement, his eyes scanning across the monitor of his computer. He was on facebook, working on his campaign, trying to further promote himself across Brookfield Heights. His eyes narrowed as he scanned over the newest council post, and then widened when he realised what it said.

He almost punched the screen seeing a proud, smiling photo of you front and centre, pinned to the council's page. Everything about you was so unbearable, but he couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat seeing your face.

Ignoring the feeling, he skimmed through the post that was announcing a new candidate for council, paired with a list of your policies.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He muttered to himself, equal rights? Securing a living wage for all people? Climate change?

He almost threw up from how progressive and stupid everything was- did you really think you could make a change with all that?

"Winter!" Kai called out to his sister, who after a minute, came running down the stairs to be of service.

"Yes Kai?" She asked wearily, noticing her brother's heated tone and the way his teeth were grit and his jaw was locked.

"Read this bullshit and then get everyone to come down here, obviously killing Sally Kefler wasn't enough," he muttered, pushing himself in his wheeled desk chair to give Winter the room to crouch down by the monitor and read the post.

In her head, she was pleased at the opponent's policies, so happy to see that there was a candidate that actually cared about everyone's quality of life. Winter was never a firm believer in her brother's views, but since he was all she had, she had no choice but to stick by his side. They were blood, and nothing could come between that, even Kai's cult. The photo peaked her interests, noticing that you were the girl that caused a riot at Kai's rally earlier in the week, and also the girl that handed her a flyer that she accepted outside her favourite vegan cafe.

"Right," Winter got up from her knees and walked back towards the stairs, "I'll call everyone."

She was hoping that her brother wouldn't try and hurt you, but she also knew hoping that was pointless, because that's what he did; he never won anything fairly.

The meeting commenced shortly after, everyone gathering in a circle on small fold-our chairs and peering at each-other curiously.

"Everyone," Kai started, lacing his fingers together and resting them in his lap, "I'm afraid we have more competition we must eliminate."

The group was getting tired of culling Kai's completion, but seeing as it was the only way for him to become councilman, it was almost a weekly mandatory occurrence.

"This is Y/N, my opposing candidate for council," Kai sets his laptop in his lap, and turns it around so the screen was on display to the rest of the group. Most eyebrows shot up in interest, some recognising your face from town hall.

"And thanks to Jack," Kai points his outstretched arm in the direction of his devoted follower, "we have an address."

"So, what are you suggesting Kai?" Beverley speaks up, her arms crossed over her chest as she cocks her head to the side in question.

Kai lets out a maniacal laugh, closing his laptop and setting it back down to the side.

"We get rid of her, of course."

You were totally consumed with your campaign for council you hardly had enough time to think about anything else. Even when you were brushing your teeth in the morning, you were practicing a winning smile, and the way you'd speak in front of the camera for your upcoming news interview. Everything was fuelled by the absolute loathing you felt for your component, and how hard you wanted to take him and his malicious cult down. 

"Hello, our future councilwoman," Jude interrupted your thoughts, behind her a blonde woman. The presence of a stranger took you by surprise, seeing as you were in the comfort of your apartment and dressed accordingly.

"This is Ivy."

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your legs in your desk chair.

"Hi Ivy," you say reluctantly, itching to know where this was going and why she was in your apartment.

"Ivy here has come from Kai Anderson's cult, she admitted to all of it," Jude says excitedly, calling her hands together for emphasis.

Your eyes almost bug out of your head.

"Kai Anderson? As in, the Kai Anderson we're trying to take down, what does she want?" You get out of your chair quickly, covering yourself with your robe and taking a step back. How could Jude just bring in one of Kai's cult members in such a calm and relaxed manner?

"No Y/N," Jude steps forward, "she's on our side, she wants to take him down too."

"Like a double agent?"

"Precisely," Ivy butts in, her voice chipper. You take a moment to process what's happening, now that you have a big advantage over Kai and the remainder of his murderous cult.

"I need to sit down," you shuffle over to the couch, and soon Jude and Ivy join you.

"Look, Kai is a dangerous man. He doesn't care about any of us like he says he does, he's going to eliminate us one by one so it's just him at the top," Ivy starts, fiddling with the hem of her cashmere sweater, "everything you stand for I resonate with, I want you to win this, I want to help you beat Kai."

Ivy delves into the dynamic of the cult, revealing to you in the process their plan to "get rid of you".

"I knew that was going to happen," a small smile curls at the corner of your mouth, "I know he killed Sally."

"Look-" Ivy reaches across the sofa to grab onto one of your hands. You noticed her palm was clammy.

"I'll let you know when he comes up with an official plan, you'll be safe, we'll get you out of here."

It warmed your heart to know Ivy was on your side, but you couldn't help but question her motive, despite telling you she despised Kai and felt sucked in by his charisma and promised protection. Maybe she was just trying to infiltrate your group and get the ins and outs of your plans.

"Prove it to me," you start, letting go of her hand and crossing your arms over your chest, "prove it to me, and tell me where Kai will be tonight."

Her eyes widen at your sudden change in attitude, but she nods her head in understanding. You assumed Ivy realised that it seemed sceptical.

"Okay, I'll text Jude his whereabouts," Ivy stands, smoothing out her sweater, "I know he's feeling threatened at the moment, and if I know him well enough, I can guess he'd be at a bar tonight mixing vodka with his adderall."

It was 8 pm on the dot, and just as Ivy said, you'd peered inside to see Kai sitting alone behind the bar on first, mixing his drink with his forefinger. His head was bowed as his eyes stayed focused on the glass in front of him, his lips turned downwards into a scowl, his forehead creased with wrinkles. He almost looked as though he was ready to pick up his glass and throw it across the room. You pushed open the door and let yourself inside, strategically sitting three barstools away from your worst sworn enemy.

"Vodka and coke please," you order politely from the bartender, and sit with your fingers tapping the bench as he nods and pours together your drink.

You weren't sure what your plan was now that you were here, alone, close to Kai. You saw him in the corner of your eye, watching as he tilted his head back and finished his drink, his adam's apple bobbing with every gulp. You shifted in your seat, thanking the bartender as he handed you your drink. You looked down at it, and only just realised how badly you needed to take the edge off. Planning a campaign wasn't easy, and in a way you related to Kai since you could imagine he was feeling the same way. If he had feelings.

It didn't take long for you to finish your first drink, and then your second. Soon, you were four drinks deep and the room started to spin in slow, whirling circles. You hadn't had much time to eat today, and the alcohol courses through your veins steadily making your heart thump.

"Following me?"

You were startled to hear a voice by your side, almost totally forgetting that there was anyone else in this bar apart from you and the bartender.

Turning to the side, and almost falling out of your chair, you saw Kai Anderson, the scowl that was on his face a mere hour ago replaced with the biggest shit-eating grin.

Kai had seen you as soon as you walked in. He could sense your stress, and knew you were going to have a few drinks. It’s what he needed to talk to you, to loosen you up, to make you more pliable. He couldn’t help but notice the soft pink hue that danced across your nose and flushed your cheeks and it made his heart flip again. Much to his despair, he’d admired you from the first time he laid eyes on you at town hall. But, he couldn’t let a pretty face and a strong get in the way of world domination.

“I’m here for a drink, Anderson,” you stated as clearly as you could, trying to keep a straight face. Nothing seemed serious enough to you right now, and without thinking, you cracked a small smile. Kai was surprised by your joyous facial expression, but he didn’t show that your smile had any kind of effect on him.

“You happen to be at my bar,” he replied, sitting down on the barstool next to you. You were sitting so close your legs slotted between his open ones. Trying not to acknowledge your proximity, you cleared your throat.

“I wanted to try something different,” you spoke convincingly enough for Kai to shrug you off. Silence overpowered the space between you, allowing the soft hum of the guitarist in the corner and the ambient chatter through the bar to ring in your ears.

“Right,” he finally said, picking up your empty glass and tipping it over.

“How many of these have you had? I didn’t know you were a drinker,” Kai mocked, letting out a small chuckle.

“I’m not-” you snatched the glass from his hand in annoyance, “I just needed this tonight.”

Kai let out a forced couch, nodding his head at your confession. His gaze deterred to wooden overhang of the bar, and he tapped his fingers on it as if he was deep in thought.

“What’s got you so worked up?” You bit your lip as you grabbed one of his hands, stopping his tapping. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like your enemy, and more like a random hot guy at a random bar. Your mind had wondered to your small encounter in his office various times over the past week, and tonight it only felt like it was on steroids. Probably because of the alcohol.

He stopped tapping, and turned to look at you again. Much to his dismay, he felt his heat begin to beat in his ears, and his blood pump to beneath the confines of his jeans, more specifically, to his dick. He breathed in a shuddering breath, and cocked his head to the side. He noticed the way you looked all doe-like at him, your eyes beaming lustrously in the dim overhead lighting. It turned him on so much, just to see you stare at him like that. And you knew that, because right now, you wanted him just as bad.

“I usually get a room for the night, to get away,” Kai looked everywhere but you, your hand still on top of his. You wondered why he wore tape around his fingers, but it was strangely hot.

“Let’s go,” you say, grabbing his hand and stumbling off the bar stool. You barely made it outside before you pinned Kai to the wall and connected your lips in a lust-filled kiss. If you’d asked yourself if you’d hook up with Kai Anderson after how he humiliated you in his office, you’d think you were crazy to even ask, even though it consumed your mind. He was a murderer, a psychopath, your council opponent, but you couldn’t keep away.

One of Kai’s hands gripped your hip, pulling you in impossibly closer to him, sliding his tongue into your mouth. He used his other hand to wave down a cab. You broke the kiss, wiping your sticky smeared lipgloss with the back of your hand as you tried to get your breath back.

“Cabs here,” Kai smiled down at you, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into the backseat. His lips returned to yours almost immediately after giving the driver the address. Your tongues danced in eachother’s mouths, the only thing you could taste being alcohol.

“Fuck,” Kai muttered, detaching his lips from yours and trailing kisses down your jaw, to the back of your ear.

He sucked on the skin just below your lobe, sending a cold shiver up your spine. You couldn’t help the quiet moan that left your lips, feeling his teeth bite at your neck. Any other day, you’d feel for the cab driver, but tonight it was exactly what you needed.

“I hate you, you know,” you said, just above a whisper.

Kai chuckled against your skin, his warm hand trailing under the hem of your short dress. His fingertips brushed your heat though your panties, already sopping and stuck to you.

“Your body says otherwise, otherwise, I’d say I hate you too.”

You shuddered feeling him play with you, delicately drawing circles on the fabric of your panties, barely brushing over your sensitive bundle of nerves.

The cab couldn’t pull up fast enough, and when it did, Kai left the driver a 50 and told him to keep the change. He was just in much of a hurry to bury himself balls-deep inside you, his frustration surrounding your candidacy giving him the desire to make you sob.

The minutes leading up to the reveal of Kai’s booked room were tense, your vision almost blurry from the alcohol as you followed him down the dark hallway. You weren’t sure where Kai was staying, and why it looked so dingy, but if it had a made bed, you couldn’t care less. All you needed was him.

“Hurry up,” you whined, as Kai slid the key into the lock and turned it to open the door. He only let out another laugh, pulling you inside and shutting the door with a slam.

He was quick to pick you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, only just giving your eyes enough time to adjust to the light he’d turned on. He kissed you again, this time with more force, his hips rutting into yours against the door. The cool metal of the door chain dug into your back, as he tugged his jeans down his legs. You gasped, feeling his tip rub against your clothed heat. You’d never needed anything more.

“Please,” you plead against his parted lips, as he moves your panties to the side, now running his tip up and down your slick folds. Kai was so ready to destroy you, and you didn’t even know it.

“Is this what you want?” He asks, his voice husky, still only prodding teasingly at your entrance. He needed to hear you beg for it.

“Yes, fuck. Please Kai,” you whimper, your nails digging into his broad shoulders through his shirt.

“Please what?” He taunts, his eyes so dark with hunger they looked almost all pupil.

“Please, fuck me, I want you,” you pathetically cry, jerking your hips forward.

“Careful what you wish for sweetheart.”

He’d barely finished his sentence before he pistoned into you, a scream almost leaving your lips from the stretch alone. He’d given you no warning, as he began to thrust savagely into your tight cunt, revelling in the way you were already pulsing around him. You thought you might faint, suddenly light headed from the much needed stimulation.

“Oh fuck, your little cunt is tighter than I thought,” Kai hissed between clenched teeth, as your head lolled back to rest against the door.

He slammed you onto him again and again, the wet sounds of your head sending him into overdrive. He couldn’t wait to fill your precious cunt with his cum, because to him, then it would feel like he’d won.

“Oh yes, yes- yes!” You were a spluttering mess against him, taking in every harsh rut so well it filled you to the brim.

He bottomed out inside you, his tip rubbing up against your sweet spot making your eyes rolls and your jaw relax. He needed more control, he needed to see you melt more under him.

He pulled out, causing you to whimper at the loss of contact, before he’d thrown you onto to the bed. You laid back and waited for his next move, watching as he tore off his shirt, exposing his toned chest and abs.

He reached for you, turning you over and pulling your ass up into the air. He positioned himself back at your entrance, and this time when he slid inside you, it hit deeper than before.

Your rested your cheek on the mattress, moaning out with every brutal ram of his cock like you were counting them.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kai seethed, tangling his fingers in your hair and shoving your face into the comforter, your moans now muffled by the obstruction.

He tugged your hair so hard, it felt so good. Tears welled in your eyes as he continued his grave assault on your pussy, your arousal dripping pathetically down your inner thighs.

“Ready for my cum, slut?” He spoke so lowly of you, his words humiliating and degrading, but so arousing.

He lifted your head by your hair, giving you a moment to breathe in the cool air in the room.

“Yes,” you answer, waiting for him to finally come undone inside you.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, please fill me with your cum, sir,” your choice of pet name sent Kai over the edge, the final telltale twitch of his cock and the tightness in his groin pushing him to orgasm.

He only needed to slide his salivated fingers over your clit a few times for you to release around his cock, your thighs shaking from the tidal wave orgasm you were experiencing. If Kai was anything, it wasn’t a selfish lover. As promised, Kai coated your inner walls with his load, and pulled out almost immediately after he’d come down from his high.

You collapsed onto the mattress, wiping your tears as they fell from your glassy eyes. Kai had gotten what he wanted, and so had you.

[sixth-light]

Fic meme

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them (tagged by @themardia)

a beginning (TOG/WoT, Andy & Nile, gen) - If I recall correctly this was in response to a 'cross your newest and oldest fandom' challenge, and well before WoT crashed back into my life with the TV show in late 2021! I've got a whole lot more worldbuilding for this tucked away in the back of my head somewhere...

The Waiting Game (RoL, Peter/Beverley, Peter & Thomas) - it's tagged 'ask box fic' and I think I would have written it as part of a whole lot of post-Hanging Tree prompts, but the years have eroded my memory of who prompted me and what exactly they prompted me.

they choose to take you in (Court of Fives, Bettany & OC) - a Yuletide fic for a very small book fandom which features the clash of a matriarchal and a patriarchal culture; I was obsessed with the idea of a longed-for male heir (still in utero at the end of the series) being...whoops, not that.

The Sight of Other Skies (Eternal Skies trilogy, Samarkar & Tsareg Edene) - another Yuletide fic for a book fandom, ft. female friendship, but mostly an excuse to roll around in the series worldbuilding.

The Retirement of Gabriel Argent (Daniel Blackland series, Gabriel/Max) - I am extremely proud that I wrote the first fic on AO3 for this very tiny fandom. It was the unusual-for-me case of finishing a book trilogy and being absolutely unable to move on without getting this post-canon idea out of my head.

Tagging: @emjee, @raedear, @darlingofdots, @highladyluck, @butterflydm, and anybody else who feels like doing this!

[scotianostra]

On August 22nd, 1138 The Battle of the Standard was fought.

David I King of Scots was famously the ‘ane Sair sanct for the croun’ which quite literally meant “one costly saint to the crown” his piety led to uniquely-generous royal donations to the monastic orders. Sanctity, however, did not prevent him carrying on that other Scots royal tradition - invading England.

Also known as the Battle of Northallerton, the Battle of the Standard was one of two major battles fought in the civil war between the English King Stephen and Empress Matilda in the troubled times down south, known as The Anarchy. The Scottish King David I had crossed the border into England at the head of an army some 16,000 strong, in order to support his niece Matilda’s claim to the throne against Stephen.

With Stephen busy fighting rebel barons in the south of the country, it was left to a mainly locally raised force to repel the invading Scots. Thanks in a large part to Archbishop Thurstan of York, who preached that to withstand the Scots was to do God’s work, an English army of around 10,000 men was recruited.

At the head of the English army was a mast mounted on a cart proudly flying the consecrated banners of the minsters of Beverley, Ripon and York, earning the battle its name.

The English took up their position across the Great North Road a few miles north of Northallerton, blocking the Scots advance southwards. Attempting a surprise early morning attack, King David found the English well prepared and waiting for him.

The battle began with a charge by the unarmoured ‘wild’ Galwegian spearmen, who fell in large numbers under the hail of English arrows. The Galwegians finally fled when two of their leaders were killed.

Although greatly outnumbered, the English resisted several sustained Scottish attacks. Fierce hand to hand fighting continued for around three hours until the Scottish lines broke and retreat turned into a rout. The victorious Yorkshiremen however, failed to take full advantage of the rout allowing many of the Scots to escape and regroup at Carlisle.

As a result of the battle, the Scots would control northern England for the next 20 years, so although they lost the battle they did gain a foothold for some time. On the death of David, his successor and grandson, Malcolm IV was soon forced to surrender David’s gains to King Henry II, the son of the Empress Matilda, who succeeded Stephen as King of England.

[the-virgoperspective]

Killers in The Stars

Part 1

MAJOR TW: sexual assault/themes, abuse, murder, suicide

First and foremost, before we get into all of this, I want to make it very clear that this is purely for research and interest purposes only. I have been saying this for years and will say this until my dying breath; everyone has the potential to be a killer. Everyone has darkness in them. It is all about how you process and make friends with your own darkness and how you process and deal with your own anger, shame, regret, or fear. Your emotional and intellectual environment during your most formative years are extremely crucial to your development into an adult, however, that cannot be fully to blame. True crime is very interesting to me, mainly because these people chose to become their darkness and chose to make it who they are, and that is one of the most important things to remember while studying topics like these. Once you are an adult and responsible for your own actions, it does not only fall on to your past and how it contributes to who you are now, but also falls on to you as an adult and why you chose to go in whichever direction that led you to where you are now. Everything is always a choice. Please remember that.

In this study, I have compiled a list of natal charts belonging to twelve different types of killers from around the world to be analyzed and compared for dominant similarities. There is no guarantee of the times of birth, but for the most accurate reading and determination, I have used the information that was available to me. This analysis is limited only to the natal charts listed below. I will try to keep the analyses short due to the inherently long nature of this post! :3 xoo

List of Killers, birth dates, times, + locations

Andrei Chikatilo | 10/16/1936 @ 4:25PM | Yabluchne, Ukraine

Beverley Allitt | 10/4/1968 @ 9:15AM | Grantham, United Kingdom

Cary Stayner | 8/13/1961 @ 8:37PM | Merced, California, United Sates

Charlene Gallego | 10/10/1956 @ 2:50PM | Stockton, California, United States

Charles Sobhraj | 4/6/1944 @ 10:00PM | Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Christine Malèvre | 1/10/1970 @ 4:15PM | Mantes-la-Jolie, France

Dagmar Overby | 4/23/1887 12:00PM (unknown) | Skanderborg, Denmark

Dennis Rader | 3/9/1945 @ 2:47PM | Pittsburgh, Kansas, United States

Dorángel Vargas | 4/14/1957 @ 11:43PM | Mérida, Venezuela

Ed Gein | 8/27/1906 @ 11:30PM | La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States

Fritz Haarman | 10/25/1879 @ 6:00PM | Hanover, Germany

Patrick Kearney | 9/24/1939 @ 7:05AM | Los Angeles, California, United States

Dominants

*listed highest to least dominant*

Most Dominant Modalities:

Mutable

Fixed

Cardinal

Most Dominant Planets:

Mercury

Sun, Venus, + Neptune

Pluto

Most Dominant Signs:

Virgo

Scorpio

Pisces

Leo + Libra

Most Dominant Aspects:

Trine

Square

Opposition + Sextile

Most Dominant Degrees:

4°

0°, 1°, + 29°

6° + 21°

Most Dominant Houses:

10H

7H, 8H, + 11H

4H, 6H, + 9H

Birth Charts + Analyses

In this section, I will be mentioning a few things that particularly piqued my interest in studying their birth charts and their cases. My main focus will be on their luminaries, personal planets, and how the nodes, the ascendant (AC), the imum coeli (IC), and Midheaven (MC) interact with them. I also calculated asteroids: black moon lilith/mean (h12), dark moon lilith/waldermath (h58), lucifer (1930), sado (118230), nessus (7066), chiron (2060), dejanira (157), karma (3811), nemesis (128), atropos (273), achilles (588), and pandora (55) just out of curiosity, but they will not be included in the analysis. If you’d like to know more about what each of the listed asteroids mean, each one is linked for more information for you to deduce what they represent.

These analyses will be spilt into two posts due to image count restrictions.

Andrei Chikatilo

Born in Ukraine in the year of 1936, Andrei Chikatilo is known as the Soviet Serial Killer, having murdered 53 people (officially confirmed) and is suspected to have killed another 56 people (unproven). Chikatilo was born into a poor family of collective farmers, coming earth side during the recovery period of a severe famine in Ukraine, and had never eaten bread until the age 12. His childhood was, in his words, blighted by poverty, ridicule, hunger, and war.

Discovering his impotence as an adolescent, Chikatilo turned inward, directing his anger, awkwardness, and despair toward himself. He was not very successful with women, due to his insecurity, and had committed his first sexual assault by the age of 17. His adolescence was filled with failed romantic relationships. He succeeded in vocational school, after being rejected from university, then began working in construction in Urals, Nizhny Tagil. After being drafted into the Soviet War from 1957 to 1960, he settled back into his native village upon return from the war, but was unable to stay due to his failed relationships and word of his impotence spreading.

Chikatilo committed his first recorded crime in Shakhty, Ukraine on an innocent 9 year old girl named Yelena Zakotnova. His killings were very heavily linked to his insecurity and rage surrounding his impotence. He normally would strangle his victims and stab them repeatedly after attempting and failing to rape them. His only way to achieve sexual arousal, he discovered, was through stabbing and slashing women and children to death. He recalled the urge to be overwhelming and struggled to resist the temptation for many years.

The murders he committed were truly horrific and inflicted unspeakable pain upon his victims. Many were found with multiple suffocation or strangle wounds and stabbing and slashing wounds to the head, neck, chest, and pelvic regions along with evisceration. He was sentenced to death and shot execution style on 2/14/1994 in Russia for his crimes.

source

Modality: Mutable / Water / Pisces

Planets: Jupiter (25%), Saturn (14%), + Mars (12%)

Signs: Pisces, Virgo, Libra, + Scorpio

Chart Ruler: 7H Virgo Neptune (17°)

🔪4H Gemini Chiron R (23°) conjunct Gemini IC (22°): This indicates emotional fragility and instability in the home, during his childhood, and within his own personal wounds. Chikatilo’s IC conjunct the asteroid of wounds is quite powerful as he clearly felt very fragile and weak throughout his entire life. The Capricorn degree of 22° on his IC is so profound here as there is a theory that it is the degree of “kill or be killed” and he certainly was both; rather a “kill and be killed” in his case. His greatest wound was his impotence and he let it destroy him. His Chiron is also opposing his Jupiter and TN which not only made this journey his purpose but also his fate.

🔪8H Scorpio Moon (5°) square 5H Cancer Pluto (28°): Indicates powerful and transformational emotions that can become overwhelmingly dangerous if not contained. His desire for control over his sexual ability and women/children became all-consuming, leading to his violent actions. He seems to have been a deeply vengeful, paranoid, and self-pitying individual that kept all of this darkness inside until he unleashed it when facing sexual or romantic rejection. His emotions were not only extremely intense but extremely volatile. 5° is the first degree of Leo, indicating there is still much to be learned and worked on with his Moon, and also can indicate childishness; which makes sense with his immature reactions.

🔪7H Virgo Mars (12°) square 9H Sagittarius Jupiter (20°): This aspect indicates the potential to become an aggressive and impulsive individual. Jupiter expands the qualities of Mars in the worst way possible in this case, as he was certainly known to be violent, unpredictable, and highly aggressive. His kills speak for themselves quite clearly. He had difficulty forming intellectual and romantic relationships which fueled his insecurity and anger. He was most likely everyone’s frenemy and rarely kept people close, especially with his Scorpio Moon. There was also a great deal of friction with his sexual energy, personal and sexual relationships, and experience in higher education.

Beverley Allitt

Born in the United Kingdom in the year of 1968, Beverley Allitt is known for being The Angel of Death, wreaking horror upon new parents and their sick infants during her career as a hospital nurse.

There is not much information on Allitt’s early life. She grew up in a village called Corby Glen with a brother and two sisters. Her father was a liquor store employee and her mother was a school custodian. She was known to baby-sit quite frequently, and at the age of 16, Allitt dropped out of school and started nursing courses at Grantham College.

Allitt allegedly appeared to be quite charming, nurturing, and kind; or at least that’s what she wanted people to see. No one suspected of any wrongdoing from her until a pattern started to reveal itself. While working as a nurse at Grantham and Kesteven Hospital, she took four precious lives, attempted to take three more, and severely injured another six infants. Her methods of murder were either by administering insulin or large air bubbles into their intravenous system. No one knows her motive behind her senseless treatment of these poor infants.

She reportedly said to her close friend that she would never go to prison and there is a theory that she showed symptoms of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy. She refused to eat after her first week in prison, leading to a psych evaluation, and she remained in prison due to the initial court ruling that she was not mentally ill. However, she reportedly admitted to all of the murders in a failed application, in order to stay at a mental institution and avoid prison. None of the victims’ families were notified of this confession. She is currently serving her time at Rampton Secure Hospital in Nottinghamshire and will potentially be eligible for parole very soon; if she isn’t already.

source

Modality: Mutable / Water / Pisces

Planets: Pluto (22%), Neptune (17%), + Mercury (14%)

Signs: Pisces, Libra, Virgo, + Scorpio

Chart Ruler: 11H Virgo Pluto (23°) + 10H Virgo Mars (7°)

🔪Scorpio AC (1°) conjunct 1H Scorpio Mercury R (1°) + 1H Scorpio Venus (9°): This aspect indicates the potential to be a very charming and inviting individual. Allitt was most likely highly intelligent, talkative, and visually appealing to some. People often recalled as finding her pleasant and charming. She probably used her words to her utmost advantage, especially while committing her crimes, in order to fool the staff into thinking these deaths were accidental. She surely only let people see and hear from her what she knew was acceptable, especially as a Scorpio ascendant, mercury, + venus. She was quite skilled in keeping aspects of her personality and mind hidden from those around her; and I’m sure some people felt like they really knew her (but sadly they truly had no clue).

🔪11H Virgo Pluto (23°) opposition 5H Aries Chiron (0°): This indicates a transformation of personal wounds; but with an opposition aspect, there can be some friction. With her chiron at 0°, her inner wounds were most likely quite profound and difficult to ignore (as the degree and aspect forces her to focus on healing/improving). This aspect can also indicate becoming a healer, and whether you are healed or not yourself is another thing, as many people continue to work in healing professions and are broken themselves. In this case, she most certainly used her gift as a curse upon her patients. As we do not know her reasoning for her crimes, it can be difficult to ascertain exactly what she was thinking and feeling leading up to the murders and what demons were possibly tempting her. But with this aspect it certainly means the regeneration of her inner wounds were always meant to either uplift or destroy her.

🔪11H Virgo Pluto (23°) conjunct 11H Virgo Jupiter (21°): Indicates large and powerful goals/ideals in an individual. There is a hunger for power and influence here as well as a potentially large hubris. It was clear fairly early on what she wanted to do with her life and she intended on getting there; which she certainly did thanks to her unwavering determination. People that she let in closely probably found her to be quite an intense and controlling individual. In this case, the severity of her actions did not discourage her, even when she was facing serious prison time. It is clear that she did not properly handle the energy of this aspect nor use it to her advantage; letting it consume her instead. This is a perfect example for this aspect of how quickly one’s luck and power can be lost if it is used for ill will.

Cary Stayner

Born in the United States in the year of 1961, Cary Stayner is known for being the Yosemite Park Killer and the brother of a kidnapping victim (Steven Stayner), later being revealed at the age of 37 as a violent and sadistic murderer of women.

Stayner was the first of five children, becoming a big brother to three sisters and a baby brother, Steven. When Steven was 7 years old, he was abducted by a child molester named Kenneth Parnell, and held captive for 7 years. When Steven was 14, he managed to escape his captor and reach safety, reuniting with his family. Stayner recalled feeling quite neglected while Steven was missing and then felt overshadowed by the attention after Steven’s rescue and return. Steven unfortunately passed away in a motorcycle accident in 1989 and is survived by two children.

Stayner claims that what happened to Steven did not contribute to the reason that he is a killer, though others would disagree. He apparently began fantasizing about murdering and abducting women since he was 7 years old, before his brother was abducted. At age 3, Stayner was diagnosed with trichotillomania and medicated for it, although it did not help and his condition worsened as he aged. He was bullied heavily for the bald spots that resulted from his disorder.

Between February and July of 1999, Stayner took the lives of at least two women and two teenage girls. 42 year old Carol Sund and 16 year old exchange student, Silvina Pelosso, were found burnt beyond recognition in the trunk of Carol’s rental car. Carol was strangled and shot while Silvina was raped and shot before being burned. While Carol’s 15 year old daughter, Juliana (Juli) Sund, was also raped and later found with her throat slit. The police made their discovery via two maps that was hand drawn by Stayner himself, directing them to the bodies on the map. Stayner disgustingly wrote beside Juli’s marker on the map: “We had fun with this one.”

source

Modalitiy: Fixed / Earth / Taurus

Planets: Saturn (16%), Sun (15%), + Neptune (15%)

Signs: Leo, Virgo, Capricorn, + Cancer

Chart Ruler: 8H Scorpio Neptune (8°) + 11H Capricorn Jupiter (29°) R

🔪6H Leo Sun (21°) conjunct 6H Leo Mercury (20°) + 6H Leo Uranus (25°): This aspect indicates potential for a highly intelligent, undefinable, and rebellious individual. Sun conjunct Mercury is the most common conjunction that can appear, however it still indicates intelligence and a sense of similitude between the core self and the mind. Stayner was known to be an avid learner and skilled student while in school and work. With The Sun in a separating conjunction with Uranus, it adds an aspect to his ego and self where people do not know what to expect from him; and it is up to him on whether that result is good or bad. In extreme cases like this one, it is possible for the individual to have and experience streaks of violence, unpredictability, and infectious thoughts.

🔪11H Capricorn Jupiter (29°) square 8H Scorpio Neptune (8°): This indicates the potential for extreme ideals, fantasies, and optimism, and if used inappropriately can manifest into something quite dangerous. It can create a sense of feeling untouchable due to living in their own fantasy and their own perception of reality. This energy shows itself quite clearly in his brashness of sending a hand drawn map to the police guiding them to the crimes he committed and especially making light of what he did to his victims. This also shows an unrealistic expectation of receiving some level of fame and recognition for what he’s done; when in reality it is truly horrific and never reached a level of recognition that he truly desired.

🔪6H Leo Uranus (25°) opposition 12H Pisces Chiron (4°): This aspect indicates a separation between the subconscious soul and daily life, work, and health. The way he felt personally was met with opposition with the way in which he cultivated his life. This also can indicate that he most likely was not aware of this energy as the 12H is a very private and personal house. This aspect can cause unpredictable changes to soul wounds and bodily heath as well. Also with his Chiron (early/young degree of 4°) so close to the ascendant and 1H (which includes Aries) and opposing his 6H Uranus (25° of Aries), it would make sense that he developed a sudden and subconscious mental condition relating to the head as a child. This aspect along with the first one (imo) really proves to me that his brother’s kidnapping had a much larger effect on him than he was aware of.

Charlene Gallego

Born in the United States in the year of 1956, Charlene Williams (Gallego is her married name) is known as one half of the Sex Slave Killers of Sacramento, who worked with her husband, Gerald, to hold their victims captive as sex slaves before killing them from 1978 to 1989.

Charlene was a bright and intelligent young child, born into a busy and well-known family, with her father as VP to a chain of supermarkets. Her mother and father would travel frequently for business, but when her mother was severely injured in a car accident, Charlene took her place and her mother’s responsibilities for the business. As a young adult, Charlene took a turn for the worse, starting to drink and use drugs. She was despised at work due to her overtly flirtatious nature and was deemed a nyphomaniac by her peers; she is also rumored to have fantasized frequently about lesbian sex and often pushed her romantic prospects into threesomes with strangers or their own wives.

Charlene had been married twice before meeting Gerald Gallego on September 10, 1977 in Sacramento, California. Within the first week of knowing one another, Charlene moved in with Gerald, and happily acted as the submissive partner in their sadomasochistic relationship. Charlene apparently enjoyed Gerald’s sodomization of her and his preference of rough intercourse. Not soon after this, Gerald brought home their first victim, a 16 year old exotic dancer, who is not named. They proceeded to have a threesome, but the women were only allowed to touch Gerald, and not each other. When Gerald returned home from work later, he discovered that Charlene and the 16 year old has been sexually active without him, and Gerald threw the girl out of the window in a rage and beat Charlene. This incident caused Gerald to completely shut Charlene off from him sexually and he was no longer interested in her as a sexual partner.

Due to this, he told Charlene he would require two sex slaves to satisfy him, and without question Charlene followed his orders. Gerald and Charlene would abduct in pairs with Charlene being the brains and charm while Gerald was the brawn. They held these victims hostage, letting Gerald rape them for countless hours and when he was satisfied, he would shoot them dead after bludgeoning them with either a shovel, hammer, or tire iron. One of their victims was even buried alive after her abduction and assault. Charlene escaped the death penalty due to accepting a plea deal to testify against Gerald and allegedly later told a cell mate how ecstatic these killings made her feel. This contradicts her statements given much later, as she remains constant in her claims the she was also a victim, and attempted to save some of the lives of the young girls. She was released from prison in July of 1997 while Gerald died of cancer on death row in 2002.

source

Modality: Mutable / Earth / Virgo

Planets: Mercury (17%), Saturn (17%), Mars (13%)

Signs: Virgo, Libra, Pisces, Leo (also Scorpio)

Chart Ruler: 6H Leo Uranus (6°) + 9H Sagittarius Saturn (0°)

🔪9H Sagittarius Saturn (0°) square 7H Leo Pluto (29°): This aspect indicates the potential for difficulty in accepting transformation of the mind and of relationships/partnerships. With Saturn at 0° (the purest expression of whatever sign it is placed in) in Leo, there was possibly a strong urge to resist expression and higher knowledge. This aspect can create a great deal of resistance if not handled appropriately; resistance between behavior in romantic/platonic relationships, open enemies, and business partnerships and belief in higher education, philosophy, and higher powers (gods/deities/etc.). She also most definitely had some tumultuous relationships and interactions with others.

🔪8H Libra Sun (17°) square 11H Capricorn Moon (8°): Indicates friction between the needs of the self/ego and the needs of the heart and emotions. It can feel for these individuals as though they are torn between what/who they want to be/what direction to take and how they want to feel/what they should feel. Especially with this energy being yin (Capricorn) and yang (Libra); there was certainly tension here for Gallego. She most likely felt quite perplexed in who she really wanted to be and unfortunately she took the wrong turn; one most would never take. This aspect is the only thing that could slightly make me believe she could be telling the truth in her trying to save some of the girls from their deaths.

🔪11H Capricorn Moon (8°) trine 7H Virgo Venus (5°): This aspect indicates the potential for a very kind, caring, and appealing individual. This energy is even more profound with the aspect being involved with the angular houses. Not only was it smart for Charlene to be the “brains” because she is a woman, but she has the ability to tap into this aspect of herself; where people feel that they can fully trust her. This a wonderful aspect to have, but everything has its cons, and she certainly used it to her advantage in the absolute worst way. This aspect can create a calming influence on others, specifically her relationships and her community, which can make her appear as though she wouldn’t hurt a fly. Having her moon in a scorpio degree added a mysterious effect to her that I’m sure people were drawn to as well.

Charles Sobhraj

Born in Vietnam in the year of 1944, Charles Sobhraj is known as the Bikini Killer, preying upon western tourists visiting his country and brutally taking their lives. His killing spree went on from 1963 to 1976 and spanned across several countries.

Born Hotchand Bhawnani Gurmukh Sobhraj, Sobhraj was born to an Indian Sindhi father and Vietnamese mother. Coming earth side into a region under the power of French colonial territory, he was immediately eligible for French citizenship at birth. His parents were never married and his father denied paternity, so Sobhraj was raised by his mother and French step-father. He felt neglected by his family due to the biological children they eventually had together and began to act out by committing petty crimes as a teenager. He served his first prison sentence in 1963, and it became evident that he had a great way of persuading and manipulating others to get what he wanted, as he was allowed to have books in his cell.

After his release from prison, he became a scam artist and burglar in order to maximize his riches, during which time he met his future wife and mother of his child, Chantal Compagnon. They were frequently on the run from arrest, moving countries to evade the law, while still robbing and scamming citizens of their current residence. All of the profits from their crimes were used to feed Sobhraj’s growing gambling addiction. He lived his life constantly on the run, which explains why his victims span over so much distance from each other. Eventually, Sobhraj left Chantal, due to her growing tired of their criminal ways, and Sobhraj continued his life without her and their daughter, Usha.

Sobhraj would pose as a drug dealer or gem salesmen to attract tourists his way. He actually converted quite a lot of people as accomplices in his deceitful and devious crimes. Many were intentionally poisoned and he would nurse them back to health to gain their loyalty. His method of murder varied and wasn’t quite specific but included drowning, burning, poisoning, and strangulation. His victims were normally found wearing bikinis, hence his title given by authorities, and Sobhraj served many years in prison in India and Nepal for his crimes. Sobhraj enjoyed the infamy his case brought to him and sold the rights to a film based on his life for US$15 million. He was given compassionate release from Nepalese prison on December 23rd, 2022 and is presumed to still be alive.

source

Modality: 4 Cardinal / 4 Fixed / Ambiguous

Planets: Uranus (17%), Sun (12%), + Pluto (11%)

Signs: Leo, Virgo, Cancer, + Gemini

Chart Ruler: 9H Leo Pluto (6°) R + 8H Cancer Mars (4°)

🔪5H Aries Sun (16°) trine 9H Leo Jupiter (17°): This aspect indicates the potential of good fortune and luck for an individual. However it can also indicate a person of a large ego and identity to the point of feeling as though they are invincible as well as only seeing the bigger picture and not noticing the small things. The hubris can be quite great here as Jupiter expands the ego/needs/wants of The Sun. This can also create an individual that can reach a status of wealth at a certain point in their lives and do very well in higher education and long journeys if they pursue them. It is quite clear in Sobhraj’s case that he used this energy to his advantage and was able to capitalize quite largely off of his life story and evade police over several years and countries.

🔪6H Taurus Mercury (4°) square 9H Leo Pluto (6°): This one screams Sobhraj from a mile away. This aspect can create intensity and passion in a persons words and their mind. In his case, it specifically affects his 6H and 9H, opening potential for difficulty in daily life, health, work, higher knowledge, and long journeys. His interactions with others was most likely intensely and intellectually challenging. He has strong thoughts with strong opinions of his own and it is clear that he didn’t let others get in the way of him turning his thoughts into a reality. He also drew up a large amount of criticism from the public due to the way he chose to live his life and make a living. Harsh criticism can be a theme here when one has such strong opinions and ideals.

🔪10H Virgo Moon (22°) square 7H Gemini Saturn (21°): Indicates the potential for friction and restriction with emotions and the ability to form relationships. It seems that Sobhraj was good at making surface level/initial connections with people but certainly not deep ones. This aspect can make someone a loner, one whom keeps their heart close to their chest, and is not keen to easily open up. It can also indicate emotional suffering as a child and a large restriction of emotions as an adult if not properly addressed early on. It is clear that he did not do as such and could be one of the reasons why he felt no empathy toward others and their suffering. He felt neglected during his childhood and seems to have completely cut himself off from his family once he became an adult which definitely hindered his emotional growth.

Christine Malèvre

Born in France in the year of 1970, Christine Malèvre is known for taking at least 30 lives while working as a hospital nurse, having confessed to some murders then recanting; causing speculation of her true intentions.

There is no information on Malèvre’s early life and only on her trial, sentencing, and controversy surrounding her recanted confession. Malèvre faced life in prison for the murder of seven patients from 1997 to 1998, despite being suspected of taking much more than that amount. In France, their laws do not allow euthanasia, even if the patient is terminally ill. Malèvre’s reasoning for the murders were that the patients wanted to die and she was helping them cross over; which she stood by firmly and even wrote a novel about. She received an outpour of sympathy from the public during the initial phase of her trial and she was hailed as the “champion of euthanasia”. Over 5,000 letters were sent to her in support and she was even being supported by the Principal French Association Supporting the Right to Die.

However, when details of her trial were made public, society turned on her. Prosecutors never bought Malèvre’s reasoning and neither did the families of her victims. The families vehemently denied that their relatives ever wanted to die nor would they ever ask her to help them to do so. This caused the public to shift in favor of the victims’ families. Malèvre was also named the “Black Widow” by her colleagues, which prosecution used to their advantage, and told the court that she has a morbid fascination with death and illness; which by killing, satisfies this fascination.

Despite her pleas of innocence and stating that she was under duress when confessing, there was too much evidence against her word. Prosecution used a report provided to them that confirmed her fascination with death and disease- as the report stated that patients were three to four times more likely to die during her shifts as a hospital nurse. Shortly after Malèvre was released on bail, she attempted suicide by taking drugs to avoid prison, but was unsuccessful. She was sentenced to 10 years in prison for the murder of six of the seven patients under her care and was permanently banned from working as a nurse. She is currently living out her days at François Quesnay Hospital in her hometown of Mantes-la-Jolie, France.

source

Modality: Cardinal / Earth / Capricorn

Planets: Sun (12%), Neptune (12%), Venus (11%)

Signs: Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo, + Scorpio (also Aquarius)

Chart Ruler: 9H Aquarius Moon (29°)

🔪 9H Aquarius Moon (29°) square 6H Sagittarius Neptune (0°): This aspect can create the potential for personal bias and living in one’s own fantasy due to confusion of what is real and what isn’t. Neptune can cloud The Moon with expectations that are not realistic. This could be an indicator for Malèvre, as still to this day, she claims that she is innocent and did not mean any harm to her patients or their families. Although, when this energy is not properly handled, these fantasies/emotional needs can become a veil over what is truly reasonable and expected of a person. This can cause friction in her relationships with her co-workers and in her work environment. It is clear she was not willing to pull the wool from her eyes and see the error in her ways.

🔪 7H Capricorn Sun (19°) conjunct 7H Capricorn Venus (16°): This aspect indicates the potential for harmony within the self/ego needs and sex, romantic/platonic relationships, and beauty. The Sun is blessed with the qualities of Venus and can create a very pleasant, charming, and refined individual that seeks comfortable environments. People are often drawn to these natives and their affectionate personality. With this aspect occurring in the 7H of relationships and open enemies, and also an angular house, this energy is certainly amplified. It’s likely that Malèvre was well liked throughout her life and found an ease in forming relationships with others. Malèvre was initially very well liked and believed by others during the first phase of her trial and I’m sure this aspect played a part in it.

🔪 8H Capricorn Mercury (26°) trine 4H Virgo Pluto (27°): Indicates the potential of an intellectual interest in the taboo, macabre, and dark aspects of life. Individuals with this aspect tend to be very skilled and determined in what they choose to do. This aspect can create a very psychological mind that is drawn to subjects and skills that are intellectually challenging. With this aspect interacting with private houses, it makes sense that this energy might not have been immediately felt or noticed by others. Malèvre is rumored to have had a dark fascination with death/disease and this aspect is a clear indicator of that being true. Manifestation of this energy can either reach an extreme level when Pluto is not well contained or can be used to benefit one in deeper communication and intellect.

☥ content warning header by @cafekitsune ☥

[zeebreezin]

hiii its @neathyingenue!! just gonna go ahead and admit i am hazy on some of harb's details. this is an au for beverley yeah? or is it him in the future

Hello my good friend MJ Neathyingenue!! Dw about it I’ve actually been meaning to make a semi-formal summary on him so!

The Scintillating Harbinger is the Sunless Skies AU of Beverley, so yeah technically it’s him in the future (the wonderful year of 1906), but also it’s not the only possibility of him in the futures. Thankfully.

In the Sunless Skies AU, Beverley’s search in London failed due to Shaw’s machinations (and boy howdy did he do some shit). He never found his Dawnlight suitcase bomb - but more importantly, he never found out that B survived the shipwreck they disappeared in. He left London assuming his life’s work and his best friend were both lost to the waves, and threw himself into his work as a means to cope. It helps up until it doesn’t, and then he gets weird about the New Sun to cope.

Fast forward a couple years, and he’s risen through the ranks enough to be working on the Clockwork Sun personally, and rises to the Skies with the rest of the New Sequence. Surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly) leaving his home and the only world he’s ever known Doesn’t help Beverley’s mental health. So he doubles down on his love for the sun - this is when the idea that he’s given up everything for it really becomes mission critical.

And then the Clockwork Sun starts glassing/Dazzling the senior engineers. By the time it’s Bev’s turn he’s kind of a mess. Insert the fic I just wrote here, where he manages to stall out his own death with a combination of blind faith and mastery of the Correspondance, binding bits of metal to his glassy side to make it usable. However this has horrible effects on his sanity and overall health, he’s in constant pain and isn’t even really aware of that fact anymore due to being high on that sunny supply.

In my mind, Beverley’s become to the Logoi as the Clockwork Sun is to a Judgement. He’s just stuck in a (somewhat) human body. Right now at least. That’s part of why everything on his ship is - effectively - bound to live in time with his machinery.

Now with insane levels of… everything, he doubles down into his work of making Judgement Light powered weaponry, a speciality that gets him Victoria’s attention. Bev even starts bending the trapping of Other Judgements to make his weapons of mass destruction like the Icarus looking ass he is. For stellar service during the Winchester War (read: war crimes), he was awarded both the Victoria Cross and a dubious position of importance. Legally he’s a captain (despite having way more functional power) of a research Locomotive, the Deliverance, not a war engine. He just… has permission to test the creations on board on enemies of the empire! That’s all!

He’s also still dying due to the damage to his body, but he doesn’t really care he’s got other things to worry about :)

The actual story of him involves his encounters with Shaw’s son, Everett, who he… really doesn’t like, considering his history with Shaw in this AU.

That’s the TL;DR!

[jamesnord]

Five minutes after meeting up in his hotel lobby we took the elevator down one floor to the parking garage. I’d only met the car's owner once before but was struck once again by the sense of motion and restlessness he exudes, like he isn’t a person you could imagine sleeping. Anyway, I was in town for work, but was sneaking in a ride in the Singer he had just taken delivery of the day before and as we crossed the overly polished floors of the hotel in Beverley Hills the car was tucked into a corner, blocked by a column. There is an electronic hum moments before the engine turns over, a kind of waking up that happens before the explosion of exhaust noise, which bounced around the walls of the parking garage. ⁣ ⁣ So I’m 20 feet underground in Beverly Hills, laughing like an idiot wondering, how the hell do you get in a car that expensive. All the sudden I felt like Edward Scissorhands clumsy and dangerous, and opened the door with the care of a surgeon removing a gallbladder. Finally settled in, I had to wonder if I should have taken my shoes off before sitting down? ⁣ ⁣ After some u-turns and wrong turns we made it onto Mulholland and as the accelerator neared the floor and my heart rate spiked above 150bpm, I wondered if maybe this was the best cure for depression. ⁣ ⁣ We stopped at an overlook to take photos and I couldn’t help but notice that while the engine was cooling down, my heart was still racing. Just looking at the car elicits a reaction, it’s like seeing someone particularly famous, your autonomic nervous system spikes and I had to think that maybe that’s what makes these cars so special, that they are, well, special. Only 75 exist, only 35 will make it to the US and I’ll probably never see one again in my life, but I’ll never forget that drive and my sweating palms and stupid smile and a perfect thing that a group of people made because they wanted to see if they could.

[immediatebreakfast]

The disonance between the cantos of "In which Judgement is passed" and "In Which We Stop at an Inn" is truly fucked when we compare the situation between Constance de Beverley, and lord Marmion side by side.

Judgement is finally given to Constance, and her cellmate like it's a herald from god itself.

Till thus the Abbot’s doom was given, Raising his sightless balls to heaven:— “Sister, let thy sorrows cease; Sinful brother, part in peace!” From that dire dungeon, place of doom, Of execution too, and tomb, Paced forth the judges three,

Part in peace... there is something so dark about telling the people that you are condemning to a possible death to go in peace, or that their sorrows will cease.

Although, I have to ask if in this canto is where Constance gets... put into a wall because of the metaphors used to convey the sheer terror that comes to the unsuspecting people that are not aware of the judgement.

That conclave to the upper day; But, ere they breathed the fresher air, They heard the shriekings of despair, And many a stifled groan: With speed their upward way they take, Such speed as age and fear can make, And crossed themselves for terror’s sake,

Are these shrieks of despair Constance's doing? Because as the canto goes to describe the overall ambiance that surrounded this unsettling moment, the shrieks got duller, and quieter.

Meanwhile this fucked up idea of justice is happening, or happened depending on the timeline, we start the third canto in an inn where lord Marmion and his army are staying for the time being.

No summons calls them to the tower, To spend the hospitable hour. To Scotland’s camp the lord was gone; His cautious dame, in bower alone, Dreaded her castle to unclose, So late, to unknown friends or foes, On through the hamlet as they paced, Before a porch, whose front was graced With bush and flagon trimly placed, Lord Marmion drew his rein: The village inn seemed large, though rude:

Yeah Constance is going to get trapped inside a fucking wall, but look! Lord Marmion found a problem! The poor lord, and his army didn't get the hospitality they wanted because the Dame rightfully didn't want to open her home to a bunch of men she didn't know while her husband was gone.

And now we are in a inn. There is laughter, food, and a very warm reading in what we now as modern readers can associated with what a medieval inn constitutes. And yet, the dread didn't left because the Palmer, once again a theme figure in contrast to Marmion, and his army, acts in a ominous manner.

Resting upon his pilgrim staff, Right opposite the Palmer stood; His thin dark visage seen but half, Half hidden by his hood. Still fixed on Marmion was his look, Which he, who ill such gaze could brook, Strove by a frown to quell; But not for that, though more than once Full met their stern encountering glance, The Palmer’s visage fell.

Even if Constance's revenge is slowly building towards victory, she is still going to end up dead while Marmion enjoys (for now I hope) all of the privilegues of being an emisary to the king. It's literally a methaporical situation of the people serving the elite, Constance escaped with Marmion and dedicated a good chunk of her life to him, and he repaids her with abandoning her to force Clare to marry him.

The power imbalance is unreal, and it will feel so good when Marmion does a single misstep that brings all of his good fortune crashing down. Well, I hope it happens.

[fideidefenswhore]

Margaret [Pole] obviously believed she had the better claim to Canford. However, Margaret's argument did not take account of the fact both Henry VII and Margaret Beaufort had held Canford in their right as Beaufort heirs, before [the attainder of] Edward [the late Earl of Warwick]. While the true heir was St Cross Hospital, the king's title to the manor was better than Margaret's and as such he could give it to whomsoever he wished.

Murphy, Beverley. 2001. Bastard Prince : Henry Viii’s Lost Son.