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doorplays · 2 years ago

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IMMORTALITY (2022) SPOILERY REVIEW

Hello! I have decided that I think I will try and do two (2) reviews for most games I will play. One is a non-spoilery review, and another is a spoilery review that is done after I finish the game! I just think it would be need to share my thoughts about a game without spoiling it for people who don’t want to see spoilers.

In light of that, here's a big bad !!!SPOILER WARNING!!! for you, and only proceed if you are okay with seeing this despite the warning! Please also be mindful of Immortality’s content warnings before reading.

Also: this will be a long article, so hang on to your buttcheeks and let’s talk Immortality!

PREAMBLE

So, Immortality is a game that is more than meets the eye. While the start of it is interesting enough (searching clips, watching the three movies), there is more to it. It is... difficult to talk about these secrets without spoiling the experience, thus I chose to talk about them in this spoiler review! I’m going to talk about the secret clips and how to find them, the overarching metanarrative, and my thoughts on it.

STYLE

You may notice that when you view clips, sometimes you hear a droning sound. If you’re on the controller, you will feel it rumble along with said sound. That’s not a trick of the music, that’s intentional. That’s the game telling you something is off.

When I played this game, everytime I heard this noise on the clip, I would Favorite this clip so it gets filed for future viewing. The game has a separate folder of sorts for Favorited clips. At one clip, I wanted to click on something in the background, but the characters keep blocking it. So I decided to rewind the clip a bit to get a better angle. And lo and behold, I saw echoes of a clip just playing in the background, almost invisible... and I can’t quite access it yet. There was something I didn’t know at this point, but this was a big moment of discovery for me, and definitely flips the game on its head.

Once you discover this, the game goes from discovering what happened to Marissa Marcel, to discovering what the fuck this game actually is! I rewound the previous clips I Favorited and got lore dumps about two new characters that I’ve never seen before, but apparently have a big influence on the plot! There are clips that once you rewind them become much more sinister and scary, and there are clips that tell more of the new characters’ motivations.

I’d say this moment of discovery and what it entails is exactly what makes Immortality what it is. It recontextualizes the previous clips you’ve watched and opens up new questions in the narrative. And what surprises me is that all the clips, the discussions in the three films and the new discussions put forth by the rewound footage, all relate together in such a tight way! It is very well written and well made, and I feel like this is a great feat.

My only concern is how, at times people can access the credits sooner than you’d expect, and that might spoil their experience thinking the game is already finished, even though it is far from that. I feel like there is more refinement to be had to this kind of game, but as it stand it’s still pretty phenomenal.

SUBSTANCE

Okay, so the rewound footage tells a heck of a story and really wraps up the themes the 3 films tell and makes them relate to the tribulations of these two new characters. I want to talk about the overarching meta-narrative, so I will put up my own retelling of it as best as I can understand it. After I write this retelling, I will then discuss what I think of the story, how it affected me, and my own interpretation of it. Let’s get to it!

Story Retelling

The One (she/her) and The Other (he/him) are two immortals that have existed for a long long time. The nature of their immortality is that they are sort of... parasitic. They kill a human and consume their flesh, biting into their neck like a vampire, and once they do this they get to be able to act as them for however long they want. They absorb their memories, with the experiences and traumas of their last years dominating the immortals’ minds. It is hard to truly kill them, as when they experience a death, they end up in a dormant state and awaken sometime later. They have mastery over time, and this allows them to do some things outside of our own perception. It is stated that you can only truly kill them via burning.

At one point, they tried to create the Perfect Story to elevate humanity to their level. This involved The One becoming Jesus, preaching to humanity and in the end getting crucified, rising again, and ascending to heaven (though in reality she never ascended and stayed on Earth). The Perfect Story failed to elevate humanity, however. This made The Other feel disillusioned, but The One just thinks humanity wasn’t ready yet.

Time passes. The One wears different bodies. She found herself awakening from a dormant state at the tail end of World War 2. She stumbles upon a dying Marissa Marcel, having just been violated by soldiers. The One proceeds to consume her and take her form. Marissa’s dying words to The One were “Je veux vivre... pour toujours.”

I want to live forever.

The One lives as Marissa for a time. She gets into acting and modeled for a commercial. She was scouted by director Arthur Fischer for his upcoming film Ambrosio. She was fascinated by the dawn of film as an audiovisual medium. She and others like her perceive reality differently, and movies match this perception. She wanted to learn the art of film making from Arthur Fischer, which was why she let him cast her in Ambrosio.

Ambrosio is an adaptation of a real book called The Monk, by Matthew Gregory Lewis. It is about a monk who is tempted by the devil into selling his soul to him. This was Arthur Fischer’s first film to involve nudity, and it involves a good amount of sex. During shooting, The One as Marissa starts enjoying acting. In particular, she liked seeing the other actors be intimate and saw a certain immortality in that.

She encountered The Other while shooting this film, but they did not really interact much other than staring each other down at some points.

She soon starts a relationship with John Durick, director of photography in Ambrosio. She encourages him to overstep Fischer’s authority, adjusting shots and scenes to be more powerful and modern, and even shooting a sex scene without his knowledge, with Durick saying he’ll go above Fischer and go to Gino for approval. Eventually, shooting for the movie is finished. Durick and The One (as Marissa) decided to shoot a new film named Minsky.

Ambrosio ended up not being released for as-of-yet unknown reasons.

Minsky is about detective Alan Goodman who investigates the titular character’s murder, not expecting that he would fall in love with the suspect. Carl Greenwood, an actor from California, was cast for the role of detective, with Marissa casting herself as the suspect. The One saw in him “an intelligence, something warm and savory about him.” However, this did not last as unbeknownst to everyone but The One, The Other decided to kill him and steal his body.

Where The One is artistic and hopeful for humanity, The Other is despondent and cynical of them ever since they failed to be elevated, thinking of them as “monkeys flinging shit.” The two of them have been at odds about this for a long time, with one of them killing the other at certain points because they want them to actually think about things. Their deaths aren’t actual deaths, being treated as “time to think” before they awaken once more. The One killed The Other at one point, but they awakened in New York, angry at The One for trying to integrate further into humanity. He found the idea perverse, especially since the two of them are now the last of their kind.

Things came to a head when during a scene, The Other threatened to shoot John Durick. The One turned the tables on him and shot him instead, saving Durick and preserving her plans. From the outside perspective however, Marissa Marcel just accidentally killed Carl Greenwood due to what seemed to be a gun prop misfire. This caused the film to be shuttered, never to be finished and seen by the masses.

The One made sure that Carl Greenwood was cremated.

After this incident, The One decided to talk to John Durick about the truth of herself. Who she is, what her goals are, how different she is from humans. John... did not react well to this. At least, he did not react in a way that satisfied The One. She loved him, she wanted to be like him, and yet... why is he reacting this way? She did not think, she just acted: she killed John and took his form. Marissa vanishes from the public eye, and The One begins her life as John Durick.

The One directs many films. She missed The Other, so she thought to direct films that pleased him. They were decent films, though people thought them cold. But throughout all these films, what drove her to make them was her desire to make the case for humanity, to prove that they’re not just monkeys flinging shit.

As she lived her life as John, she found herself taking on a lover, one Amy Archer. She treated her like a muse and a partner. Amy asked little from The One (as John) but her brilliance. She wanted to bring out the best in her. However, as she made more films, The One found that each film was less good than the last.

Arthur Fischer, now a dying old man, went to John Durick’s house bearing a gift: the Ambrosio negatives that he stole. It is not known why he stole them (though it is implied he stole them because he couldn’t bear the humiliation of seeing John go behind his back and override his authority), but here he was bringing it to Durick in an effort to mend bridges. Once he left, The One watched the negatives and was overcome with grief and nostalgia over her time as Marissa, so much so that she managed to bring her form back into the real world. She is now essentially existing as two people: Marissa Marcel and John Durick. Director and Actress.

It was then that she decided to make Two of Everything. It was a film about a pop star and her double, and the struggle of making art. But more than that, it was a film about The One’s story. In her words, Two of Everything was “about everything, but as simple as possible.” It was her most ambitious movie yet, not least because she is currently being two people at the same time. This state of being is causing great stress to The One, and as filming goes on she becomes increasingly erratic.

In the middle of filming, something happened. The Other One reappeared. The One was shocked at this discovery, but he explained himself. After being shot and cremated, it turned out he didn’t die. He was trapped in an “infinity of nothing.” That is, until Amy Archer watched the old Minsky footage and saw Carl Greenwood’s death.

She watched him die on the screen. And he was reborn.

He comes to The One in contrition, regretting how he acted. He wants to help her realize her vision now. The One is still confused, saying that while he is alive he is “not here,” and that “Amy’s still here.” In response, he simply said that yes, Amy’s still here and that this is a different kind of rebirth. He reaffirmed his desire to help.

The Other’s rebirth pointed to a new possibility for The One, who by now is barely hanging on by a thread. She has been pushing herself too hard, and that is causing Marissa’s form to experience nosebleeds and other pains. At one point, both Marissa and John fainted on set. This all culminated in a shoot where she outright hemorrhaged blood from her head. She then talked to The Other, who was acting through Amy Archer. She wanted to die like he did once, so that she may then be reborn.

We now go to this scene, the last scene that was shot chronologically. The lights turn on and we see Marissa sitting down. Amy walks into frame and gently runs her hand through Marissa’s hair. She kisses her on the top of her head. She walks towards the camera, holding up the clapper, on it written a single name: Marissa Marcel. She claps it closed.

Action.

She walks back out, picking up a gas can, and walks back in, showering Marissa with its contents. Walks back out, this time picking up a matchbox. She gets a match and lights it up.

She throws it onto Marissa.

Marissa, now burning, just stares at the camera. She lets the flames consume her, until all that’s left of her is a burnt-down mannequin.

This is the moment of her death.

And we, the players, have just witnessed it.

Story Discussion

I’m not really going to talk deep about some of the themes across the game. The game discusses a lot about the nature of art, the costs of art, its evolution, etc. It addresses female exploitation and male privilege at points, it talks about the dichotomy of Art vs. Law, it also talks of how controlling and exacting some directors can be, to the detriment of the film they are making at some points.

What I want to focus on, however, is The One.

This game is not just about three films. This game is about her. I’d go as far as saying this game IS her. This is her story, her being, distilled into a game.

I don’t think anyone would notice, but when you open the game for the first time, the title screen looks like this. The title here is “Marissa Marcel: An Interactive Restoration of Three Movies. Once you click on “Start” however, the title changes. “IMMORTALITY,” it reads and will read for the rest of your playthrough. And on more than one level, that’s exactly what the game is about. Immortalizing yourself on film. Immortalizing your life, deeds, and thoughts.

The One immortalizing herself. Into us.

You might think this is very sinister, and that The One and The Other are ultimately villains. But I would argue that they are tragic figures, with The One being our Tragic Protagonist.

I want to start by talking about the nature of their species. They are entities that exist just outside our perception, influencing our space by taking on other peoples’ forms. A comparison can be drawn with the director-actor relationship. The One puppets her forms in the same way directors utilize their actors. She consumes her victims, just as directors exploit actors and, moreso, actresses. We can see this happening across Ambrosio, with Fischer’s disgusting language at points and his controlling nature.

This director-actor relationship is referred to as a chain by The One. Fischer wanted to sculpt Marissa. When she entered into a relationship with John, he in turn wanted to make her a star. For the longest time, she has observed this chain, but with John, it was her first time putting herself in it as a participant. I assume she means when she started to include herself in the writing process of Minsky.

In Minsky, The One wanted one of the main characters, Franny, to be more real. The premise of the film revolves around Franny murdering Minsky, the artist who took her as a muse. There is a certain irony to this, with how her immortality works. And there’s even further irony to this, as after she put an end to Minsky’s filming, she ended up murdering her director and lover John Durick.

She loved him in the way that an immortal like herself could love anyone. She treated loving him and being like him the same way. When she told him of her true nature, when she bared herself to him, he did not react the way she expected him to react.

He was scared of her. Who wouldn’t be scared, when faced with a threatening entity we do not fully understand?

So she kills him, like a spurned lover. She becomes him. She continues on and fully integrates herself into the chain, using his form from here on out.

She continues on, not addressing her pain, her own trauma that lived in Marissa and now lives in her, her trauma over killing the only other immortal of her kind. She continues on the only way she knows how: making movies.

She directs movies that try and make the case for humanity. She is so enamored with them, to the point that she thought herself as one of them, blind to the privilege that she has. She continues the chain, even taking on her muse as a lover. But one day, a discovery: The Other is alive! She is baffled, but she finds that this is a new form of immortality, an evolution from the previous one. And so, with her dying, she pursues it through this game. She hatches a plan with The Other to have herself burned and have us witness.

Now, I think the popular interpretation of this game will be that The One used this game to possess us. But I think there’s more to this.

In one scene, The Other explains his own rebirth. The One observes that he isn’t here, that he isn’t directly influencing the world through their previous means. She further observes that Amy Archer, the woman The Other is speaking through, is still “here”. While on one level, this explains the uniqueness of The Other’s rebirth, I think this also puts forth the possibility that this kind of immortality does not have to harm anyone now.

Amy Archer is still here. Amy is still alive.

And when The One seeks immortality through our witnessing of her death, I choose to believe that she does not possess us. I think what they’ve discovered is indeed a way to continue where no one has to die. No more exploitation. No more suffering.

She breaks the chain.

Immortality discusses many points about art, but I think chief among these points is the cost of making art. But why do we have to pay these costs? Why do we choose to pay and demand these costs in the name of art? We should strive for a way to make art that eliminates harm and suffering, and I think this is the point that Immortality is trying to make. We do not have to participate in the chain if it causes us suffering.

In The One’s death, she elevates herself to a new kind of existence, a reversal of The Great Story. Where once she died for our sins, here she dies for hers. She rises again and ascends, becoming more. She breaks the chain, paving the way for new possibilities.

Vous vivrez en moi, she says to a dying Marissa as she takes her form. You will live in me. And now, she will live in us.

ENDING THOUGHTS

My interpretation of the game is just that, an interpretation. You could read the game as The One continuing the chain in service of her own continuation. You could read it as her being a sinister entity. But I choose to interpret this game as The One choosing kindness. She could have continued her existence by feeding on others, but she chose not to. Only when this form of immortality presented itself that she rolled the dice.

There is one last scene I want to discuss. in one rewound scene, we see The One lipsyncing to Candy Says. This is the best distillation of her character. She hates herself and how her immortality works. She wants to understand humanity and its joys. She wants to see what life holds if only she can step outside herself and her own realities. She experiences the emotive power of art as she sings along to a song that completely resonates with her own life.

For all her menace, she is just someone who wants to understand and be understood. And to this end she made this game, presenting herself, her life, for others to watch and experience. In this act of nakedness and vulnerability, she is reborn and made immortal once more.

I very much enjoyed this game. It is definitely more of an art house, avant-garde kind of thing, but I’m hoping that more people would try it out!

#door reviews #immortality #immortality game #immortality spoilers #half mermaid productions #sam barlow #spoiler review

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flowerandblood · 1 year ago

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Genuine question from someone struggling with writing at the moment but when you come up with a new story and it's premises, how do you organize your thoughts? Your stories are always so well thought out and have their own hidden meanings and in depth dive of the characters as if you are writing them on people you know, my question is, how do you organize how and when you will write that out?

Oh my god, okay, I'll warn you that I'm very chaotic when it comes to my writing style. I usually start by having a theme, a starting point - and let's assume, in my last story the female character is the younger sister of Aemond's friend. I had to figure out who Aemond would be here, what her or his internal conflict would be, or what the situation would be that would bring them closer together.

And I came up with an idea, oh, what if he worked as a sexworker? But suddenly he really fell in love with a girl who is not interested in such things at all? And here comes something I can work with, internal conflict, his thoughts, regret, shame, the desire to be worthy of someone. On the other hand, we have a heroine who also falls in love, tries to be supportive, but also knows herself enough to know that their expectations may not meet.

And here comes the most important thing for me, i.e. the credibility of the story and the dialogues. Nothing takes me out of a story more than dialogue that is completely out of character and as if it were pasted in from any other person. The point is that each character should have its own characteristics. If you decide to make your character charming, don't make her a stupid idiot, let her charm result from her care and unawareness, let her simply be innocent and inexperienced, uncertain and joyful.

Often when I think about my female character I think to myself "if my husband said that to me, how would I feel?" or I think "no, Aemond couldn't say that to her, if my husband said that to me/did that to me, I would kill him or I couldn't be with him because I wouldn't forgive him." Of course, it's not like my heroine is supposed to be me now, I wrote about many women who did or said things that I wouldn't say or do, but sometimes when I have doubts whether a dialogue makes sense, I analyze it this way.

Recently, I changed almost the entire chapter (even though I had written the next ones, fortunately it didn't affect the rest of the plot much) because I felt that Aemond's behavior was inappropriately aggressive to the situation, that if he knew that the heroine felt this way (and he did) he wouldn't do that if he really cared about her (in this universe). Only when I changed it and read it again did I feel that it clicked, that it fit, that it would look like this.

So my job in writing is primarily to ensure that the vocabulary is rich, to describe well what is happening, but not to do it in long paragraphs. Describing what the table looks like in 3 long sentences is, in my opinion, unnecessary - although some people like to do it that way. I always divide my paragraphs into shorter parts, I give more light to make it read better.

And it involves constantly analyzing the credibility of what is happening in relation to the fact that we imagine that these are real people with real problems, not cartoon characters. When I read fanfics where there is a girl who has never before had any dominant, hardcore stuff and loves everything immediately, it immediately comes to my mind - okay, it's soft porn, but it's very far-reaching.

It's not that easy in the real life, real people don't work like that - real people are afraid of the unknown, they are insecure, they need the awareness that they're not in danger for them to relax.

I could write more, but this is already an extremely long answer, I don't know, if you have more specific questions, you can ask further, I will be happy to answer you as best as I can, thank you for your kind words!

#answered #just writing things

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writingmyanxietyaway · 4 years ago

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Teasing Master | Berlin

Requested by @diorrfairy: hi! i'd like to ask an imagine/one shot on berlin × reader in which y/n is a young girl in her early twenties who's part of the gang and even though of their age gap she has a "secret relationship" going on with berlin (sexual tension, flirting and teasing). the plot and the rest is up to you. thanksss

Word count: 2.1k

Warning: teasing, flirting, sexual tension, swearing smut, daddy kink, dirty talk? idk it’s horny, that’s basically it

Note: hi, all! this is by far the most filthy smut i’ve every written.. I’ve shocked myself. oh and Berlin won’t die in this one, you’re welcome. hope you like it! x

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Being the youngest in the group was definitely interesting, but they all saw you as a very capable young woman, which you were very thankful for. You were two years younger than Rio, making you just a little over 21 years old. You were basically an open book and didn’t care if everyone knew everything about you, but you had one secret. And that secret wasn’t a what, it was a who. And that who was part of your group. Even better, he was the man in charge, Berlin.

You always had a thing for older men - you attracted them too. You looked and acted a lot older than you actually were so when the group found out you were younger than Rio, they were quite surprised. With a man like Berlin, you couldn’t help yourself. With his deep voice, intimidating smirk and smooth flirting you fell for him. Hard.

‘Where do you think you’re going, princess?’

‘Taking a walk. Why?’

He moved closer to you, placing a hand on your chin. He knew what effect he had on you and you hated that. You melted at his touch and were basically willing to do everything he asked you to. He stepped closer to you, making you step back and eventually back against the wall.

‘I missed you today, darling girl,’ he whispered, hot breath on your lips. Your eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips. He had you under his complete control. You shuddered and a smirk made its way on his lips.

‘Did I ever tell you how much I love the way your body responds to me? Such a good girl for me,’ he whispered.

‘S-stop teasing,’ you groaned. His smirk got even bigger.

‘And what fun would that be princess?’

A noise came from the hallway and you broke apart. The thumping in your chest continued as he gave you a wink and then disappeared. Exhaling loudly, you placed a hand on your chest.

‘You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost..’ Rio asked. You cleared your throat, giving him a smile.

‘Yeah, fine. Just a little hot is all.’

‘Someone know where Berlin is? That bastard took my food... again,’ you groaned. Most of them shook their heads, but Moskú pointed to ‘his office’. Thanking him, you got up and knocked on the door. Usually, you waited until someone replied on the other side of the wooden door, but you were out of patience. It was the third time already that he’d taken your food and you were hangry.

‘Again? Really? Can’t you get your own damn food?’ you exclaimed, putting your hands on your hips. ‘Hello?’

You glanced around the room, but he was no where to be seen. You even checked the en suite bathroom. The door slammed shut and you jumped, quickly turning around. The man you’d been looking for held his hand firmly against the door, making it impossible for you to leave.

‘Bastard, huh? You think it’s okay to call me that?’ he spoke lowly. You swallowed thickly. My god was this man a sex magnet. ‘You know what happens when you call me that, princess?’

‘N-no.’

‘You get punished, sweetheart,’ he all too calmly said. Your heart beat so loudly you were sure he could hear it. The sound of hot and hard breathing filled the room and the walls started closing in on you. The door lock clicked and Berlin turned his attention on you again.

‘Now, what do we do when we say a bad word?’ he demanded, stepping towards you. His gaze kept you in some sort of trance. The way he slowly approached you without saying a word was somewhat enchanting. His body towered over yours and he placed a hand on the wall, next to your head. ‘Hm? I can’t hear you, princess?’

‘S-sorry?’ you whimpered. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. Subconciously, you bit your lip and his eyes darkened. His lips parted. Now you had him under your control. Moving your head towards his, you whispered seductively in his ear, ‘..daddy.’

That was all it took for him to finally stop teasing. Moaning lowly, he moved his hand from your waist to your throat and squeezed lightly. It was something you loved about him. No matter how angry, horny or frustrated he was, he always made sure not to hurt you. He was such a caring man deep down, he just had different ways of showing it.

You gasped and tilted your head backwards, placing a hand on his. He leaned in and kissed you painfully slowly. His lips were soft and full, and tasted like expensive whiskey. You moaned lowly, making him smirk into the kiss. You tried pulling him closer, moving your knee over his crotch but he pulled back, biting your lip softly. His eyes trailed all over your body, until they met yours. You looked absolutely beautiful.

‘You’re stunning, my darling. You take me by suprise every time I see you,’ he whispered. He curled a little piece of hair around his finger and tucked it behind your ear. Your face heated up and you tried to hide yourself by looking down, but he placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head.

‘Don’t be shy. I mean it. You’re perfect. Every inch of your body. Please be mine?’ The hand he had around your throat moved to your cheek and you leaned into his touch. You copied his actions and stood on your tippy toes to kiss him. It was sweet, like the first kiss you had shared a while ago.

‘Then make me yours, handsome. Please,’ you whispered against his lips. He fully wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up around his waist. The kiss turned more passionate as he unlocked the door of the bathroom. He placed you on the couch that was seated in the corner of the office and his hands roamed freely over your body. You moaned softly which made Berling growl.

‘The power you hold over me is excruciating, woman,’ he mumbled. He unzipped your suit, exposing your bra. For the occasion you had worn your red lacy underwear. You felt him twitch between your legs and he moved his lips from yours down your neck, to your breasts. Massaging them gently, you buckled up and bit your lip. He pulled down the cups of your bra and sucked the skin just above your breasts while he circled his thumbs over your nipples.

‘Fuck..’ you whispered, ‘feels so good.’ Your hands pulled his hair and you could feel him smile against your skin. His cold hands against your sweaty skin were almost electrifying. You felt a knot in your stomach and you moaned. ‘Gonna come, daddy.’

He stopped his movements, making you slap his arm. ‘What the fuck?’

‘Wanna see your beautiful face when I make you cum,’ he said, hoisting you on his lap, pulling your suit down in the process and leaving you with exposed breasts and your lacy underwear. His eyes trailed over your body and finally met your gaze. ‘So fucking beautiful.’

He rested his hands on your waist and you placed yours on his chest. You slowly unzipped his suit, just like he did with yours. He cleared his throat, ‘A little faster, princess.’

‘Nuh-uh, what fun would that be?’ you said, quoting his words from earlier. He groaned and leaned back against the couch. He looked so hot. He had his eyes closed, small smirk laying on his lips. He was surrendering to your touch and you loved every second of it. You leaned in and kissed his lips, working your way to his jaw, under his earlobe and down his neck to his chest. Hands were caressing your waist while you stripped him from his suit. You dragged your nails down his chest, to the waistband of his boxers. He was as hard as a rock and clenched your legs together.

‘Do you keep your gun down here or are you just excited to see me?’ you seductively asked. He raised his head from the couch and saw you biting your lip while holding one of your breasts in your hand, toying with your nipple. He moaned at the sight of you and his cock twitched under you, making you moan a little.

‘If you keep teasing me like that I won’t last a lot longer,’ he groaned, digging his fingers in your hips. ‘Daddy needs to feel you.’

You pulled his waistband down, his member slapping against his stomach. You’d never actually had sex with him before, so to say you were drooling over his length was an understatement. ‘Impressed, darling?’ he winked. You didn’t answer, you just took him in your hand and gave it a few pumps. You spat on his cock, making sure to drool a little on your chest. He sharply inhaled, taking you all in.

‘Such a messy girl. You’re really a slut for Daddy, aren’t you?’ he spoke lowly. You nodded, lips slightly opened and moans slipping through. When you felt him twitch again, you stroked your thumb over his tip and slid aside your panties. You moved the tip over your soaked pussy and lowered yourself on to him.

‘So fucking wet,’ he hissed.

Feeling him so deep inside you made you let out an outstretched moan, burying your face in his neck.

‘Fuck,’ you whispered, ‘so fucking full.’

‘Are you okay, princess?’ he whispered back, wrapping his arms around your waist. You nodded in his neck, sucking a little on his earlobe.

‘Fuck me, daddy.’

You didn’t have to tell the man twice. His hands lowered to your ass and thighs, lifting you up and down. The feeling of him pumping in and out of you was something you’d wanted since the day you saw him. And fucking hell was it worth all of the teasing. You were a moaning mess and pushed yourself away from his neck, laying your hands on his chest as you rode his cock. The way your tits moved up and down made Berlin slam himself into you. You gasped as his cock touched your g-spot. You leaned in and kissed him passionately as one of your hands moved down to your pussy. You rubbed your clit quickly as you felt yourself getting close.

‘I-I’m gonna,’ you choked, ‘gonna cum.’

He gripped your thighs even harder as he felt himself getting closer too. Seeing you as this moaning mess, tits swinging around while rubbing your clit was something he’d never even seen in a porno.

‘Such a good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? Huh? Riding Daddy’s cock like the little slut you are. Rubbing your tight little cunt while your tits swing in Daddy’s face. Does that make your pussy wet?’ he whispered huskily in your ear. It was the last little push you needed to send you right over the edge. Your mouth formed a big o as you felt the orgasm rush through your body. Your whole body shook as your pussy clenched and you felt him unload his cock inside you. You were breathing heavily, your head resting on his chest. He let you ride out your orgasm as he slowly swirled your hips around his cock.

‘That was amazing,’ he croaked, ‘best sex I’ve ever had.’

You giggled and he turned his head, your infactious laugh making him smile. He moved you a little, his cock still buried inside you. You clenched your eyes shut, a little sore from the intense orgasm you just had.

‘Definitely,’ you smiled. You kissed him deeply. It wasn’t a sexual kiss, but one filled with love and adoration.

‘I think I need a nap now,’ you whispered. He nodded and lifted you off his lap, making you whine a little of the now empty feeling inside you. He laid you down on the couch, pulling his underwear over his hips and getting you a blanket. You saw him move around, grabbing everything he could find so you’d be comfortable. The gesture made you smile.

‘Berlin?’ you asked. He stopped his movements and turned around. He saw your outstretched hand and sat down next to you.

‘Yes, princess?’

‘When we get out of here, will you come with me?’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘Is this you asking me out on a date?’ he smirked. You blushed furiously, hiding your face in the blanket. You heard him chuckle and pull the blanket away from your face.

‘I’d love to. I don’t care where I’ll go, as long as I’m with you.’

.. .. .. .. ..

Berlin Taglist

@nkjktk - @michaellangdonenthusiast - @hamiltonsofcrap - @pinkrapunzel

#la casa de papel #lcdp imagine #berlin x reader #berlin imagine #pedro alonso #lcdp x reader #lcdp

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midnightmoonkiss · 4 years ago

Note

now you got me THINKING:

reader picking the lock to her holding cell for the hell of it, wandering the deck at night and catching deku muttering to himself, compass in one hand, tugging at his lips with the other, to which she helps him using scraps of knowledge she picked up from her snob of a father, learning her father was the the reason for a few of his scars in past battles, tracing them gently and explaining how she hates her life and blah blah bLha my brain rot is REALL

YESS OMFG???? HOLD ON I GOTTA.. GOTTA WRITE THIS..

Kidnapped By A Pirate (Cont.)

Pirate Deku X Fem! Reader

This basically is a continuation of this short fic, only going further into the early-on relationship between Captain Midoriya and you, (Y/N).

Category: fluff I guess?

Word Count: 2.3k

Just To Clarify:

This is a continuation

“You know,” His mellifluous voice startled you, “It’s awfully rude to stare.”

The sentence sliced through the silence of the night like the sharp sword resting upon his jutting hip.

The sea was calm and the moon was full, not a cloud in the sky. Stars shimmered brightly above, milky way weaving through each dot of light.

And here you stood, on a pirate ship.

Gathering your bearings, you inhale sharply through your nose, the salty scent of the sea nearly making you gag,

“It’s awfully rude to kidnap someone and throw them into a dirty old cell with no food or water as well.”

His hearty chuckle made you gulp, the tickling of butterflies has no place in your stomach. Not now. Preferably not ever with him, but most pirates did have this.. salacious charm to them.

“Very true…” He sighed, “Forgive me.”

The fact that you were having this conversation with his back infuriated you.

He didn’t care enough about your escape from your cell in the dead of night, when all his crewmen were asleep, to even pay you full attention.

It was as if he viewed you as the least frightening and threatless thing on this vessel, a harmless, stowaway mouse.

Swallowing the lump of logical fear lodged in your parched throat, you strung together all the courage you had on you with a flimsy string and strode over to him, hands fisting the fabric of your dress.

The pirate was leaning against the railing of his ship, staring down at a dirty compass resting in the palm of his large hand, lip pulled between his thumb and index finger and he studied the spinning of the needle trapped behind cracked glass.

His features from behind became clearer with every cautious step you took, messy green curls pulled into a ponytail, few strings of loose hair framing his chiseled face. He was practically glowing in the light of the moon that shone in front of him. Beautifully dangerous, like a barracuda.

“It’s broken.” You pointed out to him, the captain who wasn’t wearing a hat, an air of finality in your tone.

If he was plotting a course by a broken compass..

You were royally fucked.

You’d be lost at sea.

Would you ever see land again?

The nauseating rocking of the ship had you almost on your knees, praying. As the days went by, your sea legs grew, but you still weren’t used to it. You didn’t want to be used to it.

“It's only broken to those who don’t understand it,” He teased, sparing you a glance before returning his gaze down to the old piece of junk.

He didn’t seem to want to bother with taking you back down to your own personal hell, yet.

That was good enough for you.

You came up here for air, after all.

It was suffocating below deck.. The stench of mildew having made you sick.

Who knew you took fresh air for granted? Even if it was salty.

At least you could see the open sea and how the moon reflected on the murky water. It was enchanting, something out of a romance novel, but you wished you saw it under better circumstances.

Something about being on a piece of wood out where land was nowhere in sight and the bottom of the ocean was so far out of reach you couldn't even imagine it unnerved you.

You never understood seamen, or pirates, even.

They did this stuff for fun.

At least seamen did it as a way to make income.

The click of his tongue brought your attention back to the freckled man, murmurs under his breath only just now reaching your ears.

Directions and landmarks, sea terminology, things you didn't understand slipped past his chapped lips.. Until something you did know was uttered.

“You’re sailing for the port of Baringham? The low-profile port? That only deals with textiles?”

“Many questions for an answer you already know,” he quipped, “I’m taking you there.”

“How are you going to take me to a place where you cannot even plot a course to?”

Huffing, he finally turned his head to you, amusement written on his face along with a charming smile that would’ve made anyone swoon,

“Alright, you’ve got me.”

Pushing himself up with his cloth covered forearms, he moved to lean with his back against the rail, crossing his arms as he gave you a sliver of respect with direct eye contact.

You briefly considered pushing him over.

“I’m a bit lost.”

“Ah, so you admit it.”

Humming, you mimicked his action, crossing your arms under your chest.

“Fortunately for you, I happen to know where it is.”

“That so?” He mused, leaning toward you ever so slightly, panicked interest cracking through his calm, forest green eyes that you couldn't help but notice twinkle, “Care to tell me?”

“Mmm. I would… but what’s in it for me?”

“What is it that you want? Isn't your guaranteed freedom at said port enough?”

“No.”

“..” The captain was shocked into silence, clear amusement still written all over his face.

Combing his dirty fingers through his messy green locks, he gave you an inquisitive stare,

“Then what else?”

You thought for a moment. What else did you want?

You wanted many things, things of which he could not grant. No one could.

You’d have to settle for something else.

Something you would prefer.. suddenly, the sickness you felt when you were in that gross cell came to mind.

“Don’t put me back in that damned cell!” The shout bubbled up from nowhere, shocking even you, “And.. and water. I want water.” You mumbled out.

Silence settled into the night once more after your loud declaration.

Your face burned with pure embarrassment as he became the one to stare at you..

Until he started laughing.

The kind of boisterous and infectious laughter that forced you to look away from his regrettably handsome self.

“You have yourself a deal, princess!”

The title further made your cheeks burn, drawing your attention back to him just to meet his enchanting gaze.

It draws you in like a sailor to a mermaid.

“Now, mind telling me?”

Licking your lips, you pointed to the heavens, his eyes following, “Travel so the brightest star in the sky is behind you, and follow the little dipper. The port is due north from there.”

It was a route you didn’t mean to memorize years ago.

The loud snap of the compass being closed made you jump, composure temporarily lost yet again.

“Ahh..” His gaze flickered over the sky, no doubt seeing a plethora of routes with each familiar constellation as he mapped the one you spoke of.

“I see it now, silly me.”

Looking down at the deck, he rubbed the back of his sweaty neck, messing with the curly hair that fell loose. Would you be so bold as to think that he may be embarrassed?

He clapped a hand on your shoulder after pushing himself fully off the rail, the whisper of thanks fanning hotly across your ear as he climbed the creaking stairs to the helm, brown boots clicking on each step as he did so.

Spinning the wheel round, the ship croaked as it turned so that the north star fell behind.

“How did you know this course?”

His curiosity was natural. After all, how did you, daughter of a well-off navy general who had never stepped aboard a boat before, know the way to a port not many knew of?

The answer was simple, though it was an answer you didn't exactly wish to know. Cursed with knowledge as you would say, blessed would say the others.

“My father.” Bitterness stung your words, and Izuku whistled.

“Slimy piece of shit he is.” It was grumbled under your breath, and yet he still somehow heard you, offering a grunt of agreement, eyes focused ahead.

“I hate the bastard myself,” he seethed through his teeth, “I’d offer up all the rum and shillings I have to see his blood spill and stain my deck by my own hands.”

The fury that clung to each word he spoke sent shivers down your spine, his aura threatening as he fell to his thoughts.

“I have an obvious reason to hate him,”

“You do?”

Your childlike curiosity warmed his heart, bringing his attention back to you,

“You don’t get scars from nowhere, love.”

Your nose crinkled at the term of endearment, climbing the stairs yourself as you rolled your eyes.

“Your scars are hidden,”

“His scars mark my back.”

Blood drained from your face, bile creeping up your throat at the meaning.

You felt sick and disgusted with the blood that ran through your veins.

You hated being the daughter of a monster.

“Oh..” The whisper caught on the wind pulling at the sails.

Silence fell once more, the unbearable kind that made even his skin crawl with uncomfortableness.

Had the crew been awake, he probably would have laughed, grabbed a bottle of rum, and stumbled into his captains quarters to drink the memories away.. But his crew was asleep.

Oh, how he missed his first mate. He was the whole reason you were on his ship in the first place.

“Just your back?”

“Do you wish he gave me more?” Izuku chuckled, teasing you once again.

“No.” You huffed, furious he would even suggest such a thing.

“I have a few.. Mainly on my hand but I-”

His words died on his tongue, heart beating in his ears when he felt your much smaller and daintier hands grip his own, the only one covered in white scars.

He gulped as you traced the smooth cicatrix on his rough skin, a small blush on his cheeks, your touch soothing the pain behind each one.

Tears not his own fell onto his skin, rolling off and spattering onto the deck below, but he remained silent, allowing you to trace the scars over his forearm, not specifying which were and which were not created by your father.

He liked your touch.

“I hate him too.” Your words were raw with hatred, touch fading as you pulled away and yet he still felt the tingle of it under his skin.

He wanted more. He hadnt felt such gentleness in so long..

That doesn’t matter, though.

“Why?” He found himself asking.

Lips pressing into a frown, he watched the sea as you mindlessly walked around behind him, stories spilling past your fervent lips, stories that made silent anger bubble in his gut, stories that you had never told anyone before - that you were forced to keep inside yourself for so long that they spilled out without care.

His desire to burn that man's ship down, to watch as the bright flames engulf him and it, destined to forever be lost at the bottom of the sea, grew tenfold.

Deku, the infamous pirate, prided himself on not giving a shit half the time, but he couldn’t ignore the empathy he felt in the moment.

You both had a common enemy.

Two strangers.. Where’s the irony in that?

“I don't like you,” You started after finishing up your uncontrollable word vomit, stopping in your tracks, “But the fact that I find this kidnapping to be the most enjoyable days of my life because I’m away from him and all the power he possesses is concerning.”

Why you told this to an untrustworthy, murdering thief.. You had no idea.

Perhaps it was because you had a feeling he would understand after hearing you out.

Or maybe it was the fact that he was currently the only person you could say it to.

After kidnapping you, all he had said to you was ‘welcome aboard!’ before locking the cell you just escaped from days later.

You should hate him, you should wish him to hang like every other disgusting pirate out there, especially for snatching you from your home in the dead of night, transferring you from one cell to the next, but you don't.

You wouldn’t show that, though.

Many words weighed heavy in Izukus mind, words he was unsure if he could say, or if it’d be the right thing to say.

He wasn’t heartless like some assumed, he wasn’t this traitorous asshole stories floating around about him told, he was just a pirate with a kind heart and skilled hands.

He almost felt bad that he planned to give you back to your father.

He felt bad that for that first day you were aboard his ship, he had wicked ideas of marking and ruining you in so many ways your father would only ever look at you and see him.

It was a cruel way to get revenge, revenge through someone else.

Actually, maybe he was an asshole.

Right then and there, he decided that that would no longer be his course of action, not if he could help it.

Hell, he wanted to keep you as far away from your father as he could. Would he abandon his first mate? No. He’d devise some other plan. Maybe get you somewhere safe, ask for your dress, and then cover a scarecrow in said dress and use that as a tool to get him back.

It could work!

Or maybe not.

Nonetheless, plan A through D were just thrown overboard,

“Well,” He smacked the wooden wheel to get your attention,

“You’re a pretty little thing, so I like you.”

You scoffed, he continued,

“Consider yourself prisoner to your fathers enemy for a long time to come, because darlin’,”

He drawled, sauntering over to you as you instinctively backed up, only to be trapped against the railing.

His muscular arms caged you in, taller frame towering over you as electrifying green eyes intoxicated your soul and sent heat flashes up your body,

“I’m not gonna let you go so easily.”

#pirate deku x reader #pirate deku #deku x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #deku x your #bnha #mha #mha x you #mha x reader #bnha x you #deku bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #pirate au

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starfire-s · 4 years ago

Text

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride!

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

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starilicious · 3 years ago

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der lagi lekin (hunter x force-user!gn! reader + ep. 8 fix-it)

》 summary: tbb episode 8 fix-it featuring a force-user reader who used to be a jedi. reader is a part of tbb and in a relationship with hunter, but the squad–nor hunter–knows that reader is a force-user. (disclaimer: all of this was written before episode 9 was released! see a/n for an explanation ^_^) (another disclaimer: if you want just the hunter x reader comfort, please let me know and i'll finish it up and post it!)

》 word count: ~8k (yeah, it's a lot LOL)

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: in-universe swearing, mental breakdown, some slight sensory overloads, pretty mild panic attack, light canon-typical violence, angst + some comfort, survivor's guilt from surviving order 66, no use of y/n, slightly plot heavy because i got way too carried away in writing (whoops?) [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: major ones for tbb episode 8 "reunion"

》 a/n: okay look, i gotta confess: this wasn’t supposed to be an episode 8 fix-it. really. i’m actually glad cad bane won because we get to see that the clones don’t always win every fight... i think it makes for a better and more complex story. anyway, i started out writing just reader and hunter comfort after episode 8 ended. but i’m weak for omega because she reminds me so much of my younger siblings and i ended up writing a wholeass fix-it to save her (even tho cad bane is a downright badass). i kind of liked what i did with building up the plot so much that i might continue this story of force-user!reader with tbb. but that’s a tangent we can deal with later. if you would like a part two with the hunter x reader comfort this was originally intended to be, let me know!

as i said in the summary, i wrote all of this before episode 9 came out–just be aware of that. because it’s so long, it took me a while to edit, which is why i’m posting after ep. 9 was released. but without further ado, i hope you like it! <33

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "der lagi lekin" from the film zindagi na milegi dobara. i linked the song in blue and linked the english translations in green in case you're curious! it's not necessary to listen or understand the song, but i thought it went well with the fic :)

“Everybody get down!” Wrecker yells. You and the squad immediately do as he instructs, diving towards the ground and covering your head. Stars, I hope this works.

The charges the six of you placed around the gigantic cone that surrounds the core cylinder explodes in a deafening blast. You curl into the tightest ball you can manage, breathing so hard that the HUD inside your helmet temporarily fogs up. Metal shards of the explosion rain down on you hard.

For a moment, it seems like nothing happened. But then you hear the telltale, ear-grinding creak of the durasteel and the squad is roughly catapulted forward from the force of the cone beginning to fall down.

You struggle to stand up as you lurch this way and that, trying to regain your balance and stabilize as Tech calls out, “Hold on!”

You quickly glance at the rest of the Bad Batch, trying to see if any of them were hurt. Other than the absolutely terrified look on Omega’s face, all is well considering the circumstances. The metal groans and begins its descent, taking your feeling of being grounded with it. The weightlessness is uncomfortably familiar to say the least, but you ignore it as the six of you scramble to hold on to the side of the cone. You certainly did your fair share of acrobatics back in the war, but feeling it hum around you...it’s too much. It’s too much. You elect to push it back into the depths of your brain. But it doesn’t leave.

It never really does.

Omega’s anxious whimpers come in faintly through your thick helmet and you whip around, frantically trying to find where she is. But before you can find her, the cone lands vertically on its head and the force is so violent that your stable hold on the durasteel is broken. Panicked, you quickly fire a grappling hook towards the ledge where you were previously hanging on. The hook catches and you stop abruptly, the jerky movement almost wrenching your arm out of its socket.

You look down to see Omega falling from someone’s grip and into Hunter’s arms. You can barely tell where anyone is thanks to the lack of light and the incessant motion.

The cone begins to topple onto its side and suddenly, your wire snaps from the tension. You let out a scream of surprise as you plummet downwards, wind rushing past your helmet. ForceIdon’twanttodieohmyMakerohno–

But you never hit the ground, instead being flung sideways as the cone tears into two. On trained instinct, you tuck yourself into a ball to try and roll in order to break your fall instead of using it. That time is long gone.

You land with a sickening thud and hiss in pain as your back hits the metal hard. You hear something crack, but whether it is your armor or something internal, you have absolutely no idea, and don’t have time to check before you black out.

✧✦✧

You jolt awake, a sound making its way into your consciousness. Finally, the damn place stopped moving. You take a few minutes to try and relieve the painful pressure in your chest, reaching up to rip your helmet off because you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe.

You tilt your head back as you struggle to take in air and let the adrenaline subside. You hear voices in the distance and you strain your ears to pick up on the sound as you quickly check yourself over. As far as you can tell, nothing major is broken, and at this point, that is all that matters. Though, your head is pounding, and for more reasons than one

“–nter.. port side... what… status?”

You can’t tell who is speaking, the message too far away for you to hear. But the bits and pieces are enough for you to know that it’s someone from the Bad Batch and that you weren’t unconscious for long. You stand up and dust yourself off before slowly walking to where you believe the origin of the sound is.

“–engine… got company.” A blaster sound and then an explosion rings through the quiet.

Your eyes widen and you quickly pick up the pace, getting your blaster ready as you pick your way through the sharp metal that is jutting out from the ground.

You click on your wrist comm. “Echo, you there?” A faint crackle before his voice comes through, but the signal is scratchy. You frown in frustration.

“–are you? Hunter is... port side,” Echo says and you smack your commlink to try and get the electronics to work, but it’s no use. The device is broken, most likely from the fall, you deduce.

“Meet… Marauder.”

You don’t bother to answer, knowing Echo would probably not even be able to hear what you had to say anyway. Without a signal booster or repeater, there’s no way you can get your transmission across the channel frequency.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually find the night sky of Bracca blinking down at you at the end of the ripped off cone. You run out to find that you’re in the middle of where the cone broke in half. Okay, new plan. I need to find Hunter. Hunter will know what to do.

You scan your surroundings. The HUD isn’t picking up on any lifeforms near you, and you realize with sinking dread that you have no more options. Whichever piece you climbed through to get to your squadmates, it would take too long for you to search for them since you don’t know their coordinates and your comm isn’t working. Frankly, the Empire–Crosshair–would find you first. You have to use it.

You have to use the Force.

A wave of nausea overcomes you at the mere thought of it and you sway. In an attempt to ground yourself, you tear off your helmet to breathe some fresh air and end up keeling over as the bile rises in your throat. Nothing comes out. You can’t tell if that’s a positive or not.

You could have saved them. Someone. Anyone.

It itches at you in the back of your head, wishing to be let out of its cage. But you can’t. You can’t do it. What’s the use anyway? All you would be doing is saving yourself. The choice of surviving it all has haunted you ever since. Your head pounds in agony.

You saw it happen. You could have helped them. And you ran like a coward. Only ever concerned about yourself.

You inhale sharply as the scene flashes before your eyes, clones shooting at you and the other Jedi. The blaster fire. The confusion. The screams.

How pathetic.

The last statement, an echo of Crosshair’s words, bounces around in your brain. You clutch your head as you let out a heartbroken sob, knee deep in the dirt and metal and grief. Tears create clean tracks down your face as you finally break down, the flood of emotions bursting the dam open. At this point, you don’t know if the emotions are yours or the ones you previously felt through the Force, all of them swirling and blending into one. The bottled up anguish merged together when you attempted to cut yourself off from the Force after the clones–your friends–attacked.

The pain of their death is perhaps the worst of all. Horror courses through you as you finally process your friends and mentors dying around the galaxy, their deaths, their distress, their fear reverberating heavily throughout the Force. Each one cripples you further as you once again struggle to breathe.

It feels like light years pass when you finally calm down to a practically numb state of being. The scenes stop replaying behind your closed eyelids and the echoing shrieks die down to a faint, hollow whisper. You’re suddenly exhausted, limbs heavy and energy sapped. It was almost relieving to finally let the Force once again flow through your body, your nerves lightly tingling with potential despite how tired you feel. You collapse onto the ground and try to recenter yourself.

But despite finally acknowledging the loss, it doesn’t feel right. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You hadn’t been able to even think about them, much less honor them, too focused on going on the run to concentrate on anything beyond the next day’s survival. Even once you joined the Bad Batch, you were paranoid about their chips, about your friends turning on you at any moment. You were always extremely reluctant to engage in the Force, even at the worst of times.

With a start, you realize that you don’t need to worry about your squadmates. Their inhibitor chips are now gone. You… you are safe.

You let out a shocked laugh as it sinks in. A glimmer of hope, of peace. I’m safe.

You sit up then, criss-crossing your legs as you survey the broken landscape of Bracca. Despite the planet being a graveyard, you feel lucidly alive. Perhaps something died in you, that wretched day. But something else, slowly but surely, began growing in its place. It’s meek, but it’s there.

You let out a breath and close your eyes, reaching for the Force like it’s an old friend. It accepts your invitation with hesitation, joining hands with you as if you did not try beating it to death for days on end. You sink into the gentle lapping waves of the Force, extending into it and widening your scope.

There’s something that lurks beneath the surface, in the deep. Dark and sinister and so utterly painful. It calls to you, quiet and low. Enticing. Tempting. And something in you knows that it’s the reason for your previous life’s demise.

But you can feel Hunter’s–and Omega’s, you realize–presence near you in the Force. Even with your relatively damaged connection to the Force after Order 66, the Bad Batch’s Force auras were something you could always hone in on. You let yourself direct your focus to the duo, letting their emotions be your beacon to the acceptance of the Light side of the Force.

In a split second, you decide to not dive deeper into the Force. This isn’t the place nor the time to discover what is prowling in the endless yawning of the Force, to discover why everything happened. So you direct your concentration to the beings on the planet, feeling and breathing your way through the Life Force.

You freeze. There’s something here. No… someone. Your eyebrows furrow as you divert your attention away from your friends and other organisms to the peculiar source. Something about this person strikes you as familiar.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp. I’m not alone. A Force-sensitive. Someone survived. Giddy beyond belief, you snatch up your helmet and begin trekking your way across the wreckage in the opposite direction of Hunter and Omega before pausing. Whoever this person is doesn’t know about your presence on the planet.

And despite the fear you felt emanating off of them in the Force, you somehow knew they were safe, at least for now. And they would remain so if you have anything to say about it. Maker forbid anything that jeopardizes this person’s fragile safety. After all, you know best what it’s like to constantly flee scene after scene.

Staying away is the best thing to do. I’ll come back for you, whoever you are.

You double back and make quick work of getting across the debris as you focus your concentration on Hunter’s and Omega’s Force signatures. As you get closer to the port side, you hear Omega’s high voice. Through your HUD, you can see her small form. You grin. She disappears then, and on closer inspection, you figure she jumped through some broken cargo doors.

The entrance she and Hunter took is too high for you to jump up to, even with the aid of the Force. Combined with your wariness of probe droids, you decide to take a different route from the right side, climbing up the broken ship. The slick oil mixed with the water still present on the metal makes for a difficult trek, and you slip more times than you would like to admit.

Hunter’s gruff voice floats up towards you and you scramble the last few meters to the edge of a hole in the ceiling before pausing. The Force is itching at the back of your head. Something’s wrong.

You peek over the edge of the giant slab of durasteel that created the hole to see bodies in white armor littered everywhere–clones, you realize. Your heart pangs in sadness at the sight.

Slightly to your right, a blue figure and a techno-service droid stand in front of a ship and a frightened Omega stands behind a defensive Hunter. Your mouth drops open. Kriff.

Cad Bane.

A memory from near the beginning of the war hits you in full force. You and Anakin had taken some time on Coruscant to catch up with each other after you passed your trials and were promoted to Jedi Knight. He told you about a mission where he had to stop a bounty hunter who successfully stole a Jedi holocron. You remember how surprised you were when you heard the bitter disgust in Anakin’s voice. The ruthlessly cunning bounty hunter not only threatened to kill Ahsoka, but he murdered Master Ropal.

Judging by the looks of it, Hunter doesn’t know who he is. If the Anakin Skywalker had a difficult time with Cad Bane, there is no way in sithhell Hunter can take him on, even with his enhanced senses. Frankly, you seriously doubt you can either, especially with how rusty your Force skills are now. And that means this isn’t going to end well.

You watch carefully as you tune into the conversation.

“Ain’t you smart?” Bane smirks. “The kid’s got it all figured it out.”

“You’re in trouble now!” the droid exclaims, pointing at Hunter and Omega. You grit your teeth in annoyance.

“Who hired you?” Hunter asks. Stalling. Not a bad move, Hunter.

“Son,” Bane sighs, already done with the brief conversation. “That’s confidential information. Now hand her over.”

Omega stays behind Hunter, taking a knee as Hunter walks forward protectively. You bristle. How am I supposed to help from up here?

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Your eyes drift over the scene in a panic and you take in the fallen clones again. An idea pops into your head. It is desperate, but at this point, you don’t have much of a choice.

Bane mimics Hunter’s movement, walking forward and putting a hand near his belt. The tension is as thick as duracrete.

“That’s unfortunate… for you.”

You grab the long barrel piece from your belt, fitting it over your blaster hurriedly as the showdown begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you see them staring each other down and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Men.

During the war, Crosshair helped you re-engineer your weapon so you could put together various pieces in the field to make a blaster gun that loosely resembled his own sniper. Seeing the clones reminded you of him. A wave of sadness washes over you, but you shake your head. Now is not the time.

You screw on the telescopic sight and set up your makeshift sniper. You peer through the viewfinder and find Bane’s chest. Your finger tenses over the trigger.

You let yourself sink deep into the Force, let it guide your actions. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. As you relax, the mellow warmth you missed so dearly washes over you, gently eroding the torment in your mind and heart, guiding your focus to the here and now. Trust in the Force.

Wait.

Now.

You fire two bolts straight into your target the same exact moment Bane and Hunter shoot each other. Hunter’s shot hits the droid, breaking off its leg. Bane’s shot hits directly in Hunter’s chest, as yours did Bane. Both men immediately fall backwards and slam into the ground.

“My booster!” Oh. So not a leg. Got it.

“Hunter!”

Kriff kriff kriff. You jump down nimbly from your hiding spot in the ceiling and immediately sprint towards the duo. Is he dead? You would unapologetically release sithhell on Bane if he killed the man you love.

Omega panics as she tries to wake Hunter up, continuously calling his name before taking a glimpse of her surroundings. Before you can react, she grabs her bow and pulls it taut, aiming at you. She looks petrified.

“Whoa! Omega, it’s me!” you exclaim, holding your hands up in surrender. She takes a moment to actually look at you before sagging in relief. Suddenly, the droid comes speeding out of nowhere and Omega shoots, the energy bolt whizzing past your waist and straight into the droid before it can attack you from behind.

The shot rings true and the grumpy robot falls. You turn around to grab at its exposed parts under its head and yank them out to make sure it can’t power on again.

“Thanks, Omega. I owe you one,” you say and Omega gives you a proud smile.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder before kneeling down to shake Hunter awake, but it doesn’t work. You take a moment to analyse Hunter’s Life Force. It’s a bit dimmer, but it’s constant, meaning he’s out cold and doesn’t have the life draining out of him. You let out a sigh of relief. He’s alive. You glance back to see Bane still not moving. Good.

“What’re we gonna do?” Omega whispers as you both peer down at Hunter. His armor is smoking from Bane’s blaster shot and you exhale through your teeth, trying to come up with a plan. You slip off a glove to check Hunter’s pulse–it’s strong. You don’t want to leave Omega alone, even if Bane is unconscious, but you aren’t sure you have a choice.

“Well we can’t carry him to safety, neither of us are strong enough for that,” you think aloud, gears churning in your head. You would have to wait for help, even if you were sitting ducks.

Briefly, you entertain the thought of taking Bane’s ship. The only problem is you don’t know what trackers or other gadgets are in there–it’s too costly of a risk and a price you weren’t willing to pay. You sigh, resigned.

“Omega, you try to comm the others and see if you can wake Hunter up. I’m going to go inside this guy’s ship and see if I can find something that can help us. We have to get out of here before the bounty hunter wakes up,” you instruct and Omega nods, youthful determination flooding back into her eyes.

You leave her to it, walking cautiously towards Bane’s ship. You look down at him. His armor is smoking in two places from the shots you fired. Based on what you see, he’s still unconscious, and his Life Force reflects the same conclusion. How long that would remain, you don’t know. Which means you need to work fast.

You board the ship while you remove the sniper attachments from your blaster and clip them back onto your belt. You keep your guard up as you look around. No droids. Guess that techno-service droid is his one and only.

In an effort to slowly re-familiarize yourself with the Force, you send out a quick pulse through it to see if there are any lifeforms aboard the ship, relaxing when you find none. You rummage through all the cabinets that you discover, looking high and low as you try to locate something of use. The secret compartment in the cockpit proves to be the fruitful reward to your search. With a wave of your hand, you unlock it with ease. Bingo.

Credits. Bags of them. And they’re unmarked creds, which make your score even better. Hopefully, it would be enough to pay off your debt to Cid and give the Havoc Marauder some much-needed upgrades.

Usually, you would feel bad about stealing from someone, but considering this was a bounty hunter – Cad Bane, no less – you figure you can risk treading the grey area of your moral code.

You grab as many bags as you’re able, stuffing them inside your backpack and clipping the rest onto your belt. At this moment, you’re incredibly grateful to Tech and Echo for designing a sturdy utility belt that fits you well. The standard ones were for clones and you definitely were not a clone.

You exit the cockpit and head to the second level of the ship to see if there’s anything else you can find. A stack of crates sits in the corner across from what you assume to be a prison. You scrunch your nose in disgust as you open one to find medical supplies. Bacta patches and gel, vitapaste, rations, water, gloves, sanitary napkins–it was all there. Delighted, you close the crate and click the repulsor to make it levitate. Oh how you love technology.

You turn around and walk back up the stairs to leave the ship. You freeze at the exit ramp. You have got to be karking kidding me.

“Sorry lil’ lady.”

Cad Bane stuns Omega in front of your eyes before rounding on you and immediately fires. In a desperate attempt to save yourself, you throw your hands up and the honeyed power of the Force rushes through every fibre of your being. The blaster bolts slow down to a snail-like crawl and your eyes widen. How did I…?

Never mind how you argue with yourself. Time to get out of here!

You tiptoe around each bolt, the effort of keeping them in stasis becoming more difficult with each passing moment. You grit your teeth as your arms shake, but you keep going until you are finally off the ramp. You lower your arms and the energy hits the inside of the ship, spazzing out the blinking controls inside.

Bane turns to you in surprise, astonished at how you’re suddenly in front of him. You don’t give him the luxury of processing the event and immediately punch him in the face with as much strength as you can muster. Bane pitches backwards and collapses onto the ground, just as he did the first time. You grab your stun blaster and shoot him as extra assurance. You really did not want this to repeat again. Hopefully he never wakes up with a memory of what I just did...

“Now stay down,” you mutter to a knocked out Bane, cradling your now injured hand. You have no idea how Wrecker ever does this because wow your hand is killing you.

You have to say, you’re pretty proud of yourself for being able to render him unconscious not once, but two times. You wish you could tell Anakin–the thought saddens you. He’s probably dead too.

With that vividly cheery thought, you stagger back from the ramp in exhaustion, weary from the sudden surge of the Force still ebbing and coursing through your body.

None of the Bad Batch knew you used to be a Jedi–not even Hunter. It was something only a few of your closest Jedi friends and the Jedi Council knew about.

But after what happened today, with Rex helping your squadmates get their inhibitor chips out, with you finally letting the Force in… maybe it is time to tell them. The secrecy wouldn’t be needed anymore now that you were sure you were safe around your friends. But clearly, the universe wanted to throw a nasty vibroblade in your plans by knocking Hunter and Omega unconscious and having the best kriffing bounty hunter in the galaxy be hot on your heels.

You take a few seconds to get your breath back and regain your mental energy. You aren’t out of the woods yet. You run inside Bane’s ship to grab the crate of medical supplies before sprinting back out towards Hunter and Omega.

You lean down and pat Omega’s cheek gently, trying to wake her up, but she’s out cold. Why is everyone around me unconscious? Frankly, you’re equally amused and terrified by the situation laid out in front of you.

You sigh, looking around to see if you can find some cover. There’s a giant sheet of durasteel to your left, big enough to act as a barrier in case trouble comes knocking. You bend down and pick Omega up before placing her down cautiously, leaning her small body against the metal. You repeat the action with the crate you found.

The third time proves to be much more difficult. Hunter certainly isn’t as muscular as Wrecker, but he sure as sithhell isn’t as light as Omega. You tap your foot nervously, trying to figure out a way for you to lift him. Yes, you could use the Force, but you don’t want to alert the other Force-sensitive on the planet. If they knew about your existence, it could put them in danger, and that was the last thing you wanted.

Giving up, you place your hands underneath Hunter’s armpits and effectively drag him all the way over, propping him up as you did Omega. You cringe at the sound of his armor grating the floor. There are sure to be dirty scuff marks on it now. Sorry Hunter.

Just as you’re about to sit down next to him, heaving deep breaths from the exertion, you pause. A warning is practically blaring in the Force and you tense, urgently trying to figure out the cause.

“Not again,” you mumble under your breath. You can’t handle any more action today. With Hunter and Omega both down, and your extreme fatigue from engaging in the Force, you don’t know how much of a fight you can put up. Not to mention you never trained as a soldier. There was a reason why you left the military planning strategies to the Bad Batch.

You hold your blaster close to your chest as you scan the environment. Bane is immobile and so is the dismantled techno-service droid. So what’s wrong?

Ten nerve-wracking seconds pass before you get your answer. Clone voices waft up to your hiding spot and you bite your cheek in frustration as your head continues to pound. Your headache still hasn’t stopped.

There is no way you can fight them all off, especially if Crosshair is with them. They are too far away for you to get a read on how many there are, and frankly, you’re much too scared to even peek around the durasteel to count.

One of Tech’s previous statements floats through your mind. About three attack shuttles worth.

You can feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Ican’tdothis.

You take deep breaths, doing your best to clear your mind and focus. You had to do this. There is no other option other than surrendering or dying. No, damnit, you would go down fighting until the Life Force left you.

You peer just past the edge of the metal to see at least twenty clones heading your way. Certainly not ideal, but you bide your time. If you started shooting now, you couldn’t use the element of surprise to your advantage and they would easily overwhelm you. But once they’re close enough, you hope you can at least take a couple out before having to resort to using the Force. It isn’t ideal, but it’s all you have.

Honestly, you don’t know if you could get out of this one alive, much less protect Hunter and Omega too. Maker help me.

It throws you off when they finally come into sight–you see how plain the clones’ armor looked without paint. You never really noticed it before since you were always running for your life in those circumstances. But now that you think about it, you are so used to seeing bright blue or green or yellow that the alabaster white just seems so… odd.

“Looks like a big fight happened here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. All these men are dead.”

Now.

You whip your body around the metal and immediately begin shooting as fast as you can pull the trigger, trying to make every shot count. The troopers hesitate for just a moment, most likely due to their surprise of you being there. But that second is all you need.

You take out the three men closest to you before jumping back behind the metal as their barrage of fire rains down on you. You do your best to shoot back and manage to take out one more clone, but they’re beginning to gain too much ground too fast. I can do this. I have to do this.

As far as you can tell, Crosshair isn’t with the clones attacking you, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t set up shop somewhere nearby, waiting to shoot you.

You shudder. It’s a chilling thought.

You grab one of your last detonators from your belt and hurl it as far as you can. The rapid beeping rises quickly in pitch before the charge explodes. Anguished cries reverberate throughout the area, and you briefly feel sorry for having to take such drastic measures as you feel their Force signatures dim swiftly. But you don’t have a choice.

Peeking around the corner, you count around eight to ten clones down. Not bad considering the circumstances.

You continue shooting as much as you can but now the troopers are much too close for comfort and you’re feeling overwhelmed. The durasteel you are using for cover isn’t meant to take this kind of damage, and the integrity of your shield is quickly waning as told by the constant creaks and groans. You don’t know what to do. Will we make it?

In your haste of shooting first and panicking later, you don’t notice Hunter groaning, finally waking up. And before you have time to even glance at him, the familiar hum of the Havoc Marauder and its lights shine down on you. Your sag in relief. Looks like Omega was able to comm them after all. Never before have you been so glad to see the beat-up hunk of junk. (You would never say that to Tech though–the Marauder is his baby, his pride and joy.)

Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all race off the ship, guns ablazing. Wrecker and Tech stand guard, serving as cover fire while Echo bends down to help you out.

“Hunter, wake up!” Echo hisses and smacks his helmet lightly. Hunter mumbles in pain as he starts to move, trying to look around as his HUD boots back up. Seriously? Now you wake up? you think sarcastically. But you’re much more relieved at the fact that he has actually woken up.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” Wrecker bellows, worried.

“She’s right here, I’ve got her!” you shout back at the same time Echo says, “He was shot in the chest plate.”

You pocket your blaster and gather the young girl in your arms with every last bit of strength you have left. You aren’t strong enough to hold her in one arm and shoot with the other. That is much more up Wrecker’s alley.

“We have to get him on board!” Tech exclaims as he helps Echo support Hunter. You pick Omega up in both arms and bolt for the ship as fast as you can while yelling at Tech to grab the crate of supplies.

“Incoming!” Wrecker calls out as a fresh wave of troopers advance towards the six of you. You grunt as you deposit Omega in a chair near the controls before pulling out your blaster and helping Wrecker shoot down the men racing towards you.

“Got him. Tech, fly us out of here!” Echo commands while Wrecker makes a gesture for them to get on the ship faster. Hunter stumbles as he does his best to upright himself.

“Go go go!” Wrecker exclaims. Tech shoves the crate next to Omega’s seat and makes a beeline for the cockpit as you continue shooting, moving to the side to make space for Echo and Hunter to come on board. Wrecker quickly climbs in right after them and the ramp closes shut.

Tech immediately pilots the Havoc Marauder up and away from the scene. You vaguely hear the sound of blaster fire hitting the bottom of the ship while you drop your blaster on the ground and wrench Hunter’s helmet off in a panic. You take his face in your hands as you scan him quickly, trying to figure out if he’s hurt or not.

Hunter bats your hands away. “He... he took Omega,” he says and you shake your head. Wrecker pipes up from behind you to respond.

“Who? Crosshair?”

“The bounty hunter,” Hunter mutters as he rubs a hand over his face. Before Wrecker can answer again, you step in.

“No, he didn’t. I took him down. And no, he’s not dead,” you tack on quickly when you see Echo open his mouth. Echo shakes his head fondly and you just grin at him.

“She’s right here,” Echo says instead, pointing to Omega’s sleeping figure. Hunter turns in surprise to see that his brother is indeed telling the truth.

“How...?” Hunter’s voice trails off. Echo and Wrecker look at you expectantly, and Hunter follows suit. You sigh and take off your helmet, setting it down on the ledge next to the controls. You don’t look at them.

“It’s a long story.”

You don’t have a chance to elaborate any further because Tech walks in, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ve made the jump to hyperspace. There was a cruiser in the atmosphere, but I was able to quietly go past them by disguising our ship as a bounty hunter’s. They didn’t interfere. I put in the coordinates for Ord Mantell. I estimate our time of arrival to be five hours and thirty two minutes,” Tech reports and Hunter nods while you voice your thanks.

“Looks like we got time!” Wrecker says cheerily, pulling out an extra chair. Tech looks to you in confusion.

“Did I miss something significant?” Tech asks, concerned about the information he did not receive as he adjusts his goggles. You shake your head but now, all eyes are back on you.

“She was just about to tell us how she saved Omega,” Hunter supplies helpfully and Tech nods in understanding. He grabs a chair as well and sits down, interested in hearing what you have to say.

You look around the room, realizing you can’t get out of it. You are exhausted and just want to sleep but based on the looks you are getting from the boys, there is no way you can leave without giving a sufficient answer.

You sit down on a chair in between Omega and Echo and begin explaining.

“When the cone fell, it separated. I got knocked out when I hit the ground, but I don’t think I broke anything,” you quickly reassure as Tech grabs a datapad to scan your vitals.

“After I came to, I tried comming Echo, but my commlink was broken – I could only hear bits and pieces of what he said. There were some voices near me so I just followed them and–” you pause, not sure if you should tell them what happened. What you experienced, what you found out. “–I saw Hunter and Omega. The ledge I found was way too high for me to jump to, so I climbed up the side of the wreckage to see them and the bounty hunter facing off,” you say, choosing to leave the detail out. It was too personal. You still needed time.

All of them are listening intently, hanging on to every word you’re saying. Hunter’s gaze on you is heavy and loaded with questions. Tech is still tapping away on the datapad, but you know you have his full attention. Multitasking may not be possible for regular humans, but it definitely was for Tech.

“When I saw the bounty hunter, I knew Hunter wasn’t going to win,” you mumble sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. Hunter winces at your statement and you rush to explain why.

“Hunter, you have to trust that I genuinely don’t doubt your abilities. You are much more of a soldier than I will ever be. But this bounty hunter is one of the best, if not the best in the entire galaxy. He’s gone against the Jedi, and won. Based on what Anakin told me at the beginning of the war, Cad Bane is ruthless. He tortured Master Ropal and killed him. Believe it or not, I think he tried to abduct Chancellor Palpatine. Even Anakin had a difficult time fighting him.”

A tense quiet settles over you all as you mentally revisit your conversation with Anakin, and later with Ahsoka. She told you how it was one of the first times she was genuinely afraid that she was going to die, or at least get hurt very severely.

Echo’s rough voice shakes you out of your reverie. “How do–did you know General Skywalker?” he asks, clearly confused at how you referred to him on a first-name basis. You mentally facepalm yourself. How did I forget he served as part of the 501st? You feel incredibly stupid.

You could make up a lie, of course, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Hunter’s enhanced senses and Tech’s vitals scan could probably pick up on your biological signs, not to mention you would feel terribly guilty about not being honest. I promised myself I would tell them…

You blow out a nervous breath, deciding to at least give them something. They deserved that much.

“I’m–well, I was a Jedi,” you admit, staring down at your feet. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, feeling almost… ashamed.

The boys are shocked into silence and you cringe. There was probably a much better way for you to say that, but now it was out there. Yet the pressure that had been weighing down on you since you let the Force back in didn’t lessen.

“What?” Wrecker questions, thrown completely for a loop. “You’re a Jedi?”

Before you can answer, Tech pipes up. “When I reviewed your medical data, there was no note about an elevated midi-chlorian count or any sort of connection to the Force. Additionally, there is no documentation of you serving as a General or a Commander during the war in the Republic military records. How were you a Jedi? And why aren’t you one now? You used past tense in your sentence,” Tech adjusts his goggles as he attempts to register this new information that conflicted with his previous knowledge.

You sigh, drumming your fingers on your thigh. “I left the Jedi Order before the war ended. I promise I’ll explain everything in detail later, but for now, you have to understand that I’m just a Force-user. I trained as a Jedi, but I’m not a Jedi, not anymore,” you clarify, lifting your head up to make eye contact with each of them.

“Aw man, that’s so cool. You have to show us your cool mind tricks sometime!” Wrecker smiles and you agree to his request. It warms your heart to see him so excited.

“It makes sense. You must have seen the regs turn on the Jedi but didn’t know why. When you started traveling with us, you didn’t know if we would turn on you too, even though we’re not regs,” Hunter realizes, and you nod in affirmation. You’re secretly relieved by the fact that he doesn’t seem angry, just… just thoughtful.

“And then when I saw what happened to Crosshair, I knew I couldn’t risk ever telling any of you. But when Rex told us about the chips…” you trail off.

Echo picks up your sentence quickly. “You figured out you would be safe with us if we got our chips removed. No wonder you were so insistent on following what Rex said.”

You smile at the last part, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong. You were probably even more insistent than Rex was on telling them to get their inhibitor chips out. Better to be safe than sorry you told them. Though at the time, you hadn’t even thought about how removing their chips would impact you and your abilities. You were too focused on keeping the Force out of your body to entertain that thought.

Wrecker suddenly gets up and gathers you in a bone-crushing hug. “Well you don’t have to worry now! We got those stupid chips out of our heads, which means I promise we won’t kill you!” he says cheerfully and you can’t help but laugh as you hug him back, the knot in your chest beginning to unravel. You could always count on Wrecker’s wonderfully big heart to raise your spirits.

“You’re right, big guy. It’s honestly a relief. One less thing I have to worry about.”

Wrecker lets go of you and you pick up where you left off. “As I was saying, Cad Bane isn’t a bounty hunter we can take lightly. Crosshair helped me re-engineer my blaster to turn it into a pseudo sniper with attachable parts during the war. Because I was so high up, I could get a clear shot of Bane. From that vantage point, I shot him at the same time Hunter and Bane shot each other.”

Echo’s mouth drops open. “Damn.”

“What I didn’t expect was for Hunter to be rendered completely unconscious. So I told Omega to try to comm you guys while I went on Bane’s ship to see if I could find anything. And I did.” You pull off your backpack and dump out the contents. Bags of credits come tumbling out. You unhook the few bags on your belt and toss them into the pile.

“Bane had a secret compartment with a lot of credits. So I took them and that crate I yelled at Tech to get,” you explain as you reach into the bag to show off the Imperial credits.

Tech’s eyes widen as he lifts up a bag to inspect it. “I will have to calculate how much you took and mark it in the inventory, but based on my initial deduction, this may be enough for us to upgrade the Marauder and provide sustenance for at least a few months.”

“Nice one!” Wrecker compliments and you grin in response. “What’s in the crate?” he asks, walking over to lift up the top.

“Medical supplies. We barely had any left so I figured I might as well take that too,” you shrug as Hunter gets up to join Wrecker to peer at the contents.

“What happened after that? You said you told Omega to comm the others, which means she was awake. Did she get hurt while I was out? Is that why you look so exhausted?” Hunter inquires, astute as ever.

You bite your lower lip. “When I was getting off his ship with the goods, he had woken up again. Before I could do anything, he stunned Omega and then immediately shot at me,” you pause, wondering if you should elaborate on how you got out of the situation. You decide to come clean on this part.

“I… I don’t know how, but I was able to stop the blaster bolts and keep them – and Bane – in stasis with the Force. The problem was that it took a lot out of me. After not really using the Force for so long, my energy reserves were pretty much gone,” you sigh, absentmindedly rubbing your arms. Your muscles are still sore from the event.

“After that, I punched him and knocked him out again. I dragged you and Omega away from the ship so that I could protect you, and I ended up using that giant piece of durasteel as cover to fight off those clones. Then you guys came and rescued us and that’s that,” you finish, suddenly fatigued from the conversation. You slump back into your chair, perfect posture be damned.

“Wow,” is all Echo says, surprised by your strength. It took some serious stamina to be able to withstand so much for so long. Echo remembered seeing Commander Tano and General Skywalker be exhausted after some especially intense missions where they constantly had to use the Force.

“Yeah,” you mutter, massaging your dominant hand. It is still throbbing from the mean hook you threw at Bane. You don’t have any regrets. You glance at Omega’s sleeping figure and soften. The things I would do for this girl.

“Looks like I taught you well!” Wrecker laughs and you smile. When you first met the Bad Batch, Wrecker took it upon himself to teach you basic self-defense and how to overtake an opponent intelligently. Even though you already learned how to fight as part of your Jedi and military training, you couldn’t say no to him when he looked so excited. But it paid off because he’s right. Wrecker did teach you well.

“You did. You basically saved my ass out there with your amazing teaching skills,” you chuckle, glancing down at your hand. You think you’ll probably have to cover it in bacta gel to speed up the healing process before having yet another realization. (You seem to be having a lot of those today.)

I can just Force-heal. Before, you couldn’t Force-heal because it would look suspicious if something healed too fast. But now that they know, you don’t have to solely depend on medical supplies anymore.

Tech, as always, is right on cue. “Is your hand alright? For you to render Bane unconscious must have been no easy feat. Not to mention that according to the medscan I just took, you have a mild concussion, most likely due to your fall. I can run a medical diagnostic test to start and then run more specific tests to combat your pain...” Tech mutters the last part to himself, brain running light years faster than his mouth as his fingers fly over the datapad.

You debate it for a moment before nodding. “That would be great, Tech–thanks. But right now, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go and crash in my bunk. Wake me up if I need to punch someone again,” you joke before shuffling away from your squadmates. You ruffle Omega’s hair affectionately as you pass by her and pick up your blaster from the ground before climbing down the ladder. You don’t notice Hunter’s troubled gaze or how his Force signature sours a bit as you leave.

You quickly clean up and throw on some bacta patches on a few nasty bruises. You sit down on your bed and pull the privacy curtain before deciding to open up your secret compartment next to your mattress. You stare down at the objects, the only things you have left as a reminder of the past. You reach down for one of them, about to touch it when you stop.

You shake your head and shut the drawer. Deciding to finally, finally hit the hay, you’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Dealing with the Force and healing yourself could be done later. Not even your constant pain and crippling worry about your family friends could keep you up any longer.

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

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idiotic-genius · 4 years ago

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How to make characters fall in love

🍦 Requested by @ bishstopit

There are several things you should think about when you want two characters to fall in love with each other.

1. What kind of romance do you want them to have?

This seems unnatural to think about but it’s important: Do you want them to fall in love because they’re alike? Because they’re complete opposites? Is it a Romeo-and-Julia kind of romance or an unhealthy relationship they have, even before they fall in love in the first place? Here are some examples:

Rey Palpatine and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Unhealthy. You don’t just forgive a mass murderer and have a healthy relationship with one (Weird, I know). Yes, Ben tried to redeem himself, but the main point in a relationship isn’t “fixing” the other person.

Magnus Chase and Alex Fierro: Healthy. They are actually in love and it’s not because they want to change the other person significantly.

Severus Snape and Lily Potter: Unhealthy. He had a crush on her and it made him a horrible person, but he made it seem like it was other peoples’ fault (James, Harry etc.)

2. What do the characters want?

Next, you should try to sort out what the characters individually are looking for in a partner. Romantic attraction is something that can be very different from person to person and has lots to do with how they were raised and what their experiences are. If you already know who you want to be together, at least try to make it fit. Here are some examples:

A person with “daddy issues” is more likely to be attracted to people that are older than them. That is because they are subconsciously looking for someone to replace their father figure. This doesn’t have to mean they only get with people that are way too old for them, it is just a preference that can be observed.

A person with [!TW!] abusive parents, relatives or teachers, or someone who has been bullied, is more likely to be attracted to ��bad” people because they have learned a different defintion of love when they were young. That doesn’t have to mean they only get into unhealthy relationships, it just means that they have a different perceiving of love.

Also, usually a person is attracted to someone who reminds them of “first lovers” like their parents. However, it can also be the complete opposite, if e.g. someone hates their parents.

3. How to hint romance

Even before the characters directly realize they are in love, there are ways to hint that they’re fancying each other to the reader before it’s explicitly stated. That’s, however, a tricky process, as we wouldn’t want the reader to know too much, right? Here are some ways to hint romance before the characters even know themselves:

Being protective of each other. For example, if the characters get in danger, A would subconsciously make sure B is okay first, or if A gets insulted, B would be the first one to get angry.

Noticing appareance more. For example, with a first-person narrator/3rd-person selective narrator from A’s perspective, A would spend more time describing what B is wearing without using the “oh no I’m staring”-clichée (or use it if you want, it’s just not as subtle). That way, they also notice little changes in the other’s appareance.

Subconsiously testing limits. That means teasing, joking around and subtle flirting, even if you’re not aware that you’re doing it. People do that to find out how far they can go with the other and how they react.

Remembering tiny details. For example, remembering each others’ favorite sort of ice cream or knowing what the others’ favorite color is.

Here’s a little example on how to do that, with A(sh) fancying B(ay) and B having a crush on A, written from A’s perspective:

When I arrived at the coffee shop on 5th Avenue, barely with my shoe laces bound because I got in such a hurry, Bay, Cora and Daniel were already waiting for me, sitting outside under one of the yellow umbrellas. Slightly panting, I let myself fall on the empty chair at their table.

“Who said you could sit with us?”, Bay asked, teasingly taking a judging sip from their coffee. Two sugars, as always, I guessed.

“You want me to go?”, I replied, raising my eyebrows.

Bay chuckled. “Here’s the menu”, they said, handing it over.

When I reached out for it, I noticed they had painted their nails... red? That was something else, usually they were black.

“So, why did I have to get here so fast?”, I asked, remembering the message Daniel sent me.

“Oh, well”, he said, “We just thought you’d like to hang with us. Also, check this out!”

He took off his jacket and revealed a shirt of his favorite band. I nodded appreciatively. At least he switched his shirt every once in a while. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was even wearing the same jeans. I never understood how he could just live like that- and how Cora was able to put up with it. Love, I guess.

“At least you switched your shirt this week”, Bay said while scrunching their nose in overdramatic disgust, an echo of my thoughts. Of course, their outfit was well picked out, black skinny jeans, a red flannel and the usual hairstyle. Something else I would never understand: How could someone look so elegant while also looking so chill?!

“So, Ash”, Cora said, pointing to the menu I was still holding, “Picked something?”

“Don’t bother.” Daniel rolled his eyes. “She’s going to pick the same cupcake she eats all the time.”

“Nothing better than a good cupcake”, Bay said, “What will you pick, the same pie you eat all the time?”

“Nothing better than a good pie”, Cora repeated what they had just said, but she winked at me as she said it.

Notice how Bay was teasing Ash, yet defended her when Daniel commented on her order, and how Ash immediately noticed that Bay had painted their nails a different color? I tried to not make it obvious that they like each other, even though it wasn’t hard to tell because I put so much into that little of text.

4. How do the characters find out?

There are, as I like to put it, two ways to make the characters “click”: The boom way, and the soft way. Which one of those you use is your decision, even though you should make sure it fits the plot of the book.

The boom way: In a nutshell, something grave happens that makes the characters realize how important they are to each other. That can be a ton of things, e.g. one of them almost dying, them having a fight, them having to split up in a dangerous situation or even someone else telling them how obvious it is.

The soft way: When there is no actual event that has the characters like “oh no I love them”, this is how it could go instead. Usually, A would realize that they love B when B does nothing “special” at all, maybe just singing along to their favorite song in the car, and A would just think “Yep, call it love I guess”. This way is much more calm and gentle than the other (and, in my opinion, a little harder to write, but thus also rarer in literature, which makes it interesting).

I’m terribly sorry this took me so long, I had a few problems researching for this post because romance isn’t really my strongest side :)

#writing #writing tips #writing prompts #prompts #tips #romance #how to write #hinting romance #character #character help #character inspiration

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gh0stbra1nz · 3 years ago

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my thoughts on aadsig ep 11 + overall

this episode was probably one of my favourites. the growth and the handling of emotions were done so well and everyone’s story has actually already reached a satisfying ending, even if it’s only the penultimate episode. genuinely one of the best concluded dramas － no loose ends, no character forgotten and no change too abrupt. as always the show hit very close to home, what with the father claiming that everyone looks down on him and the violent rage that follows (though when we’d told our father he’s delusional we ended up very differently from jun lol), with his reaction to being exposed (mine was only threatened once with a call to the police but the way the father in the drama handled it was so similar it struck me).

jun’s growth is possibly the most satisfying, realistic and relatable for me. it was hard for him to stand up for himself and even harder to truly cut himself off from the pain that had made home in him for years, because at that point it really is a part of you and feels as though it shaped you into who you’ve become － it’s as though without it you are less than the nothing you already were. it’s something i still struggle with regarding this particular part of my life and seeing jun going through it was emotional, to say the least.

the friendship in this show! i genuinely love how they portray relationships of all types. though the drama in itself wasn’t spectacular i do think the writing for each character’s personality and how they interact with one another was done really well.

in the end however the relationship between sobin and jun still feels incredibly dry romantically to me. their interactions just come off as friendly in my eyes and their playful flirting as awkward. i genuinely cannot see them as a couple and don’t think i ever will － and not solely because they wrote such a perfect relationship between soohyun and jun. frankly, sobin and jun just don’t click to me, at least.

on the other hand, soohyun and jun. i’ve talked a fair bit about why i love their dynamic and why i truly believe that they should have ended up together. honestly, throughout the majority of the show it felt as though the director and writer wanted to portray them as love interests for each other (or just, y’know, the usual queerbaiting stuff ig). the way scenes were cut/shot, the lingering stares, the subtle and not-so-subtle acts of affection and emphasis on their every interaction － loosely speaking, they were the two characters who interacted the most in the whole show, so obviously they would feel to have the most chemistry and sound base for a relationship; because they’ve grown accustomed to one another, they’ve grown attached to one another, they’ve become so comfortable that jun opens up to soohyun about something as personal as his abuse, whilst sobin mostly keeps her emotional (and literal, at times when the presence of both was needed even, which i found questionable on her part as jun’s supposed partner) distance from jun, both of her own volition and the latter’s.

it was so interesting to see how soohyun and jun balanced each other out and what was incredibly validating of this was in today’s episode, when they were sitting on that bench and directly saying how they couldn’t imagine not having met each other. it’s come to the point that they truly can’t be without the other and whilst jun and sobin talk about missing each other a lot etc, it’s almost never shown, which makes it harder for me as a viewer to believe it when jun and hyun actually show their need for closeness and a genuine interest in the other.

in the end, sobin felt more like a buffer of sorts to keep things heteronormative because － and i mean this objectively － her role in the story and growth of the characters was quite literally non-existent. her character brought about minimal change for that of a main which solidifies the idea in my mind that she was there to keep things straight and that’s it. if we were to imagine the show without her, honestly not much changes? there are no effects on jun or hyun who are fellow mains － actually, even just skipping her existing scenes when watching the show is enough to give base to my opinion on her writing. even if soohyun and jun wouldn’t be canonically paired up in the end in a version without her, their interactions and dynamic are so layered with romanticism that it’d be an unavoidable thought in the viewer’s mind and an inevitable conclusion that they do, at least, feel something for each other. the second official version of the show's poster wouldn't help either. sobin felt very much to be there merely to put some distance between canon and this idea.

this is not to shit on sobin but rather how she was written. initially i was interested in her story and how it would entangle with the others, but half way through or so she reached a peak and fell flat, no longer having the mystery of her full story to carry her left her character with no purpose and to serve only as a filler. if they had to write her as jun’s partner i wish they’d put more thought and effort into how the two, and particularly she, behaved with who she supposedly loved, because whilst once we learned all of hyun’s story his presence remained fundemental to the plot and jun’s character － not to mention he himself keeps changing for the better － sobin doesn’t carry any weight in the storyline, nor does she affect the characters or continue her road to growing. in all, it seemed as though her character － of the three mains － was the one that underwent the least transformation.

as for soohyun, i know nothing about the manhwa except for the fact that he’s the gay character in it. in the drama, so far, unless they decide to abruptly shove miju or youngran (?) in his face and we dismiss that brief scene of him putting his finger down when asked if he liked one of the girls, he has actually never truly shown romantic interest in anyone (besides jun but that’s my opinion lmao). even if they erased his sexuality (despite the fact that this show was going for the air of progression and being true to one’s self) they at least － so far － haven’t forced him with a woman which is something small to appreciate (the bar is low).

in the end i’m happy i was queerbaited into watching this drama because, whilst not perfect, it resonated with me a lot and both hyun and jun have come to mean a lot to me as characters. it was realistic and respectful in portraying trauma and mental health issues which i really appreciated.

#at a distance spring is green #anyway it ends tomorrow so hopefully not too much happens that invalidates this post/my opinion/feelings regarding the show/characters #i hope nobody takes my opinion about sobin and subsequently her relationship with jun personally or as from someone who wanted to see the #guys together just because theyd be gay #but rather the opinion of someone wh just couldn't grasp their two personalities/characters being together romantically given the #source media #long post #im sorry #until the end i'm being an annoying presence in this tag lmao #now imagine if i knew how to gif.... i would have driven yall mad #k.txt

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djmarinizelablog · 3 years ago

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A Conversation with the Author of City Comma State, kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile

Had a short interview with the author of City Comma State, @kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile and asked her if I could share our conversation online---she said yes!

Did you know that Hange and Levi in her work was based on Spongebob and Squidward's interactions?

Read the entire transcript below:

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djmarinizela (D): if i may ask, where and how did you learn to write so good? what inspired you to write city comma state?

kippielovesyou (K): i don't mind at all! it's genuinely just years of practice. i've been scribbling stories since kindergarten (i had a long standing multi part series in first grade about all my classmates). i think one thing is certain: having a strong understanding of characters whether you borrow them or they are your own is pretty key.

a lot of points [in Isayama's story] could have been better thought out or tighter. however, we all love his characters. a weak plot (or in the case of city comma state: no plot) can be ignored or forgiven if everyone loves the characters

i'll be honest, i spend a lot of time trying to understand why a character does things or reacts a certain way. and yes, sometimes, that means i act out scenes in my car while driving. it's embarrassing...

there's a lot more to it, but to me that's the most important thing

as far as how city comma state came about: i wanted to do a slow burn romance centered around levihan, but I also wanted to show how all these characters care about and support each other. i knew in the confines of the AoT world, anyone could die at any moment and that didn't work with the softer feelings i wanted people to enjoy. how can you enjoy the friendship between mike and hange if he dies? it's possible, but it upends all the warmth we were enjoying. so i wrote an AU. i wanted to keep levi with a rough background with many walls, and i wanted hange to have her own issues that they can work through together. and i love the idea of them adopting/supporting the 104th kids without the fear of sending them out to war

D: your answer is so profound and helpful, thank you so much! I can honestly say you pretty nailed it when it comes to character development---everyone has a character arc in your fic! [my next question] is about the gender discourse in your story. I know you started City Comma State pretty early in 2014, but even back then, the nonbinary identity wasn't widely known before. How were you able to flesh out the discourse on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and play it out on the dialogues and backstories?

K: it's pretty funny, a lot of the LGBTQIA+ has always been discussed i my family. we've had gay, lesbian, trans, gnc, bi and asexual people in my family for generations, as far back as the 20s (that we're aware of). hange's gender being debated made it a prime opportunity to write such an experience, some of which is borrowed from my own life. when i read older chapters i see certain slips in dialogue where i could have made an effort to be more neutral. we're in such a binary society that sometimes even if you feel in between, it slips in. in fact, i'm sure some people might take issue with the fact that i stuck with she/her for hange. i'm not sure i'd make a different decision today. i like this version of hange the way she is, and i hope hange's nb/gnc status comes across in more than just pronouns. hange's full identity is so much more than that and that is what i wanted to explore. and i think no matter where you fall on the whole LGBTQIA+ spectrum, you are more than just the label you've chosen. yes, in this story levi is bi/pan. but i don't think he ever says that explicitly, and he avoids labels. it seems fussy to him, which feels levi. discourse would not be his thing. i think even having a debate about whether or not he was bi or pan wouldn't be something he would want to engage in, he just wants to do what he wants. instead it's heavily implied. i think we forget since so many of us experience this discourse online and want to label things that there are people who don't want to involve themselves in it. it goes back to how would this character act. for instance, based on how levi is in canon, i can see many ways to interpret his sexuality. there's cues for a lot of different takes. but levi doesn't seem like the type that would need a definitive label in order to be happy. there's many ways to interpret hange's gender (and i've written several takes, some where they're more insistent on their pronouns), but i think hange's more excited to explore life than worry too much about much about how they're addressed or how someone talks about them. maybe another character might be more caught up in labels but hange and levi not so much

D: No, don't be sorry, I am more than thankful for your answer. I really appreciate it! I don't get to have these kinds of conversations with other writers, so I am grateful for your insights.

K: a really funny anecdote for you: i loosely based the idea of my levihan off of spongebob and squidward. you know, since they start out as neighbors and hange is more invasive than levi is used to

D: that's.... a stretch. but thanks for the tidbit! was the annual star wars contest also something that you do in your family? that part as well as all the geeky references won me over tbh!

K: it was an extremely loose inspiration! but hange mowing her lawn in the middle of the night so levi wouldn't be mad at her is on par with a spongebob move. and um...my family, while they can be a little nerdy, is not nerdy enough to do the star wars tournament! i made that up entirely

i just imagined hange having eccentric family, so they have very unusual traditions that none of the children question

i'll be the first to say a lot of city comma state is unrealistic and a little bit of a domestic fantasy. there's a lot of problems with money, employment and such that hange and levi SHOULD have but that's a little too real and not what i want to be the focus of this story. like hange landing a job that gives her a day off and she doesn't suffer a severe pay cut as a result? unrealistic. but i have other things i want to tackle. plus, in canon we have humans that turn into giants and 3D maneuver gear which would probably kill its user in real life. i think making certain parts of this fanfic a little idealistic is okay

D: are there other works that influence your writing? or authors that inspire you to write?

K: There's too many influences to count. reading is so important and even things that are bad are helpful. i actually was trying to read a YA series that seemed really cool and i had to stop reading because so many things were so annoying (I won't reveal which, since i think it has a small but dedicated fandom and i don't want to rain on their parade, it is purely a taste thing to some degree). instead of being upset and thinking that I wasted my time, i took note of what made me stop reading (that is a long list of things i didn't like so i won't bother to outline each one). even if it's something as small as a fanfiction that you had to click out of, ask yourself why you stopped. Especially with fanfiction: you already like these characters, what you're looking for is usually pretty specific (a pairing, an au, a specific scenario, etc). why, when this author has ticked all your superficial boxes, did you stop reading? and when you love something as yourself why. Ask yourself why you love the source material even! do you really love the plotlines and the world or do you love the characters? Is the dialogue strong? something to also pay attention to: people in general. how do they speak, gestures, facial expressions. really listen to how people talk (Youtube podcasts are really good for this!).

i think people would be surprised, a lot of what i really like to read is very all over. from surrealist novels, to classic literature, to science fiction aimed at children (i'm finally reading animorphs after almost 20 years!). and what i write for original fiction doesn't reflect what i'm probably best known for.

D: thanks for this, Kippie! looking forward to reading more of your works!

K: i'm still amazed at the response! writing is so solitary to me and i don't really look at my numbers. it never occurred to me that people would be discussing my fic!

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If you haven't read Kippie's Levihan fic yet, here's the link to get started: City Comma State

#levihan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #interview #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #mine #djmarinizela

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bbnibini · 4 years ago

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Hi! I really love your works but it gotten me curious if you also read fanfics? Do you have any fanfic recommendations?

Thank you, anon! That's really kind of you. 🥺💕 I do read fanfics, but not as much anymore. I'm assuming this ask is for Obey Me fics? But if not, I will include some of my absolute favourites in a future post. Fair warning: I gushed. A LOT hahaha. Please support the authors and their works! I included the fics in the hyperlinks~

NSFW fics are marked appropriately, so please click the links at your own discretion (some of them are in my public bookmarks in AO3).

Elle's Obey Me Fic Recommendations

🌸Your Coal by Angrish(LettuceBean)

Truth be told, I belong to the "forgive but don't forget camp" in lieu of what happened in Chapter 16; reading Angrish's YC and how their MC coped with the aftermath(+ how others coped along with them) felt really powerful, raw and so so emotional. It made me think and really think about how I processed the whole thing that happened. While it didn't really change my outlook on how I have forgiven Belphie for what he had done, Angrish shedding light to the unanswered questions and lingering doubts the main story have left most of its readers was done in such a thoughtful and poetic way that I found myself binge reading the whole thing.

Given that I read this whole coping with a lot of stuff as well (and may have contributed with sympathising a lot more to the vindictiveness of the MC), reading what Angrish had written was really cathartic. Their writing style is also beautiful--the way the words string together, simple, elegant, yet impactful really made MC's emotions a lot...tangible, real and sometimes, frustrating (in a good way, mind you). I also liked how they had fleshed out the other characters, especially Belphegor, Satan and the Purgatory Hall members.

🌸You'll Have to Ask Your Dad by DefenestrationProtestration

I remembered clicking on this fic because of the author's punny name, stayed for the pretty writing and reread a few several times for the characterisation and THE WRITING. I'm pretty sure I left a litany of praises and incomprehensible gushing on the comments section because of how much I've devoured this piece of art.

Even as I'm typing this review, I can't seem to organise my thoughts haha. You can tell by the writing style that the author had a lot of fun writing their prose; it permeates through the screeen...my "screen" of imagination at least. I am not joking--the writing is so pretty and vivid that I literally saw it as a movie in my head lol. I chatted with them a bit on the comments and they said the prose is more of something they had written subconsciously; it reminded me of James Joyce and how he had masterfully perfected the same technique. Of course, their writing styles differ a lot from each other, but I can see what they meant.

...as I'm typing this, I didn't realise how I haven't talked about the plot of the fic at all soz. This piece is the author's character study of Lucifer. It talks about how he was before, during and after the fall. He is a bit of an unreliable narrator, which I'm not sure if the author intended, but he has all these presumptions that miss the mark so so much, particularly at how his brothers, Lord Diavolo and the others perceive him--but reading the whole thing would make you understand why he had gotten to that kind of self-perception in the first place. And honestly? It really, really hurt to read. But was it bad? The total opposite of that, in fact! I loved how they had written the angst in this piece. So many things in the fic are "show, rather than tell" and I really really appreciate that.

Most of my brainrot about this fic is better to be explored on your own. Overall, 10/10: a definite, recommended read.

🌸Fairy Tales for the Fallen by indiavolowetrust

I haven't fully devoured all of the stories in the collection yet, but the ones I've read (Her Name Was Thousand Eyes is my favourite) was such a really good spin on dark fairy tales (Obey Me style!). It reminded me of my childhood Little Mermaid picture book for some reason. Probably the writing style(the author's writing reads a lot like a storybook) The one I had was Hans Christian Andersen's (aka the OG) version and the ending was rather...dark for a 5 year old lol. It was a big part of my life though and was probably the precursor for my affinity with sad stories haha.

🌸TieGuanYin by Taciturn

Like tea on a tiring day, Taciturn's writing style feels very homey, cozy and familiar. I love rereading this oneshot when I'm having a shitty day and imagining myself having tea with Barbatos haha. Ever had pieces of art or literature that just...relaxes you when you consume it? This one is one of my, as the youngsters say, "comfort fic" haha.

🌸glass half empty; glass half full by unagis

I love unagis' fics.♡ I also love her Childe fics. The concepts she comes up with, as well as how she delivers it is *chef kiss*. Admittedly, I read this one when I was still a Satan stan, with all the suspicions and doubts about Solomon's intentions still rampant within me. Reading him blush and become flustered is CUTE and aaaaa this whole fic is just really cute.🥺♡

🌸The Eternal Storm by @sondepoch

Sondepoch's Satan oneshot was the very first fic I read in the OM fandom so it has a special place in my heart~ I remembered how awkward it was to skim through the Satan filters, looking for a gen fic/SFW fic because around that time, most OM fics are smut (no shade on smut ofc, I'm just super uncomfortable reading them unless the writing is really pretty or there's something else going on in the story). Finding GEN AND A WELL-WRITTEN CHARACTER STUDY about my (former) favourite OM character was like I hit the jackpot. I remembered that feeling really well haha. My bias with one of my favourite forms of fic (char. study) aside, Sondepoch's writing is easy on the eyes and is definitely a great entry for anyone who wants to be in the OM fandom.

🌸Read Me by GENE515

One of my more recent reads and definitely worth a mention!♡ Read Me was a beautifully written, heartfelt two-shot about Lucifer's love, which he tried his best to express in penned words. Probably because of my own love letter-themed OM series, this one really stuck to me haha. The author is also really sweet. :3

🌸Schrodinger by fickleminder

I read this one around Halloween and it definitely fit the occasion. Schrodinger was such a great thriller/horror fic with how it set its unsettling atmosphere from the very beginning--the way fickleminder's writing just sucks you in and makes you bystand the whole ordeal between Belphegor and MC was just...so suspenseful? Nail biting? Creepy (in a good way ofc)? I won't spoil the ending, but the process and way they tackled it was a lot scarier than what I was initially bracing myself for.

🌸Siberia by @polandspringz

Seeing another Obey Me mystery in AO3 really hyped me up! Polandspringz did a spectacular job in writing this series and I can relate so much with their experiences in writing for mystery. Their writing style is easy on the eyes--I also really liked how they characterised the OM characters I have read on their series so far. There's still quite a lot of stuff left in speculation (from my most recent reading at least), and I really look forward to see how everything unfolds!

🌸Tetris Syndrome by apocketfulofposies (NSFW)

I am very very uncomfortable with smut content, so the smut I've read can be counted on one hand. ;; That is to say, TS is one of the few smut that I really, really enjoyed. First of all, Levi's characterisation is on point. It was really really interesting to get in his head and read about his thought process. What is envy? And how much does the sin of envy really define him?

I really enjoyed Levi's internalisations, as well as the author's writing style. If you want smut with a brooding, jealous otaku boy, I really recommend this one!

#obey me #obey me fic #fic recommendation

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playlistmusings · 4 years ago

Text

I am sick of the chase But I'm stupid in love (And there's nothing I can do)

1,571 words

Jude Duarte x Cardan Greenbriar

Response to a prompt from @charrise : “ Do you accept fanfic prompts? Because I got an idea it’s post TWK and Cardan’s wondering why Jude won’t come back and then he begins to reevaluate how he treated Jude in the past? And he realizes he treated Nicasia like a queen and Jude like dirt and he begins to wonder if Jude’s not coming back because of him and he begins to regret how he treated her?”

Cardan was pacing. It was an unfortunate habit he had picked up since becoming king, the actual king that is, one without a meddling seneschal secretly working behind the scenes. It had started at some point while Jude had been held captive by Queen Orlagh, when his days bled together because of repetitive meetings and his nights bled together because of the worry that had filled the pit of his stomach. It felt odd to be alone with his thoughts, usually when things got bad, Cardan made a point to surround himself with people and vices, in an effort to escape his mind. But those days, where all he could think about was Jude and getting her back safely, it felt wrong to surround himself with people he knew she would hate, doing things that would cause her to look at him with disdain. So, he paced.

He had hoped that the habit would be forgotten when he got her back. When he slipped the ring on her finger and proclaimed her his queen, hoping that meant that instead of pacing at night he would hold her body to his and never worry about her safety again. But then she had killed Balekin and Queen Orlagh had demanded a punishment and he had exiled her.

It had been far too long since then, far too long since Cardan had heard her voice or saw her face, and, yet she still filled his mind. He felt like when he was younger, writing Jude, Jude, Jude over and over again on paper before hiding it away in books, as if he could stop his thoughts from controlling him by forcing them onto paper. He had tried that since her exile. Writing long winded prose explaining that she should come back, that she should come home. He had not-so-subtly hinted at the loophole he had left, writing until such time as she is pardoned by the crown with such emphasis on the last word of the phrase, that he knew that lest she had, somehow, never received a single letter, then she had to understand his meaning. So he was forced to assume that she understood his meaning and chose to ignore it, chose to ignore him.

That fact hurt him more than he would admit. Throughout the whole time he had known Jude, he didn’t mind that she hated him, in fact, it usually made it easier for him, knowing that she thought of him at all, even if her thoughts were colored with anger and hatred. This time though, when he had, for once, been trying to help her, when he thought she should finally see through the cruelty and understand he didn’t want to hurt her, he just wanted her. Jude. The High Queen. His queen.

So he paced. And contemplated writing another letter.

Eventually he decided against it, less so because he thought it'd be best not to, but because the sun was slowly moving up in the sky and he knew he only had a few short hours until he’d be forced to go to a meeting and then another and end the evening with a revel. Slipping under the spider silk sheets, Cardan forced thoughts of Jude out of his mind and focused on ignoring the way his bed felt too big and cold and lonely.

-----

Cardan felt his crown tipping precariously off the edge of his head as he sat haphazardly on his throne. He was aware that he should be smiling, laughing, dancing, something other than frowning on his throne, wishing he could get drunk without seeing Jude every time he closed his eyes. To be fair, Jude was usually hidden behind his eyelids, but when he was less than sober, his mind muddy with alcohol and his inhibitions lowered, he found that her face was more vivid, that he could feel the intensity of her glare as if she were right next to him. So he didn’t drink.

He was slightly aware of Locke and Taryn and Nicasia off to his side, walking towards him with drinks in their hands and mischief in their eyes. As they approached the throne, Cardan saw Locke’s eyes catch on a faerie walking past, clearly enamored and lust driven, despite his wife’s presence at his side. It was no surprise that Locke split from the trio, leaving Taryn to wander away pretending that she wasn’t hurt by his actions. So only Nicasia was left to approach his throne, nodding her head in a small acknowledgement of his position before speaking.

“My King, wouldn’t you rather be dancing or doing something more enjoyable than sitting on your throne all alone?”

Cardan could feel a part of himself come to the surface, the other side of him reserved for his school friends and members of the court that reeked of self-importance, yet polite in the way only someone raised from birth to be a part of the gentry could master. The frown slipped from his face as he replied, “Of course, but, alas, a king must make time for his subjects to come to him with their problems.”

Cardan refused to acknowledge that when Jude was seneschal times like these were secretly one of his favorites. He would put on airs while drinking and laughing, all the while knowing Jude would always be by his side, whispering into his ear exactly what he should say and do. Now, it felt like a slap in the face to only have Nicasia by his side, someone he couldn’t banter with or insult or antagonize. The thought shot a painful jolt through his heart. Imagining the rest of his life like this: lonely, boring, sad, and all because of his actions. It was something he was loath to admit, that it was his words that caused Jude to leave, even if a part of him knew that it was a risk when he said those words on the beach, a bigger part of him hoped it wouldn’t be true. And he was wrong, so instead he was left alone with Nicasia and her pretty smiles and flirtatious words, all the while wishing she were someone else.

Something about the moment reminded him of all the revels before this mess, before the bloody coronation and Jude’s secret plot and everything, when him, Nicasia, Locke, and Valerian would walk through these same rooms, demanding respect and hurting those who refused to give it. It almost felt nice to be lost in those memories, of trysts and teenage foolishness, until Jude’s face worked its way into the memories. For every moment of satisfaction he got, there was a memory of Jude’s frown or hate shooting from her eyes, burning into his heart. It was enough for him to mumble some half-hearted apology to the direction of Nicasia as he slipped from the room into the halls that led to his chambers.

His mind felt too full, as he thought through all the times he had antagonized or hurt Jude. Flashes of her face stubbornly refusing to show weakness as he watched Valerian force faerie fruit into her mouth, glimpses of her saving Taryn from drowning in the river, all of it clicking into place in a horrid montage of his misdeeds. What struck him the hardest is that for every memory of the pain he caused Jude, there was Nicasia, standing by his side laughing or smiling, perfectly happy. Even as she toyed with his heart, leaving him for Locke, he had shown Nicasia respect and knew that she would be there as a friend— regardless of how messed up his definition of the word was. It hurt, finally acknowledging that while he only saw the kind gestures, he gave Jude, pricking her so she would stop suffering from the faerie fruit induced madness, offering her an out from his antagonizing, she must only remember the pain that he had caused, all the while treating someone half as deserving of his love and compassion more kindness than her.

It suddenly made sense why she didn’t respond to his letters or come back to him. Because even if he had thought he made his loophole clear, even if he had exaggerated the point in his letters time and time again, Jude was used to seeing the worst parts of him, of being blinded by the pain and unaware of the miniscule efforts he had made to help her.

Every memory stung like an arrow lodging its way into his skin, knowing that all of his actions were horrible, that he was horrible and cruel. Knowing that Jude must think of him as horrible and cruel, and that she was right to believe it. But the realization that right when he had earned her trust, right when Jude had seemed to let go of the memories of Cardan’s cruelty, he had exiled her, had denied her as his queen, in front of Orlagh and Nicasia, struck his heart like a dagger. And now she wasn’t coming back, because of him. Because he was everything she must think him to be, a wicked king, undeserving of love or respect, least of all from her.

So, when he arrived back in his room, thinking of all his regrets, refusing to let himself remember anything but the truth of how he hurt the one woman he would do anything for, he paced.

————

So, I lied, and I wrote this all in one sitting instead of starting my school work. Which means that I am apparently better at getting things written in a timely matter than I thought I was, but I am also apologetic if this isn’t the best because I should probably edit it more, but oh well. Anyways, I hope you liked it and that it was sort of what you had in mind, I feel like I’m not that good at writing angst but I tried my best :) (Title from Killer by Phoebe Bridgers, which side note I feel like is such a Jude and Cardan song but that may just be because I listened to Stranger In The Alps while reading this series oops)

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