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of fucking course

mutuals to form a sillybandz trading empire with

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Lady of poison and suffering

ngl i kinda vibe with it, it sounds very fancy

thanks for the tag! @themistressofrevels7

tagging: @braiawrites and anyone else who wants to!!

QUEEN OF PAIN AND MADNESS BITCHES!!!!!!!!

(I’m really sorry this one only has one gender neutral option)

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I’m technically just starting Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo (because I wanted to read S&B and SoC before watching the show but ended up caving in and binging it lol) but I have exams this next week so we’ll see how that goes hahaha

tagging anyone who wants to!

I am curious as to what you guys are reading so reblog this with the name of the book which you are currently reading.

happy reading!

Tagging : @the-blackdale @shatdoesntevenknow @niathesanctuary-bolastair-kanej @dustandshadowsworld @reyna-herondale @reyna-morozova @beer-is-shitposting @im-someone-i-guess

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Fic Master List

Also find me on Ao3

Ongoing:

nothing at the moment :)

Completed:

The Folk of the Air: 

Everyone knows you're the way to my heart

5,606 words, Jurdan, post-tCP, mostly fluff/ humor with some angst

Chapters:

(1)Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

I am sick of the chase, But I’m stupid in love (And there’s nothing I can do)

1,571 words, Jurdan, post-tWK, angst

I had him right where I wanted him

3,252 words, Jurdan, post-tQoN (technically, but there are no spoilers past tWK), fluff

I was housed by your warmth, Thus transformed, By your grounded and giving

2,309 words, Jurdan, post-tQoN, fluff and a bit of angst

Make your mark on me (a golden tattoo)

2,531 words, Jurdan, post-tQoN, fluff

I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

1,347 words, Jurdan, post-tQoN, fluff

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honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or unsweetened iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafes // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or watercolor // fairy lights or candles

Thank you so much!

Tagging anyone who wants to play!

tagged by @goodbi-bitch

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or unsweetened iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafes // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or watercolor // fairy lights or candles

@nights-in-white-satin @fairiesandstarlight @thislookinyoureyes @anybody else who wants to

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Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 5)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 5- And I've never seen you smiling so big

Cardan felt like he was floating, or perhaps this was the most grounded he had felt in years. Jude looked dazed and a little terrified, her eyes fixed on his palm flat on her thigh. Cardan moved to stand up, to leave the room before he did something he regretted, like telling her that he knew she loved him-- or even worse, told her that he loved her-- but as his fingers instinctively flexed on her thigh as he moved to rise out of his seat, Jude let out a soft gasp and Cardan knew this was it. This would be a defining moment, for worse or for better, something was going to change and Cardan couldn't do anything to stop it.

Jude's eyes moved up from her thigh to look up at Cardan, full of so many different emotions as they worked their way up his chest and made Cardan uncharacteristically self conscious of the way his top four buttons were undone, exposing chains and necklace that glittered over top his chest. As her gaze reached his neck her soft voice filled the air, "Cardan? Why do you have the same necklace as me?"

"What?" He removed his hand from her leg and walked away from her spot at the table, annoyed that all the build up was seemingly for nothing, that Jude would brush all their, her, feelings under the rug and pretend like nothing had happened.

As the pain from the necklace rose steadily on his chest, he heard Jude stand up behind him. When she spoke he could tell by the tension between her words that her hands were undoubtedly in tight fists, swinging at her sides as she paced, through the tension between her words. "I just-- Cardan, we have the same damn necklace. The one I got from the Roach to find you. I just don't understand why you would have a tracking necklace and still be so determined to avoid me. It just doesn't make any sense."

Cardan turned around to face her again, confusion coloring his face, briefly wondering what the actual fuck Jude was rambling about before she cut off his train of thought.

"Oh no, no, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry-- I didn't even think that-- Sorry, I just, sorry." Her eyes pierced his soul while she said the last word, looking as close to sincere as Cardan could ever imagine Jude being.

"Jude, what are you talking about?"

If it were possible for Jude to look even more embarrassed and apologetic, that's what happened as the words left Cardan's mouth. Her eyes refused to meet his as the next words spilled out.

"I didn't even think that maybe you were trying to find someone else. I was so caught up in myself and you and me that I didn’t even think that maybe you would be looking for someone else. I mean, you're constantly around people, why would you even care about me? Why wouldn't you have a necklace to know where a friendwas?" The word friend came out sounding like she had poison on her lips, as if the only thing stopping her from spitting it out at his face was the chaos in her mind. And that's when it clicked into place.

Jude was jealous. She was jealous of some unnamed, unknown-- nonexistent, Cardan's mind supplied-- person that took up his time and, he barely let himself think, space in his heart. Cardan had to struggle not to laugh, he knew she loved him and he loved her and here they were, about to argue about a stupid necklace and pretend like they both weren't going insane every time they saw eachother.

"Jude." Cardan's voice rang out into the empty room. "Jude, what are you going on about? I'm not tracking anyone."

Jude rubbed her forehead, looking less apologetic and more exasperated. "Cardan I don't know what dumb loophole meant you could say that and not lie, but I don't care, you don't need to deceive me." Before Cardan really knew what was happening, Jude was walking towards him, pulling a chain around his neck towards her when she reached him. "I have the same necklace. The Roach gave it to me to track you, because you're a dick who always hides from me. So you can't fool me, I already know it heats up around the person you're looking for."

Cardan could barely look down at the pendant in her hands, her proximity suffocated him in a way he never wanted to forget. "Jude, I don't know why you think that's a tracker. It's one of the Sensum necklaces, it alerts you of people's true feelings." As the words left his mouth, Cardan realized why the name of the necklace had sounded so familiar. He thought of the faint memories of fairies around him speaking about the Sensum necklaces, a pair of necklaces with powerful charms meant to clarify feelings between people, meant to only work in conjunction with eachother. Which meant that-- "Jude, your necklace doesn't track me."

Cardan felt himself shift on his feet as Jude gazed expectantly up at him. This was it. This was the moment Cardan could choose to reveal everything, to stop hiding from the truth, from Jude.

"Why don't we sit while I explain." There was no way he would be able to get through this with her so close, not with her hands inches from his burning skin. Cardan moved towards his forgotten seat at the oak table, reaching out to turn Jude's chair towards his before she sat.

When they were seated, Jude looking at him in a way that screamed just get to the damn point and nearly made Cardan smile, it was just so Jude. He cleared his throat once before starting. "Have you ever heard of the Sensum necklaces?" Jude shook her head, confirming what Cardan had already assumed. "Okay, well, they were made and charmed a long time ago, before anyone could remember. They have a unique charm, one that only works when both necklaces are being worn by separate people."

At this Jude seemed to absent mindedly pull at the chain around her neck, revealing the counterpart to his necklace that was resting beneath her shirt all this time, he forced his eyes away from her fingertips resting at her neck, looking past her at the wall. Cardan let out a deep breath before continuing, "So, they were charmed to show people's true feelings. So, if the person wearing the other necklace had feelings of resentment or anger then your necklace would cool. Some people said they would sometimes get so cold that they would get frostbite, especially in close proximity to the other wearer, because that, for whatever reason, is another thing they do-- they get stronger as they get closer."

Cardan risked a look at Jude's face, where she looked like she knew something big was about to happen, before she abruptly stood, reaching out towards Cardan's chest for the second time that day. As her fingertips brushed his skin, the heat around his pendant evaporated and Cardan looked deep into her eyes. They were shining and Cardan had just enough time to think about how utterly fucked he was before she spoke.

"What does it mean if they get warmer around the other necklace?"

Cardan nearly groaned as she got even closer as the words left her lips, the breath from them washing over his face. Cardan forced himself to think straight, focusing far harder than he should at getting four words out. "I think you know."

At this Jude closed the, admittedly, very short distance between them, pushing her lips to his. Cardan could vaguely register her hands in his hair and the way his own hands reached towards her waist to pull her closer to him, onto his lap. It was even better than their first kiss all that time ago, where he was desperate and a little drunk and focused on so much more than the way her lips felt against his own. After what felt like forever Jude pulled away, just barely, before standing and pulling Cardan up, ignoring the way he made a sound of reluctance and confusion, "For fuck's sake Cardan, I'm not going to let our first, second, and third kisses to all involve me forcing myself on you while you're sitting in a chair."

Cardan could barely realize what she was saying, his mind lingering on the way she said third kiss, the way she was going to let him kiss her again. With that single thought in his mind, he surged forward, pushing Jude towards the table until her legs knocked against the wood, savoring the gasp she let out when his hands held her sides. He leaned forward, "Well, no, of course not, we can't have that." Cardan ground out, his mouth moving to kiss beside her ear before moving down her jaw. "How else am I supposed to get you to finally admit that you love me if you have all the power?"

Jude didn't waste a second before spinning them, shoving Cardan's hip against the thick oak. Her lips ghosted his as she whispered, "Don't lie, Cardan. We both know that I always have all the power."

Her lips against his consumed Cardan's thoughts, her hands moving up to his neck, tugging him down slightly by the pendant resting against his chest. He let his hands wander, brushing against her back, her shoulder blades, before tugging her even closer with a firm hand resting on the nape of her neck. As Jude gasped into his mouth, she whispered, "But I don't think you'll have much trouble convincing me to admit that I love you."

Cardan groaned before moving to kiss away her smirk and deciding that he must be dreaming because there was no other way to account for the way his stomach fluttered at her words or how his chest grew warm even with her hands tugging his face towards hers. Cardan didn't think he could ever get sick of this, of the way Jude was finally so close.

He pulled away, breathing deeply and staring into Jude's eyes, "I love you, too."

The smile in Jude's next kiss was something Cardan couldn't forget even if he wanted to.

@jurdanhell @braiawrites

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Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 4)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 4- But I feel something when I see you now

Jude didn't know whether she loved or hated the pendant. On one hand it was proving to be immensely helpful so far, over the past week the longest it had taken her to find Cardan was thirty minutes, but that had more to do with the way he was sprawled in the grass of the gardens nearly a mile away from the throne room where she started looking than anything else. On the other hand, it was absolutely burning her. She couldn't figure out why a simple tracking charm would ever need to have such powerful, insistent heat, after all it was pretty easy to figure out that he was right there. At first, she told herself the pain was manageable enough, that the burning on her sternum could be ignored, but very quickly her resolve broke down, causing her to sometimes wish that she didn't need to be with Cardan, that she could avoid the heat blooming across her chest for just a moment, even if it meant giving up her very unstable control over the kingdom.

But no matter what she wished about getting rid of the heat and telling herself that she could just search for Cardan like she always has, whenever she got close to lifting the small chain from around her neck something in her stopped her, and she couldn't do it. This was ruining her. Cardan was ruining her. At first with his annoying games, then his refusal to listen or help her, and now with something entirely more than that, something that he technically had nothing to do with. If Jude was honest with herself, which only happened occasionally, while she was alone at night, she could admit that the pain was manageable, but the way it caused her to focus on Cardan even more than she already did was what made things truly unbearable. Because when she really focused on him, it was really hard to remind herself that she hated him.

-----

The worst day, the catalyst some might say, started out normal. Jude woke up and organized her things for the day, making a mental list of all the things she had to do, making a written list of all the things Cardan needed to do, and then set out to finish a few small tasks before a meeting with advisors.

It was only when the time of the meeting neared and she needed to find Cardan that things started going downhill. At first, she followed the rising heat of the pendant to find him lounging on his throne. For anyone else it would have been a wonderful sight, Cardan sitting on his throne, crown precariously balancing atop his hair, a golden glass of wine in one hand, a parchment in the other, the look of resolute focus spread across his face-- he looked positively kingly (and devastatingly handsome). But not to Jude, definitely not, she reminded herself, Cardan is an asshole, a pain in my ass, a--

And then he looked up, locking eyes with Jude, a foreign look gleaming in his dark irises, as if he had some secret that only he knew, like he could make Jude give into anything with a single glance-- it took Jude a moment longer than she'd like to admit to tell herself that she decidedly would not give into Cardan's wishes just because he looked at her like that.

And as soon as their moment-- if that's what you would even call it, Jude's mind commented-- began, it was over, and Cardan was walking towards Jude, causing the pendant against her chest to heat so much that she thought it must be glowing. When he reached her, he was perfectly polite-- almost too polite-- asking her if she was walking to their meeting, if she would care to walk with him and saying he had read the new reports and wanted her opinion on them before his other counselors tried to change the truth. It was absurd, it was enough to make Jude almost forget that he hated her, that she hated him.

But as terrible as that walk was-- Cardan's lilting voice carrying two sides of a conversation about some thing or another, his steps falling in line with Jude's no matter how she tried to change the pace and the necklace burning her chest-- Jude should have known it'd get worse during the meeting.

Initially, it was nothing new, just Cardan lazing in a seat while she tried to focus on the words of various counselors, but then he got so close. Cardan's chair was pushed right next to hers, in a way that made her wonder how no one else was noticing it, in a way that made the necklace seem to pulse with stifling heat that drew her attention away from everything that wasn't him.

It was awful. It was painful. It was so much and somehow, some dark and spiteful thing that controlled Jude's mind commented, it wasn't enough. Because he was right there and yet he couldn't even do her the favor of just doing something, anything. Not a brush of his fingertips or a knock of his foot against hers-- nothing. It was a special type of hell that Jude never knew she had to worry about.

And then, right when some advisor was droning on about something that she should've definitely been paying attention to, his fingers grazed her thigh. It was barely there, something so soft that she could barely feel it with her clothes in the way, almost as if he was trying to hold himself back. It was barely there and yet Jude's world felt like it had frozen, like it had stopped spinning on its axis, as if this was it. It all felt so dumb to her, was she really that caught up in all of this, in Cardan, that just a touch could make her feel like her whole world had so drastically changed. But then it hit her, right as his last finger left her leg-- she was vague aware that he was now gesturing airily and talking about something, probably whatever this meeting was about, she couldn't even remember anymore, but that wasn't important anymore, what was important was the way the heat returned to her sternum the second his fingers stopped touching her. A heat she hadn’t noticed had ever gone away until it came back. Because somehow, in that brief moment, Cardan's touch somehow took more of her attention than anything else, so much that she couldn't notice that something that had been bothering her for days had gone away.

And, now, in the middle of a Goddamn meeting, Jude was focusing on how much she wanted him to touch her again, trying to convince herself it was for the sake of getting rid of the heat instead of just because, just because she wanted to feel like she mattered to him, just because in that moment she felt like she could stop shoving all her feelings down. It was truly hell. Some sort of special hell, made just for Jude, taunting her with the one thing she would never admit had complete control over her. Because right then she let herself realize that it didn't matter if she had a geas to protect her and she could order Cardan around, he would always be in control, he would always have this hold over her.

Jude tried to clear her thoughts of Cardan and focus back on the meeting, but only got as far as realizing that everyone had left the room before her mind went blank again.

Well, not exactly blank, she had one thought-- a thought that felt oddly reminiscent of that paper she had found all those months ago, with her name written over and over again-- it was just Cardan, Cardan, Cardan over and over in her mind.

His hand was on her leg again. Firmer, more confident than the last time. Less of a self-indulgent brush of fingertips and more of a grasp, of a purposeful action meant to get her attention. Jude felt like she was going to internally combust. This would be her downfall, Cardan's hand on her thigh, thoughts of love and attraction and everything in between filling her head. And then she looked up into his eyes and knew she was doomed in the best way possible.

@jurdanhell @yourlocalautisticoverlord

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quick announcement:

I’m not going to be uploading a chapter this week because it’s been a rough week for me mental health wise. Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to it, but I just needed a break for a bit, but I promise I’ll be back next week!

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Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 3)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 3- Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect

Cardan was drunk. But that's nothing new or exciting, so he couldn't be bothered to bring himself to care that he shouldn't be signing state documents while tipsy. He had seen Jude exit the Court of Shadows a few minutes ago and was vaguely aware that the Roach had followed her out of the training room but he wasn't sober enough to consider why the Roach was staring at him with a calculating look. It took a slow five minutes before the Roach finally spoke, "I have something for you, if you want it."

Cardan looked up at the Roach, confused as to why the Roach would have anything for him-- after all, Cardan was the High King of Elfhame and could get his hands on anything he could ever want. He was weary of most gifts, especially those that he didn't see coming, because everything in Faerie held a second, secret-- and usually sinister-- meaning, but there was no reason he should be wary of the Roach, his teacher, his friend. He made up his mind to at least see what it was before deciding one way or the other, he owed the Roach at least that much trust. "What is it?"

The Roach gave a mischievous smirk before reaching into a pocket and stepping closer to the table. In his hand he held a sparking pendant on a small gold chain, the stone on the pendant glimmered in the dim light of the room and somewhere in the back of his mind, Cardan felt a pull towards it. The Roach let the necklace fall through his fingers onto one of the parchments that Cardan had set aside on the table, before reaching into his jacket pocket. As Cardan gingering picked up the necklace, turning the pendant over in his fingers, feeling the smooth surface of the stone against his fingertips. The Roach held a folded piece of paper out to Cardan, one of the edges was jagged as if it were torn from a book.

"It's one of the Sensum necklaces. It senses people's true feelings," The Roach said simply, before passing Cardan the paper. "This is a passage about it."

Cardan took the paper from his hand, feeling as if he had heard of the necklace somewhere, but not registering what exactly the necklace did. Even if the Roach's explanation was brief, it wasn't as if he could lie nor did Cardan think the Roach was trying to deceive him, and he did give him a whole passage with the details-- but Cardan didn't think he could convince himself to read it, especially not with the possibility of doing something more enticing, like drinking himself senseless at a revel or antagonizing Jude.

At the prompting of a noncommittal grunt from Cardan, the Roach continued on explaining, "It'll heat up with feelings of love or adoration and cool if there are feelings of resentment or dislike."

Cardan thought of all the times he could have solved so many problems quickly if he knew how truly felt-- from receiving gifts at revels to gauging whether his advisors were sincere. It certainly couldn't hurt to wear the necklace, even if the Roach wasn't being exact with his language. So, with little thought he slipped the chain over his head and picked up the parchments he left discarded on the table, including the passage the Roach had handed him, and uttered a quick "thanks" before retreating back to his chambers for the night.

-----

The next morning, Cardan lounged in bed, thinking of all the duties he was going to attempt to avoid today and how he was going to avoid Jude from dragging him to perform said duties. Lately, he had prided himself in evading her, sneaking to the palace gardens or the Court of Shadows or empty offices and chambers. He would spend hours flipping through long forgotten books or drinking wine while wandering in order to avoid her persistent nagging. Cardan knew he should be somewhat forgiving and helpful, after all Jude was practically running Elfhame single-handedly from behind his shadow and she wasn't asking much from him. But more importantly, Cardan was stubborn and knew if he started giving into what Jude wanted, he'd never stop, and she already had too much power over him-- even without being able to compel him to follow any of her orders.

Cardan's hand drifted down to the pendant hanging from his neck distantly wondering whether it would heat or cool in Jude's presence, whether her thinly veiled annoyance was really a coping mechanism for her, just as it was for him. Whether she felt the same about him but was simply too scared or too stubborn to admit it. Whether that one kiss with her knife against his throat meant even half as much to her as it did to him-- and in the deep recess of his mind he let himself wonder whether she wanted to kiss him again.

Deep down Cardan knew he wouldn't ever answer any of these questions because he only vague understood the necklace. After all, he had only been wearing the necklace for one night and part of the morning, but he already felt a steady heat. He was confused as to why the necklace would heat if there was no one in his chambers but thought that it could perhaps be the guards outside his doors or servants scurrying through secret hallways that hid behind his walls. More importantly, the necklace never got hot enough for him to consider finding the paper the Roach had given him.

That was until Jude entered his room. For a short moment, Cardan registered that he shouldn't be surprised by the searing pain against his sternum, because the necklace had been steadily rising in temperature for the past few minutes. But it was something about the way the necklace grew to an uncomfortable heat right as Jude swung the doors to his bedroom open that threw him off. But Cardan didn't dwell on that for too long because he quickly realized something much more important: Jude was the only person in the room and that meant that the person loved him. Jude loved him.

@yourlocalautisticoverlord @jurdanhell

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Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 2)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 2- Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered

Jude was sick of Cardan. She was sick of being his puppet-master, she was sick of making clever commands for him to follow, sick of ruling in his stead and getting none of the credit. She was tired and angry and anxious for all sorts of reasons but she knew that nothing, nothing, could ever evoke the intense emotions that a single thought of Cardan could. He was insufferable and irresponsible and so many other things that it made Jude want to rip her hair out or push a knife through his chest-- that is if she could even find him. Because, of course, right when things were looking up-- advisors treating her like a person and not a schoolgirl, tensions between Elfame and other lands finally starting to diminish, getting full nights of sleep-- Cardan started disappearing. It's not like Jude even cared where he was-- probably off with a group of pretty faeries having the time of his life, she thought with a painful twist in her gut before reminding herself that she didn't care what (or who, her mind provided, unhelpfully) he did-- it was that he was always disappearing when she needed to brief him before a meeting or get him to sign important documents. And she could never find him. It always ended with Jude giving up and going to the meeting without him or winding her way to his chambers to leave parchments scattered on a side table with a quill and ink next to them.

It was awful. Jude had been struggling to get him to listen to her when she told him to just cooperate. And even if she wanted to take the easy way out and just order Cardan to do his work, she would have to be able to find him first. She couldn't think of any solutions to her problem, except perhaps to order him to stay with her all the time. That however, wouldn't even work when she thought it through. After all, even if all of Elfhame thought she was his closest advisor, it would be suspicious if he never left her side. And besides, even if she could justify potentially putting her whole plan at risk by ordering him to something that gave her so much control, the thought of spending one day-- much less months-- with Cardan practically shackled to her was already making her miserable. So, she suffered his disappearing acts and hoped beyond measure that he would grow bored of his childish antics sooner rather than later.

The most infuriating things by far were the ones like now, where Jude had spent hours walking through corridors searching for Cardan and finally found him when she gave up and went to the Court of Shadows-- the place that she had first looked. He was leisurely propped on a chair by the table, drinking some sort of potent wine, while speaking to the Roach, laughing and looking far too comfortable for someone who was supposed to be signing important documents at the moment. And of course, Cardan didn't even have the piece of mind to look apologetic when Jude narrowed his eyes at him and called him all sorts of names under her breath before throwing a stack of paper at his chest.

As Jude left Cardan at the table, where he was now fumbling to pick the papers up from where they fluttered around him on the floor, the Roach stood to follow her into the training room. Knowing what was coming, the Roach stood off to the side of the room while Jude breathed deeply to try to calm her mind, before giving up and unsheathing Nightfell and slashing a practice dummy in half.

"Stupid Cardan and his stupid wandering and stupid inability to do anything that could be interpreted as helpful." Jude punctuated every phrase with another hit to the bottom half of the dummy that remained standing.

The Roach stood, arms crossed, leaning against the wall, watching Jude slaughter the dummy, before Jude spun to face him.

With Nightfell pointed dangerously close to his neck and a viscous glint in her eyes Jude yelled, "What do you even want?  Don't you have better things to do than to just stand there and stare?  Weren't you too busy laughing and drinking with Cardan to even tell me where he was?"

The Roach simply pushed himself off the wall to say, with a calm tone that only frustrated Jude even more, "Why does Cardan disappearing even bother you? It's not like he's going out and getting hurt or actually missing meetings?"

Jude hated him for asking that. In some part of her mind she knew she was only angry because she had been asking herself those same questions for days now and couldn't find any answer that didn't frustrate or confuse her. But instead of voicing any of this or showing vulnerability, Jude lowered Nightfell and sighed, "Because I need to work, because he needs to work, and if I can't even find him then how can either of us keep this place running?"

Later, with the gift of hindsight, Jude would note that the Roach's eyes had lit up in some terrifying way at these words, as if she had fallen into some brilliant trap, but in the moment she couldn't even bring herself to notice the slight upturning of his lips, her mind filled with frustration and anger.

"You just want to be able to know where he is? That's it?"

Jude nodded at the Roach's words, "I mean, if I could just find him when I needed to, then it would solve about ninety percent of my problems."

"Well, lucky for you, my dear, I have the perfect thing. I just found--" (stole, Jude filled in) "-- it yesterday." He pulled one of the pendants looped on a chain from a pocket.

Jude eyed it wearily, trying to think despite the fog of anger that had clouded her rational thought all day. On one hand, Jude was constantly aware that gifts from faeries were dangerous, especially if you didn’t know who made it or its purpose. But on another hand, Jude was fed up and tired of having to find all the solutions herself, and here the Roach was, someone who Jude trusted with more than her life, giving her an easy answer. So before she could think through rash actions she snatched the chain and asked "How does it work?"

"It should get warmer as he nears. But it only--" Before she heard the Roach's warning, Jude was out of the training room, stalking past Cardan where he sat signing documents at the table, satisfied that she finally solved a problem. As Jude walked back to her room, she slipped the necklace over her head while thinking about falling into bed and dreaming of days that didn't include searching for Cardan-- and definitely did not include the stupid way her stomach fluttered when she heard him laughing when she had found him today. 

tag list:

@jurdanhell @yourlocalautisticoverlord

[playlistmusings]

thank you so much you are so sweet! i will definitely add you to the tag list!

Everyone knows you're the way to my heart

(1) Prologue (2) (3) (4) (5)

Chapter 1- Prologue

Ever since High King Cardan's rise to the throne, and Jude's subsequent rise to power at his right hand, the people of Elfhame became increasingly aware of two things. The first was while Cardan and Jude acted like enemies, they were hopelessly in love with each other. The second was that the only people who couldn't understand this were Cardan and Jude themselves. And no one understood or had to deal with the consequences of these to things more than the Court of Shadows.

The Bomb argued that they would realize someday but it was wrong to interfere with other people's lives. The Ghost laughed and said that all the Court of Shadows did was interfere with people's lives. The Roach looked at both of them and said that he would rather get tortured than listen to Cardan complain about Jude ever again so he didn't care if it was his place and started to devise a plan.

During all of his years thieving and learning about things that people wanted to keep a secret, the Bomb had encountered quite a few interesting trinkets, but in the moment he could only think of one thing-- well, technically, it was two things-- that would work for their current predicament. Granted, he'd only ever read about it, but he'd be damned if him, the Bomb, and the Ghost couldn't steal some jewelry from an unsuspecting vault.

The necklaces were something of legend. Two matching pendants that could distinguish the true feelings between the two wearers. They were said to be created to solve issues of the heart, to warm when the other wearer loved you or to burn like ice if they held feelings of resentment or dislike. Some people even claimed they would grow more intense the closer the two wearers got, until the wearers would touch and the heat or chill would disappear. And if Cardan and Jude could avoid their feelings while they literally burned each other, then the Roach didn't know how things could get more obvious, barring locking them in a room and screaming "You idiots love each other! Now talk!"

And so, two days later, the Court of Shadows-- minus their king and the Queen, of course-- were back in their hidden rooms, holding two jeweled pendants and waiting for the perfect time to execute their plan.

[playlistmusings]

Everyone knows you're the way to my heart (Chapter 1)

(1) Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Chapter 1- Prologue

Ever since High King Cardan's rise to the throne, and Jude's subsequent rise to power at his right hand, the people of Elfhame became increasingly aware of two things. The first was while Cardan and Jude acted like enemies, they were hopelessly in love with each other. The second was that the only people who couldn't understand this were Cardan and Jude themselves. And no one understood or had to deal with the consequences of these to things more than the Court of Shadows.

The Bomb argued that they would realize someday but it was wrong to interfere with other people's lives. The Ghost laughed and said that all the Court of Shadows did was interfere with people's lives. The Roach looked at both of them and said that he would rather get tortured than listen to Cardan complain about Jude ever again so he didn't care if it was his place and started to devise a plan.

During all of his years thieving and learning about things that people wanted to keep a secret, the Roach had encountered quite a few interesting trinkets, but in the moment he could only think of one thing-- well, technically, it was two things-- that would work for their current predicament. Granted, he'd only ever read about it, but he'd be damned if him, the Bomb, and the Ghost couldn't steal some jewelry from an unsuspecting vault.

The necklaces were something of legend. Two matching pendants that could distinguish the true feelings between the two wearers. They were said to be created to solve issues of the heart, to warm when the other wearer loved you or to burn like ice if they held feelings of resentment or dislike. Some people even claimed they would grow more intense the closer the two wearers got, until the wearers would touch and the heat or chill would disappear. And if Cardan and Jude could avoid their feelings while they literally burned each other, then the Roach didn't know how things could get more obvious, barring locking them in a room and screaming "You idiots love each other! Now talk!"

And so, two days later, the Court of Shadows-- minus their king and the Queen, of course-- were back in their hidden rooms, holding two jeweled pendants and waiting for the perfect time to execute their plan.

[playlistmusings]

Everyone knows you’re the way to my heart

*Completed*

Chapters:

(1)Prologue (2) Yelled down the hall, but nobody answered (3) Always surprised by what I'd do for love, Some things I'll never expect (4) But I feel something when I see you now (5) And I've never seen you smiling so big

Jude Duarte x Cardan Greenbriar

Jude and Cardan love each other so much that they're convinced they hate each other. Everyone else can see through their lies to themselves. So, with the help of some enchanted necklaces, the Court of Shadows decides to solve this problem-- because all the complaining and yearning is really getting old. Ft. Jude and Cardan refusing to have one (1) singular thought about their actual feelings and a very helpful Roach. Set vaguely between the Cruel Prince and the Wicked King.

(title from Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers)

[playlistmusings]

adding onto this with another head canon straight from our dms:

I am a firm believer that at least one of these times Jude screams at Cardan to just go to his room and he can’t do anything but follow her orders (but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t act out somehow) so he yells "okay MOM"

and jude is standing in a hallway yelling "if you want to act like a CHILD then expect to be treated LIKE ONE" with the full parental stance of standing with her arms crossed while glaring at Cardan walking away and muttering under his breath

and all the guards in the hall are confused but also its Jurdan so its not like they don't already have a special brand of being confusing so it just like becomes an unspoken rule that if you see the High King and Jude bickering like actual children to just let it happen

there's a lot of empty time between tcp and twk and it's kind of implied that nothing happened during that time?? and we're just supposed to believe that??

well, sorry holly, no can do, because i've been talking with @playlistmusings and we both agree that while jude has a lot of self control, she also has a lot of sass and there is absolutely no way she would have let Cardan get away with all of his bs and not have retaliated somehow.

So, let me propose to you: Sassy Jude (aka, Jude's Natural Form Before Being Forced To Watch Her Tongue In Faerie).

Because of the deal they made and excluding any external factors such as what other people might think, Jude has near complete control over Cardan. She can literally tell him to do almost anything, and Cardan can't say no.

And I'll be damned if y'all think for A MOMENT that Jude wouldn't have used that bond to order Cardan to his room AT LEAST twice by the end of the first week.

[playlistmusings]

1. Reading a good book

2. Talking with friends

3. Making iced coffee and drinking it with the windows open

4. When strangers smile at you

5. Writing and sending letters

Last ten people in my notifs (minus @yourlocalautisticoverlord )

@themistressofrevels7 @awkwardpotato777 @fuckifiknowdude @rathamster @ihazzaitbad @gardener-totheside @fandomstalker27 @beautypalette @clockworknymph @sokkigarden

Hey !! When you receive this, please reply. Write down 5 things that will make you happy, and then ask the same to the last 10 people in your notifications.✨💕

Hi @clockworknights! Thank you for this!

5 things that make me happy:

The smell of books

Seeing my friends

Mint gum

Calling my grandparents on the phone

Sleeping

@slightlyrebelliouswriter23

@nerviousprincess

@karismerp

@avatardoggo

@papercuttedheart

@moonbeammadness

@yourlocalautisticoverlord

@anonniemousefics

@greenbriarxrose

@clockworknights

[playlistmusings]

A prompt for you, dear friend: Knife Wife Jude teaches Cardan basic self defense (he is very bad at it). Hope your inspiration comes back soon!

I had him right there where I wanted him

3,252 words

Jude Duarte x Cardan Greenbriar

read on ao3 or tumblr

-----

Jude is bored and wants someone to spar with. The only thing stopping her from having a sparring partner is that, Cardan sucks at fighting. Luckily, Jude doesn't mind teaching her husband how to defend himself and Cardan doesn't mind the way Jude teaches him.

Ambiguous time period, could be set during a slightly AU TWK if Cardan and Jude had their shit together and Jude wasn’t exiled or post TQoN with pretty much no changes to canon.

A very big thanks to @yourlocalautisticoverlord for not only giving me the prompt and inspiration but also for letting me steal dialogue from our dms and listening to my screaming while I wrote this. :)

[playlistmusings]

I had him right there where I wanted him

3,252 words

Jude Duarte x Cardan Greenbriar

read on ao3

A very big thanks to @yourlocalautisticoverlord for giving me the prompt: Knife Wife Jude teaches Cardan basic self defense (he is very bad at it).

Jude is bored and wants someone to spar with. The only thing stopping her from having a sparring partner is that, Cardan sucks at fighting. Luckily, Jude doesn't mind teaching her husband how to defend himself and Cardan doesn't mind the way Jude teaches him.

-----

Ambiguous time period, could be set during a slightly AU TWK if Cardan and Jude had their shit together and Jude wasn’t exiled or post TQoN with pretty much no changes to canon.

-----

Cardan felt oddly at peace in the training room of the Court of Shadows. He knew he probably shouldn’t, after all he was surrounded by more weapons than he could count and some of the most gifted and terrifying warriors and spies he’d ever met. But one of those warriors was his wife and everyone else had, at one point or another, actively worked to keep alive and on the throne, so perhaps the peace was justified. So, he sat in a chair off to the side, pieces of parchment in his hands that he read through whilst desperately trying to ignore the group of spies that was taking turns sparring each other. He was just flipping a letter over to read the back—because reports on crop growth were so interesting—when a knife flew past his face and thudded in the wall. Ripped from his thoughts, Cardan looked up and towards the person who threw the knife—of course it was Jude, who else would risk even nicking the High King? —and gave her a sardonic glare, daring her to let a second knife already held between her fingers go flying.

“Come on, Cardan! At least try to spar with us!” Her voice rang out as she grinned at him, as if all it took for Cardan to give up was a taunt and a smile (which, to be fair to Jude, usually that was all it took).

“I have important work to do, you know, as High King of Elfhame I actually have to do things.” He held her gaze, shifting from a glare to a equally sarcastic smile, the type of smile that usually made her jut out her chin and glare at him—the smile that usually followed some offhand comment meant to rile her up and preceded Jude muttering something about how insufferable or intolerable or in- something Cardan was before she crashed her lips into his. But here, in the training room, surrounded by people, Cardan was pretty certain she wouldn’t do anything—after all she always seemed off when publicly showing affection. And if they only kissed or hugged when they were alone, it didn’t really bother Cardan, if anything it made moments like these, where he could taunt her like he did back when they were in school—minus the part where she thought he was genuinely trying to kill or main her—all the more fun. So, as Jude glared, obviously trying to come up with some clever retort, Cardan’s smile softened, turning genuine for only a second before he forced himself to focus on the papers sitting in his lap.

“Ah, yes, High King Cardan has to focus on his work, because he’s so important, and does nothing but focus on work…” Jude muttered half formed insults under her breath while walking to rip her knife from the wall. And if someone saw Cardan smiled wider when he heard her, then he would claim that he was just happy that Elfhame was having a good farming season and it had nothing to do with his wife.

-----

Jude was exhausted. The good kind of exhausted, though, where you could feel your muscles work through every movement, growing stronger as you pushed them. Yet, all of her sparring partners were apparently too exhausted to continue training. One by one, over the course of an hour or so everyone had made their way out of the room, first it was the Roach claiming he had somewhere to be, then it was the Bomb claiming she had a meeting with someone— acting like no one knew that someone was the Roach—and then, all too quickly, it was only Cardan and Jude in the room. This would have been a welcome change, if Cardan weren’t more focused on those God damn papers than Jude. She had been trying to get him out of that chair for hours, taunting him and “accidentally” losing grip of her weapons and strategically letting them fly past his head in an attempt to break his focus on his work and look up at her instead.

So now she stood in the middle of the room, exhausted and exasperated, trying to think of some way she could get Cardan’s attention. At this point it was less about the way he seemed to have a stick up his ass and wouldn’t interact with anyone else, or her wanting her husband to pay attention to her, or anything like that, Jude was filled with determination and spite, if he would work so hard to not pay attention to her then she would refuse to let him do anything other than focus on her.

She pulled her arm back before swinging it forward, letting the thin throwing knife slip out of her fingers and spin through the air past Cardan’s ear and into the wall behind him, it was the second time she had done this today, but luckily that didn’t mean it surprised Cardan any less. His eyes snapped up to hers before wandering around the room briefly, as if just noticing that they were alone in the training room. His gaze latched onto hers right as she started stalking towards him, Nightfell swinging in one hand, a random dagger in the other.

“What are you up to?” His voice was uneasy, but just barely, his discomfort hiding in the waver his voice had as he ended his question—he was trying to hide his discomfort in the way that only Jude could see through.

She kept walking toward him, stopping an arms-length away before holding the dagger out to him, “Take it.”

Cardan looked at her face, as if searching for a reason for her actions, before gingerly taking the dagger from her left hand.

-----

Cardan held the dagger in his right hand, feeling its weight, trying not to slice a finger on the blade. Jude was certainly up to something, he couldn’t figure out what quite yet, perhaps she was going to make him spar her or perhaps she had snapped and was going to kill him here in the Court of Shadows, tucked away where only a select few people could find his body. However, while Cardan was left wondering what was going to happen, he was pretty certain it was happening because he had been very purposefully ignoring her all afternoon.

“Stand up.” Her chin was jutting out again, and Cardan could see her jaw clench as he took a few seconds before sighing and setting the parchments on the floor and standing, making a show of every action he made.

“So, now are you going to tell me what’s happening?” Something in Jude seemed to momentarily soften as he looked her in the eye plainly, with no pretense or sarcasm, just searching for an answer in her face.

“I’m bored and you’re here and I’m going to spar you,” Her voice made it clear that even if he wanted to ignore her, she wouldn’t make it easy for him.

“Well, my Queen, that would be a wonderful idea if I were a partner worth sparring.” Cardan thought back to days spent attempting to refine what few combat skills he had, forcing himself out of his memories before they could go down a dark path consumed by Balekin’s taunts and servants whipping his back.

“Then, I don’t know, I’ll…” Jude turned on her heel, exasperation coloring her voice as it faded off, “I’ll just have to teach you. I know you can fight a little, so I’ll teach you, I mean it makes sense for you to at least be able to try to protect yourself.”

Cardan once again forced his thoughts away from other lessons he’d been forced into, knowing that he couldn’t hide the discomfort Jude’s words brought on.

“Oh, I don’t mean to—I won’t make you, if you don’t want to, it’s fine, I forgot about all that. It’s okay, Cardan, I’m fine,” Jude stuttered her apology as her mind drifted to the time she hid under a table in Balekin’s house.

Cardan’s heart softened, the realization that despite all of Jude’s rough edges, she’d do anything before hurting someone she loved sunk in as he said words he didn’t know if he’d regret, “No, it’s fine, let’s do this. Teach me to fight, your Majesty.”

-----

Jude nodded, still feeling guilty for forgetting why Cardan didn’t enjoy endless sparring sessions like she did. She quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, trying to take Cardan’s reassurance, after all he couldn’t lie to her even if he wanted to, so it had to be fine, right?

“Okay, let’s start with defensive positions, then.” Jude approached Cardan, loosely holding Nightfell in her hand before swinging directly towards Cardan’s side, stopping inches away from his arm that did nothing but flinch. Dear God, he really has no self-preservation, no wonder he always got into messes. Jude groaned a little before looking at Cardan and asking, “So, in that scenario do you really just want to lose an arm?”

He shook his head, “Obviously not, but what am I supposed to do? You have a whole sword and I have, what? A tiny knife?”

“You could at least try to block me. Like, here, like this.” Jude moved towards Cardan and lifted his harm and hand to make a motion so that his dagger would intercept the path of her blade. And so, it went on like that, for what felt like years. Jude slowly showing Cardan a motion, working with him until he could do it cleanly, eventually moving on from defensive maneuvers to offensive jabs and slashes. It was progress, however clumsy and unpracticed his movements were, at least it was progress. Jude kept telling herself it was unreasonable to expect Cardan to perfect anything she showed him but something in her ached for him to understand faster, to understand more.

-----

Cardan had been trying to execute the same movement for about fifteen minutes now. Jude kept claiming he was going wrong when he did something wrong with his wrist, right there after you reach out, but he still had no clue as to fix it. And while Cardan could see the merit in knowing how to defend oneself, he did have an entire legion of knights whose sole job was defending him, so he didn’t have to and on top of that he had a wife who was more than happy to ride off into battles for him, so there was really nearly no scenario he’d need to know any of this stuff. The last time he could even think of getting attacked was when Jude held a knife to his throat in Dain’s study—which to be honest, he didn’t exactly mind repeating that event. But alas, despite all the repetition and scolding and sweat, Cardan loved seeing the way Jude’s face lit up whenever he mastered a movement or successfully blocked an attack. Something about Jude just seemed right when she fought, like this was what she was meant to do. Her eyes had a fire in them, and her body moved with a practiced ease that Cardan was only now noticing, when for once he could focus on her and her movements without a threat looming over every action. It was intoxicating, seeing someone so in their element, seeing Jude so clearly doing exactly what she was trained to do, exactly what she loved. Even now, when she wasn’t doing anything other than glaring at his arm—as if that was the solution to his problem—there was something in her that made it clear that she wasn’t actually mad or upset, she was purely focused and full of intent.

Cardan made the same movement for possibly the hundredth time, which elicited a drawn out and dramatic groan from Jude as she threw her head back in exasperation, “I keep telling you, not that, you need to—” Jude groaned again before stepping behind Cardan and reaching around his body to grab his wrist, “You need to do this.” Cardan felt sparks erupt across his skin as her breath hit the back of his neck, trying desperately to focus on the way her hand twisted his wrist and pushed out his arm and not on the way he could feel a ghost of her lips right above his shirt or the way his tail was flicking back and forth, wanting to reach out and around one of her legs, trapping her against him.

After a few repetitions, Jude stepping back, and Cardan didn’t know whether to thank her or beg her to come back. He tried the movement again and this time he thought Jude was going to kill him with the glare she shot at his hand. He tried to shrug, and she groaned again.

“Perhaps this is a signal that we should stop?” Cardan offered, hoping that Jude would take him up on his offer and he could stop pretending like he even knew what scenario he would need use this movement in.

“Perhaps.” Jude echoed, looking lost in her thoughts, no doubt still trying to think of some way she could help fix his issue.

Cardan walked over to a table and placed the dagger he had been using next to a variety of other knives before he was interrupted.

“You know what? No. That’s not happening. I taught you all of this so that we could spar, so before we’re done, we’re going to spar.”

As Cardan turned to face Jude, readying some response about that being unnecessary and there always being tomorrow, he was faced with a fearsome sight, Jude standing just behind him, Nightfell drawn and a blaze in her eyes. His throat bobbed as he reached to pick up the dagger just in time for Jude to make her first strike.

Cardan didn’t know how he blocked it, his arm instinctively reaching out while his wrist twisted so he could stop her blade from slicing his side.

“Of course, now you get it,” Jude’s voice filled the training room as she stepped back, so that they could spar in the middle of the room.

As soon as Cardan reached Jude, he knew he made a mistake. She was relentless, all offense and power and grace, and it felt like all he could do was struggle to hold onto his dagger and hope he wouldn’t get cut.

She swung her sword around in mesmerizing arcs before reaching out to continue her attack, stepping towards Cardan so she could push him away from the center of the room. Cardan knew he should lash out, at the very least he should find a way to move away from exactly where Jude wanted him to be, but he couldn’t find any openings. She was unstoppable, a force of nature pushing against him and forcing him to use every ounce of training he had just to stay in one piece.

As soon as Cardan felt one of his feet hit the wall behind him, he knew he was done for. He was trapped and definitely the worse swordsman—knifeman? —and he knew he couldn’t get out of the reach of Nighfell or block Jude’s attacks forever. Jude’s eyes lit up when she saw Cardan freeze, using the opportunity to let her sword clatter to the floor, take Cardan’s dagger from his hand, and push him against the wall, holding the knife to his throat, all in one maneuver.

Cardan breathed heavily, looking into Jude’s eyes hoping she understood this was him surrendering.

“Come on Cardan, how do you ever expect to win a real fight if you can’t even stop me from unarming you?” Jude’s voice was a little breathless, despite the lack of sweat on her body and the steady heartbeat Cardan could feel through her chest and she pinned him to the wall.

He grinned.

-----

Jude suddenly felt unsure of her victory. Yes, she had a weapon poised in the perfect position for a killing move. Yes, she had him trapped. Yes, she had the upper hand.

But then his hands were on her waist and he gave her one of his stupid smiles, the one that she didn’t know how to respond to, and he whispered, “Come on, love, we both know I’m already winning in this situation.”

Jude forced herself to keep her grip on the dagger, but she knew he could feel her pulse stutter then speed up, and suddenly she didn’t know whether to curse or thank her past self for deciding the best way to beat Cardan was to use her body to trap him against the wall. It felt oddly reminiscent of their first kiss, where she thought she had him exactly where she wanted him, but then he somehow gained all the control. As his hands pulled her even closer—she didn’t even realize that was possible—she resigned herself to losing just this once and let her hand fall down to her side and the dagger slip from her grip.

His lips were on her jaw first, making her head fall back with a groan as he worked his way down her throat. Jude felt a little stupid for letting herself give into Cardan’s charms so easily—was that really all it took? A cocky comment and a touch? –but quickly pushed thoughts of stupidity and regret out of her mind as he took her face in his hands so he could crash their lips together. It was a breathless mess of teeth and lips and tongue, as their hands pulled on each other, trying to get closer, closer. Jude felt like she was making up for that first kiss, where Cardan was drunk, and she was confused, and everything was hiding behind too many falsities and lies to even begin to unravel the truth about either of their feelings. But now—when she had Cardan in her arms and her feelings sorted and a ring on her finger—she felt like this was what that first kiss could have felt like, in some different life where things weren’t as complicated.

All the thoughts of the past were quickly shut out as Cardan flipped them around, so that Jude’s back was against the wall, and lifted her up so that he could kiss her deeper. Jude felt lost in him, she knew she must be doing something, after all Cardan was gasping into her mouth, but she couldn’t take her focus away from Cardan and his hands and his lips long enough to even think about where her hands were. As Cardan pulled his lips from hers, leaving Jude making a rather undignified noise in the back of her throat—a noise she would most definitely deny making if asked about it at a later date—he panted and held a finger to her lips.

“Jude.” Cardan’s voice was rough and low. “Jude, I think someone is coming in.”

As soon as he said the words, Jude could hear voices and nearing steps through the door. She groaned, letting her face fall onto Cardan’s shoulder before unwrapping her legs from around him and walking back to where she had dropped Nightfell. As the door opened to reveal the Bomb and the Roach, Jude turned back to Cardan who had just barely reached the dagger he had been using all afternoon, she grinned dangerously before asking, “Want to spar again?”