#better than kenna oops

[lainalit]

"We were born sick." You heard them say it  

Chapter 3. When the Maiden Meets the Soldier  |  Ch.1  | Ch.2

The first time Enid & Cadell meet each other

This chapter takes place when Enid is 16 Years old & Cadell is 18 Years old and It's five years before amarantha trapped the High Lords under the mountain

The canteen of the Darkbringers in Hewn City was a grim, cavernous space that exuded a stifling atmosphere. Dim light from the hanging iron chandeliers cast wide shadows on the rough stone walls, giving the hall a dungeon-like quality rather than the warmth of a communal gathering place. The air was heavy with the unappetizing scent of stale bread and simmering stew, the same monotonous meal served day after day.

Enid stood at the serving table alongside her cousin Kenna, doing her best to maintain her composure despite the demeaning environment.

As she poured stew into bowls for the novices in their black training armor, that appeared completely oblivious to her, consumed by their overwhelming hunger after a demanding day of training.

She looks around, the tension was palpable in the air as the newer recruits filled the tables. Most hailed from families that had the means to send their sons into the dark and powerful brotherhood, training to become an unbreakable force for the night court and instill fear towards the other courts in prythian.

Yet, among them were also those from the lowest strata of society—sons of prostitutes, whose resentment ran deep, rooted in the very underbelly of the mountain they inhabited. This mixture of backgrounds added an unsettling complexity to the atmosphere, making Enid acutely aware of the disparities and the weight of aspirations that hung heavily over them all.

Enid glanced to her right, where Kenna was filling a bowl for a new darkbringer. Her chin-length dark blonde hair shimmered under the eerie glow of the faelights surrounding them. Kenna's hands moved with steady precision, a testament to the expertise of a female who had known hard labor.

It was hardly surprising, given that she had practically raised Enid after her mother's death, guiding her through the harsh realities of life as a female in their city. Enid often wondered if Kenna would have contemplated escaping this place if it weren't for her.

Now, Kenna was married to a male chosen by Enid’s aunt and uncle, a marriage arranged for their family's financial benefit, as they only owned a modest restaurant in the city's third section.

Her cousin's husband, a carpenter serving the wealthy families in the hewn city, was somewhat neglectful but not cruel or violent towards her cousin, unlike her cousin’s father, Enid’s father, or many other males in the city. Kenna once confided that she was grateful her husband’s greatest punishment was merely his silence.

Enid refocused her attention on the male before her as she handed him the bowl of stew. He was tall and lanky, his frame more willowy than muscular, with long, dark hair and piercing gray eyes that seemed to hold an icy detachment.

An arrogant sneer twisted his lips, as if he deemed everything around him unworthy of his attention. In a casual, dismissive flick of his wrist, he let the bowl slip from his fingers, treating it as if it were an utter nuisance. It crashed onto the stone floor, the thick stew splattering in all directions.

 “Oops,” he said, his voice laced with exaggerated innocence. “Guess you need to pay better attention, girl.”

A wave of heat surged through her, and she bent down instinctively to gather the pieces. The shards felt sharp against her fingertips, but she worked slowly, not wanting to cut herself or show any sign of weakness. Just when she started to sense the pressure from the eyes of the other males, she felt the unmistakable presence of someone beside her.

Another novice knelt next to her, his dark buzzed hair glinting under the harsh lights. With deft efficiency, he gathered the shards of the broken bowl. Their eyes locked—his deep brown meeting her hazel. Enid felt her heart thud in her chest, a defiant rhythm amid the chaos of the canteen.

"Careful," he murmured, his voice a soothing blend of softness and depth that contrasted sharply with his otherwise stern demeanor as he delicately took a particularly sharp shard from her hands. Just as she opened her mouth to express her gratitude, a harsh voice shattered the moment.

 “Of course, the son of a whore like Cadell would come to the aid of another,” sneered the Darkbringer, the one who had deliberately dropped the bowl. His words dripped with venom, and the echoes of his laughter, mingled with the jeers of his obnoxious friends, booming off the cold stone walls.

Enid's breath hitched as Cadell's grip tightened around the shard he had taken from her, the jagged edge piercing his palm. Blood pooled and dripped onto the floor, yet Cadell appeared unfazed. His expression was unnervingly calm, though a dangerous glint in his eyes sent Enid's heart racing for an entirely different reason.

“Watch your mouth,” he hissed as he rose to his feet, towering other his adversary, his voice laced with a cold threat.

Just as tensions were about to escalate, another novice stepped forward. Shorter than the two males in front of her, he had vivid blue eyes and neatly cropped blond hair, his demeanor notably relaxed and almost playful.

“No wonder you’re so poor at sword practice, Edwyn, if you can’t even manage to hold a plate!” the blond male turned to Cadell with a teasing grin. “Looks like you’re showing him a thing or two about balance.”

Edwyn’s face twisted with anger as he turned his fury towards the newcomer. "Of course, the bastards of common whores would stick together," he snarled, his voice rising. "Your kind should know their place, Tarian."

"Well, at least I don’t have to suck my father’s balls to earn my place," Tarian shot back with a smirk, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "But I guess that’s just part of the family business for some."

Enid and Kenna tried to hold back their laughter, overwhelmed by the surrounding chorus of chuckles from the other darkbringers.

Edwyn's face flushed a deep crimson as he lunged at Tarian, but Cadell positioned himself between them, unnervingly calm despite the blood dripping from his hand.

"We're all trapped in this miserable place," Cadell said, his tone calm and resolute. "Believing you’re superior doesn’t alter our situation. And taking pleasure in the suffering of those below you won’t get you or your family out.”

Edwyn's face twisted with rage, and he spat, “At least I have power here, unlike you nobodies!”

Tarian interjected from behind Cadell with a laugh," The only power you possess is your talent for whining like a spoiled little brat, and even then, you're not very good at it."

The jest provoked more chuckles around the canteen. Edwyn’s face contorted with rage, and with a final glare at Cadell and Tarian, he stormed out, his heavy footsteps ranging out loudly against the stone floor.

As Enid watched him walk away, her attention draws back to Cadell. There was something different about him, something that set him apart from the other males of Hewn City. He wasn’t like the rest; he seemed to grasp their circumstances better than most of his fellow comrades - the haunting truth of never experiencing the taste of freedom.

Her gaze drifted to his hand, where blood dripped steadily onto the floor. Acting on instinct, she got to her feet and withdrew a fresh handkerchief from her apron, offering it to him with a soft expression.

"Here," she said quietly, extending the fabric toward him.

Cadell looked at her, surprise flickering momentarily in his dark eyes before he accepted the handkerchief, his gratitude evident in the low sincerity of his murmur, "Thank you."

Their eyes locked once more, and for a brief moment, it felt as though the room had faded away, leaving just the two of them. Enid’s heart raced, her thoughts a tempest of emotions she struggled to comprehend. 

"Enid, fetch a mop and bucket from the storeroom," Kenna’s voice cut through the moment, bringing her back to reality.

Startled, Enid blinked and nodded slowly, the warmth slowly dissipating.

“Well, look at you two, all wrapped up in your own little world,” Tarian teased with a wide grin, nudging Cadell. “We’d better get back in line before the same stew we’ve been eating for days is all gone.”

Kenna rolled her eyes, scooping up some stew and handing the bowls to the two males. Tarian took his with a laugh. “I’d gladly insult Edwyn more often if it means I get to skip the line.”

“Consider today an exception,” she said, an amused smile tugging at her lips. “Now get moving; you’re holding up the line.”

Tarian responded with a salute before he and Cadell walked away in search of a table, Enid's gaze lingered on them, a strange mix of curiosity and longing simmering within her. 

But before she could dwell on it any longer, she turned to fetch the bucket and mop, as kenna had instructed.

What she didn't notice as she walked away was Cadell's lingering look at her, his dark eyes pensive as he pressed the blood-stained handkerchief to his slowly mending wound. 

[colins-bridgerton]

kate’s top 100 countdown: televison otps

99.) kc guthrie & bianca desousa

degrassi

[trashyswitch]

Dark Interrogations (With a Light Spin)

Roman gets interrogated for the robbery of a hoodie, a hat and a deodorant. Remus, Janus and Virgil work together to make Roman confess to his crimes and admit as to their location...

This has the 'tickle interrogation' trope going for it so if you're uncomfortable with that, I am very sorry. There are also some swear words, so you have been warned.

This fanfic goes out to @smileheart110 on Tumblr. Link

This fanfic also goes out to @kennabelee because I wanna. XD

So Smileheart and Kenna, I hope you both (and others) enjoy!

A pair of high heels could be heard echoing through the room...a paper was shuffled with...and a pencil was heard being used despite the pitch black darkness.

“Roman ‘Princey’ Sanders…” Someone said.

The name called, hummed in confusion as he registered who the voice belonged to.

“...What in royalty are you doing, Library boy?” Roman asked.

“Oh...Right I forgot he could recognize our voice.” The person admitted.

“We have the same voice.” Someone else said.

“I’m gonna turn on the liiiight~” someone else said before switching on a lamp. Roman squinted at how surprisingly bright the lamp was. He expected one of those modern lights with the slow build up to brightness. You know, the eco-friendly ones? But nope. Not here. The voices of the ‘strangers’ didn’t always have a green thumb.

Roman looked up at the faces that were staring him down. One of them was holding a clipboard and a pencil. Another one was holding pieces of paper. And the last one was giving him the death glare with a small box in his hand.

“Welcome to the interrogation room. You can refer to me as Deceit...Or Janus, if you want to.” Janus started.

“You can refer to me as Virgil...I prefer it that way. No ‘emo’, no ‘panic at the everywhere’, and no ‘kitty cat’ either. I’ve heard you and your list.” Virgil warned.

“And I’m starving.” Remus admitted.

Virgil sighed. “Remus we know.” Virgil growled.

“Can we hurry this up?” Remus asked. “I haven’t had my hourly deodorant because SOMEONE STOLE IT!” Remus smacked his hand onto the desk to scare him.

But hilariously enough, Roman didn’t even flinch. “Awww, boo hoo.”

Remus looked at Janus. “Can I slap him with your heel?” Remus asked.

“NO.” Janus and Virgil both shot back.

“Dammit…” Remus muttered.

“Heel?!” Roman looked down and sure enough, Janus was wearing heels. “...Huh…”

“Eyes up here asshole.” Virgil ordered. “Where are our things?” Virgil asked.

“What things?” Roman asked, pretending to be naive.

Virgil slammed a paper onto the table, revealing the hoodie...But the picture used to represent it, looked really poor quality.

Roman smirked. “Did you get that from clipart or something?” Roman asked.

Janus sighed. “It was the best we could do. Please stay focused.” Janus told him.

“Where is it?!” Virgil asked.

“Chill out man! I didn’t mess with your hoodies!” Roman reacted.

“It’s ONE hoodie, and it’s MISSING. And you’re the only one dumb enough to take it.” Virgil spat.

“Emo.” Roman spat back with a smirk.

“Prick in my ass.” Virgil shot back.

“Oooooh! Okay, boogeyman~” Remus teased.

“Ew!” Virgil turned to Remus. “Don’t you dare use your serial killer references on me!” Virgil ordered.

“Sorry, sorry…I’m just hangry…” Remus admitted.

“Really? What a surprise…” Janus muttered.

Roman chuckled. “Someone should make a tv show based on all of you.” Roman reacted.

“Brooklyn 99 is the equivalent of that already.” Virgil reminded him.

Virgil placed another paper down. “What about this? Where is it?” Virgil asked.

Roman sighed and looked down. This time, it was a picture of deodorant...but it had a leaf on the label with the word ‘Peppermint’ on the front. Roman guffawed. “No, I haven’t seen Remus’s ‘peppermint’ deodorant!” Roman laughed.

Janus blinked and checked the label. “Oh...Oops.” Janus admitted. “Anyway-” Janus placed the paper down. “You know what we really mean in this situation. Where is it?” Janus asked.

“I don’t know. I thought you hid it with your magic?” Roman replied, looking at Remus.

Janus sighed. “And as you can tell, this:” Janus showed a colored picture of Roman holding his hat, with the bowler hat circled with a red marker. “Where is my hat?”

Roman giggled and changed his voice. “Look! I’m Woody! Howdy Howdy Howdy!” He imitated.

Janus snapped his fingers and pointed at him. “AHA! So you DID steal it!” Janus declared. “And that means you stole everything else TOO!” Janus yelled.

“Whaaaat...if I was simply making a reference?” Roman asked.

“You weren’t.” All three interrogators said at the exact same time.

Roman’s smirk dropped. They really could read through his tricks…

“Where’s. Our. Stuff. Roman?” Janus asked, leaning forward to glare at Roman closely.

“Up. Your. Scaled. Tushy.” Roman spat back.

“Alright get the tools.

“Tools?! Seriously?!” Roman reacted.

“Yes, of course! We need to scare our thief into confessing to their most evil crimes known to man!” Remus told him. “Stealing. Our. Precious. Props.” Remus told him.

Virgil pulled out a toothbrush and clicked a button to turn it on. The electric tooth brush started humming and vibrating, leaving Roman confused. “You’re...gonna brush my teeth to death?” Roman guessed.

Virgil giggled evilly. “Think again, Ro.” While Janus held Roman’s hands behind his back, Virgil walked closer to Roman, pulled up a stool and brought the humming toothbrush closer to Roman’s belly button.

The toothbrush had only lowered a couple inches from his belly, when Roman started whining and biting his lip. “Ohohoho noho, you’re worse than yzma.” Roman muttered with a slight wobbly smile growing onto his lips.

“So...Where...is our stuff Ro?” Virgil asked.

“I-I don’t know!” Roman replied.

It was then that Roman SCREAMED and wiggled around as the toothbrush landed right into his belly button.

“I hope you like tickles, Princey~” Virgil teased. “Cause this is gonna last a while if you don’t confess.” Virgil added.

“WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE! NOT THEHEHEREHEHEHE!” Roman begged already.

“Woooow! Begging already?” Remus reacted. “I’m surprised! You can defeat a giant dragon witch, but you can’t handle a little tickwing to the bewwy button?” Remus teased.

Roman tugged on his arms to try and get out as his belly button was tormented with only a single little circular toothbrush. Man, being ticklish sucked right now!

Virgil stopped the electric toothbrush, but kept the toothbrush in his belly button. While this was happening, Janus leaned into Roman’s ear and clicked his tongue. “You gonna tell me where the stuff is?” Janus asked softly.

Roman felt tingles down his spine from both the hot air against his ear, and the super soft voice Janus was using.

Roman looked towards the ear Janus was whispering into. “Jeez, you could do an ASMR video or an ASMR channel if you wanted to! Holy crap!” Roman reacted.

“Answer the question.” Janus ordered with a more stern voice.

Roman looked at Virgil and Remus. “Guys...I seriously don’t know.” Roman told them.

��He’s lying. Vir-”

“Way ahead of ya, Jan.” Virgil pulled out a huge fan brush, turned on the electric tooth brush and used both items on Roman’s belly button region.

“NOOOOOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA! VIHIHIRGIHIHIHIL STAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Roman pleaded.

Janus smirked as he leaned in, and blew cold air onto his neck. Roman squealed and curled his neck, throwing his head back in the process. “JAHAHAHAN!” Roman begged.

Then, Janus grabbed a feather and started tickling up and down Roman’s spine. “EEEEEK! WAHAHAHAIT NOHOHOHOHO! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!”

“Hey Remus...Do you wanna have some fun?” Virgil asked before turning off the toothbrush. Janus stopped the feather and looked at Remus with curious eyes.

Roman took the time to breath in and out as much as he could before the tickling started up again.

“Sure! And I know just the spot~” Remus grabbed a foot rest, placed it between Roman’s lower legs, and tied Roman’s legs to the bars on the sides of the foot rest.

Roman shrieked and tried to lift the foot rest, but a 50 pound dumbbell had been tied to the bottom of the foot rest as well! “NO! YOU’D BETTER NOT PULL THAT ANKLE-BREAKING MOVE FROM MISERY!” Roman shouted at him.

Virgil and Janus widened their eyes at each other while Remus wheezed. “Look around the room, you dumbass! There’s no sledgehammers anywhere here!” Remus reacted through his laughter.

“Except for in the closet…” Virgil muttered.

Remus hummed. “Wait what?”

“There actually is one in the closet…” Virgil muttered again.

Roman let out an ear-piercing SCREAM in horror. “OH FUCK! OH SHIT NO! REMUS YOU DO THAT, AND I’M DIVORCING YOU AS A FUCKING BROTHER-”

“Hey Janus, do you have an extra hand to cover up his mouth?” Remus asked casually...too casually.

Janus nodded and covered up his mouth. With Roman’s screams covered up enough to focus, Remus got up to do his thing. He walked to the closet, grabbed out the sledge hammer and made a large portal. Roman was still breathing heavily and freaking out. But Remus gave the sledgehammer a heave, and threw it into the portal. A loud “OW!” could be heard from within the portal before it was closed up.

“There! No more sledgehammer, and no more scared Roman.” Remus told him.

Roman’s scared face lessened dramatically as he registered the lack of a sledgehammer.

“You can uncover his mouth now.” Remus told Janus. Janus nodded and uncovered his mouth as Remus walked back over. “Now what I was ACTUALLY gonna do...” Remus sat down onto the foot rest, and scooted a bit closer. “Was this:”

Remus reached his hand out and started tickling the inside of Roman’s thigh. Roman widened his eyes, gasped in surprise, and leaned his head to the side as the craving to laugh filled his lungs. Roman tried to hold them back as best he could...But the moment the fingers reached the lower thigh, it was all over.

“EEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEK! NOHOHOHOHO! NONONO! NOTTHETHIGHS! HAHAHAHANDS AWAHAHAHAY!” Roman begged.

“Only if you confess to taking our stuff…” Remus reminded him as he moved his fingers to the other thigh.

“BAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OKAYOKAHAHAHAHAY! FIHIHIHINE!” Roman finally yelled.

Virgil smiled eagerly as Remus stopped his fingers. “Well?”

“Fihihihine...Yohohou wihihihin…*huff* I… *huff* I took ‘em…. *huff* *huff* Took ‘em all.” Roman finally admitted.

Remus smiled proudly and cheered. “YAAAAAY! I did it!” Remus declared.

“Totally didn’t see that coming…” Janus lied with a smirk.

“But wait:” Virgil looked at Roman. “Where did you put them?” Virgil asked.

Remus stopped cheering and looked at him. That was a good question! Where DID he put them?

Roman shook his head. “You said you’d let me go if I confessed. I confessed, so you need to let me go.” Roman told them.

“That’s why we have a tape record-” Virgil looked over at the tape recorder and noticed there was no tape in the tape recorder…

Virgil growled in pure frustration and anger the moment he heard crunching plastic on the other side of the table. Remus had moved himself to the other side of the table and…

..was eating the cassette tape.

“Whath? I goth hungryyy!” Remus reacted. “I’ff been hungry’fr hourth!” Remus added.

“And you couldn’t ASK FOR A BREAK?!” Virgil shouted.

Remus swallowed. “Mm mm. Go on. Keep going.” Remus told them, waving his hand to move them along.

Virgil sighed and looked at Roman. “Are there times you don’t associate with him?” Virgil asked.

Roman nodded. “All the time.” He replied. Rokman yelped as the circular spinning piece from the cassette tape smacked against his forehead. “OW!” Roman yelled.

“Thorry!” Remus reacted.

Virgil grabbed out another item from the tool box. “How about some oil?” Virgil asked.

OH HELL NAW!

Roman squeaked and wiggled around. “Uh uh! No way! Absolutely not! Get that stuff away from me!” Roman threatened.

Virgil giggled and poured some oil into his belly button.

“NOOOOOO!” Roman begged. Virgil grabbed a silicone oil brush from the tool kit, and started brushing and spreading the oil across his whole belly. Roman giggled and snorted as the brush moved everywhere across the regular skin, AND the shiny oiled skin. Whenever the brush would go across the oiled skin, Roman’s laughter would increase 10 fold, or even 20 fold! The oil made so much of a difference on Roman’s belly.

“And now for my new favorite part:” Virgil grabbed out two- TWO separate back scratchers. The metal back scratchers had paws on them rather than the usual fingers, which gave the back scratches metal claws rather than dull nails. Virgil handed one of them to Remus, and got ready to attack.

“NO...NOO PLEASE NO…” Roman pleaded.

“Where are they~” Virgil asked as he and Remus both brought the bear scratchers closer and closer to the belly.

“VIRGIL! REMUS! PLEASE! I DON’T KNOW! I! DON’T! KNOW! AAAAAAAAH!” Roman screamed and fell into loud cackles as the bear claws started scritching and scratching all over his poor, oiled belly.

“Where is it, oh ticklish prince of-”

“IHIHIHIN MYHYHY NIHIHIGHTSTAHAHAHAND! NIHIHIGHTSTAHAHAND!” Roman shouted.

Virgil widened his eyes. “Nightstand?!” Virgil reacted.

Remus got up, placed the bear claw scratcher down and sprinted to Roman’s bedroom. Roman took this moment to breath like his life depended on it. “Yohohou’re...lucky...I’m a side...otherwise...I will have...p-perished…” Roman said slowly.

Virgil laughed. “You wouldn’t have died, you drama queen.” Virgil fluffed his hair.

Janus smiled as he let go of Roman’s hands and wrote down the thief with the location of the items. “A criminal has pleaded guilty today. I say a job well done.” Janus told him. “And I mean it.” Janus clarified, telling him that he wasn’t lying.

Remus sprinted into the room with their stuff, and a mouth full of deodorant. “Hoodie!” Remus threw the hoodie to Virgil. “Hat!” Remus threw the hat frisbee style to Janus. “And MMMMMmmmmm!” Remus dug right into his deodorant like a mad man.

Virgil and Roman both bursted out laughing at Remus’s face, while Janus fixed his hat and hair. “There…” Then, Janus whipped off the high heels. “Finally! My feet can rest happy without these stupid heels!” Janus declared.

“FREE HEELS!” Remus declared, picking up the heels and sprinting out of the room.

Virgil shrieked and sprinted after him. “REMUS GIVE ME THOSE HEELS NOW, YOU ARE NOT HITTING PEOPLE WITH THEM!”

Roman bursted out laughing at their silliness and looked at Janus. “So...You gonna start that ASMR channel?” Roman asked.

Janus leaned into his ear with a smile. “Maybe~” He whispered.

Roman giggled nervously and covered his mouth. The teaser was already a huge indication that he was gonna DIE listening to Janus’s voice!

...A loud “OW! VIRGIL!” could be heard from all the way down the hall…

Those silly dark sides...

Also YES, 2 FANFICS TODAY! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME??? :D

[deanlesbian]

here’s a little fic i wrote for @mindblindbard which is the best interactive fiction wip i’ve ever read!! i love the characters so much. this is set when my button (ellery) is 19, so unfortuantely i can’t include any sweet, sweet kenna content, but i had a lot of fun diving into ellery’s trauma lol. (this is like 1500 words oops)

Ellery wakes early on the day of the anniversary. She snaps out of sleep quickly, abruptly, her heart pounding out of her chest, her breath caught fast in her lungs. The dream is gone already, but she can imagine. Her limbs locked, her chest tight, the loud sobs of her mother echoing through the high-ceilinged kitchen.

She pushes herself upright, waiting to see if Nick noticed. If he could feel her spike of emotion from his bedroom.

But there’s no intrusion, no soft whisper in her mind. He’s asleep. Good.

When Nick wakes before her on this day in October, he always makes a big deal out of it. Huge breakfast waiting for her in the kitchen, coffee from her favorite place, telepathic fingers prodding at her psyche. He thinks she doesn’t notice. That worries her. How often is she actually picking up on it? How many times does he sift through her thoughts, self-justified because he’s worried about her, that she doesn’t notice?

Ellery climbs out of bed, her bamboo sheets left in a tangle. Her bare feet protest against the cold hardwood, but she relishes the little pricks of pain. She crosses to the window and pulls back the curtain. There are tiny patches of frost coating the neighbor’s grass.

Fall has been late to Chicago, this year. Nick’s birthday two weeks ago was warm and sunny—they’d actually acquired a boat and puttered around Lake Michigan, the Wiseman siblings and Gray and Sally. Nick had done his best to mask his disappointment at not being able to have his parents join for his birthday. He’d driven up and spent the night in Milwaukee, leaving Sally and Ellery free to get wine drunk and have a dance party in the brownstone’s kitchen.

Ellery is glad that it’s cold this morning. She prefers running in the cold. She pulls on leggings and a sports bra and runs through a quick sun salutation to get her muscles flowing, to practice control, tension and release, shake out all the paralytic fear of nightmare and memory. Three years ago today, Ellery Wiseman lost her parents.

She pulls on her running shoes and a light long-sleeve and ties her recently cut blonde hair back into a tiny ponytail. She chugs half a bottle of water, puts in her earbuds, starts her metal playlist, straps her phone to her arm, and then she’s out the door.

The air is sharp and bites at her exposed skin as she thuds down the front steps and onto the street. Ellery always feels pulled back into herself when she runs. Her muscles moving fast, responsive, following her every command. Her thoughts clean and clear, music channeling her thoughts, endorphins pushing aside everything but a sense of focus. Any Ments she passes quickly falling behind, away.

Ellery heads east, to the lake. She dodges walkers on the sidewalk and Ments who swivel their heads to watch her speed by, crosses streets abruptly. The music screams in her ears and her breath huffs in and out of her and sweat pricks at her collarbones and her feet slam into the pavement and she feels good.

Nick and Sally tease Ellery for her obsession with running. Nick runs reluctantly, to stay in shape, but as a last resort, preferring gym time and basketball with Gray. Sally despises running. The Aeon prep runs they go on together are a litany of complaints.

But running is everything for Ellery. It’s the only time she feels her anger draining out of her, left behind in ribbons along the lakefront path, blown away by the icy winds off Lake Michigan, beaded up and dripping off her forehead.

She pushes herself harder than usual, faster, taking her regular route south along the lake too fast, using up her stamina too quickly. Her breath drives in and out of her too fast, painful.

No, she thinks as her muscles burn and her body begs for relief. I can’t stop yet, I’m not ready—

The memory pushes itself, jagged and unwelcome, into her mind. Hope’s arms on her arm, fingernails digging in, shouting—

Ellery’s ankle turns, and she falls.

It’s a terrific fall. Her palms skid along the pavement, her knee drags with her momentum, tearing a hole in her leggings.

I need to get up, she thinks dazedly, but she can’t. She can’t because her mom is in her head and her thoughts are all swirled together with someone else’s, and her body is no longer her own.

Her breath is going like she’s still running, but there’s no one on this stretch of path right now and she’s out of Nick’s resting brainrange so she lets it happen. She picks herself up off the sidewalk, wincing at the sting in her scraped palms. She crosses the path and treads down to the soft sand of the 31st street beach. The wind slams against her, unceasing and angry. She unstraps her phone from her arm and puts on her favorite The National song on repeat. She wraps her arms around herself and finally, finally lets herself cry.

It’s so much easier to be angry. To decline phone calls and delete voicemails, to skip lunches with her dad and call him “John” to his face, to leave the room when Nick tries to say something like “it’s been three years, do you think….” Easier to beat her knuckles bloody on a punching bag and refuse to talk to Sally about it. Easier to think, if they didn’t want me then, they don’t get me now.

But today, Ellery just kind of wants her mom.

Yesterday at the mall with Sally they were sniffing perfumes and Ellery had burst into tears when Sally spritzed herself with Chanel no. 5. She hadn’t even remembered that Hope had worn Chanel no. 5 until the scent wafted over and she was taken back. Nights when Hope had actually been able to handle being around Ellery, when her mind was clear. The best nights were frequently right after Hope got back from a trip, refreshed after a week or so without Ellery’s thoughts pricking in the back of her subconscious.

Hope would shoo the boys out for dinner or a basketball game or something and she and Ellery would cook pasta in the cavernous marble kitchen of Ellery’s childhood home and then they would eat and watch a romantic comedy and Hope would paint Ellery’s nails (doing a much better job than Sally ever could) and they’d talk about everything and it would be good.

And then a few days later Ellery would notice her mom was back to flinching whenever she walked into a room and the distance would expand again.

Ellery cries, loud and gulping, tears streaking down her cheeks. She cries for her broken family, and for Nick who gave up everything for her, and for Sally who she knows misses Hope and John but would never say so, and for her parents who she’s hurting more and more everyday she goes without talking to them, even if they deserve it. Even though they abandoned her when she needed them most.

Most days, this grief lives deep inside her, smothered with righteous anger and cold indifference. So deep that Nick can’t even sense it amongst everything else broadcasting from her head.

Loud, she calls herself, and thank god for that.

After a little while Ellery manages to slow her breathing. The cold air in and out, calm, measured. She feels a little bit cleaner inside. She feels okay enough that when she goes back home Nick will sense a low level of melancholy, but that’s to be expected, on this day, so he won’t feel the need to pry. Now she can think about other things.

Her phone rings. She knows it’s Nick so she doesn’t bother checking her phone before tapping her headphones to accept.

"Hey Button,” he says. “Where are you? I’m making breakfast.”

This is a ridiculous question because a) if Nick tried he could use his telemetry to see her and b) he could check her location on his phone.

“I’m at 31st,” she says. “Went on a run.”

“Well, get your butt back here,” he says. “I’m doing an omelet bar and Gray and Salome are going to be here in fifteen.”

The tension in Ellery’s chest loosens a little more. This is why Nick doesn’t know about the grief that hides so far down. Because most of the time, she’s content with the family she has. Her overbearing, well-intentioned brother. Her best friend who takes her as she is and loves her for it anyway. An obnoxiously nice Brit who is fun to treat with her best annoying little sister routine.

Most days, that’s more than enough.

“I’ll head back right now,” Ellery says.

“Swing by Bluebird on your way and get coffee for everyone,” he says. “I checked, none of the Ments on staff are working today, so you’re good.”

“Sure,” she says. “Love you, Tick.”

“See you soon, Button.”

[master-sass-blast]

6, 7, 18, 22, 30, 31, 37, 48 for the Writer’s Asks thingie, please!

Absolutely! Done and done!

(also putting this under a cut because it got really long wow)

6 (favorite character I’ve ever created): Okay, I’ve got a few answers for this, so bear with me.

In my original series, it’s one hundred percent Miysuki (pending renaming at the moment because hi welcome to my hell). She’s a badass fighter while also incredibly feminine because she chooses to be and enjoys it, she’s ADHD/dyslexic but also incredibly clever, she gives so few fucks about convention and people’s opinions of her and UGH. She’s my Queen. I love her.

In the CHC... I mean, I would say Alexandra because the canon did nothing with her and I basically built her from scratch, but as far as a total OC goes... it’s one that hasn’t showed up yet, actually, but she kickstarts what I think is going to be the best mini fic arc within the CHC. Y’all don’t even know. You’re in for a real treat.

Outside of the CHC, it’s probably Ellie. She gives Frank so much shit and runs the end of being very smart while also very naive because she’s 13 and can’t possibly know everything and I just love characters that are contradictory like that.

7 (favorite author): For actual books? Rick Riordan, hands down. Close second is Henry Winkler. What they both do for representation of various minorities is amazing.

Online? Obviously, everyone in the CTC holds a very special place in my heart, as do you as my official Kenna dealer.

therestlessbrook on Ao3 also does some superb Kastle stuff. Complete and utter gold.

18 (what does your revision/rewriting process look like): A lot of internal screaming.

Lol jk, I basically read through everything and look out for typos and grammar stuff (and don’t always find them oops), then I go through and figure out if I need to rephrase or rework anything.

I’m a very minimal editor, largely because I want validation immediately and editing delays that lol.

22 (how many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and the project is done): It really varies on the project. My original project, which is a linear chapter book (and a novel series but right now I’m on book one), has definitely gone through a lot more revisions because my writing style doesn’t necessarily lend itself to linear writing. I do a lot better with just being able to go in with an idea and do what I want, rather than having to make a cohesive timeline.

The stuff for the CHC, by comparison, maybe goes through one or two light edits before it’s done. The pieces are much shorter than a novel, and since it’s non-linear I can just write my ideas without having to necessarily worry about flow.

I think if I planned my linear stuff more ahead of time, I wouldn’t run into so many problems lol. I’m good at getting ideas out of my head and into story format, but not so much into outline format.

30 (favorite line you’ve ever written): When Wade calls Frank Castle “Spank Me Daddy.” I am so damn proud of that whole thing; it makes me laugh like an idiot every time I think about it.

31 (hardest character to write): I don’t know if there really is one. Most of the characters I wind up writing just end up as very “me” influenced versions of them, which makes it easy to get in their heads.

Wade can be challenging at times, just because you kind of have to have him continually out-do himself with weirdness.

37 (most inspirational quote you’ve ever heard/read that’s still important to you): I... am really not a quote person. I’m just... not. And most of the things that resonate with me are either emotional constructs or self-revelations I’ve had over the years.

Really, if anything, this just shows that I spend way too much time in my own head, lol.

48 (favorite genre to write in): I don’t write in genres, lol. This was something I actually ran into problems with while working on my original stuff, because my coach and I couldn’t figure out how to market my work because it’s so niched.

Like, if there was a genre for “thinly veiled social and political commentary that has super powers and also talks a lot about mental well being and the importance of consent,” I would be all over that bitch.

[youremylodestar]

Get to Know Me

I was tagged by the amazing @the-three-space-gals Thanks frien!! Hopefully mobile doesn't mess this up and make it look all wonky. Rules: answer 30 questions then tag 20 people you’d like to know better Nicknames: Makennahay, Makennahoe, Mc-Kenna Gender: Female Star Sign: Scorpio MBTI Type: I cannot remember for the life of me oops Height: 5'3" Time: 9:53 Birthday: October 29 Fav Bands: Panic! At the Disco, Coldplay, The E Street Band (that ones old but like it's BRUCE) Fav solo artists: LINDSEY STIRLING OMFGGG Song stuck in my mind: Hold My Heart by Lindsey Stirling (feat. ZZ Ward) Last movie watched: Wonder Woman Last show watched: The Flash (Barry Allen is litterally my favorite character in any show ever,,,, and I don't mean angsty Justice League Barry Allen, I'm talking beautiful, pure, absolute ray of sunshine CW Barry Allen) When did I create my blog: idk like late last year, early this year?? This blog is pretty new. What do I post abt: KOTLC, but sometimes I post rlly random things I see on my dash when I'm in the mood. Last thing I googled: Okay so the last thing I googled was "autopsy camp". I SWEAR I'm not creepy, and I do not wanna go to autopsy camp but i was talking to my friend this morning and she said it was a real thing and I had to google it. Do you have other blogs: I just made a new blog like five seconds ago @hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-boi which was basically just me being bored and also an unoriginal asshole. Idk what I'm gonna do with it but I can't delete it cause apparently tumblr wants it to stick around so go hit that up if u want,, I might actually do something with it. Why did you choose your url: I mean the Keeper reference obviously (even if Lodestar WAS a pretty big let down), but the rest of it came from the fact that one of the definitions for lodestar is "one that serves as an inspiration, model or guide" so basically my url just means "You are my inspiration, my model and my guide." Plus I've always found stars, and the ways they rely on them for a lot in the series SUPER interesting. Following: 130 Followers: 32 w/o all the tumblr bots Fav Color: lightish blue/black (in case u couldn't tell by my blog) Average hours of sleep: 9 Lucky number: 11 Instruments: none What i’m wearing: Ugly clothes I wear to gym class that nobody knows I also wear to bed shhhhh How many blankets do I sleep with: one u barbarians how can anyone sleep with more than that, it's like I'm suffocating. Dream Job: Nursing Dream trip: I. Hate. Traveling. Especially very far. Fav food: All Italian food ever Nationality: American Now I'm supposed to tag 20 people but like....bitch how?? So imma try to tag people that I *think* haven't been tagged yet. @heart789456123 @themoonlarksareback @dragonwinnie-kotlc @sassdowflame @swan-darkwings @ the 15 other people who wanna do this and who I was supposed to tag but didn't.

[mermaidsirennikita]

oh my god???? while Im devastated they got split up Im glad Kenna isnt dead and i hope she's living it up with that prince and just running free. Im not as sad about Lola?? but yikes at the beheading. is Greer happy at least with Mary?? also what happened to bash? also how is Catherine and King Not Francis. thanks for this Im too weak to look up these episodes

Bash stayed loyal to Mary as a friend after Francis died (they hinted that his Feelings returned but nothing ever happened and she didn’t seem to reciprocate).  He went with her to Scotland after he found out Catherine killed his mom (lmao) and helped her take her throne back from John Barrowman (honestly forget who he played) but then he became a druid or something???  He was like “pagans, THE WOODS, Mary I’ve found my true calling I’m home now”.  He vagued about being there when she most needed him and sent David Rizzio to Mary to be her buddy in s4 (and Rizzio literally said that some dude with eyes like sea glass sent him and Mary was like “omg it was Bash” lol) but that didn’t work out well.

Greer is happy-ish with Mary?  She and Lord Castleroy are officially done.  She banged a pirate in season 3 while Castleroy was away and they were basically separated, it was just a one nighter but she got pregnant and he was off on the seven seas or something.  Greer was going to give the baby to her sister but decided against it at the last minute because her sister was kind of an awful person.  Castleroy came back and forgave her since they were again pretty much separated when she slept with the pirate and he volunteered to be the baby’s official dad and raise it with Greer.  So Greer had a daughter, Rose, but the pirate captain wasn’t white so Rose clearly isn’t white either, and therefore she and Castleroy say that the baby is foundling that they adopted.  Castleroy didn’t immediately follow Greer to Scotland when she went to live at Mary’s court, and she revealed that the marriage wasn’t super great.  When he did come back he revealed that he’d fallen in love with a servant or something and wanted to be free to be happy with her and Greer was like “to be fair you’ve put up with a lot of my shit so cool”.  He’s still Rose’s adoptive dad but he and Greer are over.  Then bio-pirate-dad came back into the picture and Greer is letting him be in Rose’s life in a cool uncle kind of way.  But also Greer fell in love with James, Mary’s brother, and he reciprocated but before they could really act on their feelings he took the fall for this trap John Knox had set to make Mary look bad (or did Darnley set it not sure) so Mary had to exile him from Scotland.  Greer is still in contact with him it seems but they’re not together.

Catherine is basically dealing with Not Francis, aka King Charles, being a massive fuckup???  Like first he was this traumatized weakling and the French commoners literally pulled a Carrie and threw pig’s blood on him when he was giving a speech once?  So he ran into the woods.  He spent a lot of time in the woods, truly Bash’s brother right there, and was a total wreck.  Then he met this common girl named Nicole who was like Kenna but with better goals and she became his mistress and was like “lol be a Protestant” and he was like “lol sure”.  Then his sister Leesa who’s the queen of Spain and hella Catholic sent for their brother/Charles’s heir Henri to show up, and Henri’s more Francis-esque but obviously not as cool.  He’s super Catholic and much stronger than Charles or was until Catherine USED VOODOO OR SOME SHIT TO MAKE CHARLES STRONGER and of course he became a psycho.  Henri seduced Nicole to undermine Charles bc it’s a brother vs. brother thing, and then Nicole found out that Henri likes to wear ladies’ clothes and jewels on occasion and they bonded over that and she was down for all his fetishes and they realized that oops they’re actually in love or something.  So now Henri has spirited away from France with Nicole and Charles thinks she wasn’t willing so he’s flipping out an Catherine is basically trying to desperately maneuver a way out of this that doesn’t end with one or both of her sons dead even tho that’s pretty much impossible.  Most of Catherine’s plot this season has been about the boys and she also is, as previously mentioned, banging Narcisse again (this is part of the reason why Nicole ended up boning Henri, bc she was previously obsessed with Narcisse but then she and Henri accidentally watched Narcisse and Catherine fuck it was great) but she did visit Mary for her wedding to Darnley which was cute but sad.