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featherandferns · 7 months ago

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guilty as sin? (fic - part 2/2)

jj maybank x fem!routledge!reader | read part 1 here!

content warning: mentions of sexual content; mentions of parental abuse (drug misuse, physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse); physical violence (blood) | any questions for trigger warnings, feel free to inbox anonymously

word count: 10k.

blurb: you and JJ start a secret relationship under the radar of your half-brother, John B. But with your life in Colorado becoming more and more unavoidable, and stupid slip-ups as the two of you grow closer, it becomes harder to keep your affair secret.

Daylight brings you out of your sleep, disoriented. You grunt and try to bury yourself deeper into the sheets, hiding from the sunlight. They smell like JJ. It relaxes you like a baby soothed by its favourite blanket. But then you remember what happened, and where you are, and that it’s morning. Sitting up, you glance around the bedroom and yep, this is definitely not my room. You look down to find JJ still sleeping, his face smushed into pillow. He’s on his front, the bedsheets mostly hogged by yours truly, showing his back decorated with scratch marks. A weird sense of pride overcomes you, like you’ve marked your territory. Sighing, you relax back into the bed. There’s a dull ache between your legs and you’re slightly sticky with sweat, but neither is particularly unpleasant. After a few minutes, you decide you can’t take the quiet anymore.

You roll over and prod at JJ’s face.

“Mhm, leave me alone, it’s the weekend.”

“Wake up. I’m bored,” you say.

You keep poking until he bats your hand away. With a long exhale, he rolls onto his side and cracks open an eye.

“Hi,” you smile. It’s hard not. You feel like you’ve slept with a coat hanger in your mouth.

“Hi.”

He reaches out a hand and strokes the side of your face, tucking some hair behind your ears. There’s a sleepy smile growing on his face as he wakes up.

“Sleep okay?” he rasps, voice croaky from want of use.

“Mhm. You?”

“Like a Goddamn baby.”

With another grunt and sigh, he shifts onto his back and reaches blindly for his phone on the nightstand. He checks the time first, and then his notifications, and suddenly he jolts up in bed, wide awake.

“Your brother’s been blowing me up.”

You stomach drops. “What?”

“He’s asking if I know where you are,” JJ says, reading the texts.

“Do you think he knows I’m here?” you worry.

Suddenly the tryst of last night loses its incandescent glow. Reality is there in the morning the same way sun sheds light on all things that happen in the dark.

JJ shakes his head, eyes fixated on his screen. “No, no. He’d have come over.”

“Oh, right,” you mumble. You sit up and gnaw on one of your nails. JJ shuts off his phone and looks at you. “We gotta come up with an alibi.”

“Right. Course,” he nods.

“Um…We can just say that I slept over.”

JJ looks at you like you just suggested to commit a joint felony and skip state.

“Not that I slept over, slept over. You can say you saw shit go down with Tom, you offered to give me a ride back, I was upset and fell asleep.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I gave you the bed and I crashed on the couch, and we forgot to text him.”

“I think my phone’s dead anyway, so it’s not even a complete lie. And I did stay over here, so…”

JJ swallows. He nods and starts typing, sending the text. You both wait in pregnant silence for John B to respond. The minute it comes through, JJ reads it aloud.

“Cool. Just wanted to check she’s okay. Thanks for looking out for her.”

The sigh of relief the two of you share sounds rehearsed. As JJ types his reply, a question comes to mind. You’d spent all last night suppressing it, but now it spews out of you like word vomit.

“Is this a bad idea?”

JJ sends the message and shuts off his phone, looking to you. “Is what a bad idea?”

“This,” you say, gesturing between the both of you. “Us.”

“No,” JJ replies, but his expression tells you otherwise. “No. ‘Sides, it’s only gonna happen the one time, right? No harm done. What John B doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“Right. Yeah, the one time,” you echo.

JJ nods. “One time.”

Thank God neither of you are on the witness stand: you don’t sound very convincing. What was supposed to be a ‘get it out of the system’ affair might have unlocked some feral part of you that can’t go unfed. You didn’t have an extensive sexual history, but JJ blew all of them and your own psyche out of the water. That isn’t the kind of thing you can just walk away from, especially when you’ll see him every day.

“Just as long as John B doesn’t find out,” you hear yourself remark.

“Yeah. He’s got enough shit going on right now; we just need to be there for him.”

You nod.

“Sides. I made him a promise.”

Frowning, you ask, “a promise?”

“When you first came back to Kildare, I sort of brought up to John B that night at the bonfire, when you went to bed early, that I thought you were kinda cute. But he got ticked off. Told me you were going through a tough time and stuff, and to stay away from you. ‘If you’re a real friend, you’ll stay away from her’, to quote.”

“Yikes,” you mumble.

JJ nods, looking down at his hands. “Yep. Pretty clear message there.”

“Yeah, you really drove it home.”

He thankfully laughs at that.

“I mean, that’s some real Romeo and Juliet shit,” you add, laughing yourself.

He shakes his head. “Shit, I hope not. Don’t really wanna stab myself.”

“No, I stab myself. You just drink poison,” you correct.

“Yeah, I’m still not thrilled about that.”

You snigger and sink back into the pillows propped against his headrest. “I mean, it could be kinda fun, sneaking around.”

JJ raises a brow, lolling his head to the side to meet your gaze. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. Little secret hook-ups and stuff…”

“You’re that horny, huh?”

You shove his shoulder, revelling in his laugh. He grabs your hand and presses a quick kiss to your wrist. Then he looks at you, smiles, and it’s almost like a silent agreement. This is not a one-time thing.

“Breakfast?”

“God, yes,” you sigh.

JJ’s kitchen isn’t just messy, it’s unclean. You can understand why: his dad doesn’t scream house-wife energy and JJ is hardly home. He’s also, as hard as it is to admit it, a teenage boy. In the fruit bowl there’s mouldy peaches and bananas which are black. Fruit flies are having a feast, so at least there’s some positives to the pandemonium. The fridge is barren apart from some bacon. He keeps bread in the freezer so at least that isn’t mouldy. You perch yourself on the counter, dressed in nothing but his t-shirt, and watch him cook. It’s domestic and dull and you love every moment. He serves up two bacon sandwiches and passes one to you. Stands between your legs as you eat, one of his hands taking purchase on your bare thigh.

“S’good,” you tell him through your chewing.

“Thanks. Bout as good as my cooking gets.”

“Mhm. I could live off bacon sandwiches,” you say.

JJ chuckles. “Think Kie might have something to say about that. About how pigs are killing the planet with deforestation and treated unhumanely and bla bla bla.”

“I love your passion for political issues,” you sarcastically remark. He pinches your thigh in retaliation. You laugh. It’s simple and stupid and blissful.

When the two of you are done eating, he adds your dirty dishes to the impressive stack in the sink and makes no move to clean them. You follow him back to his bedroom and the two of you get dressed. He recommends you shower back the Chateau and you take it as code for ‘our bathroom is disgusting’. Thankfully when you peed in the dark last night, you were too fucked-out to notice. Once dressed, you tame your hair with a comb in the mirror and let JJ press kisses into your neck. He’s like a koala bear: it’s impossible to keep his hands off you. How the fuck are we gonna sneak around?

“We should head back before John B gets suspicious,” you tell him, placing the comb back on his desk.

JJ nods. He looks mouth wateringly good in his muscle tee. “I’ll take you back on my bike.”

Every minute spent as a backpack on JJ’s bike, you tether yourself to him as closely as possible. Now that the barrier has been broken, everything has come flooding out. Those same feelings that you harboured back in your preteens have only grown with your age. And now he’s here, in your arms, and you don’t want to let go. As the Chateau comes into sight, you know you have to. John B is hanging in the hammock with Kie. JJ kicks out the stand and steps off, as do you, and you both walk over with a safe space between you.

“Hey! Here they are!”

“Hey!” you smile back, waving to Kiara.

“Jeez, you guys took your time this morning,” John B comments.

Before JJ can speak, you say, “yeah, I had one too many last night. Threw up and needed more sleep.”

“Welcome to Kildare,” Kie grins. You laugh and give a mock bow as if you’d passed some unspoken initiation.

“Right, well, I gotta head out. Helping Lou out with some jobs today,” JJ declares.

“Alright man. See you round,” Kiara says, her attention already back on her phone.

“And thanks for taking care of my little sister,” John B adds.

JJ looks down at you. There’s a playful glint in his eyes as he says. “Yeah, no problem. It was fun.”

Asshole.

Then he’s wandering off to his bike, leaving you stranded, having to act as if last night never happened. You head into the house and work on your watercolours. All you can seem to notice is that the colours of the marsh water are the same as JJ’s eyes. The same eyes you stared into as he came apart underneath you.

Shit. This is going to suck.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sneaking around was…doable. If it weren’t for the Friday nights, you weren’t sure you’d be able to cope. Even then, the question grew more and more with each clandestine meeting. How long can this last?

Friday nights were spent at JJ’s house. You told John B that you were crashing at Lizzy’s, and JJ made up some bullshit excuse to get out of hanging out with the Pogues on Friday evenings: I gotta help my dad with this thing…The nights were spent tangled in bedsheets, pillow talk breaking up the unsated touching that made up for lost time. Your body is still recovering from the buzz of an orgasm when your phone starts to buzz on the nightstand.

JJ leans over and picks it up. His chest is damp with sweat from the nightly antics. He rolls back over to you and holds out your phone.

“Your mom’s calling.”

“Let it go to voicemail,” you tell him, not sparing it a glance.

JJ does as you say and when the ‘missed call’ notification appears, it’s accompanied by ‘(23)’.

“You ignoring her or something?” JJ asks, alluding to the pile-up of missed calls.

You look to him and shrug. “Or something.”

“What’s going on with all that, anyway?”

Your intestines twist uncomfortably. “What’d you mean?”

“I mean, why aren’t you in Colorado for the summer?”

“I told you. I wanted a change of scenery,” you say.

JJ laughs, unconvinced. “Bull-shit. You haven’t come back here in years, and you’re closer to L.A. than North Carolina. Why not go there? It’s warmer.”

“Hardly,” you say. “And it’s full of fake people. Influencers and tourists. And the traffic is—”

“Think we’re getting off topic?” JJ wonders, raising a brow.

You take your phone off him and clear the notifications, as if washing away your mom’s presence in your life entirely. Sitting up, you shove your hair off your face and dump your phone on the windowsill.

“What does it matter, JJ? So I wanted to come to Kildare again – who cares?”

“I care,” JJ replies. He sits up too.

You snort, irritation tickling at your throat. “What? Cause we’re fucking you think you deserve an explanation?”

He frowns. “Don’t say that.”

“Say what?”

“‘Fucking’. Like this thing between us isn’t deeper than that,” he argues.

Swallowing your anger, you sigh and close your eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just…It’s complicated.”

When you open your eyes, they land on your phone. The screen lights up as if on cue, and you know it’s your mom chasing you down for the millionth time. You’re not sure why keep avoiding her, like the problem might go away if you ignore it. It’s like a tumour: leaving it be will only cause it to fester and grow, and be all the more awful to deal with later. But facing the truth is so painfully hard. You lean over and turn your phone off completely.

“I thought John B already told you about it all, anyway,” you quietly say.

“Not really. Only that you were going through a tough time,” JJ replies.

Sighing, you lean back into the pillows.

Finding a small smile, you sardonically ask, “alright. You wanna hear my sob story?”

JJ sniggers but it isn’t mean. He shuffles closer so you can rest against him. His body was always more comfortable than his bedding anyway. That is his silent answer: yes.

“My mom got in this accident at work two years ago. They put her on Tylenol but it didn’t help, so they switched her to OxyContin. She got hooked pretty quick and started dating this dirt-bag Rick. He was her dealer and kept her supplied, cause most of the pharmacies cut her off when it was pretty obvious she was abusing,” you say.

It feels easier to get it all out in one go, like you might lose nerve if you don’t just commit.

“Rick’s a piece of shit. He doesn’t like me for whatever reason so he chips away at me. Just dumb stuff that probably doesn’t even sound that bad out of context, but when you’re in it, and someone’s picking away at you…It gets to you.”

JJ starts to stroke at your hairline. It prompts you to continue.

“Anyway, he started stealing my shit to sell, to keep him and my mom going. She couldn’t keep a job held down much so I started working to help out with bills. But then Rick started stealing my paychecks and spending my money on useless crap or drugs. I got angry and confronted them and…And my mom took his side, over me.”

You sigh and meddle with your fingers. The tears start to sting but you’re so tired of wallowing over it. You’ve wasted too much energy on her.

“I don’t think it’s a newsflash that she’s not the best mom. I mean, she left me with Big John for four years, dragged me across the country and never contacted her only son again. But it just hurt, having the person that brought you into the world pick a stranger over you, y’know?”

You eventually feel JJ nod against you. It’s not a feeling you have to describe for him; he knows more than anyone to feel pain at the hand of someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally.

“Rick got ticked off that I tried to go against him, so he got meaner. Left my room a mess, made me do the chores, dumb petty crap like that. The worst thing was when he found my paintings though. He tore them up and ruined them. Scribbled over them. And I know they’re just drawings, and I know this is going to sound dumb,” you warn, laughing self-deprecatingly. “But they were my escape. I hated it there, but I could draw these worlds and feel like they were just for me, and I could exist there instead. And even that was taken from me.”

Images that you repressed flash back into your mind. The enchanting gardens and psychedelic landscapes mottled with black ink, indistinguishable. The way it felt like your heart might fall out of your chest and shatter on your bedroom floor when you found scraps of your paintings tossed around your room.

You clear the memories with a shallow sigh.

“Anyway…” you continue. “I got lonely. Working and all the crap at home made me miss a lot of school. I didn’t have many friends anyway. The thought of spending a whole summer there was just…I couldn’t do it. So I hit up John B and boom. Here I am.”

JJ stares at you, digesting the story. It’s certainly not as chirpy and simple as ‘I wanted a change of scenery.’ It’s scary to strip yourself down to your most vulnerable core. Different to being naked and exposed during sex: almost worse.

“And you’re gonna go back there? When the summer ends?” JJ asks.

You look up at him. You can’t pick-out one emotion on his face, there’s so many. Anger, sadness, vengeance, concern…

“Yes. No. I don’t…” you cut yourself off with a sigh, shaking your head. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I do,” JJ is quick to return. “You should stay here.”

“What? And burden John B forever?”

“Sure. Why not?”

You laugh. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Why isn’t it?”

“Cause you’re forgetting that I’m a minor, JJ. And that Big John is missing, and John B is living alone illegally. If I try to transfer here and get emancipated from my mom, it’ll just open that whole can of worms and could do more damage than good. Me and John B could both end up in foster care, and I might still get sent back to Colorado either way.”

JJ wasn’t expecting such a thorough response. It was laughable that he thought you hadn’t debated moving back to Kildare. That was your original plan, until you contacted John B and found out his dad was gone. A summer escape felt like the best option, like a breath of fresh air away from your stifling homelife, but it wasn’t a long-term fix. Life was too convoluted for that.

“Why does it have to be legal? Just run away,” JJ eventually says.

You quirk a brow tiredly. “Run away? What, like I’m ten years old and didn’t get my choice on the TV?”

“I’m serious,” JJ sighs. He shifts, kneeling before you, holding your gaze. “Fuck the government and whatever. Just stay here. Nobody’s gonna rat you out.”

“What about school?”

“Pope can tutor you,” he says.

“And a place to stay?”

“John B’s room and my place. Hell, maybe Kiara’s folks have a spare room too.”

Your heart melts a little. He’s so determined.

Smiling sadly, you stroke his face lovingly. You don’t want to snuff out his last slither of hope. So, you gently tell him, “Maybe.”

“Yeah? You’ll think about it?” he hopefully asks.

You nod, heart clenching with the lie. “Yeah. I’ll think about it.”

You’re glad he kisses you then, because you can’t bare looking at him a moment longer knowing that in a month, you’ll be gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hurricane Agatha was a bitch. You’re amazed you managed to sleep through as much of the storm as you did.

You venture out your bedroom to find JJ leant against the doorframe of the porch. He’s already drinking a beer, early in the morning. You spot John B out in the backyard. He’s moving fallen branches out the way to recover the H.M.S. Pogue, back facing you. Breezing past JJ, you take advantage of John B’s distraction, slapping your unofficial boyfriend on the butt. He cusses, pinching your own as you head down the stairs. It’s the most you’ve been able to touch each other in over twenty-four hours without raising suspicion. You join your brother in ridding the boat of leaves and sticks. JJ wanders over.

“Whatcha thinking?” he asks.

“I’m thinkin’ that storm surge pushed all the crabs out on the marsh maze. All those drum are gonna chase the crab.” As he replies, John B clambers into the boat.

“What about the DCS? Wasn’t that today?” JJ asks.

John B had tried to keep as much of the DCS nightmare out of your line of sight, but you weren’t stupid. It certainly helped that you were sleeping with his best friend, a guy infamous for having loose lips. To say that John B getting found out would do some damage to yourself would be an understatement.

“Nah, they’re not getting on a ferry,” John B replies.

You look to JJ. He’s leant forward on the nose of the boat. His slender frame and well-kept body is frustratingly attractive when you can do nothing about it.

“Come on, think about it. It’s God telling us to fish!” John B says.

JJ shrugs. “I mean, I’m down. Just gotta take a leak first.”

John B says your name, drawing your attention back to him. “You coming?”

“Think I’m gonna stay in. Paint.”

JJ clears his throat, mumbling out ‘boring’ as he does. You mirthfully roll your eyes. Tapping the boat in farewell, you give a small wave.

“Have fun!”

There’s the crunch and snapping of twigs and leaves as JJ follows you back to the Chateau. You wander to the bathroom and retrieve your toothbrush. JJ joins you, shrugging his shorts down to pee. There’s no need to fill the domesticated sounds of living with chatter. Outside, John B continues to clear the boat. You spit into the sink and step aside so JJ can wash his hands. He brushes some of your hair off your shoulder when he’s done, leaning down to press a kiss on the spot where your neck becomes your shoulder. His hair tickles your skin and you laugh around your toothbrush.

“You sure you don’t wanna come today?” he asks, looping his arms around your waist.

You nod and spit into the sink again. His eyes meet yours through the reflection of the bathroom mirror. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’ve got some ideas I’ve wanted to get down for a while now, but I’ve been a little distracted.”

He grins at the insinuation.

“You looking forward to your birthday next week?” he asks.

“Mhm,” you hum, toothbrush back in mouth.

“You know what you want?”

“Mm-mm,” you say, shaking your head.

His grip tightens ever so slightly around you. “I’ve got a few ideas…”

One of his hands comes to hand on the middle of your upper back, coaxing you to lean forward over the bathroom sink. With that, he crudely pretends to take you from behind. Rolling your eyes, you wriggle out of his hold.

“You’re disgusting,” you say with a mouth full of toothpaste.

“You love it,” he quips. “Alright. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya.”

JJ plants another kiss to your bare shoulder, blows a raspberry, and laughs as you swat him away. There’s the open and shut of the front door, his energetic chatter with your brother, grunts and groans as they move the boat to the water, and then the sound of JJ’s whoops and hollers as they set off into the town. It’s quiet in the house without them there. You find JJ’s sweatshirt on the pull-out and shrug it on. The smell calms your soul. Taking purchase at the dining table, you retrieve your phone to find the service is out.

“Let’s see you try and call me now,” you mumble to your device, indirectly talking to your mother.

The watercolours you’ve accumulated over the past few weeks of living in Kildare could be made into a tourist guide. Whilst the gang helped at Heyward’s, you painted the shop front during a lemonade break; days spent on the H.M.S Pogue gave you drawings of the Marsh; evenings on the waterfront let you capture the beauty of the ocean. The bonfire and the hammock; JJ’s surf shack; your claimed bedroom in the Chateau…The more you painted, the more you fell in love with Kildare, and the more you wanted to stay. You refill your mason jar with fresh water and begin to work on your latest picture. It’s of JJ’s bedroom. You’ve spent enough time in there to recall it from memory. It feels like your corner of the world, safe away from prying eyes.

As the day stretches on, the group returns to the Chateau. You hear their loud chatter as they approach the house, and it seems to merge into some kind of argument when they get to the porch. Itabruptly ends after your brother announces: just let me think. You ditch your paint, hiding the artwork under less incriminating pieces, and head out to join them. JJ sits in the red armchair you’re so fond of, flicking his lighter. Kiara is on the sofa and you take the spot beside her, frowning at your brother’s face; he’s deep in thought.

“What’s going on?” you ask. You hope it isn’t the DCS.

Before anyone can reply, Pope comes racing up the stairs.

“Okay, so um, we didn’t see anything. We don’t know anything.”

You frown deepens. “What?”

He drops down onto the spot beside you, ignoring your question. “We need to have total and complete amnesia,” he tells John B.

“Actually, Pope’s right for once,” JJ says from the armchair. You all look over to him. “See, I agree with you sometimes.”

He gets to his feet, wandering towards John B. “Deny, deny, deny.”

“Guys, we can’t keep that money,” Kiara declares.

“Okay, not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara,” JJ tells her.

Now you’re annoyed. “What money? What the hell is going on!?”

“We found a boat,” John B replies.

“There was a key in the boat,” Pope continues.

“The key unlocked a motel room door,” Kie says.

“And we found a shit ton of money. And a gun,” JJ finishes.

“A gun?” you gape. He nods.

“Which he stole,” Kie points out.

Your mouth hangs open even more, if that is somehow possible. “You kept the gun, JJ?”

“It was a good gun,” he defends, throwing his arms up.

Idiot. You drop your head into your hands. “I leave you guys alone for one day…”

“I was trying to be the voice of reason!” Pope tells you, defending himself.

You shake your head. “Wait? Whose money and gun was it? Whose boat was it?”

“Scooter Grubbs,” John B replies.

“We have to pass the money on to Lana Grubbs, otherwise it’s bad karma,” Kiara says.

“Bad karma to be implicated in a felony, too,” Pope chimes in.

Felony? Yeah, you’re already pushing it staying with your half-brother, unsupervised in a state different to your mom who doesn’t exactly know where you’ve gone…

“We gotta go dark,” he finishes.

JJ paces past the three of you, saying, “if that means we get to keep the money, then I agree.”

As he comes to a stop in front of the porch entryway, John B seems to return to the room, out of his thoughts. He pats JJ’s bare shoulder. “I don’t agree.”

“What? Why?”

“Just think about it,” John B says. “This is Scotter Grubbs we’re talking about. Alright? Same dude that’s buying individual cigarettes at the Porthole. Shit, one time I saw this dude begging for change in the Save-A-Lot parking lot because he needed gas.”

All of you watch John B’s spiel. “We’re talking about a dirtbag marina rat who’s never had more than forty bucks in his pocket, and all of a sudden he’s got a Grady-White? Just sayin’.”

“Wait? What’s a Grady-White?” you ask, looking to JJ. He fills you in. Short answer: a very expensive boat.

“Well, I vote we don’t keep the money,” Pope says.

“I vote we keep it,” JJ disputes, lifting his hand. He looks to John B but he doesn’t respond. Then he looks to you, and you crumble under the gaze, shrugging.

“I don’t know,” you mumble.

“Let’s take the day to think about it,” Kiara says.

And that you do. You all venture onto the jetty to fish. You stand beside JJ as he waits for something to bite, fighting the urge to lean against him. John B continues chattering away to Pope, painting the scene of a drug smuggling industry. Him and JJ agree that if he was ‘straight smuggling’, there’s probably more contraband in the boat wreck. Somehow you all wind up in your bedroom, and Pope finally relents. He agrees to rummage the wreck for contraband but ensures to underline how stupid he thinks it is.

“Right, well, stupid things have good outcomes all the time,” JJ philosophises. You watch him fan out the money.

You can’t help but feel the saying can relate to your own secret romance. Is it a stupid, remarkably bad idea to keep fooling around? Yes. Is the temporary outcome good? Hell yes.

“All we need to do is figure out a way to get into the cargo hold of that wreck. Until then, we just lay low. Act normal.”

“Right, and how exactly do we do that?” Pope asks from your bed.

“Keggar?” Kie offers.

Everyone shares a look. You sigh. “I can’t. I gotta go to work.”

“The restaurants probably a wreck. Just skip,” JJ responsibly says.

You shake your head. “Well, I gotta help out even if it is. Lizzy’s probably gonna be there anyway.”

“You gonna want a lift back later?” John B wonders.

You look to JJ. He’s already watching you. “Nah, I’ll just sleep at Lizzy’s.”

He knows the code. Gives the vaguest, barely-there nod in confirmation. The group gets up, everyone filtering out the bedroom door into the main of the house, chattering about what drinks to get and how to round everyone up with the cell towers down. JJ lingers in your room a moment longer, keeping you there with a gentle grab of your wrist.

“What time should I come get you?”

“Ten,” you reply. “Outside the restaurant.”

“You got it,” he nods.

A chaste kiss and then the two of you let go of one another, joining the others in the main room. Your heart is hammering so loud you’re surprised nobody can hear it. It felt like you were playing with fire, kissing so close to the others. And fire is known for one thing: it burns.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

There’s a pattern seen in serial killers. After the first five or so murders, they start to slack. Cover their tracks less, take larger risks. You and JJ weren’t out killing anyone – despite his reckless ordeal at the keggar which you later heard about through the grapevine – but you weren’t being as vigilant as when it first started out. The two of you had started to get sloppy.

Now two weeks into the illicit affair, you could hardly recall the last full truth you told John B. Your alibis were harder to keep track of. Your excuses started to weaken. And your ability to keep your hands off JJ became near to impossible. Even if it was a fleeting touch, a loving stroke of his tousled hair…It was almost reflexive. One time Kiara caught you wipe something off his cheek. The moment you saw her in your peripheral, you acted as though you were messing with him, sticking a finger in his ear to get a reaction. But she saw it, and it was a stupid thing to do.

In JJ’s bedroom, there’s a collection of your things. They’ve accumulated over time the way rocks build up on a shoreline: slow and steady, until they’re everywhere. Hair ties scattered along the desk, skincare on his bedside table, spare clothes and underwear in his closet, a toothbrush in the bathroom (that he reluctantly cleaned up). The biggest tell was your art supplies. If John B were to walk in, there’d be questions. JJ wasn’t exactly known as a monogamous guy or an artist. Your brother wasn’t stupid: you reckon he could put the pieces together pretty damn quickly. But it was hard to find it in you to care, when staying with JJ on Friday nights felt like you were playing house.

You’d asked to help him shave the other day after he gave you beard burn on the inside of your thighs. That’s how you find yourself sat on the countertop, precariously balanced on the edge of the bathroom sink, with a razor in hand. He’s stood between your legs, running a finger up and down your thigh, and watching you as you work. Every now and then you clean the razor of hairs in the sink, filled with water. One of your hands cradles his jawline, the other delicately tracing the razor down his cheek, along the apex of his neck.

“Two more days and you’ve caught up with us,” JJ says, referring to your upcoming birthday.

You smile, looking up to meet his gaze. God, you could drawn in his eyes, drift away in them. “About damn time.”

“I think Kie’s made you a cake.”

“That’s sweet,” you hum.

“Your mom gonna call?”

“Probably,” you sigh.

They’d fixed the cell towers now. An influx of texts came through, namely asking if you were safe after the hurricane. You felt the need to say that you were and did so with a simple ‘thumbs up’ reaction. That was the most you’d said to her in a month and a half.

JJ distracts you from thoughts of your mom by tracing the scar lining your elbow. The same scar that helped JJ place a name to your face after so long apart. “Remember when you broke this,” he says.

“Same. Think it’s the most pain I’ve ever been in,” you snort.

“You wouldn’t stop crying. I had to kiss you on the forehead just to get you to shut up,” he sniggers.

JJ and John B had been climbing a tree and you didn’t want to be left behind. You also wanted to impress a certain blonde-haired boy. But you lost your footing and fell, landing at a wonky angle. It was embarrassing, and painful, and embarrassing a couple more times.

“Yeah, I remember that too,” you say, smiling. “I had the biggest crush on you. I thought I was going to faint when you did it.”

“You had a crush on me?” JJ asks.

You pull away enough for him to see your face. It perfectly says really, man? He laughs. You resume your previous position.

“You were always cute.”

“Yeah right. You always saw me as John B’s little sister.”

“Well, yeah. But you were sweet. You used to bring me Hershey kisses.”

Your face feels burning hot. God, you were so subtle back then. “Stop talking or I’m gonna nick you by accident.”

He obliges, his shit-eating grin slowly fading as you work. The satisfying scrape of the razor ridding JJ of facial hair comes to an end with one final swipe. You clean the razor, wipe him clean with a wet flannel, and plant a kiss to his lips.

“Done.”

He steps around you and leans forward, inspecting himself in the mirror. He strokes at his skin, sucking his teeth with an impressed expression.

“Pretty good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You finally gonna quit complaining about my beard making you itchy?”

“Look! It’s left a mark!” you defend, opening your legs and gesturing to the inside of your thighs.

JJ grins. He slides his large palms along the inside of your quads, fingers spanning out across the skin.

“Wanna give the new shave a test run?” he asks.

He sinks to his knees. Your smile grows, heart trilling with erotic excitement. Your fingers loop through his golden hair, nails scratching at his scalp. He places two kisses to your thigh, working towards your core. Fingers hooking onto the waistband of your shorts, you hoist yourself up so he can begin to wiggle them down your legs.

The sound of the front door slamming shut has you both freezing.

Luke Maybank clears his throat, walking into the house. You pull your shorts back up, heart loud in your throat. JJ gets to his feet and pulls the plug from the sink, draining it of water. Then you both stare wide eyed into the living room of the house. Luke collapses on the couch with a sigh, beer bottle in hand. JJ helps you down from the counter, quietly placing you on the floor. You’re not sure what to do. What the best approach is. What kind of mood Luke is in. Following JJ’s lead seems the best way to go. He looks away from the room to you. His gaze is steely and determined.

“Go into my room and go out the window,” JJ instructs in a whisper.

You nod and don’t argue. Slowly, you slink down the corridor and slide into JJ’s bedroom. You push the door closed gently, hoping for it click into the frame without drawing attention.

“JJ? That you?” Luke calls.

Cringing, you shut your eyes, hang your head, and press it against the door. You hear JJ pass the bedroom.

“Y-yeah, I’m here.”

“Thought you were at Routledge’s house,” Luke says. His voice is gruff and reminds you of sandpaper.

“Nah. Not tonight,” JJ replies. He doesn’t sound like his usual self: carefree and jovial. No, he sounds guarded. On edge, like he’s working with a wild animal, unsure of how it may react. “Thought you were out tonight too.”

“What? I can’t come back to my own home whenever I want?”

“No, course. Course you can,” JJ says.

You don’t want to leave him alone with his dad, but you know staying is risky. If Luke finds you whilst he’s in a rage, it might make things worse. He might lash out at JJ, or worse, he might turn on you. So, you slink across the room and step onto JJ’s desk, using his chair as a boost. The window slides open with little effort and you hook a leg over. The other joins it and you dangle a moment, looking down at where to land. It’s a drop about the same height as you. Bracing yourself, you bend your knees as you hit the grass. Another glance is spared to the house. It’s quiet: no shouting or fighting. Sighing, feeling as if you’re betraying JJ somehow, you begin to walk home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

As you round the corridor into the living room, your heart sinks in disappointment when you don’t find JJ asleep out on the pull-out. Instead, the bed is half-made and abandoned. You haven’t seen JJ since you snuck out of his house last Friday. Sighing, you turn into the kitchen and open the fridge. A few gulps of orange juice out of the carton count as your breakfast. Looking to the calendar stuck to the fridge with a magnet, you point on today’s date.

“Happy birthday, me,” you mumble.

A pair of arms grab you from behind, picking you up off the floor. You yelp out in surprise.

“Happy birthday!” John B cheers.

Laughing, you let him shake you before returning you safely to the floor. Turning around, you find John B digging about in his short pockets. He retrieves a small, wrapped package and hands it to you.

“Happy sweet seventeenth.”

“The big one-seven,” you reply, thanking him.

You uncover a small pendant necklace made of sterling silver. It’s shaped like the North Carolina state. Lips moving, you give a small breath of admiration, stunned at its simple beauty.

“You like it?” he checks. You get the sense that he doesn’t buy a lot of jewellery. Looking up, you feel tears sting at your eyes. Throwing your arms around your older brother’s shoulders, you hug him.

“I love it. Thank you.”

“Course. I figured that way you always have a piece of Kildare with you,” John B says.

It’s a bittersweet sentiment. There’s only a month left of your stay in Kildare. Colorado and your life there looms like a storm cloud in the future, warning of an unavoidable downpour.

You pass the necklace to him. “Will you?”

As you turn, pulling your hair up and out the way, John B loops the necklace around your neck. When its secured, you drop your hair and turn back to him.

“How do I look?”

“Like a Pogue,” he grins.

You squeeze him in another hug before letting him grab some breakfast.

JJ doesn’t answer his phone. He doesn’t reply to texts or pick up calls. It’s frustrating as hell. You keep checking your phone as you shower, as you dress and as you do your make-up. As you finish putting on mascara, it starts to buzz. You don’t even check the caller ID: you just answer.

“Hello?”

“Oh, so you are alive.”

Mom.

You can’t speak. Can’t find enough air in your lungs to formulate words. Even if you could, nothing comes to mind. Nothing.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“I’m here,” you manage out.

“Well I guess I should say happy birthday.”

It’s incredible how such a sweet statement sounds bitter on her tongue.

“Thanks,” you reply.

“So, I’m guessing you must have been pretty busy this summer. That’s the only way to explain the radio silence since you left,” she says.

“Mom, I—”

“I’m talking now. Not you.”

You swallow. Thank God you skipped breakfast: you feel sick to your stomach.

“When are you coming back home?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” She laughs. “Well, you have to come back sometime.”

“Says who?” you snap.

There’s a tense silence. “Says me.”

You don’t speak. Suddenly, JJ’s stupid idea of running away seems incredible smart.

“I’m staying in Kildare for at least another month,” you tell her.

“At least?”

“Yes. At least.”

“And then what? You’re going to become a nomad? Hitchhike around the country?”

“And then…Then it’s none of your concern. It won’t be your problem; it’ll be mine.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” your mom says, tone sharp like broken glass. “You’re coming home the minute the summer ends.”

Your patience twists into something dark and unfamiliar. Rage clouds your vision and your mind.

“Home? Is that what you call that place? Because Colorado hasn’t felt like home to me ever, mom. Ever.”

“You’re making a big thing—”

“No, I’m not,” you snap. Getting to your feet, you begin to pace the room. “You don’t even want me there! You just want my money. You don’t want me. You don’t even pay attention to me!”

“I’m busy trying to keep us alive,” you mom argues.

“Alive? Is that what you call it?” You can’t help but laugh. “If that’s ‘alive’, mom, then I don’t want it.”

“Just…Look, we’re just saying things, alright? You can come home, and we can talk, and we can work things out,” she says, sounding more human.

But you can’t believe it. Can’t trust it. It’s like a glass that’s been broken over and over again. You can glue it together, keeping most of the pieces in place, but it’ll never be as beautiful as it was before. Your mom is forever tainted in your mind. The damage is already done.

Pressing your eyes shut, you take a deep breath. “I’m staying here, mom.”

She begins to say your name, but you cut her off.

“I’m staying in Kildare. I’m staying here with John B, and JJ, and Kiara. They’re taking care of me. I’m okay. I’m eating, and I’m earning money, and I’m safe. But I can’t come back to Colorado. Not until Rick leaves…”

You feel your lower lip tremble.

“And not until you get clean.”

She’s silent for a minute. A long, long minute.

“And what if I don’t want you to stay in Kildare?” she asks. Her voice is quiet when she says it, like she’s powerless. And maybe she is.

It doesn’t feel good when you reply, “then I’ll report you and Rick to the cops, for child neglect and drug dealing.”

When people play chess, there’s a certain moment that the game is won. Check and mate. It’s a strategy game. You feel the moment your mom realises she’s lost. Your final piece takes position, and she’s rendered useless. She can either surrender - and let you stay in Kildare without complaint or contest - or force your hand to knock her off the board with a quick phone call to the police.

“And you’re safe?” she whispers.

Your heart splinters. It wasn’t her fault she got addicted, but it was her fault that she wasn’t there for you when you needed her most. They say time heals all wounds and you pray that to be true.

“I’m safe,” you assure her, voice wavering.

She doesn’t speak for a few seconds.

Then, quietly, she says, “well, happy birthday. Just…don’t ignore me like that again. I need to know that you’re okay.”

You nod. The tears start to fall and you press your lips together. “Okay, mom. I’ll text you. I promise.”

Through a shaky breath, you feel the three words form on your tongue. Three words that you haven’t said to her since you left North Carolina. But before they can pass through your lips, she clicks off the line without another word. You let out a pained sob. It’s so strange to get everything you ever wanted, and nothing that you wanted at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Your birthday passes by in a blink.

After the phone call with your mom, you sobbed for an hour. John B came knocking and held you through it, and when you asked if it was okay for you stay for the foreseeable future, he seemed more than ecstatic. All we have is each other, now. There’s something strangely tethering about trauma.

Pope and Kiara came around in the early afternoon. She’d made the most incredible birthday cake. Sage green buttercream frosting with edible flowers arranged around the rim. In the centre it had 17 written in white icing. They sang happy birthday and lit the candles, and as you blew them out, you wished for JJ to show up. Apparently, nobody had heard from him lately. It filled your stomach with led.

After asking what you wanted to do, the four of you relaxed in the backyard. It was an excuse to drink and listen to music. Pope discussed the latest book he read with you as you rocked in the hammock. John B began to talk about the Royal Merchant. He’d seemingly become more and more enthralled in the shipwreck. Whilst you’d been at work, covering shifts for people affected by the hurricane, they’d been pursuing the whole Grady-white shipwreck. Turns out, it was all connected to the royal merchant and Big John. You weren’t sure how you felt about that revelation. The group also seemed to be dubious. So, when Kie fell into a discussion about the treasure hunt with your older brother, you happily tuned it out.

Around seven, Kie and Pope left. John B seemed pretty exhausted so he said he was going to get an early night. You agreed and trudged into your room, but sleep wouldn’t come no matter how drained you felt. As per routine, at ten, you slip into your crocs and head into the living room, sights set on the porch. You stop short. The porch light filters into the main bulk of the room.

“JJ,” you whisper to yourself.

Walking out, opening the door, you find him on the couch. For once, he’s facing the doorway. He looks up from his lighter that he’s been messing with and meets your gaze. At the sight of his lips twitching up at the corners, you break into a smile and rush over. Practically wrestle him into a hug. He laughs, wrapping his arms around you. The way he holds you feel holy. Two days apart and you felt like you were having withdrawal.

“Happy to see me?”

“Where the hell have you been?” you ask into his t-shirt.

He pulls away. You sit on his lap, looking down at him, surveying his face for injuries.

“I got roped into some shit with my dad,” he says.

“He didn’t…”

You can’t bring yourself to ask, but your hand outstretching, tracing his features for some sign of pain, finishes the question.

He shakes his head, taking your hand from his face to intertwine it with his own.

“No, no. Just had to keep him busy, really. Helped out at the harbour and shit. Dropped my phone in the water like a dumbass.”

Ah. That explains the radio silence.

JJ smiles up at you. “Anyway. I’ve back now.”

“Good,” you say. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” he mumbles.

One of his hands reaches up to play with a strand of your hair. He lets it go, it falls into the mess atop of your head, and he traces his fingers down your body before resting at your hip. All the while, JJ stares at you, taking you in like he’s taking in an eclipse. Like you’re something that deserves to be admired.

“Happy birthday,” he says.

You smile, bright like a supernova. “Thanks.”

“Good day?”

You’re not sure how to tell him about the greatest gift of all: your mom letting you stay in Kildare. So, you just nod dumbly. JJ picks the pendent of your necklace off your skin, inspecting it.

“Who got you this? It’s pretty.”

“My mistress,” you joke.

He rolls his eyes.

“John B.”

“It’s pretty,” he repeats, letting it sit against your skin once more. He lets his touch linger against your sternum. God, you missed him. “Kie’s cake good?”

“Mhm. There’s some left in the kitchen. I’ll get us some,” you say.

You move to climb off him to retrieve a couple of slices but JJ grabs at your hips, keeping you in place and capturing your attention once more.

“Gotta give you your gift first.”

JJ leans down to retrieve your present from under the sofa where he’s stashed it. He hands it to you, a brown paper parcel finished with garden string, with a foreign nervous smile on his face.

“I hope they’re the right ones.”

Confused by what he might mean, you begin to open it. The brown paper crinkles in your hands as you unwrap your present. A small, elated gasp falls out your mouth as you lay your eyes on a set of Winsor and Newton watercolour paints. You trace a finger over the silver tin as if to prove you aren’t hallucinating.

“You like ‘em?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

Winsor and Newton paints. The worlds that you can illustrate flash through your mind, igniting your imagination in ways that you haven’t experienced for years. You feel a quivering smile, overwhelmed with emotion for the paints and for the boy who bestowed them upon you, and look up. He’s smiling, watching you, and you lean forward to wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love them. Thank you, JJ.”

His arms wrap safely around your middle, pulling you against him in the embrace. You move your lips to his, sighing as you finally reconnect through the kiss. When you break apart, only a hair’s width between your mouth and his, you feel those same words from earlier today fly up and through you.

“I love you.”

You say it quiet and private, like a prayer.

His eyes falter to meet your own. There’s a nervous breath as he takes in your declaration.

“I love you too,” he breathes.

As you kiss, you feel your heart melt into liquid gold. For once in your life, things feel as though they’re falling into place. The rough brush of JJ’s tongue prying into your mouth has you tilting your head. You let him imbibe you. You treasure the way his rough hands, worn from work on the harbour, slip under your t-shirt. His touch is cold against your burning skin.

“What the fuck.”

Fool’s gold.

You startle at the interruption, head spinning to find John B stood on the porch. He’s gaping at you and JJ like he may have just seen a ghost. Disbelief and horror shadow his face.

“John…” you choke.

His eyes flit from you, from your lips, to JJ. To his hand still under your shirt. To his hand planted securely on your hip. To how you’re sat in his lap. To your own tethered into his hair. To your own wrapped lovingly around his neck. It’s as incriminating as finding a murderer holding the knife above a dead body. No excuse, no justification. Nothing. No alibi can save you now. It’s a clean and shut case.

“What the fuck is going on?” John B mutters. His thoughts seem to be catching up with him second by second. His chest begins to rise, anger flaring his veins, and his expression hardens. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Look, man, just—”

But your brother strides over and practically rips JJ out from under you. You hear yourself scream out as he shoves JJ onto the porch floor, landing a hard punch into his jaw. JJ takes the hits, doesn’t even try to fight back, only fumbles to try and push John B off him. You start to scream like a hysteric. Shriek for him to stop. Beg for him to. You grapple at John B’s shirt, trying to pull him off your boyfriend, as he lands hit after hit. The sound is sickening, of flesh hitting flesh. You feel tears fall down your cheeks in panic as he refuses to let up.

“Get off him, John!” you screech.

Finally, you pull him off. The two of you tumble to the floor.

JJ turns onto his side, coughing and spitting out blood, groaning in pain. He lifts a finger to dap at his lip, wincing as he draws it back to find it red. You go to help him, to check that there’s no lasting damage, but John B holds you back. He moves towards his best friend once more but you grab at his shirt.

“John, please don’t,” you blubber, trying to keep him away.

He swallows thickly and closes his eyes, taking a slow, measured breath to try and calm his rage. Then, he turns his head to you. The betrayal in his eyes makes you sob.

The sound of JJ’s groans has the attention back on him. He’s struggling to his knees, a hand coming to cradle his jaw.

“Shit, JB. You can throw a hell of a punch,” JJ mutters. He spits out more blood. It makes you cringe.

JJ gets to his feet. John B follows. You can’t find strength to get off the floor. Your eyes are transfixed for a while on the pool of blood where JJ laid.

“You promised me,” John B seethes.

You look up and finally muster the courage to stand. You watch as JJ looks to you. Can see how he wants to grab you and console you just like he used to when you were a child. Just like he did when you fell out of the tree. But his better judgement makes him decide against it.

“It’s not what it looks like, alright?” JJ tries, voice steady.

“Not what it looks like? What? You groping my little sister isn’t what it looks like?” John B barks.

JJ scowls. “I wasn’t groping her. And she’s hardly your little sister. You’re less than a year older than her!”

That pisses your brother off more. He takes a step towards JJ but you reach an arm out, stopping him.

“She’s vulnerable, JJ.”

You frown. Offense stings in your heart. Does he really think you so defenceless? So incapable of judging others for yourself?

“She’s seventeen, John B. She can make her own choices without you making them for her,” JJ argues. “She knows what’s in her best interest.”

“Oh? And you’re her best interest?” John B scoffs.

JJ’s gaze darkens. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

No. No, this is not helping. It’s only making matters worse.

“You know what I mean! You fuck a new girl every other week! You can’t keep your fingers off other people’s shit, you lie like you’ve been doing it since day one—”

“John-”

Your quiet plea goes ignored. John B takes another challenging step towards JJ. You can’t hold him back. He’s stronger than you. They both are.

“You’re gonna end up in a cell just like your dad and leave my sister as collateral when you get bored of sleeping with a girl whose been in love with you since she was a kid.”

JJ’s fist hits John B square on the cheek. John B hurls his own punch and they end up in some messy wrestle. They fall onto the coffee table and fumble out weak throws. Fear for what may happen to either of them makes you act with stupidity. You dart forward and try to pry them off one another. Somewhere in the chaos, a stray punch hits you in the nose. Pain blinds you. You yelp and fall backwards against the couch, hands flying up to your face. They stop. JJ utters your name.

When you pull your shaking hand away, you find it soaked with blood. Your chest heaves with panic as the pain sets in. JJ shoves John B off and comes to your side.

“S’alright, s’alright,” he soothes.

You’re not like JJ. You don’t take hits like it’s your day job. You’ve never been punched in your life. The last major injury you sustained was your broken arm, back when you were thirteen. Sobbing in pain, you feel yourself panic at the sight of flowing blood.

“S’okay. Lean forward, alright? You gotta lean forward,” JJ instructs.

He shifts you so you’re sitting on the floor, back against the sofa. You let him guide your fingers to the bridge of your nose and pinch at the soft skin. There’s the distant sound of John B rushing into the house. You don’t see it, though. Your eyes are pressed shut to not look at the blood.

“You feel okay?”

“I feel sick,” you mumble. And not just from the nosebleed.

“S’alright. It’ll stop soon,” JJ reassures.

He strokes your back lovingly, dragging your hair off your face as your head bows forward. You choke on the metallic taste that trickles into your other senses. God, everything is a mess.

“Here, here,” John B mutters.

You crack open your eyes to see him drop to his knees beside you. He hands JJ a towel. JJ lifts it to your nose, wiping some of the blood off your skin before holding it steady below your nostrils. It soaks with blood.

“Shit, should she be bleeding that much?” John B asks JJ.

“She’ll be fine,” JJ snaps. He probably doesn’t want to freak you out more. “It’s normal.”

And, eventually, after two towels are soaked, the blood flow slows to a stop.

“I think it’s stopped,” JJ mumbles.

You let him remove the towel. It feels risky to sniff. The smell and taste of blood is consuming and makes you feel nauseous. Tentatively, you try lifting your head. JJ and John B are staring at you. They’re nothing less than concerned.

“How do I look?” you croak.

JJ tries to fight it but fails. He sniggers, then John B does, and you find your own smile. Then the three of you are laughing like you’re drunk.

“That bad, huh?”

“Never looked hotter,” JJ lies through his laughter.

“Yeah…this isn’t your best look,” John B comments.

When the humour passes, you shake your head and look to John B. Like a storm at sea, his anger seems to have passed, not a sign that it was ever there on his face. JJ’s calmed down too. You know they’ll have to talk it out, the things John B said to him, but words said in fury are usually far from true. Cheap shots to try and hit JJ where it hurts. Brothers fight.

“I’m sorry we kept it a secret from you,” you say to John B.

His eyes slip shut like your apology pains him. Like you’re applying balm to his fresh wounds. Sighing, he opens them to ask, “how long has it been happening?”

You and JJ share a look. He clears his throat before answering. “About a month. Maybe a bit longer.”

“It started the third week after I came to Kildare,” you clarify.

John B exhales with disbelief. “No. No, that can’t be true.” Before you try and explain further, he’s looking to JJ. “You can’t keep your mouth shut for a whole fucking month.”

JJ cracks up. A smile creeps onto your face too. “I think it’s a new record, man, honestly.”

“Yeah, congrats,” John B grunts, rolling his eyes.

“We just didn’t want to tell you cause we know things have been weird since your dad went missing, and you’ve sort of been hooked on this Royal Merchant thing,” you say to your brother.

“And cause you sort of told me to specifically not date your sister,” JJ meekly tags on.

John B sends him a damning look. JJ cringes. “I mean, I’ve never been good at doing as I’m told so this is kinda on you. Just partly.”

“Careful,” John B warns.

You grab for your brother’s hand. A stray stream of blood slips from your nose and JJ lifts the towel to wipe it away. John B meets your gaze.

“We’re not just fooling around,” you say. As his brows knit together, you spare a glance to JJ as if trying to muster up courage. “I love him.”

John’s mouth falls open. You might as well have just told him you’re pregnant. He looks to JJ as if needing some clarification, and he just nods and shrugs, his expression something close to yep, it’s true.

“I just wish you guys told me,” John B eventually tells you. Then, laughing, he adds, “and how long were you even planning on keeping this up?”

“Well...We hadn’t really got that far,” JJ fumbles, scratching the back of his neck.

You all share a laugh. John B nods and looks between the two of you. Like a pill he must swallow, he accepts his fate. You’re not proud, but you wouldn’t change a thing. Taking the risk with JJ was the best choice you ever made.

“I don’t love it,” John B says. Then, with a pained sigh, he adds, “but I’ll get used to it.”

You and JJ immediately lock eyes; smiles of relief and elation sparking to life.

“But you hurt her, and I’ll lay you out,” John B warns JJ, in a stereotypical brotherly fashion.

JJ nods. He seems to know now that John B will uphold that promise to the highest degree. “Scout’s honour,” he swears, crossing his heart and holding up three fingers.

John B looks to your once more and offers you a hand. He helps you off the floor.

“Jeez. What a birthday. You found out you get to stay in Kildare and have a nosebleed all in one day.”

“Wait, what?” JJ barks.

Your head darts around to the blonde-haired boy.

“You’re staying in Kildare?”

Realisation dawns upon you. In the pandemonium, you’d forgotten to tell him. A sheepish smile settles on your face. “Oh yeah, um…I have some news.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Your bedroom door swings open as Kiara sings out, “morning lovebirds!”

JJ groans from beside you at the wake-up call. You crack open your eyes through the streaming sunlight and look to the doorway. John B’s head pops into view.

“Get up! We’re recovering a shipwreck!” he adds.

Kie grabs a sock from the floor and tosses it at your boyfriend.

“Get up,” she repeats.

The door slams shut and you chuckle, rolling onto your back and staring at the ceiling. JJ stirs from beside you. You feel his finger reach out to prod your cheek.

“Mornin’,” he rasps.

You look over to him, smiling sleepily. “Morning.”

“Sleep okay?”

“Like a Goddamn baby,” you grin.

He smiles at that. Sighing and groaning and making all kinds of fuss, JJ stretches in bed.

The two of you gradually emerge from your room. It’s hard to get dressed when your boyfriend keeps grabbing at your hips, sucking hickeys into your neck, stealing your bikini bottoms. There’s a persistent knocking at the door every five minutes from each of the Pogues, telling you to quit macking and get ready.

You wolf down breakfast at the dinner table, mulling over your latest painting. It’s of JJ’s back, arguably your favourite feature of him, when he used to sleep on the pull-out sofa. The room is bathed in moonbeams, bed made up of messy plaid blankets and mismatching pillows. The new paints make everything feel so lifelike and vivid. You’re debating adding faint pink lines to represent scratch marks on his back….

“Come on! We gotta go!” John B declares, drumming on your head as he passes you to the front door.

JJ finishes your Poptart as you text your mom a quick update for the day, and then the two of you join the Pogues in the Twinkie. He hooks an arm over your shoulder, holding you against him as you sit in the back with Pope. They fall into a debate about the scientific benefits of weed (JJ is, no surprise, in favour) whilst Kie and John B discuss tactics for finding the Royal Merchant. As you rest against your boyfriend, you smile and close your eyes. You finally found your home. You found it in Kildare.

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writingouthere · 10 months ago

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bestfriendsbrother!Sukuna x pregnant!reader one-shot

summary: you're excited to finally share with all your friends that your pregnant when the party is interrupted by your best friend's older brother, who you didn't invite, but who you did have unprotected sex with less than two months ago.

cw: reader is pregnant, Sukuna is a bad dude, possessive behavior, minor smut, still as usual nicer than it sounds because I can't help it.

**************

"I'm pregnant!"

Your news is met with a period of silence before your friends look at each other, uncertain as to how to react.

Nobara finally breaks the silence, an eyebrow raised. "And we feel...."

"We're happy about it," you say and your friends are then quick to congratulate you. You hear some sort of scuffling happening behind you and you turn around to see Yuuji unfolding a "We're having a Baby!" banner which makes Megumi nearly jump out of his chair.

"Holy shit, did you two-"

"No!"

"Ew, no!"

Yuuji frowns at you. "The 'ew' wasn't necessary."

You and Nobara scoff. "It was," you tell him. "And I say that with all my love."

"Okay, so if this idiot didn't knock you up-"

"Hey!"

"-then who did?"

You'd been expecting the question and had prepared for it. "It was just a one night stand, he's not really father material." Everyone looks like they want to ask more questions so you smile at them, genuinely happy they all look ready to commit a crime for you. "It's okay, I have a good job and this is something I've wanted for a long time. This baby will be really loved because it will have me and, I hope, all of you."

Your friends are quick to agree and there's some lighter questions about potential names, nurseries and Nobara and Todo are looking at her phone debating baby onesies, when the door to you and Yuuji's apartment opens and someone you had definitely not invited comes in.

"Sukuna! You're late, you missed the big news," Yuuji calls out as he walks over and claps his brother on the back. A few people call out greetings as Yuuji's older brother looks around the apartment. His eyes linger on you for a second, a smirk tugging up on his lip before he notices the sign hanging crooked over the kitchen doorway and he laughs without an ounce of humor.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, you knocked someone up? You irresponsible piece of shit-"

"It's not his and don't kill him, you asshole," Megumi says from where he has now joined the onesies discussion and points over at you. "It's the other person who lives here."

Sukuna pauses from where he was about to murder his brother, to look back over at you. You wonder if his brain is doing the same cursed math that you had done when you were hyperventilating, holding a stick covered in your own pee, but before he could ask anything, Maki ended the silent stand off.

"And we're happy about it, so get happy you piece of shit."

With that, the party continues on, people breaking off until little groups and snacks being placed strategically throughout the apartment.

You're feeling thirsty, and a little exhausted from the burning stare that's been directed at you for the past hour when you excuse yourself from where Miwa and Mechamaru had been talking about their own future plans for children, who you're sure would be socially inept but gorgeous enough to make up for it, and made your way to the kitchen.

You were pulling out some water, no alcohol for you even though you really needed it, when you felt someone's presence behind you.

"So when were you going to tell me we were having a baby?"

"Never, because it's not yours," you answered firmly, slamming the door to the fridge for good measure. Sukuna leaned against the cabinet next to you but you'd known him long enough to see the pose for what it was. A ruse, a performance of casualness. The fingers on his hand tapped against his arm like he was playing the piano, one of the few tics he had that showed when he was feeling, well just feeling anything in general.

"Oh please, you're not fucking anyone else."

"You don't know that and we're not fucking, we fucked once. Singular, past tense."

He laughed and looked down at you, the same predatory look he'd had the night he'd helped you make this child.

"And once was all it took huh? Fucked you so good, you're going to have my baby," he says, voice mocking and he stands up to his full height which puts him over you. He takes the glass of water you're really regretting now, and places it on the counter opposite the two of you.

"It-it's not your baby," but you don't sound sure and he knows it and he presses up against you until your back is to the counter. Nowhere for you to run.

"It's mine, just like you're mine. I don't know who you think you're kidding with this denial of me but it's done now, sweetheart."

You go to answer him and Sukuna covers your mouth with his hand like the rude fuck he is and then leans down, his mouth next to your ear. You look around, worried someone might see you but the gap between the fridge and the counter conceals you both and the room next to you keeps getting louder and louder. The sun had set and there were maybe some lamps in the living room, but here in the kitchen it was dark.

"I let you have your space and your time, two months of it actually. I let you have your little moral crisis about fucking a criminal and it being the best dick you've ever had wah wah, but I was impatient before I knew you were having my baby, and now," he leans back so his eyes, and they're on fire his eyes, are level with yours. "I'm done waiting."

You tug on Sukuna's hand and he rolls his eyes before removing it from your mouth and places it on your hip which doesn't seem like a good trade-off but at least you can speak again.

"What does that even mean?" You ask him, your voice showing the incredulity you're feeling but if Sukuna had anything, it was audacity.

"I mean I'll give you a week to tell your friends you're having our baby and that we're getting married." He says it so seriously that you can't help but laugh which seems to be the wrong response when his other hand moves to your hip as well and squeezes, tight.

"We are not getting married, are you out of your mind?"

"Why not, we're already having a baby, are you going to deny me the ability to live with my own child."

"Still not your kid, and we can't get married Sukuna. We never even dated! We fucked one time, that doesn't mean we should just be together forever."

"We fucked for one night, it was more than one time-"

"Not the argument you think it is," you interrupt him but you still let him pick you up and place you on the counter. You sit there while he runs his hands up and down your thighs, the sounds of the party washing over the two of you as you stay in your little bubble.

"We'd be good together," he finally says. "Not just because I knocked you up on the first try." You hit him but he just smirks and moves his hands more purposefully on your legs. You let him pull them apart and step between them even though warning bells are going off in your head, telling you these are moves you'd seen before and they had led to you being in the predicament the two of you were debating in the first place.

"It's inevitable, the two of us. You can say you hate me, or that I'm not a good man, and that's true. But there's a reason why you've never stayed with any of those nice boys," he says and his hands slips up the skirt you're wearing to get at your bare thighs underneath. "Because you don't want a nice guy, you don't want a good man, you want me and I'm too selfish to let you keep torturing both of us by doing this pretending shit."

The fingers on his right hand press against your cunt through your panties while his other hand squeezes your thigh and he moans sinfully into the quiet air.

"God, I knew I didn't make up this warm, wet cunt. Been fucking my fist until I chafed the past two months just thinking about it."

You whimper as he moves your underwear aside and slips one finger up and down your slit, not touching your clit or going where you want him, but doing enough that you move against his hand.

"This does not mean that we should get married," you protest and he teases a finger against your opening, pulling it back when your hips tilt up in an attempt to get him where you want.

"Why not? I heard pregnant women get super horny, what are you going to do without me around to make sure this filthy pussy gets stuffed just the way she needs." He finally slips one finger in, his thumb moving to tease against your clit, just the way you like it and your head smacks back against the cabinet. He moves the hand that had been on your thigh up so he can cradle your head.

"I'm sure I could find someone willing to help me out," you say scoffing and his hand freezes which makes you whine a little and try to get him to move again but his legs limit your range of motion.

"You ever try to fuck someone else ever again and the coroner is going to have to get dental records to figure out who the dumb fuck with no fingers, no eyes and no cock is, you got it?"

He's not joking, you know he's not joking but it doesn't stop you from leaning forward until you finally get your lips on his. He hums into your kiss, cupping your cheek in his free hand while the other one goes back to opening you up. You're so wet that the kitchen fills with the sounds of his him finger fucking your cunt but you can't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. He's not wrong that pregnancy has made you more sensitive, or maybe it's just you not having gotten laid since the two of you had slept together.

He's got three fingers in you when you come and he swallows your moans greedily with mouth while his fingers slow inside of you, curving just right to make you think you could probably come again soon, oversensitive or not.

Before you can test that out, he pulls away from you. He licks the fingers he pulled out of you clean and you you're reminded of how the last time he'd made you come twice just with his mouth.

"Where are you going?" you ask him, a little more breathless than you like.

"We are going home," he tells you, grabbing your hands and helping you down off the counter. Giving you a kiss on your forehead that you would tease him for if you were anyone else.

"Home?" you ask, confused because you are currently standing in your apartment unless his orgasms suddenly give one the power to teleport.

"Yeah, our home, not the shitty apartment you share with my brother. I mean we'll have to get somewhere bigger soon, for our baby."

For the first time since you found out you were pregnant, someone who was not you laid out their palm on your still just the same stomach. There was no change from how it always looked but Sukuna looked smug just the same and you felt like you were still missing a few things.

"What-"

"I mean I can fuck you here, I just thought your sensibilities and the fact your friends were all out there would make you uncomfortable."

Your post orgasm flush finally leaves you and you look up at him in panic. "Oh my god, do you think someone saw-"

"It's okay, Fushiguro kept them out I'm sure."

You don't want to know but ask anyway. "Why?"

"Because he walked in earlier and looked like he'd seen a ghost. Tell me, is the kid still a virgin? He's pretty but I can't imagine he has a lot of good options in your crowd."

When you leave to go to Sukuna's, the only people who don't look confused(or horrified in Yuuji's case) at your departure are Maki and Megumi.

If the confusion hadn't been cleared up by the time the baby came, the pink hair probably answered any follow up questions.

dealing with some writer's block and had this idea. didn't feel like writing a whole smut scene, my b but saving that energy for the next(?) neighborsukuna x singlemom one.

side note: Megumi is scarred for life, for sure. Yuuji gets over his horror once he's an uncle.

#jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #jujutsu sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut

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slmjaeyuns · 1 year ago

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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ jake sim fics that make my heart go pitter patter⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

beautiful pieces of art written for my most beautiful boy

~~ a new, updated fic rec list for the boy who owns my heart because i be reading okay, y’all *cries*

part one / first jake fic rec list here!!

warning: there are suggestive themes/smut that may be embedded throughout the fluff and angst fics as well)! please dni if that makes you uncomfortable!! (jake x afab reader/gn reader) minors dni, please‼️

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

all time favourites ♡

fics contain a combination of genres including fluff, angst, suggestiveness, smut)

♡ rule number 1: don’t fall in love

♡ kiwi and layla

♡ hold me like you always do

♡ 14 steps to a better you

♡ pocky

♡ always

♡ monkey bars (part one)

♡ roman holiday

♡ to all my firsts with you

special ending

♡ you are in love

♡ the set up

♡ midnight rain (back to you)

fluff ❀

❀ cupid

❀ classmate au

❀ chapsticks

❀ 6:17am

❀ our kimchi

❀ sim jaeyun - the one with things that happen in your friendship

❀ i find my paradise

❀ strawberries and cigarettes

❀ that’s how you get the girl

❀ good girl

❀ go ahead*

❀ 21:14*

*ps: my potterhead self (who happens to be a slytherin) was squealing and kicking my feet reading these two likeeeee eeeeeeepp

❀ wait, date?

❀ try again

❀ sunday mornings

❀ 8:30pm

❀ speak now

❀ home = you

❀ in another universe

❀ care and love

❀ is that seat (=are you) taken?

angst ☽

☽ cupid’s mistake

☽ was this shirt always so big?

☽ can you please come over

☽ i’m low on gas and you need a jacket

☽ wish you back

suggestive/smut ☁︎

☁︎ body on me

☁︎ grateful sinners

☁︎ cruel summer

☁︎ two best friends in a room

☁︎ dying to drive but you can’t find the keys

☁︎ coffee and mathematical physics

☁︎ tease

☁︎ how jake kisses you

☁︎ bestfriendsbrother!jake drabble

☁︎ the taste of you

☁︎ he’s yours, but am i?

☁︎ silly competitions

☁︎ prove it

☁︎ focus

☁︎ fwb!jake

☁︎ can i kiss you?

☁︎ take me away

☁︎ forgotten consequences

☁︎ brand new moves

☁︎ help you out

☁︎ addict

☁︎ talk me down

☁︎ for old times sake

☁︎ get off that stupid game

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youraverageaemondsimp · 1 year ago

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Meddle About // BestfriendsBrother!Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader // MODERN AU

MDNI

Summary: going to your best friend's brother's party shouldn't be much of a big deal right? Till you catch her older brother's eye, THE aegon targaryen, known for his notorious reputation.

WARNINGS: afab!reader, p in v sex, unprotected sex, doggy style, fingering, tiddy sucking, aegon being aegon, spitting, spitting in mouth, aegon is nasty asf, cum eating, manhandling(?), hair pulling, voyeurism (reader walks in on aegon getting blowed), cunty aegon. + not proofread

WC: 2.2k

❝We only met each other just the other day, but you already got me feeling some type of way, now, if I could figure it out, I'd take you back to my house so we can meddle about. ❞

“You coming to the party tonight?” Helaena asks you through the phone and you sigh, “Can't, I need to prepare for the test in a week.” you tell her and you can hear her let out the most disappointed sigh ever.

“Girl fuck those tests, you need to have some fun, you are coming to the party, this isn't a request and if you don't- I will tell literally show up to your house and drag you here.” she says sternly and you chuckle at her words.

“Aegon throws a party every two weeks Hel, I can just attend the next one.” you try to reason but she shushes you, “No, you are coming, that's it.” she hangs up before you could respond and you stare at the phone in disbelief.

You ponder about it, wondering if you should really go, I mean you have the rest of the week to prepare for the test right? Skipping one day doesn't hurt.

So you decide to go.

And here you are in your car, trying to find a place to park as most of the empty spaces were occupied, luckily the targaryens owned this huge amount of slot, so parking here shouldn't be illegal as it was their own property.

After you find the parking spot, you make your way to the entrance gate to the mansion, looking at it in awe as you can hear the DJ play and lights flash.

Seems like Aegon went full out for this.

It wasn't uncommon for him to throw parties, he was the typical popular kid in college who throws a party almost every week, the one with a high body count, the one who's extremely good looking.

You on the other hand, were known to be the topper and pride of the academy, you were popular too, but not as much as him, and the main reason you were popular was because of your good grades and high percentage, being one of the top 5 academically well endowed students in the entire university.

You and Aegon were polar opposites, you didn't even know him that well, just someone that is the brother of your best friend.

The guard at the front asks for your name and you tell him it, and he lets you in, taking note that you were Helaena's best friend.

You stand in front of the huge door, hearing the music boom loudly from the otherside, before ringing the doorbell, only to find it open so you push it open and make your way inside.

You bring out your phone to call helaena and she immediately picks up, “Bitch, I'm here.” you tell her and she lets out a loud squeal, “Where are you? At the entrance? Wait, I'm coming.” she says and you wait a few minutes before you spot her making her way over to you through the crowd, and then dragging you to the pool outside, where it is less crowded.

That's when you spot Aegon, with his legs in the water, top naked and only wearing shorts, there was this girl clinging onto his arm in a bikini, you noticed that it was Cerelle Lannister.

One of the popular girls in the campus as well, but for the same reasons like Aegon.

“You did not tell me this was a pool party.” You say to helaena, looking down at your attire, which was a simple black thigh-length dress that hugged your body like a second skin and she shakes her head, “It's a merged party, so don't worry too much about attire.” she tells you and you nod.

You soon find the time flying by fast, you were having fun, finding classmates that you enjoyed talking to and engaging in fun games at the party with them, and suddenly you needed to pee.

“Hel! I'm going to the bathroom.” you yell loudly over the music and she gives you a thumbs up, acknowledging your words and you chuckle, making your way inside and up the stairs.

The hallway upwards seems empty, the music getting muffled as you go further down it, you open the door to Helaena's room to use the bathroom in her room since she wouldn't let anyone inside, until you spot Aegon at the edge of the bed, getting sucked off by none other than Cerelle.

She doesn't seem to have heard you enter the room, but Aegon surely did because his eyes filt over to you, you freeze up.

He looks directly at you, scanning your body from head to toe, mouth falling open as he breathes heavily, he grabs Cerelle's hair, pushing her further to in to take his cock in her mouth, while he maintains eye contact with you, you stand there not knowing what to do, he smirks at you, before he throws his head back and groans, coming undone in her mouth.

You quickly step outside the room and shut the door quietly behind you, and that's when you realise you entered the wrong room, you curse yourself internally and go into Helaena's room to do your business.

You clean up and come out of the room, only to find Aegon standing in the hallway, leaning against his door as if he was waiting for someone.

“Y/N isn't it?” he asks, and you nod.

He walks towards you, closing the distance between you both, causing you to press your back against the wall.

“The school's pride huh? I've heard a lot about you.” he tells you and you stand there confused.

Why is he trying to make a conversation as if nothing had happened earlier? That you did not just walk in on him getting his dick sucked?

But most importantly, why is he showing interest in you?

“I hope they're good things.” you reply back, sighing.

Maybe you can get acquainted with him, after all it would be nice to know your friend's brother just in case.

“Oh they are, you're often praised for being smart,” his eyes scan your figure, “But fuck, they missed out one core detail of how fucking hot you are.” he leans in, whispering in your ear.

You feel the goosebumps rise and shiver, which doesn't go unnoticed by him, earning a chuckle from him.

“Uh, thanks I guess, I need to go-” you push him off, and try to leave but he grabs your hand and pulls you to him, his gazes at your lips, licking his own and leaning in, you put your hand up to his lips pushing him away and freeing yourself from his grip, before rushing downstairs, away from him.

You thought that interaction would be the last of him.

But it wasn't.

It was almost as if the gods had heard you praying to make him leave you alone but they were like 'no'

So here you were, standing shocked with your apartment door open as you took in sight of Aegon, he was dripping wet from the rain that was pouring heavily outside.

“How did you find me?” you question, genuinely worried if he was stalking you, but he simply showed you the message of Helaena sending him your address when he said he got stuck in the rain, since you were nearby.

And that's when you receive a message from Helaena, ‘hoping that you won't mind letting Aegon in, since it looks like the rain won't stop anytime soon, and there is too much traffic.’

You sigh and reply to her, ‘of course not.’

You step aside and Aegon smiles widely, welcoming himself in, removing his wet boots and socks before stepping on the carpet.

You go inside your room and grab a towel, before throwing it at him, “Don't bother me, I'm studying.” you warn him and he raises his hands up in surrender, “I won't.” he says.

Well that was a fucking lie.

Because here you were, making out with him on your bed.

He rubs himself against you, creating friction to ease his ache as he kisses you hungrily and frantically, your hands tugging on his hair as you pull him closer, rubbing your cunt against him whilst straddling him.

He pulls from the kiss, hands groping your tits, and you gasp when he pinches your nipples, before pulling up your shirt, and pushing your bra down to reveal your breasts, he gives kitten licks to your pebbled up nipples before placing wet kisses.

“Fuck, I have been thinking of this lately.” he mutters, taking in your nipples wholly inside his mouth, suckling on it slowly. “Been wanting to fuck you since helaena bought you home.” he mutters, the other hand massaging your other breast, he pulls away before taking off your top completely and unhooking your bra, his hands then move to the band of your shorts, you get off him to pull them down, along with your panties, he takes this time to remove his own clothing, leaving you both bare.

“We barely knew each other before that party but fuck-” he pins you down on the bed, one hand holding both your hands up while his other holds your thigh, grabbing it and spreading you wide.

“Do you know how many times in this past weeks I had thought about just taking you to my house and fucking you senselessly?” his fingers dip down to your entrance, catching your wetness and bringing up it to coat your clit in it. “So. Many. Fucking. Times.” he pinches your clit harshly causing you to gasp.

“Aegon-” you whine, breah growing heavy, “What?” he asks before pinching it one more time, making you squirm.

His fingers travel downwards before he inserts one finger into your awaiting hole, slowly stretching you open, his grip on your wrists never falter once as his other hand works wonders, plunging in and out of you, creating lewd sounds.

He inserts another finger, curling them upward, grazing that spot causing you to clench around him in arousal, he repeats his motions and soon you cry out his name as your orgasm hits you. “Fuck- the way your cunt is fluterring around my fingers- i need it to do that on my cock.” he pulls his finger out, before inserting them in your mouth.

“Clean it up.” he commands and you obey, tongue swirling around his digits and sucking as you clean your wetness off of his fingers, he pulls out his fingers and kisses you instead, groaning when he feels the tangy taste of you on his tongue.

He pulls away from the kiss, “Keep your mouth open.” He tells you and you obey, and he purses his lips before spitting in your mouth, you flinch when you feel it land. “Swallow.” you shut your eyes tightly and do as he said.

“Good girl.” He praises you, and the praise goes straight to your core, causing you to push your thighs together.

He lets go of your hands, before getting up slightly and changing positions.

He flips you on to your stomach, before pulling your ass up, causing you to balance on your all fours as he kneels behind you.

“Fuck, I do not have a condom.” he mutters and you turns slightly to look at him, “It's fine, I'll take a pill in the morning.” you assure him and he nods.

He grabs you by your waist before shoving himself deep inside you in one swift thrust, causing you to moan and fall on your elbows at the sudden intrusion, he grabs your waist tightly before starting to move, thrusting in and out.

Your body jolts front and backwards at the intensity of his thrusts, one of his hands leave your waist to grab your tits, giving them a squeeze before the same hand collects your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail and he tugs on it, causing you to shift back on your hands again.

He uses your hair and waist as leverage to fuck brutally into you, his pace never faltering once, he grunts and groans when you clench around him, “Look at you, taking my cock so well.” he praises you, the hand gripping your waist goes downwards to your front, finding your clit.

He rubs fast circles unto it while thrusting, making you gasp as you feel your high approaching, “Fuck- Aeg- I'm gonna cum.” you blabber, and as soon as he hears that, he rubs your clit even faster, causing you to reach your peak once again.

You moan loudly into the room as the pleasure courses through you, your cunt clenching around him in pleasure which makes him throw his head back, “ ‘m gonna cum inside you” he murmurs as his thrusts turn sloppy before he comes to a sudden halt, spurting his hot cum inside you, only to move slowly again, riding his orgasm out.

He pulls out and watches as his spend leaks out of you, before collecting it on his finger, and tasting it, along with your juices.

He flips you onto over your back, and you breath heavily, trying to come down from the high, until you feel him once again at your entrance.

You look at him in confusion.

“Oh you didn't think we were done yet, were you?” he smirks.

Oh gods.

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen x reader smut #aegon x reader smut #aegon ii targaryen smut #aegon smut #aegon x you #x reader smut #reader insert #aegon x fem!reader #aegon targaryen smut #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii smut #aegon ii fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd smut #x reader #aegon x y/n #smut

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joyffree · 3 months ago

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I never thought it could happen to me.

Guarded from Corruption (Blade and Arrow Security Bravo Team Book 1) Romantic Suspense by Gia Cobie Release Blitz

My life was ordinary. Predictable. And as my best friend always reminded me, much too solitary.

Still, I couldn’t complain. I had a job I enjoyed. A place of my own. Hobbies. Most days, I thought I was happy.

Until the night I was taken. Drugged. Held captive and subjected to tests and exams in a strange and terrifying facility. From what I heard, it was only going to get worse, and escape seemed an impossibility.

But they didn’t know just how determined I was. They never considered I could outsmart them.

Against all odds, I escaped. The only problem? I’m still in danger, and I don’t know who I can trust to help me.

Except for one person.

Niall. My best friend’s brother. A man I like more than I should. And the man who has every reason to hate me.

I moved to Texas for a new beginning.

A new job. A new team. After three years out of the Army, I finally had a purpose again.

Then I got the call that brought my past right back to the present.

She was the last person I expected to hear from. Not after the harsh words we exchanged; words I still regret years later.

But when she asked for my help, there was never a question of going to her. And after hearing her story, I didn’t hesitate to offer my protection.

How could I not? She’s not just my little sister’s best friend—Jade’s held a piece of my heart since I met her.

Maybe I’m not the right man to be with her. But I’m the right man to protect her. And I’ll do anything to keep her safe.

Guarded from Corruption is the first book in the Blade and Arrow Security Bravo Team series. It has a protective alpha hero, a strong and smart heroine, a team of former Green Berets, lots of twists and turns, action and danger, forced proximity, and plenty of sweet and steamy moments. No cliffhangers and a happily-ever-after guaranteed!

#BAPpr #GiaCobie #romanticsuspense #protectivehero #bestfriendsbrother #contemporaryromance #instareads #bookstagramcommunity #availablenow #bookobsessed

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allthingsdarkanddirty · 3 months ago

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#BAPpr #GiaCobie #romanticsuspense #protectivehero #bestfriendsbrother #contemporaryromance #instareads #bookstagramcommunity #availablenow #bookobsessed

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luvyeni · 10 months ago

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❛THE WEEKEND❜ ( j. sungchan )

p. bestfriendsbrother!sungchan x fem!reader w. 3.6k+

— 𖦹 warnings. sungchan is lowkey obsessed with reader even tho he just met her, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, size kink, breeding kink

— 𖦹 (you didn't intend on meeting your best friends brother, let alone fucking him, but hey it's the weekend ) !

“Hey how about we have a sleepover this weekend?”

You turned to your new friend who sat next to you; it had only been a few months since you started at your new school — not many people were welcoming to you because it was in the middle of the school year; everyone had made their respective friend groups and your shy nature made it hard for you to even make friends.

Then came jung soojin; your saving grace— she was a relatively popular girl who approached you first offering a seat to you; then sitting next to you at lunch, and then as the days went by your friendship blossomed. she’d been over your house multiple times, but you’d never been to her house. “th-this weekend?”

She shrugged, the teachers voice playing in the background. “yeah, it’ll be fun, we can watch a bunch of movies and eat a ton of snacks.” She smiled, you thought about it for a second. “okay sure.” She nodded. “great, we can head over to your house after school and get your clothes, and then head over to mines.” She explained. “okay.” You both turned back to the board, excited for the weekend to come.

After the bell rang; she dragged you to her car, driving over to your house — your parents were always happy to see her, chatting her up while you grabbed the things you need for the next three days, running back down the stairs before they could embarrass you. “that’s enough mom.” You grabbed soojins hand. “we have to go.”

“okay, well you girls have fun, i’ll see you sunday.” You waved, dragging her back out. “I love your mother.” Soojin started the car, you rolled your eyes. “yeah because she’s not spreading your business too people.” She laughed, driving off in the direction of her house.

“Shit.” She cursed pulling into the driveway. “he wasn’t supposed to be here.” She whispered. “who?” you questioned. “my brother, he's home from college, he wasn’t supposed to be here until next weekend.” She frowned. “im sorry.” You’ve heard of her brother once or twice; but this was the first time you’d be meeting him. “it’s okay.” You smiled. “we can still have fun right?” she nodded. “of course, he probably won’t even bother us.”

You both got out of the car, making your way up to her door, opening it and walking in, taking your shoes off at the front. “lets go to the kitchen first and the head up to my room.” You nodded, following behind her, looking at all the pictures they had hanging up. “you have a nice house.”

“thank you.” She held a bunch of snacks in her hand, handing them you so she could grab some more. “you think we’ll be enough to last until dinner?” you chuckled. “im almost certain it will.” She sheepishly smile. “Jesus, other people live here you know.” A deep voice shocked you, making you jump a little. “you’re taking all the good snacks.”

“you’re not even supposed to be here today.” You friend said. “I came home early to surprise our parents.” You turned to face the attractive voice — being met with an equally attractive face. “they aren’t here, they went to a wedding for the weekend, yn is gonna spend the night.”

He shifted focus to you, he was probably the most gorgeous man you’ve even seen, perfectly good symmetrical face, his hair fitting for his face— and he was tall, making you feel small; he made you feel nervous and you didn’t even know his name. “this sungchan.” Your friend said. “my annoying older brother.” You smiled. “h-hi.”

Sungchan took a look at you, eyes scanning you up and down — you hands full of snacks, looking up at him with doe eyes; you nervously rocked on your feet; you were cute. “hello yn.” You liked the way he said your name, it gave you butterflies. “we’re going to my room, so we won’t bother you.” Soojin said. “so don’t bother us.” She warned.

“Why would I do that?” he scoffed. “shotaro is coming over later to play basketball, we’re gonna order pizza if you want to eat.” You watched your friend’s eyes light up. “He is?” You just knew you had to ask her about it. “I’ve told you he doesn’t like you.” She scoffed. “how do you know?” she said. “he has a girlfriend.” He pushed past her, you watched them bickering as he filled up a cup filled with water. “okay , im done, you’re boring.” He said. “great didn’t want to talk to you anymore either.”

“Good.” He approached you, his body towering over yours. “leave her alone.” Soojin said. “can I have those?” he pointed to the bag of chips in your hand. “h-huh?” you were too lost in his eyes, he smirked; you were so cute. “these are the last bag and they’re my favorite, can I have them?” you held the chips out, handing it to him. “h-here.” He smiled taking the chips. “now go.” Soojin said. “nice meeting you yn.” He walked back up the stairs. “my gosh he’s so annoying.” She rolled her eyes.

“He’s okay.” You said. “please, you don’t know him, get to know him more, and you’ll be tired of him.” She guided you up the steps to her room — looking down the hall, seeing a quick glance of his back as he walked into his room, soojin pulling you into her.

“He’s so cute isn’t he?” soojin looked out her bedroom window; where sungchan and his friend played basketball in the front of their house. “and look at his abs.” you got up, looking out the window— both of them were out there, shirtless; but you only paid attention to sungchan, his toned six back, dripping in sweat as they played. “him and my brother have been friends since forever.” You nodded, not really paying attention, unable to keep your eyes off the older boy.

You were so focused on him, you didn’t even realize he was also staring back at you until you heard soojins voice, pulling you back to reality. “He’s looking up here, oh my god he’s so fucking fine.” You laughed at your friend, silently thanking god that she was too busy lusting over her brothers friend; to notice you lusting over her brother.

You heard the door shut, your friend jumping up. “let go downstairs so I can see him.” She pulled you up, dragging you down the stairs. “be calm he’s not here.” Your breath got caught in your throat, he was glistening with sweat. “he went to go pick up the pizza.” Your friends smile dropped. “ah! so annoying.” He heard your little giggle, turning to you — you were no longer wearing the sweater, giving him a full view of your white blouse that was unbuttoned, a sliver of pink from your bra peeking through the shirt, making him want to unbutton your shirt and get a full view. “when will he be back?”

The boy shrugged. “I don’t know, I also told him to stop by the market and get some beers and chips.” He said. “but i think he’ll be around an hour, might want to go fix that ugly face and outfit if you want his attention, im gonna shower. She slapped his chest as he walked upstairs. “asshole.”

“I have to go shower, yn make yourself a home.” She chirped. “we’re gonna eat out here with them.” She winked , running back up the stairs, leaving you in the kitchen. “she’s never ran that fast as long as I’ve known her.” You laughed to yourself, making your way into the living room.

15 minutes later; you saw sungchan walking back down the steps, shirt cut so you could see his rib cage — and a peek of his abs if you looked hard enough, and a pair of basketball shorts. “she’s still in the shower?” he asked, you nodded. He didn’t say anything, walking into the kitchen you turned to your hand, picking at your nails. “here.”

You looked up, he was now standing in front of you, a soda in his hands. “oh thank you.” He watched you open it, taking a sip, the red liquid falling past your lip, dripping down your chin. He chuckled to himself, sitting down right next to you. “so messy.” He said to himself.

“h-huh?” you asked, eyes wide open at how close he was. “you made a mess.” He said, your face was hot, you wipe your chin, sitting the soda down — he stared down at your thighs, watching you nervously picking at your skirt. “sorry.” He laughed, opening his water bottle. “no need to apologize.” You stared at his neck, watching his adams apple move as he drank the water, letting out a sigh, that sent your body off.

“So you must be new.” He said. “I know all my sister’s friends.” You nodded. “I-I moved here a few months ago.” God you were so cute; back at his university he was popular amongst the girls, going back to his shared apartment with shotaro, but none of them were like you — cute and nervous, so small and ready for him to ravish. “your sister was the only one to talk to me on my first day.” He listened to you talk. “she’s been a good friend to me.”

“I’m glad; if she hadn’t the I would’ve never gotten to meet you.” He said, you eyes jump to him, back to your knees. “so cute.” He said, you felt his hand come to your chin, lifting your head up to face him. “So shy cant even look me in the eye.” He chuckled. “I make you that nervous baby?”

You wanted to speak, but you were still stuck on the nickname that you couldn’t even focus, until you felt his hand caressing your cheek. “it’s okay baby I don’t bite.” He smirked. “I saw you looking at me earlier, you almost started drooling.” He teased. “I was looking at you too.” His thumb ran across your bottom lip, you let out a low whimper. “you sound so pretty just now.” He hummed. “I wonder what other noises I can get out of you.”

He was so close you could smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash flooding your nostrils; his arms trapping you, your eyes quickly flickering to his lips. “you want a kiss pretty girl?” you bit your lip, shyly nodding. “well then come get it.” He whispered. “wh-what?” he chuckled. “you want to kiss me right? So kiss me.” He watched your face get closer and closer to his, until he could feel your lips on his.

It was a quick peck, he almost laughed. “not like that.” He cradled your cheek, pulling you into a deeper kiss; you let him take charge, pulling you closer. His hand moved from your face, to your thigh, his hand inching up your skirt, you whimpered against his lips, he smirked pulling away. “keep making those noises pretty baby and your friend is gonna walk in on me doing something to your pretty body.” You could feel his lips on your neck, you let out a small moan. “su-sungchan.”

Fuck you sound so pretty moaning his name into his ear, his shirt balled up in your shaking hands; his cock begging to be freed — he knew he didn’t have more time, hearing the bathroom door open, the front door rattling open. “shit.” He pulled always, pulling your skirt down. “I got pizza!” shotaro entered the house, looking at the both of you. “am i — shotaro!”

You thanked the man above as your friend ran down the steps; distracting the man. “soojin , hey.” He smiled at the girl, you watched them interact. ‘he definitely likes her’ sungchan was too busy looking at you, your shirt was unbuttoned more, you’re a little ruffled; his hard cock jumping; you looked so ready to be fucked. “lets eat!” shotaro called out. “I’ll go get some plates.” Your friend said. “I’ll come too.” Shotaro following behind. “he definitely likes her.”

Sungchan quickly moved next to you, his hands on your chest, buttoning up your shirt. “you look so obvious baby.” He smiled, patting your hair down. “so cute.” He pulled away, leaving you breathless once again as soojin shotaro returned. “shotaro this is yn, my friend who just moved here.” You waved. “it’s nice to meet you.” Shotaro looked at the scene in front of him; shaking his head. “it’s nice to meet you yn.” You friend jumped. “oh yn, let’s go get some drinks from the kitchen.” You nodded, following behind her.

“She’s cute.” Sungchan turned to his friend. “nothing like your sister other friends, is that what you find attractive?” sungchan scoffed throwing a pillow at him. “please don’t act like I don’t see you flirting with my little sister.” He shrugged. “touché.”

You all sat around eating the pizza and talking; you watched your friend and shotaro flirt back and forth; occasionally turning back to sungchan who was already looking at you like he was ready to pounce on his, his presence making heat boil up in your stomach— your hands were so shaky, spilling some of your soda on your legs. “oh! yn you okay?” you nodded, sungchan reached over, grabbing a napkin. “here.” He patted your skirt, cleaning your legs, his hands lingering a little too long for your poor heart.

“look at you , trying to be a gentleman.” Soojin said. “too bad you’re actually a ogre under that.” You giggle, taking the tissue from his hand. “thank you.” He nodded, moving his hands from your legs. “I actually have to go soon, I have to help my mother out tomorrow.” shotaro said. “and it’s getting late and she’s a early bird.”

“I’ll come back soon.” He stood up. “let me walk you to your car.” Your friend said, he nodded. “nice to meet you yn.” You wave. “could you help put the trash away?” you could see your friend begging with her eyes. “yeah, i’ll help.” He picked up the empty pizza boxes, you grabbed the cans following behind him as your friend left out the door.

You threw the trash away, ready to walk back upstairs to wait for your friend so you could get ready for bed — but you were stopped by sungchan pulling back against him, you could feel his hard on against your ass. “you feel that?” he sighed. “you feel how much I want you pretty baby?” you pushed back against him, he groaned stopping you by grabbing your hips. “not right here fuck.” He was truly loosing the war. “when she goes to bed.” He pulled away, ready to feel your warmth again — what were you doing to him?

You could still feel him on you; smell his scent on your skin, even after you were showered and in your pajama — you could hear him groaning how much he wanted you as you listening to your friend go on and on about the kiss she shared outside with shotaro. “I felt butterflies.” You smiled watching her dopey smile. “he was so soft and sweet, it was perfect.”

“I knew he liked you, the moment you came down the steps.” You said watching her giggle, looking down at her phone. “he just text me good night, look!” you nodded. “has he asked you on a date yet?” she hummed. “next weekend.” She squealed, her face getting serious. “but enough of that, this is our weekend, time for us to have some girl time, I have face masks, nail polish and gems.” She said. “and a few movie and of course snacks.”

Many movies and snacks later; face masks washed off and your freshly painted pink nails, soojin was knocked out cold beside you; phone in her hand, you could still see the messages against her and shotaro. You pulled the blanket over her body, slowly making your way out the room, and down the hall to the bathroom.

You reached for the handle, but it was already open, you stepped back, revealing the boy who you longed for — his chest fully exposed, your eyes traveling down to his abs. “h-hi.”

He looked down at you outfit; his cock hardening once again in his basketball shorts, a big shirt eating your small frame straight up, coming down to your knees — it wasn’t his but he fucking wish it was, wanting to see you in his clothes as he fucked you. “nice pajamas pretty girl.” He smirked. “i’ll let you do what you need to do.” He moved to the side, letting you into the bathroom, closing the door.

You did what you needed to do; brushing your teeth, spitting into the sink, before making your way out of the bathroom. “where you goin?” you felt him coming up behind you. “she sleep?” you nodded, breathing heavily as you felt him feeling up your body. “good, cause im not going any longer without your pretty little body on mines.”

He took you by the hand, guiding you to his room, letting you in, closing the door behind him; turning to you, the lamp from his bedside giving you a good look at his darkening eyes. “been hard ever since earlier.” His hands came up to your face. “you’re so fucking cute baby.” He pulled you into a messy kiss; grabbing at your shirt, pulling away from you. “lift your arms up.” He breathed.

You slowly put your arms up, letting him pull the shirt over your head, throwing it to the floor, the cold air on your nipples, making them pebble up. “so cute.” He back you against the wall. “su-sungchan.” You moaned as he pinched your nipples. “keep making those noises for me.” He placed a kiss on your chest. “I wanna hear them all.”

Kissing down your stomach, he stopped at your pajama shorts, pulling them and your panties down in one go, also dropping down to his knees, your back arching off the wall. “such a tiny pussy baby.” He pushed your legs apart. “need to taste you.” You gasped out as you felt his breath on your heat. “su-su— oh my god.” You moaned out as licked a fat strip on your clit. “so good pretty.” You bawled your fist up, desperate to grab a hold of something.

He grabbed your hands without stopping his assault with his tongue, putting it in his hair, giving you leverage. “sh-shit sungchan.” You tugged at his hair, whining. “gonna cum.” His nosed brushed against your clit, humming against your cunt setting your orgasm off, grinding against his face as you came, legs shaking. “good girl.” He pulled away, kissing your cunt. “came so much for me.”

He stood up; now towering over you, making you feel small. “you want my cock pretty baby?” you nodded. “words baby, I want to hear you say it.” you whined. “ne-need you sungchan.” He that’s all he needed, to lift your body up like it was nothing holding you . “fuck you’re so adorable.” He pushed his shorts down to the ground. “need to feel you on my cock.” He grabbed the base of his length, his read leaky tip kissing your entrance. “gonna stretch this tiny cunt.”

You winced feeling his cock protruding your hole, both of your moan as he mounted you down on his cock. “fuck you’re so tight.” He groaned. “your tiny pussy barely taking my cock.” You moaned out. “so-so full.”

He moved his hips up, fucking you. “I knew I needed to fuck you the moment you walked through those doors.” He moaned. “so tiny, so cute.” He kissed your chest. “needed to see you struggling to my cock.”

He felt so addicted to you already, he knew this wouldn’t be the only time; shit the way you felt around his cock he probably would be able to have sex with another girl without thinking of you. “sh-shit pretty girl im gonna cum.” He groaned. “wanna feel my cum filling you up.” He flicked your nipples. “need to breed this pussy.”

“pl-please.” You whimpered into his ear, tears streaming down your face. “please come inside me.” He kissed your tear stained cheeks, his cock twitching inside you. “cum with me.” He sped up his movements, you came for the second time, feeling his cum entering you cunt. “fu-fuck take it all for me.”

His lips pressed against yours, as he held you in his arms, moving to his bed, laying you on your back — slowly pulling out, watching the cum leak from your puffy cunt. “so pretty, tiny pussy can’t keep all my cum inside.”

He wiped you down, cleaning you up, whispered sweet nothing as he got you dressed. “so, so pretty baby.” he kissed your lips softly— giving that this was your first day meeting him, you felt more loved by him than you did with your ex who you gave your virginity to.

“i don’t think this can be a one time thing.” Sungchan said, laying in bed next to you. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You sat up, he followed sitting up on his elbows. “well you have to go back to university.” You said. “I know.” He frowned. “but we can still talk all the time, and it’s not like I won’t be here for the summer.” You said. “but summer is a while away.”

You nodded. “yeah, but we can still talk.” You smiled. “and we still have the weekend left.” You said. “let’s just have the weekend” He grabbed your hand, kissing it.

He'd figure it out before he went back to college cause he knew he couldn’t just have the weekend.

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #riize smut #riize x reader #riize imagines #riize hard hours #riize hard thoughts #riize x imagine #riize fanfic #sungchan hard thoughts #sungchan hard hours #sungchan x reader #sungchan smut #sungchan fanfic

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