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whiteqnn · 3 years

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PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s been a while.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

PURE [5]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby.

“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”

“Cool. Anyone else?”

“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.”

“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.”

“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."

“Hey man.”

“Do you have anyone coming?”

“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”

“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players.

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!”

“Who?”

“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.”

“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”

***

Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request.

The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.

It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage.

Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.

Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself.

Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse.

The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time.

At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.

But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him.

From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.

Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest.

And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.

But not for Corpse.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.

And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot.

He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts.

There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing.

That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.

Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly.

“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call.

“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”

“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.”

“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.

“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”

“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.”

Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”

She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her.

“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.

“Even then, Y/N.”

Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness.

“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.

“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”

“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!”

“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.

Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her.

“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”

“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening.

“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.”

“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!”

“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.”

Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.

“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”

“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”

“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”

“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”

“Sure I will, Y/N”

“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly.

“See you, partner.”

When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.

It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet...

***

By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened.

Was she nervous? As hell.

She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared.

But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.

Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.

She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him.

So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them.

“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!”

“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”

“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay.

“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly.

“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice.

“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”

“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.”

“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle.

“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”

“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.

“Well what about my guest?”

Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself.

“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.

That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby.

“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there.

“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.

“Oh my god, hi!”

“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!”

“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”

“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”

“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!”

“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her.

“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice.

“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.

“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”

“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”

“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...”

“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...”

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen.

Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...

And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck...

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...

“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened”

“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.

“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!”

“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively.

“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously.

“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”

“Great!”

“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”

“Corpse...”

“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?”

“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.

“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words.

“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included.

For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends.

Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...

It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week.

When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away.

“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?”

“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...”

“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed.

“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”

“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!”

Not only in the game, she thought.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking.

“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...”

Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.

“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.

“Is everything okay, Corpse?”

“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”

Someone like me?

“But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.”

She could as well just pass out there and there...

“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”

Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea.

***

This is not the last part.

TAG LIST:

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#corpse husband #corpse imagines #corpse x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x reader #youtubers x reader #imagine

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amyscascadingtabs · 3 years

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don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you [chapter 1]

“Actually, I want to add one more rule.” “Yeah?” Jake leans back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head and flexing his biceps through the green shirt with a smug grin. “You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.” "Won't be a problem."

Amy Santiago doesn't date cops. Jake Peralta's sworn never to date a lawyer again. When a couple of drinks and the returning of a borrowed shirt ends with the two of them in bed together, Amy decides to take control of the situation the best way she knows how: a comprehensive set of rules. There's just one little thing she hadn't anticipated – Jake Peralta is full of surprises.

Written for the B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange.

AO3 link // playlist

My contribution to this year’s fic exchange, for @fezzle! @b99fandomevents 💛

1. i never saw you coming (and i’ll never be the same)

He gets out of the car, and before Amy can gather the courage to shout after him, he’s disappeared from her sight.

She leans her forehead against the steering wheel, squeezing her fist and punching it in frustration. It doesn’t feel better, just makes her hand hurt. Amy pretends that’s what’s making her eyes tear up, and not the thought that she just screwed up her chances of ever seeing Jake Peralta again.

five months earlier.

The cop is five minutes late entering the courtroom, and Amy vows to dislike him from that point onward.

What's worse is that he doesn't seem ashamed. He simply gives Judge Stewart an apologetic grin, runs a hand through his already messy hair, and sits down on the bench next to the sergeant Amy recognizes as Terry Jeffords. Amy gives him a polite faked smile to tell him she's noted this presence and she's going to win this case, but the cop doesn't seem to notice the toxicity in her facial expression, because she gets another wide grin back. Judging from the colorful marks on his teeth, it looks like he had candy for breakfast – could it be gummy bears? Either way, Amy's respect for the man sinks even lower.

At least she won't have to worry about him, she tells herself. She already knows this case is about to be a win.

That is until it turns out this man has a reply for everything. She’d been certain the evidence against her client was circumstantial at best, nowhere near enough to get him convicted on, and the notes she’d gone through from the initial police questioning had lacked significant information. It had been nothing short of sloppy, and she’d entered the courthouse this morning filled with glowing confidence. That same confidence is now seeping away, dripping onto the polished floors of the courtroom in exchange for heated frustration as it turns out the detective – Jake Peralta, she learns – was present at the scene earlier than Amy had gathered, and from the vantage point he had, saw her client running from the corner store at full speed.

“Would you say it’s possible my client was running for a different reason?” She asks, staring coldly into the detective’s eyes as she speaks. “Such as exercising, perhaps?”

“Well, he was carrying a huge green backpack, identical to the one he was wearing when my partner Charles caught him ten minutes later. So, no,” he says, meeting her look with a smug smile of his own. “I would say that’s unlikely.”

“But not impossible?”

“Considering we also found the stolen goods in that same backpack, I’d say the chance is pretty solid it was him.”

“The bags couldn’t have been switched? Or, as my client claims, the goods couldn’t have been dropped in there by someone who wanted to get rid of them?”

“With all due respect,” says Jake Peralta, and the self-assuredness in his voice is enough for her to know the case is lost. “The streets were more crowded than a Taylor Swift concert, your honor. Someone would have seen something.”

It’s late Friday afternoon by the time Amy returns to the office of Newsom & Associates, but there’s still plenty of her coworkers left to watch as she throws her briefcase on top of the chair before closing the door to her office and digging out her pack of shame cigarettes from the bottom drawer of her desk. The only window in the room opens out to a back alley with trash cans and forgotten bikes, which is a drab view most of the time but comes in handy for secret shame-smoking. She closes her eyes and leans back against the wall, trying to savor the first inhale. She hates the habit and always tells herself she’s going to quit soon, but at times when work stresses her out like this, there’s no better fix. It’s all Jake Peralta’s fault, anyway. He’d waved at her when they’d left the courtroom, looking genuinely pleased to see her, and that had only worsened her frustration. It’s one thing being defeated – it’s worse when the winner acts like it wasn’t even a big deal.

“You should stop that.” The sound of Rosa’s voice appearing in the doorway to Amy’s office causes her to inhale too much smoke, coughing and tearing up as she hurries to extinguish the cigarette butt on the windowsill. “It’s gross.”

“I needed it,” Amy coughs again before drying her eyes with the sleeve of her blazer. “You should’ve been there. That fucking detective ruined my defense.”

“So? It happens. Doesn’t make you a bad lawyer. Stop pitying yourself.”

“You’re just saying that because you win nearly all your cases,” Amy mumbles. “And everyone’s terrified of you.”

Rosa does a little shrug, but Amy thinks she can spot the hint of a smile on her lips. She can’t be certain, though. Rosa almost never smiles, but that’s not nearly the most terrifying thing about her. She also rides her motorcycle to court and wears leather jackets and skin-tight black jeans to trials, and somehow no one's ever dared to police her on it. Amy once asked her out of curiosity if putting on a blazer would really hurt that much, and the stare she got back told her she’d be a fool to make that mistake again.

“Either way, it's not that. It was that cop who ruined everything. I mean, he showed up late, for god’s sake, with candy in his teeth and a wrinkled suit! But he somehow had an answer and explanation for everything,” Amy snorts. “And he smiled the whole time like he’d already won. And he referenced Taylor Swift! During the trial! Who does that?”

Rosa lets out a laugh. “You're a Swift hater? God, please don't tell me you took Kanye’s side too.”

“I didn't – that's beside the point!”

“Which is?”

“That he has zero respect for the sacred rules of a courtroom, and gets away with it all because of that super-charm smile.”

“Yeah, you mentioned the smile. Twice.”

“It was just so…” She clenches her fist until her red nails press into her palm to the point of pain, then releases it. “It's fine. I’ll win my next case, and there are lots of cops in New York. I probably won't ever see him again.”

Amy can barely hide her frustration in court the next week when she hears the doors open and looks up from the papers she was sorting, only to see Jake Peralta for the second time in her life. He’s on time today, which she supposes is progress, but there are stains on his shirt that seem to be coming from the can of orange soda he’s holding in his hand. She wonders if it's his breakfast. If that's his diet, he looks surprisingly fit in a grey suit for it.

He grins again when he sees her, raising his hand in a lazy wave. Amy gives him a forced smile, then returns to her papers. She’ll have to make sure to win this time.

But despite her confidence and very best efforts, she loses to Jake Peralta yet another time.

And another.

It's not that she's suddenly magically unlucky, because she still manages to win several other cases, but every time Jake Peralta shows up to testify, without fault, Amy loses.

It infuriates her.

The worst part is that Jake seems oblivious to her anger. He smiles at her every time they leave the courtroom, even though she returns them with little to no genuineness at all. She once spots him doing a childish victory gesture outside the courthouse, but he never once takes the opportunity to brag about his win to her face.

Aside from his surprisingly good manners when it comes to bragging, though, he's a mess. There's always some kind of stain on his shirt or his cheek that he seems unaware of, his ways of describing things involve one too many pop culture references for Amy’s liking, and she starts preparing to meet him every time a detective is five minutes late. She wonders if no one's ever told him how one is supposed to behave in a courtroom, but he’s usually accompanied by the precinct’s sergeant, so that seems unlikely. The more likely option, Amy figures, is that he just doesn't seem to find it that important; especially considering he seems to get away with it every single time.

She swears it's all because of that stupid infectious smile.

It pleases Amy to no end when she learns that Jake Peralta is going to be the witness in one of the strongest cases she’s had in a long while. The client was clearly acting in self-defense, she has a witness of her own who can testify to that, and although she knows that nothing is for certain until the verdict falls, she’s got a good feeling about this one. Finally, the day has come for Jake Peralta to watch her win.

At first, the state attorney’s case seems solid. Jake is assisted by a short, round-faced man with dark brown hair and an expression that looks like he’s seconds away from apologizing for taking up everyone’s time, but his suit is matched and perfectly straight and he gets right to the point without any odd references, so Amy still earns a fair amount of respect for detective Charles Boyle. He and Jake had entered the subway car after hearing about a fight taking place, and stepped on just in time to watch her client aim a closed-fist punch at the face of the man on top of him. It’s clear and convincing, but Amy knows that after the recess, it will be her time to shine. She loves these moments, when it’s obvious the other side thinks they have it in the bag but she knows something they don’t, and they have no idea what’s coming. She knows trials are about justice and not personal victories – but she’s only human. Winning is always a thrill.

She’s thinking about how she’s going to be celebrating her win later this evening when Jake Peralta bumps into her at the coffee shop neighboring the courthouse. As in, literally bumps into her, with his elbow when he hurries forward to grab a plastic cup with whipped cream and so much caramel syrup on top of the coffee that Amy pities his dentist.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry… wait, it's you!” He shines up as if he’d just seen a past good friend, and Amy’s once more taken aback by how polite he is. A lot of cops she meets during trials either tend to make fun of her profession or glare bitterly at her from a distance, but Jake's doing neither. He even reaches out his free hand to shake hers, so she accepts. “Jake Peralta – wow, you have a very firm handshake.”

“I took a seminar. Amy Santiago.”

“Where?” He asks, but she ignores him and moves forward in line to order her coffee with milk.

“Nothing for your client? Wow. I’d expected you to have better manners than that, Santiago.”

“I offered, but he wanted to spend recess with his partner for moral support. See?” She raises a brow at him. “I do have manners.”

There's that smile again, up close this time, and Amy's relieved when the barista hands her the coffee so she can hide the involuntary blush in her cheeks. She never noticed he had dimples before.

“So, how are you feeling about the rest of the trial, then? Ready to go defend the guilty guy?”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Peralta. Famously one of the most sacred principles in the American justice system. And I was born ready.”

“And lose. The whole question was, are you ready to go defend the guilty guy and lose, and you said you were born that way.” Jake grins in a way that makes him look like an overgrown mischievous school kid. Maybe not that far off, Amy thinks.

“Twist my words all you want, I am winning this case.” She hesitates for a moment, noticing Jake's detective partner looking at the two of them from a table in the corner of the room. Not normally something she'd be that creeped out by, if it hadn't been for the fact that the man isn’t tearing his eyes away from them, and he looks weirdly overjoyed. “Uhm, is detective Boyle okay? He's staring at us pretty intensely.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, he has… an eye condition.” Jake turns around and mouths something that looks to be BOYLE, and the man rolls his eyes before stalking away. “Ignore him. Anyway… so what do you think about the judge?”

Amy's about to launch into a description of her good experience with judge Myers when someone brushes past her with their iced coffee in a hurry, losing control of the plastic cup. The unsecured lid wobbles, and before Amy realizes what’s about to happen, cold coffee splashes onto her earlier pristine white blouse. “Fuck!” She reaches for a bunch of paper napkins and tries to dab the worst away with them, but the milky coffee is already seeping through the fabric and leaving an obvious stain that her blazer can’t hide.

“What a jerk,” Jake mutters, glaring in the direction of where the stranger disappeared.

“Never mind that! I don’t have another shirt! I can’t go into a courtroom looking like this! Unlike you, I actually care about whether my clothes have giant stains on them!”

“First of all, rude, and second of all, they’re not giant.”

“I don’t care. I’m screwed. Fuck, I don’t have time to run back home before the trial starts – I guess I could call Rosa –”

“Hey, hey.” Jake holds up his hands as if trying to calm her down, which only makes Amy more frustrated. “I know this is kind of crazy, but, I have a shirt in my car that I was planning to return to my ex. But emphasis on ex, so…” He shrugs. “You could borrow it?”

Amy considers her options. On the one hand, she figures there’s about an eighty percent chance that whatever Jake has in his car also has some kind of mysterious stain on it, but on the other hand, she took the subway today and there's no way she’ll make it to her apartment and back before the court is back in session. Asking for a longer recess is an option, but making everyone wait simply because she needs a change of clothes makes her too uncomfortable to even consider.

“Fine,” she relents. “Where's your car?”

Jake's car turns out to be an old Mustang, which Amy can tell even from her strictly limited car-knowledge is pretty impressive, but she doesn't understand how he can find anything in there. The backseat is a mess of empty orange soda bottles, a couple of frisbees, candy wrappers, what looks to be cartoons and old CDs, and the cup holders have shaving foam next to another can of orange soda. She's equally surprised and impressed when he pulls out a clean, dark blue charmeuse blouse. Whoever Jake's ex-girlfriend was, she seems to have both taste and money.

“You're totally saving my day today,” she says as he gives it to her. “You really didn't have to.”

“Prove that cops aren't all bad?” Amy rolls her eyes, and Jake laughs. “Just kidding. You have to give it back, though.”

“As soon as I’ve washed it. Wait, we have to be able to get in touch.” She digs in the inside pocket of her briefcase and pulls out two of her business cards. “I’m assuming you don't have any, so write your number on the back of that one.”

“Rude, but correct.” He scribbles down something on one of the cards before giving it back. “I’ll see you up there, then… Amy Santiago.”

Something about the way he says her name, slowly and with perfect pronunciation, makes her want to hear it again. She hurries back into the building and toward the bathrooms, hopefully before he can tell that she's blushing.

“The defense may call the next witness.”

“The defense calls Elinor Simons.” Amy can feel everyone's eyes on her as well as the witness as a young girl, no more than eighteen, walks up to the stand. She's pale, but she looks determined, and Amy gives her a comforting smile as she swears the oath.

Elinor’s voice trembles at her first words, but Amy keeps steady eye contact with her, and soon she’s speaking louder and less hesitant. She had been on her way to her friend’s house when she entered the same subway car as the two young men, and had overheard the two of them fighting over something. Sitting only a few seats away from them in the near-empty car, she’d noticed the defendant looking scared, and out of curiosity, had turned off her music. She’d heard the man who’d later gotten attacked – Mr. Lorentz – scream that the defendant was an asshole, and then she’d seen him push him to the floor, much unlike the way the prosecution had described a course of events in which both men had slipped. It had scared her, so she’d gotten up to walk away, but before she could move she’d seen Mr. Lorentz leaning down.

“It looked like he was about to hit the defendant,” she says without wavering, and Amy can see a few of the jury members nodding in understanding. “And even if they were about the same size, Mr. Lorentz looked really strong. The defendant tried, but it seemed to me like he was unable to get up. I remember thinking this wasn’t going to end well, so I headed for the end of the car before they noticed me.”

“And you’re sure of what you saw?”

“Completely sure. I only found out later that the defendant was a cousin of my sister’s boyfriend, which is how I learned about the trial.”

Amy nods and clasps her hands together, trying to assume a confident stance as she keeps her eyes focused on the witness stand. “Elinor, in the position he was in, do you believe that the defendant would have been scared?”

“I think anyone would have been.”

“So the punch witnesses watched the defendant throw, could it have been in self-defense?”

“Yes. Yes, I think so.”

Amy smiles. “Thank you. No further questions.”

The prosecution’s closing arguments are short and precise, sticking entirely to the part of the events that took part after the police walked in. The district attorney, a balding man in his fifties, as good as overlooks Elinor’s testimony in favor of focusing in on detailed descriptions of the headaches Mr. Lorentz had experienced after the event, and that alone is enough to make Amy’s blood boil; but instead she just sits there, waiting with a polite smile on her lips.

Finally, the other attorney sits down, and the judge nods at Amy to stand up. During her very first trials, this moment used to freak her out – everyone’s eyes on her and waiting expectantly – but with time she’s come to love this. It reminds her of the thrill of getting the last word in a heated fight with her siblings when she was younger, only now, she doesn’t have to shout to be heard. Everyone’s already listening.

“Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: it’s correct that the defendant hit Mr. Lorentz on that train. He admits to doing so himself.” Amy nods to the young man sitting next to her, fidgeting nervously with the cuffs on his shirt. “But there is one key aspect which the prosecution has so conveniently chosen to ignore, and that is the events which led up to Mr. Petersen’s actions. A background which he not only has explained clearly himself, but which is also backed up by Ms. Simmons’ testimony.” She gestures with her hand to Elinor.

“You see, Mr. Petersen wasn’t acting unprovoked. When the incident happened, he had been pushed to the floor, and like both my client and the witness described, he was unable to get up. Mr. Lorentz himself admits to practicing weightlifting; he’s not a weak man, and in the moment, he was clearly upset with the defendant. As Ms. Simmons put it… “ She takes a break to gather the attention of everyone in the room. “Anyone in that position would have been terrified.”

“Under New York Law, Penal Law paragraph thirty-five point fifteen, a person is justified in using physical force against another, when that person is under the reasonable belief that the physical force is necessary to defend the person from what they reasonably believe to be the illegal imminent use of force or the illegal use of force. Mr. Petersen was stuck, and under the reasonable belief that Mr. Lorentz could hurt him unless he managed to free himself. He acted in self-defense, which I remind you that the prosecution has not been able to disprove. In fact, the case against Mr. Petersen cannot be proved against reasonable doubt, which means that you must find him… not guilty.”

From the other side of the room, she swears she can feel Jake’s eyes on her. When she looks up, she sees him mouthing nice job.

“What did you say he looked like, now again? Except for crazy hot and adorable?” Kylie takes another sip of her mojito, spying over the crowded bar.

“Okay, I said neither of those things.”

Kylie shrugs. “Didn’t have to.”

“Ugh. Whatever. Brown hair, brown eyes, medium height, I guess kind of a bigger nose… and I don’t know what he wears outside of court, but there was a leather jacket in the front seat of his car, so maybe that?” She strains her neck to try and see through the Friday night crowd. She’s never been to this particular Brooklyn bar before, but Jake had suggested it when Amy asked about a good place to give him back the shirt, and she’d figured after a long week, she might as well treat herself to a couple of after-work drinks with a friend. After being asked about the so-called mystery hottie five times, though, she’s starting to regret bringing Kylie along.

“Mm, that’s like, all the guys in here… oh, wait, that one’s waving to you!” Kylie points to a figure near the door, elbowing Amy in the side and causing her to nearly choke on her wine. She’s still coughing when Jake walks up to them, trying to offer him a smile while drying her eyes. Jake looks politely confused, but shakes Kylie’s hand in the meantime.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” she says with a meaning wink to Amy before sliding off the leather barstool, leaving it for Jake. “Have a good night!”

“Ignore her.” Amy sighs. “Sorry, I…”

“No, no worries,” Jake says, and the honest care in his expression makes her feel oddly warm. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She waves a dismissive hand and picks up the dry-cleaning bag hanging on the back of her chair. “Well, here’s the shirt. Thank you for the loan. Or thank your ex, I suppose.”

“Dry-cleaned, really? You truly are type A.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing, it makes sense.” He nods to the glass in her hand. “Celebrating Tuesday’s win?”

“Something like that. It was Monday, though,” she can’t stop herself from correcting him. “I don’t get a lot of time off. Gotta make the best out of it.”

“Yeah, me neither. Do you mind if I join you for another drink? Or maybe you should do water, in case you choke again?”

Something about the way he poses it like a challenge makes her take the glass, put it to her lips, and swallow the rest of the wine in one gulp. “I think I can handle it.”

They pay for their own drinks, because whatever this meeting is, it’s definitely not a date, and it makes Amy relieved that Jake doesn’t seem to think so either.

“A toast,” he suggests. “To your win this week. I gotta give it to you, those closing statements were solid.”

“To justice,” Amy says, and they raise their beer bottles in unison. “And my win. Finally.”

“Yeah, what has it been, like, five wins for me?”

“Four, but dream on, Peralta.”

Jake laughs. The dimples in his cheeks become even more prominent when he laughs, Amy notes. “Have you always been this intense about winning cases, then? Or is it something that comes with law school? Like there’s a class in being petty about this stuff?”

You’re intense too, she thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. “Maybe. I have seven brothers, and I was the only girl. I got pretty good at winning fights using other things than physical strength when I was a kid. Actually, sometimes physical strength, too.”

“I feel like you could beat someone up if you wanted to. You could surprise them.”

“Oh, I could most definitely beat someone up if I wanted to. But I stuck to arguing. I got good at it. And I always had good grades, so I ended up at Columbia, and I’ve never really regretted it.” She takes a swig of her beer. “Not even when cops call me the devil.”

“I wouldn’t call you the devil,” Jake says. “I mean, do I think you lack a bit of a moral compass? Probably. But each to their own.”

She leans her head a little bit to the side, eyeing him closely. “Why do you think that?”

“Well, you have to defend people that you know did awful things, right? Doesn’t that make you feel sick sometimes?”

“I don’t have to defend their actions. Most times, it’s not even about that. It’s about making sure the trial is fair, the evidence is sufficient and their rights are respected, so that if there’s a conviction, it’s actually beyond any reasonable doubt. I like to believe most people are better than their worst moments. I see it as my job to make sure they’re treated that way.”

“Huh.” Jake nods slowly. “Guess I never thought of it that way.”

“Plus,” she winks, “someone’s gotta hold you guys accountable, right?”

“Fine.” He shakes his head. “Hey, did you say you went to Columbia? My captain’s husband teaches law there. Did you ever have a Kevin Cozner?”

“No way! Your captain is Raymond Holt?” She’s speaking way too loudly, she can tell from the way other people are glancing at her, but Jake looks entertained. “Sorry, it’s just – Professor Cozner was my favorite constitutional law teacher. I still send him and Raymond Christmas cards every year!”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” Jake grins. “But, how weird is that? Almost like the universe is bringing us together or something.”

Amy thinks that it’s not that weird, since Kevin must teach hundreds of students every year that g on to become lawyers, but she kind of wants to keep seeing that smile on Jake’s face forever, so she nods. “So weird.”

They order another drink, plus some chips and nuts when Jake realizes he forgot to eat dinner, and move to another table in the back of the room. Amy’s surprised how comfortable she feels in his presence. It’s like she can’t wipe the smile off her face but doesn’t want to, and with time and a little more alcohol, jokes that she barely would have noticed on any other day become laugh-out-loud funny. It feels natural, even though she’s not sure how, and she tries not to glance at the clock on the wall when he doesn’t either. She’s got work to do tomorrow and she can’t stay out forever, but she doesn’t want to be reminded that this evening has to end at some point.

“So what made you become a cop, then?” She asks when she realizes she’s the only one who’s shared her origin story tonight. “Childhood superhero dreams?”

Jake shines up like he’s been waiting for the question all night. “Oh, that’s easy. Die Hard.”

“Really?”

“For sure. Actually, my mom said I was always good at protecting people, so I ended up doing it for a job. But I think that’s bullshit. It was definitely Die Hard.”

“I’ve never seen it,” Amy confesses, and Jake stares at her like she just insulted his entire being. “But if you want a cop movie, my top three’s Training Day, Lethal Weapon, and Fargo.”

“Wrong, wrong, and wrong! How can you not have seen Die Hard? It’s classic, man!”

“I just never did! How many lawyer movies have you seen, then?”

“Uhm…” Jake squints. “Charles made me watch Legally Blonde once? It was pretty good, honestly.”

“Well, duh, that movie is a cinematic masterpiece and a feminist work of art. How feminist is Die Hard, from a scale of one to ten?”

“Hey! Holly Gennaro does plenty of cool stuff throughout the movies! You’re just going to have to watch them yourself.”

“I can almost guarantee you I won’t.”

“Fine, but you’re missing out.” He grabs a couple of peanuts from the jar between them, throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. “Cool trick, right?”

Amy raises an eyebrow. “Is this what you do at work all day?”

“I did teach myself that during stakeouts, but no. Whatever. Throw me another one.” She does, and he catches it again, this time almost sliding off the barstool in the process. She laughs a bubbling laugh as he does it another time. “Now you.”

“Fine. Try me.” The peanut flies through the air between them, and she tries to dive for it, but it just ends up landing at her feet. “Okay, another one.” She misses that one too. “Okay, there must be something wrong with these nuts.”

“Title of your sextape.”

“Title of my what?”

“Nevermind.” Jake laughs. “You just need some practice. Maybe at work? It could liven up a trial.”

“Nuh-uh, don’t need practice. Just need a better tactic.” Without thinking, she grabs a handful of them this time, throwing them in the air. This time, she catches a few of them in her mouth, while the rest end up spread over the couch and floor. “The key is volume!”

“Yeah, and the bartender is looking at you like he wants to kill you, so maybe don’t do it again or we’ll get thrown out.”

“It’s fine, I’m a lawyer.”

“That phrase works well to get out of trouble?”

“If you know what you’re doing. We could order more drinks to keep him happy?”

“Shots?”

“I’m down if you’re down.”

Jake orders a Kamikaze shot for each of them, and as she reaches forward to take the second glass, her hand brushes against the top of his for a moment longer than necessary, resting there. It’s warm, and it feels calloused but somehow soft at the same time. They look at each other, his light brown eyes staring into hers, and she feels instantly hyper-aware that they’re around far, far, too many people.

She lets go of his hand, taking the shot and swallowing it before anyone can notice what’s happening. It smells like sour hand sanitizer and burns going down, and she laughs at Jake’s grimace when he drinks his.

“God, every time.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “Hey, I know this is crazy, but… do you maybe want to get out of here? We could have another drink at my place… watch Die Hard… whatever.”

“Mm, yeah. Maybe I should check that the shirt gets back to your place properly?”

“Shirt? What shirt? Oh, right, fuck, the shirt!” Jake spins in place, rushing back to the table where they were just sat. “Shit, I probably spilled beer on it, Sophia’s going to be pissed now...”

“It’s still in the bag, smartass.” Amy shows him. “Ta-da. Shirt’s still clean. Comes in handy being type A sometimes, huh?”

Jake sighs. “I know you're making fun of me, but I could seriously kiss you right now.”

Maybe it’s the four drinks, maybe it’s the thrill that comes with how rarely she does this, or maybe it’s just sheer and wild impulse, but Amy finds herself whispering,

“Maybe we should get out of here, then.”

Amy learns a lot of things that night.

She learns that Jake Peralta is a seriously good kisser, tasting faintly of orange soda beneath the alcohol and salt, and that being pressed against his front door with his hands protecting her head strikes the perfect balance between feeling adventurous and safe. She learns that he’s never really quiet, soft moans and sighs filling the room in the breaks between their kisses, but that the sound only makes her want more.

She learns that he wears even more layers than her. Beneath the leather jacket and hoodie is a checkered blue flannel that has way too many buttons for her liking right now, and she curses her slight tipsiness while working at them one by one. When she's finally done, Jake pulls the grey t-shirt over his head, and she barely has time to pause to admire how he somehow can look fit despite that catastrophic diet, or the curls on his chest that are begging for her to run her fingers through them, before he's asking “my turn?”. She learns that Jake Peralta is impatient, that his hands work fast on the buttons of her cerise shirt, and that he gets adorably confused when he can't find the button on her suit pants.

“It's on the side,” she tells him and shows him the zipper, and then they're both giggling until she kisses him like that and it's back on again.

She learns that his hands feel good, sliding slowly up the sides of her stomach and back and rubbing against her shoulder blades. She unclasps the white t-shirt bra for him, smiling to herself as he swallows quickly.

“God, you’re hot,” he whispers, and the soft bites he trails down her chest and stomach make her feel that way, too.

They move to his bed, leaving a trail of clothes behind them, and then she’s underneath him and breathing hard as his mouth moves lower, closer. The anticipation of it all is driving her mad, but then he looks up at her and asks “okay?” with the most sincere and caring expression, and Amy’s had very, very few one-night-stands in her life, but she’s certainly never had one like this.

“Okay,” she nods, and there’s that familiar grin again, but this time it makes her feel warm in a very specific place.

She learns that Jake Peralta can do a whole lot more with his mouth than talking people’s ears off. His breath ghosts over her through her underwear at first, warming her up even though it’s barely even necessary, and then he’s finally pulling down the black material and helping her kick them off. His tongue is careful at first, just tasting her as if to gauge her expression, but then she nods at him to continue and the next second, her head is thrown back as she lets out a gasp.

She learns that he likes it when she pulls his hair. At first, her hands are just lightly tangling in it for practicality, but then she holds on tighter as a means of control when her legs begin to tense up and the familiar pressure is starting to rise. She’s raising her hips slightly only to lower them again, helping him get her there, and the curls of his hair are just begging to be pulled.

“Do that again,” he pauses to say, so she tugs his hair harder and he straight-up moans.

She learns that he can make her scream, which she wasn’t expecting, and she rocks through the euphoric waves and pants and practically melts into the bed as she comes down from it.

“That good?” He winks, and she wants to roll her eyes, but he did just make her come harder than she remembers doing in a long time, so she kisses the smile off of him instead, tasting her arousal on his lips.

She learns that he's respectful and a gentleman, telling her that they can stop this here if she'd rather, but she doesn’t want to, and they don’t. He has to rifle through the drawer in his bedside table for a while before he finds a condom – maybe he doesn’t do this as often as she’d thought, maybe it’s another sign of his poor organization skills, but he finds one soon enough so she’s not sure she cares – and then it’s a little bit of a blur, but she rolls it on him with precise strokes and lowers herself on top of him and oh my god.

She learns that when he looks at her, when he touches her, it makes her feel powerful and special all at once. He plays with her boobs as she sets the pace, his thumbs rolling against her nipples in a way she didn’t realize she liked, and she picks up her rhythm, clenching around him and leaning back on his raised thighs.

She learns just how enjoyable it is to watch him fall apart underneath her. His pace stutters and he curses, groaning a confession of how close he is, and she could almost come again from watching him alone but she brings two fingers to her clit and touches herself anyway. He finishes before her, spilling out inside the condom with a moan that she can only imitate, collapsing against his chest as she brings herself to orgasm again right after him.

When they're done learning, they collapse together in his bed. For a moment, Amy considers turning around and calling a cab home, because that would be the most responsible thing to do, but then Jake throws an arm around her to pull her closer, and after all, she's still a little tipsy.

What harm could it possibly do, anyway?

Sharp, unforgiving morning light wakes Amy up before her alarm the next morning. She must have forgotten to close the blinds last night, she thinks, and rolls over on the other side so the light doesn't hurt her eyes. She expects the usual greeting of a sea of pillows, and has to stop herself from letting out a yelp of surprise when instead, she's hit with a wall of Jake sleeping with his back to her. A vague memory of them falling asleep like this hits her. He’d wanted to be the little spoon, she remembers.

At first, knowing that intimate fact about him makes her feel proud. Then it makes her panic.

She jumps out of bed, throwing off her part of the comforter in search of her clothes. She finds her underwear and bra together with her shirt, trying to dress as quietly as possible, quick before Jake wakes up and discovers that she's half-naked in his apartment and they have to have a very, very awkward talk –

“Amy? What are you doing?”

Too late.

She freezes on the spot, chewing on her lip as she fumbles for an explanation. Jake’s eyes rake over her with curiosity, which somehow feels a lot more exposing today than it did last night, and it's making her lose track of her words. His bed head curls and disoriented smile is decidedly not helping her focus.

“We slept together last night,” she manages.

Jake’s smile grows wider and prouder as he sits up fully in bed. Amy blushes as she notices the shadow of two hickeys way too close to his neck to be professional.

“Yeah, I was there.”

“Very funny.” She sees her pants thrown across the back of a massage chair and quickly reaches for them. “But this… You know this can’t be a thing, right? Just so we're on the same page about it.”

Jake frowns. “What do you mean with a thing?”

“This – us – we can't date, Jake. I know that. You know that.”

He’s silent for a moment before he fakes a shudder. “Yeah, yeah, no. I’ve dated lawyers before. Never ends well.”

“You have?” The reveal surprises her. “It doesn't matter. This can’t happen.”

“I know.”

“Good,” she exhales. “I’m just going to find my clothes, then, and then I’m going to leave.”

“Hey, wait.” He twists his hands together, bringing them to his chin with a smile. “This is going to sound weird, but… even if nothing can happen between us, I’m still glad we had sex last night.”

The confession takes her by surprise, and Amy wonders again if she just doesn't know anything about one-night-stands. Sleep together, have fun, sneak out in the morning before anything can go deeper – isn't that how it's supposed to go? If so, she's majorly failing, because she can't stop herself from giving him another shy smile in return.

“Me too. Just because, we were like… really good at it.”

“Stupid good!” Jake exclaims. “It makes no sense!”

“We still can't date, though,” she reminds him. “So how do we work this out?”

“Well, it sort of looked like you were planning to just leave, and I’m not going to stop you if that's your choice, but… there is one more option.”

“What are you thinking?”

“We could be friends with benefits,” he shrugs. “None of the commitment, none of the weird incompatibilities between a cop and a lawyer, just us and some stupid good sex.”

“Friends with benefits? Do the kids really say that, still?”

“I’m saying you could consider it.”

Amy's first instinct is to protest, to say absolutely not and leave on the spot. Her relationship history may not contain that many names, but at least they’ve all been fairly straightforward and conventional. She's never done something like this before, and the mere idea of jumping into something so unknown with someone like Jake scares her shitless.

Then again, she's also never been with someone like Jake. Yesterday hadn't been a date, but it had still been better than all the awkward dinners and half-hearted walks she's been at since she broke up with Teddy a year ago. And the sex – well, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't already thinking of doing that again.

“There would need to be rules,” she says.

“Sure, we can come up with some.”

“I’ll write a contract.”

“We need a contract?”

“Yeah,” she decides. “If this is going to work, we need a comprehensive set of rules, and they need to be written down, because I don't trust you not to adjust them in your head last minute.”

“How am I attracted to you? But, fine.”

Amy shakes her head, closing the last button on the shirt that had been left unbuttoned until now. “So… I’ll put together a draft and bring it over tonight? Your place?”

Jake gapes at her for a moment like he can't believe what he hears, but then he nods. “I’m free.”

“Cool. I’ll see you tonight, then.” With that, she pulls on her socks and shoes, leaving before she can freak out again.

“Cool, cool,” she hears just before closing the door. “Friends with benefits. Cool, cool, cool, cool… cool.”

#b99fandomevents #b99 summer 2021 fic exchange #my writing #b99 #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #b99 fanfiction #jake x amy fanfiction #peraltiago fanfiction #MY FIRST AU PLEASE ENJOY #three more parts to come hahah but i'm only going to post one before the deadline #read on ao3 if you want line breaks since tumblr has ruined those

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justthehiddleswrites · 4 years

Text

Bah Hiddleston | Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Tamra Harmon) | Chapter 2 | Winter Wonderland

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Tamra Harmon)

Summary: Tamra Harmon has no mind to mess with Christmas. All that talk about Christmas magic and the joy of the holidays is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. But will a chance encounter with perennial Christmas lover Tom Hiddleston change all that?

This chapter: A chance meeting at Afternoon Tea at the National Gallery sets Tom and Tamra on a Christmas adventure. Plus ice skating and hot chocolate.

Warnings for story: smut, oral sex, implied smut, vaginal sex, light angst

Tom’s jaw remained slack as he pulled back to study Tamra. She didn’t seem like the kind of person to spew such blasphemous language.

“I don’t understand you. Everyone likes Christmas.”

“Tamra Harmon.” she held her hand out, “Certified Christmas Hater.”

“Tom. Normal Person.” He shook her hand. “If you don’t like Christmas, why on earth did you come to London?”

Tamra studied Tom for a moment. His face looked familiar. But she couldn’t place where. She shrugged off the nagging feeling for the moment. “For the museums, Tom, no last name. I’m a curator. This is a low season for me.”

Tom’s eyebrows shot up. “Not the answer I expected.”

An attendant brought tea and food, interrupting Tamra’s response. Tom set to prep the tea. Tamra divided the sandwiches and pastries between the two plates.

“May I pour for you?” Tom held up the pot. Tamra held her cup for him to pour. He put the pot down and held up the sugar. Tamra held up one finger. Tom finished fixing the tea before tucking into the sandwiches and chocolate pastries with a voracious appetite.

“Wow!” She gave a low whistle. “How do you stay so fit with the way you eat?”

Tom chuckled as he swallowed the bite of chocolate chip scone. “I work out.” he deadpanned.

Tamra giggled. “Well, you look like you carbing up for a marathon.”

“With busy hammers closing rivets up, give dreadful note of preparation. In this case, I am preparing for Christmas crowds.”

“Shakespeare.”

“Quite right.” Tom shoved another bite of scone. “Henry V.”

“Act Four, Scene 1.”

“I’m impressed. Few can recount act and scene. Fan of the Bard?”

“Yes. I am a bit of a history buff. I take from your comment you are as well.”

Tom’s cheeks blushed at the comment. “Occupational hazard, I’m afraid.”

Tamra tilted her head to the side. “Occupational hazard?”

“I’m an actor. And what with being British, Shakespeare appears to run through my veins.”

Tamra’s mind flashed to six months ago when PBS reran The Hollow Crown. The hair longer, the beard more pronounced but now Tamra knew who sat before her.

“Holy FUCK, you’re Tom Hiddleston!” She exclaimed louder than she planned.

“In the flesh, I’m afraid. And I would advise to keep your voice down unless you want to cause a scene.” Tom held his finger to his lips and Tamra nodded.

“So why are here at the National Gallery for tea?” Tamra took a bite of a tea sandwich before wrinkling her nose and placing it back on the tray.

“I skipped lunch. I’m hungry.” Tom took a large sip of tea before popping another bite of pastry in his mouth. “Shopping is exhausting work.”

“Don’t you have assistants to do that sort of thing?” Tamra found the chocolate chip scone much more appetizing. “I prefer to do my family Christmas shopping myself.” Tamra wrinkled her nose. Tom punched his fist against the table. “That is the second time you have reacted to Christmas since I sat down. What is your problem with Christmas?”

Tamra narrowed her eyes and Tom did the same, in an unspoken game of chicken, seeing who would blink first. Tamra lost her focus in Tom’s clear blue eyes and she blinked. “I don’t have fond memories of the holidays.” she huffed.

“With such a sparkling personality as yours, I find that hard to believe.” His voice dripping with sarcasm.

“My parents got divorced at Christmas.”

Tom’s smile wiped from his face. He reached across the table and placed his hand onto of hers. “I’m sorry. I have been there myself when I was young. It is never easy.”

Tamra nodded and shoved a big bite of scone into her mouth to end the conversation. Their conversation died out as the din from the dining room filled the air. Tamra snuck glances across the table at Tom, who seemed oblivious to her spying.

Tom stared out the window as he ate. The Christmas tree glittered in the afternoon light. He chewed on the conversation as he chewed on a savory pastry. Tamra’s whole attitude towards Christmas unsettled Tom, not just the attitude but reasoning behind the negativity. A plan brewed and percolated in a corner of his mind. He turned to face Tamra, who threw her gaze askance as he faced her. Tom smiled at the whole scene. He was used to having people gawk and stare but there was something different here. Tom saw the wheels turning in Tamra’s mind.

She is a complete stranger. He mulled, trying to convince himself to not to follow through of his ridiculous plan. Luke will be furious. She might be a psychopath or worse a crazed fan. He listed all the reasons not to do this and each time he rationalized the reason away. After wrestling with himself, he gave a small nod as if to set down the path he chose.

“So…” he placed his cup back on the saucer. “My holiday plans have changed because of unforeseen circumstances and I will be in town longer than I expected. I would love some company.”

Tamra raised one eyebrow. “You want to hang out with me?” Her nose wrinkled. “What’s the catch?”

Tom’s eyes sparkled at how quickly she caught on. “You are clever. While we would keep each other company, I would like to show you all the joy and wonder that Christmas has to offer. How long are you in the country?”

“Twelve days.”

“Perfect. What do you say? What to spend Christmas with a man who eats afternoon tea alone?”

Tamra leaned back and studied Tom, mulling his proposal. She didn’t want to anything Christmas related, but she also didn’t want to spend the next twelve days alone. And she could imagine worse company than a handsome British guy.

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I am here for the museums. So I will partake of holiday activities if we go to one museum a day.”

“Deal.” Tom extended his hand. Tamra shook his hand.

“Deal.” Tom began to busy himself clearing the table. “What on earth are you doing?”

“I only twelve days. I’m not wasting a moment.” he smiled as he stood and straightened his sweater.

Tamra placed the last bite of scone in her mouth before rising as well. “Well, aren’t you a man of action?”

“You have no idea.”

The two of them tugged on their winter coats as they headed out into the chilled air. Tom led the way through the busy London streets and he left Tamra with little choice but to hold his hand as he weaved into and out among the pedestrians. She didn’t know their destination headed and Tom refused to divulge his plans.

After about 30 minutes, they arrived at Hyde Park, Winter Wonderland to be precise. Tamra glared at Tom as he attempted to pull her into the cavalcade of lights and sound.

“We made a deal.” Tom responded.

“Aren’t you afraid of being recognized?”

Tom pulled his ball cap lower on his brow. “I’m invisible.”

Tamra laughed at the notion that a black baseball cap somehow rendered Tom invisible to the crowd. Tamra relented as Tom tugged on her arm again. The light arches lined the main walk area. She observed midway games, food and drink, and carnival rides. Everything Christmas themed. Tamra’s eyes darted from side to side taking in the sights. She wondered how the organizers construct something so extensive just for the holidays. Tom led them to the skating rink.

“Are you serious?” Tamra questioned as they stood in line to purchase tickets and rent skates.

“As a heart attack.” Tom gave a dazzling smile. “You don’t like ice skating? It is a time-honored winter activity, not a Christmas activity.”

“We don’t do a lot of ice skating in Florida.”

“Fair enough.” Tom nodded. “Florida, that would explain the lightweight winter coat.” Tom pulled at Tamra’s sleeve.

She moved out of his reach. “Hey, I did the best I could. They don’t sell a lot of wool at the mall. Now bathing suits, I can handle.”

She blushed realizing what she said and saw Tom blush as well.

“I am sure you dazzle in a bikini as you do in a parka and scarf with your winning personality.” Tom teased.

“Are you flirting, Hiddleston?”

“Not in the slightest. Just making an observation.”

Tamra blushed deeper as Tom wiggled his eyebrows for effect. Tom paid for the tickets and grabbed both sets of skates. In no time, he had his shoes off and skates on.

“You can put your shoes in the locker with mine.”

“Do they smell?”

“I’m not sure, but you are welcome to check.”

“Hard pass.”

Tamra pulled off her boots and placed him next to Tom’s in the locker. Tom locked the door while Tamra pulled on the skates. He helped Tamra stand, and they moved their way to the ice. Tom stepped out first, gliding out on wobbly legs.

“You look like a baby giraffe.” she giggled as she clung to the railing.

“Not the first time I have been called a giraffe.” Tom held his hands out. “Your turn.”

Tamra gripped tight to the railing.

“Trust me, Tamra. I am here.” Tom beckoned her.

With trepidation, Tamra placed one foot onto the ice followed by the other, still gripping the side.

“Trust.” Tom reassured.

She pushed off the side towards Tom’s outstretched arms. She smiled as she glided towards Tom. As she neared him, they both realized she couldn’t stop. Tamra plowed at full speed into Tom and they both dropped like a rock to the ice. They collapsed into a pile of limbs.

“That will leave a bruise.” Tom groaned as he sat up.

Tamra rubbed her backside. “Agreed.”

“Let’s try this again. A little less speed this time.”

Tamra nodded. Tom rose to his feet first, looking as graceful as one could on ice in skates. He pulled Tamra to her feet next, and they set off again, albeit much slower.

“And they say Floridians can’t skate.” Tom commented as they made their final round before their session ended. Tamra held Tom’s tight until the last ten minutes when he let her go. Tamra’s eye shot over to him as he pulled behind her. He shooed her away.

“I did it!” she exclaimed as she came to a stop at the side.

Tom smiled as he glided behind her, bumping against her just to tease her.

“You need more confidence.”

They stepped back onto terra firma and exchanged their skates for their shoes. As they stepped back onto the main walkway, Tamra noticed the chill of air. She rubbed her arms to warm up.

“Need to warm up?”

“Yeah, all those falls wet my clothes.”

“I know just the thing.”

Tom led her to a row of food tents. They ducked a food tent.

“Welcome to Thor’s!” the bartender greeted them.

“I guess I should have looked at the name before we entered.” Tom commented.

Tamra snickered. They perused the drinks menu. Tamra ordered a hot cocoa.

“There is nothing on here for Loki. This is an outrage!” he slammed his fists in mock anger.

“There is a Frosty Giant.” Tamra pointed out.

“One measly drink. This is unacceptable.” Tom leaned to the bartender. “Tell your boss the God of Mischief is not pleased.”

The bartender nodded and Tom gave him a wink before ordering a hot cocoa as well.

The bartender turned to prepare their drinks.

“Do you always harass the waitstaff?”

“Only when I am in good company.” He shoved her shoulder.

“On the house for the God of Mischief and his date.” the bartender commented, handing them two large mugs of cocoa.

“Not his date.” Tamra deadpanned before turning to find a seat.

Tom shrugged his shoulders at the bartender before following Tamra.

The hot cocoa warmed them to the core. They drained the mugs in no time and then stepped out into the wonderland.

“How about we check out the Christmas market?”

“What’s a Christmas market?”

“A collection of people selling Christmas related items.”

Tamra wrinkled her nose. “I will go, but I won’t enjoy myself.”

“That is all I ask.” Tom gave a small bow.

“Stop it! You are drawing attention to us!” Tamra pulled at his arm.

“As you wish.”

They moved from stall to stall with Tom looking at everything and asking questions while Tamra stood nearby wanting it all to be over. She lingered at one of the last stalls, admiring the workmanship of a hand-blown glass ornament. Tamra turned it over in her hands a few times before putting it down in haste when she caught Tom spying. She hustled away to the next stall, leaving Tom behind.

Tom picked out a few ornaments for his mother and sisters.

“Which one did the young lady look at?”

The owner gestured to a beautiful blue and white ball. Tom picked it up. The ornament was the color of the ocean. Perfect for a girl from Florida.

“I will take that one too. And can you wrap it please?”

The owner nodded and rang up the purchases. Tom trotted off to catch up with Tamra, who was tapping her foot at the end of the aisle.

“What’s in there?” Tamra gestured at the bag in Tom’s hand.

“Some presents for my sisters and mother.” Not a lie. He fudged.

“It’s starting to get dark, should we head out?”

“I have one more activity in mind.”

Tamra groaned as Tom dragged her off in the direction of the Observation Wheel.

“A Ferris Wheel? Are we at the county fair?”

“We are at Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. And it’s Observation Wheel. Now stop complaining. You will be free of me for the night in no time.”

Tamra shuffled her feet. She didn’t want to admit but Tom was pleasant company. After waiting in line, the attendant loaded them into their seats. The wheel started to rise and lifted them into the London sky.

“This is how London should be viewed.” Tom gestured to the windows.

At first, Tamra saw the rainbow of lights from the Wonderland. She could see the rides and the skating rink. As they rose, the lights of the city twinkled in the evening. Tamra couldn’t pick out anything other than the London Eye in the distance but it looked beautiful just the same. At first Tom sat back to watch her, but before long he too became enamored with the view.

The lights fell from view as they made their descent and before long they were back in the cold London evening air. They walked in silence to the entrance.

“So I guess I will see you tomorrow. How will this whole thing work?” she asked.

Tom gave a nervous giggle. “I haven’t thought it out.” He rocked back on his heels. “The least I can do is give you a ride to your hotel—”

“Airbnb.”

“—Even better. We can exchange mobile numbers. And I will call you in the morning to pick you up.”

“I can’t impose on you like that. I can take the Tube.”

“Nonsense. Where are you staying?”

“Over by the Bakersfield station.”

Tom clapped his hands.

“On my way home. It’s settled. I’m taking you.” He fished his phone out his pocket and dialed a number.

“Over by Winter Wonderland by Hyde Park. Thank you.” Tom hung the phone. “Driver will be here in about ten minutes.”

“Wow. Driver on command. Fancy.”

“I assure you it is more of a pain than I care to admit.”

Tamra rolled her eyes but said nothing. A black car pulled up, and the driver got out to open the door for Tom. He gave a glare as Tamra approached the car, but Tom waved him it off.

“It’s okay, she’s with me.” Tamra slid into the back seat. The driver closed the door and returned to behind the wheel.

“Where to, Mr Hiddleston?”

“Give him the address.” Tom whispered to Tamra.

She pulled out her phone to give the address of her Airbnb. Traffic was light at night so they got to her place in about fifteen minutes. Tom lept from the car, much to the dismay of the driver, to run around the car and open Tamra’s door.

“Allow me.”

“Thank you.”

Tamra gestured to the door. “This is me.”

“Thank you for the company and being a good sport. Feeling the Christmas spirit?” Tom asked with hopeful eyes.

Tamra’s face dropped. “I am feeling the bruises forming on my ass from ice skating. Is that what the Christmas spirt feels like?”

“Hardly. I will have to try again tomorrow. Before I leave, I need your mobile.” Tamra handed Tom her phone. He typed for a bit before looking up at her with a grin and returning to type. Tom then typed into his own phone. He returned her phone after several minutes.

“Don’t look at it until tomorrow.” he ordered.

“Fine. Goodnight Tom.”

“Goodnight Tamra.” Tom extended his hand; she shook it.

“It’s been weird.” she retorted before opening her door. “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

Tom stood in the cold until the door shut behind Tamra. He rubbed his arms and hurried back into the car.

“Home, please.” He asked of the driver.

Tom sat for a moment in the silence, wondering how he got here and what he would do tomorrow. He wondered about all the things to do in London and that spark a thought.

“Fuck!” he muttered as he fished his phone out. He punched in a familiar number. Despite the late hour, the person on the other end, answer on the first ring.

“Luke… I have something to tell you.”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston smut #bah hiddleston

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makeetelich92 · 4 years

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Vitamin D: What You Need To Know

Hardly a day goes by without some groundbreaking news about Vitamin D. Originally known for it's crucial role in maintaining calcium levels for bone health, it is rapidly becoming apparent that we have vastly underestimated Vitamin D's significant importance for our overall health and wellbeing. In short, judging by what I see in my practice and speaking with colleagues around the country, it's looking very much like we're facing an epidemic of Vitamin D deficiency, with potential grave consequences. Nature's blend multivitamin with minerals FAQ will help to get you up to speed on this important topic.

What diseases are associated with Vitamin D deficiency?

Vitamin D deficiency has been shown to play a role in almost every major disease, including:

Osteoporosis and Osteopenia

17 varieties of Cancer (including breast, prostate and colon)

Heart disease

High blood pressure

Obesity

Metabolic Syndrome and Diabetes

Autoimmune diseases

Multiple sclerosis

Rheumatoid arthritis

Osteoarthritis

Bursitis

Gout

Infertility and PMS

Parkinson's Disease

Depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder

Alzheimer's Disease

Chronic fatigue syndrome

Fibromyalgia

Chronic Pain

Periodontal disease

Psoriasis

What is vitamin D?

Although it's called a vitamin, vitamin D is really a hormone not a vitamin. Vitamins cannot be produced by your body, we get them from dietary sources, whereas hormones like vitamin D are made in your body. It's your body's only source of calcitrol (activated vitamin D), the foremost potent hormone within the body.

What will calciferol do?

Like all steroid hormones, vitamin D is concerned in creating many enzymes and proteins, that are crucial for protective health and preventing disease. it's the flexibility to move and have an effect on quite 2,000 genes in the body. It enhances muscle strength and builds bone. it's medicament effects and bolsters the immune system. It helps the action of hypoglycaemic agent and has anti-cancer activity. this is often why vitamin D deficiency has been joined with numerous of the diseases of contemporary society. owing to its huge array of benefits, maintaining optimal levels of D is essential for your health.

Where do I get vitamin D from?

The only 2 reliable sources of vitamin D are the sun and supplements. Sunlight exposure is the only reliable way for your body to generate vitamin D. Vitamin D is produced by your skin in response to exposure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun. In fact, this is such an efficient system that most of us make approx. 20,000 units of vitamin D after only 20 minutes of summer sun without suntan lotion (or clothes!) That's 100 times more than the government recommends per day! There must be a good reason why we make so much in so little time.

You do not generate vitamin D when sitting behind a glass window, whether in your car or at home because these UV rays cannot penetrate glass to generate vitamin D in your skin Also sunscreens, even weak ones, almost completely block your body's ability to generate vitamin D.

The other reliable source is vitamin D3 supplements (not vitamin D2)

Only about 10% of your vitamin D comes from diet, so it is nearly impossible to get adequate amounts of vitamin D from your food.

What are the food sources of vitamin D?

1. Fish liver oils, such as cod liver oil. Fatty wild fish like mackerel, salmon, halibut, tuna, sardines and herring2. Fortified milk, orange juice and cereal3. Dried Shitake mushrooms4. Egg yolks

But to get adequate amounts of vitamin D from food, you would have to eat at least 5 servings of salmon a day or drink 20 cups of fortified milk

My Doctor told me to avoid the sun, what do you think?

There is an old Italian saying "Where the sun does not go the doctor does."

For about the last 25 years, doctors (dermatologists in particular) have demonized sun exposure and repeatedly told us it is bad for you and causes cancer. But is that true? In the last few years, numerous studies have shown that modest exposure to sunlight may actually be good for you, helping the body produce the vitamin D it needs to keep bones healthy and protect against cancer, including skin cancer. Though repeated sunburns--in children and very fair-skinned people--have been linked to melanoma, there is no credible scientific evidence that moderate sun exposure causes it. Since it's almost impossible to get adequate amounts of vitamin D from food alone (including fortified milk and fatty wild fish), the sun is your best source. I'm not suggesting you go bake in the sun with your suntan oil or go to tanning salons. But getting some sun without getting sunburned makes healthy sense.

We evolved in the sun; we were made to get some sun, not to live our lives indoors and slather on sunscreen every time we go outside. If the sun is shining where you are today, get out and enjoy it, talk about a free natural treatment! All you need is a little common sense when heading outdoors, do it gradually and always avoid sunburn.

Special Note: Remember to take antioxidants when you sit in the sun, as these can help prevent skin cells from sun damage.

How much sunshine do I need?

All living things need sun, the key is balance. Too much sun exposure can cause melanoma and skin aging, while too little creates an inadequate production of vitamin D. The amount needed depends on the season, time of day, where you live, skin pigmentation and other factors. As a general rule, if you are not vitamin D deficient, about 20 minutes a day in the spring, summer and fall on your face and arms or legs without sunscreen is adequate. It doesn't matter which part of the body you expose to the sun. Many people want to protect their face, so just don't put sunscreen on the other exposed parts for those 20 minutes.

If you live north of 37 degrees latitude (approximately a line drawn horizontally connecting Norfolk, Virginia to San Francisco, California) sunlight is not sufficient to create Vitamin D in your skin in the winter months, even if you are sitting in the sun in a bathing suit on a warm January day! The further you live from the equator, the longer exposure you need to the sun in order to generate cholecarciferol}

How a lot of vitamin D do I need?

How much vitamin D you wish varies with age, body weight, % of body fat, latitude, skin coloration, season of the year, use of sun block, individual variation in sun exposure, and - in all probability - however unwell you are.

As a general rule, previous individuals need quite young people, huge people need a lot of that tiny people, fat people need more than skinny people, dark-skinned people need more than honest injured people, northern people need more than southern people, winter people need more than summer people, sun block lovers need more than sun block haters, sun-phobes need quite sun worshipers, and unwell individuals might have more than we tend toll people.

What I and lots of of my colleagues round the country are finding is that even people disbursal what we thought was adequate quantity of your time within the sun, are still appearance with low blood cholecarciferol} levels. i'm unsure why at this stage however there's a simple and low-cost solution...vitamin D supplementation.

How a lot of vitamin D ought to I supplement with?

Most necessary is that you simply take vitamin D3, (cholecalciferol) the active style of vitamin D. don't take vitamin D2 because it is not as biologically active nor as effective, and nor as safe as vitamin D3. And taking the right amount is crucial, most doctors tend to under dose. The current recommendations from the Food and Nutrition Board of the U.S. Institute of Medicine: from 200 to 600 IU/day depending on one's age, are way too low. These values were originally chosen because they were found to prevent osteomalacia (bone softening) and rickets

Here are some guidelines

If your blood level is above 45ng/ml and for maintenance, I recommend 2,000-4,000 IU daily depending on age, weight, season, how much time is spent outdoors, where one lives, skin color and obviously blood levels

In other words if you are older, larger, living in the northern latitudes during the winter, are not getting sun and have dark skin, I recommend the higher maintenance dose.

If your blood level is 30-45 ng/ml, I recommend you correct it with 5,000 IU of vitamin D3 a day for 3 months under a doctor's supervision and then recheck your blood levels.If your blood level is less than 30 ng/ml, I recommend you correct it with 10,000 IU of vitamin D3 a day under a doctor's supervision and then recheck your blood levels after 3 months. It takes a good 6 months usually to optimize your vitamin D levels if you're deficient. Once this occurs, you can lower the dose to the maintenance dose of 2,000 - 4,000 IU a day.

What are the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency?

There is no clear pattern of symptoms. In fact many people remain asymptomatic despite low levels. But here are some of the more common symptoms:

Fatigue

General muscle pain and weakness

Muscle cramps

Joint pain

Chronic pain

Weight gain

High blood pressure

Restless sleep

Poor concentration

Headaches

Bladder problems

Constipation or diarrhea

What about vitamin D toxicity?

It is impossible to generate too much vitamin D in your body from sunlight exposure: your body will self-regulate and solely generate what it needs. though terribly rare, it's attainable to dose and become venomous with supplementation as cholecarciferol} may be a fat soluble vitamin and thus hold on within the body for extended periods of time. Therefore if you're taking 5,000 IU or a lot of daily, you must have your blood levels monitored or so each three months.

What biopsy should I actually have to visualize my vitamin D levels?

The only blood test that may diagnose vitamin D deficiency is a 25-hydroxy-vitamin D (25 Ohio vitamin D). Unfortunately, some doctors are still ordering the incorrect test, 1,25-dihydroxy-vitamin D. In fact a common cause of high 1,25-dihydroxy-vitamin D is a low 25(OH)D or vitamin D deficiency. So when doctors see the 1,25-dihydroxy-vitamin D is normal or high and tell their patients that they are OK, they are often vitamin D deficient.

Your doctor should do this test for you. Unfortunately even some of the labs, in particular Qwest, have had problems with correct results, usually giving erroneously high results.

If you don't want to go through your doctor, the ZRT lab does a blood spot test that you can order without going through a doctor.

What is the ideal blood level of 25 hydroxy vitamin D?

The current ranges for "normal" are 20 to 55 ng/ml. These are much too low!!! They may be fine if you want to prevent rickets or osteomalacia, but not for optimal health. The ideal range for optimal health is 50-80 ng/ml.

How often should I have a 25 hydroxy vitamin D blood test?

At least once a year especially at the beginning of winter. If you are supplementing, I suggest you monitor your vitamin D levels approximately every 3months until you are in the optimal range. If you are taking high doses (10,000 IU a day) your doctor must also check your calcium, phosphorous, and internal secretion levels each three months

My doctor prescribed Drisdol, 50,000 IU per week. what's it?

Drisdol may be a prescription of 50,000 IU tablets of cholecarciferol}2 or ergocalciferol. cholecarciferol isn't vitamin D however it's similar. D2 is not ordinarily found in humans and most studies show it doesn't raise a pair of5(OH)D levels additionally as (cholecalciferol or vit D3) does. If you're vitamin D deficient, the most effective issue to do, is to require vitamin D3.

Can I take cod liver oil to urge my vitamin D?

Although Cod liver oil contains a good quantity of vitamin D, it conjointly contains high amounts of nutriment A. vitamin A antagonizes the action of calciferol and may be venomous at high levels.

Why is there a deadly disease of vitamin D deficiency?

It is calculable that anyplace from thirty to one hundred pc of yankees, relying upon their age and community living environments, are deficient in nutriment D. quite 1/2 all American youngsters are vitamin deficient. purportedly nearly 3/4s of pregnant ladies are vitamin D deficient, predisposing their unborn children to all or any styles of problems. Worldwide, it's estimated that the epidemic of vitamin D deficiency affects one billion people. In my practice over 80% of patients whose vitamin D levels I check are deficient. No one is exactly sure why this is happening apart from the fact that we spend too much time indoors and when we go out into the sun, we lather sunscreen on ourselves. I think it must be more than that. But whatever the reason, the reality is we have a major epidemic on our hands.

What about the use of tanning beds to get my vitamin D?

I tend not to recommend them because we don't really know if they are safe. Because the light sources vary with totally different tanning beds, it makes them unpredictable associated presumably unsafe. In addition, most industrial tanning beds emit an unknown quantity of electrical phenomenon and since one is therefore on the brink of the particular bed, it's going to be an redundant high dose. in theory each these issues may be overcome, however really they typically are not.

#vitamins #exercise #diet #healthy living #health and wellness #health

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daeliariddle · 5 years

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In defense of Sonya Blade

Explanation: First of all, sorry if I read too aggressive. Sonya is my favorite since my childhood so I can read myself not very objective. And also, English is not a language I speak. I speak Spanish so it’s a little complicated for me.

Explanation 2: Some editions are not mine, owned by another great and biggest fan of Sonya Blade. The images I stole, cordially from Edu Queve.

Explanation 3 About Cassie. It’s just my personal impression. Other Sonya fans loves Cassie, loves Johnny, all CageBlade and the Cage Family. Do not be carried away by the impression I personally give you.Thanks.

Yes, finally I saw MKX and I LOVE SONYA BLADE MORE THAN BEFORE. I had already seen MK11, and although Ronda Rousey is lousy acting, at least with Latin dubbing is much more enjoyable. Not because it was Ronda Rousey who gave Sonya her voice means that General Blade is now a lousy character, that they have taken away her moves that made her unique: yes. And it’s the pitiful thing about everything.

What can I say? Sonya has always been my favorite. The only regrettable thing is that she, like Jax, and influenced by her daughters and Special Forces, is increasingly militarized, that’s boring!

The drones, the grenades, the turrets, the pistols. All that police and military arsenal that better give them to Jacqui, Cassie and Stryker. For clothing (and some accessories for Taunts and intros, and why not in kinematics) I like the military, I think many agree that Sonya’s best skin is the MK4/Gold (MKDA, MKSM and MKvsDC too), where he combines his classic and military outfit, and she looks beautiful!

Those costumes are sexy, military and have that light green color representative of Sonya from MK1. And let’s think, she even looked really cool and badass on her Ending with her motorcycle. If he had been better covered. That image would have been the best of the Ending, I vote for a Sonya rocker!

I need to see that Sonya again with her leg grab, her rising bicycle kick, the air throw in the air with her legs, the bone breaker, her front flop kick, Kartwheel. Flying Kick, Leg Slam. All those movements that told us, that’s Sonya Blade, not a generic soldier! Just like in MKX they could with Tanya to finally give her something cool, why not with Sonya?

The best thing for Sonya would be to have her "military" moves like the kiss (which can be pepper spray or something similar), her energy rings and her luminous garrote. They look great, they give her femininity! Although I do love Sonya like Tomboy.

The garrote cord is so fantastic! It’s one of the few "military" accessories that looks great, and it’s bright that makes it beautiful.

If they could at least mix her military style and her flexible movements and acrobats, Sonya would be GREAT! And come on, MK11 looks like we’re playing Round Rousey, not Sonya Blade. From the interactions of her character, the name of her chapter, where she fight! They missed a great opportunity to see Sonya fighting with her legs as they say in other interactions of her, when they take away her energy rings, why!

I don’t even like that Kitana has the Bo de Jade and the sais of Mileena, stop it! Stop extolling Cassie to put other female characters, especially your mother Sonya and Cassie, in a lower place. Cassie will turn into a lousy Mary Sue like Kitana! I feel like I’m reading like a Cassie Hater, but as an amateur writer tamed by the primary emotions of fans, when I read something that is so noticeable in PRO from a character that is disproportionately annoying. Like when on Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince with Ginny Weasley, The same thing! Passing the whole book on how a character was great more because of what one said than what one read, and even worse: that other characters say it; one thing: The obvious is not said.

I loved the development of her personality, many seem to have hated her, especially the fanboy/girls of Johnny and Cassie, people, please! Let’s see.

1. They were at constant war. And at the same time, she is one of the few characters who show the wear and tear and the desire not to fight anymore, although at the same time her famous phrase is: “It’s Kombat Time!” (in MKDOTR).

2. Sonya already lost important people to Kano, trusted Kano and betrayed her, making Sonya feel responsible for those deaths.

3. Her best friend became a revenant, and his daughter seeks her to become a soldier. Forming Cassie and Jacqui now part of the Special Forces. Her daughter and goddaughter there, with her, in a war, not to mention her ex-husband.

4. Sonya was always a character focused on her work hoping to get high to honor her father and to honor her fallen companions! Even though, as a human, she has had moments where justice was brought to her senses. Why say she’s a bitch obsessed with Kano but with Scorpion that’s cool? After all because of Scorpion/Hanzo Hasashi Quan Chi he died when he was not yet fit! Hermann Blade father figure that Sonya admired, the same way Cassie sees Sonya and Johnny. We know of a partner close to her, and of her other brother, also deceased, can we assume that their deaths have also struck in Sonya’s psyche? Kano represents everything Sonya hates, and not just that. The mockery, the mockery that Kano has said about the death of her companions, the threat to people important to her. Kano and Sonya are not just rivals, enemies. One is the opposite of the other. It’s beyond the rivalry between Lin Kuei and Shirai-Ryu. Though I think Sonya and Kano could use new rivals.

5. Sonya knows when to dialogue and when to hand out fists. We know she hasn’t been the best mother, but we never have to question that she risked her life for the love of her daughter and her ex-husband Johnny. Sonya’s not the most patient woman, but who would be if she were in her place?

6. Having Johnny (when he doesn’t use his mood at the most inopportune time) helps soften Sonya’s hardened character by the years, to remember that before soldiers have a family. And that was especially noted in MK11.

7. She’s the one who set up the Kiss of Death. She was the first Lady Mortal Kombat and, without a doubt, an incredible protagonist, and all being A HUMAN, what many people find annoying or boring to me is incredible.

8. She doesn’t need to be a Goddess, Semi Goddess, Edeniana, Outworlder, she doesn’t need soul magic or blood magic, She doesn’t need to descend from a Mediterranean cult that bred warriors for the gods. Although I would like something similar, a pink shadow for her, but not so obvious.

9. The fact that Johnny is a charismatic and beloved character does not mean that Sonya should love him like the fandom does. Each character is different and you have to understand why. And what’s more, for them to believe that because of their interactions with other characters, do they really think that she wants Johnny bad, that she doesn’t? What needs to be read! It is so obvious that you don’t even need to write it down: Sonya really loves Johnny, despite the flaws of both the love you have is genuine and plausible.

10. Sonya always had a difficult, impulsive and strong character especially when it comes to Kano, in MKX. Or they forget that HE THREATENED HER DAUGHTER.

Besides, in case someone forgets it. Sonya is not his first wife. He’s already had a divorce, is Sonya really the one with the problem? Yes, now I need know Cindy Ford.

Sonya DOES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND SHE IS IRONIC. But what, what does Sonya do? She’s an SF agent so, OBVIOUSLY STARTING IS SERIOUS. She has lost many companions to Kano and others, it is normal that she is a cold person, reserved and afraid to open up. Just because he treated Johnny the way he did at MKX doesn’t mean she hated him. You know what she was? It was a method of defense, of course he loves Johnny! But it is her method of taking him away from her and because she is also like that (a Tsundere). Or worse, remember. He had a daughter with Johnny Cage, Shao Kahn made her his wife (comics), Shang Tsung shows interest in her. Her former companion who died at the hands of Kano. Kano’s betrayal. Her relationship with Kabal and MKDOTR. Erron Black flirts with her. Yes, Cassie will be the concubine of Shao Kahn...but Sonya had the ring.

And while many hate her because she’s "boring" (please) or because "oh, she’s mean to Johnny," "obsessed with Kano, getting revenge," that’s just what I like about her. That makes her human, flawed. Not like MarySue. And the characters (as well as the people) are not gold coins for all of us to like. And that’s Sonya’s mentality.

(They forget that yes, Cassie tells him that Johnny’s changed, the Sonya who hasn’t met the new Johnny yet! Besides, let’s not exaggerate that Sonya is mean to Johnny, he was also a jerk and sexist to her. And that’s not easy to forget, he learned it first from Kano. But they could apologize.) Sonya is direct. badass. She’s not interested in being funny or liking me, fuck diplomacy and manners with Sonya Blade! She either invites you to the SF or she’ll put you in jail. She is not like Kitana SJW (the Ending of MK4/Gold of Kung Lao) who will sit down for tea and talk when the situation is exaggeratedly tense.

She is undoubtedly the original commanding officer, always in charge, always showing her leadership. I would have liked to see Sonya in Outworld commanding with Johnny the OIA, while in Earth Realm Cassie takes care of SF with Jacqui and the other KombatKids.

She has made mistakes, she has wronged her loved ones, hse has shown weakness, sadness. She has loved and seen her. She has sacrificed herself. EVERYTHING. It has a great evolution and a range of incredible emotions! And not just in games, in MKDOTR as well (Yeah, we know the show wasn’t very good, but This had his things going for it). Let’s not just stay with the Sonya video-games when there’s a lot of Sonya to enjoy, being or not really canon, exists and as fangirl of it since childhood, I really enjoy it. Every Sonya. Even Jeri Ryan has been a great and enjoyable Sonya Blade. Keeping her character focused on her mission.

And finally, at MK11 she’s opening up more, showing that she always loved Johnny, that her daughter loves her. He is dying because of Liu Kang Revenant! And we have Sonya young, who finally had a Mommy (young) moment with her daughter. And it was a beautiful moment. We could see that Sonya could understand her situation, that she accepts her death. That she is proud of her daughter. That hug, it was the time you needed and you see it in the Comics! Cassie already had it with Johnny on MKX now continued with Sonya). And “Private Pun’kin” is so cute!

It’s obvious that moms and daughters fight, and Sonya with Cassie would be no exception, but that gives MK realism. And like, at the end of all the fights between them, they’ll ALWAYS look like family. The worst thing is the foolish need of the fans, especially Cassie’s commentators to compare her to Sonya, that’s enough!

Cassie is great, she has everything that makes her a great character, and for the exaggeration and my disgust: too much. I feel like the character was lucky and very convenient argumentation (Her character I feel like fanservice). Cassie is the typical girl who wants to make herself known, just like Johnny. But Cassie still has to grow up. And that the argument chance of the writers, oh she has the same power as Johnny, INCREDIBLE! (Let the sarcasm be noted). For me, give everything from the SF to Cassie and Sonya leave me more classic with their legs, thank you.

It’s funny too, and call it what you want (“feminist complaint”) but do you realize that it’s easier to hate a woman with an unpleasant or difficult character (or hateful) than a manipulative killer? I also don’t see anyone complaining that Jax had the same thing happen to Sonya about having pure SF arsenal, and now having a daughter who wants to replace him. If you want to replace Sonya with Cassie well. Let’s replace Jax with Jacqui. Scorpion with Takeda. Sub-Zero with Frost and then.

I think my biggest problem with Cassie was that I felt her debut very quickly. First debut in MKX defeating just Shinnok, although I liked it better than having Kung Jin collided with her. It served as a rival, as an antithesis. I don’t see them as a couple, but it served to give Cassie flaws, insecurities, discomfort. After all, she was still young and training! For my part, I had her defeat Shinnok later, not her debut. Let’s see Jacqui, her evolution felt much better and more natural than Cassie. Though she «sins», and even worse of being for many the "female Jax". And also because I hate unnecessary comparisons of fans to love one another despise him because "she isn’t cool, she is unfriendly, she is better because she is more beautiful, has better X thing", evaluate the character superficially. I’m sorry. I feel like Cassie has to be the way she is so the fans don’t dislike her because, if she comes out as Sonya "Oh, she’s hateful." So make it like Johnny modernized and centennial with her phone, her bubblegum, her funny drone (And Sonya has a drone that has no charisma) and etc.

Because I know and I’m sure Sonya could have better fatalities than she has, her iconic moves, her intros. EVERYTHING. But they stuck so much to their military side that I can understand that playing with it can be boring, and it’s frustrating because for me, Sonya in other games IS GREAT. And what we have is a little. Let Sonya say it...!

{ Yes, I couldn’t get the gif.}

Come on, though, do men just talk about the tits he had on MK9? When all the characters looked like the porn version of the game, and worse, they had a horrible anatomy. I’m glad that’s finally changed. If we blame feminism for stopping sexualizing an SF agent, a respectable princess, a mother who was Queen of Edenia, we’re good (Besides, if those suits were still like that, Kano’s Ending on MK11 wouldn’t have been funny). And certainly, one thing that personally bothers me about fandom is the hypocrisy that some and others have to forgive by crucifying them based on the errors, successes, virtues and defects of the characters, tilting his scale toward his favorites and not being completely objective. Just because you don’t like a character doesn’t mean they invent faults or see every action of it as something "bad."

Hopefully in the next Mortal Kombat, if Sonya is back, they can shine their former splendor. Not because it is SF she YES or YES has to be a soldier. I am happy with that MK4/Gold Sonya or MKvsDCUniverse Sonya.And if she can model for Kerri Hoskins or Bridgette Wilson, I’m even happier. Imagine a Sonya MKDOTR, UMK3 and MKGold fighting. I DIE FROM FANGIRL AND LOVE! There it would be well defined to Sonya, without comparing her with her daughter. Also, that Sonya beat Cetrion, as he did with geras, the entire CageBlade family against the Elder Gods! I finally saw MKDOTR. Yes, I already mentioned a little bit of it, but I wanted to make a special separate point. The series is cheesy, did not have a great edition (in fact it was even bad). And there are several errors and missing characters. But come on, I think in characters, in their evolution and depth, it’s even better than MK11.

And I must say, this Sonya, played by Olivia d'Abo, is along with Bridgette Wilson my favorite.

The first chapters show us a stubborn, complicated, distrustful Sonya of all, especially of a Sub-Zero (Kuai Liang) who joins them. Even, along with Jax, they’re very funny, especially watching them confront Raiden and being ironic with the Thunder God. Sonya proves that nothing is quiet, direct, rude, and sometimes even very impulsive every time she shouted "Kombat Time!".

And she’s been evolving, every chapter. Where she and Jax have been the biggest protagonists with their stories. Of even needing a female friend, and certainly her friendship formed with Kitana was really enjoyable.The relationship with her other companions, the apology to Sub-Zero (Kuai Liang), the tense relationship with Stryker. The great friendship with Jax, and from which sometimes, like every friendship, faltered. Along with others. And those loving moments you see with Kiba.

It would really be nice to see an alliance between Kitana and Sonya Blade, like this one:

But surely, the chapter where one can love and empathize with Sonya is with "Amends". Her alliance with Kabal is one of the things I would have liked to see on MK11 (but unfortunately the writers preferred that Kano lie to Kabal and that he never knew, just to make him fight with Sonya). Kabal is a great character in that chapter, with the feeling of The Phantom of the Opera, and how he ends, deciding to make his own way is great. And Sonya, understanding that even though it offers to be there. Regardless of her appearance, we even know Maggie, Sonya’s childhoodfriend who at age seven had been put in a wheelchair. It’s such a human and sweet side of Sonya’s character that it would have been nice to keep exploring it.

I like the way Sonya gradually becomes more open, relying more on his peers, as in the last chapter. It was a great change and evolution, being subtle. For me, she is a great character, and a great woman. And what better than what she said who played her in the film?

❝ 𝑆𝘩𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔; 𝑤𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝘩𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝘩𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝘩𝑒'𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑑𝑚𝑖𝑡. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐𝘩 𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝘩𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐𝘩 𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑏𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑔 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑎 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑠𝘩𝑒'𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝘩𝑒𝑟. ❞ —Bridgette Wilson.

The two most beautiful Sonya Blade of all. If Bridgette Wilson could have moved like Sandra Hess, or had Kerri Hoskins. Hell, what a beauty and stronger that would be! And that’s all, thank you for trying to understand my words. Sorry for bothering you with Cassie’s character, I love her because thanks to her there is the CageBlade mainly, excuse me. And besides Cassie’s style was better in MKX, it was more cool and realistic. In MK11, yes, the prettier doesn’t mean "better character" (sorry). I especially like them both not only because of their physical attractiveness but because they both have a strong, rude and sensual look like Sonya. Edit: To any character, with his/her virtues and defects, with his/her successes and errors that humanize him/hers we must leave behind the hypocrisy of forgiving some and others crucify them because "we like them". Let’s face it, targets. And let’s stop putting our favorites on an undeserved pedestal, and devalue the actions and feelings of those we don’t like. But fandom are hypocritical places. And besides, we’re fans and we complain about everything! No? One thing I did not add, two Sonya songs! The first one is already something known and the second one was really a pleasant surprise. Below are the links:

youtube

And Sonya, last words: ♥

Now yes. Thank you all for reading, for patience. ♥

#sonyablade Sonya Mk MortalKombat #CageBlade #SonyaBlade #Sonya #MK #MortalKombat

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furmark6-blog · 5 years

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White Flourless Chocolate Cake

This white flourless chocolate cake is the perfect blond version of the most decadent, easiest dessert you can imagine. And it’s even naturally gluten free!

I find that white chocolate can be sort of a divider, rather than a uniter. The creamy texture is mostly universal, but the flavor tends to be love-it-or-hate-it. Maybe it’s the richness or the fact that many commercial white chocolates tend to be rather waxy and overly sweet?

I’m not really a white chocolate lover or a white chocolate hater. I’ll eat and enjoy nearly anything, and I find that the way a dessert or food is prepared and the quality of the ingredients can make all the difference. This white flourless chocolate cake, of course, is prepared in just the right way, with just the right ingredients.

How to prepare a flourless chocolate cake

Flourless chocolate cake is traditionally made by melting chocolate and butter, mixing them with granulated sugar and egg yolks and, then folding in whipped egg whites. Sometimes, for a bit more chocolate flavor, the egg whites are beaten with unsweetened cocoa powder.

White chocolate is unique, though, so it tends to behave differently than dark or even milk chocolate in baking. I’ve tried baking a white flourless chocolate cake by replacing only the dark chocolate with white chocolate in my easy flourless chocolate cake recipe. It was a total flop.

Baking a white chocolate cake using the same sort of ingredients as a dark chocolate flourless cake, I couldn’t get the cake to bake properly without burning on the bottom. It didn’t matter whether I separated the eggs and whipped the egg whites or not. Everything turned around when I added cream cheese to the mix, though.

White versus dark flourless chocolate cake

Since there’s no flour to stabilize a flourless cake as it bakes, often flourless baking recipes contain a nut butter or something like black beans or cooked quinoa. A traditional flourless chocolate cake has little more than chocolate, butter, sugar, and eggs.

In making a white chocolate cake recipe, I found it even more difficult to make a batter that was fluffy enough to bake into a cake, not a pudding. Adding cream cheese to the batter made all the difference.

This cake is not a cheesecake. I had originally planned to make a dark chocolate flourless cake and just swirl in some cheesecake batter. I do think that would taste amazing. But I was dying to see whether or not I could make a white version of a flourless chocolate cake.

Since there’s also a tremendous amount of variation from one white chocolate brand to another, I do have to recommend using the best quality white chocolate you can. In this recipe, I used Ghirardelli’s white chocolate baking bar, which I find to be of consistently good quality.

(If you’re gluten free, though, please be sure to check the packaging. I understand that there have been times in the past when Ghirardelli’s white chocolate baking bar has stated that it may contain wheat.)

Do you need to use a water bath?

A water bath, or “bain marie” is simply a method for baking a cake in a larger pan with hot water that rises about halfway up the sides of the pan with the cake batter in it. It provides moist heat that otherwise isn’t possible in a traditional oven. It also maintains a more even, consistent temperature to the cake during baking.

I don’t really care for baking anything at all in a springform pan. Add in the trouble of a water bath, and I’m even more annoyed. Happily, although this recipe requires the springform pan, the water bath is entirely optional.

When I baked this cake with a water bath, I found that the cake rose and baked more evenly (no higher, browner “crust” around the edges). The texture was creamier, too.

When I baked the cake without a water bath, I did place a shallow pan of simmering water on the bottom rack of the hot oven during baking. That helps the cake bake more evenly and in a nice, moist environment. But it doesn’t slow the baking like submerging the pan in an actual water bath does. I found that the cake didn’t rise as evenly, but the texture was more cake-like.

Ingredients and substitutions

If you have other dietary restrictions beyond being gluten free, I’m afraid I don’t have very good news for you about this recipe. But here’s all the explanation I’ve got:

Dairy-free: You simply can’t successfully make this recipe dairy-free, at least not by making the usual substitutions. I have tried and tried (and tried!), and there just isn’t any proper dairy-free substitute for cream cheese. Some of them are able to nail the texture, but none of them has the proper taste.

The closest sub is probably Tofutti, but even that just doesn’t cut it for me. Personally, I’d rather have something else entirely than a near-miss. The butter should be able to be replaced with Melt, my favorite vegan butter replacement, but eliminate the salt in the ingredient list as it’s already plenty salty.

Dairy-free white chocolate that actually tastes good can be hard to find commercially prepared. But I do have a recipe for vegan white chocolate that I think would work just fine.

Egg-free: There are 4 whole eggs in this recipe, and they do some serious heavy lifting. For that reason, I know of absolutely no egg substitutes that would work.

Prep time: 15 minutes Cook time: >45 minutes Yield: 1 9-inch cake

Ingredients

8 ounces white chocolate, chopped

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

8 tablespoons (112 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/2 cup (100 g) granulated sugar

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract (with vanilla seeds, if possible)

4 eggs (200 g, weighed out of shell) at room temperature, beaten

Whipped cream and berries, for serving (optional)

Directions

Preheat your oven to 325°F. Grease a 9-inch springform pan with nonstick cooking spray. Line the bottom of the pan with a 9-inch round of parchment paper. If using a water bath, cover the bottom and sides of the pan tightly with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Set the pan aside.

In a small, heat-safe bowl, place the chopped white chocolate. Melt either in the microwave (90 seconds at 50% power, and then for 30 seconds at a time at 50% power, stirring in between until melted and smooth) or over a double boiler (position the bowl over barely simmering water and stir occasionally until melted and smooth). Set the melted chocolate aside to cool while you prepare the other ingredients.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment or a large bowl with a handheld mixer, place the cream cheese, butter, sugar, salt, and vanilla. Whip on medium speed and then on high speed until light and fluffy (about 5 minutes). Lower the speed of the mixer to medium-low, and add the eggs one at a time. Increase the mixer speed to medium-high and continue to whip until well-combined (about 2 minutes). Reduce the speed again to medium-low, and drizzle in the melted white chocolate. Increase the speed to high and continue to whip for at least 5 minutes or until the mixture is smooth, but fluffy. The whisk should leave a visible trail in the batter.

Transfer the batter to the prepared springform pan and smooth into an even layer with an offset spatula. If using a water bath, place the pan in the center of a large roasting tin and place the pans in the center of the preheated oven. Pour hot water into the roasting pan while the pan is already in the oven (it’s much easier to move a pan around that doesn’t have hot water in it!) until the water reaches about halfway up the sides of the springform pan. Bake until the top is lightly golden brown and the cake doesn’t jiggle more than very slightly when moved from side to side. That will take about 45 minutes if you’re using a water bath, and about 5 to 10 minutes less without a water bath.

Turn off the oven and prop the door open slightly. Allow the cake to cool in the oven for at least 15 minutes and up to an hour. Remove the cake from the oven, allow it to cool in the pan to room temperature, and then place in the refrigerator for at least an hour, or up to 3 days. Run a knife around the edge of the pan to ensure that the edges aren’t sticking before unmolding the chilled cake. Rinse a large knife under hot water, then dry it off before making each cut in the cake. The knife should glide right through the cake. Garnish with whipped cream and berries, and serve chilled.

Source: https://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/white-flourless-chocolate-cake/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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309nyeon · 7 years

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[Pann] The Level of Hate that a Produce 101 Trainee is Currently Getting (Clean Version)

Source: 최근 까이고 있는 프로듀스 연습생을 향한 악플 클라스 (원글쓴이임) 크린버젼

This post got deleted again so I re-uploaded it again. I tried to censor the hate as nicely as possible, though it feels like covering the sky with your hands (t/n: not sure about this). Apparently, it got deleted because it contains violence, curses, and slanderㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Nate Pann, are you joking with me? All of the posts on Pann before were this badㅋㅋ Why were those posts acceptable, but my post which compiled all of the hate deleted? Ah, now you realize that it’s actually bad? Or did you not want people to know that you allowed those postsㅋㅋㅋ Though I’m sure my post got deleted because someone reported itㅋㅋ

Produce 101 is very trendy everywhere, which is why there’s a lot of talk about the trainees that appear on it as well. Recently, there’s a lot of interest(?) around Joo Haknyeon, a trainee who prepared Open Up, a concept evaluation stage.

He’s greedy even though he’s unskilled, he made mistakes onstage, he covered another trainee’s face onstage, etc etc. For all of these reasons, he’s getting hate. I can understand constructive criticism but the problem is that the hate has crossed a line and has become excessive..;;;

If you miss your dad so much, why don’t you just follow him? Why are you crying..

Just follow your dad.... the world’s air is wasted on you.

Just feel free to beat up the nuisance, pig bastard Joo Haknyeon

He’s ugly, untalented, and his personality’s trash. I was wondering why he was like that and it’s because he doesn’t have a dad.

His mom’s crying every night while having s** with pigs

t/n: Idk what the last two are saying.

As you can see, the comments towards his parents are so bad it’s hard to read;;;; Joo Haknyeon’s dad passed away last year;;;; It’s not only that but there was also a clarification post on him supposedly covering another trainee’s face onstage but...

t/n: People were saying that he covered Yongguk’s face on purpose because he wanted more spotlight. Someone wrote up a clarification post on Pann to clear up this misunderstanding but it still got a lot of dislikes. Here’s a translation of the post (original).

To sum it up, he was supposed to walk in front of that trainee to get to his ending position and the reason why he looked like he was covering the trainee’s face is because of the camera angle.

But all of the people who are just hating rather than giving constructive criticism completely ignore clarification posts like this. Look at all of the dislikes ㅋㅋ The post was only pointing out false assumptions and telling people to judge based on factsㅋㅋBut the haters responded with “the post is too long,” “so what?”, and “do you think that’s why he’s getting hate”

Haknyeon, you would just be better off working at a host bar. What are you even good at, you can’t even dance. Just give it up.

[+5, -0] What the hell... His chin is long and his stare is dirty but the Sangam fancamㅋㅋㅋ That fansite master (T/N: Aquamarine) is a con artist.

[+14, -2] I felt like Joo Haknyeon was acting like he was kind last week. At this point, he’s not even acting, he’s just straight-up evil.

I can’t even tell that he’s a face pick..; I can tell that Guanlin, Hyeongsub, and Jinyoung are all good-looking but they say that Haknyeon’s a face pick... they say that he has a refreshing charm and smells like hallabongs. He has a well-developed jaw and jutting chin so I’d at least accept it if they said he was a manly type instead of a refreshing type..;;

I’ve said this already but I can accept constructive criticism about his skills or greed. However, you hated on him for purposefully blocking a trainee’s face even though it wasn’t true. It doesn’t make any sense to me that he received hate and sexual harassment comments because of something that wasn’t true..

It’s not only Pann that’s like thisㅋㅋ Every online community has been attacking his looks and making terrible personal attacks to an excessive degree.

t/n: More here. They’re all just terrible comments about his face, body, skills, and personality. Comments about how they want to beat him up or nasty comments about his chin or shoulders. I don’t want to translate these anymore because they annoy tf out of me.

I’ve said this before, but I think constructive criticism about his skills or greed is acceptable. But all of the personal attacks, sexual harassment, and hate comments about him purposefully covering another trainee’s face.. even though this isn’t true..ㅋㅋㅋYou might think this only happens on DC Gallery because there are a lot of weird kids on there. However, the hate comments come from DC Gallery, Twitter, Facebook, Pann, online cafes and communities, and comments under videos and articles. These hate comments are everywhere.

I hope Haknyeon doesn’t search his name on the internet. The sexual harrassment and comments about his parents are too much..... It also seems like his agency is waiting for the right time (to sue).. I hope they accept the constructive criticism but deal with the sexual harassment, comments about his parents, and the like...

Overall: [+1124, -163]

---

1. [+422, -21] He used to smile constantly and proclaim that he’s Joo Haknyeon and point to his nametag to strangers, but now he doesn’t even smile and his expressions are dead whatever he does. What did he do that was so wrong? He’s not as skilled, yes, he expressed some greed, he made a mistake, but he quickly fixed his mistakes on M Countdown after being criticized. I was shocked that there were people bating their breath, waiting for him to make even one mistake on M Countdown. My heart hurt and I felt ashamed when people laughed mockingly and said that him being pushed around during the parts selection (t/n: not sure about this) was justified. His face was red and he couldn’t even hide how flustered he was. He’s only 19 years old. What kind of righteous, amazing life did you live that you’re so desperate to take him down? You need to stop it, for real.

2. [+414, -20] I’m honestly worried for Joo Haknyeon’s mental health.. I’ve never seen anyone from a survival show receive this much hate. Every community online has been attacking his personality, his skills, and his face to excruciating detail. Now they’ll curse him whether he smiles or cries.. They shame his fans for liking him so all of his fans seem like they’re hiding (I have never seen anyone taking his side). It’s to the point where people will say that they pity the other trainees because of Haknyeon or that it’s because of Haknyeon that so and so got eliminated. He gets hate just for breathing.

I didn’t even want to go to school after fighting with someone from my class, but as soon as he turns on the internet, they’re all hating on him so proudly I bet he wants to leave Korea. I’m so, so worried.. If he doesn’t debut, will people forgive(?) him?

3. [+412, -16] Didn’t he smile and say that he’s never been loved so much at the beginning of the show....ㅋㅋㅋ Do you realize how cruel this system is? The kids first say please love me and then end up saying sorry and don’t hate me...The kids need to go to therapy, and all of the people attacking these young kids with hate comments have terrible personalities... I copy-pasted this best reply from beforeㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I knew this would happen^^

4. [+67, -2] After watching yesterday’s episode, I could tell that he knew that he was lacking in skills, and they even edited out scenes where he was practicing by himself. I just feel so bad for this 19 year old kid. He gets hated on just for breathing.. Don’t all kids at this age have lots of bravado, ambition, and playfulness? Is this something that deserves this much hate? Let’s not even acknowledge the people who think they know everything about a person based on a show. They won’t even listen to reason.. Haknyeon, hang in there.

5. [+67, -3] I’ve read this post several times already but I still can’t calm down. My hands and feet are trembling... I hope he’s never seen these hate comments...but he apparently looks at all of the comments...I’m really sorry, Haknyeon...I only wanted you to see pretty words.....ah....seriously.....Even though we’re the same human beings, these people are just so disappointing ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

6. [+59, -1] I’m so sadㅠㅠ just as the haters say, if Haknyeon really didn’t put any effort, would he have been able to perform Open Up in three days? Yes, Haknyeon does lack skills, made some mistakes, and is a slow learner, but I’m wondering if a 19 year old kid really deserves this much hate.

First Picture: When he was practicing by himself (during Right Round) Second Picture: He took detailed notes of Dongho’s advice on his singing. Third & Fourth Picture: He’s memorizing the lyrics during rest time.

7. [+57, -0] The worst thing is that fans of higher-ranked trainees would say that he'd be a nuisance to their picks while fans of lower-ranked trainees would pick on him because they were threatened by him. On top of that, they even made him out to be some kind of outcast among the trainees and said that him being treated like an outcast was justified. There wasn’t anybody who didn’t curse Joo Haknyeon, online or offline. Did he really do something that terrible? I was shocked by how everyone was relentlessly hating on him. It’s not even a matter of him debuting or not anymore. I’m worried if he’ll even be able to return and start a new life after Produce 101. Why are you guys so determined to take him down?

8. [+54, -1] If you’re human, at least have the decency to realize there are things you shouldn’t say. How can you hate on a kid who’s says he’s going to work hard when you haters would probably go through a mental breakdown if someone cursed you in real life? Do you have any right to act like this? He made a mistake? You’re just giving constructive criticism? He’s unlikeable? I can understand all of these, but this (t/n: referring to the post) is just character assassination. How is he supposed to live after this when he knows that are hundreds and thousands of people that hate and curse him to this extent? Let’s not be like this as human beings. I hope his agency sues these haters and they get what they deserveㅡㅡ

9. [+53, -1] I’m so angry I can’t sleep. I didn’t even hear Haknyeon’s voice in the sports day segment in last week’s episode. There are people saying that Mnet and Loen are on bad terms, and it’s definitely true (Cre.ker is a Loen subsidiary). Also, please stop making hate remarks about his personality. Even though he dropped from #10 to #18, he’s still a fragile kid who cried when they announced Yongguk was #21;;

(t/n: Haknyeon and Yongguk are close. They trained under the same agency together before, and Yongguk mentioned that he was close to Haknyeon in his Vapp live.)

10. [+47, -2] Whenever I see Joo Haknyeon, I’m reminded of Kim Sejung. I just feel somewhat sad for them because they both seem the type to smile by default. Whenever he makes a mistake, he smiles. Even though he was kicked out of Never, he smiled. When he was pushed around during the parts assignment for the final songs, he smiled even brighter. It just seems like he smiles to control his emotionsㅠㅠ This is something I felt since the first elimination round. By the way, I’m not a Haknyeon fan. My one pick is Hyeongsub.

11. [+46, -2] They really close their eyes and ears to everything

12. [+39, -2] Before this post, if we said that the hate was too much, they’d either shut us up by saying that 1) we’re Haknyeon’s fans or 2) that his actions deserves this much hate. Do you know what people said in response to the talk about Haknyeon being an outcast? They asked why the others would even like a guy like that. Do you like making out your faves to be bullies/bystanders and saying that Haknyeon deserves to be alienated? You’re all attacking him like you’re all just having a good time pissing on him.

13. [+38, -5] You have to debut. So I can see all of the haters choke.

14. [+34, -1] I’ve seen this post before but it got deleted.. why didn’t they delete all of the hate comments before then.. All of the haters will eventually get what they deserve... You’re being too much to a 19 year old kid.

15. [+31, -0] The comments make me want to throw up. Haknyeon’s not my pick but I just feel so bad for Haknyeon and his fans. He really didn’t get any screentime in the beginning and all of his fans looked for him in the corners and edges of the show and they stuck through with it for weeks. But starting from the 6th episode, there were lots of people who began to say that it would have been better if he just didn’t get any screentime... There was also shots where you could see him practicing alone in the corner, but they don’t show any of that. When they showed scenes of the kids playing with each other and showed who was close to who, they didn’t show any cuts of Haknyeon. Even now, it’s hard to find even a strand of his hair in bts videosㅋㅋ Because of this, there are people who’s saying that he’s an outcast or whatever, but how would we know that when they don’t even show him.. I’ve been getting a weird feeling about this since before, but after watching last week’s broadcast, I’m certain that the PD doesn’t like him. He was completely cut out of the sports day segment and the trainee’s talk time.

16. [+25, -0] I became a fan after seeing Haknyeon’s innocent, bright smile. These days, he doesn’t smile much, and when he’s smiling, he doesn’t even look like he’s smiling for real.. I’m sad because he’s not like how he was before. What makes me sadder is that he doesn’t express how he feels inside. I hate myself for thinking this, but I sometimes think it would have been better if he had received more PR training (he’s too innocent so he doesn’t know how to act on broadcast) or if he was a bit more sly and knew how to act accordingly to get more love from the viewers... I’m just very scared and worried that Haknyeon will change.. so please stop it with the hate. Just think of it as saving someone.. I just want to continue seeing Haknyeon’s bright smile that we saw at the beginning of the show.

17. [+25, -0] Haknyeon fans, don’t give up just because he’s #18. Vote even harder. The show doesn’t show any of Haknyeon’s relationships with the other boys so it makes sense that he dropped during 2-pick. It may have actually been a good thing. Now that I think about it carefully, they really didn’t show any of Haknyeon’s friendships on the show since the first episode and the bts videos. Now that it’s one-pick, continue to vote for Haknyeon. Just struggle for one more week. Vote furiously so that Haknyeon can achieve his dream of debuting.

18. [+25, -0] Creker needs to sue them. They think they can just say anything onlineㅠㅠ My heart hurts.

19. [+25, -0] He’s been hearing stuff like this, but he thanked (the national producers) for giving him the chance to be onstage again? I pity him. I’m worried for his mental health.

20. [+24, -0] I’m reuploading my comment because the post got deleted. You think the whole fuss that happened with Haknyeon’s Open Up fancam involved just a minority? For two hours, all of the best replies on Haknyeon’s fancam were reported and taken down. They didn’t even reach 500 likes before getting taken down. The hate comments and the fan’s comments were all too much. You’re the ones who posted on different communities, asking people to like the hate comments so that they can be the top comments on his individual cam. That’s why his fans were so desperate to make the positive comments the top comments on his video. You're the ones who wrote that Haknyeon’s fancam would be a hot issue and that everybody should go look for another mistake he made in his fancam. And you’re still claiming that you’re only “criticizing” him?

21. [+23, -0] Pann is hilariousㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ What were you guys doing just watching when everyone was maliciously attacking him? You’re all the same.

22. [+23, -0] Haknyeon’s not my pick but I’m upvoting this. A post like this should go up on the rankings. Not only Haknyeon but all of the trainees didn’t do anything to warrant comments like these. These people have no right to say such harsh things. They think they’re important because of the national producer label. Don’t fool yourself, you guys are nothing.

22. [+23, -0] This is a misunderstanding. Haknyeon didn’t cover Yongguk;;; Haknyeon’s supposed to walk in front of Yongguk to get to his ending pose, the camera angle was weird, and if you look at their picture on the official facebook page, he didn’t cover Yongguk.. Also, Yongguk mentioned Haknyeon as one of the trainees he was closest to during his Vapp live, and Haknyeon cried for Yongguk when he got eliminated. Would he really cover Yongguk on purpose?

23. [+21, -0] I thought he wasn’t a bad kid, seeing how the people around him have always come out to say something against the negative way the show portrays him. I knew that people were criticizing him, but I didn’t know it was this bad. Why don’t people know their limits..? This isn’t constructive criticism. This is just senseless hate.

24. [+21, -0] Eunki and Hwanwoong fans don’t even hate on Haknyeon because they know that Eunki and Hwanwoong are actually close to Haknyeon and that the editing was weird. It’s so obvious when people pretend to be Eunki and Hwanwoong fans to hate on Haknyeonㅉㅉ

25. [+20, -1] It’s goosebumps-inducing how you’ll hate on Haknyeon using the other traineesㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㄱ So, did you guys ever vote for Hwanwoong, Eunki and Yongguk? They’re actually close to Haknyeon and genuinely support him. It’s funny how you’ll make all these assumptions based on five minutes of a show.

26. [+16, -0] Haknyeon’s expression... He looks like he’s flustered and his heart’s beating fast and like he’s about to cry because he’s so surprised, but he’s trying so hard to hold it in... he’s swallowing with his mouth, and his eyes look like they’re at a loss. It’s a face that can’t decide on any particular expression. How flustered he must have been. In that short moment, so many thoughts must have run across his head.

#produce 101 #joo haknyeon #haknyeon

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sartle-blog · 7 years

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Guide to Your Best Summer Beach Bod

#beach body #summer #beach day #art #art history #swimming #very silly #thomas eakins #michelangelo #creation of adam #hieronymus bosch #garden of earthly delights #henry moore

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rjhamster · 5 years

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You are not "Just a..."

November 16

by Mike Deegan, Life Lessons Learned Through Sport

I’m just a small school baseball coach. It’s scary, I’ve used that sentence on way too many occasions. There have been times where I have said these words to others; however, my most frequent use is through self-talk. Have you used limiting phrases like this? Have you ever put yourself in a self-imposed box? Why?I’ve wrestled with why I, and I suspect many others, minimize their value. I came up with three reasons: 1. We pay attention to the noise. There are people who demean what others do. Some faculty members believe competitive athletics are not necessary to a well-rounded education. Some higher level coaches think lower division coaches are not knowledgeable. Some members of the community don’t see coaching as a real job. Somewhere along the line we start believing these “haters” are right. 2. We lack conviction and confidence. If you believe in yourself and your process it doesn’t matter what outsiders think. When we say, “I’m just a…” we are hedging. It gives permission to not hold ourselves to the highest standards and put forth our best effort. Why would I compete hard and strive for excellence when “I’m just a …..?” 3. We have false humility. When we minimize what we do we feel we are being modest or humble. We can’t mistake meekness with humility. I hope you understand and embrace that:* You are not “just an administrative assistant”. You are the front porch of the organization. Your best self can set the climate. The organization and writing skills you possess keep the group churning.* You are not “just a bench player.” The effort and approach you bring to practice demands everyone grow and improve. Your positive attitude is contagious and inspires the entire team and staff. The team cannot reach its ceiling without you.* You are not “just a teacher.” You are responsible for the learning, growth and development of our youth. For some kids, you are their source of safety and comfort.* You are not “just a small business owner.” You are a sign of zest and courage. You provide a product or service that improves the lives of the people within your community. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to interact with top leaders in various fields. A common thread amongst the people I admire most is they realize the importance of everyone and every profession. They are curious of what others do, they are appreciative of their sacrifices, and they admire driven people who are looking to make a difference. So, while you may say, “I’m just a….” high level people and achievers don’t see it that way! A Note to Leaders:This week may be the time to reset your approach. Are you providing the platform for everyone in your organization to utilize their strengths? Have you looked only to the leadership team or “key employees” for new ideas? Do your people feel heard, understood, and appreciated? Consider how powerful your group can be if everyone believes th have the ability to make an impact. Over 90% of people who read this will say, “yes, our people know they are valued.” But do they? Just writing, “thanks for all you do” or “I couldn’t do it without you” isn’t enough. It’s actions and behaviors that matter. What can you do today to inspire someone to share their true thoughts with you? Final Thought:I have come to grips that I’m not “just a small school coach.” Developing a culture that strives for excellence creates a learning platform. Life mirrors sports. The gut-wrenching losses and triumphant wins. The feeling of giving all you have and not receiving the outcome you want. The set-backs. Overcoming those setbacks. The difficult and sometimes painful conversations. Being there in times of need. Celebrating great news. Grieving in loss. “Just a coach” can’t create an experience like this. Playing it safe and bending to society’s pressure to be average is what “just a coach” would do. That’s not me.That’s not you. No Email tomorrowEnjoy your Sunday 😎Call someone you love

Make a difference today,

Love Clint

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web-novel-polls · 1 month

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Best Hater Lower Bracket

Please vote for whoever’s best at being a hater, not who you like the most. If unfamiliar with a character, check out the propaganda below the cut!

Lan Wangji from Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS)

Submission: Just because he's quiet doesn't mean he's not a hater. He gets his hate across economically. Jin Guangyao? Hated. Su She? Hated. Jiang Cheng? Don't even ask. Loathed entirely. Anyone else not in his immediate family (including problematic cancelled husband Wei Wuxian)? Not even worth his time. Bro even hates himself (sometimes)

Han Sooyoung from Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint

Submission: She spent years hating on a web novel similar to her own through an anonymous account and hate reading the comments it's sole reader posted. Even after the novel came to life, she still kept criticizing its horrible writing and protagonist.

#lan wangji #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #mxtx #han sooyoung #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #polls #best hater lower round 1 #best hater lower bracket #best hater tournament #my polls #queue

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bettingtipstech-blog · 5 years

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CS:GO. Prediction for ALTERNATE aTTaX — HAVU. LOOT.BET (19.08.19)

New Post has been published on https://betting-tips.site/csgo-prediction-for-alternate-attax-havu-loot-bet-19-08-19/

CS:GO. Prediction for ALTERNATE aTTaX — HAVU. LOOT.BET (19.08.19)

LOOT.BET Season 3 Lower bracket round 1

ALTERNATE aTTaX vs. HAVU Gaming best of 3

The beginning of the match: 19.08.19 at 16:55 GMT

In the bottom grid of the third season of LOOT.BET teams ALTERNATE aTTaX and HAVU Gaming. What able German players? The forecast used the line and the odds the bookmaker GG.bet.

ALTERNATE aTTaX

After eight months of ALTERNATE completely changed the composition, they are constantly harassed any problems. Of course, expect a strong game from тир3 band is not necessary, but they gave as many as 11 positions during August, which is superblock result for any level. Recent matches confirm my words — the Germans were disorganized Unique, being the undisputed favorites, and the Russians won quite easily.

In the confrontation with the Finnish quintet, ALTERNATE aTTaX can only hope to peak Mirage or Vertigo, but even they will need all of the power structure, because the opponents are very dangerous.

HAVU Gaming

Everyone knows that HAVU are unstable team, but their recent results can undermine the confidence of the most inveterate haters. The Finns outplayed DreamEaters, and the opponents like Unique and say nothing — the team is rarely wrong in such matchah. In my opinion, the current world ranking composition is completely untrue. The team is steadily declassified novamov and worthy of fighting against more powerful, sometimes allowing for misfires, like a battle with SJ.

Naturally, the Finns will come to a fight against ALTERNATE as obvious favourites and the whole point of the fight is contained in the fact whether the Germans take at least one card. I think HAVU Gaming quietly banned Mirage and get a good chance to “dry” victory.

Statistics

ALTERNATE aTTaX. Three wins and two defeats.

HAVU Gaming. Three defeats in five matches.

The account of personal meetings — 6-5 in favor of the Finns.

Forecast

I think we will see quite an interesting battle that will help to pass the time waiting majeure. Both teams can make a mistake and give the optional rounds, but ALTERNATE aTTaX is much worse than the one show HAVU. Yes, the Germans can cause problems to their opponents and fight on its peak, but the chance of such events is very small. My prediction — the “dry” HAVU Gaming win from the bookmaker GG.bet.

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dramafan5-blog · 6 years

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The Best Tinted Moisturizers With SPF: Drugstore to High-End

Affiliate links I am all about tinted moisturizers, especially in the summer when my makeup routine is more along the lines of subtle and natural.

I want a little coverage but not a full face of makeup and that’s why I swap out my favorite full-coverage foundation with a more lightweight and SPF-boosted version.

With summer in full swing, let’s talk about the best tinted moisturizers with SPF that combine lightweight coverage with hydrating skincare benefits AND sun protection to boot. They are a great alternative to heavier foundations and keep your complexion pretty (and protected!) but still allow skin to breathe and won’t congest your pores.

The best part is that none of these complexion perfectors will make a huge dent in your wallet…in fact all of these tried-and-tested favorites are under $35!

From Tarte to Neutrogena, here are the best tinted moisturizers with SPF that are perfect to tie your ‘less is more’ look together…not only for summer but all year round!

1. SEPHORA Collection Bright Future Skin Tint SPF 25 ($18)

Infused with antioxidant vitamin E, shea extract and rice peptides, this lightweight tinted moisturizer provides natural looking coverage that smooths and evens skin tone beautifully while adding a fresh, healthy glow. Great for all skin types, the formula offers long-lasting moisture without a heavy or greasy feel.

2. TARTE Tarteguard 20 Tinted Moisturizer SPF 20 ($36)

This oil-free tinted moisturizer with SPF protects and perfects skin with natural, sheer-to-light coverage that corrects uneven skin tone and redness. It really evens everything out and blurs the appearance of blemishes and dark spots for a your-skin-but-better look.

The antioxidant-rich formula also provides daily UV defense with flashback-free, non-chemical sunscreen actives and essential hydration with a blend of sodium hyaluronate, vitamins A and E, plus fruit extracts.

3. First Aid Beauty Hello FAB Triple Protection Skin Tint with Goji Berry SPF 30 ($34)

If summer is synonymous with shiny t-zones for your complexion, you’ll fall head over heels for this ultra-light tinted moisturizer that offers glides on effortlessly for brush-free, buildable coverage. It has a satin matte finish that lasts all day without creasing and won’t emphasize pores.

Even better, the formula delivers a healthy dose of antioxidant-rich ingredients, including goji berry, astaxanthin and vitamin C plus SPF 30 (from pure mineral zinc oxide) to protect skin from sun and pollution. Being fragrance-free, it’s a great option even for sensitive skin types.

4. Cetaphil PRO Daily Facial Moisturizer SPF 20 ($11)

When it comes to drugstore tinted moisturizers, this is one of the top-notch options that’s suitable for all skin types. Lightly hydrating with a smooth matte finish, its sheer neutral tint tones down redness while offering light coverage to even out your skin tone.

Along with gentle 100% mineral SPF, it also contains soothing antioxidants that help boost sunscreen’s effectiveness! I also featured this sensitive-skin friendly option in my list of best drugstore moisturizers with SPF. The only downside is that the SPF is on the lower side, as compared to the standard SPF 30.

Note: This product was previously called Cetaphil Redness Relieving Daily Facial Moisturizer SPF 20.

5. BareMinerals Complexion Rescue Tinted Hydrating Gel Cream SPF 30 ($30)

If you are all about convenience with instant hydration and naturally radiant coverage plus reliable sun protection, this tinted moisturizer fits the bill perfectly! It has an elegant gel-cream texture that glides on like a dream and moisturizes while providing natural-looking light to medium coverage.

image credit: QVC

Because of its slightly dewy finish, those with oily skin might need some powder for their shine-prone areas. But overall, it’s the perfect pick for a fresh-faced look! Not to mention, it comes in an impressive range of 16 shades for fair to medium-deep skin tones.

6. Neutrogena Hydro Boost Hydrating Tint ($12)

Enriched with hyaluronic acid for a healthy dose of hydration, this oil-free tinted moisturizer offers buildable sheer to medium coverage that doesn’t fade throughout the day. It blends easily with fingers for a smooth and moisturized but not dewy finish, which makes it a great option for almost all skin types.

It feels very comfortable on the skin and doesn’t settle into fine lines. The formula is also non-comedogenic (won’t clog pores) and comes in a good range of 10 shades to suit multiple skin tones.

7. Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Aging Perfector SPF 20 ($10.29)

Aside from broad-spectrum UV protection, this silky-smooth tinted moisturizer hides imperfections and provides natural-looking light coverage with a satin finish that adds a touch of radiance. And it doesn’t disappear or go greasy as the day wears on! Even better, the lightweight formula is enriched with anti-aging retinol and a nice mix of antioxidants, so it makes your skin look better over time!

Though this tinted moisturizer has SPF 20, be sure to layer on a stronger sunscreen underneath if you plan on being outside for more than a few minutes, as retinol can make you more sensitive to sun damage.

8. Peter Thomas Roth Max Mineral Naked SPF 45 ($38)

Staying true to summer’s beauty mantra, this lightweight tinted moisturizer with SPF is the ultimate makeup multi-tasker! Perfect for lazy girls, busy moms or foundation haters, it blends like a breeze for natural coverage and packs a whole lot of skincare benefits including antioxidant Vitamins A, C, and E.

The formula provides just the right amount of hydration without suffocating pores or settling into lines and leaves skin with a healthy glow (not oily or shiny). The best part? It offers solid sun protection (broad-spectrum SPF 45) with a mineral-only formula of zinc oxide and titanium dioxide, making it perfect even for sensitive skin. Powerful sun protection with perks…yes please!

9. Pixi Beauty H2O SkinTint ($24)

Perfect for a fresh faced no-makeup look, this complexion-enhancing gel tint evens out skin tone while offering long-lasting yet lightweight hydration with moisturizing rose water.

The cooling and refreshing formula melts right into skin and feels much lighter & breathable than a traditional foundation. More to love, it also contains antioxidant-rich green tea, soothing english chamomile and relaxing lavender.

image credit: Pixi Beauty

10. W3LL PEOPLE Bio Tint Multi-Action Moisturizer SPF 30 ($29)

When you need a bit more coverage than an average tinted moisturizer, this vegan makeup/ skincare hybrid goes the distance without looking overly done. It feels great to wear, isn’t heavy at all, diminish imperfections and evens skin tone beautifully.

The satin finish isn’t dewy or matte, but adds a subtle radiance so the formula is best suited for normal to dry/combination skin types.

This multipurpose moisturizer also brightens and hydrates with organic coconut, pomegranate, aloe, ginseng, broccoli seed oil and a peptide complex. Plus, it provides broad-spectrum protection with 20% pure zinc oxide.

11. Physicians Formula Organic Wear Work It! Marathonista Tinted Moisturizer SPF 40 ($12):

This sweat-proof tinted moisturizer can last even through your toughest sweat session! It delivers heavy-duty performance without a heavy feel on your skin and stays put for well over 8 hours. The gym proof, water-resistant formula combines a blend of proteins and antioxidants vitamin A, C and E to boost hydration while also defending against sun damage with mineral sunscreen actives.

It offers sheer to light coverage with a natural dewy finish that is best suited for normal to dry skin types. Those with oily skin can also make it work by pairing this with a powder on top for better longevity.

What’s your current favorite tinted moisturizer? I would love to hear about your top picks in the comments below?

Shop this post…

Source: https://beautytidbits.com/2018/07/best-tinted-moisturizers/

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itsworn · 6 years

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Clawing for Traction in a 784-Horsepower FWD 2004 Monte Carlo

Brandon Furches’ 784hp, 3,600-pound, turbocharged LS4 2004 Monte Carlo SS gets a lot of heat on the internet, but it’s not what you expect. Though open-minded observers dig it for the innovative breath of fresh air that it is (let’s face it, how many more LS swaps can there be?), there are still naysayers. Brandon tells us, “The biggest pushback on my Facebook account [Furches Performance] isn’t from import and front-drive haters, but rather guys who say the car isn’t a real Monte Carlo.”

The Ludlow, Massachusetts–based hot rodder and 32-year-old owner of Furches Performance continues: “Typically, these statements are followed up with some ignorant reference to how the 1980s G-body Montes were the last real ones, or how my generation of Monte Carlo—the 1995–2007—is nothing more than a W-body Lumina with two fewer doors.”

That’s a surprise. Frankly, we were expecting Brandon to say knee-jerk trolls zero in on the front-drive factor and lump him into the import scene for summary execution. But no, G-body defenders are the ones throwing the most stones. C’mon, rear-drive Monte guys, show Brandon some more love! After all, if you’re a certain age, you’ll easily remember 1978 when GM “down sized” the third-generation Monte Carlo by 15 inches, 500 pounds, and made the 200-cube Chevy V6 standard equipment. People freaked out. To many, the 1977 Monte Carlo—all 3,700 pounds of it—was the last true Monte Carlo, not some shrunken-head Aerocoupe or L69 SS. Today, the pushback against the front-drive Monte just proves that everything is relative if you live long enough.

Getting back to our story, Brandon graduated from high school in 2005 and was in his formative years when showroom-fresh and lightly used front-drive 1995-up Monte Carlos were all over the roads of New England. Their sporty flair and front-wheel drive allowed year-round traction—with style.

The LS4 is the only member of the LS engine family with a single accessory drivebelt. This sheds length and allows transverse fitment between the strut towers. Chevy built 14,829 LS4 V8-powered Monte Carlos in 2006–2007, plus nearly as many 2006–2009 Impala SSs, 2005–2008 Pontiac Grand Prix GXPs, and 2008 Buick LaCrosse Supers. Donor engines or complete Gen 7 project vehicles are easily found.

Buyers agreed, from 1995 through the end on June 19, 2007, when the last Monte Carlo rolled out of GM-Canada’s Oshawa assembly plant. A total of 675,891 front-wheel-drive (W-body) Monte Carlos were built. They couldn’t have been that bad!

Brian agrees: “These were the cars that were new and exciting when I was a teenager and getting my license. In the early 2000s, GM had done away with the RWD F-body Camaro/Firebird platform, and at $44,800, Corvettes were way out of sight financially. But the Monte Carlos, Impalas, and Pontiac GTPs, these were the affordable domestic platforms of my generation.” With hard work, Brandon enjoyed his senior year at high school (2005) wheeling a used 2000 V6 Monte Carlo.

The cast-aluminum Edelbrock Pro-Flo XT EFI manifold doesn’t crack at 10 psi like the factory plastic LS4 unit. A charge intercooler is located inside the front fascia.

So when Chevrolet announced the LS4 5.3L V8 option for SS models in 2006, Brandon was curious. “It was the first V8-powered Monte Carlo since 1988 and was a rocket ship compared to the old-school Monte Carlo SS with its retro Quadrajet carburetor. But with list prices starting at $32,000, buying one new was out of the question.

The BorgWarner S475 turbo cranks out 24 psi and hasn’t yet hurt the junkyard-sourced LS4 long-block, which Brandon spins to 7,000 without fear. LS4s have the same “number 243” aluminum heads used on the LS6 Corvette, but without titanium valves.

This led Brandon to own and explore a string of used Monte Carlos with the next-best-thing L67 supercharged 3.8L V6 with 240 hp and 280 lb-ft of torque. He says, “My supercharged V6s always walked away from the anemic, 305-powered G-body Monte SSs on my local scene. The blower whine more than made up for how it was turning the wrong tires. Plus, I was getting 30 mpg and toasting my ass with the heated leather seats.” Later, when Brandon added nitrous, tuning, and other tricks, his supercharged V6 front-drive street sleepers were running 12s and surprised plenty of Fox Mustangs, IROC-Zs, and even Buick GNs.

The LS4 crank is 13mm shorter than other LS units, 10mm at the snout and 3mm at the flange. Though LS4 blocks lack starter-motor mounting pads, they’re all lightweight aluminum with integral iron bore liners.

Mechanically, Brandon loves all front-drive Monte Carlos, but when it came to the body redesign that came along with the 2006 model year’s V8 option, not so much. “My 2004 is a so-called Gen 6, which ran 2000 through 2005.” For its final two years, 2006–2007, Chevrolet massaged the body, interior, and driveline options to render the Gen 7 configuration. And while the 5.3L V8 wasn’t available in the 2000–2005 Gen 6 Monte Carlo, it’s an easy swap—as we’ll demonstrate here.

Tune in as Brandon reveals what it took to install a 2006–2007 Gen 7 LS4 V8 into his 2004 Monte SS plus a transaxle upgrade trick straight from the Cadillac cook book!

Tech Notes

Who: Brandon Furches What: 2004 Chevy Monte Carlo SS Where: Furches Performance; Ludlow, MA Engine: Proving the astonishing potential of turbocharging—and the incredible strength built into the LS engine family—the R.A.D. Auto Machine Dynojet 248 chassis dyno registered several 784hp and 718–lb-ft pulls at the front tires. The source of it is a stock 2006 Monte Carlo SS junkyard engine that continues to serve without any rebuilding, except for resurfaced “234” heads. The stock 3.780×3.622-inch bore and stroke remain, along with the factory-issue powdered-metal rods and full-floating pins. The standard bore 10:1 LS4 hypereutectic flat-top pistons remain, and standard GM MLS-type head gaskets are used. All block fasteners are standard GM torque-to-yield, except for ARP 12-point head studs. The widely praised “234” heads retain their stock 65cc chambers, 210cc cathedral-port intake runners, and 75cc exhaust runners, without porting or polishing. The stock 2.00-/1.575-inch GM valves take Brian Tooley Racing double springs, steel retainers, and locks. A Comp Cams hydraulic roller cam and GM LS7 roller lifter set replaces the stock Monte Carlo SS displacement-on-demand equipment. Cam specs are 0.617/0.617-inch lift, 281/300 degrees duration at 0.006-inch lift, and 231/248 degrees duration at 0.050-inch lift. The cam centerline is 111 degrees. Stock LS4 1.7:1-ratio rocker arms and stands work with Brian Tooley pushrods. A stock LS4 oil pump supplies 1.25 ci of Rotella T6 5W40 oil with every revolution. Stock LS4 valve covers mount AC Delco coils and NGK TR18X spark plugs. Ignition timing is set at 18 degrees total at full boost.

Induction: An Edelbrock Pro-Flo XY intake manifold was repurposed to accept the boosted intake charge with a FAST 92mm Big Mouth throttle-body, 80-pound Ford Racing injectors, and a BorgWarner S475 turbocharger. A pair of Turbosmart 40mm wastegates and a 50mm blow-off valve restrict boost to 24 psi. The entire cold side of the turbo plumbing was fabricated using 3-inch aluminum tubing and a Summit Racing 3.5-inch intercooler.

Exhaust: The forward exhaust manifold is a stock LS4 unit with a reworked flange and 2-inch stainless-steel V-band. The rearward manifold is from the passenger side of a 2004 GMC truck (non EGR) that was massaged to accept a T304 stainless crossover tube. Adam Girard’s AG Designs helped immensely with the fabrication of needed flanges. A simple 4-inch aluminum elbow pokes through the hood skin to exhale spent fumes. Keep the breathalyzers away, this Monte has E85 on its breath!

Transaxle: Brandon isn’t the first to develop an LS-powered, front-drive Monte Carlo SS, but he is among the first to replace the factory installed weak link—the 4T65 transaxle—with the more robust 4T80E. And just as the internet has the power to pester and heckle, it can also build communities working together to solve common problems. Here, a Wiki page on Matt Happel’s Sloppy Mechanics Web page revealed to Brandon an electrical trick that makes computer-controlled 4L80E transmissions (RWD style) behave like a full-manual valvebody for quick, clean, driver-controlled shifts. Well, it so happens that the Sloppy Mechanic’s trick works just as well on the front-drive 4T80E transaxle. This allowed Brandon to mount a sure-shifting B&M Pro Ratchet shifter in the factory console.

Fuel System: The stock Monte Carlo fuel tank feeds E85 (108 octane) to twin Red Horse 340-lb/hr fuel pumps. Flexible -6AN braided lines feed the fuel to and from the Edelbrock fuel rails at 60 to 85 psi, depending on boost. An Aeromotive regulator monitors fuel pressure. At fill-up time, Brandon pulls up to any E85 pump, pops open the stock hinged flap, and gets to work. Though the E85 has a lower BTU content than straight gasoline, keeping the stock 17.5-gallon fuel tank instead of a small, race-only fuel cell negates much of the range reduction impact when cruising. Better yet, the W-body positions the gas tank ahead of the rear axle centerline, not behind it. This helps put a little more weight on the front tires for traction.

Electronics: The PCM controlling the engine is from a 4.8L/4T80E-equipped 2004 Chevrolet Express donor van. Brandon adapted it all to work with the Monte Carlo’s stock instrument cluster and other onboard systems. This way, all stock gauges work, including the gas gauge, turn-signal indicators, speedometer, and even the heated power seats. Brandon had some early hassles tuning the idle speed after installing the hot camshaft, but help from Matt Happel of Sloppy Mechanics saved the day. PCM fiddling is done via a HP Tuners system with 3 Bar Enhancement. A small battery box in the spare-tire well helps weight distribution.

Chassis/Suspension: All stock struts have been replaced by lighter, stiffer units from BC Racing. Smaller brakes from the GM parts bin allow the use of popular 15-inch rolling stock. The front spindles were shortened and re-drilled. No effort has been made to improve cornering prowess since this is a straight-line car. Ground clearance is close to stock.

Wheels/Tires: Brandon’s former 11.9-second 2014 Mustang GT donated its 10×15 Race Star rear rims and 28.0-10.5-15 MT ET Drag slicks to the front of the Monte, while a set of low-resistance 17×4.5 Race Star rims and M&H P185/55R17 tires cause many double-takes. The back-space measurements are 7.25 inches, front; 1.75 inches, rear.

Interior: This is no gutted rattle trap. Monte Carlos are personal luxury machines, and Brandon has kept his that way. The only thing missing is the back seat. Otherwise, the power windows, heated driver seat, leather upholstery, center console, and tilt steering wheel are all bone-stock—and work. And being an original Intimidator edition, the head rests of each bucket seat are embroidered with full color Earnhardt logos. The only missing items Brandon might worry about later are a rollcage, driver safety harness, and parachute. Yep, with traction, this puppy ought to nudge the 9s.

Exterior: Brandon could have saved himself a ton of effort, like the whole engine-swap thing, if he could only accept the looks of the Gen 7 Monte Carlo’s 2006–2007 body restyle. Then, all he’d need to do is swap in the Caddy-sourced 4T80E transaxle. The LS4 5.3L V8 would already be there for his add-on turbo. But, no, Brandon was stuck on the curvier Gen 6 (2000–2005) Monte Carlo, where GM never offered a V8. We dig the function-meets-form hood openings for turbo body and exhaust stack clearance.

Body: The 3,600-pound, all-steel Monte has no fiberglass or carbon-fiber replacement panels. Skip the paint, too. The body is covered in “Urban Jungle” adhesive wrap by Avery Graphics, applied by “Sam” at Peak Graphics (Enfield, CT). The front wheel lips have been slightly trimmed. We’d guesstimate that F/R weight distribution is about 65/35.

The post Clawing for Traction in a 784-Horsepower FWD 2004 Monte Carlo appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/clawing-traction-784-horsepower-fwd-2004-monte-carlo/ via IFTTT

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thefinishedarticle · 6 years

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The World Cup in review

Russia 2018: better than they said it was going to be, but not as good as they will say it was. There has been much talk about this being the best World Cup in memory, but that memory must be a short one: in mine it doesn’t even surpass its predecessor, Brazil 2014. It’s definitely been unusual, and unique in many respects, but weird doesn’t always equal wonderful.

Don’t get me wrong: it has been a perfectly decent World Cup. The scare-mongering before the tournament proved unfounded, as it always does, and we’ve had many good games to enjoy against a backdrop of well-organised peace. For those who love knock-out competitions for giant-killings, it has offered up treat after treat.

After four-time champions Italy failed to qualify, four-time and current champions Germany finished bottom of their group, whilst Spain, Argentina and Portugal were equally limp and soon joined them at home. The games and groups were as close as they’ve ever been, and there was a sense that any team could progress. Even England made it to the semi final.

Free for all?

But the champions going out in the group stage shouldn’t surprise us any more. It was surprising in 2002, when previous winners France finished bottom of their group with just the single point. It was surprising in 2010, when both Italy and France were bottom of their groups after reaching the final last time out. It was surprising in 2014, when the 2010 champions Spain... also went out in the group stage.

With Germany this year, that’s four of the last five champions falling at the first hurdle in the defence of their title. We should be used to it by now. It’s a little odd, but perhaps not quite as surprising as it seems at first glance. National sides seem to run on a cycle: they build a team, see them grow together, and then the stars retire and the team has to be built again. The team’s ability increases as they age, and they tend to win something at their peak before a sharp decline or international retirement.

The same thing happens in clubs, we just tend to see more gradual change because they compete annually, whereas the World Cup is only every 4 years: in that time, the core of players at their prime will likely have moved on, leaving the side in what club managers would call a ‘transitional period’. Why do we assume they will still be just as good with largely different personnel?

Then there are other factors. Look at the Premier League: none of the champions of the last 10 seasons have yet managed to defend their title the following year, despite many of them winning by good margins. Man United followed their triumph in 2013, the end of the Sir Alex Ferguson era, with a 7th place finish the next year, whilst the last three seasons have seen reigning champions finish 10th (Chelsea), 12th (Leicester), and 5th (Chelsea).

Great managers can retire after a triumph along with their star players, leaving the squad in transition, but others can stay on and grow complacent. Contrast Ferguson with Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal. Managers can remain too loyal to the players who have helped them win before, reluctant to show the ingratitude of dropping them, even when they are no longer fit for purpose: a mistake made by Joachim Low for Germany this year. The same happens with tactics, not wanting to change a winning formula even as it ceases to win, as the game moves on and opponents adapt, a flaw now shown by Spain.

Success can bring complacency, loyalty, a loss of judgement, a lack of hunger, stagnation. None of that goes against what we know and regularly observe to be the case in club football and in tournaments gone by, so it’s hardly that exciting here. As for the other major scalps, remember that South Africa 2010 (Italy and France in their groups, Brazil and Argentina in the next round) and Brazil 2014 (Spain, Portugal, Italy, England in their groups, Uruguay in the next round) can claim at least as many.

The one thing that makes Russa 2018 stand out is that most of the big sides were assigned to one side of the knockout draw, giving a chance for some fresh faces to progress... but saying there were no past winners in 3 of the first round games and one quarter final is hardly incredible. The exact same could be said for 2014, and in 2010 we had no past winners in 4 first round games, one quarter final... and the final itself.

Besides, whilst everyone loves the romance of an underdog it’s also good to see the big names fight it out. One of the most entertaining group games was Spain’s draw with Portugal, not Iran’s narrow win over Morocco the same day. The best game in the first knockout round was France against Argentina, not Sweden against Switzerland. It’s fun to see creative talents letting loose, not compact, careful units grinding out results through doggedness. The latter are heartening to see, but they don’t make for brilliant entertainment.

On a similar note, it would have been nice to see some teams from outside Europe make it to the later stages: it’s supposed to be the World Cup, a colourful mixture of all sorts of teams, not a repeat of the European Championship. Some people have complained that this is because UEFA get a disproportionate share of the qualifying places (14 of 32), but that’s nonsense: 12 of the 18 qualifying non-European sides went out in the group stage, so lowering the bar further would just introduce even more sub-par teams, not a semi-finalist. It would just have been nice if one of the 18 had made it.

Free flowing?

The football has been more unusual than the cast. The number of goals has been cited, but whilst it leaves boring 2010 in the dust it’s still behind Brazil 2014. It’s also true that not all goals are equal, and this tournament has set records for the most own goals and the most penalties, helped by the controversial introduction of VAR which overshadowed much of the group stages.

This World Cup has trailed the previous five in shots on goal, but had more inside the box, more own goals, more goals from penalties, more goals from set pieces, more goals after 90 minutes (dramatic, but following one and a half hours of nothingness). That means that whilst we’ve seen a decent number of goals, we’ve seen a lower number of decent goals. It’s had the lowest proportion of intentional goals scored in open play during normal time, and still fewer than 2014 overall.

That tournament set the tone with Netherlands 5-1 Spain, a dramatic reversal of the previous final in a first round of matches which also saw Germany 4-0 Portugal, and culminated in Germany 7-1 Brazil. In the 2014 group stages we saw seven teams put 4 goals past an opponent; this year it only happened three times. Russia 2018′s tone wasn’t set by the hosts’ opening trouncing of Saudi Arabia, the worst team in the tournament, but by the next two games: 1-0 victories won in the 89th and 95th minute, the latter with an own goal.

Another of this tournament’s boasts was that it had the longest run of games before the first 0-0, but that was only because so many equally tight, closed defensive matches were settled by a late tap-in or penalty instead. We saw four fewer goalless draws than 2014, but five more games with just a single goal, and fewer goals overall. It’s effectively a choice between a 4-0 and a 0-0 or two scrappy 1-0s.

The games have been the tightest I remember, which is a good thing in its own way, but entertaining football over 90 minutes has been rare in matches between mostly cautious, defensive teams. One good stat is that this is the first ever World Cup where every team has scored at least two goals across their games, but fewer teams than before have scored two, three, four goals in a game. More egalitarian, but less fun.

Coming home?

Moving on from the objective quality of the tournament itself, we come to the subjective success of the England national team, one reason many fans here will have enjoyed Russia 2018 more than the early exits of tournaments past. England massively surpassed expectations in reaching the semi finals, and narrowly losing it in extra time after taking an early lead. It’s hard to be disappointed with that: they haven’t always played that well, and getting to the final would have been even more of an overachievement.

But have they really done that well? On the one hand, they've gone further than anyone expected, further than they have in ages, but on the other, they've only beaten Tunisia, Panama, Colombia, and Sweden, all ranked lower than them, and lost to the two good sides they've faced (Croatia once and Belgium twice). Should we be proud of that?

In a way, going out to Croatia in the semi finals is more embarrassing than losing to Italy and Uruguay in the group of death last time, or being thrashed by a much superior German side in 2010. It happened later on in the tournament, but still to a side who England fans would only ever see as an equal, if even that, whereas previously they have gone out with honour against big teams who were always the favourite. This time they were favourites and still lost.

Since 1970, England have been knocked out of major tournaments as follows:

1970 - Germany 1986 - Argentina 1990 - Germany (penalties) 1996 - Germany (penalties) 1998 - Argentina (penalties) 2002 - Brazil 2004 - Portugal (penalties) 2006 - Portugal (penalties) 2010 - Germany 2012 - Italy (penalties) 2016 - Iceland 2018 - Croatia

Is this semi final defeat not more similar to the defeat against Iceland, where England again went ahead in the first five minutes and were pegged back 2-1, than to the narrow, plucky penalty defeats against the best sides in the world that they used to be known for? All that’s changed is that it’s a couple of games later on: they’ve won two doable games, and then lost one. Is that better than winning one doable game and then losing a hard one? Is it even better than just losing a hard game straight away?

Those are the questions most pessimists and haters of the England team are asking. Is beating the likes of Tunisia and Panama an achievement? Is progress in a uniquely ‘easy’ half of the draw really something to be proud of? In short: yes. World Cups don’t have any ‘easy’ games. World Cups are hard. As mentioned above, just ask four out of the five last champions.

This year Germany, Brazil, Spain, Portugal, and Argentina all went out after failing to win the 'easy' games against South Korea, Mexico, Switzerland, Iran, Morocco, Russia, and Iceland in their groups and the first knockout round. England got the job done. Past England teams have always failed to win the 'easy' games. This side got the job done. They’ve only won the games they were expected to, but that in itself was unexpected. They’ve been exceptional, not in performing beyond their normal abilities, but in simply showing the abilities we all knew should be there.

Much was made of a first knockout win in years, even without the added rarity of a successful penalty shootout, but the real change started in the group stage. Whilst it’s true that England have usually fallen short in the early knockout stages, often that’s because they’ve limped out of their group and drawn a much better, more experienced side. The list above makes that clear enough: England have usually been dispatched by a better team, their comparative lack of progress to this year more to do with the luck of the draw than their relative performances.

It’s similar to the derision around Arsenal going out of the Champions League in the first round every year: it’s a shortcoming, but it’s also usually a result of being drawn against Bayern Munich or Barcelona, teams who they would never be expected to beat, whilst their rivals progress against much lesser sides. They aren’t awful at knockout games: they just tend to play teams who are incredible at them. There’s no shame in losing to them, whether you meet them then or in the semi final.

The shame usually came earlier, when Arsenal lost to teams like Olympiacos in the group (bizarrely, it was actually Olympiacos for four years in short succession) and scraped through in second place with no momentum to be drawn against the team who’d topped the next group on. The shame was in losing to the minnows to draw a giant, not in losing to the giant, so the idea that they had a problem with the knockout stages themselves was ill-founded.

The same has tended to be true with England. Before this World Cup, their last seven group games featured defeats to Italy and Uruguay, draws with Sweden, USA, Algeria and Costa Rica, and a solitary victory against Slovenia. Losing to Iceland in 2016 was an embarrassment, but so was failing to beat Russia or Slovakia in the group and finishing second to Wales. The idea that England had some specific issue with knockout games is nonsense. They struggled in the group first.

That’s why this World Cup was a success for England, not only when they beat Colombia, but from the moment they held on against that rough Tunisia team. In any other year they would have faltered to a draw, and then carried that nervousness on into the next game, rather than thrashing Panama as they did. The opposition wasn’t great, but it wasn’t any worse than it usually is, and it wasn’t worse than in the other groups where big teams struggled.

I don’t accept the idea that they played particularly well: they lacked creativity throughout, and relied on set pieces for most of their goals. They looked very open on the counter, and were mostly fortunate for their opponents’ poor finishing (and some goalkeeping heroics from Jordan Pickford) to not concede more. They had a tendency to try to see out games, making negative substitutions and passing backwards, which only gave the other team a way back into them.

Some players impressed, and others grew into the tournament, but as a team they weren’t as good as some of the hype would suggest. Even Harry Kane, returning with the Golden Boot and a hat-trick match ball from the Panama game (meaning that at least one football’s coming home), went missing shortly after then. Perhaps he realised it was almost August.

His telling stat was that he’d scored his 6 goals from almost as many shots, which was stated as if it was something impressive when in reality it’s anything but. Three of those shots were penalties which, although he took them perfectly, were given to him to score. His hat-trick goal after two of them was a deflection he knew nothing about. That means he otherwise didn’t manage more than one shot per game. In open play, England as a whole had the fewest shots on target of any team but Iran.

Special mention has to go to Kieran Trippier, who created the most chances of any player in the tournament, but that just highlights that the attacking players failed to put them away. He, with fellow defenders John Stones and Harry Maguire, who grew into the tournament impressively after a shaky start, managed two more goals than Raheem Sterling, Dele Alli, Jesse Lingard, Jamie Vardy, Marcus Rashford, Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Danny Welbeck combined.

Coming of age?

The final statistic about England, heard often in the build up and even more now they’ve gone out, is that they had the youngest, least internationally experienced squad in the tournament. In this latter context, it is said to show how much fans have to look forward to: if they could get to the semi finals at this age, how well will they do when they’ve reached their prime, with England’s successful youth teams grown to join them?

I’ve written before about the common fallacy that players peak later in their careers, when in reality they often fade after their ‘potential’ has been hyped up because they actually peaked whilst young. I’ve also written about the equally flawed hope that success at youth level spells success at senior level later down the line: it’s true that England’s young sides have been doing exceptionally well (in 2017 they won the U20 World Cup, U17 World Cup, U21 Toulon Tournament and the U19 Euros, came second in the U17 Euros and third in the U21 Euros), but previous youth stars have failed to develop as adults or not been given the opportunities to do so.

But it is my write up of England’s opening match of Brazil 2014, a defeat to Italy, that I quote from now. Although they lost, I spoke of the promising signs shown by one of the youngest, least internationally experienced teams in the tournament. “Whilst we’re in a transitional stage now, England show a lot of attacking promise for the future,” I wrote, a fool. With young talents Sterling and Ross Barkley impressing, and “Sturridge, Henderson, Welbeck, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Wilshere all also under 25 but matching the world’s best, we should be in great shape for Russia 2018.”

Also giving hope were Luke Shaw (18), Chris Smalling (24), Phil Jones (22), and Adam Lallana (26). Where is that roll-call now? Of those 12 players, only four actually made the squad for Russia 2016, when they would supposedly be hitting their prime, and only two as more than squad players. Sturridge is no longer “continuing to transfer his excellent club form to the global stage”, having lost fitness and form soon afterwards and now barely getting a club game, just like the exciting Barkley, Welbeck, Wilshere, and Shaw.

When I hear fans echoing me now, “this year [wasn’t] our year, but the next two competitions just might be”, I can’t help but think of whether I will be saying the same in 2022, when this squad of players with an average age of 26 have an average age of 30. No doubt those north of that will be jettisoned, including those who have impressed the most: Trippier, Henderson, and all of the left backs, amongst others. Will the team be stronger then?

I suspect many of the young prospects will be forgotten, stagnated like those who came before: will we still remember who Trent Alexander-Arnold was, brought along to give him some experience for the future, just like I wrote would be a good thing for Luke Shaw? Will a 28-year-old John Stones still sit on City’s bench, forgotten? Will Marcus Rashford still be failing to force his way into United’s starting team, the Danny Welbeck of his generation?

Worst of all, they might just be replaced by even younger models, the latest bright prospects to emerge and show flashes of promise. Why bring these 27-year-olds who never really made it when you can give experience to a 23-year-old who might? Then in four years time, when they don’t live up to the hype you’ve given them, you just do the exact same thing again.

You don’t follow the cycle I described above, where teams are left to grow together. Instead you remain permanently in the ‘transitional’ phase, always replacing actual with potential, never winning anything but always leaving hope for Next Time, when these players are older and experienced... but actually replacing them with the next batch of empty promises, and getting praised for it, praised for building with an eye an imaginary future. Just like you were praised for it four years ago.

We’ll see.

Finally...

England conceded both the latest winning goal in terms of playing time (109 minutes against Croatia) and the latest goal in terms of a player’s life (Panama’s only scorer was 37 years old).

They scored the most goals in a single game, but also faced the joint-most clean sheets and suffered the joint-most defeats (although the third place play-off is to blame for that).

They were the only side to select players only from their domestic league, but then the English league system provided the most players overall.

A positive is their discipline: they had the sixth fewest yellow or red cards per match, despite the game against Colombia seeing the joint most. They also kept their cool against a rough Croatia, who saw the most cards of any team. Of that, at least, we can be proud.

#World Cup #Russia #England #football

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barbosaasouza · 6 years

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Hearthstone - Analyzing the Upcoming Update 11.2 Nerfs and Changes

With the HCT Summer Playoffs currently going down, Hearthstone players shouldn't expect to see the latest round of card balance changes for another week or so. But what exactly are these changes? Blizzard has at least answered that question for the upcoming Update 11.2 on the Hearthstone website, revealing the next batch of cards set to be balanced, following the adjustments made to the rhyming Shudderwock.

Shacknews is taking a look at the cards affected and is here to do a deeper dive analysis on what this means for Hearthstone going forward.

Naga Sea Witch

Class: Neutral Will cost 8 mana. (Up from 5) (Wild) Meta Impact: Moderate

Blizzard explanation: In update 9.1, we introduced a rule change to increase the consistency of Hearthstone game mechanics. The change affected precisely when Naga Sea Witch’s cost change was applied to cards. This allowed it to be combined with the cost reduction effects on giants, and as a result, it became fairly easy to reduce their mana cost to 0.

We think Hearthstone is better all around when interactions are consistent, and we like the fact that a Naga Sea Witch giants deck archetype exists. That said, we also understand that, with its current functionality, this deck can generate early board states that are unreasonable for most classes to deal with. By increasing the cost of Naga Sea Witch to 8 mana, the deck’s concept remains intact, but the combo is delayed until later in a match when more decks are likely to have the tools to handle the arrival of so many giants.

Shacknews analysis: Naga Sea Witch's interactions after Update 9.1 was the result of a happy accident. With interactions getting adjusted, it means that Naga Sea Witch would adjust all card costs to (5) before any further card discounts were accounted for. What that meant was a lot of free Giants on Turn 5.

And there are a lot of Giants in Wild. It's entirely possible to drop Mountain Giant, Sea Giant, Clockwork Giant, and Molten Giant all on Turn 5. Barring something crazy, like a Priest Lightbomb, such a play could end the game almost immediately.

Because that play has such game-swinging potential, a Naga Sea Witch nerf to 8 mana sounds perfectly fair. Creative decks might even be able to find other ways to make this work, like somehow getting Silver Vanguard in on the party. I'd expect Naga Sea Witch to see less play from those looking for a quick win, but the deck is still effective and should still see action.

Spiteful Summoner

Class: Neutral Will cost 7 mana. (Up from 6) Meta Impact: High

Blizzard explanation: After set rotation arrived with the Year of the Raven, Spiteful Summoner became more powerful and consistent when used in decks containing 10 mana cost spells. This is because the pool of 10 mana cost minions in Standard is smaller, so players could more reliably count on getting a powerful minion from Spiteful Summoner’s effect. Even considering the deckbuilding sacrifices that an effective Spiteful Summoner deck requires, we think that increasing the card’s mana cost to 7 is more in line with the powerful outcomes that are possible when it’s used alongside cards like Ultimate Infestation.

Shacknews analysis: The nerf to Spiteful Summoner comes specifically with Druid players in mind, as they've (further) exploited the insane power of Ultimate Infestation. The theory here appears to be that a Turn 7 Spiteful Summoner gives opposing players more of a chance to come up with answers, which is possible. Counters are plentiful with Equality, Vanish, and Psychic Scream among the spells seeing a lot of play in the current meta.

One side effect of this nerf to watch out for is that it will further encourage players to go all-or-nothing on their Spiteful decks. At 6 mana, even a lower-cost spell could offer up some decent value. At 7 mana, the cumulative value starts to feel a little diminished. So look for Spiteful players to double down on making the most out of their Spiteful Summoners. Some Priest players have already been dumping Free From Amber and just packing their decks solely with the 10-mana Mind Control. I'm expecting that number to increase.

Dark Pact

Class: Warlock Will restore 4 Health. (Down from 8) Meta Impact: Moderate

Blizzard explanation: There are two aspects of Dark Pact that make it powerful. At a cost of 1 mana, it’s easily used alongside cards like Carnivorous Cube, Possessed Lackey, and Spiritsinger Umbra for big combo turns. It also gives Warlocks enough healing potential so that aggressively using Lifetap and playing cards like Kobold Librarian and Hellfire feel less consequential. We left Dark Pact’s cost intact so it can still be used as part of interesting combos, but lessened the healing it provides so Warlocks will need to more carefully consider how much damage they take over the course of a match.

Shacknews analysis: Here's the thing about Dark Pact. While the health benefit is nice, a lot of Warlock players were playing it because of that. They were playing it because at a paltry 1 mana, they could use it on their Carnivorous Cube and flood the board with Doomguards. This does nothing to stop that.

The silver lining for Cubelock haters is that this makes Warlocks more susceptible to aggro decks. Odd and Even Paladins, Aggro Mages, Odd Rogues, and Odd Hunters have a slightly better chance against this deck. But a vast majority of the elements that make Cubelock work are still intact. This doesn't break the deck, so much as it slightly gilds the edge on one of the cards.

And speaking of gilded edges...

Possessed Lackey

Class: Warlock Will cost 6 mana. (Up from 5) Meta Impact: Moderate

Blizzard explanation: Some of the card combos involving Possessed Lackey present situations that are too difficult to deal with in the early-to-mid stages of the game. Increasing its mana cost to 6 delays some of those powerful card combos to turns that are easier for opposing decks to overcome.

Shacknews analysis: While that explanation from Blizzard seems sound on paper, again, it doesn't so much bring Cubelock down to earth, as much as it mildly inconveniences it. This simply opens the door on Turn 5 to just play Skull of the Man'ari and pull that Demon from hand, rather than deck. Possessed Lackey will still be a powerful tool, albeit one that will now be played later. After all, Turn 7 Possessed Lackey + Dark Pact is still a high value play if it Recruits a 9-cost Voidlord.

So if anyone was looking for this to be the patch that stops the Cubelock insanity... well... I'm sorry. Better luck next expansion.

Call to Arms

Class: Paladin Will cost 5 mana. (Up from 4) Meta Impact: High

Blizzard explanation: Currently, there are three popular Paladin decks: Even Paladin, Murloc Paladin, and Odd Paladin. Among the three decks, Even Paladin and Murloc Paladin have consistently been the most powerful two archetypes over the first few weeks since the release of The Witchwood. Call to Arms moving to 5 mana restricts it from being used in Even decks and reduces its power somewhat when used in Murloc and other Paladin decks.

We expect that players will experiment with Call to Arms at 5 mana in Odd Paladin decks, but we don't expect this card to have much of an impact. This is because Odd Paladin can't access 2 mana minions (meaning Call to Arms could only ever summon three 1 mana minions if played in that deck).

Shacknews analysis: This should stop the Even Paladin almost in its tracks, just because of how quickly Call to Arms can flood the board. But in the Even Paladin deck, using Call to Arms is about more than board presence. It's about upping the odds to draw killer spells that should end the game, like the Equality/Avenging Wrath combo. For Even Paladin players, having Call to Arms was the best way to make up for losing Divine Favor, in terms of reliable ways to dig through their deck.

So one would think that this would now benefit the Odd Paladin, right? Well... not quite. Three 1-mana minions for 5 mana isn't what I'd call grea, even if those minions wind up being Righteous Protector, Argent Squire, and Dire Mole. It might work as a combo play with Sword of Justice, but other than that, I can't see Call to Arms making a big splash in Odd Paladin decks.

Call to Arms is still an immensely useful card and can even set the table nicely for a Turn 6 Sunkeeper Tarim. But say goodbye to this one, Even Paladins. And Odd Paladins, you're welcome to use this at your own risk. Murloc Paladins? Hey, if you're still running a Murloc Paladin, Call to Arms should still serve you well.

The Caverns Below

Class: Rogue The quest reward, Crystal Core, will read: For the rest of the game, your minions at 4/4. (Down from 5/5) Meta Impact: High

Blizzard explanation: The Quest Rogue deck uses a strategy that’s strong against slow, control-heavy and fatigue decks, but struggles against most other deck archetypes. There's a fine line between being powerful against very slow decks and being powerful versus virtually all non-aggressive strategies. By changing the quest reward to make the resulting minions 4/4 instead of 5/5, Quest Rogue should still be a reasonable option versus slow, extreme late-game decks, but offer a less polarized matchup with more moderate control decks.

Shacknews explanation: There have been few, if any, counters for the Quest Rogue on the Ranked Ladder. Given the tools that the Quest Rogue lost in the Standard shift, it's mind-blowing to think this is the case. But sometime around the Standard change, somebody figured out that Sonya Shadowdancer in a Quest deck is borderline broken. She makes completing the Quest much easier. Beyond that, she makes it easy to trade 5/5 1-cost minions in and keep getting more and more of them for your deck.

So then does the quest reward change really impact the Quest Rogue that much? I will say that it should reduce the number of one-turn kills. Simple math dictates that it takes six 5/5 Southsea Deckhands/Stonetusk Boars to OTK a full 30-health hero, while it'll take eight 4/4 minions to OTK that same hero. So just the lessened number of one-turn kills makes this change feel a lot more fair.

Does it kill the Quest Rogue? Absolutely not. As mentioned, good Quest Rogue players who can manage their Sonya Shadowdancer effectively should still be able to rack up a high win rate on the ladder. Even if there are more counters to a board full of 4/4s, like Flamestrike and Auchenai Soulpriest/Circle of Healing, having access to those 4/4 Charge minions is still nothing to sneeze at. Quest Rogue should still a lot of play and a lot of success in the meta going forward.

What are your thoughts on these changes? Join the conversation and let us know how this upcoming patch is going to affect your decks moving forward. Look for Hearthstone's Update 11.2 to arrive sometime next week, following this weekend's HCT Asia-Pacific Summer Playoffs.

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