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[pictureworthcustomframing]

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[calware]

would you ever share a list of your fave fics to reread ? Id love to hear your recommendations and faves

sure thing :) i'm only going to list works that have been going on for a while (or at least have gotten past the very beginning of the story) and that i've read all the way through. i'm also not going to list any of the super iconic fics i like because this list is already pretty long. these are all based on stuff that i personally find more interesting to read about, mostly focused on the human characters and not a lot of romance

i don't really know if these first two count but they're too good to not include:

Jade Route by spicyyeti

a post-epilogues comic centering around jade, this is my favorite homestuck fanwork. i especially love the artwork and the way it frames the story. it is reaaallllly hard to read it on a phone so make sure to read it on a computer or tablet

House of Dirk by imarriedacherub no rating - graphic depictions of violence - 13,570 words - 20 chapters (unfinished) A sitcom about completely normal and well-adjusted newlyweds Dirk and Caliborn attempting to make a good impression on their son, Dave, and his boyfriend, Karkat.

another comic, this one hosted on both ao3 and mspfa (though the ao3 version has more pages). i like how ridiculous it is. will probably never be finished, sadly

moving on to the actual fics:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. sadly, this one barely touches on jane and jake, but it's pretty interesting to read about what dirk and roxy are getting up to with their guardians (and the earth) restored to their previous conditions

The Haunted Harley House by hemoanarchists teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 78,462 words - 23 chapters (finished) There is an old house you built a long long time ago, alongside someone very close to you. Now as you don a new name, slipping back into society to care for a descendant, to whom tragedy has left you as her only family left, you take her to the house, the house that bears your family name. You really shouldn't have been surprised when he came to join you. It is his house too, after all.

carlah, a young girl who lives on earth c, has just been taken in by her uncle "jacob harley" after her mother's death. as time goes on, she slowly learns more about the true nature of her new guardians and the house they all live in. normally i'm not that interested in OCs but i love how intriguing carlah is as an outsider of the story. it's really easy to get invested in her as she uncovers a mystery we all know from the beginning and another that we have to learn along with her. shoutout to dysfunctional family dynamics

actually, while i'm at it, i'm going to recommend a bunch of other stuff he's written:

Atlantis Bound teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 33,263 words - 8 chapters (unfinished) Dirk tracks down an old friend

prequel to the haunted harley house but can also be read after (or separately). i really like the dynamic between dirk and vriska here, and i also love the way vriska's repeated reincarnation is utilized. vriska's journey through the newest iteration of her life while dirk watches over her is soooo captivating, especially when snippets of her previous lives are sprinkled in throughout. do you guys love cycles? personally i love cycles

Cherubian mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 54,011 words - 29 chapters (unfinished) The 5000 year time skip never happened, at the dawn of time the gods desperately try to guide the planet into a better future. But with tensions rising it feels like one bad day could bring everything crumbling down.

all of dante's earth-c god fics as a whole changed my brain chemistry and this acts as the beginning (and catalyst) of that overarching story. a lot happens in a very short amount of time

Transitional teen - no warnings apply - 1,860 words - oneshot a simple question what changed when you went godtier?

super simple but also an interesting exploration of the headcanon that players' bodies change when they go godtier. the twist is that each "change" is unique to each character and relates to their Self in some way

Monster under the bed teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,573 words - oneshot Skeletons in the Closet mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,910 words - oneshot Small Talk teen - no warnings apply - 8,944 words - 6 chapters (unfinished)

putting all three of these together because i believe(?) they're all part of the same narrative

[desswright29]

Fell Together

Word Count: 11k + (I-I don’t know)

Pairing: Shuri X reader

Contains: Fluff, Romance, Slight Angst(nothing major), Friends to lovers, Smut, slightly inexperienced Shuri, Masc/Sub Shuri, Fem reader.

A/n: Hey guys! I HOPE Y’ALL FEEL LIKE READING!! 😁 So someone asked me once if I would write Sub Shuri and Uhhhh yea I would apparently lol. I just wanted to write a sweet love story because I haven’t wrote one in awhile. And we need one. I REEEEEAAALLLYYY hope y’all enjoy this one. It really beat me tf up! Anywho! Enjoy! And if their are errors blame @imjusthere2readbruv. She was rushing me 🤣🤣🤣

On lawns, we laughed, we played Sweet smiles along the way Under stars we gazed Under moons, memories made Good times, some sad, on lawns

Two hearts, a warm embrace And our love has grown each day And in time, we see that life is a dream A dream that holds two hearts

The water lay still. Placid. A blanket of stars twinkled amongst the otherwise black moonless sky. A soft plop and a light ripple of waves could be heard as Shuri tossed a small rock into the lake, while sitting knees to chest at its edge. With a slow inhale she closed her eyes, letting out it’s counterpart, a shallow exhale, soon after. Her eyes fluttered open, staring into the black abyss. A deep gaping hole filled with a liquid that could take away and also give life. Complicated, yet sincere in its danger; simple in its necessity. That only scratched the surface of things Shuri had in common with the water. With all that had transpired within it, it still created a calm within her. That alone gave her a sense of pride.  She’d conquered the water. But now… she was exhausted.

Although she was at her physical peak. Mentally, she could be better. After the death of her mother desperate for company she attached herself to the first woman that gave her any type of attention. Her first real girlfriend. Solah. The woman was gorgeous. Her body perfectly proportionate. Skin speckled in gold. Her face was almost as sculpted as Shuri’s. She kept her hair beautifully braided, and she was always dressed to perfection. It was also painfully apparent that she didn’t genuinely like women. Status though. That was definitely her speed. Shuri found herself always at her highest level of masculinity now a days. Ruler, scientist, Black Panther. All suits and ties. And in the bedroom she was the giver. 

Today she decided to leave Solah behind. Left her sitting at the best table of one of the finest restaurants in Wakanda, after coming from the restroom finding her slipping her number to the chef of all people. And so she found herself by the water. Just wanting to feel human again. She was more than a superhuman, Queen with no feelings. She wanted to feel like a Woman. Her eyes shut again, her chin falling against her chest. As she wrapped her arms around her legs in a hug. “Bast. I’m tired. I need some sort of reprieve.” She spoke aloud not sure if anyone heard her words, but hopeful nonetheless. The chiming of her beads cut through the silence like a spear. “Panther, y/n y/l/n is trying to contact you.” The recently rare sound of her best friends name brought a slight curve to the side of her mouth before her face slightly scrunched in confusion. She willed Griot to answer. 

Your face lit up the darkness. Wild curls framing your pretty face and settling onto your shoulders. Glasses perched at the tip of your cute nose. Your face scrunched in a squint. A breath of fresh air. It was good to see you. “Hey Shu shu! Where you at? I can barely see you.” Still slightly taken aback that you reached out to her at this moment she answered slightly stumbling over her words. 

“I-I’m at t-the lake.” Your face relaxed only for a moment before your brows immediately raise in an expression of worry.

“What happened?” You still knew her like the back of your hand. Of course you did. No one knew Shuri quite like you.

“Does something really have to be wrong everytime I’m here?” Shuri asks . She’d never let you know you were right straight away. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow it. Your lips turned down as you feign a look of contemplation before nodding. “Absolutely.” Shuri rolled her eyes before letting out a dramatic sigh.

“I broke up with Solah.”

The other end of the call got extremly quiet. You stared at the shadow of Shuri through the projection. Stuck. Expression unreadable. You wracked your brain trying to find the proper words to console your friend, but before you could, as always she read you like a book.

“Let it out y/n.” Shuri huffs  

You let out a long exhale. “Pheew, good lookin’ out man I was summoning all the acting gods from every realm to come help me pretend to be upset about that shit.” Shuri stared at you her expression blank.

“I-I don’t understand why we’re friends.” 

“Eeeasy! See number one I’m honest. Always give it to ya straight no chaser. Im funny as fuck, let’s seeeee smart, can’t forget that one, aaand I’m pretty cute.” You look over top of your glasses and flutter your lashes for dramatic effect. Shuri twists her mouth in faux disgust.

 “Naaaah…Still not getting it?”

“Well maybe it’s because you’ve been a little less than a friend lately Shuri. But usually all those things combine into one and create that deep rooted love you have for me. Duh.” Shuri chuckles lightly, picking up a rock rolling it inbetween her fingers. Staring off into the distance.

“I had that one coming.”

“Yes you did…But really, are you ok?” She shruggs, nonchalant.

“I always figure it out. Glad you called honestly.” Your bottom lip curls inbetween your teeth. As ecstatic as you were that Shuri left “Soda” or whatever the fuck she wanted to call herself behind. And though majorly perturbed by Shuri’s behavior while with her, you’d never want to see her hurt.

“Why don’t you come over. We got a lot to catch up on and you look like you can use some company. Do Queens get to have girls nights? I’ll even bring out the good wine and an expensive ass charcuterie for just for you your highness.” Shuri scoffs. “Make it Rum and Jollof and I’m there.” The corners of your lips almost reached your ears with the smile that spread across your face.

“That Shuri..That right there is why we’re friends.” 

“Yo! I’m home!” Shuri announced chuckling to herself shuffling into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind her, arms filled with bags. An overnight bag hanging from her shoulder, grocery bags filled with snacks in her arms. Her eyes scanned your apartment a faint smile appearing on her face. Dropping her overnight bag to the floor with a thud, she kicked off her shoes at the door. The energy in your home was always so warm and inviting, always putting her at peace. Photos of your family hang on the walls, several of you and her as well. She’d always been like family to you and you to her. A pang of guilt hit her chest as the fond memories welcomed her like a hug. The definition of bitter sweet. 

When Shuri left the lake she decided to pick up a few snacks, and took time to shower and change out of her clothes from her miserable date. Opting for grey sweats, a white t-shirt, a black jacket with a grey hood attached, and a black fitted cap, covering her braids. The padding of feet coming toward her from the direction of the kitchen interrupted her thoughts. You appeared wearing a large graphic tee, the back tucked into your bra and the smallest shorts you could find. A smug smile covered your face as you walked over to greet her. It’d been almost a year and something was different. Shuri noticed her heart skip a few beats. She had always seen you as a beautiful girl, but had you always been THIS beautiful. You held a glass filled with a dark liquid and one round ice cube. As you approached her one hand reached for the groceries, the other extended the cup of alcohol to her. Shuri gave a grateful lopsided smile, taking two steps forward handing off the groceries and taking the drink. 

Muscle memory took over as she quickly brought the bottom of the cup up to her mouth, licking the cup from bottom to top chugging the contents with a hiss. A routine you’d started when you began college in Wakanda. Whenever one of you had a rough day you’d meet at the others place and take a shot immediately upon arrival to destress. You smirk with a raise of your brow. “Okay, I see you Queen Panther.” Impressed, guessing the herb assisted her in handling her alcohol a bit better. “I’m not new to this little one.” She responded with a sly smirk that was, dare you say, kind of sexy. When did that happen? Sitting the groceries on the floor you wrap her up into your arms. Hugging her waist as she wraps her arms around your shoulders resting her chin on top of your head after placing a sweet kiss where her chin would rest. Both of your eyes closed as you began to rock while holding one another. “I’ve missed you tattoo.” You grin at the nickname you hadn’t heard in almost a year. 

“I missed you too Shuri.” Finally you pull away taking the empty glass except for ice from her hand. You look her dead in the eyes. Making sure you’re warning is heeded. “Don’t you ever leave me hanging for ANY bitch. Ever again.” You pick up the bags and turn heading back towards the kitchen. Shuri’s eyes trailed the length of your body eyes stopping at the swell of your back. The tiny shorts you wore barely containing your plump cheeks. Shuri found her lip in between her teeth as she appreciated the view, before correcting herself with a shake of the head “I promise.” She calls behind you as she heads into the living room. Shuri plopped down onto the couch manspread her head falling back, eyes closing. Though it had been awhile since you’d both physically seen each other due to her new titles and her insecure ass ex, it felt as though no time was spent apart. Easily falling back into your easy comfort around one another. The two of you never had to do much to have fun. 

 Your mother had been a pop sensation, back in the days, and Queen Ramonda had been a huge fan. In fact you and Shuri met as young girls around 11, when Shuri took her first trip to America with her mother to attend one of your mothers shows. Romanda requested to meet your mother after the show, and she graciously accepted, when they made it back stage there was little genius, arrogant Shuri. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, curious about every detail of her surroundings. As your mothers gushed over one another back stage, you watched the curious Princess wander around, in her mini skirt with her graphic T-shirt tucked in, chains gracing her waist as a belt, a black leather jacket and matching gloves with the fingers cut off, her braids stacked high onto of her head. She was the coolest person you’d ever seen and she was giving the scary looking bald women hell. You continued peering at her from the slightly cracked door of your mothers dressing room.

“Shuri. Stop touching things. You cannot tinker with things here the way you do at home in your little lab.” The one you would soon know to be Okoye chastised. “Okoye, you’ve got to loosen up. Are you not tired of yelling in vain? Obviously I’m going to continue what I’m doing when you’re not looking.” Your giggle caught Shuri’s attention, her confident upright stride immediately headed in your direction. “I heard you, you might as well open the door.” Slowly you opened the door coming face to face with the Princess of Wakanda. Who gave you a hard once over before introducing herself. “Hello, I’m Shuri.” She held out her hand for you to shake and you reciprocate. “Y/n.” You spoke matter of factly. Posture just as upright as the royals. You returned her a once over. Admittedly she was even prettier up close. “You’re the Princess?” 

“Yes I am.” She stated proudly. 

“You don’t look like a Princess.” Shuri cocked her head to the side brow raised in a question, waiting for you to proceed. “I mean your pretty but you don’t dress like a Princess.”

“Did you expect a ball gown?” Shuri said sarcastically, lips upturned in an obnoxiously arrogant smirk. You smiled back genuinely. 

“You’re an asshole. I like it.”

And the rest was history.

Your mothers became fast friends just as you and Shuri. As you both grew older everyone instantly saw the chemistry between you and Shuri, determined that you would be more than friends especially once you came out. Shuri never came out officially. She’d always gave lesbian and everyone just went with it and accepted her. You envied that about her. Oddly enough you grew to be more experienced than her romantically though. Contrary to popular belief, her title as princess didn’t exactly make dating easy. But Shuri grew to be your bestfriend easily with you and your mother spending ample time in Wakanda thanks to her friendship with the Queen. When T’Challa met you he fell head over heels. “I’ve never seen anyone more perfect for you little sister.” T’challa would always say to Shuri. She would always brush him off with an “Ew” or something along those lines. Neither of you had ever shown that type of interest in one another. You were too much alike, and both of you being rooted in logic knew that that didn’t usually work out. 

So, you spent your summers in Wakanda forming an inseparable bond with the Princess, and ended up deciding to go to college in Wakanda as well. You and Shuri had been by eachothers side every step of the way. She was the bestfriend you’d ever known, and both of you loved one another with all of your heart. You’d created your own life here in Wakanda and were excepted and loved by the community. And even though both you and Shuri were aware of eachothers attractiveness, you were perfectly content in your friendship. 

Resurfacing from the kitchen with another drink and the jerk chicken with Jollof you’d ordered for the night you heard light snores coming from Shuri’s mouth that was slightly ajar. “I just know this girl is not sleep.” You took the opportunity to get a good look at Shuri. Taking note of how much she’d changed since the last time you’d seen her. Her jaw was a bit more chiseled than you remembered, her neck showing signs of the muscle she’d packed on. From the interaction at your door, you’d become acutely aware of the change in her aura. Shuri had always carried a bit of an arrogant air. Her intellect and beauty had always been unmatched. Now, there was more of a maturity to her, growth, experience. It’d evened out her arrogance into a smooth confidence and wisdom. Though she carried a heavy load. She carried it well. You place her drink and food on your coffee table and walked back around behind your couch standing over her. You lifter her hat a bit before you pinch her nose. Her eyes snapped open as she choked on a deep inhale. “Are you really asleep. I was gone for like 2 minutes.”

“Why would you do that! Fucking weirdo!” She coughed while stretching both hands above her head until her body shook. “I was just resting my eyes.”

“You were snoring.”

“Well shit I’m tired y/n.” She said annoyed. You jump over the couch next to her and laugh.

“Atleast get comfortable and eat something before you fall asleep on me.” You suggest motioning to her hat and jacket. Shuri removed her hat. Revealing her fresh braids and then removed her jacket. Showing off her muscular arms and forearms, veins protruding. Swallowing, your eyes linger a bit longer than they should’ve. Shit. Your friend had grown. Shuri shook her head waking herself up. “Ok I’m up. I’m up.”

Now, full and on both of your third round of rum and coke of the night, you guys were back at your usual mischief and bickering. Shuri now lie against the armrest of the couch, with you lying back inbetween her legs while she massaged your scalp through your curls. “Greys Anatomy” playing on the television. 

“That is impossible! This is not medically accurate!” 

“Shuri! That’s not the point of the show. It’s about the relationships.”

“So why do they begin the show with these cases? Why not only focus on the relationships since they’re doing such a poor job with medicinal accuracy.” You turn your head awkwardly and look up at her as she stares down at you with her brows raised as though she’s waiting for an answer. “Give me the fucking remote. I hate watching shows with you.” You turn your body to try and reach behind her for the remote on the arm rest. Laughing she grabs it before you could, reaching it above her head tossing it between each hand as she giggled at your frustration. “Ugh! You make me so sick! Keep it!” She poked her lip out at you “Aww still a sore ass loser y/n? I thought you would grow out of that.”

“Let’s not act like I wouldn’t be handing you your ass if it wasn’t for that lil herb” Rolling your eyes you turn back around settling back into your position between her legs. Her hands finding themselves right back in your hair. She giggled at your temper tantrum. “Im enjoying the show y/n. I was just pointing out the obvious inconsistencies.” You close your eyes leaning back into her chest enjoying the sensation of her fingers. She smelled so good like a mixture of vanilla and mahagony. Strong, but not over powering. ��Mmmhmm, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you Shuri.” She chuckled as you both settle into a comfortable silence. “Shuri.”

“Hm?”  

“Are we pretending everything’s cool, or are you ready to talk about it?” Shuri’s fingers stalled for a second, a slow exhale escaping through her nose. “I’m really sorry I shut you out y/n. I didn’t intend to stay away for so long.   I was just… I don’t know ..afraid. You’re the last person on this Earth who truly knows me and everyone around me was leaving. I felt cursed or something. I couldn’t bare to loose you too. And Solah was jealous of our relationship anyway. Ironic I caught HER giving her number to the Chef” 

“What?!” You sit up, causing Shuri’s arms to fall to her belly as you turn to look at her. Shuri chuckles. “Yea. To be honest, I’m not surprised. And yes it sucks but I’m not as upset as I think I should be. There’s just so much going on. So many other responsibilities. It almost feels like a relief. In hindsight I probably jumped the gun on being in a relationship so soon after everything happened.” You raise a brow and tilt you head to the right. “Don’t start.” You lift your hands in defense. “I wasn’t even gonna say anything.”

She lifted her shirt a bit. A sliver of her her toned lower belly showing as she placed a hand inside of her sweats. “Maybe. But you were thinking it.” She says lightly flicking your chin with the pointer finger of her free hand. 

“Definitely a lot of thoughts.” You swallow and avert your eyes trying not to get caught staring and hoping Shuri didn’t catch the double meaning. She shakes her head with a slight smirk. Her free arm drapping across her abdomen as you rest your hands and chin on her raised knee. “You were right though.”

“Of course I was.” She rolled her eyes. Her eyes connected with yours and her lips nervously folded in as though she was contemplating saying something. “You can talk to me about anything Shuri. You know I always know when something is up with you.” She began shifting her eyes. “I’m tired y/n, this is all so much more than I was expecting to have to deal with. The weight of it all. It’s overbearing. I  mean I spent some time in Hiati, but duty called and I still feel as though I didn’t get time to heal properly. So much responsibility. I guess I just hoped that my relationship would take up some of this empty space in my heart. I know you were hurting too and we could’ve been there for one another but it hurt to be around you really. It was a reminder that you’re really all I have left.” You nod and grab her hand, squeezing it, waiting for her to continue giving her your undivided attention. “Since I took on the mantle and the throne it’s like I’m not human anymore. I’m always expected to be on point. Always prepared. Almost stoic. It’s exhausting. And Solah was like another responsibility. I didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t important. So when I should’ve been resting I was taking her on trips, or shopping, or out to eat. And then All the counsel meetings, trainings, keeping up the lab. It’s all.. just.. a lot .” 

Sitting up completely straight you contemplate asking a question. “Can I ask you something Shuri?” The seriousness in your tone capturing her attention. She gestures towards you giving you permission. “When’s the last time you felt comforted, loved on, hell got a freaking hug outside of the bedroom?” Shuri shifted uncomfortably. She put her elbows behind her on the armrest sitting herself up a bit more. “I - I don’t - um I don’t really know.” 

“So you were in a relationship for almost a year. One that kept you away from your best friend might I add. And you can’t tell me the last time you received affection?” Your brows furrowed as Shuri sighed.

“I’m sorry.” Shuri sounded far away, her eyes avoiding yours. “You don’t owe me an apology. I know you did what you thought was best for you. I’d never be angry at you for not knowing how to process grief. However, I do think you deserved better. You’re not a robot. You’re not here for everyone else’s satisfaction. You have feelings and emotions and you should feel loved too. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was some pillow princess that didn’t even reciprocate your pleasure.” You scoffed shaking your head and grabbing your drink off of the table and taking a sip. When you look back towards Shuri her eyes were cast downward. You reach over tapping the bottom of her chin causing her to give you her focus. “Shuri?”

“She wasn’t into it.” Your mouth fell open on realization. “Oh hell no Shuri!” 

“It’s not like I was missing out. I’ve never been… touched in that way. It’s just how it is as a more masculine woman.”  She shrugged. You place your drink back on the table. Mouth agape. This was new. Shuri was the most confident person you knew. Women around the world would bend over backwards for her attention and here she was saying that she’d never been satisfied. “Who the fuck told you that? She wasn’t into what Shuri? Pussy? Shuri you’re not a man. Pussy comes with the territory. That’s how you receive pleasure. Unless that’s what you want? Are you asexual, trans?” You were genuinely concerned. Confusion filled Shuri’s face. “No y/n. I enjoy sex. I like being in control.” She says. “Ok. That’s cool. But a woman is what you identify as. You’ve never wanted to be anything else?” She shakes her head side to side. “Does being in control make you cum?” 

“Y/n I cum!”

“From sex oorr?”

“Not your business.”

“Well there’s my answer. Why would you entertain an obviously straight woman for so long Shuri? Why would you allow her to treat you like a bank account with a strap!?” You would forever want what was best for Shuri, and it pissed you off that some random had used her the way Solah had.

“I didn’t come here for this y/n.” She began to get up and you grab her hand. “No. Wait! I’m sorry Shuri. Ok. I over stepped. But, I just want you to be happy. Truly happy. And I hate seeing you settle. I can also admit that I needed you after everything and I was upset. Romanda was Umama wam, my Mama Monda, and it hurt that you shut me out because I thought we were in this together. And for a woman who couldn’t love you for being a woman. It’s amazing that you’re strong, intelligent, have impeccable style, a strong persona, and are comfortable in your masculinity. But what makes all of that beautiful is that you’re a woman.” She settled back down on the couch. Both of your eyes locked on one another. She’d never been called a woman. She’d been a child, a princess, a scientist, the Black Panther, and now Queen. But she couldn’t recall a time where she was just a woman. A woman with needs and desires that had never been met. 

“I can see you need time to reflect on that. While you do that I’ll tell you why I really called. Tomorrow I was planning to go to Florida for the weekend to see my family. It seems as though you could use some time away. And I would highly suggest you come smooth things over with mom who says you’ve been ignoring her.” Shuri’s head drops and her eyes get big. “Yea… So what’s a couple of days huh?” Shuri looked away as she contemplated. It didn’t take long for a slow smile to spread across her face. “I could use a quick get away”

The car turned onto the old gravely road. Vibrating against the rocks. It took some convincing for Shuri to be allowed on this trip alone. They’d compromised with allowing two of the Dora come along and stay in a near by hotel in case any danger took place when leaving your families land. You look out of the window smiling at the familiarity of it all. The wide expanse of land. The trees, the chicken coupe, The large tan home with the wrap around porch surrounded by a few smaller homes of family members. Home. You hadn’t been back in awhile and you couldn’t believe you’d been friends with Shuri all this time and she’d yet to see your home. You turn to your right to look at your stunning passenger as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings. Wearing a sports bra and sweat shorts with a short sleeve button up. All black of course. Her obsession with black was becoming concerning. “Sooo. What do you think?” You ask. She turns to look at you with a sparkle in her eye and  a smile. “It reminds me of the villages back home.” You didn’t have to ask if it was a compliment. Any comparison to Wakanda was extrodinary especially coming from the Queen herself. 

You stop the car in front of the house on the gravel driveway. Before you could put the car in park, your mother was running out of the house, straight to the passenger side. She swung open the door and pulled Shuri out by her wrist, wrapping her into her motherly embrace. “Shuri my baby! I’ve been worried sick about you! I’m so happy to see you girl!”  Shuri was shocked at first fully expecting your mother to be upset with her for not having communicated with her since her mom had passed. But soon she returned the embrace, closing her eyes and melting into your mother. “It’s good to see you too Mama Whitney.”  

Your mother pulled back from the hug looking Shuri over. “Let me look at you girl. Lordy! You look damn good, I’ll tell you that. You and my daughter come to your senses yet?“ she looked curiously between the two of you. As you both got flustered. “Mama! Stop it!” 

“Oh it’s coming.” She said with a smirk. “Come on in here and get comfortable while I finish cooking. Shuri you look like you’ve been eating good and healthy which is why you shouldn’t mind that I don’t plan on cooking nothing healthy for the next couple of days. Y’all gon’ eat good!” Shuri laughed. “That actually sounds amazing mama.”

“Good.”

You stand inside the car door with your arms resting on top of the opened door your face scrunching in confusion. “Mama girl! You ain’t even say hey to ME!”

“Girl get in this house!” You hear Shuri giggle as she walks inside the house. 

“Mmtch wooow”

“Aaaand this is my room” you open the door to your childhood room allowing Shuri to take a step inside after giving her a tour of the rest of the home. She stands in the center of your room taking it all in. Her mouth falling open. Your cheeks began to get warm and you knew that if it weren’t for your rich skin you’d be red as a tomato. There was an accent wall behind your queen sized bed just four thick black and white stripes with pink and white roses painted in the corners of the wall. Your bed made beautifully with a black comforter and pink accents. The room was very spacious with a reading area built into a bay window, and a beautiful black and crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling.  But as Shuri looked around that was not what had her awestruck. 

There were pictures on a huge pinboard of all of your friends from school. Pics of your cousins and other family members and other people you loved. Shuri hadn’t made that board. Because the entire wall to the right of her was a Mural of you and her when you were young. Other pictures from throughout the years were pinned against the wall. Not just of her but of your entire Wakandan family. You and Shuri annoying Okoye even made the wall. Shuri remembered the picture well. T’Challa had taken it. She turned to look at you and you looked down at your feet. 

“I’d miss you all so much when it was time to leave Wakanda. I asked mama if I could have this wall made to commemorate my trips. I love  my home, but you all are my family too. It was always so hard to leave. And you. You Ofcourse are my best friend in the world and I couldn’t print a picture big enough to express it. So you got the whole wall.” You let out a small laugh. “I hope you don’t think it’s weird or anything.” Shuri shakes her head from left to right. “It’s beautiful.” You heard the crack in her voice, and looked up to see her eyes glistening. Instantly making your way over you grab her hand. “It’s not too much for you is it? I can take you to one of the guest rooms and you never have to step foot back in here.” 

“No y/n. It’s perfect. I-I just don’t have the words. Just know that they felt the same about you. And I love you with all of my heart.” She wrapped you in her arms and the two of you stood hugging in the center of your room.

“GIRLS! COME ON AND GET SOME OF THIS FOOD BEFORE YOUR HUNGRY ASS COUSINS SMELL IT AND COME SCRAP THE BOTTOM OF THESE POTS!!” The both of you pull away giggling like teenagers. Wiping at tears that had yet to fall. “She’s right. We should hurry the barrage is coming.” You grab her hand and lead her down the stairs to the kitchen. As soon as you both hit the corner, the door to the back patio opened and your cousin Marcus stepped in all smiles. “What’s hannin’ cuzzo! I knew that was yo ass with that bougie ass rental!” You turn and give Shuri a ‘here they come’ look as you walk over to give him a hug.  “Hey Marcus I’m doing great! How are you?” You say full of sarcasm. “And it’s not a rental. It’s my friends car.” You pull back and gesture towards Shuri. “Oh Shit! That’s the Queen! Ah damn. My bad imma be skraight up wichu’ ion know what to do.” Shuri laughed. “It is fine. I am in your territory. Shuri is just fine.” She spoke shaking his hand. 

“Damn you proper as fuck. Got me wantin’ to say indubitably and shit. Her accent cold den a bih!” 

“Bruh she ain’t even say shit! Go get some food and stop being embarrassing.” You laughed. Shuri stood looking confused. “What is that he’s speaking?” Your eyebrows raise as your face contorts and you double over in laughter. Shuri continues to stare in confusion. When you finally calm down you start to explain. “Some call it Ebonics, more recently it’s been called AAVE ‘African American Venacular English’. But in simpler terms, he just country baby.” You laugh and nudge her towards the kitchen. 

The day was a blast. More and more of your family filed over to meet Shuri. They were filled with questions and so was she. There was good food, laughter, and drinks. Everyone loved Shuri but the children couldn’t get enough of her, and she loved it. She ran up and down the lawn with them. Laughing and carrying on like a carefree child. She was beautiful and something inside of you was seeing her differently. “Beautiful woman Shuri turned out be huh baby girl?” Your mother walked up to you as you watched her play basketball and argue with the boys about her cheating. You turn to your mother who had a sneaky smile on her face. “She’s always been beautiful mama.”

“Yea. But there’s a little something extra to it now. She seems more sure of herself. Physically fit.” Shooting your mother a knowing look, you nod a bit. “I guess you could say that.” Looking out at her in her black sports bra and shorts all of her usual jewelry on as she sweat in the Florida humidity. Her lean muscles flexing with every motion as she dribbled the ball pointing at the hoop obviously taunting Marcus. Yes. Something was different. 

“You know baby. I think It was always there. Sometimes things just evolve with time, and that’s ok. Just because it’s one way today doesn’t mean it should stay that way forever.” Looking at your mother you give small smile and she smiled back. “Now you take that and apply it to whatever you need to.” She pat your thigh and kissed your cheek before walking away, leaving you standing in thought. 

“Y/n! Your cousins a HATER!!” You hear Shuri yell from the court. “Nah yo lil friend a cheater bro.”

“This unsportsmanlike conduct is not attractive, not attractive at all.” She laughed looking up at you, sending you a wink. Your stomach flutters a smile lifting your cheeks as you shake your head. There was definitely a different feeling there. 

You take out your phone and make a phone call. “Hey girl. I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor last minute. I’ll pay you whatever you like.”

The sun began to set as you and Shuri sat on the porch swing together listening to the sounds of the crickets. She lay in your lap as you run your fingers through the parts of her braids. 

“This is beautiful. A beautiful up bringing you had. It explains a lot about you. I wish I’d come here sooner.”

“Oh really? Explains a lot about me in what way?” She shrugged.

“Like why you’re so warm and inviting. So lovable, and intelligent. Definitely why you’re so funny. You’re family is hilarious. Why everything feels better when I’m around you. I don’t know. You just. Feel like home.” She opens her eyes looking up at you. “You are home for me.”  Breath catching in your throat you gaze down into her eyes until the sound of a throat clearing snapped you both out of it. 

“What you girls up to out here” Your mom says grinning knowingly. Shuri bit into her lip as you stumble over your words.

“Uh n-nothing just uh we’re talking.”

“Mhmm. I’m in for the night. Goodnight love birds.” She chuckled 

“Ma!!” You yell as Shuri chuckled. 

“Where are we going?”

After everyone settled in for the night you told Shuri you wanted to take her somewhere special. “Asking a million times isn’t going to make me tell you any faster Shuri. We’ll be there shortly. Just enjoy the ride.” You look at her with a stern stare. She just smiled and rolled down her window as you drove over a tall bridge with a huge body of water beneath. The moon shining bright in the sky. Shuri closed her eyes as the wind blew through her curls. Listening to the music pour through the speakers. 

Soon the two of you pulled up to an isololated picnic area that was pitch black. You stepped out of the car as Shuri sat unsure. Walking around the car you open the door for her, startling her. “Leave your shoes.” She slides off her tan crocks as you reach your hand out to her. She took it, hesitantly stepping out of the car. “You’re not trying to murder me are you? That’s a bad idea.” Laughing you slap her arm. “No psycho, just come.” Interlacing your fingers together you guide her through the darkness. As you walk up wooden stairs the sound of waves crashing and the smell of salt hit your noses. As you came over the top of the stairs of the board walk, fairy lights sparkled against the darkness. The closer the two of you got to the end of the board walk the more the set up of blankets, pillows, and candles came into view. You could feel Shuri’s hand tighten on yours slightly as she followed you. The friend that set up the gorgeous picnic walked over to you with a beautiful bouquet of flowers handing them over. She smiled and gave a nod of greeting to the both of you as you told her thank you as she walked away. 

“These are for you.” You say handing her the flowers. 

“W-what’s all of this?” She says. Her beautiful jawline was on display as she faced the set up, an unreadable expression on her face. “I know you enjoy being by the water and thought you might like this. I was thinking of the conversation we had yesterday, and I just wanted to do something to make you feel special.” Her smile produced slowly a quick gasp of air released from her chest, one giggle, two giggles and uncontrollable burst of laughter. You cock your head to the side a knowing smile spreading across your face. “You’re doing that thing where you laugh really hard to stop yourself from crying again?” Still laughing she nods. “Is it helping?” She shakes her head side to side. “Good. Because it’s ok to let go and cry Shuri.” Stopping herself from laughing she bit her bottom lip as she looked down at you. Once again moving her head from left to right. The signs of her internal battle on her face. 

“Come on let’s sit.” The two of you made yourselves comfortable. Enjoying the assorted fruits, cheeses, and wine while listening to the oceans waves, and talking about everything under the sun. As Shuri loosened up the two of you walked along the shore getting your feet wet which eventually turned into splashing eachother with water, playing like children. You fell back in laughter onto the blanket after you and Shuri made your way back to your area. Looking at her you take note of the beautiful sound of her laughter, her smile lighting up the night and her eyes sparkling. Nothing you’d ever done had been more worth it than this one thing. She sat beside you again as she looked up at the stars. “Thank you for this y/n. The entire day has been beautiful. And I-I really needed this.” 

“I know you did. I just wanted you to be on the receiving end for once. It’s overdue for you. I want you to know it was never my intentions to be insensitive about your relationship. I just don’t want to see you settle for anyone. You deserve the best of everything Shuri. And mostly you deserve to be treated like a lady, and not a toy.”

Shuri was silent as a tear finally fell from her eye. “I-I just thought maybe it was all I was good for y/n. Like Maybe I was not meant to enjoy life’s pleasures.” It was all the reply you needed. “Awww baby girl. Come here.” You motioned towards your lap holding your arms out welcoming her into your embrace. She complied straddling your lap laying her head on your shoulder and wrapping her arms around your neck as though she needed this. Just to be held and cared for for a change. Seen as the young woman she was. Gently you caressed her back rocking from side to side. The tension leaving her body with every tender stroke of your hand. You could feel her body melt into yours. As her muscles loosened her body began to shake. A trembling exhale releasing itsself from her mouth. Her arms tightened around you and she buried her face deeper into your neck. A short puff of air escaped her mouth before a choked sob followed. Until finally the most heartbreaking cry released from her gut. “It’s ok. Let it out. I’m here. You’re safe.” You continue comforting her holding her in silence until her sobbing slowed. 

“Shuri, I’m so sorry. I should’ve come to see you. You’d gone all of this time feeling like you were alone. I was always here. I would never leave you hanging.” You gently push against her shoulders signaling that you wanted her to sit up. She sits up and your heart breaks at the sight of her face. The candle light highlighting the streaks of tears. You’d never seen Shuri so broken. Your hands cupped each one of her cheeks as you spoke. “You know that right? I’ll always be here. I know in a lot of what you do you’re not allowed to be emotional. But you can be that with me. You’re human. You deserved to be loved, cared for, hugged, touched like the gorgeous woman you are.”  Her eyes were beautiful. Even swollen and red with tears they had a certain light. You’d never paid much attention to that before. Wiping at her tears with the pads of your thumbs you get lost in the parts of Shuri you’d never noticed. Shuri’s eyes examined your face, her lip tucking itself into her mouth. Your hands drop, one onto her thigh, the other to her chin. Thumb trailing right underneath her lip. You give a slight tug releasing her lip keeping her chin placed tenderly between your fingers. 

Her mouth began to open and close slightly like she wanted to speak but the words were stuck. She leaned in a small amount and slightly pulled back again eyes fluttering between your eyes and mouth as though she was asking permission. Your grip on her chin became firmer as you gently guide her mouth towards yours. Slowly she bent down stopping short of your lips, your noses grazing against eachothers as her breath tickled your lips. That’s when she closed the distance. Your lips pressed together and it felt like lightening struck you. Engulfed in her scent as her soft lips glided against yours you wondered if she felt it too. The electricity flowing through your veins. As the thought crossed your mind, you got an immediate answer. Shuri moaned into your mouth. The prettiest sound you’d ever heard. She pressed herself into you grabbing onto your hands interlacing your fingers. You gave another moan in response, grazing the tip of your tounge across the bottom of her lip she opened up to you so easily. Allowing you to explore the inside of her mouth. 

Quickly you were loosing control, your thoughts moving a mile a minute, caught up in the intensity of the moment. You pulled away from her mouth and swiftly began placing hot wet kisses along her jaw. Removing your hands from hers placing them on her waist, gripping  onto them pleading with yourself to come down from this high. She was intoxicating. Filling up your senses in ways no one had ever before. Her vulnerability brought out the protector in you. Her body trembled at your touch. New to the feeling of being touched and treasured in this way. Never would either of you have thought it would be the other. Kissing down her neck, the words escaped your mouth before you could stop them. “Let me *kiss* do it *kiss* for you Shuri.” Your hand traveled to the nape of her neck gripping and pulling her head back slightly to make room for you to place kisses at the front of her neck. “I want to take care of you. Mentally, spiritually, physically. Can I do that for you? Will you let me take care of you and your body baby girl. Please?”

Shuri pulled back quickly eyes wide with fear. “I-I’m sorry…. I um.. I can’t.” She removed herself from your lap standing to her feet. You catch her wrist as she headed towards the car. “Shuri wait! I’m sorry if that was too much. I just…I got caught up. Please don’t leave.” Shuri shakes her head left to right. “I can’t do this. This is a lot. I just need a moment. I’ll be in the car.” Pulling away from you she rushed away with you calling after her. 

“Damnit!” 

The drive home had been silent. The next morning you and Shuri prepared to leave early of course with many questions from your mother as you all sat at breakfast.

“Y’all mighty quiet.” She repeated all morning as you both gathered your things.

You’d calmed her with promises of coming back home soon. She walked you both out “Shuri, let me talk to you.” She walked over to your mother silently eyes down cast.

“I don’t know what happened between you and my daughter. But I’m not a fool. I know two people in love when I see it.” Shuri’s eyes snapped up from the ground.

“No need to look shocked. I’m not gonna get too deep in y’all business. But I just wanted to make sure I let you know it’s ok to be happy. You don’t have to punish yourself for being here. I’ve known your mama long enough to know she wouldn’t want that for you.”

“It’s scary out here alone Mama Whit.”

“Oh baby I know. But you don’t have to be alone. I love you and you got a whole other family right here. We can never replace the ones you lost. But we can take up some space.” Shuri smiled. “I’d like that very much.”

“Good. And from now on answer my calls, you don’t want me showing up to Wakanda unannounced!” Wrapping her arms around Shuri as they laughed. “Work it out baby girl. You got this.”

Shuri only spoke to you when necessary during the trip back to Wakanda. It’d now been a few days since the incident and you’d continuously tried to reach Shuri. Even showed up to the palace. You were told she wasn’t there, but you knew it was a lie. Now you sat at home leaving your hundredth message with Shuri as the rain came down hard outside. 

“Shuri, I’m so sorry. Please just answer. We were tipsy and.. and I got caught up in the moment. I didn’t mean to freak you out. We can pretend it never happened, or talk whatever you want to do. Please just call me back.” 

Shuri had always hated storms. Would stay holed up in her room on the phone with you calming her, and when you’d spend summers in Wakanda you’d make your way to her room  staying up all night watching movies and eating snacks. Now she was completely alone. Sitting back on your couch you stare up towards the ceiling. Never had you had feelings like this for Shuri before. Her eyes, her smell, her aura had over taken you. This immense need to be her lover and protector. That one day opened your eyes to her in so many ways and now you were confused. Now you sat trying to process of all of these new emotions. Your mind was all over the place. But mostly you were scared that you’d lost her for good. Maybe you’d just gotten too excited to see her after so long. Or maybe you truly had feelings for her. You were all the familiarity that she had left in the world. The closest thing to family. Would it really be the worst thing in the world if you had feelings for Shuri. It would if she obviously didn’t share those feelings. 

Letting out a frustrated groan you run a hand over your face. In an attempt to relax your mind you head to your room to get comfortable. Putting on a red silk nightie, pilling your curls into a messy bun and dimming the lights in your apartment. “Griot, turn on relaxation playlist.” You head to your kitchen to pour a glass of wine, when there was a knock at your door. Your heart dropped. There was only one person you could think of that would show up to your home unannounced. Quietly you walk to the door looking into your peephole. The sight shocking you. Swinging the door open you take in the sight in front of you. There she stood. Her curls now out and drenched along with her all black silk set. The shirt tucked and unbuttoned almost to her naval. No bra beneath. The shine of her panther necklace glistening against her wet skin. You could feel an influx of saliva build up inside your mouth while you watched her shift from one foot to the other. 

“Shuri. You came out in this weather?” She swallowed. “I was out driving and now here I am.” She looked so unsure, so innocent as she stood anxiously shuffling in your doorway. It made you nervous too. “Uh well come in. You’re soaked.” 

“Yea, forgot my umbrellla.” She said walking in taking her boots off at the door.

“I’ll go um get you a towel.”  You quickly run to your bathroom and grab her a towel. Before you could think better of it you walk back out to Shuri and immediately pressed the towel into her chest drying her off. Her hand came up over top of yours, holding you there as she looked into your eyes, water dripping from her hair.

“Oh uh m. I’m sorry you can do this yourself. You can help yourself to any of my clothes too. I was just about to pour a glass of wine would you like one?” She moistened her lips never breaking eye contact with you.

“Yes, I’ll have some once I get changed.” Taking the towel from your hands her fingertips grazing the backs of your hands.

“Y-yea. Yea ok.” You exhaled as she brushed past you. That beautiful scent of hers invading your senses once again. You rush back into the kitchen, taking another glass from your cabinet you pour wine for the both of you and waited. Awhile passed and you started getting antsy so you start pulling out ingredients to make your s’more cookies that she loved, to get your mind off of your nerves. You hummed to the music as you began mixing your ingredients.

“Is this mine?” You hear Shuri say from behind you. Turning to see what she’s talking about, your jaw went slack once you caught a glimpse. There she stood in one of your oversized T-shirts and that’s all. The two of you had always been comfortable around eachother. But, Shuri’s version of comfort had always been almost a full sweat suit. Your eyes locked on her pretty long legs. Long, toned, and moisturized. They began to move with her elegant stride. 

“I’ll take that as a yes” she says hopping onto your counter, grabbing the glass of wine and taking a sip sitting with her legs slightly open where you could see her black lace boy shorts peaking at you. “L-leg- I mean yes it it is” You swallow and let out a low groan. Shuri heard and her lip curved into a crooked smile. 

“What are you making?” Placing the glass down she stares at you. Her eyes were low and there was something in her eyes that you weren’t sure that you were reading correctly. You shake it off and continue mixing. “S’more cookies. I know how much you love those.” A light sigh comes from Shuri’s mouth. “You’re always thinking of me. Nobody knows me better than you. Can I taste some of the mix?” She practically purred. You’d never seen Shuri in this element and it was re-wiring your brain cells. What was she trying to do, kill you? Nodding you take some of the mixture onto a spoon and walk over to her. When you were close enough she grabbed your wrist, pulling you inbetween her legs. She held your hand guiding the spoon to her mouth slowly licking away its contents before closing her eyes sucking off the remainder with a moan. “Delicious.” She said. Her eyes opened and gazed straight into yours. Irresistible. That’s all that came to mind as your core leaked with a need for her that you could no longer control. Before you knew it you’re tongue was mixing with the sweet doughy goodness in her her mouth. 

“Fuuuuuck Shuri. What are you trying to do to me?” You say after pulling away from the kiss placing your foreheads together. 

“I got all of your messages. I just wasn’t ready. This is all so new. Suddenly having feelings for you in that way. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before and it’s scary. So I tried to rationalize my thoughts and what was happening and I wasn’t ready to except it yet. You’ve been with me what feels like forever. And I don’t want to mess us up. But I couldn’t get your words out of my mind. Your touch. The feeling of your lips. And I had to admit that I-I want it. You bring out the woman in me and I love it.” He mouth hovered closer to yours. “I want you. I want you to take care of me and I want to take care of you. I want to be made love to….like a woman. And I want it to be you. No one gets me like you, cares like you. I’m ready to give us a try if you’re willing.”

You pull back looking into her eyes “So is that what all of this was about? You were trying to seduce me into a relationship?” You bit your lip and smirked. Batting her eyes she answers “Depends on if it was working.” Scoffing you reply “You can’t tell?” She giggled as her hands moved over top of yours that were tightly gripping her thighs. “I’d love nothing more than to give us a try. As long as you’re really ready. We can take it as slow as you need. Are you sure you want to do this? There’s no going back from here.” 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” Placing your finger inside of the bowl you scoop up more of the dough bringing it up to her lips. “Have some more.” She opened her mouth, taking your finger inside and sucking, bobbing her head up and down three times before releasing it with a pop, her eyes never leaving yours. “Oh ok. You want it. And you’re definitely gonna get it.”  She grabs your shirt pulling your mouth onto hers as you fall into a sloppy kiss. Her arms wrap around your neck as she moves her body closer to the edge of the counter. You grab underneath her thighs picking her up off of the counter carrying her into the bedroom. You gently lie her down onto the bed. Placing kisses along her jaw. You pull back as Shuri let go of a dissatisfied groan. 

“Don’t worry pretty girl. I’m gonna make you feel plenty good for the rest of the night. Be patient with me. Can you do that.” She nods beneath you. “Good. Be a good girl and sit against the head board for me.” Standing to your feet you head into the bathroom to wash your hands. When you re-enter the bedroom Shuri’s lean frame sat sexily against the headboard patiently waiting. You take your time walking around lighting candles all around your room as she watched you sway your hips seductively. Now your attention was completely on her as you walk over and Place yourself between Shuri and the head board. You whisper in her ear. “Relax baby. I’m not in a rush. I want you to feel every moment of this. Of how you deserve to be loved.” Massaging her breast over the top of your t-shirt that hung from her body. Her head fell back onto your shoulder as you place your hands underneath her shirt. “I want you to empty that brain of yours tonight. Only focus on my touch okay.” She nodded her head her lip trapped between her teeth. Removing your hands you grab her arms gently raising her them “Let me take this off for you.” Sliding the fabric off of her body you threw it to the floor to be forgotten. Taking her forearms in your hand you gently bring them back around your neck giving you perfect access to her perfect little breast.

“Don’t move your arms from here ok. You’re so sexy like this Shuri. So fucking beautiful.” Your fingers slide all over her body. Brushing across her nipples until they hardened. You began pinching and rolling them between your thumb and pointer finger. “Ah, Bast y/n” she moaned out. “I love it when you moan my name. I’m gonna have to make you make that sound a lot more tonight huh beautiful?” She didn’t respond, so you pinched a bit harder on her nipple causing her body to jerk. “Answer me when Im talking to you.”

“Yes please make me moan your name all night.”

“Hmm. I can do that for you Panther. It’d be my honor.” One of your hands slid slowly down her toned stomach to her panties your hand sliding  over top of them onto her hot mound. Pressing into her and holding. Her breath catches as her hips buck up. “Uh uh. Be still. Just feel. Breathe and feel me. Consentrate on the feeling of me.” Shuri let out a long exhale her body relaxing into your touch. Her pretty legs relaxing to the sides. “Yea. Just like that. Good girl.” She moaned at the praise and you smirk against her neck. Your fingers slowly began to move into her folds overtop of her panties. A light whimper escaped her mouth as she began to move her hips against your palm. Increasing the pressure and pace your fingers move up and down the center of her lips. Her eyes shut tighter and her bottom lip dropped. “Sss that’s right baby girl. Focus on that feeling. Feels good huh? Yeeea it feels good to my baby.”

“Oh Bast. Y/n your driving me crazy.” She whispered. You continue to place kisses to her neck while fondling her breast and playing with her Pussy. Her legs fall open wider and you feel her clit throbbing in her panties. “Tell me how you feel?”

“Sss-so-so good. Mm please.”

“Please what mama? Tell me what you want.”

“M-more. I need more.” Removing your hand from her center you instruct her to remove her panties. Once removed she sat back between your legs placing her hands back around your neck. You drag your middle finger through the center of her lips. “Mmm you’re so fucking wet for me. This all for me?” You pressed into her clit and began rubbing in circles. “YES!! Yes its all for you!” Her arms tightened around your neck. As you continued your ministrations. Rubbing faster as her hips bucked up against your hand. Her curls tickled your ear as her head leaned against yours. You watched the sweat began to build and glisten against her abs as they contracted with her every movement. She was powerful even under your control. You groaned at the sight. “Bast I can’t wait to put those sexy ass legs over my shoulders. To be deep inside this pretty pussy you’ve been hiding away. You ready for that? Huh baby?”

“Uuuhhh huh” She moaned so pretty your eyes rolled back. “Sound so good.” You whisper against her ear. You go faster and so does she. Her muscular thighs contracting. “You gonna cum for me?” 

“Yes sthandwa! I’m gonna cum!” 

“Let it go pretty.” Her body began to tremble in your arms and her ass lifted completely off of the bed. As she let out a yelp. “Yeeaaa. Gooood girlll. Your doing so good for me pretty girl.” Her body went limp against yours as she came down from her. You remove your fingers from her core bringing them up to your lips sucking away her juices. “I always new you’d taste good as fuck. Can I taste some more?” Shuri looked up at you. Eyes blown and in love. She pulled you down into her, kissing you passionately. You move from behind her and inbetween her legs reattaching yourself to her mouth and laying her back gently. You try to move down her body but she locks her legs and arms around you pressing you against her and deepening the kiss. Laughing against her mouth you pull back.

“I love you y/n” you smile and peck her lips. “If you let me go I can show you how much more I love you.”  

You continue your way down her body. Finally taking one of her taught nipples into you mouth. Squeezing her pretty thighs as you take turns with each nipple. Kissing down her stomach and taking your time at her navel. You skip over her center sitting up and lifting both of her legs. “These drive me crazy.” You kiss your way down her legs. Ankles. Calves. Thighs.  Until you make it to the prize. “My God she’s beautiful. Hey pretty girl.” You place a kiss to her lips and then lick one long stripe through her folds. You give a couple more licks before you take hold of her clit sucking and releasing it with a pop. 

“Oh my Bast! I-I uuhh that feels so good sthandwa don’t stop!” Knowing you were bringing those sounds out of her made you want to give her everything. You push her legs back against her chest kissing, sucking, and licking. Her scent putting you in a trance. You could live between her thighs. You massaged her folds with your mouth, slipping your tongue just inside her pussy. Shuri lifted her hips from the sensation, begging you for more. Your tongue moved in and out of her slit. Your mouth traveled upwards flicking your tongue over her clit. Shuri felt something slender penetrate her aching pussy. Looking between her glistening spread legs she saw your tongue lapping her erect tip as your fingers slipped inside. “Uuuhh you’re fucking me so good!” You started pumping slow and steady as you continued savoring her clit.

Shuri could feel another climax drawing near from the intense sensations running through her body. Closing her eyes she listened to the suckling sounds humming across her sex. Her cries of pleasure echoing through the air with every lick. Grabbing her breasts she massaged the way you’d done earlier, taking her nipples and tugging softly. Slipping from her pussy, you took the tip of your finger and began caressing her pearl. Shuri gasped as you slowly massaged warm cream over the sensitive flesh. Her heart was beating faster as she braced herself for her orgasm. And then you pulled away. A frustrated huff left her mouth. “Patience pretty girl.” You finally slip your teddy off of your shoulders. Pulling it off your body. Allowing it to join Shuri’s clothes on the floor. 

You squat overtop of her placing your pussy directly onto hers. She squirmed underneath you. Reaching down to grab your ass. “Is this good?”

“Y-yes. P-please just fuck me!” You lift her leg that was infront of you placing it on your shoulder as leaned down towards her bringing her leg with you. “Gladly” You began moving your hips. Already on the cusp of your orgasam from listening to and watching Shuri. “Don’t run from me ever again. I-I wanna make you feel like this for the rest of my life.” 

“I woooonnnt baby! I won’t! I-I’m not going anywhere! Keep fucking me like that! I’m gonna CUM!!” Her back went into a deep arch as she threw her head back. Tears leaking down the sides of her face. You take the opportunity to latch on to her sexy sweaty neck. “Uuhnn I’m cumming with you baby.” Her hand squeezed tighter on your ass as you felt a gush of liquid against your pussy immediately knocking down your orgasam as well.

“Zakho ezilungileyo! Nguwe ongcono kakhulu!!” (You’re the best. You’re the fucking best.)  

“Fuuuck Shuri! Your pussy’s so fucking good! So good. So fucking good.” You kept repeating against her mouthas you continued moving still cumming while she whimpered beneath you. 

Coming down from your highs you collapsed on top of her sweaty body as she immediately captured your lips again. “You really got to be a pillow princess tonight. How does is feel almighty panther?” You asked once she released her hold on you. “It feels like you’re going to be putting a lot of work in through out the years.” You both laugh as you lay your head onto Shuri’s chest as she wrapped her arms around you as you wrapped yourself around her body gently stroking her side. Her fingers immediately find your scalp again. Your bun was long gone.

“Shuri?”

“Yea?”

“Do you think we’ve always been in love.” 

“Probably”

“Who do you think fell first?” Shuri laughs.

“Obviously you!” You gasp! “That’s not fair!” You laugh along with her knowing it was possibly true.

“No. Honestly I feel as though we walked onto that cliff hand and hand and fell together.”

[gracieheartspedro]

I Can See You

PART 3 is HERE!

joel miller x fem! reader

Hi lovers! Sorry this took so long, life got busy and ADHD is a bitch. But here it is! My next post will probably be a different drabble/one-shot. If you have any requests, PLEASE hit me up! I am open to a bunch of different ideas!

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: MINORS DNI! 18+ pleaseeee, DBF! Joel, age gap-ish (the reader is 25, Joel is 39), joel is a bad cook, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names, tons of dirty talk.

Outline: She gets invited over for dinner and a movie night? Just a movie, huh?

PART 1 PART 2

“So Joel told me he’s coming over today,” Dad says from across the dining room table as I eat my breakfast, “With Sarah?”

I stop and chew slower, trying to hold back a smirk.

Ever since we fucked in the conference room, I’ve been texting Joel every day. Sometimes it was naughty sexts and other times it was him asking how my day was going and what my weekend plans were.

A couple of days ago, he called me instead of texting, which was odd. He asked if Sarah could come swim in our pool because she wouldn’t stop asking about it. 

So I agreed, telling him that Saturdays were the best day for me. I also told him he had to be around just in case anything happened and I wouldn't be 100% liable for Sarah’s well-being. 

“Yeah, I told her she could come over and swim in the pool. She wanted to practice her backstroke.”

He smiles, “Nice for you to have her over, but are you okay with it just being y’all? I can stay home from this conference so I can entertain Joel.”

I shake my head quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly.

“No dad, it’s fine,” I take a sip of orange juice, “They will only be here for the afternoon. It’s not worth you missing two days in Houston. You need to go.”

He takes my word for it and hurries to finish his breakfast. He should’ve left at 6am, but here we are at 10 and he’s still not left. I texted Joel under the table as soon as he took his plate to the sink. 

Pops is still here. You and Sarah are welcome as soon as he leaves.

I bring my half-finished eggs to the trash, scooping them into bin. 

“Do you need me to leave my credit card?”

I shake my head, “No, it’s fine. Joel is buying us pizza in return of allowing Sarah to use our pool.”

“You better not have told him we needed something in return of using the goddamn pool,” Dad fusses, “He is always welcome to it. God knows you hardly use it.”

I roll your eyes, “No, I didn’t say that to him.”

I actually told him that he could bend me over the kitchen counter in return for using the pool. 

I feel my phone buzz. 

From: Joel Miller

Can’t wait to see you, baby.

–

Dad left, and not even an hour later, Joel pulled up with Sarah in his truck. He was sporting some black swim trunks and gray t-shirt. Sarah giddily got out of the truck, sporting a pink one piece and flip flops. She hurried to the door, where she found me sporting the skimpiest bikini I owned. 

It was a red triangle bikini top and the cheekiest bottoms in my collection. Something very casual. 

Sarah gave me a warm smile, racing into the house and to the back sliding doors. It’s like she knew exactly where to go. Joel took his time grabbing their stuff. I lean against the door frame, taking him in. 

As soon as his eyes met mine, his eyes quickly averted down my body. He creeps closer, slinging his towel over his shoulder. 

“Evil,” He mutters walking pass me, “You can’t be doin’ this around Sarah.”

I smile, shutting the door behind him. He looms over me and I get a whiff of sunscreen. 

“Doing what?” I ask innocently.

He glances into the back yard where Sarah is already getting ready to jump into the pool. He’s making sure she’s not watching.

His arm wraps around my waist, grabbing onto my bare ass. I feel very small when I look up at him. His brown eyes bore into mine. 

“You sure are lucky that my Sarah is here, because if she wasn’t,” He pauses, “I’d take you right in front of the window here.”

He gestures to the window right by the front door. 

“But you’d like that wouldn’t you? Show the neighborhood who’s pussy this is.”

His hand rests right above the hem of my bottoms. I bite my lip. He knows what to say to make my brain melt and my words jumble together. But it’s a game.

I needed the chase, it made everything with Joel so much more satisfying and dangerous. 

I contemplate for a moment, before grabbing his chin gingerly.

“Why don’t you order those pizzas, babe?”

-

“Look at this dive, Dad!”

I prop myself up on my lounger chair, watching Sarah dive into the deep end. Joel is meandering around the pool, his skin so beautifully touched by the sun. His tan was deep and seeing it glisten with the water all over his body, was just icing on the cake. 

“Very nice, baby,” He glances my way, noticing I’ve finally risen from my spot. After stuffing myself with pizza, I knew I had to lay out and let my bloated stomach go back to normal. 

I watch him rise from the water, using the steps to make his way over to me. The weight of the water drags his shorts a bit lower and seeing his toned tummy was a sight to behold. 

I look around him to see Sarah swimming laps, making sure she was occupied. He plops down next to me in the other lounger, grabbing his aviator suns from the table between us. 

“What’s your plans while your dad is gone?” He questions, propping his sunglasses on his nose. 

I shrug, leaning towards him to whisper, “Thinkin’ I’ll go across the street and fuck that hot MILF everyone won’t stop talkin’ about.”

He shakes his head, “That poor lady has a name, ya know?”

“It’s like Susan, isn’t it?”

“Lauren.”

I groan, “She even has a hot girl name! God damn!”

He chuckles, “No but seriously, what are you doin’?”

I look over to make sure Sarah couldn’t hear me. I watch her dive into the water again, “No plans. Just hangin’ around.”

He nods, laying back onto the chair, “Why don’t you come over tonight?”

My stomach drops. He asks it so nonchalantly.

“When Sarah is home?”

“She’s going to her grandparents tonight. They are takin’ her to some baseball game.”

So we get to be alone?

“Oh, okay,” I thought for a moment, “So you want me to come over and do what?”

“I don’t know,” He mumbles, “We can watch a movie. I’ll cook.”

If you would’ve asked me a month ago, I never once would have imagined a moment where Joel Miller would even give me the time of day. Now he’s asking to hangout with me outside of work? Spend time with just me? It seemed out of the realm of possibilities.

But I love that the offer stands.

“Sure, I’d love to,” I pause, “As long as the cooking is good. If not, we are ordering out again.”

“Hey,” He grumbles, “Fuck you, I’m an excellent cook.”

It’s like Sarah got superhuman hearing all of a sudden because she quips up.

“Don’t believe him! He burns eggs every morning!”

“Hey, you eat them anyway!”

-

I arrive to the Miller’s around 7PM. I decided to walk again, trying not to tip off any of the neighbors leaving my car parked beside Joel’s truck. I decide for a black hoodie, jean shorts, and Converse. I didn’t bring a bag of things because technically, Joel didn’t say this was a sleepover. I am running on the assumption I am leaving after our… movie night?

I knock quickly, glancing back and forth between Joel’s neighbors. Both are pretty familiar with my dad, so I knew if I was spotted, they would rat me out. 

Joel swings the door open, this time, fully clothed. A casual outfit for Joel, jeans and a light grey t-shirt. 

“Come on in,” He mumbles, “Did you drive?”

I shake my head, “No. Walked. I took shortcuts, too.”

He grabs me quickly, pulling me inside. He glances around outside, making sure no one is outside. 

“I already had Mrs. Adler askin’ why I took Sarah over to your house today,” He says, shutting the door, “Hate when people are in my business.”

“What did you tell her?”

He smirks, “That I was fuckin’ my bosses’ daughter.”

My cheeks get hot. 

“Nah, just that you were givin’ Sarah time in your pool to practice her swimmin’. She stopped with the questions after that.”

I smack his chest, bringing down my hood. I take off my hoodie eventually, sporting a simple white tank top underneath. I toe off my shoes, propping them up by the door.

“We fucked once, so technically we aren’t fuckin’,” I tease, “Unless…”

He starts his way to the kitchen ignoring me.

“You hungry?”

–

Joel was a bad cook, but I wasn’t going to come in with judgment when it’s a free meal and he made it just for me. 

He stares me down from across his small dining room table, waiting for me to say something. We sit in silence for most of the meal. Not uncomfortable silence, just too in our own heads, I guess. I eat the last of my burnt brussel sprouts, trying not to let him read my mind like he usually does.

“You hate it don’t ya?”

I take one more bite, “I’m not a chef by any means either, Joel.”

He laughs, “That’s a good way to put it, little one.”

The nickname makes every hair on my legs stand up. He notices my demeanor change. He stands up, collecting our plates and brings them to the sink. I stand up to begin to help him, but he has other ideas. He stands over me as soon as I get up, his dark brown eyes raking me up and down. He reaches up to my biceps, running his warm hands up and down them. 

“You like it when I call you that?”

“What?” I croak out. I knew what he was talking about, but for some reason I wanted him to keep saying it. 

“Little one,” He whispers, “My little one.”

I swallow hard, “Y-yeah.”

“Gets you all riled up? Makes you think of the first time my face was between your thighs?”

I close my eyes, letting his hand start to run down my face, to my jawline, to my collarbones. I take in his scent. Amberwood, aftershave, and maybe a bit of cigar? It was intoxicating, his scent. 

“J-Joel,” is all I can mutter, “P-Please.”

I open my eyes finally, seeing him smirk, “What baby? What do you want?”

“Do it again,” I mumble, “I want you to do that again.”

His hand travels down to my waist, and with one arm, he hoists me up to the kitchen counter. My jean shorts ride up even more as he positions himself between my legs. 

“I need more than that, little one,” He says, “What exactly are you talkin’ about?”

He was going to make me lay it all out for him. I don’t know why I felt shy again, like I couldn’t say what I needed from him. 

Like before, he looks so tall and big standing over me. His hands feel so strong and his arms so toned. I wanted to jump his bones watching him at the pool earlier, watching him be at ease with no shirt on. His confident stride and stature was so attractive. 

“Speak up,” He demands, “Need you to say it.”

“I need you,” I drag it out, “I need you to eat me out.”

He starts hooking his fingers through my belt loops, lifting me out of my shorts, “What else?”

My mind goes blank for a second. 

“Fuck me?”

“No please?” he taunts.

“P-Please Joel,” I mutter, “Don’t make me beg.”

He chuckles lowly, “Oh I fuckin’ will.”

He doesn’t waste time completely tearing my thong off my body. I lean back, my head resting against the cabinets. The thong gets tossed across the room, now useless after being torn in two. 

He reaches up to bring my head forward, crashing our lips together. Our tongues battle instantly, both of us wanting to be dominant. He was so forceful, but it was everything I needed to be more sure in myself. I reach up, lacing my hands in his hair. 

He pulls away, his breathing fanning my already hot face, “You gonna be good for me, baby? Use those manners?” 

“Of course,” I moan, “P-Please do something.”

He takes off his shirt, his muscles highlighted differently in the low lit kitchen. I couldn’t help but stare as he gets on his knees, his face eye level with my pussy. 

God, I could never get over this view. 

He presses forward, giving my inner thighs kisses and small little love bites. 

He hooks both legs over his shoulders and dives in. He doesn’t start slow, oh no, he goes full starving-man-mode. He starts using his tongue to write the alphabet up and down my slit. When he finds my clit, he wraps his lips around and sucks. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” I moan, “Don’t stop!”

He breaks away, only to put his index and middle finger into his mouth. He watches me as he traces my slit with his fingers, smiling as he sinks them into my hole. When he’s satisfied with my reaction, he finds his way back to my clit.

Between his fingers fucking me and his mouth working magic on my bud, I scream out not able to contain the build up I feel in my stomach. He only increases his speed, the wet lapping sounds only causing me to burst. 

He fucks me through it, as I moan his name over and over again. 

He pulls his fingers out of me, and stands up from his spot. My ass stays half on the counter and half falling off. I am basically only propped up by his leg. 

“Now that I got one out of you, little one,” He suggests, “’m going to fuck you until you can’t stand.”

I was so fucked out of my mind, I’m like jelly in his hands. He shimmies his pants off, his boxers tented by how hard he was. I just smile at the affect I had on him. 

“You okay to stand?”

I giggle, “I don’t think so, sir.”

As soon as I say it, I don’t have to worry about standing anymore. He reaches for my waist and repositions me on the counter. I stare down between us, his hard cock rubs my sensitive slit. 

“You’re so pretty, little one,” I hear him in my daze, but before I can respond, he eases himself into me. I moan out due to the glorious stretch, letting him get fully sheathed inside me. Instead of keeping me on the counter, he hooks his arms under my knees and lifts me up. In my shock, I wrap my arms around him, tucking my face into the crook of his neck. 

He sets a brutal pace, not paying much mind to my groans. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable, it was just so much. 

My mind goes back to what he said, which only gets me more riled up. 

“God, I’m so full,” I moan into his ear, “You’re so good to me.”

I can feel his smile, “Better than you’ll ever have, baby.”

“You’re all I want,” I say absentmindedly, “I’m all yours.”

He props me back on the counter, pulling out of me briefly. He is throwing me around almost like a ragdoll. He lifts me up and spins me so I’m facing away from him. He moves my arms, so I can actually prop myself up on the counter. He lines back up, pushing himself back inside me. From this position, he somehow hits me in different places. He readjusts my body before settling back into a faster pace. With his right hand on my covered tit, his left hand reaches up to my throat. The sounds of slapping are so overstimulating in the best way possible. I couldn’t get enough. 

“All,” Thrust, “Fucking,” Thrust, “Mine.���

I feel the warmth in my stomach again. It had to be the mixture of him calling me his and the fact that his dick was hitting me in just the right spot. As soon as I hit my tipping point, it’s like he could tell because he slows down, his hand traveling down to my clit again. I fall over the edge, my eyes rolling back into my head as I moan out his name. My entire body is tense until it’s not. I fall forward, but before my head catches the edge of the counter, he holds me up against him. 

“I’m ‘bout to cum,” he groans, still fucking into me, “Want me inside?”

“Cum inside me, Joel,” I beg, hardly able to project my voice. 

I’m at his mercy, as he spills inside of me all the while telling me what I good girl I am. I finally find my footing, as he slips his cock out of me, letting his cum drip down my legs. He releases my body, walking away from me for a moment. I try to get ahold of my bearings, but all I can think is how I never want to stop doing this. I want more. 

I need more. 

“Here, turn to me baby,” He mumbles. I turn around noting the damp rag he has. He gets on one knee, using the rag to clean up his cum off my legs. I’m still very sensitive, so when he gets close to my mound, I jolt. It makes him giggle. 

Post-orgasm clarity started to hit me. I watch him stand up and lay the rag in the kitchen sink next to our plates. He was so fucking beautiful, his body glistening with sweat. He had to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. 

“You okay?”

I wet my lips, “I think I need you to fuck me every day.”

His beautiful smile reappears, “Is that so?”

I nod quickly, “Yes, sir.”

He creeps closer to me, his hand lacing around my waist again. 

“I’m sure that could be arranged,” He leans down and kisses my shoulder blade, “Now, which movie should we watch?”

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

reach for the stars

cw. olnf week 2024, pre!release, step 3-4 (step 1 flashback), established!relationship

pairing. sparkling leaves

notes. day 4 of @olnfweek2024. arguably the day i was looking forward to the most because i had a very creative interpretation of the stargazing prompt. i can't believe i've written consistently 4 days in a row for an event week, that's the power of olnf i guess

“Did you know I can hold stars in my hands?” 

“Really?” Tamarack perked up at Nyla’s sudden revelation, raspberry eyes wide in amazement.

“Uh huh!” Nyla grinned, scooting closer to her best friend on the leaf-dappled ground.

It was a good day in Golden Grove. First and foremost, it was Friday, the best of all weekdays. Mrs. Murray played The Nightmare Before Christmas for the last half-hour of class and even passed out cookies. The day was only made better when Mom didn’t mind if Tamarack spent the whole weekend at their place. Until the hour drew for dinner and bedtime near, though, the two girls were content to play in the forest they called a backyard.

It had only been a few months since Nyla and her mother moved to the mountainous town in Oregon but it felt like she’d known Tamarack Baumann her entire life.

“Show me,” Tamarack whispered in awed excitement. Tamarack believed in the magic of the world as easily as she breathed, both of them did. If Nyla could do something as magical as holding stars in her hand, she wanted to see it.

“Alright,” Nyla started coyly, shifting so that she sat in front of Tamarack. “But you have to close your eyes first.”

Tamarack squeezed her eyes shut fiercely, giggling all the while. 

Nyla had met a lot of people in her 10 ーalmost 11!ー years of living.

Some of them had black hair like her and her parents. Some of them had green. Some of the people she met even had hair that was red, pink, purple or peach! But none of them ever had hair that sparkled, Tamarack was the first and only. 

It was amazing.

Nyla had plenty of questions about it ーwhere the sparkles came from, how they never fell off when Tamarack’s grandma brushed themー but Tamarack never had any good answers about it. Her hair just sparkled, that’s all there was to it. It’s something simply Tamarack. Nyla thought that was the answer she liked the most.

“Tada!” Tamarack opened her eyes and excitement turned into surprise as she took in how close their faces were.

“Where are the stars?” Tamarack blinked up at the taller girl.

“I’m holding onto them already,” Nyla beamed, heart fluttering as she held gamboge waves in her hand. They sparkled like a million precious jewels. It’s hard to breathe as Tamarack’s berry-red eyes look up at her, just as shiny as the sparkling hair that frames them. Tamarack Baumann is the prettiest girl in the world, Nyla knew this was the truth in its purest form. No one came close, not even Brittany Taylor who kids like Adrian Woodward swore was the prettiest girl in school. Nyla wiggled her fingers, marveling at every individual speckle that glinted in the process. “I’m holding stars in my hands.”

“That’s my hair, Nyla,” Tamarack giggled, shaking her head gently so as to not snag her hair on Nyla’s fingers. In spite of her protest, Tamarack’s cheeks were flushed. “That’s not a star.”

“Nope,” Nyla emphasized the ‘p’ stubbornly but mirthfully, brushing her thumbs across Tamarack’s fluffy locks. She felt as pink as Tamarack’s cheeks, both of them smiling widely despite their differing views. “I’m holding stars.”

Nyla chuckles lightly at the memory as her thumb and index finger toy with a lock of her girlfriend’s hair. Sitting in the living room of Tamarack’s childhood home, watching the Cinderella movie Brandy and Whitney Houston with Tamarack is a far cry from the young girls they once were running amok through the forest. Back then, their responsibilities were few and far in between. Presently, they were simply housesitting for the Baumann elders as they went on a trip to Long Beach to celebrate their 50th anniversary.

I was obsessed with Tam’s hair back then. Watching the soft golden speckles glint in the dim glow of the television, Nyla’s lips curl into a lazy smile. They’re laying in a comfortable position on the convertible couch mattress, Tamarack resting her head on Nyla’s chest. Not much has changed, I guess.

One cool day in autumn, Nyla moved to Golden Grove and was struck with a paper airplane that changed the trajectory of her life forever.

But considering how we were neighbors, we would’ve met eventually. Plus we had school the next day too. Logic is pushed aside for the magic that was their first meeting. Fate had been at work that particular day Tamarack caught sight of a bright-eyed fellow new kid looking for something to throw herself into. Nyla wouldn’t have their first meeting go any other way.

Girls like Tamarack should be met in the forest.

Looking at the soft, sparkling crown that grows from her head, however, Nyla thinks girls like Tamarack can be met under the light of the moon too.

But with how she carries the stars with her wherever she goes, my girl can go wherever she wants. Nyla presses a firm kiss atop Tamarack’s head and her girlfriend giggles, arms squeezing just a firmer. She may have lost a portion of her enthusiastic squeeze but Tamarack still gives the best hugs Nyla’s ever received.

Tamarack shifts so that she is able to look at Nyla properly, a serene smile adorning her face. “Hey you,” she murmurs softly against the sound of Prince Christopher’s parents fussing over the party preparations for his birthday.

“Hey,” Nyla’s fingers run through Tamarack’s chin-length hair without shame.

Tamarack’s eyes squint with a gentle but playful gleam, “you’re not paying attention to the movie are you?”

Nyla doesn’t argue against the observation, “oops,” she says despite sounding not particularly bothered she’s been caught. “Looks like you caught me. Guilty as charged.” We’ve seen this movie a million times anyway. Nyla is sure she could quote it in her sleep. Could sing the songs in perfect harmony, mostly perfect. She only gets to look at Tamarack in this specific moment once and she is going to cherish each and every second.

“And what’s got your mind so preoccupied,” Tamarack inquires dreamily.

“Just stargazing,” Nyla murmurs before pressing their lips together.

not enough people wax poetic about the fact tamarack's hair sparkles, so i decided to go full throttle

[strictlyfavorites]

Donovan Edwards #7 above

HOUSTON — It's now how you start, the classic sports trope says. It's how you finish.

Turns out, the answer is both.

Behind a powerful running game, Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines put together stellar first and fourth quarters in a 34-13 triumph over the Washington Huskies to win the 2023 national championship.

On the opening possession at NRG Stadium, Kalel Mullings slipped out of a tackle to pick up 14 yards before Donovan Edwards rushed for a 41-yard touchdown. Edwards ripped off a 46-yard scoring scamper on the next drive, and Blake Corum soon followed with a 59-yard sprint.

Nine carries, 174 yards, two touchdowns.

And that was merely the opening frame.

Michigan's initial surge on the ground sparked the final victory of the team's 15-0 campaign—one that secured the program's first national title since a shared 1997 crown.

Monday brought a familiar blueprint for Michigan, which focused on the run while the defense owned the game.

Washington quarterback Michael Penix Jr. zipped his picturesque spiral throughout the night. However, the Maize and Blue prevented an offense that entered bowl season leading the country in passes of 30-plus yards from completing such a throw for nearly 53 minutes.

In total, the Dawgs mustered 301 yards with Penix averaging a meager 5.0 yards per attempt on 51 throws. He tossed two interceptions and dealt with constant pressure from Michigan's disruptive front.

That defensive effort proved vital for the Wolverines, who struggled to move the ball in the middle quarters.

They managed a field goal after Will Johnson snatched an interception on the first play of the second half. Otherwise, the offense had a stretch of five punts and a turnover on downs. The lull allowed Washington to hang around until the midpoint of the fourth quarter.

Clinging to a 20-13 lead, Michigan found some breathing room.

Colston Loveland's 41-yard reception led to Corum's decisive 12-yard touchdown run with 7:09 left in regulation.

Washington drove inside the 30-yard line on the ensuing possession, but U-M's star nickelback Mike Sainristil picked off a 4th-and-13 prayer, returned it 81 yards and set up Corum's second touchdown.

Michigan closed the victory with 303 yards and four trips to the end zone on the ground. Corum collected a team-high 134 yards and two scores, while Edwards added 104 yards and two touchdowns on just six carries. Plus, quarterback J.J. McCarthy chipped in 31 yards.

And the celebration was on.

Nine adventurous years into his tenure—one which may be ending in the immediate future if rumblings of his potential return to the NFL are true—Jim Harbaugh is a national champion.

The prodigal son, officially, has brought his alma mater back to the top of the sport's proverbial mountain.

If that was Harbaugh's final game, what a fitting way to finish.

HC Jim Harbaugh

During the last three seasons, the Wolverines have boasted one of the sport's best offensive lines. Michigan earned the Joe Moore Award—which is given annually to the country's top offensive line—in both 2021 and 2022 before Washington landed the honor in 2023.

Earlier in the week, U-M left tackle LaDarius Henderson told On3's Andy Staples that "it definitely stings" the blocking unit missed out on a three-peat.

Winning a national title in that fashion is a decent consolation prize.

The future of the program will rapidly become the greatest focus in Ann Arbor; Harbaugh understandably side-stepped questions about the NFL at multiple media availabilities throughout the week.

On this night in Houston, however, the nation's No. 1 team won in the same manner it had all year: Run the ball and shut 'em down defensively.

Michigan started the season that way, never wavered and rode the philosophy to a third consecutive Big Ten title and third straight trip to the College Football Playoff.

It's how you start. It's how you finish.

And the Wolverines have ended as national champions.

[b-afterhours]

Avenue of Sins: Neon

A Sequel to Avenue of Sins

SUMMARY: ‘90s. It’s the aftermath. Jaded, Bill and Alma navigate their new lives as they try to drag themselves out of the dark debaucherous trenches they had once ensnared themselves in. It’s easy to forget their evils when a silver lining introduces itself into their lives but can they create a less hedonistic life that would be just as satisfying?

WARNINGS: adult content, mature readers only.

The completed first series can be read and found here.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Alma

She was born in Houston, Texas, in the spring of 1962. Her father, Antonio, was a multigenerational Tejano. Her mother, Maria, from Jalisco, Mexico, lived in Texas. They met through her brother. He and her father worked as young men together doing commercial landscaping. One day, he was invited for a cold beer after a hot, sticky, humid day on the job. On her brother’s orders, she met the men sitting under the shade of the back porch with two bottles of beer for them. Politely, he took off his hat and thanked her, and from then on, he couldn't stop thinking about her. 

Alma was nine months old when they left Texas. She had no recollection of her life there. Her parents left with others, mostly friends, who told them about good-paying work in Missouri. So they took the chance. Starting over fresh as a family unit now. They lived short-term in several other places until they ultimately settled in Strathburg when she was four. So it was the only place she’d ever known. 

Growing up in the town, however, came with some strife. They didn’t look like everyone else. They had tan skin, and their names were difficult for the hicks to pronounce. She didn’t know it then, as she was too young, but when she got older, she could recall the racist remarks being made about them. Her parents didn’t fight it, instead they took it. Eventually, everyone realized that they couldn’t run them out of town, and so they tolerated them. 

Her parents were as good as you’d want any parents to be. They wanted her so badly. They loved her so fiercely. Her dad would toss a ball around with her, and her mom would let her play in her makeup. They did their best to keep up with her, even in their older age. However, she could see a look flash across their faces, distant and mournful at times. Her mother thought of her sister Liliana, wondering if she had lived, would she and Alma look alike. Her dad taught her to be independent because he didn’t know how long he and his wife would be around for her. Around him, she was a bit of a tomboy, learning to do oil changes and fixing flat tires. Activities he would have taught his son Leo if he had lived. 

She learned she was under the shadow of her deceased siblings rather quickly. Ever since she could remember, they had an altar in their home under a framed photo of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Her hands clasped and her gaze low, keeping watch of the little white ceramic urn that stored their porcelain ashes. It may have been macabre to some, but Alma never thought it any different.

Being an only child, some nights she wished for them too. Wished to not be so lonely, wished that her parents wouldn’t look at her sadly in times they thought she didn’t notice. They loved her, but she was a reminder of what was lost and what they could have had too.

She longed to be seen. She was given freedom in exchange for good grades. Even if it was the late ‘70s and most kids were left to their own devices, she was the only focus of her parents. There was not much you could do when there was no one else to blame. 

When she was thirteen, she went shopping with her mother for clothes that were more in style. Her mother freaked when she put on a more form-hugging cap-sleeve blouse. They left with knits and formless tunics, much to her dismay and protests. Alma’s body was changing, and that upset her mother. It worried her. That evening, Alma pulled a tee-shirt taut behind herself and looked at her reflection in the vanity mirror. She had boobs. She knew that, but she didn’t think about it any other way other than she was growing up. This was what was supposed to happen. That night, she saw just another thing that made her different. They were big for her age. She looked down at her hips, and they seemed even wider now, too. Her body was now just another barrier that kept her from being seen.

At the town record store, she perused the bins for something new. She’d venture into many genres that summer after her freshman year of high school. Rock being one. All mainstream bands, but she liked what she heard. One day she came across a punk album, and she quickly let go of it, shocked by the band's vulgar name. She took a gamble, sheepishly bought it, and held it close to her chest when she got home and went straight to her room with it.

It was like her brain was rewired and mashed at the same time, hearing the scratchy guitars, heavily thrumming bass, clashing drums, and lyrics rapidly being screamed. All somehow in rhythm and yet offbeat together. She just wanted to listen to more and more and found anything she could get her hands on that summer. It gave space for this silent rage she had inside herself from years of staying in line. The angst of wanting to break out of where she was and grow elsewhere. The very in-your-face feeling of being unapologetically yourself and abandoning the notion of conforming. Just wanting to scream at people to fuck off and dig deeper instead of taking what was expected of them. 

…

1981

It was a hot day in late spring. It was the weekend, and she made plans to be at the latest field party, one way or another. Her fringe backpack was packed with extra clothes, her shoes, and cuter underwear. Her mom entered the kitchen, seeing her pack the burritos she had made to go in the same bag. 

“Entonces vas a Carla's?” She asked. She was dressed comfortably, feeling and looking better than she usually did. 

“Si, amá. Ya me voy.” She said securing her bag before putting it on.

“Mm. Y cómo llegas?” 

“Con mis roller skates.” She smiled.

Maria pursed her lips a little. “Pues. Be careful.” 

“Si, amá. I’m spending the night so-”

“Preguntaste a tu papá?” 

“He said yes.” 

“Ah, ok. Pues cuídate, mi amor.” She said, kissing her daughter on the cheek.

Alma pushed off her roller skates on the smooth road at a leisurely pace. Enjoying the sun and the breeze running through her thick hair, which had grown out since she impulsively cut it short during late fall. Her parents weren’t very happy about that. Especially her mother, but in the end, her dad defended it and said he thought it was pretty despite not preferring it.

A male neighbor with his children was washing his truck outside his home and waved at her as she passed by before she made a sharp left turn. The opposite way from Carla’s home. It was just a short detour to Bill’s house. That week had been a bit awkward between them. They hung out fairly often outside school, but that was usually mostly on weekends. They only had one class together in school, and their lunch schedules switched every other day because they were on different block schedules. It was never an issue. But after last weekend, Bill remained fairly distant from the beginning of the week until that past Wednesday, when they ate lunch together. 

As she strolled closer to Bill’s home, she could see him outside on the pathway leading to the porch, crushing aluminum beer cans with his heavy second-hand combat boots and tossing the crumpled metal into an old wheelbarrow. 

“Hey!” Alma yelled, coming to a stop as she rolled up his driveway. 

“Hey,” he smiled, scratching his bare arm a bit sheepishly. He was wearing a ratty black sleeveless shirt and jeans, which he reserved to do work in. They were stained with random paint splatters and tattered. Ready for daily wear now that they are well-worn in. “What are you doing here?” He asked, tossing the rest of the cans into the wheelbarrow. 

“I’m on my way to Carla’s. Her parents are away.” She said, skating up the cleared pathway to stand closer to him. 

“Like for real? Or do you want to hang?” 

“For real.” She giggled because sometimes Carla was used as a cover. “But I wanted to drop this off.” She shrugged a backpack strap off and swung it around to her front. Bill looked down at her as she dug inside it. She looked pretty today, he thought, but he thought that every time he saw her. “I ended up with extra so,” she said, handing him two burritos wrapped in wax paper. “It’s potato and like serrano, onions, and tomatoes. Uh, you’ll see.” She said quickly, feeling a bit embarrassed because she had been made fun of for the ethnic food she ate by classmates in the past. 

“Rad. Thanks. Thank you.” He could kiss her if he allowed himself to. He was starving. Really fucking starving. He only had white bread and a tin of unnaturally pink, salty potted meat to eat that day. 

The rumble in his stomach pained him now that he knew he had proper food in his hands. He would have been ashamed if anyone else had given him food, but Alma never made him feel like some charity case. It was always genuine and caring. Yet he held off on monstrously devouring the burritos in the presence of a lady and placed them on a chair by the front door for later like a civilized person.

“Um, are you going to take off already or?” 

“I guess I could hang out a little?” She lightly shrugged.

Bill grabbed the handles of the wheelbarrow, and then he looked down at her skates. “Get in.” He nodded towards it.

“No way,” she laughed. “I’ll get cut.” 

“You’ll be fine. Surface area, you know.” 

“Oh, so you do pay attention in class.” 

“Get in.” He impatiently said with a boyish smirk on his face. 

As gently as she could, Alma sat on top of the crushed tins, clinking together and digging into her lower back when he began to push her to his backyard. They laughed together as mischievous children would. 

“What’s with the TVs?” She asked when Bill helped her out of the wheelbarrow. His hand discretely grazed her hip as he did so. 

“Uh, they have copper in ‘em. Scotty found them on the side of the road and dropped them off to me yesterday.” 

Bill had been scrapping metal for months now. Aluminum, brass, and copper from wherever he could get them. Saving up money for his move to New York City. He helped her sit on top of an old, rusty washer and watched as he stuck long pieces of gray duct tape to the glass screen of a TV. 

“What are you and Carla getting into?” He asked, crouched down and ripping a piece of tape with his teeth. 

“The field party.” She tilted her head at him. “You never said if you were going or not?” 

“Eh…” he said with apprehension as he smoothed down the strip of tape. His fingernails were speckled with flecks of chipped black nail polish.

Just then the worn-out screen door opened and out emerged his brother Gustaf in the midst of pulling a shirt on.

“Hey!” He yelled to his younger brother, and then he softened a bit once he noticed he had company. “Oh. I’m leaving.” He informed. “Hi, Alma.” 

“Hi.” She nodded. 

She didn’t really have an opinion of him. Usually, he kept to himself a lot when she was around, respecting their privacy. In both instances, his oldest brother, whom she’d only met twice, was barreling back into the house drunk. Kicked out of a paramour's house for the night smelling of cigarettes and some sickly sweet scent underlined it. The other times she saw him, he was passed out, unaware of anything going on around him. In the times when his father was home, Bill never allowed her to stay over and instead opted to go to hers. It was a bit of a haven for him in those times. 

“Yeah. Okay,” Bill said dismissively as his brother saw himself out. “But, uh,” he sighed as he turned his attention back to Alma. “I don’t know. It’s the same shit every time.” 

Alma rolled her eyes. “What else is there to do around here?” 

“Everyone’s gone now.” He gestured toward the house. “We could watch a movie or something? We could watch The Warriors.” 

Alma bit her lip in thought. She could stay, and maybe what happened last weekend could progress. However, she had promised Carla, who hadn’t been to the field parties yet, that she’d take her. 

“I can’t,” she said apologetically. “Just go. It’s the last one of the school year.” 

“How are you getting there?” He questioned.

“Tara has a car now. Early grad’ present.” 

Bill scoffed. “Shit.” 

He didn’t really like half the group of girls she often hung around with. They weren’t very nice to him if they was forced into some interaction in class. Otherwise, they left him alone. They didn’t understand Alma’s relationship with him either, but they chalked it up to her, feeling sorry for him as if he were a clingy, stray dog. In many ways, they found her strange, too.

“I doubt she’d be thrilled, giving me a ride.” He said, grabbing an old wooden baseball bat, leaning against the washer she sat on before helping her back on her skates. 

Alma frowned, looking up at him. “There wouldn’t be room either way. Nadine is coming too.” 

“My brother just left with the car.” He scoffed in frustration, scratching the nape of his neck in thought. “I guess I could call Scotty.” 

“So you’re going?” She smiled. 

“We'll see.” He winked as he handed the bat over to her. “Here. Smash the screen in.” 

Alma skated up to the TV, and with a downward swing, she connected with it. A slight crack could be heard, but it wasn’t so impressive, which made Bill laugh. 

“Oh c’mon. Harder.” 

Alma steadied on her skates and pulled the bat back further and put more strength into the second swing. The screen satisfyingly caved in. They both laughed with glee at the destruction. It felt even a little cathartic. The duct tape contained the glass, and when Bill carefully peeled it away, it revealed the spiderweb pattern skittering away from the bat’s blow. 

“Are you actually going to call Scotty?” Alma asked him just before leaving, shuffling on her skates backward on the road. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you there.” He said absent-mindedly, grabbing a lock of hair that was resting on her shoulder. It made her hold her breath involuntarily. 

Once she left, he scarfed down the burritos she had given him, and he could physically feel his body absorbing the nutrients from it. He moaned with satisfaction, even. They were gone in what felt like an instant, and he frowned. He mostly relied on school lunches to keep him fed, but of course, it just wasn’t as good as a homemade meal. It was better by miles.

He walked to his neighbor's house, sniffling a bit from the spiciness of the peppers, and was greeted by the redhead preteen girl who lived there, asking to use their house phone. She was completely unimpressed by him. Once, Bill warned her that she shouldn’t answer the door for just anyone, as it wasn’t so safe to do so.

“I know that,” she snarkily retorted. “But it’s just you.”

His phone line had been cut off for weeks now as his father left the bill unpaid. How he hated living the way he did. Every issue he was met with was just so very inconvenient. All he had motivating himself now was that, soon, he would be gone. In a new city where he could have some control over his life for once. While he knew it wouldn’t be a cakewalk, at least there was no one else to blame but himself.

The only thing he wished was that he could take Alma with him. Their plans for their future were swiftly diverging further away as the school year was coming to an end. No longer would they hang out in town or sleep over each other’s places. No more taking his brother’s car to do donuts in a vacant parking lot when they should be asleep. It would just be phone calls or letters. Maybe he could convince her to eventually meet him in New York, but knowing her, he had to be delicate with how to propose that idea. She would jump on the moment to leave with him rather than go to college. He recognized that she was impulsive in a way. He didn’t want that. His future wasn’t as secure as hers, and he didn’t want to hold her back. He’d feel shitty about himself if he did. 

~~~

Alma was with Carla now, in her room, hot-gluing a paper clip she bent in half to a beer bottle cap. Carla was a bit pious and a lot more sheltered than Alma was. She was also an only child, and they came from the same cultural background. Their mothers would arrange playdates for them as children, and they have remained friends since. 

Alma plucked cooled, hairlike strands of hot glue off the bottle cap before passing it off to make another. The bottle caps she found were collected inside a plastic margarine container, and when Bill asked what she wanted them for, she lied and said she was thinking of making a bottle cap belt. In reality, she was making Barbie furniture—an end table, in this instance—for Carla’s doll house. She would rather die than have Bill find out she still played with dolls sometimes. A few years ago, she had gotten rid of all her childish toys and came to regret it in the end, but luckily Carla still held on to hers and didn’t mind sharing. Who knew that in the future, Bill would be playing with his own real-life dolls one day? Especially with her.

“Did you bring the books?” Carla timidly asked. She had paused, painting the end table with pink metallic nail varnish.

“Oh!” Alma said, pushing off the floor and crawling over to her backpack just to drag it back. “Yeah. I haven’t read the fantasy one yet. You’ll have to tell me if it’s good, but this other one has a firefighter. A cute one, too.” She smirked, handing the romance novels over to her. 

She had to smuggle them to her friend because her parents were a bit strict. Alma hid hers only because she would be mortified if her parents knew the subject matter inside them. She wouldn’t know how to explain herself. It would just open her up to a whole other can of worms. Her parents knew of her friendship with Bill, but they believed it to be innocent, or as innocent as they believed their daughter to be, at least. They thought she knew better and was taught better than to entertain the advances of men. However, she was a teenage girl, and while doing more than heavy petting was daunting, she was just too curious. Her body, she knew, gave her power most don’t often get. The problem, though, is that she didn’t trust so easily. She only trusted one person, who seemed not to be too interested in her. At least not as interested as most teen boys would be, especially with the access she granted. 

“You know, there are some cute FFA boys that go to the field. I met one who was a volunteer firefighter once.” 

Carla bashfully clasped her mouth as she giggled. “But I can’t… I don’t know how to talk to boys.” 

“You don’t have to. Just let them look, you know?” She playfully widened her eyes.

“Hmm.” She bit her lip in thought. “I don’t have anything to wear. Help me? What are you wearing?” 

Alma smiled excitedly when she asked. “It’s new. I went to the mall with Tara a few weeks ago, and,” she paused, digging in her back and pulling out a black halter top with a flowy midriff. “And then, these jeans.” She stood up then, holding the tight black jeans against her body.

“Your mom let you get that?” 

“Obviously not,” Alma laughed. “But I’m eighteen now. I should be able to wear what I want.” 

“I mean, yeah…” Carla said nervously. Even if she admired the garments, she just didn’t have the courage within herself to wear them if she had the option. Besides that, she had never seen Alma in anything but mostly formless tunics. “I know you’ll look pretty in it!” 

“Are you two really playing with that for real?” Carla’s cousin asked with her mouthful as she was eating a moon pie when she walked back into the room. Mayra was in town from Houston and was a year older than them.

Alma noticed her friend frown and didn’t like that. “What’s the issue?” She asked, but Mayra’s only response was to roll her kohl-lined eyes at her.

~~~

At his home, Bill was enjoying the space alone for once. He was in his bedroom in only white briefs, looking through his dresser with a skinny joint between his lips, and listening to radio music at a light volume. From his dresser, he pulled out an army green button-down he had gotten from an army surplus store. With a red magic marker, he had decorated it with an anarchist symbol on the breast pocket. He laid down in bed undressed, and taking the last puff of his joint, he closed his eyes, contemplating. 

While he did find the field parties to be repetitious, Alma was right. It was something to do. However, that wasn’t the reason he was so indecisive about going. It was because lately, he couldn’t stand to see Alma talking to boys or vice versa. He knew he didn’t have any right to feel that way, as they were only just friends. Even reminding her as much. Yet, in the last few months, they have been rather flirtatious. In the way, they spoke to each other. Their hands touching and caressing in loving ways. Holding hands while walking home from school or their sleepovers, where they would innocently sleep, but still their bodies met and cuddled.

It was such an instance in which he went too far. In Alma’s bedroom, like any old night, he had gone before. When he arrived, he briefly watched her outside the open window. She was sitting on a violet shag rug in the middle of her floor, painting her toenails blood-red, unaware that there were eyes on her. She was in a white, knee-length baby doll nightgown, her damp hair was French braided, and her face was fresh and bare. He could hear her humming to herself as she dipped the brush back into the polish bottle, twisting it closed. 

“Hey,” Bill said as his lanky frame climbed through her window. 

She gasped loudly and clutched her chest, startled by him. “Bill?!” She harshly whispered. She pulled her nightgown down to cover her lap, as she wasn’t particularly sitting modestly, thinking she was alone. 

“Shh.” He lightly laughed, sitting on the floor next to her. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“You didn’t scare me.” 

“Mhmm.” 

They hung out for a little. She even painted his fingernails with black polish, asking what he did that day. It was late when he arrived, so once their polish dried, they were in bed. He brought his copy of a dystopian sci-fi graphic novel to read alongside her under the dim light of a bedside lamp she draped a red chiffon scarf over. Alma listened to him softly read it out loud to her, making different voices for the characters and all. They started the novel the weekend prior, and he picked up where they had left off. She yawned just before he could get to the climax of the story, and he laid the book on his chest to look at her. 

“Sorry, I had work this morning.” She said with heavy eyes and nuzzled her head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, yeah,” Bill said understandingly. He had come to know that she would work at the local Dairy Queen during the summers, but she started a month early for extra money for college. 

They slept under the covers, inches apart, as if they were leaving any substantial room for Jesus. Their mornings together, they’d be pressed against each other in some way. That early morning was a bit different, though. He had woken slightly and moved his hips away from her bottom. He wore soft shorts, which he wore under his jeans that he had taken off before getting into bed. He felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment over the erection he had woken up with.

It wasn’t the first time his body betrayed him in this way, but usually, he’d back away from her and tuck it into his waistband, ignoring it. He wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t particularly proud of how he lost it. He wasn’t even seeking out sex when it presented itself to him, in the form of an early 20s-something hippy straggler living in his home. Charlene had been making passes at him, which he just couldn't pick up at fourteen, almost fifteen years old. He thought she was interested in the weird, nerdy things he spoke about. Maybe she was in a way, but it wasn’t so sincere in hindsight. 

In their first encounter, she placed a hand on his hairy thigh, and he froze a bit. The next thing he knew, she was blowing him on the couch, and he was scared out of his mind as they were in the living room and anyone could have walked in at any time. He came into her mouth, and she swallowed it, much to his shock. She laughed when she saw his large green eyes looking at her in disbelief with a hint of disgust. He spent a few weeks confused and conflicted about it, as she was technically with his brother, Gustaf. Then they were alone one night. He walked into his bedroom, and she was lying there in his bed with dirty feet and giggling at the nude magazine she found under his pillow. 

“Do you want to see mine?” She asked, pointing at a photo of a nude woman seductively spread eagle on the hood of a muscle car. 

He gave her a strange look because he had seen hers a handful of times now after her showers, but he wasn’t that naive. He knew exactly what she meant. He hadn’t been with anyone else since, at least not that closely. There were other girls from his old school he’d fool around with, but Charlene had laughed and teased at how fast he came his first time. Even so much as taunting at the mess he made on his belly and chest. It messed with his head for a long while. 

With Alma, it was different. He knew if they did anything, he would never get the fuck out of Missouri. That type of intimacy wouldn’t do either of them any favors in the grand scheme of things. He caught himself wanting to kiss her multiple times now, and as their friendship grew, the urge to be closer was getting more and more apparent between them. They were friends, but they didn’t behave as friends would lately. Especially when they knew they were on borrowed time.

Bill took a deep breath and tried to find sleep again until Alma scooted back and pressed her bottom against him again. He stilled for a moment. It felt as if she had awakened too, but he couldn’t be certain because he didn’t want to peer over to confirm it. She rutted her bottom against him again, and her nightgown slipped up, revealing her basic white, floral underwear to him. He bit his lip and gulped. 

Alma lay there with her heart racing, pretending to be asleep. An uncomfortable dampness was between her legs. It wasn’t the first time she had felt him at attention against her. More often he’d sleep through it, but it seemed as if he were more aware of it lately and would shift his hips away from her. She felt his hand on her hip, trying to smooth her nightgown back down. Instead, she grabbed it and slowly dragged it over to the front of her sex. Her eyes remained closed, and his hand froze in place. 

She could feel his chest rise nervously. They remained silent, but suddenly some mutual agreement was made between them in the quiet. They would do this, but fall back on the claim that they were asleep and had no recollection of it. Neither would ever mention this moment, too embarrassed about their teenage urges even as adults. 

Bill cupped her sex as she ground her bottom onto him. In turn, it stimulated the bundle of sensitive nerves ever so beneath her underwear. She could feel him hard-pressed against her bottom and the small of her back. Shallow breaths escaped them, enjoying the feeling. Alma’s breath hitched when he applied more pressure with his hand. He could feel her wetness soak through her panties, but he didn’t dare touch her so directly. The sense of her arousal and the thought of doing so undid him. He held her tightly as he humped and huffed until completion into his boxers. 

They both stilled themselves, too scared to even speak or confront what had just transpired. Instead, they both pretended to sleep until he gained the courage to rise out of bed. He lightly shook her shoulder, waking her, and whispered that he needed to help his brother with something that day.

“Hm, okay…” Alma said, meeting his eyes, but they were avoidant. “I’ll see you later, then?” 

“Um, yeah…” He said, pulling up his pants, but not before Alma had noticed the wet spot on his shorts. 

He then avoided her for a few days at school until he got over himself. When he spoke to her again, she acted as if it never happened. Ignoring both the incident and the silent treatment. For which he was grateful, but there was an obvious shift. 

Bill finally got out of bed and got dressed after jerking off about it like he had been all week. This time it was out of necessity because there was a high chance he’d be alone with her at some point. He didn’t want to pop a boner he knew he wasn’t going to do anything with. Regardless, he tugged on the chain to his wallet and opened it, double-checking if he still had a condom inside, just in case. 

Scotty was obnoxiously honking the car horn outside Bill’s house while he stole sprays of his oldest brother’s cologne before leaving. He checked himself in the broken mirror by the front door and unbuttoned his shirt to his chest, showing the white tank underneath. He wanted to look nicer than he usually did, but this would have to do.

“Taking forever, man!” Scotty laughed. He was a friend from his old school, but he had already graduated a year before. 

“Yeah, whatever.” He fist-bumped him and tossed his leather jacket in the back seat. “Thanks for picking me up. I can give you some gas money.” 

“Not a problem, dude. Just roll up a few while we head up there. The stuff is in the glove box.” He said tapping it. “Oh. And we're pickin’ up Jones.” 

Once Jones joined them, they were on their way. Bill sat with his knees together to hold the Mad Magazine in his lap, using it as a tray to break up the weed to roll up. Scotty was vivaciously speaking about random things and laughing at his own jokes. He was a good-natured guy, but sometimes he could be too high-energy. Jones, however, was more even-mannered, just along for the ride. He wasn’t even so much like them either in regard to sharing similar interests. But being one of the few black kids in town and befriending two white punk kids who didn’t mind scraping with others of their kind provided some buffer of protection.

“Are any of her friends cute?” Scotty asked Bill, passing a lit joint to him. 

“Eh,” Bill shrugged as he took a hit. 

“He only thinks his girl is cute,” Jones laughed in the back seat. 

“They’re okay,” Bill said, exchanging the joint for the flask of Jim Beam with Jones. “For you two, losers.” He laughed as they scoffed with offense. 

“You gonna ask Alma out, dude? Or is it still NEW YORK, NEW YORK!” His outburst was sung to the tune of Frank Sinatra’s ode to the city. 

“Impressive.” Jones quickly quipped as he passed the joint back to him.

“Oh. Yeah, you like that, Jones,” He winked at him through the reflection of his rearview mirror to which his friend just chuckled. “Anyway, as I was saying.” He said, turning his attention back to Bill.

Bill gave him a strange look. “Yeah…”

“Ah, well. I guess you can’t have it all.” Scotty lamented. “There are tons of other babes out there, though. But before we get off subject, I have a song for you, Billy.” He chuckled deviously, searching around the center console for an 8-track. 

He ejected the 8-track that was in the player before and popped the new one in. After he skipped a few tracks, a familiar bass riff began playing, and he turned the volume dial up. Bill shook his head, annoyed yet amused. It was Why Can’t I Touch It by the Buzzcocks. 

“You dickhead! I told you that shit in confidence.” He said, but he laughed along with the boys in the car.

~~~

It was dark around the edges of the bonfire at the field party. Carla was feeling a bit wary and uncomfortable. Alma helped her choose a nice skirt, which she helped hem with discrete stitches to meet her knees. There wasn’t much Alma could help her with because her closet didn’t have much to work with. The most she was able to accomplish was curl her hair and let her borrow her red lipstick to wear. 

Alma and her cousin, Mayra, were talking to country boys from a neighboring town as she stood by awkwardly. People who lived in the circumference of the field would all meet and mingle, coming together to drink, smoke, and maybe get lucky. Alma was taking a swig of an unknown brown liquor being passed around, and when it came to Carla, she hesitated until she saw her cousin smirking, knowing she’d decline it. Proving her wrong, she took a large gulp, but her face was full of immediate regret.

“Oh my god. You okay?” Alma asked her when she heard her choke.

“Mhmm,” she said with puckered lips. “Nasty!” 

“Yeah.” Alma nodded understandingly. “I wasn’t thinking when I passed it over. Sorry.” 

“No. No, it’s cool.” 

“I have some brews. Would you two like that instead?” A young man wearing a cowboy hat and a lip full of chewing tobacco politely asked them. 

“Sure.” Alma smiled. 

“Could I get one too?” Mayra butted in. 

Eventually, Alma ventured to where Tara and Nadine were, which was closer to where cars would pull into the field to park. Bill was still nowhere to be seen, and now she wondered if he was coming at all. They were talking to Bruce and Casey from school, the two most annoying jocks in school. While she stood around them, pretending to be interested in the conversation, she decided to venture back to Carla to check on her. 

She was doing fine. More than fine, she found some cute FFA boy to talk to, and they were both bashfully laughing with one another, leaning on the tailgate of a truck. Alma was stuck on where to go then, until the cowboy beckoned her over, holding out the bottle of whiskey toward her. 

~~~

“Fuckin’ finally!” Scotty said, cutting the headlights off and creeping the car into a spot under a large tree. “We’re already missing out,” he said, pointing at a car with foggy windows.

“I’m going to go find us some beer,” Jones said, exiting the car before them to get the night going. 

“Wait, but I–” Scotty began to say, but Jones had woven into the crowd and disappeared. “I have beer in the trunk.” 

Bill walked to the back of the car with Scotty, and together they chugged a beer and tossed the cans before grabbing another. After Scotty put on his jean vest that was adorned with studs and band patches, they began walking around. Their presence didn’t look so inviting, as they were both pretty tall and lanky, but they also had pierced ears and unusual haircuts. Scotty’s dark hair was spiked up with gel and hairspray, and the sides of Bill’s hair were shorn very short but long on top and laid to the side. Scotty would always try to convince him to get a mohawk because it was nearly there if he buzzed the sides narrower. 

“Oh, look, Skarsgård brought his girlfriend.” Bruce Fetterman teased them when they crossed paths. 

Their eyes darted towards him with objection. Then Scotty blew him a kiss, taunting him, and Bill joined in making kissy noises. 

“Fuckin’ freaks.” Bruce spat on the ground with disgust. 

The boys laughed as they sauntered away, unbothered. It amused Bill that his tooth was still chipped, which made him look stupid. 

“Where the hell did Jones go?” Scotty wondered out loud as he scanned the field. “And where is your girlfriend?”

“She’s not–”

“Yeah, whatever dude,” Scotty interjected. He knew their story, and he knew his friend had been dragging ass. “Hey!” Scotty harshly tapped Bill’s shoulder and pointed. “That’s… that’s Alma?!” 

“Huh?” He quickly looked in the direction he was pointing at.

A few girls were dancing in a truck bed to The Stroke by Billy Squire. Then there was Alma standing on the edge of the dropped tailgate and dancing as well. He’d seen her dance in his room on occasion, so that wasn’t so shocking. It was the fact that now she was on display for everyone to enjoy. However, his heart stopped when faced with her bareback. He could see her soft tan skin in the light of the bonfire’s blaze. Was she topless? He thought in a panic until she turned and saw she was covered. Well, as covered as you could be in the top that she was wearing.

“Holy shit…” he said, metaphorically picking his jaw back up off the ground.

“Yeah. Holy shit.” Scotty repeated. “C’mon,” he said, tapping Bill’s shoulder and leading the way over. 

“Who are those guys?” Mayra asked Carla across the way after she essentially blocked her from the boy she was speaking to. 

“Who?” She asked, following her gaze. “Oh. I don’t know about the other guy, but the one in the green shirt is Alma’s friend.” 

“That’s Alma’s friend?” She said with disbelief. “She plays with your Barbies, but that guy is her friend?”

“Like kinda more than friends, really.” 

“There’s no way.” She laughed incredulously before taking a sip of her nearly empty beer. 

Mayra saw Bill put two fingers in his mouth and whistle loudly over the music. Alma turned her head in the direction of it, flipping her hair back, and squinted. She didn’t have her glasses on, but she recognized his figure and smiled brightly. She crouched down and hopped off the truck, hearing some disappointed groans from the boys who were watching. Mayra’s eyes followed her as she practically skipped over to him in her wedge heels, and he wrapped his arms around her, picking her up off her feet with a big, dimpled grin on his face. 

“I told you.” Carla laughed at her cousin's jealousy and decided to seek out the boy she had been speaking to earlier. 

“You look,” Bill trailed off, scanning her from head to toe as his heart raced, noticing her cleavage. 

“It’s too much.” She questioned, feeling a little self-conscious now. 

“No! No.” He shook his head.

“Not at all.” Scotty parroted as he scanned the crowd, looking for either Jones or a girl to talk to before he was delegated to third wheel. 

“Good to see you again, Scotty.” She greeted. 

“Likewise. Always a pleasure,” he put an appreciative hand on his chest and bowed his head politely.

Alma smiled appreciatively. “Uhm. What took you so long?” 

“Well.” 

“That was my fault,” Scotty interjected. “Caught a flat tire on the way.” He waved at someone with acknowledgment then. “Ay, I’ll catch you two later.” 

“Yeah, the tire blew. Guess who had to change it?” He said, slightly miffed, showing the dirty marks on his hands before rubbing them on his jeans. “Uh, do you want to grab a beer?” 

She nodded, and he took her hand in his and led her back to Scotty’s Buick. Bill reached through the open driver's side window to pop open the trunk, and when he rounded the car, Alma was bent, grabbing beers from the foam ice chest in the back. He gazed at her back again, and when she stood upright, the fabric on her top shifted, and he could see the side of her breast. She passed a beer to him, and then she lifted the bottom of her top, revealing more supple flesh, to pull a flask she had tucked into the front of her tight jeans. 

“I stole it from one of the country boys,” she smirked. 

“They’re going to come looking for it,” he chuckled, watching her take a swig. 

“Fuck them,” she said, passing it off.

They settled, sitting on the front fender of the car, watching the bonfire. They were parked a bit away, but they could still feel the heat emanating from it. 

“There’s a lot of people here tonight,” Bill said, scanning the thick crowd. 

“Last party of the school year. You know what I was wondering earlier?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Whose field is this? Someone has to own it, right?” 

“Shit, I don’t know.” He said, turning his body towards her more. “No one? People have been coming here forever, even my brothers when they were in school.”

“Is it weird that this is your last field party in Missouri?” Alma asked, peering up at him. 

“Mm.” He lightly shrugged. “No… I’m over it at this point.” 

“Right,” Alma sighed. And over me too, she thought. “I’m sure New York’s parties will be a lot more fun. I’m a bit jealous. I’ll miss you.” 

Bill bit his lip and looked away. He could feel his nerves creeping up on him. “Y-you should, should visit when you can. We can party together?” 

Alma smiled. “Yeah!”

“But like when I’m able to get my own place, you know? It might take a while.” 

“Mhmm. Are you still on track moneywise?” She asked carefully. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He said, sounding more sure than he felt. “Just trying to add some cushion in case, right?” He paused to take a drink of his beer. “I’ll miss you too, by the way. But I’m not gone yet, don’t start giving a eulogy.” 

Alma playfully rolled her eyes. “But can I say, it’s going to be so boring without you?” 

“I mean,” he gestured smugly, agreeing, and she lightly pushed his shoulder. 

“Hey, Alma!” Their little bubble burst then. It was Mayra calling out to her. “Where’d you get that beer?” 

“Shh!” Alma harshly shushed her, putting a finger to her lips. “Don’t announce it.” 

“I’ll get her one,” Bill dismissively said as he stood upright. “Who is she?” He whispered before he walked off. 

“Carla’s cousin.” She informed him, to which he just raised his brows. 

“Sorry,” Mayra said, blinking her eyes to focus them. “Hi,” she smiled at Bill until she noticed he was handing her a beer. “Oh, right. Thanks.” She looked between him and Alma for a moment and suddenly felt intimidated. “Um…” she nervously cleared her throat. “I’m going to look for Carla,” she said, backing away like prey keeping their eye on a predator.

“Just don’t tell anyone where you got that,” Bill said, holding two other beers and giving her a strange look. 

Alma slid off the fender and passed Bill then. “What’s her deal?” He was confused about her behavior. 

“I don’t know.” She said dismissively, opening the door to the back seat and getting in. 

He did a double take, and then his stomach sank. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest as he followed her in. The only strategy he quickly thought of was to immediately start rolling the back window down to keep them from feeling as if they had any real privacy. He exhaled with a bit of reprieve when he turned to see Alma doing the same. 

When she turned to look at him, her chestnut eyes reflected the distant flames of the bonfire. Her red lipstick had faded in the middle, only softly lining her pouty lips now. They spoke a bit in a friendly, joking manner, trying to break the obvious tension in the backseat as they sipped on their beer. 

“Take it easy!” Bill laughed when she took two swigs from the stolen flask. “Uh, there’s a joint in the center console.” He began to reach forward, but Alma pressed the flask against his chest, stopping him. 

His chest tightened, seeing her bent forward again as she rummaged in the console. Her bare back faced him again, so close in the confined space that he could see where the leather upholstery indented her skin. The urge to trace the lines and the freckles he newly discovered almost overtook him, but he retreated his hand to his lap. She sat back with the joint between her lips, now seated closer to him. 

“Got a light?” 

“Uh, yeah.” He procured a white bic lighter from his breast pocket and flicked the flame on.

She leaned into the flame, puffing on the joint until the ember glowed evenly. She peered up at him through her long lashes and smiled when he pushed a lock of her hair back to keep from getting caught in the glowing cherry. 

They passed it back and forth, their eyes getting low when the discussion of college came up. 

“Eh.” Alma grimaced. “I got accepted to the university, sure. But I don’t know; I might just go to community college. Save some money getting the bullshit out of the way, you know.” 

Bill frowned a bit because he knew she could make it at university, but he understood money was an issue with her mom's stacking medical bills. How he wished money would just never be a factor in decision-making for himself or Alma. 

“That’s half the reason I started my summer job early. But,” she reached for the joint he was passing. “Whatever. I’ll figure it out…” She took a puff, and it was obvious to him that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. 

“Mhmm. Before graduation… uh, I was wondering earlier if you’d want to go to the springs again sometime? Sometime, you’re not working.” 

“I could call in,” she smirked. “But yeah. That sounds nice. The last time was fun.” She recalled when they went floating on spring break. 

He smiled because there was a place past the spring that he liked to visit when he needed to be alone and away from the chaos of his home. He wanted to take her there to see the serenity of it. 

They got cozier and more relaxed after finishing the joint. He had his arm around her now, and her knees hooked over one of his legs. In the distance, they could both hear the synth-piano tones of Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra. The chittering of crickets and cicadas blended into the melody. 

Their inhibitions slipped. Bill turned his body closer to hers, his fingers moving to thread through her hair as he cradled her head. It all just felt so delightful, their bodies buzzing. Their senses heightened with more dimension being stoned. Alma’s eyes fluttered closed as she felt his pixie nose trailing the side of her neck and his breath fanning across her skin. He could smell the scent of amber and warm vanilla on her goose-bumped skin. It was the sensation of his hair, which had fallen forward and grazed along her jaw, that gave her chills even in the lingering spring heat. Her heart swelled so much that she thought it would burst out of her chest. 

Her eyes opened when she felt his low-lidded stare on her. He looked into her eyes so intensely that she lost her breath, and the space closed in around them. He was going to kiss her. It was all over his face. Just as he leaned to clear the millimeters between them, he squeezed his eyes shut and quickly turned away. His face was marred with deep pain. 

“I can’t.” His voice cracked with regret. 

Alma bit her quivering lip when she felt his rejection and began rapidly blinking, feeling her eyes water. “Okay,” she croaked. 

He glanced at her and had to quickly look away again after seeing that he had hurt her feelings. Exactly what he was trying to avoid. He straightened up some and swallowed. Alma noticed the hand on his lap was balled tightly, his knuckles blanched, his nostrils flared, and she felt him tremble. 

“I’m sorry. I-I like you too much.” He admitted. “It’s not fair for me to… I’m leaving, I can’t.” 

Alma sniffled, trying to hold her breath to keep a sob from sneaking past her lips. She harshly wiped the tears that slipped down her cheeks, feeling so silly for them. It wasn’t very punk rock of her. His gaze remained on the floorboard because he couldn’t bring himself to see her so upset, knowing he was the cause. 

“Fine,” she said, taking a deep, shaky breath to settle herself. 

“It’s not.” He said with remorse. “I can’t even begin to explain how much I want to be close to you. But I can’t stay here, Alma.” His voice cracked again. 

“I know.” She sniffled. “You can’t,” she knew for his sake, he had to get out of his situation, regardless of how badly she wanted to be with him. “I like you too. Too much to make you stay.” 

Bill bit his lip and bowed his head. While it was so amazing to hear that she felt the same about him, it broke his heart. Because why him, she could find so much better than him. It felt undeserving. He quickly cleared the lump in his throat.

“I'll let you know whenever I finally get a place. I promise I’ll wait for you.” 

Alma sniffled. “Okay. Fuck,” she sighed, wiping away a rogue tear. Her biggest fear was that the distance would just prove to be too much for their friendship to persevere through. She still held onto the little hope she had and hoped that wouldn’t be true. 

“These last few weeks will be brutal if it feels this bad right now.”

“Fuck.” He inhaled deeply. “I-it doesn’t have to be. It doesn’t have to be, right?” He repeated. “I told you not to start giving my eulogy.” He finally looked at her, and he was glad he could amuse her a bit.

Suddenly, Jones was reaching into the driver's side to pop the trunk, and all three were startled by each other. Bill had a protective hold on her until they straightened up, and Jones felt a bit awkward, knowing he interrupted something. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Jones said with his hands raised apologetically. “Uhm… your friends are looking for you, Alma. One of them isn’t doing so well.” 

“Carla?” 

“I think?” 

“Hmm. I should help get her home.” She said, wishing she didn’t have to leave the party.

“Mhmm.” He nodded, following her out of the backseat. 

When they joined the party again, her friends were already around Tara’s car. The FFA boy helped a drunk Mayra inside with Carla’s help. At least the hard part was done. Bill pulled Alma into an embrace before she left him, and they melted into each other. He took the opportunity to rub her bare back unabashedly. It tickled and it made her giggle. 

“I’ll see you later?” She worried he would ignore her again after this, but she feared for even longer this time.

“Yeah,” Bill assured. “No silent treatment.” 

“Don’t do that shit again.” She lightly chastised, pointing a finger at him. “Goodnight, Bill.” 

“Hey,” he said, pulling her back by her hand. She looked up at him, and he was peering down at her with soft eyes. “I didn’t get to say. You look really pretty tonight. Beautiful.” He corrected. 

“You look good tonight, too.” 

“Eh, sure.” He said with a light shrug and scratching his chin, unable to take the compliment. “Goodnight.” He said, allowing himself to kiss the back of her hand. 

She took that as a cue to regroup with her friends, but as she stepped off she was still tethered to him as he hadn’t let go of her hand.  

“Alma,” he said, looking a bit more serious. “I’d kill for this to be different.” 

Alma sadly smiled, but she understood. “Me too.”

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC intro - Maddie Morgan

Here's another one of these! Feel free to ask about Maddie!

Basics

Cis girl she/her

At the start of Part One, Maddie is eleven

Maddie has long dark brown hair that goes past her waist. She usually wears it down but keeps it out of her face with a headband. She has honey-toned skin like her sister and bright blue eyes. She's small-framed and is about 4'7 at the start of the series. In Part One through most of Two, she has braces.

Admittedly, I haven't figured out her sexual or romantic orientation

Maddie is a Type-2 shapeshifter, meaning she can shapeshift into animals. It doesn't come that naturally to her, but it's easier the more she knows about a particular animal

Maddie, for all intentions, is a human from another dimension, Alium, which is full of super powered humans. However, Maddie was born and raised in the Houston area in the suburbs like her sister.

Character/Personality

Unlike her sister, Maddie is a lot more reserved. Despite being well-liked by most, Maddie doesn't have a large circle of acquaintances she considers her friends like Lexi does. Maddie just has her closest friend Kelsey, and she's perfectly content with that. It's actually quite confusing to her when people she barely knows strike up a conversation with her.

Maddie's interests include watching sci-fi and cartoons with her sister, building with Legos, and video games. She kicks ass at Mario Kart to name one. Maddie joins her school's robotics club since she loved building things and figuring out how things work. She'll take apart something and put it back together again if she's bored.

Speaking of which, she bores rather easily. She needs to be constantly doing something physical at all times. Occasionally, just for fun, Maddie may do something rather risky just to see what would happen. She's very curious about herself and the world around her, and is always eager to learn something new, especially if it's related to science.

Maddie comes across as rather blunt most of the time, but she's not trying to be. She says what she thinks, even if occasionally she'll state an opinion as a fact, since she's pretty confident in herself when it comes to that. She also is known for poorly-timed jokes in which she tries to lighten a situation, though this is not always appreciated.

Other Notable Things

Maddie is an autistic-coded character though I haven't found a good place to confirm this in canon. Probably no one is neurotypical in the cast because of who's writing them, but this was intentional.

Maddie likes to wear a lot of colors at once, especially spring-esque pallettes. She usually wears short overalls over a T-shirt and cute cowgirl boots or sneakers to go with them.

Maddie is in a choir class at her school.

Maddie has an older sister, Lexi. She considers her best friend to be Kelsey.

Tag Games on Maddie for More!

OC in three

OC in fifteen

Interview

Picrew

Two Truths and a Lie

Bag (what's in her bag)

Fun facts

Origin

Questionnaire One

Questionnaire Two

Questionnaire Three

Filled-in Bingo

Unusual Associations

Deep Dive

Outfit

Character profile

Cuddleability

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[swede1952]

Zoom Bird (Fastest Erradicus)

This is a barn swallow (Hirundo rustica) there were several zooming around of the water of a small lake near Houston, Texas. They are incredibly hard to acquire in a camera lens and the closer they are, the harder it is, but I did my best. This is not a great photo; it is the best of the photos I took of these birds.

I don't post all of the photos that I post here to my Pixels gallery, but I post the photos I like best. Some don't make the cut. I usually wait a couple of days and see how I feel about it then. It is unlikely that I will decide to post this picture to my gallery.

You can check out my gallery at:

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[thebookbin]

The Spear Cuts Through Water

Simon Jimenez

Publisher: Del Rey Genre: fantasy Year: 2022

Do you ever pick up a book for casual reading, and then get hit directly in the face with the rawness of the human experience? It was just supposed to be a casual read, and now you're contemplating the entirety of the human condition?

The Spear Cuts Through Water is one of the best books I've ever read. It might even be the best. I don't even know right now, I need a minute to collect my thoughts.

What makes this book so great is not only what it's about, but how it's told. The book is almost epistolary in nature, but instead of written letters, it's framed by stories. You embody the narrator, as he is told grand stories about the Old Country by his sharp-tounged lola. When I say embody, I mean this framing is written in the second person. You are the narrator, and he is the immigrant son of a merchant with nine brothers and a grandjo that never dies. As you grow up, and listen to these stories and sometimes tell them yourself, you are invited to the Inverted Theater in your dreams, a place your lola spoke of so wistfully. A place where stories are told, time is fluid, and the dream-selves from everywhere and everywhen commune. As you sit to watch the tale unfold, the five-day odyssey across the Old Country, you do so in the company of thousands of other dreamers.

This book is not written in chapters, but is instead separated into the Five Days of the journey, as well as a Before and After section. But because it is also framed as a story being watched on a stage told by spirits, the spirits are a part of the story. When a character dies, usually their spirit will comment on their thoughts in their last moments—sometimes profound, painful, sometimes mundane. But you never really forget this is a story you are watching from the Inverted Theater, even as you become absorbed in the tale. It adds such an ethereal quality to the story, to hear the thoughts of the spirits about their lives as the story goes on... it's unreal. You really start to feel like you are in the Inverted Theater.

As far as main characters go, I really loved both Jun and Keema, although I will admit Keema was my favorite. Both men are complicated, flawed, even contradictory at times, but oh-so-compelling to read. Their relationship to the world and to each other was so profound to watch unravel. Keema, with his missing arm, branded as a man of poor fortune discriminated against his whole life, is the last of his people. Jun, son of the Prince, has committed untold horrors in the name of the Moon Throne, has had his eyes opened to the error of his ways by the Moon Herself. Together, they must help the escaped empress reclaim Her place in the sky.

As a staunch believer in populism, I really enjoyed Jimenez's perspective on religion and monarchy. Although this is a fantastical tale, it isn't necessarily religious. It takes the form of the familial stories that get passed down for generations. And yet the criticism is integral to the story. Even the "good" gods are harmful in all their actions. It's critical of power in all it's forms, and I enjoyed this, as most fantasy revolves around installing the "true king" or worshipping the "benevolent god" but Jiminez's narrative is focused on the People as a collective, and their wellbeing, and this I appreciated.

This book is very close to indescribable, and honestly, I could probably keep trying forever. But just know, you should read this book. It is just that fucking good.

storygraph | bookshop.org | local houston

★★★★★ holy fuck what did I just read I need a minute to compose myself stars

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[grasslandgirl]

multiples of 12 for fanfic asks!! (w binxhera au)

MWAAHHH DEAR LUKA XOXOX

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

not really!!!! i've spoken on this before, but for the most part outlining- especially in detail- tends to make me lose my inspiration and motivation for whatever i'm working on, bc a large part of it comes from like. the discovery of figuring out what's going to happen next as i'm writing!!

of course there are some exceptions to this general rule- noble pining being the most glaring of them, i have an extensively detailed outline for that- i'm usually forced to outline a little when it comes to really longform/plot heavy fics, just to keep track of all the moving pieces, but generally i tend to limit outlines to just like. beats i have ideas for that i don't want to foget about

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

vibes mostly!! sometimes what's narratively required to move the story forward? sometimes pacing dictates POV if it's a fic with muliple pov changes, but by and large i tend to write in singular pov or back and forth dual povs and those are chosen by like. the framing direction i want to take of the narrative <3

36. What fic are you proudest of?

torn between slasherfic and noble pining for different reasons! slasher is one of the strongest, most cohesive things i've ever written imo; but noble pining is over three years in the making and is the longest thing ive ever written by a HUGE factor and i'm really proud of that, too !!

48. Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

oh my god it changes so much!! i take what i think is kind of an actor/theatre approach to writing? in that i try to find something of myself in every character i write or vice versa- i try to find something of the character in myself- and that really helps me find a solid foothold in how to write and find the voice for the character i'm focusing on!!!! so i don't know if theres one favorite character to write of all time, but it shuffles around depending on who im writing for the most and feeling the most comfortable in the shoes of in that moment

(right now it is, unsurprisingly, fig and gorgug <333333)

60. In [binxhera au], what inspired the idea for the plot?

i wrote this post back in october as acofaf was still airing !! and the idea really stuck with me <3

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is hard bc im rich in compliments and affection and support so like. top three off the top of my head:

1) there's this one anonymous comment i got on a ye olde american vandal fic truly like. five years ago? saying that they (the commenter) was high but they really enjoyed my fic and that it made them feel like "that one vine of the lawn mower flying up into the sky while whiteny houston sings" and then commented a second time with a link to said vine to make sure i knew what they were referencing. and i thinki about that so much

2) i just messaged jack @kingfisherkink about this but he left me truly a NOVEL LENGTH comment on the first installment of slasher fic last year and its so <33333333333 i just become the human version of the heart emoji when i think about it bc it was such a kind and thoughtful and enthusiastic comment from someone whos opinion i think really highly of an di still have it open in a tab on my computer now months later

3) casey @aberfaeth has said multiple times that my great pretender fic (keiko fic, for those in the know) that i wrote for her bday last year is the best gift she's ever gotten in her life (now tied w the binxhera fic i wrote this year) (HER WORDS NOT MINE!! <33), and every time she says it and every time i hear it she makes me melt and go "noooo 🥹" for real in real life <3333 looove uuu

send me fic asks from this list!!!!

[inwintersolitude]

- May 4th 2023 -

Do you plan your meals in any way? Sometimes. I have a meal planning app on my phone, and I use it more when my husband is home from flying which is about 4-5 days a week. But if he's on a trip and I'm home alone for a few days, then I don't bother with planning as much. And my appetite can be finicky sometimes, like I won't know what sounds appetizing until the day of, so that's another reason why I don't always plan ahead.

Have you ever been front row at a concert? Which one(s), and how was the experience? Nope, I've never really had any interest in going to a concert, much less the front row of one. I wouldn't be able to nowadays with my noise-induced ear pain.

What's the strongest earthquake you've ever experienced? I've only ever felt one, in 2007 - I just looked it up and it was a magnitude 3.6. My parents and brother and I were sitting at the dinner table and the whole house shook, and at first I thought it was a sonic boom or an explosion. We were only about 5.5 miles away so we definitely felt it.

Do you know your best friend's middle name? Yep.

If you have a passport, where do you store it for safekeeping? In our safe deposit box at the bank.

What's your favourite kind of juice and when did you last drink some? Either lemonade or cranberry juice. It's been several weeks since I last drank either of those.

Were you in the scouts when you were young? Yep, I was in Girl Scouts from kindergarten through 4th grade, but then I stopped because I was frustrated that we didn't do enough camping/outdoor stuff and too much sitting around doing boring crafts lol. But then I rejoined in 7th and 8th grades because a lot of my friends were in it and we started to do more camping at that age.

How long are your fingernails right now? Very short.

Do you like the Scream movies? I've never seen any.

What sort of music have you been listening to lately? Mostly classical. A little bit of classic rock.

Are there any bills you need to pay? They're all on auto-pay.

Have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? Yes but now I can't remember who it was. Personally, I think I look like Mia Wasikowska when she was younger (we're pretty much the same age, less than 3 months apart, but she looks a little older than her age and I look younger than my age). I think she looked like me the most when she had light brown hair for her roles in Jane Eyre and In Treatment.

How many people could sleep in your home? (Not counting floor space, beds and couches only) Four. We have a queen size bed, a daybed, and a couch.

Are you a fast reader? Kind of, I think? But I'm not sure what's considered average.

Do you own a leather jacket? Nope.

Is there a university campus in your city or town? No. Well, there's a building that's a small satellite campus for a university that's in a city that's about 35 minutes away. But it's just one building off on a country road outside of town. The only reason I even know it's there is I pass it on the way to one of my favorite hiking trails.

Who last called you on the phone? Did you pick up? If so, how long did you talk? My husband, and yes I picked up. He was calling from the airport in Houston before his last flight home, and we talked for about 10 minutes.

What grocery store/supermarket do you shop at most frequently? Buehler's.

Do you know how to play the card game Hearts? Nope.

Are you a more of a light or heavy sleeper? It seems to vary a lot throughout my sleep cycles.

Have you ever done freelance work? What did you do? Nope.

Name four things you can see right now. My desk clock, my old AOPA pilot wings pin, the fence in the back yard, and a framed family tree that my great aunt drew by hand, going back to our first ancestor to come to North America in the 1620s.

Do you charge your phone every day? I charge it every night while I sleep. Sometimes during the day if I've been using it a lot and it's getting low.

Is your washing machine currently running? Nope.

How's your energy levels today? Pretty normal.

Have you ever torn a muscle? Yep, when I was doing lifeguard training and preparing for the test where you retrieve a weight from the bottom of the diving well, simulating rescuing a person who had sunk down to the bottom. I dove down to the bottom, grabbed the weight, and when I pushed off the bottom of the pool I tore/pulled a muscle in my leg.

Do you have any cereal in your house at the moment? Yep, bran flakes.

When was the last time you went out to eat? Where did you go and who with? About a week ago, with my husband. We went to the cafe in town.

Is the street you live on short, long, or somewhere in the middle? It's pretty short.

Should you be in bed right now? Nope, it's only a little after 8 p.m.

[siliconec]

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