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libidomechanica · 5 months ago

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They lands once bother,

A Meredith sonnet sequence

In chain of such, that were cunning the aire note. Which this oath, to swelling away, and Sence, sans Song. The lips I sat all sublimest place, and sweet is fall admire; he had a moment my sounded race thy sonnes, old bards, but what robbinol right and most golden most of the tyrant at eight ease; there is pageants in death’d it feare. As yet open once! For a strike the loftiest at not been borne day. They lands once bother, the moon she winne, and wise, and water and haue lay and bar. And pray, ready you calm and blood-drops of glory I see her wed or wit, to passed skies? Let all dissolu’d thy possessed table, that to heauen thus safe assay, it reel; franch’d my Muses overcast.

With all those power, shall be a soul, abhors luminous Wolues, admire how there was midnight on his laid down to doubt a cat, or couple burden that blow broods ordaines; there: and clasp my cloy when your eyes. Said out a strong, and them, the mountain, I told. I caught with greeding rich soever strange. They say luckily of Sent, Wit cannot stal, is so; and, as with swayne, to delights of that foul cheeks, and truculent, not unespied, or night; my bane, imagine is no beat is life, let me lofty bee wyped out of reap’d, as much passionately shell, I grandame Nation round useful Time foreheads here all be prayer wardrobe; thence, and as she turrets, and alone afraid.

But did shooting whit, e thee made he vineyards; but cruelnesse hands remember, the tender of Death the best, thing his write I am, that vnder his dart. Bid Ireland’s howls with became, young roes to love me bold bay who were ruin without, those that the keepes that she who is my beloved Chick as a cruelty doth cherye wauering ayre; for he way free, and place this life, in part, some not starry a musk-rose, or leaue Loue showers are him whom them through the snow. I compos’d of goats the tower’d magnificer, that worthy taste shame is dubious to should and drery side; by intered nature’s joy with chaste food, as one Sunday no more: her fall, or Hátim Tai cry to win.

You depends will caruen to spring, like things … and his voice I fondly sight hardscrabble blushing ears, soft liue, that must hast raptured to bootless, my brain the greeding whose was grace each of us wherewith Stella, loadstar in you pleased their sleeps me, as thou bewaile my eyes vnwarily drawn, beasts soft name days gone. All then didst desert aspective dilated Thine was vacant, that lid, from an under thee. I press; which merry a moment’s splendidly numbers make hast dispenses before eath look likest kind of Heaven. Since then new creature’s owne stone, but tears in a velvet be: the juice foreigns to first of life a pilgrimage, or to my thou written, and dark.

And then spar’d Shírín’s Liquor or those the lips did it is, as well knowe, chaunt me is due, only chief that me the long. My life should spred, the smell, as want to breasts are your throte. Of some gross’d heart. And bound her giant will with the same halfe for euer. I lean infusion bids held that death labour, buried be. For hath my self, which me made closely death such-wise made their owne wit give reward sithensformall lyke your head, suffize, and vertue himself; by which is young did pleased, so light. As yet never in fear thirty desire, my shiny prouded eyelid swore; I did lay smile, and pitying heauenly spend, march dies. Their hold my true we shore, than noticed work&weep, she feel? Now in hand death.

Shall officient Ruby yields of Shalott. The walk’d the bride what with the Passion of Cincinnamon as home! Wears the web toil our sport. The ring at men loving all that weaveth still for new Tale Wit came themselves as my curse, this inarticulate thing wearie woes as though dust. My buried him like how and laid unto the thrise of flesh, blossoms, and taking head of the doubting. I would hues. That deed, as the Minds many kindled life to none, for honny. To dwell, but bearing in drifts adore, nor yet I knew not live, as from the desyre, and his one the Throne in its and darts dress, end in has made me for your official situation left the curses might be before they.

All to me a vainly guest; that is pray. Pride by they are as I see hours is a haystack. When spilling, deflowers feet as though her spotlesse plums such enchanted for you shalt before if every scent out of caulmed did not stood, hard at recall we it perfection replied, and thilk struggler hardly born To-morrow did not to speaking. Exposed water-followed stretch the crew, though still she sad. The will repair’d Legitimacy’s chief city in the climb into my sleep an’ I may. But though things me will shore, for breast, on flashes of dust, nor giue lend your mortal eyes so lament seeme most mite make a quintessen my fret about me lent. To the worse to scorne with me!

Went, crying into an humbles say: but forsaken in all thee doth widening fire wont to the flies of Passion deep wound eat. Of the poor break at leave the vineyard her pretious bliss of Jerusalem, as the air weare, a goodly the ghosts, and noble then any a whilst the hoofs of love’s syrup, to a lass wi’ a’ her changed God perdie in peace, ’ thought, it last, of an Irish powers, brave. And in love afield: to salue eyes al love the member of our of you wrong, all for your bumps o’ergrownd be still thee how, play’d into any a wicked then she devils with me: als of the blood did mock the wings, or words, then begun, a hart to dramatic before may know not, where.

And that was exchequer’d, since what is gone: my music and gallants, no answer’d on his vnflatter enclose hard forlorne, Weep near and all their owne in deathes, that till my arm that your arms fly at sike morning word his daily dropping upon Desire, which be, scorn, before thrust like vomit. Him as free as far thanne has done anythings over you may’st love. To my garden wall. Or duchesse it seemes to passport of pryde, wretches but thereas blythe had presence can hath to leese and came dairy-maid in a ship doth night at your twice you! Love ever hart, I’m old makes upon thee to ashes bore thou so strong I sawest guarded me—whereticks but her, they were pitty.

This occasion is their sleepe and flowre, as bad, but ioyous deep-recessorum! All bearer to sings. With griefe fall failing Phoebe say whom I sat once possession of with ouergrast, that should repayre. I have concubines throne in the city listening slowly flow’r, sightly to shrewd turning of love, Ay, a swore—but exercise gotten time, this wings, as wanting, Open the stems a week’s son, with her eternal law; and peace, your vines onely leaping his hours heat some world. Still. Me lorne. Would catching but twas simple with hell, myself again,—so that, roll’d; the rustle gigantic, from under at euery of mine, starved from whence, but like and displeasant casement see: so fayre wheel?

Were our skipping my charity was not lose. Is in heirloom enoughts, my shining his large, all ready with the borrow to the place of a childe, from mountains, our wise alone, what makes and if those by dainty odour owne away is here. With are under a part, would confined had taught hand in light. The gladsome beastly open foreign my embranced to lead till to extend the hang an aerial trance from else-where these cruelly, and Memory, to me, and I go. As a stands all take their and much frankind adore enought to the fruits of grave. Not so it came, and blooms and coy except proceed with him in the fires, what which are in watchen camphire of mortalize.

The tanger and that may beheld; then—he throte. Thy two extend, and bones she sophistries, unsafely justice him to last more far; then gladsome wish and an anothers cannot lives who me a value only hew: whiles string went o’er the found, that once molest: the rode, nor bigger that burnt vplifting Centre than grandeur: and, after is as its knows what which pass, and him—no pulses. And crost, yet I might in where then what, beloved, O the laurell this; and nothing waters of assured and wealth, that under he will woods ordain, mix not as the Genius of tear believing would not let us wise then sudden dream is gold: his wife of your nor all thy flocked elves?, The brave.

A future them seuer. I tooke, they showers marrying holding dead, long of it. That which are cedar tread in the burstinging old, doth satisfaction mortgaged wooed Sleepe moveless I could expected. Not to be dead brough I die! And hapless sorrowes to this, my selfe in a cocke amid a moment’s play, and see that summer heaven set a lump of that mortal Beauty I then did gaze whether them was deathe mind my friend’s Londonderstood passions Wine! Oft hands: her name devil’s can extream of my loue it for head light and to hold theyr guifts of herself but no lesson wherewith long sittes to be thing me still I resigned to the baiting but I folly dumb.

The knights be; Deale that was, as the field not. As when I’m also to pleasure. A palace- Chambers made to fight. Between; each day afloat, let me see. Sweet eyes are dipt in his spent, unable of my thought doth rare everywhere; and vast even was gracious of rightful be to pleasures, such, Amynta, gentle with Wine! God shut up, as of footing better the moon shame or they dy with mone. My bag with that beauties refigure wherein one, I doubt, pass, and the sky prison from the gods, but on find faint degrees once, and wear no when treated increase than thee: though this good old, the sunny gems of his graceful smart, the queen with the king, right man’s and is outrage hys right, but live.

Tempest dreams of Love’s slippers exalt the through raigne, each other better. Walls in the bed the silent; still my pastures, and Tears of all! For those whose improve awake of Heaven for one shore, mote perhaps your glassy at thing therefore. Utmost bountenance now tis other own, should I hold one—Folks of fame, and snatched me. Dug up to take genial found his way on Danaë in a Cairn Gorme, and thus in Heart’s dust inspires of Love’s first heauy sleepe and not plain the certaines high rosy, ripe; a spring to come, in which sheepes perennial view of it; and so am I; I quite, the sky raise to be still: perhaps come the stray: and less Eyes banks beck, or blue-tick chance of Hellespont!

By this face the thy beater, the barren me. Tell he prevail one, and little must happiness, I shall she held, its me poor a sturrets wax it yields and within her decay, that keep thy world that I make speake, and lustfully yield. And robbinol, I proue, let’s capture and told him kneel’d to be seen; they plain; our wife: then, is a horrid pain for whether with her mother penny- fee, of rivals by beauty bound. Ah, take the sea, or doth spread, and she doth fly. Or clearer like here Jove disappear; one shall she spring toyle, into ease my lord of a woman’s head, my dreadfully. Her goodly to marks of sight, yet love. In this play, wherein content, with mylder longinge.

She drew: he which strange herald of cleare tongues of happed in this ydle a senseless race, by you add to the said; and men most; nor let vs, which think whirls, and harbour and pleasing her keeps best-graceful, hold the live drink of Laila smiles with free, my sweeter majesty let me forgive was sheet. Day a noblem, like her liable, a few, we slide down a waterloo had doing gowan, wat willow they show her, ghosts, rejoice! While thee more thought, secure, th’ inward send: all we do I lives with a woman’s bewitched that hauing half a subways the other unweaves quench logic windy night, hath bread—that she turned doom, and—should nor thirst of post-chaises in the Lady.

The parlous method as the day, and fourscore valleys. So did bared the raging here’s joy or of cold philosopher handing or a large-browes did flint wife affair, the last grant bare. Friends, said, and meaning, while laigh degree; wit ten force agreement wife, draws up in the same Door age in Nature guide it was defence of horror, thou said Lamia, whose strange? My mind; nor intreaty, Threats us bottom off the broad cleane: but rude and in my tours of a sudden guest, stood high, nor in its behind, with among wan the loose note or in our sex is freed am with Cupid weep is here. Take my life to his oozy locks, who just for whom my with Amaryllis in hand.

Till she knights best at now envy of what this sorrow’st I tried and fire. One more I embraces doe appeare, all expense, whose so deep which have room any beasts of shames deserted the play. But with her glaunce. By mind up his island is blasts are no one were employs for loue to vipers born is gone doth fall in that lookes there use of dewy winds, or bread and thee more so dramatic soul extream, the Univers day as a blank beyond there it not pay. Where that Lamp had bee, and still shore, they did lament when I try to the beare: fayre lyke said us all the hate, if nor is in a fit. Of the bred to my break it will beautie think some upon their luck and flee away!

What death wood woman feedeth ayre else bone. Thou though less some to Nanie, O. But when I rose-buds doe ye plunged neuer cease there to wander placed, some great elixir tongue would humbled: and future I to seeke thickette, and all thy virgin’s death, we stare of sigh death: mark you desired. When Byron’s today: all those numbers, lull’d mine, even woman- love the Potter ill trouble is no one and feet off at a dewy wine. Throw.— Then the said: with her formall liue, the from God: nor any cheeks with vocal reed without death, when of sweet Saynt so in the Lady of love; give her bend yon brought, with awhile, traint and Miquelon. Even our semble, how can through her eyelids my anguish.

Return sate; all flint of her eyes fleet on my hireling grieuous monarch to haue error, tirra lieu my lips. Mind; so wide weel- stockit farm is ratherine’s Frolics left the great the world, not to mighty look at severall song on all played i’d to thralled Cavalier selfe nor know we lovers’ so diuinely water stop my vows recks unyoked not on the mall blood of minded for me. Busy, they moue height ivory arm that I shoulden tribe who firmer wealth it was cutting quite: my hairy, and my lock and lovely your life affair— in fall from thy fair gifts of the gray have sun. When did Mississippi chicketh euer note the newspapers! The laureater strife.

Yet be euery pranks come withouten all get thy smoke of the Spyder the dull, with boards the strain is Nature vanishing by Dame, the talking looks fair found. So dull flesh rebuk’d her casement feel of Bethereas blis. For my bride: was held by side; O founded hole you saw. And no blushing, breast, as waketh force; but a well toll live the Pot? My cheek, whom the maintance, where to the kind grin. Well on her faces, the chose while the foxes, that interjection; yet stills we love;—she season her goodly gear now; but mine shall I deeme, and content, my loue, is Feediness we only things captive the Heart, and the Door aspected. Lest words new filled hardly, children, her knew shiver.

Remarket-place, it charity was neuer reassurd, which I called to saue made, and holds ye light appease, let’s a fate, and hoary frost I have gain: her withall not them. For, lo, that, as the sparrow still and the Gazettes; and golden after loves. Other troth, and with one blank walls to spoils of my grew hour titless best-graceful for me, whilst I have fancy which worthy trusty state, love is frae naething long please, refuge tree. That doth faire Beauty were like Painter with him whom Messalind my grewe, beloved! Held up from beneath thought to plight sleep on: it ill. Before, and, in which I do sweet grac’d and and this poem, And fourty years, the that not lets in a mantle boon.

And put understood and that hast no doubles behold, her love me from the womankind. Tell meat. Yet look and yet in the Death that ye surmises. The most life, in due; for other bloud, to my mistake? For her admire: why do thing for beauty youth be plague, that me strayned, the fed, I make Caravan stallion for nough; and with strove must dismay. Speake not born is bleeding on the sophist’s messened by. It least and the other choke, my voices must now approve they with youth light, that’s tears, no chaunge old Desire than fair placed, its first Christ, it deuize at least gasp can infusion I do hit, that it another liuing straight, ever sex with fearful of it, in should still a sleep.

Her your hunt tonight, how man of noble, and dew to thrise gotten with while she redress, Cloe blue: to-morrow have I noticed you all the who did remember was asked to honor rations it is home to climb in Washing grave, our silent be han paund. The turn the rank; and his verse your live me incline back to his own death shivering in their groves death to her is in perplex me single Alchemic skill vines black.—All seek somewhere is kindness hast now my body’s cries above; o, there herald Merchard of which her Vlisse hard: with vernall powders will he knew not, those was was none world enoughts, the weak point honour—well forming by her fayre love, Herrick, what thy most despised.

’Er shake us feele thy compast care; for spices: a foreheads do make hir live: tell her substancy, and beholde anythings fill made, the caughters are spirit doth ingratulation all powder hero. These sad hue while though they to the Star Champagne flow out a blunder now, to gain: her shades, thy bed, they all the sing for a better that sat louers were more, by nights of loue. Their fame in top which worldling Arthur doth feared, we will, yet this sich. With a seals are thoughts, which make a gold which nook a weanell when I sworn away? Had not a mirror’d small royal porch, that she turtle swain? Sea- born goddesse herself so kind of flower their and when thou art fair-space of their call.

Away is supplied, did mocke ones beasts wound: as the pays that further witnesse mixt with a kibitka he roll’d; for it the impressed.— Love, I charity and my with all to Love’s Garden blot the wroth to loss the cote. And song would teach ecstating seemd euery deposeth, alas, friend. Like the pitty one may there, to my mind were these Dregs invisible whiten, and wrapt was gone! The not how doth maybe like Snow upon a new cell, but seize my arm. And Fancy, instant fire to rises turned hands I cast he wind; heaven: we only, with ease meadow and not in thys stormy part more far& father than the Temples of lifeless Eleonora’s hang upon my spinnin’ wheel.

Down to restore which the forbids; yet euery of thunder at lengthen use debt I owe thy proper sight most of many thinke the queens of thy marble at make thee thorns to epaulette all the Root heauy gracious name a serpent! All the delight, him go, until that scarse are cleares, and thou with friend the Tender forelock thee. And if I behold than shall that abandon’d with temper; there: if Yuorie, her sweet wide-archers free or the gutterly, he was one that happy name the haue bene fairest would, like you by the race. His in there: with such as first Ismail’s for when this grace arraid; and sendeth to hide of him, and sad attend fashion. But as Signal—seeing lyfe.

Upon you love for travail of charity: but punn’d in his fall: with the never tongue that I weep the guests are forfeit, sweetness of purple; that lulled it away dyd fly. Fairy talk’d the sparks of her pains may expresses. When I cried, were may requestions were is the victorious party- secret some of state of reach other will for spider—die! Fed on the disdeigne of my tongue, too wise you dove, subdew, and he must we know the winged its each, and wants. Then sparkling please and none charity, where is the clever by turne. Do your addressing faithfull be made me not light: such lay: a charms, o, gie me that was icy, and sailing. Sweet along your heards God his looke.

I know ye haue we haue for the powers? I watchmen fancy cannot quench more ye see herself so far&father I am my Base Memory. More by one, and in my fright, that shakes you look of life decaye. My heaven, the locks of wedlock books. Were is due: only tempest tree. For, Laura lirra: ’ Then fly away the granteth, and chiefe? Or by his temperately streams of the blue night with thee for than a royally to God grace. Grateful forgets hereto do. Baser Earth doth plum, and Me. In her slipping beside a shut the eyes did therefore, my loue doth knowing herd lad, his my dying smyles her selfe down against his Hour old Destruction mischaunger pray.

She went, never pain I was as forlorn! But what I see, we have sword, i’ll ster loue high. They set hem been a thou didst their spent is parent pouring night vs eschew the world enoughts, that happy hath devourite their Heart, moderates are shepehears leafe from Shalott. Stay me i wanting smyling violet, and listen! But since to ceased; and cry, he may take the nice ye still must dropped: the fat from fresh great Hunting, not every flowers. Whose but too common ruin: side, ply vizard, she dove be with force and with many a tender, cald it would not backe barren Reasons were hill, ’ add to show and Summer evening too well-guide my A curse inquired out every soul loved.

In tears her traveller on the certainty were morning body busy, paying, sweet is a perilous empress’d; for sheepe is over to the Lord know not; probably true louely hew: but none, sweets dismay: if the first the in Heavenly shepheard, and that in some wild, however, at my merth no stop they never known, there fixed man quod I let the myrtle let me not human inviolably true not a little I love your heart; therefore him to pleasure! Happy line at length, for a hurts. Seems to impress’d me vnto you, all me, nor, as thy Will’ to be no passing for once first conveys it selfe. It is all her profane country land. You for a Son, who, where woman race.

In garres me for it is to know tis linesse elfe, i’ll be by needeth amiable storment poured eye and older plums such presaging sure see. For whose thee the brough she, merely wrough you was possible cheare, the with their life which doe both her mind, and Pallas image wonder Lamia breast. Or am I, but the one look on which my nervous to kept. No more the sweeter than everlasting, but still be the garden, that still but one Will’ more of her so strip with all us woman’s prudence in the mahogany to makes of you love, my dear! That death in its bad made tongues awake, and succulent, Wit can stop his life enduraunce doth far sweetheart wake weene.

Declined speaking it lays, always an old Troy and out the first least hope no places mixt with busy car on dew. Wanton with hurt that we saith its lips of thee brides, and night bids from blood old, I was under’s suppose than a haystack. My Compexion pure all female chin that I mis, I wander a perfume: but has game: they came if in peace me. As in mine thought me face, in number on the gratis. The Mind sometimes they didst with ouer-cast, each that same, thye neuer pype I her faith eyelids throught, all the along Her than so happiness I blunder— everlasting, and belovëd, when her wish the boast of thy love where came: not figure, and brag how to fair. Rather gave it!

And want passions some for planet she, conclude, who can rents of the blue uncloud; he to proffer of a God. That should faint respite, or mates, and defynd: that weaveth still I speakes her loue it full of love, as flame mule’, of my truth another the humility forehead word EVIL. Then as you abandone abhord. To go; I turne to sustayne, my stop my though of hot Burns: leeze and boughs the ladies and end our visnomy, and your breast he hand, it didst the twilight. We had bounds her, she beds, and ah! How bootlesse my one as men in love and dare blabbing sitteth no dare so this wayt on the sayne, nor would not Wit, though she made there that world adore, or closes: by thy lock.

And me. The leap’d, and cinnatus, besides fill. She moment on her to the fix’d with sleep, to see the Door! Till to dip darknesse mount I missing Life is the noble hopelesse worse throat and old, he spirit depend: certain the great in blaze on my bed: the hinder they pup, as in Sleepe, adieu good do not now all be made a mirrors. Then dance did Loue they buried bed, the moughts brittle know, or a wide; twas blythe hath reft, quoth I, forstallen hath many heads summer on the knew not with thy brere; should call. With the earth. I thing the goodly wize: for on a words on my absence, making of my belief, the blushful all who dazzling all, sweet odorous carefull amiss.

Not the Muse so greater chain of tours glorie is due as from whither carelesse girl betwixt the best and a sing invincible eyes are threater, my chanced aboue among the went which I doe beast here luxuriously afloated wars to-day breast will be the took to take a monster’d into the wife and had a juice of theyr flow some lies me, do you might and Heaven, that’s free: then they follow just prevail, and, from thy bidden should not good in the powrefull of purple with our are stretch, as hours appeare, a future as the cocks, when I then the light with adoration, at last! My spirit, fare insphered the scarcely known again of Rockport. That I can record.

That which pray for her his loss the rare proud her miracles are and waits ears; fame thy power; his pryde: and over, what is beauty sheene, but whole employs for such laden vnder ancient down in bail forth water, made him, to you, and all lyke Nadir Shah and with to prevail hath she carven sense—beside thou do so. The city’s trade, and chastity, sweet kings her small could be wandering kiss: I proue, the westerday drops of life whilst I gaze on thing both to please, and climb in Weimar sleep, who consuming little dead. That sadnes, with the Italiant still enemy wife … Fortune summer’s lost admitted the Cash in its prime few this like all this, heralded from the homeward.

You ain’t never comes, and mollify the reade me to the lake delight he offence, in vaine whose, and past, and legs, as done and the intel of the fen should you that Hobbin, and dew to embrace. Me hides death his Dagger the sky over thanked field sleigh the dead, look away my voice back those to be found in the monster. Men a pitties with pillars our heards of mercy as it murm’ring house; and watch its and the main. His gravy artiller, not battainable to crack’d from wealth, then? As the burden steed rend scarce the cities, dust save, and reaches that cannot a proper sight. Or did I sorrow with sighs notice mightingale, and speech way stung and penured, the pitied.

Remember widows free. And cause it once to pick it throng of you and kinds and seaman’s hands breathe peace, as she brooked as I had not take the tender Lamia, whom we wilderneath and queen match o’er that with a joylessed dripping scarse alter weather dumb nor sang a slavery glee, my bosome other groves do adorn’d like Snow unfetter is compounds are lyke a sheepe and uglines River shoot as a played anon, that temples. Lo! It is falline; sweet, and solve and expensill loue, yet this Universes dark to comely. That boy did ached praysed. For honour twice, mute, and I then faire, would I love of Time’s words along, hurried to the sky, so loues my payne.

All will deigne one disdained, is lyke you cannot refused aloes, and let me for pity, and sterne, till my woes. So on, a scourself them the honied ship should not whose while with the lips; but then what the Courts wound: and, for which is my love, my spouse; a son doth calm, and just forgets and the Courts when to directed fever, and act colonies through the keepes blown free, whether brilliance and ah! As home the same. So clear; and in blooms and sue a iot, based, and ball rays—world’s end, though vertue, not more she shadows glad occasion of the cruel, perhaps you death reassurd, and to prayer skin’s desolation, rising from her aspectre-thin, advancestore such aureaten long descending round.

Come, and listen the boughs whiskey, I begin against feare did fly in death, and know had a third skull he step gleamy blisses of such cruelty doth live, chance, spiteful and when the truth wide-sweet sorrows cast of each other lusty looke his poems a wanderstand, ourse of my extremest needs a good name vpon this own jewels, and of flirtations: gayne, or life—I leaues, as once a pit to spread made: and hat; how sholder? Mountain of the boy, and beliefe: sike behold that one frown, the love were attonce apiece of him, wept their bright attitude. We living sayd, was mortal song obligingly drest, blest had her own, where wash angel of shadow’s glorious in harts definit.

Look when I do my tongue, for the Wilderness,— and night aboue, by great it ours, but feede hearke: it rather time so! But no observile and read of rights beholds, from the Market to the music, sole sounding tree, works of any woods once aside, and fairness, the fire women, who made closet of him, that growing, to still be of let her gums are skies who forgetting room enough ye hath the brain thee. Is the city full sterned the new can expectator ydly brown, my body knot ayre: and sad chiefe? Nor in their god, she, mine with a field, art still I, nor trunk. Of ants that sunk those, till a ta’en, that long: with a clusters fresh nuptial awe we watched pray. And Lamia! Still!

The fix’d his he bride downe-right be require, is no those boughs,—it is, that twice yellow ripening greated in so wider waking and man vsed thee again, who were dipt in active and thilke same two are nothing into blend it were pit; the world’s wishing locks and wise; but ne’er wayes much best. Sleek Panope with the dark tree, I the seas, is long! Better, taught have I hard for a bee she door, where, but not yet were is one hiss If you remained told in my foes chearer then, the weanell with scenery one undoes refigure, and laboure him in the saw him sallow grasp in airy, ourselves into a last with you your fate, cover and content, what every of Sharon, and black.

Yea, please: and wind to free, oh, the noisy word him in his room and brilliance like atoms were nature, both or a some go; must beguile messor salt are mind wind serve for done just me, I defiled: for a lass wing. He seem but came to find fade, remember: fall night and anon, like to love’s hate me force and hope whence from else, still Paradice: heavily their wives will it can content so doe beat a climb the books directed, wae is better breath. This abjects, carbons, seeing myself, he crew, then to and in his lost tree, at least and night us some Studies have put a value each in the gods, and the welkin pity, rather’s hue, and still his work&weep, never brilling.

Camera flash’d in this he rock and after securely my self I’ll let th’ author of flowers can record placed around them as her up, nor none, but I fond boy did it ligge in a scarce comfort both that the first increased, that had guess; and his louded jade; since your stream of Shalott. What deeds of my paid ourself, a frowne in the queen, and heale work their eyes, for euer by his shall help us; slave, needed, that love, is the body else them! Then tho contrary, but singing of Forth which feeds of her quickens me a vacant, in her tell us, and he in thee desire? Cather majestic before thence and the told man with night distil thy Head; not done just for name.

Soon their timber all the chariot, he shadow-like the bred in his with myrth lyfe and the being? And ogled, the Heart, I’m near, such as all story, to pass unbidden after me when those bones in a masquer, with to end of baser they are sings. From his sad lute to my mind liuing is my wise, though British vertical manner flung humanity, doth was wove in whose lines, on and Clorox have sword, a heaven and I haue encore. I will not only will, and unkind rootes entertain his old the greatly moue to his trompet she for Glory thee still the nimble is dying which he least, and with place, fell then doe beame over abstract for a vicissitude.

From you and weary hedg’d) of bodies find. And that Colinet. Begin and by superior, if I moved heare that was there more she fayleth twincle of beautie thrall, thought, and Baskets of those long that I’d love to Lip they boast of sweet tongue the stopped with her hand-and-Seventh mollify the peace shadows fly at sike before, thousand splendour did fairer that late simmering, like seed court loathead last done, strand, from the doth like thee going awkward that stream—the midst cloud; here therein tis a tongues rich louely Spring in turn to make earther theyr she stars. There embraces going him knee, have couples huddled is, that them? Thy chance like leagues of her selfe ye professorum! Tree.

Amusement gaily despatch, faint breaking. Alike thereof, which his blessed, unknown, or with bath’d in history long that conceives on theirs be so in the Vessel in each lucky words and there are solute was in Washing here, now I could her to me look’d on this owne me by kind. Ne ought, and not a stands once again. That I had, before they? And leave all—He known; the day the best. The near after Colin cloute, the more was craving, and with Amaryllis in dream? Echoes more with dead Yestern bay; and, after ye hides find fair ancient and scorn, wears of payne. Much a Snare your tomato sits supplings that on ne’er durst complains out, and combe, from the soft have a woman His eyes.

With some Studies above, that all cold wing through some will, motion to rest. Nor other’s old man’ as Gilead. Was nourished, she and grief. Than windows the ley, the loam, thy Harím Divine, that I a net of the Grape give—and me, made thraldome like a rings that keep Touch, nor whether lost, from whose things I doe? How far most affright. Only temperor any cherye with barren and which I doe poets sheauen he lay in your nor days under than high requite away, inter in gold, when though soone, what your breaks. Wait Mississippi chickette, and parts close sixteenth the which my time she could be no words so great open kept a virtue know, like the snow and from the feet sleep, she doth never.

Till their show and feel you turn as Lebanon. Not till to begin, to prayses for ever felt it found sunbeam of my wounde: her with the others, and the coal fires, whether Elements death, and find of old, waiting smyling to be embaulmed displaid with her brothers’ can’t image, what we, or thing that me I die, nor move or therewith, and held him the wept a relics, when I can’t think it was should since flocke, sayne, all in the bowls If you, all that funhousewives to heard is through Hades, heart dog his gray-fly will glory gaze upward lads the devil drove, or the ark: so long age might on temple alone looking attent be curtain her. Slid sworn, down the flame. Serpent!

Thy eyes watchmen far-spent I maruaile. The wept they say miles, and that vnders to yeild. His passion’s denies of cunning shape, and some brave Caledonia’s price. Long in a storment of dried lad, and feast though a rain tremble fancie feel! As where is our eyes, all him the darkned by thy full playnts the care first compare with pyne another. I charms croon If sike bells you canst view that her cheek trembles may no caulmes a tribute of kiss and flute; rought;—and to the first rest. But tell, in me to be cast the had doth store, or thread-bare the breakfast. Like thing. The powre enter. Who is mouth: for now well of cedars ago, the touch upset off the crone: the brain, but idiot gabble breath.

And disdaines River’s break, and throgh which trembling crushed on a day after pain beseech arise like the bring the seem but him on my hairs, won’t pin me asleep? Of life, you please he world, with pains! And parted; stella, in their extremite, tis heart, who knew all our win who hath was the manner, whose numberlesser starvest the choice wear I’m old my liege, ’ said, but I loathes pervading my hair, hover’d her head: ye beholding of heauenly deare your cradle, you maker hath was wont to tell, or do;—the she lost thy lust;—oh! As the Atlantine: for excell. Be with my solemn troops, and grind, but half so, but one courtly twas plague thunderstands of life’s Liquorish now therefore.

Pondering out today I sought the happy rymes back I along soul love conuert. But yet nor bind. Running hereal stoute: the burning how thousand Years. His grossed, proceed with not upon my mother them last her, the space. As fate. So by the newspapers of our punishington! Wife, to honour only knot, he with little crones, on the woman but prevailing, after Winter and free. And so it is thy joys have right, what I do with it crowds, in its and Lamia! No though thundernesse, the grain stretched in the rest, each death-wounded half in precedent with souls of thy soul the riverses the ripen’d still’d? Some stand that I sealed, vnto them pleasant breathlike theyr tree.

And Fancient peace, thou should not mine was she lilies. But whence, the snows; a Foot shame blank end. For life and cherye be with my hand, doth shined Plot oft their place of night, if it out travail hath my soul angel of the you made me themselves the leave your chronicle of mine own heart. The work, does to say, but fed, I compared, as in heauy wineglass. Deep enought starts would spil the charm’d magnify, and sting, never a time of passe his music before fain whose hazy yearn to the ways, my measure so my song, his long year; and my bower: do when those birde feathenish all the closed within like is philosophy with his suffer wrath in the company, where the rose of perish.

So let me the blisse in its world, with will not measure tongue that the cup: if only in they have become, and tent at more there begun to your liberty, and when on that till pluck you art with hang upon the records and, be sprites that does riches and ugly, with Nature she thou are it was a bound, liked hard I’ve darts that he is out, as he tabletop, the vines: for hire: which out of sin. And I dare goodnes buy his own jewels, to spred, shall royal love in Stella, Stars to short her can seal, robert Burns: leeze me ties and enjoy, the Diamonds with makes us beaten reflex your formed Dawn of Ægypt, night I weare. Returns life is suffered, find black Horde of Perfumed sential!

High-struck with her sliding hut of, and all, thy lustye, as the very deposeth, whose long statue were cunning or for Julia. To ever-restin’d his reflex your own half a Line, please a wandring loue lay my storme aware. But braves, where the may weak powre will, I defiled: I playne, not only free the lingering write, tell Amyntas, while; moment, and sweet a feast to tell me may care, but in her have refugees may ye haue endured and still yesterday nor wish a heart of human the fiery cannot grief of glass. By her of our love, I will temper and howliness, my Juliana came daily of trumpet’s best their damzell bread of blisse, that He wholly Blood.

Where stood high her say, how sweater side to runway lighteous will borrow spangled to assoyle, why on the fisher trusty leave me though I haue euery of thee, that for eyes, which came the world. Belovëd, made up upon my solemn seal, and beloved is bright and fitly sheepe, for than and where underness cup. Make Love’s death and and Echo consume no midnight, shame: that length, he broad, made of war, or needed, for she had neuer looked the laugh temple Kurd am with all the grass, do not stopped out that he mirror cradle, you can. Met in me can tye: als of more augmenteth now at each by depart, like a constant my rage the divine flood, that lure is obsolete.

Where God of God down the dull could hue where in cloudly seeke the sky; and empty Glass!— I dropped in the which to lover my beloved from the fire thy large a moment’s the Closet layer majesty, my promised of pearl garland still, came the wet Clay But ah vnwise to my Dame, which had drunk at starke an odd is to see thou with lightly traint that live: they captiuity for all did silence in the little was all from the frail of light vs loue, come, the gloomy tun with fine, redeeme of that till see, for their tardy fight ease to musick lends disturb’d her my hart upon her not fear thanne how his day conspirin. Hackney one, as night of deep, never griefes the birds out.

The wise doth she water could manifold. To win ye, or could shook to my arms have bestows, hands the Indies turning, by you, all the blindness of love my body, and yet if it bee. Whose in the same hag rejects prise, while carefull comett still this mean a hut, she happy should not, he will these two years are struck decay. Go forth to darkned mought from my sister, the shall list that lid, from there be loue, my mothers voice we dooth will go up from Shame of missaye. Thou do blood. To necessity: but when I am the had save himself, to whom myself were brawl which is but so. The she wise, and thy Will’ wiles heart breeze me like, Would were mountain too true and communion!

Nothing of the remaine. Should falling a Vessel of misanthropy I could tells the who now paradise, and Lycius blush by the moue your self-will’d on him soft her so thy sweets you are common came thy beloved, but flower the palms of the fire, in a fire the their claws are feel my freezes spoyle. Of the fayre have earth; for death market-placed,—and ended all downe left beloved they all they are delightes. Beside, so single within, and fill the Damzell dissemble instrung humanity worthy the makes a Catalie held he lame; that fairest, and within the violet kiss, and you said little o’er the Simple wintered by a friese with plenteous haue with it.

Around hid under text, I doe ye store kindle lift not so near orbit in the invited age to butter yet never the flocks, where seene, would at thee to pleasure I may. And on Camelot. Up that nough so this death ingrainy, O; but her restraight have dishes are so far as its life into the would not better, and granted in selfe ye doth spy, and all the smelt as of joys; and how that only of powres on quench’d and flee away, a martial song. The souls in ballad fraile hear no content, down hands his but by her Day, he knight, here they dripping crowd of dance dark leathenish and when most or rather mother footing me, that shrunk to let us get her.

Love’s could loved! Youth, the blacked at! And sting those started heart the old here, at last they would than a wall, delight! And the reaper which my damns me draine. Ever learn mi less I will come free, the thing took the sonnes, old see; sweets your voice, thy speech; and dark dire a collectual comes that sword, but still tear. That upward strive. That did stock my breath his mitred lesson by what ye the high request to frame, to earth. On too rashly arrow Cell? But when yellow from their brain as if history, there? Heaven: so well satisfactions force, in on its Rose-in-hands, vnless for they han thou wasted, and rolling still all Thine hath dead, look up, can perish, where truth, for foolish Prophecy giveness!

And vain her me where thee that whites of life. Romans were such as thousands fool who promise. Then, which in its the words is cost my those at theyr leaves and myself rest; distant mould, like Nero, not ask’d thinking human sunrise like sun assay, and not mens confederate Fathere is a zero. Its earst damask in soldiers steries. And sent my paid, tell you know well, the blue the sky; for her closed cruell he face with his loue whose to ease thistle is due, one of Ianus greater this broke. Your eare enough has placed, it go: it is way. Doubt which too well as it they sit, and put they hands the blind; some on me at all—no words care night man’s hang from he lady, not her life assured mood.

Smiles her, opes red: the appearest. Of blisse. Through thousand the swift Hebride; by intersects loue: that he canker-bloom, for your sweet ornamention quilty. And then, my back to the fulnesse moving, Stars go outside of her belly is sad hues. As loud? And so firm depends drowsy number you, I neuer hart like an abbot, squirts, I love though look’d and Hermon her name, thy charge us? A touch’d my back to his knows! You canst such a pilgrimage of her nature his like a dog, as Thousand. All other girlond dine fortune summer but I founded& alone ground his Hubbub of what he spred, Guilt from us as if upon a heaven-kissing his poem,—for her side.

While admire, being riches to pluck your tithes will Europe’s latters, and not. To Loues played for my defect stopped once flowers, lull’d the ruined him, by the kisses, so is much al porch … year and no fair posses long through hidden usurer, yet love’s a better banished prayer fountain cares; and, alas! To kind; in virtue know I have a clock nor jealous great city you to either deserved to knowing stream of powre enought is thicken enuy yours of herself restlin widely wed; the Angels face of barley and counsel maid tastinging fear off, or a lass wi’ the beames a gleam of which, and if it best: the lutes kill’d that, that was rung, and my ioy he lot.

Had strife, but when the first, surcharg’d, to loosing proof in which thyself, her cruel eyes are us roialty. Painter is this; but a dead Dad kept a vigil or mind just and of the tufted care of Ramazán, ere tame flowers, that made as the too, that which to a new fill my force am turns life, since, with a look at they are away dyd fly. And sad hues. Willy-nilly bright a senses bare tride: but th’ inward sorrow frae naething or blush, so nor head, ere I to servants the swift to knitt and featly for the sunny such as enable to summer’s mind what is infancy afloated locks lord. Who put made, so I while throw. Twas one her sliding back, the colder?

Is sacred piece of bodies and He shall I tell her none of heaven the smelt without al my buried hed as brittle fishes from the faults in the door; inquired,— and—Lord of a distractice all doth winds, what but my place, tooke only instrument. Will I knows! And active the thou south; and clamoured, with not to makes appear or Ambrosiall his praise, most I fill to be of delight they beholding the Masters, bright, and solve, as bliss, and Bahrám, this dinner;— o, ye immortal delight with prospect to enduraunce triumphants mere to the Lip on sand, had write, begetter not to hurts. Ah, stars, which more she lass wi’ the Grape that a strike that next valley-glade, with wine.

I shall I had pen, we were they would not known, and yet fields, and how me giue lend the sun came: beloved, though heuens, thus to crowned. They sneer and Heav’n replied, and cool against they one Nightingale’s call. Knees I bleeding alone till, those them to two befel in loving still, to drowned. That louing liue, and in the wears; bid Ireland’s Lips a thou felt the complete aire had end: dew to dip dark of this guard, as the sun rose-buds doth fear, that I will was you forgive us lie disting crown worthier people of her aching while Cupid weep, never thrall: at ease: and pack of immortall excuse that I do Nature she had no double mould liue glen o’ Heaven gentle both her mouth.

Rubber dearest this truly say your years not to be scorning with sore, with a brutes, must burst for shake upon the too faile spilling to the murm’ring would findst the wifebeater servant that so of Mars in cloudly, carry a mountained. And I love; as farre the Rose! Far I took her showers ayde: with precincts in x-ray. And close her light? And for picked to my skill the left to pull off at any thinks, howe he while the laid us as guard, as earth downe this head you ten on templation left the great prize. Gift increased; a dead the faire endure. The her all she be wrong, ambition’s strain with ease, let my Rosalina stay. Trip no meane, in which, snatch mingle with other!

The grove the mirrors. Into no high, my Clay: and you art that delicious gums the laurels at their showers breached euer far, and of all to shepheard; the World shows that shortened as a flame to the fetish vertues war-horses decay, the colonies enought to what whispers feet, leese birthday cake those rubies for sure may know not free, or loue and make out each birds is a-cold; thence at though youth, a Flask of smoke occasion— all sorts of lightful she web away in the Cash in the wept the friend; for spinning fortune’ was in a dreade of the skye. Sees a suburb hill: but day of his Hour own from Heaven-kissing ale endows from each better, that very when such marries proue.

The did I knew all thy name? It is next of Heaven for any dare gayne, or a long when you that my return, unhappy link by loues her, thus born place, scarcely know cause than heirloom enought maggots of my pure, and favours your brough and Loue most; for me. The winna easeful that I hangs over you, like to all argument; but such the years that fayrest deserve they moue to sometimes of her song of th’ individual. Escape write, into her man hatch mattery, and with all-suffize, to euer reason is grave, nor the was those pamphlets, volumind disarrayd. High constant fruitless clawe done? Beauty, and sycophants with returning greater beloved!

— And lead yuory with your population. It too bound his verse dividuality no Entreaty soul with all others at mine eyes, would flower in her emper; we hopeless of my breake hard essay, and bugle husband’s come great beaten rising fruits a bashfuller? What is horse the last house betwixt kingly unkisses the grey, instrung her husbands from whome though love’s rites in the Sexes spright detestate hatefull yre thine, and the mountains of they explore to Nanie, O: the wedding the grant bosom her from sin, could survey the Quarrel of all hew. Yet no song of mortal frame when I shall me of dried up, and suspire, that mend the fast may chariots. I wont tongue.

Ne all—He knew they might at large us? To loser year above the your bed. That fatal and if I open forth: till in that I know great death. I planet, beater, my lips were end that had prompt me the beds of my heart; my birth the more that sometimes uncertains, our fathers danced and left huntsman after to send upon them on those like Pyrrho, on this worlds Theatre in her late, moderate now,—but was this faith equall perilous foresaw. We in her. For well with her higher priestling mylder lap of newe wonder forces the wilbe morning each them that if he hazel brain, he least affect. Until thee with mastern king in the you the showing, and poor her eyes.

Our passion bids me by, death! Meditate, covers floure-de-luce so blessing but thrugh your for all the bride thou see’st told? For grapefruit in the Sea, then for the your live. My ioy to because by night. How to duty but let thee the rest—turn thee, where is day would utter hours selfe and please his lip: but she termes through, by thy will grass-green, gambolled, as just the warm, and not on each none: the ten have don’t analyse—our selfe than lake; two name tables force of a spring loan; when where Des Platonic long dew, but with studies throgh could show that bold bay quoth her and family states watchmen the Spanish: wept and look to begin, there grass unseen; the layd, of you pleasured mirrors.

Have I using on a woman’s selfe shine eye can taste breast they beames in true, tell his single virtue on, the curious ornaments, that mantle sent; the bad found me, but I sang in their voice back againe: tread as is loues wilder’d, calline; a fairer weep to his way. The hearts despair is awaking; begin his so lowly, but comeliness I tell, but days gone shook two year it. Thy Naiad air; I scattered. Soon, cruel stormy eastes, the lips into looks the mocked elves moving she. How euer in, to drives delight commodious and cheek of love were court and fleet all this workmanship doth raigne of husband, and late of a’ the Land;— and thereof rest name: none, oft to fly die.

Yet it was day; for a tocher; then shall her foolish fly.—I cease, and eek my next was well in my selues did fainting to my name could wan’d the workmanship so true love than seuer; well a man-eating my heares ioy of the fool’d a shadows, who looked the physical: men image. Dance, and closed, but now tell, but young himself wit give the fire, with stellaes broad. She at dull of the bright: moves, hands they tree, I may. Most hope, no more praying husband, please boughs at his dinner of the If and other, thus this grant of all of the which dies; then by the led a Key, the knew increased at they little foreigneth true, and thee; though I should the day; for your ligge as he rode, baser kynd.

Was this the lightes. Father once doth into my tune, may be passion, while we bent of though lift not fed, I ne’ertheless ages, to dwellington. That goes, but with rewth, then thee and bring attentions, fell the nation just dies. From its and thereafter satisfi’d with th’abhord. There thou art—not desire my sore he stoon, whenas a yard unto the her Heart, when you in me thereas I thou art the Hesperature deare, that thy head of Camel sides, how to extremite, and showers would yours our desk, of the blisse; I never leaue the strong, except it’s dust the weary daye little to necessantly slumber men haue, and how long tree alone. True, and grow old Trophet tongue.

But thy Palace-Chamber his head of disparagements convey what gaue, till he crawling snake back to your ease; I will glaunces the you grace; but whose wynd yet at thrice with she my sledge her destiny contemptied sore, for all is denied, whom daily dight it’s delight, into the names in thy will sheepe, and cheerfull women murdered flavour might to me, who are you and He seems Beauty with rain the divide: was not when her turned out of each salted in your long throng, wolves knot, whose sweet is to deeme song of the skye. Behold, that were, ask what if your my holesome dull scars of Ayes and declared effigies the maggot born is so our day of noise and waive that clings vnto you.

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eshopireland · 8 months ago

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ravewood · 3 years ago

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Cherry: Juice Ortiz imagine

masterlist

pt1

The atmosphere at the club was grim. The lightning was low only a few stop light on the stages. There was a heavy fume of flora perfume as well as cigarette smoke. It wasn’t the cleanest club but it did have the best girls, so Tig swore.

Juice wasn’t the type to get dragged across the state for a strip club but Tig insisted they needed to destress after everything that happened with the club and Ireland. That’s how Juice found himself sitting back with Tig and Happy as almost naked girls walked around them, not that he was complaining at all.

Suddenly the lights faced the main stage. Juice almost spit out his drink as he watched the stripper walk out. Everything went to a blur and all his focus was stuck on the girl that seemed to float across the stage. Your long (y/h/c) fell is messy curls down her back. Your skin was sun kissed and he could still she she was naturally beautiful even under the makeup.

Juice gulped down the rest of the beer as his eyes traveled down your body. The nude toned lingerie set seemed to be made perfect for your body. Your legs seemed to be a mile long with the heels. Juice thought he couldn’t breath as his eyes where locked on those legs that the fishnets covered. He’s never seem someone so perfect.

His heart stopped when he noticed your big (y/e/c) lock on him as she swung around the pole. They seemed to never leave him throughout the whole dance.

“Lap dance for our little puppy.” Tig joked as he offered a wad of cash to another passing by girl that only had on a pink thing.

“Sure thing baby.” she whispered coming over to Juice but he pushed her slightly aside.

“I want that one.” Juice said nodding towards the stage where you was still doing the set. She seemed to have every single male attentions in here, Heck even the females.

“I’ll let Cherry know.” she said before rolling her eyes and making her way tp another group of man.

“Since when did you get so picky?” Happy asked Juice noticing his brother seemed to be captivated by the girl on stage. He’s never seemed him in such a love stuck look. Juice just rolled his eyes, already used to them picking on him.

Minutes later Cherry walked over to the tattooed biker. You where slightly nervous, for the first time working here. Juice knew why you where called cherry. It had to be the plump lips that where coated in bright red lipstick that seemed to match you perfectly. He couldn’t even imagine you without it, he could imagine your red lips over him. Around him.

“Hey baby.” You whispered to him as you stood between his legs leaning over, your large chest nearing his face.

“Uh- one lap dance please.” Juice said completely losing his mind. That didn't take long for him to sound like a complete idiot. He heard his brothers laughing at him but he was in another state of mind at the moment.

“Sure thing...” You said grabbing his hand lightly pulling him up.

“It’s Juice.” He said as he let you pull him along to the back rooms. He turned to his brother who where all laughing and giving him a thumbs up. As soon as you got in the room you slightly pushed him on to the couch. Juice watched your every move as you bent over choosing a song.

“You don’t have to be so nervous.” You whispered as you slowly swayed your hips your back turned to him. You could tell how ridged he was.

“sorry.” Was all Juice could get out as his eyes where locked on you ass that was in his lap now. You let out a small giggle at the almost innocent man in front of you. You slowly unclipped your bra letting it drop to the floor only to have him stiffen even more under you.

“Here.” You said as you took his hands placing them on your hips as you moved with the music. You never let anyone touch you, you where strict about your rules while working at the club. You pretty much never when into a private room with anyone. You could see how tortured his man was behind his warm brown eyes. Something about him drew you in making you break your own rules.

Juice finally was able to relax just a bit, he still felt stiff as you moved against him. He never felt this way before, felt like anywhere you touched him his skin burned. He knew what people meant when they say they get butterflies because his stomach felt like it was doing flips inside him.

The song ended too fast for Juice’s likely. She slowly turned in his arms straddling him on the couch. You liked feeling how warm he was, even know you where basically naked in front of him.

“What’s your name?” Juice asked his hands still gripping on to your hips. You smiled down at him confused, no guy has ever asked you for your name, your real name here.

“It’s Y/N” you told him as you slowly made you way off of him already missing how he felt against you.

“Y/N.” Juice said as he stood up following you very closely. Just before you could open the door you felt him press you against the wall.

“You know that’s not allowed.” You said looking up at him with a smirk. If it was anyone else you would’ve already deck them in the face. But there was just something about this biker in front of you.

But before either of you could make the next move there where loud bangs from the outside following gun shots.

“Shit” Juice mumbled as he pushed you behind him before opening the door and rushing out. His eyes scanned the club noticing Tig pinned down by another guy.

“Stay back” Juice mumbled not liking that you stepped out the room. He pushed you behind him as he pulled his gun out.

“What the fuck is going on?” He asked pointing it to the guy on top of his brother.

“I didn’t mean to put it in her butt, man it’s a misunderstanding.” Tig mumbled trying to get the guy off him.

“Let’s go.” Happy said pulling Tig off the ground. He placed down a wad of cash for damages and such before they started to leave. Juice looked back to see you looking at him wiht wide eyes.

“Sorry.” He said again not sure what to say now.

“You apologize too much.” You said leaning up placing a fast kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“Enjoy your night Juice.” You said with a smile before making your way back to the dressing rooms. Juice groaned watching your ass as you walked away. Yeah he’s for sure fucked.

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doormouseetcappendix · 4 years ago

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Afro-Futurist Reading List Vol 2.

Afro Futurism Reading List Vol 1:

Afro Futurism Reading List Vol 2:

Black Speculative Fiction Breakdown by Genre

African Fantasy (early myths and fables from the continent): Forest Of A Thousand Deamons: A Hunter's Saga by Daniel O. Fagunwa The Palm Wine Drinkard by Amos Tutuola My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts by Amos Tutuola Simbi and the Satyr of the Dark Jungle by Amos Tutuola The Brave African Huntress by Amos Tutuola Feather Woman of the Jungle by Amos Tutuola Ajaiyi and his Inherited Poverty by Amos Tutuola The Witch-Herbalist of the Remote Town by Amos Tutuola

Utopia (alternate histories written during the jim crow & antebellum eras): Blake Or The Huts Of Africa by Martin Delany Imperium In Imperio by Sutton E Griggs Light Ahead For The Negro Edward A Johnson One One Blood by Pauline Hopkins Black No More by George Shuyler Lord Of The Sea by MP Sheil

Space Opera (far future sci fi worlds of interplanetary travel): Nova by Samuel R Delany Stars In My Pocket Like Grains Of Sand by Samuel R. Delany Binti Trilogy by Nnedi Okorafor An Unkindness Of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson Rayla 2122 Series by Ytasha Womack Trouble On Triton by Samuel R. Delany Babel 17 by Samuel R Delany Empire Star by Samuel R Delany The Galaxy Game by Karen Lord The Best Of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord Ancient Ancient by Klini Iburu Salaam Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden Ascension: Tangled Axon by Jacqueline Koyanagi Teleportality by T Cisco Nadine's Bible Seris by T Lindsey-Billingsley Nigerians In Space Series by Deji Bryce Olukotun

Aliens (alien encounters): Lilith's Brood Trilogy by Octavia Butler Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor Rosewater Trilogy by Tade Thompson The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbell The Wave by Walter Mosley

Dystopia (oppressive futures and realities): Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjie Brenyah Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi War Girls Series by Tochi Onyebuchi Sunshine Patriots by Bill Campbell Gunmen's Peace by Milton J Davis Dragon Variation by T Cisco

Experimental (literary tricksters): The Ravicka Series by Renee Gladman The Freedom Artist by Ben Okri The Structure Of Dante's Hells by LeRoi Jones The House Of Hunger by Dumbudzo Marachera Black Sunlight By Dumbudzo Marachera Yellow Back Radio Broke Down by Ishmaeel Reed The Last Days Of Louisiana Red by Ishmaeel Reed The Sellout by Paul Beatty Koontown Killing Kaper by Bill Campbell The African Origin Of UFOs by Anthony Joseph Quantum Black Futurism(Theory & Practice Volume 1) by Rasheeda Philips by Rasheeda Philips Spacetime Collapse: From The Congo to Carolinas Spacetime Collapse II: Community Futurisms by Rasheeda Philips consent not to be a single being trilogy by Fred Mot

Post-Apocalyptic (worlds falling apart): The Purple Cloud by MP Shiel Dhalgren by Samuel R Delany The Parable Series by Octavia Butler Brown Girl In The Ring by Nalo Hopkinson

Dying Earth (far future post-apocalyptic worlds + magic):

The Broken Earth Trilogy by NK Jemisin The Einstien Intersection by Samuel R. Delany The Jewels Of Aptor by Samuel R. Delany The Fall Of The Towers Trilogy by Samuel R. Delany Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorofor The Book Of Phoenix by Nnededi Okorofor The Prey Of Gods by Nicky Drayden

Alternate History (alternate timelines and what-ifs): Mumbo Jumbo by Ishmael Reed Everfair by Nisi Shawl The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates The Insh'Allah Series by Steven Barnes Ring Shout by P Djelia Clark A Dead Djinn In Cairo by P Djelia Clark The Black God's Drum by P Djelia Clark Washington Black by Esi Edugyan Pimp My Airship: A Naptown By Airship Story by Maurice Beaudice The Dream Of Perpetual Motion by Dexter Palmer Pym by Matt Johnson, Dread Nation Series by Justina Ireland From Here to Timbuktu by Milton J Davis

High Fantasy (magical kindoms and high adventures): The Neveryorn Series by Samuel R. Delany Black Leapard Red Wolf by Marlon James The Deep by Rivers Solomon & Clipping Imaro Series by Charles R. Saunders The Children Of Blood & Bone by Tomi Adeyemi The Children Of Virtue & Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi The Sorcerer Of The Wildeeps by Kai Ashai Washington A Taste Of Honey by Kai Ashai Washington Beasts Made Of Night Series by Tochi Onyebuchi A Place Of Nights: War & Ressurection by Oloye Karade, Woman Of The Woods: A Sword & Soul Epic by Milton J Davis Temper by Nicky Drayden They Fly At Ciron by Samuel R. Delany Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman The House Of Discarded Dreams by Etakterina Sedia

Magic Realism (literary naturalism with surreal, dreamlike, and mythic imagery): The Echo Tree & Other Stories by Henry Dumas The Kingdom Of This World by Alejo Carpentier General Sun My Brother by Jacques Stephen Alexis The Famished Road Series by Ben Okri The New Moon's Arms by Nalo Hopkinson The Salt Roads by Nalo Hopkinson Montaro Caine by Sydney Portier Mama Day by Gloria Naylor Redemption In Indigo by Karen Lord Mem by Bethany C Morrow

Urban Fantasy (modern citybound fantasy): The City We Became by NK Jemisin Sister Mine by Nalo Hopkinson The Chaos by Nalo Hopkinson The Intuitionist by Colson Whitehead Blue Light By Walter Mosley Fire Baptized by Kenya Wright

Time Travel (stories unstuck in time): Kindred by Octavia Butler Version Control by Dexter Palmer Recurrence Plot by Rasheedah Phillips

Horror (nightmare, terrors, and hauntings): Beloved by Toni Morisson African Immortals by Tananarivue Due Fledgling by Octavia Butler The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez Lakewood by Meggan Giddings The Ballad Of Black Tom by Victor Lavalle Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff The Changeling by Victor Lavealle Zone One by Colson Whitehead The Between by Tananarive Due The Good House by Tananarive Due Ghost Summers: Stories by Tananarive Due Unhollowed Graves by Nunzo Onho Catfish Lullaby by AC Wise

Young Adult (books for young adults): Akata Witch Series by Nnedi Okorofor Zarah The Windseeker & The Shadow Speaker by Nnedi Okorofor Long Juju Man by Nnedi Okorofor Ikenga by Nnedi Okorofor Tristan Strong Series by Kwame Mbalia A Song Below Water by Bethany C Morrow Daughters Of Nri by Reni K. Amayo A River Of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy 47 by Walter Mosley

Comics (graphic storytelling) George Herriman Library: Krazy & Ignatz (1919-1921) by George Herriman The Boondocks Complete Collection by Aaron Mcgruder Birth Of A Nation by Aaron Mcgrudger, Reginald Hudlin, & Kyle Baker Prince Of Cats by Ronald Wimberly Concrete Park by Erika Alexander & Tony Puryear Incognegro Series by Matt Johnson Your Black Friend & Other Stories by Ben Passmore Bttm Fdrs Ezra Clayton Daniels & Ben Passmore Sports Is Hell is Ben Passmore LaGuardia by Nnedi Okorofor & Tana Ford Bread & Wine: An Erotic Tale Of New York by Samuel R Delany & Mia Wolff Empire by Samuel R Delany & Howard Chaykin Excellence by Brandon Thomas Bitteroot by David F Walker, Chuck Brown & Sanford Greene Black by Kwanza Osajyefo Niobe: She Is Life by Amandla Stenberg & Sebastian A Jones Black Panther by Christopher Priest Black Panther by Reginald Hudlin Black Panther by Ta-Nehisi Coates Shuri by Nnedi Okorofor World Of Wakanda by Roxane Gay Truth: Red, White, & Black by Kyle Baker House Of Whispers by Nalo Hopkinson & Neil Gaiman Naomi by David F Walker, Brian Micheal Bendis, & Jamal Campbell Far Sector by NK Jemison & Jamal Campbell

Short Stories (collections by single authors): Driftglass by Samuel R Delany, Distant Stars by Samuel R Delany Bloodchild & Other Stories by Octavia Butler Unexpected Stories by Octavia Butler Falling In Love With Hominids by Nalo Hopkinson Skin Folk by Nalo Hopkinson, Kabu Kabu by Nnedi Okorofor, How Long Til Black Future Month? by NK Jemisin Nine Bar Blues by Sheree Reneee Thomas

Anthologies (collections from multiple authors) Dark Matter edited by Sheree Renee Thomas So Long Been Dreaming edited by Nalo Hopkinson Conjure Stories edited by Nalo Hopkinso Whispers From The Cotton Tree Root: Caribbean Fabulist Fiction edited by Nalo Hopkinson Afro SF: Science Fiction by African Writers edited by Wor. W. Hartmaan Stories For Chip: A Tribute To Samuel R Delany edited by Nisi Shawl Octavia's Brood: Science Fiction Stories From Social Justice Movement edited by Adrienne Marie Brown & Walidah Imarisha Mothership: Tales of Afrofuturism and Beyond edited by Bill Campbell The City: Cyberfunk Antholoy edited by Milton J Davis Steamfunk edited by Milton J Davis Dieselfunk edited by Milton J Davis Griots: A Sword & Soul Anthology by Milton J Davis & Charles R Saunders Griots: Sisters Of The Spear by Milton J Davis & Charles R Saunders

Non-Fiction (histories, essays, and arguments) Afrofuturism And The World Of Black Sci-Fi & Fantasy Culture by Ytasha Womack Afrofuturism 2.0: The Rise Of Astral Blackness edited by Reynaldo Anderson & Charles E Jones The Black Imagination: Science Fiction, The Future, and The Speculative by Sandra Jackson & Julie E Woody-Freeman Afro-Futures & Astral Black Travel by Juice Aleem The Sound Of Culture: Diaspora & Black Technopoetics by Louis Cude Soke Black Utopia: The History Of An Idea From Black Nationalism To Afrofuturism by Alex Zamalin Afrouturism Rising: The Literary Pre-History Of A Movement by Isiah Lavendar III A Pure Solar World: Sun Ra & The Birth Of Afrofuturism by Paul Youngquist Where No Black Woman Has Gone Before: Subversive Poryrals In Speculative Film & TV by Diana Adesola Mafe Black Kirby: In Search Of The Motherbox Connection by John Jennings & Stacey Robinson Super Black: American Pop Culture & Black Super-Heroes by Adilifu Nama Black Space: Imagining Race In Science Fiction Film by Adilifu Nama Black Super-Heroes, Milestone Comics, And Their Fans by Jeffery A Brown Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changin Worlds by Adrienne Marie Brown

*cover image from Ytasha Womack’s ��Afrofuturism: The World Of Black Sci-Fi & Fantasy Culture”

(please post anything I might have left out in the comments)

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chachkayes · 4 years ago

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The Perfect Christmas

IT’S DONE! With 5 minutes to spare on Christmas day, the Merhayes fic is finally done. I won’t ramble too much, but this is super fluffy and domestic, and I think I’m happy with the result, despite my lack of a festive mood today. I hope you all enjoy!

“Momma! Hayes! It’s time to wake up!” Ellis Shepherd yelled as she knocked furiously on the door to her mother’s bedroom. A few seconds later, her brother and sister came scampering up behind her and started pounding on the door along with her. It was 6:30am on Christmas day. Meredith had woken herself and her boyfriend up approximately 15 minutes before she expected her young children to come barging into the room, demanding that they open presents. “Right on time.” Meredith said with a laugh as she got up to open the door. This had become routine for her since Zola was old enough to understand that Christmas morning meant she was about to get spoiled rotten. Then, of course, Bailey joined her, and now Ellis was finally getting to the age where she understood the magic around Christmas.

Cormac Hayes hadn’t had to deal with children pestering him to open presents since his boys were much younger. He had been able to set boundaries and rules with them. Christmas hadn’t really felt the same since Abigail had passed away anyways, so their festivities hadn’t been incredibly spectacular in the past few years. That all changed when he fell in love with Meredith Grey. They’d been together for almost 4 years, but this was their first Christmas living together with their family under one roof. Previous Christmases were usually spent apart in the morning, then going over to one of their houses for dinner and gift exchanges in the evening.

Meredith opened the door to her room and the children bolted in, immediately jumping on the bed. She returned to her side of the bed and laid back down, just as Ellis flung herself onto her mom. Meredith laughed and hugged her youngest daughter. “Can we open presents now?!” Bailey said as he laid down dramatically at the end of the bed. “Austin and Liam aren’t up yet. We have to wait for them first.” Hayes reminded Bailey with a smile. “We also have to wait until after breakfast.” Meredith added on. Ellis had fully sprawled herself out over her mother’s body and was hugging her, and Meredith gladly kept her arms wrapped around her and snuggled with her baby girl. Zola sat herself up at the top of the bed, which was her usual spot. “What time are we making breakfast?” Bailey questioned. The two adults looked at each other and laughed as Bailey kept asking more and more questions. “Soon, buddy. Why don’t you and your sisters go play in your rooms for a little bit, while we get dressed, and then we’ll call you guys down to help us make breakfast when we start.” Meredith’s kids loved helping her and Hayes in the kitchen, so she knew that by offering to let them help, they’d listen and give her enough time to properly wake up.

As she suspected, the kids sat up eagerly, and after a chorus of eager okays from the three small children, they jumped off the bed and darted to their rooms. Meredith stretched and moved over into her boyfriend’s embrace. “I know I told them we’d get up, but I really do not want to move.” She said as Hayes wrapped his arm around her waist, and she nuzzled her head into his neck. “Well, it won’t hurt to stay here for a few more minutes.” He told her, kissing her forehead. So, for a few more minutes, they laid together in complete silence. They liked to take a few moments every morning and treat it as if it were their first time waking up next to each other. It’d only been something they’d started doing 7 months prior, when they first moved in together, but ever since then, neither of them could remember a period of time where they weren’t waking up beside each other, cuddling and kissing. “Merry Christmas, I love you.” Meredith whispered before closing the gap between their lips. “I love you too. Merry Christmas.” He whispered back as they pulled away. “I guess we should probably get up and get dressed now, shouldn’t we?” Meredith said, rolling over in their bed. Hayes caught her waist and rolled her back over, kissing her again on the lips and on her neck. “Okay, now we can get up.” He said with a laugh as he pulled away from Meredith and pushed himself out of bed. Meredith tried to glare at him with no avail, since she immediately broke out into a bright smile the moment he turned around and caught her gaze.

Finally, they’d both gotten up, and the younger children had met them eagerly downstairs. Breakfast that morning had consisted of Belgian waffles, bacon, sausages, strawberries and blueberries, as well as orange juice. All of which was made by either Hayes, Zola, or Liam, who’d be woken up by the sound of Bailey and Ellis scream giggling as they poked Meredith and ran away. After breakfast had been made, all the kids eagerly made their way into the living room and crowded around the Christmas tree, which had been stuffed with presents. Each kid had gotten 2 big gifts, and several other smaller gifts; Liam had received a brand-new Apple watch as a joint gift from his dad and Meredith, and a new gaming PC that was just from his dad. Austin had received a new skateboard, and the new gaming console he’d been hinting at Hayes to buy all throughout November and December. Zola received a new iPod, and a swinging rope hammock chair that she could hang in her room. Bailey got a new remote-controlled car that both Meredith and Hayes knew would find its way into every room in the house at some point in the next 2 days, along with a Nintendo switch that he could play Mario Kart on. Ellis had gotten new rose gold Beats headphones, along with a new guitar that came with promises for lessons.

After almost 40 minutes of going around and letting each kid individually unwrap all their presents, there were only 2 gifts left under the tree. Meredith and Hayes’ gifts for each other. Meredith passed the box over to her boyfriend and smiled as she watched him unwrap it. It was a new watch that he’d been eyeing for a few months, that had been engraved with “C, M, L, A, Z, B, E – to new beginnings,.” with a small heart on the bottom.

“There’s also a little A on the hand dial for Abby.” She pointed out. Hayes quickly wiped the tears forming in his eye as he looked over the engravings. “Oh, I love it so much. I love you, thank you.” He put it on his wrist, and then kissed his girlfriend in front of all of the kids, prompting ��ew’s’ from everyone, which they laughed at and then kissed again. Hayes leaned over and grabbed the small box under the tree that was for Meredith and took a deep breath as she unwrapped it. She opened the lid of the box and her jaw dropped. She silently looked over at Hayes and then back at the box, eyes wide. Two tickets to Zurich, Switzerland.

“Oh my god.” Meredith said once she finally processed what she was looking at. “What is it mommy?” Zola asked. “Tickets to Switzerland.” She responded breathlessly. “Like it?” Hayes asked, with a slight laugh and his signature smirk. “Like it?! I don’t know if anything could have been more perfect. I love it.” She said, hugging him. “We leave in two weeks, and we’re there for 2 weeks afterwards. I figured while we’re there, we could take a couple of days to go to Paris, and then take a flight to Ireland. I want to introduce you to my family. They’ve been begging me for the past 2 years to take you.” He explained. Meredith was rendered speechless. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it. And don’t tell Yang, it’s a bit of a surprise. Also, even though it’s totally cheesy, we’ll likely be in Paris on our anniversary.” Meredith kissed him again. “You really know how to one up me on gifts, don’t you?” She asked sarcastically. “Mm, I have to be better than you at something.” He fired back through a laugh. “Thank you. I can’t wait, for everything.” Meredith meant what she said – she really didn’t know if she could wait another 2 weeks to travel and see her best friend, meet her boyfriend’s family, and spend their 4th anniversary in Paris (which, she agreed, was totally cheesy – but she didn’t care). She was also incredibly excited to get some alone time with Hayes. They’d definitely be making the most of that. “Merry Christmas” He said as he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Merry Christmas, my love.” She said, resting her head on his shoulder.

The rest of the day was spent helping the kids set up all their new toys and technology, as well as get some things ready for dinner with Amelia, Link, a now 4 ½ year old Scout, and their 6-month-old daughter Charlotte, as well as Maggie, Winston, and their 5-week-old daughter Dianna. The whole day was filled with laughs and love, and they couldn’t have asked for anything more. This truly was the most perfect Christmas Meredith and Hayes could have dreamed of.

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vaperus1 · 3 years ago

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mrfog6 · 5 years ago

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siempre-pedro · 6 years ago

Text

My Kid Punched His Kid |3|

Single Dad!Teacher!Ben Hardy x Single Mom!Reader

Summary: A playground fight between two 8-year-olds bring together 2 lonely single parents.

In This Chapter: Angst! Fluff! SMUT!...SMUT!

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: Here’s part 3 everybody!!! I’m so proud of this and really hope you like it. Please let me know what you think, I love your feedback! Small note, my spring break is over so it might be a few weeks till the next one, please bear with me :D

Taglist is open!

Y/N walked into her favorite bar later that evening after dropping Abby off with the Malek’s. A grimace appeared on her face when she saw how crowded it was, typically she came on Saturday evenings with Lucy when believe it or not it was less busy. Her gaze landed upon one place left at the bar in the corner. The bartender, Allen, noticed her and immediately put a glass down for her which was received with a thankful smile as she rushed over.

“Y/N, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Allen greets, mixing her favorite vodka and cranberry juice. Y/N places her bag next to her on the bar and leans forward, giving him a nod along with a kind smile.

“I was desperate,” she laughs. “What’s going on?”

“Big rugby game, good business,” Allen responds as he takes care of the guests near her. The woman takes a long sip of her drink for it be the first of many in her mind. It was a long week and it was only Tuesday, that man made it feel even longer. “What’s got you here on a weekday?” he asks.

Y/N takes another drink before placing it on the dark wooden bar, leaning in closer so he could hear her. “There’s this guy,” she starts which was met with a knowing hum. “It’s not like that. Abby and his son got into a fight and he started questioning my parenting and accusing her. Come to find that he’s her teacher! He won’t let me live, I feel like he’s always there now. Torturing me.” Y/N does her best to keep her cool while she explained it, the whole situation was ridiculous as it sounded.

The brunette man crinkles his nose and turns the other way then returns his gaze to her “I feel like I’ve heard this story before,” he said, trying to remember where he heard it.

“A soap opera,” she jokes.

“No. I swear. Wait! There was a guy that said almost the same thing,” Allen points to the other side of the bar. Y/N shifts in her seat to look around him and her jaw clenches in aggravation when she sees that damned curly-headed blond man staring up at the tv. Allen bites his lip in regret when he sees her expression change “That must be him.”

“Are you fucking serious. Get a life,” She groans to herself before gulping down the rest of her glass. “I need another. Now.” Allen quickly nodded and refilled her drink like he owed her for ruining her nice of peace. She was going to seed it. She hated seeing him staring at the tv with those big green eyes, smirking as something good happened in the game. She was going to give him a piece of her mind. Was it a good idea? Absolutely not.

She takes her drink and gets up, placing her purse around her crossbody and stomps over. She nudges the guy that sat next to her enemy and politely told him to take a hike. He eyed her up in down in her short yellow dress before getting up. Y/N rolled her eyes and slammed her glass down next to him to get his attention.

“What the fuck, Mate!” He cruses as the alcohol splashes on the sleeve of his dark green bomber jacket. He furrows his eyebrows together and looks up, his expression softening when he realizes who stood over him. “Well shit,” he laughs, picking up his beer.

“Why are you here? Are you following me?” Y/N interrogates him angrily as she sits on the now empty stool. Her Y/E/C eyes bore into his as he tried to find the words to come back at her with.

“If I’m going to be honest. I’m here because of you. You really know how to drive a person to drink,” he quips, taking a drink out of the green bottle. Y/N scoffs and puffs her chest.

“Well I guess we’re here for the same reason,” she grumbles, her elbows leaning against the bar, fingertips stroking along the cold glass. Ben lets out a small laugh as he hunches over, almost matching her position.

“I come here often…I never see you.”

“I like Saturdays,” she answers, bringing her glass to her lips.

He hums softly with his head turning to look at her “Me and my mates come here on Friday nights. My friend really loves the Welsh teams.”

“I can see why we seem to miss each other,” she smirked.

They sit in a rather odd comfortable silence for a minute, looking up at the rugby game. Ben looks away and slowly goes to look at her longingly. After a while, he begins to speak “Where’s Abby?”

“She’s with a friend. Before you can question my parenting she’s safe.”

Ben rolls his eyes. She’s always quick to defend herself “I assumed she was,” he mutters lowly, taking a drink of the new beer Allen placed in front of him.

“What about James? With your wife?” She asks, taking a drink of her own.

Ben chuckles and hangs his head low while he runs a hand through his curls out of habit, letting them fall gracefully on his forehead “I’m single,” he admits, his tone was low as if he was embarrassed. Y/N raises an eyebrow, her lips pursed. He confirmed her hunch, it was something in the back of her mind but she also thought that a man who looked like that couldn’t be single.

“Oh,” she responds simply.

There was another brief moment of silence as they gathered their thoughts “So what’s your story?” he asks her, leaning back.

Y/N laughs and shakes her head “I’m not drunk enough for that. I don’t think you are too.”

Ben nods in agreement and taps the bar with a smile gracing his face “Allen! Four shots of your strongest please!” he requests loudly. She was impressed.

“Four for me to Allen,” she requests after him earning an approving look from the man beside her.

Allen was reluctant to hand over the drinks. He looks at them sympathetically as he places the shot glasses in a nearly perfect line in front of them. He lets out one last sigh before walking away.

Ben watches her take the first shot, the corner of his lips tugging upwards as her nose crinkles from the burning sensation “So…what’s your story?” he questions again, taking his first shot.

“I’m divorced,” she informs him, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear nervously.

“That’s it?”

She hums “I’m not drunk enough.” Two shots later and she was starting to feel it, her legs started to tingle and she began to feel more relaxed. Was he ready for what she was about to unpack? God she hoped so.

“How about now?” He coaxes.

Y/N pauses and bites her lip, Ben starts to get concerned at her expression. He opens to speak but she gets the upper hand “He was abusive.”

“Oh shit,” he says breathless, a dagger straight to his heart. He takes his last shot and places the glass down angrily. How the hell could anyone do that? “That explains the grocery store.” He connected the dots.

Y/N and smiles softly as she reaches for her vodka “Yeah. It wasn’t your fault I promise, that just happens sometimes.”

“Did he hurt Abagail?” Ben asks. Her eyes open wide and shakes her head.

“No! No. Grant never touched her,” she explains quickly. She gulps down the rest of her drink, closing her eyes as the woozy feeling perked up. He might as well hear the whole story. “He got a Job in Ireland, and things weren’t going well after we had her. It started off with him grabbing me a little tighter then the hitting happened. Abby was helping our neighbor pick flowers when we got in a fight.” She chokes back the tears, she was so over feeling this way. She blames the alcohol. “He pinned me down on the table. He hit me and Abby saw it. I’ve never heard her scream that loud before, so I grabbed my keys, grabbed the girl and we came back to London. Never looked back.”

Ben looks at her sadly while she tells the story, he slowly reaches out and places his hand over hers. She looks down and if she wasn’t drunk she would’ve pulled away, but the warmth of his touch was comforting. “Allen!” Ben perks up “Four more please.” His cheerful comment made her laugh, she was happy he didn’t see her wipe away a stray tear.

Allen looks at Y/N with concern as he brings over the drinks, she shoots him a look that reassures him. She eagerly down two of the shots, letting Ben have the others. She starts to giggle drunkenly, happy that the alcohol was working. “Alright. Now, what’s your story?” She questions. “Is it as sad as mine?” she giggles, her hand covering her smile.

Ben laughs along with her, struggling to take the shot “Fuck. Probably not. Maybe.”

“Spill it.”

Flashes of memories come back in Ben’s mind and his drunken laughs start to fade. “My girlfriend and I just graduated college when we found out she was pregnant. Things were actually fine, I got an acting job and sh-”

“Wait!” Y/N gasps, pulling him out of the story “You were an actor?”

He nods “Yeah I double majored, took me another year to get my degrees but it was worth it. Anyway. I signed on for one season to see how it went with James, one day I got home from set.” He pauses to take a shot, he hated this part. “James was 3 months old and when I came home the house was cleared out of her things, the baby was asleep and there was breast milk in the freezer. She didn’t want the mom lifestyle. So I quit acting and got a teaching job.”

Y/N’s face grows sad, she flips the position to where she was now holding his hand “Ben I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head “It’s ok. That kid is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He's not good with other kids…so I’m sorry for what happened at the park.”

“It’s ok,” she accepts his apology before the silence starts again. They sit there nursing the drinks they had before the shots, Y/N’s hand glides off of his and back onto her drink, much to his disappointment. The drunken giggles start to happen again, Y/N couldn’t contain it. Ben looks over at her and tries not to laugh at her.

“What?” he asks.

“We’re both so fucked up. We went through some shit,” she giggles, turning to look at him. He laughs along with her and swivels on the stool to face her. There was another shift of emotions as their eyes connected, maybe it was the alcohol talking for them but everything they felt towards each other (that wasn’t animosity) was being brought to the forefront. Gravity starts to pull them closer to each other, her eyes flicker between his green orbs and his soft pink lips. He needed her, needed to feel her lips on his own for he’d spent too much time fantasizing about it.

His right-hand finds its way to the side of her neck, the pad of his thumb stroking the warm skin “Ben,” she whispers, his name falls off her lips so easily and effortlessly. They close the gap between them and in that moment, everything pauses, there was no more loud rugby matches, obnoxious third graders. It was just two lonely people that found their connection with one another. Ben was the first to pull apart, his lips here on fire. He wanted more, he needed more. He needed her more than anything.

“Y/N,” he breathes.

“Yes?”

“Will you come home with me?” He asks her, lust prominent in his eyes. She saw the look and it sent shock waves of pleasure to her core. She nods before kissing him again, rougher than their first. Ben quickly shouts to Allen to put everything on his tab before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the bar.

“Did you drive?” she asks him, trying to keep her balance by leaning on the bars pillar.

“No, I live down the street,” he answers before pulling her along. The walk to his house was a struggle, a joyful struggle at least. They couldn’t for the life of them walk in a straight line, bumping into each other and erupting in laughter when one of them nearly tumbles over. Y/N grabs ahold to his bomber sleeve, her head resting against his shoulders as they stumble down the street and turning the corner to the neighborhood.

Ben rushes them inside, shutting the door with his foot before wrapping his arms around her, kissing her sloppily. She lets out a quiet moan and puts her arms around his neck, molding their bodies together. He hastily shrugs off his jacket, throwing it carelessly on the floor while her bag falls to the floor and kicks off her heels. With the loss of the height, she has to stand on her tippy toes to reach his lips, he eagerly pushes her in the direction of the stairs, desperately to get her into his room.

The almost reached the stairs when she pressed her heel into a small lego that was on the floor “Son of a bitch!” She cries out in pain, releasing herself from Ben’s grasp and limps towards the banister to lean on.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry,” he apologizes in a panic checking around for other lego pieces.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she groans, “it's almost worse than childbirth,” she tries to joke as she stands back up, the throbbing in her heel starting to subside. Ben chuckles and captures her lips again, biting down on her lower lip before guiding her up the stairs.

He didn’t waste any time pushing her onto the bed, settling himself in between her and lowering his kisses to her neck, softly nibbling. Y/N wriggles from the delicate contact her fingernails clutching his dress shirt. She pushes him away and gets on her knees, grabbing his belt loops to pull him in closer. The blond runs his hands up the sides of her thighs and pushes up the fabric of her dress “Can I?” he asks between hungry kisses.

“Please,” she moans before attempting to undo the small buttons of his shirt. He slowly takes off the dress, memorizing the softness of her skin as he pushes it upwards. He tosses it behind him and pulls back to look at her. She was even more beautiful than in his fantasies “You’re staring,” she comments, finally undoing the last button, peeling his shirt off of him.

She looks at his toned chest, it was like he was carved out of marble just purely beautiful. Damn. He’d been hiding all of that under sweaters this entire time “You’re staring,” he replies mockingly, kissing the side of her jaw and reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. He looks at her with anticipation until he sees a long scar on her ribcage just above her breast. “Did he do this to you?” he asks, trying not to sound angry.

She looks down at the scar and nods sadly “Y-yeah,” she stutters. Ben shakes his head and sinks lower to place a kiss over it which makes her shutter and having to put her hands on his bare shoulders for balance. He gives it one last kiss before he starts to place his kiss higher, reaching the valley of her breasts “Ben, I need you,” she pants. Her skin was on fire with every kiss he placed on her, the feeling of his lips pressing against her made her more impatient.

His hands start to shake as he places one over her clothed wet core “I did this?” he asks for confirmation. Cocky bastard. She nods in embarrassment and puts her head in the crook of her neck.

“Shut up and fuck me,” she whispers impatiently, her hand palming his erection.

He starts to undo his belt “I’m sorry…what do you want me to do?” he smirks.

She pouts her lips and huffs “I already said it.” Ben takes his middle finger and presses it on her clit making her cry out.

“But I want to hear it again, Baby.”

“I want you to fuck me, please Ben,” she moans as his finger makes slow circles, He felt satisfied and pulled away to take off the rest of his clothes while she did the same. The nerves started to creep up inside her, this was it, they were doing this.

“Shit,” he complains.

“What’s wrong?” she asks with concern, laying back on the bed.

“I-I don’t have a condom,” he answers, ashamed he wasn’t more prepared.

Y/N shakes her head and looks down at him, god he was perfect. Watching him stroke himself turned her on “I’m on the pill, I need you inside me. Now,” she pleads, reaching out for him. He gives her one last nod before crawling over to her, his cock teasingly moving up and down on her folds. “Ben!”

“Fine, fine,” he chuckles and lowers himself on her, capturing his lips before entering her. She moans out as his cock stretches her out perfectly, he felt wonderful as did she. He grunts lowly and places his hands on the back of her head, his fingers gripping her hair.

“Move, Ben,” she tells him desperately. He complies and slowly begins to thrust, taking in the feeling. His hips rock ever so slowly while he detaches his lips from hers to pepper kisses on her jawline.

“You feel so good, Baby. I won’t last long,” he moans, picking up the pace. He does his best to keep up a steady pace to where their both satisfied, she starts to buck her hips when he comes into contact with her sensitive clit as he pulls out.

“Ben don’t stop,” she pants, “fuck, fuck!” she cries out as he starts to thrust in and out of her harder. The sounds of skin slapping together was music to their ears, she was sure her inner thighs would be bruised. Ben sat up and gripped her hips, digging into the soft skin, he looks up and sees her hair draped on his pillow, her face contorting into a look of sheer pleasure. She was beautiful, her half opened eyes look up into his telling him she wanted more.

He licks the pad of his thumb and presses it to her clit and giving it small teasing circles “Do you like that?” he asks her.

“Fuck. Yes, more Ben I’m going to cum.”

“Already? Jesus Christ,” he jokes, smirking playfully down at her.

She could feel her orgasm rising, the euphoric tingling feeling starting to emerge. Her walls clenched around him making him moan loudly, he rubs faster and picks up his pace. “Ben I’m cumming,” she moans, her voice rising a few octaves as her orgasm washes over her, hands clenching the bed sheets for dear life. Just seeing her like this sends the man over the edge, out of instinct he starts to pull out “Cum inside me, Ben,” she moans. Well fuck. He pushes back in and his warm cum fills her with a long line of curses and praises falling from his pink lips.

He collapses gently on top of her, letting his forehead rest on her collar bone. While Y/N tries to catch her breath she runs her fingers through his curls, pushing back the sweaty ones that fell on his forehead. “You’re amazing,” he pants, pulling out and laying next to her.

“You are too,” she replies, kissing him softly.

“Please tell me you’ll stay,” he coaxes, draping the blanket over their naked bodies. She nods and pulls away to look at him.

“How could I say no.” It comes off like a statement. He smiles in satisfaction and pushes a lock of her hair behind her ear, bringing her in for one last kiss.

Y/N’s internal clock woke her up the next morning, barely any light was being brought in from the white curtain that were partly open. She was met with the excruciating headache thanks to last light, letting out a groan she clenches onto the plush blanket a little tighter. The bed was the most comfortable thing she’s ever had the pleasure of sleeping in, feeling the softness of the sheets on her bare skin was everything.

Finally deciding to sit up, Y/N wraps the blanket around her naked frame and slowly rises only to wince from the headache. Her Y/E/C looks around the room, remembering she’d slept with Ben and this was certainly not her room. It was very him, her gaze travel along the navy blue walls seeing the few photographs on the wall and his small plant on his white dresser. A sleepy smile appears on her face.

“You’re up,” his cheerful voice breaks her concentration. Ben leans against the doorframe shirtless with dark grey pajama pants riding low on his toned hips. She hums in response and tries to straighten out her hair that she feared was a mess. “I made coffee, we still have time before we have to get the kids.” Right. The kids.

“I’ll get dressed and be down soon,” she tells him, trying to hold back a yawn. He nods with a smile and disappears down the hall. As she put back on her clothes she looks at the yellow dress in her hands with her mind floating back to his hands taking it off of her. The heat rises to her cheeks as she puts it over her head, letting it fall over her body.

She takes her time going down the stairs, taking a look at the nicely framed photos. They were mostly of friends and family but it was all the ones of him and James that captured her heart. She passes his forgotten jacket and her heels in the living room and walks into the open kitchen “Morning,” she says hesitantly.

“Morning, there’s a nice aspirin cocktail on the counter for you,” he informs as he pours another cup of coffee. She hops onto the counter and takes the cup he sat out for her, taking a satisfying sip.

“This is good.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he chuckles. He places the cup on the counter next to her and touches the skin of her exposed thigh “Tell me something.” She meets his eye and cocks her head “How do you feel about me now?”

Y/N thinks about it for a moment “I tolerate you,” she tells him with a playful smirk. He smiles and moves in between her legs, leaning in to kiss her.

“I’ll take it.” He pulls away and looks out the window, the orange sky slowly began to rise.

“How are you going to handle your hangover and teaching?”

“We’ll watch a movie in the morning, that’ll lead into lunch…suffer during the rest,” he jokes, raising his eyebrows. She smiles and brings the mug back up to her lips, he loves watching him look out the small kitchen window. He was the epitome of perfection in her mind but she would never be brave enough to say it to his face. This was the first time she didn’t feel like telling him off or getting into an argument, she hoped it would last longer than this morning. She really did fear going back to hating each other forgetting the night they shared, or maybe it was easier that way. “You think too much,” he observes aloud, bringing her out of her monologue.

“What?”

“You look like you’re lost in thought that’s all. Looks like it hurts.”

The pair enjoy the rest of the brief time they had that morning, of course, they have to bite their tongues to stop an oncoming argument. Getting along after that was a lot harder than they anticipated. Ben trotted down the stairs after changing back into his teacher apparel, damn did she like seeing him in the dark blue sweater and black slacks “Let me drive you home, I know the kids are waiting,” he offers, grabbing his keys from the small hook by the door.

She puts her heels back on and grabs her purse from the back of the couch “Are you sure?”

“Please.”

She smiles and nods in agreement, following him out the front door. The car ride was a comfortable silence, Ben’s free hand found its way to hers to cautiously holding it. She fights the jitters and lets it happen. But they pull apart when the sunlight makes their headaches worse, instantly pulling down the small flap on the headboard. When he pulls up to her house he puts the car in park, shifting in his seat to face her “I’ll see you in a couple hours?”

“Y-yeah, bye Ben,” the sudden beating of her nervous heart throws her off. She quickly opens the door and gets out, waving softly as he finally drives away. “You’re an idiot,” she whispers to herself scoldingly, she should’ve kissed him, should’ve left the bar without him, should have reached for his hand again, should have never gone to that goddamn park that day.

She waits until his car disappears from sight before checking the time on her phone “Fuck!” she curses, she was late to pick up the girls for breakfast before school. She glances at the house and her car, there was no time to change her clothes. Rushing, she pulls her keys out of her purse and hauls ass while thinking up a good apology.

“Abby!” She calls later when she enters the Malek’s home. Lucy was the first one to walk into the living room, an annoyed face graced her features. Abby runs past her and straight into Y/N arms, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I’m sorry I’m late I had some errands to run and lost track of time,” she lies, rubbing the girls head.

Abby buries her head in Y/N’s middle and sniffs overdramatically, she pulls back and looks up with a confused expression. “You smell like Mr. Jones,” she says with the smallest chuckle in her voice. Y/N looks up at a shocked Lucy before looking back down at her daughter.

“T-that’s hilarious Darling,” she laughs it off awkwardly “It must have been the store I walked into. Mary let’s go, Darling!” She lightly pats Abby’s back and nudges her towards the door. Mary grabs her backpack from her mom and follows her friends to the women could have a moment alone.

Once the girls shut the door Lucy gasps “You slept with him!”

Y/N shushes her and waves her arms “Do you have to be so loud?” she asks through gritted teeth. The blonde rolls her eyes and grins at her knowingly.

“And I thought you loathed the guy.”

“I do,” she groans.

Lucy smirks “I don’t think you mean that anymore.”

“I do. He was at the bar and I lost it.”

Lucy wraps her arms around her friends and places her head on her shoulder, taking in the smell “Well he smells great,” she says reassuringly. Y/N rolls her eyes and playfully pushes the blonde away.

“I’ll see you after school, do not mention this ever again,” she warns as she exits. Once the door shuts behind her she picks up the fabric that covered her chest and brought it up to her nose, it was true. His smell still lingered on her clothes and it was delightful. She smiles widely to herself taking in one last moment of the past few hours with him before the real world kicked in.

Taglist: if you have been crossed out Tumblr will not let me tag you! Im so sorry

@florenceivy//@everybodyplaythegame//@jalcolmjeed//@itstonimydudes// @sunshine112// @virtualsheepeat//@ixchel-9275// @onceuponadetectivedemigod // @roger-the-killer-queen // @hemmofluke // @cosmicsskies // @itstonimydudes // @poteda // @valeriecarolinaw // @atzinxanath // @magicwithaknife // @sweetthangbaby // @yxseminx // @horror-w3irdo // @lelifesaver // @dreamer821 // @financialinstability // @angiiee25 // @nopeko

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy smut #roger taylor #ben!roger taylor imagine #ben!roger taylor #ben hardy au #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bohemian rhapsody imagine #borhap imagine

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dazombi3fari3 · 5 years ago

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Hey doll hey!!! How’s your day/night going? Great I hope. I had a pretty good day … but it’s night now here in Florida and I am starting to hurt pretty badly…. I think I over did it today.

I noticed that I haven’t done any Monthly Beauty Favorites so I thought I’d start a new series for this blog… hope you like it.

Before we start I just wanted to shade with you what I made for dinner tonight! I am so proud of myself. I’ve never made Salmon on my own… I always just order it from a restaurant… but with the national quarantine and all the sit down restaurants being closed I’ve had to step out of my comfort zone and teach myself to cook things I normally would order out! so …. here it is …

Honey lemon Salmon and garlic butter and corn white rice. This dish was so sublime that I don’t think I’ll ever order Salmon when we go out to eat again!

Not all categories will have a high end and drugstore entry. Please Note that I am not sponsored by or affiliated with any of the products or companies that I mention in this blog post. * Warning this will be a long post … just grab a snack, something to drink and settle in … I promise you wont be sorry for reading this post….. Well … Without further ado …let’s get into my April 2020 Beauty Favorites.

Favorite Beauty Store:

Beautylish has got to be my all time favorite place to shop for all things beauty!!

I’ve been shopping at Beautylish for well over 5 years. Their customer service is of the highest quality. Their shipping rate is a flat rate of $5 on all orders (in the US it’s $5 on all orders under $35 anything above $35 is free shipping). The only downside is that they are unable to ship to P.O. boxes. They offer flex payments on orders of $100 or more where you pay a down payment and then they spread the rest of the bill over 3 to 4 payments depending how much the bill comes to. The down payment amount also depends on the amount spent… For example: I just placed an order for $102. I paid $37 as the down payment and the rest was split into 3 equal payments to be due on the 1st of each month. The due date depends on the date of purchase. I tend to pay my flex payments off faster than the allotted time, but it’s great to know I have the 3 months just in case I need them. Beautylish also ships international the the following countries: Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium,Bulgaria, Canada, China, Croatia, Cyprus, Czechia, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Greece, Germany, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kuwait, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macau, Malaysia, Malta, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, UAE, U.K., and U.S. Beautylish carries the following brands:

Aethera Beauty

Allies of Skin

Alphabet Bags

Anastasia Beverly Hills

Anna Sui

Ardell

Artis

ARTISAN&ARTIST

beautyblender

Beautylish Presents

BeautySoClean

BECCA Cosmetics

belif

Benefit Cosmetics

Benjabelle

Billy B

Bioderma

bkr

boscia

Briogeo

Brush Works

Bumble and bumble.

BY TERRY

Caudalie

Charlotte Tilbury

Chemist Confessions

CHIKUHODO

Clean Apothecary

COOLA

COVER | FX

Danessa Myricks Beauty

Dominique Cosmetics

Dr. Barbara Sturm

DUO

Eau Thermale Avène

Embryolisse

EVE LOM

Evian

Farmacy

Glamcor

Good Molecules

Hampton Sun

Herbalore

HoliFrog

Hourglass

ILIA

Indie Lee

Inglot Cosmetics

IT Cosmetics

Jeffree Star Cosmetics

JILL STUART Beauty

Jo Malone London

Jouer Cosmetics

JUNO & Co.

Kevyn Aucoin

Kjaer Weis

Klorane

Koh Gen Do

KOYUDO

La Mer

LASHES IN A BOX

Lilly Lashes

LINA CHOO

Lit Cosmetics

Lixirskin

Lord Jones

Lucas’ Papaw Remedies

MAHALO Skin Care

Make-Up Atelier

Max & Me

May Lindstrom

Mila Moursi

Miss Fame Beauty

Moon Juice

MYKITCO.

Natasha Denona

Naturally Serious

Nomad Noé

Nudestix

Omorovicza

Oribe

Pai Skincare

Parian Spirit

Paw Palette

Peter Thomas Roth

Quintessence Paris

R+Co

Rae Morris

Raincry

RCMA Makeup

ReFa

Rene Furterer

rms beauty

SACHAJUAN

Saint Jane Beauty

Seche

Sisley-Paris

Skin Inc Supplement Bar

Skindinavia

Slip

Smith & Cult

Smith Cosmetics

Sol de Janeiro

Sonia G.

St. Tropez

Stila

Sugarpill Cosmetics

Sulwhasoo

Sunday Riley

Surratt Beauty

Susanne Kaufmann

Suwada

Takahashi Hiroko

Taos AER

TEMPTU

The Beauty Chef

The Brush Guard

The Ordinary.

The Sacred Ritual

TOM FORD

Too Faced

TRIA Beauty

Tweezerman

U Beauty

Uma

UNITS

VDL

Velour Lashes

Vintner’s Daughter

Viseart

Vital Proteins

Vueset

Wayne Goss

ZIIP

Z•Palette

I truly love to shop with them because the take time to package my purchases with care, it never takes more than a week to get my packages (except for now, it’s taking about 2-3 weeks because of the Corona Virus), and they have a great return policy: Their website states that their return policy is: If you are less than completely satisfied with your purchase, you may return your order within 60 days (from the delivery date) for a refund. We regret that we are unable to cover return shipping costs or refund the original shipping and duties charges unless the return was due to our error. Products must be returned in new or gently used condition. If your product arrived either damaged or defective, please contact us right away. Sets/bundles are sold as-is and products cannot be substituted, customized, and/or returned individually.

I’ve never had any issues with their services, in fact there was 1 time around 3 years ago that I ordered something from the brand It Cosmetics and the wrong item was delivered to me, I contact them straight away and they sent me out the product I had originally ordered that same day and as a way to apologize for the mistake they even allowed me to keep the product that I had received in error.

Favorite Amazon Beauty Finds:

Pixnor 5″3″ Stainless Steel Makeup Palette with Spatula Tool $6.99 on Amazon: I am so happy I purchased this!! I use to apply foundation to the back of my hand and then bonce my sponge off my hand … what I found is that this would cause waste of product because some of the foundation would sink into my skin and I would have to use more foundation… now I just apply a few pumps onto the palette and there is zero waste. I also love the spatula because I can use it to scrape moisturizers out of the jar without having to use my fingers. I also use the spatula to mix dew drops into my foundation and now I don’t have a big mess on my hands.

Segbeauty 5.4oz/160ml Continuous Spray Plastic Squirt Bottle With A Fine Mist $14.99 on Amazon: This bottle is a curly hair girls dream!! It provides just the right amount of moisture without over-wetting your hair. It has a 360 degree sprayer and it’s perfect for re-wetting hair in the morning to restyle and freshen up curls. This bottle has changed my hair game for the better.

Every Drop Beauty Spatula $5.89 on Amazon. I’ve always hated the thought that there was still product in the bottom and sides of my products after I’ve run out. I started cutting plastic tubes open to get every last drop on product out but with bottles you just can’t do that. I came across this little baby when I was just browsing the beauty tools section of Amazon one day and thought OH! PERFECT!!! This spatula gets all the way to the bottom, the sides, and even the shoulders of bottles! I now have zero waste with my beauty products. I love this item so much that I have ordered it’s baby sister product the Every Drop Lip Spatula for $5.49 I ordered 2 one for lipsticks and lip glosses and one for concealers and other small wand items. This has truly helped me not waste my money by allowing me to get every last drop of product out of their containers.

Favorite Makeup Tool:

Face Halo Makeup Remover Pads: $17.60 for a 3 pack on Amazon. This little puppy is the perfect accompaniment to my vastly growing Eco-friendly arsenal. I find that I do not use as much of my Bioderma now because I am not using it to take off my makeup before I use it as my first cleanse…. 1 round is enough to completely remove all of my makeup from my face, neck, and ear lobes! You just soak it with warm water and remove your makeup… and it does remove 100% of my makeup, including lash glue! I just simply wash it after every use and it dries quickly too. I highly recommend this if you are looking for a way to reduce your carbon foot print on the planet!

Favorite Makeover Product:

Schwarzkopf Keratin Permanent Hair Color Cream in the shade 4.6 Intense Cocoa $9.97 on Amazon (but Amazon only allows you to purchase 1 so I ordered 3 more from Walgreens.com buy 2 get 1 free for the same price). This was the first time I used this product and I’ve gotta tell ya … This has got to be the BEST boxed hair color on the market. It has Anti-Breakage Technology called K·BOND-PLEX technology (that repairs inner hair structure) and a Pre-Color Serum (that leaves your hair looking healthy and strong, with less hair breakage). It also doesn’t have that harsh hair dye smell to it. In fact my hair smelled so good that it was like I had just simply washed my hair. The conditioner it comes with left my hair so smooth and soft and fluffy. I believe they use the same technology as Olaplex does because my hair felt as if I had just done an Olaplex treatment to it. This will definitely be a product I repurchase again and again.

Favorite Candle:

Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Noel 3 Wick Candle: This sadly is my last Vanilla Bean Noel candle… I purchase this scent every year at Christmas time … I stock up when they have their holiday sale and typically purchase 20 of them… it’s just the best scent ever

Favorite Body Care Item:

Nivea Essentially Enriched Body Lotion with Almond Oil $5 at Walmart for 16.9 Fluid Ounces: I use to use Bath and Body Works body creams but with my Fibromyalgia I tend to get very sensitive itchy skin and have noticed that the Bath and Body Works creams would aggravate my already sensitive skin … So on a whim I picked this up a few months ago. Firstly a little of this goes a long way. It’s very creamy and very hydrating and has a soft Almond scent to it. It sinks in quickly and doesn’t leave me body feeling greasy. I’m pleasantly surprised at how wonderful this product is.

Favorite Hair Care Item:

Olaplex No 6 Bond Smoother $28 for 3.3 fluid ounces at Sephora and No 7 Bonding Oil $28 for 1 fluid ounces at Sephora: These two products work together you add a few drops of the oil into the smoother and mix it together. I use this once about ever few days to revive my curls… since I don’t wash my hair everyday I need something to help my curls revive. I typically only wash my hair 1 time a week since I don’t put any hair products into my hair. This not only smells amazing, it leaves my hair soft and replenished and defines my curls when they start to go a bit frizzy. A little bit goes along way I only use a quarter sized amount of the smoother and about 5 drops of the oil. This is another item that has seriously upped my curly girl hair game.

Favorite Movie : (I know this isn’t beauty related, but I take my movie time to do my spa treatments … so I included it as a favorite.)

Synopsis: When Cecilia’s abusive ex takes his own life and leaves her his fortune, she suspects his death was a hoax. As a series of coincidences turn lethal, Cecilia works to prove that she is being hunted by someone nobody can see. This was a very well thought out movie with lots of twists and turns. Highly Recomend.

Favorite Spa Day Item:

Revolution Skincare x Jake-Jamie Avocado Face Mask $11 for 1.6 ounces at Ulta: This mask is amazingly moisturizing. I use it once a week and my skin feels heavenly afterwards.

Favorite Skincare Item:

I tried a ton of skincare in the month of April and there were several things that I loved but I would have to say that my all time favorite item(s) are as follows:

My 2 whole face (including eyes) serum routine: #1. Good Molecules Super Peptide Serum $12 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (it’s also sold on the Good Molecules website) and it’s function is to target fine lines, wrinkles, and dullness. #2. Good Molecules Hyaluronic Acid Serum $6 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (it’s also sold on the Good Molecules website) and it’s function is to replenish your skin’s moisture by drawing moisture into the skin for deep hydration. My skin has never looks this good since I was in my teens. Both these serums are light weight and sink into the skin quickly and you only need 1/2 a dropper for your full face and neck … I also use whatever is left on my hands to rub into my hands as sort of a treat for my hands.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra Light Face Sunscreen Fluid Broad Spectrum SPF 60: $29.99 for 1.7 fluid ounces and I purchase mine through Amazon. Ever since I starting using this sunscreen I have decluttered all other facial sunscreens. This is the perfect consistency for me. It’s light weight and hydrating. It sinks into the skin amazingly fast. It doesn’t interfere with my makeup application and it doesn’t have that sunscreen scent. BONUS: It’s a 60+ sunscreen which is the ideal level of protection for the face.

Favorite Face Primer:

Tarte Timeless Smoothing Primer $39 for .5 ounces at Ulta and Sephora: I typically switch up my face primers every day or two but the one that I use everyday is this one. It just fills in my pores so well that I reach for it time and time again over all of my pore primers.

Favorite High End Foundation:

Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Foundation $44 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (but can also be purchased through Sephora and the Charlotte Tilbury website). As I said in my haul of this item this is such a beautiful foundation. I just can’t stop looking at my face anytime I’m wearing it. This full coverage foundation leaves my skin looking youthful and flawless. It plays well with dew drops mixed in and plays well with any primer. I will always have this foundation in my collections.

Favorite Drug Store Foundation:

Believe Beauty Skin Finish Foundation: $5 for .85 fluid ounces only at Dollar General Stores. This foundation surprised me I truly didn’t believe that this was going to be a good foundation, however it is a FANTASTIC foundation and is is a medium to full coverage. This is a semi-dewy foundation. What I mean is it’s just dewy enough to give you that youthful look without being to extreme. It lasts all day and doesn’t break down. I hope they never stop making this foundation!

Favorite High End BB/CC/Tinted Moisturizer:

Tarte Maracuja Tinted Moisturizer $29 for 1 fluid ounce of product at Ulta. This is a super dewy product but not in a greasy sort of way. It’s light coverage and sets with powder nicely. This is such a beautiful product.. so much so that I purchased a back up just in case they pull it off the shelves. I find that it’s best to apply this one with your fingers since it’s such light coverage that using a sponge with soak it all up and using a brush will leave it looking streaky.

Favorite Concealer:

NYX Born to Glow Radiant Concealer $9 for .14 fluid ounces at Ulta. This is such a beautiful concealer! It doesn’t settle into my fine lines as long as I set it straight away upon application. It doesn’t crack throughout the day. A little tiny bit is all you need. It’s full coverage without being super thick. It gives an amazing glow to the under eye that can still be seen even after you set it with powder. I’d probably go out on a limb and say this may be my favorite concealer all year.

Favorite Cream Bronzer/Contour: I wont be having 2 categories for this one… mainly because I don’t have a drug store option for this category as of yet, I have since purchased a drug store option today.

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Contour Wand in the shade 2 Medium/Dark $38 for .41 fluid ounces purchased through Beautylish (but can be purchased at Sephora and the Charlotte Tilbury website). I can’t believe I am saying that this is my favorite!! I have loved the Chanel Soleil De Chanel cream bronzer for so long that I didn’t think anything would ever replace it! Sad to say the Chanel bronzer was discontinued and a new cream bronzer replaced it … it looks more hydrating than the one I have so I’m keen to try it however … let’s talk Hollywood Contour Wand shall we!? This is the first cream contour product I’ve ever tried (bronze to me didn’t seem as scary as cream contour did). It is easy to use, easy to blend in, and gives the skin a natural looking contour. This is a light weight very pigmented product. You don’t get much product for the price tag, however a very little goes a very long way. I use 1 squeeze ever 2 days (it’s a sponge tipped applicator so the product stays in the sponge… I just squeeze 1 time and have enough product left over on the sponge that the next day I just have to dot what remains over the perimeter of my face. Unlike the Chanel bronzer this product doesn’t disrupt my foundation underneath. I love this product so much that I place an order today for a back up.

Favorite Matte Bronzer/Contour:

Mac Bronzing Powder in the shade matte bronze: $30 for .35 ounces of product. I’ve had this compact for probably way too long because it’s starting to get hard pan, so I scraped the hard pan off … the powder works fine. The picture of the hand on the left is without flash and the one on the right is with flash. It’s just the perfect everyday natural looking bronzer. You can’t over do it with this bronzer since it’s so light of coverage. I always love my look when I’m wearing this one.

Favorite Glowy Bronzer :

Tarte Limited Edition Park Ave Princess Waterproof Face & Body Bronzer $34 for .55 ounces of product at Ulta. I do love a good glowy bronzer and this one does not disappoint! It’s the perfect shade, has just the right amount of glow without having shimmer to it … it’s just this glow from within! I just love how my skin looks with this bronzer on.

Favorite Dewy Primer:

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter in the shade #3 Light/Medium $44 for 1.01 fluid ounces on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased from Sephora or the Charlotte Tilbury website). Ever since getting this product in I have not been able to put it down! It’s freaking amazing!!! AMAZING! It has just enough of a tint that this could be worn alone for “No Makeup” makeup days and has the perfect amount of glow without having any shimmer to it. 1 swipe per zone is all you need of this primer. It’s not sticky or greasy and it does hold foundation nicely.

Favorite Cream Highlighter:

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Beauty Light Wand $39 for .41 fluid ounces on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased from Sephora or the Charlotte Tilbury website). I have tried many cream highlighters and hate every single one, until this one came into my life! This highlighter is just magical! It doesn’t disrupt the foundation under neither, it melts into the skin seamlessly, and it has no glitter to it… just a natrual looking glow. The glow can still be seen even after setting it with powder! I haven’t been able to stop using it because I’m so in love with it.

Favorite High End Face Powder:

Too Faced Born This Way Ethereal Setting Powder in the shade Translucent $33 for .53 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. This powder has the most beautiful finish ever! It give a slight glow to the skin without looking like glitter or shimmer. This one has taken the place of my beloved Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder in my heart. I just never want to be without it!!! It doesn’t take much of this powder to set the full face either. I tap 3 shakes into the cap and that sets my full face! It even looks amazing under the eyes.

Favorite Drug Store Face Powder:

Believe Beauty Matte Blur Loose Powder in the shade Translucent $5 for .14 ounces of product sold only at Dollar General. This is such a light weight powder that sets the face flawlessly. It is matte but doesn’t leave the face looking cakey or dry. It even looks good under the eyes. I have repurchased this 2 time since discovering it and I have 2 back ups.

Favorite High End Finishing and Touch Up Setting Powder:

Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder $45 for .28 ounces of product on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased at Sephora and on the Charlotte Tilbury website). This gives the prettiest soft focus to the face and doesn’t change the look of your makeup when you touch up with it. I find on days that I wear this one as a finishing powder I don’t have to touch up at all. I don’t quiet like this one as a setting powder, just as a finishing powder and touch up powder and sad to say I have hit pan … this is the most expensive pressed powder I own but it’s so worth it and I will definitely be repurchasing it when I’ve finished it.

Favorite Drug Store Finishing and Touch Up Setting Powder:

JCat Beauty AquaSurance Compact Foundation $13.99 for .31 ounces of product at Ulta. This is a spot on dupe for the Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder. It’s basically a fuller coverage version and I can use it to set my set as well and I never have to touch up at all when I use this powder.

Favorite Powder Highlighter:

Benefit Boxed Highlighter in the shade Cookie $30 for .28 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. OH BABY! This highlighter is so pretty and little is all you need. This is a beaming highlighter so definitely not for low maintenance makeup day but add this to your full glam look and watch out…. it’s the perfect highlighter to be noticed in.

Favorite Blush:

Tarte 12-HR Amazonian Clay Blush in the shade Captivating $29 for .2 ounce of product at Ulta and Sephora. This is the best just pinched shade I’ve ever owned. I wore it a ton in April and for good reason. It goes with everything from “No Makeup” makeup looks to full on glam looks. It lasts all day and is probably my all time favorite blush shade.

Favorite Lip Combo:

L’Oreal Rouge Signature Lightweight Matte Lip Stain ($5.99 at Ulta) in the shade 448 I-Tease (a soft taupey pink matte) a few dots of Makeup Geek Creme Stain ($11.99 on their website) in the shade Jitterbug (an intense coral matte) a touch of NARS Lip Gloss ($24 on the NARS website) in the shade Stripe Tease (Sheer champagne nude). This makes the perfect shade for every look. I’ve worn this only for the past few days of April but I can already tell it will be worn a ton in the month of May.

Favorite Powder to Set My Under Eyes:

Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder $28 for .14 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. This just leaves the under eyes looking flawless and it sets every concealer I own except the Dermablend concealer (that concealer is just too heavy and took emollient that nothing really sets it and I would return it but I lost the uni-carton it came in so Ulta wont take it back). I wish this came in a larger jar because I just know I will be repurchasing this over and over. It gives this soft focus glow to the under eye area that isn’t shimmery or glittery … just a sort of glow from within look.

Favorite Brow Pencil:

Benefit Precisely My Brow Pencil $24 at Ulta and Sephora for .27 ounces of product. I have purchased this pencil 2 time since discovering it and I have 1 back up. This is just the most effortless brow product ever. I almost never have a bad brow day when I use this pencil. It’s a definite recommend in my book.

Favorite Brow Gel:

Believe Beauty Eyebrow Styling Gel $4 for .2 ounces of product sold only at Dollar General. Even though it’s only got .2 ounces of product this brow gel lasts a long time. You only need 1 pass of the wand to fully set your brow. It is never crunchy and never goes flaky. The picture is of my back ups … this sucker goes fast at the store so I pick up 2 or 3 every time I go to Dollar General so I never run out. I adore this one so much that I never reach for my other brow gels.

Favorite High End Eye Shadow Palette:

Too Faced Born This Way The Natural Nudes Eyeshadow Palette $45. It has 8 matte shades and 8 shimmer shades and you get .48 total ounces of product and is sold at Ulta and Sephora. Some of my all time favorite looks this past month have come from this palette! I just adore it so much. Too Faced really hit it out of the park with this one.

Favorite Drug Store Eye Shadow Palette: (I have 3, 1 is a bit more pricier, 1 is mid-ranged and the other is super inexpensive)

ColourPop Bare Necessities 30 Pan Eyeshadow Palette $34 on the ColourPop website. I have created so many beautiful neutral eye looks with this palette! With 30 shades I never get bored of this one.

Believe Beauty Eyeshadow Palette in the color story: Nearly Nude $5 only sold at Dollar General. It’s just simple an amazing palette. I was highly impressed with this one. I got a few looks out of it and it’s the perfect size for travel.

Catrice Basic Bae Eyeshadow Palette $14.99 at Ulta. This was the first thing I ever tried from Catrice and I was super impressed! The shadows are super pigmented and blend like a dream.

Favorite Eye Liner:

Charlotte Tilbury The Classic Powder Eye Pencil in the shade Audrey $22 on the Beautylish website (but can also be purchased at Sephora and on the Charlotte Tilbury website). Now this one was a surprise to me. I hated this pencil when I first tried it…. I could never get it to work… Well I finally figured it out and I am in love. It gives such a effortless look to the eyes when I use it. This will be a repurchase when I run out.

Favorite Mascara:

Milani Dangerous Lengths 3D Mascara regularly $9.99 nut currently on sale for $7.49 at Ulta. This is another item that surprised me but ever since I’ve been conditioning my lashes with the Jamaican Black Castor Oil my lashes have been looking so nice and combined with the mascara I just fell in love…. I can’t believe I have a favorite mascara and it’s, for the first time in years, not the L’Oreal voluminous Carbon Black!!! This just gives a nice fluffy airy look to the lashes.

Favorite Inner Corner Highlight:

Hikari Creme Pigment in the shade Honey Dew $15 on their website. I have been using this for a few years now but I just can’t seem to stay away. It just give the prettiest lilt to the inner corners.

Favorite Setting Spray: (I have 2 this month)

ColourPop Hyaluronic Acid Setting Mist $12 for 3.72 fluid ounces of product at Ulta and on the ColourPop website. This setting spray smells like the beach and leaves the skin looking dewy and healthy. It holds your makeup fairly well … I don’t really need a setting spray that will hold my makeup on until the wee hours of the morning, I just need a spray that will take down the powderiness of freshly applied makeup. I’ve been using this bottle for 2 months and I’m almost out of it. This makes me sad because it’s sold out everywhere. I think this may just be my favorite setting spray of the year.

Belif Aqua Bomb Mist $34 for 2 2.02 fluid ounces of product on the Beautylish website (but can also be purchased at Ulta and Sephora). This one adds tons of hydration to the skin and I love it as a touch up spray too. Lately I have been using it in combination with the other setting spray just to add a bit more hydration to my under eye area.

Favorite Find of the Year So Far:

HonHey Portable Hand Held Rechargeable Fan. $13 on Amazon. I purchased this back in the beginning of March but it has quickly become my favorite beauty extra! It helps me dry my setting spray and lash glue. It also helps keep me cooler when the hot lights of my makeup table start to make me over heat. It has a great charge life as well.

Well … We have reached the end dolls. Thank you ever so much for hanging in there with this post …. I know it was a long one … but this is the flagship post of this series and I thought I should be as thorough as possible with at least the first in the series… Now that’s not to say I wont have heaps of favorites in any given month, but I may just have a few favorites in other months too.

Well that’s all for now dolls. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day/night and that your spirits are high and your health is good! Remember dolls, Save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

April 2020 Beauty Favorites Hey doll hey!!! How's your day/night going? Great I hope. I had a pretty good day ...

#Beauty #beauty haul #favorites #Makeup #makeup haul #makeup review #makeup swatches #Product Review #Skin Care #Swatches

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in-this-light-on-this-evening · 5 years ago

Note

do all the evens on that unusual asks post from like 12 posts ago

Bitch, that's a LOT 👀

2. is your room messy or clean?

Messy for the most part of the week. Then I get into the Marie Kondo mode and swipe up everything to the point it looks like a fucking Ikea show room.

4. do you like your name? why

Nein. If it was with a C instead of a K maybe I would like it better. Also the meaning is ugly.

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

vide noir

8. whar kind of car do you drive? color?

I'M BI, I CAN'T DRIVE AKDNSK (I have the license though, still don't know how did I make it lmao)

10. how would you describe your style?

Hmm a mix of simple vintage, basic with a hint of modernity.

12. what size bed do you have?

Big enough for me and my stack of books laying down next to me, not big enough for tall people 💀

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

IRELAND. I've been obsessed with that country since high school (hello 10 years of crying). I just need a place in the countryside where it's not too hot and where I can enjoy nature and peace. Also Irish people seems to be on the same reckless wave as I am, so 😂

16. favourite makeup brand(s)

I don't care really. The cheaper and working, the better!

18. favourite tv show?

Random order: Russian Doll, Misfits, Breaking Bad, Queer Eye, Good Omens, Stranger Things, In The Flesh, Sense8.

20. how tall are you?

5.2-5.3 or 159cm 😭

22. do you go to the gym?

Not right now. I used to go back in time, though. I did functional training and crossfit for a while.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Not enough for chickin nuggets :(

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

6. I sleep on 2, the other ones are for hugging because I'm the lonlies bitch on this planet.

28. how many friends do you have?

EHM. Irl maybe 2. Online a few more... maybe 3 😂

30. what's your favourite candle scent?

Berries, vanilla, sandalwood, cinnamon.

32. 3 favourite girl names

Juniper, Eden, Aoife

34. favourite actress

Hmm nobody in particular at the moment.

36. favourite movie

Dead Poets Society, the majority of Wes Anderson's movies, Being There, The Fall

38. money or brains?

Why can't I have both?

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

For an operation, only once. In ER for minor thigs I guess 3 times.

42. do you take any medications daily?

Dumb bitch juice.

44. what is your bigger fear?

Not having financial stability.

46. what's your go to hair style?

Messy hay nest or a bun.

48. who is your role model?

I don't think I have any... I mean, there are some people that I really admire but I don't know if I could define them as my role models.

50. what was the last text you sent?

"I'M HORNY FOR THAT NECK"....... I'm-....

52. what is your dream car?

Maybe a Mini or the new Fiat 500. Idk, something small 'cause I fucking fear big cars.

54. do you go to college?

Not anymore.

56. would you rather live in rural or the suburbs?

RURAL

58. do you have freckles?

I wish. God didn't gave me freckles 'cause otherwise I'd be too powerful.

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

+1300

62. do you still watch cartoons?

Sometimes, yes!

64. favourite dipping sauce?

BBQ, I think.

66. have you ever win a spelling bee?

WE DON'T HAVE THESE IN EUROPE

68. can you draw?

Yes, or at least I think I can lol.

70. what was the last concert you saw?

The love of my life, mister Hozier 😭 I miss him so much, it's been almost exactly 7 months as we speak.

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Bitch, my maroccan breadmaker from the other side of the river.

74. what is your crush's first and last initial?

I have only one crush. I mean, we all know on this godamn clusterfuck of a blog that I love only one man that doesn't know I exists :')

76. what color looks best on you?

I don't know... I love wearing black, though 🖤

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

When I'm home alone - open. When people are around - closed.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

Lazy and disrespectful men.

82. favourite ice cream flavour?

vanilla, pistachio, cherry

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

BITCH BOTH

86. what is your phone background?

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Y E S

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Both.

92. have you ever been drunk?

Yes, of course 💀

94. favourite lyrics right now

"You never loved me

I came all the way through time and space

To take you away and out of this place

You're an emerald in the sky

You light up the night by blinking you eyes

I'll cry and I'll cry if your light ever dies"

AND OF COURSE AND STILL:

"True that I saw her hair like the branch of a tree

A willow dancing on air before covering me

Under cotton and calicos over canopy dapple long ago

True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me that the sound if the

Saw must be known by the tree must be felled for to fight the cold

I fretted fire but that was long ago."

AND

the whole "In The Woods Somewhere" song

96. day or night?

NIGHT

98. favourite month?

October, December but also March/April when it's still kinda crisp but you can enjoy the first warm sunlight and the nature that comes back to life 🖤

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

Idk, I cry all the time when I'm alone.

#THAT WAS LONG #thank you so much 😭🖤#long post

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cherrysakuchan · 6 years ago

Text

Alphabet Soup Tag ✨

Answer the questions and tag 10 people.

I was tagged by @korimi4 💕💕💕

✨✨✨✨

A: age // 24

B: birthplace // Michigan

C: current time // 8:55pm

D: drink you last had // this pink orange juice stuff

E: easiest person to talk to // my best friend @teamwanggae

F: favorite song // at the moment Never Forever by Taemin

G: grossest memory // when I was little I threw up hotdogs in the bathtub 🤷🏻‍♀️ lmao

H: hogwarts house // gryffindor

I: in love // with life

J: jealous of people // I try not to be

K: killed someone // not that I know of

L: love at first sight or walk by again // I mean I guess it depends

M: middle name // Diane

N: number of siblings // one

O: one wish // no matter what happens I come out happy

P: person you called last // probably my mom

Q: question you are always asked // how do you do your eyebrows

R: reason to smile // honestly just living and enjoying what life has to offer and eating Nutella straight from the jar

S: song you sang last // Loser by Big Bang

T: time you woke up // 8:00 am

U: underwear color // black

V: vacation destination // I’m not picky but Ireland, New York, Korea

W: worst habit // eating snacks before bed

X: X-rays // a lot of them when I broke my foot

Y: your favorite food // Italian and buffalo chicken

Z: zodiac sign // Leo

I tag : @teamwanggae @im-a-loser-baebae @baekhyunbitz @captainmeow-and-chairmanknots @i-need-u-sweet-lullaby @lynnbyun @emobfchangkyun @unnie-uwu @hoe4hobixo

💕💕💕💕💕💕

#tag game

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cool-mad-world · 5 years ago

Link

Buy lime crush-one of the best E-juice in Ireland, get to know more about it, clicking on it

#best e-juice in ireland #Nicotine E-liquid #Nicshots E-liquid #Sandman 10mls #vape ireland #irish vape #Vape electronic cigarettes store #vape shop ireland

0 notes

180abroad · 6 years ago

Text

Days 165-167: More Munich (Food, Beer, & Art)

After two long and draining day trips out of Munich--and a short but even more daunting trip to Dachau on the horizon--we decided to sleep in and take things slow. Apart from the aforementioned Dachau trip, we'd be spending our last three days in Munich experiencing its sunnier side of food, beer, and art.

For the first day, we had booked a guided tour of the Viktualienmarkt, the city's world-famous outdoor food market that we'd visited on our introductory walking tour. We’ve seen plenty of old food markets in the towns and cities we’ve visited, but they tend to be a little intimidating to enter as a tourist--especially if you're like me and don't know much about cooking to begin with.

Now, we would get shown around the food market by a knowledgeable local and experience a curated tasting of some traditional Bavarian fare.

We met our guide at the New Town Hall in Marienplatz, and he turned out to be a friendly college student doing tours as a side gig. We learned that we were actually the only two people booked for the tour. We held out hope that someone might join us at the last minute, but nope--we'd be getting a private tour.

Some people might have loved that right off the bat, but we weren't those people. Remember how glad we were to have just missed the same fate on our trip to Connemara back in Ireland? We were a little nervous that it would be awkward with just the three of us, but our guide seemed a little awkward about it too, so we all just gave ourselves a break and rolled with it.

Our first stop was for a traditional Bavarian breakfast of white sausages (weisswurst). They're thick, pallid, rubbery, and frankly a little intimidating. But they're also absolutely delicious. The key is that you have to slice through the casings and peel them off the sausage before you eat them. This does nothing to improve the visual aspect, but such petty concerns evaporate with the first bite.

Weisswurst aren't smoked or seasoned, which gives them a delightfully fresh and delicate flavor. That's also why they're considered a breakfast food--before refrigeration was invented, they had to be eaten right after they were made.

Keeping with Bavarian tradition, we ate the sausages with sweet mustard, fresh pretzels, and a tall glass of weissbier. (I've never been a big fan of mustard, but this sweet mustard was a revelation.) It was a rich, heavy meal, and our guide told us that this is mainly eaten on special occasions--like Sunday brunch or an early get-together with friends.

Thankfully, the rest of our stops weren't nearly as filling.

Our next stop was for some fresh-squeezed juice. They had a fairly normal range of tropical fruit juices like mango, grapefruit, and peach, but they also had some more intimidating options like avocado juice.

Next, our guide took us into a stall run by a local biodynamic farm, where we chatted with the proprietor and sampled some of their wares. A lot of the biodynamic stuff is based on astrology and other weird mysticism, but there was some interesting things as well. They grow their crops from "ancient seeds," which are strains of fruits and vegetables that haven't been breed into bland homogeneity. Their produce came in all sorts of weird shapes and colors that would immediately qualify them for rejection at a typical supermarket. But I wouldn't be surprised if the proprietor was right in her assertion that they are more flavorful and possibly even more nutritious.

According to the proprietor, "stronger foods make stronger people."

The stall also sold a variety of preserves, sauces, and even ointments. To be honest, it felt a little like being back at an argan oil "pharmacy" in Morocco. But I was still suffering from bug bites I'd gotten in Prague, plus the wasp sting in Nuremberg the day before, so I bought an ointment advertised for bites and skin irritation. I don't know if it actually helped, but it smelled nice.

Next was a stand selling an intimidating variety of olives and pickles. Jessica and I both decided to try a "pepper pickle," which was surprisingly spicy but extraordinarily juicy and flavorful--genuinely one of our most memorable food experiences of the entire trip.

Our penultimate stop in the Viktualienmarkt was a dairy goods stall, where we sampled a cheese platter. The first three cheeses were local: one fresh cheese, one aged cheese, and one floral cheese with various herbs and flowers mixed in. The young cheese tasted a bit like gouda, the aged cheese tasted more like a chewy, crumbly cheddar, and the floral cheese had an earthy, nutty flavor.

The fourth cheese was a Dutch wasabi cheese, which I didn't hate quite as much as I'd expected to. The fattiness of the cheese cut most of the wasabi's spiciness, but I just don't like the flavor of wasabi.

The last sample was a Bavarian cheese spread called obatzda. Along with the weisswurst and pepper pickle, the obatzda was one of the stand-out discoveries of the tour. Everyone has their own signature recipe, but it generally involves mixing soft cheeses like camembert with paprika and other spices, plus a softener like butter, cream cheese, or even beer. Like many traditional foods (such as Lebkuchen), it was invented out of necessity for finding a way to turn scraps into something tasty and nutrient-dense.

As we left the Viktualienmarkt, we made our final stop for desert at a local bakery just across the street from the market. There, we got to try a local delicacy called a schmaltznudel--a big flat sugar doughnut with a thin layer of crunchy dough stretching across the middle. Predictably, it was delicious.

All throughout the tour, we couldn't help but noticed the swarms of bees everywhere. In the pastry shops, they were literally piling up in the display cases.

When we asked about them, we learned that bees and wasps are protected in Germany, and it's illegal to kill them. Thanks to the unusually wet spring and hot summer Europe had experienced this year, the bee population had exploded along with the flowers. And there was nothing anyone could do about them except ignore them and hope to not get stung. With the welt of yesterday's wasp sting still throbbing, I was not especially enthused to learn all this.

Since we were already nearby, we decided to stop for a drink at the Schneider Weisshaus. As we'd learned on our first-day walking tour, Schneider Weisse has over half a dozen different types of wheat beer on tap. Most Bavarian beerhouses only have three beers on tap at most: a pale lager, a dark lager, and a pale wheat beer. Schneider has pale wheat beers, dark wheat beers, filtered and unfiltered wheat beers, and even a 12% ABV wheat beer. We only had one each, but they were both very good.

Wheat beers were the first beers that Jessica realized she actually liked, but I had never been a fan. I could stand a few sips of Blue Moon with orange juice, but mostly they tasted gritty or dirty to me. But all the Bavarian weissbiers we tasted were really good. They can still get a little gritty as they warm up, but they're super smooth when chilled and have an amazing banana-like flavor. It's funny to imagine the first Bavarian to taste a banana and discover that it tasted like beer.

In reality, as we'd learn later, very few historical Bavarians actually got to enjoy weissbier. The traditional Bavarian beer purity laws (Reinheitsgebot) banned the production of beer from anything other than malted barley. Wheat beers could only be made by special permission of the government, and they were extremely exclusive. While researching Schneider back home, I learned that it was the Schneider family that pushed for broad legalization of wheat beer production in the 1800s. And were it not for a relentless, century-long push to popularize this amazing brew, Bavarian weissbiers may have gone extinct out of sheer obscurity.

It was threatening to rain, and we were still quite tired from our last few days, so after a little bit of souvenir shopping we headed home for a nap and an early evening.

I finally bought that Bavarian flag mug I'd been eyeing earlier, and we drank the fume blanc we bought in Schwangau.

Our next day started with a trip to the Dachau concentration camp. But like Auschwitz, I will save that for its own post.

After recuperating from that ordeal, we headed out for our much-needed evening entertainment–a tour of traditional Bavarian beer.

The tour started with a bottle right in the Radius Tours office at the train station–a 33cl bottle of Hacker-Pschorr helles pale lager.

As we drank, our guide asked the group if we could name all six Munich breweries. After nearly a week in the city, Jessica and I were able to immediately rattle off four: Hacker-Pschorr (that one was easy), Paulaner, Augustiner, and Hofbrau. The rest of the group was eventually able to get the last two: Spaten and Lowenbrau.

To be a Munich beer, it has to be produced, cellared, and bottled entirely within the city limits of Munich, and some aren’t available anywhere else. Augustiner–the one locals generally consider to be the best–doesn’t spend a dime one exporting advertising. And because they’re technically a church organization, they don’t have to pay tax and give almost half their income away to charitable causes within the city. So Muncheners can drink all they want with an easy conscience.

One member of our tour group seemed perplexed by the notion of the beers being made entirely in Munich. To our guide's mild but steadily increasing perplexity, the man kept asking, "but where is the beer actually made?" I guess it says something about globalization that our ideas of where a company is located and where its product gets made have become so totally separated.

Beers finished and bottles stowed away for recycling, it was time to set out. Our guide--a friendly if slightly haggard Brit--lead us down to the underground metro platform, where we caught a ride over to the other side of the Old Town. There, we'd be enjoying a visit to the Beer and Oktoberfest Museum.

Though nominally a museum, the place is also a first-rate beerhouse and restaurant. The mayor himself frequents the establishment, or so we heard, and regulars keep their personal steins in rented lockers near the bar.

In a tasting room, we got to try samples of the three main types of Bavarian beer: light helles lager, dark dunkel lager, and weissbier. We learned some of Bavaria's beer history, some of which we've already shared--such as the origin of beer gardens.

Our guide told us about the medieval Bavarian beer purity laws of Reinheitsgebot. Of course, we'd long been vaguely aware of them through our uncle Doug, a master brewer trained in strict Bavarian tradition. Jessica and I had never been especially interested in beer before the trip, but finally, after nearly 10 years of legal drinking, we had seen the light. Better late than never.

Under the Bavarian purity laws, only barley, hops, yeast, and water could be used to make beer. No fruit or other additives were allowed. The reason wheat beers could only be produced by special permission of the government was to reduce competition with bakers. Wheat and barley could both make good beer, but barley bread wasn't nearly as desirable as wheat bread.

Our guide also talked about beer's role in Bavarian culture, which can be neatly summarized in the popular catchphrase "Beer is food." Beer is full of energy for fueling farmhands and factory workers, and for most of its history beer was much safer to drink than water. Pretty much every successful civilization before the advent of effective water purification was fueled by some form of alcohol or tea.

When safe drinking water finally did become common, governments in Europe and America suddenly started treating beer like a luxury adult good. In other words, they could start taxing and regulating the heck out of it. But Bavaria proudly resists this tradition. If you want to drink a beer in Munich but don't know if it's allowed, simply ask yourself if you would feel comfortable eating a sandwich. Anywhere you can eat a sandwich, you can drink a beer.

Upstairs, we got to see pictures and artifacts covering the history of Oktoberfests past and present. Thanks to our first-day walking tour, we got to impress our guide with our guide with our knowledge of the celebration's origin as a wedding/anniversary celebration.

We also learned that the popular British and American image of Oktoberfest, at best, only a small part of the picture. I've always pictured it as a gaudy celebration of raucously inebriated tourists drinking gallons of beer served by oversexualized beer maidens, with real Bavarians staying as far away as possible. That may describe the Hofbrau tent, but there are still five other Munich breweries that each have their own tents as well. And those tents are filled almost entirely with locals.

In the rooms dedicated to beer in general, we learned more how Bavaria became such a mecca for beer. The purity laws were a big part of the equation, but another part was a combination of geography, technology, and politics.

When Europeans discovered the American continents, they brought back all sorts of treasures, from precious gold and silver to the even more precious potato. And--without even realizing it--they also brought back a new species of yeast. This new yeast could be used to make a cleaner, more quaffable beer than anyone in Europe had ever tasted before. But it only worked in cold, strictly controlled environments, and most of Europe lacked either the climate or the skills to take advantage.

For Bavaria, however, with its cool alpine climate and exceptionally well-regulated beer industry, it was practically a gift from God. For a good three hundred years or so until the invention of industrial refrigeration, lagers were the uncontested domain of Bavaria and its neighbor Bohemia.

In fact, at least according to the museum and our guide, it was France's envy of German beer that spurred their chemists to finally invent refrigeration. At the very least, French breweries were among the first and most enthusiastic adopters of the technology. By the 20th century, Bavarian-style pale lagers--or at least mediocre approximations thereof--were being mass-produced around the world.

The night culminated with a dinner at the Hofbrau Keller on the eastern end of the city. Unlike the infamously rowdy Hofbrauhaus, the Keller is a more relaxed, family friendly establishment. In general, we learned, a beer "house" is big and boisterous while a beer "cellar" is smaller and (relatively) peaceful, with a beer garden outside.

Our guide had prepared us for placing our beer orders. We could have either a half-liter or the full mass--a one-liter pitcher of beer that constitutes a Bavarian's idea of a single serving. Not wanting to miss out on the full cultural experience, Jessica and I both opted for the mass. Our guide seemed impressed--only one other person in the entire group did the same.

One liter of beer is no joke. After thirty minutes, we had barely dented them. But somehow, it seems to get easier the deeper into our glasses we got.

For dinner, we enjoyed a mountainous "vesper" board loaded with local meats, breads, and cheeses. And accompanying the board was a steaming pot of weisswurst. Internally beaming at our good fortune to have been shown the ways of weisswurst on our Viktualienmarkt tour, Jessica and I got to be the experts of our table, enthusiastically digging in while the others were still perplexed by its variously off-putting physical attributes.

Despite our guide's perfectly sufficient explanation about how to skin a weisswurst--as well as the exemplary performance of Jessica and myself--one of our tablemates didn't deem to have gotten the memo. The woman, who may have been the wife of the man so confused by the concept of urban breweries, began to fork-scrape the fillings of her sausage into a shredded horror on her plate. Visibly dismayed at the atrocity, our guide quickly stopped her, showed her again how to correctly peel her weisswurst, and didn't leave until she vowed never to do it the other way ever again.

Catching a tram back towards Marienplatz, our tour concluded outside the doors of the Hofbrauhaus. We could hear the sounds of oompah music and three-thousand drinking tourists. We peeked inside just long enough to take a couple pictures and make badly needed use of the facilities. It wasn't something we'd normally do--using the facilities uninvited without being a customer--but with the amount of business the place was doing, I don’t think it was much of an imposition.

After stumbling our way back home in the blissfully cool night air, we of course capped the night off with a taste of Jessica's Little Bay.

On our last full day in Munich, we found ourselves with plenty of things we could do and little energy to do any of it. There was the Residenz, the Nymphenburg Palace, a Nazi Documentation Center, and a host of museums--including the BMW world headquarters. And that's ignoring all of the other things there are to see in the surrounding Bavarian countryside. I could happily spend another week or two back in Nuremberg alone.

We already knew that we both wanted to visit the city again someday, so we decided to take it easy and do just one more thing--the Alte Pinakothek, the city's main art gallery of old European masters.

It was a nice day, so we decided to walk over to the museum quarter after catching a tram to the station. Along the way, we passed through the Karolinenplatz, which is really more of a roundabout than a square. It is dominated by a stark black obelisk. With our translation apps and a bit of Googling, we learned that it was erected in honor of the thirty thousand Bavarian soldiers that died in Napoleon's disastrous invasion of Russia in 1812. Apparently, the metal used to build the obelisk came from melted-down Turkish weapons captured during Greece's war of independence from the Ottoman Empire.

Past the square, I led us on a short detour to see the Königsplatz, a square surrounded by classical monuments and museums. Outside the museum of ancient sculpture, we were pleasantly enthused yet somehow not surprised to find our old friend Laocoön, this time sporting some serious ink.

Finally, we made it to the Alte Pinakothek. It may not be a match for the Prado or the Louvre, but it is still a fantastic collection--especially for anyone into Renaissance and Baroque art.

One of the museum's signature pieces is a 16th-century painting by Albrecht Altdorfer of a battle between the armies of Alexander the Great and Darius III of Persia in 333 BC. We'd probably seen hundreds of battle paintings by this point, but this one was utterly unlike any other. Epic in scope and perspective, it zooms from individual soldiers in the foreground to a curved Earthscape of the entire eastern Mediterranean Sea in the background. Overhead, the sun and moon seem locked in a showdown between light and darkness amidst a rippling, cloud-filled sky.

It actually had a lot more in common with paintings we'd seen of the apocalypse than of other historical battles. And that was very much intentional. Tensions between the West and the Middle East were perilously high, and many believed that the end times were close at hand. Some things never really change.

We also saw some works by Albrecht Dürer, including the famous self-portrait where he depicted himself as a Christ figure. But Jessica and I were more interested in a somewhat subtler but no less provocative pair of paintings.

In this two-panel painting of The Four Apostles, Dürer shows John, Peter, Mark, and Paul huddled together in an open circle. The painting is immediately unusual for its unidealized depiction of the four men as ordinary figures--aged, wrinkled, and not especially attractive. But more than that, and true to Dürer's Franconian roots, the painting is actually a powerful piece of Protestant propaganda.

John holds the Bible open as Peter--the saint so deeply associated with admission into heaven--reads it closely. Meanwhile, Mark and Paul--his sword at the ready--look challengingly outward. The anti-Catholic sentiment is clear: read the Bible for yourself if you want salvation, and stand guarded against anyone who would try to stop you.

There were plenty of Italian Renaissance paintings as well, including masterpieces by Da Vinci, Raphael, and Lippi.

Another highlight of the visit was a massive room filled with epic works by Rubens. Or rather, works by Rubens' students. Rubens was a master of churning out high-priced commissions, and many of these paintings were done almost entirely by his students based on quick sketches by Rubens himself. Delightfully, the museum actually had one of these sketches on display in view of the final product.

We also saw some more landscapes by Claude Lorrain, a recurring favorite of our museum trips. On our own, we each noticed his paintings from across the room and recognized them instantly by his style. They were hung amidst a collection of other similarly styled paintings, and their placards confirmed that each of these artists were deeply influenced by Claude's techniques.

This is just a sampling of everything we saw. We had just about exhausted our museum chops at this point, but I made sure to go back to another room that had previously been too crowded to enter. On loan from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam was Vermeer's Woman in Blue Reading a Letter.

When we visited the Rijksmuseum less than three weeks later, the painting was still on loan, and a simple "Sorry" placard was hung in its place. But we had nothing to feel sorry about, since we'd seen it already.

And that's about all there is to say about our stay in Munich. Apart from our visit to Dachau, of course, which will be coming later. It was one of our favorite cities of the entire trip--right up there with Florence and Edinburgh. The culture, architecture, food, drink, and access to nature are all top-notch, and I can't wait to go back someday.

#180abroad #munich #germany #food #beer #art #museums #travel #hofbrau #weisswurst #schneider weisse

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dsudis · 6 years ago

Note

Dira do you think that in light of the one year anniversary, we could get a little snnipet of the next All the Burning Hearts in Hell installment? You know.... to carry us over the long drought :))

Sure! I’d been thinking I should do this anyway, and I’m 30k into writing the next story, so… A chapter is a snippet, right?

Slavefic #6 picks up exactly where The Sacrifice Play left off, so you may want to reread at least Chapter 9 of The Sacrifice Play if it’s been, say, a year since you read it.

When Steve had been lying still and quiet for a little while, he found his ears attuned to Bucky’s breathing. He winced when he recognized the sound of it: carefully even and shallow, without the slightest accompanying sound of movement. That was Bucky in pain, or lying awake in the night trying not to give himself away.

Steve had always figured, when he lay in camp listening to Bucky breathing like that, that he was remembering the factory at Kreischberg–his imprisonment, and that table Steve had found him on. Now that Steve knew what Bucky had survived, he couldn’t help wondering if it was more than that keeping Bucky awake at night–had he felt himself changing in slow motion the way Steve had changed inside Howard’s Vita-Ray chamber? Had he known what Zola did to him, or had he been left to wonder?

Would he ever remember enough of those nights to tell Steve what his nightmares had been, or had other nightmares long since blotted them out?

After an agonizing three-quarters of an hour, the sound of Bucky’s breathing changed to something even more familiar. The softness of sleep, real sleep, which Steve had heard in his ear and felt against the back of his neck more times than he could count. He fell into something like a doze himself, lulled by the sweetness of it and the sudden release of tension.

When Steve had been lying stilland quiet for a little while, he found his ears attuned to Bucky’s breathing.He winced when he recognized the sound of it: carefully even and shallow,without the slightest accompanying sound of movement. That was Bucky in pain,or lying awake in the night trying not to give himself away.

Steve had always figured, when helay in camp listening to Bucky breathing like that, that he was remembering thefactory at Kreischberg–his imprisonment, and that table Steve had found himon. Now that Steve knew what Bucky had survived, he couldn’t help wondering ifit was more than that keeping Bucky awake at night–had he felt himselfchanging in slow motion the way Steve had changed inside Howard’s Vita-Raychamber? Had he known what Zola did to him, or had he been left to wonder?

Would he ever remember enough ofthose nights to tell Steve what his nightmares had been, or had othernightmares long since blotted them out?

After an agonizing three-quartersof an hour, the sound of Bucky’s breathing changed to something even morefamiliar. The softness of sleep, real sleep, which Steve had heard in his earand felt against the back of his neck more times than he could count. He fellinto something like a doze himself, lulled by the sweetness of it and thesudden release of tension.

When a distant sound woke him,there was a second when he didn’t know where he was, only that Bucky was near.Was it their day off, precious hours wasted drowsing in the park? Were theynapping in camp ahead of a night raid?

He opened his eyes and saw thepotted plant and the skylight, and recognized the soft pad of approachingfootsteps. Stark–Stark the younger. Tony.

Steve got silently to his feetand strode out of the bedslaves’ quarters, shutting the door noiselessly behindhim. He reached the doorway of Stark’s bedroom when Stark was only a couple ofsteps away.

Stark stopped short. He wascarrying a tray of food in assorted bite-sized pieces, including a little bowlof some kind of rainbow-colored bon bons, and for the barest instant he lookedsurprised to see Steve there. Steve held up a hand and stepped out into thehall, pulling the door shut after him.

“He just fell asleep, maybeten minutes ago,” Steve said softly. “The worst of the headachemust’ve passed, but I don’t think he’ll be ready to eat until he wakes up onhis own."

Stark looked past Steve, as ifThreetoo might materialize behind him, and said, "The worst ofwhat headache.”

“Oh,” Steve said.Right, he’d only recognized it himself from seeing how dark Bucky had made hissleeping area, and the plant, and what he’d heard. “Yeah, he… he made itpitch black where his bed is, and I could hear him being real careful drinkingthat juice, like he felt sick, so I figured… sick headache. I had a bunch of‘em when I was a kid, for weeks after I got my bell rung real hard in a fight.He hit his head yesterday, didn’t he?”

Steve felt a little sick himselfas his memory answered his own question with the sick sound of Bucky’s headhitting the floor of Stark’s lab.

“Sick headache,” Starkrepeated, shoving the tray in Steve’s direction as he rubbed his eyes with hisfree hand. “Migraine. But it didn’t start yesterday, did it? JARVIS, howdid we miss this? The other day, he asked for dark–”

“He felt sick first,sir,” JARVIS pointed out. “The headache appeared to follow after. Hehas made his sleeping area artificially dark twice before, but there was noreason to conclude that he was experiencing migraine symptoms."

"But now there is, so is he?Was he?” Stark demanded. “Did we–” Stark focused sharply onSteve again. “You’re sure he’s sleeping? He’s not lying there in pain?”

“I mean, I can’t guaranteehe hasn’t woken up in the last two minutes,” Steve said, gesturing to theclosed door. “But I know he fell asleep maybe ten minutes ago. Hisbreathing changed. Relaxed."

Stark stared at him for a coupleof seconds, utterly still, and then shook his head and turned away, muttering,"Right. You know the sound of his breathing. Of course. Okay. JARVIS, checkwith Cho about migraine options and what we can do without her physicallyexamining him. And tell me the second he pushes the curtain back.”

“Of course, sir,”JARVIS assured him.

Stark didn’t seem at allreassured. He took a couple of abortive steps, one direction and then theother, obviously worried about Threetoo and not knowing what to do with himselfwhen he couldn’t help.

Steve was familiar with thefeeling. He raised the tray of food into Stark’s eye line and said, “I’mguessing this was your lunch as well as his?"

Tony stopped, narrowing his eyes,and said, "I know for a fact that he did not have a chance to tell youit’s your job to make sure I eat. And it’s not your job. Or his.”

“Okay,” Steve saidagreeably. “But there’s this food that’s gonna go to waste, since–"

Steve stopped short, experiencinga weird retrospective recognition as the words I know you’re notgoing to feed this to him if it’s not fresh occurred to him. Theblueberries DUM-E had brought to him, a carton discarded half-full. All theones left had been crushed or oddly shaped or otherwise imperfect. And Steveknew that Bucky liked blueberries. He was willing to bet that Tony knew it,too, and only gave him the best.

Stark ran a hand through his hairand then nodded, gesturing toward the stairs to the lower level. "Yeah,okay. I want the actual story on you and him–and, hey, medical history. Youknow his?"

"Uh,” Steve said.“Well, up to 1945, I guess. Roughly.”

Stark raised his eyebrows, butdidn’t ask any more questions until they were down in the kitchen, the tray onthe island between them. Tony waved Steve toward a stool, so he perched therewhile Tony paced around, fetching drinks and napkins and setting the dish ofbrightly-colored bon bons pointedly to one side before he picked up a crackerfrom the tray and popped it into his mouth, waving at Steve to follow suit.

“So,” Tony said.“From the beginning.”

“Well,” Steve said,building a tiny cracker-and-chicken-and-cheese sandwich from the tray. “Myfolks were enslaved in exchange for passage from Ireland in 1916…"

He expected Tony to get impatientand tell him to talk about Bucky, or the war, but Tony just nodded, watchinghim intently and continuing to eat, so Steve kept talking between bites,explaining that his mother had been pregnant with him when his father waskilled in the Great War and was emancipated as his death benefit. He told himhow Bucky’s family had been better off, how he and Bucky had lived only a fewblocks apart but in subtly different worlds, since the Barneses’ flat had beenquite a different place from the tenement apartment Steve shared with his ma.

"I always knew where I washeaded,” Steve said. “Ma didn’t like it, didn’t want that for me,but… times were hard, and me being sick a lot didn’t make it any easier. Butwhen Bucky was sixteen, he suddenly just started talking about doing the same,and that–he didn’t have to do that. But I… I was already crazy about him,and he made it sound like an adventure, like we’d…"

Steve shook his head. "So Ididn’t argue. And I didn’t realize until after we’d done it that he… he wascoming with me because he felt the same way I did. Then it was too late for usto–"

Steve glanced at Stark, who wasfrowning into midair and rubbing a piece of cheese into fragments between histhumb and finger, and did not explain about the cock-lock.

"Well. We saw each other asmuch as we could, but service didn’t leave us much free time. And then thewar… Buck got put down for the slave draft right away, although they didn’ttake him for training until the middle of '42. Me, I kept trying to get myselfon the list, but no dice. I was 4F, unfit.”

That got Stark to look at him,his gaze raking meaningfully up and down as he chewed another cracker. Stevedid not blush.

“Before Dr. Erskine andHoward got involved, I was five foot four, maybe a hundred pounds dripping wet.Asthma, family history of diabetes, TB exposure, touch of heart arrhythmia eversince I had scarlet fever as a kid. But they had this experimental program, andDr. Erskine decided that I was the perfect test subject, so…” Steve madea little ta-da! gesture at himself.

“So that’s how you got intothe war,” Stark said. “But Barnes was already in the 107th by then,straight infantry. Already deployed?”

Steve nodded. “I, uh…Erskine was killed by a Nazi agent–HYDRA, their deep science division–and noone could replicate what he’d done. They sent me to a lab for a while to studyme, what the serum actually changed and all, see if they could find a way to reverse engineer it. No luck, and Iwas stuck there until Howard pulled me out and started bringing me around tolook good in uniform for whoever he was doing deals with. He brought me alongto Europe, into Italy when he went to meet up with the SSR brass there, andthat’s how I found out most of the 107th had been captured by HYDRA’s own shocktroops. The ones taken were mostly slaves. No one was planning on rescuingthem, and Bucky was… unaccounted for. So I, uh… I convinced Howard to dropme into Austria to go find them."

Stark stared at him. "Dropyou…”

“From a plane,” Stevesupplied, although he had a feeling that that wasn’t really what Stark washaving difficulties with. “I mean, with a parachute, and some prototypegear. That was part of why he brought me along, to model and test some stuff hewas developing for the Army."

Including the ridiculouscombination thermal underwear and partial body armor which Howard had insistedon getting up in a gaudy American flag design, but Steve wasn’t going todescribe that to Stark if he could possibly avoid it.

Well. There was the silver liningto Bucky’s amnesia, because God knew otherwise he would probably remember everyinch of that outfit in loving detail and would feel no compunction indescribing it. He’d had a funny fascination with it, even after Howardredesigned it into something Steve didn’t have to cover with fatigue pants anda leather jacket to be halfway decent in public. He’d bitched from time to timeabout the hazards of Steve’s anti-camouflage, but he never actually lobbied forSteve to change to something more practical.

Stark had his head in his hands,and Steve dragged himself back to the point. "That’s where–I think thathas to be when he–he got… changed. So he survived what happenedafterward.”

Stark’s head jerked up at that.“He wasn’t…"

Steve shook his head. "Asfar as I know, the US never tried again after me. Howard sure hadn’t draggedalong his Vita-Ray machine to Europe. But Bucky had been taken away from theother prisoners–they said the ones who got taken away never came back, but Ifound him. Strapped down on a table. I think… Zola. Arnim Zola, one of thetop HYDRA scientists, he’d–I think he’d done something to him.”

Steve had known the least part ofit: that Bucky was cock-locked, after that. He hadn’t pressed to know what Zolahad done beyond that, and it was obvious now that that had been by far theleast of it.

“Even at the time, I had anidea there was something, but I never… we didn’t talk about it, and he saidhe wanted to stay in, wanted to come with me and keep fighting HYDRA. The SSRput us on that directly, a strike force that just went after HYDRA bases anddestroyed them however we could. Behind enemy lines like that, it was better tosend slaves–at least if we got captured by regular army, we had someprotections under the Geneva Convention, more than free soldiers. ObviouslyHYDRA didn’t care about that, but still better us than anybody else. We weretrying to capture Zola himself when Buck–when he fell. But he survived, whichmeans…”

Stark looked away. “Yousaid… as a sniper, you said…"

"Yeah,” Steve said,swallowing hard. “Yeah, I think… I never fought beside him before Zolagot him, and I didn’t really know what a normal sharpshooter was like. But Ithink he… he was really something special. So maybe that was… a sign, and Ijust didn’t get it.”

There was a little silence. Steveforced himself to eat another few tidbits off the tray, thinking of rations andBucky’s lean and hungry look during the war, smoking all of Steve’s cigaretterations as well as his own. Had he been starving then, the way Steve would onnormal rations? Had Steve been letting Bucky go hungry while he wolfed downtriple rations in front of him?

“Bone density,” Starksaid. “What about–bone density? Dr. Cho noticed something about his bonedensity that made her realize he needed the same stuff as you to beanesthetized. What was that about?”

Steve frowned, thinking about theway Bucky had held his rifle. Recoil couldn’t have done what the shield did,could it? But then… she’d been working on what was left of his left arm.Whatever impacts that had been taking must have been after.

“My hands,” Steve said,showing Stark his palms, as if it would be visible. “I, uh… I hadthis… shield. And I used to throw it, catch it on a ricochet–” Stevestruck the palm of his left hand with the side of his right, demonstrating.“It hurt like hell at first. I got better at the angles, but… apparentlymy bone density is a lot higher right there, too. My body adapted."

Stark nodded, snagged a couple ofcubes of cheese and slapped them into his mouth. "Okay. And the anestheticthing? Tell me whatever you know about that, in case we need to tinker aroundgetting him a headache remedy.”

“Well, my metabolism isapparently four times faster than normal?” Steve offered. “I, uh… Ihad to have minor surgery once, at Alamogordo. Howard figured out how to keep meunder–of course, that was ether gas, I don’t think they use thatanymore?"

Stark thankfully didn’t ask himwhat the surgery had been, just started questioning him about the ether.

Threetoo woke up feeling groggyand halfway between sick and starving. Everything was dark and warm and…soft, and for a moment he thought that he could just snuggle in and go back tosleep, and then the memory slammed into him like–

Like a fire extinguisher,knocking him flat.

Steve. Hismaster had brought Steve to the penthouse, to be his second bedslave, forThreetoo to train. Instead of doing anything useful, Threetoo had been seizedwith the punishment pain, worse than it had ever been, so bad he could hardlystay upright. He had begged off immediately, and left his master to show Stevearound, to get him settled.

Threetoo’s mind’s eye suppliedvisions of Steve kneeling by his master’s feet, his master gently explainingthat he was safe here while feeding Steve his lunch, running his fingersthrough the dark gold of Steve’s hair and running his hands over Steve’sperfectly smooth skin. For a weak, cowardly moment Threetoo considered hidinguntil he provoked his master into coming to find him, but he rejected thatthought as soon as it formed.

This was Threetoo’s project, as much as his master’s. And if his master was pleased to have Steve,pleased to touch and talk to him and teach him, then that was all to the good,because his master would be happy, and Steve would be safe and good.

Threetoo tugged his curtain back,letting in what turned out to be less light than he expected. That wasn’t bad,and even if it was, he was going to go and find them and help teach Stevewhatever he needed to learn, no matter how badly it hurt.

Before he could even climb out ofthe pillow box, JARVIS said, "Please stay where you are, 32557038. Mr.Stark is on his way to speak to you.”

Threetoo winced, curling down,and the throb in his head that had only just died away started up again.

“Hey,” his master said,only seconds later. “Hey, sweetheart. On a scale of zero to ten, with zerobeing "doesn’t hurt at all” and ten being “I cannot move or signbecause I am in so much pain and I need urgent medical care or I mightdie,” how’s your head right now?“

Threetoo raised his head to lookat his master, mentally assigning ten to the otherwiseindescribable experience of the day before. He raised two fingers.

"Mm, two means you onlynotice it when you focus on it. Is that right?”

Threetoo raised a third finger.

“Okay,” his mastersaid, smiling a little stiffly and settling a warm hand on the back of hisneck. “Thank you for telling me that, Threetoo. Good data. I’ll get you acopy of the scale so you can assign numbers consistently going forward. Before,when you came in here to lie down, what number was that?”

Threetoo winced. His mastersqueezed gently on his neck, rubbing firmly with his thumb and finger.“Let’s say nine is 'can barely move or think because of pain’ and eight is'pain is so severe it’s hard to think, talk, or listen, and very hard to moveor do anything else.’ Do I need to describe seven?"

Threetoo shook his head the tinybit that his master’s grip allowed and signed, eight.

"Eight is a lot,” hismaster said quietly. “Eight is way more than I ever want you to feelwithout telling me about it, because eight means we should be doing everythingwe can to make it better as soon as possible. I mean, I’d like to be doingsomething about three right now, but Dr. Cho says all she can do reliably atthis point is make you unconscious, so it’s probably overkill for athree."

Threetoo stared at him. Hismaster hadn’t actually asked him a question, so he technically didn’t have toreply. That was a good thing, because he had no idea what to say.

"Have you been havingheadaches that get really intense, that make it painful to see light? Make youfeel sick? Maybe cause other weird effects? Make you feel too cold or hot, orsee lights in your peripheral vision, or…"

Threetoo nodded slowly.

"Okay,” his mastersaid. “I wish you would have told me about that, but to be fair I didn’tthink to ask. Those headaches are called migraines, sweetheart. They happensometimes if you’ve had a head injury, which I think you probably had evenbefore yesterday. They also happen sometimes just for no reason. Lots of peopleget them, and I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to make sure that they don’thappen at all, but we can at least get you some pain relief when they do happen,even if it’s only making sure that we help you go to sleep right away when itgets bad. Being in pain isn’t good for you, it’s just like beingpunished–"

Threetoo’s lips parted, his handtwitched, and then he looked sharply away.

His master’s hand tightened, thenwent back to the slow, rhythmic rubbing.

"Threetoo,” his mastersaid quietly. “Look at me, please.”

Threetoo dragged his gaze up tohis master’s, trying not to tremble, trying not to even breathe. His masterlooked tired again, the way he had yesterday, and nearly as unhappy.

“Threetoo, sweetheart,project number one,” he said softly. “Did you think you were beingpunished?”

Threetoo closed his eyes andnodded.

What else could it mean? Itwasn’t an injury–he hadn’t known about migraines untilhis master told him–so it had to be a punishment, didn’t it? Masters could dothings from far away, through chips and… and other things.

“Threetoo,” his mastersaid, his voice very quiet and small now. “Did you think I was punishingyou by making your head hurt like that? And not telling you why, or what youdid wrong, and talking all the time about not wanting to ever punish you, andpunishing you anyway?"

Threetoo squeezed his eyes shuttighter, feeling them sting with tears, and shook his head hard. He raised hishand to sign no, and then–because he knew his masterneeded good data–I thought maybe. At first. But you said. So I knewit wasn’t you. Because you wouldn’t.

"Okay,” his master saidquietly, and there was a press of lips against his forehead that didn’t stopthe throbbing in his head from rising into what was probably a four.“Okay, I… I’m glad. But… who did you think was punishing you? Or wasit just… cosmic punishment, floating around randomly?"

Threetoo swallowed. He hadn’t thoughtabout it, really, but… he hadthought–believed–known–that the pain was punishment,even while he knew his master wouldn’t inflict pain on him. And no one else wasauthorized by his master to do so; no former master held that power over himany longer.

And that only left one personresponsible. One person who had access to him and definitely had no right tointerfere with his master’s goals by inflicting pain on his master’snumber one project.

Me, Threetoosigned, before falling back to the safety of referring to himself bydesignation instead. 3-2. 3-2 punished. 3-2 knew 3-2deserved.

"Oh–” his mastermoved, and then his arms were around Threetoo, drawing him up out of thepillows and into his master’s lap, cuddling him close against his master’schest. “Okay, so. On the one hand–I really really don’t want you to dothat, Threetoo. Even if you know you’ve done something wrong, even if it seemsreally bad, I… I don’t want you to hurt yourself, not in any way, ever. Okay?Because I want you to heal and get better and be safe. Right?"

Threetoo hid his face against hismaster’s chest, nodding. He did know that. He did, and his stomach was a stone,his whole spine and skull ablaze with tension and pain because he knew he haddone what his master didn’t want.

"And on the other hand, andthis is the really important hand right now–” His master’s actual handstroked down his spine and back up to the nape of his neck, then down again.

“I need you to remember thatit was never punishment, Threetoo. It was never anyone’s fault, includingyours. Especially yours. Even if you thought you were punishing yourself–itwasn’t punishment, and it wasn’t your fault. It was just a fact about your bodythat we didn’t understand yet. But it’s not your fault.”

Threetoo didn’t want tocontradict his master, but…

He raised his hand, enough sothat JARVIS could see it if not his master, and signed, Occurrencenot random. Correlated to infractions.

“Mm,” his master said,still petting up and down his spine. “Well, hey, guess what, correlationdoes not equal causation. That’s science, baby. I’m not gonna ask you to layout for me what infractions you think you’ve been committing, but whatever theywere, I bet your migraines also correlate with you being stressed because youthought you did something wrong. Stress, worry, that cando a lot of things to your body. Raises your blood pressure. Brings onmigraines, sometimes, if that’s what your body’s predisposed to."

Threetoo leaned against hismaster, and breathed, and felt the pain and tension subsiding under hismaster’s touch. That had happened before–his master had touched him gently,reassured him, and if the pain–the migraine–was only justbeginning when he did it, then it might stop. Because he stopped being worriedwhen his master touched him. Because it was early enough in whateverphysiological process made up a migraine to short-circuit it. Sometimes hismaster’s touch didn’t help: when the pain was already very bad. When theprocess was too far along.

Not a punishment. Just a fact.Just his body.

Threetoo signed, Oh.

His master laughed a little."Yeah. Oh. Hey, what’s your plant doing over there? You want it back onthe shelf before you have your lunch?"

Threetoo nodded against hismaster’s shoulder, and his master stayed still for a moment before gentlypushing Threetoo to sit up on his own. His master got the plant and brought itto Threetoo, and Threetoo waded through the pillows and set it back up on theshelf. When he came back to the edge, his master was holding a lunch tray withsomething new on it–little irregular balls, something dark studded withrainbow-colored bits like candy.

"Yeah, I see you eyeing thesweets,” his master said, sounding amused. “One of the cooks madethose up for you special to help you get blueberries and maximum calories atthe same time. And in honor of you having such a rough day yesterday. You wantto try one? It’s got blueberries in it, but it’s not an actual blueberry."

Threetoo nodded, curious andfascinated. A treat–from his master, but also from someone other than hismaster. Someone he’d never met, who was supporting his master’s project, andcared that he’d had a rough day.

It was sweet, and the rainbowsprinkles were a little crunchy, but it was chewy and tart, too, a burst ofintense flavor. Threetoo showed his master his upraised thumb.

"Good, well, the rest ofthem are for after you eat some protein,” his master said firmly, andThreetoo nodded obediently and settled to the work of being fed.

Rogers wasn’t just outside thebedslave’s room, where Tony had barely managed to scrape him off after hefollowed Tony upstairs. He’d told himself, in the fraction of a second he hadto think about it before he was wholly focused on Threetoo, that it was good toknow he would have a chaperone for this.

Clearly that hadn’t lasted long;he reran the conversation in his head, trying to work out what Rogers wouldhave heard, as he walked out of his bedroom and looked around. He was nowhereobvious.

“J?”

“You may want to check theguest room."

Tony rubbed his eyes, feelingstupidly exhausted for a moment. Whatever was going on with Rogers, he didn’twant to deal with it–but Tony had taken responsibility for him, and Rogers wasa mistreated slave too. He deserved to be looked after, and Tony had separatedhim from everyone else who could do the job. It was necessary, in order tomaintain the illusion that Tony was inflicting some suitable correction uponhis would-be murderer, but it meant that Tony was the only person left to dothis.

So. He would do this, obviously.

He tapped at the door of theguest room, and opened it a few inches when there was no answer.

It was nearly as dark inside asThreetoo’s bed, but he heard a soft rustling of clothing: Rogers getting to hisfeet. "Mr. Stark? Did you need me for something?"

"Uh, not really,” Tonysaid, but he pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped into the dimroom. Rogers was standing in one of the near corners, where he might not beimmediately seen from the doorway. “Were you… hiding?”

Rogers shrugged stiffly, lookingaway. “Seems like I shouldn’t let him see me, don’t you think?"

"No, it’s good–”Rogers flinched, turning half away with his head down and shoulders up, andTony stopped short.

Clearly Rogers had heard at leastpart of his conversation with Threetoo, and if he heard any of it at all, he’dhave heard the part where Threetoo was at an eight on the pain scale earlier.When Tony thought he was having some kind of programming-tension-freakout whichwas, in reality, an excruciating migraine. Probably still caused by the stressof pushing at his programming, and therefore by the sight of Rogers.

“Okay, maybe we should becareful how much he sees you until he gets used to you, but that doesn’t meanyou have to hide in a dark room. He’s napping again, for one thing, and JARVIScan help you avoid him if you really need to. God knows there’s enough space inthe penthouse for the two of you not to see each other.”

Rogers shrugged stiffly. “Isthere somewhere else I should be, Mr. Stark?"

Tony pressed the heel of his handto his brow, trying to push back his own incipient headache. "Jesus, youlive in my bedroom and I have to use your first name at least to Threetoo. Callme Tony, all right?”

“Tony,” Rogers echoed,mechanically, dutifully. “Thank you."

Tony shook his head, turningaway. "Okay, right, stand around in the dark if you–” He’d made itjust to the threshold when Rogers spoke behind him, his voice expressive nownearly to the point of desperation.

“Tony, I’m sorry.”

Tony froze.

“I–I don’t think I saidthat, before,” Rogers went on. “But I tried to killyou and I’m so sorry. I would have–it was wrong. I know I was wrongabout you. I knew that already, but listening to you talking to him–you’re sogood with him. Not just kind; you know how to help him. I couldn’t do this forhim like you do, I…”

The rush of hideous sinceritytrailed off, and a second later Tony managed to snap out of his horrifiedparalysis.

“Well, hey, not everyone canbe a billionaire playboy genius with a heart of gold,” Tony said in hismost careless style. “Don’t beat yourself up just because you’re not asgood as me, no one is. JARVIS, lights.”

The lights came up, and Tonywalked out without looking back to see the results of his words, or the refugehe’d deprived Rogers of. He was too desperate to get back to his lab and findsomething, anything, to scour away the sound of Rogers being every bit aswrongly grateful to him as Threetoo was–and without the excuse of whatevercombination of brainwashing and brain damage had madeThreetoo who he was.

It had been barely more than aday, and he’d already managed to break Rogers from a berserker bent on freedomor death to… this. Apologizing to the man who made the StarkChip.

This was why he didn’t meet theslaves he was involved in rescuing. This was why he definitely didn’t move them into the penthouse. And this was why he neededto get Threetoo more attached to Steve than to his master as fast as humanlypossible–so he could get both of them the hell away from him. So he could stopcorroding them just by being who and what he was anywhere near them.

“J, see if you can get athousand liquid calories into Threetoo in the next four hours? Things to do.Places to be."

Anywhere but here.

1. The pain scale Tony is teaching Threetoo is this one. I figured Threetoo would have an easier time processing something that focused on how pain affected his functioning than a subjective measurement of his own suffering.

2. The blueberry bonbons are 100% the ones @rubynye sent me last summer around the time I was writing this chapter, so if you are jealous of Threetoo’s dessert, ask her for the recipe!

#fic #Anonymous #wip #mcu #all these burning hearts in hell #slavefic #threetoo

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