#best direction to sleep

[requiemforthestars]

I was rotating Sera/Dagna around in my head like a kebab because what do they even talk about? One hates magic and the other is probably the biggest possible nerd about magic ever. How did that start? But then, oh, un-elfy elf x un-dwarfy dwarf, family rejection issues, lesbians whose communities would expect them to have arranged marriages (Dagna mentions this in Orzammar in DAO if you talk to her father, Sera would know the Alienage has this tradition and maybe she saw it around Emmald who was wealthy), some neurodivergence, talented in their own ways but they look "crazy" to everyone else, some trauma at having to stake it out on their own with basically no support. Okay. OKAY. I get it now.

[yuudamari]

call me a hater of the state of modern anime or whatever but i think hikaru ga shinda natsu does not need an anime and now that its going to get one i am betting on it sucking cos i trust no current anime director to know how to adapt it properly and adaptations nowadays are 1 on 1 to the manga instead of trying to understand the appeal and the meaning and what the page or the panel is trying to convey and translating that in a new media because paper and tv are not the same media at all and need different shots. May just be me tho.

[vellichorom]

[aroacee-of-spades]

^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale

[freakinator]

If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth

yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not

i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit

....but then die for you happened lol

ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)

i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Aventurine.

[foundationsofdecay]

Thinking again about this post that @a-s-levynn made a while back, as well as @moonchild-in-blue's and @tonguetyd's comments there, about Vessel and the mask's own identity and the idea of the person Vessel used to be before meeting Sleep, this nebulous Him that we hear in intermissions during rituals, was "cocooned" inside a body that was no longer his and is experiencing this all as a spectator, and that Vessel kills the current version of himself that he's become, a spiritual suicide of sorts. How that was done so that He, without the influence of the mask and by extension Sleep, can move forward and start anew even after being irrevocably changed by what He's seen, and Vessel finally obtaining that "redemption, eternal ascension, setting [him] free" that was described in "Ascensionism".

I'm especially thinking about the funeral pyres reflected in Sleep's eyes. This could imply the fates of past vessels of Sleep, or it could imply that Vessel is dead in all ways but physical, or perhaps it could be a promise of Vessel's demise, burned alive and left to turn to ash - or are "those eyes like fire" and the raging flames within doing much, much more than that?

To add a very belated addition to the discussion, I want to bring up something regarding the lyric "I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre." In fact, it is going to be the focus of this entire post. In continuing with this idea of the death and rebirth/resurfacing and possibly rebuilding of the self, and identity fractures that I described in great detail in this post on DYWTYLM, it's important here that I start off stating that there's two underlying assumptions that I'm making, which first is that He and Vessel are both the insect at first, their own selves tangled as noted by Levynn but capable of separation under the right circumstance, like a fantastical version of plurality where they can separate physically while still being connected as parts of a whole. My second assumption is that Vessel meets his death voluntarily, and Sleep is involved, regardless of whether or not Sleep is actually the one to do the job.

I'm using these as bases because in my interpretation of this theory, Vessel has to die, and that even though the two of them connected in mind and soul and often body, He is ultimately able to survive and live on, which requires physical distinction. This separation is in accordance with descriptions in the same song we've been discussing of Vessel fighting back against Sleep. Vessel, who used to fight Sleep's enemies "to let them know that they contend with [him]", now turns the blade against Sleep, his new enemy that he faces for Him. Perhaps this is a show of both his anger and his newfound devotion, a final attempt to damage Sleep to whatever extent he can while he has the chance, not with any hope of surviving but to give Him the best chance to carry on, since Vessel knows firsthand how much Sleep struggles in a weak enough state.

Describing Him and Vessel as a winged insect is a very interesting choice, which is what I ultimately want to focus on here and dissect. What kind of insect would that be, I wonder? I don't recall if there is official artwork depicting that, but without anything official as reference there's a near-infinite number of possibilities to choose from - flies, mosquitos, cicadas, bees, wasps, butterflies, moths, beetles, the list is endless - all with their own symbolic interpretations and impacts on this original theory and extrapolations. I would need an entire separate post to go over all of that, though - imagine examining just the different eyes that vary from species to species! - so I'll just go into one possibility and leave the rest as an open question.

One major question I have about this winged insect, and about Sleep, is this: Does Sleep still have eyes looking in other directions like we had seen several times in previous songs, or is Sleep's attention all on Vessel now, "[taking] aim at him for once" like he used to ask for?

See, there's an inherent contradiction here, going back to the labeling of a pyre. Sure, it's said to be for a funeral, but it's never explicitly stated who it's intended for. Not only that, but we also questioned at the end of the first paragraph if there is something else to be said about the fire and its behavior, what all Sleep is doing with it and plans to do with it. That's the thing about fire - perhaps it's been created and cultivated for a specific purpose, as part of a funeral in this case, but when you take a look at how Sleep has historically behaved, and the kind of language we see used to describe this behavior and motivation, there's other themes that comes up that give Sleep's fire another layer of meaning.

For fire doesn't just burn, it consumes. It has an endless hunger, latching onto anything it can grab hold of that can fuel its existence, taking and taking until there is nothing left. There's a sort of joy in that, a celebration, bursts of light and sound coinciding with the addition of more fuel, greater the more powerful that intake is over time and growing wide and tall in the most ideal circumstances. When the fire is weak, a breeze could snuff it out, but even a pinch of smoldering ash can manage to survive and grow into something that can lay waste to forests and home and towns, nearly apocalyptic when watching it as it razes thousands of square miles and jumps across roads and rivers. It, too, can rush and flood you, and swallow you whole.

Before Vessel, He discovered Sleep in a state like that smoldering ember. Yet, with the fuel of His initial deal and Vessel's inception and overtaking of Him, with every ritual bringing worship in greater numbers and greater fervor enabling rapid growth, this is what Sleep has turned into. This is what Vessel must face, not just a powerful God but one that he fed and nurtured into this state. The fire in those eyes is extreme, but it's also not eternal. It can still be deprived of that which feeds it, and if that were to happen, even be extinguished. There's hope in that.

Throughout the story, we see Vessel always coming back to Sleep, despite the flames that threaten to lick at his skin and singe and burn. Instinctively, perhaps even compulsively, he returns to this source of light and love and fear and wonder, the flame that grows each time he's fed by Vessel's worship. Examining one of the possible winged insects, his behavior is like that of a moth, drawn to the aura and essence of this God that desires him and hurts him in unequal measure.

Recall how one of our basic assumptions is that separation between the two is possible, despite how entwined they've been from the start even as they've been drifting apart. This coexistence and indeed codependency with Him is all Vessel knows, it's quite literally his entire life next to Sleep. If you consider the admission that "it's been two days since the mainframe went down and [he's] still messed up" as a reflection of the breaking down of the connection between Vessel and Him, which we've been seeing accelerate over time in songs like DYWTYLM, with this "life like wires," severing those wires is all it would take, messy and painful as it would be.

No longer would we have "the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb," but that'd turn out to be the key to Vessel's victory, even as it sealed his fate. It's clear that Vessel would eventually get too close and be brought down by those eyes, but this time it was deliberate in a way that is fueled by something completely different than any self-destructive behavior he exhibited in the past, and it paid off. That lamb survived, by no means unscathed but still not lost.

The one thing that remained the same, persisting throughout their parallel existence that transcends life and death itself, is memory. The autumn leaves, the rain, the night. The lights of his eyes, his grin. This grief that accompanies it will never go away, will never grow any smaller, but He can break though the walls that are closing in on Him, keep running forward, become something new. Most importantly, He has to do it for Himself. He'll be alone, but the memory will always be there, knowing Vessel is just an inch apart from Him, on his own continuum.

[journey-to-the-attic]

Do you think IK or the brothers would ever find out about all the times she's died in past loops? Does Barbatos even know, would he tell them if he did?

i feel like barbatos would figure out pretty quickly that ik's appearance is an anomaly within the way things usually happen in the loop, and if i were to put an ironic torturing-him twist on this - potentially this is the first cycle where he 'gives up', i.e. takes a step back and doesn't try to interfere - so he realises that he's been making things worse the whole time by involuntarily causing ik's premature deaths

honestly i think he'd just keep it to himself entirely, out of guilt and also not wanting to ruin everyone else's mental states with the knowledge of these endless cycles that they haven't even noticed they've been trapped in. he doesn't see a reason to burden ik in particular with the idea that she's 'meant to be dead', so he doesn't say anything

though potentially ik herself becomes aware on her own, and barbatos admits what he knows upon being confronted. mayhaps one will become fully aware of the cycle upon death, but will forget by the next time it begins again, and ik (who cannot seem to stay dead ever) has another dies-but-is-brought-back-within-the-same-timeline experience that leaves her aware

alternatively we leave the poor kid alone and she breaks them all out of the cycle with the power of love and empathy, and barbatos just eventually comes to peace with the fact that he couldn't have ever done that on his own. maybe once he's sure they've broken out of the loop, he'd confide in diavolo, but even then he'd want to leave ik and the brothers in peace

(don't get me started on how the brothers would react if they became aware of the previous deaths. i feel like, as cruel as time is, they'd have been involved in a significant number of them - whether or not having done so directly, maliciously or carelessly - especially since poor barbatos is the one that keeps accidentally aggravating them)

[krikeymate]

Thinking about an AU where 18-year-old Sam on the verge of leaving comes home to her mother screaming at her little sister. Sam's still high, the shouts ringing in her ears but the words formless. She's about to intervene when a slap cuts through it all. Her sister's on the floor and in the blink of an eye Sam has a hand wrapped around her mother's throat, slamming her against the wall.

Tara's climbing to her feet, eyes wide with fear at the scene. Sam doesn't look away from her mother as she says "Tara, go upstairs and pack a bag." Her sister doesn't move, so Sam turns away to look at her and repeats herself. Tara must see something in her wild eyes, because she runs up the stairs.

By the time Sam escorts her downstairs half an hour later, their mother is nowhere to be seen. Tara's led through the packing and into the car in silence. The what's happening?, the where are we going?, the are you ok? sits on the tip of her tongue, choked back by uncertainty and confusion.

Sam drives out of Woodsboro and doesn't look back.

OR

Sam, 19-years-old, long since kicked out of the house and on her way out of Woodsboro. She just has one stop to make, a goodbye she has to give first.

She sneaks into the house. The door is unlocked, she doesn't even need the key Tara hid outside for her, and it enrages her. Her baby sister is upstairs sleeping and anyone can just walk in.

Her mother is passed out on the floor leaning against the couch, snoring away and a bottle still in her lap. She creeps past her and up the stairs.

Sam perches herself on the edge of Tara's bed. Her sister is sprawled out on the mattress, the covers kicked off, and it makes her smile. She brushes Tara's hair back from her face and the smile falls from her face.

Her fingers trail down to the shadow around her neck. Sam reaches over to turn on the bedside lamp, catching sight of Tara's wrist at the same time. These are bruises. She wakes her sister up and demands answers from her. She doesn't like the answers she eventually coaxes from her. She likes Tara's attempt to lie to her even less.

She makes her pack, tells her to wait out front, that she'll be out in a minute. She kicks her mother awake, tells her she's leaving for good, and that she's not leaving alone. She tells her that she will never have the chance to hurt them again, and if she tries, well, she'll learn exactly how much like her father she can be,

[realsafari]

at this point you can only impress me, because i swear it is IMPOSSIBLE to underestimate you. the bar was ON THE GROUND, and you brought a fucking SHOVEL.

"no you"

I DONT FUCKING CARE. YOUR ROAST SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLIMENT. I LITERALLY EXPECTED NOTHING AND YET I AM STILL DISAPPOINTED.

YOU HAVE TWO DAMN BRAINCELLS, AND BOTH ARE FIGHTING FOR THIRD PLACE.

[shatterthefragments]

I asked hey since you’re going upstairs anyways could you take this bin of laundry too instead of accepting your bowl to bring up (I always do if I don’t have stuff to bring up) but no. And then “this too”

I’m going to “this too” myself to fucking death if I’m not careful. (I’m too tired. I’m Very Aware I don’t even have time for a good cry right now because dealing with my laundry SAME DAY isn’t fucking enough. And I’m not getting much help that’s out of the ordinary. And I’m just. Not Enough as an adult.

Maybe mum would help me hang some of this wet laundry. But maybe not.

“But I work tomorrow” “doesn’t matter.”

And if I want mum to get to vote I’m the one that needs to drag her ass there. (Fuck. I. Fuck. Just. Not the conservatives please. )

And I mean. Probably part of this is that my period started too. (Which honestly thank fuck bc I do not want to be on heavy days for inner thigh tattoo day). But like. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time to wallow. I don’t have time to type this shit out. I should’ve been asleep an hour ago. More if I actually went in earlier. Maybe half an hour. Maybe FUCK YOU and I’ll make myself breakfast at 4am y’all can go back to sleep after. I just need to not kill myself or anyone else and to drive I need to FUCKING SLEEP.

I.

I was feeling SO GOOD. I got to visit with my friend from class and meet their cats!!! I got the errands done. I got some bakery rewards. I got my glasses dropped off and perhaps they’ll maybe cover new frames since they’re under warranty hopefully but idk. I got home and made food. I did two loads of laundry technically sort of. But I can’t do it all. I can’t. And I can’t ever do enough for you. But unless you want to pay me at least 2/3 of what I’m making now (which I KNOW you can’t actually afford) I don’t really have the spare time to clean the house in that way. I just. I’m crashing out again. (I’m so glad I got some kitty time and socialization though)

[forswornfae]

We're about as ready for Helene as we're gonna get. Time to try to get some sleep before she hits us.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

About a month ago my new coworker told me he didn't like LoK (that's fine). When I asked why he said it reminded him too much of The Last of Us 2. And I was like ??????? HuH???? So I asked him to elaborate, and due to time constraints (and maybe him just....refusing to really elaborate????) the most I could get out of him was "Korra/Ellie choosing not to kill Kuvira/Abby at the end" and that was "bad."

AND THAT'S IT! Nothing else, no expansion. So I have to tell y'all, my ass hasn't been ok since. It's keeping me up at night. I'm trying to figure out what he means. Cause the math ain't mathing lemme tell you. I think it's all bullshit TT0TT Like this man had a vision, but god does he need some fucking glasses.

I haven't been this inside my own head since I was debating with air about P5. TT0TT

[butterflies-and-bumble-bees]

.

[folklaurr]

I sat on a cold Toronto side walk for 4.5 hours then stood a barricade for another 2.5 before the show even started and it was the best night of my life

[1introvertedsage]

Changing the direction your bed faces is such an underrated game changer!

I’ve played around with the direction my bed is facing for a while. Both where I am and where I lived previously.

Finding the right direction, I sleep soooo good! Even if I don’t get enough sleep, I still wake up feeling refreshed asf.