#best cancer insurance
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ageasfederal · 7 months ago
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Heart and Cancer Insurance Plans | Ageas Federal Life Insurance
Discover the best heart and cancer insurance plans online in India from Ageas Federal. Enjoy multiple minor stage claims, tax benefits, and comprehensive coverage. Connect with us for more details.
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rajdeepsinghsharma · 2 years ago
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Is Cancer Insurance A Good Idea? I Already Have A Mediclaim.
Cancer insurance can be a good idea, especially if you’re looking for additional coverage that specifically targets the financial costs associated with cancer treatment. While a standard health insurance policy, such as a Mediclaim, covers a wide range of medical expenses, the cost of cancer treatment can often be substantial, and a standard policy may not fully cover all the expenses. Best…
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creepyscritches · 2 months ago
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Banging on the walls chanting "OPEN ENROLLMENT FOR ACA THRU JAN 15" like some deranged town crier. Election results aside, you have options to access healthcare as a RIGHT through the ACA. NO one can dismantle the Affordable Care Act in less than 4 years, so SIGN UP! GET YOUR CARE! USE THE SYSTEM!
You have options RIGHT NOW that will be stable thru the next year, the one after that, and I'd be shocked to see them shrink even the year after that. That means RIGHT NOW you can get signed up for next year to gain 100% covered preventative care (your annual check ups, pap smears, dental cleaning, vision check). You have the option to get checked and screened as you need, do NOT be dissuaded from exploring ACA choices. They are SOLID, LEGISLATED, and WORK BEST WHEN PEOPLE USE THEM.
I can't change most things around me, BUT I CAN tell everyone I know that THEY CAN GET LIFE SAVING CARE. THEY CAN GET PRESCRIPTIONS. THEY CAN GET PREGNANCY CARE. THEY CAN GET CANCER CARE. AND THEY WILL GET THAT CARE!!!!!!
SIGN UP BY DECEMBER 15, 2024 FOR COVERAGE TO BEGIN ON JANUARY 1, 2025. ENROLLMENT AFTER 12/15/24 WILL HAVE COVERAGE BEGINNING FEBRUARY 1, 2025.
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aryanblogs123 · 4 months ago
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Best Cancer Insurance Plans | Stashfin
Secure your health with Stashfin’s best cancer insurance plans, providing extensive coverage for diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, tailored to your needs.
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insuradvisor · 5 months ago
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Best Cancer Insurance Plans in India: Ensuring Financial Security
Cancer is one of the leading causes of morbidity and mortality worldwide, and India is no exception. The financial burden of cancer treatment can be overwhelming, often leading to significant financial distress for families. This makes cancer insurance a crucial aspect of financial planning in India. Here's why cancer insurance is important:
High Treatment Costs: Cancer treatment, including surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and post-treatment care, can be extremely expensive. A comprehensive cancer insurance plan can cover these costs, alleviating financial stress.
Increasing Incidence Rates: The incidence of cancer in India is rising, with millions of new cases diagnosed each year. Having cancer insurance ensures that individuals are prepared for such unexpected health challenges.
Coverage for Advanced Treatments: Cancer insurance plans often cover advanced treatment options and new therapies, which might not be covered under regular health insurance policies.
Peace of Mind: Knowing that you have a financial safety net in place can provide peace of mind, allowing patients and their families to focus on recovery rather than worrying about expenses.
Features to Look for in Cancer Insurance Plans
When choosing a cancer insurance plan, consider the following features:
Comprehensive Coverage: Ensure the plan covers all stages of cancer, from diagnosis to advanced stages.
Sum Insured: Look for a plan with a high sum insured to cover all possible treatment costs.
Lump-Sum Payout: Opt for plans that offer a lump-sum payout upon diagnosis, which can be used for treatment, care, or other expenses.
Premium Waiver: Some plans waive future premiums upon diagnosis, reducing the financial burden on policyholders.
Income Benefit: Certain plans provide a regular income for a specified period, helping families manage daily expenses during treatment.
Top Cancer Insurance Plans in India
Max Life Cancer Insurance Plan: Offers comprehensive coverage for all stages of cancer with a high sum insured and lump-sum payouts. The plan also includes premium waiver benefits upon diagnosis.
HDFC Life Cancer Care: Provides coverage for early and major stages of cancer, with multiple payout options and an increasing sum assured feature to counter inflation.
ICICI Prudential Cancer Protect: Covers all stages of cancer with a lump-sum benefit on diagnosis. It also includes a premium waiver benefit and income benefit options.
Aegon Life iCancer Insurance Plan: Offers extensive coverage for various stages of cancer with a high sum insured and critical illness benefit.
Detailed Analysis and Recommendations
For a detailed analysis of the best cancer insurance plans available in India, SMC Insurance provides an informative article. Their expert insights cover the key features, benefits, and comparisons of various plans, helping you make an informed decision. To read more about the best cancer insurance plans, visit SMC Insurance's comprehensive article.
This article highlights the importance of cancer insurance in India, the features to look for in a plan, and recommendations for top plans. It also directs readers to SMC Insurance for detailed analysis and information.
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stashfinloanapp · 7 months ago
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Best Cancer Insurance Plans By Stashfin
Discover peace of mind with Stashfin's best cancer insurance plans. Safeguard your future against the unexpected with comprehensive coverage tailored to your needs. With Stashfin, you get more than just financial protection; you get support and reassurance during challenging times. Explore our range of cancer insurance plans today and ensure you and your loved ones are prepared for whatever tomorrow may bring. Trust Stashfin for reliable coverage and compassionate care when you need it most.
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vitiateoriginator · 1 year ago
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Yesterday I went for a routine checkup with my obgyn and the first thing she did was say to me 'have I told you you have a large thyroid?"
Anyways now I gotta make an appointment with a primary doctor to see what all that's about
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Overview Of Best Cancer Health Insurance at Livlong
Check out the article about the best health insurance for cancer patients by Livlong. Visit the website for more information on the best cancer insurance plans for you.
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dhanvantrihealthcare · 1 year ago
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Best super specialty Hospital in Kanpur. Specializing in Urology, Gynecology, Orthopedics, Cancer treatment & CGHS/ESI empanelment
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Overview Of Best Cancer Health Insurance at Livlong
Check out the article about the best health insurance for cancer patients by Livlong. Visit the website for more information on the best cancer insurance plans for you.
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transgendz · 29 days ago
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As some of yall may know from my previous post about this, I am the main provider for my household, and one of my 2 roommates was just recently told she has cancer. She's in diagnostic limbo trying to figure out what kind, but they've told her nothing but cancer presents like this. I am putting more details in the cuts below, but trying to keep this short.
That being said, we are short on this months rent, we have prescriptions we need filled, and lab work coming up. Our storage bill is gonna be late at best. This goal would make sure all of that gets covered. We urgently need help, and I am working 80 hours a weeks and it's not enough. We do not get a grace period on rent. If you'd prefer to help by directly getting us something we need, I've made a list of products I know we will need to keep the house "cancer patient clean" for her health.
Dm me for proof or more details, more rambling details below the cut
$0/$1,200
PP--$C--V--kofi
So, all of this came at the worst time. I wanna lead with the fact that I am the only one I'm the household able to hold down a job, and this is purely for disability reasons. I just started getting 80 hours a week paid decently very recently, and that would have us stable. But without transportation, our groceries have mostly had to come through door dash for almost a month now. This has quadrupled our grocery bills easily. We found out my roommate is losing her health insurance soon, too. This is all more grim than i can really figure out how to put to words. Literally, any help is huge, and we will be making a gfm when she has a full diagnosis and treatment plan.
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celestie0 · 3 months ago
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch4. in a mother’s eyes
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ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
ᰔ chapter. 4/x
ᰔ words. 10k (omg a whole number...very sexy)
a/n. hellooo my ihm friends! hope you're all doing well. ahh i'm glad to finally be posting this chapter lolol. it's a littleee off tangent from what happens in ch3, but still has some important plot developments. it does dive into feelings of depression & anxiety, so just wanted to give a warning on that! but yea other than that i hope you enjoy and see you at the bottom!! :) also so sorry if there are errors i only had time to skim through it once :((
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 (pending)
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“Just go ahead and sign right here for me.”
You take the pen from the hospice nurse’s hand. It’s cheap black plastic with a pink fuzzy pom pom attached to the end of it with peeling glue. 
Your eyes briefly flit across the paragraphs detailed in printed ink until your gaze lands on the highlighted lines at the bottom of the page. Your signature. Spouse’s signature.
“We’ll need to have your husband come here to sign the paperwork as well, since he’ll have to add your mother on his list of dependents, but we can certainly get started on expediting this process for you since the insurance has already been pre-approved,” the nurse tells you as she accepts your signed paperwork and then neatly tucks it into one of the compartment holders. 
The afternoon goes by smoothly, with your mother surprisingly patient as she sits in the waiting room while you wait for the nurses to formally show you to her new room.
You thought that you could put off putting her in hospice for a little longer, because in all honesty, you weren’t prepared to let her go just yet. You weren’t prepared to not have her in the house anymore. But lately, she’s been putting herself in lots of danger, like attempting to take her own medications when she does not know the correct dosing, and forgetting things on the stove when she attempts to cook.
But the last straw was when you came home from a very brief run to the grocery store at night a couple days ago to see a handful of your neighbors out on the front lawn with your mother at their side. She had apparently gotten out of the house and walked down the neighborhood, then fallen on the sidewalk but was unable to get up. When your neighbors had found her, a miracle as they were just coming home from dinner and caught sight of her in the illumination of their headlights, they tried to help her get up but she couldn’t. She couldn’t even tell the firefighters that came by to help her what her name was, or what year it was, or where she lived.
It was when you realized you couldn’t even keep her safe anymore that you had to let go.
“Is that a wedding ring?” your mother asks, pointing a trembling finger to it as she lays tucked inside her new hospice bed, “are you married?”
You glance down at the ring Gojo gave you in the courthouse, almost surprised to find that you were still wearing it in good faith. “Yes, mom. I am.”
“Why am I here?” she asks you, “I don’t want to be here.”
You stiffen a little. Although you were mentally preparing yourself to answer these questions, the preparation didn’t make it any easier. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just for a little short while, okay? The doctors want to run some tests on you.”
“Who are you married to?” she asks.
“To Satoru,” you tell her, “our neighbor.”
She lets out a small gasp. “The sweet boy who fixed our A/C?”
You roll your eyes. not sure why your mother has hyper fixated on that memory with Gojo when most days she’ll look at you like you’re a stranger. “Yes mom.”
“Oh, I like him,” she tells you with an affectionate nod. She hesitates slightly, wearisome of some other thought that flashes through her mind. “How long have you been married?”
You let out a small sigh. This is already a conversation you had with her a couple days ago, and it doesn’t feel good to lie to her. It was hard enough to do once, but to have to constantly lie to her over and over again over all the smallest things just so that she stays calm and safe and happy seems to drain you of all your energy and happiness you had left in your bones.
Little white lies, that’s what they are. Harmless ones. That’s what you tell yourself to absolve yourself of the guilt.
“I’ll come back soon, okay? I’ll tell you more about him some other day,” you say to her, speaking gently in the way an adult would speak to a child. The way she used to speak to you. You could never exactly pinpoint when those roles became reversed.
You finish discussing some more insurance matters with the front-desk nurse as she puts together a small folder of documents for you. While she works, you glance at the little counter shelf that includes a plethora of pamphlets on how to deal with the complicated feelings that arise from putting a loved one in hospice care, and dealing with the emotions of having a relative with advanced stage dementia. They are pretty brochures, lovingly creased at the folds as if looked through multiple times by people who walk in and out of this facility, but seemingly only few take them home. You slip one of each into your folder when the nurse hands it to you, manage the best smile possible, and then turn on your heel to head out the hospice doors.
The sun is setting outside as you take the walk back to your car, which was purposefully parked a half mile away to afford you the luxury of a melancholic stroll. Somehow, you feel like you’ve left a piece of yourself back at the hospice. A feeling you can’t quite shake from your bones.
Your feet stop walking somewhere along the sidewalk on their own, the street lights above you flickering brighter into life as the sky is now a dusty gray with only streaks of purple. There’s a liquor store you spot across a small parking lot to your right, and you’re guided towards it, but not without a sickening feeling in your chest.
When you open the door, the bell at the top jingles, and you glance to the right where you see a lanky young man playing some sort of shooter game on his phone by the cash register. You grab a bottle of vodka, a bottle of white wine, some packs of skittles, one of the mini pizza boxes at the hot food station, and then dump it all onto the counter.
The young man scans all your items without even so much as sparing you a glance, but does take a look at your ID, then says, “Total’s $68.65, cash or card?”
“Card.”
Just before you tap your card, something displayed behind the cashier counter catches your eye. Something familiar, something tempting, something you weigh in your head about twenty times within one millisecond all due to the cortisol coursing through your veins and you eventually say, “Uh, and could I get one of those, too?”
The cashier looks behind himself to what you’re pointing at before turning around. “Sure.”
The same jingle is heard on top of your head as you leave the store, now with a burning hot mini pizza box in your hand as well as a plastic bag that carries your candy and the two clinking bottles of alcohol.
“Oh!! omg, y/n,” you hear a feminine voice call out and you’re instantly wincing. The last thing you wanted was to be bothered right now. You just wanted to go home and get drunk and then pass out on the floor of your living room. But alas, the world is small.
You turn around to see Hana come running across the sidewalk lot towards you, and when she’s about a few feet away, she glances down at your hands and all the things you were carrying. You quickly shove your last-minute purchase into your jacket pocket with a shameful conscience, and try to hide the plastic bag of liquor behind your calves. There was no hiding the pizza box, but at least that was the least incriminating.
“Oh, Hana, wow! What a coincidence seeing you here,” you say to her, pressing your lips into a small smile.
“Yeah, I um,” she points over her shoulder towards the hospice that’s standing tall in the darkness of night, cells with windows illuminated with light. If you didn’t know any better, you would think it was a prison. “Remember I told you my friend’s mom is sick and she’s at this hospice?”
“Yeah,” you say.
“I was just visiting her mom with her,” she tells you.
“Aw,” you comment, “I see, I see.”
You adore Hana, you really do. She was there for you when the whole Yuna and Choso thing went down, picking your shifts up for a good week when you couldn’t stomach going into work when your ex-best friend’s stupid face was gloating in the halls over how she stole your boyfriend. Hana was there for you when you were a new hire and all the doctors were being bitchy about a “newbie in the ED”, but she stood up for you, even cussed the fuck out of one of attendings for the whole hall to hear when you were being disrespected by one of them. She’s someone you can beam about how hot the EMT and Firefighter men that stroll into the ED are, too. A priceless companion.
And even though you two have hung out after hours sometimes, it was still always a little awkward to see a coworker outside of work.
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I actually, um, was going to tell you at our shift tomorrow, but I just admitted my mom to the hospice too,” you say, “and…thanks a lot for telling me about it. I really appreciate it. It seems like a wonderful facility.”
Her eyes briefly widen with surprise before they soften once again. “Oh, that’s wonderful, love. I hope all goes well. And your little insurance scam worked! Good for you!”
“Shhh,” you hiss at her, looking around yourself with paranoia, “the feds are everywhere.”
She laughs, sweet in the air, before the sound settles and she looks at you with something reminiscent of well-intentioned concern. Her eyes flit to the plastic bag you were still holding behind your legs. “Hey…um, if…if you ever want some company when you come to visit your mom, just let me know. I hope you know you don’t have to do everything alone.”
You blink at her, sucking in a short breath to respond, but it only leaves you as a slight puff of air. There’s a silent gratitude that you give her, because it’s hard for you to express any feelings with words, but you’ve found that the people in your life who know you best can always read you without them. 
“Thank you, Hana,” you manage to say with a slight croak to your voice because you were fighting back tears.
She smiles at you. “Take care, okay? And see ya tomorroooowwwwww,” she coos at you, coming up to you to give you a small hug, a squeeze of your upper arm, and then she heads back towards the direction of the hospice.
You watch her walk away until you can’t see her anymore. And then you head towards your car.
When you arrive at your neighborhood, you park in front of Gojo’s house. You have a feeling that you won’t be able to bear the vast emptiness of your home now that your mother is elsewhere, and so you drag your feet up the stone stairs of his house with a heavy heart instead.
The spare key that he gave you weakly pushes into the keyhole with about as much force as your fingers can manage, and you realize they almost feel atrophied. 
The house is dark when you step inside, spare for the ambient street lights shining through cracked open blinds on the windows, and the curtains rustle gently from the draft of the AC, a chill that reaches you too by the time you make it to the staircase.
It doesn’t seem like Gojo’s home. A glance at the clock tells you it’s close to 8pm. You briefly consider texting him to ask where he’s at, why he’s out so late, when he’ll be home, and what’s for dinner, but you can’t even bring yourself to pull your phone out of your coat pocket.
Weak legs manage to take you upstairs and you’re about to pass through to your room when the slightly open door to the master bedroom taunts you, like a peephole into some other wordly dimension. Like the wardrobe in the chronicles of Narnia. A portal into your fake husband’s life.
With a palm pushing on the door, you slowly crack it open, and you know the anxious voices in your head are getting worse by the day when the creaking of the door hinges sounds like a lullaby to you. 
Was this an invasion of privacy? And did you really care if it was?
The room is big, with a king sized bed off to the left, sheets neatly made and duvet primly tucked under, like the way hotel beds are set up. You feel a slight flush of embarrassment when you remember you haven’t been making your bed in the mornings for the past couple days you’ve been living here so far, and you wonder if Gojo would judge you for something like that. If he’d think you were a messy or undisciplined person. If he would think less of you.
Truthfully, in a lot of ways, you still felt like a child. You barely weathered a lot of your formative adolescent years when dealing with your parents’ divorce, and you’ve had to put so much of your life on pause to take care of your mom ever since she got diagnosed. So here you were, in the body of a 29-year-old woman, yet still feeling so painfully juvenile. One that forgets to make her bed in the mornings, and on most nights can’t seem to stomach anything other than cereal for dinner. It was like you were still at a party that everyone else had left, except all it ever was is hell. Your life was such a stark contrast to the lives of other adults you’ve come across. The ones that wake up at six to go on runs, the ones that have paid off mortgages with five figures in their retirement accounts, oh god, the ones that meal prep, and the ones that, all things considered, have their lives together. The ones that don’t spend at least an hour of every day, in fetal position on their bed, sobbing until tears soak through the sheets of the pillow down to the feathers like bone, because you’re so overwhelmed with stress and preparing yourself for the grief of losing your mother which you know that, no matter how hard you try to save her from, will inevitably one day come. 
You used to cook dinner every night, make your bed every morning, and go to pilates on the weekends. Back when you were a little younger and healed and excited to live life. But now, you barely get by. Your priorities are with your mother. You can’t remember the last time you did anything nice for yourself, including something as simple as the luxury of getting to come home to a clean house because you hardly ever had time to clean it, not with all the doctor’s appointments you were driving your mother to, not with all the extra shifts you were picking up at the hospital to pay off your debt, not with all the times you felt too depressed to even get out of bed. 
But your mother is in hospice now, so you’ve made time, right? You’ve made the decision that everyone in your life has been begging you to finally do. So why do you still feel so empty inside?
By a quick survey of the room, you notice Gojo doesn’t really have many framed photos hung up on the walls or perched up on surfaces. None, actually. Only a contemporary painting above his bed frame and then a faded vintage horror movie poster plastered up near his desk. Not terribly odd, since in your experience most men don’t really do the whole “cluttering the house with millions of photos of their family” thing until they at least have a couple of kids and some purebred dog. The thought of Gojo someday setting up a little portrait photo at his desk with his wife’s—his eventual real forever wife’s, pretty face in it, posing with their two beautiful kids, makes an oddly melancholic feeling waft through you. You wonder if he would keep a two-by-two in his wallet, too.
Your feet move one in front of the other as your finger traces the surface wood of a dresser cabinet, something that looks a little vintage and oaky, in stark contrast to the modern minimalist vibe Gojo has set up in the rest of the room. A family heirloom, maybe? There’s no dust that coats your finger, which surprises you. If you were to run your finger across your dresser at home you’d have collected enough dust to snort down your windpipes like a recreational drug. But Gojo’s a real estate agent, making a living off of dressing houses up in perfect cosplay so that monetarily stable middle class families feel inclined to buy them. So you’re not exactly surprised he’s invested in keeping his own house in pristine condition too. 
There is a little bit of chaos, though. Like the shirt he has haphazardly hung over his chair at his office space over to the right. There’s a coffee mug sitting there too, porcelain and reflecting the moon light off, but upon peering inside you see that it’s half empty with stale coffee. He’s got pens sprawled across the desk, in a fashion that suggests he accidentally knocked them over in a rush, and slowly, like some grounding exercise, you place them one by one back into the paper mache pencil holder. It briefly occurs to you that he has a lot of paper mache containers of sorts around the house. You lift up the pencil cup, turning it in your hand until your eyes catch something written on it with glittery pink gel pen.
i luv u unkle toru! -yur BEST FREND 4EVUR juno!!! :D
A small smile makes it onto your face. The handwriting was messy, more like scratches than smooth lines, and nothing less than what you would expect of a child. You remember making paper mache and clay trinkets at preschool for your mom and dad when you were younger. And you’re sure if you were brave enough to open the box of memorabilia that sits in your attic some day, you’d see your own scratchy scribbled handwriting on them. An innocence that is long gone and buried, never again to be delicately placed on desks or counters for all the living.
The draft from the AC reaches you once again, brushing over your skin and causing a chill to shiver down your spine. It kicks at the curtains as well, causing them to ruffle up towards you, baring the dark outside world into the streets. And you notice in that momentary glance that there’s a roof just outside the window that overlooks the backyard. A roof? Spotted by a depressed woman going through a quarter life crisis? There was nothing more tempting than that. 
The window was easy to open, which only caused unease over the revelation of how easy it would be for someone to rob this house. You make a mental note to tell Gojo to get a ring camera or security system of some sort since he doesn’t seem to have one, but you can already picture him telling you something about how statistically low the crime rates are in this neighborhood compared to all the other neighborhoods, and then you’d tell him that it’s just for your peace of mind. But whether he’d compromise or not after that, you’re really not sure.
You take a seat on the roof, a little scared as you sit because of the slight slope, but it’s comfortable once you’re settled. You sit criss-cross-apple-sauce, staring out into the neighborhood of perfectly lined up suburban houses. You’ve got a better view into some neighbors' backyards, noticing that a couple of them had pools while some of them have big gardens. There's a cat resting up on a fence in the distance. A car drives by with headlights illuminating everything in its proximity briefly before zooming off. You glance up at the sky, and notice the full moon, but it’s too cloudy to see any stars. Or perhaps it was just the light pollution from the lamps making it difficult to see.
On instinct, your hand reaches inside your coat pocket for your phone, but your knuckles hit something else instead. A moment of brief confusion flickers through your head, but then you immediately recall the last-minute purchase you made at the gas station.
Your hand pulls out the object, and then you stare down at it. Squinting your eyes a little, because it’s a sight that feels familiar but also one you haven’t seen in so long: a pack of twenty Marlboro red cigarettes. 
You’ve tried a lot of things to manage your stress over the years. Excessively working out, eating a lot of sugar, going on six hour hikes to touch grass, flirting with random men at bars, fucking Choso until he was rendered speechless, multiple types of antidepressants, you almost tried smoking weed once with your roommate in college but you wimped out last second. But the habit that had gotten you through the years of 21 to 24 is held loosely in your hand right now. It’s been five years since you quit, but resolve was often a fickle thing. As the saying goes, once an addict, always an addict. 
There’s a brief moment of hesitation as you slowly peel the plastic off of the back, but then it all comes back to you like a reflex you’ll never forget up to where you slide a cigar up out and then pinch it between your two fingers. Forgetting to buy a lighter with the cigarettes is definitely something you would do, but because you remembered it was something that you would do, you remembered not to do it. The flick of the flame coming to life is ASMR you didn’t know you were painfully nostalgic for, and you balance the cigarette between your lips in that sort of movie-star way people used to obsess over back in the day. But just as you bring the lighter up to the end of the cigarette, and just before you can light it—
A hand shoots out in your periphery, grabbing your wrist and entirely stalling the movement.
You gasp, lips parting enough for the cigarette to fall from them and into your lap. The hand wrapped around your wrist is large and masculine, and you briefly consider screaming, but when you snap your neck to look at the perpetrator, you see Gojo crouched down next to you on this roof. You notice he’s wearing a black suit, a tie that was loosely secure hanging from his neck into the space between his spread thighs as he’s crouched, and whatever gel he had in his hair from earlier only barely remains as strands fall over his forehead haphazardly. He looks like he’s on the other end of a long work day. 
You blink at him, expression plastered with surprise, but his is only earnest. With breathtaking blue eyes that you realize he could easily use to surrender a person just by looking at them, like the way he’s looking at you right now. His lips are pressed together into a firm line, as if to suppress some emotion, but the slight crease to his brow makes you feel like you’re in trouble somehow. Like he was silently scolding you for something.
“I—” you stutter.
He lets go of your wrist and discreetly pulls the lighter out of your hand. And then his hand reaches for the pack of cigarettes you were balancing on your knee, but on some reflex that you don’t even think about, you try to snatch them away from him, and now you’re both tugging at the same pack of cigarettes.
“y/n,” he says, “let go.”
“No,” you say stubbornly.
He sighs and tugs a little harder. “Give them to me.”
“But—” you stammer, voice becoming softer to see if that’d work on him, “I’m…” Your grip on them tightens. “I’m stressed.”
He raises an eyebrow at you, then finally loses his patience and snatches them right out of your hand. He stands up from his crouched down position to toss the pack off to the side onto the roof somewhere. You’re surprised when he lets out a sigh and sits down next to you on the roof, as if he felt the obligation to. His legs stretch out in front of him, but still bent slightly at the knees, and he leans backwards with his body weight braced on his palms laid flat on wood paneling behind him. “There are better ways to relieve stress,” he tells you candidly. 
“Like what?” you ask, and just when he opens his mouth to speak, you clarify, “and don’t say sex.”
He shuts his mouth and his eyes flit up to the sky for a brief second. “Damn. I didn’t have a back-up answer.” 
You roll your eyes, releasing a deep breath, then draw your knees to your chest before resting your chin on top of them. 
“I didn’t know you smoke,” he says after a century-long minute. 
You wince a little, because you were half hoping he was going to just drop the subject all together. 
You bite your lip nervously and hug your knees to your chest tighter as if to hide yourself from him. “I don’t. Well, I haven’t. Um, not for a while.”
“Huh. I see,” he says.
Another silence passes, and as he shuffles next to you, the fabric of his suit brushes against the fabric of your coat, and you’ve become entirely too aware of the feeling.
“So,” he says, breaking the awkward silence, “your mom’s in hospice now?”
You nod, enthusiastic enough to where you won’t look like you’re entirely depressed about it.
“That’s good,” he says, “no issues with the insurance?”
You shake your head. “They need you to sign some papers by the end of the week though,” you tell him. “We’ll have to go in person.”
He nods slowly to affirm he’ll make time for it. “I really hope things get better for your mom,” he says, voice soft as he stares off into neighbors homes like you had been doing ten minutes ago. You see the cat that was resting on the fence get up, do a big stretch, and start walking along the length of the fence. Your eyes briefly glance at Gojo, and you notice his gaze is tracing the cat’s path. 
“My—” you start, hesitant all of a sudden by the vulnerability you already feel swelling within you, most definitely due to sitting with someone on a rooftop late at night, but you decide that you’ll be nice to him for once, “…my mom seems to remember you a lot. More than she remembers me.” You let out a small humoring laugh, as if that fact doesn’t completely destroy you. “She was blabbering to me again for the seventh time about how you apparently fixed our AC.” You try to bite your tongue, but can’t help it when you say, “although I’m pretty sure you just pressed a bunch of buttons until it started working again.”
“Yup. That’s exactly what I did.”
You roll your eyes and sigh.
Another awkward silence.
“Can I ask you a question?” you say.
“Sure.” His voice sounds deeper, like he’s sleepy. 
“Why did you agree to marry me? That’s not something people just do out of nowhere.”
He glances over at you, and you flicker your eyes to him. “Why? Having regrets?” he teases, with a slight nudge of his elbow to your side. 
“Just answer me.”
He lifts his palms up from behind him and leans forward, placing his hands on his knees instead. “I don’t know. If something I could do would help someone out that much, I wasn’t going to say no.”
You hum quietly, still confused by his intentions. But you’re too jaded to question them.
“It costs nothing to be nice,” he adds. 
You run soothing circles over your thigh through the fabric of your jeans. For some reason, your mind wanders to Choso. Thinking of all the years you wasted staying with him even though you knew his affections were long gone, just because you didn’t want to break his heart. Only to realize that you never had that privilege in the first place. 
“I think,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper as you draw your knees closer to your chest, “that sometimes it does.”
A gust of autumn wind breezes by, ruffling the trees that the two of you are at eye-level with at the moment. You're pretty sure you’ve completely lost Gojo’s interest at this point, where he’s finally too tired to deal with your oddly cryptic attitudes and overall generally displeasing vibe, assuming this based solely on his prolonged silence beside you. You’re ready for him to get up and abandon you here on this roof, left to ponder every single thing you’ve done wrong in your life. It was any second now.
“Sometimes,” he instead speaks up, and it’s so surprising to you that you jolt a little bit, “you can do everything right, and people will still find a way to fuck you over. But I don’t think that’s any reason to stop being nice to others.”
You glance over at him, your eyes widening slightly, but he just continues to peer off straight into the night. His blinks are slow, lingering on being closed for a moment before he opens them again, and you’re mesmerized by the sight. The skin under his eyes is slightly dark from exhaustion, heavy with character that makes you aware that he’s just a person too. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, you realize that he’s—…handsome. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, your heart flutters in your chest.
He scoffs suddenly and dusts his hands off. “I sound like a fucking youth pastor.” He lets out an exhale before suddenly standing up onto his feet before you can think more on it. He looks off into the night again and lets out another exhale that sounds more like a sigh this time. “God, it’s getting a lot colder these days. Might have to start running the heater.”
You blink up at him with no commentary to add. 
He looks down at you. His face is relaxed, but you can tell those eyes are distracted. A shimmering blue ocean in its own world while he attempts to stay present in this one. 
He holds his hand out to you, and you stare at it blankly like you’ve got no clue what he intends for you to do with it. But you finally take the hint and curl your hand around his palm so that he can pull you up onto your feet too.
You stumble a little, falling forward from the sudden blood flow to your brain, but he holds you steady by the strong grip of his hands on your elbows. He’s close to you, close enough to where you can smell the faint lingering scent of his cologne. Something different than that expensive one he wore to the courthouse, but it’s comforting somehow. A fragrance that’s more him. And you feel nervous as you look up at him underneath pale moonlight. 
He lets go of your elbows. You feel cold from the loss of his touch. But his right hand moves to gently hold your left hand in his palm, holding it curled as his thumb barely grazes the stone you wear on your ring finger; the one he gave you.
The way his thumb prods at the silver band is like he’s inspecting its quality, as if it has to pass some test to be worthy of sitting on your finger. Or maybe just any finger, if you were to quell the delusion. You’re not sure if he’s satisfied with his inspection.
“Where did you get it—” you blurt out.
His gaze flickers up to your face briefly before he’s back to examining the ring. “It was my mom’s.”
Your mouth gapes slightly in shock, heart dropping a little in your chest, and all of a sudden you feel guilty. Guilty that he put his mother’s ring on your finger for something that was fake, something that was essentially a business deal, something exchanged to you out of fraud when it was a precious family heirloom that should be exchanged with love. And maybe he didn’t care about it much, some people don’t care about the sentiments of objects. But your mind thinks of the oaky vintage dresser in his room, so out of place in the aesthetic of its surroundings, a decision you can only imagine him of all people, mr. “everything in this house has to look like an IKEA catalog”, would do if the dresser held some importance to him that was more than meets the eye. And so you’re compelled to think that maybe this ring did, too. 
“Why would you give me this?! You could’ve just gotten a cheap fake diamond ring from a pawn shop and called it a day,” you ask him, suddenly feeling burdened by it.
“Well I wasn’t exactly given much time to think of other options.”
“But—” you start, only to realize you have no counter arguments for that.
He lets out a huh noise, like the sound someone makes when they’re pleasantly surprised by something, as he looks down at your hand that he still held in his. “It’s kinda crazy that it fits you perfectly. I wasn’t sure.”
Your mind wanders to when he slipped the ring onto your finger in the courtroom, followed by the kiss. Soft, sweet, the lingering warm sensation of his palm on your cheek as he cupped your face, the same way those heartthrob actors do in all those romance movies and kdramas that you watch on Friday nights while snuggled up in a blanket, wondering when anyone will ever kiss you like that. You remember the ghost sensation of his hand hovering over the small of your back, fingers lightly grazing the nape of your neck, his frame blocking out everything around you as he kissed you, just to pull away and for the two of you to then pretend like it never happened, as if it wasn’t one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever known.
You slowly pull your hand out of his, the moment feeling too tender for your liking, and you clear your throat before flitting your eyes up to his. 
“Rule #1,” you remind him with a soft whisper, “no touching.”
You purse your lips, watching his round eyes blink once, then twice, before he shoves his hands in his suit pockets. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a few seconds, nodding slowly in submission, and then he turns on them to head back to the house. You’re standing a little stunned from the abrupt ending to this trance of a moment on the roof, and you’re also a little surprised with how your chest is heaving a little bit with fast breaths, but you eventually snap out of it to follow him inside too. 
You two make it back inside the house, with little words exchanged. You pretend to not notice the way Gojo tilts his head at his desk, like he’s confused about why it looks tidier than when he left it. You’re prepared to feign innocence or ignorance, but he doesn’t press you about it. 
“Y’know,” he says from behind you, his chest briefly brushing against the back of your head as he pushes the bedroom door in front of you open so that you can head out into the loft, “those oversized 1800s-esque nightgowns you’ve been wearing around the house kinda make you look like a less-hot version of Ebenezer Scrooge.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
•┈┈┈••✦☽✦••┈┈┈•
“Sign right here for me, sir.”
You watch as the nurse slides the papers across the high-raised counter of the hospice nursing desk towards Gojo, his eyebrows narrowing as his eyes skim the words on the paper and land at the highlighted lines where he’s been intended to sign. You feel nervous for some reason, as if he’d suddenly find something disagreeable and refuse to sign, then take you to the courthouse first thing to finalize a divorce and send you off to prison while claiming he was blackmailed into the whole marriage in the first place.
Instead, he pulls a pen from the chest pocket of his suit jacket, clicking the end of it and scribbling his signature onto the paper with some jet black ink that looks like it takes a second to dry. How pretentious of him. The pink pom-pom pen was right there.
The nurse behind the counter continues to chat with him about something, blah blah dependents, blah blah tax claims, blah blah you’ll receive an itemized bill in the mail. You’re trying your best to eavesdrop in on the conversation, but most of your senses are being occupied by examining all your surroundings. When you dropped your mother off at the hospice, your feelings were at the forefront of conscience, but now that you’ve had a couple days to come down from that overwhelming emotional high, you’re here to scope out the quality of this place you’ve just dumped your mom at.
The facility is clean and sleek, with a color theme of red and an ocean blue across the signs, the furniture, even with the paperwork they hand out. All the workers had color-coded scrubs based on their occupation or specialty, and none of them had stains on the fabric. You take a glance down at the modest leather pumps you were wearing past the creases of the long skirt, and notice that the floor was shimmering off their reflection in a perfect polish. It wasn’t bad, this place.
“Thanks, you too,” you hear Gojo say to the nurse behind the counter. He has a professional smile on his face, but still kind and genuine, which makes the woman at the computer something bashful and unable to make eye contact. He folds something that looks like a receipt into his chest pocket before tucking his pen back in there too and then turns to face you. You make a mental note to pay him back for whatever he just paid for, at least once you move some money around. 
Your eyebrows lift, feeling a little dazed as you blink at him blankly.
“Alright,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets, the sound of his shoes on the polished hospital floors satisfactorily tapping in your ears as he took a couple steps towards you, “where’s your mom’s room?”
“Huh?”
“What’s her room number?” he asks you.
“Y-You wanna go see her??”
“Of course I want to,” he says, “she’s my mother-in-law.”
You roll your eyes and pet the fabric of your skirt to smooth the wrinkles out. “You’re getting a little too invested in this role of fake husband.”
“I get to annoy you all day and ride the adrenaline rush of committing a federal crime,” he says, “of fucking course I’d get invested.”
You sigh, tossing some of your hair to behind your shoulder before glancing up at the signs, squinting slightly to locate the ward where your mother’s room is, before you hear an extremely high-pitched and somewhat catty feminine voice call out from behind you. You glance at Gojo’s face as he peers off to whoever’s behind you, and you see him visibly stiffen a little.
“Is that Dayton county’s sexiest realtooorrr???” the voice purrs, and you turn on your heel to see a blonde bombshell of a woman clacking her kitten heels down the glistening floors of the hospice, with another brunette bombshell just a few paces behind her. Bombshell #2 sighs something like “it issss” before they walk right up to your fake husband and take turns at giving him a playful squeeze of his bicep. You have to physically stop your jaw from dropping at the sight. 
“Wow! Ladies, so–...so great to see you two,” he says out of polite obligation, and you immediately clock the fact that he doesn’t address them by name.
Bombshell #1 turns to look at you, all of her hair moving as one solid entity with the motion from all the hair spray that’s probably holding it up, and she points at you with a long slender finger that narrows into a french-tip. “Oh who’s this?? Another one of your clients??”
“Oh, no, she’s my–”
“I’m his wife,” you interrupt him, irritated for some reason. 
Both the women chirp something out like oh! before their faces twist with confusion. 
“I didn’t know you were married,” Bombshell #2 says in a thick New Jersey accent.
Gojo lifts his left hand up, the silver band on his hand glimmering under fluorescent hospice lighting. “Very happily,” he says, as if someone was holding a gun to his head.
Bombshell #1 crosses her arms, and you try not to stare at how nice her boobs look in the low scoop-neck jaguar print top she was wearing. You were no better than a man. And now you’re pissed off at the idea of Gojo glancing down too, but a flick of your gaze up to his face tells you he’s safe. For now. 
“You weren’t married when I asked you if you were a month ago,” Bombshell #1 sneers at him. It’s true, the math wouldn’t make sense, but in his defense, this marriage was a fraud.
“Or when you took me out for dinner last week after I bought my house,” Bombshell #2 snarls with an undertone of hurt. 
Gojo clears his throat beside you before pointing at Bombshell #2. “How is that, by the way?” he asks in an attempt to change the subject, “the half acre down on Maple Ave, right? You, uh, enjoying the pool?”
The woman let out an offended scoff and–were her eyes sheening with tears?? She puts her hands on her hips. “No. Mine is the three bedroom house with the cedar gazebo on 14th street.”
Her friend next to her rolls her eyes and smacks her gum between her cheek. “I’m the one that bought the half acre down on Maple Ave, jerk. Ugh!” She grabs her friend’s arm with a high-pitched hmph noise leaving her throat, and you can hear the other one sniffling subtly as she wobbles on her heels with her friend’s pull of her arm. 
Right before leaving the two of you alone, Bombshell #1 turns to you and says, “I hope you find someone who treats you better,” and then they storm off together down the hallway, their perfectly blow-dried hair bouncing in sync with each stomp.
You blink at the sight, a little flabbergasted from the interaction, and then flit your faze up to Gojo. You see him awkwardly scratching at the back of his head with a grimace on his stupidly handsome face. 
“That’s what you get for being a manwhore,” you tell him.
“I’m not a manwhor–”
“You went on a date with another woman while you were maaaaarrrieeeddd?!” you coo as you let out a fake gasp and slap your cheeks with your hands, “despicable, really.”
He lets out some disgruntled noise, the source coming from deep within his throat. “No. We weren’t fake-married yet,” he vindicates himself, “and it wasn’t a date. I just bought her dinner as a congrats for buying a house. Not a big deal. I do it for all my clients.”
“Satoru. You do realize you’re leading these women on, right? I mean, I’ve seen the way you talk to them. Even if you think you’re just being friendly, please know that your definition of friendly is most people’s definition of flirting.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s true.”
He raises an eyebrow as he glances down at you. “Alright, how come this flirting in disguise of friendliness hasn’t worked on you then?”
You scoff in disbelief before crossing your arms. Maybe you did deserve a better fake husband. “You’re never friendly with me. You’re always rude to me.”
“What? I’m not always rude to you.”
“Well, you’re certainly much more rude to me than you are to other women,” you say, tapping the tip of your shoe with irritation.
“Can we not do this right now? We’re in the middle of a hospice.” 
“God, you’re such a cop-out,” you mumble as you forcefully push past him towards the hallway that’ll lead you to your mother. You can hear that Gojo’s on your tail, following you down one of the more dimly lit hallways, and you can tell he needs to stall the strides of his Daddy Longlegs to not overtake your pace.
“What the fuck is a cop-out?” he asks you from behind.
“Look it up on urban dictionary, Grandpa. Unless you don’t know what the Internet is, either,” you spat. 
You waltz right up to your mother’s room just in time to see a nurse making her way out with a clipboard in her hands. She glances over to you when she sees you approaching in her periphery.
“Hi! How can I help you?” she asks.
“Is it alright if we visit my mother?” you ask her.
“Oh! Sure, let me just clean her bed pan really quick.”
Your brow furrows. “B-Bedpan?? Why is she using a bedpan??”
The nurse stops in her movements. “Well, yesterday and today, that’s just what she has decided to use.”
You immediately become hostile. “That’s not right. She never needed to use one at home. Why is she suddenly using one here? Is that not a clear sign of deterioration? The restrooms must not be kept well enough here if she doesn’t want to use them.”
The nurse becomes something meek, her eyes widening as her mouth gapes slightly. “Ma’am,” she squeaks out, “we see this commonly with patients as they begin to adjust to hospice life. We’ll urge her to use the restroom, but as of right now, we need to prioritize what she finds most comfortable.”
Your expression softens, your shoulders relaxing from their tense position, and you duck your head a little with guilt. “Right…I’m sorry.”
The nurse presses her lips together with a well-meaning smile before shuffling into the room and closing the door behind her. You sigh and lean your back against the wall next to the number plate, cheeks flushing slightly from the confrontation. You have no idea how loud your voice was or who heard you. But you try to convince yourself that you’re just stressed and trying to look out for your mother, although the guilt still sits.
You glance up to see Gojo staring at you with slightly wide eyes, his hands shoved into his pockets, and he tilts his head to study your expression.
“What?” you snap at him.
“Are you doing okay?”
“Just fine, thanks.”
“Are you sure?”
“Satoru,” you cut his questioning off by raising a palm into the air, “just—…just stop.”
His brow furrows together slightly, but before he can show any further concern, the nurse exits the room and holds the door open for the two of you. 
“All set!” she chirps, and Gojo moves to hold the door open in her stead, and then the nurse bolts down to disappear somewhere down the hallway.
You hear Gojo let out a small huff of a scoff as he stares down in the direction the nurse ran off in. “Glad to know I’m not the only one that’s scared of you.”
You roll your eyes and walk into the room through the open door.
Your mother lays in her bed, looking out the window with her hands resting on top of layers of white linen sheets, her skin looking slightly paler than usual. You approach her bedside slowly and she finally turns her head to look at you.
“Hi mom,” you gently greet her, sitting down on the stool beside her bed, “how are you doing?”
Her eyes dart across the features of your face, and you briefly glance towards the wall to the right where you see Gojo standing from a slight distance.
“Oh, hi dear,” she says with a smile, and relief washes over you.
You match her smile with your own. “Mom, I brought someone here to see you.” You glance over at Gojo, who starts to close distance now as he approaches the foot of the bed, “this is Satoru, my husband.”
Your mother’s eyes widen, “Oh! I know him,” she scoldingly swats a hand at you, like you’ve embarrassed her somehow by assuming that she doesn’t know who he is, “he’s my neighbor!”
You sigh, “yes mom, the one that fixed the A/C?” You attempt to finish her sentence for her.
She looks confused for a moment, but slightly nods as if to avoid any further confusion for herself. “But—…but, why…” she trails off and then looks at you, “I’m sorry, are you my nurse?”
Your shoulders drop slightly. “No, mom, it’s me. Your daughter. Do you remember?”
Her face scrunches before it entirely relaxes to keep some image of composure despite the haze you know she feels in her head. “Oh…yes, yes…my little girl. I remember you, of course!”
Your eyes become layered with a slight sheen of tears, “I’m glad.”
“Where’s your father?” she asks, “he said he’d bring me some…oh dear, what—…he said he’d bring me tea. I’ve been waiting.”
“Mom, dad is—” you pause for a moment to think on your feet. You could either tell the truth, or a little white lie. You never know what to do. And either one comes with either guilt or sorrow. “Well, he’ll be here soon, I just wanted to come see you.”
“Oh okay…” she trails off, her eyes squinting at you once more with that same look of confusion on it, but then they drift towards Gojo. “Oh you’re a very handsome young man! You look just like my neighbor.”
Your eyes flicker up to Gojo, and he walks up to your side by your mom’s bed. “Yes, Mrs. l/n, I am your neighbor.”
“With the lemon tree!”
“The avocado tree,” you correct her with a small sigh. “And he’s my husband mom. And also our neighbor.”
“Oh I see I see…” she says, looking up at him, and in a moment that shocks you, she holds her hand up for him to take.
There’s a slight moment of surprise on his face too, but he accepts her frail hand in his, and you glance over to your mom to see her look at him with some look of peace on her face.
“Oh, sit down here, won’t you?” she tells him, and you both blink at her in a moment of hesitation.
He pulls a stool up to the side of the bed right next to you and takes a seat down onto it. Your mother holds his hand with both of hers now, soothing her palm over the back of it before she taps on it lightly.
“Oh, my little girl is very sweet. She would bring me flowers from the garden when she was,” she glances at you, confused once more, “well I remember her when she was so little but she looks…a little older now. Ah, but she would bring me such pretty flowers.”
Your heart aches in your chest. You never knew what version of you your mother would remember. Some days, you’re still supposed to be an angsty teenager that shuts doors in her face, some days you were just as you are right now, and other days, you were just her little girl. And it confused her, the image of not seeing you in the way that she remembers. In the only way she knew how.
“You’ll take good care of my sweet girl, won’t you?” she asks him.
And it knocks the wind out of you.
It drops your heart to the center of the earth.
The thought that, after so many moments where she doesn’t remember you, she still knows that you’re someone she wants to keep safe.
Your mouth gapes slightly, tears welling in your eyes and you try your best to blink them away, but you see Gojo’s hand slip out from being held by your mother’s hands, to instead use both of his to hold hers. Your eyes snap to his face, and you see that same earnest expression you’ve been growing used to seeing these days. 
“Yes,” he responds, eye contact level with hers, “I will.”
A small puff of air leaves your lips, a single tear streaming down your cheek and you quickly swipe your trembling fingers to remove any evidence of it before you huff out a shaky, “excuse me.” And then you’re standing up off the stool, and in a few hurried steps across the room as more tears continue to stream down your face, you make it to the door to push out into the suffocating air of the hallway.
It’s hard to breathe, huffs and puffs barely leaving your lips as you struggle to pull air into your lungs while you storm down the hallway at a fast pace, your heels clicking underneath you in a way that only sets you off further. Suddenly, all the sounds around you make you sick to your stomach, a wave of nausea washing over you, and your nose burns with the intensity of the tears that continue to stream down your face. A few hospice staff look at you with concerned expressions, and you eventually reach a heavy-duty door that leads you out into a secluded staircase hallway where the dim lighting serves to relax at least some of your senses, but you still feel like you’re about to pass out.
Even in the haze of your emotions, there’s this glimmer of a memory that comes to mind. One from when you were younger and you were pushed on the playground at school. You cried and cried and cried in your mother’s arms, but even then, you didn’t want her to baby you. You would say to her, I’m a big girl now! in that same way a child knows nothing of what it truly means to brave the world. 
That little girl had no idea that one day, there would be moments where she wouldn’t be remembered as her mother’s little girl anymore. 
No matter how old you grow, you will always be my little girl, your mother’s voice echoes to you, the feeling of her squeezing you in her arms as she holds your sobbing little form in hers casting a ghost sensation across your skin.
In a mother’s eyes, you’ll always be her baby.
And that’s why it hurts.
Because it’s all fake.
It’s phony.
It’s not real.
This arrangement you have with Gojo.
And if your mother were to die tomorrow, there would be no one to take care of her little girl anymore.
Not in the way she believes there will be.
Of all the white lies, this one pierces you straight through your heart in a way that leaves you gasping for air.
Amidst your whirlwind of thoughts, you hear the door push open harshly, and when you glance over, you see Gojo standing in this dimly lit hallway as he turns his head quickly to the left and sees you standing there.
“Hey,” he says, catching his breath as he lightly jogs up to you, “hey, hey, hey,” he repeats with more concern now when he sees the state you’re in, and he seamlessly pulls you into a hug, your cheek pressing against his chest that feels warm even through the fabric of his suit jacket and shirt, and that familiar scent of him completely engulfs you.
You sob quietly, wiping your snot on his tie and your tears on the felt fabric beside it, your hands balled into tiny fists at your chest, squeezed between the two of you. You feel him tuck your head under his chin and his arms wrap around you tighter. You don’t even realize it at first, but suddenly, it has become easier to breathe.
Then, you wail, and you cry, and you sob, because you don’t have the words to even explain how you feel, about not just this, but with everything, a buildup of everything that has been suffocating you in your life that just comes crashing down on you all at once.
“I know,” he says, his palm resting on the back of your head as he holds your face to his chest, his voice soothing in your ears while you sob until there’s nothing left to cry. “I know.”
You two stay like this for another minute or so as you come down from the cries, your remnant sniffling echoing in the hallway while you wipe more of your snot on his jacket. You make the first move to pull your face away from his chest, but he still keeps his arms wrapped around you when you look up at him.
With your gaze darting across his face, you take in the blue in his eyes. Eyes that are looking at you so softly it’s suddenly hard to breathe once more. And when those eyes flit to your lips, your mouth parts slightly as you two breathe in unison.
It’s possible that you could have dreamed the moment you saw him lean down slightly towards you, his eyes still set on your lips, but it didn’t matter because you’re pushing him away with strong fists before you can even register the thought in your head.
He lets go of you entirely, his eyes wide once more, and you glance down at your feet. 
A tender moment, just like on the roof, broken just because you can’t handle that—…that way, that intense way that he looks at you. New rule, no looking at me longingly like you want to kiss me. I won’t allow it.
“I want to go home,” you whisper, still examining your shoes. And you suddenly feel embarrassed that he had to see you this way. He’s supposed to be scared and intimidated by you, not holding you in his arms while you cry. 
He’s silent for a moment, but you can tell he’s searching for things to say. “You don’t want to say bye to your mom before we go?”
You swipe your palm against the wetness on your cheek. “No. I just want to go home.”
“y/n,” he tried to convince you.
You finally look up at him. “Please.”
He breathes in a few breaths as he studies the features of your face in a way that makes you feel so seen that it’s frightening. But he slowly nods, then says,
“Okay.”
.
.
.
.
.
[end of chapter 4]
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a/n. hi friendsss i hope you enjoyed :'') yea like i said at the a/n in the beginning, this chapter is a slight off-tangent from last chapter, but ch5 will continue with a lot of the stuffs that were brought up in ch3. but yea i wanted to explore the whole process of emotions reader would go through putting her mom in hospice, since it kinda felt like a big thing, hence why it got its own chapter. aaa i hope to see you in the next one!! much love from me :''0
➸ take me to chapter five!
note: please do not ask me for updates or when i will next update (read rules)
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@sxnkuna @billiondollarworth @fallintothechasm @mavvsmm @satorubluu
@ricaliscious @satxoru @oyaoya-bungeegum @satowooo @samistars
@ifartmangos @andeverden @13-09-01 @lindyloomoo @tvdumarvelhpsimp
note: i’m starting to transition towards tagging interacts to make sure i’m tagging active readers! but as always let me know if/when your taglist preferences change :)
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mghospital · 2 years ago
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Best Heart Specialist in Narasaraopet | Mahathma Gandhi Hospital
Cardiologists at Mahathma Gandhi Hospital diagnose and treat a wide range of heart conditions including coronary heart disease, Atherosclerosis, Aortic Stenosis, acquired and inherited arrhythmias, acquired and inherited cardiomyopathy, high blood cholesterol and triglycerides, heart attacks, chest pain, angina, valvular heart disease, pulmonary hypertension, pericarditis, peripheral vascular disease, heart failure, restrictive and hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, supraventricular tachycardia, ventricular tachycardia and congenital heart disease.
The department of cardiology has the best cardiologists, technology, facilities and support staff who are committed to providing care encompassing all aspects of cardiac care – preventive, diagnostic and therapeutic. Our cardiology department caters to all the subspecialties of cardiology including diagnostic, interventional, non-invasive, and surgical.
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The skilled healthcare personnel at Mahathma Gandhi Hospital provide the below-listed services for patients.
Open heart surgery
Heart transplant
Heart bypass surgery
Angioplasty surgery
Heart stent surgery
CABG surgery
Sclerotic aortic valve
Transcatheter aortic valve replacement
TAVR surgery
TAVI surgery
Cardiothoracic and vascular surgery
Cardiothoracic Surgery
The department of cardiothoracic surgery at Mahathma Gandhi Hospital has the most advanced setup with top-notch facilities. The team comprises cardiothoracic and vascular surgeons and paediatric cardiothoracic surgeons who perform adult cardiac surgery, general thoracic surgery, congenital cardiac surgery and heart transplant surgery. Our senior consultant cardiothoracic surgeons, trained cardiologists, nurses and cardiac rehabilitation specialists provide support to patients during their pre-operative and post-operative needs.
Paediatric Cardiothoracic Surgery
Paediatric cardiothoracic surgeons perform congenital heart defect corrective surgeries to treat or fix the defect. To ensure the long-term health or well-being of the child, corrective surgery is needed. Our paediatric cardiothoracic surgeons perform Atrial septal defect (ASD), Ventricular septal defect (VSD), coarctation of the aorta repair, patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) ligation, hypoplastic left heart repair, Total anomalous pulmonary venous return (TAPVR) correction, tricuspid atresia repair, truncus arteriosus repair, transposition of the great vessels repair and tetralogy of Fallot repair.
For Appointment:
Call: 08647-230 007, 230008
Visit: https://mahathmagandhihospitals.com/service/cardiology/
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n0thingiscool · 2 years ago
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Illiterate and/or Shit Spirited Americans VS. The "Free" Market
Shitty Illiterate Americans: The free market works the best. Private companies provide better services than public owned services.
Private Health Insurance: Nah. We aren't going to cover your cancer.
Shitty Illiterate Americans: Trust the free market.
Private Renter's Insurance: Nah. We aren't going to cover the flood that your slumlord didn't prepare you for. Everything you own is a loss.
Shitty Illiterate Americans: Tell the libs they're commies for wanting market regulation.
Baby Formula Companies: lol fuck your baby.
Shitty Illiterate Americans: You aren't a patriot if you don't trust private companies are working for your best interest.
Southwest Airlines: Hah! Fuck every single one of you who had booked a plane ticket with us in the month of December. We are cancelling every single flight and you might have to sue us to get your money back but you sure as hell won't get the value of your time we wasted back.
Shitty Illiterate Americans: We honestly have no fucking clue what free market capitalism is. We also don't understand how government works. Either way fuck you for not trusting the free market.
UPS: Oh you all paid $120 for next day air? Go fuck yourself. We'll get it to you in seven days and then harass you when you try to get your money back. Not to mention have zero concern with how we fucked your delivery timing over.
Shitty Illiterate Americans: You don't deserve it if you can't afford it. You clearly didn't work hard enough to please the free market. That's why capitalism is so great.
Pharmaceutical Companies: Oh hey. So a couple things: 1) The medical research that was publicly funded is now ours. We're going horde it away from the public/those who need it. 2) We're jacking up medicine costs. Medicines that cost a penny to make will be inflated to $1200 a dose. Don't expect insulin to be accessible. Basically, if you're not cutting someone's throat to make money then you don't deserve your dosage. If you can't pay us $1200 per dose then your life has no value. Go die.
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In conclusion - as bad as predatory companies are - illiterate shitty Americans are the root of the problem.
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urie · 2 years ago
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my sister would have wanted me to politicize her death so that is exactly what i will do here.
on december 28th, my sister went to the hospital due to severe abdominal pain that she attributed to a UTI. they did a CT scan and found a 14cm tumor. they diagnosed her with stage 4 ovarian cancer and told her to start seeing specialists. for reasons unbeknownst to me, they didn't do a biopsy, or even attempt to schedule one for her, and she went home.
she spent the next 5 weeks being turned in circles by various specialists. the first oncologist told her that she would be fine, that she was young (only 42) and otherwise healthy, and she "wasn't going anywhere anytime soon." however, she could not afford the biopsy that was needed at the time, because she didn't have insurance. the out of pocket cost was too high, and there wasn't an option to be billed later.
these oncologists told her that her best bet was to quit her job and apply for medicaid in order to receive care, but my sister was a normal everyday person living paycheck to paycheck, and that was an impossible request. even if she did quit her job, she would still need to wait to be approved by medicaid.
she called my father on friday, in tears because she was just told by the hospital that she needed to come up with $800 upfront for a PET scan, a 20% downpayment. he had to scrounge up the money to pay for the scan himself.
on monday morning, she woke up with abdominal pain, vomiting, and loss of bowel control. she decided to stay home from work, something she never did, and her roommate offered to stay home with her in order to look after her.
her response: "no, we can't afford for both of us to miss work. i'll just take a shower and go back to sleep."
he came home and she was dead. 5 weeks after diagnosis. she was told she had years but she had a matter of days.
this was her final post on facebook, 2 days before she died. this is literally just the reality of how healthcare works in this country. and she'd want people to know that.
she was a good person doing what was expected of her, she was proactive and aggressive trying to get care, and this is what happened to her. no one gave her care, or tried to help her understand her diagnosis. they just would pat her on the back and say she was going to be fine, without knowing anything, and while refusing to find out.
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me-loving-woso · 7 months ago
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Today. Tomorrow.
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Author's note: Hi everyone! So I know I've been MIA for several months. But I'm back! This fic will be divided into 3 parts cause I've realized that I can't write a short one-shot. In no way am I an expert in medicine. The information is from Greys Anatomy and the internet. I apologise in advance if I offend anyone Summary: You never thought you'd find love under these circumstances, but sometimes, love works in mysterious ways. For you, it came in the form of Aitana Bonmatí.
TW: Illness, Cancer, Surgery, Happy Ending
You've just returned to Barcelona after being away due to your job. You were an art restorer and had established a small company with some friends from university. While you specialized in medieval and Renaissance art, your three partners specialized in Japanese art, antique jewelry, and ancient Egyptian art. Your company's diverse expertise made you wanted all around the world. 
Although managing such a company and traveling extensively at 26 was demanding, you wouldn't trade it for anything. You loved your job and your colleagues, who were also your best friends. Supporting each other through thick and thin made this life worthwhile for you.
That morning, you were driving to your next job. FC Barcelona, yes, the football club wanted you to restore and polish their trophies. They were meticulous about their trophies, and despite the unnecessary level of care, they requested your services every year to maintain them. It was lucrative work with minimal effort. Even though you weren't specialized in that type of restoration, you were willing to assist your colleague and friend with the task since you had little else to do.
As you parked near the Barcelona training grounds, about to pull up the parking brake, you heard an unpleasant sound, like glass breaking, from the back of your car. You hoped it wasn't what you feared. Taking a deep breath, you checked the other side of your car, hoping it was just your imagination. But as soon as you saw the damage and a small woman approaching you with a mortified expression, you knew the worst had happened. She had hit your car. This couldn't have happened at a worse time.
Walking up to the culprit, you were angry. She was about to speak, but you cut her off. "Sorry, miss. How many fingers am I holding up?" You politely showed her two fingers.
Looking baffled, she replied, "Two?"
"Oh, so you have eyes!" you retorted sarcastically. "I guess an SUV right in front of you was too small for you to see." Your anger was palpable.
"I'm so sorry. I-I was overthinking and didn't turn the handlebar all the way to the right," she stammered apologetically. You could see she was genuinely sorry, but in that moment, you didn't care.
"They should revoke your driver's license. You're a menace," you said, crossing your arms and returning to your car. Taking out the accident report, you said, "Let's fill out the accident report so I can be done with you." She nodded sadly and helped you complete the report.
You knew you were being unfair to her. Stuff happens, but this one was the final straw for you.
As you started filling out the report, you noticed her coming back towards you. Despite her being attractive and all, you were too mad to give a damn. Once you wrapped up your part, you handed her the report to fill out while you rang up your insurance company.
After a couple of minutes of you dialing your mechanic and finishing off the paperwork, you said goodbye to the lady and headed to the Barcelona training grounds.
While you were hanging around, you checked out all the team photos with the trophy. The left side had all the guys' photos, with Messi and the 2009 team, while the right side was all about Barcelona Femeni. Your father was a die-hard Barcelona fan; back in the day, you'd go to some games with him. But when you hit high school, you kinda lost interest in football.
As you spotted last year's Ballon d'Or picture, you suddenly recognized her, which made you laugh out loud. You had just had a small car accident with none other than the Ballon d'Or winner, Aitana Bonmatì.
You thought she looked familiar, but it didn’t really click at the time. Well, at least she's better with her feet than with a steering wheel.
When Eva finally showed up at the training grounds, you rushed over to her.
"Hey Y/n, how's it going?" she greeted.
"I'm good. Some car bumped into me about ten minutes ago, but I'm all right."
"Wait what?!" Eva exclaimed, shocked. Since she found out about your condition and all, she's been super protective. "Are you sure you're okay? Do I need to go all out on someone?"
"The damage ain't that bad. And you'll never guess who I had the run-in with."
You pointed at Aitana's photo on the wall. "Aitana Bonmatì?" Eva asked, puzzled.
"Yep."
"Well, at least she's better at kicking a ball than driving a car."
"That's what I was thinking!" you said, pumped. "Now let's get down to business."
A couple of guys from the club gave you the grand tour and hooked you up with a whole room to work in. You offered to take the trophies back to your lab, but they were set on leaving them there.
As you got everything set up, just as you were about to dive in, the bearded dude was heading out. "Just a heads up, the squad might swing by to check out your work. You know, for Instagram and stuff. Don't sweat it; it won't take too long." You gave a hesitant nod, gearing up for your first trophy. 
"Imagine if Aitana walks in here with all her teammates!" Eva quips jokingly as the two guys leave you alone. "I'd pay to see her face when she realizes it's you," she chuckles.
"I think it's the men's team. Otherwise, they would've said it," you comment, preparing your materials.
"How was meeting her?" Eva asks eagerly. She's a big fan of the women's side.
"I didn't even recognize her. I was kinda harsh, actually," you chuckle.
"Luck hasn't been on your side lately, with the car and all," she replies sadly.
"Yeah," you say, feeling a wave of emotions you'd rather not deal with. You shake it off and force a smile. "Let's focus on making some good money. I'd love to have jobs like this every day!"
You start working on Champions League and La Liga trophies. There's a lot, and as the hours pass, you feel even more exhausted.
After a couple of hours, the guy from earlier shows up. "So, the team's about to arrive. Is it okay if we film you?"
Eva looks at you, waiting for your response. "Only if I get some free advertising out of it."
He thumbs up. "I'll tag you in the story."
"You better!" you playfully retort, returning to polishing the 2005 men's Champions League trophy. You fake a smile and wait for the team to arrive.
As soon as you hear female voices, you glance at Eva and chuckle. She whispers a "I told you so" and gets back to work.
When they come in, you make eye contact with Aitana. Her smile turns to shock, then mortification. It takes all your willpower not to laugh. Out of all the people in Barcelona, she had to be the one to hit your car?
You quickly present your work, using fancy words you rarely use and explaining all the procedures. Aitana never comes near you, which makes you feel a bit sorry for her.
Once the cameras stop rolling, some of the players ask you both questions. As they're about to leave, Aitana walks up to you, apologizing awkwardly.
"I'm sorry again."
"Don't worry about it. Let's start fresh, okay?" You offer your hand, and she shakes it, smiling.
"I didn't know you worked with trophies," she adds quickly, not wanting the conversation to end.
Now that the anger has passed, you actually look at her. She's one of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen, and you're a sucker for nose rings.
"I'm actually an art restorer for Renaissance art. I'm here to help my friend with this job."
"That's so cool!" She beams at you. "So, are you going to work on my Ballon d'Or trophy too?"
You glance at Eva, who nods slightly. "Yeah, but probably not until next week."
She looks at you hesitantly. "Can I be there? I mean, it's not that I don't trust you, but I'm just curious, that's all."
"Are you done rambling?" You chuckle lightly at her nervousness. She's probably still embarrassed about the accident.
"Yes, I am," she replies shyly, making you chuckle. There's something about her that draws you in, as if you were meant to be near each other.
"Of course, you can join us. It might be a bit dull for you though, since you're all about adrenaline during your football games."
"I'm just really curious, that's all. I won't bother you, I promise," she reassures you, still smiling.
"I don't think you could ever be a bother," you say before you can stop yourself, turning your head away.
"Well then, as a proper apology, can I bring you coffee tomorrow?" she offers.
"You don't have to, Aitana."
"I insist. How do you take your coffee?"
The next morning, you waited for Eva to pick you up for Barcelona's facilities. Since your car was at the mechanic's, she'd be giving you rides for at least a week. 
As soon as you arrived at the trophies, you got to work promptly.
"So, you think Aitana's actually gonna bring you coffee?" Eva smirks suggestively.
"I doubt it. She'll probably forget. And maybe she was just being polite," you reply, focusing on your task.
"Well, she was all smiles with you yesterday," Eva starts tentatively.
You turn to her, pausing your work. "What? What are you getting at?" you ask, eyebrows raised in exasperation.
"Maybe she wanted something more than your forgiveness. Like your attention, or an excuse to see you again," she smirks.
"You, Eva, have been reading too many romance novels lately," you chuckle, feeling defeated.
"Two is not too many!"
"We've only talked for fifteen minutes."
"Yet it was the first time I saw you smile in a month," she says, making you roll your eyes once again. You're certain Aitana was just being nice. But you can't deny she's cute. And kind. And nice.
"Eva, you know I can't," you say sadly.
"You deserve a shot at happiness too, you know."
"Yes, but I don't think a super hot football player is the answer."
"Well, maybe a super hot footballer isn't the solution, but I know one who promised you coffee," you turn your head towards the door. There she is, with three coffees on a tray, wearing a shy smile. You blush profusely, hoping she didn't overhear your conversation with Eva, but she seems unfazed, waiting for your acknowledgment.
You take a moment to compose yourself before removing your work gloves and standing up to greet her.
"Hi Aitana. Did you manage to park your car properly?" you tease.
"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" She hands you your coffee and then turns to Eva. "Well, I didn't know what kind of coffee you preferred, so I just brought you the most basic and likable."
Eva looks at her baffled; neither of you expected her to bring Eva coffee or to see her again. "Oh, thank you!" Eva responds before turning back to you, the absurdity of the situation evident in your wide eyes.
She takes a sip of her own coffee, then looks at the trophy you were just working on. "Have you already worked on ours?"
"We wanted to finish the men's trophies first, then do yours next week," you explain. Eva's phone rings, and she excuses herself to take the call, as it was a work call, leaving you and Aitana alone.
“It’s El Prado, I’ll be right back.” 
You sit back down to work, and she curiously comes around the table to your side to see what you're doing. "Don't you have practice today?" you ask.
"We have a rest day," she replies. "Your colleague said El Prado called her, like the museum?"
"Yeah, I have to go touch up some paintings, maybe next month? My schedule's really busy right now."
"You do paintings too?" she asks, surprised.
"I usually only do that. I'm just helping Eva with this job. These trophies are already well taken care of; they don't really need this much attention. But I have to say, LaPorta pays really well," you joke, trying to ease the tension. She chuckles lightly. She has a cute laugh, you think.
"Well, now I'll definitely tell LaPorta!" she jokes back.
"Don't you dare!"
You joke and chat for at least another fifteen minutes. There's something about her that makes your stomach flip in ways you definitely don't want it to. She's attentive, curious, and sweet. She's confident but never boastful, which you find refreshing. 
As the minutes pass, she gradually moves closer to you, coaxing you into letting her help with your work. You gently push her away, chuckling, telling her they don't pay her to restore trophies. But she doesn't budge. She grabs a pair of gloves, picks up her chair, and places it next to yours. She sits down, and you turn to her, wide-eyed at the proximity, but soon focus back on the trophy.
She tucks a loose hair lock behind your ear, asking for your attention. You turn to her, cheeks slightly flushed. "You're distracting me, Aitana."
"Maybe that is my intention," she smirks teasingly.
"Do you want me to lose my job?"
"It's not my fault you're easily distracted. I haven't done anything. I just sat next to you and put on some gloves," she raises an eyebrow.
"And that's more than enough," you utter to yourself.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing!" You reply hastily, but she smiles knowingly, as if she caught you saying something you shouldn't have.
You two stare at each other, like strangers trying to solve a puzzle on each other's faces. You can't quite figure her out. She's the best footballer in the world, yet she's so much more. Still, you feel drawn to her, as if you're meant to be there with her, and she with you. 
You're probably imagining things and being delusional. You blame it on your period. The silence fills the room, becoming suffocating. It's too intense, too much.
Thankfully, Eva enters the room, and you jump back into action, focusing on the trophy again, while Aitana stares at the floor.
You look at Eva, who's already sending you a big smirk, making you roll your eyes.
Aitana stands up and walks to the door. "I really have to go now. How about tomorrow?"
"What-" 
"Okay. Bye!" And she was already out.
You turn to Eva. “Did I miss something?” She asks.
“I don’t know. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
"So, the blood work came back," your doctor says, settling into his chair and opening your file. "You have anemia. Until your hemoglobin levels increase, we can't proceed with the therapy. I advise you to adjust your diet to include more iron and vitamin B12-rich foods. Also, consider taking some vitamin supplements."
You nod lightly, already mentally noting a trip to the drugstore. After a final visit from the doctor, you head home.
This week has been relatively relaxed compared to your previous ones in Italy. You've been working on an undemanding job with your best friend, which couldn't have gone better. Well, maybe it did. Every day this week, she brought you coffee and lingered for at least 15 minutes to chat with you. Even with her busy training schedule, she always made time to talk. You wouldn't discuss deep topics or your condition, but you appreciated how she listened and remained interested in your life.
Occasionally, she'd flash you that beautiful smile, tempting you to throw caution to the wind and kiss away all her smirks and grins.
That same morning, Eva was alone at the Barcelona training grounds because you were at the doctor's office. Around 9 AM, Aitana arrived, searching for you.
"Hi, Eva. Is Y/n here?" she asks.
"Y/n isn't here today. She had a doctor's appointment. Did she forget to tell you?" Eva replies.
Aitana's face falls into a kicked puppy expression. "She did. Anyway, I wanted to give her this." She hands Eva a bag. "It's game tickets. She mentioned she's never been to a Barcelona Femení game, and I wanted to change that. Can you please give them to her?"
Eva studies her, trying to gauge her intentions. "You like her, don't you?"
"What?" Aitana's taken aback, clearly not expecting those words.
"I get it. She's a wonderful person. And stubborn. Just don't hurt her; she's already going through enough," Eva warns.
Aitana nods lightly. "I hope to see you at the stadium this weekend. Bye!" With that, she leaves.
Two hours later, you return to work. 
"Hey!" you greet Eva.
"Hey! How was the appointment?"
"I have anemia, among other things, so I have to wait for it to get better before starting treatment."
"That sucks. But on the bright side, your footballer came by."
Damn. You were so wrapped up in conversation with her, and also distracted by her presence the day before, that you forgot to tell her you wouldn't be at work the next day.
"I forgot to let her know I wouldn't be here today," you admit.
"I figured. I saw the disappointment on her face when she didn't see you," Eva says, overly dramatic.
"You're being dramatic," you lightly blush.
"Maybe, but she cares about you."
"She's a good friend. It's no wonder everyone likes her."
"She could be more than a friend. I think she's—"
"Again, Eva. You know I can't! Besides, do you really think a girl like her would go for a girl like me?" With every interaction, your feelings for Aitana have grown. You're ignoring them, but you know they're there. Acting on them wouldn't be fair to her. But there's an inexplicable pull that you can't control.
"Y/n, you have qualities not everyone has. If it's a worthiness issue, it's all in your head." Eva hands you the bag Aitana left.
"You know I can't be in a relationship right now."
"Why?"
"You know why. It wouldn't be fair to her."
"Then stop giving her heart eyes. It's annoying, especially when I'm trying to work," Eva chuckles.
"It's not you she's trying to distract," you admit, blushing lightly. "And I don't give her heart eyes." You pout.
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," she comments ironically. "But I get it. You've never dealt well with hot women anyway. You're just playing it cool because you're still denying your feelings."
"Stop getting inside my head! Let's get back to work."
That night, you finally open the bag. Inside is an envelope with two tickets to Saturday's game against Atletico Madrid, along with a note.
"I hope you enjoy the game! Since I know you don’t have a jersey, I thought I’d give you one of my old ones."
You pull out the jersey, from last year with the Liga F patch. You subtly smell it, convincing yourself it's not weird. Her perfume lingers, but there's also a scent that inexplicably feels like hers.
The next morning, you wake up an hour early for work. You want to finish an be earlier to surprise Aitana and apologize. Knowing she has a physio appointment ending at 10 AM, you plan to surprise her with a macha latte, just as she did for you all week.
Waiting outside the physio building feels like a terrible idea, making you regret everything. As time passes and she doesn't emerge from the building, you were about to give up. But then, after what feels like centuries, she appears. The look on her face makes it all worth it. She walks quickly to you, still wearing a cute smile.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asks.
"I wanted to apologize. I forgot to tell you about yesterday." You hand her the macha. "Plus, this week, it's my turn." You both sit on a bench.
"Is everything okay? Eva mentioned you had a doctor's appointment," she inquired, causing your brain to pause for a moment.
"Uhm, yeah! Just some anemia, but otherwise, I'm good," you fib.
"That must be tough. My mom also has anemia, but fortunately, it's not that serious," she says, switching to a more excited tone. "So, are you coming to the game on Saturday?"
"Of course," you reply, grinning at her excitement.
"You know, since I gave you the tickets, you have to wear my jersey, or they won't let you in," she teases.
"Too bad, I was planning to wear my Putellas jersey. She's the best player on the team. Plus, I love the number 11," you try to rile her up. Her smile fades, and she's about to stand up when you put down your coffee and wrap your arms around her waist to keep her on the bench. "I'm kidding!"
She sits back down, crossing her arms childishly. "I want my jersey back."
You scoot closer to her, attempting to uncross her arms, but she's surprisingly strong. "Oh no. It was a gift. Besides, I think I can get used to the number 14." Finally, you manage to uncross her arms, and she takes your hand, intertwining it with hers. Your heart begins to race as you stare at your hands together. Her voice brings you back to reality.
"I'll show you who's the best."
"I have no doubt." With your free hand, you tuck one of her locks of hair behind her ear. "And you, woman, are one of the most competitive people I know. It's concerning."
"If we win, we'll probably go out to celebrate. Do you want to come?" she asks shyly.
"I'm already going out. One of my friends wants to celebrate his birthday at a bar. Maybe next time?" you suggest.
"Definitely."
You check your watch. "I really have to go now; I need to get back to work. Same time tomorrow?"
"Bringing you coffee is my thing. Are you stealing my ideas, Y/Ln?" she hints.
"Well then, I won't have a reason to see you," you imply, stepping into unknown territory, but it feels right.
"Well, that's just your loss. Coffee's my thing. You'll just have to find another way to see me then."
"Is that a challenge? Because I can find some other excuses to see you before the match," you grin confidently.
"Like?" she asks, smiling back.
"Well, I was thinking of working on your Ballon d'Or tomorrow evening. You've been bugging me for a week, asking for my help. I'll let you work on your Ballon d'Or, if you still want to, of course."
"Oh, so you want to invite me over to do your job?" she smirks.
"Definitely. This was all planned. You didn't see that coming, did you?"
"You just broke my heart. And for a moment I thought what we had was genuine," she says dramatically, making you poke her side.
"I really have to go now. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Definitely."
You walk to your car with a smile plastered on your face, feeling a tingling sensation in your hand from when she held it. You feel and sound like a horny teenager. Never in your life has a person made you feel this way, and that scares you.
The next morning, you arrived at work with a newfound excitement, which didn't escape Eva's notice.
"Why are you so happy?" she asked.
"Just the usual," you shrugged.
"Does it have something to do with your footballer?"
"She does have a name, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I've seen her more than my parents this past week. It's concerning. By the way, where is she?"
"She'll be here in the evening when we work on the Ballon d'Ors."
"Then I'll be out of your way."
"You don't have to. Nothing will happen between us, don't worry."
"Yeah, no. I've suffered enough this week. All the giggles, all the weird flirting. I'm done. Plus, you're making me feel extremely lonely."
Fast forward to the afternoon, you were waiting for Aitana while finishing touching up all the material. Even though the supplement for anemia gave you more energy, you had been working for six hours straight and couldn't wait to finish.
What was left was Aitana's Ballon d'Or. You hated working with gold, so you were glad this was the last thing for Barcelona. You would probably miss being here, but most importantly, you'd miss a person more.
As soon as she came in, you noticed she was still dressed in Barcelona sweats.
"Hey! Did you just finish training?" you asked.
"Yeah."
"How was it?"
"Tiring. I didn't know you wore glasses." She put your glasses on herself.
"You are definitely blind. I remember you asking me if I was blind when we first met. I guess coming from you, it's even funnier," she teased, earning a poke to the side.
You rolled your eyes. "I had contacts on. What's your excuse?"
She showed you her tongue. "Do I look like an art restorer now?" she fake bragged.
"You are way too fit for anything to do with art," you chuckled, gently removing your glasses from her face.
"Hey! I do, in fact, love everything to do with art. I'm here; that should mean something."
"Being friends with an art restorer doesn't change the fact that you're for sports, while I'm for the visual arts."
"Maybe that's why we get along."
"Maybe." You handed her a pair of gloves, which she excitedly put on. "You're getting very excited for this. Working with gold is very boring."
She shrugged. "I'm working with Spain's best art restorer; it's a privilege," she teased.
"I'm far from being the best," you denied shyly.
"I looked you up, you know. Youngest woman to own an art restoring company, you travel the world because everyone wants you. What more can you do?" she insisted confidently.
"You're the best player in the world. Last year, you won everything. What more can you do?" you flipped the conversation.
"I'm far from being the best. I still have to improve," she repeated your words.
"To me, you are the best, if that means something," you admitted, making her turn to you with a big smile on her face.
"Well, I thought Alexia was your favorite player; you claimed that you love the number 11," she raised an eyebrow, smirking.
"Well, I told you that I could get used to a 14 on my back. Plus, she didn't bring me coffee for an entire week just to see me. Lame, I might add," you teased her, making her blush.
"Shut up! You loved it," she said shyly, hiding her face away from you.
"Yeah, I really did... Now let's get started."
For the next half-hour, you taught Aitana a part of your work, filling your heart with joy at her curiosity. Whenever you guided her hands, Aitana would send you a look that you couldn't quite explain. It was intense and riveting, making you internally combust.
She was sitting so close to you; you could smell her perfume and shampoo. Your eyes focused on her, and she lightly stuck out her tongue, which you found extremely cute and distracting. As you gently took her hands, you could feel her calluses even with gloves on, you showed her a movement she had to do.
"Thank you for letting me help you," she said shyly, and you gently squeezed her hands.
"No problem. Plus, it's your Ballon d'Or," you shared a quick, soft look. "Actually, you're doing me a favor. Working with gold is my least favorite thing to do. You made it a little more tolerable."
"I'm glad to hear that," she chuckled. "I hope I didn't distract you too much from your work this week," she confessed insecurely. Insecurity didn't suit her well.
"Did you distract me? Yes," her face fell a little. “Do I care? No. We wouldn't be here now," you reassured her, and she lightly nodded in response. "So, on Saturday, I'll have to find ways to distract you from the game, so then we'll be even," you bumped her shoulder playfully.
"I never get distracted," she said confidently. You were glad to see her back to her confident self.
"Is that a challenge?" you raised your eyebrows.
"No challenge. It's a fact."
"Are we back to being all confident now?" you smirked playfully. "Well, now I'll definitely make it my main goal for Saturday to be able to distract you."
"And how do you plan to do that?" she turned to you defiantly.
"My master plan will be divided into plan A, which I still have to devise, and plan B."
"What's plan B?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I kinda do?"
"Too bad," you chuckled playfully.
It was 6 PM when you decided to go home. You had stayed with Aitana for more than three hours, but strangely enough, it felt like thirty minutes. You had discovered a new side of her that you couldn't get enough of.
She was different in real life from when she was on the pitch—still driven and determined, but also funny, kind, and gentle. She cared about so many things and was so busy, yet she had time to be with you for more than three hours. 
She loved books and days spent at the beach. Her passion for football encompassed her whole life, and you admired how passionate she was about her work.
She reminded you of yourself and your love for art. When you asked her about her favorite books, you were surprised when she replied with nerdy titles. Looks could be deceiving; Aitana Bonmatí was a bit of a nerd, and you loved it.
She walked you back to your car with your bag on her shoulder, insisting that it was too heavy. As you reached your car door, you quickly turned to her. "So I'll see you on Saturday?"
"Definitely."
"Don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" you couldn't help but smile.
"Yes, boss," this time, you received a poke on the ribs. "Ow!"
"Thank you for today. I really had fun. I thought working with gold was going to be more boring."
"It wasn't, thanks to you," you wanted to hug her. No, you felt the necessity to do so. Unceremoniously, you brought her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her neck and drawing her closer. After the initial shock, she wrapped her arms around your waist and held you tighter. The hug lasted longer than necessary, but neither of you wanted to let go.
There was a pull that made you not want to leave her embrace. It was comforting, and even if you didn't realize it at the time, you really needed it. After some time, you broke off the hug, said your final goodbye, and left for home.
Upon arriving home, you noticed a light emanating from the living room. Initially startled, you thought it might be an intruder. However, upon entering, you found your annoying brother standing there with his arms crossed.
"Jesus Christ! I thought you were a burglar! Idiot!" you exclaimed, smacking his arms in frustration.
"Hi to you too, sis," he responded with a smirk.
"Why didn't you call me?" you asked, placing your bag on the floor before embracing him.
"I needed to talk to you, and I knew you'd find an excuse not to see me," he explained.
"You live in Manchester!"
"I'm back. Got transferred back to Barcelona."
"For good?" you inquired eagerly. Ciro, your brother, was one of the best sports physiotherapists globally, having worked with Man City for almost two years.
"Yeah, got a call from Barcelona. You know I can't say no to that. Plus, I really wanted to be home," he replied.
He towered over you, twenty centimeters taller, with medium-length wavy hair that made heads turn. You both represented the opposite ends of two worlds—you loved art, he loved sports.
"I'm glad you're back," you said warmly, stepping back from the hug.
"Now, why did I have to hear from Mom that you were sick?" he asked, concern etched on his face.
"Ciro, I wanted to tell you, but you were busy with work. I really didn't want to worry you."
"You should've told me," he said sadly. "I would've been there. Could've come sooner."
"And do what? I'll start my treatment next week. There's not much you can do."
"I can be there for you. We made a deal to always stick together. You're my older sister, you've always been there for me. The least I could do is to be there for you," he insisted. You sighed sadly, realizing he was right. You should've told him. Perhaps you wanted to protect him, or maybe you feared that acknowledging your illness would make it too real.
"Did you come home because of me?" you asked tentatively, hoping for a different answer.
"As much as Man City pays, Barcelona is my home. And I really missed my sister."
"You're such a suck-up! What do you need?" you teased.
"Well, now that you ask... I might need a place to stay."
Rolling your eyes, you replied, "You can take the guest room."
After settling his stuff in the guest room, you both decided on pizza for dinner. He insisted you make the call, but you refused, playfully tossing his phone back to him. As soon as he returned, you sat on the couch to catch up on each other's lives. It had been months since you'd seen each other, and despite your reluctance to admit it, you missed him.
"Are you also working with Barca Femeni, or only the men's side?" you asked.
"I still don't know. Definitely covering all the home games and the key players if they're injured. Unsure about the away games."
"I have tickets to Saturday's game for the women's side if you want to come," you offered.
"I'll probably have to cover that game, being the first one," he replied with a suggestive smirk. "Why do you have tickets for a football match? Weren't you against 'the sports'?" he teased, using air quotes.
Blushing lightly, you retorted, "I never said I was 'against the sports.' I just prefer books to football games."
"Then why the sudden interest in watching a football match?" His face lit up. "Is it for a girl?" he asked excitedly.
"No girl!" you insisted, though thoughts of Aitana flickered in your mind. "Just felt like it."
"Then why are you smiling?" he persisted, tossing a pillow your way.
"No particular reason," you lied.
"Okay. You'll tell me when you're ready," he said with a knowing smile.
Fast forward to Saturday, and Ciro settled into his new job quickly. He primarily worked with the men’s side, working on Gavi and Balde, the most serious injuries at the moment.
On Saturday, he was to finally meet the women’s side in preparation for the game. Patri was the first to arrive, followed by Pina and Bruna. Aitana was the last, there for additional ankle support.
Upon seeing Ciro, Aitana gave him a strange look, as if he reminded her of someone.
"Hello?" Ciro greeted, puzzled by her expression.
Quickly snapping out of it, Aitana apologized, "Oh, hi, sorry! You kinda looked like someone familiar. I apologize if I gave you a weird look." Extending her hand, she introduced herself, "I’m Aitana."
"Hi. I’m Ciro. I’m the new physio. What can I do for you?" he responded.
During their time together, Ciro realized that Aitana was very chatty about nerdy things like books and coffee places—things that reminded him of you and how well you two would get along.
"You said you just came back from Man City, right?" Aitana asked.
"Yes, I did," Ciro replied.
"Did you know that the first atom was split there?" she commented, making Ciro chuckle. She would really get along with you.
"I think you’d be friends with my sister. She said the same thing when I left to go there," Ciro remarked.
"I guess it’s common knowledge," Aitana stated confidently.
"No, it’s not. But I’ll reply the same way I replied to my sister: who cares about atoms, when Manchester is home to the annual World Pie Eating Championship," Ciro chuckled.
"You got a girlfriend there?" Aitana asked unexpectedly.
Blinking at the question, Ciro replied with a crooked smirk, "Why, are you interested?" It was playful banter, no ulterior motives.
Raising her hands defensively, Aitana replied, "Nope, you’re not really my type."
"Then I should really introduce you to my sister," Ciro teased.
"Nah, I’m already interested in someone else. I’m sorry," Aitana smiled brightly.
"Too bad," Ciro finished up her ankle. "You’re all set. I’m sorry if this conversation was unprofessional. Please don’t report it to the club," he added with a tense smile.
"Don’t worry. We were just talking. But I do have to say, the more I see you, the more you look like a person I know," Aitana observed.
"Well, I hope they are great. I don’t want to leave a bad impression," Ciro replied.
"She’s wonderful," Aitana said before heading to the pitch.
Meanwhile, you were getting ready with Eva to go to the Estadi Johan Cruyff.
"So your brother’s back in town for good?" Eva asked.
"Yeah, he’s currently crashing at my apartment until he gets a flat of his own. Feels like we’re back to being teenagers living together for Uni," you replied, putting on Aitana’s shirt and giving it a subtle sniff.
"How’s that going?" Eva raised her eyebrows.
"So far, so good. She’s my friend," you reassured her.
"So, you told her about your condition, right?" Eva asked sternly.
You fell silent. "I’ve been meaning to! I just haven’t found the time yet."
"You need to tell her," Eva urged.
"I know. Let me just ignore it for a little longer," you replied hesitantly.
"She won’t go away, you know that?" Eva reassured you.
"I don’t care about that. We’ve only met three weeks ago. I don’t have some sick attachment issues, okay? I... I just really care about her," you admitted.
"I know you do. Or else we wouldn’t be going to a football game just to see her," Eva said with a smile.
At the Estadi Johan Cruyff, Aitana had secured great seating spots for you. As they warmed up, you couldn’t take your eyes off her. When she spotted you in the crowd, her face lit up with a huge smile, and she excitedly waved at you.
The game started quickly, with Aitana making a significant impact on the field. Her passing was precise, and she dribbled past opponents effortlessly. 
In the first 15 minutes, she had already made an assist and nearly scored a goal. At the thirtieth minute, she scored a remarkable goal from outside the box, prompting you to cheer loudly.
However, the next action worried you. A harsh tackle left Aitana clutching her ankle in pain. Thankfully, your brother quickly tended to her, and she was able to continue playing, albeit with some discomfort. At halftime, Ciro was still with Aitana, leaving you concerned. But what concerned you more was that she didn’t return for the second half, replaced by another player.You quickly sent a text to Ciro, hoping he’d see it.
**You:** Where are you?
**Ciro:** I’m at work, idiot. You saw me.
**You:** I know, but right now? Is everything okay with Aitana?
**Ciro:** Yes, why? Why are you so concerned?
**You:** She’s my friend. Can I come and see her?
Aitana was perched on the physio bed, visibly annoyed that they’d taken her off at half-time.
“Hey, Aitana,” Ciro turned to her, puzzled by her behavior, away from his phone. “How do you know my sister?”
She looked at him, puzzled. “Who’s your sister?”
“Y/n?” He stated, as if it were obvious.
“Like Y/n Y/ln? You’re his brother?”
“Yeah!”
“I didn’t know that! She never mentioned she had a brother. That’s why you looked like her!”
“She wants to come and see you. I can’t let her in, but you can if you want.”
Aitana blushed lightly, a fact Ciro noted but didn’t comment on. Internally, she thanked him for it.
“Yeah, of course she can come if she likes.”
He smirked knowingly, making her blush again. “I’ll go get her. Then we’ll have a small talk on how you have the hots for my sister,” he teased, leaving the room.
As soon as you saw Ciro in the hallway, you understood immediately that he had something in mind.
“Since when do you know Aitana Bonmatì?”
“Since I worked on her Ballon d’Or. We’ve become friends.”
“Only that?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, Ciro. Only that.”
“Doesn’t seem like it. You are way too worried.”
“Shut up,” you smacked his stomach hard, making him whine. “And not a word about this around her, understood?”
“Can I say one thing?”
“Then you’ll shush?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“She’s really nice and chatty. I get why you like her. Plus, she’s really hot, not to mention your type?”
“You really want me to get violent on you?” You hit him again.
“Ow!”
“You deserved it.”
“You didn’t deny it though…” You hit him again, this time harder. “This one was my fault. I take it back.”
You both reached the door to the physio room. “Now get back to work, Ciro.”
“So bossy! I hope Aitana likes this side of you!” He teased, and you replied with a glare that clearly said, "I’m going to hit you." Your patience was really getting tested. “Bye!” He quickly left to get back on the pitch, while you opened the door.
She was sitting still on the physio bed, with some ice on her ankle, still dressed for the match, and lightly pouting.
“Hey,” as soon as she turned to you, she brightened up.
“Hey!” You approached her. “How’s your ankle?”
You took her in, noticing she looked exhausted even though she only played for 45 minutes. Even though you saw her play, you were glad they let her rest.
“It’s good. They took me off for ‘precautionary measures,’” she rolled her eyes.
“I’m glad you’re healthy,” you replied, turning around to show her you were wearing her jersey.
She grabbed both sides of the jersey and dragged you in between her legs. “You have it on!” she said excitedly.
“Of course! I only wear the best! Great game, by the way,” you lightly caressed her thigh, next to her knee, to give her some reassurance. “You scored a banger!”
“Thank you. I’d rather have played more, though,” she pouted, making you smile at her cuteness. “By the way, what was your secret plan to make me distracted?”
You chuckled lightly, completely forgetting. “Plan A was to distract you just by my presence,” you bragged jokingly, making her giggle and earning you a poke in the ribs.
“That’s not true. You just didn’t think of anything to distract me with,” she said confidently.
“Maybe.”
“What was plan B, then?”
“Becoming a pitch invader or just flashing you,” you said dramatically.
“I would’ve definitely loved to see that,” she gave you a playful smirk, lightly gripping your waist a little harder.
You chuckled, smacking the back of her head. Then, you looked at her properly, changing the mood of the conversation. Her eyes looked so tired. “You look exhausted. You still have the elastic band in your hair. Isn’t it uncomfortable?”
“I’m just too lazy to take it off,” she confessed bluntly.
You rolled your eyes and then gently took it off her. “There you go. Do you want me to take out your ponytail too?” You looked into her eyes once again.
“You don’t have to. I can do it on my own,” she said shyly.
“I know you can, but then I wouldn’t have an excuse to be near you.”
Her face softened, making you melt like chocolate under the sun. She nodded slowly, and you sprang into action. Taking a step closer, you gently took off the elastic band and looped it around your wrist. You scratched her scalp a little, making her release a relaxed sigh. Chuckling lightly, you took a step back to give her some space. As you were about to take another step, she quickly grabbed you, bringing you even closer to her. Swallowing some of the tension, you realized she was in control now and wanted you closer. You quickly looked at her lips, then back to her powerful gaze.
“You don’t have to find an excuse to be closer to me. I always want you near me all the time,” you tucked your head down to hide your blush, not wanting to show her how much those words had affected you. She gently grabbed your chin and raised it to her level.
“Don’t hide from me. I love it when you blush,” she teased.
“Stop doing that,” your face flushed again.
“Doing what?”
“Being all confident and so close to me. It’s distracting.”
She smirked in response. “Maybe that’s the effect I want you to feel. I’ll let you go if you feel uncomfortable,” she reassured you.
You replied by simply placing your hands on the sides of her face, playing lightly with her baby hair.
“We’ve been skirting around it for two weeks now. Don’t you feel the same pull towards me that I have with you? It’s consuming, and it feels so good,” she admitted.
It was intense, obliterating in a sense, yet you couldn’t resist it. You hated not feeling in control. Acting upon these feelings wouldn’t be fair to her.
“I feel it too,” you removed your hands from her and took a step back, seeing her expression change. You could feel her disappointment. “So much. But I can’t,” you sighed defeatedly. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Why?” she asked vulnerably. “Do you have a secret boyfriend or something?”
You took a deep breath and decided to tell her. She deserved to know. You couldn’t continue like this.
“Aitana, I have ca—”
The door opened, and the entire team barged in. You subconsciously took another step back and let the team swarm Aitana. They were checking up on her, but her eyes never left yours.
“Hey, you’re the art restorer!” Patri pointed out.
You quickly changed your demeanor to something more cheerful. “Yes, I just came in to say hi to Aitana. I was just about to leave. I’ll see you.”
You quickly left to reunite with Eva and then headed home.
Later that night, you were going to a club to celebrate your colleague Pablo’s birthday, but for you, it was also the last party before you had to start your treatment.
The whole thing with Aitana earlier that day had left a bitter taste in your mouth. You felt like an asshole and couldn’t shake the feeling that things could have gone better between the two of you.
Realising that you never asked for her phone number and that you had finished your work for the club, you concluded that you probably wouldn’t see her again.
So when you left for the beach bar with your friends, you decided to indulge in some vodka. Eva didn’t question it. She knew that sometimes, when you were out with your friends, you stopped being the responsible one and drank more than usual to have some fun. Pablo and Eva always made fun of you because you never had filters and would always create chaos, but you never went overboard.
You were in the middle of the night, two drinks in, and you started telling your friends that you loved them. They only chuckled in response. You alternated between depressing states and euphoric ones, making Eva, who was also intoxicated, extremely confused.
The whole night shifted again when you saw a group of girls entering the bar, including the one girl you thought you’d never see again. As soon as she saw you, she tried to approach you. She wanted to talk about the conversation you had earlier that day, but you tried to drunkenly escape the conversation. It did not work.
A few moments later, you were met with her standing in front of you while you were sitting down at the bar stools. She saw that you were drunk, and her serious appearance faded for a moment. 
“Can we—Are you drunk?” she asked.
“Yep,” you confessed without even trying to hide it. “What are you doing here?”
“We are out celebrating the win. What are you doing here?”
“The birthday party,” you slurred. She had her nose ring on. You loved it when she wore it. “You have your nose ring on. I really like it,” you tried to raise your hand to touch it, but she quickly stopped you.
“How much did you drink?” she asked, concerned.
“Not that much. Why are you so serious? I don’t like it when your face scrunches up.”
She chuckled at your drunkenness. “You are so drunk. I’ll take you home.”
“Nooo. You just got here, plus my friends are about to leave,” you protested.
“It’s no biggie. You need to get home to sleep it off.”
“I think I should. On Monday, I have my first treatment. I shouldn’t feel hungover,” you blurted out.
“You have your first what?”
“Can I have a kiss?”
“What?”
“A kiss. You know, the ones you give to a person with the lips,” you explained, while she slowly took your hand and led you out of the bar.
“I know what a kiss is. I don’t think I should give you a kiss, given your current state. And the fact that a few hours ago you rejected me.” You were out now.
“Wait. Why are we outside?”
“I’m taking you home.” She states.
“You tricked me. You are one little sneaky son of a bitch.” You pout, making her laugh.
“You drunk, is the highlight of my day.”
“That’s so sad.” You cover your mouth with your hand childishly. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She giggles in response. “I still want a kiss from you. And I want to you to know that I didn’t in fact reject you. I just told you that I can’t.” You specify.
She leads you to her car without you realizing it. “I hope you are not one of those people who takes me to their car and then try to kill me.” She opens the car door and helps you inside.
She buckles your seatbelt, and due to the closeness, you blurt out. “You are very beautiful. The most perfect face.”
She chuckles, lightly shaking her head. “You are very beautiful too.” She gives you a quick kiss on the temple and round the car to get to the driving seat.
“Was it that difficult to give me a kiss?” You ask her rhetorically, making her roll her eyes at you.
“Can you tell me your address?” She sat down on the driver’s seat and gently turned your head towards her to get some attention.
“I don’t wanna go home. My brother is there.” You whine. “Let’s go to the beach.” You say excitedly. 
“Y/n you are drunk. If you don’t tell me your address I’ll bring you to my home.” Aitana tells you seriously. 
“Is that an invite?” You smirk suggestively.
“Get your head out of the gutter, Y/n.” 
“Calm down. I was just joking!” You grinned.
“I should probably text Eva.” You sober up and sent her, very slowly, a text.
**You** I’m going hmoe with hot footballer. See you on mnoday. I’m drukn but I love you.
The drive pretty much sobered you up. You were still blabbering nonsense to Aitana, talking to her about the most random things. When you arrived, you quickly noticed that you weren’t in your apartment complex.
“I knew it. You brought me here to kill me,” you said, fed up.
“We are at my home.”
You opened the car door and got out before she could help you. “This whole building is your house?!” you said, shocked, while she quickly walked up to you.
“No, you idiot. I have an apartment,” she giggled lightly.
“You are enjoying this, aren’t you? Getting to see me like this.”
“I am definitely enjoying this. Too bad I can’t make any videos of you like this,” she said, placing a hand behind your back to stabilize you until you got to her apartment.
You curiously wandered around her living room, taking in her home. It was just like her. Every decoration, every piece of furniture reflected her in some way, only something was missing.
“You should get some artwork to fill up the walls. Your house is beautiful, Aitana.”
“Thank you. I guess you can definitely help with that, don’t you think?”
“Not in this condition.” You sat on the couch, while you waited for her to join you.
“You wanted to talk?”
“Not with you like this, tomorrow morning?” she offered, but you weren’t on board with that.
So, with a swift movement, you sat on her lap, taking Aitana by surprise. You placed her hands on your waist and blurted out. “I’ll talk then. I really like you, but I can’t be with you right now. The connection you feel between us is so real and intense that it scares me. You have been one of my biggest blessings in disguise since you came into my life.”
“I’d rather talk about this when you’ll remember it, but I really like you, and I would like to know why we can’t be together.”
You were sober enough to stop yourself from telling her the truth. “I’ll tell you tomorrow morning, I promise.”
You gently rubbed her shoulders, feeling all her muscles, making you giggle.
“What?” she asked, tickling you for a second or two. She was back to being her unserious self, and her crinkle disappeared. Probably it was because she knew that you were safe now.
“You are so muscular.” You squeezed her biceps. “If we were in a zombie apocalypse, would you protect me from all the zombies? You go fend off our enemies while I do the housewife and part-time art restorer. Maybe zombies make art, who knows?”
“Okay, I will,” she indulged you.
“You promise?” You asked her seriously.
“Yes.”
“Pinky promise?” You raised your pinky, and she laced it with hers. “Now it’s sealed.”
“Let’s go to bed,” she spurred you to stand up and walked you to her bedroom. She quickly gave you some spare clothes to change, leaving the room for you to have some privacy. She gave you some Barcelona shorts and one of her old t-shirts.
Somehow, every item had her typical perfume, and that special something that was characteristically hers. You were now a little more sobered up, which made you less chatty and with some inhibitions.
As you opened the door of her bedroom to see where she was, you saw that she was getting the couch ready to sleep.
“Aitana, come to bed. I can take the couch. You already did more than enough for me today.”
“It’s no biggie,” she shrugged.
“No, it’s a big biggie.” You walked up to her and literally dragged her into her own bedroom. “You take the bed.”
“Then we’ll both take it.”
“We can do that.” You waited for her to take her usual side, then you climbed on the other side. She turned off the light, and you moved to your side to face her. “Thank you for tonight. You didn’t have to, but you still took care of me. You are truly one of the most amazing people I know.”
She kissed your forehead. “Goodnight, Y/n.”
She laid on her back, making you subconsciously go near her as much as possible, until you looped your arm around her waist and cuddled into her. In response, she gave you another kiss on the temple and nuzzled into you.
The next morning, you woke up with a headache. An arm was keeping you down, and as you opened your eyes, confusion swept over you.
Aitana was still softly sleeping on your side. Memories of last night flooded back into your mind. You guessed that she felt you stir awake because not even a minute after you had woken up, she woke up too.
“Good morning,” she said gently, moving away from you and sitting up, quickly stretching herself. You basically mimicked her movements on the other side of the bed and followed her to the living room.
“Coffee?” she offered.
“Definitely,” you replied, sitting down at her kitchen table. “Can I have a glass of water? My head is killing me.” She quickly retrieved it for you and got back to preparing the coffee. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable last night.”
“You didn’t. I’ve thought about what you told me yesterday: that you can’t be with me because it wouldn’t be fair to me. I think… no, I’m certain, that we can work it out together,” she said hopefully. She was still standing when you chuckled sadly.
“Aitana, you don’t know how much I’d want that. But being with me right now isn’t worth it, and I won’t ask you to wait for me because that wouldn’t be fair to you,” you admitted sadly.
“I’ll be the judge of that. Whatever it is, we can—”
“Aitana, I have cancer.”
Now she sat down. “You told me you had anemia,” she said defensively, not really believing you.
“I do also have anemia. That’s why I’ll start chemo so late from the diagnosis,” you released a sigh.
“Is—is it curable?” she almost whispered, almost not knowing how to take the news.
“Thankfully, I found out early about the tumor. The doctors said a 70% success rate.”
“Where is it?”
“Thyroid cancer. It’s a little bump next to my vocal cords.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she pleaded, almost offended.
“Because...I didn’t want you to see me in a different way,” you confessed as your voice cracked vulnerably.
“I could never see you in a bad light. You are a fighter, Y/n, remember it.”
“Do you understand why I can’t be with you?”
“Yes, and I call it bullshit,” she remarked determinedly.
“What—”
“You know, statistics say that only 30% of relationships last the first year. You literally have more hope to live than us being together.”
“And so?”
“And so, why are you denying us to yourself?”
“Maybe because in the next month, all my hair will fall off, I’ll be as weak as I’ll ever be, and I won’t be able to work anymore?” you said sarcastically. “Do you really want a girlfriend like that?”
“I want you, Y/n. We’ll just have to go through the bad times first before the good parts.”
“You know, Aitana Bonmatì, you are one stubborn woman. You never stop until you get what you want, huh?”
She nodded confidently.
“Can’t you see I’m trying to give you an out? For God’s sake, I have cancer! I might die, and I don’t want you to ruin your life to take care of me. I can’t be that selfish. I care about you way too much!” you replied exasperated, still with your head pounding.
She rounded the table and knelt down next to your legs, taking your hands. “It’s not a decision you can make for me. If you won’t let me be there for you as your girlfriend, then I’ll be there for you as a friend. For the record, I care about you too. And even if you already have Eva and Ciro, I won’t let you go through this alone.”
“We could never be friends, you know that?” you gently caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch.
“I know. But you are in control, okay? Let me just be there for you, please,” she practically begged you in the last part. You made her stand up while you thought for a moment.
“You won’t surrender, will you?” Your face adorned with a sad smile, while she shook her head. “I’m just a stranger, Aitana.”
“You are way more than that, and you know it,” she paused for a second. “You would do the same for me.” You nodded. You’d probably do worse if you found out that she had cancer.
"Let's take things slow, okay?" you concede, rising from your seat and placing your coffee cup on the table. "I should probably go home. Tomorrow I start chemotherapy, and I should probably rest," you say with a tinge of sadness. Making your way to Aitana's room, you change back into your clothes. After about five minutes, there's a knock on the door.
She slowly opens it. "Do you need me to drive you home? It's no biggie," she offers.
You nod slowly. "Can I come with you for your chemo?" she asks, her voice tentative, not wanting to overstep.
"I don't want you to see me like that," you explain, seeing her disappointment. "But maybe you could come and pick me up afterwards? We can go to lunch somewhere," you suggest.
"I'd love that," she replies with a small smile. "By the way! I think it's time for you to give me your phone number! I still can't believe we haven't exchanged numbers," she chuckles, and you hand her your phone.
She bursts into a giggle, sending you a knowing smirk. "I'm glad to hear that Eva is happy you went home with a hot ass footballer. The next part of the text, it's better that I don't say," she teases, causing you to blush profusely.
"I'm sorry," you mutter, covering your face with your hands.
"Oh no. I love it," she counters, smirking confidently as she tosses your phone back to you. As you unlock it to read Eva's texts, a smile tugs at the corners of your lips.
**Eva** Fucking finally!
Now go and sex up that hot ass footballer!
"Damn it!" you exclaim, exasperated, prompting a chuckle from Aitana.
The drive back home is mostly silent. As she stops right next to your door, you're unsure how to bid her goodbye. It's been a heavy morning for both of you, and you need time to process everything. You had intended to push her away, give her an out. But she refused to give up, surprising you.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right? You'll text me?" she asks, her voice tinged with insecurity.
You reassure her with a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tani. Thank you for everything." With that, you exit the car and wave one last time before entering your home.
Sitting on the couch with a sad expression, you stare at the turned-off TV. You feel awful, like you've made Aitana feel awful. Groaning loudly, you bury your face in your pillow.
Ciro emerges from the guest room, eyeing you. "Rough night?" he asks.
"I told her," you confess.
He sits next to you and pulls you into a hug. "Did it go badly?"
"No, I guess. Is it bad if I wish she had just told me to get out of her life?"
"No," he replies, rubbing your back soothingly. "But I'm glad she'll stick around."
Meanwhile, Aitana returns home and collapses on the couch, her face turned toward the wall. She lets out a light but painful sob.
"Damn it."
In the afternoon of the same day she found out of your cancer, she had a recovery session at Barcelona. For the first time ever, she just wanted to stay home.
Despite being off during all her training, her teammates didn’t ask what was going on, as she's not one to let her emotions affect her play. But that day, she was anything but focused. Ciro noticed and approaches her during a water break.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi, Ciro," she greets him, trying to hide her emotions.
"You good?"
"I'm good. Just tired."
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Aitana nods and rejoins her teammates.
"When did you become friends with the physio? Are you over the Art Restorer?" Keira asks.
"Her name is Y/n, and that's her brother," Aitana replied emotionless.
"The hot gene really does run in their family," Patri remarks, earning a smack from Keira.
Your first chemo treatment isn't as bad as you feared. Your energy isn't drained at all; in fact, you're super alert, probably because of the steroids.
Aitana arrives half an hour early and joins you in the hospital treatment room.
You're nearly finished; you just have to complete the saline shot.
"Hey, how are you?" Aitana enters the room and gives you a quick hug before sitting beside you. You'd be lying if you said you weren't happy to see her. Her smile melts away your worries in an instant. She's here, and that's enough to lift your spirits.
"I'm nearly done. How's training?" you ask.
"It's good. We worked on free kicks and rondos, so some light stuff. I brought you some snacks," she says, handing you dried fruits and nuts. "I read that the first chemo might make you feel drowsy, and since you also have anemia, I brought you some food with iron."
You smile softly, thanking her with a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Tani." Opening the bag, you search for some almonds. "I hate raisins," you remark.
"Just give them to me," she offers, and you quickly pass all the raisins to her as you eat the rest. "I don't know how you like raisins," you say, giving her a disgusted look.
"They're just fruit," she chuckles.
"How was the treatment? Do you feel sick?" she asks, worry evident in her voice.
"For now, no, probably because of the steroids. I should bring something to do next time," you say, your gaze softening. "About yesterday, we're good, right? I felt like we left each other on a bitter note.”
"It's okay. It was a pretty intense day. Let's just move forward, okay? So, I'm thinking... Let's go get some food, then we'll start our DreamWorks/Disney marathon. What do you say?"
For the past two weeks, the two of you had been discussing doing a movie marathon, and since you both liked kids' movies, you settled on that. However, there was one point of contention: she argued that Disney movies were better, while you favored DreamWorks. So the two of you had started arguing about which was best, and the winner was yet to be decided.
"I'm feeling great! We don't have to barricade ourselves in one of our homes. We can go to the beach and maybe take a walk," you offer, not wanting to confine her to spending the entire day indoors with you, knowing she's a very active person.
"Oh no! We have to finally settle this debate! It's been going on for too long now! Plus, you're going to need all the rest you can get, and I don't mind keeping you company," she insists.
"Are you sure?" You check once again.
"Yes, I'm sure," she reassures you.
Her idea proves to be right because as soon as you get home, you feel the steroids wearing off, with a sudden tiredness enveloping your body. As you drive to your home to start the movie marathon, Aitana notices almost immediately, quickly taking your hand and gently squeezing it, not letting go until you arrive.
"Your home is so full of books! I love it," she says excitedly as she steps inside your house.
"I love reading, and I have a college degree and currently doing my second specialization. I guess I have been the culprit of the death of some trees," you joke.
You fetch your grandma's blankets that she knitted for you, then return to the living room.
Aitana is already sitting on the couch with her arms open, waiting for you. Despite wanting to be held by her, you fear she might feel uncomfortable, so you sit on the opposite side.
She looks at you quizzically and then drags you to lay on top of her. You release a content sigh and proceed to hug her sides, fully taking in her body against yours. "Didn't you get the memo? From now on, I'll be your designated cuddle buddy," she giggles.
"Oh my god! How stupid! I completely forgot!" you joke.
She holds you tighter as you search for a movie to watch together, settling on "The Little Mermaid." You start to drift off, only remembering a faded kiss on the temple and a whispered, "You rest. I'll be here when you wake up, mi sirenita."
Approximately an hour later, Ciro returns home after spending the day with the men's team. He's really worried about you and how the treatment went, but he doesn't expect what he sees. You're lightly sleeping on top of Aitana, while she watches a movie on TV.
"Hey," he whispers.
Aitana's head shoots up to look at him. "Hey. She just fell asleep; the drugs wore off, and she got tired."
He smiles softly at the sight of his sister with someone who cares enough to be with her, even while she's sleeping. "How are you feeling?" he asks her.
"Oh, I'm good. She let me come inside while she finished up her treatment, and we had lunch at that place she always talks about."
"I'm glad she lets you be with her. She's stubborn, but don't give up. She'll come around," he reassures her.
She looks at you. "I really hope so," then turns back to Ciro. "Oh, you should text Eva! Y/n told me that she would text her, but I guess she forgot; she might be worried." Hearing all of this chatter, you stir awake, still drowsy.
"Tani, where is all this sound coming from?" you asked her groggily, still keeping your eyes closed.
"Ciro is here," she informed you.
"Hi Ciro," you lightly waved at him, then cuddled up against Aitana once again.
"Hey, how was chemo?"
"Tiring," you replied.
"I can see," he chuckled.
You raised your arm to show him the middle finger. "Okay! I'll wake you up later; you have to call mom."
You grunted at the thought. "Okay, okay. But now let me sleep."
"Do you want to go to bed?" Aitana asked you.
"You are too comfortable!" you replied.
"Why don't we go to bed? We'll be even more comfortable," she giggled.
"Okay," you slowly removed yourself from her and walked with her to your bedroom.
As soon as Aitana laid down on the bed, you resumed the same position as before. You indeed were more comfortable.
"You are the best cuddle buddy, Tani. Thank you." You gave her a kiss on the corner of her lips and fell back into a deep slumber.
Approximately an hour later, you woke up. You patted your bed to find Aitana, but she wasn't there. You quickly got out of bed, feeling a little better, and went to the living room to get a cup of water. In the kitchen, you found Ciro.
"Where's—"
"She left about five minutes ago; she had to do some media stuff with Barcelona, and she didn't want to wake you," he explained.
For the next two weeks, you had fallen into a routine. Whenever you had chemotherapy, Aitana would take you back for lunch away from the hospital, and sometimes you would take small walks together or watch movies if you were extra tired. In those two weeks, you had gotten a chance to know her better. The more you talked to her, the more you couldn't picture yourself without her. 
She was incredible. But most importantly, you loved how she made you feel. She was always so supportive, never failing to make you smile, but most importantly, she was ever-present.
Eva and Ciro would tease you so much because whenever she was around, you became a completely different person: nicer and more compliant. However, the mood from the first two weeks changed when you started losing hair.
You never really gave much thought to your hair; it was long and wavy, and honestly, you never thought about how being bald would actually make you feel. When single locks of hair started falling out, it was really a punch into reality. You had cancer, and your hair was falling out. Still, you didn't tell Ciro or Eva about it, and especially not to Aitana.
You were currently cuddling up next to her while she gently caressed your back. You had just finished your treatment for the week, and you were more exhausted than usual. Your throat was hurting, and your legs were aching as if you had just run a marathon. Aitana was rambling on about a book she started reading that you suggested.
"It's actually so good, no wonder you have great tastes in books," she lightly praised you, giving you a kiss on the scalp. She then tucked your hair behind your ear, but the lock remained in her hand.
"Since when have you been losing hair, Y/n?" she asked softly.
You moved away from her and sat on the couch, realizing that you had just lost another lock of hair. "It's been a week now," you uttered sadly. "Let's just not think about it, okay? I don't want to talk about it," you got defensive.
One thing that you didn't want was for Aitana to see you actually sick or suffering the consequences of cancer. One thing was tiredness, but another thing was losing hair.
"Do you maybe want to shave it all off?" she tried.
"Aitana, I don't want to talk about it, please."
"Okay, okay. I'll stop talking." You felt ashamed and embarrassed that she saw you like this, weak. So you completely closed off from her.
"It's getting late," you looked at your watch. "Tomorrow you have practice, and I have to study. I think that you should leave."
"Wha—"
"Aitana, please," you pleaded, with a vulnerability in your voice that you really didn't want to show.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped." With that, she left.
You took a loud sigh and went to the bathroom. Your brother's electric razor sat on the counter, and you just looked at it, unable to bring yourself to use it. You tried to convince yourself that you weren't actually losing her, but that didn't quite work.
Whenever you touched your hair, a lock would fall off. It was time to shave it off. Sitting down on the bathroom floor, you sighed deeply. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice when your brother came back home.
He appeared in the bathroom after a couple of minutes. "There you are! I thought you left. Where is Aitana?"
"I told her to leave," you said absently, still looking at the razor. He looked confused, both by your state and how you had kicked out Aitana. "My hair started to fall off. I've been trying to shave it off all afternoon, but I can't." You broke down crying at the last sentence.
"Gosh, I feel so stupid! I never bothered until now about my hair, and now all of a sudden, I can't get rid of it!" Frustrated, you punched your leg.
He sat down next to you and grabbed the razor from you. "But it's not just hair, isn't it?" he stated simply. "Losing hair is a physical reminder of what you are going through. It's scary, especially because you are someone who deals with problems by ignoring them."
You released a choked-out chuckle. "It's scary. You have cancer, you can die. Just like dad. And losing your hair may feel like you are out of control, like your body isn't responding to you anymore like before. But it's just hair." He turned on the razor. "Hair will grow again eventually." He moved the razor next to his scalp, making you react almost immediately.
"What are you doing?" You tried to move his hand away from his hair, but he wouldn't budge.
"I'm showing you that you are not alone, and for as long as you are in this fight, we are in this together." He quickly shaved a whole strip of his hair.
"Are you an idiot! Why did you do that?!" You said angrily, knowing that he would most probably pull off something like this, and even if you begged him not to do it on multiple occasions, he still did it. He didn't bother with your angry tone as he kept shaving off his hair until he was nearly all bald.
"See! It's just hair. Losing your hair is tough, but you know what? It's just another step until you get better. You are a fighter, and you are stronger than this." You were at a loss for words, so you just hugged him.
"Did you search on Google how to talk with your family member who has cancer?" You chuckled lightly, trying to break a little tension.
"I did," he said honestly, earning a small giggle.
You stayed a while inside his embrace, but then you soon remembered why you were in the bathroom. "I think I'm ready to shave it off.”-
After a very intense and emotionally charged afternoon, you found yourself sitting on the couch wearing one of your old Adidas beanies. You realized that one drawback of being bald was the constant feeling of coldness. Touching your head without any hair on it was something you had to get used to. It felt strange yet oddly cathartic, signaling your readiness to continue with the treatment.
"So, are you going to tell me why you kicked out that poor girl who's been following you like a lost puppy since you met her?" Ciro jumped on the couch to sit next to you.
"She's not a lost puppy."
"Well, she's been ever-present, bringing you food and always taking naps with you even when she could be doing other stuff."
"Don't make me feel guilty," you said defensively.
"That's exactly what I'm trying to do. You haven't fully given her a chance, and I believe she wouldn't want anything more than for you to give her a chance. You are all she talks about." His confession made your cheeks redden, trying to hide away the stupid smile forming on your face.
"I don't want to hurt her," you uttered sadly.
"By pushing her away, you are doing just that."
"I know, but what if I give her a chance and it goes wrong? What if she decides it's too much, or I don't make it? I can't deal with that."
"What if it works? You're simply denying yourself some happiness, which I think you fully deserve."
"Why are you being so wise today?" You tried to change the subject.
"I'm just trying to help out my sister, plus I really hope that if the two of you get together, she'll stop talking about you during the physio sessions. That girl is chatty," he chuckled.
"I should probably go and talk to her," you said.
"She should be home; she told me she needed to rest for tomorrow's practice."
You put on your coat and left for Aitana's apartment with newfound determination. 
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