#bertholdt meta

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

I’ve been thinking lately about how much the ‘curse of Ymir’ really does affect the psyche of each of the nine shifters and how it impacts the ending of the story.

Up until the end of Season 3/Chapter 87-88, the reader and the viewer have no idea that the shifters have a limited amount of time to live. They seem to possess this god-like power and they can rejuvenate and survive almost any injury. They seem unstoppable.

This is what motivates Erwin to create a plan to take one of the nine shifter powers with the serum- having another Titan in your arsenal would make a difference in winning the war.

But what the Paradisians don’t know is how holding the power of the Nine just perpetuates a cycle of violence and cruelty. It’s a curse as much as it is a power. No matter how brilliant or grand your scope is for what you can do with this near limitless power, you have to contend with the fact that you will only have thirteen years to do it.

This revelation to me is the what colors the entire last arc of the story leading into and after the time skip.

For Zeke, it amps up the level of desperation he has for accomplishing the euthanization plan- relying on Eren was still a variable that was largely unpredictable, and he trusted him more than he probably would have if he weren’t running out of time.

Going back further in the story, it retroactively explains why Ymir (of the cadet corps) would go back with Reiner and Bertholdt at all- a seemingly nonsensical choice when it seems she has something to live for in her relationship with Krista/Historia. But Ymir knows she has little time left. She has no future. So she chooses to surrender.

For Annie, it shows her desperation to get back to her father, a man who showed her very little affection, and yet if she could just make it back maybe she could live at least a year or two with him and make at least one happy memory with the man who raised her to kill.

Armin, I honestly feel the most for, because what he and everyone else thought of as his salvation, was actually just saddling him with a curse. And heaps of responsibility to try and be grateful for it. He went from a character with a singular and wholesome conviction, to someone wracked with guilt and forced to solve the world’s problems with limited time and resources.

In Reiner’s case, I actually think the fact that he knows he is going to die is the only thing actually keeping him alive in the tail end of the story. He wants so badly to face retribution for his deeds, and he can only find the strength to keep towing the line because he knows his violent demise is guaranteed.

Characters like Pieck and Bertholdt seem to accept their lot in life- but deal with this internally and develop their own sense of morals despite it- albeit in different ways and in Pieck’s case with a shade of pessimism. Falco and Marcel stand out as a characters who see the farce for what it is- but still want to subject themselves to it in order to prevent someone they love from suffering through it in their place.

Eren, though, it’s easy to see how discovering he has already lived more of his life in powerless ignorance than what he has left is what ultimately causes the collapse in his character. Combine that with the way that he sees ‘future memories’ and doesn’t see any future beyond his own, and suddenly you have a naturally impulsive and violent person living in the most fatalistic reality ever. It makes perfect sense that his fall from grace is near immediate and precipitous.

What difference does all that power make if all it means is that you become a tool for destruction with no future? That you will be forced to curse someone else so that this cruel power will continue to exist? That is the true legacy of Ymir and the Eldian Empire- you can have near limitless power, but you will never have true control over your own life.

And it makes for such interesting discussions and questions about power and mortality and agency- and all the seemingly ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to respond to their dilemma.

Anyway, it is always ‘thinking about the moral quandary of the titan shifters’ hours around here…

[moonspirit]

Do you think Levi hates Annie?

Hello anon!

Haha tho, no, Levi doesn't hate Annie. I don't think Levi hates anybody really. (Zeke is another can of worms, let's not go there rn)

First off, what I understand about Levi is that he's a deeply empathetic person. He holds a LOT of compassion and places a lot of value on human life (e.g: he isn't happy to learn that titans were all once humans). At the same time, Levi is someone who recognises that sometimes, it's necessary to make choices that can be violent and ruthless (one e.g: him torturing Sannes; he doesn't enjoy it but it came to that and had to be done). These are two personality traits that can actually coexist.

Coming to Annie. Much of the animosity towards her back when S1 aired was because 1. We didn't know everything about her, and 2. She killed Levi's elite Squad in a particularly violent fashion. She did kill Levi's Squad, and he was enraged, this much is painfully clear, I think. There's no denying he was furious seeing the talented people he worked with all dead in seconds.

But while I believe Levi is an emotional person who takes the deaths of his comrades very seriously, he is faaaaaarr from being vengeful. Remorse, regret, sorrow, and despair, these are things he feels, yes, but irrationally? just for the sake of being angry? No.

When we see the RBA "attacking" Paradis and trying to kidnap Eren multiple times, we (the audience) don't see them as children - we see them as young adults committing unspeakable acts of violence against an innocent population (this is exacerbated by the fact that Reiner is older than the others).

But they are mere KIDS to Levi, who's much older. He isn't stupid. He sees these kids, turning into titans and trying to kill them, and wonders why. Why are these children acting this way?

Also, try to look at it like this and see if it makes sense to you: Once the Scouts reached the basement and discovered the truth of the world, learned of the Eldian race, the Titan powers, Marley's existence, of Liberio within it, of the Warrior programme and how those human war weapons are all just children of 8 and 9 and 10, brainwashed with propaganda and bred to be nothing but tools and monsters - they understood. The Scouts understood before anybody else did, that the world was unfair on both sides of the wall.

Levi too, understood. He watched Annie kill his squad, and he understood at some point in time during the 4 year timeskip, that she was a child when she did what she did, and she had no choice but to do it.

While Levi doesn't express his emotions well, he doesn't dislike someone for the sake of disliking. He's blunt, he's foul mouthed, he's brutally honest and says what's on his mind... But him not openly talking to someone or showing care for them does not mean he hates them.

In fact none of the Warriors wanted to do any of the things they did, they committed those irreversible acts of murder and violence simply because they wanted to go back home. And maybe Paradis was the first place where they experienced some kind of friendship and equality, but it was still the target of their mission, a place they couldn't stay in. They still wanted to go back home to Liberio, back to the people they called family.

Annie, to the family she called her father.

A person as compassionate as Levi doesn't hate Annie, because he knows she did what she had to do when she was just a guilt-ridden teenage kid, even if that came at the cost of losing his friends.

Tell me also: Who in the Alliance hasn't lost their loved ones at the hands of another?

Around that fire with Hange, they've all killed someone dear to the other.

[tender-hearteddd]

bertholdt exudes the same vibe as the guy who killed the CEO of UnitedHealthcare ifykyk

[big-trouble-in-little-eldia]

What I like about Eren as a foil to the warriors is that the warriors grew up amid abuse and terror but still chose to love each other and do what they thought was right, while Eren grew up with all the love and support in the world but still desired to destroy the world.

The warriors had nothing and wanted to make the world better for their beloved, no matter how much they were tricked and used by the world and their beloved for that goal. Eren had everything but wanted to make the world worse for everyone, no matter how much he had to trick and use the world and his beloved for that goal.

Eren was always going to destroy, because to hurt indiscriminately is in his nature. Just as the warriors would always choose to love, because to carry others' burdens is in their nature.

[quiveringdeer]

idk where it came from but I have this really specific headcanon of Annie being a lesbian and the first person she came out to was bertholdt like Annie is probably really distraught from all this confusion abt her sexuality and it’s the first time Bert has ever seen her cry and he’s trying his best to comfort her and kinda doing a bad job in some peoples opinion but Annie isn’t the best at crying or expressing her emotions so to her, it’s kinda comforting that Bert is also not really good at this as well and Annie just goes “you don’t understand bertholdt, I like girls!” And she says this like it’s a bad thing (comphet is a bitch) and bertholdt is just like “….I mean I like girls too?” And Annie laughs and yeah I just love them :')

NONNIE THUS IS BEAUTIMUS!!!!! 10000000/10! PHENOMENAL!!!

my brook is curled on my hand in a way that makes typing difficult but damn it I must add my thoughts!!!

Bertie has such a big heart and great empathy but is absolutely terrible at knowing how to express that all!! Even with people he does so with often like Rei or Pieck. So Annie coming to HIM with all this, has him spiraling trynna figure out how best to comfort her. Cause as you said, he's never so much as seen her cry before.

She's so overcome with emotions it's also hard for him to parse out what she's rambling about but he's rubbing her back--if she is okay with that. Then she blurts out that statement and!!!!

THAT IS EXACTLY HIS RESPONSE!!! IT'S PERFECT!!

My brain was lining him up to say something so similar too! I feel like even if Bert, in this moment, isn't super knowledgeable or knows anyone else with differing sexual identities, he's such a supportive person that of course he's gonna accept it!

I firmly believe that this is the case even if he happens to be harboring any type of crush or romantic feelings for her at the time. Bert is a good person and at the end of the day he's firstly, honored that Annie would feel safe enough to breakdown in front of him and share all this. And secondly, loves and cares for her in a way that wishes to hold up her happiness as the most important thing. So, whether she knew of his feelings or not ((we know she probably did cause he's only just mildly better at hiding things than Reiner, which isn't much lmao)) he's not gonna bring that up in any weird way then or in the future.

When she laughs at his lil joke offering, he relaxes and ends up fully hugging her. And you know he gives great hugs!! His chin rests on the top of her head and he gives her a firm squeeze. "I'm happy you're discovering more about yourself and felt comfortable enough to share with me. I'll always be one of your biggest supporters, Annie."

[quiveringdeer]

Thank you so much for posting this omfg!!!!!!!!!

Not Porket almost ruining the whole thing with his big ass mouth!!!

Okay but I NEEEEEEED to know who is who of the TMNT! (my immediate thoughts are Marcel is Leonardo. Annie is Raphael. Bertie is Donatello. And Rei is Michaelangelo?)

His gift being a lil camera!!!!! And the way it has like minimal functions but he still can't figure out how to set the timer!!! And Poko calling it "baby's first selfie!" leave me be I'm just gonna drown in this puddle of happy tears!!!

Also Gabi and Falco technically there to help but allowed to (made to) go outside when they find the nerf guns!

Pieck is right about the ladder, I mean Bertie is only a couple minutes down the road.

Uuuuuuuugh I love this so much!! Y'all and your galaxy brain ideas I swear!!!!!!

okay birthday hcs part 2 but now its reiners bday instead still modern!au because otherwise shit would be anachronistic honestly all credit to @mercifulmudkip because i was just gonna let my other hcs sit on their own but. truly they lit a fire under my ass. i guess cw for a little bit of angst but it's pretty negligible

so fr fr reiner does Not celebrate his birthday unprompted. in canon he straight up wants to [demonetize] himself so even in the modern day he's not into it

last birthday he probably really enjoyed was as a kid. it was tmnt themed and he, bert, annie, and marcel were each a turtle. zeke, their babysitter, was splinter. porco was practically still in diapers but was already antagonizing them as shredder. reiner has fond memories of this but certainly sees it as all in the past

but after he made your birthday so special u are on a MISSION. rounding up the whole gang to make this truly The Number One Birthday Party

i wanna say surprise party because otherwise he would drag his feet about having a celebration so? he certainly can't know about it beforehand

u tell him on the weekend that ur going over to pieck and porcos shared teeny tiny house to celebrate piecks birthday (theyre literally 4 days apart) and honestly thats not really a lie! he just doesnt know its a Joint birthday party

pieck is also 100% in on the surprise even though its her party too. helps porco set up streamers, blow up balloons, etc.

pieck, porco, and annie try to hang stuff from the ceiling but can't reach. bertholdt just walks up behind all three of them with some tape and sticks everything up in rapid succession. annie "you really need to invest in a stepladder." pieck "why would i get a stepladder when i can just ask bert to do it :)?"

falco and gabi were originally enlisted to help but when they found porcos nerf guns they were sent to the backyard

everyone had played with the idea of hiding behind couches, turning lights off, doing the whole "Surprise Party" thing, but eventually decided against it in case it sent poor reiner into a full blown panic attack

instead, its more subtle. when you hop into reiners front seat with two presents, u tell him that u found something at the store that you just couldn't resist. also technically not a lie!

when u pull up to the party, porco is sitting on the front step vaping or something. ring of pineapple smoke around his head. "hey its the birthday bo- I mean, fuck -- wasn't your birthday a couple days ago? haha, weird." nice save, pock

the party is small and intimate, but by no means quiet. pieck has put on some hyperpop to try to keep awake while annie is absolutely dominating bert in smash bros. they always bring it as a party game but no one wants to play with annie because she absolutely wipes the floor every time. reiner has never picked up a switch controller and has, in fact, just discovered that his work computer has minesweeper

after some mingling u all gather around the table for Birthday Dinner. reiner walks in the kitchen and sees two small cakes but thinks its just got something to do with falcos peanut allergy and shrugs it off

everyone sings happy birthday to pieck and after she blows out the candles gabi waves her hands and says "one! more! time!" reiner is all raised eyebrows and confused expression as porco brings out the second cake and places it in front of him at the table

my boy literally starts tearing up as everyone starts a rousing encore of the birthday song. looks at u, eyes shiny, KNOWS u had a hand in this. whispers a soft 'thank you' to u before he blows out the candles and makes his wish

when its time for presents he finally puts two and two together about u bringing two gifts in the car. can practically see the lightbulb above his head. holds the small package in his hands like its going to break apart or disappear. "you didn't have to get me anything. this is more than enough."

it's a little digital camera, nothing fancy, maybe two different modes for landscape shots and close-ups. but it's perfect.

he sets it up to charge in the kitchen while everyone is cleaning up, then meets back in the living room to hang out. gabi and falco have joined annie and bertholdts game, and pieck is fading fast on porcos shoulder while he scrolls on his phone

reiner sits down next to you on the couch, and is not slow to take you into his arms, head resting on top of yours. "You had a hand in this, didn't you?" his voice is resonant and deep, and u can feel the vibration where his neck touches the side of ur head. u nod and look up at him. "a little."

he kisses the top of ur head, breathes in the scent of u. "remind me to take a picture before we leave. i don't ever want to forget today."

he lines everyone up for a photo but has no clue how to set a timer or anything, so he ends up poking his head in at the last moment. ends up looking like absolute shit, out of focus with a big blond blur right on the side of the frame. porco cant stop laughing at it. "babys first selfie" he calls it

but reiner loves it. to him, that blurry picture is like a trophy or a treasure. hed make it his desktop background if he had any clue how

he takes a couple more pictures and decides to experiment more with it later. just enjoys the evening, the company, the feeling of your hand in his

and if gabi steals the camera and takes a candid photo of you two sharing a kiss, well… he'll find out eventually

[annawayne]

Hi, Ann! Hope you're having a good day. I wanted to ask—why do you think some people refuse to acknowledge that the sins of other characters in Attack on Titan are no better or worse than Annie's? Why does she seem to get more hate compared to characters like Bertholdt, Reiner, or even Eren? Annie is one of the most hated characters, along with Gabi. Do you think this could be because she's a woman? Her personality is similar to Levi's in different circumstances, yet she gets criticized heavily. People even accuse her of manipulating or bullying Mikasa. What are your thoughts?

Hello!

Oh, thank you a lot for asking! (and sorry it took me a few days to answer it)

There are a lot of wonderful metas on this topic, but I would be glad to contribute a bit with my thoughts on it as well, and thank you for the ask!

Here, a small disclaimer at the beginning: I'll talk only about my personal thoughts, focusing primarily on my reflections on why this intense hate comes from that are not related to the basic "I just don't like her" - it's all valid, and it's absolutely fine not to like a particular character just because, and it's nothing to do with plain hate.

I think that one of the main issues of Annie's hatred is not even about Annie as a character, but, unfortunately, by the way her character arc is built. We see her at the very beginning, and she is still the second-line character, even if she's EXTREMELY important to the plot. So, back then, we had her screen time, and let's be honest, not as much as I personally would love to have, primarily because she's an incredibly beautiful, interesting character with her unique points of view on the world and, as turns out later, one of the most prominent roles in the story as a whole. Still, till her reveal as Female Titan, we have some scenes with her, we have some impacts on other characters (also significant, like for Eren and Armin, for example), and then, the Female Titan arc happens and... she disappears for a VERY long period of time from the show, appearing much, much later, firstly, in flashback like a glimpse, and only then, with her whole come back during the literal apocalypse. So when the time comes to give us her backstory - I won't lie, it feels rushed, and I think, Isayma has a very great sense of self-irony when he articulates it through Hitch's mouth: "Wait, what is it a sudden sharing of your story?", all while on the background the Colossals take a march. I honestly think that Isayma also understood that it's definitely not telling enough to sympathize with Annie's character when it's presented like this (for me, personally, it was enough and I just simply would love to have more, since Annie's past in Liberio is one of the most interesting topics for me), but on the other hand, he couldn't reveal her story earlier because it would hint at her comeback FAR too obviously.

So, one of the main points is this large gap in her presence and a bit rushed exploration of her character due to the lack of time because of the situation around the characters. For example, we have a very detailed dive into Reiner's character, and still, I also feel like there's much more to explore with his character and his psycho, and what we can even say about Annie, who doesn't have such detailed exploration but has the same difficult and complex past which is undeniably important to understand not only her as a character but also more about the universe of AoT?

The next thing that plays the role here is linked to the previous one - due to the massive gap in Annie's presence in the story, many people forget many things about her. Primarily, her emotions. I think it's one of the most overlooked things regarding her character and in AoT in general. The way we see her tears IN HER TITAN FORM when she fails to capture Eren? Her tears when she was crystallizing herself? Her eyes, full of fear, when she woke up before the whole Stohess thing? Her genuine surprise, which she tried immediately to dismiss when Armin called her a good person? Her smile when Eren complimented her on her skills, which was also deleted from the anime but remains in the manga?

Here, I need to highlight an essential thing: Annie's Titan is the only Titan that is capable of showing emotions.

If we look closely, everyone else has their emotions relatively very firm, like, for example, Bert's and Armin's Colossals, caged and restricted by bones; Reiner, it looks to me, is not only the shield for others, but he's a shield from himself, completely forced to be armored in everything he feels; Lara's Titan also seems like covered in pristine white chains, and it's also interesting since she was, let's say, the shifter with a twist; Pieck's Titan also has a very permanent expression, which is compensated by her incredible endurance, just like Porco's or Ymir's Jaws lack of emotions are compensated by their mobility; Eren's Titan has always this emotion of rage as if it's the only feeling he could have going into attack. Zeke's monkey is the only other Titan with emotions, which is also intriguing.

So, back to Annie, her Titan is emotional: her tears from the failed attempt to catch Eren; like she was genuinely shocked to see people under the rubble when she fought Eren, and he threw her towards the church, leading to its crashing; like she smiled when she saw Armin under the hood; how she returned to the last battle, and how she screams in her Titan form - I genuinely here a lot of "human" in this tune, something, she doesn't allow herself in her human form. And yet, people focus a lot on the infamous "yo-yo" thing, on her battle with Levi's squad and other people, where, ironically, she attacks only when she has a direct threat to her identity or capture. If we look closely, Annie avoids fighting humans as much as possible till she's attacked directly - she runs, she screams, she tries to show off people not to touch her, and when it comes to the "fight or to lose" (which is also a remarkable parallel to Eren's character), she attacks, not to mention the obvious question - how else you act at war? Yes, back then, it wasn't something we could call like that specifically, yet she had a military mission, which, by the way, she was failing for several reasons, primarily because she's not so cold-blooded as her character is often reduced to. So, how else was she supposed to act? We don't see a lot of the same questions, for example, for Armin, who came to her hometown and blew up the port with many more casualties among civilians.

In AoT, everyone has sins. Everyone, with no exception, but Annie sometimes seems to carry the hate as if she's the typical antagonist that is supposed to be hated just because the genre demands (she's not even an antagonist either).

To sum up, Annie's character is simply very misunderstood. She's one of the most interesting characters in AoT, and I say it not because she's my fav, but primarily - she's my fav because she's much more complex than some people see her, starting from her mindset and views of the world to her development, which shows how unlovable, unwanted flower that was denied to bloom, grows through the cement and concrete, firstly, with the spikes not to let anyone close because she knows how it's to be hurt, and then, that uses these spikes, this strength to protect others and eventually leaving them be on the cold floor, and she - growing more and more into buyoant garden.

Her hands aren't without blood, and so are the others who have the same invisible tint on their skin, and yet, the same hands that only knew destruction and cold touch could also be soft and build something new, something much more powerful than her Titans kicks.

When Hitch asks her if she would do all the same, Annie says - yes, but I see it as only the mirror of Levi's "living with no regrets." Objectively speaking, Annie understands that it's impossible to turn the time back, and living among these endless what-ifs doesn't give any change - it's gone and cemented in history as it is. All these potential questions of "what would you do" are more of a mental trick to whitewash the ego. Annie doesn't do it - she understands that nothing of it was something to be proud of, and she never was, and at the same time, she doesn't know anything else. To do something differently from what point exactly? From her crystallization? Not to reveal herself earlier? Not to give Armin a chance to live twice? Not to go into the mission? Force Reiner to return? Not to listen to her father? Not to be born?

Where exactly could this point change something?

Annie doesn't lie to herself, and she doesn't look back with abstract thoughts of "How would it be," but when the time comes to actually take another action, she does it; she returns to the final battle before it becomes another "what if."

And it says more than anything else.

Annie is an honest character, primarily with herself, and she doesn't want to pretend to be better than she is. This makes her character much more human than some people try to make her look.

So, that's it!

It was quite a long read, and thank you everyone who reached this point, I appreciate your time on this!

Thank you a lot for asking, and have a good *timezone*!

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

I’ve been thinking for a while about the Colossal Titan and the toll it must take on its shifters.

Despite being slow and lumbering- I honestly feel like it’s one of the most difficult titans to master.

Firstly, you have the transformation itself- the large explosion it causes and being able to calibrate that. Bertholdt at just 10 or 11 years old was able to make his Colossal appear at will without an explosion, but was also able to use it to blow up Shiganshina. Armin’s explosion in Liberio was even more massive- even the one he ignites on the Founder created a crater so deep his titan had to climb out of it.

It also seems with the heat expulsion and steam aspect you can also make the Titan disappear at will- including the skeleton- if you are being optimistic that Eren facing off with Bertholdt in the Trost arc wasn’t a bit of a plot hole and was actually a planned ability for this Titan. (It would have been interesting to see Armin do this- but he also needed to stay in the nape in order to grapple onto the air ship so…)

This titan is so different from the others in that despite all of the shifters leaving some collateral damage when initially shifting, one slip up from a Colossal shifter could wipe out everything for miles. So much of its abilities are offensive and external as opposed to abilities like hardening which are difficult to master but are more defensive in nature- intended to protect the shifter.

So its an interesting symbolism that both Bertholdt and Armin end up wielding it. It could never belong in the hands of someone like Eren who is impulsive and passionate, or even someone like Annie or Pieck where mobility and cunning are their greatest strengths.

The shifter has to be both reliable and reluctant when using it. And there’s something so tragic in that.

Additionally- when talking about Armin specifically- we never see him actually injure himself in order to initiate his transformation. (If I’m wrong about this please sound off in the notes). The two times we witness it, he has already done it and waited out to transform at the opportune moment. In the boat, at least, we have no semblance of how he initiated it- we see his hands but they aren’t bleeding or bitten. In the finale, we can assume his injury in his leg is enough to trigger it.

But the stamina and wherewithal to be able to control it so well despite already triggering it (like we see Eren do, where it implies that this is impressive by shifter standards) makes me believe Armin may have even surpassed Bertholdt’s abilities- at the very least in this aspect.

Also the idea of perspective- the motif that the Colossal is almost god-like in scope and scale- but its shifters cannot ever fully use its power or have to use it so sparingly. The idea that using its power over and over again diminishes it and makes it vulnerable.

How it fits the personality of its wielders so well while also drawing them in contrast- Bertholdt, who used it sparingly and only when ordered because he was incapable of deciding things on his own, and Armin, who used it in the capacity of a person commanding others. He is the last line of defense, the last resort- the one who will take the fall.

I think it is important thematically that Mikasa ends up killing Eren in the end- but until he shifts again there is a solid ten minutes of screen time where we are led to believe that Armin WAS the cause of his demise, and I think that’s still important to talk about. Both of them had to make the choice to “kill” Eren in the end- it’s only that one of them was more successful.

I could talk for hours analyzing the titans and how their abilities mirror the flaws and strengths of their shifters- but the Colossal specifically just intrigues me so much.

[armoredone]

META 01. home.

It was their goal to return, the only hope three former kids could long for after the atrocities they had done. Home. He'd return and his mother would finally look at him and see someone worthwhile, the piece of the puzzle that'd make her dreams of being on with Marley true, he only had to make it. But when did the lines that make up home so blurred? Before he had been so passionate about their goal, and the role he had stepped into in the cadets had just been a fabrication, a reliable young man who cared for these devils, what better way to hide his disdain. And yet when he laughed at a joke Connie made it was never forced, or when he helped Sasha cook he never felt annoyed, only a warmth and joy once the ingredients melded together into a tasty concoction that Sasha adored.

Reiner didn't have time to think about how he never laughed so freely in Liberio. He never hummed some unknown tune whilst cooking with his mother. Thinking about it for too long only made him seek refuge, finding peace in the empty barracks, fists curled around the nearest bunk, breaths ragged as he feels his mind switch between two different Reiners. The one who longed for home and the one who had begun discovering home.

Bertholdt was the one constant, a comforting hand on his shoulder felt as reassuring as when their limbs entangled together upon their bunk. If he squinted Reiner could still picture them in the very same positions back in Marley, younger, terrified of the future, of the unknown, yet still them. Boys holding onto one another for dear life, tangible so neither of them would disappear when they blink. Everything his friend did was a comfort, his sleeping positions, the constant of his breathing, the way his lips curled into the slightest smile whenever someone did anything amusing, the warmth of his skin when Reiner is at his weakest and he buries his face in the crook of that neck.

Home. Would it feel as good as the grip Bertholdt unknowingly had on his heart? Was it selfish of him to question if it would ever feel as good? His one goal was to please his mother, make her happy, become worthwhile, but how did any of that make sense when the pride he felt standing beside his comrades made his eyes well up with tears? Streaks that only fall down his cheeks when he's alone and he has to angrily wipe them away before someone sees. A warrior shouldn't cry, not for standing beside devils.

At this point it was the only thing keeping him going, the only thread that kept his mind and heart from spilling over into a mess of attachments he shouldn't have. Bertholdt deserved to go home, Annie deserved to go home. He'd finish their goal and they would, no distractions, only fleeting moments of solace wrapped up together on a wooden bunk.

He'd make it home. Even if the deepest part of his being new the truth. He had already made it home.

[10yearsatleast]

Bro I do really appreciate you bringing this up because I swear I felt like I was the only one who saw it.

It's like in the AoT world if you're not Blonde Haired/Blue Eyed or an Ackerman or a Marleyan you're practically a goner/killed off. Like there is no hope for you. Your grave is already marked.

Eren, Bertholdt, Hange. They never had a chance.

Thank you for killing me slowly by a thousand mental cuts the ask, anon! First of all, lemme apologize for taking so long to answer, but in my defence, you asked me quite the question here.

I want to say first that I used to be a big snk fan. And then the final chapter was released. It was so bad that it made me look at the whole series with a very critical eye, which made me realize that snk has never been that great to begin with. What really made this story good was the anime produced by WIT, and what really carried the story was its big mystery box. The moment we opened it, everything went downhill bc this was no longer a fantasy world, but a lazy parody of ww2 Germany & Japan.

But more importantly, and referring to the final arc, I started to notice all the rot hidden in plain sight: its fascist and antisemitic undertones, the awful writing, the lackluster worldbuilding, the braindead politics and the inconsistent treatment of characters.

Despite my newfound interest for the cautionary symbolism of Reiner and his character arc, I still think it was handled poorly. I have the same problem with characters like Gabi, Annie, Magath, and Pieck. Their individual arcs ended with them facing no real consequences for their crimes. Magath, despite being a literal representation of the nazi, was rewarded by the plot with a heroic death (a baffling choice when you think about who he is and what he did, and just how brutal and meaningless all of the Scouts deaths were pre timeskip). Reiner, Annie, Pieck, and Gabi were all rewarded with the promise of a new, happier life ahead of them, despite being responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths directly or indirectly.

Gabi herself is proof of just how bad the writing is: RBA lived inside the walls for around 3 years, and yet they still went on with their mission. They still killed Marco. Annie still massacred those Scouts. It took Reiner 7 years to fully acknowledge that what he did was wrong and to finally make amends ... by joining an alliance that had the same goal as that of the warriors for the whole goddamn arc: take down Eren. However, Gabi realized she was wrong in like what, just a few months at best? Their development is dictated by however the plot needs them to be or act. But there's more:

Marco, the Levi Squad, Sasha, and -- as victims of similar circumstances -- Pixis, and Hange, the embodiment of pacifism, were all condemned for being good people, and some of them for believing that there is good in everybody, even in their enemies; and punished for believing that conflicts could be solved in peaceful ways. Does the cautionary symbolism of their brutal deaths still holds up when the story rewards violence and crushes pacifism?

I don't think it does.

Showing that even the worst of the worst are capable of change and doing the right thing in the end is an important message, but. The idea that everyone is just a victim of their uprising or their circumstances is simply wrong. Ideologies don't exist without people, cowardice does not justify orders carried out that lead to attrocities. This idea fails to acknowledge that evil exists. Not just nuanced evil, but pure evil as well. It also goes the other way around. This idea also fails to acknowledge that good can exist.

And also to sympathize with Pieck. And Magath, who in his final moments, revealed that he actually cared about the kids he was indoctrinating and instructing to commit genocide all along. I can't ignore the similarity with the way neonazi like to bring up hitler's friendship with Bernile Nienau, a girl of Jewish origins, as an attempt to humanize him. Heck, even Zeke's final moments painted him as more sympathetic than he was. Such is the case with Floch, and the way Jean reacted to his death. All those characters were redeemed in the audience's eyes without facing any substantial accountability.

I also have a huge issue with the false equivalences that were supposed to show us how morally grey everyone and everything is.

-> The link to the post in the screenshot

Jean and Connie and the Scouts that attacked Liberio aren't just wrongfully presented as something they're not, they're also used as tools to rationalize what Reiner and co have done to them throughout most of the series. Jean briefly does that with what Reiner did to Marco before he punches him to a pulp. Then again with the "we're the same" bs. Then again with implying Reiner is one of them as a Scout. There's also no real tension between the warriors and the Paradis side of the alliance. What the warriors did to Paradis is truly horrific, so their only way for redemption is through their victims.

The mistake that most people do when they interpret their relationship or the characters themselves is to only look at the characters' in-story intent. But there's also this thing called the author's intent that overrides everything. Sometimes, you cannot separate an author from their work. Especially when it comes to the final 12 chapters, where the quality of the writing is in the sewer.

But there's actually another way through which these characters were redeemed: the introduction of a much greater evil and a much horrific event that makes everything else pale in comparison. The main conflict of the story was revealed to have always been Eldians vs Eldians. But that wasn't always the case. Not until isayama retconned Eren, and then treated him the same way he treated the warriors. Eren's friends refused to condemn his actions, and instead repeatedly rationalized, then absolved and thanked him for what he did. It doesn't matter that they still did what was right in the end, that Mikasa killed him, or that Armin admitted they're both going to hell for the atrocities they've individually committed. In the anime. Which came out almost 3 years after the release of chapter 139+the extras and the massive backlash that followed. Let's not forget how that conversation went in the manga:

None of that matters because there's a dissonance between their actions & words and their attitude. isayama couldn't condemn any of his genocidal characters in a way that matters, in a way that would leave no room for moral ambiguity. But perhaps the greatest injustice isayama has committed to his own characters, story and messages was to retcon Eren, the character that was at the center of a message as powerful as the idea that we're all special because we're simply born in this world, into a genocidal maniac that cared about no one and nothing (if he actually cared about his friends, he wouldn't have put them through living hell, not when he actually had the power to prevent it, and if he actually cared about his mother, he wouldn't have killed her) through one of the worst executions of the time travel trope I've ever seen.

Snk is not a story that condemns fascism, let a lone a "masterpiece" when it comes to social or political themes, because it's centralized on justifying the oppression of the Eldians and making it an integral part of the plot. Not only are the Eldians an obvious metaphor for Jews, which is antisemitic on its own given how it's executed, but isayama ends up making them truly horrific because he takes real world antisemitic conspiracies and turns them into factual realities in his own story, all while seemingly acknowledging that Jews have been oppressed and the victims of the worst genocide in history. Moreover, the Eldians also seem to be ideologically inspired by imperial Japan, Paradis in particular. As @ shangyang points out in their essay, we shouldn't forget the fact that this is a manga authored by a Japanese man, nor that Japan has its own history with fascism. (Plesse don't skip any of the posts linked here)

All that being said, isayama's true intent is more than clear: violence is praised because his characters were written so to see violence as their only option, and the fascist mentality of eternal warfare as the status quo. Pacifism is not presented as an option. There's no nuance, only extremism. Even the cycle of hatred at the very end only serves as proof that the intent of the story is to present an extremely narrow worldview in which the human species is only capable of perpetual warmongering, hatred, destruction, and death. Which is wrong and is the very opposite of what I'd call "nuance", imo. And the reason this bothers me so much is because snk and other "morally grey" works alike aren't portraying evil people as just that, people, and evil as something that exists in all of us - no, what they're doing is making the unlikeable likeable, the unjustifiable justifiable, and they're making people sympathetic towards things they shouldn't be sympathizing. Such narratives are banalizing evil (if I had a nickel for how many posts I've seen justifying what Magath did or outright saying they love the guy, well I'd have a lot of nickels) and depreciating good (lots of nickels for all the posts I've seen bashing the Scouts). Such narratives serve as propaganda for the things they claim to condemn.

The result is that such stories beget ignorance, and ignorance is a fertile ground, whether is the case of people who are only interested in shipping and blorbofication, or the people who are not properly educated to know what they're dealing with.

And there's a reason actual fascists and neonazi are circling the series like flies, identifying with the yeagerists, and saying that "Eren was right". They're not taking control of the narrative, they're seeing it for what it really is. The progression of Eren's character arc, his motivations, the retcons, the conclusion of the story, Ymir's motivation, the undeserved redemptions, the characters not behaving in ways they should based on their history, none of those things make sense because they don't have to make sense. They're only pretexts meant to mask the actual intent of the story. The cycle of hatred didn't end because the rumbling truly failed. Because "the enemy" (the people outside Paradis, all of them, as Eren made it very clear) wasn't completely obliterated. Because as long as there's "the enemy", there can't be peace. Fascists have a complex relationship with war. They don’t like it, but "the enemy" is always forcing their hand. The rumbling was meant to succeed.

This is not a cautionary tale for anti-fascists.

Snk is a cautionary tale for fascists.

Now recontextualize all of that in present-day fascist politics, and see where it takes you. But ofc, this is only my interpretation, based exclusively on the story itself.

[tender-hearteddd]

thinking about how the few characters close to bertholdt chose to exploit him for their own dreams and goals and taking it very personally lolz

his very own “best friends” didnt even leave him with not even a shred of comfort or closure; he was a good boy who just wanted his father to be okay and he died without ever knowing whether all the atrocities he committed had even saved his father in the first place from the colonial power that is marley

the only thing he’s ever wanted was to protect the ones he loves and his love ones can’t even acknowledge his pain or what he went through when he was used as their scapegoat for their crimes. eren literally changed the whole course of history to exploit him in order for the rumbling to happen yet bertholdt is still blamed for thst shit. he didn’t get to have any dreams or aspirations bc he was too busy worrying abt reiner losing his mind. his last few moments was fighting to stop the inevitable slaughter that will continue if he doesn’t fight. he doesn’t want to put any more people through the hell he will always reside in - that is why he fights, and he didn’t even get to accomplish this goal. literally everybody else in the whole entirety of the manga got to accomplish whatever their goal was, all the other characters got a consolation prize. what does he get? his want to protect the people he loves was twisted into some sinister evil goal by the majority of the aot fandom like the scouts didnt enable a whole ass genocide in the name of….friendship i guess?

bertholdt cared about the warrior candidates before he even met them. bertholdt cares about anyone who’s ever been lost. no one even cares about his pain, no one ever cares that he was exploited. he’s just there, he came and he left and he had to accept that he will forever be a weapon for a country that hates him and a monster to the people said country sent him off to kill.

[big-trouble-in-little-eldia]

Oh hey, I never posted this here

Last month, I got bored and took a look at the AOT characters’ most likely sexuality in canon, might as well share it on here

Usual disclaimers: Isayama is dead to me and intention doesn’t matter, only depiction does. Some of my headcanons and fanon differ from these as well and just because something’s (probably) canon doesn’t mean anyone’s in any way obligated to follow these. This isn’t meant to contest others’ interpretations and fanon, it was made purely as a fun little bit of trivial meta. Characters between two points can arguably can fall into either side and the side they skew towards is the one that’s most likely. Since not a single character can really be pinpointed with 100% certainty, 90% certainty has become the new reference point for the set sexualities.

[quiveringdeer]

Me starting to read this, knowing it's gonna be excellent:

Seeing some things that I also have been thinking and diving in for a closer look:

My mind being blown by how magnificently Keiner is able to express all of their thoughts so clearly. Bringing it up then presenting such great evidence:

Me absolutely RATTLED that this only has 4 notes and none are reblogs:

— "I remember what you said. You promised we'd pay for what we did, and you promised pain. So are you here to make me pay?"

— "Yeah. I did say that, didn't I?"

— "Huh?"

— "Let's forget about that. At first, I considered every person on this side of the sea an enemy. But later, I crossed the sea and slept under my enemies' roof…ate the food they offered me… Reiner, I'm the same as you. Some of these people are awful, but some are good. Same where I'm from. Inside the walls, we're all just people. But you were taught that the people in the walls weren't like you. That we were demons. You were just kids who got brainwashed. Hatred was part of your training. As young as you were, how could you have fought that? You couldn't have and will it. It looks like you've already paid."

— "No. You're wrong, Eren! That day... when the titan got Marcel, Annie and Bertolt wanted to end the mission right then, and they would have. But I convinced them to keep going, not just to save my own skin but… because I wanted to become a hero! I wanted to be respected! It's my fault! The truth is your mother was eaten by a titan because of me!

For me, personally, this bit of conversation here was such a turning point— or rather, it was a very good culmination of Eren and Reiner's character.

The way that Eren can outright say the things that's probably been living inside Reiner's head all this time. A major source of his emotional struggles. I’m pretty sure that the knowledge of everyone being just the same as they were began to sink in inside his head at such an early stage. It’s probably even before they joined the cadets. The anime showed Reiner and Bertolt’s reaction after they made that hole in the wall.

Among the crowd you can see the surprise— the horror on their faces. Murder is murder no matter how you slice it, and the same can be said for being a child. No matter how determined or dedicated Reiner was to this grand cause of saving the world, no matter how prepared he felt to kill these devils… words and actions tend to weigh differently once you're on the part where you need to do it. Granted he performed his task of breaching the outer wall, I don’t think anything could have prepared him from the sight of these devils scrambling like humans once death and chaos were added into the equation. As a kid, Reiner’s tremendously honest and kind. He’s not the type that could pull of an act of feigning empathy or sympathy for the enemy. The shock on their faces here? Damn genuine, if you ask me. Although, at this point in time, I don’t think he’d doubt the teachings of Marley about the people from Paradis. However, I do think he'd begin to ask questions, if only for him to make something out of it. Coz I feel like Reiner has a certain defense mechanism to shock… wherein he tries his best to reason and make sense of things, coming to an acceptable and realistic conclusion that he can fathom and work with. In this situation, I feel like he’d be asking, “They’re devils, aren’t they? So… why are they so scared?”

Of course, he can’t keep dwelling on that. Not when they have a mission to do, not when they had goals that needs to be accomplished. Out of all of them, Reiner knows he’s the one who can’t afford to be affected or lose heart because he was the one who forced Annie and Bertolt to continue the mission. He assumed the responsibility of being in charge in place of Marcel. So, he of all people can’t be dissuaded, can’t be half-assed about it, shouldn’t have a change of heart regarding the filth within those walls.

However, as time progresses, as the years come and go, Reiner observes, he learns. He has to, in order to infiltrate and do his mission properly. He has to act in a way that’ll get THEIR enemies’ sympathy so that moving inside the walls become easier. Living out their lives as people from Paradis, sticking to someone else’s borrowed truth (the story the old man told them before he hung himself) as Bertolt narrated in the earliest part of the series… in order to cement their own identities, so no one would become suspicious. Still, I guess nothing could have prepared Reiner for the bonds that he’d eventually forge with the cadets from the 104th battalion either. This was most probably the time wherein him, Annie, and Bertolt actually got the most interaction. Living with them day to day. Doing the same things, eating the same food… and this time, sharing a similar goal— to save humanity, to save the world. In the earlier stages of being a cadet, I’m sure he still has his mind on the warrior’s mission. But I’m also of the opinion that his “fraternizing with the enemy” wasn’t just for its sake anymore. He may say that it’s to get on their good side, but this was probably also the time where he’s actually treated like an actual human being by his fellow peers. Not as a warrior, not as a soldier… but just as a person who gets his fair share of acknowledgment. That some part of him was actually good enough. To think that his so-called devils, the people he’d held in contempt for so long, the evils of this world, would be the people who saw him as well… a person. Shit, he even became someone’s hero.

When Eren asked him how to be like Mikasa and him? I’m sure we all know that Reiner saw himself for a moment in this strong-willed but desperate boy who just wanted to make a change before he ended up dying…because that’s how he felt when he was in Marley. When he was the weakest of them all. When he was desperately running after a dream— only to be denied, so he had to go after the next. “Just do what you have to. Keep moving forward. That’s all we can do.” While these were real words of advice that he had for Eren, I firmly believe that this is a reminder for himself too. That he has to keep moving forward. A creed he has lived by since day one, because for someone like him who knew what it was like to be the worst at everything, doing what you can and moving forward was the only real way to get results. That’s what he’s done, and that’s what he’ll do… regardless of whatever it was that he believes to be right… which of course, blurs somewhere along the way. Something further reinforced by Marco’s death— at the hands of Reiner’s own decision making. One which we also know that his guilt and conscience couldn’t handle. SO. If the line was already blurring somewhere along the way, Marco’s death, for me, was the trigger of him solidly compartmentalizing who he is as a warrior and who he is as a soldier. At this particular junction, this was the only way for him to function properly. Where he loses himself in one persona, and then switches when either the need arises or when he is reminded that he’s actually a warrior.

Coz like, at some point, I really believe that Reiner would have wanted to just be a soldier. To be with these people who gave him the validation and respect that he never really got back in Marley, but also to protect the friends that he’s made along the way. I think this want had been strong enough at one point. Specifically, when he saved Connie. Him remembering Marcel’s deeds; him having incorporated who Marcel was in his soldier persona makes it even stronger. Because at the end of the day, Reiner just wants to save his comrades, his friends. I don’t think this has ever changed. From the time he apologized to Annie and Bertolt… promising that he’d be the warrior he was meant to be, up to this point in time. He’s got their backs. Which is why I think that in Reiner’s character development, the conversation between Connie and Bertolt about Reiner being so self-sacrificing is important. Because this was the point where Bertolt was reminding Reiner of who he really is only for Reiner to shut it out completely, his head not even beginning to register what the hell a warrior was or what it even meant.

But again, the reality of the situation rears its ugly head. The trigger of which, again for me, are two things. One, was Eren mentioning that Bert and Reiner were driven far away from their hometown. If you go to episode six of Season 2, you’ll notice how his reaction drastically changes. Because before Eren mentions it, Reiner was in the moment of being a soldier. Where all that registers to him was the near-death experiences he had with titans. Again, it’s not as if he was lying. These were the truths of his experiences regardless of what the reason behind his actions were. At this time, he doesn't remember telling Annie Eren’s location, most likely doesn’t even register Annie as the female titan. He’s not trying to deceive anyone; he was just reliving the trauma of having almost died. So much that he even wanted Armin to validate the prior situation. The second one was when Bertolt reacted to what Eren said after seeing Reiner’s expression. Like, bam. Bertolt sees the opportunity to once again pull Reiner out from the deep end by reminding him of home. Which works. However, not in the way that he himself expected.

I don’t have enough Bertolt in me to interpret his words of “Truer words were never spoken. Home! Let’s go! We’ve been here long enough. Compared to everything else we’ve had to go through; the rest is easy.” But I’m sure as hell Bertolt didn’t mean for Reiner to just so casually reveal the truth to Eren like that. Maybe it was more a nod to ‘Let’s escape while we have the chance. Let’s go back with what we know. We've done enough. If we get punished, I'm sure we can take it.’ But not Reiner’s “I’m the Armored Titan. He’s the Colossal.” spiel.

After all that’s happened, what they’ve been through. Reiner knew that Bertolt was right. Everything moving forward would be easier. So, for a while, Reiner just gave in. He wants to go home, just like anyone else. Wants the mission he forced on his fellow Warriors to finally come to an end. Everyone’s tired of all the fighting. All the death. Reiner now has a better understanding of the people of Paradis whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. He can bargain. In a way, he sees a kindred spirit in Eren. So, he took the chance of telling him the truth. See, knowing what he knows now, I am a firm believer that a chunk of who he is as a person just wants to avoid killing anyone else. Because he knows that there were no devils behind these walls, only people. Like him. Like Bertolt, like Annie. Like those they’ve left behind and were waiting for them in Marley. He just wants to avoid a fight at all costs, even if it meant spilling the beans. Eren, in part, wants the same thing. To prevent any more people from dying, to save as many as he possibly can. So, to Reiner, he thought that maybe Eren would understand if he explained the situation. That him going with them was the optimal way to avoid a major crisis. The best solution anyone could ever ask for. Which… of course, didn’t go exactly as planned. Because as Eren mentioned, “What’d you expect me to do? Say yes, let myself be kidnapped just coz you asked politely?” things don't always go well when you ask politely.

AND YOU REALLY SEE the look on Reiner’s face here. For me, this is when he snaps back to reality, and not just any reality. He snaps back to the entirety of the situation, of how everything that they’ve known wasn’t all that it was cut out to be. The realization that they weren’t fighting devils, but they were fighting people just like them. That he can no longer really consider himself a hero, because heroes dont murder innocent people. How he no longer knows what’s right from wrong, but despite knowing all that, he has to go back to his roots, to his duty as a warrior. So, you know… for the first time in a long while, we get to see Reiner for who he actually is. Not Reiner as a Soldier, not Reiner as Warrior… but the Reiner who always has to make a choice and choose the path that he needs to stick by due to the realizations he brings himself to accept, by force or otherwise. And man, when he says that he’s choosing the road that leads to the bitter end. It’s not even about coming back as a hero anymore, he really just wants it to be over. Because that's the only way for it to be over, he’ll accept what he’s done; take responsibility, pay for it. Because again, that’s all he can really do— accept the outcome no matter how painful it is and move forward.

And then the switch from warrior to soldier happens again without warning when they were taking a rest after capturing Eren and Ymir. God. The way that they showed his internal struggle here, from having been reminded that he’s not a soldier to being reminded of Marco’s death, to Ymir and Eren just rubbing salt to the wound of his sins. Out of all of them, he gets it. It’s not as if he wants to be a victim or chooses to be one, it’s just that… he actually is a victim whether he wanted to be or not— but at the same time, it’s not as if he’s trying to run away from the murder, from the death, from the sins. He’s trying his best to resolve it within himself. But it just isn’t easy. Because he’s never lied about how he felt. Because somewhere along the way, he understood what Paradis really was. What those devils really were. So, when Eren just kept throwing his rage at him, he loses it. Telling him outright that he’s aware that they were, at this point, murderers. And that he didn’t need to be constantly reminded of it. Reiner understands that no amount of apology can fix the damage that they— that he had caused the day they breached Wall Maria. I think what hurts Reiner the most in this entire exchange was Eren saying that they were not human, not one of them, never been. Again, if there’s someone here who doesn’t need this constant reminder, it’s Reiner. Only this time, he’s faced with someone who was just like him once. Three years ago, Reiner would have shared the same sentiment, without a doubt. But now? He knows the truth, that they were, indeed the same. Only this time, there was no way to prove it because to the rest of Paradis, they were the monsters, the bad guys, the devils.

The irony is though, when Reiner asked, “want us to feel bad, want us to take the blame”, four years after, he does just this: Feel bad while taking the blame for everything that has happened back on the island. One helluva foreshadowing for our broken man.

When Eren mentions that Reiner already paid the price, Eren now understands where the former was coming from. Based on how he appeared, how he carried himself, pretty sure Eren more than anyone, understands what Reiner had and was still going through. Why Eren himself can just drop the whole revenge agenda. But Reiner can’t. Deep down, somewhere, he’s always wanted this. Always waited for this chance. Wanting for his wrongs to be brought up, for him to get the punishment that he deserved because his guilt couldn’t take it. Which is why he was doing everything, groveling even, to plead his case… his sins to Eren. Reiner doesn't want to be forgiven, understands that he can’t be, doesn’t even expect anyone to do that for him. Which is why it came as a shock when Eren just dropped it. Among everyone, Reiner expected Eren to be the one to deliver that justice, the pain the execution he deserved. But that never came, and it never will. I do think that in Eren's point of view, seeing Reiner like this, he's convinced that Reiner was suffering enough, pained enough. And for someone who had no choice in the matter at the time, didn't know any better, what he was going through now was already comparable to death; maybe even worse.

I think it’s pretty brilliant how Eren literally just reiterates what Reiner airs out four years ago, of them being the same. Of how Reiner and the others were just kids, and how they didn’t know a damn thing. Knew that hatred was part of the training, that children so young couldn’t have known better, couldn’t have willed it. And Reiner despite knowing the truth denies those very words in order to validate his crimes and his self-loathing. Of how he doesn’t want to accept that a murderer like him can just be let off the hook that easy. Even trying to appeal that it was because of him that Carla got eaten in order to make Eren change his mind. But he won’t. Not when Eren understands the truth that he didn’t four years ago. Not when Eren understands what he has to do in order to achieve his own goal. Not when Eren's future actions would be far worse than what Reiner had done all those years ago.

In a way they were just two kids trying to save the world. One simply grew up fighting a war he never should have fought and trying his best to push forward despite being someone who was unable to let go of the past— despite of the mistakes that have been made along the way. While the other never really changed, simply accepting the truth, unable to let go of the future that'd eventually bring about the freedom that everybody sought after.

[quiveringdeer]

Reiner and Bertholdt getting distracted by everything while they shop, turning everything over like "oh, this is nice😲" Then you got Annie who's a very grab-it-and-go gal with anything that isn't sweets.

Hahaha This is so legitimate.

I feel like Annie isn't even someone who needs to make a physical list. She just has the few things in mind she needs, grabs them and checks out. I feel like she isn't the biggest fan of crowds either, like she can handle lots of people around, but in a perfect world she wouldn't have to.

She's really only an impulse shopper when it comes to sweets. Like she has to expressly avoid passing the bakery section in stores or actual bakeries and a patisseries whenever she's out or she's gonna end up with a giant bag full of sweets she's obligated to consume in that same day. Annie has soooo much self discipline, but put something sweet before her and that discipline may as well be cotton candy in a rainstorm.

I feel like Bertito is a big list person. If he has capacity, he probably also has a running inventory of his pantry and fridge. Mainly I think this cause I headcanon him as a big baker. So he's always needing to be aware of how much, flour, eggs, sugar, etc. he has on hand.

He has his list, double checks it before heading to the stores--even if nothing is ever amiss--and gets exactly what he needs. But! He doesn't mind strolling around non food specific shops, without a plan. Had someone mention a hc of him being an avid thrift shopper and I fully support this. Him and Pieck are great thrifters. And cause his trips often include her, he's cultivated a very chill and "no-rush let's peruse everything and just enjoy the moment" attitude, from Pieck. He has a similar attitude anyway, so it works.

I feel like if Annie or Porco were to join them on these endeavors--Annie would simply get bored and leave to do her own thing and Pock would stick around but be an obnoxious complainy baby until Pieck encourages him to go do something else. lmao ((even if they aren't dating, they are always hella close in my mind and he sticks to her like a lil baby duck))

Then we have Reiner. Sometimes he makes a list! But he's very much a, I'm just gonna go up and down every isle in case I forgot something, type person. Regardless if he made a list or not. ((am I projecting? mind'ya business 😗))

When it comes to other types of stores, he also likes to casually peruse. Picking up objects that pique his interest. He's not much of an impulse buyer, I think no matter the verse, he's not prone to buying lots of material things. But he does like to pick out things for others! Especially his mom or Gabi. He does so for his friends and coworkers too. ((he likes the idea of them associating positive feelings with the object and thus positive thoughts of him))

To round things out--I think Annie is also fairly minimal when it comes to buying "unnecessary" things. Like she would be someone to literally have one bowl, spoon and mug in her apartment. Not even a fork. She can manage just with her spoon and knife.

Bertie and Porco have a fair collection of, things. But nothing that'd be considered "clutter" I guess. They both are prone to collecting sentimental items and displaying them on shelves or such. I believe Bertito also is a collector of instruments and I wanna say records too.

Porco is partial to posters and probably lil tchotchkes that he's been given by family or friends. (Many from Pieck!)

Speaking of, Pieck --being the artiste and free spirit I hc her to be-- is always picking up lil things that bring her joy or she believes will bring someone else joy. Her dishware and silverware are all eclectic mismatch pieces. Each with its own story probably. As a ceramic and 3D artist, she's made a lot of her own decor but also loves quirky, eccentric things others have made. She'll go out to the store to grab toilet paper and some other essentials and come back home without the toilet paper but a few of the essentials and a giant light fixture or something!

[marmarparadoxa]

Thoughts about Bertholdt’s death

I was rethinking about Bertholdt’s death… handled in only one page, it’s one of the most bleak and cruelest moments.  

When Bertholdt opens his eyes again, he finds himself alone on a roof, limbs severed, and a pure titan (actually, Armin in his pure titan form) leaning toward him, ready to eat what remains of him. Grasping the situation, he sinks into a state of utter terror. He has no way to escape, no limbs to run away, and he will be devoured. 

But instantly he realizes that he’s not alone, that there’s someone else: he sees Jean, Eren, Mikasa, Connie and unconscious Sasha on the next roof, all of his comrades are there. So he asks for help from them, to be saved.

It was so sad. That desperate request finally showed us that Bertholdt truly thought of them as friends. And that’s because of that reason that he called them upon to save him.  At that moment, Bertholdt couldn’t think clearly, his mind blurred with panic. And instinctively, he asks help at the source from where he expects to find it, from the people with whom he has shared the last three years of his life. This thought doesn’t come from Bertholdt the warrior, the role that he’s been forced to take on. This thought arises from Bertholdt himself. Hence, for a moment, he forgot that they were his enemies, which only a few minutes ago he had tried to wipe out. But he turns toward them, and this is what Bertholdt sees, the last sight that his eyes catch before the end:

All of them, his companions, gathered together, spectating the scene, awaiting for him to be devoured, in order to revive another. I think this was the most horrific thing of all. Bertholdt finally becomes aware that his death is a means to revive someone else, actually loved by them, and that nobody will come to save him. 

So in his very last moment, he cries out Annie’s, and lastly, Reiner’s name. The only persons left that he could think about as friends, the only ones left to whom he could still mentally ask for help. But he knows that neither of them will come to save him. During his last moments, not a single ray of consolation and care has sparkled for him, Bertholdt has died completely alone.

[gegengestalt]

Attack on Titan + Evangelion spoilers

Bertholdt and Shinji are so similar it's not funny anymore....;;

- Dark- haired, thin looking teenagers. Polite and formally dressed, regarded as timid and quiet by others.

- No "will of their own", but still very talented at what they do (Shinji being the best pilot, Bert being a powerful Warrior). People call them p*ssies but they're actually... Badasses despite their insecurity (do people forget Shinji had the most Angel kills?).

- Low self- esteem, a tendency to emotionally distance themselves from the people around them and close off. Shinji is canonically depressed, Bert seems depressed (the way I see it, at least) as well.

- They deliberately choose not to make choices of their own due to their own issues and this harms the relationships they have. However, they do find the resolve to make an extremely important choice, even if these choices are in very different situations and have very different outcomes.

- The peak of their development also has a similar theme around nihilism and meaning.

- Both control huge flesh beings (the EVA, the CT) for their fathers and become "gods of destruction" at one point (Shinji becoming God in EoE to trigger the Third Impact).

- Both have some weird- ass dreams.

I usually say Attack on Titan from Bert's POV is literally NGE as a joke, but I never sat down and listed the reasons until now.