#bernard the elf smut

[0kurt0]

Sweet like sugar

Bernard x reader

✧oral sex with Bernard

✧Smut!

✧masterlist here!

Bernard was a very busy elf, being head elf and all. He loved you so much even if he couldn’t be with you all the time. He knew that he wouldn’t be around you when Christmas was near.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to make it to dinner that night. He felt guilty because you had everything planned for tonight, even if you said it was fine he still thought that you were upset with him.

When he got home when Santa came back from delivering all the presents, he went straight home. When he unlocked the door, we didn’t bother taking his shoes off or anything, he went to find you straight away. He found you and smiled, but soon saw the sad look on your face.

“Oh, sugar pie, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.” He said while making his way towards you to hug you and shower you with kisses, “It's okay, I know you're head elf, and with that comes responsibilities, Bernie.” “I know but I'll make it up to you, sugar.” he then moved you so you laid down, and his head was between your legs.

“y-you don't have to do anything,” you said while petting his head while he kissed your thihgs, “please, baby, let me make it up to you.” he continued to give your thighs kisses while he looked up at you with his big brown puppy dog eyes. You just couldn't resist!

“A-alright, Bernie,” He gave you a sweet smile and began to pull your shorts and underwear off. Once he saw how wet you were, he immediately popped a boner. He then started to make out with your wet cunt, tongue fucking you and bullying your cunt.

“A-Ah-! F-fuck, Bernie,” you moaned as you shoved his face deeper into your cunt, but he didn't mind, he needed to make it up to you. He just continued his assault on your cunny until he knew you were about to cum.

“I-I’m gonna c-cum-!” You mewled as he worked his tongue faster and harder, “cum for me, sugar,” you felt the coil in your stomach burst, sending your sweet juices on Bernard’s face.

He happily slurped up your sweet juices like a man in the desert, “m’so sorry, sugar pie. I never mean to make you wait for so long,” he said between kisses to your cunt. “It’s okay, Bernie. I know how stressful being head elf can be and how you need to stay late for work,”

You then moved his curls out of his face to see his beautiful brown eyes, “Merry Christmas, Bernie.” “Merry Christmas, sugar pie.”

[generalkenobee]

what about Bernard the elf and a sugar plum fairy reader? She’s the complete opposite of him and it’s like a rabbit with an angry raccoon

"B-Bernard..I" your hands traveled up to his curls tugging lightly

"you love that don't you? Stupid cock drunk-" he cut himself off with a low grunt throwing his head back as you clenched around him "don't think I didn't feel that, you like being my little cock drunk don't you little one?"

Your grip tightened and you squealed "oh s-sugar plum-" you whined as your tight cunt squeezed his girthy cock, eyes rolling back while you bounced up and down as best you could.

"oh you're just tryna milk me huh? Tiny cunt squeezin' me too goo-" your older boyfriend said, spilling his seed inside you.

[kringletheelf04]

I’m utterly in love with you (smut)

(Chapter 14 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)

Afab version

"I'm so lucky to have you as my soulmate." Bernard says brushing his hand against mine as we make our way down the hallway.

We make it to my room and I open the door, locking it behind us. Dragging us to bed, I make him drop my suitcase. I don't care. All I care about is being here, with him. Pulling him onto my bed I pull my hat off and set it on the side table. I kick my shoes off and he takes his shoes and hat off as well.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever known." I say, linking our hands.

"Cara Mia!" He takes my face in his hands.

"I love you." I smile.

"And I love you." He says pulling me into a passionate kiss.

My hands go to his hair and entangle themselves in it. His tongue swipes my lower lip and I happily oblige. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan gently. One of my hands leaves his hair and trails the tip of his ear. He damn near completely gives out to me. Moaning softly, one hand goes to caress my back. I pull away.

"Is everything ok? We can stop if you need to." He whispers.

"Everything's perfect. I'm afraid I'll wake up any moment to this not being real. I'm utterly in love with you. And if this is real, which I hope it is, I'm ready to take the next step. With you." I barely make out.

"Oh (Y/n)!" He cries, his lips going to my neck.

Gently sucking on the tender skin, I can feel his teeth nip.

"You'll leave a mark." I moan out.

"Good, I want them to know you're mine." He growls.

"Just wait a moment." I say gently pushing him.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Stop asking that. I'll tell you if something's wrong. And things couldn't be more right here." I say.

And in one quick movement my top is on the floor. Standing up I quickly unbutton my pants. Dropping them to the ground, I climb back onto the bed.

"You're beautiful." He gasps awestruck.

"You're the most handsome man I've ever met." I say capturing his lips in mine.

He kisses back hungry. Like a man that's been starved for days. His hand snakes it's way behind me and undoes my bra in one swift movement. Pulling away he tears his shirt off, throwing it to the ground. Like it was keeping me away from him, he pulls his pants down and in one swift motion we are both in our underwear. My bra hangs on by just the straps.

"I'm ashamed. I'm sure I'm not as pretty or attractive as your soulmate should be." I say looking at the floor.

"You're perfect." He says taking my hands in his.

Pulling away, I toss my bra onto a nearby chair. His hands go to my tits, thumbs brushing my nipples. I bite my lip to suppress a moan. I pull him onto the bed and he kneels over me. His eyes roams over my exposed figure, lingering at my nipples. They stick out from the cold and previous stimulation. His eyes lock with mine and I nod.  In a split second his mouth meets my nipple. Gently sucking on one of them, he rubs the other one with the pad of his thumb. My back arches into the bed as I let out a loud moan. He looks at me, not detaching himself. In fact, his tongue circles my nipple and he sucks harder.

"Please!" I cry out.

He released my teased nipple from his mouth and grins at me. "Please what? Come on princess, use your words." He teases, thumbs now rubbing both my nipples.

"More! Need more!" I cry.

My clit is throbbing and I feel like I've absolutely soaked through my panties.

"See. I knew you could do it." He smirks.

His hands trail down my frame to my underwear. His thumb rubs me through the layers.

"My, my, look what we have here. Is this all for me?" He asks.

"For you! Only for you!" I cry, begging for stimulation.

"Why you've made a mess of these, better get them out of the way then." He says, and in one swift motion my underwear are in his hands. His cock throbs through his boxers.

"So wet for me already." He grins, spreading my pussy lips open.

"I know you want this now, but can you hand me your bag?" He asks.

I nod dumbly and reach for my bag. Handing it to him he pulls out a small bag. He opens it and slips something onto his thumb, setting the bags back onto the floor.

"This, is something I've made especially with you in mind." He says.

"What is it?" My voice trembles.

"Well, why don't you lay back and find out?" He asks, pushing me back onto the bed.

A light buzzing can be heard as he clicks a button. I realize it's a vibrator. It's small, but no doubt powerful. I spread my legs and he slips between my thighs. His thumb gently massaging my clit sends waves of pleasure through me. His middle and ring finger slip inside my pussy. Slowly at first, then faster he moves his fingers in an upward motion. Suddenly he stops, just as I'm about to reach my high.

"Can I?" He asks.

"Can you what?" I whine.

"Can I taste you? Please?" He gives me a puppy look.

I nod and he moves down. Taking off the vibrator and handing it to me he props my thighs onto his shoulders. Licking a strip from my hole to my clit, he moans.

"Oh my—!"I cry out.

He takes my clit into his mouth and sucks gently on it. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. My hips rise off of his shoulders momentarily, but he forces me back down. Stoping the sucking, he licks rapidly at my clit. He knows. I'm not gonna last long like this.

"Bernard!" I moan loudly.

His fingers go back into me and as he licks he fingers me. A wave washes over me and I know I'm gonna cum. Pushing his head down, I cum hard and he laps it up. He comes back up and gasps lightly. His cock is at attention. The outline of it makes my mouth water.

"May I?" I ask tugging at his waistband.

He pulls me into a kiss and I can taste myself on his mouth. I palm his cock through his boxers and he moans into me. I flip us around so he's on the bottom.

"Please. It's my first time." He pleads.

"Mine too. But I'm all yours." I grin.

"And I'm yours." He nods.

Pulling off his boxers and throwing them on the floor I take in the glory that is his cock. Precum glistens on the tip and oozes. He's big, but not too big. Maybe seven inches. He's girthy though. Biting my lip, I bend down to it and place a gentle kiss on the tip, my hand not able to reach all the way around it.

"Cara Mia!" He moans.

Gently pumping it, the tip gets more flushed. He's practically melting under my touch and I haven't barely done anything yet. I lick the slit and his breath hitches.

"Please!" He nearly cries.

Taking him into my mouth, my hand pumps what can't fit. Bobbing my head, I start slow. Giving him time to adjust I pick up the pace. He's a moaning mess under me. Just as I'm about to come up, his hands reach into my hair and pushes me down. I gag slightly, but I can take it. His hands guide me up and down. Soon a gurgled sound comes from him and he cums hard into my mouth. It's sweeter than I expected, probably from the candy diet. I swallow and come back up.

"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes.

"It's okay!" I assure him.

That made me even more horny though. I need to know how he feels in me. Squeezing my thighs together, I shift on the bed.

"That's a relief." He sighs.

"Can I—?" I cut myself off.

"Can you what?" He asks.

"Can I— ride you?" I ask bashfully.

"What's that?" He asks, tilting his head.

"You know what a vibrator is, but don't know what riding is?" I ask.

"This is my first time." He shrugs.

"It's when I climb on top of you." I explain briefly.

He doesn't respond, but picks me up and brings me down where my legs are on either side of him and my pussy rests on his chest.

"So yes?" I ask.

"Absolutely." He nods.

I'm already so wet I don't need lube. Lowering myself onto his cock, we both gasp.

"You're so... warm," he groans.

I hover a minute when he grabs my hips and forces my down hard.

"(Y/n)!" He moans loudly.

"Oh!" I gasp.

Slowly I start rolling my hips. He's big enough where he doesn't need to move much to hit all the right spots. After a few moments, I start to bounce up and down on his cock. His hands hold me steady as I go down harder and harder. I lift up almost off of it and slam my pussy down hard onto his cock and he melts under me.

"Please (Y/n)!" He cries, tears of pleasure leaking from his eyes.

Judging by his reaction he's about to orgasm.  I speed up, bouncing up and down and soon he takes over slamming me down onto his throbbing member. With a cry, he cums in me. Warmth fills my cavern but I continue riding out his high.

"Use me!" He cry's out.

"Oh honey, I will." I moan out.

His hand goes to my clit and he starts rubbing circles into it. I can feel my own orgasm building as his second is.

"More please!" I cry as he presses harder, rougher circles into my already throbbing clit.

His cum makes a great lube. Impaling myself over and over again on him, I am almost to bursting from pleasure. Soon I orgasm hard and cum just as hard as he did all over his cock and onto the sheets. His orgasm is mere moments later, but I continue riding him. I never want him to not be in me.  Riding out his high, I chase my second. He stops me.

"How bout we switch, beautiful?" He grins and in a split second I'm laying down with him on top of me.

"Please! Bernard! I need you back in me!" I cry.

And in one quick movement he's inside me. I gasp, he feels even bigger from this angle, if possible. He pounds into me hard and fast. Moaning, I throw my head back. His thumb ghosts over my puffy clit. He circles it gently clockwise. His lips attach to mine and I slip my tongue into his mouth with a moan. I explore every inch of his mouth with my tongue. He goes even faster if possible. Grunting, he moans.

The vibrator is back on his finger and at my clit. Vibrations go through my body and I arch my back. I can feel my orgasm building and he must know it because he's going unbearably slow now.

"Please!" I plead.

"Please what, princess?" He smirks knowingly.

"Please make me cum, sir!" I cry.

"As you wish." He grins.

He grinds down onto me harder. I cum hard. He starts to pull out when I stop him.

"Darling, what are you doing? I'm about to-" he starts as I cut him off.

"In me." I breath.

"What?" He asks.

"Cum in me. I need you!" I wrap my legs around him.

"If you say so." He shrugs and continues pounding into me.

Cumming hard, he groans. Warm semen coats my walls and I groan.  Pulling out, his cum paints my thighs a glittery mess.

"Can I clean you up?" I ask.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I nod and take him into my mouth with one swift motion.

"I didn't think you meant this!" He gasps.

I lick his gorgeous cock clean. I rise up and he pulls me into a soft kiss.

"I love you." He sighs into my shoulder.

"I'm tired." I breath.

"I'm sure you are now!" Bernard jokes.

"Can we take care of this tomorrow?" I ask.

"Of course darling." He says pulling pajama pants on and handing me a pair.

"You better take a shower though." He says.

"I should." I say, nearly collapsing trying to get out of bed.

"Let me help you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you!" He says, picking me up effortlessly.

"Oh!" I gasp.

He carries me to the toilet and sets me on it.

"I'll get you a washcloth instead." He shuffles out.

He comes back with a washcloth and runs it under some warm water. He kneels down and starts to wash his dried seed off of my thighs. After I'm all cleaned up, he carries me back to bed and lays me down. I pull him into bed with me.

"Stay."

"I will"

———————————————————————-

Amab version

"I'm so lucky to have you as my soulmate." Bernard says brushing his hand against mine as we make our way down the hallway.

We make it to my room and I open the door, locking it behind us. Dragging us to bed, I make him drop my suitcase. I don't care. All I care about is being here, with him. Pulling him onto my bed I pull my hat off and set it on the side table. I kick my shoes off and he takes his shoes and hat off as well.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever known." I say, linking our hands.

"Cara Mia!" He takes my face in his hands.

"I love you." I smile.

"And I love you." He says pulling me into a passionate kiss.

My hands go to his hair and entangle themselves in it. His tongue swipes my lower lip and I happily oblige. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan gently. One of my hands leaves his hair and trails the tip of his ear. He damn near completely gives out to me. Moaning softly, one hand goes to caress my back. I pull away.

"Is everything ok? We can stop if you need to." He whispers.

"Everything's perfect. I'm afraid I'll wake up any moment to this not being real. I'm utterly in love with you. And if this is real, which I hope it is, I'm ready to take the next step. With you." I barely make out.

"Oh (Y/n)!" He cries, his lips going to my neck.

Gently sucking on the tender skin, I can feel his teeth nip.

"You'll leave a mark." I moan out.

"Good, I want them to know you're mine." He growls.

"Just wait a moment." I say gently pushing him.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Stop asking that. I'll tell you if something's wrong. And things couldn't be more right here." I say.

And in one quick movement my top is on the floor. Standing up I quickly unbutton my pants. Dropping them to the ground, I climb back onto the bed.

"You're beautiful." He gasps awestruck.

"You're the most handsome man I've ever met." I say capturing his lips in mine.

He kisses back hungry. Like a man that's been starved for days. Standing up abruptly, he tears his shirt off, throwing it to the ground. Like it was keeping me away from him, he pulls his pants down and in one swift motion we are both in our underwear.

"I'm ashamed. I'm sure I'm not as pretty or attractive as your soulmate should be." I say looking at the floor.

"You're perfect." He says taking my hands in his.

Pulling away, I take in his form. His hands go to my chest, thumbs brushing my nipples. I bite my lip to suppress a moan. I pull him onto the bed and he kneels over me. His eyes roams over my exposed figure, lingering at my nipples. They stick out from the cold and previous stimulation. His eyes lock with mine and I nod. In a split second his mouth meets my nipple. Gently sucking on one of them, he rubs the other one with the pad of his thumb. My back arches into the bed as I let out a loud moan. He looks at me, not detaching himself. In fact, his tongue circles my nipple and he sucks harder.

"Please!" I cry out.

He released my teased nipple from his mouth and grins at me. "Please what? Come on sir, use your words." He teases, thumbs now rubbing both my nipples

"More! Need more!" I cry.

My cock is throbbing and I feel like I've absolutely soaked through my boxers.

"See. I knew you could do it." He smirks.

His hands trail down my frame to my underwear. His thumb rubs my tip through the layers.

"My, my, look what we have here. Is this all for me?" He asks.

"For you! Only for you!" I cry, begging for stimulation.

"Why you've made a mess of these, better get them out of the way then." He says, and in one swift motion my underwear are in his hands. His cock throbs through his boxers.

"So hard for me already." He grins, palming my cock.

"I know you want this now, but can you hand me your bag?" He asks.

I nod dumbly and reach for my bag. Handing it to him he pulls out a small bag. He opens it and slips something onto his thumb, setting the bags back onto the floor.

"This, is something I've made especially with you in mind." He says.

"What is it?" My voice trembles.

"Well, why don't you lay back and find out?" He asks, pushing me back onto the bed.

A light buzzing can be heard as he clicks a button. I realize it's a vibrator. It's small, but no doubt powerful. I spread my legs and he slips between my thighs. His thumb gently massaging my tip sends waves of pleasure through me. His other hand begins to jerk me off. Slowly at first, then faster he moves his hand in an upward motion. Suddenly he stops, just as I'm about to reach my high.

"Can I?" He asks.

"Can you what?" I whine.

"Can I taste you? Please?" He gives me a puppy look.

I nod and he moves down. Taking off the vibrator and handing it to me he props my thighs onto his shoulders. Hollowing his cheeks, he takes me into his mouth as he moans.

"Oh my—!"I cry out.

He licks my slit and sucks gently on the tip of my cock. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. My hips rise off of his shoulders momentarily, but he forces me back down. Stoping the sucking, he licks rapidly at my cock. He knows. I'm not gonna last long like this.

"Bernard!" I moan loudly.

His hand goes back to the base of my cock and he bobs up and down on the shaft. A wave washes over me and I know I'm gonna cum. Pushing his head down, I cum hard and he laps it up. He comes back up and gasps lightly. His cock is at attention. The outline of it makes my mouth water.

"May I?" I ask tugging at his waistband.

He pulls me into a kiss and I can taste myself on his mouth. I palm his cock through his boxers and he moans into me. I flip us around so he's on the bottom.

"Please. It's my first time." He pleads.

"Mine too. But I'm all yours." I grin.

"And I'm yours." He nods.

Pulling off his boxers and throwing them on the floor I take in the glory that is his cock. Precum glistens on the tip and oozes. He's big, but not too big. Maybe seven inches. He's girthy though. Biting my lip, I bend down to it and place a gentle kiss on the tip, my hand not able to reach all the way around it.

"Cara Mia!" He moans.

Gently pumping it, the tip gets more flushed. He's practically melting under my touch and I haven't barely done anything yet. I lick the slit and his breath hitches.

"Please!" He nearly cries.

Taking him into my mouth, my hand pumps what can't fit. Bobbing my head, I start slow. Giving him time to adjust I pick up the pace. He's a moaning mess under me. Just as I'm about to come up, his hands reach into my hair and pushes me down. I gag slightly, but I can take it. His hands guide me up and down. Soon a gurgled sound comes from him and he cums hard into my mouth. It's sweeter than I expected, probably from the candy diet. I swallow and come back up.

"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes.

"It's okay!" I assure him.

That made me even more horny though. I need to know how he feels in me. Squeezing my thighs together, I shift on the bed.

"That's a relief." He sighs.

"Can I—?" I cut myself off.

"Can you what?" He asks.

"Can I— ride you?" I ask bashfully.

"What's that?" He asks, tilting his head.

"You know what a vibrator is, but don't know what riding is?" I ask.

"This is my first time." He shrugs.

"It's when I climb on top of you." I explain briefly.

He doesn't respond, but picks me up and brings me down where my legs are on either side of him and I rest on his chest.

"So yes?" I ask.

"Absolutely." He nods.

I prep my hole with lube and I work a finger inside myself. Once ready I begin lowering myself onto his cock, we both gasp.

"You're so... warm," he groans.

I hover a minute when he grabs my hips and forces my down hard.

"(Y/n)!" He moans loudly.

"Oh!" I gasp.

Slowly I start rolling my hips. He's big enough where he doesn't need to move much to hit all the right spots. After a few moments, I start to bounce up and down on his cock. His hands hold me steady as I go down harder and harder. I lift up almost off of it and slam my ass down hard onto his cock and he melts under me.

"Please (Y/n)!" He cries, tears of pleasure leaking from his eyes.

Judging by his reaction he's about to orgasm. I speed up, bouncing up and down and soon he takes over slamming me down onto his throbbing member. With a cry, he cums in me. Warmth fills my cavern but I continue riding out his high.

"Use me!" He cry's out.

"Oh honey, I will." I moan out.

His hand goes to my cock and he starts pumping it. I can feel my own orgasm building as his second is.

"More please!" I cry as he jerks harder and faster, rubbing his thumb on my tip.

His cum makes a great lube. Impaling myself over and over again on him, I am almost to bursting from pleasure. Soon I orgasm hard and cum just as hard as he did all over his chest and onto the sheets. His orgasm is mere moments later, but I continue riding him. I never want him to not be in me. Riding out his high, I chase my second. He stops me.

"How bout we switch, beautiful?" He grins and in a split second I'm laying down with him on top of me.

"Please! Bernard! I need you back in me!" I cry.

And in one quick movement he's inside me. I gasp, he feels even bigger from this angle, if possible. He pounds into me hard and fast. Moaning, I throw my head back. His thumb ghosts over my sensitive head. He circles it gently clockwise. His lips attach to mine and I slip my tongue into his mouth with a moan. I explore every inch of his mouth with my tongue. He goes even faster if possible. Grunting, he moans.

The vibrator is back on his finger and at my cock. Vibrations go through my body and I arch my back. I can feel my orgasm building and he must know it because he's going unbearably slow now.

"Please!" I plead.

"Please what, sir?" He smirks knowingly.

"Please make me cum, master!" I cry.

"As you wish." He grins.

He grinds down onto me harder. I cum hard. He starts to pull out when I stop him.

"Darling, what are you doing? I'm about to-" he starts as I cut him off.

"In me." I breath.

"What?" He asks.

"Cum in me. I need you!" I wrap my legs around him.

"If you say so." He shrugs and continues pounding into me.

Cumming hard, he groans. Warm semen coats my walls and I groan. Pulling out, his cum paints my thighs a glittery mess.

"Can I clean you up?" I ask.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I nod and take him into my mouth with one swift motion.

"I didn't think you meant this!" He gasps.

I lick his gorgeous cock clean. I rise up and he pulls me into a soft kiss.

"I love you." He sighs into my shoulder.

"I'm tired." I breath.

"I'm sure you are now!" Bernard joke.

"Can we take care of this tomorrow?" I ask.

"Of course darling." He says pulling pajama pants on and handing me a pair.

"You better take a shower though." He says.

"I should." I say, nearly collapsing trying to get out of bed.

"Let me help you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you!" He says, picking me up effortlessly.

"Oh!" I gasp.

He carries me to the toilet and sets me on it.

"I'll get you a washcloth instead." He shuffles out.

He comes back with a washcloth and runs it under some warm water. He kneels down and starts to wash his dried seed off of my thighs. After I'm all cleaned up, he carries me back to bed and lays me down. I pull him into bed with me.

"Stay."

"I will"

[moonlightnyx]

Literally, and I cannot be anymore serious, this was the best piece of smut literature I have ever read in my entire smut-reading career that spans about a decade. I congratulate and applaud your time and skill, dear author @simpscripts

Ps. we're just not gonna mention what fandom this is from either...

Additional Tags: Reader-Insert, brat reader, Brat, Smut, Enemies to Lovers, Naughty, Teasing, Light Dom/sub, Christmas Smut, Aftercare, Spanking, Slapping, Light Bondage, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Biting, Pet Names, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Self-Indulgent Tag list in no particular order: @captainannamerica @soupfiction @fandoms-are-my-friends-1321 @simonaes-blog @legendary-maddie @leavemeoutofitkay @carlybow21 @tomiemybeloved @isy1994namjoon

[egotisticaleverything]

Fuck it. It may be November still but-

Bernard requests open. It’s officially time.

[sku1l-b4e]

About Me 🤗

Hello !! This is my intro

(I forgot to post this a while ago...)

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Name : Charlotte

Age : Shh...

Gender : Female - she/her

Nationality : ½ British ½ German

Sexuality : Bisexual

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Languages I speak : English, tiny tiny bit of Spanish + learning German (can't speak my own language ik😞)

Current obsession (s) : Tokio Hotel, The Santa Claus trilogy

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Boundaries !!

(what I will NOT do)

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛ m!reader - I cannot and will not do (sorry)

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛ strip club setting - idk it js makes me uncomfy

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛ smut about ppl under the age of their countries age of consent

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛ child presenting characters

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛ homophobia, racism, ECT - even if it's playful (there might be the f slur at some point but that's it)

I'll add more as I go 🫶🏻

[thempregauthor]

Hi

I write smut and mpreg fanfics about Bernard the elf and many others in the past.

Let me know if you are interested and I’ll make my first post I have a Bernard mpreg ready to go !

[strawberriemalk]

Contemplating if I should block some1 or not.... they didn't do anything just wrote a shmut fanfic of my husband...

okay I do make suggestive jokes and stuff but seeing someone wrote about it made me nearly choke ( my airways hurt )

Im dieing

Help

Chat what do you think??

Update:chat I'm going in and reading it, gonna help me decide to block them or not, dw I know when to stop when I start to spit out my water

Update: didn't even read the 3rd paragrqph I quit. They I have more im scared

[gudfornuthin]

Hiii❤️, are you taking requests for Bernard rn? And if so can you write a Bernard x reader (she/her) where she has a very flirtatious personality and he has a huge crush on her and he lovesss when she’s being that way towards him but when he sees her talk to other people like that he’s kinda jealous and maybe end in some smut ( ofc only if you’re comfortable writing that!<3)

Jealousy looks good on you

Bernard the elf x reader

A/N: ‘tis the season and the Bernard girlies have awakened. I’m shocked at all the support I’ve received from these one shots and I’m so glad to be writing more. This isn’t my best imo, I don’t know where I was going with it so I kinda got carried away, but oh well lol. I have another Bernard request after this one and then I’ll be back to my Beauty and the Beast rewrite. Hope you all enjoy :))

“She’s doing it again.”

“Who?”

“Y/N. She’s flirting with him again.”

“Your obsession with Y/N is becoming a problem.”

This wasn’t the first conversation Curtis and Bernard had had with each other about Y/N. This topic specifically. It was known by the other elves that she was confident, and very blunt when talking to others. That also didn’t stop in the romantic sense. And Bernard knew that. She wasn’t afraid to flirt with him in front of others, and that’s why he loved it so much. It made him feel good. And also slightly embarrassed. Only because he wasn’t used to that sort of attention, especially from a very beautiful girl. He wasn’t great at reciprocating her advances, but he hoped she wouldn’t stop. So far she hadn’t. But a new ‘suitor’ had entered the picture, and Bernard was not happy. Some tall, blue eyed elf that he hadn’t bothered learning the name of was also receiving the flirtatious attention from Y/N, and unfortunately he was much better at dishing it back than Bernard was.

“I’m not obsessed with Y/N,” Curtis rolled his eyes at that remark, “I’m just curious to know why she thinks it’s okay to talk with that guy when they both have a lot of work to do.”

The younger elf snorted. “You don’t seem to have an issue when she’s talking to you and wasting precious work time.”

“You’re not helping,” Bernard huffed, walking away from Curtis and towards the workshop, trying to get the image of Y/N and the tall, blue eyed elf out of his head.

**************************************************************************************

It had been a few hours since his last conversation with Curtis, and Bernard had quickly calmed down, busying himself with tasks he had yet completed for the holiday season. However, it hadn’t helped him get Y/N out of his head. From the constant flirting, to seeing her using that charm on someone else, Bernard was unsure where the relationship stood. Was it all a big joke to her? Had she been leading him on the last few months to mess with him? Before he could dive deeper into his existential dread, a soft voice sounded from behind him.

“Hey handsome.”

Bernard froze slightly, and looked over his shoulder to see Y/N walk through the door, a stack of paperwork in her hands and a bright smile on her face. Glitter on her cheeks and nose, sporting a new dress that glimmered in the light, Bernard thought she looked like an angel ready to be set atop the Christmas tree. He shook himself out of his trance, and smiled tightly back at her, unable to form any words. He quickly turned back around, continuing his sort out of different coloured wrapping paper. It wasn’t usually Bernard’s job, but he needed the distraction, and the wrapping room was a quiet place to come in the evenings.

“Curtis told me you’d be in here and I need you to sign these papers for Santa.”

Y/N held the paperwork out towards Bernard, their fingers touching briefly once he reached out to grab them. He placed them on the side of the desk and mumbled a ‘thanks’ under his breath, barely audible. Y/N let out a small huff and strolled around Bernard, taking in his tense form.

She smiled again. “So. How’s my favourite elf doing?”

Bernard didn’t bother looking up from his work. “He’s very busy at the moment,” his tone dull and unwavering.

A hand suddenly came into the head elf’s view, and hit the desk hard, jolting everything laying on top. Bernard jumped back and looked to the side where Y/N stood with eyebrows raised and her mouth pursed.

“Have I done something to upset you?” She asked, crossing her arms and popping her hip to the side.

Bernard wasn’t sure what to say, nor how Y/N might react. He’d never been great at showcasing his feelings, especially in the romantic sense. But this wasn’t just some random girl he’d found cute once and never interacted with. This was Y/N. One of his closest friends, someone he cared deeply for. Who seemed to care deeply about him too. She was also someone he worked with. The possibility of admitting how he felt, and for her to not feel the same, it would no doubt make things awkward. And he’d hate to ruin what they already have. Even if it killed him to see her flirting with someone else.

“You’ve done nothing, I’ve just had a lot on my plate and I can’t handle any distractions at the moment,” Bernard finally replied, trying to keep his voice level.

“Really?” Y/N bit back, “because I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all day. And since when do you spend time in the wrapping paper room? When Curtis told me you were here, I was worried you might be having a mental breakdown.” She ended with a joke, but part of Bernard knew there was truth behind her words.

The head elf felt himself boiling over. His temper was short, and everyone knew that, but when it came to Y/N he was unusually chill. Her presence was good for him. Not at this moment though. He could feel himself ready to lash out, and he was worried what could be said.

“Do I have to explain everything to you? Can I not spend time alone without you knowing where and what I’m doing every second of every day?”

“I’m sorry I care about you and want to know what you’re up to! Sure you can have all the time you want alone, I just don’t like it when you avoid me completely,” by now, both of their voices were shaking and getting louder.

“I thought you’d want to spend more time with your new tall, blue eyed friend,” Bernard instantly regretted his words.

Y/N opened her mouth but closed it almost instantly, her brow furrowed and confusion clear on her face. “What are you talking about?” her voice now considerably calmer.

Bernard could feel the embarrassment wash over him, desperate to think of some excuse, but coming up short. “This morning, I saw you talking to someone. It looked like he was flirting, and you seemed to be doing the same back,” Y/N’s face softened as she begun to realise what and who the older elf was talking about. “It got to me, okay? It bothered me that you were talking to him in that way when,” a slight pause, “you usually only talk to me that way.”

Y/N shook her head, a confused look returning briefly. “I don’t understand, you never showed any interest in my flirting, why is it bothering you when I do it to someone else.”

“Because I like you!” There it was. That barrier Bernard built high for years, keeping relationships at bay, had just been broken. And he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. “I’m not the best at showing my emotions. Romantically speaking, I’m an amateur at it. And I’m sorry I was never good at reciprocating your advances. I guess it doesn’t matter if it was just a joke to you.”

Y/N reached out quickly, grabbing Bernard’s hand and holding it close to her. “It was never a joke to me. I just didn’t think you liked me in that way so I stopped. Thought I’d try with someone else to help me move on from you.” She moved a step forward, standing toe to toe. “I knew it would never work. You’re the only person I truly care about, in that way.”

Bernard was speechless. He couldn’t stop staring into her eyes, brimmed with emotion but full of love. He mostly felt like an idiot. Never taking the chance before now to make a move or admit how he felt. He finally felt at peace. Like everything had finally worked out.

“What now?” Bernard awkwardly questioned, placing his hands on Y/N’s hips.

“I think you should probably kiss me before someone else does,” She jested back.

They both laugh and lean in, Y/N’s hands going to hold the head elf’s face. The kiss deepened, Y/N moving her left hand to the back of Bernard’s head, tugging slightly at his curls. This elicited a deep moan from Bernard’s throat, his pants growing tighter, as he tugged Y/N somehow closer to him and towards the desk still covered with wrapping paper.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” Y/N mumbled out between wet kisses.

Bernard moved to sucking her neck, most definitely leaving bruises. “I don’t know. But I never want to stop.”

They continued making out, Y/N feeling the desk behind her and sliding on top, pulling Bernard in between her legs. She felt him growing harder, and slowly moved her hand down, palming at the front of his pants. Bernard couldn’t help but whimper slightly, gripping the side of the desk as well as Y/N’s thigh. Keeping one hand on his hard on, she moved her other back up and unbuttoned his shirt, rubbing her hand in circular motions on his chest. Bernard followed soon after, taking hold of the bottom of her shirt and lifting it over her head. The couple continued kissing and touching anywhere they could reach, seeming to care little to none about the door still being open, or whether someone walked by and found them in their current predicament. They were just glad to have finally admitted how they felt. In the back of his head, Bernard reminded himself to thank that tall, blue eyed elf for bringing out the jealousy in him.

(Sorry it seems to cut short, I’m terrible at writing smut or intimate stuff but I hope you all enjoyed anyways :))

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: I have been meaning to do this, put it off for way too long.

PT 1

|| Superhero Related ||

Dc / Marvel / Gen V

bodyworshipping the DC Boys- @angelltheninth

Imagine Jordan switching from their delicate fem form fingers to their thick long masculine fingers- @poppy-metal

Jordan Li Hc / Blurb- @lavend3r-stardust

Sex with Jordan- @inklore

Jordan Li smut- @poppy-metal

Bucky Barnes Smut- @angelltheninth

Surprise || Jordan Li Smut || - @ebonyenvy

Imagine giving Jordan Li a lap dance - @poppy-metal

Venom Smut- @val-made-a-mistake

Gorgeous || Older Damian Wayne || - @youwerenevermeanttofeelalone

Auburn Traditions || Older Damian Wayne ||- @glorified-red

Help me! help you || Dick Grayson Smut ||- @tetzoro

Dick Grayson smut- @lustingbones

Batboys as things that go bump in the night- @chikaras-garden

Public sex / sex pollen || Dick Grayson ||- @uc1wa

𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 || Damian Wayne ||- @thesuperiorrobin

Nights like these || Jordan Li ||- @inklore

Jordan Li smut blurb- @poppy-metal

Take the reins || Venom smut ||- @val-made-a-mistake

Venom fucking the reader- @randomoutsiders

let me help you || tasm!peter parker x reader ||- @the-plum-soldier

Spell Gone Wrong || John Constantine || - @c-nstantine

imagine bunny!reader with wolverine- @inkdrinkerworld

|| Anime / Animated show's and movies ||

|| Gaming ||

Astarion Getting Aroused by Your Blood- @angelltheninth

Duskwood boys: their favorite way to pick up/carry you around- @hacked-by-jake

Duskwood boys:Reaction to you calling them babe. - @hacked-by-jake

How they’d be with pregnant reader: Headcanons with Lin Kuei brothers- @seraphmeraph

Web of faith || Kar'niss ||- @hrefna-the-raven

mk1 men breaking the bed/headboard while fucking you- @visionsofmagic

mk1 men when they get hard in public because of you- @visionsofmagic

car sex - johnny silverhand- @buryustogether

|| Live Action show's and Movie's ||

Pyramid Head Chases You Down and Fills You Up- @angelltheninth

Michael Afton when You're Pregnant- @angelltheninth

Infertile elder yautja- @mintymarabell

corio x reader but he has an insane breeding and lactation kink- @slvthrs

Corio with a breeding kink- @slvthrs

Corio blurbs- @lucilleslore

cockwarming Corio- @lucilleslore

Possessive Bernard the elf with a pregnant human!Reader - @herbalsingularitea

Sleepless Nights { spencer reid smut }- @strawbeerossi

Distance (David Rossi x Ex!Reader)- @villain-apolog1st

Lunch Break (David Rossi x Reader)- @villain-apolog1st

Beefy Bucky- @buckyalpine

James Wilson x reader- @pomegranateshrimp

Every Single Day ( Spencer Reid fluff ) - @astrophileous

All I Need ( Spencer Reid )- @incognit0slut

how dilf!jake gives his girl head- @pearlsinmyhair

house boys + how they kiss you- @cyberstrm

Peeta with a breeding kink- @peetaslefttoe

Mike Schmidt smut- @redskull199987

[0kurt0]

Candy canes

✧Bernard x reader

✧Bernard master bating to a picture of reader

✧Smut!

✧very short!

✧masterlist here

Bernard had recently developed a crush on you. He would always steal glances at you and blush whenever you were near.

Lately, Bernard was having problems.. down there. He would always pop a boner when you were close to him. He would always try to relieve himself

While Bernard was looking at all the elf documents, he came across yours and looked at your picture.

He started to feel his pants tighten and he sighed and took his cock out, “maybe just this once, just to relieve myself.”

He then took his throbbing member into his hands and started to stroke himself, slowly at first.

“F-Fuck, y/n.” he moaned out as he looked at your picture, he bit his lip, thinking about you stroking him.

He started to have shallower breaths as he stroked himself faster and faster, wanting to cum ao badly.

He covered his mouth to stifle his moans so no one would hear him from his office. He knew no one would really come in since everyone was busy, but the thrill of getting caught just quickened his orgasm.

His orgasm came crashing down on him as he looked at your picture one last time. He looked down to see his cum all over his hand and sweater, “I’m so desperate.”

[how-serene]

❀ REQUEST RULES ❀

Requests are currently CLOSED

General Rules -

Please be kind, and patient when sending in a request. I have a life outside of this blog, but will do my best to upload your request as soon as Im able to. Sending in a prompt or idea will immensely help me, so keep that in mind. I also will deny a request if I am not comfortable with it. (Minors Don’t Interact)

What I WILL write - Light smut, Angst, Fluff, Yandere, Reader Death, Platonic!Reader, Fem!Reader, Neutral!Reader

What I will NOT write - Heavy smut, OC x Character, Character x Character, Abuse, Rape, SA, Mommy/Daddy kinks

Lists of who I write for down below.

David Dastmalchian List - Bob Taylor, Abner Krill, Johnson (Reprisal), Jack Delroy, James Lewis, Kurt Goreshter, Piter De Vries, Wojchek, Thomas Schiff.

Slasher List - Brahms Heelshire, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Pinhead, Eric Draven, The Lost Boys, Jack Torrance, Eric Binford, Norman Bates, Killer Klowns.

Final Girls/Boys - Sidney Prescott, Randy Meeks, Laurie Strode, Ash Williams, Ellen Ripley, Jess Bradford, Julie James, Helen Shivers, Ray Bronson, Emerald Haywood, Wendy Torrance, R.J. MacReady, Michael Emerson, Star (Lost boys).

Others - Eddie Munson, Dano!Riddler, Twin Peaks (all characters), Bernard The Elf, Charlie Eppes.

Will also write for ALL Dead By Daylight characters.

If you don't see someone on the list, but are curious if I will write for them, feel free to ask me.

<3

[faeblehaven]

Tricks or Cheer

Rating - M (eventual smut)

Pairing - Bernard the Elf/Original Female Character

Status - In Progress

Summary:

When strange occurrences start happening around the North Pole of the spooky a certain holiday spirit is brought in to help calm things down. Bernard is less than pleased to have a spirit who he assumes will be just as bad as Jack Frost staying at the North Pole over the busy season but sparks fly between the two and Bernard learns she's quite cheerful and just as fond of Christmas as she is her own holiday.

[herbalsingularitea]

Til Death We'll Be Freezing (COMPLETE)

Rating - M (adult themes, no smut)

Pairing - older!Bernard the elf x Female OC

Status - Complete (7/7)

Story Summary - Every elf lives with an incessant prickling at their back, Cupid’s arrow waiting to strike the moment they’ve found their mate. Bernard was sure he’d met his long ago, and together they lived a beautiful life. But after his wife passes away and he finds himself feeling lost in a small town cafe, the prickling returns.

Soulmate AU with a twist. What is free will, exactly?

Chapter 7 - That I'm Never Leaving

Tumblr hates links so you can find the AO3 link to this chapter on my pinned masterlist!

[sku1l-b4e]

Guys send me requests please 😭

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do a “The Santa Clause” fic where the reader is Santa’s human daughter, and falls in love with Bernard, and they have a relationship and eventually have a child together (smut would be highly appreciated). I think a half human/half elf baby would be awesome.

Also, if you don’t mind, I think it would be interesting to see that Santa knows his daughter gets pregnant, but doesn’t know who the father is and assumes it’s some human back home, and the reader’s mother sends her to The North Pole to make sure the reader can’t be around “the father” because she assumes it’s a human. Then Santa gets surprised when the baby is born at The Pole and is clearly half elf, and the truth has to come out.

I think this is such a cute idea, but I don’t do pregnancy stuff, I’m sorry!!

I’ll definitely add to my pinned post what kind of stuff I will/won’t write for the future though, I hadn’t thought of that.