#beniago baenre

[novarex]

Allright, I'm doing DROW SMASH OR PASS, Legend of Drizzt and Waf of the Spider Queen characters. I've seen this back in the tags and I want to play.

Drizzt Do'Urden - PASS - idk, he's not really my type, and he's just a little bit boring. It would also feel wrong somehow, and I don't know how to explain it. I mean... I wouldn't say no if he asked, but Cattie-Brie would have to be dead and I'd probably ask if he's sure like 10x.

Jarlaxle Baenre - SITUATIONAL - Don't get me wrong, he's lovely, but his personality is too close to mine, and there isn't enough air in one room for the both of us. But get me drunk, and I'd do it for sure.

Gromph Baenre - SMASH - Slamming the smash button until it breaks. If you know me at all you know I'm in love with this pathetic wizard man. He is both brilliant and stupid, and just the right amount of sarcastic, arrogant, sad, and pathetic. I would marry him. He wouldn't get a moment of peace because I'd be trying to entice him into bed 24/7. It's like he was written specifically for me to fall in love with. When he went missing in WOTSQ, I would have turned the city to rubble and made the rivers run red with blood looking for him. I know Cattie-Brie was pissy about the suggestive fantasies he put in her head with psionics, but I would literally learn psionics just to play a game of horny thoughts tag all day.

Zaknafein Do'Urden - SITUATIONAL - a bit too self righteous for my taste, and I think I'd probably get on his nerves. But I'd never turn down that legendary dick if I had a few shots in me. He's got some anger issues I'd prefer to steer clear of.

Kimmuriel Oblodra - PASS - I just don't think he'd be into it. I would also be incredibly uncomfortable with him having that much access to my thoughts. Unless, of course, he's into the wild fantasies that my brain cooks up...and in that case... we might turn this into a smash.

Rai'gy Bondalek - PASS - Strong possibility that he'd just make me self conscious. He's certainly intriguing, but he'd hate me for sure.

Dinin Do'Urden - SMASH - Dinin, my love. I would scoop him up and take him to a cottage in the woods and make sure his belly is full and his balls are empty and have all of his babies. I would brutally torture and maim anyone who ever dared to hurt him. I would burn cities to ash and end bloodlines for him. Dinin deserves so much better. I'm desperate for more Dinin, especially after the events of Lolth’s Warrior.

Rizzen Do'Urden - SMASH - I'd keep him as a pet. What malice did to him is unforgivable.

Nalfein Do'Urden - SMASH - I don't even know why other than he's pathetic in thre way that I like.

Beniago Baenre - SMASH - He's adorable. I would insist on him in his natural drow form, however. I bet he's a good lover too. In One Eyed Jax, Jarlaxle teases him a bit because he's definitely into human women. He smart, personable, and he definitely knows how to please a woman.

Braelin Janquay - SMASH - He deserves everything. I find him irresistibly adorable. He's spent more of his life outside of Menzoberranzan than in and has a pretty strong disdain for Lolthian culture. He is smart and clever and Jarlaxle adores him. Braelin has also suffered a lot and remains so loyal to Jarlaxle. Everything about him is attractive to me. He has quickly rocketed to my 3rd favorite, with Gromph as my #1 and Dinin as a very close #2.

Valas Hune - SMASH - I feel like we might genuinely get along. He'd be good to go camping with somewhere far from everyone else. I really thrive with one on one interactions, especially someone who needs personal space too.

Ravel Xorlarrin - PASS - He's such a fucking little booger. I might have liked him more if not for what he did to his brother/sire (it's just so fucked up what Matron Zeerith Xorlarrin did to Brack'thal after Horroodissmoth died). I just can't get over him in Charon's Claw. I want to slap him until he cries.

Brack'thal Xorlarrin - SMASH - Ok, I know he's only in one book (Charon's Claw) but he checks all of the "he's pathetic and tragic in all the right ways" boxes. His whole story makes me want to swoop him up and carry him off. Charon's Claw starts off so strong with him being kicked around that I just immediately wanted to protect him. His whole story just has me in a grip. It's really a shame we only got one book of him.

Tiago Baenre - HARD PASS - Fuck no. No way. I mean maybe if it gave me the opportunity to cut his throat, then I would make that sacrifice. He's the only irredeemable fuck face I can't find anything to like about. I'd kick him in the nuts.

Dantrag Baenre - SMASH - He definitely knows how to fuck. He's big too, which would be extra fun. I also have a weakness for Baenre boys.

Berg'inyon Baenre - SMASH - He seems like he'd know what he's doing, and if he didn't, he'd learn real quick.

Pharaun Mizzrym - SMASH - Let me be clear... I would not trust him at all. But come on, you know that sex has to be amazing. He knows what he's doing, is so good that he's an arrogant shit about it, and you'll definitely have a lot of orgasms. You know your legs won't work for a week after. There's a reason he's such a pain in Gromp's ass and it's because he's a wildly competent shitass.

Ryld Argith - MAYBE - He's just so practical it hurts. He also just doesn't seem to care that much about anyone other than Pharaun.

Nimor Imphrazel - SMASH - Half drow half dragon rabble rouser? Absolutely sign me the fuck up.

Allright. I'm not sure if I've missed anyone.

Tagging @vspin, @grandma-kei, @drizztdohurtin, and anyone else who wants to play. Feel free just to do the ones you know or add to it. I know I just did dudes.

[cthulhu-cat]

[defnotjarlaxle]

Waterdeep: Dragon Heist game has been running for four days now!

So new art of me boy, Zaynas Kurth. Yes, that Kurth.

[lawful-evil-novelist]

You know I bet half the reason Jarlaxle doesn’t have a gun of his own in Dragon Heist isn’t that he doesn’t need one.

It’s probably that Beniago and Kimmuriel wouldn’t let him have one and the three gunslingers were told in no uncertain terms they were not to give him theirs.

[rukafais]

beniago doesn’t get paid enough for this

[seanofbeankeep]

Jarlaxle really is the only normal Baenre with their shit together. Like he had his quirks but is pretty grounded and in control in comparison with the others.

He must have some days where he’s glad he got outcast and no one knows his last name. Beniago also pretty good too but only because he works closely with Jarlaxle

[biichama]

Everyone is doing drow smash or pass, so now it's my turn.

(Note: I am assuming that by smash we mean a no-strings bang of some sort and am answering accordingly. My answers for dating these assholes would be very different.)

JARLAXLE - AUTO SMASH - The man, the myth, the legend. He's an extremely good-looking older man, with plenty of experience, and a taste for the dramatic. He'd show me an amazing time and I bet I could convince him to do some delightfully sexy roleplay. Smash, smash, smash.

KIMMURIEL - SMASH - Sure, the man has big demi energy but like... if we made it as far as bed, we're probably pretty chill with each other. Also, like, he's got telekinesis. (Plus high chance of a threesome with Jarlaxle.)

RAI'GY - CONDITIONAL SMASH - Said condition being that Kimmuriel is there and is domming the fuck out of him while we bang. Look, we all have our kinks.

VALAS - SMASH - Quiet competency is underrated.

ZAKNAFEIN - SMASH - Would I enter into a long term relationship with Zaknafein? Not until he works out his issues. Would I have a one night stand? Oh hell yes. Dab'nay had no complaints, I can vibe with his desire to talk philosophy afterwards, and honestly after everything he went through with Malice, he's probably just happy to be with someone who cares about him enjoying things too.

BENIAGO - SMASH - The man is a lifestyle RPer and there's something delightful freaky about that. Plus, like @bramblepatch , I wanna know if the earrings stay on.

DRIZZT - PASS IF SOLO, SMASH WITH CATTI - I'm not going to be a homewrecker but I am up for a good threesome.

GROMPH - RELUCTANT SMASH - By all rights he should be an auto pass but he's got that Baenre unhinged motherfucker energy and while I would not want to be in an actual relationship with him, I'd probably do him once out of curiosity.

DININ - SMASH - From what I saw of him and Aleandra, it looks like they had a good time and honestly I've got a soft spot for him.

In conclusion, I am very weak to drow. (Or maybe just Bob Salvatore characters.)

[bramblepatch]

picking up @solvicrafts' open invitation for drow smash or pass

Jarlaxle: Smash. He's experienced, experimental, very into good consent and casual hookups. I'm not a middle-aged man who murders to cope so he's not gonna get hung up on me. Should be a good time.

Kimmuriel: Pass. Honestly he doesn't strike me as likely to be terribly engaged, at least for a casual fling. Man's got other things on his mind which I respect but also, I'd rather he not bring that to bed.

Rai'gy: Pass. Look even if he's not in a murdery mood I'm not into being called iblith.

Valas: Pass. Ok, yes, Valas is great, I love Valas. However, bii volunteered him to be the father of the punkass teen half-drow ranger I'm gonna be playing in a game she's running later this summer so now it's like. I can't fuck Leigh's dad. That'd be weird.

Zaknafein: Pass. I don't feel qualified to deal with his massive trauma related to sex and relationships.

Beniago: Smash. Honestly I'm really curious as to whether The Earring Stays On when I already know he's drow. How much of a humanboo is this elf. How dedicated is he to the pirate mayor of pirate town persona.

Drizzt: Pass, but tentative smash if it's both him and Catti-brie. Not looking to get between them but I'm open to getting between them if you know what I mean.

Gromph: Smash. I'm not proud but yeah I'd hit that. Looking at this list I am realizing that maybe I'm just into Baenres.

Dinin: Smash. Dumbass king of self-advocacy. He's honestly a pretty nice guy for a drow and I feel like he'd be good about communicating.

Not gonna tag anyone in particular bc I'm not sure who's interested and hasn't done it yet but if you wanna do the meme consider yourself tagged!

[novarex]

Dungeons & Drow

Hello! Some of you already know, but I created a Discord server for Nere - I always intended to open it up to all drow related discussion as I became more obsessed with the Drizzt books - and finally got around to it.

Feel free to join if you would like to be a part of the Drow SIMPosium!

https://discord.com/invite/zUBvTHhr

[defnotjarlaxle]

He's just a little guy!

[defnotjarlaxle]

Uh.. So Zaynas met Soluun and got threatened immediately.. hmm i get the feeling Soluun doesn't like half-elves very much~

[cthulhu-cat]

I played a thrilling game of Smash or Pass: Drow Ver.. with @lawful-evil-novelist and here are my personal results:

Let's just forget the racism for now, my fellow ibliths

Jarlaxle - most likely Smash, but I'm paranoid he might leave me in the morning without saying anything, so we'd have to go on a date or two so I can gauge his interest and likelihood of him doing that

Kimmuriel - maybe Smash? I like him but he wouldn't like me, so we should go on a date or two so he can ease up and hopefully like me more. He will 100% hear the circus clown meme music playing on loop playing in my head on our date.

Rai'Guy - Pass. He naturally rubs me the wrong way and he's grumpy and not even in an amusing way to me personally.

Valas - Smash, I say as I immediately slam my hand on the buzzer that signals a Yes in this dating show I made up in my head.

Zaknafein - Smash. I get that he has a drinking problem and anger issues but I'm willing to look past that based on how much of a DILF he is.

Beniago - Smash. Seems one of the most friendly of Bregan D'aerthe and seems like a nice guy overall. He also seems entertaining without running the risk of being obnoxious like Jarlaxle.

Drizzt - respectful Pass. He's just not my type. He's a little too serious for my taste.

Gromph - possibly a Smash but he's on thin fucking ice. Probably one of the most insufferable but he's got that classy man appeal. He needs to take me on at least five dates and then I'll make my decision.

I left out some, ofc to make this fairly short. I invite @rukafais @kimmurielscryingmirror and anyone else they want to invite (if at all, I get some people have different sexualities and some do not wish to disclose publicly)

Please add more characters if you want

[solvicrafts]

I love how not even 5 minutes into the One-Eyed Jax (audible exclusive) Jarlaxle's talking to Beniago like "hey man I heard you're gettin' it on with humans!"

[lawful-evil-novelist]

I need to share that I don’t currently know why Jarlaxle even hires Artemis in the Modern AU today’s list of options is

“You didn’t apply for the job of personal assistant but I like your grumpy face so you’re hired.”

“Hey quick question how do you feel about kids?  What if I paid you an unnecessary amount of money to watch one?  No, not my kid, I have emergency custody of my nephew.”

“I need someone to stand around a bar pretending to drink to make sure my front of house manager doesn’t harass my bartender because I like them individually but they hate each other and I’m trying to run an establishment where the employees don’t stab each other.  You look about as scary as both of them and I’m out of options.”

TLDR Jarlaxle just wants to give Artemis a job, the nature of the job is irrelevant he wants an excuse to give him money.

[lawful-evil-novelist]

Design Notes: Variskander “Varis” Baenre

No Instructions

In No Instructions, Varis is three years old.  He’s small for his age by human standards, but still looks convincingly three.  Though most people can’t tell at this age, Varis looks a lot like his father.  Varis’ eyes are bright green and his hair is white.  Ilnezhara keeps his hair in a low ponytail, which is the most her very restless toddler will tolerate.  Varis has dark gray skin with a neutral undertone, and currently he is just starting to grow scales, mostly situated around his cheekbones and temples.  They have no color presently but are slightly iridescent.

Varis’ clothes are kind of simple owing to him being three and kind of messy.  He does often carry a stuffed toy with him, early on it’s a small owlbear plush called Kiwi, but he switches it out for a gift from Jarlaxle: a black velvet cave bat plush he names Zee.  Zee is enchanted so Jarlaxle can easily locate it, both to keep Varis from losing Zee and to keep Jarlaxle from losing Varis.

The Smiling One

Varis is ten in The Smiling One, significantly older than he is in No Instructions and that definitely shows.  He’s still small for his age, standing at a height more suited to a boy of nine than ten, and tends to be rather thin.  His hair is longer, roughly at chest-length, and kept up in a high ponytail.  His hair has some small braid decorations, which either Beniago or Jarlaxle puts in depending on who helps with his hair.  It’s much more noticeable now how much Varis resembles his father.

Varis’ scales have also grown, covering his temples, ears, and cheekbones in bigger patches and marking his shoulders, knees, elbows, hips, and spine in smaller patches.  These markings have started to take on a ruddy copper color, but still have their juvenile iridescence.

Also noteworthy is that this is about the age that Varis gets his first set of earrings.  I tend to worldbuild the idea that elves mark important events with ear piercings and it definitely leaked into my fanfiction work.  In this case, Varis learns to properly use magic without an item early in his tenth year and Jarlaxle considers this important enough for Varis’ first piercing.  Varis’ first set of earrings are gold hoops that resemble his father’s.

Ten is one of the last few years of Varis fully idolizing Jarlaxle and Artemis so his clothing tends to mimic his father’s tailored shirts and waistcoats.  Jarlaxle is very much encouraging this mimicry so I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a few matching outfits.

Varis also starts carrying a smallsword for self-defense around age seven and Jarlaxle and Beniago are slowly teaching him how to fight.  A smallsword is something of a shorter, lighter rapier, and much like the rest of Varis’ clothing at this age, the smallsword is gold-hilted and looks a lot like Jarlaxle’s rapier (albiet a little less flashy, he is ten).

While the smallsword is vital, Jarlaxle tends to impress on Varis the value of his cloak, which is a cloak of invisibility.  The cloak is a simple black cloak with a color-shifting lining, and the threading is slightly iridescent in the light.  The clasp of the cloak is a Baenre House Token, which used to belong to Dantrag, hence why it's functional.  Varis can use it but doesn’t like levitating very much (in his words, “it’s like very sad flying”).

Varis still carries around Zee, but now is a bit more aware of Zee’s enchantments and has learned he can go places without Jarlaxle knowing if he just leaves Zee in his room.  What Varis has not figured out, however, is that Jarlaxle knows people who can cast location spells to find him, and that Zee is mostly for convenience.