#benefit album

[valentinsylve]

Doom to the Pipeline!

Stop MVP and help our brave tree and water defenders!

All proceeds from the sale of this compilation are donated to the Appalachian Legal Defense Fund in support of people fighting against the construction of the Mountain Valley Pipeline.

All tracks by Appalachian musicians <3

[mftm1987]

the world we live in and live in hamburg | 17 mp3 files - ~1:20:00

[cassiaslair]

from i prevail's album, trauma ( 2019 ). slightly modified to fit dialogue prompts. if it's in parentheses, feel free to omit it.

bow down.

get on your knees & bow down.

i come alive, i'll survive, take on anything.

so paint a target on my back, let 'em come to me.

i'm on another level that you'll never reach.

if you seek forgiveness, you'll get nothing from me.

you will never know, it's the price i pay.

look into my eyes, we are not the same.

i'm in control, & you'll know my name.

i gave my life, gave it everything.

the best of your best ain't good enough.

keep running your mouth, & i'ma call your bluff.

so... i had this dream, it meant everything, & i watched it come alive.

i let you in, underneath my skin, & i learned to love the lies.

now i lay awake & i contemplate... have i become what i hate?

would you go to war? would you die for it?

paranoid.

something isn't right, i feel it in my bones.

every time i look around, it follows me home.

i get so stressed out when my head gets loud.

all this emptiness inside, i can't fill the void in my mind.

sometimes i just wanna die (wish that i could tell you why).

is it all inside my head?

i just can't escape the noise.

i think i'm paranoid.

every time you leave.

all i ever wanted was to find someone.

holding it together is the hardest part.

every time you leave, i lose a little piece of me.

every time we speak, words don't do it justice.

it's just us from here.

finishing the puzzle is the hardest part.

everyday wishin' you could stay, 'cause our minds may change, but our hearts remain.

i can't believe you gotta go away again.

if you ever start to hesitate & you feel the weight, it starts to break.

we're not the same; know that this means everything to me.

no one said life gets in the way.

rise above it.

i've been patiently waiting, tying my stomach in knots.

i've been lost in the moment, going to war with my thoughts.

if you're feeling the pressure, the pressure's all that i got.

so if you think you're ready, i'm here to tell you you're not.

you're in over your head.

i'll be damned if i ever let you get me again.

i will stop at nothing 'cause i was made to rise above it.

one of these days, everyone will know (but for now i stand alone).

i count my enemies like trophies.

i've got nothing left to prove.

when i look at you, all i see are trophies.

i'm not afraid to put it all on the line (like it runs in my veins).

you cannot stop me, so don't even try.

breaking down.

i think... i think too much.

i'm a little bit paranoid.

i think i'm breaking (down).

maybe it's in my blood.

hate every single second, minute, hour, every day.

everybody's out to get you.

every time they ask me, i just tell 'em that i'm fine.

i try to hide my demons, but they only multiply.

everybody fucking hates you.

i say i'm feeling hopeless, but no one's listening.

i don't really like myself.

DOA.

on our knees, we pray as we waste away.

we dig our grave, dead on arrival.

i close my eyes & contemplate on why i chose to be great.

i find myself trying to escape from where i'm supposed to be safe.

maybe i should pray like i'm supposed to be saved.

sometimes i feel like getting even, but i choose to behave.

i'm mentally locked in a prison (& i need bail).

i wish i was more flourished. i wish i had more courage.

i wonder if it's all worth it (i wonder...).

dead is the land of the free.

am i not worth saving?

gasoline.

let's burn it fucking down.

back from the dead to tell you that i'm alive.

killed the old way (but i survived).

fuck the blueprint.

death or exile, you decide.

tell 'em all that i made my name.

now it's mine to send up in flames.

this right here is as far as you go.

this right here is where i lose control.

burn it all down, i don't give a fuck.

fuck what they say, fuck everything.

kill it all (kill everything).

nothing but red inside when i close my eyes.

break or bow down, you decide.

tell 'em all that you can't be saved.

tell 'em all that you dug this grave.

learn to live in this mess you made.

hurricane.

tell me i was never good enough.

remind me of the demons that i've been running from.

tell me who the hell you thought i was.

just blame it on the person, the person i've become.

lately, i don't give a fuck.

i can't be myself when i'm with anyone.

(&) maybe, i'm already gone.

i'll never be the same.

it hit me like a hurricane.

i don't know why i drown my mind (in everything they say).

it got the best of me.

tell me that i'm lost inside my mind.

i reach out, but it's pulling me under.

remind me i've been searching for something i won't find.

tell me i was never worth the time.

just blame it on the person you think i left behind.

look into my eyes.

believe me that the storm is coming.

let me be sad.

i'm holding back right now.

('cause) i'm numb to what's around.

i miss the life i used to have (with you right here).

now everything is turning grey.

i'm blacking out the shades for now.

let me be sad.

let me be sad, even for a little while. just a chance to catch my breath.

let me be sad, even for a little while, 'cause it's all that i have left.

can you see it in my eyes, i've been distant?

i can't tell if it's the end or the beginning.

i know i haven't been myself, i'll admit it.

i put up walls so if i burned any bridges, just know i'm doing everything i can to try & fix it (but knowing me i'll probably miss it).

these voices get so vicious.

feels like i'm ripping stitches.

i wish some days i could go back (before life changed, it was so fast).

that time is gone, & i know that (so please, let me be sad).

when all i see are memories, i don't wanna lose a thing.

low.

i'm so damn low.

i can't lie, i'm falling (the floor gave out again).

the walls are caving in.

i've got these voices in my head.

i don't know why i'm broken.

my world is sinking in.

they tell me that i'm not enough.

is it my time?

even when i'm high, i still feel low.

voices in my head won't leave me alone.

i keep falling.

i'm in over my head again.

i'm on my own, i know it.

i think i'm too far gone to save.

i can't let go. i'm holding, i feel it slip away.

the more they say, the more they cut.

i'm hanging by a thread (don't know if i let go).

i'm doing everything i can to fix the problem.

this is how it feels when you hit rock bottom.

deadweight.

i'm cutting out the deadweight.

let me take a second to get this through to you.

it's time you get put in the rearview.

cut ties, there's nothing left to your lies, i'm seeing right through.

let me lay it out so it's clear for you to see.

i'm done with the ones that don't believe.

i'm cutting out the ones who drag me down.

all this negativity weighing down on me.

admit it's so pathetic to think i'd carry you.

i'd rather watch all the lows you sink to.

now i can see what you're really all about.

turn your back & run your mouth.

i laugh at all the time you wasted.

you're bitter, i can fucking taste it.

so if you think that you can drag me down, it's gonna come back around.

keep it up, motherfucker (i'll cut you out).

i don't belong here.

'cause i don't belong here.

those days, it was all i wanted.

nowadays, it feels all the same.

used to stare at my bedroom ceiling wishing everything would change.

now it's hard when you're always searching for the life that you left behind.

time disappears, year after year.

how the hell did i get here?

i feel so far away.

minutes turn to hours & the hours into days.

i gave up everything.

you don't know what you got until you throw it all away.

looking back on the past, all the time i wasted...

i'm running from everyone that tells me that i'm fading out.

must be mistaken 'cause i don't feel anything.

you know i got this brain, it drives me insane.

some days i feel i can't take the pain.

i can't explain it 'cause i don't need anything.

[lilidawnonthemoon]

[gay-barbarian]

To stay in your arms

So I might have written a Swan/Ajax fic. I wanted it to be romantic but instead they just spend the night together and are too bad with feeling to actually talk about it. Ajax, alcohol and Swan dancing at the club equals the beginning of something more

“Okay maybe I do think Swan is hot, but it means nothing other than I have functioning eyes” said Ajax to Cochise one day at the club they had spent the night at. Ajax was nursing her drink, clearly very drunk all ready. Her eyes were fixated on Swan’s body dancing with Cowgirl a bit farther. Swan wasn’t usually the kind of girl that went on the dancefloor in these kinds of places but alcohol and a little convincing by Cowgirl went a long way. She had taken her vest off a few minutes ago claiming she was getting too hot, leaving her in a black tank top that perfectly showed her brawler frame. If you asked Ajax, taking the vest off just made her hotter. Ajax didn’t know if it was Swan’s natural athleticism or something, but damn could the girl move well for someone who didn’t dance.

Cochise let out a loud laugh and slapped Ajax back “I knew it, you so wanna be with the second in command!”

Ajax glared at her “keep your voice down for god sake! I never said I wanted to be with her. She’s so annoying with her pretty face and stupid sexy voice, like who talks like that for real? All gravelly and shit. Of course she has a really nice ass especially in these pants but… ” Ajax was staring again. “What was I saying?”

Cochise smiled at her friend “How annoying Swan is”

“Yea” Ajax was still sipping her drink, but it was mostly water from the ice at this point.

“Cowgirl is coming back to the table, you should replace her,” Cochise said, pushing Ajax a little, wanting to see if alcohol was going to help the two girls finally act on their feelings.

Ajax stumbled before standing “Yea” She finished the drink Cochise had just started in one shot. She vaguely heard Cochise say “This bitch took my drink!” to Cowgirl before she was enveloped by the music and sweaty body of the dancefloor.

Swan was lost in her own world, her body moving with the rhythm on its own. she hadn’t let herself go like that in probably forever. She didn’t even realise Cowgirl had left even though she had clearly said she was tired and going back to the table. So she was particularly surprised when she turned toward the person having put their hands on her hips to see Ajax. She blinked two or three times before letting out a “Hey”, never stopping her movements.

Ajax was looking at her with an expression she had only seen on her a few times, mostly when they were sparring just the two of them or when Swan was ordering people around. Swan couldn't lie to herself, Ajax was very attractive. The smaller woman could probably lift her up easily and Swan wasn’t sure she was against it.

“Hey” Ajax answered, her hands still on Swan’s hips moving with her. “Didn’t peg of you as a dancing kind of person”

Swan grinned “I’m not”. She wrapped her arms around Ajax’s neck and closed the small gap between them placing her mouth very close to Ajax’s ear “but you’re not either and here we are”. She stepped back a little watching Ajax’s reaction. Evil woman, Ajax thought, growling.

Truth be told, Swan and Ajax had almost made out a few times already. Alcohol was heavily involved everytime and they refused to talk about it. But this time was different, usually they would only get this close in private. At Ajax's lack of answer, Swan chuckled and turned around in her arm, keeping her close. They danced like that for a while, not knowing Cowgirl and Cochise were analysing their actions.

“They’re too comfortable” Cowgirl stated, one hand holding her drink, the other holding her head “No way they haven’t banged already”.

“These two? They’re like the least subtil people I know. Have you seen how Ajax looks at her?” Cochise snickered. “Pretty sure they’re in love and somehow don’t know it”.

“To be fair, Ajax is the most obvious person on earth when it comes to this kind of thing. Remember that barista that put her number on her coffee cup and Ajax was just pissed something was written on it? I had to explain why to her” Cowgirl giggled.

Cochise agreed “She is dense in that sense it’s true, but I had hoped Swan was gonna be better, not sure she is”. They both sighed and looked back at the two idiots on the dancefloor.

Ajax’s hands were now moving on Swan’s body as they danced, Swan leading the way. At some point, Swan had laid her head back on Ajax’s shoulder. “Wanna get out of here” Ajax whispered in her ear. Swan straightened up and took Ajax’s hand in hers, leading her back to their table. ”Just need to grab my vest.” She said while they were making their way to Cochise and Cowgirl who had the biggest smiles plastered on their faces.

From behind Swan’s back, Ajax grimaced when Cochisel winked at her while giving Swan her vest.

“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do” exclaimed Cowgirl as they left, still holding hands. Cochise burst out laughing when Ajax gave them the middle finger.

The walk to Ajax apartment was quick and silent. As if any word could break what they had now that they were away from the loud music and scent of alcohol.

Swan only released Ajax’s hand when they stood in front of the door. Ajax fumbled a bit while unlocking her door. As soon as the door was closed, Swan took Ajax's face in her hands and kissed her passionately. It took half a second for Ajax to react and deepen the kiss.

A part of Ajax's brain thought about the repercussion this night could have. How Cleon would probably not be happy with Ajax sleeping with her second in command. How Swan might not want to see her after that. How this could be the end of her time with the Warriors if things didn’t work out. But the other part of her brain, the one saying “finally” was louder, so Ajax let her go of her inner doubt and made the most of her night with Swan.

In the morning, Ajax woke up with a very naked very asleep Swan in her bed. It hadn’t just been a dream after all. She wasn’t sure if she would have preferred for it to be one. What to do. Ajax gaze at Swan’s sleeping face for a little too long. You can’t catch feelings girl, Ajax told herself. She tried her best to get out of bed and out of the room without waking Swan up. Her head was starting to hurt letting her know she drank way too much the night before.

Once out the bedroom and in her kitchen she took a tall glass of water contemplating her options. She could act like it was all a big mistake and let Swan know they should never mention it again. Which wasn’t true at all. Ajax knew the alcohol just helped her make the move she wanted to make for a while now.

She could say exactly that. That she had thought about Swan a lot and that last night was fun and she wouldn’t be against doing it again. Maybe not the first part. It was too close to her true feelings and she didn’t want to think about that on that specific morning.

While she was coming up with her plan, Ajax heard the squeaking of her bedroom door. Swan had stolen some of her clothes, not being able to find hers that were in the entrance of the apartment. It definitely didn’t help Ajax with her not thinking about feelings decision.

“Hey” Swan sounded uncharacteristically shy.

“Hey. You slept well?” Ajax tried to sound nonchalant but was failing miserably. Swan nodded as an answer. Ajax tried to fill the silence. “I have pancake mix if you want some pancakes, don’t have much else to be frank.”

“Pancakes is good”. Swan looked at her clothes from the floor. “Is it okay if I keep this for now?” she said pointing at the outfit she had on.

Ajax was getting the pancake mix out and glanced at Swan “yeah no problem” she said trying not to sound too happy about it. Her clothes looked good on Swan, what could she say.

“Thanks.” Swan lips curled into a tiny smile. She sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “Need help with anything?” She asked, trying her best not to blush looking at Ajax arms, thinking of the night they just had. They would probably have to talk about it at some point.

“No, I'm fine”. It was weird for them, being so cordial.

Swan looked around the room, playing with her hands to calm her nerves. She opened her mouth to talk but Ajax spoke first. “So yesterday huh. It was fun…” Ajax wasn’t looking at her at all, seemingly focused on making pancakes.

“Fun… yes it was fun.” It was way more than fun, Swan thought, it was something she had hoped would happen for a few months now. But she couldn't say that to Ajax. For her it was just having fun with a friend. If Ajax would have looked at Swan she probably could have seen the deception in her eyes. But she didn’t so Ajax continued “If you want we can do this again, you know to let go of the pressure and everything or we can never talk about it again and I won’t bother you anymore”. Ajax really hoped it would be the first option. If she couldn’t be with Swan as a couple at least she could be with her physically. She looked up at Swan who seemed lost in thought.

After a pause, Swan answered “I wouldn’t be against having fun again, if that’s what you want”.

That’s how the weird relationship Ajax and Swan kept until Rembrandt came into the picture began.

[lesbianraskolnikov]

compiling rodya albums right now what do you think

[glorious-blackout]

@aeolianblues Your work is complete - I suspect I may be a proper Fontaines D.C. fan now 😂

(rather fitting that I'm seeing them tonight 💚🩷)

[topoet]

Weill to Western to Zappa

Kurt Weill: Berlin to Broadway (1972) 2 cds; Martha Schlamme: The World of Kurt Weill in Song (1962) – this is an lp to cd transfer. I bought the Berlin as a delete when I was living on the east coast. I enjoyed a few of Weill/Brecht songs but knew nothing beyond them. This is a revue that follows his career from The Three Penny Opera to Lost in the Stars. The cast is energetic & the ‘book’ is…

[fostexnest]

Big thank you to Get Better Records for putting out this benefit compilation! All proceeds go to orgs helping with the LA fires. It’s already raised over $1k!

There are a lot of friends on this comp. Give it a listen and please consider donating! Xoxo

[offthewall1979]

quincy jones thought michael was cuuuute 🎶💕

[kep1er-net]

TOWER_Kpop: #Kep1er 6TH Mini Album『#TIPI_TAP』発売記念 リリースイベント開催決定💫 📅11/11(月)東京 🩷A賞：個別2ショット会 🤍B賞：個別サイン会 💙C賞：全員お見送り会(動画撮影付) 対象商品は渋谷店/オンラインにて 後日予約受付開始となります📢❣️ ▶️ http://blog.livedoor.jp/towerrecords_kpop/archives/52366515.html…

[alatariel-galadriel]

Woe, 1839 German bible uncovered in family attic be upon ye!

included: names/birthdays from 1892-1985, a pressed flower, a printed condolence card (1913)

not included: several locks of hair, a handmade condolence card (march 1842), 5 deitsch marriage certificates (1851-1935) lots of notes written in deitsch, and the chemise it was wrapped in

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

>sends his "love" (albeit a coincidence) a letter bomb >asks him to visit him in hell

Battinson might be the first Batman to listen to MCR but 2022 Riddler is a Green Day fan

[lunar-years]

ok why was everyone complaining about style it sounds the exact same to me lmao

[exceptmyserotonin]

the fact that bob dylan wasn’t included on ab/ap is truly criminal. sickening, even

[iristial]

Maybe it's a sign that I saw the new Ateez comeback announcement right after I finished my first batch of quizzes :D